#´ ･ . ✶muse; 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘳 ⦅ HERO ⦆

[moonsmultimusings]

❛  how  does  it  feel  to  be  you  ?  ❜ // from mari to hero if that's okay !!

'The Human Condition' Lyrics - Accepting ☾

It was nights like this Hero didn't realize weren't going to be as plentiful as he thought. If he'd have known how few of them remained, he would have treasured them far more.

The pair of them were sitting out beside the lake in their 'secret hiding place,' the spot hidden behind the trees of Faraway Park. With the sun setting off on the horizon, the sky just beginning to shift to deep indigo from shades of pink and orange, the pair of them were seated on her picnic blanket. The long shadows cast by the corners over the red and white squares were a reminder that they'd need to head home soon. Aubrey and Kel were getting out the last of their energy out running around the lake, while Sunny stuck close by Mari's side, asleep with his head resting on her lap. Basil remained nearby, camera on hand.

Their little moments like this, getting the quiet where they could, always seemed like the best time for them to have conversations. It was easier to talk when they had the others around somehow, to be more honest. Sure, it was still a bit embarrassing, knowing that Basil might decide to snap a photo at any moment, but it seemed the blonde was distracted at the moment. Thus, he could answer her question as honestly as his heart wanted to.

'How did it feel to be him?' For as broad as the question as, he surprised himself with how quickly an answer rose to mind, and he didn't attempt to stop it before it slipped out of his mouth. “It feels easier with you by my side.” He… probably should've vetted that one a bit more before it left his lips, as it felt more than a bit corny. He hadn't quite intended that, considering how genuine the sentiment behind it was. He let out a sheepish chuckle at himself. “Sorry… was that a bit too much?” He hadn't even put the charm on enough to try and play it off as a joke, nor did he want to take back the sentiment entirely. “I just meant that I don't know how I could manage all of this without you.” Helping to take care of Kel, Aubrey, Basil, and Sunny didn't feel as overwhelming when he had her help in watching over them.

He turned his head to her, resisting the urge to scoot in closer, to lay his hand over hers. The last thing he wanted to do was disturb Sunny. “Thank you, Mari. For being there for me.” There was so much more he could thank her for, that he should've said to her, had he not been concerned about shattering the moment, the soft peace between them brought on by the warm colors and the reflections of the day's final lights on the ripples of the lake.

[moonsmultimusings]

Flowers were something of an easy catch-all that Hero had learned. If he needed to apologize to his mother for a minor slip-up, he would get her a bouquet. When he wanted an offering to give to Mari now that she was awake, flowers would do. He wondered whether it had something to do with Basil's influence, after having heard him speak so extensively to Sunny about the meaning of different flowers and helping him to grow them sometimes.

In any case, it worked out here as well as it did anywhere else. She clearly appreciated the gift, and he managed to offer it to her well enough to earn a light blush. It was nice, to be on the other side of that feeling. He could understand a bit better why she liked teasing him so much to earn it, considering the sense of satisfaction he had upon seeing it. Not that it would make him any less embarrassed once she had the upper hand on him again to return the gesture. In the meantime, though, it was nice that they could have such conversations again, and that he could avoid sullying the more lighthearted conversation with something unnecessarily sad. Even speaking with her at all had felt like a distant dream only a week ago.

“I wouldn't be surprised if you end up with more than one by the time the weekend is over. You should probably save the table space for something nicer.” Her family was likely to bring her one, and he didn't doubt that Basil would want to bring something over for her. Either one of those would likely be more meaningful than the one he'd bought over at Fix-It on his rushed way over here. He was glad that she'd appreciated them, though. For now, they were what she had, the smallest thing he could think to offer her to express the jumble of feelings he had. “I'll need to let Mom know I'm back sometime soon… She'll end up worrying if I don't call her.” That said, he'd rather not let her know that he skipped class to be here.

𝑨 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀 𝑷𝑯𝑶𝑻𝑶 ? She remembered how much of a struggle that was at her house. Sunny was either too young to sit still or just flat out refused to take a photo of himself. In most of their photos she’s either holding her younger brother’s hand or holding him, that way he’d agree to the family photos. While it had made mom UPSET that Sunny didn’t like photos she usually got over it due to how cute it was to see him holding his older sister’s hand. Dad had been the same. Really the only person who had been able to take photos of the boy was Basil. His album was filled to the brim of the friend group, it had been something he LOVED doing so much, she was happy to hear he was still taking pictures.

━━━ ❝ I’d love to see his album ❞ Mari smiled, while she knew it wasn’t up to Hero if she could see the photos or not it was something to look forward to. Even if the photos only went a year after she was hospitalised she’d be happy, she just wanted to know everyone was safe & happy.

