#˖˚ joi opens their heart ⊹₊

[jois-trinketbox]

I swear this is the whole reason I made this sideblog in the first place because as a Nort discourse lover, I looked at Ansem specifically for way too long and my cope for XehaBraig/XigXem is STRONG so this is how Ansem fits into their dynamic!!!

In the old engine Ansem has this blue/purple-ish tint, sometimes it's visible in KHIII's lighting

Doesn't look like much at first because Xemnas and Xigbar's hair isn't tinted in the old engine but KHIII gives us blue tint Xems and purple tint Xigs (stole Larxene's shampoo or smth cause she went from platinum blonde to yellow)

Both Xigbar and Ansem are on the defensive side in battle, floating around while Xemnas goes into offense more like Xehanort does, somewhere in DDD/KH3 it was implied Ansem chose his own looks SOOO he chose to be more on the lean side like Braig??? You can't tell me Riku will be lean when he's 30 in the future bro is already too buff for that (Note Ansem still decided to be slightly taller than Xemnas lol)

Then there's this entire damn scene man this is probably the biggest cope of my life when I say Terranort is following Braig's movement and straight past Ansem TW. I say desperately first guy he looks at after losing his memory is Braig!!! Xemnas cannot deny the allegations.

Do not forget the war lineup in KHIII. I'll be so honest I first only thought Xigs pairs with Ansem and Repliku because Repliku replaced Demyx BUT still kinda off Xigs is paired with Ansem when he's clearly Xemnas' right hand man and bestie?? SO THE DEAL HERE

ANSEM IS XIGXEM'S KID!! Xigbar is spending final quality time with his child!!!

ok you can put me in the rubber room now

[vaguely-concerned]

the question is who taught lucanis to knit. was it something he already knew how to do or is he picking it up over the course of the game as part of his 'if I manage to cram enough hobbies in there I won't have to sleep again ever. easy' experiment. did he learn it out of a book (as a sometime knitter, a horrifying thought but I wouldn't put it past him). as hilarious as I find the mental image of caterina with knitting needles I do not believe in it, did he pick it up from someone in the household staff growing up the same way he did cooking. is the sweater he wears with his introductory armour his own work (very funny if so it's just so. incredibly neutral toned and sensible.) I understand why he never does it on screen because animating knitting is the devil's own work and bioware were right to dodge right past it no one should wish themselves that kind of pain, but do you think off-screen he's using it the same way davrin does whittling during team meetings and book club nights (for real the grandmas were so right for this: knitting during social group situations is a neurodivergent life hack like you wouldn't believe if doodling isn't your thing/isn't doing it for you). it's that or sharpening his knives and some people seem to get a bit nervous about that so he mostly sticks to the knit one purl one of it all. does he make things for the team. for romanced rook perhaps. boring but useful things like socks and scarves, to be clear. I think mr. 'I made you a cake (cautiously marital intent)' would not mean to impress just make sure your feet weren't cold jogging around the heights of athim killing darkspawn. knitting more socks for harding so she won't get cold walking around everywhere in her fereldan *checks notes written on palm* clogs. some of taash' outfits... you think rook and lucanis are letting them walk around the anderfels like that without at least a token sensible scarf on even tho adaari are built different in terms of body temperature. I say no not in my lighthouse they would team up and mother hen them to shathann levels before they'd let that happen. (the scarf has dragons on it taash thinks it's kind of cool actually.) a bobble hat for manfred not because he really needs it but because he wanted to feel included. assan indignantly tries to steal it and fly away with it so he gets his own scarf to promote peace between the lighthouse little guys and it works. help.

[secriden]

Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so grateful for the journey Fadel is forced to take in episode 9. In previous meta posts, I shared my thoughts on how the show chose to tackle previous discussions about 'love': for eg Episode 4 was really a promise of safety (which tragically becomes unfounded) and Episode 5 was really an exploration of trust and trust betrayed -- but I think Episode 9 is finally when we are dealing with love in a head-on collision between Style's unflinching commitment to stay by Fadel's side and Fadel's anger and fear of loving; a conflict which utterly demolished the last of Fadel's crumbling walls.

Because, while Episode 8 did give us this beautifully tender moment of shared camaraderie -- one where they were both filled with wonder at witnessing the way love can overcome hurt and anger, the way forgiveness can make a pathway to happiness; and a moment they were both aware of and wordlessly acknowledged to each other -- it was, unfortunately, also almost immediately tainted by this:

You can see the resignation and cynicism in the way Fadel is holding himself. This wasn't a betrayal from Style, but it was a harsh reminder for Fadel that love can be deceptive and harmful no matter the guise. Even when it (love) isn't aimed at him, he winds up betrayed (deceived) and in danger, and literally hurting (it's the first time Fadel overtly shows how much pain his broken arm is causing him), and it makes sense why we see Fadel harden once again after this point.

