#¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I love them all deeply your honor

[figueroths]

Artists self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five arts/sets/edits/gifs that you've done, then pass on to at least five other people. Time to shine and spread some self-love and appreciation 💖

ik it says five but pls understand and respect that i am incapable of making such decisions <3 and also know that I am abt to start tedtalking <3 i am not sorry for any of this <3

TOP FIVE SIX :)

this maleficent set - maleficent (2014) makes me feel insane like true love being familial, parental in fact !! uwuwuwuwu is top tier and anyway I love these gifs individually and how they pair!

this aquamera set - I love love love aquamera, and this is so vibrant and fun! using the fish font style on the fish man line was inspired i'm such a hottie for that! an early mistake in blending mode led to the first gif being so fucking extra and mwah tbh good call to just run with it. also just remembering I specifically told @khazadkeit to send me that prompt lmfao brave of them, after all the essays I've written in their dms, to invite in even more rot ryan i am kissing u on the shoulder tenderly

this ginny baker set - someone called this "visually intense" in a way that felt like 15% derogatory so i'm gonna snatch that phrasing and make it 100% affectionate. like there's a lot happening, and it's so rewarding to look at these gifs now and find little layered surprises in the blending or layout or typography! 😌

this nabrielise set - listen I am so deep in the rot on tbsatdh that my body has adapted to it and I need that rot to breathe and function. it's a v simple, v pretty, v tender set and I love it

this made for love set - my most slept on set for a most slept on series. typography? sexy! colors? sexy! blending? sexy! simmer + hazel green? 📢 SEXY!

this first kill set - i misquoted in a tiny way that gets deeply on my nerves but I just think theo and talia have one of the most compelling relationships on the show and I really love the flow of this set. sometimes u make smth and one or more gifs are a little off the vibe but this one's 10/10 start to finish 💅🏽

honorable mentions <3 yes <3 i'm that annoying <3 still no apologies <3

the first gif in this san junipero set is so perfect I wanna get back on whatever I was on when I made that

this whole nick miller set I snapped! just sat down and made that in a few hours, learning how to do stuff as ideas occurred to me like oh? beyond my abilities? ok I will simply expand my abilities then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ignore the rest but the last gif in this mad max: fury road set might actually be the best blending I've ever done I'm counting 4 shots in there plus triple layers on the big guy

light of my life penny robinson!! idk this just sparks joy but also I'm obsessed with the hand(/claw?) at her temple in the first gif

more robinsons! this time judy & john beloveds. fuckdjsklfidng typography is my passion 😐 but anyway the second gif is so dear to me. that episode is so dear to me really and how they let each other go in totally different ways but how teaching her independence is key to his survival later when he's dependent on her abilities it's emo hours 🥺💗

[overnighttosunflowers]

The Mighty Nein : distrustful :: Bells Hells : lonely

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for May 2021! Below the cut you’ll find 17 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup.

New York Kiss by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Louis/Zayn, Mature, 47k, tumblr post]

“Also, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m quite the narcissistic type, and I didn’t want that cute guy to have a bad opinion of me for the rest of his life.” “Who, me?” Zayn bats his lashes jokingly, ignoring the fact that his heart skipped a beat at Louis’ words. “Yeah, you. So, shall we go?” Louis drops what remains of his cigarette on the floor and steps on it to light it off. Meanwhile, Zayn makes a reckless decision. “Alright. Lead the way, De Niro.”

Or: A strangers to lovers AU where Louis is an actor, Zayn is a writer (among other things), and they meet each other literally by accident in NYC, just as the world is about to turn upside down.

I Love The Very Blood Of You by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10 

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 129k, tumblr post]

“I don’t just like him …” Harry muttered, fiddling with the string at the waistband of his jogging bottoms that had definitely seen better days. “I love him, Zayn. I’m in love with Louis. With a vampire.”

He looked up just in time to see a small smile on Anne’s face, and she reached out with a hopeful look. Harry couldn’t resist, and put his large hand in hers, letting her comfort him for a moment.

“I could tell there was love between you,” she confessed softly, a light blush on her cheeks. “When I met you, I knew you were smitten with each other. I won’t pretend it doesn’t make me nervous, but … I can’t tell you who you can and can’t love, sweetheart.”

A vampire. A human. A broken arrangement. A love long since forbidden. Hunted by hate. Destined.

One More Taste of Your Lips by MsHydeStylinson @mizzhydes and @canadianlarrie

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 80k, tumblr post]

It had been eight years since the hiatus began, and Louis had spent that time writing and recording music, touring and making it safely through the pandemic. When the opportunity arose to go back on tour with One Direction, Louis knew he'd be a fool not to take it. Sure, life on the road would be different after all this time apart, but he was looking forward to experiencing that comradery again.

What he hadn't realised was that living the better part of nine months in each other's pockets was bound to dredge up issues from his past. And when one of the pockets belonged to Harry, who he'd had a rather unconventional friendship with that drifted apart during their last tour, life on the road again would upend both their lives in irrevocable ways.

***

Harry wasn’t that sixteen year old boy anymore. Nor was he the young man in his late teens who was on the cusp of conquering the entire world.

But some traits seemed to remain the same; his vibrant green eyes, the dimples set deeply in his cheeks whenever he laughed earnestly, or his curls that were the same shade of cocoa that Louis remembered fondly.

And yet, Louis had absolutely no idea who this man that stood a mere twenty paces away was today.

take my hand, wreck my plans by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Harry/Louis, Teen & Up, 38k, tumblr post]

Louis meets the man in the center of the room, feeling every eye on him.

“Mr. H,” he whispers.

The man smiles brightly and laughs as if he can’t believe his eyes. “It’s you,” he says breathlessly. “I didn’t think I would see you again.”

“Nor I you, especially under these circumstances.”

“Even so,” Mr H says, his eyes bouncing from Louis’ eyes to his lips. “Will you do me a great honor and join me in leading the first … um…”

“Dance?”

Mr. H laughs and nods. “Yes, that’s the one.”

Louis bites his lips and doesn’t hesitate before whispering, “Yes.”

Mr. H beams and reaches for Louis’ hand. Sparks fly at the touch and a zing of excitement shoots through Louis’ body. His face heats up as he’s afraid his scent would give away his feelings towards the other man.

Winter Light by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

[Liam/Zayn (Liam & Louis, Harry/Louis), Teen & Up, 58k, tumblr post]

“Do you think this place is dead?” he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on one of the two oaks, whose bark was grey and trunk cracked. 

“What do you mean?” Zayn inquired, joining him by the tree. 

“Well, it’s winter now, so obviously everything looks dead anyway,” Liam said. “But do you think come spring, this place might look like the way it looked before?” 

Zayn took his time to think about Liam’s question. “I think all things are salvageable,” he eventually answered. “Including this garden. You just have to try hard enough.”

After his mother’s death, Liam is sent to live at his estranged uncle’s manor in the North of England, where new friends, mysterious places and family secrets await him. A Secret Garden inspired Soulmate AU

Cake and Kiss by @loulovehome

[Harry/Louis, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The one where omega Harry didn't like cake and wants to throw up when his alpha kisses him.

Love After the End of the World by writing_practice / @mercurial-madhouse

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 150k, tumblr post]

“Wait. Just so I’m clear in me fucking noggin,” Niall says. “An international worldwide takeover is well under way and the only thing standing between having hot showers and a second end of the world is us five fuckers?”

