#—discord for a while because i was just so anxious? idk why discord but uh yeah i guess

[landscaping-your-mind]

[ID: Tags from yaluzaishin reading: “#it’s covered in the fucking ooze. y’know” /End ID]

"i'm not triggered or upset by or even ideologically opposed to it, i just associate it with something so bad that i can't enjoy it anymore" is such a frustrating relationship to have with a piece of media

[auramindedd]

I Like You - SMAU*

Part 10

CorpseHusband x FemReader - Y/N

warnings: cussing

notes: uhhh,, idk where to take this series, but ima just go w the flow igs 😭 also,, i completely give up on adding the small details like the likes, comments, replies, and the times on tweets so i’m super sorry if it bothers you lmao

it’s also pretty long,, mostly writing rather than the smau, butttt i really like this one 🥺

——————————————————————————

“When’s Rae gonna be home?” Corpse asks, playing with his hands.

“She’ll be home tonight, I just don’t know at what time. Why?”

“Uh... I- I just... I don’t know? I’m kind of nervous?”

“Corpse, Rae is your friend. But if you don’t feel comfortable, I can get a hotel room for you not too far away from here?” You suggest, 100% willing to pay for a hotel room for him if he wouldn’t feel comfortable being here with Rae here.

“I wanna stay here- with you... If that’s okay with you, of course.” There’s a slight blush on his face, it makes you smile a bit.

“Yes, I want you to stay here, too. You can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” You grab his plate, stacking his on top of yours, taking them to the sink.

“No, no. I can be on the couch tonight, I don’t sleep anyway.”

“Corpse, I’m not gonna have you sleep on that uncomfortable ass couch. Come on, we’ll figure something out. Wanna watch a movie?” He nods his head. You grab his hand, or more so his fingers, leading him to your room.

You turn the lights off, turning your fairy lights on instead. You tell Corpse to get comfortable, fluffing pillows for him, letting him lay back.

You know Corpse would be a bit anxious and nervous, not something you’d ever blame him for. You’re surprised you’re not being awkward or nervous. You’ve been trying your best to keep Corpse comfortable here, making sure he isn’t getting too nervous.

“Can we watch High School Musical? I have the stupid ass songs stuck in my head, childish me is coming...” You ask, not wanting to torture him with such a movie. Well, it’s not a bad movie, but you’d understand if anyone’d want to shoot themselves in the head while watching.

“Of course, baby.” You can’t help the butterflies that erupt in your stomach from the nickname. You sit closer to the TV, wanting Corpse to be comfortable rather than you.

Suddenly, you feel a hand around your waist. Corpse pulls you to him, letting you lay next to him. He looks at you, smiling. You smile back.

“Corpse, can I ask you a question?” He hums, indicating for you to go on. “That one time, you didn’t answer me for two days... You told me it had been because I was too ‘pretty.’ I didn’t believe you, and I still don’t. Why didn’t you answer me, like for real?” You don’t ask this in a bad way either, you’re just genuinely curious.

“I- uh... I’m going to be 100% honest, Y/N, but I don’t wanna scare you away.” He says cautiously, hesitating to go on.

“Corpse, you could never. I’m too attached already.” He chuckles, letting out a sigh.

“I like you. Like, like like you... I liked you before even seeing your face, but after, wow.” Silence. Deafening silence. But honestly, you can hear your fucking smile. You don’t think you’ve ever smiled so hard in your life. “Y/N, baby, say something, please.”

“Corpse,” You look up at him, probably scaring him with your smile. “I like you, too. Like, like like you.” He chuckles, but it’s more of a chuckle of relief. If that’s a thing?

He pulls you close to him, letting your head rest on his chest. You listen to his heartbeat, his breathing, trying to match yours with his. You slowly drift off, your eyelids getting too heavy to keep open.

———

You wake up in Corpse’s arms. He’s gently stroking your side, looking down at you with a small smile.

“Good morning,” His voice is raspier and deeper than it already is. You didn’t know that was possible.

“Good morning,” You say, yawning softly. You bury your face deeper into his chest, snuggling closer to him.

“So fucking cute.” He mumbles, softly chuckling.

