#‘’What the fuck did they did they do to my alley?!’’
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I am jet-lagged and emotionally wrought, but nevertheless so fucking thrilled to have finally gotten the time to sit down and read this absolutely IMMACULATE chapter.
Hazel… I feel like I say this all the time, but how you manage to keep weaving this magnificent web of yours week after week is truly awe-inspiring. We’re getting close to the end, but you still make sure to impart as much emotional impact as possible. I believe this is the first time we ever got a solid block of Alastor’s POV, and if I’m being honest, idk if I would survive more 😭😂♥️
The mood of this chapter was so needed — they’ve been going through so much, and something was bound to snap. So to see them get closer on the other side is just so rewarding. I just want them to be happy god damn it! 🥲
I know you don’t typically foray into angst, but I’m not surprised you knocked it out of the park Hazel! I hope you’re just feeling more and more proud of yourself with each chapter! ♥️
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
Where had she walked in New Orleans? Where did she meet Alastor’s father? You had to wonder what he had looked like. Surely he was handsome. Was he kind to her, like Alastor was to you? Or had it been a one night stand?
A small smile, she didn’t look like the type but looks could be deceiving. Alastor didn’t look like the kind of man who kissed bloodied cheeks and tossed heads into holes.
ruminating on Alastor’s mom is gonna get me every fucking time tbh 😩 and the second part with Alastor’s deceiving looks… that pretty face and charm will take him everywhere!
You knew he wasn’t a virgin, and he’d mentioned before he’d been happily coupled with others before his preferences became their frustrations.
BABYYY OMG THIS WENT STRAIGHT THROUGH MY HEART 😩
Did they properly express their gratitude? Doubtful. How many times did he acquiesce to his partner’s wants and then be treated like it was the expectation and not an exception of his affections?
no one will care about him the way we care about him — it’s simply not possible
The closer you got, the more nervous you were to see him. Not knowing how he felt, be it angry or worried or a mix of the two, was doing you in.
imagining him angry is honestly so scary; my anxiety just ticked up 😩
From insulted to panicked, you realized you’d forgotten about your face. Pushing the heavy wooden door open to the bathroom, your reflection caught you off guard. Your eyes were encircled in black, scleras red, blush smeared into your hairline, and your lips were soft around the edges from misplaced lipstick. You looked like a wreck in human form.
HONESTLY MY WORST NIGHTMARE
With one more glance at your disheveled appearance you sheepishly returned to the entrance and peeked into the dining room again. Everyone was dressed so nicely. You could imagine Alastor fitting in quite well.
WHY DID THIS MAKE MY HEART CLENCH?? 😩♥️
“I thought you’d be more fatale and less femme. Anyways, your deadweight’s in the alley.”
MIMZYYYY!! tbh this is such a perfect introduction for her ❤️🔥
He turned, smiled, and rushed towards you. Taking your head in his hands he kissed you on the lips, and when you pulled back he leaned in, tongue pressing into your mouth.
BRUV WE ARE IN PUBLIC!!
Parks were different. Parks were made for such things.
not only for kisses 👀 hehehe
He was drunk. Completely smashed. Normally you wouldn’t care, drunk Alastor could be quite cute. But you’d been prepared for and in need of someone to talk to. Someone to ease the mess of feelings in your gut. Instead you were handed a job as caretaker and impromptu driver. You’d have to wait until the morning for any kind of sympathetic comfort.
the way I immediately feel the frustration and disappointment. he’s not even just drunk, but SLOPPILY so 😩
Alastor pulled his arm from your hold, “At that little park. Audubon.” He pointed west, saying it with a perfect accent. “Anyway, I’m gonna kill him. Maybe right now! Did I tell ya? I know where he lives.” He crossed the street without looking.
LET THE BABYSITTING COMMENCE 🫠
“Alastor, yes. He’s got two kids, a wife. He stays out late, obsessin’ over us no doubt.”
my cortisol has spiked, but there’s something about this line that just makes me smile 😂🙈
“Who are you to stop me? To tell me,” a pause as he lost his balance and leaned too far to the right, catching himself with a sneer to his own legs. He turned back and continued on his way, “what I can and cannot do.” You stopped. The sound of his mother’s shoes no longer snapping behind him made Alastor pause his clumsy march and look back at you. “Are ya really not comin’?” His sharp tone had shifted down to a whiny, almost pleading one.
so much here… the hurt from his words, but also just how clearly we can see that he’s barely keeping it together. wonderfully executed, my love 🥹♥️
Hiding yourself from him felt like betrayal, so you’d abandoned it some time ago. Your chin quivered, hands gripping the sides of your dress in stress. Your eyes were pleading with him to not do this. To not throw you away so easily. Diminish you with one slurred sentence. It felt like a dare to your pride. A choice, your self respect or his attention. It was a rhetorical question, as the answer would be a revelation to an entirely different quandary.
UGHHHH IT HURTS SO GOOD!! he really is coming off as so callous right now — it’s brutal 😩
Alastor stared you down, his height finally mattering in a way you didn’t like.
SHIVERS
The only way he could ever truly hurt you was with that cutting muscle behind his teeth.
HAZEL OH MY GODDDD 😭🫠
Turning around, you walked the way you’d both just come because truth be told you had no idea how to get home from where you were. You just needed to get away from him before you said something you didn’t mean. Before he said something you couldn’t forget.
as heartbreaking as this is, I admire that Autumn is walking away before it gets worse and not like~ digging in from the pain. i don’t know that i’d be that strong 😭
You’d barely gotten five steps when you heard a clank to the ground. Turning just enough to see behind you, you noticed the car door key on the sidewalk. Alastor’s grin wide and childlike.
BITCH!! 😭
He slumped against the passenger side window the entire car ride home. You struggled with the shifting stick, and he didn’t offer any help. A petulant brat pouting into the glass.
tbh nothing I hate more than a tense car ride… ALASTOR GOD DAMN IT!! 😩
“Suit yourself. I don’t have patience for this, Alastor. You’re acting like a brat when I’m the one who had the hard night.” You turned to go upstairs before coming back, something your mother always did in arguments that you hated, “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. We’ll talk in the morning.”
THE TURNING BACK IS ALWAYS SUCH A KNIFE IN THE GUT
It wasn’t until you were under the covers, alone, did you begin to cry. It was mostly anger, if you were honest. But a good dose of self pity mixed in. Practically running to find him, after thinking about just him for hours before, and to be met with a drunken child was disappointing beyond measure. And the disrespect of tossing his keys…
THE KEYS!!! IT WAS SUCH A SLAP IN THE FACE!! 😩
You could remember the uneasy feeling you had when your mother would leave you with friends when she had work. How every inch moved felt like you were brushing into poison ivy, it wasn’t your space, you didn’t know the rules or the norms. Now you felt you no longer knew your place in Alastor’s home.
this is truly such a horrific feeling… i hate that we’ve all seemed to feel the sting of it 🥺
Which was fine, you lied to yourself. You just needed to know the parameters so you could stay within them. Not take things too seriously. Not expect too much from him.
Not give too much of yourself.
this is such a specific form of fear of rejection… I can relate only too well 😩
You couldn’t believe you had wanted to tell him you loved him. How long had you choked back those words for your own personal safety, just to be in a man’s home far from your own with no real way back.
I’M WRITHING OH MY GODDD THE HURT AND THE SHAMEEE WHYY??
A shiny and sunlit movie played of him slipping off your shoes and putting yours on his feet.
I am honestly never not thinking about the whole thing with the shoes…
Lying down again, you tried to take deep breaths. He’d said he wasn’t mad at you. Was he not allowed to make mistakes? Could he not be angry around you without you taking it personally even when he said it wasn't for you? That was unfair of you. You were expecting a drunk man to speak clearly and with well thought out perception of how he’d be heard. The reasons for his drunkenness were unknown, and when you stopped to consider things more, you’d never just out right told him how you felt. Until you were upset and going up the stairs. Admittedly, to your defense, he was very drunk.
this is genuinely one of the most emotional mature things I’ve ever read in my entire life — and something I’m gonna try to keep in mind the next time I’ve lost my temper
The idea of him waking up to an empty home and a migraine almost brought you back to tears. Alastor’s distaste for being alone had become clear, in the way he used to go out often just to have dance company, how he so quickly pulled you into his home and lap. You’d feel his heart break from across the river if you up and left while he slept.
and I’m full circle to wanting nothing more than to cuddle this man… Hazel I swear to fucking god 🫠♥️
The best way to find out if someone was worth trusting was to trust them. Alastor had been worth so much more than you’d expected a person could be. This was just a hiccup.
NO WORDS JUST MY HEART WEEPING
Alastor, what more could he do? What on earth could he possibly get away with? He had no interest in stepping out, and he couldn’t easily date when his hobbies and home were crime scenes.
GETTING BIG FEELINGS AGAIN FOR OUR LONELY, MURDEROUS BOY 🥺♥️
He would make it better. He would say whatever really happened in the morning and fix it. You could trust that and let your eyes finally close. Alastor hadn’t failed you yet, and you believed he wouldn’t start now.
Alastor, darling, for the love of god please I’m begging for clarification 😭
When you woke up, it was early. Unnaturally early for you. But stress did that. Whatever the opposite of Christmas morning, that was the mechanism pulling you out of bed as the sun was just beginning to rise.
BEEN THERE AND IT SUCKS
He was still asleep on the couch when you crept down the stairs. He looked like shit. Which made you feel a little good. If he looked perfect it’d be immensely dissatisfying.
this was such a glorious way to humanize our otherwise ethereal husband 🙏🏻✨
You heard the creak of the screen door and felt the old wood bend behind you as he finally stumbled out. He plopped down beside you, before lowering himself to his right side and resting his head on your lap. He stared out at the greenhouse like you did. Your hands twitched to touch him, but you kept them to your sides.
AUTUMN I TRULY ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTH
“You are my darling.” He said with a raspy voice hoarse from an intoxicated dehydration. You finally looked at him, but he didn’t meet the gaze. “That’s who you are.”
“You sure didn’t make me feel like your anything last night.” Your tone was cold and sharp, spoken like a stranger scolding another. Stay strong, you thought. Make him understand how he made you feel before, even if you were already cooling off.
You saw the fabric of your white slip turn a storm grey beneath his face, tears tumbling across the bridge of his nose before seeping into the night dress.
LIKE GENUINELY SO FUCKING STRONG — I WOULD HAVE FOLDED LIKE A WET NEWSPAPER JESUS CHRIST 😭
He nodded, slick and smooth face gliding over the silk. A sob, choked and broken as he buried his head again into your lap. “I’d never felt so helpless, I just…I responded very selfishly. I’m sorry.”
The heavy and hot indignation finally began to cool in you, and you let yourself run your fingers through his hair.
AHHHHH THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT I WANT: TO PET THIS SAD LITTLE MAN
You thought for a moment. The safety in Alastor’s killings were the degrees of separation between him and his targets. The plausible deniability. The lack of obvious motive. If you could find that same safety net when killing Brady, then, sure. “When he’s no longer a threat to us. When no one will be shocked to hear he’s dead.”
YOU BAD BITCH OMGGGG Kenneth must be feeling a chill down his spine as we speak!! 😂
“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” Alastor inched his body closer to you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” His head turned, the soft and sharp features alike of his face burying into your lap. A gentle shake of his shoulders as he lost his fight to not weep openly into you broke your heart. He let out a weak and muffled series of sounds, followed by a louder and clearer, “Do you want to leave me?”
I ACTUALLY CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE THIS. THE FACT THAT I CAN’T COMFORT HIM MYSELF IS A FUCKING CRIME!!
You pulled his head up by the back of his collar. With your first good look at him in the crisp orange morning light you could see his lips were red and raw from nervous chewing, his hair lacking its usual shine or form. The right side of his face was wet. Tears new and old began to reroute and slide down his high cheeks and pointed jaw. They met at the very bottom of his chin, for the first time in their short lives, and dropped onto you in little couplings. Falling like they were made to always do just that. Just now. Just for him. A fate you could understand so naturally it was bordering on unnerving. A love story you were sure you were playing out.
HAZEL SHAKESPEARE IS GETTING US GOOD Y’ALL HOW I’M STILL CONSCIOUS DEFIES SCIENCE
How rarely you’d seen a man cry. In the past perhaps you’d have been put off. Cringed. Considered it a pathetic show of weakness and lost respect for them. But all you could feel now was a pain so deep and all encompassing it felt as if your skin was cracking off. A dry river bed in the heat of summer. What had been there before? Disgust? Indifference? Even his tears were of a magnitude more important than anyone else’s. Every piece of him mattered more to you.
this whole paragraph is a baseball bat to my psyche
You were in that worst kind of love; Unconditional.
SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME MEGARA
“Give me a little time. I’ll show you how stupid of a question that is over our first fight,” Your thumbs wiped away his tears. The handkerchief came back to view, so you gingerly took it and dabbed the sacred lacrima from his cheeks. You took his head between both hands and stared unflinching into the sweet, sun kissed brown of his eyes, “I never want to leave you. Even if I do, even if somehow I’m convinced to go, you’ll have to rip your heart out of my cold dead hands or I’ll take it with me.”
I’VE LOST ANY AND ALL ARTICULATION
Another torrent of tears from him and a reply so earnest and so sure your body leaned back with surprise, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” He half whispered it into the ether.
HAZEL PLEASE I’M SO WEAK IT’S TOO BEAUTIFUL OH MY GOD
“If you ever speak to me like you did last night again, with that sharp tone and cruel words, sober or not…” you trailed off, begging him to not make you say it. Don’t force you to make threats you didn’t want to keep. Things you’d be ashamed of not following through with. Little self failures you were genetically predisposed of committing.
“You can take my heart with you.”
AAAHHHHH I CAN’T BELIEVE I GET A SECOND DOSE OF THIS THROUGH ALASTOR’S POV — I am floundering and grateful all at once 😩♥️
- — - — - — - — -
A trickle of fear dropped down his spine. Worst case scenario didn’t quite exist as some ladder of concerns, he just felt tremendous fear you were dead. That was the only rung. Had someone been watching you, that he didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with watching Brady?
ALASTORRR I’m not strong enough for this!! 😭♥️
Alastor didn’t move. Hand still in the air between them. Johnny registered the distinct lack of light in Alastor’s eyes. He took a deep breath in, Alastor looked like a photograph of a man before him. There but, just a facsimile of human.
he’s in such disbelief omggg 🥺 this paints such a visual!!
Alastor’s mouth opened and then closed. He swallowed, then smiled, and his head did a little tilt. Ruth looked from him to Johnny. Alastor’s rolodex of canned responses spun infinitely around in his mind. Nothing was catching. There wasn’t a facial expression or comment or body posture in existence he had prepared for this conversation. Because he hadn’t ever predicted such a situation.
baby got the rug pulled out from under his feet 😭
The man he punched? What was his name again? No. He didn’t know where you worked. He didn’t know your name.
William, for good measure, my darling buck
He was in disarray, a tremble in his hands making him pause and stare at his own body with a loss of recognition.
I love how he’s so immediately ready to pay whatever price while he’s literally floating away from himself… THE WAY YOU MAKE ME LOVE THIS MAN 🥲
“Hey, I was there that night you cornered Tommy into the booth. I saw you two. The night he hit her. Tommy was a real piece of shit. And I’m glad he’s gone.”
JOHNNY!! 😭😭😭
“Well, go have a drink, try to just… try to stay calm.” Ruth’s words barely entered his mind as he stumbled out into the night. Thoughts came so quickly and in such a multitude that Alastor found his head entirely empty, unable to latch onto any single one.
he’s in such shock; I know we’re going through it with Kenneth but damn this is pulling at my heartstrings 🥺
Long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles an uncomfortable white with the force. How much would it take to snap the wheel? Had anyone ever tried before?
blacking out on the drive and now just so fucking angry… he really knows how to get me scared (for him) 😭
There was no fear you’d say anything. It simply didn’t exist. Even trying to conjure the idea of you telling anyone who he was and what he did was ridiculous to him. A dark part of him knew that notion was born out of a blinding fear and not out of true trust. Because if you did such a thing, it’d mean he’d been wrong about everything. That he couldn’t trust his own decisions anymore. What would he do if you did confess?
WHY ARE THEY SO SIMILAR AND SO NERVOUS ABOUT COMMUNICATING?? 🥲
Alastor made a beeline for the bathrooms just past the entrance of the Grano D'oro. His hair was mussed, his pupils constricted. He drew his bottom lip in and began chewing it nervously, hands pushing his hair back into some form of style. A cough to clear out his tightening throat, he straightened his bow tie and suit jacket. Staring at his reflection, he flinched. An unsettling feeling in his bones that if he stared long enough, it would take on a life of its own.
THE PARALLEL WITH BEING A MESS IN THE BATHROOM AHHHH!!!
Alastor offered passing pleasantries to a few people and smiled as he was escorted past them to the private dining section of Grano D'oro.
picturing him going through the motions is honestly so painful 🥺
Through the kitchen, with a smile and another nod to the staff who all sang his name as he walked by, Alastor made it to the barely visible door to the side.
but I am absolutely not surprised the kitchen staff adores him 🥹
“Little late for you isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be at home with your heart.” She dragged out the word, eyes rolling not at the idea of you but at the idea of someone being more important than a night out.
THIS IS SO FUCKING LOADED — HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE COME TO MIMZY TO TALK ABOUT READER AAAAHHHH!!!
“Oh fuck.” Mimzy added two more fingers to the glass. “What for?”
this feels very me for some reason lmao
Nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, biting red lines into the soft pink flesh. Mimzy stared, unnoticed. She couldn’t remember the last time he looked sad. He did sometimes open up when drunk, perhaps smiling through a pitiful story. Or dancing when she knew he was bruised in either his ego or his heart. But, normally, for Alastor, he kept the obvious and plain emotions kept tightly buttoned up.
