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viviennevermillion · 1 year ago

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My boyo. He's so adorable but SOOOO deranged it's not even funny. Like how do you work for human traffickers to make up for your inescapable poverty, use your magic to turn people into puppets to sell, enchant them to participate in a whimsical musical number for no reason but your own personal amusement, tell the terrified victims over loudspeaker how shit you think they are, let yourself be enraged by a bunch of sassy high schoolers and then decide by the end of the day, to quote my dear friend Azul Ashengrotto, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! How does one go from trafficking children to wanting to found a school for magicless children in the span of 24 hours. How do you manage to escape a probably exploitative work contract AND steal your bosses' property in the span of 24 hours with nothing but 1 madol and a dream? How's he going to fund this school? He apparently has to be worried about getting enough to eat. How do you just go "you're right, no more trafficking children, from now on I'm gonna commit to the good of humanity :)"

His lesson from the whole thing was "actually schools are good!" rather than "wow I feel so bad for all the people I probably sold :/"

There is not a sane bone in his body and no rational thought in his brain. His thoughts probably contain so much cursing that the sentences are unintelligible when you censor them. Everytime he speaks to a person he doesn't like, he internally adds "you mediocre little fuckshit pissbabies" or similar to the end of the statements. He has the most deranged evil laugh ever. Even when he likes you and you tell him a funny joke he goes "hehehahahaaAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH" like he's about to kill someone. He likes having his little ears scratched. He bites though.

He's like the biggest asshole cat you can mentally picture. He doesn't just push stuff off your shelves, he takes the vases and chucks them at unsuspecting pedestrians. He's mad at you and you ask him for a glass of milk and he takes the milk carton out of the fridge and pours the entire thing all over the floor and kitchen counters without breaking eye contact. There's a collection of knives on his bedroom wall.

He's my special little guy. They want to study him to update the DSM-5. He eats the rich. He needs some money to found his little school so he gotta work in retail, scanning the customers' products at checkout and muttering "fucking bourgeoisie cockroach" under his breath. Shamelessly lists "amusement park manager" and "salesman" in his CV as if he worked at a legitimate business. He once had a mental breakdown at the grocery store after closing hour and downed a bottle of whiskey straight from the shelf and then danced through the snack aisle stabbing his cane into the chips bags out of boredom while singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile". Gidel being mute is the only reason this kid does not curse like an uncensored Rapper version of Ebenezer Scrooge.

He's clinically insane. He's the most wondrous attraction at Playful Land. He hopes the afterlife is a musical. He's Fellow Honest. This is a fake name.

#twst #fellow honest #twst fellow #twisted wonderland fellow honest #twisted wonderland #stage in playful land

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feralcoffeebug · 16 days ago

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i saw in the tags of ur new fic that hua cheng has BPD in ur hcs…. if ur willing to talk abt it id love to hear abt it 🙏

Hi!!! Ofc I’d love to talk about it.

So Hua Cheng is one of the characters that I hold super dear to my heart, in that fic he wasn’t quite old enough for the actual symptoms to start showing in ways that would be super obvious hence the whole “it’s not really shown/explored here” that I mentioned. But! Let’s get into it!

There are 3 suspected subtypes for BPD, not really “officially” used in the dsm5 but! Hua Cheng fits Really Well for quiet BPD, which is often where the symptoms are more internalized rather than outward. As a child and teen when he was the little boy and little soldier the BPD symptoms are more outward, as is extremely common for people with quiet BPD that they do not start with this presentation of symptoms.

Since I love researching especially for my headcannons this will have me pulling from the DSM and using that lol. Sorry if this isn’t quite what you wanted! Feel free to send another ask in that case! I love answering questions haha.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE NOVELS

The diagnostic criteria means you need 5 of the main 9 symptoms of BPD to be diagnosed with it. A lot of these behaviors start around 13, HOWEVER it is very difficult to diagnose in children and teens due to regular hormonal changes and a developing mind can often mimic the same instability that comes along with BPD. Please do not use this as something to diagnose yourself.

Hua Cheng, as he is, meets a few of the symptoms. I’ll go symptom by symptom to explain them a bit more

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment (not including sh or sui behaviors as it is covered in a different criteria).

Throughout TGCF Hua Cheng often spends a lot of him time attempting to be useful or good enough for Xie Lian, He gets very anxious and fearful around areas that might make Xie Lian leave him or be disgusted by him.

As Hong’er, he often changes entire things about himself with just a small off-hand comment from Xie Lian. He picked up the saber and focused on it because Xie Lian told him that he would suit it well. He panicked every single time someone tried to remove the bandages covering his red eye because he knew that it was something a lot of people hated or treated him badly for and was disgusted by, and he didn’t want Xie Lian to see it. When Xie Lian found out about the fact that he was born under the star of solitude and that meant he was cursed he had a breakdown about it, only calming down when Xie Lian assured him that he was believed that he wasn’t cursed. He showed anger at anyone else where for Xie Lian he would do anything (except talk haha)

I can’t say much about Wu Ming or him as a ghost fire; mostly due to not having gotten to his chapters yet. But my brain wants to use the part with the 33 heavenly officials and his anger at Feng Xin and Mu Qing as proof as well. Along with his devotion to Xie Lian.

As Hua Cheng, he often looks to Xie Lian when he’s not sure what he will think of things, often changing his likes and dislikes when it comes to him. He changed his form to be one that Xie Lian might have liked more, being extremely insecure about his true form while trying to play it off that he was ugly, which obviously Xie Lian didn’t agree with. And once he saw that Xie Lian wasn’t as disgusted by his actual form he uses it more often along with (At least in the manghua) he incorporates some parts of it in his San Lang form.