After a while of just laying there in Corpse’s arms, you decide to check social media and your messages. Already, Twitter is going crazy, assuming quickly that you and Corpse are dating. It’s not anything you didn’t expect, but it’d be nice if people didn’t jump to conclusions.

You decide to tweet a good morning, feeling good about today. And sadly, very unfortunately, you decide to text back the group chat - something you’ve been dreading to do.

Corpse is there, reading the messages, but you don’t mind.

You kind of, accidentally, and very stupidly put yourself out, but it’s all good, nobody said anything besides Brooke. You all have a drunk Among Us lobby to get to.

After getting ready, Corpse getting his laptop and mic ready in another room, you join the Discord call. Corpse joins quickly after. Surprisingly, nobody says anything about you two being in the same apartment while greeting each other. You don’t doubt that someone will say something soon.

“Let’s all take a drink - to Corpse and Y/N holding hands!” Alex exclaims, clinking his glass on his mic. The rest cheer, pretending to clink their glasses as well. You sigh and laugh a bit, but nonetheless, you’re gulping down a glass of champagne.

“Alex,” You say, catching his attention.

“Yeah?”

“Fuck you!”

“Hey, hey, hey. No fucking.” Karl says, and you can hear him slap his hand to his mouth after realizing what he just said. The lobby bursts into fits of laughter, but the one you’re trying to listen for, Corpse’s. It’s silent on his end.

“Karl, how much have you had to drink?” Dream asks, slurring his words. Didn’t this game just start?

“I had like 3 beers?”

“You fucking lightweight.” You tease. “Dream, you’ve been drinking too...”

“Yeah, we might’ve pregamed an Among Us game.” He admits shamefully.

“Didn’t expect less from you two,” Rae says, adding a disappointing tone to her voice for effect. She starts the game, despite the sad protests from Karl and Dream.

Crewmate.

You pout, wanting so badly to be Imposter. You’re a good liar to say the least, and people easily fall for your sweet, innocent voice. It’s funny, pathetic even, which is why you want at least one good Imposter round.

“Whaddup, baby,” Corpse greets you in Nav. Dream follows behind him, Karl coming in shortly after.

“Hey, my beautiful alcoholics!” You greet cheerfully, earning groans from them both. Oh, how fun it’s going to be teasing them.

“At least she called us beautiful.” Karl says, walking out of Nav with Dream, leaving you and Corpse alone again. You get back to doing your task, connecting the ship with the dotted lines and whatnot.

“Am I beautiful?” You can hear the pout in his voice, it’s cute.

“Gorgeous, stunning even.” You say before walking out of Nav, smiling to yourself.

This round is pretty uneventful, along with the next few. But after about five rounds, you’re all incredibly drunk after playing some drinking games.

“No balls,” Rae dares. You’re Imposter this round, and Rae’s made you her personal hitman. She’s telling you to kill Karl, but he’s innocently doing his tasks.

“I have three actually.” You defend yourself, not making any sense at all.

“Three what?” Sykkuno comes in.

“Three balls,” Rae answers.

“Okayyy then...” Sykkuno drawls, leaving you two alone. Corpse comes along, the second Imposter. Oh, how convenient.

“Hey, Corpseee,” You greet, making it so fucking obvious.

“Oh my God!” Rae exclaims. You sigh, facepalming yourself. “Corpse kill Karl, Y/N kill Sykkuno.”

“Woah, since when did we become your hitmen?” Corpse backs his astronaut up.

“I’m not killing Syk!” You whisper-yell.

“Okay, then you kill Karl and Corpse can kill Sykkuno.” You can hear her shrugging as if it’s no big deal, but literally, Karl and Sykkuno are the sweetest people to you.

“No, I’m not doing it, Rae...” Corpse still hasn’t said anything. He’s watching you and Rae go back and forth, whisper-yelling even though anyone would be able to hear you.

“I’ll call you two out.”

“You’d never,”

“The emergency meeting button is looking real sexy right now.” Ugh, fuck the stupid smirk you can just hear in her voice.

“Fine, we’ll do it.” Corpse says. He goes and kills Sykkuno. You hesitate killing Karl, but he already watched Corpse kill Sykkuno so, unfortunately, you have to.

You and Corpse run away, leaving Rae to report the bodies.