-----

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Hometown by @allwaswell16

[Louis/Harry, Not Rated, 2k, tumblr post]

On the day Harry gets his driver’s licence, he drives through the suburbs, heartbroken that he can’t drive home to Louis.

Baby Blues by @kingsofeverything

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 12K, tumblr post]

8 mpreg Harry snippets originally posted on Tumblr. Mostly smut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense

[Harry/Louis, Explicit, 107k, tumblr post]

Harry’s life as a vampire is routine. He spends his years moving around from place to place, learning as much as he can, and falling in love whenever the universe sees fit. When he tries to move his casual relationship with Louis to something more, it all gets turned on its head. As they navigate confusing thoughts and complex emotions, Harry finds himself torn between the love he feels for Louis and everything he thought he knew.

Featuring pet names, love letters, secrets, meaningful friendships, and two insecure boys desperately in love.

Pretty in Pink by lovelarry / @chloehl10

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 18k, tumblr post]

“Love? Can I come in?”

Harry sniffed and shook his head before he realised Louis couldn’t see him. “No. Go home, Lou. Please.”

“I’m not leaving,” the Omega insisted, his voice full of concern. “And I’m not judging either. Just… talk to me, Haz.”

Harry briefly considered changing or at least ripping everything off and greeting Louis in his boxers before he realised that might actually be worse, that Louis had seen him dressed up and there was no need to hide anymore. He meekly shuffled over to the door and pulled it open before he backed away, refusing to meet Louis’ eyes.

To the Omega’s credit, he walked straight over to Harry and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his cheek between Harry’s shoulder blades.

“This top feels nice. Soft. I see why you like it,” Louis said quietly from behind him.

*****

Alpha Harry loves to secretly dress up and be pretty. He loves his feminine side, even if it’s not typical of an Alpha. But when Omega Louis finds out, it might just the start of something even more beautiful for them both...

Plant New Seeds In The Melody by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 58k, tumblr post]

After losing his husband in a tragic car accident, the last thing Louis needs is to keep running into popstar Harry Styles, who David was quite fond of.

Obviously, that’s exactly what keeps happening.

But as their unlikely friendship blossoms, Louis realizes that, maybe, having Harry in his life was the only good thing that came out of his adverse circumstances. Harry could be just the right person to help Louis find trust and intimacy in someone new.

We are the same, you run in my veins by @vintageumbroshirt / 28sunflowers

[Louis/Harry, General, 4k, tumblr post]

When the time for Louis to become the Alpha leader of his pack comes, he can’t rise to the occasion for not being yet bonded. A series of trips to neighbouring packs in search of his soulmate is fruitless until he meets one of the other packs’ Alpha heir.

Harry.

The world seems to stop turning for a second and then it shifts, clicking into its axis. All the distress and wrongness he felt until that very moment suddenly disappears. Louis is finally whole.

But two Alpha leaders from different tribes soulbonding is something unheard of before.

evergreen, evermore by docklands / @hershelsue​

[Louis/Harry, General, 2k, tumblr post]

The year is 1979. Their entire lives, Harry and Louis have lived in Chichester, home to the best watermelons in the world. An unruffled life in the country has always served their long term friendship well. It all shifts when Harry has to move away to a bigger city due to his mother’s job, albeit his love for his hometown and for Louis. It’s even harsher when the moving truck leaves on his birthday, of all days. When all seems lost, Louis ends up having to pull some strings to ease the pain in Harry’s heart.

When The High's Too High, and the Low's Too Low by DaysLikeMasquerades

[Louis/Harry, Mature, 22k+ (wip)]

Two perspectives of growing up neurodivergent

Some days Harry wondered if he would ever find a friend who could look past all the things he couldn't change. Someone who didn't care that he could spend hours talking about his latest fascination without calling him obsessed. Who didn't laugh when he couldn't stop his hands from expressing his emotions. Who didn't care that he was 13, but he'd start crying if he went into too many stores, because they were too bright, too loud, too smelly, and it was all just too overwhelming. Some days he thought someone like that just didn't exist.

Most nights Louis wondered if there would ever come a time when he didn't hate himself. When he would learn to control his emotions and the mood swings that seemed to take over everything and leave no room for himself. He wondered how he could live with himself when he only seemed to hurt the people he loved. His teachers thought he was a wonderful boy, but he knew the truth. Most nights he cried himself into exhaustion wondering how it was possible to feel so broken at only 15. He wanted to be happy, but he didn't know how and that scared him more than anything. Most nights he just hoped he could figure it out before it was too late.

Make You Never Wanna Leave (so Don’t) by @beelou​ / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, Explicit, 3k, tumblr post]

“You look hot in plaid.” “What?” “I said you look like a dad.” “No, you didn't.” “Yes, I certainly did, Harold. You have no proof.” -- Or, the one where Harry wears plaid.

a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Niall, ​Not rated, 10k, tumblr post]

“Listen, my alpha and I broke up and it turns out that all of our friends were really his friends and I need someone to help me through–”

“No,” Harry practically shouts, the word bursting out of him unbidden. He cringes when he sees the shock on Niall’s face, his pale skin flushing lightly. “I’m sorry, but my answer has to be no. I don’t help omegas through heats. I’m really sorry, Liam knows that, so I don’t know why he would give you the idea–”

“It’s not heat, Harry,” Niall interrupts. “It’s depri.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

Touch deprivation makes a lot of sense now that Harry thinks about it. Niall seems generally unwell; he appears to be weak, his skin is pallid and his lips look chapped, and his breathing is ragged. He’s wearing a cozy-looking sweatshirt, but even over FaceTime, he kind of seems cold, hunched over with his arms wrapped around his body. Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact.

Oh.

[problematicfavesareproblematic]

On Days Like This (part 5)

Carwood Lipton x Reader

Warnings: survivors guilt, comfort, a disgusting amount of fluff, a sick and sad mother of Easy Company doing his very best, some random dialogue, a lack of forward progression but I’m still proud of it for some reason

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You wake up to the smell of cigarette smoke and for a few moments you think you are back in the makeshift hospital you’d been taken to in Foy.

It’s the feeling of Carwood’s heartbeat against your cheek that brings it all back for you- how you’d snuck out from under the aggressive nurse’s nose during her shift change and managed to bully your way onto a supply truck headed to Hagenau, dressed in a combination of pilfered wool sweaters and a set of fatigues you’d collected from the bodies of fallen soldiers. 

You’d stolen some boots from the supply truck, and when they’d threatened to tell your superior officer you’d informed them that they were more than welcome to do so, as long as they were prepared for your SO to also be told that the supply truck had been delayed a day because it’s drivers wanted to engage in one last sexual encounter with the nurses who’d welcomed them into their beds.

The two men hadn’t bothered you after that.

The moment after you’d reconnected with Nix and Sink, you’d gone to find Car.

Just from the way he’d broken down upon seeing you again, you knew that he’d lost some sense of himself in the time you’d been apart. It broke your heart. It had taken everything in you not to cry as well.

But Carwood had needed you to be strong, and you had decided long ago that you would do anything for him.

If that meant holding him as he cried himself back to sleep in the first mattress you’d shared since your time in Georgia, then so be it.

 When you allowed one eye to peek open, you found that the smell of smoke wasn’t coming from somewhere outside the room- but rather from Carwood himself.

You watched for a moment as he lifted the white stick he’d once called a cancer tube to his lips and pull from it like he’d been doing it for years, a memory of him chastising you for lighting one up beside his cot after he’d been wounded in Carentan flickering in your mind’s eye.