And as frustrating as it was for us to watch, I'm also glad that the show made room for Fadel's retreat behind the last of his walls. Because at the core of Fadel's fear is the experience he’s had that love, and more importantly loving, has always brought him pain: the traumatic and sudden loss of his parents and the cruelty of a lover who (maybe? I have my suspicions...) chose not to stay with him were both lessons Fadel has deeply rooted in his heart; a fear which his desire and now love for Style is constantly at war with.

Which is why we see Fadel so firmly choosing resistance at this point. Everything about his demeanour and the harshness of his words depicts a cornered animal with his hackles raised in self-defence. You can almost see the bared teeth behind his words. He doubles down on the assurance that he will see this decision through, that Style is destined for death by his hands. It's interesting because in Episode 9, Fadel seems to have mostly given up on denying that he has any feelings for Style whenever it's brought up (partly because Style has already made it clear he doesn't believe Fadel when he does), but has instead decided to claim that those feelings aren't strong enough to save Style from Fadel's decision to kill him.

So I kind of love that the narrative immediately forces Fadel face the reality of his claims. For what better retribution could there be than Style dying by becoming tangled up in the very thing he was supposed to put Fadel in jail for? What could be more fitting then to see Style destroyed by the very aspect of Fadel's life that caused Style's betrayal?

And even more, I love that the writers chose to have Style become injured like this. Because of course the boyfriend of a hitman who is on the run from the law was going to be shot -- the trope practically demands it -- but it is just deliciously dramatic that Style gets injured precisely dressed in the clothes he'd picked out so he could "at least die in something that's actually my style" and in the place Fadel said Style would haunt only minutes prior. It forces Fadel to face not only the thought of losing Style, but puts front and centre what it means for Fadel to be the cause of that loss.

Because the thing is, Style only needs to be bait at all because Fadel forgot to bring the extra bullets for his gun; because he does not have a plan when Style asks what they should do. I love that all of Fadel's training, and even his fastidious and careful nature, is being fundamentally compromised because his mind has been too preoccupied with his complicated feelings for Style. Fadel is being forced to face the consequences of choosing to fight against his heart about Style, and that directly puts both their lives in peril. And all Fadel can do is look at Style with a wordless plea to stay safe, even as he watches Style run directly towards danger.

And I love that Style's immediate instinct is to throw himself into the situation to help. There's no hesitation, no momentary pause where Style considers running away and leaving Fadel to handle the gunman alone. Style fully embodies the promise he made to stay by Fadel's side and moreover it shows that, on an instinctive level, Style trusts his life in Fadel's hands (even though we get verbal confirmation later in the episode that Style actually was only about 50% sure that Fadel wasn't actually going to kill him in the end!! That's! Fucking incredible!?!).

Which is also why I think Fadel's anger redirects itself once they get to the island. He's at the end of his rope, a mess of emotions, arm probably still aching and then he sees Kant: the source of not only the very real threat of Fadel and Bison being caught by the police, but also the reason why Style became entangled with Fadel in the first place. Fadel cannot help but lash out at him despite it making no sense to deny Style an additional pair of helping hands and, moreover, the comfort of a true friend that he trusts and who cares about him. Fadel is not thinking clearly, but it's also a sign that the choices he is making are still fuelled more by his anger and hurt then his love.

And again, this makes a certain amount of sense. For Fadel, anger is a familiar friend; something almost comforting, that gives him a sense of control, because he understands what to do with his anger. He understands how to direct his rage in ways that are productive and help to keep the things he cares about safe.

Until, that is, Style puts his life on the line next to Kant's and suddenly the gun in his hand becomes a danger to someone he has already been forced to acknowledge (in the conversation with Bison) that he cannot kill. I adore Style so much for immediately bringing this point up, because it means that Fadel has to actually consider why he didn't just let Style die. If Style had bled out and died from the wound, it wouldn't have technically been Fadel's fault; Style was simply caught in the crossfire. It was, in some ways, a relatively guilt-free way of getting rid of Style. But everything in Fadel rebelled at the thought of letting Style die and Fadel is once again forced to confront why he held Style's hand so tightly in both of his own, why he told Bison to be gentle and careful with Style, why hearing Style yell in pain was agony to Fadel too.

