#|❝ Accidentally Hurting Yourself is Way Better Than Hurting Other People. ❞| ~ Felix Headcanons

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Félix is depressed. He has been for a couple years, back to before his Mom disappeared, and it came gradually as he's just extremely stressed by the isolation paired with fame at such a young age.

It's generally "mild" depression (in so far as a constant years long depressive disorder can be mild) because the diagnosis would be persistent depressive disorder rather than major depression, but that's not to say it hasn't gotten much much worse at times.

He's had a few intense episodes where he was borderline suicidal, particularly when his mom vanished, and he did engage in self harm, cutting his upper arm where it'd usually be hidden by a sleeve. Adrien is the only person who knows about that, and he's been sworn to secrecy, because Félix is convinced that their father would just be angry about it. And that would just make things worse.

He also insists to Adrien that it will never happen again, but he knows he's gotten close again a couple times.

He prefers to wear long sleeves because it erases even the slight chance that someone would see the scars, and at photoshoots he refuse to let anyone see him change for the same reason, even if it sometimes gets him teased for being a prude.

Needless to say, but Gabriel knows about none of this. Emilie knew that he wasn't exactly happy before she disappeared, but she had no idea the extent of it or how bad it was/could get.

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hc + sleep!

Both boys were insomniacs even before they became tied with the spirit of Bad Luck and Destruction.

Though it worked a little differently for them.

Adrien really only has two settings, and they’re wide awake and asleep. He doesn’t do sleepy much. He would run all hours on almost no sleep and seemingly act no different because of it… until he just crashes, often without much warning. The only person who can consistently tell when Adrien is getting tired is Felix, and he usually stays up way later than he should, since he has a hard time telling himself when he’s tired.

He has a lot of trouble staying asleep when he does finally go to bed as well, and the earlier he tries going to bed the worse he inevitably sleeps. And god forbid if he does wake up in the middle of the night, because he’s wide awake immediately and odds are he’s not going to fall back asleep that night.

Felix on the other hand is… always tired. Until he actually tries to sleep, at which point he ends up staring at his ceiling for hours on end cursing his mind for not being able to shut off. And doesn’t get enough sleep as a result, meaning he’s tired all day… and so on. It’s a viscous cycle.

He frequently ends up crashing out of sheer exhaustion like Adrien because of this, and that’s the only time he ever gets any good rest.

Since they became Chat Noir both of their sleep schedules have gotten even more erratic, as not only are they often out a all hours as Chat, but it messes with when they’re tired, and the magic of it makes them slowly more cat like, leading frequent naps rather than full sleep more suited to them but with vastly unsuited to the life they live.

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The Agreste publicist maintains active social media presences for both of the twins, basically running influencer accounts for them. This is largely a way to maintain their specific public images and keep them firmly in the spotlight, because everything about their public life exists to advertise their father's company.

The two have no control over these accounts, and are forbidden from making social media accounts for themselves. Adrien has a secret twitter account as Chat Noir though, and it is entirely full of cat puns.

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Part of the reason Félix is so more reserved than Adrien is despite them having the same environment their entire lives is because he gets sick easier than Adrien, which fed into him being more sensitive and easily overwhelmed when they were little, and this grew into his general discomfort around people as he got older, even once the reason he gets sick more often is pinned down.

Said reason is that he's immunodeficient; Common variable immunodeficiency (CVID). It was diagnosed when he was 11, and was a shock then, because Adrien isn't immunodeficient.

I did actual research for this one so you guys have to deal with it!

CVID is... partially a genetic disorder sometimes, but not entirely; the causes are still very fuzzy, but evidence points to the fact that there are genetic factors, but the epigentics- which do vary between identical twins- influence it too, so this is very possible, even putting aside the fact the the cause in unknown in most cases.

So in CVID, the person has a shortage on antibodies. So Félix gets sick easier and for longer than most people, and vaccines are less/not at all effective.

This has been more manageable since he was diagnosed, because he somewhat regularly has immunoglobulin replacement therapy. It was pretty bad when he was little though, and almost died of whooping cough as a toddler, despite having been vaccinated for it, and it was something of a formative experience to him. He still hates hospitals, but highly, highly values doctors and other medical staff.

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Tag Dump 2

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💕

how does my muse express their feelings? do they do through small but meaningful gestures, or through bold declarations?

Well, both really. Both Adrien and Felix are prone to the dramatics and so the bold declarations, but they both fall stupidly hard and fast, and so really they would try to do little things for them all the time. Both Adrien and Felix are very doting romantic partners.

Adrien is a little more prone to bold declarations than Felix, but it’s a very slight difference in the grand scheme of things.

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💜

how long might it take for my muse to say “i love you” for the first time?