After you and Corpse vouching for each other the whole round, nobody putting sus on you two because well, you sound so innocent and sweet even while being shitface drunk, you two win, earning groans from everyone in the lobby except from Rae.

“To be fucking fair, Rae had me and Corpse be her hitmen sooo, you can blame her if you died.” The lobby starts yelling playfully at Rae.

———

After finally finishing streaming, Corpse comes into your room, plopping down onto your bed.

“Gosh, I’m gonna have the worst fucking hangover tomorrow.” He murmurs into your pillow, hugging it close to him. You jump onto the bed, sitting next to him, playing with his hair. He doesn’t mind, or you don’t think he does.

“It was fun,” You say, smiling to yourself. You love spending time with your friends. You can’t imagine how much fun it’d be if all of you got together in real life.

“It was,” Corpse yawns, looking up at you, smiling as you keep playing with his hair. He gets up, settling himself into your bed again, pulling you into him, letting you rest your head on his chest. You wrap an arm around him, snuggling yourself closer to him.

“We should probably eat something... And get ourselves some water.” You say, knowing that tomorrow’s hangover is going to be a bitch.

“I don’t wanna let go of you.” Corpse whines. You try getting up, but he almost throws a fucking tantrum. Quickly, you get out of his arms, running out of your room, giggling like a fucking maniac.

“Y/N! Please!” He shouts softly, trying not to wake Rae. He runs after you, following you into the kitchen. You run to the other side of the counter. He goes left, you go right - vice versa.

“Corpse, we need food and water.” You say, trying to grab pans out of the cupboards while he’s trying to get you. You can’t help yourself from giggling. Rae will kill you if you two wake her up.

“I wanna hold you,” Corpse pouts. Gosh, he’s going to be the death of you.

“In a sec, I can make us something real quick.” Drunk Corpse obviously equals Clingy Corpse.

“Fine,” He sighs dramatically, sitting on a stool. You grab pans from underneath the cupboards, pulling out some bread and cheese. Grilled cheese is easiest and it’ll take the least amount of time.

As you’re plopping bread into the toaster, Corpse snakes his arms around your waist, snuggling his face into your neck. There’s the slightest stubble, making you giggle.

“Corpse, I can’t cook with you on me.”

“Yes you can, I’ll help.” So stubborn...

You take the bread out of the toaster before it gets too toasted, putting it on the buttered pan.

It was a mission to finish the food to say the least. Corpse demands you eat in your room that way he can hold you. You put on The Promised Neverland, watching the TV as Corpse watches you. But honestly, you don’t mind.

You two fall asleep in each other’s arms again. And you don’t think you’d ever be able to fall asleep without being in his arms again.

——————————————————————————

Taglist - comment or message me to be added.

Sorry for not updating, I have to go through a bunch of posts. I’ll update in the next post.

* if you’re name is in bold, i couldn’t tag you. *

@letsloveimagines @liljennyx3 @youretheonlyonewhomakesme @blackheartemojivibes @lo-manburg @walkingonchairs @strawberrydonkey @tayloryorkscurls @bluepancakemix @prettylittlealiengirl @yeetmymood @victoria-a567 @loraleiix @moonlightsimp @jades-bullshit @teenloves @greenie-of-shield @fanworrior @thefvckvp @bigdaddysatan @mirahg @rosy-feels @arossebyanyothername @kitsamii @lollipop0605 @happyyyandcrazyyy @maraudingmarauder @stickystrawberrysyrup @majasophieanna @ilovejjmaybank @starstruckllamapuppy @owl-llie @thurstyforholland @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @in-fucking-deed @a-dot-dev @rjsmochii @boiled-onionrings @neenieweenie @vvenusblue @bellomi-clarke @smiithys @londonskies @16marie @leah-0207 @officiallyunofficialperson @wineandionysus @fanficlover99

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Tags - ignore::

[stimmypaw]

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

T

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

:C

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

[polyamorouspunk]

Have you ever had a bad partner that really shook your world up, and now affects your current relationship. And once you used to be super supportive in ethical poly but now you confide in your partner that you're super freaked out by the idea of dating anyone/them dating ever again? You don't want to hold them back but somehow you've grown out of control with jealousy? Or is that just me 😬? (Hope this is okay to send, feel free to ignore!)