And this beautiful moment of friendship also gives both us, the audience, and Fadel this incredible understanding of Style's loyalty. To Style, the thought of dying next to Kant is not something he resents, but something that merely makes him wistful. And for Fadel, this puts into perspective what it meant for Style to promise to stay by his side; the full weight of Style's devotion is laid out for him to witness, and it's enough to shake Fadel lose from the hold his anger has on him.

But even then, even now, there's still something holding Fadel back and I think it boils down to the fact that Fadel has gone down this path with someone else before, and found only betrayal at the end of the road. He has loved and thought he was loved in return; he was ready to give up his job (his security, his sense of control, his “family”) for someone who he thought he could hide his darkness from and live in happiness whilst keeping the lie between them. It's so interesting to me that Fadel was about to do the exact same thing to Style (try to get out of the hitman life without ever telling Style about it), without knowing that the possibility of it was never on the table for him.

Because Style is the very antithesis of Fadel's ex: not only does Style find out his secret well before love truly blossomed between them, Style has no fear in him (anymore) of it. This gesture is legitimately insane, but it also illustrates how thoroughly Style embraces this aspect of Fadel's past and character. Fadel has just learned a very tangible lesson about Style's loyalty to the people he cares about, so this gesture carries the weight of knowing this matters to Style, despite the carefree manner of his expression. Style gives Fadel the security of knowing that he is making his commitment to Fadel whilst also giving Fadel permission to stay the way he is. Style's love isn't for what Fadel could someday become, but for who he already is, and that encompasses a level of acceptance that is as crazy as one would expect from a person who is in love with a hitman.

And it's just so great that they actually addressed the whole "dated me for a car" thing, because Style is right. Fadel is grasping at the last embers of his anger but all of it is directed at a Style who doesn't even exist anymore. I don't even think Style was avoiding telling Fadel about this; it just genuinely was a non-issue to Style because getting to know Fadel changed so much about Style's motivations (he said as much as early as episode three), that this wasn't even a factor that Style was aware needed to be addressed. But I also appreciate why Fadel insisted on coming back to this -- because I've said before that I think the biggest part of Fadel's hurt and betrayal comes from the thought that Style's interest in him was a lie, so this was important for Fadel to vocalise, especially because it took a certain amount of vulnerability to even admit that this bothered him that much. So as silly as I personally found this plot point to be, I'm glad the show actually decided to have our boys talk explicitly about it.

But my absolutely favourite part is that the final hurdle, the thing that ultimately makes Fadel completely let go of his anger and resentment is Style threatening to drown himself (or at least make his wound become infected). Partly because it was the exact kind of hilariously overdramatic gesture that feels fitting for Style, but mostly because this gesture opens the door for Fadel to finally (literally) take steps towards Style. Fadel's previous actions in this episode -- making sure Style was stitched up after he was shot and letting Kant live after he threatened to kill him --- were both incredibly significant, but largely leaves the relationship between them at a stalemate because for the most part Fadel is reacting to the circumstances whilst still maintaining the emotional distance between them. But what Style wants, ultimately, is not just to survive this very lethal roadtrip but to actually bring about a mending of their relationship and for Fadel show that it's what he wants too.

And I've seen some call this manipulative, but I think Style actually does understand Fadel well enough to be accurate in this claim. I've mentioned before that Style seems to have an almost instinctive understanding of when to push Fadel and when to back off (in this meta post on ep 5), and I think we're finally seeing a moment when Style could tell Fadel needed a little nudge. And the reality is that Style wasn't in any real danger, but it shows us just how much of Fadel's walls have been dismantled that Fadel's concern for Style overwrote his logic and reason.

And I just find it so lovely how it cumulates in Fadel kissing Style because it's an expression of his own desire. If Fadel had kissed Style at any point between the confrontation by the empty pool and before this moment, I think it would have, at least somewhat, felt like Fadel was giving into Style's demands (for his attention, for his affection, for his forgiveness). But this moment is different because it's Fadel giving into himself -- because Fadel doesn't truly want to hold on to his anger anymore.

And this journey was so important, so necessary because it's the reason why Fadel is able to be so completely transformed by the end of episode 9. We see him become almost carefree in his affection, everything about it is open and honest and loud in a way Fadel has never been able to be before this point, and it was only possible -- only realistic from a narrative standpoint -- because the show took the time and made space in the story for Fadel to have to face the truth of his love for Style over and over again.

Because this vulnerability, this clear comfort he feels around Style, this ability to rest in Style's arms, was only possible because Fadel was forced to grapple with the full depth of his love for Style and found forgiveness and happiness and peace in letting go of the last of his fear of being in love — and in doing so, proved the truth of Styles words in episode 4: “It’s okay to (be in) love”.