Taking a deep breath, you allow your ribs to expand as you arch your back in a creaking stretch, the movement alerting Carwood of your wakefulness.

“Hm, never thought I’d see the day Clifford Carwood Lipton would willingly smoke a cigarette…”

His light chuckle is warm against your ear, the arm that he’d wrapped around you pulling you close into him and his fingers prodding your ribs playfully until you yelp and attempt to roll away from it.

Car leans over the side of the bed to stamp out the cigarette and set it down, shaking his head slightly as he exhales the remaining smoke in his lungs through pursed lips.

Before he can reply to your teasing, a body-racking cough has him sitting up and trying to catch his breath, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and bracing his elbows on his knees to combat the force of the hacking.

You frown, pushing yourself up to sit behind him and wrap yourself around his back, pressing a kiss between his shoulders once his coughing subsides before resting your cheek there.

 “Got the black lung already?”

He sniffs, clearing his throat a few more times before sighing deeply.

“Doc says it’s pneumonia. Not much he can do.”

You hum at that, closing your eyes as you listen to the strong thud of his heart again.

“You should’ve told me you were hurt.”

Opening your eyes, you lift your head from his back, furrowing your brows at his admonishment.

“Huh?”

 Lip turns enough that he can face you side-on, his tired eyes looking even more exhausted as he nods his head guilty at your arm.

Looking at your right arm, you take in the large lump of bandages wrapped around your bicep, the gauze beneath the sleeve of your sweater making it look almost comically swollen. The three bullets they’d pulled from your arm still remain in a pouch, buried near the body of your knapsack.

 “Car,” you sigh, ready to assure him that you’re perfectly fine and that it’s nothing and that he doesn’t need to worry about you. But, judging by the way he narrows his dark eyes at you, you decide it’s best not to argue the point any further.

“I could’ve hurt you, Y/N! You should’ve said something, shouldn’t of let me grab at you like that—”

“Well, sorry that I was so excited to see the man I love that I didn’t think to give you a full medical report.” you snap, shaking your head and rubbing a hand over your face. “I’ll be sure to remember that from now on….”

 Lip clenches his jaw and curses under his breath, raking a hand through his mussed hair before mumbling your name softly and taking your hand from your face to hold it between his.

 “I didn’t mean it like that, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

When you continue to stare at a point over his shoulder Car sighs and turns to face you further.

You allow his hands to come up and hold your face, eyes flickering to meet his remorseful ones and biting the inside of your cheek.

 “You’re right, I’m sorry...Hey, c’mon.”

The press of his forehead against yours is sweet, despite the fact that you can feel the fever radiating from his skin.

“I just get worried, you know. I missed you so much—”

 You shake your head, pulling your forehead back from his so you can press a kiss to his hairline.

“I do. I know. I’m sorry, too.”

With your uninjured arm, you brush your cooler fingers across his cheek, feeling a bit guilty for snapping at him.

You wondered if a day would come when the two of you would stop having to worry about each other. These days, it was hard to imagine a life consisting of anything other than loss and pain and heavy exhaustion.

 At the feeling of tears rolling over your fingers, you pull back to look at him with concern.

“Lip?”

“I’m so glad that you weren’t there.”

Your throat feels tight, immediately knowing what he’s referring to.

 Your torment at the hands of the German army was nothing compared to the horrors you’d heard occurring in the forest Lip had been in. whatever earth-shaking fear you had experienced second hand couldn’t ever hold a candle to what it must’ve felt like to Easy and Dog Companies.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, ignoring the slight twinge of discomfort in your other arm and bringing your other hand to his face to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I’m just….I’m so fucking sorry, Sweetheart—”

 He’s apologizing again, and you know that he’s not simply apologizing to you for crying in your arms.

With devastating sobs, he tells you about all of it- of Buck and Toye and WIld Bill. you pull him to lean against you when he cries for Muck and Penkala, the other eighty-two lives that had been snatched away from this world while he’d ‘cowardly hid in a hole’ the whole time.

You don’t interrupt him, tears of your own welling in your eyes but unwilling to let them fall.

He needs this, he needs this, I can be strong for him

When he does pull away from you, he’s red-faced and his eyes are swollen, weakly repeating how sorry he is. You kiss him as softly as he had kissed you for the first time in Toccoa, inhaling sharply when he pulls your face closer and smashes your lips to his almost painfully.

You stroke at his face when he pulls away, letting him catch his breath in his own time.

 When he starts coughing again you reach blindly around his feet until you find his canteen, giving him an appreciative smile when he helps you sit back up again.

He drinks dutifully, closing his eyes and letting his head roll from side to side as he swallows.

As you bring his once abandoned cigarette to your lips and relight it with the lighter you’d also managed to find, Lip looks over at you and sighs a weak laugh.

 “You shouldn’t do that, young lady,” he jokes hollowly, taking the cigarette from between your fingers and taking a puff before putting it out again. “It isn’t good for you.”

 Smiling at the ridiculousness of it, you blow the little smoke you’d managed to get into his face.

“You’re lucky I like you, otherwise I’d hit you, you handsome hypocrite.”

 With a soft groan, you swing your legs around so you’re sitting beside him, your thigh pressed against his as you mirror his pose. Car brings your hand into his and laces your fingers together.

 “In the interest of being candid, I should probably tell you that I’ve lost three toes since we’ve last seen each other—”

“What?”

 His head whips to the side to look at you in surprise, gaping at the casual shrug you offer in explanation.

 “Frostbite is a bitch….”

 Carwood opens his mouth to protest your nonchalance, before seeming to think better of it and shooting you a glare.

 “Well, as long as we’re being honest, I might as well tell you that I’ve been promoted.”

 You feel your face drop in surprise for a moment before you grin like an idiot, bringing his hand to your lips and kissing it excitedly.

 “Lieutenant Clifford Carwood Lipton,” you murmur, liking the way the title tastes on your tongue.

“Just wait till my mother hears that I’ve snagged myself a Lieutenant��!”

 When Car rolls his eyes you press a quick kiss to his cheek.

The dead may always hang over your heads, and maybe they’re meant to.

But, for right now, the two of you have never felt more alive.

 And that was more than enough.

~ ~ ~

( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here we be, kids. I love you bbs and will fight for your honor any day of the week (just not Mondays at 11am, bc Mama has therapy)

Taglist: @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @happyveday​ @sunsetmando​ @teenmagazines​ @liebgotttme​

[amedetoiles]

pls tell me your thoughts about the potential for wwx-jgy friendship? i just like the idea of them having similar experiences as like: poor street kid/poor brothel kid, would kill god for the people they care about, made of knives, incredibly charming and personable. i feel like they could have Seen each other and understood each other really well, and like, things would have ended up better maybe?

Gosh. Ok, so full disclosure before I answer this: I am really not the most sympathetic towards Jin Guangyao. I am just not a fan of him in any universe where he is complicit if not directly responsible for the death of his own child to protect his own reputation (up for debate, but nonetheless Jin Rusong fucking deserved better), gaslights his wife / half-sister into committing suicide, and has a monologue meltdown about how difficult his life has been to his own orphaned and bullied nephew whose childhood he had a hand in destroying. I am glad he got kicked down the same stairs twice, and I am glad Nie Huaisang beat him at his own game. All in all to say that my thoughts on him might be colored by this. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But let’s get into this! Jin Guangyao is a great character foil to Wei Wuxian. The circumstances of his life that shaped his morality (or lack thereof) and the choices he makes in response are tragic and understandable. I definitely think Jin Guangyao could have been a different person, a better person, if his father wasn’t such a trash heap, if society hadn’t been such a gigantic dick about his mother, and if he hadn’t needed to claw his way into achieving everything he did. Wei Wuxian says himself that he doesn’t consider Jin Guangyao a villain.