The only shitty partner I had was someone who I bonded with on here because we were both like “not all cis people suck!” And were like “nonbinary is real!” And just various things like that being super inclusive, until one day I was starting to figure out my mulpliticity which I put down to genderfluid at first and I was like “I feel like I’m genderfluid between a cis girl and nonbinary” and they were like if you’re genderfluid at all you can’t be cis and I was like oh! Well fuck you, YOU do not get to tell me what my gender can and cannot be, and ALSO now I’m both cis and trans so FUCK YOU!

My boyfriend was a bit worried about me dating again after that. I will say that I’m kind of a shitty partner in the fact that I am so jealous. I always ask permission for things first, like I asked my partner if it was okay if I got a dating/friend app and they were like idk that makes me anxious so I immediately dropped it and moved on because I’m not here to make them uncomfortable, but they’re mostly comfortable with me having other partners where if he ever wanted another partner I would Not Be Okay with it and I would immediately close off our relationship on both ends (as much as I would still want more partners) because I could not handle him dating anyone else. I’ve at least gotten to the point I can mostly hear about him talk about his coworkers without getting Borderliney, but when we first started dating I never gave any ultimatums but I did get Borderliney when he was talking to other people, but at first he would literally leave me high and dry for his toxic and abusive friends sometimes which made me really Borderline.

Our relationship was really rough at first. If he were to get any friends and hang out with them outside of work I don’t know how I would feel. Maybe a part of it is because his friends were toxic and he literally had to hide our relationship from someone so “she wouldn’t get mad” which is the most fucked up and shitty thing to do and YES I am still traumatized over that, and his ex was Holy Shit™️ and is the main reason I never wanted to ID as trans because they were the first trans person I had a really shitty experience with and I was like if being trans means that you’re going to be a bully then I don’t want to be trans (illogical I know but I was fucking traumatized) but I introduced my boyfriend to my best friends and they are loyal and loving and we’re all friends now and I feel like these are the first non-toxic friends he’s ever had. And being with him we both have helped each other grow so now he’s able to put his foot down and speak up for himself, and honestly? I LOVE it when he stands up to me because I know that a few years ago that never would have happened. I trust his judgement of picking friends now but his “friends” and exes were SO toxic that I was just like why are you picking these people over me? I don’t know if I can deal with that... if you’re going to pick someone over me they shouldn’t be someone toxic who you have to hide our relationship from.

The only toxic ex I had was that one I mentioned before and not an “ex” but I was also in a bit of a toxic friendship with someone where basically I was head over heels in love and she was a flirt and we were gay but she was monogamous and committed and eventually things got tense I guess and I left her discord and uh she blocked me on here? Even though we never like faught or anything? (For clarity I knew her irl). Which is 100% her right but I mean I was just so fucking infatuated with her. The other guy that I’ve been in love with for 10+ years is a great dude, my partner has met him a few times and likes him as a person for the most part, I love him, he knows, it’s been that way for a decade... my partner before my current partner (sophomore year high school) I don’t hold any ill will towards but that was my first traumatic experience as I went over his house for a party and our friends were doing sketch things and I was clearly uncomfortable and his friend ended up being the one who was checking on me and making sure I was okay (thanks dude) and eventually everyone left and it was just us and I almost died there (let’s not get into that right now) and then he left me outside in his yard to go to bed? And then 3 weeks later he dumped me but like idk if you and your gf almost die maybe like don’t leave her in your yard alone but like once again no ill will.

Other than that, my other two partners has been someone I was “dating” except we never talked so we “broke up” even though we weren’t really dating and then my friend from college who I only started dating during quarantine but she was like I love you but I can’t do the long distance and I still miss her but that’s okay.

I’ve never had a successful additional relationship and while I hate the idea of “soulmates” because it’s so monogamous and I hate the idea of “the one” because it’s so monogamous my partner right now really is the one for me and my soul mate. No matter how much we’ve hurt each other we still love each other dearly and YEAH we traumatized the FUCK out of each other and we don’t forget that and maybe even not forgive but everything else past that point has been the most amazing thing in my life that as much as I want another relationship or something if he isn’t okay with it I won’t because I can’t mess this up. And of course I support ethical nonmongamy for other people and I’m always on the lookout for someone new to flirt with, I consider myself “choosing to be monogamous” while not dating anyone else because my current partner matters more than anyone and it seems like anyone can be not what they seem at first and turn around and stab you in the chest, and that’s not a fun thing to have to worry about with dating and friends.