I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH — the way she sees him is just… I can’t put it into words!
“And you can’t just,” she made a fist with her thumb stuck out and dragged it across her neck in a cutting motion, “get rid of the issue?”
Mimzy you rascal!!
Killing Brady would solve everything. And it’d feel good. It’d feel….ah, he leaned back, letting his chest open and fill with the shadow of satisfaction, it’d be the best kill yet. How would he do it, he wondered. It’d have to be special. Slow. Perhaps even over the course of days. Oh, or better yet, perhaps he could show Brady exactly how he disposed of his targets. Piece by piece, taking from him and letting him watch as he buried his parts in deep holes. Giving him all the answers to his questions before snuffing out his nagging life.
as much as I belittle Kenneth, I am no match for the way Alastor wants to belittle Kenneth
No one would believe Brady, he considered. If someone pulled him back into the shadows of his tree lined street with a blade to his throat and gave him the warning of what was to come if he kept this up….Did he have any allies in this at work?
MUAHAHAHAHA I LOVE ME SOME PARANOID KENNETH! Go get him honey 😂❤️🔥😈
In fact, as he took a slower sip of his somehow still full glass, he thought she was quite right. Brady was testing his pride. Hurting the closest person he had to get at him. This was villain activity.
I just love the irony of Kenneth “Clutching Pearls” Brady being painted A VILLAIN (and it’s not untrue)
Either Brady thought Alastor was all bark and no bite, only attacking men alone at night, or, worse, he thought Alastor was using you.
I can’t lie, his masculine pride is really doing something for me lmao
“Don’t try to distract me. I’m in no mood for such trivial things, Mimz. My love was arrested. At work no less. I’m useless.”
ALASTORRRR I CAN’T WITH YOU SAYING THIS SO CASUALLY!!
You looked different than she’d expected. She wasn’t really sure what she was expecting…actually, on second thought, she had just imagined a female Alastor. Alastor with a perm and an empire waist dress. A little out of fashion but classy.
why is this so endearing to me? 😭♥️
He’d translate his determination into lavishing you. When you made a yelp and pushed him away, he was confused. Why weren’t you happy to see him?
and the miscommunication begins 😭🙈
Your breath against his body when you and him first entertained affection came to his mind so intensely he thought maybe he had been pulled back in time.
HEHEHE Alastor I was thinking the same thing earlier 👀
Brady had done this. You’d never– He was just trying to clean up his mess. Why did people think they could dictate his life so freely? Why did what he wanted to do not matter, even though he was just trying to be a good man?
I know it’s drunk brain, but I’m so sad that he’s so quick to believe we would buy into some BS from KENNETH FUCKING BRADY 😭
Alastor paused to stare down at his legs. Et tu, crura? Even his own body was betraying him.
An ‘et tu’ will always get me good but this is also just so adorable to me how offended he is by losing his balance 😂♥️
What an odd question. Had you used your stage name so long you’d forgotten your true one. He laughed, what a silly thing to ask! “Now who is drunk?”
omggg he really didn’t realize what else came out of his mouth!! 😭
Your turning and walking back forward the restaurant made his eyes roll. Oh, the keys still. He pulled them from his pocket, fine, have them. I give up. Failure pile growin’ every minute.
Reminder that pity parties are not cute — our guy fucked 👏🏻 up 👏🏻
But when you turned around, he could feel the rage rolling off of your body. Alastor couldn’t pinpoint what it was about your face that was different than usual, but just beneath your skin he could see a you he’d never met before. One he didn’t care to meet.
case in point 🫠
The pain behind his sternum was akin to a splintering rod; stiff, solid, and biting every time he moved. No one had ever made him feel this way before. He couldn’t put his finger on the feeling though, it was sadness, and it hurt, but there was something deeper. Something underneath these shallow reactions that dredged up a vague sense of mourning.
oh darling your drunk brain got you so focused on the wrong thing 😭
He slammed the car door behind him and fell into the sofa as soon as he could. Nothing went right. The day had started so wonderfully… you’d felt like a part of himself he’d finally found. And now….
SOBBING
He thought it and immediately winced. Not alone alone. Please, if anyone had been listening, please disregard it. That wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t mean that at all.
HE CAN’T BE ALONE AND I’LL NEVER BE OKAY ABOUT IT
His thoughts and the room were liquid and floating up into the atmosphere. Alastor was confident he would follow them up.
we all float here Alastor 😂🎈
Patience… there it was. You’d lost patience with him. And you’d been so patient for months now. Waiting in bars and cars while he killed. Waiting for him while he threw body parts into holes and snapping jaws. Waiting for weeks beside him for inspiration to strike and for him to seek your intimacy in more serious touch.
I thought I’d be okay in the second round but IT HURTS EVEN MORE??
The yellow pillow was pulled to his face to muffle his scream.
this being one of his coping mechanisms when he feels embarrassed/ashamed of himself just… really cuts through me for some reason. There’s an innocence to it that just makes my heart swell 😭♥️
For all he knew, you’d made up your mind already. How odd. He himself was the cat in the box. He could already be dead and not even know it.
WE GET LATIN AND SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT ALL IN ONE CHAPTER?? IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS
The handle of your bag peeking out from under the dresser. It had been in the closet, he had emptied it and put it there for you so he knew that to be a fact.
OH GOD OF COURSE HE WOULD NOTICE THE BAG
He couldn’t find the courage to check. Rushing past it like it could come to life and grab him by the ankles, he went to the nightstand beside his side of the bed and opened the drawer, the bright yellow of your handkerchief calming him just a sliver. If he kept it, you’d have to come back. He could call you and remind you to come back for it. And then he could convince you to stay. His mother always said he was good with words. If you forgot it at his house when you left he’d have a way to bring you home again. Fresh tears welled, the backs of his hands smearing them into his hairline.
I AM A WRITHING FUCKING MESS ON THE FLOOR!! HAZEL!! 😩😭
Sitting on the second to last step of the house, he took a moment to collect himself. Being so frazzled, so undone, wasn’t like him. That foreignness just added to the panic. Bringing a hand to his chest, he opened his shirt to run his fingers down his sternum and to the left. A beating heart, evidence he was the survivor in every encounter he’d been in. But now, half a house between your and his back, why did he feel the most in danger? Rarely did fight or flight kick in, the last time he felt it was rolling around with that man who’d tried to choke the life out of you.
No strange man here now. Just strange feelings.
Hazel I actually really fucking can’t with you right now… ♥️
If you didn’t accept it….Alastor had never begged a day in his life, but he could see himself begging you to stay. Perhaps hugging your ankles and promising things he didn’t have. There was no longer an impossibility in what he would do, which was alarming. The idea of him being so pathetic and pitiful was nauseating, however there was no one and nothing that could stop that if you got up and left.
OH MY GODDDDD
But that was what made you worth the risk. It began as entertainment, but soon enough the dome of your stage extended out and around him, sheltering Alastor in the warm light of your presence. And now as he looked around the railing of his stairs, he was scared to see the exit lights flicker on.
AAAAAHHHH!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!! I AM A MESS!!! AAAHHH!!!
And he’d made you feel like nothing to him. The mountain of derelictions crumbled under the weight of perhaps his biggest failure of the evening, an avalanche of embarrassment and shame washed over him and he didn’t try to impede his tears. Men were only supposed to cry on their wedding day and at funerals, but he supposed this day could still go either way. Could still be as pivotal to his happiness.
ahhhh you’ve gone with the baseball bat again, I see. Excellent choice, my love 🫠
‘I’m sorry’ was just crystals of salt dropped in the gulf.
HAZEL!!! I CAN’T!!!
“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” He pulled himself closer again. Brady was nothing compared to the threat of losing you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” What a joke he was. How high and mighty and curated he tried to be that he forgot the point of it. A shield he turned to you was just a barrier between what he desperately wanted by his side. His tears returned with renewed vigor, the complete breakdown of his manicured image was a tell tale heart he couldn’t smile away anymore, the greatest weakness he was never so happy to call his own. Muffled by your clothing and inviting lap, “I just love you so much…” he choked and then sucked in a deep breath to try and get control of himself, shifting his face to the side again to watch your face for an immediate reaction to his question, “Do you want to leave me?”
A MUTTERED CONFESSION!!! YOU KNOW WHAT HAZEL YOU WIN THE WAR OKAY?? MY CASTLE HAS BEEN SUFFICIENTLY PLUNDERED AND YOU CAN RULE OVER MY SOUL AND DOMAIN AS YOU PLEASE — I WAS A FOOL TO EVER KEEP UP THE FIGHT!
He couldn’t promise himself he wouldn’t keep that little yellow fabric in his hands even after you parted, but he could swear to not try and guilt you back into his arms.
I really don’t know how I’ve made it this far… I’m being pummeled into DUST
Take his heart back? His mind finally processed the words. It was yours. The morning had proved to him he couldn’t claw it back if he truly wanted, and if he was further honest with himself, he didn’t want it. It was better off with you. He felt the air cooling the once body-warm tears, he whispered what he felt was too vulnerable to say at full volume, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” His eyes looked down at your feet pointed in towards his own. Was this pathetic display not making it glaringly evident he was a man turned inside out? Guts in his hands and heart in yours?
transforming from dust into vapor…
His body was a tool, and he’d use every tool he had available to make you understand what you meant to him. Would you feel different now, now that he knew you loved him? Would he find your body warmer, more inviting… Could he make you scream your love for him?
Later, he would have to bookmark that idea. The confession was too fragile still, a crystal figurine too precious to even take out of the box.
AND THEN YOU END THIS FUCKING MASTERPIECE WITH TWO PARAGRAPHS THAT MAKE ME WANT TO FLING MYSELF INTO THE OCEAN (AFFECTIONATE)
A Doe in Fall (Part 13)
⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall
A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.
Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie Part 13 - The Release 📍
Late? Yes. Buuuuut
If ya missed it:
Oct 19th Kinktober Day 19 - Proffer smut💦 Oct 13th Kinktober Day 13 - Handled smut💦
Where we left off: Autumn got released from the station to learn Alastor is at an unknown place called the Golden Dish.
Part 13 The Release
Two idiots meet on a sidewalk, one is drunk and one is stressed. Angst ensues. First Half is reader’s POV, second is Alastor’s POV.
���Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem!Reader, two parts in one, still not smut cuz we’re waiting for the special moment, surprise Latin, Alastor drunkenly remembers his accent, angst, first fights, muffled confessions, bare feet, too much alcohol, Mimzy is her own tag, I promise she’ll be back」
MDNI 🥃 😵💫
The Release (Autumn)
Your relief Alastor wasn’t there was clouded by the slight hurt Alastor wasn’t there.
Any ability to mask your true feelings left you with the exhaustion of being arrested at work, in front of customers and companions alike. This was made obvious by Johnny’s slight pat to your shoulder, “Want me to walk you there?”
You shook your head. Everyone already knew too much.
“It’s not too far, I think… I’ll be fine.” You could imagine Alastor’s panicked face. Had you ever actually seen it though?
With a wave, you left Johnny and began the walk to, presumably, the Golden Dish. It was cold, already the night bringing a chill. Eyes to your feet, you realized you were still in her shoes.
Where had she walked in New Orleans? Where did she meet Alastor’s father? You had to wonder what he had looked like. Surely he was handsome. Was he kind to her, like Alastor was to you? Or had it been a one night stand?
A small smile, she didn’t look like the type but looks could be deceiving. Alastor didn’t look like the kind of man who kissed bloodied cheeks and tossed heads into holes.
Flipping the card over again, you lifted it to the light.
Tentatively you brought it to your nose and gave it a sniff. No perfume.
The list of possibilities ran wild.
You knew he wasn’t a virgin, and he’d mentioned before he’d been happily coupled with others before his preferences became their frustrations. But you’d never stopped to really imagine it past a fleeting image. Alastor kissing someone else. Alastor going down on someone else. Did he enjoy it as much as he enjoyed you?
It wasn’t necessarily jealousy, but your stomach did a little flip. Did they properly express their gratitude? Doubtful. How many times did he acquiesce to his partner’s wants and then be treated like it was the expectation and not an exception of his affections?
It wasn’t as late as you had thought and the streets were busy. It made you feel a little safer. Not having a purse helped that.
You weren’t entirely sure where Rosseau was, and after stopping a very lovely looking couple, you got hastily pointed toward the water. Anxiously, you kicked up your pace. The closer you got, the more nervous you were to see him. Not knowing how he felt, be it angry or worried or a mix of the two, was doing you in. Turning left, you practically jogged down the street in search of The Golden Dish.
On the first pass, you didn’t find it. You crossed the street and tried again, getting more of the buildings into sight. Nothing.
Crossing back, you found the door with a shiny golden number three.
The restaurant looked nice, but it wasn’t the Golden Dish. The name above the door was Grano D'oro.
You leaned into the alley, hoping maybe there was a man waiting with a secret door. It was pristine; no men, no trash, no mystery liquids.
Taking a moment to smooth your hair and adjust your dress, you walked in.
The entrance was lavish, the floor a black and white marble and fixtures that shined like gold. A man stood behind a host stand, looking at you expectantly. When you were within a few feet, he asked if you had a reservation.
“Uh, no. I’m looking for Alastor.”
“Does Alastor have a reservation?” He looked down, presumably at a paper of names, and then back up at you.
You looked past the parted red curtains into the dining room. “I don’t think so…ah! I have a card.” You handed it over and he gave it a look, flipping it over before nodding. “Just a moment, miss. Please wait here. You’re welcome to use the ladies room to clean up.”
From insulted to panicked, you realized you’d forgotten about your face. Pushing the heavy wooden door open to the bathroom, your reflection caught you off guard. Your eyes were encircled in black, scleras red, blush smeared into your hairline, and your lips were soft around the edges from misplaced lipstick. You looked like a wreck in human form.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” you grabbed a tissue from the nearest stall and wetted it under the faucet, removing every bit of make up you could. The skin under your eyelashes still had a darkness to them and nothing could be done for the bloodshot eyes, but you let that go. You did away with the lipstick entirely, and most of the blush was out of your hair and off your cheeks. Now you just looked tired.
Mortified, you remembered the couple you’d stopped and asked for directions from. They must have thought you’d had a fight or were some loon. Hell, maybe that was why no one stopped to bother you.
With one more glance at your disheveled appearance you sheepishly returned to the entrance and peeked into the dining room again. Everyone was dressed so nicely. You could imagine Alastor fitting in quite well. The host returned, not saying a word and sans Alastor. Before you could find the courage to ask him anything, a hand smacked your arm from behind.
“I thought you’d be more fatale and less femme. Anyways, your deadweight’s in the alley.”
A small woman with bleach blonde hair had snuck up behind you, seemingly from the outside, “He’s got his card back. He’s your problem now!”
She brushed past you and disappeared into the restaurant.
“Have a nice evening.” The host dismissed you. A confused pause, the series of events had been so fast you were left quite literally spun around.
When you tentatively turned back to leave, you saw Alastor stumbling onto the sidewalk.
“Hey! Alastor.” You half shouted, Alastor seemingly unaware of his surroundings. Apparent in how he nearly collided into a group passing the restaurant.
He turned, smiled, and rushed towards you. Taking your head in his hands he kissed you on the lips, and when you pulled back he leaned in, tongue pressing into your mouth.
You screamed into his mouth, pushing him off. Looking back briefly before dragging him away, you saw the host staring at you through the clear windowed door. He was not impressed. As much as you enjoyed his kisses, it was out of character and out of class to make out on the sidewalk.
Parks were different. Parks were made for such things.
“What has gotten into you? You taste like a fucking distillery.” You reached the corner of the street and stopped, “Where’s your car?”
He was drunk. Completely smashed. Normally you wouldn’t care, drunk Alastor could be quite cute. But you’d been prepared for and in need of someone to talk to. Someone to ease the mess of feelings in your gut. Instead you were handed a job as caretaker and impromptu driver. You’d have to wait until the morning for any kind of sympathetic comfort.
He hadn’t even mentioned the arrest yet or asked you how you were. Yes, he looked elated to see you. Eyes wide and adoring when he took you by the face. But you needed more than adoration now. And instead you had a mess of a man struggling to maintain his balance.
On the safety of his porch, or perhaps together at a bar, it’d be just fine.
But this was neither safe nor fine.
Alastor pulled his arm from your hold, “At that little park. Audubon.” He pointed west, saying it with a perfect accent. “Anyway, I’m gonna kill him. Maybe right now! Did I tell ya? I know where he lives.” He crossed the street without looking.
You had to run to catch up to him, his long legs carrying him further and faster than you. It took a second to understand who he was talking about, clearly he’d been having a silent conversation until now. “Alastor. You’re drunk. No.” You managed to get in front of him, eyes surely begging.
“Alastor, yes. He’s got two kids, a wife. He stays out late, obsessin’ over us no doubt.”
“Alastor!” He stumbled past you and toward the park. “Hey. You can’t-,”
He wheeled around on his heels, hand pointing a sharp finger at you.
“Who are you to stop me? To tell me,” a pause as he lost his balance and leaned too far to the right, catching himself with a sneer to his own legs. He turned back and continued on his way, “what I can and cannot do.” You stopped. The sound of his mother’s shoes no longer snapping behind him made Alastor pause his clumsy march and look back at you. “Are ya really not comin’?” His sharp tone had shifted down to a whiny, almost pleading one.
“Who am I, Alastor?” In the past you’d try to hide when you were wounded, as prey animals often do. But you were different from who you were before. Already, you were changed. Hiding yourself from him felt like betrayal, so you’d abandoned it some time ago. Your chin quivered, hands gripping the sides of your dress in stress. Your eyes were pleading with him to not do this. To not throw you away so easily. Diminish you with one slurred sentence. It felt like a dare to your pride. A choice, your self respect or his attention. It was a rhetorical question, as the answer would be a revelation to an entirely different quandary.