Mari glanced down to their joined hands, a soft blush coming across her still pale face. She was so happy she could still do this, that they could still be this close after so long. Even if she KNEW there were some things Hero wasn’t ready to talk to her about. She was just about to say something as the male spoke up again, talking about the flowers that had been so quickly forgotten about.

She smiled, looking down at the bouquet. It was beautiful & would definitely bring some life to her so empty hospital room. She moved her free hand to touch the soft petals, looking over to Hero as he gave a wink. She couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, his antics doing no good for her already flushed cheeks. It was funny to be the one embarrassed, it had always been the other way around. ❝ we will have to ask the nurse for a water vase, they’re too pretty to just let wilt on the table ❞

[moonsmultimusings]

@halovin sent: ❛ I’ve always believed in you. ❜ from Kel to Hero (reassuring sentence starters) ☾

There were times -- often, in fact -- that Hero had to wonder about the way people saw his brother. He was aware of the sort of perception people had of the two of them. That he was the mature, near-perfect older brother, while Kel was more of a fixer-upper of a younger brother. It even seemed like their parents held a similar belief sometimes, at least to some extent. He couldn't have disagreed more with the assessment. Kel was far kinder, far more mature than people gave him credit for. Than even he seemed aware of.

He knew his brother, could argue well for his firm belief in this. Especially after Mari's untimely death. They'd all taken it hard, himself and Sunny especially, but this didn't excuse Hero's behavior. He shouldn't have lashed out, and especially not at someone whom he cared so much about. It had all been so overwhelming, with so many questions left behind. But again, none of this could serve to excuse what he'd said. They had both been suffering the loss at that time, and it wasn't fair for him not to acknowledge his brother's struggles. It was, beneath his lack of awareness about what must have been going on inside of Mari's head (and his wish that he could've done something more to prevent her from doing what she'd done), one of his greatest regrets.

It wouldn't be fair to say that he was 'over it' now. He wasn't sure he'd ever be over it. But his mood had leveled out more since then. It didn't feel like he was as consistently on the verge of… crying, or yelling, or having a breakdown. And that in itself was an improvement.

And yet, despite him coming back to apologize to his brother for what he'd done, he was still met with encouragement. That was just the sort of person Kel was. He couldn't help but let out a chuckle of surprise. “Kel… You're a great little brother, you know?” He didn't know if he deserved such a kind sibling, and yet here he was. “And you're doing that on top of being such a supportive older brother for Sally?” He'd be remiss if he didn't comment on how much responsibility his brother had taken up after he'd left for college. “It's amazing. Really.”

“C'mere!” Reaching out, he pulled his brother into a hug. Now that they were around the same height, he didn't feel as much like a big brother anymore.

[moonsmultimusings]

@sleeplesswork

As anyone would expect, working on a pre-med program in college wasn't an easy task. It was something even Hero struggled with. He had a fairly high work ethic and a great desire to succeed, though one could argue this was undercut in part by Mari's condition. As often as he'd be attending classes on campus and working on homework, he would always try to return every week, if only for an afternoon, in order to check on Mari. To speak with her.

It was a question he had for every professor who might know: how aware could someone be in a coma? Would they understand what was happening around them, be aware of what was taking place? Or was it a state of complete and total unconsciousness, to where she would have no idea that she wasn't still fifteen when she awoke? There wasn't a consensus he'd heard. Yet regardless, he found himself updating her on how things were going at home when he stopped by. Mentioning Kel's points in basketball games, upcoming tests, and how Sally was growing. Even if he was talking to no one, thinking that there was any chance his words may reach her was worthwhile.

Thus, when Kel called him with the update that she was awake, there was some part of him, inane as it was, that was a little disappointed that he hadn't been there to see her. It was silly. He ought to be happy she was awake at all, and he was. It was the very next day that he returned from campus to see her, fully intending to skip a lecture class in order to attend. He'd just take care of the reading at home around class and make up for it. Seeing her for the first time in so long was far more important. He made a quick stop off at Fix-It to buy a white bouquet for her, and then he hurried to the hospital.

Admittedly, he was a bit winded by the time he made it up to her room. He may have been running a little fast. There was a chance she still had no energy and was just sleeping right now, but he couldn't fight the innate desire to check on her. To see her with her eyes open again for the first time in four years.

“…Mari?” He forced himself to ask quietly as he stepped into her room. If she was sleeping, he shouldn't burst in and disturb her, as excited as he felt at the prospect of speaking with her again. He wouldn't mind waiting for her sake.