[ksjanes]

I will never know the full spectrum of emotions and experiences in this lifetime. How much am I willing to open my heart, to experience emotions that not only fill me with joy but also break me?

K.S. Janes

[meteortrails]

forever thinking about nami and luffy…. they just. their relationship is so perfectly, consistently, and beautifully written?? (read more bc I care WAY too much about them).

like it would be so easy to slot them into the typical dynamic of her being a buzzkill and him being a reckless dick but that’s not them at all. she’s the first person he meets out on the sea who really, deeply understands what freedom means to him, how vital and important it is - it’s why she’s the one he lets hold and fix his hat, it’s why he waits until she asks him to help with arlong, it’s why he never begrudges her any of her actions in arlong park. he knows her autonomy is just as important to her as his is to him, that she fucking Gets It. she has the same joy and whimsy and protective instinct in her heart, and like recognizes like!!! so luffy lets nami run the day to day of the ship, order him around, hold his greatest treasure in her hands, bc he trusts that when the chips come down she will never abuse that power. she’ll have his back and follow through on whatever insane orders he has his heart set on bc she knows the weight of what she’s been entrusted with.

and like, in return, nami gets exactly as much responsibility as she wants for the first time in her life! she doesn’t have to be alone, doesn’t have to protect everything that matters all on her own - she has luffy and the crew for that now. she gets to be part of a crew, a family, while still remaining in charge of her own life. and in response to all that trust and love, nami is just as protective of luffy and this new home as she ever was of cocoyashi. he gave her back her freedom and put his dream in her hands without a second thought, and she will keep it safe come hell or high fucking water. like I don’t know how to express how emphatically I feel about this but she won’t betray him even to save her own life, even when he would never fucking know!!! nami often ends up being luffy’s primary pillar of emotional support bc she’s just such a consistently steady, faithful presence at his back; even when they disagree on important shit her trust in his judgement and ability to get them through the storm is unshakeable, and vice versa.

idk man I just really do not know how to express how much it matters to me that nami is canonically a ruthless, conniving, deathly stubborn, control freak bitch and that’s like. lowkey WHY luffy+the crew love her so much. idk how to explain how batshit insane the symbolism of her being his navigator and him being her captain makes me.

[vellichorsdesire]

my selfship commissions are currently CLOSED!

all information and prices are above, it’s important to note though that all of these prices have two characters as the default!! if you’re interested, feel free to dm me on here (or on discord, which has the same username!) i’d be happy to answer any questions as well : D

i also have a kofi if you feel much more comfortable requesting from there… i offer another option that i didn’t add to the commission sheet above, a doodle page!

you can view my commission queue here on trello!

—

taglist (thank you so much 🫶 thank you as well to @idolyuris & @yuutx for letting me use their selfship as art examples!! ):

@kazenomegaminowanpisu @scrunkalicious @milkmallow28 @hauntedhallwayzzz

[wildsaltair]

stabbing and twisting a rusted metal pitchfork into my ribcage would be less painful than having to watch Maximus die

[delilahmidnight]

Bro genuinely all they have to do now is have Lisa say something about being Carla's safe place or safe space (and mean it) and that is it, I will literally combust and shatter into a million fragments of lesbian transcendence. You will not be able to kill me in any way that matters

[simmetrybby]

ts2 premades extras pt.3

Made a character page if anyone is interested

[jois-trinketbox]

⋅ — MASTERLIST ⌈Utilizing sideblog feature accordingly for fictional characters and lore thought sessions because I am inconveniently obsessed⌋ — ⋅

General fandom/ multi fandom talk tag · #˖˚🍈 joi's trinket drops ⊹₊

specific prominent fandom tags:

Kingdom Hearts · #˖˚ joi opens their heart ⊹₊

RWBY · #˖˚ joi talks rwby ⊹₊

Nier · #˖˚ joi talks nier ⊹₊

(Rare) Monster Hunter · #˖˚ joi rawrs w/o earplugs ⊹₊

[thatfriendlyanon]

IF I FINISH THESE FORMS I'M GONNA REWARD MYSELF WITH SOME FUN TONGIHT GOSHDARNIT

[whump-in-the-closet]

all 12 of my followers are actually trapped in a labyrinth and they have to listen to me monologuing over a speaker alllll the time

[jewishvitya]

חודש אלול. מה שאומר שנראה אנשים יום אחד מסיתים לרצח עם וחוגגים כי ילדים מתים בעזה, וביום הבא עושים תשליך ומתפללים עבור מחילה.