However, I hesitate to say that had they struck up a friendship, Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian could have understood each other easily and that this could have changed things. Don’t get me wrong! I can definitely see how influence could have been made where a friendship between these two would have fixed it all. Or at least improved things. Especially in association with Wei Wuxian, Jiang Yanli’s nonjudgemental kindness (under the condition that nobody hurts her little brothers) would have been extremely refreshing to Meng Yao.

But I also think the differences between Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao would have made it difficult for them to truly understand and agree with each other. And it’s these differences that ultimately decide each of their fates.

I will try to organize my thoughts on this. First, the discussion of privilege.

1. Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao are not on the same privilege level.

While both Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao are scorned in some way, shape, or form for their parents’ statuses, Wei Wuxian is still the son of cultivators. He is still the son of Cangse sanren, a disciple of a famed immortal. His pedigree and legacy are undeniable. Jin Guangyao, on the other hand, is the unwanted son of a lecherous sect leader and a sex worker. In a society where hierarchy and reputation is everything, this places Jin Guangyao in an entirely different pedigree in a way that Wei Wuxian wouldn’t be able to understand.

Wei Wuxian is also brought into the Jiang sect and given a chance to cultivate at an early age where Jin Guangyao doesn’t. Wei Wuxian can punch the heir of a rich sect leader, leading to the dissolution of his sister’s political marriage alliance, and still get nothing but a slap on the wrist because boys will be boys. He can interrupt important post-war celebration dinners to tell that same rich sect leader to fuck off with his marriage proposal and then promptly skip away without any real consequences. He can accidentally send his friend’s little brother into a murderous rampage, and his own little brother will apologize on his behalf and offer to pay reparations.

Wei Wuxian may not have the same privilege as sect heirs like Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji, but he has far more privilege than Jin Guangyao and Su She. This is important because it is this privilege that Wei Wuxian sacrifices later in order to the protect the Wens. I am not saying Wei Wuxian doesn’t suffer. He does, a truly horrendous amount, but even without his golden core, even when his self-worth is at an all-time low, he is still supported and protected by his status in the Jiang sect until he gives it up to do the right thing. Despite Lan Xichen and the Nies, Jin Guangyao doesn’t have this same kind of backing.

(With that being said though, Jin Guangyao does become Chief Cultivator, so there is only so far one can fall back on their disadvantages in society when they have already reached the top. Being marginalized is not an excuse to be a jackass to your nephew whose parents you had a hand in killing, just saying.)

One can argue that had Jin Guangyao been raised in the Jiang sect while Wei Wuxian continued to scrape for food on the streets, their outlook on life would have been completely different. But even taking into account Jiang Yanli’s overwhelmingly positive influence on a young Meng Yao, I am still inclined to disagree because of my next point.

2. Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao are fundamentally different in how they respond/cope with public gossip and ridicule.

Wei Wuxian, for the most part, lets these comments roll off his back. This is not to say he doesn’t care or that they don’t affect him. They clearly do, and his actions, his self-perception, and his increasingly arrogant bravado as the story progresses reflect the deluge of verbal abuse he’s face with, largely at the hands of Madam Yu. But he copes by being loud, by being talented, by becoming even more outrageous and more unorthodox the more people criticize him. So what if people don’t approve? So what if people look down on his father and gossip about his mother’s supposed relationship with Jiang Fengmian? As long as he is true to himself and his moral convictions, he can walk this dark single plank road alone and without regrets.

Jin Guangyao, on the other hand, desperately and reverently wants to be included. He wants to be accepted, to be liked. He wants to be in the room where it happens. He takes every single comment to heart, carries every disdainful remark on his back like an open scar. He is both someone who loves and respect his mother and who hates her for the constant shadow she casts over him and his place in society. He will build a Guanyin statue in her likeness, in her honor. He will wear a hat because she once told him that a gentleman always wears hats. And yet, he will spend everyday of his life trying to rid himself of his connection to her.

Where Wei Wuxian recklessly cares too little about appearances and what people think of him, Jin Guangyao cares far too much. Wei Wuxian doesn’t give one flying iota about politics, about status and acclaim. He was perfectly fine with being a lotus farmer on a mountain. Even if Wei Wuxian had never been taken in by the Jiangs (and managed to survive the streets), I genuinely think he would still have been largely the same – a child who is kind, open, curious, and holds few grudges. I am not sure I can say that even under the best circumstances, Jin Guangyao wouldn’t have . It destroys him. .

This ties into my last point.

3. Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao have completely opposing priorities and beliefs on the worth of others.

Wei Wuxian will throw himself in front of anybody if his moral compass tells him it is the right thing to do. He is a genuinely open-hearted person who cares deeply about others and thinks it is morally corrupt to do nothing when something can be done. He is idealistic and optimistic, oftentimes to a fault. Jin Guangyao, as a result of his childhood and circumstances, is incredibly pessimistic and cynical. It is every person for themselves out here. The world is a crooked shitshow, conflict is inevitable, and he has to come out on top no matter what.

This leads to him sacrificing pretty much everyone in his life in order to maintain his own reputation. Like I do genuinely think Jin Guangyao truly cared about Jin Ling! I think he also in his own way cared about Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Nie Huaisang! But I also think a large portion of that is because he enjoyed how they made him feel. He enjoyed being liked and being depended upon. And we see clearly what happens when those benefits cease. Whereas Wei Wuxian would rather throw himself off a cliff than hurt any more people he loves, Jin Guangyao would rather push his own people off the cliff if it means his reputation and appearance remain intact. And if that’s not possible, he would rather set them on fire along with him.

This has become an entirely too long rambling essay to say that while Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao share similar experiences, their primary priorities are so different and opposing that it is hard for me to come up with a way in which a friendship between them could have changed things. Sure, Jin Guangyao could have benefited from Wei Wuxian’s unabashed and staunch defense of his friend. Anyone who talks shit about Jin Guangyao’s mother will get punched in the face, and it would maybe have made Jin Guangyao feel less alone in the world, less like he only had himself and his manipulative ways to seek acceptance.

But what happens when Wei Wuxian being Wei Wuxian runs around causing social and political uproar to do what he thinks is right? Is Jin Guangyao going to help and support him, or is he going to throw Wei Wuxian under the bus to protect his own reputation? Personally, I think the importance he places on public perception would ultimately be too great. It destroys his relationships, and it destroys him.

[savrenim]

hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

[desiree-harding-fic]

On Loving one Taako Taaco

ReJEANcy again! Taako is away on business. Lup and Kravitz attend a party as new in laws. The people who can boast to be loved by Taako form an exclusive club. AKA: Lup and Kravitz are best friends and I will never not use the fact that Kravitz and Taako fell in love without Lup around in canon to my advantage because it has me feeling Some Kinda Way.

As always, thanks to @fandomsnstuff for you know... everything?

This felt longer when I wrote it but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Enjoy!

ReJEANcy can be found Here and Here.

*~*~*~*~*

The evening came to its close, and with it, Kravitz and Lup retired with all due gallantry and ceremony, making their excuses and saying their goodbyes, until their coach was pulled around the front of the manor house drive, and Kravitz himself held out his hand to help Lup step up into the carriage.