[moonsmultimusings]

“Nothing I do will ever be good enough, will it?” -[from @hikikomari]

random dialogue sentence starters - Accepting ☾

For as positive as Mari could seem, she was still human. Hero knew that much. She was a wonderful human, sure -- a role model, a beacon of positivity -- but she was still a human. A person who had her flaws, her insecurities, her doubts. One of the greatest he'd seen in her was her perfectionism. She was always so hard on herself when she wasn't watching over the others with him. In some ways, it was difficult to understand how someone as talented as she was could ever doubt herself. If she could see what he knew he saw in her, she'd realize she had no reason for these doubts.

But she never seemed to, did she? He put forth every effort to help her out, but she struggled nonetheless. It didn't feel like a personal failing, per se. He didn't want to think that he may have been letting her down somehow. Rather, it was a sign that he ought to change strategies. She was well worth the effort. Seeing her smile genuinely, the way her eyes would crinkle when she grinned at Sunny, the laugh she'd let out at Kel's overconfidence during their games of cards up in the treehouse, the gentle assistance she would offer Basil with his plants, the encouraging positivity she could always manage to muster up for Aubrey… He wanted to keep seeing these. To find some way to give her the sort of freedom she'd need to continue expressing these things. All of the traits he loved about her, an endless list of admirations he could shower her with if she wouldn't find some way to turn it around and fluster him instead.

He'd heard it for himself, how often she'd been playing recently. When he was outside or when the window in his and Kel's room was down, he could hear it. Especially at night, much too late. He'd considered hopping the fence once or twice to try and send her to bed to make sure she was rested for class, but he hadn't mustered up the courage to do it just yet. She was worried about this recital. Sunny must have been, too, considering how often he was practicing as well. With the two of them working together, he had no doubts that it would be amazing.

“Mari…” The tone he addressed her with was quiet. Gentle. His brows knit down in concern. She'd pointed out before that it wasn't unlike the sort of face Kel would make. “I know prep school hasn't been easy for you… And I'm sure you must be nervous about your recital, too.” He wished he was better with his words sometimes. Especially in her case. “But we'll all be there to support you. Mom's planning to buy Kel a whole new outfit to go in!” His attempt at lightening the mood seemed to fall a little flat. It wasn't exactly untrue, though… His brother had spilled Orange Joe all over his last formal outfit.

He should probably just stick to the topic at hand. “You're more than good enough for us. You're amazing.” He offered her a warm smile, and one he hoped could be half as reassuring as ones she'd given him in the past. “I'm sure you and Sunny are going to play beautifully up there together.” And when she was done? He'd be standing in the audience with a bouquet of roses to hand her. He'd already been sizing them up at Fit-It. “And if you need help preparing anything else in the meantime, just let me know! I'll be over right away.” He'd never minded dropping everything for her sake before. Now was no different.

[moonsmultimusings]

“Let me give you a hand, those boxes look heavy!” // Hero !!

Moving back and forth, in and out of college, was always a burden. Hero was a special case in that his experience was even worse than the norm. Bogged down by a lack of energy and a lack of a desire to return home — to the house right next to hers — didn't make him any more eager to throw everything into the car and bring it all back. Knowing his parents, they'd want to help him move out, and he'd rather take care of it himself without burdening them. Thus, he was working on doing it himself, having not given them the date. He, too, had to schedule it around attending one of Kel's games along with helping out some college acquaintances he couldn't bring himself to say no to.

Another note? Physically, Hero wasn't the strongest. He didn't have too much stamina. Kel was always much stronger in that regard, much better at sports. Moving out, then, was going to be a burden. Not only was it a lot of walking back and forth, packing things up knowing he'd be bringing it all back in just a few months, but it was a lot of heavy lifting. Talk about draining. He was working on carrying a stack of boxes a little too high, balancing them precariously as he trudged them out to the car.

“Let me give you a hand, those boxes look heavy!” An unfamiliar voice offered, and even with his height, he couldn't see who it may have been. Habitually, though, he didn't tend to accept help. He was always the one offering it.

Thus, his first response, muffled behind a wall of cardboard, was a sheepish laugh. “Oh, thanks, but I've got it!” Even as trying to peek around the boxes and the top one dangled a little too precariously.

[moonsmultimusings]

Christmas Skills ! - HERO

Wrapping presents: professional with ribbon on top  |  passable (he does his best! probably has to settle for gift bags rather than hand-wrapping for anything more complex than a box) |  catastrophe  |  call an ambulance

Buying the correct presents: professional with ribbon on top (he pays close attention to people when they speak, so i feel like he would give thoughtful gifts)  |  good |  yes I still have the receipt why do you ask  |  here’s a coupon get yourself something nice

Avoiding Christmas altogether: hasn’t been seen in 20 years  |  attends a few parties here and there  | only seen when necessary (after mari's death)  |  was found every time (before mari's death)

Knowing Christmas songs: choose from track 1 to 500!  | the usual ones (likes teasing kel with christmas songs right after thanksgiving)  |  a few  |  Christ-what?