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

how do you make friends/mutuals here on tumblr/other sites. all of mine have drifted away and it sucks. any tips and also is it weird to message people and just start talking?

Ok so I’m both the right and the wrong person to approach about this subject.

Right because I’m generally pretty good at making online friends (in lieu of flesh friends probably). Wrong because it’s not through any effort of my own, lmao. At least not consciously? 

So while I don’t have any substantial tips to give you, I have some thoughts that hopefully you’ll find useful?

First things first: You’ll drift away with a number of people no matter what, so that’s just a given. For me personally it’s usually because of ideological disagreements, but sometimes we’re just rarely in the same timezone.

As for messaging people, I wouldn’t say it’s weird per se, and it can definitely work, but I never do that personally, and usually when people have messaged me with the intent of “becoming friends”, the conversation hasn’t lasted beyond a week at most. I dunno why but that’s just how it’s been for me personally. (Ok I just remembered where this actually worked once but the person in question sent in an anon ask first and I urged them to message me so idk if that counts.)

There are also some people who are generally uncomfortable with people dropping into their chats (I’m not and encourage people to do so), and many on writeblr can be shy or anxious, so direct chat is, I would say, a bit more “aggressive” and can be off-putting. If your Intended Friend is a bigger writeblr, then they probably get unsolicited messages like that a lot more, and the chances of you getting noticed among the pile are in the negatives. 

For me, the best way of finding friends (not mutuals, because there are some people I’m not mutuals with but we’re still pals) is through Discord. I’ve been pretty spoiled when it comes to that, because 4/4 times I’ve just sat back like a decadent monarch while the masses have piled into my servers, and 3/4 times it’s worked pretty darn good.

But that requires that you already have a decent following, and that can be hard when you’re just starting out. However, everyone and their mom has a server right now, so if you know your intended Friend has one or is part of one, you could just join it.

I’m not suggesting Discord because I’m a Nerd, but because it’s a place specifically FOR conversation and casual chatting, versus just dropping into someone’s DMs and hoping they feel like talking to some rando, and often they’re themed after something specific. It means you have something in common with the people in there and something to talk about from the get-go. It’s also filled with a bunch of other dingdongs, so if your Intended Friend doesn’t seem into it, you might find other buds!

You can also go the traditional way of just interacting with the person’s content over a period of time to the point where they know your URL and they’ve spoken to you and seem comfortable with you.

As for keeping them from drifting away? *shrug emoji* I dunno what to tell you there. I think usually, for me at least, for a friendship to last, you’d need to have something in common with the person outside of your shared interest. That way, once your conversation about Topic of Interest has died down after Contact Has Been Established, you can still find new things to talk about. It also helps to like ... check in on them? Ask them how they’re doing? Like if you notice they’ve been quiet or blogging about sad stuff. Idk I think that’s just something you do with friends (IRL and internet) in general, but it helps to know that someone cares about you outside of your ability to provide Bants, and that they’re aware of your absence. It also reminds them that you exist so that’s a bonus.

But uh ... yeah! I think that’s all I have to say on this particular topic. It’s hard making friends in this bitch of a world, so you stay strong and keep at it! 

Good luck! 

[mcnstres]

( casually slides onto the dash ) HEY THERE! i’m s, and yes, it does indeed stand for shithead, and i live in pst. i turned twenty just four days ago so that means three hundred and sixty-one more days until i can legally drink in the united states. cue the confetti poppers. but anyways, i’m v v excited to be here and can’t wait to plot with you all! that being said, hmu if uh, you know, you wanna like, plot or sumthin sumthin. my IMs are open but if that’s not really your style, i also have a discord that i’d happily give out if you ask. but yeah, below the read more is all that jazz, yadda yadda, ye. 