All in all, usually he sees things that could displease Xie Lian as being bad, and I believe this comes from a place of fearing abandonment by Xie Lian.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation

This symptom is a hallmark of the disorder, and most of the other symptoms are what leads to this symptom to showing up. For Hua Cheng, his relationship with Xie Lian is pretty constant and in this context he would be his Favorite Person (FP) (will be discussed later) but his relationship with others are far more unstable. He goes between not caring for those he barely knows to being extremely angry and vindictive if they even so much seem as if they are insulting or disrespecting XL. He also seems to not have very steady relations with those he is simi closer to than strangers (such as yin yu and black water, the only two that, outside of XL, he has around him decently often enough, which honestly probably shows more so that he is attached to Xie Lian like a person with Bpd is to their FP). His opinion of those people seems to be very dependent on how they’re effecting his current situations as they happen, at least from what I’ve seen myself. He also holds very little regard for people outside of Xie Lian, which honestly might point to something like ASPD or something but in my opinion HC fits BPD more so than the other one but I could see the argument for it.

His unstable relationship mostly goes in relation of himself and his self image, which are very dependent on Xie Lian.

3. Identity disturbance: marked and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

For this criteria, this mostly means changes in personality, likes, dislikes, goals, and role. Often the only sense of self people with BPD have is that they are bad or evil, which we see a lot in Hua Cheng, his view of himself is very negative. He often does not feel as if he deserves to be treated nicely by Xie Lian.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentionally self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating. Not including sh or sui behaviors.

Idk why for this one specifically but in my heart I feel like he is very impulsive even outside life or death situations. I cannot for the life of me recall why right now

One of them is him betting his ashes in the fight with the 33 gods, while that could be seen as him being confident in his ability to win it is still very dangerous. I’m unsure if this would count as impulsive or just sui behavior lmao.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

As Hong’er, He was going up the wall to die. Not only that but when he was in the army he often put his life on the line specifically trying to protect Xie Lian, to the point that Feng Xin mentioned offhand that it seemed like he had a death wish and that he had no concern for his own life. All of Hua Cheng’s deaths actively involve dying for Xie Lian, as he decided to live for the man as well.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Hua Cheng’s mood often shifts very quickly from extremes, there seems to be very little grey area for his moods. Often times, he is happy and content only for a small thing to bring his ire and anger, especially when it comes to his time with Xie Lian. This is often set inwards, anger at himself for not being able to protect him. But this also is directed at others as well as seen by his reactions when Feng Xin and Mu Qing show up.

7.Chronic feelings of emptiness.

In my headcannons this is very true. He is often bored, he often acts very bored in the donghua when something doesn’t have to do with Xie Lian.

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.

I don’t know about you, but I think a lot of Hua Cheng’s emotions include anger. He hits He Xuan because of a situation that endangers Xie Lian. He is known for getting into fights over small things. He killed 33 gods for simply disrespecting Xie Lian. He often has outbursts in anger at Mu Qing and Feng Xin, using a lot of sarcasm. These outbursts often happen when Xie Lian isn’t giving him attention or when they are disrespecting/looking down at Xie Lian in some way, shape, or form.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid idealtion or severe dissociative symptoms

This symptoms often comes up when in response to something that may be relating to possible abandonment. Hua Cheng tends to get more quiet and withdrawn when situations have to do with himself or when something comes up that Xie Lian might hate him over. The topic of E’Ming makes him start to try and move the topic off of it’s emotional responses, when he hurt Xie Lian he gets quiet and stares where Xie Lian left for a long while, getting quiet when Xie Lian apologizes for the situation before nearly crying over it and apologizing over it.

Now, a lot of the reasons behind why I say a character has a mental illness usually does not come from what criteria they meet, but I felt that explaining what could possibly meet what criteria is a fun way to get the conversation started. A lot of BPD is the mental process that gets the reactions, or what causes the reactions. I’m going to get into the like, less official practical and professional view of BPD and go more into it as someone who shows a lot of BPD esc symptoms and the research I’ve done from other people with the disorder.

In BPD, there is a thing called a Favorite Person, also shorthanded to FP. I mentioned earlier that Xie Lian would be his FP, and I stand by this. Often to a person with BPD their FP is everything to them. Their emotional wellbeing and sense of self is often based on the person. It is often very intense and their FP is often what is the root cause of their symptoms showing up. Often FPs are caregivers, friends, crushes, and other things. It can be a very unhealthy relationship for both parties due to the fact that a person with BPD rely heavily on their FP for regulation.

This is something we often see with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian. Hua Cheng relies on Xie Lian for reassurance, taking every grain of it. He does everything in his power to appeal to Xie Lian but also doesn’t mind if Xie Lian doesn’t know about him or hates him as long as he can be useful to him. He also does all he can to get Xie Lian’s attention and praise. He bases a lot of himself and his environment around Xie Lian. I think that the opinion that some of the fandom has of him that “everything revolves around Xie Lian for his character” is a very good example of this. I do not agree with this sentiment, obviously, but it is very common for people with BPD to base almost everything around this FP.

Hua Cheng also wants to spend all of his time around Xie Lian, which is often seen with people with Bpd and their fps.

A lot of this headcannon also has a lot to do with seeing myself in Hua Cheng, seeing behaviors I’ve done for past FPs and even my current FP. I see my relationship with my current FP (which is my boyfriend before anyone asks) in Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. I am a lot more unstable in my relationship with my FP than Hua Cheng is to Xie Lian, but I also feel like Hua Cheng often would turn his anger inward a lot more than I do and fall heavily into self blame for any issues. Along with that, I feel as if Hua Cheng is also pretty inclined to feel as if he overstepped and to internally berate himself for thinking he could have or do or feel whatever unstable emotions and feelings and devaluation towards Xie Lian.

Anyways here’s a small, very tired and sleepy explanation. I’m sorry if none of this makes sense. I just woke up to write this and I’m probably heading to bed.