Picking a Christmas jumper: look it even lights up! (if picking out for himself and/or someone else)  |  it’s ugly let’s take it (if picked out for him, he can't say no)  |  decent  |  the red one has to do

Sending Christmas cards: it’s huge and shiny and Rudolph’s nose lights up (to friends)  |  simple and traditional (to family)  |  it says Christmas that’s all that matters  |  no cards

Decorating: IT SHINES SO BRIGHT AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PRESS THIS BUTTON |  one time a plane confused us with a runway  | just the tree and a few lights (nothing too exceptional)  | tree

Surviving Christmas dinner with the family: center of the dinner and enjoying it |  just smile and wave (before mari's death) | barely hanging on (after mari's death) | one more word and I’ll stab myself with this spoon

tagged by: @sleeplesswork

tagging: anyone who wants it, feel free to steal! ^-^

[moonsmultimusings]

MUSE AESTHETIC FEELINGS - HERO

𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒.     being unable to stop smiling. laughter. bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around. dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laughter lines. childlike playfulness. skipping. talking more. affection. cracking more jokes than usual. gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice. squealing. jumping around. clapping.

𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒.    tearing up. self-hugging. one-arm cross. an aching chest. scratchy throat. a runny nose. turning away. deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing. hands gripping each other or an object. covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking. a distant or empty stare. monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering. depression. abusing an unhealthy habit. withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑.    furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability. jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding. body tensing. making risky decisions. middle finger.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑.     wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs. images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting. scratching skin. a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse. tics. rushing adrenaline. face draining of colour. hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot. making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering. gripping something or someone. stuttering. flinching at noises. pleading.

𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.     constantly yawning. blurring words together. dark circles or lines under eyes. mood swings. hallucinations. calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking. trouble concentrating. stumbling. leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements. falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed. becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.”. shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.

tagged by: @sleeplesswork

tagging: idk who hasn't done this yet since i've seen it going around, so feel free to steal! :)

[moonsmultimusings]

Mari inspected the bouquet carefully, a move that made Hero feel a bit… intimidated. As if she was searching for something among them, but what? Of course, they were real, genuine, but they weren't of the highest quality. Was she, then, disappointed? He probably should've spent more, knowing he was going to be seeing her for the first time in so long. However, he was too eager just to get here. To have the opportunity to see her awake again. He'd hoped she wouldn't mind, but a cheap bouquet from Fix-It probably didn't spell, 'I've been waiting for years for this day,' did it? A light frown crossed his features briefly. He could do better. Maybe he could make her something, but he wasn't sure whether she was eating yet (and he was a bit out of practice by now).

Once her pause was put to an end, her comment wasn't what he'd been expecting. She wanted to keep them. Right… That did sound like something Basil would worry about, didn't it? If he was going to be bringing the blonde here, he wouldn't want to see wilted flowers greeting him. She was absorbed in thought over this for a short time.

He did feel bad drawing her out of it, but it was a relief that she could come in and out of it so quickly. She wasn't so foggy still that she was impossible to reach, as he'd worried she might be. “Yeah, I'll be sure to let her know,” he answered, unable to fight off a smile. Part of him hoped that he might have her help sometime in taking care of Sally, considering how they'd worked together in watching over their siblings and the rest of the group. “Oh, I'll bring everyone when I come back! Don't worry.” He had every intention to make sure they got to see her again, and vice versa. Even if he felt bad about leaving, it wasn't as if he'd never be back. He wanted to speak to the doctor a bit too, if he could. “I promise, it won't be too long.” He couldn't bear to let it be.

𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑰’𝑺 𝑮𝑨𝒁𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑫 𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲 𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑭𝑳𝑶𝑾𝑬𝑹𝑺, 𝑭𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑮𝑹𝑨𝒁𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑪𝑹𝑶𝑺𝑺 𝑬𝑨𝑪𝑯 𝑺𝑶𝑭𝑻 𝑷𝑬𝑻𝑨𝑳. Her parents had already brought a small array of flowers, but like Hero’s, they hadn’t thought it was important to place them in a vase & she’d watch them slowly rot away. Glancing to the side, those dead flowers must have been taken away by the nurse this morning, the only proof they’d ever been there being a couple WITHERED petals. The idea of it made her sad, she could recall a time where Basil had also been sad about the same thing. The one boy had rather left plants in the ground to keep GROWING & Mari couldn’t help but agree.

