#—and by that I mean how they both posted pictures of looking tired or annoyed without context

[showtoonzfan]

Idk if this is worthy of sanding you but apparently it’s about the production of HB.

https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/136919037/ 

This might be a “trust me bro” moment, but who knows. Viv making that tweet however just felt like another attention grabber to me cause if you’re upset about something that you can’t even tell us, why mention it?? I could care less about the situation tho.

[giannan04]

mean dom jungwon putting you in handcuffs pleaseeee

OMG I love this request! It took me days but it’s finally posted! I had the time of my life writing this and I hope you love it! Thanks for requesting!🫶🏻

—

Pairing: Jealous BF! Jungwon X Afab! Reader

Genre:SMUT!, slight ANGST, Established Relationship AU

Warnings: HEAVY SMUT! Slight BDSM (reader is in handcuffs), MEAN DOM! Jungwon, Slight dumbification (if you squint), choking, Oral Sex! (Both M & F receiving), throat-fucking, Unprotected sex (is BAD), cream-pie, P in V, angst, some fluff at the end, I think that’s it!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT‼️🔞

Your boyfriend Jungwon’s frustration (and jealousy) boil over when you come home late from the movies with Jake, a mutual friend who has always given him bad vibes. Despite your assurances that Jake is just a friend, Jungwon’s jealousy and anger reach a breaking point. Convinced that Jake’s intentions are not as innocent as you claim, Jungwon confronts you about your friendship with him, trying to tell you that Jake doesn’t want to be just your best friend. Tired of you being so naive, Jungwon decides it’s time he puts you in your place and shows you exactly who you belong to…

—-

Jungwon was standing in the shower, hot water streaming down his body as he ran a hand through his wet hair. He realized that you still weren’t home, even though you were supposed to be back from the movies by now. Bitterness settled deep in his chest. He’d been annoyed from the moment you told him you were going to see the new ‘Deadpool’ movie with your best friend, Jake, but now, his frustration was rising as it was getting dark outside, and you were still gone.

Jake was someone you both knew—mutual friend—but Jungwon hated that Jake wanted to go with just you. He had always suspected Jake had feelings for you, even though you insisted it was nothing. Still, Jungwon couldn’t forget the way Jake looked at you sometimes, casting you lingering glances and flirtatious smiles that were far too familiar; Jungwon would look at you that way before you two were together. He thought back to the countless times Jake had crossed the line. Like the time Jake 'jokingly' grabbed your waist at that party, or the time he was a little too eager to take pictures with you at the amusement park, standing too close, touching too much. Or the time he caught Jake looking up your skirt when you were all at the mall; and when Jungwon confronted him, he just brushed it off, not even denying it. Or the many times Jake always told Jungwon how “lucky he was to have you.” Jungwon gritted his teeth at the memories. And you, always too naive to see it. You kept insisting Jake was just a friend, that he was only being friendly because you were his best friend.

Jungwon let out a frustrated sigh as he stepped out of the shower, quickly drying himself off and getting dressed. Now he was getting worried—why weren’t you home yet?

Just as he was about to grab his phone, headlights flashed through the window. Jungwon crossed the room to the open window and looked down, seeing Jake’s car pull up in front of the house. He watched as Jake walked around the car to open your door, a smile on his face as you stepped out. Jungwon’s jaw clenched when he heard Jake’s voice through the cracked window.

“I’m really glad we got to spend time together, just the two of us,” Jake said, his tone light and flirty.

You laughed in response, completely unaware of the tension that was brewing upstairs. “Yeah, it was fun.”

Jungwon’s eyes narrowed as he saw Jake lean in for a kiss, but you turned around too late, completely missing his advance. Still, the sight of Jake trying to kiss you set Jungwon off. He stormed downstairs just as you walked through the door.

“What the hell was that?” Jungwon’s voice was sharp as you closed the door behind you.

You looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“You and Jake! I saw what happened outside. He tried to kiss you.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “No, he didn’t—”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Jungwon snapped, stepping closer to you. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he flirts with you. And you, just letting it happen. Are you really that naive? Or do you just crave attention? Do I not give you enough?!”

Your face flushed with embarrassment. “I swear, Jungwon, I didn’t know he was going to do that. Jake’s just my friend.”

“Just your friend?” Jungwon scoffed. “Do you really think he sees you that way?”

“Yes! Jake’s been my best friend for years, he’s never tried anything. He’s also your friend, he wouldn’t do that to you.”

Jungwon ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “You’re so fucking clueless sometimes. You have no idea how guys like him think. He doesn’t just want to be your friend.”

The argument went on, Jungwon growing more and more pissed as you tried to defend your friendship with Jake. But Jungwon wasn’t having it.

“Enough,” he finally said, his voice cold and commanding. He rubbed his eyes, passed off and annoyed. “You’re going to learn who you belong to. I’m tired of this shit.”

Before you could say anything, Jungwon grabbed your wrist and pulled you upstairs to the bedroom. The door slammed shut behind you, and his eyes were dark with a mix of anger and lust.

“Take your clothes off. Now,” he ordered, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Your heart raced as you fumbled to obey, quickly undressing under his intense gaze. Before you could fully comprehend what was happening, he reached into the nightstand and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Your eyes widened and you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could react, he had you pinned down on the bed and your wrists were locked in place behind your back.

Jungwon’s eyes flashed as he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. “You’re going to learn your place tonight,” he growled.

He was rough from the start, his hands gripping your body as he pushed you deeper into the bed. Jungwon was always rough with you in the bedroom, but you had a feeling that this time would be different. The cool metal of the handcuffs bit into your wrists as you struggled against the restraint, but it only seemed to fuel his desire. And you weren’t gonna lie, it was turning you on. His mouth was on you in an instant, trailing hot kisses down your body until his lips reached your core. Without warning, his tongue flicked over your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

“Look at you, already so wet,” he murmured against your skin. “Did you get this worked up thinking about Jake?”

You shook your head, breathless. “N-no—”

“Don’t lie to me,” Jungwon growled, his fingers slipping inside you, curling in a way that made your eyes flutter and see stars. “I know exactly what you need. I’m the only one who can give it to you.”

Jungwon relentlessly teased your clit with his tongue, with his fingers moving in and out of you at a punishing pace. Your mind started to blur as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over you, but Jungwon didn’t stop. He pushed you further, taking his jealousy out on you as you whimpered beneath him.

“Such a dumb little thing,” he taunted, his voice low and dangerous. “You’re so fucking naive, letting him get so close to you. You’re mine, you hear me? No one else’s.”

You could barely form a coherent thought as your body shook from the intensity of it all. His fingers were hitting your g-spot just right. “Fuck, Jungwon. I’m close…” your cunt tightly clenched around his fingers as you came, and Jungwon just kept going. You felt like you were losing control, but Jungwon kept pushing you, not letting you come down from the high.

When he finally pulled away, you were a trembling mess, but he wasn’t done with you yet. Jungwon stood up, sucking your juices off of his fingers, his eyes dark as he grabbed your hair and forced you onto your knees. With a smirk, he pulled down his sweatpants, revealing his throbbing, erect cock. You nearly dropped at the sight.

“You’re going to take it,” he ordered, his grip on your face tightening. “And you’re not going to talk to Jake ever again.”

He gripped the base of his cock, the tip already leaking with precum, as he tapped it against your lips. “Tongue out,” he growled, his voice low and commanding. You complied without hesitation, your lips parting as you obediently stuck your tongue out, letting it brush against the swollen head of his dick.

Slowly, you swirled your tongue around the tip, savoring the salty taste of his precum. Your lips then wrapped around him, creating a tight seal as you started sucking him off, your mouth moving in slow, deliberate strokes. Saliva began to pool, dripping down over his shaft, coating him in slick warmth. You moaned around his cock, the vibrations sending shivers through Jungwon’s body.

He groaned deeply, his head falling back slightly. “Fuck, baby, you suck my dick so well,” he panted, his voice husky with pleasure. But you could tell he was growing impatient. Jungwon always craved more, always wanted to take control. His grip on your hair tightened, and before you could prepare yourself, he thrust his hips forward, forcing his cock deeper into your throat.

The sudden movement made you gag, your throat constricting around him as he pushed himself deeper, relentless in his pace. His hand on your head kept you firmly in place, and tears began to sting your eyes as he fucked your mouth. Your nose was nearly buried in his abdomen, the overwhelming sensation of him filling your throat almost too much to handle, but you knew better than to pull away.

“You understand me?” Jungwon growled, his voice ragged. “You’re mine. Only mine.”

Jungwon continued to thrust into your throat, his hands tangling in your hair. His cock was so far deep that you felt the tip grazing your tonsils as he fucked your throat, his balls slapping against your lips and chin. Droplets of tears rolled down your cheeks and you were gagging, but in a weird way, you loved the feeling of your boyfriend using your throat like this. “Mmmmm”, you groaned, the tip of his dick grazing your tonsils.

Jungwon moaned, "Fuck, I’m about to cum." Without warning, he stopped moving and held your head still, his cock twitching in your mouth, pressing against the inside of your cheeks. You felt his warm seed shoot into the back of your throat, the sweet and salty taste filling your mouth. As you pulled away, a thin string of his cum lingered on your bottom lip. Jungwon leaned his head back, eyes closed, and sighed. “Fuck, baby, you’re so nasty to me. Jake wishes you could suck his dick like that.”

But Jungwon wasn’t satisfied. He craved more—he wanted to destroy you, to remind you of your place after spending time with Jake. Roughly cupping your cheek, he said, "I’m not taking those off yet, baby," gesturing to the handcuffs. "I don’t think you’ve learned your lesson yet. Jake will never be able to fuck you the way I do. When I’m done with you, you won’t even remember that asshole’s name."

Jungwon roughly kissed you as he inserted his fingers into you, to make sure your pussy was ready for him. He pulled away and smirked. “Still wet, only I can turn you on like this.” He pushed you back into the bed, spreading your legs apart. “Don’t close your legs, or I’ll make sure you suffer way more.” “Yes, Jungwon”, you complied, laying on the bed with your legs spread far apart and your arms handcuffed behind your back.

Jungwon grabbed his erect cock, rubbing the head onto your swollen clit, teasing you. “Jungwonnn, ohmygod”. You were so impatient; his teasing felt good, but you needed more. Jungwon placed his rand hand on your neck, gripping it tightly, as he used his other hand to push his dick into you.

“Fuuuck.” The feeling of his erect, curved length felt so good. But Jungwon didn’t give you time to savor it. He immediately starting thrusting inside you, his grip on your waist hard enough to leave bruises behind. His right hand still gripped your throat, lightly choking you. “Fuck, baby, your pussy is so so good. And it’s all mine, you’re never giving my pussy away.” He moaned breathlessly, his thrusts getting stronger each time. The sound of skin slapping echoed in the small bedroom.

“Jungwon, I’m already close,” you moaned uncontrollably, your eyelids fluttering as you felt Jungwon’s erect cock throb inside of you.

“Me too, baby,” Jungwon’s grip tightened around your throat as his thrusts became more erratic. He looked down at you, his grip on your throat loosening. He kissed your forehead, continuing his erratic thrusts.

“Cum first baby.” You nodded, feeling pleasure course through your body as you came. Jungwon’s thrusts became light while you came, your cum coating his dick perfectly. “Fuck, Jungwon. I feel so good,” you cried out. Your legs trembled and lay flat on the bed. Jungwon finally reached his climax, his cum filling your hole perfectly. The warm feeling felt amazing to you, and you both moaned while his dick twitched inside you, filling you up.

When he finally pulled away, your body was spent, your throat raw. Jungwon’s demeanor had shifted. He uncuffed you, gently rubbing your wrists as he laid you back down on the bed. He kissed your body, showing extra love to the marks left by his thumbs on your waist and neck. Jungwon lay on the bed, gently pulling you on top of him while you wrapped your arms around him and nuzzled your face into his neck.

“I know you and Jake are just friends,” he said quietly, his fingers tracing your skin as he wiped away the sweat. “But I see the way he looks at you. It drives me crazy.”

You nodded, still catching your breath. “I won’t talk to him anymore,” you whispered, agreeing without hesitation. You loved and needed Jungwon, and you weren’t going to let Jake ruin your relationship.

Jungwon leaned down, starting to clean you off, and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

You felt his hands on you, soft and gentle now as he took care of you, wiping away the remnants of sweat and cum. But when he realized how much he had missed, he chuckled.

“Looks like we need a shower,” he said, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to the bathroom.

The warmth of the water surrounded you both as Jungwon stood behind you, washing your hair and body with a tenderness that was in stark contrast to the roughness from earlier. Jungwon used one arm to wash you off, and one arm to hold you in place so you wouldn’t fall, as your legs were wobbly and you were still trembling a bit. He kissed your neck softly, whispering reassurances as the water cascaded over your bodies. “You’re mine,” he murmured, his arms wrapped around your waist. “Always.”

——-

[lovecla]

© property of lovecla, nhl masterlist, nico hischier x you.

FAKE IT ‘TILL YOU MAKE IT, phase two:

<last chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: shitty ex boyfriend, mentions of cheating.