She could not help but notice that the other guests began filtering out as well at their departure, and with it came the errant wondering - whether all in the county followed Kravitz’s lead in everything. She supposed they would, as he owned the majority of it. As the coach pulled away, beginning the long journey back to Astral, her thoughts strayed to the many introductions of the evening, to Kravitz’s neighbors, his friends.

Never had she been treated with such respect and deference in company. It was intimidating, in a way, to stand by Kravitz’s side; he could not stand in a room without one immediately taking notice of his excellent manner and breeding. He inspired a certain self-consciousness in company, it was clear, though he seemed at all times to combat it with a practiced grace. What a ridiculous thing money was, she thought, to inspire such feeling in a crowd. That simply because Kravitz’s wealth was so vast, he was treated as a great man. 

And by extension, she as a very great woman. And there lay the contradiction to her first inclination. That as intimidating as it was to stand on Kravitz’s arm, there was a power to it. That the difference between the treatment of Miss Lup Taaco, and Kravitz’s sister-in-law Miss Taaco was tangible.

It was another thing about him, she thought, perhaps the thing that most swayed her to liking him;  that beyond the other facets of his character, one thing had stood out: he had, from the moment they first met, treated Lup not as a lower-class member of the gentry, a supposed gentleman’s daughter with no fortune to her name. No, he had always acted, from the moment he was introduced to her, as though Lup was every bit his equal in rank, class, circumstance, breeding, and all. And in company, his example was always followed, for who would dare offend Lord Kravitz of Davenshire? 

She wondered if Taako had felt this way when Kravitz was courting him. There was something intoxicating about standing on Kravitz’s arm, being so well treated and highly thought of. It was no wonder he had been taken with the man in so short a time.

“You are contemplative,” Kravitz said, from where he sat opposite her. He was leaned back against the wall of the carriage, one leg bent on the seat, all relaxation now that they were unobserved. “What are you thinking of?”

He looked warm from the evening’s wine. Lup felt much the same: warm, loose, a bit tired from drink and company. It led her, perhaps, to speak more earnestly than she was used to.

“That you treat me better than I deserve, in their eyes,” she replied. His head cocked to the side, slow, brow furrowing inquisitively. “You behave in company as though I am your equal,” she explained,  “when women of my status are not even  allowed into the rooms in which you are treated as an honored guest. You have married Taako; I may be his sister, but my circumstances are unchanged. I am not accustomed to being treated as equal to someone of such rank as yourself.”

The man looked amused, a smirk on his lips.

“Taako would have me believe you are not my equal at all; rather he would tell me that you are my better. I believe he has said as much more than once.”

Lup laughed, quiet.

“He would say it.” She could not help but smile. Taako was better to her than she deserved.

“He thinks more highly of you than of any person living or dead,” Kravitz said, and Lup was taken, once again, by how… lucky she was.

“I am fortunate it is so,” she replied, her voice falling quiet. Kravitz looked at her fondly, and Lup thought how much more handsome he seemed here, quiet and relaxed and content in a comfortable space all his own. In company he was like a marble, fixed and perfected. He was much the same at the Estate when he was working, in order that those who worked under his name could follow a strong, confident example. She much preferred the softer iteration of him here, with life flowing through him, and so obviously. She thought that this must have been what Taako saw in him when he consented to marry him.

“My brother does not love easily,” she said, the words abruptly coming up from somewhere deep, secret, and true inside of her, spilling from her lips quickly and unexpectedly, lingering in the still air. She must’ve been inspired to say them by the drink, or by the intimate darkness of the swaying carriage, but now that she had said them, she felt at once as though there was a weight on her chest that, if not removed at once, would surely kill her. She tore her eyes from Kravitz, gazed toward the window at the blackness of the country night. 

“If I knew him any measure less than I do,” she confessed, “if anything had driven us from one another as children… I might believe that he had no heart at all.”

She looked back to Kravitz. His brow was furrowed once more, and he appeared fixed on her every word.

“It is quite the opposite you know,” she said. “It took me so long to understand, when we were younger. But he is not without feeling; rather… he feels so much, when he allows himself, that he can hardly stand it. He is so capable of love that he feels the need to conceal his heart behind wit and artifice, behind distant manners. It is how he survives this world; if everything were to touch him, as it touches us, he would drown from the force of it.”

Lup could not continue for the lump in her throat. She had always been the only one, save Auntie, who could understand the warmth under Taako’s iron exterior, the softness that he hid away for fear that it would one day be his destruction. Lup was the only one in the world who knew Taako enough to understand that to be loved by him was the greatest privilege man could bestow, so great, sometimes, that it was almost painful to know. Lup was the only one who understood the responsibility implied in being one of Taako’s beloved.

And then there was Kravitz.

“I apologize,” she said, around her tightened throat. “I am sure these are not revelations to you. But I must confess I was… taken off guard, upon my arrival to Davenshire, by how much he has come to care for you.” And suddenly it was vital that Kravitz understand, in no uncertain terms, how great his responsibility was too, alongside hers.

“Against all odds, you have captured my brother’s heart,” she said, looking at Kravitz, beautiful Kravitz, and she felt she would cry any moment. She spoke with as much gravity as she would muster, the wine in her blood loosening her tongue to an honesty she rarely felt confident enough to employ.

“You must be very careful with it.”

Kravitz looked warily at her, sympathy deep in his eyes. But with it, something more, something she could not yet identify. 

“I intend to be,” he hedged, and Lup shook her head, closing her eyes, and then looking at him imploringly, leaning forward in her seat. 

“You do not understand me. He will love you like no one alive can. I do not say it lightly. It is… to be loved by my brother, actively, is like nothing else. But betray the trust he places in you for a moment, Kravitz, and it will destroy him. It will break him so that he dares not allow himself to love again, and if there is one thing I will not see, it is my brother, shut off from this world and heartless.

“He weathered the death of our Aunt last year,” she said, “She was one of two people I could say definitively that Taako cared for. I am the other. You are the third I have seen him open himself to in the way that he has in my lifetime.” She swallowed thickly, thinking of Taako’s frightened, joyful expression the first moment he confessed to Lup that he loved Kravitz. Lup had never seen anything akin to it in the world.

“You must understand,” she said, “that you carry his heart in your hands now. He has made himself defenseless for you, and there is nothing in existence he fears more than that. There is no bravery he can summon greater than that which allows him to trust. It has never been simple for him. If he loves you, Kravitz, and he does, it is, whether you know it or not, the result of contemplation deeper and more labored than you can possibly have known when you asked him for his hand.

“I am his sister. He has always trusted me, in our own way. But he has chosen to place his trust in you, quite against his nature, and your responsibility is greater for it.” She blinked the tears from her eyes. To think Taako had only been absent a few days, and she missed him so terribly already. She did not understand how she had lasted in London without him, without being on the receiving side of that deep, overwhelming affection - without seeing him errantly in the hall or across a crowded room, and remembering, every moment, that she would do anything in the world for him.

Kravitz was gazing at her with wide eyes, half frightened, but immensely serious nonetheless, and Lup thought, of all people she had ever met, he seemed the one to hear her words and take them to heart more deeply than any.

“It is precarious ground upon which we stand, you and I,” she said, wryly. “Those who love him as we do.” She chuckled wetly. “But he is the best of us, is he not?”