#This made me realize that I don’t have access to the DSM-5 anymore lmao #hua cheng #hualian #mxtx #tgcf #mxtx tgcf #tgcf spoilers #tgcf hua cheng #hong er #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #crimson rain sought flower #hua Cheng having Bpd

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thenewrises · 9 months ago

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a welcome home prattle from my mind

so I've been on the Welcome Home train since last year but I never delved into theories about the website. mostly I've just searched from the side, talked to friends who also enjoyed it, and watched videos on it such as Night Mind. but! with the recent updates, I have to say I have sooooo many thoughts and ideas about it. with horror being my favorite genre and loving when I have the ability to research a website full of secrets, it was only a matter of time before I dived in.

so! if you're interested, here are some thoughts I have about the update and maybe some interesting theories.

also! some of these ideas are thanks to the many theories I've read here on tumblr as well as watched when Night Mind released his vod. also including findings as well!

Welcome Home belongs to the lovely @partycoffin! if you are new to this site, please read the credits page where you can find warnings!

stick around and get comfy, this is a long one.

so there is no perfect order this will all go in, so I will label what I will discuss in bold and then go from there.

Voice Warps

something that we are not strangers to is many audio recordings and their voice warps. from the last update, anytime someone tried talking to or about Wally, their voice would contort and the tape would end. this time, we received more vocal content (shoutout to the VAs they are incredible) and there was one in particular that me and many others caught on. Wally is known not to know much about emotions or how to express them. from my knowledge after many hours perusing Clown's blog, Wally is somewhat of a blank slate. learning as the show moves.

in the audio recording "Homewarming Storybook Record", during the end of this tape in the last two or so minutes, Wally says that he's sad and doesn't know why.

starting at 18:16, after Barnaby explains why he may be sad, Wally gets... frustrated. upset. he says in a clearly perturbed voice "...how can that be?" the audio warps during this time, almost as if his entire environment around him changed just by his own emotions.

why is this? we know Wally is somewhat the center of this puppet universe, and the moment he expresses a negative emotion, it's almost like the worlds stability was tilted.

as long as he is his normal and happy self, the world seems fine and at peace. yet, the moment he expresses his despair, it's like a switch flipped. it's only when Barnaby explains what the meaning of Housewarming is, which reassures Wally, that he returns to his happy and now relieved self.

Frank and Julie (TW: Homophobia)

this will be a much more sensitive topic to discuss, and as someone who is LGBT+ myself, it is not always a fun thing to research. but, I think this plays a super important role in the overall story of Welcome Home and my theories for the future.

another new edit I discovered, as well as something I've learned reading on the site and listening to audios, is the push for Frank to play a straight role. of course, this is the 70s we're talking about. the Stonewall Riots had only just happened in 1969, and homosexuality was still noted as a mental disorder. when the DSM-I was released, homosexuality was labelled as a sociopathic disorder until 1974. the idea of an LGBT+ relationship in a children's show would be unheard of.

with us knowing Eddie and Frank are romantically involved, that makes this all the more heartbreaking to know. Frank playing off his feelings by calling Eddie "Mr. Dear." Frank playing all the straight male roles alongside Julie. Sally calling Julie and Frank's costumes "a couples costume."

I find this such an interesting thing to include because not only is it eerily accurate to the timeframe, it also makes me think.

these are puppets. fictional and unthinking puppets. costumes you could even say. a person who creates the so-called fictional world of Welcome Home can control the narrative however they please because these aren't real people! of course they can be whatever you want! so... why did they create this relationship for Eddie and Frank? could it be someone within the Playfellow studio wanted to bring more positive awareness to the topic? were the actors who voiced (in this fictional world) the characters romantically involved?

or... are these puppets alive? they have their own emotions, thoughts, opinions. we know Wally is a sentient being, I mean, he literally would talk to us through the website. he reaches out to us through links, videos, audios, and even phone calls. so, does that mean EVERYONE is sentient?

in the audio "Eddie's Big Lift Storybook Record", we even hear Frank say to Eddie, "you always did work so hard." so, did they know each other in a past life? is this representative of the real life in story (fictional) voice actors?

we'll discuss this more later.

Sally Knows Something Is Out There

this is not new, as this was from the Halloween update but I wanted to include it because I feel like it's a look into the horrors of the world.

in the audio "Happy Haunting to Boo and Yours! Storybook Record", the transcript down not catch this, but Sally goes on to explain that out in the night, something lurks and waits for prey. it crawls around at night, up walls, scratching and screeching. Sally made sure to mention to ask, "why don't we go out at night?"

with her being a star from the sky, I sometimes wonders if before coming to the neighborhood she had seen it. and if not that, she mentioned if you stay quiet and stick close to the windows you can hear it. it cannot enter homes, it eats bugs if it's starving. it seems to have eaten other "neighbors." what could "it" be? some kind of creature in the night? why is it hunting them down?

Away From Prying Eyes

from all the symbols scattered on the website and with the help of the decoder in the Merchandise tab, we end up unscrambling an address.

we discover the website https://www.awayfrompryingeyes.net/ . in this site, we get to peruse "W" and their findings. now I think I can speak for a lot of people that my initial reaction was this was Wally. of course, this was dismissed rather swiftly after realizing that 1. this person was contacted by Wally and 2. they work for the project.

one thing that caught my eye quickly was the fact that the curator of the initial website became "unwell" and no one knew why. they claimed they did not know what caused them to be so unwell, or why they "created that page."

my guess is they mean the new (or in general) Welcome Home website. the curator created the new one because of Wally's interaction with it. they are trying to keep him silent, push away any suspicion. just who might this curator be?

W explains how they became Paranoid (with a capital P) once they discovered the collection of crude drawings, texts, and videos. seems to show that they are understanding that this has gone from a simple project to a unnatural phenomena.

the phone call from Wally is him talking to You (the collective You he knows) and he seems to express loneliness. "everyone is so busy during Homewarming", and he explains how quiet it is. I think he finds You to be a way to not feel so alone, as he seems to be the only sentient puppet of the crew.

well... he used to be the only one.