He laughed, “Now who’s drunk?” Your arms crossed your chest and your eyes narrowed further into slits.
“I thought you’d stop if I asked. I thought I was your equal in this.”
“Well!” He gawked, “This is different. He isn’t like the others. Mister Detective Kenneth Brady is-,” he practically yelled it into the night.
“Shhh!” You hissed, a couple crossing the street to put distance between you both and themselves, “Give me your key. You can’t drive like this.”
Alastor stared you down, his height finally mattering in a way you didn’t like.
Your eyes narrowed further, Alastor. Unspoken and yet screamed across the sidewalk. You weren’t scared of him, of his height or his sharp eyes or the fact you knew he so often carried a knife beneath his vest. No. Because he was a smart man and a smart man would never be so stupid as to physically harm you. Not unless he planned to kill you. And Alastor wouldn’t do that unless you were honestly bad.
The only way he could ever truly hurt you was with that cutting muscle behind his teeth.
He tried to straighten his back to gather some kind of dignity and perhaps a show of dominance but stumbled backwards. He caught himself again with the brick wall beside him.
Mind racing, you had to think of alternatives. Fight him for the keys? Cut into his tires? Just leave him to his own selfish devices?
He could afford to fix the rubber tires, you thought. You couldn’t afford him running off the road.
“If you want me to come with you, I am driving. Make your decision now.” You put your hand out, an indication there was only one answer you expected. When his eyes flitted from your palm to your face and stared blankly, you closed it. “I won’t let a man waste my time when I’m just trying to help him. You’ve got me confused with someone else.”
Turning around, you walked the way you’d both just come because truth be told you had no idea how to get home from where you were. You just needed to get away from him before you said something you didn’t mean. Before he said something you couldn’t forget.
You’d barely gotten five steps when you heard a clank to the ground. Turning just enough to see behind you, you noticed the car door key on the sidewalk. Alastor’s grin wide and childlike.
Never had you felt true anger for him before. The water rising in your chest raged against your ribs and you were sure you’d drown in your own fury before long. Another second of imagined possibilities — kick them into the storm drain, throw them into a bush, take them and leave entirely.
Before you could pick one he stumbled over while bent in half the entire time, scooping the keys and holding them out for you to take.
A list of names flew over your tongue but stayed behind your clenched teeth, snatching the keys from his hand and leaving him to struggle behind you.
The walk was silent, Alastor several paces behind you with his hands in his pockets.
He slumped against the passenger side window the entire car ride home. You struggled with the shifting stick, and he didn’t offer any help. A petulant brat pouting into the glass.
As soon as you’d gotten into the house Alastor made a sloppy beeline to the sofa and fell face first.
“You’re mad at me.” You said from the doorway, dropping his keys into the bowl beside the door. It felt odd, you were the one who had every right to be pissed. But he was showing it in a much more egregious way. His anger made the least sense to you.
“No. I’m mad.” He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under his head. “Full stop.”
Obviously, but why? Not an ounce of compassion could be managed for you? When you were the one who’d been humiliated and dragged from your place of work in handcuffs?
“You’re acting like a child. Go to your bed. I’ll sleep here.” Sleeping alone in his bed didn’t seem right.
“You’re talkin’ to me like a child.” He closed his eyes, apparently in a fake sleep.
“You really don’t see the connection between those two things?? Atleast— go to the guest bed.” His mother’s old room. You absolutely didn’t want to sleep there.
“No.” He didn’t look at you.
You stared for a moment, disbelief painted on your face as your own frustration swelled again.
“Suit yourself. I don’t have patience for this, Alastor. You’re acting like a brat when I’m the one who had the hard night.” You turned to go upstairs before coming back, something your mother always did in arguments that you hated, “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. We’ll talk in the morning.”
He didn’t even stir.
After placing his mother’s shoes at the end of the bed, you got undressed and properly washed your face. It wasn’t until you were under the covers, alone, did you begin to cry. It was mostly anger, if you were honest. But a good dose of self pity mixed in. Practically running to find him, after thinking about just him for hours before, and to be met with a drunken child was disappointing beyond measure. And the disrespect of tossing his keys…
The bed felt so big and so foreign now. Just sitting in it made you feel like shit. A stranger, unwanted in someone else’s home. You could remember the uneasy feeling you had when your mother would leave you with friends when she had work. How every inch moved felt like you were brushing into poison ivy, it wasn’t your space, you didn’t know the rules or the norms. Now you felt you no longer knew your place in Alastor’s home.
If you weren’t scared you’d never see him again you’d have just walked the several hours home. Knees to your chin, you didn’t bother with wiping away your tears. It added to the wallowing you were experiencing.
What did he mean? Why would he say it like that? Had it been a lie the whole time, that he’d stop killing if you asked him to? Alastor had never hissed quite like he had then.
It felt like a lie, and now you questioned everything. Maybe while you worked he was out killing people. You never pushed him much about what he did while you were away.
A secondary thought simultaneously played with that one. No, you’d have noticed him at night taking care of the body. Your face slipped past your knees and pressed into the tops of your thighs, as quickly as the fear receded your melancholy swept back in.
Fine, but if he lied about stopping then you didn’t mean as much as he claimed.
Which was fine, you lied to yourself. You just needed to know the parameters so you could stay within them. Not take things too seriously. Not expect too much from him.
Not give too much of yourself.
A second wave of tears, chin trembling.
Idiot.
Maybe Brady had been right. Were you just some dumb dame? You’d done so much for him and now with some liquor you were just another person to him.
Then a sickening feeling made your throat tighten. Had getting arrested made you no longer attractive? Perhaps he blamed you. Being publicly dragged into a police station was the closest he had ever been to being found out and it was your fault. Fuck, even his name. That had been you who said it so casually.
You didn’t want to be somewhere you weren’t welcomed.
Slipping out of bed, you pulled your bag from the closet and sat it on the dresser.
You couldn’t believe you had wanted to tell him you loved him. How long had you choked back those words for your own personal safety, just to be in a man’s home far from your own with no real way back. You pulled your dresses from the closet, and paused.
Alastor had been lovingly removing your stockings just a week or so ago.
After tossing innards into the water. He’d showed you where he buried the only evidence of his expansive crimes. He trusted you with things he’d never shown anyone, something you felt sure of given his freedom.
Glancing up through tear-heavy lashes, you saw your reflection in the mirror and remembered how he kissed your shoulder and undressed you. His promise to keep you warm.
A shiny and sunlit movie played of him slipping off your shoes and putting yours on his feet.
Your mother had always said you were too quick to give up when things didn’t come easy. You resented that, but now it was ringing painfully true.
You put the dresses back, tossing your bag to the floor and kicking it halfheartedly under the dresser.
Lying down again, you tried to take deep breaths. He’d said he wasn’t mad at you. Was he not allowed to make mistakes? Could he not be angry around you without you taking it personally even when he said it wasn't for you? That was unfair of you. You were expecting a drunk man to speak clearly and with well thought out perception of how he’d be heard. The reasons for his drunkenness were unknown, and when you stopped to consider things more, you’d never just out right told him how you felt. Until you were upset and going up the stairs. Admittedly, to your defense, he was very drunk.
He owed you an apology, that was absolutely expected given the way he’d spoken and tossed his keys, but he’d done enough to earn the right to explain himself before you just up and left in the middle of the night.
The idea of him waking up to an empty home and a migraine almost brought you back to tears. Alastor’s distaste for being alone had become clear, in the way he used to go out often just to have dance company, how he so quickly pulled you into his home and lap. You’d feel his heart break from across the river if you up and left while he slept.
Johnny had said he was a mess before, clearly he did care to some degree. You’d trusted him this long. You’d killed a man for him. You could give him a night to be an ass and hear him out in the morning.
But if he didn’t apologize, if he didn’t seem to understand how selfish and unkind he had been to you… You rolled onto your side and tried to straighten your legs but felt vulnerable like that. Pulling them up again you curled into a ball and focused on deep calming breaths. It would be fine. The best way to find out if someone was worth trusting was to trust them. Alastor had been worth so much more than you’d expected a person could be. This was just a hiccup.
Thinking back on past relationships, you realized most first fights were also your last fights. If you and someone had friction, it was easiest to walk away and try again. There was no expectation of a picture perfect romance, not at all. But once someone disappointed you, it was hard to see them again in a positive light. Throwing things away had always been simpler than putting in the work to fix them. Once you’ve done that, you’ve shown someone your hand. You’ve shown them they mattered and they could use that against you.
People who knew they were important to you could hold that over your head and push just how much they could get away with.
Alastor, what more could he do? What on earth could he possibly get away with? He had no interest in stepping out, and he couldn’t easily date when his hobbies and home were crime scenes.
The person with the most to lose was him, you realized. Maybe not lose you, you didn’t pretend you were that important to him. But his life away from iron bars and cuffs was now dependent on you. If he had always been a few too many drinks away from fucking that all up, he’d have been caught a long time ago.
He would make it better. He would say whatever really happened in the morning and fix it. You could trust that and let your eyes finally close. Alastor hadn’t failed you yet, and you believed he wouldn’t start now.
When you woke up, it was early. Unnaturally early for you. But stress did that. Whatever the opposite of Christmas morning, that was the mechanism pulling you out of bed as the sun was just beginning to rise.
He was still asleep on the couch when you crept down the stairs. He looked like shit. Which made you feel a little good. If he looked perfect it’d be immensely dissatisfying. You tried to open the back door quietly but the old hinges whined and the swollen wooden door snapped against the frame when you let it go.
Sitting on the top of the porch steps that led to the backyard, if you could call such an expanse that, you tried to take in the wet cool air. It was officially fall. Soon you’d have to pull out your coat. Your toes wiggled against the flaking paint of the steps, you still needed to go home and get your shoes.
A groan and you doubled over, you were assuming so confidently that you’d still be staying with Alastor. That was a good thing, right? Or…. you weren’t sure. You had no healthy relationships to look to for guidance. Rolling your back up, you looked up at the dark cobalt sky fading into baby blue, a color that matched the ceiling of the porch above you.
You heard the creak of the screen door and felt the old wood bend behind you as he finally stumbled out. He plopped down beside you, before lowering himself to his right side and resting his head on your lap. He stared out at the greenhouse like you did. Your hands twitched to touch him, but you kept them to your sides.
“You are my darling.” He said with a raspy voice hoarse from an intoxicated dehydration. You finally looked at him, but he didn’t meet the gaze. “That’s who you are.”
“You sure didn’t make me feel like your anything last night.” Your tone was cold and sharp, spoken like a stranger scolding another. Stay strong, you thought. Make him understand how he made you feel before, even if you were already cooling off.
You saw the fabric of your white slip turn a storm grey beneath his face, tears tumbling across the bridge of his nose before seeping into the night dress.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was so,” he sighed and you took your opportunity.
“Drunk.”
“Enraged.” He whined, eyelids coming to act as a poor dam, “And drunk.”
“And disrespectful.”
He groaned now, shoulders tightening in shame, “That too.”
You understood he was angry. Did he think you weren’t? You’d been humiliated. You’d been interrogated.
“I want to split his skull with an ax.” His fingers were playing with something beneath his closed thighs, hands pressed between them. “I’m sorry. I— you were not wrong.” You caught a glimpse of the bright yellow handkerchief being wrung between sweaty palms with nervous fingers when he finally opened his legs. “I didn’t know what to do with myself when your manager said you’d been arrested. I almost drove my car into the station doors.”
“So getting zozzled and shouting the personal details of a New Orleans detective into the night seemed… the better option? When I had already had a difficult evening?” You felt a flame in your chest again. “When I needed your support? Comfort?”
He nodded, slick and smooth face gliding over the silk. A sob, choked and broken as he buried his head again into your lap. “I’d never felt so helpless, I just…I responded very selfishly. I’m sorry.”
The heavy and hot indignation finally began to cool in you, and you let yourself run your fingers through his hair.
“Will you ever let me kill him?” He asked your thighs.
You thought for a moment. The safety in Alastor’s killings were the degrees of separation between him and his targets. The plausible deniability. The lack of obvious motive. If you could find that same safety net when killing Brady, then, sure. “When he’s no longer a threat to us. When no one will be shocked to hear he’s dead.”
His arms came to hold onto your legs, soft pads of his digits stroking the skin beneath your clothing.
“He went too far.” Alastor muttered, moving his head enough to look at you from the corner of his eyes.
“And he knows your name.” You added, the arrest being of equal importance if not less.
“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” Alastor inched his body closer to you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” His head turned, the soft and sharp features alike of his face burying into your lap. A gentle shake of his shoulders as he lost his fight to not weep openly into you broke your heart. He let out a weak and muffled series of sounds, followed by a louder and clearer, “Do you want to leave me?”
Wincing, you remembered how close you’d been to doing just that. It was good though that he asked. Indicating Alastor knew how serious you took the way he had acted the night before.
You pulled his head up by the back of his collar. With your first good look at him in the crisp orange morning light you could see his lips were red and raw from nervous chewing, his hair lacking its usual shine or form. The right side of his face was wet. Tears new and old began to reroute and slide down his high cheeks and pointed jaw. They met at the very bottom of his chin, for the first time in their short lives, and dropped onto you in little couplings. Falling like they were made to always do just that. Just now. Just for him. A fate you could understand so naturally it was bordering on unnerving. A love story you were sure you were playing out.
How rarely you’d seen a man cry. In the past perhaps you’d have been put off. Cringed. Considered it a pathetic show of weakness and lost respect for them. But all you could feel now was a pain so deep and all encompassing it felt as if your skin was cracking off. A dry river bed in the heat of summer. What had been there before? Disgust? Indifference? Even his tears were of a magnitude more important than anyone else’s. Every piece of him mattered more to you.
Leave him? Of course not. No matter what he did, dead or alive, monster or man, you would never hate him enough. And that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. No, that absolutely wasn’t a good thing. A dangerous something he could never fully be told.
Oh.
Ruth’s words on the roof crawled from their grave and tugged at your ankles.
You were in that worst kind of love; Unconditional.
Fireworks were out of the question but you could manage something for him. You had to tell him. Things were too far gone now and you couldn’t be sure how much time was left now that Brady had a name.
“Give me a little time. I’ll show you how stupid of a question that is over our first fight,” Your thumbs wiped away his tears. The handkerchief came back to view, so you gingerly took it and dabbed the sacred lacrima from his cheeks. You took his head between both hands and stared unflinching into the sweet, sun kissed brown of his eyes, “I never want to leave you. Even if I do, even if somehow I’m convinced to go, you’ll have to rip your heart out of my cold dead hands or I’ll take it with me.”
“What have I told you? Don’t mention those things. The spirits are listening.” He attempted a gentle smile through his tear stained cheeks and you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him. How could someone so good with a knife be so soft?
Another torrent of tears from him and a reply so earnest and so sure your body leaned back with surprise, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” He half whispered it into the ether.
Please, you begged whoever listened when you prayed, don’t weaken my self respect. Straightening your back to summon some form of resolve, you voiced it.
“If you ever speak to me like you did last night again, with that sharp tone and cruel words, sober or not…” you trailed off, begging him to not make you say it. Don’t force you to make threats you didn’t want to keep. Things you’d be ashamed of not following through with. Little self failures you were genetically predisposed of committing.
“You can take my heart with you.”
A wonderful reply.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
The Release (Alastor)
When Alastor didn’t see you at the side door or back street, he dared to walk around the block to the front of the theater. He was surprised, like many others, to find the doors locked.
A trickle of fear dropped down his spine. Worst case scenario didn’t quite exist as some ladder of concerns, he just felt tremendous fear you were dead. That was the only rung. Had someone been watching you, that he didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with watching Brady?
“Alastor?”
His eyes snapped from the marquee to the young man poking his head out of the doors.
He nodded, “Johnathon, right?” Alastor moved on autopilot, hand coming to shake your manager’s.
“Johnny. Come inside.”
Alastor didn’t move. Hand still in the air between them. Johnny registered the distinct lack of light in Alastor’s eyes. He took a deep breath in, Alastor looked like a photograph of a man before him. There but, just a facsimile of human.
“She’s okay. Come on.” He gestured firmly, Alastor blinking back to life and slipping in.
Ruth hopped from her seat at the sight of the tall paramour.
“The bastard arrested her! Prostitution.”
Alastor’s mouth opened and then closed. He swallowed, then smiled, and his head did a little tilt. Ruth looked from him to Johnny. Alastor’s rolodex of canned responses spun infinitely around in his mind. Nothing was catching. There wasn’t a facial expression or comment or body posture in existence he had prepared for this conversation. Because he hadn’t ever predicted such a situation.
“He did it in front of everyone. He made a real scene of it.” Johnny leaned against the bar and tapped a cigarette, “I told her I’d fill you in.”
Brady had arrested you. You’d been arrested.
“Prostitution?” Alastor finally spoke.
Ruth shook her head, “Yeah but absolute bullshit. She doesn’t have any want or need for extra money.”
Alastor nodded. It wasn’t his worry. His eyes quickly flitted around the air to the concern of the other two, searching his memory for any sense.
The man he punched? What was his name again? No. He didn’t know where you worked. He didn’t know your name.
But, perhaps— no. He blinked away his runaway errands list.
“Any idea of the bond? How much should I bring?” He patted his pockets, fingers fumbling when he fished out his wallet. “I could get more, but I’ll need to go—,”
He was in disarray, a tremble in his hands making him pause and stare at his own body with a loss of recognition.
“I’m not sure…” Johnny said it slowly, “Ruth could you grab her bag from the back for me.”
When she was out of ear shot Johnny set his hand on Alastor’s, who was still staring in confusion at his own limbs, and made him lower the wallet.
“Hey, I was there that night you cornered Tommy into the booth. I saw you two. The night he hit her. Tommy was a real piece of shit. And I’m glad he’s gone.”