➴ word count: 2.5k

💌 from me to you: i just realised i was supposed to post this yesterday im sorry u guys i’m just dumb af. also, did you know it’s almost impossible finding a country music singer who isn’t an awful person or racist? i know zach bryan isn’t exactly a ray of sunshine but it fits the story so i apologise :( i hope u like it either way! ♡

𖧷

NICO OPENED the door for you after the second knock, which was a blessing— it usually took him more than ten knocks to actually hear that someone was on the other side of the door.

“Hey, there, fake girlfriend,” he kisses your cheeks three times, like he used to do in Switzerland, and you smile at the feathery touch on your skin. “Come in, I made soup.”

“I already ate, but thank you.” You place your purse on his couch, sitting down almost immediately. It had been a long day at work. Jeffrey, the section editor, was being a pain in your ass and spent the entire day trying to convince you to go out with him, claiming that he would take you somewhere to participate in a hot dog eating competition.

The issue here wasn’t the hot dog competition but the company. He was annoying and whenever he spoke, the spit coming from his mouth made you feel like you were in the middle of a rainstorm.

“Are you okay?” Nico asks, sitting by your side after grabbing a bowl of what must be soup for himself. “You look…”

You smile tiredly. “Tired, I know. I’m fine, it’s just work.”

“We can reschedule our meeting for another day, I don’t mind. You can also nap in my bed.” He offers, and you almost melt with how sweet he sounds.

“This is not a meeting and I’m fine, I swear,” you cross your legs, cracking your knuckles mindlessly. “So… we have the Zach Bryan concert coming up.”

Nico sighs, like what you just said was the worst thing in the entire world and you chuckle, finding his reaction cute.

“Do we really have to go?” he pouts and you want to coo.

“Usually, I’d tell you no and move on. You know I’m not a country music girl either but… I was thinking,” you run your fingers through your hair, braiding it while you speak. “It would be a great thing for us. There will be a lot of people there and, I mean… one of them has to know you. And one of them has to post something about us online.”

“And you think Nora will see it?” he asks, eyes full of hope, making your heart ache for a second. You wanted Nico to be happy so fucking bad, that the thought of Nora hurting him made you see red.

“I think… I think there’s a high chance of that happening, yeah,” you whisper, hoping that you were at least fifty percent right. “We’ll just be… y’know. A couple. Jack and the other guys are going to be there so we’d have to fake it anyway.”

“Mhm, you’re right,” he swallows a spoonful of carrot soup, licking his lips afterwards. “We’re fine, then. Instagram posting and all?”

You nod. “I’ll do the posting today. Maybe a picture of you with the guys, so it’s not too obvious.”

“Alright, cap,” he mockingly salutes you, and you laugh, throwing a pillow on his hips. “I’ll do my best.”

𖧷

THE ARENA where the concert was going to happen was full of people, and you caught yourself holding Nico’s hand tighter.

“Everything okay, baby?” Nico shouts over the music, and even though you’re surprised at how used he sounds whenever he calls you that, you nod at him, shaking your head up and down. “If you want to leave we can—”

“The hell you can!” Jack emerges from behind you both, shaking his head. “You promised me months ago that you’d come with me.”

You smile at him. “We did, yeah. Don’t worry, we’re not leaving.”

This time, Nico’s the one squeezing your hand and you give him an angry, yet playful look, while he looks absolutely adorable.

Jack convinced you and Nico to buy these tickets months ago, and when you bought them, you didn’t give it much thought— you knew you’d end up creating some random excuse and not going to the concert anyway.

Little did you know that when the concert day came, you’d be fake dating your long-time friend and trying to fool not only his friends, family and fans, but also Nora, a girl you despised.

Life is too confusing for you sometimes.

Fortunately, Jack also forced you all to pay for the VIP ticket, which meant that you didn’t have to be in the pit with people squeezing you and risking getting hurt, or something like that.

The VIP area was, in fact, just a huge room with a balcony view and snacks, all you can drink beer and some other fancy people who were just sitting there and taking pictures of themselves with their big, cowboy hats. Couples, friends, family— it looked like everyone and their mothers decided that it would be great to watch a man sing about love and broken hearts.

You were people watching— something you liked to do whenever you were in a place with too many people— when you felt one large yet gentle hand on your bare waist, making you jump slightly with how cold it was.

“Sorry,” Nico whispers in your ear, and the tiny yet present accent in his voice makes you smile. “You good?”

You had every intention to reply right away, but when you realized Nico had trapped your body between the balcony glass and his body, you froze. You knew you had to get used to being physically close to him, hell, you’d been the one who told him to keep touching you whenever you were in public so why were you feeling like this?

Sure, Nico’s attractive, always has been. But he’s also your friend. And in love with someone else.

You nod your head, grabbing the beer he bought for you and taking a long sip. Thankfully, the singer, Zach, decides that that was a good time to start singing so the lights are almost immediately off and the shouting covers your awkwardness.

Even though you’re not a fan, you have to admit that his songs are good. Swinging your body side to side to the country beat, you enjoy the show in Nico’s arms, laughing as you watch Jack dancing while holding Bastian’s hands and pretending to cry over Zach’s songs.

“D’you think we should do that?” Nico shouts over the music and you smile at him, confused.

“Do what?” you ask, also trying to make yourself heard over thousands of people singing and loud music.

“Dance,” he explains. “I’m the worst dancer ever but all of the couples are doing it.”

You look around for the first time since the concert started and you confirm that Nico’s right. The few couples in the room were animatedly dancing with each other, laughing and kissing like people in love are constantly doing.

You take a deep breath and finish your beer in one go, leaving your now empty cup on the table next to you. You turn your body around, laughing when Nico offers you his hand like a gentleman would, and you grab it, twirling afterwards.

We're havin' an all-night revival

Someone call the women and someone steal the Bible

For the sake of my survival

Baptize me in a bottle of Beam, put Johnny on the vinyl

Nico told the truth when he said he didn’t know how to dance, but his enthusiasm for sure made up for it. You both laughed hard as you danced around each other, laughing even harder when Jack tried to join the two of you just to have Bastian pulling him back like he was a ragdoll.

Well, the Devil can scrap, but the Lord has won

And I'll talk to him on the rising sun

His son rose and mine did too

I was coming down, but now I'm talking to you

“He ‘talking about you!” You shout over the song, and he leans closer to you, holding you in place while his stubble scratches your temple.

“What?” he grins.

“‘The Devil’. He’s talking about you,” you joke, praying he’ll understand the pun.

“Oh, sure, baby, he ‘talking about me.”

Suddenly, he pulls you a little bit too hard and you stumble, putting your hands on his chest, looking for some kind of support while he keeps your feet on the ground with his hands on your waist.

You’re breathing hard, all the dancing exercises are finally catching up on you. You’re staring at his coffee-colored eyes, feeling his chest go up and down underneath your hands, his breathing hitting your forehead with how close you both were.

You’re so… close. And even though your heart is beating frantically inside your chest, you cannot help but feel some sort of rightness in the place you’re at right now. And it’s so wrong.

So, so wrong. So terribly wrong and hideous yet—

The clapping and shouts bring you back to where you’re supposed to be, reminding you of how you’re supposed to act, of what you’re supposed to be doing. And that definitely isn’t having your hands all over Nico’s chest and standing inches away from his mouth.

“Em—”

“I’m thirsty,” you interrupt him, wiping a non-exist drop of sweat from your forehead. “I’m gonna go grab a drink, okay?”

“I can go.” He starts moving, but you’re faster. Placing a light kiss on his cheek you tell him you’ll be right back and start walking towards the bar.

Thankfully, it was almost empty since the majority of the people in the room were enjoying the concert in the area closer to the stage, so when you ask for another beer you get it shortly after paying. You decide to sit on one of the stools before going back to where Nico and the rest of the boys were.

The cold, bitter drink sits perfectly on your tongue before you swallow, and you hum to one of the few songs you knew, taking the opportunity to organize your thoughts inside your head.

You didn’t know what the things you were feeling for Nico Hischier meant.

Well. Actually, you did.

But it couldn’t be it, right? He’s your friend. Also, he’s in love with another woman. Also, he’s Nina’s, your friend’s brother. Isn’t it against the friend's law to hook up with their family? Or anyone related to them in any way?

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite ex.”

You mutter a quiet ‘fuck’ before turning your head around, sighing because of course that, at a twenty thousand people, sold-out concert, you’d end up in the same room as your shitty ex from two years ago.

“Hi, Carl.” You don’t even try to sound nice, because in reality, you don’t want to.

“Hi, Emma. Didn’t expect to see you here,” he leans on the counter, his brown hair falling over his face, long and ugly. “Are you here by yourself?”

“Why is that any of your business?” You roll your eyes at him, getting off the stool and resuming your walk back. Sure, that’s what you would’ve done if Carl hadn’t grabbed your wrist, forcing you to stay in place. “What—”

“Come on, Emma, don’t play difficult,” he smiles widely and it makes you sick. “Look, I know it’s been a couple of years but… I miss you. I miss us.”

You scoff. “You should’ve thought about that before you screwed my fucking boss.”

“Oh, you’re still hurt about that,” he says like you’re someone who keeps talking about the same things over and over again and he’s the friend that has to keep listening to you. “I get it, it was wrong of me. But at least you have a better job now, right? Heard you’re working for the NHL now.”

You don’t try to hide your disgust.

“Where the hell did you ‘hear that’?” you try to remove your arm from his grip, unsuccessful. “Carl, let go of me.”

“Not until you hear me out—”

“Hear you out? You cheated on me—”

“—and understand that I was grieving my grandma’s death—”

“Your grandmother died when you were twelve!” you yell, pulling your wrist. “Carl, let go of my arm—”

“Is everything okay here?” Nico’s voice makes you turn your head around fast, watching as he frowns as he looks to where you and Carl were connected. “Baby?”

“Oh, so he’s why?” Carl hisses, forcing you to look back at him. “You’re his bitch now? That’s why you don’t want me back?”

“Carl—”

“Excuse me?” Nico steps closer to you, putting his hand on top of Carl’s and pulling it away from your arm in seconds, so effortlessly you have to keep the gasp that wants to leave your mouth safe inside. “Get your hands off my girlfriend right fucking now, who the fuck do you think you are?”

“I’m her ex-boyfriend—”

“Then I’ll ask again: who the fuck do you think you are?” Nico gently grabs your hand and moves your body until you stand behind him, his large body blocking almost entirely Carl’s frame. “Don’t fucking piss me off and leave right now.”

“Not until I talk to Emma.”

“Do not fucking say her name, you lost the right to do so. So, how is it going to be? You leave willingly or I punch you in the face?”

“Nico, no—” you whisper, placing your hand on his shoulder.

“Man, you know what? I’m gonna leave. She’s gonna come back crawling to me, and you’ll have to get your dick wet somewhere else.”

You only have time to place your cup on the counter before grabbing Nico’s hand and keeping him away from punching Carl’s face.

“He’s not worth it, baby,” the pet name left your mouth so naturally you don’t even notice it, but Nico definitely does. “Let’s go back, he’s just another asshole.”

Nico turns away and runs his eyes all over you, looking for something. Whatever he is, he doesn’t find it, so he just nods and mutters:

“Du arschloch.”

It makes you laugh, finally feeling all the tension leaving your body. “Yeah. That too.”

𖧷

“ARE YOU sure you’re okay?” Nico asks for the nth time, and you stop walking to look him in the eye.

“I already told you I’m fine. And all thanks to you.”

“I didn’t mean to make a scene,” he pouts, and you smile, cooing at him, wondering how good those lips must feel when—

No.

“You didn’t cause a scene, captain,” you playfully punch his shoulder. “And even if you did, it’s good, okay? Imagine the posts on Twitter: Nico Hischier, the captain of the New Jersey Devils, protects his little, defenseless girlfriend, Emma Roberts.”

“You’re not defenseless.” He laughs.

And I’m also not your girlfriend.

You laugh too.

“It was a fun night,” you sigh, walking towards your apartment door again. He walks by your side, and you hate the way it makes you feel safe. “Not doing it again though.”

“Yeah, me neither. One country music concert is enough for a lifetime.”

“Agreed.”

𖧷

emmaroberts

liked by jackhughes, jesperbratt, _connorbedard and 2,936 others

emmaroberts got to be a cowgirl for one night with these fellas right here

View all 130 comments

elladavis you’re so pretty!! miss the boys!

emmaroberts elladavis luke wasn’t with us tho

elladavis emmaroberts emma.

brooksnatalie you look so cute with your little hat baby :(

emmaroberts brooksnatalie can u move to new jersey already like i promise u it’s better than vancouver

_quinnhughes emmaroberts No. it’s not.

emmaroberts _quinnhughes shut up what are you? the mayor of vancouver city?

user2 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY SAVE A HORSE RIDE A COWBOY

nicohischier hat looks good on you

emmaroberts nicohischier thanks cap 🩷

jackhughes glad to say i was the best dancer in the arena

emmaroberts jackhughes grandma its okay go back to bed

user5 emma congrats you just caused world war 3 with this post on twt

user6 user5 I DONT HAVE TWITTER WHATS GOING ON

user5 user6 people are going crazy over some photo of emma and nico together at the concert like they’re hugging and shit and now they’ve been analyzing every interaction they’ve ever had to prove they’re together

user8 ARE YOU AND NICO A THING

𖧷

<next chapter>

[storywriter007]

Hi!! First off, I love your work. You are amazing. Okay so my request is basically I have two, both being Percy Jackson x reader comfort fics. Feel free to do one or both of neither!