Commercials For Cigarettes and Pills

in the commercials, we get an array of holiday-themed music and advertisements. of course, we'll talk about the Eddie snippets, but I found a lot of disturbance with some of these. Welcome Home is a children's show, and many of the advertisements reflect that! products like cereal, music, Wally Ball and Cup, and Mama Beagle's Barnyard Eggnog. and then it gets... odd.

adults of course can enjoy this show, but it targets a young demographic. we get a commercial for Hooplah, a cigarette brand. then a commercial for Remderem, a sleeping pill.

now, this is the 70s, so maybe this could be a poor judgement marketing goal. I would not be surprised if it was a ploy for more money, but I still just find it so interesting that a children's show would advertise these. even in the merchandise tab of the project website, there's a fake pipe that blows bubbles. it all feels highly inappropriate for a child to intake this kind of material.

well, who said Playfellow was a moral brand?

Eddie Becomes Fully Sentient

we watch in real time the moment that Eddie realizes who he is.

during the commercials video, we find Eddie Dear preparing for the holidays. he starts off with a conversation with Poppy, which moved into her saying he works too much. throughout the video, we have snippets of real-life felt puppet Eddie decorating a tree, wrapping gifts, and at one point he plays multiple solo rounds of Tik-Tac-Toe.

he is wondering why no one has come to him about delivering gifts. why has no one visited him? he gets so distressed that he even slams his felt hands on the table. why has no one come to see him?

Sally resolves this by saying they did it to give him a break (which is interesting to me seeing as she tends to not give him the time of day), and she brings him to the Homewarming party. so he's surrounded by the neighbors, and in a big chair (Wally's chair, in fact) with a single pea on a plate.

and then things get weird.

Eddie starts sweating, derealization sets in. he's shown alone, single pea on a plate in hand. Home is staring back at him, and a heartbeat can be heard along with Eddie's staggered breathing. is that Eddie's heart or... Home's?

everyone's voices are disappearing in the background, Eddie is in a panic. and then things get even weirder.

Eddie looks at his arms, and they're made of felt. he taps his fingers on the arm of chair, then grips it in fear.

then the frame switches, Sally brought Frank over (was she worried about him?) to let him know that yes, she watched Eddie in the Post Office all day. Eddie is looking at his hands and legs, which are no longer felt but illustrated again. Frank calls out for him, even by his first name, and Eddie didn't even know where he was. but finally just wanted to go home.

this was the moment, that I believe Eddie discovered that he was a puppet. and he was being watched.

I find the single pea on a plate so interesting as this is the description:

"take care not to place them too close together"

why is Eddie being singled out? he was left out of many advertisements during this update, thought everyone forgot about him, and was even left out of the Homewarming story with Wally and Barnaby. they had stated they met every neighbor, but why not Eddie?

Will Eddie Be Removed?

unfortunate news seeing as he is my favorite character in the entire story (Wally and Sally a close second). I adore him, and I want nothing more than for him to remain. but I have a bad feeling he may be our first victim. he's being isolated, becoming paranoid, showing emotions that may not be seen as "neighborly."

I don't think it's any coincidence that this was an early drawing we received:

I believe Playfellow is removing Eddie, or attempting to. but for what reason? because of him and Frank? because he's not needed? that's what I'm hoping to learn more about in the next updates. because let's be frank (ha, get it?), it's not looking good for our favorite country mailman.

Ghost Thoughts and Theories

now it's time for me to ramble and yap your ear off because WOW this update was my favorite by far. I think this will happen every update honestly, but I thought it would be hard to beat the last update. this was incredible, from the animation, to the voice acting, to the crafts it was all wonderfully well done. I want every characters special item from the Homewarming wishlist!.

but now, what do I think could be happening? I have two very shaky ideas. I say shaky because these could be proven wrong easily, but if one or both is not then I can continue to build on it.

1. These friendly fellas reflect reality

so one thing I thought of is that maybe they are somehow reflecting reality. I mentioned before that maybe Eddie and Frank are their fictional voice actors (not the actual ones here in our reality!) who may be in a secret relationship. could those actors reflect their characters? are they getting rid of Eddie to represent them being torn apart?

but, this is a very meh theory. reason being that we have seen these puppets are capable of sentience. they may have their own souls, thoughts, and feeling that don't reflect a real life alive person from the 70s. but, wouldn't that be interesting?

2. Eddie's sentience was real, and his soul is about to be ripped away

there's an ongoing theory I've always juggled with in my head, the idea that these puppets have souls and a conscience. I'm genuinely led to believe this because of Wally himself. he has connected with us directly from his world. some kind of alternate reality away from hours. haunting that show.

would that mean the puppets were all real and alive people at one point? or are they completely new people all together? whatever the case, they are alive but not all of them may be aware they are in a show.

well, now Eddie is and he's in trouble.

although we aren't sure if Home truly is the villain in the story, we know that Home knows Eddie has "woken up." and he does not seem happy about it. if these puppets are alive, I fear that Eddie may be erased if he can't keep quiet. taken from the narrative for not playing his part. all he had to do was be the happy and clumsy mailman, but he had to go fall for Frank. he went and started to get frustrated and negative. he's never supposed to be the angry type, he's off script.

disfunctional.

so what's next for him?

if you made it to the end, I'm glad I could keep you around! I think this update really gets the brain gears going, lots of questions we'll get answered in the future. this story is getting better by the day, and I'm thrilled to see everything that happens in the future. and I'll get to write more posts like this!

I found everything so endearing as I do every episode, and this will be a groovy ride.