Alastor’s eyes met Johnny’s and he wondered what he looked like to the other man. He felt the corner of his frozen smile twitch but he managed to keep from reacting otherwise. How many missteps had he taken?
For a moment, time stood still and he imagined dragging Johnny into the alley by his neck. Then Ruth. Who else needed to go? He’d carry them all away into the dark.
“I'm no rat! I didn’t tell anyone anything.” A beat as he tried to read the face Alastor was making. A small tight smile and wide eyes that made Johnny’s skin crawl. Was he angry? No, his brows weren’t scrunched up. Was he suspicious? Maybe. Whatever feeling a trapped fox feels when the hound is close. But Johnny didn’t register that. “Just, ya know, I’m glad someone told him off. He was shaking like a leaf after. Anyway,” a nervous clearing of his throat, “I don’t think you should go to the precinct. I’ll go, I’ll pay the bail with some cash from the safe. You two can pay it back.”
No response. Alastor’s thoughts a tangled ball of red wool yarn, every time he tried to pull out a coherent reply the knot seemed to tighten and stiffen. He leaned back a little, trying to fit more of Johnny into his view. Wanting all of the smaller man to be seen.
“I feel kinda responsible. I should have spoken up when I learned what he was doing.” Johnny offered a smile of his own, something about it made him look younger than he was. “Just tell me where you’ll be, I’ll send her that way when she’s released. Maybe in the morning.”
“Responsible for what?” Ruth smacked Alastor’s arm with your small black handbag.
“For her arrest. I should have done more.” Johnny thanked her for the bag. “Where should I say you’ll be?”
“I’ll wait in my car.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll go crazy like that, just find somewhere quiet and have a drink.” Ruth turned Alastor around and pushed him towards the doors.
“The Golden Dish. I’ll be there. Just,” Alastor stopped to pull a card from his wallet and hand it to Johnny, “Tell her to give the host this card and ask for me.”
“Well, go have a drink, try to just… try to stay calm.” Ruth’s words barely entered his mind as he stumbled out into the night. Thoughts came so quickly and in such a multitude that Alastor found his head entirely empty, unable to latch onto any single one.
He was unlocking his car door and then he looked up — he was across the street from the station. How he got from the theater to here was unknown to him. Clearly he had driven, but with what mind he had no idea.
Long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles an uncomfortable white with the force. How much would it take to snap the wheel? Had anyone ever tried before?
A deep breath, he didn’t remember holding it until his head began spinning. In the mess of thoughts, he saw flashes of what he could do. Questions to narrow down his options. Did the rooms have windows? Could he climb in one and drag Brady out?
But he didn’t know how many people there were. How many rooms. Where Brady was. Where you were.
Deep breath, he was holding it again and the thought of you being grilled by a cop made him involuntarily gasp for air.
There was no fear you’d say anything. It simply didn’t exist. Even trying to conjure the idea of you telling anyone who he was and what he did was ridiculous to him. A dark part of him knew that notion was born out of a blinding fear and not out of true trust. Because if you did such a thing, it’d mean he’d been wrong about everything. That he couldn’t trust his own decisions anymore. What would he do if you did confess?
Well, he was quite sure he’d die. Perhaps not literally. But Alastor as he was would wither and disappear. He’d be someone —- something entirely different.
But he didn’t stop to think about that. Because it wasn’t a possibility.
With a full body tremble, Alastor leaned back into the seat and ran his fingers through his hair. He felt torn down the center. Half of him was marching into the station and doing…. He wasn’t sure. The rest was just black.
Half of him was driving away to go hide in a glass of whisky until you were released.
What would you want him to do?
He started the car and headed toward the river’s edge, hoping to find a parking spot not too far from the illicit bar.
Alastor made a beeline for the bathrooms just past the entrance of the Grano D'oro. His hair was mussed, his pupils constricted. He drew his bottom lip in and began chewing it nervously, hands pushing his hair back into some form of style. A cough to clear out his tightening throat, he straightened his bow tie and suit jacket. Staring at his reflection, he flinched. An unsettling feeling in his bones that if he stared long enough, it would take on a life of its own.
Something wasn’t right. His nightmares were back and following him around in his waking hours. Terrors of losing his control over himself. Deep seated insecurities about his work.
Alastor approached the host and explained his card was on loan to someone who would be by later. Normally it didn’t work like that, no card meant no entry. But Alastor was a regular. The man nodded and led Alastor into the main dining hall.
Alastor offered passing pleasantries to a few people and smiled as he was escorted past them to the private dining section of Grano D'oro. Separated by another large but closed curtain, the host moved it aside and let Alastor enter. The hall had a few doors but two large doors swung out from the kitchen.
Through the kitchen, with a smile and another nod to the staff who all sang his name as he walked by, Alastor made it to the barely visible door to the side.
Finally, he descended the stairs to the very lively and very lovely bar of his dear friend, Mimzy.
She clapped her hands enthusiastically at the sight of him, taking him by the arm and dragging him to the counter.
“Little late for you isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be at home with your heart.” She dragged out the word, eyes rolling not at the idea of you but at the idea of someone being more important than a night out.
Alastor plopped onto the stool and came to rest both elbows on the bar, “Should be.”
“Fight?” She was already wiping down a glass for him, his head was in his hands which was… a new sight. Sloppily, with some splashing out and onto the bar top, she poured two fingers and slid it to him.
“Worse. Arrest.” His hands curled around the cup and he considered not drinking it at all. His mother warned him to never drink alone and never drink when upset. He fudged the first rule often. But he really did follow the second.
“Oh fuck.” Mimzy added two more fingers to the glass. “What for?”
He stared into the whisky before taking a large mouthful and forcing it down with a burning gulp, “Prostitution.” He croaked.
“That’s not illegal.”
Alastor’s stress was momentarily broken and he looked incredulously at who could be called his closest friend, “Yes, it is, Mimz.”
With a hand on her hip she looked up in thought, “Huh…. Well, ya learn something new every day!”
Alastor held the glass with both hands now, “You do know alcohol is illegal, right? Production and consumption?” He watched her face sour, hand moving to gesture at the windowless room they were in.
“Duh. Why else would I be in this makeshift box?” It was rhetorical, Alastor rolling his eyes and lowering his face to his glass.
Nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, biting red lines into the soft pink flesh. Mimzy stared, unnoticed. She couldn’t remember the last time he looked sad. He did sometimes open up when drunk, perhaps smiling through a pitiful story. Or dancing when she knew he was bruised in either his ego or his heart. But, normally, for Alastor, he kept the obvious and plain emotions kept tightly buttoned up.
“So, why are you here all long faced? Did you arrest her or something?”
Alastor’s fingers found their way into his hair again, “I might as well have. It’s my fault.”
It was, without a doubt in his mind, his fault. He pulled you in. He killed your boss without any care for what you thought. He made you a shield and a target, stupid. Alastor couldn’t argue against it.
You’d been forced to lie for him. To sneak and hide from police for him. He was no better than the spineless men he often chased. How could he be so selfish? It stung his chest and his eyes, the thought of you so sweetly sitting beside him just to be dragged into a police station. It was his fault.
Mimzy hummed, pretending to wipe down the counter, “Then fix it. If you fucking did it, then make it better.”
Yes, obviously, but, “I don’t know how. I-,” Another forced mouthful of whisky, “I roughed up her former guy. For mistreating her. He’s been going around causing trouble now, lying about her. He doesn’t know it was me.” A lie that roughly summed up the trouble. Enough that he could vent, perhaps get third party insight. Though, admittedly, Mimzy wasn’t his first person to turn to for advice.
“And you can’t just,” she made a fist with her thumb stuck out and dragged it across her neck in a cutting motion, “get rid of the issue?”
Killing Brady would solve everything. And it’d feel good. It’d feel….ah, he leaned back, letting his chest open and fill with the shadow of satisfaction, it’d be the best kill yet. How would he do it, he wondered. It’d have to be special. Slow. Perhaps even over the course of days. Oh, or better yet, perhaps he could show Brady exactly how he disposed of his targets. Piece by piece, taking from him and letting him watch as he buried his parts in deep holes. Giving him all the answers to his questions before snuffing out his nagging life.
Lost in thought, he didn’t see Mimzy walk away and come back with a different bottle. The big guns, she thought.
“That a no? Weeell,” She poured herself a glass, “Maybe go talk to the guy. Put the fear of God in ‘em! Let him know if he tries anymore shit,” she waved her finger around, “he’s gonna eat dirt.”
A threat….scare him?
No one would believe Brady, he considered. If someone pulled him back into the shadows of his tree lined street with a blade to his throat and gave him the warning of what was to come if he kept this up….Did he have any allies in this at work?
“But you can’t do nothing. She’s your gal, right? Arresting her is like….it’s like throwing a drink in your face. He’s embarrassing you.”
A lump rose in this throat, the two large gulps of drink metabolizing and carrying away his ability to remember not to take advice from Mimzy.
In fact, as he took a slower sip of his somehow still full glass, he thought she was quite right. Brady was testing his pride. Hurting the closest person he had to get at him. This was villain activity.
If he didn’t reply, he’d be saying he didn’t care at all about you. He’d be the man Brady told you he was. A coward using you until you weren’t convenient anymore. Alastor’s leg began to bounce against the stool’s foothold. Yes, yeah, he had to act. Someone was challenging him. Someone was swinging you around in front of him, taunting how weak he was that he couldn’t even protect you.
Either Brady thought Alastor was all bark and no bite, only attacking men alone at night, or, worse, he thought Alastor was using you.
Alastor stood quickly, but paused as his head sloshed to the left and he leaned with it. Steadying himself on the bar he looked down at Mimzy.
“Ah, he’s at work.” He stated it plainly, as if Mimzy already knew this.
“Oh, then just enjoy some drinks and jazz while you wait! When is he off?”
“I don’t know…but, she’ll come get me when she’s released. So….after that?” Alastor was already losing sight of the lie he had told her earlier. He didn’t notice her top up his glass for a third time.
“Perfect! Now, gossip. You gotta fill me in with the trashy news. You haven’t come by in so long.” She leaned across the bar, swirling her glass clumsily, big eyes blinking.
“Don’t try to distract me. I’m in no mood for such trivial things, Mimz. My love was arrested. At work no less. I’m useless.”
The very notion of thinking about anything but you made his stomach turn.
As the time ticked on though, that turning was quickly becoming more of a reaction to the liquor and less to do with his stress.
The only person who knew how much he’d downed was Mimzy, who kept track on his tab with an out-of-character diligence. When the host knocked on the door, she opened it to receive Alastor’s card and knew you must have come for him.
Getting him up the stairs was difficult, but he was too drunk to let him go through the restaurant. The fine people upstairs had no idea liquor was being served in their fancy dining hall. So Mimzy let Alastor lean on her as she pushed them through the back doors and to the storage room. Opening the trash shoot, she pushed the man out and let him trip through the small opening.
“This way, big guy,” She tugged him by the lapel through the alley and toward the street.
She saw you standing there, looking into the restaurant expectedly, and told him to stay put. Mimzy slipped his card into his suit pocket and bee lined to you. You looked different than she’d expected. She wasn’t really sure what she was expecting…actually, on second thought, she had just imagined a female Alastor. Alastor with a perm and an empire waist dress. A little out of fashion but classy.
She smacked your arm with the back of her hand and left you to him.
Alastor stumbled onto the sidewalk, the lights blinding compared to the dark and smokey illicit club down he’d just fallen out of. He’d never used the back door, and he decided, somewhere in the mess of his thoughts, he didn’t particularly care for it.
“Hey! Alastor!”
His head swung around at the sound of your voice, it was you. You were free. Shrugging off his panic like a heavy fur coat he rushed to you, taking your face in his big hands to kiss you. Grateful. He was so grateful you were back. He couldn’t let Brady take you again. How could he show you how seriously he felt?
What did people like? Kisses. People liked kisses. And passion. And touch.
He’d translate his determination into lavishing you. When you made a yelp and pushed him away, he was confused. Why weren’t you happy to see him?
Icy cold fear dripped and trickled down his ribs that Brady had said something to make you believe you were just collateral. You pulled him by the wrist, not looking at him, and he felt sure he had made a mistake in not going to the station.
In the mud that was his thinking, he was sure this was the issue. What an idiot. He never let others tell him how to act or live, and yet he let some manager keep him from seeing you? He let a pissant like Brady take you and whisper poison into your ear.
He had to fix it. He had to make it better.
“Where’s your car?”
Ah, his car! Yes! Alastor had the power to make this all better immediately. Why didn’t he do this an hour ago? He couldn’t remember…. Alastor took his arm back, pointing you toward the park, “At that little park. Audubon.” It was a lovely little park, he thought.
Your breath against his body when you and him first entertained affection came to his mind so intensely he thought maybe he had been pulled back in time. He paused, remembering the last park you both sat in, covered in blood and trembling.
He needed to make it up to you.
“Anyway, I’m gonna kill him. Maybe right now! Did I tell ya? I know where he lives.” The stalking and studying was part of the fun, it made the meal tastier. And he had been sure to study Brady. When his work ended and you were busy still, he learned everything he could about the nosy cop.
Unfortunately, most of what he learned was that Brady rarely went home at a normal time and he was relentless in his pursuit of information about you both. Many nights he shadowed the detective and heard Brady pestering and questioning locals about missing people and illegal going-ons at your theater. It wasn’t because he wanted to clean up the streets, that was obvious. Those nightly walks were a pig sniffing around in the mud for a kernel. All he needed was a good enough accusation to rush in and shut shit down.
“Alastor.” Your voice saying his name pulled him back to the present, he paused for a beat to figure out where he was, he had thought you’d both been in front of the restaurant just a second ago.
“You’re drunk. No.”
You slipped in front of him, making him nearly collide into you. No? Yes! What did drunkenness have to do with anything? Perhaps you didn’t understand. He did the work! He knew exactly what to do and where to go. Ah, of course. You didn’t know. How could you? He never told you what he did while waiting for you to finish up at work.
“Alastor, yes. He’s got two kids, a wife. He stays out late, obsessin’ over us no doubt.” Raising his head, he felt a swell of pride. Don’t worry, dear. I’ve not made mistakes this time.
You hissed his name as he moved past you, if he was quick he could catch the bastard before he got into his house. His road was lined with trees, shady and quiet. It’d be so easy. Fuck, it was even better suited for his hobbies than alleys and parks. How odd.
“Hey. You can’t-,”
The word set something off in him. Can’t? Why do people keep telling him what to do or not to do?! Why were people always fucking giving him limitations?
Brady had done this. You’d never– He was just trying to clean up his mess. Why did people think they could dictate his life so freely? Why did what he wanted to do not matter, even though he was just trying to be a good man?
“Who are you to stop me? To tell me,” He whipped around, losing his balance as he tried to recorrect. Alastor paused to stare down at his legs. Et tu, crura? Even his own body was betraying him. Saying his desires were moot points. Fine, fuck it. He barely needed legs to drive anyway. If he could just do things the way he always did, you’d see how capable he was. Brady would see how fucking stupid he was. Tommy could rot in hell harder if that was an option.
Ah, it was quiet. How long had he been in his head? Had you said something and he didn’t hear? Oh you had stopped walking. “Are ya really not comin’?”
You had told him to not go alone, to always have you nearby when he killed. You not coming made no sense at all.
“Who am I, Alastor?” Your voice was high pitched, he could hear your throat constricting. The reason wasn’t known to him though. People often did that before he killed him.
What an odd question. Had you used your stage name so long you’d forgotten your true one. He laughed, what a silly thing to ask! “Now who is drunk?”
When your arms crossed and you glared back at him, his head cocked to the side. He wondered if you were playing around. You often pretended to be cross with him to make him pull you close and make you smile.
“I thought you’d stop if I asked. I thought I was your equal in this.”
Not a joke. Well yes, of course you were. But this wasn’t that.
“Well!” Alastor searched the sidewalk for the words, “This is different! He isn’t like the others. Mister Detective Kenneth Brady is-.” He was getting mad. Not at you, persay, but at the entire mess before him.
“Shhh!” You seethed, “Give me your key. You can’t drive like this.”
What?
Oh, so now he can’t drive? Your trust in him had been so eroded with just one private meeting with Brady. And did you shush him?
Alastor, don’t go to the station.
Alastor, don’t clean up the mess you made for me.
Alastor, don’t drive.
He didn’t want to fight with you. To argue or assert dominance, but…he stood up straighter to simulate sobriety. It failed, his hand jutting out to brace against the wall for stability. A failure that added to a growing pile of failures.
He caught himself and stared back at you. No. It was his car. Alastor was putting his drunken, clumsy foot down.
“If you want me to come with you, I am driving. Make your decision now.”
When your hand came out for the keys he looked down to it and then back to you. What was that? What were you doing?
You closed it, “I won’t let a man waste my time when I’m just trying to help him. You’ve got me confused with someone else.”
Your turning and walking back forward the restaurant made his eyes roll. Oh, the keys still. He pulled them from his pocket, fine, have them. I give up. Failure pile growin’ every minute.
He tossed them into the space between you both, smiling to himself. You wanted the keys, he thought, there you go.
But when you turned around, he could feel the rage rolling off of your body. Alastor couldn’t pinpoint what it was about your face that was different than usual, but just beneath your skin he could see a you he’d never met before. One he didn’t care to meet.
Fuck.
He’d fucked up.
A flash of embarrassment sizzled in his stomach before he lurched forward and grabbed the keys, offering them to you properly.
He followed behind, too stubborn to show you the way but unwilling to be without you.
Leaning into the window, he stared at the city as it rolled by, until it turned to water and then to woods. The air was stiff and suffocating. He hated it. Why were you so mad at him?
Alastor couldn’t understand what had happened. He was so happy to see you but immediately you pushed him away and dragged him off like a child being taken to the headmaster. What had happened at the station, he wondered. There was no way to ask now. The mood was too heavy, and he was too insolent to be the first one to speak. You were mad at him. You didn’t trust him. You, probably, we’re fed up with the complications of his company.