1) Percy Jackson x reader where the reader has a lot of mental health struggles and is feeling very anxious and overwhelmed and overworked and dissociates a lot more than normal, but is bottling it all up from everyone and trying so hard to be okay and fine, even to her boyfriend Percy who can definitely tell something is off but doesn't want to push it. Maybe show some times he tries to get her to open up but she brushes him off. Then, she just breaks and has a panic attack and complete breakdown, and she ends up dropping something glass and cutting herself on it, and Percy finds her in the middle of it and helps her and comforts her and then they talk about it after.

2) This one is Percy Jackson x reader who gets seriously injured on the Argo II and tries to act like it's not that bad but then Percy (her boyfriend) forces her to let him look at it and it is really bad and he takes care of her and comforts her (kinda like the Leo fic where he cleans the wound on her back because I love that one so much), and then helps her fall asleep after.

Again feel free to do neither or both or just one, thank you so much I love your work!!

I've Got You - Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader

author's note: thank you for the requests! i will answer them in two seperate posts, this one is the first one you asked for!

author's note 2: i'm so glad you enjoy my work like you have no idea how much it means to me

warnings: cursing, self-doubt, reader is struggling mentally, mentions of blood

genre: fluff

word count: 1.2k

-> heroes of olympus masterlist

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send me requests here! (these are my guidelines)

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"are you okay?" a voice called out, replaying itself in the background.

y/n felt someone shake her and she snapped out of her daze.

"y/n." percy said, looking into her eyes. "are you okay? what's going on? you've been staring at the wall for the past ten minutes."

"nothing." she responded, unconvincingly.

percy gave her that look. like the one a mother gives her child when she catches them with their hand down the cookie jar.

"nothing!" she smiled, cheering up. "i'm fine, just a little tired."

"do you want to sleep in my cabin? maybe visit the hypnos cabin?" he proposed.

he was so sweet.

"no, no. i'm fine, just worn out." she lied. "i'm gonna take a nap."

"okay." he said, his voice doubtful.

he kissed the top of her head before leaving her cabin. as soon as she was alone, y/n's head dropped into her hands as she clutched her hair.

what is wrong with me her mind screamed.

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"are you sure you don't want to go to sleep?" percy asked, sitting on y/n's floor.

"for the hundreth time, yes percy, i'm fine." she said, starting to get annoyed.

she knows, he just cares about her, but she just couldn't right now.

"you don't have to do all of this in one day." he reminded. "all of this is due in a week."

a week isn't enough time her mind yelled.

"percy." she said, looking him in the eye. "i'm fine. i swear."

then she shot her that stupid look again.

"i'm fine!" she defended.

"okay, okay." he said. "i'm going to go to bed. stop by my cabin if you need anything."

now she felt bad. he was just looking out for her.

"i'm sorry." she smiled. "and i will. but trust me, i'm fine."

he gave her a smile back. but, it wasn't a good-luck or i-love-you smile. it was a you're-a-fucking-liar-and-i'll-leave-you-alone-but-i-don't-believe-you. percy left and y/n rested her head on her bunk as she looked up at the wood. tears fell from the corners of her eyes.

how was she going to do it? she felt like the world was on her back even more than usual.

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y/n stood in percy's cabin after he insisted that she spend the night with him. she picked up a picture frame that was on his nightstand. it was cute, it was a picture of him and y/n laying down in the new york snow.

she smiled, but a feeling of dread crept up on her as she clutched the glass.

you've got so much to do. you have such little time. i mean, you're a weak excuse of a demi-god. i mean, c'mon, who gets this stressed out? who zones out this much? percy doesn't deserve this. he deserves better. he needs better. he needs someone who isn't a borderline psycho. he's a hero. what are you? a wannabe. a parasite. he's going to leave you sooner or later. it's just a matter of time. oh are you going to cry now? you're such a fucking crybaby.

she dropped the glass. shards hit the floor as tears fell from her eyes. she held her knees to her chest and put her head in her bloody hand as she wept.

"y/n?" percy asked, shutting the door behind him.

"oh-oh my god, percy, i'm so so so sorry." she said, cleaning up the glass that had just shattered everywhere. "i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry."

"hey, it's okay." he smiled, dropping down next to her. "it's just a picture, i have it on my computer."

"no, no, i'm such an idiot. i'm so sorry." she said, hiding her teary eyes from him. "i can't do anything right."

"what? that's not true, don't say that."

"but it is true." she whispered, tears falling from her eyes.

"hey hey hey." he said, turning her face so she was forced to look at his sea green eyes. "i've got you."

she couldn't keep it in anymore. wells of tears fell from her eyes as she violently trembled. percy pulled her into him, placing her head on his chest. she wept into him as the familiar smell of salt-water flooded her nose.

"i've got you, it's alright." he said.

his voice was so soft and calming.

"i'm so so sorry." she breathed out. "i've been so mean to you and i, i broke your picture frame and now i'm bleeding all over you floor, and you probably hate me."

he backed up for a minute and looked down at her hands. they were covered in blood.

"it's okay, it's okay, don't worry about it." he said, kissing her forehead. "i've got you. c'mon, let's wrap this up."

he stood up, and basically picked her up so she would stand too.

"i don't want to go to the infirmary-"

"we don't have to." he assured. "let's wash the blood off, and i have gauze in here."

she felt like a baby as percy rinsed her hands off and wrapped the hurt one in gauze. she sat on his bunk as he carefully cleaned up the glass on the floor. after a few minutes, he sat down next to her. she just couldn't help it, tears started falling from her eyes.

he let her cry into him. he just ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head every now and then. he kept telling her that it was "alright" and that she was "okay" and that "he's got her." there was something about percy that made her feel so safe around him. maybe it was his soothing voice, or the way he smelled, or maybe it was his touch. whatever it was, it made hiding things from him draining. after half-an-hour, y/n's tears ran dry. she pulled back from percy's chest and looked up at him with red eyes.

"hey, i'm here, you're okay." he reassured, wiping her tears with his thumbs. "what's going on?"

he grabbed a water bottle and gave it to her. even he knew she was dehydrated after crying.

"i-i don't know." she sputtered. "i don't know. i've been in my own head. and i just keep feeling like i'm nothing but a screw up and a mess, and i'm so nervous for the next big quest. i-i can't. i feel like i'm just gonna lose you and i don't have enough time to figure it out. i just feel useless, like a failure whose just going to seal everyone's terrible fate."

"y/n." he paused. "you are the most capable, amazing, intelligent, kind, funny, beautiful, person i've ever met. you are more than enough. and you have time and if you can't get to things, so what? it's okay. and when the next big things happens, it happens."

she felt his firm hands around her arms, holding her tightly.

"and i'm not going anywhere." he reassured.

hearing him clear up all of the awful things her mind has been cramming into her head was cathartic.

"i'm sorry." she said, looking up at him. "i've been such a bitch to you when you were just trying to help-"

"don't worry about it. i knew you weren't doing well." he smiled. "it's alright now."

he bent down and kissed her. his arms wrapped around her upper-half as her arms wrapped around his neck. the kiss was slow and gentle. when they finally pulled away, y/n rested her head underneath his chin.

"i love you." she whispered.

"i love you more." he whispered back, kissing the top of her head.

[yyokkki]

Asking to Sketch Them

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle Rosehearts

Honestly a bit shocked you’d ask him

But he’s had practice from posing for family portraits, so he isn’t too nervous

Until you say you want the backdrop to be Heartslabyul’s garden

It doesn’t break any rules… but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t break any rules

He doesn’t collar people as often as he used to, but he still makes it a point to lecture rulebreakers on the importance of said rule

So imagine the strain on his face when Ace walks by with a vase full of roses and it’s Wednesday.

In the end Ace sits beside you while Riddle gives a long lecture, keeping the rest of his body perfectly still so it doesn’t interfere with your work

You are sweating in fear. 6/10 a good model but it’s hard to draw when your model is half yelling at the dude sitting right next to you

Trey Clover

Might hesitate to say yes because he’s a busy guy,,

I mean they have tea parties like everyday and he’s always in charge of sweets-

You say he can go about his business and that you’re going to capture him in his natural habitat then he agrees

Raises an eyebrow cuz you make it sound like you’re on national geographic but ok

Anyways you’re drawing him while he’s baking and damnnn those biceps pop when he’s whisking

Secretly, however, he’s been holding back for a while now/

When you’re least expecting it he comes closer to you… and bam whipped cream on the side of your face

Devolves into flour tossing and chaos

6/10 you got whipped cream on your sketchbook and it was half finished but it was a fun memory

Cater Diamond

“OMS YAY of course ;DD”

Internally screaming because his makeup isn’t that good today and why him I mean there are better looking people in nrc and maybe he can get his clone to do it instead-

Overthinker fr

He’s a bit stiff at first, trying to only show his good side and checking his camera constantly to see if his smile looks good

If you’re close and you start talking to him about something he’s passionate about while you’re sketching he’ll loosen up a bit and his pose becomes a lot more natural

Eventually forgets you’re even drawing him and now it’s just him showing his true colours

Takes a pic of your finished sketch along with the both of you and posts it on magicam #muse #artistbestie

8/10 the sketch turned out well and you had a nice chat 

Deuce Spade

Has never been asked this question in his life

Boy is so stiff and awkward pls baby

He smiles like Oga from Beelzebub at first

Pls pls pls get this boy to do something else while you’re drawing him to get him to relax

Might be studying across the table from you while having a nice chat

Forgets you’re drawing him eventually pt.2

Tbh moves around a lot especially if a senior enters the room cuz he makes it a point to turn around and greet them while standing up

Is a bit surprised when you say you’re done because shit I forgot and I moved so much im sorry-

Also takes a picture of the sketch

Texts his mom the pic “I made a really good friend who’s great at drawing :D”

Will ask if you can draw a portrait of him and his mom together when you get the chance (will pay for it he just doesn’t know about the concept of commissions TT)

4/10 he’s so precious but not the best model tbh id still ask him again idc

Ace Trappola

Little shit (affectionate)

Not hard to make him agree but boy will he give you shit for it “my face is just that handsome ig” “you want me to get nude?” someone kiss him and make him shut up

At first he’s making a bunch of dumb faces and exaggerated poses and once he determines that you’re sufficiently annoyed he starts actually posing normally

Might get up halfway through and start stretching or laying down cuz he got tired though

Depending on how late he slept the night before and if you’re keeping quiet so he doesn’t get the chance to tease you, he might fall asleep

His sleeping face is cute so it works out for you ehe

When you’re done he acts all non chalant and smug about it but inside he’s sooo happy damn tsundere

Asks if he can draw you next and draws a potato with three dots on it <3

2/10 its only easy when he falls asleep but he’s cute so ill give him 1 extra point

-----

Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

Graphic design is not my passion dear lord i really need to read a guide on how to format tumblr posts TT

Also first time writing omg depending on my mood next part will either be out tomorrow or next month see yall

[body-face-words]

DT/GT

Video sent by @ingravinoveritas !

Quick 9 second video of David and Georgia posing for the press.

First lets go with what they are saying:

"I want you to ????" I think he said smile, but I could be wrong.

"I know."

For pictures, David always slants down to Georgia. He put his hand on her back, and she stays standing upright without touching him, leaving her arms by her side.

David has his picture smile as he speaks to Georgia.

Georgia, before she answers, her smile looks asymmetrical. Obviously forced because pictures are being taken, but more in a sneer. Her right upper lip is raised and her right cheek is also puffed out. Compared to the Film Awards, she doesn't seem happy.

A sneer means contempt, disgust, disobedience/disrespect to authority figure, or feeling of superiority. In this case, I would say she's annoyed at David or in some way tired of him. In an early post, we could see how she was being left behind and no attention was being put on her.

After she says 'I know' she snaps her head to her left, away from David. Maybe to move her hair and go back to the press. Snapping of the head is also anger. When something is said or we see something we don't like, some snap their heads to the opposite side to not look at what cause our anger. She raises her right hand as she speaks, emphasizing she does already know what to do. "You don't have to tell me that. I already know what to do."

In visibly inhales. Reasons for that is loss of air, because she felt David inhale (we tend to copy others around us unconsciously) or to calm herself.

At the end she licks her lips. There are many reasons why people lick their lips. In this instance she could have done it to calm herself down. When agitated, we feel our lips/mouth dry so we lick our lips. She also turns her head and put her left hand on her waist, raising her shoulder, to show empowerment.

David, when Georgia answers, his smile becomes longer. It goes more horizontal, not up. Again, both have forced smiles for the cameras.

He continues looking forward while smiling. He inhales a second before Georgia does. Same reasons as above; lack of air or to calm himself down.

As the second go by, his horizontal smile starts to fall.

Overall, they're both in their own world and not so content with each other. Being stiff for pictures isn't out of the ordinary, but compared to the Film Awards, they are much colder towards each other. I don't think their face are because the sun is hitting them. Their in the shade so that wouldn't make sense. Georgia is being ignored, more than before, and David is most likely aware of this.