❝ Even if I get more━━ ❞ She started after a short pause, nails slightly digging into the flesh of the delicate flower in her hand. ❝ ━━I’d like to try and keep them all alive, I think Basil would be sad if he visited and all of them died ❞ Mari didn’t mind if one flower was more meaningful than another, she’d ALWAYS kept at least one from each gift she got. Usually pressing them in a book to keep them in a small box in her room. Over the years of doing shows for her piano the collection had grown quite large. If her parents hadn’t thrown them out, Mari would like to add some of these flowers to that special collection too. ━━━━

━━━━ ❝ Oh, right ! ❞ She looked back over to Hero, as if his words snapped her out of whatever trance she’d been in. Hero was off at school most of the time, if today was his usual day off his mother was probably expecting him. She wouldn’t want to cause the woman to worry. ❝ You should go then, wouldn’t want to upset her and you can say ‘hi’ to Sally for me ❞

[moonsmultimusings]

sleeplesswork​:

Mari smiled, listening to everything Hero told her about his new sister. If she was only a couple months old Mari couldn’t imagine how stressful that was for the pair of boys. It was strange to think of Kel acting mature and looking after a baby, but she knew he’d be good at it. Even when the boy got into fights with Aubrey he’d always find ways to make it up to her, Kel would make a good big brother.

Mari squeezed Hero’s hand, it was soft and almost unnoticeable, it would be a long time until she’d be able to do it properly. When she was better she’d give the brothers a hand, knowing the pair they probably spent more time than needed making sure little Sally was okay. She’d be more than happy to help babysit, she could probably get Aubrey in on it too ! That would be fun…Hopefully she can help more when she’s no longer bed bound.

❝ That very grown up of Kel ❞ Mari paused, trying to recall how old he was. He was twelve the last time she’d seen him, so he should be around fifteen coming on sixteen. It was weird to release he wasn’t just acting grown up but was grown up. ❝ You’ll have to show me a photo of Sally…and the others, if they let you ❞ If no one could visit Mari would at least like to see what everyone looks like. Sunny and Basil probably look the same, just a little taller. She’d already seen Kel who had changed quite a lot, then there was Aubrey. The young girl had wanted to grow her hair long and dye it pink, so if that hadn’t changed she bet Aubrey looked the most different of the group.

It was still a little strange to Hero, to think of Kel being an older brother to anyone. He was too used to thinking of him as a younger brother, but he didn't want to discount him, either. Kel was going on sixteen now, and far more independent and capable now. Hero only hoped that he could help him out more when he had the opportunity to do so. While he could speak more at length about the ways his brother had grown, he figured it would be best to explain a bit more about the others too, since she wouldn't have seen them yet.

First, though, she mentioned a photo. “I should bring the family photo we took recently! I didn't have a chance to stop at home before I headed over, but I can bring that sometime this weekend.” It included Sally, which would be his best point of reference for her for now. “I don't have any photos of the others that are too recent, actually. I'm sure Basil could bring his photo album when he comes, though,” he suggested. He figured that it had been kept more up-to-date than anything he had with what the others were doing in high school. Even if the group wasn't as close anymore, as Kel had said, surely there was something in the album to point to.

He dropped his gaze to their hands, where she attempted to give his a squeeze. The result? A sad smile pulled at his lips. Even when she was this worn out, she was still so kind. He couldn't help but feel that, with what he'd done after her accident, he'd let her down. All of them, really. Hence, he wanted to avoid speaking too much about himself and what he'd been up to in the past few years. He didn't expect himself to be able to speak too much about that without breaking down, and he didn't want to do that right now. Not in front of her.

For a short moment, he stared at their connected hands before shaking out of it. “Oh, I brought you some flowers!” That was a smooth segue. “I can leave them on the table for you when I leave, but…” He pulled back to grab them from where he'd left them, gently laying them on her lap. “I figured your room would need some color,” he added, managing a wink to raise the mood again. It was the least he could do.

[moonsmultimusings]

sleeplesswork​:

Mari couldn’t help the tears that quickly started pouring, it was hard to tell if they were caused by joy or sadness. She’d been worrying so much, Hero would have had to change and unfortunately he did. He’d grown up. Yet the boy who rushed to her side, so happy he almost crushed her with a hug was the same. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Kel had also seemed the same, slightly more mature but definitely the same boy she had to stop from pulling Aubrey’s hair.

Mari turned back to look at Hero who was now at her side, even with tears streaming down her cheeks she couldn’t help but smile. A weak smile, nothing like the grins she used to give the male while teasing him. She’s been stuck in a bed for three years, and currently everything about her is weak. She’d grown thin, tired and couldn’t even raise a glass of water up without some struggle. The doctors said it could take up to twelve months to get back to ‘normal’, or at least close to it. The thought wasn’t one she liked, the idea of being stuck in here for much longer was not a pleasant one. But maybe with Hero—and the others—by her side it wouldn’t be too horrible, time had always flown by so quickly when their little group was together.