“He is worth every trial,” Kravitz said then, conviction imbued in every aspect of his voice, and a wave of relief and affection swept over Lup so suddenly that she could hardly breathe. That Kravitz, with one sentence, had made it clear that he knew not only the weight of bearing Taako’s love, but also that he had come, independently, to the conclusion that he would bear it willingly, was a greater gift to her heart than any she could have received from her brother-in-law in all her life. The relief that there was someone in Taako’s life who understood him so that if she was made to leave him, he would be held in safe and loving hands was enough to finally bring the tears spilling from the corners of her eyes. And the kinship that had been lurking in the back of her mind; the sense that Kravitz knew her in an unspeakable way, simply for how much he was able to see the value of her brother, grew in her suddenly and fiercely until it was all consuming.

She smiled at Kravitz.

“Then you are worthy of  him,” she said. And she let her head rest against the carriage wall, and her eyes to slide shut.

*~*~*~*~*

[seven-for-president]

Loved your HC about sleep talking MC. Could you do one with the RFA +V & Saeran about an MC who crochets things for them like blankets, hats, scarfs, even stuffed animals? Thanks!

So, after I googled what to crotch means xD, here you go! ≧ω≦

_Yoosung_

° You always thought that he was cute

° so you made cute things for him (*^▽^*)

° little gadgets you crotched for him like scarfs or hats

° he loved those and cherished them

° but you realized that he couldn’t wear 3 scarfs at the same time… ( TДT)

° it was physically impossible to do so no really ?

° you made up your mind and decided it was time to make something else

° you worked day and night on your new project

° in the end you made a cute little doll from a LOLOL character (*≧▽≦)

° the things you made were never bad or ugly but this one….

° it was a masterpiece!

° of course there weren’t many details, it was more like a chibi Version

° big head and eyes, small body, on one word: cute

° so perfect for Yoosung

° cute and cute mix well right?

° he came home late because of his club activities

° you patiently waited for his return

° when he arrived you rushed to the door and greeted him with a hug

° “Did something happen MC? You seem very cheerful today.”

° “I made something for you.”

° his face was saying: please not a scarf again!!

° lol

° “What did you made this time?” (・_・ヾ

° he was a Little scared but you overheard the this in his voice and dragged him to his Computer desk

° “Look, it´s a little figurine. I thought you have enough scarfs by now.”

° at first he was relived, at least not another scarf thank god!!

° but when he took a closer look he saw it was the character he always played in LOLOL

° “OH MY GOD!!!! MC this is just perfect!!”                                 o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

° you were really glad he liked it, all of your hrd work payed of, finally

° “I´m glad you like it Yoosung.”

° you were happy that you could give him something he seemed to like very much, so you were pleased with yourself

° as a thank you, he went on the most romantic date you could imagine

° awwwww

° so in the end, everyone was happy yay  o(≧∇≦o)

_Jaehee_

° you kept yourself occupied with handwork whenever Jaehee was away, which was often but that´s nothing new ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

° soon there were new blankets and pillows all over the house

° at first she didn´t notice them but after a few weeks it clicked

° “MC, did you bought a new blanket again?”

° by the Looks of it, they were handmade and very expensive because of the good Quality

° “I didn´t bought anything.”

° “But where are all these things from? Blankets, pillows and even tablelothes…”

° “These? I made them.”

° you got up from your place on the Couch and set the new hat you were working on aside

° Jaehee looked like she didn´t believe you

° as a proof you showed her the work in Progress

° she couldn´t believe her eyes… （＊〇□〇）

° she never knew you were so talented

° suprise Jaehee!

° as she saw your talent she asked you to make a few things for her

° scarfs, hats, a Poncho, gloves, and even a stuffed toy from Zen

° you had nothing to do anyway so you agreed

° as the weeks passed you got more and more work to do

° soon everybody from the RFA wanted to have something and you happyily made it

° Jaehee then had a brillinat idea, you could open your own online-shop

° with a little help from Seven, you made him a PhD Pepper-can-plushie in return, your website went online

° more and more requests arrived each day and your Hobby soon becae your fulltime Job

° on some days you were as busy as Jaehee but you never gave up on making little things for her (●♡∀♡)

_Zen_

°  you first had the idea to crotch something for him as a present for succesfully performing his new Play

° it was a small pillow and it said congrats for rocking the theatre

°   super cute, right? o(^▽^)o

° he never noticed on what you were working all the time but he saw that you did something

° he was confused why you always kept it a secret from him

° but hey, he understood that everybody has their secrets

° so you finished just in time for the first Performance of his new Play

° but you were a Little shy and didn´t gave it to him directly (*´∀`*)

° you decided to throw it onto the stage llike other fans did it with flowers and candy

° I wish someone would throw candy at me…

° your crotching skills may were quite well, your throwing skills weren´t

° which resulted in the pillow landing directly on his face

° ouch

° he looked irritated and then Kind of passive-aggressive （；¬＿¬)

° you knew you did something wrong, but was it your fault that you weren´t good at throwing pillows??

° now it seemed like he startedto cry, your sense of fault was bugging you even more…

° but he eventually saw from who the pillow was thrown and his mood changed immediately

° the look on his face said that you´ll have to talk about that after the Show

° the Show was a bid succes (what else?) and you went to Zen´s Dressing room

° he was already there, with the pillow in his arms

° “This was you MC, wasn´t it?”

° you looked down, embarassed and nervous

° “Yes, it was me. I wanted to give you a suprise but it ended up hitting you. I´m sorry Zen.” (⌣_⌣”)

° “Why should I be angry at you? You´re not the first Person to throw somrthing at my face and you´ll surely won´t be the last.”

° he came towards you and kissed you

° “More importantly, I´m honored and very happy that you made me something so Special. I´m moved and I almost cried tears of joy.”

° so that´s why he cried…

° “I´m happy when you´re happy Zen. I just wanted to give you something since you´ve been practising so hard These past few weeks.”

° “So you mean if I Keep practising hard you´ll make more for me?”

° he looked like a Little child on Christmas morning o(≧∇≦o)

° “Sure, if you want that I can make more for you.”

° he picked you up and spun you around while you screamed in shock

° “Zen out me down, if I knew you´d be happy about this Kind of Thing I would have made something sooner.”

° from this day on you had to make something for every new Play he acted in

° oh, and the Foto from Zen who was crying came in the newspaper by the way XD

_Jumin_

° face reality, you didn´t had anything to do in his huge Penthouse

° exept for Petting Elisabeth and waiting for Jumin´s return of Course

° so you made up your mind and decided to find yourself a Hobby

° first you tried teaching Elisabeth some tricks, failed

° then you wanted to start Yoga, failed

° after painting and the attempt of playing the piano, which caused the Violation of Elisabeth´s ears, you tried crotching

° to your and everyone elses suprise, you seemed to have a Talent for that

° of Course you had a few Troubles at the beginning but you became better really quickly o(^∀^*)o

° you started small and soon Elisabeth had a cute Little cape, and then 5

° when you thought she had enough you made something bigger

° first scarfs, then hats and pillows and after a while even whole blankets

° the penthouse looked like a cute little shop from an old Lady

° at first Jumin didn´t really care, he noticed the new things for his beloved cat but didn´t questioned it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

° then there were all of these pillows

° they didn´t look bad and fit into the living room well, so why bother saying anything?¯\_(ツ)_/¯

° but he started to get a bit confused when the blankets started to appear all over the Couch

° “MC, where do all these crotched things come from? Not that they look bad but there are more by each day.”