[jackwhiteprophetic]

Okay so I don't usually go into asks, so l'm sorry if this isn't the correct etiquette (its not rlly an ask, more of a anti-bt rant), BUT the amount of bt truthers on my feed recently have been pissing me off, and then I saw this one post that said,

"honestly i love tommy not entertaining their shovel talk with any serious answers, he's like yeah this is my relationship with my adult bf who wants me so im gonna go eat my cake now (double entendre)"

Which??? I don't even know what to say.

honestly i love Tommy not entertaining their shovel talk with any serious answers

Shovel talk?? You mean them asking legitimate questions on his intentions with their friend, who they care about??? who they're protective over??? who's dating a guy that in the past was both racist and misogynistic??? Who treated hen terribly when she joined the 118???

Idk about some people but I'd def hold a grudge 💀??

And it's the way he's not even TRYING. Like they said, not entertaining their questions with any serious answers. he's just making poorly landing jokes (that apparently his cult following chalks up as sass????) and being so dismissive of everything they say.

"I'm wearing a medal" dear god I hated him before that clip but the way he was acting made me hate him even more and gave me SO MUCH of an ick.

It's the way his following are following him so blindly? That they can't see that he wasn't being sassy he was being a sarcastic little shit who doesn't know how to read the room. Henren are trying to look out for their friend who this asshat is dating and he can't even bring himself to try to assure them that he's good for buck.

Idk I think I might've gotten a bit off topic but bt stans are so aggravating???? I've been called 'delusional' by so many people in this fandom who used to be buddie shippers but converted as soon as Buck was kissed by another guy.... And I've seen so many bt shippers be like 'Oh, yeah, I used to be in that sub fandom, I know how annoying and pushy they are'. I'm SO tired of the infighting, and the sudden shitting on Eddie that's going on ever since Tommy reentered the picture. And I'm so tired of THEM thinking that bt will be endgame because it's Buck's first relationship with a man and Bobby gave his approval. They don't care about Buck. I saw another post the other day talking about how 'Evan Buckley better not break Tommy Kinard's soft gentle heart or they're gonna have words'. Atp all they care about is Lou/Tommy. 

Hello!!! Anyone is always welcome to send me asks especially just to rant, I don't end up responding to all of them because I don't want to only focus on Tommy or BT shippers because there are lots of other less aggravating things to talk about, but I saw the same post and I had the same thoughts and I will say I find it incredibly frustrating how some people have praised Tommy for that scene.

Because I think he should be a lot more ashamed of how he treated Hen, and I think if he understood the weight of his ignorance/outright bigotry on her in the past, he would be a lot more receptive of the fact that obviously she feels protective over her friend in this situation. The fact is, the characters of Gerrard and Tommy were written in S2 to show how fucking dangerous workplace bigotry is. They're firefighters. Try telling me that Tommy would have fought as hard to get Hen from a burning building than a white male teammate. Do we think that this extended to the public? When Gerrard was probably evacuating crew members from burning houses earlier than he would for white neighbourhoods, do we think Tommy stood up and said "no, I'm an ally and I say this is wrong, we should fight just as hard for every life". Or did he sit there like a fucking coward and think about cars or boxing or something? I don't have much more to add because I fucking hate the character so much and I am quite disgusted by the white people who excuse this or look past it. You should feel more shame and Tommy should show he is fucking ashamed of his actions and at least show Hen some fucking respect. Tommy should take Hen seriously because his actions had fucking serious real life consequences.

Anyway thank you for the ask!!! My ask box is always open for people to rant and I will always read them!! I'm very much limiting how much I talk about that character BC I am trying to focus more on positive stuff, but if anyone would like to message me ranting about him or any 911 thing I am always available!!!

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

The beauty🌹 of Shadamy

Isn't it just wonderful how my dear Amy Rose gets paired romantically with every Sonic Rival in the fandom? Even Blaze! And fortunately not much with Jet 😂😂 My favorite one obviously is Shadamy, followed by Surgamy and finally with Metal Sonic but seriously, to me nothing beats THE Shadamy❤🖤🩷.

So the BEST thing about this ship to me is that it was born out of a single interaction 😆 and I don't mean the moment she colorblinded mistook him for Sonic and hugged him nooooope I mean the moment she reminded him about Maria Robotnik's 🥺 true wish by giving him a similar speech of hope and second chances and after that he said: I have to fufill my promise for Maria... And you... Me after seeing that👇👇

(Funny this gif, casually she was also fangirling about a... SHAMY 🤣🤣 only the ones who know the show will get it)

Seriously, is fascinating how popular this ship became of that single interaction that led fans to write a HUGE amount of fanfiction of them and is always so romantic or so passionate or so angsty God I never get tired of it, one of my favorite portrayals of Shadamy is when Shadow is kind of a emo simp towards her, like he is simply adoring her even when she only looks at Sonic who is not looking at her 😭... Ah drama. 😂 I remember a few stories back when I was a pre teen... Like "el blog de Amy Rose" That's the only written fanfic name I remember and it was a total soap opera, a total and absolute telenovela full of all kinds of drama like Silver was their son and Sonic and Shadow were lost brothers 😂. Then I remember I few comics like Ternion that was an insanely passionate and angsty story with an excellent art that to contribute to my torture it was never finished... And boy I know the author had a secret smut chapter that she never posted anywhere... We know it exists because there were a few hot scenes in a video... 😭 but never happened the story didn't even reach half of what I think it was going to be🥲. In Chaos universe there's a double story in one Sonic and Amy had a daughter named Sonia but in an alternative universe we have María Rose who is Shadow and Amy's daughter... Is another tragedy were Amy is dead in both universes 😭 and of course I'm totally biased with Maria Rose's universe because the way her dad remember Amy's just hits different, seriously is way more enjoyably painful 🥲 and then the most current comics I'm addicted to of course IDOL AMY portrayed Shadow exactly how I said I like him the most 🥺 and the last one I saw is one apocalyptic where obviously Shadow survives and mourns a dead Amy: Future's Shadow... Girl this hedgehog can't catch a break they like to see him suffer 🥲🥲🥲

Now let's focus in the official interactions:

The Archie comics before the reboot kinda mistreated Amy portraying her in an annoying way most of the time just like in some games... And I wasn't a fan of a certain interaction she had with Shadow... (Those issues had a bitchy evil Rouge portrayal that I didn't like one bit🤬) I mean shadow actually kicks her in the stomach and hits her with her own hammer and... That just felt so wrong, you see I can't picture an scenario where Shadow would lay a hand on Amy in such a way as he did in those comics but I had a little comfort in this interaction at least 👇👇

She puts her faith on him when he doesn't have much faith on himself and that is something she also did in the games, like in Shadow the hedgehog own game. Then there was a reboot and we got better interactions, here we have Amy teasing him and he pouting adorably (and finally they dropped the Rouge is a bitch portrayal thank you😤)

We also see that they can make a good team

Hey Shadow how it feels to be hammered by her? 🤭😇, then we had the marvelous IDW reboot but we still don't have proper interactions (and this is the best Rouge💜)

Though honesty? This look like a romance novel scene... You know, with the bad boy being stubborn with the kind sweet girl 😂. Well Sonic IDW is still ongoing so we'll see if we get something more juicy... But I think I will be happy if they simply team up in a fight again.

And now let's talk about Twitter... Well, well, well have you noticed this tiny details in Sonic's Twitter takeovers? Someone asked "Shadow, will you marry me? " And they made Amy voice be the one reading that question 🧐, not only that the things Shadow described about what he wants in a partner for marriage were things that Amy totally would do perfectly (and to add some spice they made Sonic voice sound kind of upset to tease us with some sonadow too😂😂) and then the most precious and hilarious thing... SHADOW AND AMY ARE BOTH SWIFTIES 😆😆

And look! He got her ticket's 😭😭 and they went together!!! 😭😭😭(that's a DATE) and then in another Twitter takeover she tells about how they had fun and got shirts and then Sonic got jealous 😭😭😭 KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and look what SEGA IS DOING 👇👇👇

Pop Star Amy and Rock Star Shadow I can't... 😭😭 and paladin Amy and knight Shadow AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY MATCH!!!!!

I'm telling you... Sonic team is indulging us with oficial Sonamy but they are also shamelessly teasing us with SHADAMY (and sonadow juju)

And seriously fellow comic artists, feel free to keep drawing Shadamy comics forever... We don't get tired... 😇 and SEGA... Don't be shy... We conform with little teasing details you don't have to confirm or deny anything but for future games... A little Shadamy won't hurt 🥺🙏, we want Shadamy in games too! IDW that goes for you too... If you are teasing Sonamy and Sonadow you can tease Shadamy too! (And Knouge too! 😫)

And all this reminds me that we should demand SEGA to reboot the Sonic Adventure games with new modern animation and also so it's playable in modern consoles! I want to play it with the Nintendo Switch!! 😤😤😤

[imthetunnelunderoceanblvd]

innocence loss

【Quaritch/Reader】

warnings: mini bad plot, breeding kink, physical abuse, choking, oral sex, unprotected sex, slut shaming, rape/non-con., sub!reader, dom!quaritch, vaginal sex, virgin reader, clit fucking?, smut, degration, begging, crying. that’s all i guess.

reminder: don’t like don’t read.

in which: quaritch wants to rob your innocence

a/n: first time posting smut lol.

i do not own any of the pictures i used in this fic, i found them on pinterest. they belong to whoever made/posted them

walking through the forest was an injured quaritch, his face was bloody, he had cuts all over his body, his ikran was tired of flying for days, quaritch had no idea that there was a pair of yellow eyes staring at him until he heard a yell and an exruciating pain on the back of his neck and his vision turned black.

“oh! you’re awake, you’ve been sleeping for days,” he heard a soft voice next to him, he turned his head and saw you, your adorable doe eyes looking down at him, he took in your soft face features, memorizing them, burying them deep deep down in his memories. “who are you,” he said but it came out as a growl “i’m y/n, i actually hit you on the head with a rock i was going to take you to the clan so they can kill you but then i decided against it because you were injured,” you spoke fastly and he chuckled “what’s your name?” he closed his eyes and sighed and snorted “miles, miles quaritch.”

from that day on you started visiting him everyday, it took you a while to pronounce his name right, you grew a lovely friendship, which brings you to these events, you walking around the forest with quaritch.

“do you have any kids?” you asked him and looked at his side profile “yes. yes, i do, why?” he hummed and you shook your head “nothin’ just wondering, do you have a mate?” you narrowed your eyes at him which earned you a chuckle from him he shook his head “no,” he mumbled under his breath, and kept walking trying to ignore you.

you yet asked another question which, clearly, annoyed him “why are you asking so many questions?” he sighed and you hummed biting your lower lip “i don’t know? i mean you’re different, and i wanna know about you? i guess? i don’t know,” you said in all honesty “well, there’s nothin’ you gotta know ‘bout me, except that i’m an ol’ man,” you gasped “that’s insane, you don’t look old, anyways as i was saying.” you said and continued your conversation about how bad you’d love to find your mate on day, sick, twisted, and a dark idea washed over quaritch “what if we mate right here, right now,” he asked and you giggled thinking that he’s joking but your giggling quickly stopped when you saw that his face was turned in your direction.

“what?” you asked smiling “you’re very pretty you know,” he replied. you didn’t know what he meant by that. quaritch began to walk towards you. starting to sense something was wrong, you slowly backed away with each step he took. until your back was pressed against the tree.

with every second passing, quaritch found it harder and harder to hold back. everything about you was so innocent. he was burning with lust, and he wanted you to burn with him. his dick was rock hard, straining against his cammies, his body ready to take you right then and there.

“what are you doi-”

not wasting another second, quaritch shovined you against the tree. you tried to tell him to stop, but was your voice was quickly muffled by his lips latching into yours like a leech, he kissed you roughly, his hands touching every inch on your body, nose bumping into your cheek, his spit mixing with yours. your hands shot to his chest trying to push him off of you, but he was quick to grabbing both your wrists and pinning them above your head. you squirmed under him, and he smiled against your lips, his canines biting down on your lip. your face started turning pruple as your air ways were cut and you couldn’t breathe. the strong scent of sweat on him only made everything worse. after a few minutes of turture, he finally pulled his face away from yours, and you took this opportunity to gasp in air. before you could say anything, quaritch hushed you with his finger on your lip.

“hey, just breathe,” he cooed, his hand on your cheek rubbing softly, trying to calm you down and brushed a piece of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear and smirked. “don’ worry, you’re in good hands, sweetheart. i’m gon’ make ya feel real nice and good, gonna take care of ya,”

you tried pushing him again, but ceased all actions when he shoved his knee between your legs. “stop it, please, don’t touch me! please stop!” you screamed. “no ones goin’ anywhere,” he had a stern look on his face. you gasped when he suddenly grabbed you by the arm and threw you onto the ground.

he quickly climbed on top of you, pinning you down. you continued to struggle, but all your no, please, and stops sounded more like a challenge to him than pleas. he ground into you and you felt something hard press against your crotch. he groaned, feeling the friction between his hard cock and the rough material of his cammies as he rubbed his erection against you. unable to bear the pain in his crotch anymore, he unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his cammies in a rush, not even bothering to take them off, pinned both your arms against the ground with a single hand, the other moving your loincloth to the side revealing your folds, the same hand moved over to your chest ripping your top off.