“ To be honest.. ” She said softly, voice still raw from not speaking for so long, while moving her free hand up to fight away the countless tears. “ I’m not too sure ” She was alive, that much was good, but she wasn’t too sure how she was feeling. Excited ? Worried ? Happy ? Maybe a little bit of everything, but mainly, she was scared. Of what happened before she was in a coma to what was going to happen now she was out.

It hadn't quite been what Hero had been hoping for, though that wasn't something he'd admit aloud. The smile she gave was a much weaker one than he was used to and he couldn't fault her for this. Her body needed time to adjust. Her facial muscles had to start building back up. That would bring back the teasing grins he missed so much from her. The tears were something he was attempting to fight himself, but paired with the lesser smile he was given, he couldn't help but feel they were a result of something other than joy. They may have been crying for different reasons. He should have realized that before he charged in at the pace he did.

He stood up, gently pulling his hand away from her. Of course, he went no farther than the table across the room in order to retrieve a box of tissues to return with. Gently, he held it out. “Here.” It would be easier to clean herself up with them than it would be to try and do so with her hands alone. An offering he hoped might help, gifted with a small smile on his face. A bit wider than the one he was given, but more restrained than before. He needed to match her where she was at.

“You're probably feeling a lot right now.” Mixed emotions, he'd imagine. “But I'm glad you're awake, and I know everyone else will be too. I know Kel's come by… Did you see anyone else yet?” He hadn't had a chance to ask the others if they'd seen her yet, but considering it had been a few days, surely he was the last one to drop by. That said, he hadn't done the best job of keeping in contact with everyone. That wasn't how he wanted to open his first conversation with Mari, though.

[moonsmultimusings]

sleeplesswork​:

She had been in a coma for three years now, Mari had been told. Hero visits when he can but he’s busy becoming a doctor and I’m now in high school, Kel had explained on her third day of consciousness. On the second her parents had visited. They told her they had been planning on moving but will be pushing that back now. They said Sunny was healthy but hadn’t been the same since the accident, what accident ? On the first day of being awake things had been very slow, there was a nurse that came by every hour but that was it.

Today was the fifth, Mari was yet to leave her bed, things were still slow. She couldn’t remember much, from the day—or even week—of the accident. The doctors didn’t tell her much either, claiming she wasn’t ready and it wasn’t their place to tell her. Three years had passed, yet for the—now—young adult it felt like just a day had gone by. Sunny, Basil and Aubrey hadn’t come by. She worried about all of them daily, she worried about Hero too but her concerns for him were a little different. Who was he now ? He was an adult, he graduated and went to college. He moved on. Kel had explained that Hero would come by on the weekend, since he had classes all week. She’d woken up on Monday and it was now Friday morning, she’d be waiting another day to see him.

Mari spent most of her days just sleeping, it was weird, she’d been asleep for three years and still felt tired. Today was of course another slow day, with no one to see her but the nurses. So when the door was pushed open Mari didn’t bother to look, her eyes fixed on the window. She was thinking about how much the outside breeze called to her and how badly she wished to go out. Though the thoughts of leaving the room all came crashing down as a quiet voice spoke up, a voice so familiar and yet so unreal, a voice so quiet she almost didn’t hear it.

Mari slowly turned to the door, moving was still hard, even just turning her head was a slow and painful process. Standing at the door was Hero, looking so similar to what she remembered yet so different. He no longer suited the cute nickname ‘Hero’—she thought—and definitely seemed much more grown up than she felt. While everyone had had the chance to live and grow she still felt sixteen, though she no longer was.

“…hi…” Her voice was soft, still not quite used to talking after so long. She spent a long second just taking in her old lover’s appearance before looking away, tears now welling up. She had cried when Kel came as well, just seeing everyone so grown was so strange. Mari was sure she’d cry the second one of the other three members of their old friend group showed up as well.

The hospital room was a blinding white. The light cast through the window only amplified its effect. If Hero didn't know any better, he'd say he was stepping foot into Heaven itself. As if anyone's idea of paradise would be a hospital room. It was sunny outside, the window opening to a wide blue sky with only a few puffy clouds meandering overhead. A beautiful day, by all accounts. As he opened the door, he found Mari staring out that window. Longingly, maybe? Kel had said she'd woken up on Monday, so by now, she was likely itching to go out. Though the fact that she was still laying in bed may not speak too well about her chances to get out there straight away.

His heart rate picked up, feeling as if it would burst out of his chest as she slowly turned to look at him. It was a moment he could have sworn dragged on for hours, even if he understood how difficult it likely was for her to move. Muscular atrophy after bed rest was a topic that was already beginning to come up in his classes and one he had pressed about. She would need to work her way back up to normal and recover slowly. Knowing her, she would grow impatient with those sorts of limitations quickly.