#2.5k words is crazy for a text post about a silly puppet show...#my little wally plush on my shelf smiling like Everything Is Fine #i also love that julie has lil toe beans #anyways eddie protectors stand up we gotta get him outta there #how dare the 70s be not gay friendly i will be outside your house in approximately two minutes playfellow #welcome home #welcome home arg #welcome home theory #wally darling #eddie dear #frank frankly #julie joyful #barnaby b beagle #poppy partridge #sally starlet #howdy pillar #partycoffin

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kojoty · 1 year ago

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Dear chairman,

In my efforts to create AI technology that will benefit all parties involved, I am requesting your full cooperation and patience. We are now discovering mental disorders that previously no man has been able to put a name to, and the implications of this are astounding as well as promising. Attached, you'll find a revised copy of the DSM-24 that my team has graciously put together for your perusal. All we are requesting is 1.2 billion more space bucks to fund our next venture: implanting prion diseases into our benevolently intelligent AI unit to see if it will bring back my dead wife.

I eagerly await your full approval,

The Director of Project Freelancer

#Rvb

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crguang · 2 months ago

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shalom is so……. shes so meow meow and personally i hyperfocus on the sheer world ending romanticism of her as a character because im soggy like that BUT im so excited to read ur psychoanalysis of her omgggg need it to be october RIGHT NEOWWWWW also chameleon ?? 👀👀👀 she doesnt speak to me personally but im listening my liege go off about her 👀👀👀

every thing i hear about shalom makes me more excited to experience her for myself im so hyped for the anni so i can finally see what she’s all about, i just know she’ll be a favourite. inevitable tragedy makes for the best characters and stories, i really can’t waittt for october

i say this a lot, but if i had to choose only one character from ptn who was created in a lab to appeal to me, i’d actually hesitate between chameleon and garofano. i have a thing for authority figures but especially professors and chameleon is like a fantasy extracted from the depths of my mind. psychology is the domain that i love the most and could never tire of, learning that she was not only a psychologist, psychiatrist, hypnotherapist but a UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR with ASPD?……. i still can’t believe it. mind you, i read the DSM-V for fun. i read scientific research on personality disorders for fun. her mastery of hypnosis and unparalleled understanding of the human mind is deeply fascinating to me. she can create illusions— whole worlds that only feel so real because she holds an intimate understanding of each person she hypnotizes. isn’t that insane…? to be known to this extent? to be laid bare before the clinical gaze of someone who, with all that knowledge, only seeks to exploit you? there is something inherently intimate about her ability, yet she is so detached from human emotions. she doesn’t experience them the same way as the majority, and more than that— she thrives on others’ misery. it’s one thing to lack empathy because of a pathological disorder, it’s another entirely to find pleasure in people’s pain as a therapist. there are so many contradictions within her; she’s a therapist who thrives on schadenfreude, she’s disconnected from her emotions with an ability that offers perspective into others’ hearts, which, by all means, should only strengthen innate empathy, and that same ability is at once intimate and predatory !! her logical mind is so beautiful. the way she twists people’s desires and fears, plants seeds of doubt and guilt to benefit her agenda— for someone this cold to possess insight into the human mind that no one else does is so delicious.

this is just one aspect of her character that enchants me, i need to get her to 100% compliance for all those voice lines but she’s very dear to me… for an A-rank Sinner to be treated with the same caution as an S-rank, you knoww that means their destructive power is nothing to laugh at. i love her so much. i need to be her overachieving, favoured, anxious and inexperienced teacher’s pet of a student who she loves to mind fuck with during class because she’s aware of all my repressed desires about my favourite professor whose approval is closely tied to my self-esteem………. need her to learn me by acquisition like a language, to spend so much time inside my head that her control becomes an illusion of comfort. im totally sane btw

#sat answers

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invisiblefoxfire · 6 months ago

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Dear (neurotypical) psychiatrist:

I'm glad "breathing exercises" are helpful for you. But no, my extremely hypersensitive autistic ADHD ass is not going to benefit from sitting still and focusing on my breathing and "being aware of my body."

I am already aware of my body.

I am already too aware of my body. At all times.

Being too aware of my body is the fucking problem I am trying to solve.

No, the reason I get worse when I try breathing exercises isn't because I'm "too anxious" and "need to practice," it's because my fucking brain doesn't work that way. You are making my problems worse by pushing me to do this.

And no, rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is not an "American thing" invented by the spooky cabal of psychiatrists you imagine are profiting from regular updates to the DSM (which, by the way, still doesn't even mention RSD). It's a thing every single ADHD person I know experiences and not a single non-ADHD person does. It is not social anxiety. It is not "dependent on your personality." It is not something I can treat with yet more breathing exercises.

And every time you roll your eyes and scoff at something I tell you is a serious problem in my life which you think is some newfangled made-up nonsense, you make everything worse.

(Note: there is such a severe shortage of specialists in my country that I'm extremely lucky to have any psychiatrist, let alone one who speaks English, let alone one who works with ADHD adults, so I can't just go get a better one. The current waiting list is over a year long. And fascinatingly, this "those Americans keep making up new nonsense" doctor is younger than me. Somehow he set his opinions in stone a solid decade or so before he was born I guess. At least I have a diagnosis and someone to prescribe me medication during the periods when there isn't a massive shortage! Always good to focus on the things I'm grateful for!) 🙃

#adhd #actually adhd #actually autistic #neurodivergence #psychiatrists #mental health #rejection sensitive dysphoria #rsd #vent post

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mentholmuse · 8 days ago

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The Last Of Us - Incorrect Quotes

Very Correct Actually | HBO Specific

Things that don't exist in TLOU Universe:

SHINee

Klance

Miranda's 'Cerulean Blue' speech

Australia (probs) (like aus is GONE the grain industry over here.... nah)

Wicked, post first show

Wicked loosing tony to Avenue Q

Ugg Boots on a red carpet

Me (2004 baby)