מנחם אותי לדעת שעל עבירות שבין האדם לחברו יום כיפור לא מכפר.

[shehungthemoon]

im going through so much right now

[itspileofgoodthings]

1 and 5 for introspective asks?

1. What have you been thinking about lately underneath all your other thoughts? What’s a consistent internal hum?

That I need to talk to God more! And it's morphing (slowly, sloooooooowly) into something I am less afraid of and more of an awareness of a Loving Presence that I can and should and want to speak to more.

I have ALSO --not related at all-- been reflecting on how growing up and growing older and "getting better" (so to speak, especially re: anxiety) often doesn't mean the problems go away. it just means that you feel differently about them. I HATED that concept even just a few years ago--I still do hate it often! ---but also, sometimes, often, the stuff that makes me anxious STILL EXISTS, and I'm still plagued by the SAME WORRIES, and the SAME PROBLEMS, but literally my emotions about them have changed. I've accepted them more and so they've shrunk down to a more manageable size. And it's kind of funny because I was always right to be anxious, in a sense. The intuition about what to be afraid of was dead on, even down to specific scenarios that would trigger me feeling really upset. But it's just. I am just a little less upset now and not because one iota of the problem has changed but just because of time, I guess. Literal experience that unpleasant things won't kill me. Exposure therapy to continued circumstances where things turn out more or less okay. Honestly getting bored. Like. it's just like "okay damn that's how this is going to be, oh well i need to go eat something" etc. I am simply less dramatic in the halls of my own mind and that, I believe, is a gift of time and getting older. And I can't wait for it to keep goingggggggggggg. Soon I will have NO PROBLEMS that bother me aT ALL. (Just kidding.)

Did even a single word of this make sense. I'm so sorry.

5. What are you grateful for?

I am grateful, once again, for my job. Even though i have so much grading to do tomorrow and it is the WORST. And even though sometimes it makes me want to cry or scream. but it really does just heal that extrovert part of me and it makes me feel like part of a community even when I don't want to be and actually --can't tell if this is super vain of me or super common man human core of me--but I just like that I'm around a bunch of people who know me and greet me???? Like i LITERALLY used to walk around my college campus and I was always so sad because no one knew who I was (I was always kind of on the outside in college and wasn't part of any groups and didn't live in the dorms and never quite fit in anywhere) and now I come out of a building on the campus of the school I teach or I walk down the halls and I know most of the people and they know me. Kids shout at me when they see me across a parking lot. And even if they're just shouting at me to ask me what grade they got on their final (as a kid did to me on Friday lol) it always kind of heals me.

[dent-de-leon]

And Essek was crying over Molly even *before* the body was resurrected. "It's just not fair" etc

yeSS that moment is just!! so good! And says so much about his character arc--

I've said this before, but what really gets me is that you can pinpoint the exact moment when Essek's heart starts to ache for Molly. The moment Essek "gets up in a huff"? When he storms off because he just can't fight back the tears any longer? It's right after he sees Caleb say his heartbroken goodbye to Mollymauk--finally returns that forehead kiss.

It's seeing that all too familiar sign of Caleb's love that makes Essek really feel for Mollymauk, makes him break down and shed tears for this person he's never even met. But he knew that Caleb loved him--that all of the Mighty Nein did--and just that was enough.

Before the resurrection ritual began, Essek isn't just skeptical. He's scared. "Are you sure this is even wise to attempt?" The rest of them are alive, and he just can't comprehend why Caleb would dare risk that for someone bound to Lucien's fate. And yet, after seeing the Nein express their love for this stranger again and again, seeing Caleb look actually defeated for the very first time? It shakes something in him.

There's something to Essek asking, "Caleb Widogast, have you ever accepted defeat?" The way Caleb admits so hopelessly, "Maybe today. For the first time." That makes me wonder if...Essek didn't briefly consider alternative ways to bring Mollymauk back. For a moment, I wonder if his thoughts even flitted back to that time travel circle in Aeor. I think losing Mollymauk for good would have made that possibility all the more tempting for Caleb.

Essek insisting it's just not fair? Looking at Caleb and asking him if he was truly giving up--if that's something he's even capable of? It just...makes me wonder. If the Divine Intervention never saved Tealeaf, if Essek had to just watch Caleb mourn and grieve and admit defeat? I think he was really considering for a moment if there were other means of reaching Molly's soul. If there was still some way to reunite Caleb and the rest of the Nein with this person they so dearly loved.

Also, if I recall correctly--when the Nein were working out the logistics of some teleportation spells in the reunion, Kingsley kept suggesting they give Essek a call. It would be just so fun to see them interact is what I'm saying--