The pain behind his sternum was akin to a splintering rod; stiff, solid, and biting every time he moved. No one had ever made him feel this way before. He couldn’t put his finger on the feeling though, it was sadness, and it hurt, but there was something deeper. Something underneath these shallow reactions that dredged up a vague sense of mourning.
Regret?
He slammed the car door behind him and fell into the sofa as soon as he could. Nothing went right. The day had started so wonderfully… you’d felt like a part of himself he’d finally found. And now….
“You’re mad at me.” He heard the keys hit the bowl. Thank you, he thought.
Yes. No. Not at you. Not with you. Just, mad. Mad at Brady. Mad at Tommy. Mad at liquor as a general concept. And, the most upsetting, mad at himself. Had he ever been mad at himself before?
“No.” He sucked in a breath, “I’m mad. Full stop.” He hugged a pillow, he just wanted to be left alone now to wallow in the expanse of these new and awful sensations bleeding into his guts.
He thought it and immediately winced. Not alone alone. Please, if anyone had been listening, please disregard it. That wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t mean that at all.
“You’re acting like a child. Go to your bed. I’ll sleep here.” Your voice was stern, talking down to him.
“You’re talkin’ to me like a child.” He felt small and stupid. Closing his eyes, he sighed and tried to settle mind. Everything was swimming. Literally. His thoughts and the room were liquid and floating up into the atmosphere. Alastor was confident he would follow them up.
“You really don’t see the connection between those two things?? Atleast— go to the guest bed.”
Connection? Yes! You were treating him like a naive child, talking to him like a confused child, pulling him like a disobedient child, holding out your hand to him like he was a selfish child.
“No.” If he opened his eyes he was 90% sure he’d vomit. If he could just bear through the spinning he’d be okay.
“Suit yourself. I don’t have patience for this, Alastor. You’re acting like a brat when I’m the one who had the hard night.”
He turned his head into the pillow to conceal the frown.
Patience… there it was. You’d lost patience with him. And you’d been so patient for months now. Waiting in bars and cars while he killed. Waiting for him while he threw body parts into holes and snapping jaws. Waiting for weeks beside him for inspiration to strike and for him to seek your intimacy in more serious touch.
He heard you make it three steps before returning, “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. We’ll talk in the morning.”
Alastor’s eyes welled with tears that soaked into the soft yellow pillow. He held his breath until he heard the floor creaking upstairs to let his body shiver with the sob. He’d had you all morning. And he’d kissed you goodbye at work… and then he came to get you. But you were gone.
He was scared, and angry.
And he got angrier and angrier and now— he couldn’t piece anything together.
Rolling onto his back he held the pillow to his chest.
Eyes fixed on the ceiling he listened to you prepare for bed. The water ran. The bed groaned. As the liquor took him away the floors creaked again and he hoped maybe you’d come join him on the sofa. Even in silence. Even angry. Just be there so he knew you weren’t done with him entirely.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
When Alastor woke he was alone, the sound of the back door shutting startling him into consciousness. The only evidence he had slept and not just shut his eyes for a couple minutes was the light through the curtains.
For the briefest, sweetest second he felt excited to see you. It was eclipsed near immediately with the nauseating reality that you’d had a fight the night before and you’d told him…. It was hazy. Clenching his eyes shut he searched through the drunken darkness of the night before.
He had to work backwards. You said you’d lost patience. He was treating you poorly. You’d driven him home. He’d thrown his keys at you.
Alastor groaned, feet kicking the end to the sofa in anger. He had tried to make you pick up the keys off the ground, when all you had done was try to take care of him.
He remembered you tugging him along the sidewalk, before that… you kissed. No, he kissed. He could distinctly remember trying to lick his way into your mouth. On the sidewalk. In front of a very nice restaurant. The yellow pillow was pulled to his face to muffle his scream.
Drinking was the first mistake, continuing to drink was the second. And now you were upset with him.
He was to blame. It was so obvious now. Not just for the arrest and the negative attention but for the entire evening going tits up.
Throat tightening, a tingle began in his fingertips and worked its way up his wrists.
Stupid.
Selfish.
Useless.
Throwing the pillow into the chair opposite the sofa he tossed his legs over and sat up. He couldn’t breath, chest heavy. As his lips began to feel like they were stung with tiny needles, he spread his knees and lowered his head between them.
Not now, he yelled at himself, you’re making this about yourself again. Just like last night.
He’d wanted to fix the problems he’d made so badly but stupidly he’d just burdened you further.
There was no future in that moment. All the little daydreams of you and him were suspended and in jeopardy. Until he spoke to you, had the talk you told him was required, he had nothing.
For all he knew, you’d made up your mind already. How odd. He himself was the cat in the box. He could already be dead and not even know it.
Alastor couldn’t stand another second of not knowing his fate. Lost in the panic he hadn’t considered at all what Brady had said to you. Taking the steps two by two he found the bed empty. Before turning, vaguely remembering hearing the screen door earlier, something caught his eye and made the world spin again with renewed terror.
The handle of your bag peeking out from under the dresser. It had been in the closet, he had emptied it and put it there for you so he knew that to be a fact.
He closed his eyes, bile rising in his throat. Was it full of your things? Were you just waiting to tell him to take you home?
He couldn’t find the courage to check. Rushing past it like it could come to life and grab him by the ankles, he went to the nightstand beside his side of the bed and opened the drawer, the bright yellow of your handkerchief calming him just a sliver. If he kept it, you’d have to come back. He could call you and remind you to come back for it. And then he could convince you to stay. His mother always said he was good with words. If you forgot it at his house when you left he’d have a way to bring you home again. Fresh tears welled, the backs of his hands smearing them into his hairline.
The handkerchief smelled faintly of you still. His bottom lip was sucked between his teeth and the skin picked and pulled. Still carrying the piece of fabric, he leaned over the stairs railing to see you as you sat on the back porch.
Sitting on the second to last step of the house, he took a moment to collect himself. Being so frazzled, so undone, wasn’t like him. That foreignness just added to the panic. Bringing a hand to his chest, he opened his shirt to run his fingers down his sternum and to the left. A beating heart, evidence he was the survivor in every encounter he’d been in. But now, half a house between your and his back, why did he feel the most in danger? Rarely did fight or flight kick in, the last time he felt it was rolling around with that man who’d tried to choke the life out of you.
No strange man here now. Just strange feelings.
The pounding under his fingerprints became sonorous. It was becoming harder to ignore the obvious.
Deep breaths, he had to prepare his responses. The only way to begin was with an apology, but after that he wasn’t sure where things would go. So he had to make a plan.
Alastor hoped you’d forgive him, and accept the apology. At which point he would love to imagine himself doing something respectful like kissing your cheeks and thanking you for your mercy.
If you didn’t accept it….Alastor had never begged a day in his life, but he could see himself begging you to stay. Perhaps hugging your ankles and promising things he didn’t have. There was no longer an impossibility in what he would do, which was alarming. The idea of him being so pathetic and pitiful was nauseating, however there was no one and nothing that could stop that if you got up and left.
There was no way to run his lines for this. Like many other interactions with you he couldn’t bring the usual tools with him to battle. Either with your wit or point of view, or perhaps today your wrath, you always disarmed him.
But that was what made you worth the risk. It began as entertainment, but soon enough the dome of your stage extended out and around him, sheltering Alastor in the warm light of your presence. And now as he looked around the railing of his stairs, he was scared to see the exit lights flicker on.
Walking out the backdoor, he wondered if he would be allowed back in or if the door would lock behind him.
He knew the exact moment he fucked up, and knew he had to begin there. Barefoot, still in yesterday’s clothes while you were in your night dress, he let himself drop to the space beside you before tentatively bringing his head down to your lap. He avoided eye contact, not yet ready to confront his adjudicator.
The pain in your words from last night were just now beginning to sting his eyes.
‘Who am I?’
“You are my darling,” It wasn’t until he said it that he realized he hadn’t opened his mouth and spoken yet, his voice was harsh and throat dry. Who were you? It would be easier to list who you weren’t to him now. “That’s who you are.”
No unit of time existed small enough to measure the pause between what he said and your reply, but it felt like a gorge separating his breaths.
“You sure didn’t make me feel like your anything last tonight.” He couldn’t remember ever hearing you take such a tone; cutting and cold. Was there no longer warmth in your heart for him? He had been so drunkenly blinded by his own feelings he hadn’t stopped to think about how you were viewing his little tantrum. Maybe he hadn’t ever really had anyone around whose opinion mattered very much.
And he���d made you feel like nothing to him. The mountain of derelictions crumbled under the weight of perhaps his biggest failure of the evening, an avalanche of embarrassment and shame washed over him and he didn’t try to impede his tears. Men were only supposed to cry on their wedding day and at funerals, but he supposed this day could still go either way. Could still be as pivotal to his happiness.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was so,” what word could sum it up?
“Drunk.”
“Enraged.” a high whine caught in his throat, clenching his eyes now as the embarrassment took over stronger than he had thought possible. He felt stupid now saying he was just angry, “And drunk.”
He couldn’t entirely blame the alcohol, but he wouldn’t disagree with you now.
“And disrespectful.”
Alastor folded in on himself, shoulders drawing in to try and curl up small enough that he ceased to exist in any meaningful way. Disrespectful. He had, he’d disrespected you in public and in private. The stunt with the keys came back and he thought he may just die from the mortification of what he’d done.
“That too.” His hands nervously wrung the handkerchief beneath his closed thighs. What a terrible morning juxtaposed with the prior day’s bliss. A sigh, soft and weak. He remembered who was the catalyst for his buffoonery. “I want to split his skull with an ax.”
Argh, it wasn’t about him. “I’m sorry. I— you were not wrong. I didn’t know what to do with myself when your manager said you’d been arrested. I almost drove my car into the station doors.” He was beginning to wish he had.
“So getting zozzled and shouting the personal details of a New Orleans detective into the night seemed… the better option? When I had already had a difficult night?” He flinched at the rising anger in your voice, the rhetoricals were scolding and biting his pride like a nun’s ruler to his knuckles. “When I needed your support? Comfort?”
Perhaps the death blow. All he could do was nod and accept his mistakes. But, it hurt. Not to admit them, but to confront them. Another tidal wave of emotion hit and he had to bury his face back into the cool silk of your nightwear. He couldn’t understand how he had fucked it up so badly.
No, he had to find words. “I’d never felt so helpless, I just…I responded very selfishly. I’m sorry.” Two words did nothing, they tumbled from his mouth like feathers. Weightless. When the heavy guilt in his chest was threatening to drag him to hell with one misstep, ‘I’m sorry’ was just crystals of salt dropped in the gulf. Actions were all he had left and he wasn’t sure yet you’d give him the time to show you.
When your fingers grazed his scalp and combed his hair from his ears he shook with relief. A tender touch that promised you didn’t hate him, and his cortisol levels immediately plummeted. He felt safe again, enough to ask what was pestering him still.
“Will you ever let me kill him?” his lips ghosted over the mercy of your thighs.
As you thought, his fingers ran along the edges of your handkerchief. Feeling the stitched edges with precision as a distraction from the stress of waiting.
“When he’s no longer a threat to us. When no one will be shocked to hear he’s dead.”
No longer a threat… what did that mean? When Brady moved on from you both, or was simply made incapable of doing you harm. He could expedite that, somehow. He was sure of it.
His arms wrapped around your legs and caressed your thighs through the silk, “He went too far. Turning his head up, he got you into his peripheral.
“And he knows your name.”
Oh. That … was expediting, wasn’t it? It was bound to happen.
“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” He pulled himself closer again. Brady was nothing compared to the threat of losing you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” What a joke he was. How high and mighty and curated he tried to be that he forgot the point of it. A shield he turned to you was just a barrier between what he desperately wanted by his side. His tears returned with renewed vigor, the complete breakdown of his manicured image was a tell tale heart he couldn’t smile away anymore, the greatest weakness he was never so happy to call his own. Muffled by your clothing and inviting lap, “I just love you so much…” he choked and then sucked in a deep breath to try and get control of himself, shifting his face to the side again to watch your face for an immediate reaction to his question, “Do you want to leave me?”
He didn’t want the answer. He knew better than to ask. But – if you did, he didn’t want to keep you there. He couldn’t let the moment pass without finding out if you were just putting up with him. If you felt trapped, like Brady promised you that you would. When you told him those things, the silly things the detective had said before, you always laughed. You said it was so ridiculous. But, now, there was nothing funny about the idea. He couldn’t promise himself he wouldn’t keep that little yellow fabric in his hands even after you parted, but he could swear to not try and guilt you back into his arms.
When you lifted him off of your body by the collar he couldn’t understand the emotion behind it. You were inspecting his face so carefully, but there was no sign of disgust or anger or even adoration to signal how he should feel. The teardrops tickled his cheeks and chin and fell unimpeded to your legs.
Your eyes kept moving over his features, until a small tug of your lips to the side crept into a smile. Soft and obviously natural.
“Give me a little time. I’ll show you how stupid of a question that is over our first fight,” The pads of your thumbs were soft as they slid down his cheeks and gathered the moisture there. When he pulled the handkerchief to his lap, you took it and used it to further dry his face. He exhaled a broken breath when you took his face in your hands and stared into his eyes. “I never want to leave you.” His body again trembled with relief, blinking away the nth torrent of tears, “Even if I do, even if somehow I’m convinced to go, you’ll have to rip your heart out of my cold dead hands or I’ll take it with me.”
Stop. Don’t say that. “What have I told you? Don’t mention those things.” Death. Leaving. Goodbyes. “The spirits are listening.” They were always listening, watching, hoping to grab a hold of anything you said without precision and deliver you the reality you mused. He didn’t want to lecture, but he couldn’t let it go. Shh, don’t say such things. He could feel the dried tears crack as his eyes crinkled with his smile, a smile that he nearly failed to switch up to return the kiss when you pressed your lips into his. A first fight? He’d never had one of those. Typically he never got that far. Things fell apart the second someone was unhappy or unsatisfied.
Take his heart back? His mind finally processed the words. It was yours. The morning had proved to him he couldn’t claw it back if he truly wanted, and if he was further honest with himself, he didn’t want it. It was better off with you. He felt the air cooling the once body-warm tears, he whispered what he felt was too vulnerable to say at full volume, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” His eyes looked down at your feet pointed in towards his own. Was this pathetic display not making it glaringly evident he was a man turned inside out? Guts in his hands and heart in yours?
You sniffled and sat up straight, bringing his attention back to you.
“If you ever speak to me like you did last night again, with that sharp tone and cruel words, sober or not…” Your words got slower until you stopped, an almost wild look in your eyes he could read as pleading. He shook his own head subtly, unconsciously swearing he wouldn’t.
If he ever forgot himself and you again, like he had let his rage and weakness do the night before, he didn’t deserve your forgiveness or grace anymore. A woman too good for him.
Because he couldn’t ever get it back now, “You can take my heart with you.”
A sickening fact.
His body was a tool, and he’d use every tool he had available to make you understand what you meant to him. Would you feel different now, now that he knew you loved him? Would he find your body warmer, more inviting… Could he make you scream your love for him?
Later, he would have to bookmark that idea. The confession was too fragile still, a crystal figurine to precious to even take out of the box.
⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:・
˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖
@eris-norwega @reath-solia @catticora , @angelicribbons , @xalygatorx
@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98
, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog ,
@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies
@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @fizzled-phoenix , @star-kujo-platinum
, @a-case-of-attachment, @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl @smoky000
@hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain
@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima ,
@ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby
@dontfuckbutimfab @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12
#i’m just even more excited for the ‘real’ confession now#the impact… it’s just gonna be so cathartic for them#THEY NEED TO KNOW THEY’RE EQUALLY DOWN BAD#alastor x reader#x reader#human alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fan fiction#article by mink
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Some cumplane stuff? Maybe that they knew eachother before transmigrating?
“Bruh.”
Shen Yuan primly nudged his glasses back up his nose with a knuckle. “What?”
“BRUH,” the author repeated, gesturing to the giant stuffed plush he held in his arms. “You did not just drop that much cash on that thing.”
“I am supporting small business and invigorating the local convention community,” Shen Yuan defended, holding his new prize to his chest whilst his various other bags and purchases hung from his elbows. “It’s important to show trackable numbers if we want the convention and its vendors to invest for next year.”
“Bish, invest in MY business!”
“I already do that,” Shen Yuan reminded him. He rolled his eyes as he started back down the artist alley. “At this point the only thing I could do to support you more is to outright pay your rent or buy your groceries.”
“If you’re offering~”
“Learn how to write more than four hundred words without mentioning someone’s tits or ass and we’ll talk.”
“BRUHHHHH.”
“Shut the fuck up, Airplane. Come on, I wanna get one of those custom ring doll figures we saw earlier.”
“Gonna craft my son, aren’t you?”
“I said shut up!”
The author cackled, even as he was accosted by the flailing form of the oversized plush.
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Love & Lullabies | Teaser
Pairing: Min Yoongi x female Reader
Summary: What begins as a simple favor for your best friend Namjoon soon pulls you into the rhythms of Yoongi’s life—afternoons spent caring for his son, late nights filled with candid conversations, and a connection neither of you thought you needed. You’re fresh out of a long-term relationship with an ex who didn’t want a family with you, so did you really just stumble into a life you’ve always dreamed of? (Thank god Namjoon isn’t the only one who’s clumsy.)
Alternatively: It’s 2025 and BTS is prepping for their comeback. All members seem to have gained muscle weight from their time at camp. But Min Yoongi has gained a different kind of weight—an 8-pound baby and a fuck-load of responsibility.