° he didn´t sound angry or like he would ask you to throw them away, just confused

° “I started crotching and made all these things. If you don´t like them I can put them away or give to someone.”  

° you didn´t mind if they disappeared, it was only a hobby to kill time to begin with anyway

° “No, don´t take them away, I like them and I think you hold a Special Talent for crotching.”

° you were pleased with yourself and kept crotching, now for Jumin

° he was more than happy to receive the small presents you made especially for him

° it only got a bit embarassing when he wore a pink scarf to work XD

° anyone who looked weird at him got fired

_Saeyoung/Seven_

° some People are good with Computers, some have amazing cooking skills

° you had neither

° but your  Talent was crotching, doesn´t Sound  too amazing, I know but it came in handy from time to time

° Seven sat infront of his Computer the whole day and sometimes the night too

° he had a good chair but even a high Quality object gets uncomfortable sometimes

° so you made  a small blanked on which he could sit

° it was made from good wool so the fluffyness didn´t vanished right away and he was able to sit comfortable

° at first he didn´t notice any difference about his chair

° he just wondered when his ass didn´t hurt like hell after 12 houres of work

° but hey, not like he would complain about it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

° he got up to fatch some cans of PhD Pepper along with some Snacks

°  please don´t eat like him…. it´s not good

° when he came back he noticed something was off

° there was a small blanket on his chair which he had never seen before

° he felt Panic creep up in his mind and thought that someone had broken into his house ◑.◑

° however that is possible for the average human being…

° he sat down and was about to open a tab for the CCTV when you exited the bedroom

° you wanted to get youself a drink when you saw a very panicked Seayoung

° “What´s wrong with you? You look like you saw a ghost.”

° “MC, we have to leave. I think someone broke into our house…”

° he looked around to see if he could find anything out of the ordinary

° “Sure, what did this Person do? All of your cars are still here as well as your Computers and robots.”

° he packed you by your shoulders and looked deeply in your eyes

° “MC, they placed a small blanket on my chair….. I´ve never seen it before so it has to be from some intruder.”

° you looked at him

° then you laughed your ass off XD

° he was even more confused than before and tillted his head to one side

° “Why are you laughing? Don´t you take me seriouslay??”

° “I do but I doubt your eyesight. I made this blanket for your chair and placed it there before you started working.”

° at a closer look it really did look homemade and he noticed it was in his favourite shade of red

° after he calmed down you went to bed again and forced him to join you

° but he coulden´t sleep over all the exitement that he had because of your gift Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

° it didn´t look like much to others, youself included, but you thought about something usefull and it made him happy, especially because it was handmade

° seeing him overjoyed like Little kid overa simple blanket you decided to make more o(*>ω

° he fealt bad and made you a lot of Gadgets in return, you both were happy, giving and receiving small Gifts from each other

° but he still tightened the security, if that even is possible… XD

_V_

° you often thought about Things you could give him

° he was a fotographer but giving him Pictures was Kind of …… difficult

° he also didn´t really care for specific bands, which excluded CDs from the gift-list as well ＼| ￣ヘ￣|／

° the only Thing left you thought of was something like a plushie or a nice pillow

° but you thought it wasn´t a present from heart if you just bought some random stuff

° so you thought of croching something for him

° your grandmother thought you how to do simple stuff like scarfs and later how to make figures

° but you knew you needed some practice again in order to make something decent

° it wasn´t hard to hide it anyway…

° that sounds Kind of mean

°so you practiced and practiced

° the first of your works were offerd to Yoosung, beacuse he lost his scarf and to Jaehee

° later you made  a small cat for Jumin and another one for Seven

° of Course V noticed and he slowly became …..jealous

° just a few minuites before his present was almost finished he took the Courage to confront you with his Feelings

° “MC, why do you make all These Things for the RFA?” (*ﾟｰﾟ)ゞ

° you heard that he sounded a bitt nervous and quickly catched on with what was going on

° “Because Yosung neede a new scarf and Jaehee would have gotten sick…”

° he fidgeted with his Hands nervously

° “But why the small cats for Juimin and Saeyoung?”

° “They like cats and both of them helped me out o much over the past few months. Why wouldn´t I Show my gratitude.?”

° “ I understand. But I´d ish for you to make me something as well…”

° he spoke tha last part so quiet tha you almost didn´t heard it and you pretended you didn´t

° “Well, now that I´m finished with my masterpiece I´m going to give ot to it´s rightful owner,”

° he looked hurt ~(>_

° but only for a Brief Moment untill you placed the soft figure of a stuffed camera in his Hands

° “Here, I made this for you. As  present. I practiced hard and I gave the practice products to the others. You know I tink you deserve only the best.”

° he was moved to tears as he Held the small camera Close to his heart

° he even started to cry for gods sake!

° “Thank you so much MC. I can´t express how happy you made me by doing this for me.”

° he gave you a big hug and a sweet kiss

° with this you decided to never give someone exept him a homemade-whatever

° needless to say he was very happy about that ;)

_Saeran_

° he was edgy (this is my word of the week by the wayXD)

° so he needed edgy stuff in his room

° unfortunately he didn´t like common pillos or blankets

° so yo had to dye all of the bedsheet black and the pillows too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

° while you were at it you dyed yours as well

° but his room still looked Kind of lonly, there was only a bed and a wardrobe, all painted in black

° you made up your mind and made some decors yourself, all black and Grey obviously

° first it was a small blanket to put on bed when it wasn´t used

° then there appeared two identical cute pillows on eac side of the bed

° followed by more pillows and after some time two small figurines, repreenting you and Saeran cute

° he was happy, although he was a bit shy to admit it to you in Person

° instead he showed his happiness by sharing his most important Thing with you

° ice cream

° he bought a big bucket of Ben´n´Jerry´s and invited you over for a DVD night, although he hoped it wouldn´t just saty by watching onlx DVDs if you know what I mean ( ° ʖ °)

° you arrived at his place and he opend the door for you, gesturing you to step inside

° you made yourself a home on his Couch hile placing the new pillows you made on it

° they were black with the letters S and C, Saeran Choi (or if your Name starts with C you can Interpret it as that XD)

°  he joined you there and started the film, noticing two new items in his Collection of Things made by you

° “MC, I know I never said thid but I´d like to thank you for all of the Things you made. I realice I don´t Show it very good but I´m extremly happy about them and I value them. Forever, I promise.”

° he gave you a sweet kiss and you were at a loss of words (｡♥‿♥｡)

° a tear started to fall down on your cheek and Saeran thought he said something bad again

° “I´m happy you likethem. And even more that you told me so. I love you Saeran.”

° “I love you too MC, more than I´m able to express.”

° you hugged him and took this a s an offer to turnoff the TV beacuse he was turned on now

° wasn´t that a brilliant choice of words? XD

° all I say from this Point on is that he didn´t Need the day-blanket for a while now wink ( ° ʖ °)

So, I´m finally finished. I apologice for taking this Long but I´m on Holidays in Malta right now and so I don´t have a lot of time writing actually. Before anyone complains that I have time when I´m on Holiday, I actually go to School here to improve my english….But anyway, I really hope you like it and that it makes up a tiny bit for taking so Long

[ifuckekureto]

Thoughts

Putting this under a readmore because it got way longer than I intended it to lol. To summarize, it’s my thoughts on some character interpretation in the ONS fandom (not meant as discourse!!!). Sorry in advance for being a bit disorganized.