“Mari!” Though he was only saying her name again, his tone was leagues different than it was the first time. He could speak louder knowing he wouldn't wake her, to let his relief and joy at seeing her again seep into his tone when he'd tried to keep it down the first time. Rushing in, he nearly tossed the flowers aside on the bedside table on his approach. As much as he wanted to dive in for a hug, to give her an affectionate squeeze for all of the time he'd missed doing so, to hurt her was too great a risk. He settled instead for taking her hand, forcing himself to do so slowly and gently. It wasn't often he matched his younger brother's energy level, but when the two of them were excited, their familial resemblance was striking.

Tears pricked at his eyes, and he did his best to keep them from spilling over. They were tears of joy, he knew, but even still. This felt like too important of an occasion to ruin by crying. “I'm so glad you're awake... How are you feeling?” His mind swirled with questions, an ever-growing list to ask, but he needed to start with the simplest one. He couldn't say he had any personal experience with waking up from a multi-year coma to say what it must have been like, but he could only imagine how disorienting it would be. If there was anything he could do to aid her in managing this, he would do so without hesitation.

[moonsmultimusings]

sleeplesswork​:

Having Hero here was nice, he could actually talk to the others and help calm her nerves. Something her parents and Kel didn’t have the ability to do. It had always been like that, the pair had always had the ability to calm each other down. When Hero was stressed with studying and meeting his parents expectations she had always been there. And when Mari was worried about her little brother or annoyed she hadn’t been able to master her latest piece on the piano he’d be by her side. She was happy that hadn’t changed, just Hero saying he’d do his best to make sure everything was okay was enough to calm her erratic heartbeat.

Though the next thing Hero said did cause her heartbeat to increase once again. A new baby sister ? She’d seen how busy Hero was when Kel was younger, they were both probably overwhelmed with this addition to their family. ❝ He didn’t, but that’s amazing ! ❞ She smiled, Kel may have mentioned it but he’d been talking so much she hadn’t been able to take in everything. ❝ How old is she ? ❞ Mari asked after a pause, she had plenty of questions but that was the first one that came to mind. Not only did she now have questions about Hero’s younger sister but she did want to know everything that had happened over the last three years, this would just be the start of her many inquiries.

Whether Kel had actually managed to forget to mention Sally, or Mari had forgotten, Hero wasn't sure. Maybe he didn't want to bring her up, since he was likely headed straight home after visiting to help take care of her. Though he hoped that his brother wasn't too sick of her yet. He seemed to take caring for her quite seriously, after all, and knowing how much Hero had to do to help out while Kel was growing up, it wouldn't be easy.

“Her name's Sally. She's only a couple of months old, actually.” The day when he'd needed to leave school early and hurried drive back to support his family when she was born was still fairly fresh in his mind, and she was still quite young. “Kel's been doing a lot to take care of her while I'm on campus during the week, but I try to come back every weekend to help him out.” He felt bad leaving his brother with too many responsibilities. Kel had a life of his own, and practices that he needed to get to. Personally, he was hoping that he might be able to find a little more motivation for things like school and his family, now that he didn't have to worry quite so much about Mari's well-being in the hospital. It did take a toll on him, what had happened, but things should start looking up now, he hoped. For all of them.

He gave her a smile. “I'm sure you'll get to meet her sometime soon. She's cute.” Probably not anytime too soon. He didn't want to stress her out when she was already working on building some energy back up. Besides, the noise level of bringing in a fussy baby was unlikely to help Mari recover.

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sleeplesswork​:

Hearing Hero reassure her about Sunny caused some of Maris’ worry to die down. While the male would never be able to understand her bother the way she once did he probably had a better guess than their mom. She used to think he was sad while happy and other things of the sort. Though it wasn’t all her mothers fault, she’d always been busy with work and Sunny had grown distant. Hopefully they’d grown closer over the past couple of years. If they weren’t close and their little friend group fell apart that meant Sunny had probably spent these years by himself, that thought made her worry. He’d never been good at making friends and talking to new people, maybe that had changed while in high school ?

Mari was taken away from her worries as Hero’s hand rested against hers. She often forgot when other people were in the room with her, most of the last week felt like a dream. It was nice to know he was here, touching her, and not just another dream. ❝ I know ❞ She whispered, even if she knew it wasn’t her fault she still blamed herself for some of it. Hero probably knew that, since she didn’t think she sounded all that convincing.

‘But maybe they haven’t heard yet…?’ She hoped not. If they knew and decided not to come it would hurt more than anything. Sunny knew and didn’t come, since he was upset with her. She hoped Aubrey and Basil weren’t, she’d never known Basil to hold a grudge and she’d never had Aubrey be angry with her. Though if they were both mad she’d give them their space, when they came back—if they did—she’s apologies and try to make this up to them. ❝ That would be nice…even if they don’t want to come I just want to know how their doing… ❞ That was the most important thing, as long as everyone was happy and healthy in their new lives she could also find a way to be happy.