“no, please. please stop, i don’t wanna do this,” you sobbed, unknowing that your pathetic attempt to plead mercy only turned him on even more. he parted your lips using his index and ring fingers and pressed his middle to your opening, he hummed at the tightness, he was right. you were a virgin, just like he had thought. he pressed his bare cock against your pussy and it throbbed at your words, ready to change all that. he looked at you, with wide eyes, at the feeling of your wet cunt. tears ran down your face covering your cheeks making them wet while he rubbed himself up and down your folds, coating his cock in your juices.

“i don’t think your body wants me to stop, does it?” he hummed. You looked away in shame. he lowered his head until he was right next to your ear. his shaved sides tickling your cheeks, his piercing yellow eyes flashing with hunger. “look how fucking wet you are for me, and i’ve barely done anything.” he made a tsk sound. “looks like you’re nothin’ but a dirty slut, ain’t that right sweetheart?” he chuckled

“no,” you choked out. you couldn’t believe it. you were about to get raped right in your own home, the same ground you walked on when you were a child, by a man who’se life you saved.

he rubbed against your folds one more time, the tip of his dick hitting your clit, making you arch your back, before sliding the tip in your entrance. he grunted at the tightness of your cunt, yet your insides seemed to suck him in.

he agonizingly forced himself inside and groaned when he finally bottomed out, feeling how your velvety walls pulsed around his throbbing cock. you began to cry from how bad the stretching burned. despite your wetness, his length and girth made it painful, and on top of all that, he didn’t wait a second for you to adjust, immediately pounding into you.

“please, stop,” you whispered. but it had already been done. he had taken your virginity, robbed you of your innocence. no one would ever want you now, if they knew of all the dirty things quaritch had done to you.

he felt as if all the stamina he’d built all these years had been undone as soon as he felt how tight your cunt was.

“you feel that, princess?” he moaned into your ear pressing on the bulge in your stomach “do you feel how good i’m makin’ you feel? yeah that’s right. that cunt of yours belongs to me now. ain’t no na’vi gon’ make ya feel that way,” you continued to struggle, you kept pushing him in a deseprate attempt to get him off of you. “fuck! yeah do that again.. do just that,” he said as you accidentally tightened your walls around him he groaned again, and you felt his cock twitch. “i’m close, dolly. yeah, jus keep squeezin’ me. just like that. fuckkkk, yeah,” he groaned and your eyes widened when you realized what he said.

“no, please, please don’t do it inside, please no” you whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks. “i can’t, please, miles, i can’t get pregnant, please, don’t,” you whisper-begged.

“what if i want to impregnate you? huh? fill you up with my seed, the way your body would change because of me? be my kids mother?” he teasingly asked, smirking.

“no, please,” you begged. you looked at him with wide eyes, praying to eywa that he would have mercy. “please, please, please...”

he sighed, your begging started to annoy him. if he really wanted to finish inside of you, then he will, and you were going to take it, cause there’s nothing you could do about it. he suddenly pulled out of you with a wet pop. he got up and stood on the ground. “on your knees,” you obeyed like a good puppy, thanking eywa that he’d decided not to cum inside you. “open your mouth,” he ordered and you opened your mouth.

he shoved his entire length down your throat in a single thrust, making you gag and choke. he thrusted into your mouth a couple more times before he shoved his cock down one last time, groaning loudly. ropes of thick, hot cum shot down your throat, forcing you to gag “swallow. don’t waste a single fuckin’ drop,” he said as his dick stayed rock hard inside your mouth

you tried to be good and swallow, but it was too much. his cum tasted salty and disgustingly warm, and before you caught yourself, you spat out a mouthful. the substance dripped onto your tits and belly. you quickly covered your mouth, horrified. slowly, you turned to look up at him, but before your eyes could meet his you were being pulled closer to him until you were just inches from him.

“what did i just say? huh?” he barked in your face. “can’t even follow simple instructions. such a disgusting stupid slut.”

“i’m sorry - i - i didn’t mean to. i swear,” you whimpered. he pushed you back onto the ground and you landed on your back with a thud, the rough ground underneath you hurting your sensetive queue

“in that case,” he said stroking his dick “if you have trouble keeping my cum down in your throat,” he looked at you “i’ll just fuck it into your pussy,” he smiled a very sick smile

“no please don-”

before you could finish, he forced himself inside you again. you screamed, your cunt now extremely sensitive, not fully recovered from last time.

your eyes widened as his hands gripped your neck, his hand went down to your belly scooping the sticky liquid with his fingers “open your mouth,” he said and you, once again, obeyed, he shoved his fingers inside your mouth and hummed as your tongue licked up the substance.

his hand snaked between your legs and began toying with your clit, you gasped as he rolled the bundle of nevres between his fingers, pinching it, and rubbing tight circles with his thum on it. no one had ever touched you like this. mot even yourself. when he noticed the way your body reacted, he accelerated his motions, pounding his cock into you harder and faster, the tip of his dick kissing at your cervix making your back arch. you desperately tried to hold back all the noises, but still he forced a moan out of you. his chest swelled with pride. it really stroked his ego to know that even an alien - a pretty one - he forced to have sex with him couldn’t help but be pleasured by him. although by this point, could you even deny that some deep, twisted part of you liked this? liked being pinned down, forced to take him as he did whatever he wanted to you, as he treated you like a toy? you were desperatley waiting for him to touch you everywhere.

you moaned again when his tip hit that oh so sweet spot inside you, a pained whimper followed after as he kept abusing that spot.

“look at you, moaning like a slut all for me, hard to believe that just moments ago you were beggin’ me to leave you, alone,” he tsked. you let out a half moan, half sob. the palm of his hand landed directly on your face “quiet, slut.” he hissed. you shook your head, crying silently. “how would your future mate react if he knew what you were doing right now? his lovely, well bhaved mate moaning like a slut all because of a sky demon?”

he repositioned himself, now thrusting at a different angle, rapidly hitting that spot inside you that made you feel something you’ve never felt before. he enjoyed watching your face twist in confusion and pleasure “what if your parents heard you and came all the way here? huh? theyre gonna find their sweet, innocent little girl all spread eagle on the ground, taking my cock like a good little whore,” you sobbed in fear of that scenario. he nibbled at your ear, making you squeal. he slapped you again. “shut the fuck up, slut.”

his eyes landed on your tits and he let out a loud groan at the sight of your boobs bouncing slightly with every thrust he made. He grabbed at them, kneading them roughly in his large hands. you clenched around him even tighter in discomfort, but that only made it more pleasurable for him. he reached down again, rubbing at your clit and increased his pace. you gritted your teeth, trying to hold back this strange, unfamiliar feeling, but he stubbornly kept going. you climaxed with a loud moan, your entire body shaking as surges of pleasure and guilt rocked through you. quaritch’s face came closer to your boobs, he sucked hard on your nipple while pinching your other nipple, you slapped your hands against your mouth muffling your cries. you suddenly tightened your walls around him, legs wrapped around his torso as his pelvis slapped over your very oversensitive clit with every thrust.

he groaned “fuck yeah, keep squeezing me like that and you’re goin’ to make me cum. i’ll shoot it nice and deep inside you, and you’re going to take it all this time, right doll?”

you nodded, not even fully listening to what you just agreed to. you didn’t even care anymore, too with the pleasure that coated your brain, even if you told him not to, he’d just do it. thrusting as deep as he possibly could, he stilled, his eyes shut and mouth wide open as he threw his head back and released “fuck,” he groaned, his breath hitching, you could literally feel his cock pump load after load of hot cum, right against your cervix, he threw his head back as he sank in the euphoric ocean his climax provided.

part of you didn’t want to believe that someone like quaritch would do something so violating. but part of you was also happy, you’ve always dremt about having kids of your own. you closed your eyes as you felt his hand reach for your queue, conecting your queue with him. the very thrill of cumming inside you was enough to prolong his orgasm, his cock throbbing and releasing again and again.

it felt so satisfying to ruin you, to force you to orgasm for the first time. it was a horrible, guilty memory that would forever haunt you, reminding you of who was really your first whenever you had any intimate moment with someone you truly loved.

when he was finally done, he pulled halfway out, and you felt his cum began to leak down your ass. but he was quick to push it all back in, thrusting hard a couple more times, as if to fuck his seed as deep into you as possible. when he was satisfied, he tucked himself back into his pants, and walked away from you, leaving you laying lifeless on the ground as you’re drained of your pure soul.

you were being consumed alive, the scene keeps replaying in your mind, his odor ligering all over your body.

pov: me when quaritch 😩🕯️🛐

my requests r open if u’d like to request sumth

likes, comments, and reblogs r appreciated. <3

[smileydk]

Road Trip + Neck kisses

Pairing: Non-Idol!Wooyoung x Best-Friend!OC

Summary: Jiwoo's best friend, Wooyoung, decides to shoot his shot with his friend, who he's been in love with since they were 10. Only he doesn't know the feelings are mutual + 99-liners and reader are 19, Jongho is 18 and the 98-liners are 20

Note: I kind of spiraled in the end and added… a proposal! Yay… 😁… and to everyone who got tagged. I sincerely apologize :) I needed to make up some usernames for the end…

cw/tw: hickeys, hints towards sex, kisses, make-out session.

''Jiwoo, you're in the back since you're... tiny'' Yunho stated as he was quick to sit down in the driver's seat.

''Fuck you'' She pouted.

Mingi was given the passanger seat since he was the tallest after Yunho. San, Yeosang and Jongho sat down in the row behind them. Seonghwa and Hongjoong sat in the second middle row, the seat between them being filled with snacks. This only left the last row to Jiwoo and Wooyoung, and the luggage.

''Why do we have so much luggage? We're going camping for two days'' Jiwoo asked as she took her seat in Wooyoung's lap.

''Because someone-'' Hongjoong shot a pointed look at San. ''-needed to bring his whole bathroom with him for two days in the forest''

Jiwoo chuckled at San as he looked very offended by the comment.

'' You’re just jealous because my hair’s better than yours! Don't come crying ot me when you wake up tomorrow and look like… you!''

Jiwoo’s laughter continued as the two bickered. Her laughter faded as Wooyoung's arm snuck around her waist as some kind of seatbelt.

''Tell me if I'm too heavy and I'll sit on San's hair products'' Jiwoo mumbled quietly as her breath caught in her throat.

''You weigh literally nothing'' The man replied and leaned back, pulling his friend with him.

As Jiwoo sat leaned against Wooyoung's stomach, she couldn't help but blush as she felt his abs pressing against her lower back.

Sure, the man wasn't ridicolously fit, but he was just enough. And Jiwoo, personally, prefered Wooyoung's physique over some super fit muscle man.

Since the ride to the forest was almost four hours, most of the guys had fallen sleep. Yunho was currently surviving on caffein and Mingi's constant chatter about... different things each minute, but mostly about how tired he was.

''Mingi, for god's sake! If you're tired, sleep instead of annoying me'' Yunho snapped as he turned onto a smaller road.

There was still another two hours left to the drive and Yunho did not wanna listen to Mingi's chatter anymore.

Jiwoo, who wasn't tired at all, chuckled at their bickering. She couldn’t judge them. They lived together and now they were locked into a car together for four hours. They were bound to snap at some point.

Yunho's snapping however proved to be very effective on the man as he fell silent. A moment later his head fell against the car window and snores were heard.

The only ones awake were Jiwoo, Yunho and Wooyoung. Yunho was very focused on the road since it was very small. Well, you couldn't even call it a road, it was a small gravel path, and the car was hired. Meaning he couldn't damage it at all, or it'll cost him.

Wooyoung wrapped both his arms around Jiwoo even tighter as the road became more wiggly, since she didn't have a seatbelt. And because he knew the other guys would kill him if he let the girl die, especially her brother Seonghwa.

Jiwoo was scrolling through instagram, pouting to herself as her feed consisted of her other freinds and their partners. Some more appropriate than others.

Her best friend, Ara, had posted a picture of her neck filled with hickeys, as well as her boyfriends lips still attached to her neck.

''Neck kisses from my boo are the best''

She liked the post and opened the comments. She chuckled as most of her single friends had commented. Mostly about how jealous they were. Jiwoo decided to be petty and copy them.

''Ara, you're making the rest of us jealous! You can only share this with your taken friends!

It only took a minute before Ara had replied to the comment.

''Come on Jiwoo~ don't be jealous, just find a good guy and ask! I recommend Wooyoung since you've been in love with him for like 8 years!''

Jiwoo sighed and chuckled. She liked the comment and turned her phone off.

Wooyoung, whose head rested on Jiwoo's shoulder, raised an eyebrow as he read the comments. Sure, it wasn't nice looking at others phones, but they were talking about him after all. He must have had some kind of right to spy, right?

Yunho took a peek in the rearview mirror and smirked. He re-angled it and turned his focus back to the road.

''So, you like neck kisses, eh?'' Wooyoung chuckled as he leaned back.

''Yah, don't read my odd comments!'' Jiwoo pouted and put her phone in the pocket on the back of the seat in front of her.

As she leaned forward Wooyoung let out a hiss. ''Don't do that''

''What?'' Jiwoo was completely clueless. She wasn't even pretending to be innocent, she didn't understand.

''Don't move around so much~'' He wrapped his arms back around her waist and held her in a firm grip

''Wha- oh'' She blushed as she felt exactly why he whined.