Star Wars Episode 3, and by extension mass bi awakenings

Star Wars OG Trilogy box set/being able to see carrie fisher in the mental bikini at home

The Hunger Games, ellie would have ate this UP for all the wrong reasons

World of Warcraft

Lord of The Rings 3rd movie

Swifties

Brexit

Europe Nation-States as a whole probably (baby thats cordycepsfalia now)

Facebook

Autism in women (pretty much)

Dissolving of the Asperger's Diagnosis

The Wii

The iPhone, but more interestingly Steve Job's insults

Fears abt the world ending in 2012 bc of the Mayan calendar

4Chan

Any imaging from the Hubble Telescope (launched DAYS before outbreak day) (that's kinda poetic honestly like you want to venture out. okay, well so do cordyceps)

the term "baby bump" according to wiki

flash mobs

The Kardashians™️

Shrek 2

Spider-Man 2

Howl's Moving Castle

Attack on Titan the manga

GTA 5

The idea of GTA 6

Lost

Michael Jacksons death (as we know it)

"Bimbo Summit"

The Notebook

Paris Hiltons Music career

Bling Ring

My Immortal (fanfic)

Ao3

Wattpad

DSM-5

My Parents Marriage

Teen Vouge

That one vanity fair cover with all the 2003 it girls

Legally Blond 2

Charlie's angel 2

Scooby Doo 2

Madonna and Britney Spears kiss

Britney Spears conservatorship (Britney would FUCK UP some infected)

Beyoncé's solo career (aside from first album) (she won FIVE grammys in 2004)

Ellie being an NCTizen (i just see it)

In Da Club -50 Cent

Smosh

Youtube as a whole (i feel like sarah would have liked tarot card readings on youtube and joel would also secretly eat them up)

the resolution that an american politician was the one to leave a hit and run, dead dear in the middle of a park (arent the Kennedys basically american royals. yalls royals are wild, mine just 'secretly' assassinate each other)

SPF 50+

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban again en mass awakenings... liking wolfstar, wolfstar roleplayers, liking kinda along hair nerdy guys, liking girls who punch ppl like draco malfoy in the face.

dare i say movie adaptation drarry stans

the marauders fanon

Ashley Simpson lip syncing scandal

NippleGate

Solo Gwen Stefani

Yeah! by Usher, lowkey i think this song would have been Joels guilty pleasure

Jojo Siwa

Desperate Housewives

Pretty Little Liars the concept as a whole

Napoleon Dynamite (#voteforpedro)

Barbie and Ken Divorce

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Dr Spencer Reid

My crush on Dr Spencer Reid

Mggs mockumentary

Mgg modeling picks we only see in his mockumentary

Hillary Duff "Do you know what you say" (TV Ellie would 10000% call things gay*)

Tom Cruise scientology controversy

cancel culture... all though i think FEDRA is their cancel culture

any publicly elected president in america ever again

kevin rudd sorry speech

julia gillards speech

gay marriage (in australia and in all american states)

hashtags

twitter

jihyo being a kpop trainee

girls generation

bang chan being australian potentially

the gabby hannah show.... and poetry, and music....

my chemical romance*

amy winehouse

honourable mention kinda :

could you imagine thinking the world was gonna collapse in 2000 bc of, y2k, 2001 bc of 9/11 or 2012 bc of the mayan calendar but it was 2003 instead. evolution just couldn't handle wonyoungs impending beauty apparently

there are probably a lotttt of coeliac people in post outbreak TLOU universe

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detentiontrack · 5 months ago

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i see you’re having a very normal time about this movie

I want to go back in time and kidnap whoever had the thought to make this movie and trap them in a closet forever because this movie is actively ruining my life. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I can’t eat anything without thinking some bullshit like “I wonder if anxiety likes buldak ramen noodles :)”. My friends are all tired of me because I won’t stop talking about this movie. I am actively losing followers every time I black out and reblog 50 inside out 2 related posts. I spent 2 hours going through my DSM-5-TR and thinking about how all the different mental illnesses would work in the inside out universe. Dear god someone please save me

#asks #anon #inside out 2

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dearinglovebot · 7 months ago

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claire dearing is legitimately an autistic woman who isn’t diagnosed in my head. you can’t argue with me that she doesn’t have autism because she absolutely does. she just doesn’t realize that yet. if you asked her “do you have issues communicating with other people” she’d say “no because I plan what I’m going to say in advance and I practice how I’ll respond to everything they ask me”. she does not “stim”. she just happens to start walking back and forth while she’s thinking. you ask her if she experiences extreme distress when plans are changed and she goes “I experience the normal amount of utter agony and rage when my meeting is rescheduled”. if she looked at the dsm criteria for autism she’d be like “no I think everyone experiences that”.

#jurassic world #claire dearing

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lovethatmakingcoffee · 10 months ago

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Lumilla Lopes, @ludylops Post about Forever in English, using English translate

(I will not be adding her links and videos. If you want to see that, you can go on her twitter, here is the link- https://twitter.com/ludylops/status/1744171674378113415)

(Sorry if I messed up by forgetting to translate a tweet)

Hi, I'm 35 years old, I'm a data scientist and I decided to compile a giant thread about the accusation of p3dof1lia against a 27 year old streamer who lives Minecraft. Be patient as there is a lot of information here, complex definitions and delicate topics. The Forever Affair.

I'm a woman, I work in development and data, I make a living doing complex and objective research in the areas of crypto and marketing, environments that I consider very dangerous and in need of more education.

I've loved games since the Pentium 166 and Atari. I've been following the ecosystem for years

First of all, I feel so sorry for the young people who are experiencing so many triggers from this. I see fandom members devastated, and not knowing how to act. It saddens me very much.

I hope with this thread to give you some warmth and direction, through information and personal experiences.

I've been following QSMP since Cellbit joined, and today I only watch it from POV@oibagi(o/ Jorges) and some lore summary videos. I think the context is enough for now. Well, let's go.