It was just like Mari, to blame herself for something that was out of her control. She was a perfectionist in all aspects of her life, and he was aware of this. A small mistake or slip-up would be cause to blame herself, even if it was an unreasonable conclusion to jump to. This was why he had offered her the reassurance he had. This wasn't her fault. Any hypocrisy borne of blaming himself for the group's falling out was beyond him. He should have done more to help everyone stick together after what had happened, but... He was too torn up about it.

The worry that she could have died from her injuries and the loneliness that came from visiting her often with no chance to speak to her made for a difficult combination to hold his own against. He wanted to act as if nothing had changed, to continue to be there for his friends, but it wasn't easy. Not when Sunny was so determined to withdraw from everyone, and Hero's parents pushed him towards studying harder to graduate with honors. A first step towards getting into a good pre-med program, as they would argue. He didn't have the energy to push back too much against that. If anything, becoming a doctor could mean that he could assist Mari. To do more for her in helping her recover.

“I need to talk to them again anyway. It's been a while since I've had the chance to see them.” School was busy enough, but there was also a new addition to their family. He supposed that might be a positive conversation topic to bring up. “Oh, did Kel mention when he was here? We have a new baby sister! She's kept us pretty occupied.” That sounded a bit better than, 'I've been swamped with assignments for the program I told you I didn't want to pursue, and coming home feels like a chore if I don't stop by to see you,' didn't it?

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sleeplesswork​:

Maris’ smile stayed soft as Hero got up to grab the box of tissues. They were almost empty, from how much she’d been needing them of late. Hopefully it wouldn’t continue on like this, she wanted to return to normal and be with her friends again, not stay here sorry for herself. She was vaguely aware that this probably wasn’t what the male must have wanted. They’d watched enough sappy movies together in the past to have their expectations of something like this to be a happy magical moment, not this. She supposed Kel must have been disappointed as well, though he kept a huge grin on his face the moment he walked in to the moment he left. She somewhat worried about Aubrey’s reaction, she’s probably get upset if it wasn’t what she was expecting. Hopefully she’d grown up enough to not throw a tantrum.

Quietly Mari took the offered tissues, using them to quickly dry up as many tears as possible. That along with a couple deep breaths managed to calm her down enough for them to no longer be a constant stream. “ Thanks… ” She said after a second, eyes finally meeting Hero’s again. His question about the others caused what was left of her smile to fade. “ Sunny is…upset with me, mom said ” She still didn’t know why, she knew they’d gotten into a fight but couldn’t recall anything after. Hopefully he didn’t blame himself for what caused the accident. “ Aubrey and Basil haven’t come by either….Kel said that they aren’t friends anymore… ” Mari couldn’t help but blame herself for that, what had happened to cause a group that acted as if they were family to fall apart beside herself ? Even when the group fought the next day they were eating cookies and playing in the park, so she couldn’t think of anything else to cause a drift.

It was once Mari managed to dry her tears that she was able to look him in the eyes again. That was a relief, at least. Hero always found her eyes to be beautiful. The sort of dark doe eyes one could easily get lost in. He had himself, a few more times than he would like to admit. He couldn't hold her gaze for long, as he found a spot on the floor particularly interesting when she mentioned the state of their friends.

“I don't think Sunny is mad at you,” he answered first. “I mean, that's not the impression I got from speaking to him.” Then again, he wasn't the best at reading him, nor would he claim to be. That was a delicate art he left up to Mari when he could. One could argue that, what he lacked in that, he made up for in fluency in Kel's expressions. It was just a matter of being an older sibling, he supposed. It was probably better to say that Sunny had taken what happened very personally. But, of course, that wasn't the sort of thing he wanted to say to her first thing now that she was awake again, so he held his tongue on that much.

He laid a hand over hers gently. “Kel's told me a bit about Basil and Aubrey, too.” He hadn't seen too much of it himself, since he'd been gone going on a couple of years now, only coming back rarely. Considering the source, he didn't take the demonization of Aubrey in those stories too seriously. Gently, he squeezed her hand. “None of that is your fault, though. You know that, right?” If anything, it was his own. He hadn't been around enough to help out while she was asleep. He'd been the conscious one between the two of them. “I figured they might come back together to see you. But maybe they haven't heard yet…?”

Putting on a smile to make up for the one she'd lost, he added, “Don't worry. I'll let them know myself.” He'd try and find them after he left and let them know, though he figured Kel would've done that by now. Even if those two didn't get along anymore, he felt sure that they could come back together for Mari's sake.