…

Not long. Both of them fall fast. Adrien would say it faster, and would only hesitate in worry of it being too soon and freaking the other person out.

Felix would be a little slower, mostly in denying to himself that he’s in love, but he falls just as fast as Adrien, and once he accepts it himself, he’d have a hard time not making it known.

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♡

how does my muse act, consciously and/or subconsciously, around people they are romantically interested in?

Ohhh, that’s a hard one. Consciously both Adrien and Felix... tend to be a little over dramatic about it, mostly because they don’t know how to handle romance subtly.

That’s assuming they aren’t just getting extremely flustered, which is just as likely if they aren’t transformed at the time. These boys have no social skills to be able to properly handle romantic feelings.

Heck, Felix struggles with friendship. Romance is even harder.

Subconsciously however, they’re a bit different.

Subconsciously, Adrien tends to act shier, but more eagerly friendly. Without realising it, he wants to talk to them as much as possible, but tends to be way more self conscious when doing so. And tbh he might never realise he’s crushing on someone like this on his own. He can be a bit oblivious to his own emotions. 

... Felix. Acts even shier as well, though it’s different. He’s extremely shy as is, and just covers it will a cool dismissive attitude, but when he’s subconsciously harbouring romantic feelings, the cold veneer would just drop, and he would seem more traditionally shy with them.

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Random headcanon: Both Adrien and Felix are very book smart. Homeschooled for most of their lives, they’re actually a bit ahead of the curve in school (which makes it easier to still get good grades despite missing so much class because being Chat), but...

They are highly lacking in any other kinds of smarts though. Neither of them really having any social skills or much in the way of common sense. Or communication skills. Especially not communication skills. And they also know nothing about how the ‘real’ world works, having been overly sheltered growing up.

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Have I ever spelled out the difference in the way Adrien and Félix react to Gabriel’s generally shitty parenting? I don’t think I have!

Okay, well there’s a stuff in common. They both feel trapped, and the high expectations do a lot of damage to both of their self esteems, but day to day they react very differently.

Adrien is quiet, and doesn’t like to fight it. He just wants to make Gabriel happy. To maybe hopefully get back the father he knew before his mother disappeared. He’s putting up with it because he has hope that maybe it will get better.

Félix... very emphatically doesn’t do that.

He doesn’t take his father’s shit at all. Whether it’s going behind his back to defy him, or just being a sassy shit whenever he actually sees Gabriel. He’s angry. How DARE their father just pull back on them like that when they are missing their Mom too! Gets himself into a lot of trouble for it, but he’s stubborn, so he usually doesn’t back down.

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💚 

how does my muse feel about love? about falling in love? about being in love?

Adrien is enamoured with the idea of love. He’s such a hopeless romantic and basically loves everything about love. At least in concept as- before Ladybug- he never had any romantic feeling of his own.

Felix is basically the exact opposite. Romantic love terrifies him. He doesn’t ever want to let himself fall in love. He doesn’t want to be some besotted fool chasing after someone (which just made having to woo Ladybug all the more infuriating… until he actually falls for her of course. :P Then he panics).

He never wants to fall in love and is perfectly happy with familial love as the only love in his live thank you very much.

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“REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG.

QUICK REF SHEET || MUN AND MUSE EDITION!

TAGGED BY: @rxbotixs RULES:  Tag ten followers Not gonna happen

MUSE:

NAME: Adrien Agreste NICKNAME: Uhh, anything based on cats, Adri if you’re a close friend ZODIAC SIGN:  Virgo GENDER: Male FAVOURITE COLOUR: Green, yellow, white, light blue, orange, black AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: Pfft, probably not enough LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: how do you avoid paparazzi without a bodyguard HEIGHT: 5′11

MUSE:

NAME: Félix Agreste NICKNAME: Fé, or things based on cats. Only if you’re close to him. ZODIAC SIGN: Virgo GENDER: Male FAVOURITE COLOUR: Green, Dark Green, Dark Blue, Blue, Black, Grey  AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: Definitely not enough even though he’s like constantly tired LAST THING YOU GOOGLED:  YA novels without a stupid forced romance HEIGHT: 5′11

MUN:

NAME: Kendall NICKNAME: Kenny, any of my muse names, I also still respond to my birth name but I’m not gonna say that here ZODIAC SIGN: Cancer GENDER: Agender FAVORITE COLOUR: Purple, black, green, aqua-y blue, red  AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 6-ish usually  LAST THING YOU GOOGLED: Bee Miraculous HEIGHT: 5′6-ish. I’m not sure exactly I haven’t had my height properly measured in like 3 years. 

TAGGING: NOPE DO IT IF YOU WANT