rape tw, abortion tw, death tw

*  ADRIA ARJONA  &  CISFEMALE  / /  here we’ve got BELLE MÁRQUEZ-ROSALES,  the  THIRTY-EIGHT  year old VAMPIRE  -  luckily, SHE  actually looks about TWENTY-FIVE years old.  with a reputation for being  BENIGN,  AUDACIOUS,  CREDULOUS, and  SELF-DEPRECIATIVE, it’s surprising we haven’t heard more about them.  BELLE has been around faulk hollow for 2 WEEKS, but they ain’t leaving anytime soon. you hear CONFIDENTLY LOST by SABRINA CLAUDIO? that means you’ll see ‘em soon.

she was born and raised in grand haven, michigan. her mom had her at 16 and idk where her dad went but uh, he wasn’t in the picture. her aunt was 27 when her mom had her, and she’d already been told she couldn’t have kids, so when belle was born it was kind of a blessing in disguise for her. the mom didn’t really want anything to do with the kid, she was a teenager at the time and was too wacked out over the fact that the baby-daddy vanished. so yeah, her aunt and uncle were basically her parents

never had a good relationship with her mom. also has a lot of half-siblings due to the fact that her mom just wouldn’t stop having kids lol

belle’s always been kind of, idk, perfect?? she was a good baby, quiet, barely ever cried, always sleeping; she was a good kid, remembered her abc’s and times tables in the first few weeks she learned them, never talked back to her tia; she was an exceptionally good teenager, didn’t drink or smoke like the other kids, kept straight a’s, did hella volunteer work, etc. you get the whole gist. she was just... good. she did everything she could to NOT become her mother, and so she worked hard and kept out of trouble

but then when she was 16, belle was raped. it happened after her sophomore homecoming football game; her friend wanted to go to a party to celebrate and belle didn’t want her to go alone so basically she only went to keep an eye on her. long story short, belle found herself locked in a room with a drunk guy and that’s when he took advantage of her. she ended up pregnant afterwards and got an abortion. at first, she was going to keep it because she was raised by a very religious family, that’s partially the reason why she has so many damn half-siblings, but her aunt supported her decision to get the abortion

despite what’d happened to her, belle continued to try and see the best out of her life. she used it as her motivation to get stronger, to get out of grand haven and make a better life for herself. she graduated high school as valedictorian and then ended up going to the university of michigan

she entered college as a human biology major. she wanted to get her phd in gynaecology and eventually join the msf, aka, doctors without borders

life seemed to be going well for her. she fell in love, got into med school, and she just felt like everything was on track

but you know, something bad always has to happen when she thinks everything’s good and dun dun dun she gets turned into a vampire!! she, tommy(da bf at the time), and his sister were ambushed by vampires. while tommy survived, she and his sister were turned. they decided to stay away from him and let him believe they were dead because one, belle couldn’t control her bloodlust for shit and she didn’t want to end up killing him or sumthin, and two, she was ashamed of what she was. she thought he’d see her as a monster. to this day, belle still hasn’t really come to terms with the fact that she’s a vampire

belle and tommy’s sister have basically been moving from town to town, living in a place until blah blah something goes wrong and they have to move again. the last time they had to move from somewhere was because belle almost killed someone, yay. they’ve been in faulk hollow for about 2 weeks now and she isn’t really aware that there are other things besides vampires out there??? like “ghosts??? ghosts aren’t real”

no daylight ring so ya girl stuck in da dark. BUT if there were some kind of witchy woo out there that’d make one for her... that’d like.. be a nice thing to plot out *eye emoji*

totes drinks blood bags. she a bambi lover and drinking from humans is a huge no-no for her because uh surprise she still has problems with her bloodlust

*  THEO JAMES  &  CISMALE  / /  here we’ve got ANDREI OVCHUKHOV,  the  SEVEN HUNDRED AND THREE  year old VAMPIRE  -  luckily, HE  actually looks about THIRTY-SIX years old.  with a reputation for being  ENDEARING,  VIGOROUS,  IMPETUOUS, and INTEMPERATE, it’s surprising we haven’t heard more about them.  ANDREI has been around faulk hollow for FIFTY-FOUR YEARS, but they ain’t leaving anytime soon. you hear GLORY & GORE by LORDE? that means you’ll see ‘em soon.