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (tbd), idol!au, Acquaintances to Lovers, Reader is Namjoon’s bestie
Warnings: Yoongi is a DILF (!!!), Mild cursing
Word count: 800-ish for this teaser
Posting date: November 7, 2024
Notes: This is for my friends and moots in the US. Please stay strong. One day at a time, my loves. Future’s gonna be okay 💕 This story is inspired by @yoongznme 's ask/prompt. Thank you for requesting!
Taglist is OPEN. Leave a comment here to be notified when the story drops.
Namjoon leans back in his seat, sporting an all-too-familiar, slightly conspiratorial glint in his eyes. Hmm. You know that look.
It's the same one he had when he "casually" set you up to tutor one of his trainee friends in English—the one you let slip was kinda cute. Or when he signed you up to perform with one of his rapper friends in that underground club in Hongdae. Sure, you knew every word of the chorus to eminem’s Stan, but you were not a fucking singer.
You still did it, though. Both times.
Namjoon’s especially notorious for volunteering you to do things he insists are "right up your alley." There’s a fire in his eyes when he starts talking about one of his ideas, and before you know it, you're swept up in his vision, already picturing yourself right there beside him, doing something you’d never consider on your own.
Namjoon has been your best friend since forever and for reasons you can’t explain, saying no to him has always been impossible.
Right. It’s definitely that. It’s definitely not because in those two prior instances mentioned, both friends of his are actually the same guy. The one you had an almost crippling crush on over a decade ago. (You’re sooo over it, though. Trust.)
When Namjoon finally leaned in, you were already bracing yourself.
“So, you know Yoongi, right?”
You blink, pause, and slowly shake your head. It has taken years, but today is the day you tell him, “No.”
“The fuck? What do you mean no?” He replies, already looking hella amused. “I haven’t even said anything.”
Your face feels like a furnace, but you grit and steady your voice. “Whatever it is, the answer is no.”
He lets out a hum, shifting in his seat, and you get the sense he’s working up to something.
You sip your coffee, keeping your eyes on him. He gives you an exaggerated shrug, dimples deepening as he lets his shoulder sag.
God you’re literally already about to break.
“Fuck. Joon. Spit it out.”
He nods triumphantly, “Ok, there’s something I thought I’d run by you first, before he hears about it.”
The words hang in the air, and you raise an eyebrow. “What are you getting me into?”
Namjoon chuckles softly as he folds his hands on the table. “So… Yoongi has a son. A baby, actually.” He pauses, watching for your reaction.
What? Someone has fuckboi Min Yoongi all locked down?! Huh. You never saw that coming.
You let that sink in, surprise filling the quiet space between you. “I… didn’t know he had a kid.”
“Not many people do,” Namjoon admits. “Only those close to him know. Yoongi’s an incredible dad, but his caretaker recently left, and now he’s scrambling to balance his schedule and take care of his son.”
“And his wife?”
Namjoon sighs, gives you a look that means he’s about to say something confidential. “There’s no wife.”
“Baby mama?”
“Out of the picture.”
You let out a small breath, absorbing everything you just heard. You already had an idea of where this is leading up to, but you want it said explicitly. “So what exactly are you telling me here?”
Namjoon nods, eyes hopeful. “Look, I know this is a big ask. I’m putting this out there because you’re one of the best with kids I know. And Yoongi—well, he’s pretty wary about letting new people get close to his son.”
You take another sip of your latte as he prattles on.
“While you’re still getting your bearings back, maybe you could take over the caretaker job, even part time?”
Namjoon scratches the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly as he says your name. “I just thought you might consider it. You’d be doing us both a favor. Yoongi really needs help, and I’d trust you more than anyone with this.”
You sit back, letting Namjoon’s words settle. He knows exactly what he’s asking—knows exactly how hard it is for you to refuse when he gives you that puppy dog look, and then he’s throwing Yoongi into the mix. Honestly, you hate how you're apparently still soft for him even after all these years.
Namjoon also knows your current situation. Does he not realize it’s a bit unfair to ask this of you right now? Not when you're still picking up the pieces after your breakup with your long-term boyfriend. Not when you need time to heal. Not when you literally uprooted your life and just moved back to Seoul a month ago.
But somehow, you can’t shake the curiosity. What would it even be like to see Yoongi as a dad? To get a glimpse of this whole other life he’s got now?
It’s probably a terrible idea.
Yeah, no. You don’t need this right now. Money isn’t tight. And you need to focus on…
You take a slow breath, mentally tracing the edges of this mess. There are a hundred reasons to say no, and only one reason you’d even consider saying yes. And because it’s for Yoongi… damn, maybe just one reason's enough.
Notes: So, what do we think? I'm genuinely excited to share my new baby with you guys! Let's go, let's go!
Taglist is OPEN. Leave a comment if you want to be notified when the story drops.
#myg x reader#myg x y/n#myg fic recs#yoongi x y/n#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi x y/n#myg fic#myg smut#yoongi fluff#yoongi x you#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#yoongi imagines#yoongi smut#suga x reader#suga scenario#suga x you#suga x y/n#suga x oc#bts suga smut#bts fanfiction#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fanfic#fictalk: L&L
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Theft in the Family...By Jason Todd Chapter 3
This chapter is a bit shorter, Exams are stressing me out xD
I have Chapter 4 done, it'll be posted once I finish chapter 5
The last week had calmed down some for Jason. He was slowly gaining control of the other gangs in Crime Alley, so now his job is mainly enforcing his rules and continuing his climb up the metaphorical food chain.
Currently he was on a rooftop overlooking the usual corner the working girls frequent.
He feels his half cape/cloak thing (Jason still doesn’t know what to call it, ok) waving gently in the breeze. It felt nice to have a moment of downtime, even if it was in the middle of the day.
Just as he was getting used to the (very rare) almost peaceful atmosphere, a child’s yelling cuts through the air.
Jason rushes off in the general direction of the sound.
He arrives just in time to see a large man slamming a kid against the wall, one hand wrapped around the kid’s throat.
Jason growls, jumping into the alley. He rips the man away, pushing himself in between the kid and his aggressor. “Leave. Him. Alone.” He draws one of the swords on his back, leveling it at the man’s chest.
Instead of scrambling back, the man stares at the sword and chuckles, pushing it away and drawing a gun. “The kid’s comin’ with me.”
“Yeah, nope. Not happenin’, jackass.” Jason draws his own gun with his other hand, this time aimed at the guy’s head. “Don’t think I only brought a sword to a gunfight. Besides, I guarantee you, I’m faster.”
Jason spares a glance behind him, and his heart nearly stops as the kid sits against the alley wall with a dazed look.
Fuck
That’s Damian.
Alright, fuck mercy. This guy is dead.
He uses the flat edge of the sword to knock the man’s gun hand wide, closing the distance between them. He uses his body to pin the man to the wall, and sheathes both weapons.
With his hands free, he wraps one around the guy’s throat (we’re gonna call him Chad now), and the other wrenches the gun from Chad’s grasp. “See? I’m faster.” Jason almost chuckles, before his tone turns dark again. “Do you know who I am?”
Chad barely manages to nod, and gasps: “Phoenix.”
“Good. Do you know what my main rule is?” Jason doesn’t even give him a chance to answer this time. “Do /not/, under /any/ circumstance, mess with kids.”
The man looks truly scared for the first time in this interaction. “I—I’m sorry! I didn’t know he was yours! He’s a Bristol kid, look at ‘em!”
“/All/ kids are under my protection. But you won’t get to make the same mistake twice.” Jason draws his gun again, aiming not at his head, but his groin. A cruel smile splits his face, not like the man can see that though.
The man whimpers, and Jason glances back at Damian again. The kid is still dazed, but he was standing and watching the scene play out.
“Get outta here, kid, I’ll catch up and make sure ya get home safe in a sec.”
Damian seemed to struggle to understand the instruction, but when he did, he stood firm. “No.”
“Kid—”
“No.” Damian scowls at him. Jason rolls his eyes, but mentally shrugs. The kid was raised by Ra’s Al Ghul, he’s seen worse.
With that, he turns his attention back to the weeping man in front of him. He debates saying something else, but decides against it. No need to draw this out any longer.
He takes a step back, and fires. The man screams, collapsing to the ground in a crumpled heap.
Jason holsters the gun (he’ll finish the man off in a second) and steps over to Damian. Kneeling down, he reaches out a hand and runs it through Damian’s hair, searching for injuries. “Y’alright, Habibi?”
“I have had worse.”
“I know, kid, but my question stands.” His glove comes away bloody when he reaches the back of the kid’s head, and Damian flinches slightly. “Alrigh’, I’ll take you home and clean you up, but you’re telling Bruce. Where even is the Old Man anyway?”
“I presume he is back at the diner, where I left him.”
Jason rolls his eyes, picking Damian up and settling him on his hip. “‘Course ya ran away. Now I’m gonna have Bats after me.”
A bark sounding through the alley snaps Jason’s attention away from his brother, and he sees Bruce and Ace running into the alley.
“God dammit, speak of the devil.” Jason mutters, eyeing the duo warily.
“Give me my son.” Bruce speaks lowly, clearly eyeing the distance between them.
Jason scoffs, “You lost him. I found him.”
The man on the ground groans, and Jason is reminded of his unfinished business. Without taking his eyes off Bruce, he fires another bullet into Chad’s skull. Bruce flinches at the gunshot.
“Give him back, before I call the cops.”
Ace growls, stalking forward. Bruce drops the leash, and the dog lunges forward.
Jason turns, making sure his body is between the snapping teeth and his brother.
Just before biting, Ace stops, his nose twitching as he sniffs the air, and his tail waves in the air. The growls turn to whines as he noses at Jason's leg. Something in Jason melts a little at the sight of his childhood dog.
“Ace!” Bruce calls, but the dog ignores him in favor of Jason.
“I think you have broken the dog,” Damian comments, and Jason pets Ace before pulling out his grapple gun.
He fires the grapple, watching Bruce’s eyes widen as he feels the familiar tug of the line hooking. Bruce lunges for him just as the gun pulls him into the air. In the short trip in the air, Bruce has pulled out his phone and is frantically talking to whoever he called.
In the same moment, Damian wraps his arms around Jason’s neck, and Jason remembers that this would be his first experience with grappling. With flying.
Jason smiles at his brother when they land on the roof, before realizing he wouldn’t be able to see it.
Jason grapples back to his apartment without saying another word.
When they enter (through the window, of course, no doors allowed), Jason sets Damian down and starts taking his gear off.
The hood and cape are first to go, followed by his masks and gauntlets. When he turns back to Damian, the kid is pouting at him.
“The hell are you pouting for, I thought ya wanted to see me?” Jason grabs the med kit from under his sink and walks over to his brother.
“I thought you would come back with me.”
Jason sighs, “We discussed this, Habibi. I can’t go back. Besides, Bruce doesn’t even know it’s me who has you. There’s gonna be a fuckin’ manhunt now.”
“He took your book,” Damian’s pouty face somehow… gets more pouty..?
“The one I gave to you?” Jason had to suppress a chuckle, but goes about cleaning the cut on Damian’s head.
“Yes.”
“What’d ya do to get him to take that from ya? He never took my books.’
“I may…or may not…have attempted to stab Drake.”
Jason scowls at him, “What did we talk about, Damian?”
“You said not to kill or maim anyone! It was just supposed to be a light stabbing…” The kid is sulking now. It’s almost cute, if Jason weren’t a little pissed at him.
His phone ringing cuts off any reply he may have had. He fishes it out of his pocket, answering it and setting it to his ear before going back to cleaning the cut on Damian’s head. “‘Sup?”
There’s silence on the other end of the line, before a faint voice comes through. “...Master Jason?”
Jason almost drops the phone in shock, and it takes him a second to remember how to use his voice. When he does speak, he’s choked up. “Hey, Alfie.”
Alfred takes a shuddering inhale before continuing. “It is good to hear your voice again, my boy. Although I do have a rather urgent reason for calling. We seem to be missing the child you delivered to us three weeks ago.”
Jason raises an eyebrow at the kid in front of him, finally putting down the gauze and medical supplies. “Are you now?”
“Yes. You wouldn’t happen to know where he is, would you?”
“Nope, not a clue. You should probably keep better track of your birds.”
Alfred sighed, seeming to realize the bluff. “Shall I inform Master Bruce that he is taken care of?”
Jason chuckles before answering. “Nah, let him panic. It’ll do him some good. Besides, finders keepers. Kid’s mine now.”
Jason can hear a hint of a smile when Alfred speaks next. “Hm. Well, try to have him back at the Manor for Sunday crepes. You are welcome to join as well.” It’s Thursday. That gives him four days with his baby brother.
And four days to make Bruce panic, which is always a plus.
He will have to move safehouses though, he wasn’t exactly watching out for cameras on his way here.
“Will do, Alfie. I’ll drop him off Sunday morning.”
They exchange goodbyes, then Jason drops the phone on the couch.
“Wanna explain why ya ran away?”
“I wanted to see you, Akhi. I had not heard from you since you dropped me off.”
Jason sighs, sitting down and pulling Damian closer to him. “You could have asked Alfred to contact me, kid. It’s not safe for you to run around Gotham on your own.”
“I can protect myself!”
“Like you did today?”
Damian scowls, “It is not my fault he caught me off guard.”
“Dames, no matter how highly trained you are, the people here will still win the fight when they are two to four times your size. You have to stay with an adult.”
Damian just huffs in response, and Jason gives the argument up. He’ll just have to keep a better eye out from now on.
#jason todd#batfam#batman#my fics#bruce wayne#fic writing#jason todd fic#fics#and sweet jason#jason todd and damian wayne met in the league of assassins#fluff#very little angst
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Glamrock Bonnie turning out to be Blue in-verse is actually fucked up but not for the reasons you think
Glamrock Bonnie is no longer around the Pizzplex.
We all know that somehow, someway he got damaged corporate decided to replace him with Monty.
We also know that Bonnie’s Bowl was rethemed afterwords to the 50’s ice cream parlor/diner theme we know in Security Breach, a somewhat odd choice give the more futuristic feel the rest of the Pizzaplex has
Bonnie’s look was completely rehauled to fit this new theme as well.
Nothing has been kept from before he disappeared. Not a single piece merchandise. No magnets, no stuffies, no piñatas, nothing. Even the Puppet (who doesn’t even exist anymore) has a stuffy or two. The only images left of Bonnie is some purple, bowling dad knock off and faded cardboard cutouts from Foxy’s pirate adventure.
It’s only in the DLC when the Pizzaplex is falling apart that you can find any physically evidence of him ever even existing, and that’s it’s all surrounding his death.
His friends have nothing physical to remember him by, excluding (maybe) Monty’s glasses, and they can’t even visit Bonnie’s Bowl due to the all the radical changes.
It’s just sad.
#I’d like to think if Glamrock Bonnie came back he’d be pissed at what happened to his bowling alley#‘’What the fuck did they did they do to my alley?!’’#“And WHY tf did they paint me purple?’’#Glamrock Bonnie#Fnaf Security Breach#Fnaf Ruin#Ruin Spoilers#FNAF spoilers#FNAF#AngryComet Rambles#Five Nights at Freddy’s#honestly I stand by the ‘Bonnie was supposed to be GlitchTrap’s new body’ theory#But there is definitely shady business with corporate going around there#Why else would you throw out an entire multi-million dollar animatronic that is so popular that kids are STILL asking for him year(s?) late#Fronnie
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ok everybody saying dan fucks is conrad’s dad you do you but for ME personally the fix will always be conrad’s dad because dan gives cool uncle vibes 1000000% percent more than the fix ever will. but we will both live our truth and we will both be happy 🤝
#because let’s be honest the fix is NOT gonna let conrad live in an alley guys#in my heart the fix adopted conrad and conrad is one of those kids going ‘did you know’ because he learned it from the fix!!!!!#and once again dan fucks is conrad’s dad truthers good for you#but i really don’t think dan would make a great dad LMAO he berates conrad a little too much even if it’s affectionate#i simply cannot hear the fix going ‘i think it’s time to unlearn that lesson’ and saying he’s just conrad’s UNCLE#i do wish alex got to say what conrad got to do though :(#but yeah for me the fix adopted conrad and he went from being a tiny miserable kid living on the streets#to being in a loving family with siblings and a support system <3#and justin of course!!!!!!!!#dimension 20#mentopolis#mentopolis spoilers#conrad schintz#the fix#dan fucks#d20 mentopolis#man i love all of these characters#this season was PEAK
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here’s another ask! What is a tick/character aspect that Dobble secretly likes about each of the cats?
Hmm let's seeee
Naturally with T.C. he admires how much he cares for/all he does for the gang and how much that cat tries to make the best life for them despite their situation or their poverty. I think he simultaneously despises and admires how stubborn T.C. is as a person.
Benny is a very happy and funny little guy and he's almost always able to make Dibble laugh even just a little bit. He does wonder how an innocent lil lad like him got wrapped up with a character like Top Cat but does recognize just how important he is to him and how much he looks up to him.
Dib really likes how expressive and empathetic Chooch is and especially likes how his enthusiasm is contagious. If he's excited you also will be very soon. He's very transparent and wears his heart on his sleeve, he doesn't try and hide his feelings away like most people Dib knows. Also he's very fluffy. Foofy fella. Foofy woofy Choochie boy.
I like to think that Dibble secretly wishes he could have Spook's relaxed attitude so that he wouldn't be so stressed all the time. Spook has got sort of a calming aura to him and while he does beef with Spook the most (besides T.C. ofc), being near him is like a little mental break and he also offers some damn good wisdom and advice.
Fancy's self-confidence is only to be rivaled by the most popular of celebrities, yet he always managed to make room for the fellas in his life despite how many girlfriends he might have at the time. Fancy's boisterous enough to be incredibly charismatic yet he's also humble enough to recognize what he has and hold it near and dear to his heart. Dibble thinks more people can (and should) learn from him.