He laid his head back on her shoulder. His lips were right by the girl's ears. ''Wanna try out the neck kisses?'' He ran his nose along her neck, smirking as she shuddered and goosebumps grew on her skin.

Jiwoo didn't know what to do. Sure, she'd been in love with the man for eight years, but she was a little unsure of what they could start since she didn't want to wreck their friendship.

They had always been a flirty duo. Pick-up lines, teasing, perverted jokes.

She was slightly impressed that he kept his cool and didn't jump at the chance. ''Come on, Princess~ I need an answer''

''Such a gentleman'' She patted his cheek. ''Sure, if you want to''

Wooyoung let out the breath he was holding and pressed a light kiss to Jiwoo's neck.

Jiwoo was embarrassed as she let out a small sigh of satisfaction. Her hand flew up to silence her sounds.

The sigh however only encouraged Wooyoung's kisses. He continued pressing kisses to her neck wherever he could reach. Jiwoo tilted her head slightly, giving Wooyoung more access to her neck.

Wooyoung's cocky smirk only grew as her body responded to his action. He pushed her hair to the side and continued leaving kisses all over her neck and throat.

The girl's eyes widened as she could feel him slowly getting more frisky and confident.

She put her index finger in her mouth and bit down as he started sucking and nibbling slightly on her neck. ''Fuck~''

''Yunho's never gonna let us live this down'' Wooyoung mumbled as he removed his lips from Jiwoo's neck. He smiled at his art piece.

''No he is not! And he will tell all of their friends and the girl’s brother, so that they will tease them as well'' Yunho replied from the driver's seat.

Jiwoo chuckled and leaned back, resting her head on Wooyoung's shoulder. ''You look so good in black hair'' She mumbled and ran her hand through his newly black-dyed hair.

''Do you mean my oreo hair was ugly?'' Wooyoung raised an eyebrow, knowing very well that wasn't what she meant, but he was a born tease.

''No, but your black hair makes you much more sexy- I don't know why'' Jiwoo smiled and ran her thumb along his jawline. She allowed her hand to continue down his neck before going back up.

''That tickles'' Wooyoung whined.

''Sorry''

She however continued tracing the boy. Her fingers reached his lips and she smiled. ''Oh my god, you have a mole on your lip'' She smiled and took a closer look.

''I know'' Wooyoung chuckled at her excitement. He wondered how she’d never seen it before. He grabbed her hand and kissed her index finger.

''And one here'' She smiled and poked the mole under his left eye.

''Stop it, it tickles'' Wooyoung continued whining.

''So... this tickles as well?'' Jiwoo smirked and leaned closer and copied what he'd done earlier, running her nose along his neck.

''Yes, but not in the same way'' He shuddered.

''And what about... this?'' She pressed a light kiss to his neck.

Wooyoung sighed. The kiss was too light for his satisfaction. He wanted her to paint his neck, much like he'd done to hers.

Jiwoo seemed to have understood the sigh as she pressed another kiss to his neck. She chuckled to herself as she could feel his arms tightening around her waist.

She only took it as encouragement.

She continued leaving kisses all over his neck, occasionally leaving a hickey. Jiwoo smirked to herself as he whined quietly.

As her lips left the boy's neck she, much like he'd done previously, smiled at her art piece.

''Damn, I should be an artist''

Jiwoo smiled as she just held Wooyoung's face in her hands, admiring the man. She ran her thumbs over his high cheekbones.

As her eyes travelled across his face they stopped on his lips. ''You really need some chaptstick'' She dug through her pocket and found one. ''Pout''

Wooyoung chuckled and did as he was told. Jiwoo held his jaw in a soft, yet firm grip, as she applied the chapstick. She finished and put the chapstick back in her bag.

''I think you need some as well'' Wooyoung mumbled before grabbing her neck and pulling her in for a real kiss.

At first shock took over her body. But as soon as the shock faded away she kissed back. None of them could help the dorky smiles that grew on their lips as they kissed.

They both had been waiting for this for almost 10 years.

Wooyoung pulled away and smiled sweetly. ''After our little camping trip I'm taking you on a real date, princess''

''That I'll hold you to''

❤️ 💬 ↗️

Liked by @j.wy_official and 2 298 749 others

@p.jw_notofficial: To quote Ara, Neck kisses from my boo are the best

@j.yh_official: We’ve been waiting for eight years! It’s about time

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ shut up! You did not!

@p.sh_official: not something I needed to see nor know…

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ well, brother dearest, feel free to block me anytime 💋💋💋

@k.hj_official: never make out in the car again! At least not when I’m around!

@j.wy_official: ^^ dude, you were sleeping as if you were dead. There’s no way in hell you knew what was going on!

@k.hj_official: ^^ doesn’t matter if I was dead! Yunho told me and now I need bleach for my brain!

@c.s_official: As Yunho said, ABOUT DAMN TIME! Now, when do we hear the wedding bells?

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ whenever Wooyoung grows a pair and proposes (and I say this simply because he makes more money than me. If I were to propose, he’d get a ring pop)

@p.sh_official: ^^ better not be anytime soon! And he better ask for permission!

@s.mg_official: whoop! Party! Finally!

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ very original comment…

@c.jh_official: Supporting as long as you don’t fuck in my bed, kiss or make out in front of me, and won’t make me babysit in the future.

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ babysit!? How far in the future are you!? I don’t even know what I’m gonna eat for lunch in a week!

@k.ys_official: when did this happen?

@j.wy_official: ^^ Hyung, you’re the most clueless person to ever walk the face of the earth… ladies and gentlemen, Kang Yeosang!

@k.ys_official: ^^ if we listened to EVERYTHING you said Wooyoung, there’d be no time for anything else

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❤️ 💬 ↗️

Liked by @p.jw_notofficial and 28 832 013 others

@j.wy_official: I wanted the blue one😔

Oh yeah, and we got engaged when Seonghwa was in another country :)))

@p.jw_notofficial: fuck, that means I have to change my username-

@j.wy_official: ^^ is it really that much of a chore?

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ yes… and the blue one was yummy…

@p.sh_official: WHAT!? How dare- I mean… congrats sis…

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ either be nice or you won’t be the best man

@p.sh_official: ^^ sorry…

@c.s_official: I wanna be the maid of honor!

@j.yh_official: ^^ NO! I’m better because I’m tall!

@c.s_official: ^^ people prefer dogs. Not giraffes

@j.yh_official: ^^ I only agree with the fact that you’re a dog. And btw, giraffes are amazing!

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ okay… San you’re my maid of honor… for now at least… and Yunho can be the flower girl :)

@c.jh_official: as I stated previously. I’m not a free babysitter in the future. I’ll happily take $20 a kid/hour

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ don’t you love us!? I’m gonna tell my kids you’re a mean uncle

@c.jh_official: ^^ good, then they won’t annoy me :)

@s.mg_official: I am so gonna have the most epic entrance ever seen at a wedding!

@j.wy_official: ^^ upstage me and you won’t see much of the wedding at all

@k.hj_official: congratulations! I wish you all the best! And cute babies :)))

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ first normal comment. Thank you 💋

@k.ys_official: will there be chocolate croissants?

@p.jw_notofficial: ^^ only for you Yeosang!

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[ryuichirou]

Replies

We’re taking a short break with replies, but we’ll be back next week!

Anonymous asked:

Wow, Falin. So you now drew Dungeon Meshi. This looks beautiful.

Thank you so much <3 Dungeon Meshi character design is very nice, I’m glad I had an opportunity to draw Falin.

Anonymous asked:

any thoughts on the manga adaptation yuu’s? Yuuken, Yuuka and Yuuta.

i personally need a foursome with them.

I- I didn’t expect the second part of this ask! Good for you, Anon 😔👍 Aim high.

We don’t really care about Yuu either way (since we don’t read the manga), but I do like the designs for all of them and how different they are. We also posted a sketch of Yuuta at some point! We like him the most.

Anonymous asked:

On the Cater thing, logically, I know the brother comment was to appease the sudden censorship that appeared after the EN release (there's so much of it, just compare voice lines for first and second Halloween events) but that makes me sad so I choose to believe in canon brocon Cater instead.

Oh, so you mean the JP game is somewhat influenced by the EN censorship too? That would be a bummer, but also kind of funny because it was the second Halloween event where we got that suspicious line of Rook telling us how he woke up in the middle of the night and saw that Vil wasn’t there. I guess it wasn’t a voice line, so….

And yes absolutely, Cater canon brocon! Imagine being so tired of having sisters that your brain just says “if I had a brother I would be very into him, especially if it’s Vil” lol

Anonymous asked:

So I know you have your top/bottom rule but I was wondering who you would feel about two bottoms sharing a top or two tops sharing a bottom? I know you already have the tweels basically do this with Idia already but any thoughts on who else might be willing to share? I can picture Lilia being ok with Idia and Silver dating cause how convenient to have two of his favorite boys together! I've also seen you mention Rook and Ortho basically teaming up to stalk Vil. Just an interesting idea I thought you'd enjoy thinking about.

Ohh that’s a fun question, Anon!

Yeah, like you’ve noticed already, we don’t mind tops and bottoms sharing in a 3+ people scenario. Although when it comes to spicy scenes specifically, we tend to prefer “multiple tops, one bottom” route and not the “multiple bottoms, one top” route. But if we’re talking about it in general, I think this is pretty much our default state for a lot of characters? Their relationship status is very fluid…

Lilia could easily date both Silver and Idia, to be honest, I think Lilia doesn’t even necessarily consider it “dating”, he just has multiple partners and enjoys his life lol And Malleus would be on Lilia’s “list” too!

Rook and Ortho could find a good balance and date Vil together too! Rook could also date both Vil and Epel, although with Rook it’s tricky because he’s just going around enjoying life… just like Lilia…

Another trio that we’ve talked about recently is Trey+Riddle+Che’nya, they also work nicely as a throuple.

The first years have a lot of things to sort out between themselves, but theoretically? Maybe Deuce could end up with two boyfriends (Jack and Ace). But it absolutely won’t happen soon, they aren’t mature enough for this yet lol

Anonymous asked:

I don't remember if you've already talked about it, but do you think Idia has ever pretended to be a girl online to troll someone who annoyed him? After having some fun pretending to flirt it would probably backfire, with Idia getting weirded out when the other person starts talking about all the filthy things they would like to do to him. At the same time though, he doesn't really want to stop for some reason...

Anon, this is a scenario that I would absolutely love to witness, but unfortunately, I don’t think Idia would do that. Although he is such a troll sometimes, and he is super unlucky (lucky?) when it comes to how his social interactions spiral out of his control, that he might find himself in a similar situation… It’s the butterfly effect – one little joke from Idia, and suddenly a couple of hours later he’s talking to a guy who is in love with him and doesn’t listen to him trying to explain that he isn’t in fact a cute nerdy gal?? And then suddenly the other person STARTS TALKING ABOUT ALL THE FILTHY THINGS THEY WOULD LIKE TO DO TO HIM—Idia had no idea being an accidental e-girl would be so stressful lol

Let’s hope he realises how weirdly arousing it was to read all this gross horny stuff about himself  before he blocks the guy… He’ll probably send him a bouquet of computer viruses while still fuming and feeling the tingles uvu what a good girl.

[stalkersdiary]

Sooooooooo you're single. Would you ever date a stan? You have fans from all over the internet so I gotta know! You're in music, youre on youtube, youre in local newspapers, youre a streamer, and you're an actor. You've GOTTA know how many people wanna date you. Are you looking for a fellow stalker? I SAVE ALL THE PICTURES YOU'VE POSTED ON THE ARCHIVE SINCE YOU TURNED 18! I'm in your public discord server! I follow all of your socials! I relate to you and at this point I don't know if I want to be you, or date you. XD hope this isnt too creepy lol~

Ah... I have been trying to figure out how to reply to this because you clearly did your research and I have to acknowledge that amount of effort. I'm impressed even if it's a little unexpected. I find it endearing. I think it's cute that you as well as people like you enjoy my content all over the world and that you feel so strongly about me. Especially in a positive sense. I'm happy that my content has been a safe space for you. ^^ I have no problem with dating a stalker. However... It depends on what kind of stalker we mean. I've had stalkers since I was in my very first commercial and to be honest, it scared me. (Though I was around 12 when someone tried to find out where I lived.) These days, I find it slightly annoying depending on the circumstances. Super fans/Stans/Stalker fans are the first ones to comment on how my "body language looked suspicious" in my videos/streams, or how I "look more tired than usual." I appreciate the concern but sometimes, I'm just unstable and I have a life that doesn't make a lot of sense. I love that people enjoy my content and even go so far as to talk to me in public. When I pick up my medication at Walmart or at an appointment with my endocrinologist, it's flattering, I love it. However, don't push your luck. I have at least one weapon on me at all times and I am not afraid to hurt someone if I need to get things done. If I dated a stalker, they would have to respect that I have a chaotic life. I'm constantly in the hospital, on camera, or recording lines and I need to be alone during most of those moments. They'd have to not try to make people dislike me because being an entertainer is my main source of income. If they were to be my new source of income, I'd have no problems, but that isn't very realistic. I'm about to be 23 now, and I kind of need to do what I can to make money. So- overall, I love the idea. I think it's really cute. However, it can easily go wrong and that worries me. I love my fans and followers too much to date them and make their lives harder. As for the "Do I want to date you or be you" mentality, I highly relate. I have so many styles, voices, and preferences that sometimes I don't know who I am versus what I want. I can say this though, if you want me of all people, really consider why. Do you want me to look like me and sound like me next to you, or do you want to look like me and sound like me regardless of where I am? Are you after me for the concept? Or are you interested in who I am as me? Do you want CEC? Do you want R? Both of my online personas? Would you still want me if I wasn't either version but a completely different person? Really consider what you enjoy about something before trying to claim it. Rate each thing about your interest from 1 to 10. That will help you understand how you actually feel. Or at least, it does for me. Good luck, and when I go back on tour or to a convention, I'd love to meet you. ^^ You seem nice. Thank you for opening the Stalker's Diary.