he was born into a family of farmers in early 14th century russia. he was the eldest out of six children and his parents were simple, kind people. they struggled to make a living out of their harsh environment but always remained optimistic

things only got harder after his father died of disease. he had to take on the role of the “man” in the house and continued to farm, which mind you, was not at all what he wanted to do. he wanted something more out of life, to be something more. he had such ambition but was tied down to a lesser living by his obligation to family

1351, the black death came to russia. the weakest and less fortunate were contaminated first, so it came to no surprise when one by one, his siblings began dying of the plague. first it was his youngest sister, then it was his brother, and so on. the last person to die was his mother. he’d been by their sides the whole time, not caring if he too would get infected, and took care of them all until their last breath

one night, when andrei was sitting alone in the empty little house, a stranger came knocking at his door. it was storming heavily that night and the woman was looking for shelter. he warned her that the plague still lingered in his home, but oddly enough, she didn’t care. he let her stay and during the short time she was there, andrei basically told her his whole life story. she was an unfamiliar face and he was in dire need of letting out all his pain, so who better to tell than a person he probably wouldn’t ever see again? the next morning, she turned him without permission and without hesitation

at first, andrei had doubts about his vampirism. he didn’t like the idea about having to feed off of humans, but after awhile, all those doubts and sense of moral faded away. he realized that being a vampire was what he’d wanted all along - the abilities, the immortality, all of it. he could get anything he wanted and soon that power started to get to his head. that, and the bad influence his maker was on him. they spent his first century as a vampire together, sometimes as lovers, sometimes not, but in either aspect, she always had some kind of hold over him. she introduced him to the wealthier side of life, to over-indulgence, luxury, all that sha-bang. she created the person he is today. but after awhile, things began to get strained between them and their companionship ended rather abruptly(probs pretty violently too ngl) and to this day, andrei still holds hella negative feelings towards the other

after three centuries of taking lover after lover, partying like the world was gonna end, surrounding himself with luxury and wealth, basically living as the dionysus incarnate, he met yelena vladimirovna. he found her absolutely breathtaking and it found it extremely hard to stay away, even after news of her betrothal got around. the night of her wedding, he seduced her with promises of immortality and ever since then, they’ve been together. that’s his boo yo.

they partied hella and lived an extravagant life for the longest, so when they decided to settle down in faulk hollow, it was a huge change for him. he didn’t really like the boring and subtle lifestyle, but let’s be real, he’d probs do anything for yelena so he dealt with it. but fifty-four years later and he’s starting to get real anxious, he might even start killing people randomly because he’s bored and needs something to do lmao

got a daylight ring wayyy back when. also probs gave one to yelena as some kind of “engagement” ring

can be seen strolling around town in gucci and versace because he’s #extra

[diannaagrcns]

and on another note... im so sorry i’ve been such a terrible friend recently! i know i can be inconsistent even at the best of times, but i’ve seriously been neglecting my online friendships lately and it’s 100% my fault, just ongoing issues w/ me, myself & i -- none of you have said/done anything to make me wanna avoid you or anything like that! im just like.... doing what my anxious, depressed brain thinks is “the right thing” and removing myself from ur lives to an extent -- which is super stupid!! because if y’all really didn’t want anything to do with me, you would unfollow me! block me! remove me on sk*pe and d*scord! and none of that has happened so uh??? @ myself.... don’t make other ppl’s decisions for them, maybe?? because we are a TERRIBLE judge of... well, of me! we think we’re always a terrible person! a terrible friend! a terrible sister! a terrible daughter! but there is proof out there, there are ppl out there who insist that this is not the case!! so maybe let them decide if that want me around, bc i defs want them around?? but think im ~not good enough~ for anything or anyone so me distancing myself is somehow doing the world a favour or smth

idk idk

the point IS !! i am aware that i’ve been super distant! it took me a while to kind of put it together, like, oh fuck, i haven’t messaged these good friends in more than a month?? i haven’t opened skype or discord at ALL in about as long? just shit like that. idk if im ready/able to try and change that rn but i know i’ve dropped the ball and i know it can be stressful to wait this long to hear from me! 

and i....totally lost where i was gonna go next w/ all this ffs why does this keep happening ://