This is very much a self-indulgent headcanon but Brain is very much Dibble's favorite kitty. Aside from just being the cutest and silliest little scrunkly around, Brain is very kind, patient, doesn't believe in holding a grudge (most of the time) and is a very good listener. It baffles Dib how he didn't become a cold-hearted cynic with all he's been through. Brain's unwavering kindness is a shining light in Dibble's grim career, reminding him that the world doesn't have to be so evil.
That was very long winded and yappy but atp that's the standard for my Sleepy Middle-of-the-Night Posts
Also I meant to reply to this earlier my bee I took a 3 hour long nap and forgot i was alive when I woke up
#top cat#top cat 1961#top cat headcanons#officer dibble#charlie dibble#at his core Dibble is the local Crazy Cat Man#sometimes he goes out of his way to visit the alley and the lads on a bad day (unconscious decision)#Brain likes to climb up him to perch on his shoulders sometimes#at the beginning the chief would often yell at Dibble for letting Brain climb all over him#but Brain never really got in the way of Dib's work and would usually hop off him once he left the alley#and also it's Brain he can do whatever the fuck he wants and you better let him cos he's so stinkin cute#tibbiaych I'm making a confession here i think Brain might be slowly overtaking Spook as my favorite lad#but if that's the case it's like 51 to 49 y'know#deegs dialogue#I mostly talk to myself in the tags tbh#DID YOU KNOW I USED TO HATE BRAIN??? LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING
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Once the doors were shut and the ear piece off, only then did Flint continue their conversation. Because he needed answers and given the interaction between Jack and the other two agents, and his own uncertainty surrounding Charles and the situation, he had a feeling these answers were best given in private. But the question was: would Jack trust him? Maybe he would since he kicked the other two agents out of the room as well as the look of utter confusion and suspicion on his face at everything Jack was saying. A look that returned when Jack confirmed that some shady shit was happening, but more so when he mentioned being able to help Charles. "Me? What makes you think I can help him?" He asked, keeping his voice low even though the room was sound proofed. He still wanted to be careful. "My mission is to find the bioweapon that could wipe out nearly the entire population, as well as the men behind it. That's Vane and Lowe." At least that's what he was told, but there was doubt in his voice when saying those words, as though not so sure about it himself. It's what he was told, but not necessarily what he fully believed.
Flint walked over to the table that had a box of tissues on it and brought it over to Jack to use on his face. "A scientist... do you mean Lowe? And was the bioweapon involved in this back alley deal?" There was so much new information coming to light that was making that uneasy feeling within him make sense, as well as the secrecy behind this mission. How he wasn't told every single detail, or rather he was made to believe that he had been. "Hold on, by his own people do you mean MI6?" He asked, just wanting clarification. Because he'd been told Charles Vane betrayed them, though it made sense he'd be told that if something else actually happened, but... would M -- would Izzy -- truly lie to him? And Bonnet? He was a bad liar with a damn good heart so it was hard to imagine Stede being part of whatever the fuck was going on, but then again, he came into it sometime after Vane left MI6. "He's involved with the bioweapon, Rackham. How the fuck is he not the right man? If not him, then obviously Lowe, but he's working with him, is he not?" There was a knock at the door and Flint quickly snuck over to lock it. "So, what, Vane never betrayed MI6? Is that what you're saying?" Another knock at the door, followed by voices asking what was going on.
"One second!" He called out, unsure if they could even hear him yelling. "He's trying to stop Lowe?" He asked directly, trying to get his questions out quickly in hopes to get quick answers. "Why should I believe you? Why should I trust you or Vane?"
The knocking turned into banging followed by threats to break open the door.
Oh he should be very afraid of Anne Bonny. Jack had the brains but she was the muscle. It didn’t mean he didn’t struggle against the men that had him though, and Anne was furious. Her nose was dripping with blood, and it took four men to subdue her. She snarled. “ Don’t you touch him! Jack, just do as he says! “ She spit blood out onto one of the agent’s shoes.
Jack grumbled. “ I told Chaz we should’ve stocked more boys. Men like you like them. — ow!! “ He was thrown down into the chair in his main office, and any sound of him hurting sent Anne to her feet, scuffling again. But the criminal laughed, his bloodied face coated in a shit eating grin. “ He was right too. You came right into our little rouse. “
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my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be
me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha
#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience#basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night#where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything#it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young#and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again#but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good#and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get#it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough#and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced#i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up#and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it#and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN#TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY#and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it#im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday#what is even going on anymore#also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do#actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk#and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd#i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3#hella goes home
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caught between
“thank god it wasn’t my show because i genuinely would not have survived dark alley AND pavlove in the same setlist”
and
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME IT SHOULD HAVE *INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREAMING*
#you don’t understand i saw ‘fob played pavlove for the first time ever live’ and my heart stopped#and THEN while i was still processing THAT#i saw ‘FOB PLAYED DARK ALLEY’#are you FUCKING KIDDING ME#i would have been genuinely sobbing so hard i would throw up#had that been me#what kind of maniac puts them on a setlist together what are you trying to fucking DO#KILL SOMEONE??#fob#fall out boy#so much for (tour) dust#EDIT: JESUS FUCK THEY DID A PARTIAL OF JET PACK BLUES TOO????#high school me is SHAKING and SOBBING
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all that said. despite so much of this stuff being heavily future-based. i find og jsr more fun to actually Play LMAO
#mod noname#not yoyo#like. i dont know if i can say one is better than the other#they are very different games that try to do very different things#and they have diff strengths and weaknesses too#like i prefer the og's artstyle but future has more fun settings#and i think i geeeenerally would say im a future ost guy (though theyre both very good)#(us!og jsr has dragula which is hilarious to me and a point in its favor tho.)#and future obviously has more story stuff going on. and hits my preferred sweet spot of zaniness i think#but og jsr is just straight up more fun for me#the combat in future is not great imo and i def prefer how FUCKING STRESSFUL og jsr's enemies are LOL#but that said - i am also a guy who likes to Dodge things more than fight them!#and also while future's maps are like. big and complex#that actually makes things HARDER for me because my ass gets lost SUPER easily#so the comparatively more compact maps in og jsr is more up my alley#i also like og jsr's fucked up overly precise grinding/combos mechanics because im sick in the head.#ultimately i think theyre both flawed but enjoyable games though#and their flaws are very endearing to me#so many things in both games that just leaves me like “WHAT?? BUT WHY????” but in a charmed sort of way#why the fuck do the 'exit' routes in og jsr exist. actively hostile game design#the jsrf noise tank cleanup. why even#those games just Did Shit man
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I'm currently working on making full body refs of my human!FNAF lot and... I made a realization:
They're ABSURDLY TALL. Like, comparing them to some of my taller/average height D&D full refs... Bonnie, my guy. What the fuck. Also Sun is one of the shorter ones. I don't think more than maybe 3 Animatronics/Androids in my AU are shorter than 6' tall. I think the only two rn are Balloon Boy and Cupcake, who don't have refs done yet, so... Wow! I don't know why I made them all fucking massive!
(oh, of the FNAF refs I have done, I have the main FNAF SB group aside from Vanny and Gregory, and Glamrock Bonnie done. That's it. I have a bunch more lined but I still have a handful more to drawn including all the humans lol)
I'm adding in something post-posting this. The arm on the side of Bonnie's original image I had posted is... Sun! Didja guess rightly? Probably not because his arm that's visible there isn't visible here!!! Lol
#the disappointment speaks#drawings by me#ocs#does this count as d&d if I'm doing them in the style of my D&D refs?#I mean they could be like shadowrun or cyberpunk ttrpg characters#and I use my d&d tag as a ttrpg catch all now so#I guess? either way they're massive lol enjoy Bonnie's height yo#also shout out to Sun's hair. I don't know if I like it but after changing it 40 different time this was the best#also I changed a few things about Bonnie. namely he's got purple hair not BLUE because I'm in denial.#but I did keep blue in his outfit!! as did I keep red bc I based his design off the one sign in the bowling alley in sb before ruin came ou#wait a second are tumblr tags longer now? what's the character limit on tags? Why have I unlocked a third line in the tags? I now have to t#oh that's the length. I literally hit the max on that one tag. wow#enough rambling in tags! I have to post a link to this post on my twitter because fuck if I'm uploading my art there even in lower quality#GOD DAMN IT THE TAG LIMIT-
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it's okay guys we just have to get through thursday and friday we're good
#and also hobie brown exists#hey rant warning#more like feverish mumbling#i had such a stressful and annoying day today#everybody say fuck robert from the marketing department👍👍#uahwghhhh im just tired#gotta wash my hair and i just ate some pizza its good#i have to be seriously thinking abt what im doing abt my masters#im so ducking stressed#do i do it on the side and work in the meantime <-would have to find a new job in the city i might move to. i have no portfolio nothing#do i go into it fully and not work <-i could be making money by im not. not that im in desperate need it would just be very nice to#be building a stash yknow#dude holy fuck what do i do#also if i were to move and change my job would i try to keep the current one until i find another or do i just drop it end of sept#like i planned#oh and also!!!! do i go and do a masters in programming which will probably give me a more universal chance of employment in IT#or do i go into gamedev whoch would be more up my alley i think but i also think would limit my chances in the general market outside gamed#if i did just programming i could take some gamedev courses on top#but god fucking knkws i wont unless thereatened with a knife thats just not gonna happen#and also i will be miserable the whole way through in programming bc i assume its just gonna be 2 more years of what i did for bachelors#while im hoping gamedev would be kinder to me but have no realistic way of knowing since we only had one class in game making for bachelors#i did like it though (as opposed to literally everything else past the first 2 lectures)#also im passionate abt games and gamedev (as in i love to look at it amd listen abt it. not that im deeply in love with doing gamedev and#This unsure still. like i like it from the outside. v much. havent had the chance to say for sure whether i love it from the actual doing p#rspective#also besides all that i need to buy an outfit for a wedding thats like 3 weeks away <-may be alot but not to me and not for buying clothes#and also also a persons hitting on me over dc and theyre getting me overwhelmed (i dont mind it mostly. i just think its pointless and they#e not getting the hint)#im so confused like how do u hit on a person literally the only thing u know abt is that theyre gay and youve exchanged like. 70 words tota#dude im in a fever dream
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eli clark you will forever be famous
#i like him such a normal amount he is definitely not one of my biggest comfort characters atm and it does not completely fix any bad mood im#in to just read his wiki page over and over again. because that would be crazy. and im not crazy#literally. what really got me into idv was i said if they reran the p5 crossover id download it and them a couple days later they fucking#announced itd be coming back. BUT. if there was ever gonna be anything else to get me into the game itd be him... his design is up my alley#and i love characters who are genuinely kind and well meaning but just a little. off putting. theres just something a little strange about#them (hi kale). i think he says the most cryptic shit ever sometimes with a stupid smile and everyone around him is completely baffled#literally what did he mean by that 24/7 with this guy#i need a stress toy of him with a squeaker inside so i can constantly squeeze the life out of him (deeply affectionate)#i shld really nail down a gertrude design i want to draw the 2 of them so bad. unfortunately the first thing i do will be a shitpost#top 10 blorbos of all time.... mutuals pls send me eli posts in the mail whenever. all of them every single one u see#unless hes like a centimeter wide i cant handle that. it damages my psyche to remember theres people who genuinely think hed be thin#hymn.txt
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Toji with a puppy girl👀
Nah cuz puppy!reader…x wolf!toji‼️⁉️ GOODBYE YALL🫡
Alright imagine wolf cop!Toji and puppy!reader who accidentally got caught speeding and acting all fidgety and nervous when he made her roll her window down. Wolf cop!Toji’s leaning against your car door, merely asking for your driver’s license and you’re already shaking in your seat.
The first thing you did was trying to explain why you were speeding just a little, to buy some heat suppressants and Toji could see that you weren’t lying about that. Puppy girl is all sweaty, your eyes are droopy with indecipherable lust and your aromal pheromones were begging him to breed you. He is a servant of the law, supposedly having to be professional on his job, but fuck did he want to help you with your heat.
He doesn’t know the extent of his self-control and he has no interest in testing it today—so he promptly sends puppy off with a warning, he’d better not catch you speeding again.
The next time he saw puppy was a few seasons later—when he was passing by an alley on the way home from dinner with the chief. There was a little yelp of desperation, and what seemed to be someone calling for help. He could smell the scent fraught and despair, along with a familiar whiff of feminine pheromones.
Stalking into the tenebrous alleyway, he found you cowering all scared over the corner, ears back and tail between your legs as a hooded male prowled closer to you.
Without much thinking, Toji hauled the male away from you, smashing his frame against the wall before locking his hands behind his back.
The man tried to fight back but it was all simply in futile. He could try all he want but Toji would still have him subjugated under his strength. Ripping the hoodie off of him, and as his features were described; it was the serial rapist around your area.
“Oi!” he called for your attention, sobbing as you shut your thighs tight together. “Get my phone outta my pocket.”
You did as you’re told, dialling the number he chanted aloud and soon the cops were there to bring the male under custody.
“Thank you for saving me, sir,” you spoke to the intimidatingly huge wolf. And Toji returned with a terse ‘welcome’, noting the crimson blush you wore underneath your cheeks and your strong intoxicating scent; it made his head heavy and the world seemed to whirled in his sight.
“Yer’ alright?” his voice was comfortingly deep, the grizzly pitch scratching the nerves in your ears. You’re practically sweating, and acting like how you were the first time he saw you. “Why are you out here alone this late?”
“I was going to get some heat suppressants and my car was getting fixed. So I had to walk…” you embarrassingly cried. Fuck, he swore in his head, not again. The officers were busy with the rapist bastard and letting you continue your walk alone seemed unsafe. So, he’d better send you back as quickly as possible and get on his merry way home.
Or so he thought.
“Please, please, please…!” you tearily whined, rubbing yourself against his knee, nose buried deep in his neck, breathing in his manly essence. Toji was beating back a groan, your scent punching his nostrils and messing up his heartbeat. He was supposed to drive you home, and somehow you’re straddled on top of him just as he has reached your home.
“Hey—”
“It hurts s’much, sir!” you’ve balled his shirt into your fist, staring at him with those wet puppy eyes. It’s your hormones against his instincts, and he has to put himself under control no matter what. “The toys are no use, I can’t do it anymore!”
“Where’s ya suppressant?” Toji sighed as he rummaged through your bag, his thigh began to dampen and the bulge in his pants pumped against the restraints of his brief as it grew in size. You didn’t manage to buy it, did you?
“Please, save me,” your voice broke as you cried, desperation oozing out of your eyes along with your tears. He could feel your pulse through his pants and your drenched panty, and fuck were you pushing him towards the edge of his limits. “It’s just this once, please…!”
Your words were the breaking point that wrenched the very last of his self-control out of his wavering self. But rules are still rules, and he worked quickly to call his partner, instructing him to help log out of his shift system for him. You were practically all over him when the phone call ended, your little teeth nipping and licking over his saliva-coated neck.
“Bad girl,” Toji clicked his tongue, his voice was low, almost predatory with a growl. You let out a yelp when he grabbed your face, forcing your head to the side as to expose the supple skin of your neck. It wasn’t fair for you to mark him without expecting him to imprint on you. Especially when you’d let out your adorable gasps as he sunk his sharp teeth into your flesh, your skin threatening to break and blood ready to flow under the subjugation of his canines.
He would only learn more of the sound you’d make when he pressed a finger against your pulsing clit through your embarrassingly wet panty, teasing and rolling your bud until your body shook and voice begged him to touch you more.
You were all he could smell and hear, his mind and body nearly drunk off of your pheromones that bubbled into the sizzling hot air. And it took the rest of a pathetic amount of restrain left in him not to eat you whole. He would have to compromise on the honey that seemed to coat your skin, sucking and biting the sweetness off of you.
Your gasps turned to whines when he stuffed a finger into your heat, a single digit of his large enough to please your squeezing cunt. But he expected you to take more than that, stretching out your slick-dripped pussy with two of his thick fingers. Your cavern squelched as he slipped them in and out of you, your head growing heavy and your eyesight turning hazy.
“Feel so—nnh, good…!” you slurred through the pleasure that shook your nerves. Your movements did nothing but agitated the bulge in his trousers, and Toji hated being edged of all things. So he had your wrists bounded by his cuffs, your arms raised above his head and your motions then restricted to your hips as you buckled them from the tingles in your core.
Toji smirked through one of the bite he was marking on your chest when he pumped his digits in and out of your sloppy cunt faster, his thumb reaching your clit and stimulating both of them at the same time. You burst into heightened cries as you felt your orgasm coming close, your hips rolling with his thick fingers as they curled over the gummy part of your wall, your eyes rolling to the back of head as pressure started building in your core.
“Mmnh—I’m cummin’, I’m cummin’!” you repeated into a chant, your features twisting to his enjoyment as he watched you come undone from his mere fingers.
From the look of it, Toji knew you haven’t had enough. You were at the height of your heat, any coherence long melted into your innate desires to mate, for hours at least. You tried to free yourself from the cuff he’d locked you in, your eyes raking over his body down to the pumping size in his pants, a spot of pre-cum damp from your doings.
“Please, sir…” you whined through your adorable doe eyes, your craving for his cock to fill your cunt catching up to your limit. “Please fuck me.”
“That’s what I wanna hear,” Toji smirked, nipping the end of your sensitive ear, causing you to shudder from his touch. He loved the fact that he doesn’t have to ask for you to beg for him, his animalistic ego stroked by your adorable neediness.
Your eyes nearly popped out when you watched him unbuckled his belt and pulled his pants down to release his fat cock, veiny and pulsing and ready to pump you full. You were almost too eager to fit him inside of you, your hips sinking down a little too quickly. But Toji was quicker to grab you before you hurt yourself. You were already well prepared, your body releasing all the hormones necessary but still, you were built a little too small for him.