I feel a bit distanced from the ONS fandom, but I get a general impression that most people dislike Kureto. And just to preface the next few sentences, I of course think it’s completely natural for everyone to have their faves/non-faves and individual interpretations of characters. That’s what being in a fandom is all about! With that being said... well... I think my interpretation of Kureto differs from the rest of the fandom. And I’m probably just being salty, but this does bother me in a sense because: A) I’ll totally admit I’m a Kureto Apologist™ but more importantly B) if you look at Kureto on a superficial level, disliking him is a natural conclusion... but I feel like not many people look beyond the superficial level when it comes to Kureto. I guess it’s not so much that I think their analyses are incorrect, just incomplete.

In one sense, yes, he does bad things - he experimented on a helpless child and killed innocent people in order to activate a magical superweapon. Killing innocents is usually where I draw the line. But Kureto did this not in the name of power, but in the name of humanity. The vampires were planning to destory the JIDA headquarters, and he stopped them in their tracks. Don’t get me wrong, if I was there, I would be slapping Kureto upside the head. I always believe another solution is possible. This theme of finding another solution seemed to be prevalent in the light novels too (though *a bit spoiler-y for LN 7* such efforts seemed to be largely meaningless in the end). But it does raise the question, what would have happened if Kureto hadn’t initiated the ritual? Would the vampires’ assault have been stopped? Would the JIDA still exist? Would our beloved characters still be alive? Kureto also said that the deaths of the soldiers would be an honorable sacrifice. He wanted to respect their lives, though you would think he would have the respect to tell them ahead of time... rip... In a sense, it is a bit odd to me because you would think there would be plenty of soldiers in the JIDA who would willingly sacrifice their lives, making a surprise murder ritual unnecessary. Of course, you have the elements of maintaining top secrecy and some humans being born outside the world of magic who probably don’t have an unflinching loyalty to the Hiiragi. And there are a bunch of other complicated factors that could be a whole post of their own. (Not to mention the mechanisms to keep the plot rolling, haha.) Long story short, Kureto believed he was doing the right thing, and while I vehemently disagree with his methods, it is a bit different to me than a villain. One of my favorite quotes ever comes from the Mass Effect series, and it describes such a situation as part of “the ruthless calculus of war,” with the idea being that you have to make incredibly hard sacrifices here to save countless lives over there. 

As for his ambition to take over the other human organizations... Honestly, I’m not sure what to think of this yet. I think I will need to see more of this ambition explained before I can form a proper judgment. My first impression is deeply negative. Kureto... what are you doing... One could say it is coming from Raimeiki, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t think that is necessarily the case. Seeing as the vampires have almost globally domesticated humans, my thought is that Kureto either seeks to upend the current way most other humans live or replace other human resistance organizations that exist due to the JIDA having been the only organization to unlock the Black Demon cursed gear (Kagami confirmed this about the JIDA on Twitter, I think). My guess would be the latter. But that’s the Kureto Apologist™ within me... I actually don’t have a positive outlook on what this ambition will lead to.

Anyways, as for the LNs... God, they fit my headcanons for Kureto almost perfectly. So much I could comment on. In my opinion, he really is a good guy by the end of the 7th LN. But many people seem to leave the LNs with the impression that Kureto really is a bully. I did not get that impression at all, to be perfectly honest, especially since he willingly put up his life as a sacrifice to save the world numerous times (though thankfully, it always worked out in the end). The only thing I can think of is when Kureto was on the phone with Mahiru and discussed the brutal ways in which he would torture Sakae. I actually just messaged a friend about this because I do not have a good memory of this passage. I do remember thinking that Kureto was bluffing, and I think Mahiru said so herself, but I really am not sure about this at all. This could be the Kureto Apologist™ within me, though, so take it with a grain of salt. One day, I’ll find the passage and reread it and update this post.

Well... this is somewhat related to the ideas of the first paragraph (but not to Kureto), but a lot of fans seem dissatisfied with Chapter 53. And yes, this will obviously have Chapter 53 spoilers... So if you haven’t read Chapter 53, just skip this paragraph. But some fans seem to think Narumi was a jerk to Mikaela. I... disgaree. First of all, Mika was involved in the skirmish in which two of his squadmates died. I don’t blame Narumi for being a bit wary of a vampire, especially with a demon poking and prodding around in his heart. Secondly, the issues he raised were extremely valid. If Mika can’t restrain his desire for human blood, they’re going to have a tough time on the battlefield together. But Mika lasted soooooo longggg without tasting human blood, that I’m sure he’d be fine. Narumi probably does not know much about this, though. Mika even had to explain how long he’d lasted without tasting blood. And full-blood vampires aren’t always bloodthirsty, as Chess remarked she was full once after drinking from a human. But again, Narumi wouldn’t know this. Also, as a plot device, Narumi’s questioning of Mika also provided much exposition for the reader in terms of what it really means to forsake humanity and become a vampire. And, at the end of the day, Narumi didn’t come off as particularly hostile to me.

And Seishiro... Haha... honestly, there’s not much in canon to redeem him at this point... Just the cute things like he feels relaxed when fixing his dumb hair or the fact that he loves Star Wars enough to name his dog (he has a dog!!!) after Chewbacca. I do think he will be important, though. Kureto said he would be useful. Which... okay, I really hope Kagami explains more of their relationship because Kureto was a big meanie head to Seishiro :’( I guess the biggest thing about Seishiro is that I saw some discourse in which someone called him a would-be rapist (in reference to LN 2, I think... Idk, I got the English version which combined the first two LNs, so I’m not sure). And... hoo... I just... I mean, obviously, he was attempting to humiliate Sayuri, which is just mean, but I’m not sure that there was really any sexual motivation behind it. Also, they were in a school-sanctioned fight. The Hiiragi family is crazy. But this means to me that it wasn’t just some random incident. It was part of the school’s examinations where students are expected to go all-out. The novel mentions that students have even died in these fights, and deaths were not exactly a rare occurrence. That shows the degree of sanctioned brutality in the fights. I use the word sanctioned here a lot because it really carries across the idea that the school’s environment fueled the circumstances for such a situation to happen. Also, Seishiro is just a dumb insecure 15 year-old trying to get approval from his peers who were egging him on. Not an unfamiliar narrative. I know it sounds like I’m defending Seishiro, but unfortunately, I don’t think I can communicate effectively enough to discuss the other layers to his actions without it coming across this way. Also, since there’s so little information on Seishiro, I have a myriad of complex headcanons about him and his behaviors... so I know that I myself am adding a biased layer to this discussion. Anyways, I just think it would be hard to grow up in a society driven by ambition and be inherently less powerful than your peers. He has probably been overlooked for most of his life, and I think his actions in the LNs are desperate ploys for attention and acknowledgement. Gah, heading into headcanon territory here, I better stop myself now.

Yeah... this had less to do with Kureto than I thought it would... But... one last thing... It seems that a lot of people in the fandom still like Ferid even though he gruesomely murdered children (and I don’t think this is offset by his implications of resurrecting them). But Kureto makes a tactical decision and gets h8 for it? Just sayin’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Though I actually don’t really care for this argument because I have soooo many double-standards myself that this is actually pretty hypocritical of me haha.

Sorry, this isn’t meant to be discourse! And I’m definitely not hopping off the ONS hype train anytime soon. And this isn’t meant to be a complaint about the fandom. It’s just that I figured I might offer my perspective too since so little seem to share it. Gah. If you read this far, thanks, lol, and feel free to send a message if you want to discuss it further.