[joeyjoeylee]

I loved BSOTL! I think about Gretchen saying "Super Best Tiger" on the daily and giggle to myself. My cat side eyes me.

I wanted to know if you had plans to write more Brio or write anything in general?

Anon, you've made me Grinch Smile thinking of Gretchen and her never-ending exasperation with her Boss slash Little Brother-Cousin she will always partially see as a 5-year-old trailing after her annoying her 🤣 🤣  Putting answer under a cut b/c I may word vomit:

I've written a bunch and it's funny you mention Gretchen, b/c I just checked and I'm up over 5K words into her POV companion to the series. (4K into Annie's, 3K into Courtney's, etc.)

I had also started imagining a canon-jumpoff AU where everything is the same except for Beth/Rio meeting a couple years down the road instead when she is shiny newly-minted Super Go-getter City Councilwoman Trying to Do "Local Business Outreach" For the Community (and her public profile/own benefit natch) and he is Local [Crime] Business Owner wanting to work this situation [her, the connections, her, more money, her] to his benefit now that Nick is in jail and Rio no longer has that previous protection on the City Council. I wrote one chapter there and it is 2K words of basically Beth/Rio's first meeting, staring fixedly and obsessively at each other across his desk trying to figure each other out (this means "manipulate each other") while Mick stands silently behind Rio totally ignored by both, desperately thinking, please. stop this immediately. I can already see this is the worst idea ever. please. I'm so tired already. please.

My actual finishing/posting problems with all this are both micro and macro tho:

Experiencing plotting issues with the other POV structures that I can't quite figure out how to fix. Should they all go together, chronologically, weaving back and forth from like Gretchen to Annie to Gardner, etc. (which means something could be revealed in like, the Annie one covering the summer between 1L/2L that would be picked up in a Gretchen one later) or each one standalone covering the entire time period of watching the Brio trainwreck? How realistic are some of scenes given they would only have information they had personally witnessed or been told about by two unreliable narrators? Too much detail and backstory into the own POVs making them too OC (original character AND out-of-character) and not enough focus on Brio? Making each a standalone "arc" (I know I'm not using the right words here as I'm not enough of a creative writer to articulate it) with beginning, tension, resolution, to stand in their own rights given how long they are or just break them into vignettes?

Lingering never-leaving thought that I need to break off from my one "story" and do something new, so I pick up the outside POVs, then tell myself "stop! be more creative!" and drop them again.

The other POV thing has been done so much better by much better authors. I'm thinking of femalegothic's On the Outside Looking In and mego42's listening through the air shaft (and tooshyforthis’s AITA for wanting to stop paying my wife’s ‘business partner’ and yelling at her? Dean POV literally the most original hysterically perfect format that I’ve ever seen with these two eyes and I think about it at least weekly and laugh) all the time and the others I've read over the years and not sure it's even worth it to try to make a pale copy of those.

Pandemic/quarantine being "over" means I'm back in my thousands of people public office full-time which is a nonstop chaotic energy drag on this lifelong Introvert such that I come home every night and just want to mindlessly scroll Reddit/Tumblr and look at pretty pictures and read brilliant other writers, not actually ROUSING myself to concentrate and contribute anything myself (my default state tbh). During quarantine, I could block off hours at a time to try to immerse myself into writing uninterrupted and now I just don't have that. I wish I could be like other people who can furiously write during like, the 5 interminable minutes before the latest Zoom call starts, but I really can't. I need it to be uninterrupted blocks of time with no other distractions or it ain't happening.

Continual (inexplicable) internal pressure that if I start something, I must finish it such that I don't really want to post a WIP and have it hanging over my head unfinished. It's funny, I was scrolling back through my late summer 2020 Tumblr the other day trying to find something and saw that I had estimated early on that I would post BSOTL a chapter every two weeks. That is HI-larious in hindsight given the gap between the later chapters. But I had the spirit back then and thought I could get it done quickly. Now with the series no longer active and the fandom much quieter such that I'm not being reminded of this hyperfixation at all times, I'd fear I'd let things lag even more, and ya girl would be eaten alive by the "unfinished" aspect of the whole shebang such that it's better not to post at all.

Feeling that the fandom has "moved on" so to speak, which obviously is totally understandable given the passage of time, but makes me think I should "move on" as well into some new obsession and focus energy there (have not found this yet, open to all suggestions as to what to fixate on now instead!)

This is more than you wanted to know, Anon, so I am sorry as per usual. If I do get anything polished up enough tho, I will either post promptly I promise or ask you for a burner email and just send it to you so I can feel like I accomplished something lol.

Thanks again for the note, I'm really glad something I wrote gives you a regular giggle - makes me happy!

[lushlagoon]

091424

in bed listening to the same music i did during covid, samia and indigo de Souza and haley blais and Phoebe. I can close my eyes and pretended it's covid. im in my kitchen baking and listening to samias fit n full, I am a senior in high school, im driving to the salad place in cool springs or the otaku ramen in west Nashville to pick up food and just get out of the house with my dad, it is winter. I think I will go look at pictures of that now.

ive done a pretty good job of documenting a lot of my life. in high school I had a few apps of diaries and video diaries, first couple years of college I had a sporadic diary and committed to constantly posting on my finsta story, now I have this page. im not ready to look back at things yet. I can't handle it. but there's lots to look back at.

I remember the night my grandma fell during covid, it was scary and ambulances came to the house. I saw her being wheeled off and was worried that was the last time I would see her. I cried in my parents room trying to hold my dog back but she jumped out of my arms, I could never do anything right like anyone else.

its weird that for years my grandmas health was so bad. now shes fine, and my grandpa is the sick one. hes kind of there in his head, hes kind of not. shes risen to the occasion to be there for him, I wish I didnt have covid right now and could spend time with them. im trapped in my room but its ok, music is good and I like typing, its raining and its saturday. its only 11am somehow, im jet lagged and sick so my sleep is both fucked and perfect.

saturday means nothing to me. I am graduated and unemployed as of 2 days ago. I just got my final grades back for all of college. I will have my diploma soon. my dad cried when I was in line to graduate. he couldn't talk. I love him so much, he tried to book a restaurant while we were in Paris that inspired ratatouille but it was raining and we were supposed to sit on a patio. hes way cooler than me. ive been applying to jobs but its tiring and ive been getting nothing good in return.

I used to be annoyed by a lot of my friends. now im not. I think I might be the annoying one. it's better to be the annoying one than be annoyed, but It feels like middle school in my head again sometimes. im so quiet I think, how could I be annoying.

about a month before covid hit, I went to a king princess concert with a few of my friends and my future girlfriend. I had a huge crush on her and that concert felt magical, I had so much fun. my room was set up differently, with my bed against the wall. the room felt bigger. I remember thinking "this makes me so happy, I need to just go to as many concerts as I can". I had had my license for a month, drove my blue bmw, and was trying to get a first job. When covid first hit, I decorated my room for all my friends to come over when the virus passed. I put up photos of my friends on my wall. nobody ever came over, and I think still only like 2 friends have entered this room since covid ended. except for my 18th birthday, that was so much fun. why do we never have fun any more? it feels like my friends are settling down already, getting boring. if I think about it too much it makes me sad, all the photos of my friends on my wall for months but nobody ever saw them.

my dad said the other day 18 is far from 21. I said no it's not, because in my head im still close to 18. but im not, it's not close.

I waited until I was 21 to go to bars and didnt get a fake, so maybe I will wait until my frontal lobe develops to try mushrooms.

i always get covid at weird times, like right before im supposed to go to San Diego. I got it right before my freshman year and had to come at normal time instead of early, I felt so behind when I got there. now im getting it before what was supposed to be my 4th year. I think if everything goes to plan I won't be too sad that Im not having a 4th year.

I was looking around my room at the sign brittani made almost 3 years ago, welcome home andie. I will never be a freshman again. last night I freaked out about that but this morning I can see everything more clearly. everybody has their own experience, I had to grow out of my shell in my own time.

I dont think im good with kids and I wish I was. Im excited for Christmas as long as my nephew doesnt cry when I get him a gift.

I told my girlfriend at the beginning of our relationship that I didnt want her to be friends with one of my friends. I get jealous, like thats my friend dont take them. she didn't understand and now theyre on a trip together. I dont think it's fair that if we break up wed have to share that friend when I stated I didnt want that. and it wasnt like I could stop the friendship, they do fun things together and it was good for my friend.

ive never believed in marriage. I dont wanna talk about it more. but literally never since I was a kid have I thought I would get married. now I understand I will probably have to, but im still unsure that I want to.

im jealous of my girlfriend and her whole music thing. the parts im jealous of, she has something to document, and something for her parents to be proud of. she has a constant outlet for creativity and she has time for it. im jealous she doesnt have to work, but im out of state so, I have to compensate for the massive bills somehow. I need to apply to jobs, and she doesnt like when I talk about it because it makes her stressed. she will be fine, her familys from California.

I am already feeling nostalgic for music from less than 6 months ago. adrianne lenkers new album makes my heart ache, makes me think about the trip to norcal. it was so beautiful. I think I will have to move back to Tennessee soon, and I havent even technically left.

anything by adrianne came on and I started crying, not a sad cry but an emotional cry and it felt good. my dad brought me a cup of green tea in my favorite mug with the painting from ferris beullers day off on it, I havent really dranken green tea since high school when I was trying to lose weight. my mom just got back from a business trip. everything Is right.

I heard adrianne for the first time from Charlie freshman year. I came back to Nashville and got back together with my ex girlfriend and listened to the music with her an entire night one time. im not sure who the song reminds me of, I think more Charlie. its so serendipitous that me and my roommates ended up together.

one of my friends said they thought I was the type of person to not keep in touch with friends after I move. that hurt my feelings but now I almost think that was a dream.

[stall1iion]

champions love - two

Y/n was tired. Sitting in a meeting room all morning was not how she preferred to spend her summer but she had decided to sign the contract, but that didn’t mean she knew she would be sitting in a room listening to people go over rules and legality technicalities, whatever you wanted to call them.

If she wanted a law lesson she would have sat in on a class, but nonetheless she was a big girl and so she put on her big girl pants and sucked it up. Even if she’d preferred to be in her big girl pajamas, on her couch, binge watching whatever show she was pushing off with a coffee or tea in hand.

The real issue? She had to sit through these meetings alone, she had to read through the contract, agree to it, and then sit through enough presentations and sign enough things for her hand to have a blister. Alone. Because Max Verstappen was too busy to come himself, something about training they couldn’t push off. So his manager and lawyers were there, Max having already signed everything with his conditions written down apparently.

Now him not being there wasn’t a huge reason for her to be mad, no scratch that, she wasn’t mad, she was just annoyed and tired. This was not what she signed up for but Michael said it would be rude if she put her head down and took a nap in the middle of a presentation. She almost leaped with joy when they announced they were done and everything they could think of was signed and discussed, until she was handed a paper by his manager, Raymond, before she could bolt.

“This is Max’s number, figured with him not being here, messaging him to discuss press things would be nice before the media catches on” He said and even though she was annoyed and ready to go home, this guy was an old guy, basically her grandfather’s age and so she couldn’t snap or be mean and so she smiled

“Thanks, i’ll do that once I get home” she said with a nod as she took the paper and put it in her purse as she smiled at him before waving and walking towards Michael, her smile and overall face dropping as they walked to the car.

“You did good, Y/N” Michael said as he opened the door for her and she slid in, placing her purse in the middle seat and putting her seatbelt on as she glanced at Michael getting in as well. The driver started the car once they heard the click of his seatbelt.

“Did they have to drag it on that much? I feel like I just sat in a criminal law class” she said as she rubbed her forehead before leaning against the door

“They were just cautious..there’s a lot to this, a rather iceberg topic that could ruin both your career and his if found out” he said and she sighed

“I know, I just feel all of that could have been put on a little packet saying the “dos and don’ts” and it would have been easier to understand and faster. I thought we would have just read the contract, make me sign the necessary things and then we leave, not a whole lecture” she said before she looked out the window, “plus Max was able to skip out of everything by just signing the contract”

“Yes well, it was Raymond and his team who drew up the contract, I’m sure they explained everything to Max prior” Michael said before they pulled into her driveway, “And please don’t forget to text Max, we would like for the two of you to have pictures to post before we leak the photos to the press”

“Alright..yeah, I’ll text him” *she said as she looked at him before she got out of the car and walked up to her front door before closing it behind her as she watched the car drive off.

liked by max_verstappan1, bsf1, bsf2 and others

y/nofficial just a little break from the ice, will be back to our regular programming soon <3

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username1 UM HELLO?? WHO IS THAT MAN IN THE SECOND PHOTO??

username7 UH JUMPSCARE WARNING NEXT TIME PLEASE??

username4 🚨‼️MAN ALERT ‼️🚨 MAN ALERT‼️🚨

username12 ..is mother..in her soft launch era?? 😭😭

bsf1 um…rue…when was this? 😦☹️

⤷bsf2 WHAT ABOUT US?? WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WEVE BEEN THROUGH 😭✊

⤷bsf1 WHAT ABOUT TRUST?? 😭😭

⤷y/nofficial you know I never meant to hurt you ☹️😔 (high school musical marathon?)