“Someone’s impatient,” Toji chuckled as you wriggled in his hold. Just as he thought, your lips paused open when he slowly sank you halfway down his length, his thick cock pushing against the wall of your tummy, a little bump from the shape of his bulging from the inside of your stomach.
The both of you swore underneath your breaths, and you threw your head back when Toji started shifting into your hips. You were so damn tight and warm and wet that his carnal need to breed hit him like a fucking truck.
His jaw clenched as he forced his whole length into your pulsing hole, your eyebrows furrowed and teeth sunk into your bottom lip from how full you felt. Your breaths left your mouth as dragged moans when Toji began to draw his hips out and into your weeping cunt, slow but deep.
His thumb drew circles upon your hardened clit once again, attempting to ease your clenching hole but it did nothing but tightened your grip around his girth. “You gotta relax, pup,” he groaned into the sultry air, and you cried as you shook your head.
“M’ can’t! Please!” you mewled, rolling your hips for the least bit of friction, itching to ease the tingle between your thighs.
“Fuck,” Toji growled as tears of frustration began forming in your eyes. You weren’t the only one starved for sex, he’s been holding on for so long just not to hurt you. But you’re an eager one, can’t even wait for his cock to start moving and you’re sniffling your tears aback. “You better not regret this,” he clicked his tongue before drawing his hips back, slamming them up into your weeping cunt.
The car shook from the force and a scream lodge itself in your throat, your pussy ached with his cock dragging against your walls, and a pulsing warmth began to swarm all over your belly. “Haah—it’s s’good!” you mumbled unsteadily, your back arching into him and eyes turning crossed.
“I need you to be, shit—clearer, sweet.”
“Your cock f-feel s’good, sir!” you could feel the way Toji twitched inside of you, his pace relentless and rough. It doesn’t take long for you to feel the crack of the pressure in your core, and your released gushed all over his lap and car seat, the scent of your essence making his head heavy.
He doesn’t stop even when your lips spewed nothing but rambles, your drool slipping down your chin and onto your marked chest. Instead, he began to fuck himself into you, harder and faster. Your thighs shook for the way his cock spurred up your insides, it was as if he was trying to bring you apart then and there.
Toji bellowed out a low growl as his nails sank into the flesh on your hips, using your body like a fleshlight and messing up your sore cunt. Your slick cavern hugged his cock tight as he twitched, the nerves on his tip dancing upon the fire of pleasure before you feel a rope of his velvety semen paint your insides white, a wave of orgasm crushing down over you soon after.
You’re too drunk and dumb off his cock to stop him, your eyes rolled to the back of your head and tongue idly lolling out. Toji had spent too much of his time enveloped in your mating pheromones, his hormones raging all over his body, twisting the levels until he was down to nothing but a hulking body of a male intending to impregnate.
Unbeknownst to you, it would take days for a wolf’s rut to wear off.
#BUNN—nsfw#toji x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#toji x you#jjk toji#toji smut#jjk men#jjk fanfic#zenin toji#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen imagines#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x reader smut#anime#anime smut#smut#x reader#one shot
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GOJO SATORU: HUNGRY FOR MORE
✩ ‧ ˚. serial killer!gojo x detective!reader: fucking the serial killer you're supposed to be arresting might be the best (or worst) decision you've ever made. PART 2 | NSFW
contents: fem!reader. porn with plot, dubcon, public sex (in an alley), p –> v, orgasm denial, fingering, he cums inside, unprotected sex, degradation, praise, lil' bit of dumbification, hair pulling, squirting, dirty talk, manipulation/coercion, mentions of murder (he's a serial killer what did u expect), non-sexual mentions/usage of guns, probably more. 3K words.
author's note: wrote this instead of writing my research paper and studying for my math final. if this flops i will actually become the serial killer /j. anywaysss tagging @satoruhour @screampied @satorena.. and yes, the "season 2 coming soon" in the banner means something ;)
“looks like your little killing spree’s gonna have to come to an end,” you muse, crossing your arms and cocking an eyebrow at the man across from you. he grins back at you, and it’s almost unsettling—he looks a little too smug for a killer who’s just been caught.
“i don’t think so, sweetheart,” the man responds dryly, leaning back against the alley wall, features relaxed and at ease. he—satoru gojo—has been your target for a couple weeks, and now that you’ve finally cornered him, you find yourself feeling a little… unfulfilled. usually, when you caught criminals, they begged for mercy and showed a little more emotion than what satoru’s shown so far.
also, the criminals usually weren’t this good-looking.
you maintain eye contact with satoru while you carefully reach into your coat’s pocket, withdrawing your phone and unlocking it. unexpectedly, satoru doesn’t make any move to stop you from dialing the number to your boss, instead smiling coyly as you do so.
“so, you’re one of those guys who don’t care what happens to them?” you ask, tilting your head as you hold the phone to your ear. satoru shrugs and his grin only widens the longer your phone rings. ten seconds pass before your phone tells you that the number you dialed is currently busy, and satoru’s muffled laughter becomes unbearably suspicious. you narrow your eyes and involuntarily take a step back. “what’s with the smile?”
satoru scoffs and dips his head, pushing himself off the wall and taking a step towards you. “y’know, you’re rather brave, comin’ out to catch a serial killer all by yourself. and in the middle of the night, too.” he stops advancing when he sees you pull a gun out of your pocket and hold it up threateningly, a look of warning in your eyes. “okay, okay, relax. i’m not gonna do anything to your pretty face.”
“what did you do?” you ask suspiciously. satoru widens his eyes in mock disbelief, as if he’s completely and utterly shocked that you’d ever accuse him of anything.
“besides the fifteen separate counts of murder? not much, really.”
“i’m not an idiot,” you snap, cocking the gun and aiming it at his head. “you’re not the one in control here, satoru gojo. spit it out before i put a bullet through your skull.”
satoru laughs and holds his hands up in surrender. “fiesty, aren’t we? it’s alright, i like my girls with a little fire in them.” he tilts his head to the side and looks you up and down, eyes lingering on parts of you that suddenly make you feel naked, despite the coat covering most of your figure. “put down the gun, sweetheart, then we can talk.”
you wait a second, scanning satoru’s overly relaxed face before cautiously lowering the gun. “what are you hiding?” you ask again, eyes hardening.
“a lot of things. but i think you’re talking about what i did to your boss, right?”
“you have five seconds before i shoot you.”
satoru makes a face and then rolls his eyes dramatically. “fine, since you’re bein’ so pushy about it. i killed him, obviously. you’re a smart girl, shouldn’t you have figured that out by now?” when you don’t immediately answer, satoru sighs and shakes his head. “and here i thought that the girl who’d been tailing me for the past week would have a little sense in that pretty head of hers. looks like i was wrong.”
“shut it,” you snap again, re-dialing the number and letting your phone ring for fifteen seconds. when nobody picks up, you internally curse and think about what to do next. dialing 911 would be worth a try, but the look in satoru’s ice-blue eyes makes you think otherwise. despite the gun in your hand, something about him makes you entirely certain that he could overpower you, even if you landed a shot on him. and even if you just shot him right now, he’s been shown in the past to be able to function fine with a bullet through his chest. that’s how two of your subordinates lost their lives to him—by underestimating your city’s notorious killer.
so you decide to bide your time.
“ran out of options?” satoru asks smugly. he raises an eyebrow when you slide your phone back into your pocket and exhales a laugh. “you gonna wait for a big, strong man to rescue you? ‘cause i’m right here, honey, and i could be your savior.”
“that was actually the shittiest line i’ve ever heard,” you scoff, rolling your eyes at the self-satisfied look on his face. “are you seriously proud of that one?”
“well, it worked.”
he pushes himself off the alley wall and towards you so fast that you hardly even have time to process it, and before you know it, you’re the one pressed to a wall with a gun to the side of your head. satoru’s other hand grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head, and his face is close enough to the point where you can feel his breath—which is unexpectedly minty—on your cheeks as he grins down at you. “you really think i’d use a line as shitty as that if i didn’t know it’d make you lower your guard? tch, you really shoulda known better.”
you use every curse word you’ve ever heard in that moment and grit your teeth, rapidly thinking through all the possible ways you could get out of this situation, but nothing comes to mind. you’re quite literally stuck in between a rock and a hard place, with a gun pressed to your head and with your limbs out of commission.
satoru clicks his tongue and widens his eyes at you, leaning in closer. his lips are uncomfortably close to your own as he traces the gun down the side of your face, cold metal brushing against your heated skin. “not gonna fight back? that’s no fun.”
“the fuck you want me to do?” you snap irritably, glaring up at him and curling your hands into fists. satoru tightens his grip on your wrists and cooes a sarcastic apology to you, taking his time looking you up and down again. if you didn’t value your life, you probably would’ve said worse, but seeing as you were the only person in this ridiculously isolated alley, it wouldn’t be worth much.
“i dunno. didn’t that detective academy or whatever teach you anything?”
you roll your eyes again, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you consider the possibility of your eyes getting permanently stuck in the back of your head just because of him. “y’know, you’re not giving me a whole lot of options.”
satoru laughs. “if i did, that’d defeat the whole purpose, wouldn’t it?”
at this point, death would be preferable to hearing his idiot talk any longer.
“so, i’m gonna be the one asking the questions from now on,” satoru continues, clicking his tongue disapprovingly when you scowl. “if you behave, i won’t hurt you that badly, ‘kay? keep that in mind.”
“thought you liked your girls feisty.”
“oh, that’s true,” satoru muses thoughtfully. “yeah, never mind, you can be a little bratty. i need a reason to fuck you stupid anyways,” he grins after a moment of consideration.
“what the fuck?”
“you heard me, sweetheart,” satoru cooes, feeling his pants tighten as he watches your eyes widen. your “tough” demeanor drops for a split second, and satoru can’t help but want to fuck it off again when it returns. your scowl deepens and you frantically think through all your options again, but there isn’t a whole lot you can do at this point.
“if you wanna stay alive, you’ll be a good girl and you won’t scream,” satoru murmurs, leaning in closer and pressing his lips to yours. you grit your teeth and try to shove him away with your shoulder, but it doesn’t do much. satoru smiles against your lips and hums softly, pulling away with an almost affectionate look on his face. it’s so at odds with who he is and what he’s done that you drop your guard again, wanting to believe that he really will keep his promise not to hurt you.
satoru sees the shift in your features and smiles tenderly, all traces of his borderline-sadistic look gone. he studies your face for a moment and kisses the corner of your mouth, letting his lips linger for a second before he pulls away again. “i’m gonna let your hands go now, m’kay?” when he drops your wrists, they fall limply on his shoulders as you warily study him, eyes wide with confusion. it’s jarring, the way he just… changed personalities within the span of a couple seconds. “i’m not gonna hurt you, pretty,” he breathes, dropping the gun and letting it fall to the floor with a loud thwak. “this’ll be a lot more fun for me if you don’t resist, yeah?”
oh, fuck it.
“okay,” you murmur, ignoring every siren going off in your head. you don’t really have any other options, and honestly, nobody was going to walk by and get you out of this sticky situation anytime soon. and satoru was pretty attractive… and you could just arrest him afterwards, right?
as if he read your mind, satoru smiles and promises, “you can handcuff me after i’m done with you. just let me have a little fun one last time, baby.”
yeah, it’d be a stupid decision to believe the sweet-talker towering over you. there’s no way he’s just going to let you drag him off to jail, but there’s a reason he’s stayed out of the grasp of the law for so long. it’s hard to live a life as on-the-edge as being a serial killer, but the reason satoru’s survived for this long is because he knows how to use his words. he knows how to make a person go against every warning in their head, and he knows how to get what he wants.
which, for tonight, includes you.
“you have thirty—no, twenty minutes,” you mumble, knowing damn well that this would be the end of your career as a detective. whether or not you dragged satoru in after all this, you could never continue your work knowing you had sex with the biggest serial killer in the city.
satoru laughs and kisses you again, lips trailing down your face and settling on your neck. “haven’t i already made it clear that i’m the one in control here?” he muses as he slips his hands under your coat and tugs it off. it falls to the cold ground and bunches up around your feet, leaving you in a button-up shirt and flowy, dark pants. “c’mon, let’s get these clothes off you.”
within a minute, the rest of your clothes save for a black lacy pair of undergarments join your coat on the floor, and the chilly nighttime air nips at your skin. “i’m cold,” you mumble, feeling yourself involuntarily tense up everywhere but where satoru’s hands cloak your skin. satoru laughs in response and presses his knee to the spot in between your thighs, and something in you snaps at the point of contact.
“you really are an idiot, aren’t ya,” satoru scoffs, hand sliding down to your waist. his fingers latch on the waistband of your panties and he tugs them down, exposing your already-wet pussy to the cold evening air and his eyes. “lettin’ a serial killer fuck you in a dark alley… what kind of detective does that?” satoru spits on two of his fingers and slips them inside you, instantly groaning when he feels you clench around him. “fuck, you gotta be the tightest pussy i’ve felt in a while,” he mutters, white hair falling into his eyes as he looks down shamelessly. “do you not have sex with other guys?”
“don’t have time,” you swallow what would’ve been an embarrassingly loud moan as his fingers go deeper and deeper. how long are this man’s fucking fingers?
“aw, look at you, you’re so cute,” satoru cooes, smiling down at your scrunched up face. you look back at him through squinted eyes, hips starting to roll against his fingers. it’s true—you really haven’t had time to have sex given your already-insane schedule. it’s almost like you spent more time tracking the man who’s now knuckle-deep inside you than sleeping, but the slutty part of your head tells you that it paid off.
“‘m gonna cum,” you whine pitifully, squirming around satoru’s fingers as he curls them inwards, making you clench around him even tighter. a shiver runs over your body, starting from in between your thighs and spreading all over you as satoru’s fingers move back and forth inside your soaking wet cunt. “g-gojo—”
“call me satoru, baby, and you’re not cumming until i say you can.” with that, satoru withdraws his fingers from your pussy with a pop! and grins at the way you glare at him sullenly. he mockingly pouts and licks his drenched fingers clean, tongue lapping up your essence. “heh, don’t worry, i’ll make you cum more than you knew you could once you’re stuffed with my cock.”
although you’ve determined satoru’s “promises” to be dubious at best, he fufills this one after he’s spread your legs wide open and positioned his cock at your entrance. “this might hurt, baby, but remember, no screaming.” after you nod in acknowledgement, satoru slips his tip in and watches, amused, as you try to close your legs on reflex. “uh uh, keep ‘em nice and wide f’me,” satoru tuts disapprovingly.
and true to his word, it hurts—a dull ache spreads throughout your legs as his dick goes farther and farther inside you, reaching places you hadn’t felt in a long time. satoru’s hands settle somewhere on your waist as he pushes himself deeper, ignoring your gasps and pleas for him to slow down a little. your shaky hands move to his hair and you unwittingly pull on it, somehow eliciting a soft groan from satoru’s lips, and somewhere in the back of your mind you think that of course a serial killer has a hair pulling kink—it just makes sense.
“s-satoru, it won’t fit,” you whisper, feeling satoru hit an especially tight spot in your cunt. even with how wet you are, it just feels like you can’t possibly take any more of him—he might as well be ten feet inside you, given the pain in your hips. but, as expected, satoru only smiles tauntingly down at you and murmurs words of encouragement as he somehow pushes past the barrier and gets all the way in amid your pained whimpers.
“yeah, that’s it, knew you could do it,” satoru says sweetly, voice coated with poisonous honey. now that he’s all the way in, the ache from your waist down starts to fade into pleasure, especially as satoru starts moving himself in and out to get you used to the feeling of his dick. “just like that, pretty girl. jus’ like that.”
soon enough, he sets an unexpectedly harsh pace that makes your back arch off the cold, brick wall behind you, and even as satoru tries to keep up his “cool serial killer” act, you can hear his quivering breaths as he gets close to cumming. “shit, i forgot how fuckin’ good it felt to fuck a cunt this tight—” he mutters through gritted teeth. “‘m gonna cum inside, ‘kay?”
you nod breathlessly, chasing your own pleasure and not actually listening to the words satoru murmurs in your ear. at this point, it didn’t matter—all your pathetic little head could think about was satoru’s dick, and somehow, you forget that he’s a killer when he cums inside you. it’s hot and thick and it almost knocks you over—when was the last time you felt this good, if ever?
the coil in your stomach snaps and you cum with him, nodding along to satoru’s praises on how well you’re taking him. you squirt all over his painfully hard dick and suck in a sharp breath as you do so, body trembling from the force of both of your orgasms.
“see, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” satoru murmurs when you both come down from your highs, stroking your hair almost tenderly. you bob your head in response, face warm and eyes unable to properly focus. he stuffs his fingers back inside your puffy cunt and scoops the cum dripping down your thighs back inside, mumbling something about not letting a single drop go to waste. “who knew the pretty detective i’d had my eye on would be this good to me?” he cooes, grinning snarkily.
satoru’s earlier promise floats through your head and you force yourself to look him in the eye. “y-you said you’d let me arrest you after,” you breathe, back still pressed to the wall as satoru surveys you amusedly.
“oh, sweetheart, you’re in no condition to be giving orders,” satoru says condescendingly, pulling up his pants and grinning at you. his cheeks are still flushed red, but whether that’s from the cold nighttime air or from the heated sex, you don’t quite know. “we should do this again sometime,” he continues conversationally as he picks up your coat for you. despite the fact that you’re still naked and trembling, satoru drapes your coat around your shoulders and helps you button it up.
“but you said—” you protest, but satoru cuts you off with a raised eyebrow.
“you didn’t seriously believe me, did you?” satoru tuts, shaking his head. “i’m a serial killer. i’m not gonna turn myself in just ‘cause of a detective’s pretty pussy, baby. you should’ve known better, doll.” satoru wraps an arm around your limp shoulders and tugs you in for a kiss, lips pressing firmly against your own for a couple seconds before he pulls away with a satisfied smile.
he leaves you with a promise to see you soon.
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