Forever is not p3dof1lo. But it's not right either.

Calm down, breathe, follow the thread 👇

I mean, I can't even say that, because I'm not a psychiatrist and much less had the opportunity to talk to and analyze the boy.

For the same reason, no one can say otherwise, so he cannot receive this diagnosis until a doctor analyzes and diagnoses him.

Come, follow 👇

This issue is extremely complex among experts in both the medical and legal fields, so be aware that communities are fighting in a highly minefield with little chance of delivering a positive outcome from all of this.

TRIGGER ALERT

Therefore, I will try to update you as neutrally as possible on what these definitions are today.

📝 What is P3dof1lia?

This word has undergone several changes and classifications over the years. Currently, we must first separate crime from psychiatric disorder.

P3dof1lo Disorder

According to the most recent studies (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, DSM-5), P3dof1lo Disorder is characterized by recurrent and intense fantasies, desires or sexual acts involving children (usually aged 13 or younger).

Because 13 years old? This is where puberty happens, the biological and physiological transition from our child body to a more adult phase. Girls start to develop breasts, menstruate, and boys are proud of their first hairs and their voices become more dysregulated than autotune

However, dear padawans, biology is not an exact science, so entering puberty is not like the evolution of a Pokémon. It can happen at 11, at 15, and it's a process. And this 13-year average estimate is changing over the years.

Studies indicate that, in the 19th century, this number was between 15 and 17 years old, and today we have more and more cases of earlier puberty. And why am I beating around the bush so much on this subject?

Let's go back to the definition of the Disorder. The catch is: the definition of a child is not universal and that is why it causes so much confusion. In fact, the current age of those involved and the complexity of the context are extremely important.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, a child is a “human being in the phase of childhood, from birth to puberty”. Puberty is currently defined at around 13 years of age, but is not exact and varies with the years.

And that is why the age of majority in many countries is 18 years old.

The terms “child” to define P3dophilia Disorder and legal majority are not the same.That is why, in Brazil and in several other countries that are signatories to the Convention on the Rights of the Child, we adopt the term “child and adolescent”, as in our Child and Adolescent Statute, also from 1990.

And here we have 11 years being the divider.

Now, go back to the leaked Forever prints and conversations. There is, to date, no indication that Forever has a disorder that makes him feel constant sexual desires for pre-pubescent children.

This is a fact. But did he commit any crime? There is no “crime of pedof1li4”, just as there is no “crime of ADHD” or “crime of sadism” (sadomasochism is considered a paraphilia, as is pedophilia).

So what crimes are foreseen related to this topic?

In the Brazilian criminal code we have:

👉 The 3rd rape of Vulnerable

(Remember that this definition was only included in 2009. At that time I was already in college, that is, all these definitions are still very recent and cause a lot of confusion even among experts.)

👉 Child Pornography

"Present, produce, sell, provide, disseminate or publish, through any means of communication, including the world wide web or the internet, photographs or images containing pornography, or scenes of explicit sex involving children or adolescents."

Leaving the field of crimes against children and adolescents, we still have:

👉 S3xual Harassment

Everything that has been released about Forever so far does not seem to fit into any of the crimes presented.

But does this mean that the attitude he had in 2016/2017 is morally correct?

No. But history is made to change the future, not the past

Take a test for me: ask your parents what gender identity issues were like when they were younger. Or what are neutral pronouns.

Why do you think that so many people are only coming out now?

If we were to condemn all past attitudes by the morals of the present, from the millennials behind, everyone would be cancelled. And you will be canceled in a few years too.

History is made for us to learn from it and change the future.

Why do we subject ourselves to entering a history classroom and reading about slavery, Nazism, racism, machismo? To do different in the future.

But the past is in the past. New laws cannot apply to attitudes made before their conception. Nor moral values.

What we colloquially call today “pedof1li4” is often not related to psychiatric disorder but rather to the result of a patriarchal culture where women need to be much younger than men.

Therefore, the 20, 21 year old Forever was not supposedly expressing a sexual desire for pre-pubescent children, but rather replicating and continuing an ancient culture where women mature much earlier than men.

Therefore, a 15-year-old girl would be on equal terms playing and trash talking with a 21-year-old adult.

However, today we know that this is a lie and the trauma it causes women.

But what's wrong?

The definition of “harassment” may need to be updated.

In Brazilian legislation, Sexual Harassment is applied in an employment context, such as a boss who makes sexual jokes to an intern, and she does not defend herself for fear of losing her job.

However, I have been observing that, with the emergence of the internet and social networks, teen idols are increasingly closer to their fans.

The influence and power that an idol can represent for their teenage fans is comparable to that of a boss in the workplace.

Teenagers harass idols. They send nudes on Instagram. And knowing how to deal with this is still something very new, as the idols are also new.

It is in this fertile field of uncertainty that the cancellation gains strength, and it hinders this debate rather than helping it.

The dangers of cancellation When I see comments about “the Order Paranormal community is toxic, the QSMP community is toxic, the community canceled Jão again” I don't even understand where these discussions are taking place.

In the past, communities were formed in centralized environments, such as forums and chats.

I found out it was on Twitter and Tiktok. Which leads me to the question: how on earth does a Twitter community exist? Twitter even has a recent community tool, but it is still underused.

All the thousands of information and opinions on the subject pop up in millions randomly in each person's feed depending on what the algorithm chooses for them. It is almost impossible to build a chronology or logical line of facts posed by fakes that go viral from time to time.

And lost millennial as I am, so are journalists, advertisers, legal advisors and all the professionals who have the sad task of trying to extract as much information as possible from this chaotic world and take some action with their team of influencers or clients. Poor boomer judges who have to deal with cybercrime cases. Justice is slow. However, Twitter is too fast. Judge and demand action immediately.