⤷bsf1 duh 🙄

⤷bsf2 call us cheater

username2 I waited three and half years…white man did it one week

⤷username9 I SAID I WAITED THREE AND HALF YEARS

⤷username6 white man did it in one week ☹️😔

username5 if you look closely in the first picture you can see me hanging from a branch after viewing the second photo

⤷y/nofficial why would you wanna ruin my first picture? ☹️

⤷username5 OMG YOUR SO RIGHT QUEEN! 🫡 I WOULD NEVER

username8 okay yall we get the man jumpscare but I fear everyone is glossing over the fact that MAX VERSTAPPEN is in the likes 😦😦

⤷username11 THANK YOU BECAUSE I WAS LIKE “max verstappen? Ariana what are you doing here??”

⤷username22 and if I said the white guy is max then what…? 😶

⤷username11 friend….😐

⤷username8 now you know damn well our queen would never fall for Sid from ice age 🤨😒

liked by charles_leclerc, lando_norris, y/nofficial and others

max_verstappen1 a little beach time yes?

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username1 um sir?? if that’s you on the left…then who’s on the right??

⤷username2 right? Because if two plus two is four, and humans have two legs…then what the fuck is this?

lando_norris you can read??

⤷max_verstappen1 yes I read 😒can you win a race?

⤷lando_norris HAHA YES I CAN, 5/5/24 BITCH

charles_leclerc wearing sunscreen?

⤷max_verstappen1 wouldn’t want to cosplay a lobster next race 🫡

⤷username7 and yet you two still won’t follow each other??

⤷charles_leclerc no

⤷max_verstappen1 would rather die tbh

username3 okay yes we’re all shocked but Y/N HIDING IN THE LIKES?? YOUR NOT SLICK YOUNG LADY

⤷username6 THATS QUEEN Y/N TO YOU!

y/nofficial is the water warm?

⤷username4 now girl….

⤷username8 Ms.y/n… STAND UP 😭😭

⤷username9 look at her…knowing damn well she don’t give a fuck about the water besides being thirsty 😒

⤷username11 she saw the comment saying she was hiding and said “hiding where?” 🤣

⤷username15 and instead made a damn fool of herself and us 😭sick

liked by bsf1, bsf2 and charles_leclerc, lando_norris, lewishamilton, and multiple others

tagged: y/nofficial & max_verstappen1

Insider source reveals current formula one world champion, Max Verstappen, and current olympic champion figure skater, Y/N L/N, have been spotted together on numerous dates the past two weeks. The relationship has yet to be confirmed but we here believe that the pictures are more than enough confirmation.

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username22 I FUCKING KNEW IT!!

username3 what does that dutch man know about our ice queen?

⤷ username2 right???

username5 STOP IT RIGHT NOW! WE LOST A BADDIE TO SID FROM ICE AGE?? 😭

⤷ username7 SID?? IM FUCKING CRYING WHY IS THAT ACCURATE?

username1 NOOO HE’S NOT SINGLE ANYMORE??

⤷ username4 GIRL…STAND UP

username9 is it just me or is anyone else kind of weirded out? like..he just broke up with Kelly a month ago

⤷ username31 yeah i thought about that too but again you know how these men move, it could be just a fling 🤷

⤷ username9 yeah you right, i guess we’ll see

username14 stop 🛑 who is she?

⤷username89 That’s Y/N L/N she’s a two time olympic champion for figure skating

⤷username70 did you not read the caption?

⤷username14 nope, saw the photos and went right to the comments but cool, she’s american, logan won’t have to be lonely anymore as our token american

username44 ma’am???

username12 i knew we were cooked when she flirted under his comment section 😔

username77 guys false alarm, that’s actually me- haha

⤷username45 I’m coming to you as a woman….

username66 it’s the fact that it’s basically the whole grid in the likes 😭

→ y/n did in fact forget to text Max once she got inside, Michael had to remind her two days later

→ the day she posted, y/n and her best friends remained on call for 5 hrs with y/n just straight up violating Max (quotes in text messages) and then watching high school musical (1-3)

→ y/n did come up with her “flirty” comment but spent about five minutes gagging before she pressed post

→ yes you are buttercup in the group chat (I know it’s sugar, spice, and everything nice and then compound x but yeah um bsf2 is unhinged and so compound x is them) (your spice)

Author’s note!

→ Heyyy, random drop at 2 in the morning but that’s what happens when your work shift ends at 11pm :) Hope you enjoy chapter two! I started it and then took a break for like a day before suddenly getting an idea for how I wanted this chapter to go! I have no idea how Chapter Three will look like but expect it sometime this weekend possibly! Also no beta read, we die like bitches here (this chapter was 10 pages long)

Taglist: @boiohboii @ale-522 @ietss @theseerbetweenus @jaxx-7 @sainzluvrr @the-untamed-soul @ashy-kit @hc-dutch @nichmeddar @delululeclerc

༉‧₊˚ CHAMPIONS LOVE ༉‧₊˚

⤷ Following the messy breakup between Max Verstappen and Kelly Piquet, Max’s manager comes up with a solution to divert the attention – a fake relationship. His new girlfriend? Two time olympic gold medalist figure skater, y/n for the USA team. Easy? Well…

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary117

1/8-9/2024

monday - tuesday

i know why i was so tired yesterday, now.

i am sick once again, my whole body hurts and my nose is hard to breathe through and stuff, i feel like i'm always about to have a nosebleed, my throat hurts too. i love to live. i am so glad annoying cokeheads got me sick.

anyway today i was looking at old scans of fashion mags from south korea/china (probably hong kong i'd guess but no one specified) and japan (inescapable). i'll post some of my fav pics:

spur - japan - i like this last one because it gives me a fun idea for cover art, not the image itself, though it helps w/ pose ideas or whatever, but little watermark someone put up onto it. i think i need to do that w/ the photo i take of myself for the album art, have that there in pixelated text.

harper's bazaar - china

fhm - china - this one's super weird, the last image especially, hard to tell exactly what they were reaching for, the strangeness/relative uncanniness of these photos / defamiliarization of a magazine's approach to sex sells and whatever turning so genuinely weird and offputting feels artistically useful. it's so wholly gaudy and disorienting. weird stuff.

w - south korea

vogue girl - south korea - the scans of this mag are all super crazy, honestly, i didn't expect these all to be so interesting and good.

cosmopolitan - china - i can't tell if this one's text is part of the image or not but it's maybe my favorite part, how it's so ugly beside everything, the really strange gradient, too.

fruits - japan - i didn't realize this one continued through to 2007, really crazy, you only ever see the y2k stuff get passed around really. these outfits are super cute but like that one spur scan w/ the user's watermark, the watermarks here of this website are really interesting to me, i think i also want to stick some weird watermark onto the picture i take, i don't know what i'll call the fake site or whatever but i kind of want it to maybe be something ridiculous/violent in another language. i'd also probably do it in like 128x128 and upscale the text, and instead of having it be something white w/ lowered opacity, i'd try to index it so it's dithered white pixels, instead of smeary transparent text, and then upscale that.

the watermarking stuff is interesting, it's interesting that these scans of magazines that people used to create a sense of self/consume/receive what they ought to be / do are then turned into a kind of capital, at least when it's a website, to get people to refer back to the site/increase traffic, likely get people to pay money to not have to see the watermarks. it's a fun thing to play at, to me, the accumulation of basically trash information, the trading of images and their valuation. scans of magazines online are kind of like trading cards, it seems like, there's stuff uploaded on archive.org but not as much as anyone would hope, at least with this niche stuff. and there too, the safeguarding of images from being stolen, is sometimes present. i know they keep vogue locked up on there, same with a lot of books, you can't rip books out easily, i mean sometimes people do, but i don't try to do that really.

so en magazine - japan - another example of the watermarks on 2 of the 3 pics, this is what i'm imagining i'll try to approximate the above methods and stuff. also i really love how so en seems to really go in on a kind of fucked up revival of the 60s, the above range from like 07 to 2013.

re: music today, i did 2 tracks, i wanted to do more but i was getting hit like a truck by illness in the middle of the day. i think they've both turned out pretty good, maybe both need a little help w/ getting the kicks louder, but idk, my ears are maybe a bit messed up when trying to do that kinda thing. but i have to proceed. tomorrow i think i'll have to take care of this really tiny thing w/ a song, to get it right, and then maybe 2 other tracks. i am eventually gonna have to get back to my big problem track (really there are 2) but maybe by then i'll have a way better idea what i'm doing.

i am so sick, there's more i wanted to say, though. i read this pretty, frustrating, i guess, comic, tonight. someone posted it saying something like "this says a lot about being trans in north america" or whatever, and it mostly doesn't but it's interesting i guess to read something like that and think about why/how i feel alienated from ever being able to say anything stable about my own identity/gender. the frustration mostly though comes from this sense that everything's too perfect, the relations between characters are too neat and the things they know are too easy, almost, at one point a character looks at kiwifarms, and it's like, is this kind of person, because the comic is kind of working in types, the sort to so easily know about that. like, i dunno, it feels too easy, it seems like something find out about, when they're in the middle of the kind of thing that character was in the midst of, which would have been more interesting. but overall idk, there's a certain way of interfacing w/ oneself/other present in the comic, the sort of types it runs through, and stuff, it creates distance, even though i can sit there and be like, oh i know this type of person, i've met someone like that, or even just, i've seen this kind of thing from a distance. it's valuable to reflect on, because i try writing in similar directions sometimes maybe, i don't want to rely on types totally, i get why a comic would, in prose fiction it's better to get away from that but there's just stuff like that. really what i'm reflecting on, in my inability to say anything stable about myself, like, i can't say: i'm a girl, i'm a boy, i'm a man (speaking honestly, man is what i never want to be, i don't think i ever say i am one), i'm a woman (i don't really know what being one means, maybe, i'd need someone to tell me (and this throws up the whole issue of why girl/boy, that feels weird to me, i'm 25, i'm something else (but what, and like, i dunno))), without ever having to contradict it right after, i just want to be what i am without what feels like interference, but 'cis' is an interference too, i'm not cis, i know that, there's nothing else to know i think. anyway, because of that, when i write characters, the ones i'm writing as/using my personal life for, i can't really gender them, they can't gender themselves, they just are, no matter what, people stick things to them and they all let it linger, or they're troubling themselves over if they pass or not but that's something internal and particular. anyway, i guess there's a thought, where by never really saying anything outright, is that a cowardice, where i let the idea of normalcy/being normal creep in, i don't think so, i don't think i'm normal, or i don't think ultimately i help things be normal with my presence. i dunno though. i kind of hate the "some men are just feminine and are actually super normal" thing, not because it's untrue, but to say there's no complication there, and also that this isn't just a cope or whatever, is frustrating. it's frustrating because people are at once alienated from being 'trans' (a broad thing that can mean all sorts of things really) and wanting to still be seen as cis so people don't think you're weird. it's not something i hate the people that feel that way for, i hate the world that makes that desirable.

anyway, i dunno. it's basically all complex and fucked up. sometimes i think of myself in percentages but putting it to text feels like a commitment, i don't ever want to be committed to performing some percentage of gender. i really just want gender to disappear as a thing, but i also, obviously, really want to look a certain way, be seen a certain way, because of stuff that happened to me as a kid and stuff i saw and whatever, it's like necessary, i have to. no one has a gun to my head except i feel like one shows up when i'm ugly. i'm on a tightrope, i was put there, it's not my fault, a lot of people are on it too, like everybody is, it's terrible.

i think if tiqqun were writing currently on the young girl, they might be compelled to speak on trans stuff, but i think all they might say ultimately is that basically every human on earth is on hrt. they would be right. although that makes it sound like i think hrt is bad or something. or maybe not. i think hrt is good and i think about trying it sometimes, or not trying, i'd have to commit, that seems less scary than the percentages though because i could still really be whatever/nothing/everything. everyone's on hrt but they receive it via socially enforced norms/reality stamping down on you, you will conform to standards and so on and whatever. sometimes i think gender euphoria is really a negative thing, in ways, if you think about cis men and their gender euphoria, where they might get it from, being hard laborers or beating women, basically suffering and then throwing it around, things become more frightening. i experience euphoria when people stare at my ass and i want to kill them but i also want people to stare. when my gf is transfixed by me, it's really nice, but it's also scary, why do i want to be totally inert and just looked at. it makes me wretch but i can't help it, really. i need attention all the time. i'm writing about how fucked up my insides are, i'm so histrionic.

that's one thing on my mind. the other really is how much i hate being sick and how i am like a sick and withering whateverrrr. my head hurts distantly, in a threeway sort of thing, different points of penetration along my brain and stuff.

so, i should like, sleep, probably.

so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!