At the time of this thread, Forever has already lost followers and mentions on pages, risking losing projects.

What we have now are creators giving up on their projects, abandoning their communities, all because we still don't know how to deal with the social and technological changes that are getting faster every day. Misinformation spreads faster than information.

Of crimes against honor

If being a young asshole in the past is not a crime, imputing false crimes and unfairly attacking a person's honor is. In legislation we have 3 crimes associated with honor: Slander, defamation and insult.

Anonymous profile does not save.

Each generation has something to teach, but also to learn from the previous one. I saw the internet grow.

This isn't nostalgic talk about “ICQ was still good”. Crosses. But I lived the world without the internet, and with the internet.

Returning to my personal perspective, I started an engineering course in 2007.

There were only 2 women in the room. Not only did I experience all kinds of machismo and harassment, I also practiced a lot of female rivalry. And homophobia. Several of these women are my best friends today.

Many of them I don't even want to see painted gold, but many of my colleagues who shared photos of me in bikinis when WhatsApp came out are my best friends today.

As? IM crazy? Uninformed? No.

As time went by, I was able to see what was a portrait of a sick society, and what was an individual character. Together, as friends, we discussed a lot. We fight. We touch wounds. We learn.

Some of the college “catchers” and bullies even took on a new sexuality when they came to terms with themselves, and saw a safer world emerging. We eliminated from our vocabulary expressions such as “viadinho”, “mute servant”, “samba do creole doido”.

We learn to accept the consequences of our actions. Therefore, those who remained after this whole process were worth taking for life.

But this all takes time. Search. Study. Anonymity allows this.

However, these young public figures are being pressured to go through this process in public, and without time.

They need to post a mature statement within minutes, as mentions accumulate on Twitter.

#qsmp #quackity smp #forever #discourse #qsmpforever #qsmp forever #q!forever #foreverplayerg

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caeliangel · 7 months ago

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oh please bless me with more of your dsm referrals, my dear self diagnosed majesty that excuses their isolation by claiming they have 29 disorders

I'm professionally diagnosed tf is you on once again ! Wow a fakeclaimer!

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dissociativediscourse · 1 year ago

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Since I got blocked by someone for no reason after trying to explain it earlier, thought I’d make a little post to clear this up, complete with sources! CDD is not a term meant to cover all dissociative disorders (Hence, “Complex”. It’s meant to distinguish DID et al. from things like DP/DR, dissociative fugue, standalone dissociative amnesia… et cet.) , and spitting vitriol at people who use that term for no reason is distasteful and shows that you don’t actually desire to fight misinformation, but instead to impose your fight response onto innocent bystanders. Don’t worry, I’ve been there, too. Trauma responses suck. It still makes you an asshole, though, just as much as I was one when I would do the same.

(A note, this user is not one I had seen in syscourse before today, and I was planning on this being just… Me dropping in, ignoring the rest of the vitriol, and maybe leaving behind a morsel of positive vibes and a tad bit of corrected misinfo without actually being combative about it. Another note, dear fuck, was it a lot of hatred and vitriol. This was on an opinion post about how one person believed that endos are inherently ableist, and I guess someone used the term CDD in the comments, which led the same user as well as another user to pull out all this (very rudely worded, might I add) mishegas about ‘don’t refer to me with your new terms!! i am a DID system not a CDD system!!’ and then ‘yadda yadda, CDDs are all dissociative disorders and don’t mean just the system ones yadda yadda.’ This ticked me off a little. Directing that kind of behavior at other people is unacceptable, especially considering you’re not even correct!! So I left a warm-spirited comment something along the lines of “Just so you know, CDD does just mean DID/OSDD! It can be muddied up and confusing sometimes, but it is used at least colloquially among specialists/professionals, and is referenced in some clinical research and peer reviewed writings as well. It’s really just shorthand that’s more succinct!” And when I replied a second time with some sources to help out (no room in the first comment), to my surprise… Blocked! So… Lmao. Here we are, I already had all these sources ready, so why not. Also, if you see this, person I will not name, try to think about why you are so reluctant to accept new information that does not fit your worldview, and why you have to be so… Nasty? About it. I get you’re young and you’re traumatized, just like most of us. You’ve got to learn how to work with others in a productive way. You’ve got to learn how to mitigate that vitriol. It’s not healthy for you, and I promise you you will regret it later on. Sooner than you’d think. I know I very much regret the way I used to behave.)

Very clear on the definition, also a very useful read in general: https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-022-03970-8

“DID and the closely related Other Specified Dissociative Disorders, example 1 (OSDD), where similar disturbances are observed without meeting the full clinical picture of DID, are commonly categorized as Complex Dissociative Disorders (CDD)”

(This is followed by a citation, which links to “Dissociation and the Dissociative Disorders: DSM-V and Beyond”, edited by Paul F. Dell, John A. O'Neil.)

This one’s similar: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35695685/

“Complex dissociative disorders (CDD) include dissociative identity disorder (DID) and the most common other specified dissociative disorder (OSDD, type 1).”

Another one: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15299732.2014.949020

“There is a paucity of empirical data to assist clinicians in choosing interventions to use with patients with complex dissociative disorder (DD; i.e., dissociative identity disorder and dissociative disorder not otherwise specified) at different stages in treatment.”

I could continue, but I think the point has been made.

Spitting vitriol helps no one, firstly, and secondly, I’m honestly quite appalled at being randomly blocked for (very cordially, might I add) offering an explanation of what the term CDD meant — which you had improperly defined in your comment. Considering the rudeness with which you spread misinformation and the venomous nature both of you involved seem to have exhibited throughout that exchange, it’s plain to me that your interest doesn’t lie with actually being correct. You just want to be pissy at people.

Again, I was once there. Exactly the same spot you’re in. And then I grew up.

I hope therapy treats you well.

#syscourse #Is that really what I used to be like?#I am very sorry 😅

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