#||ooc|| | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blindedguilt · 1 year ago

Note

Apparently the dialogue in Japanese during the "Leonard's lament/hunger" is a lot more explicit about his inclinations, would you know anything about this? I've heard that the fairy explicitly tells him to do the nasty to the fallen child soldiers but I've seen no confirmation of this

What WAS Changed from Leonard's Hunger to Leonard's Regret - Drakengard Analysis

//Hey anon! I assume you're talking about the game, right? Because I actually DID translate the full script from the World Inside 10th Anni box for the Leonard's Regret/Hunger chapter a while back (It was the only translated part of an unfinished project to do the WHOLE script that likely won't be finished), but that has in-game comparisons between the NTSC-J and NTSC versions as well! I'll link it here if you're interested. Note: This covers only the EVENTS in the game, and not actual in-game dialogue, as I haven't translated that. Sorry! For ease of access, I'll also provide a hopefully adequate summary below the cut detailing the differences between the original script (Later edited into what would be the NTSC-J version of the game), the Japanese version of the game, and the English localisation! Believe it or not, there was actually more cut content between the script and the Japanese version of the game than the Japanese and the English (Which certainly does have it's blunders, but nowhere near as steep.) And of course, if you have any other questions about this, feel free to reach out to my Discord at barnabism or just send another ask! :) Here's the info, strap in for a LONG post ahead:

So to start with the first scene in Leonard's Hunger, there's a couple points of interest right off the bat, actually!

Pointing Out Leonard's Survival

While it was toned down in the Japanese and toned down even further in English, when the Faerie points out the conscripts in the script it was actually an intended jab towards Leonard's absence "Hiding under the trees" which led to his unintentional survival!

(NTSC) "Hark you, hark! Look in the shadows of the trees. The ones hiding away are probably fine." "......" (NTSC-J) "Hey, hey, look carefully through the shadows of the trees. The ones who hide beneath them might be alive and well! Ahahaha!" "...Kgh!" (SCRIPT) "Hey, hey! Look carefully through the shadows of the trees. The one who does that might survive alive and well! Ahahaha!" "...Kgh!"

I wouldn't chalk this up to "censorship", however (At least not in the case of the English), it honestly kinda reads like a bad game of Telephone which is something you'll see a LOT with the English translation. Where the Japanese seemed deliberately toned down to give more "Insinuations" at best or just to outright write around it at worst, the English seems like its trying its best to pick up on that nuance without... Actually knowing where it's coming from? Without that base point of reference (The script), it seems like there was a lot of grappling around in the dark for those poor English localisers to do. :( *That said, there are some instances where things are explicitly written in Japanese but unable to be fluently translated, like Furiae's confession scene, or sometimes... They ARE just outright changed, like the infamous "You smell very nice" line from Ending D. The Drakengard fanbase DOES commonly assume that the latter is the case all-around, but there's a lot more to it than that! Moving on, here's an example of something that was VERY intentionally taken out from the NTSC-J release to the NTSC release.

"Something Else" - Deleted Snippets From Changed Lines

(NTSC) "Oh, it smells fishy. What will you do? Doesn’t it feel dangerous? Are you shaking? Over here! Here! Here!" (NTSC-J) "It smells fishy. What will you do? Can’t you sense it? Isn’t it dangerous? Hahah! Oh? Are you trembling because you’re scared? Or is it something else…? Ahahahahaha! Here! Here! Look here!" (SCRIPT) Faerie (Maliciously): "You can’t see them, but you can smell them, can’t you? Can’t you? That lively scent is your favouriiite~! Right? A large army of smooth, pallid, soft legs is here!"

So as you can see here, the bit from the Japanese - "Oh? Are you trembling because you're scared? Or is it something else...?" was taken out in the English release, but this original Japanese line that appears in the game is COMPLETELY different from what was written in the script!

And if that edited line in the NTSC-J edition of DOD wasn't clear enough as to what the Faerie was hinting at, here's something that's DEFINITELY more explicit. But unlike the English completely removing it over concerns to content, here it seems toned down as a result of differences in writing systems.

"Inexperience" - Pay Attention to the NTSC-J Line

(NTSC) "Right, right! Young soldiers right out of training, gutted like fish!" (NTSC-J) "Right right, ahaha! Still just sweet little things, lacking and inexperienced!" (SCRIPT) "Right, right, ahaha! Boys, boys, beautiful boys! How appetising~!"

Putting aside the Script's description of the young conscripts as "Beautiful" and "Appetising" (Hard, I know lmao), the edited NTSC-J version VERY cleverly used Katakana to it's advantage to make a point that... Honestly, if you ask me, is even more direct than the Script counterpart. Here's a look at what I'm talking about:

(NTSC-J Original) 「そっ、そっ、ウキャキャ! まだまだケツの青い甘チャンばかりだぜ! 」

I've bolded and coloured the Katakana referenced here with the whole article bolded itself, "Ketsu no Aoi", which as a whole can mean "Inexperienced" or "Lacking in x" (Skill, in this case). The interesting thing here is the use of Katakana on "ケツ" here, which, typically when written like that, is used to refer to someone's bottom. So it CAN be taken as "young and inexperienced" or quite literally, "Their ass is inexperienced" which... *Cough* Yeah. This, of course, is a VERY particular use of Katakana, so I honestly can't blame the English localisers just going "Fuck it" and making it their own.

Scrapped Ideas

An added note before we go onto the next scene, which I believe isn't EXACTLY what you're looking for but something I thought you or anyone else reading this would be interested in. There's also something interesting to mention about the "Garrison" that was brought up here ("If the garrison is here, then the prisoners should be, too."), and that's three things:

This WAS originally going to be a type of "Side-quest" where you go save your Union allies from the garrison and defeating the "Monsters" (I believe subhumans) guarding them, and THEN the conscripts begin to attack you in desperation. Unfortunately, it looks like this sidequest was scrapped, though I question what circumstances led to such a specific line pertaining to the quest still remaining.

At one point, it actually WAS thought that items could be used and included - Particularly "Crystals" and "Smokebombs", though looking back, I wonder if these "Crystals" mentioned here were later saved for the crystals you use to find your path in Drakengard 2....

Remember that one conscript that summoned a ghost at the end of the chapter? All conscripts were originally planned to do that. For better or for worse, it didn't go through.

Necrophilia Jokes

As the title suggests, when you mentioned the faerie explicitly goading him on to do it with the dying/dead conscripts, there actually IS something like that not in the NTSC and certainly not the NTSC-J games, but in the script! You'll find a pretty clear example in the very first line!

(NTSC) "Hey, hey! What’ll you do about the bodies? Stab them again?" (NTSC-J) "Hey, hey! What will you do with the bodies? Hahah! Is your torment growing?" (SCRIPT) "Hey, hey! Are you even lusting after corpses? Ahahah! Aren’t you pent up!"

Which of course is it's own can of worms, but shines MUCH more brightly paired with the Faerie's next line, after Leonard states his commitment to give the fallen conscripts a proper bruial:

(NTSC) "You have time for such luxuries? Well, do you? Do you? Do you?" (NTSC-J) "Hahahah! Is this the time for such a deliberate process? Hey, are you listening to me-? Hey, hey!" (SCRIPT) "Ahahaha! This isn’t the time to be toying with corpses. Hey, are you listening to me-? Hey, hey!"

Of course, the Faerie teasing Leonard about necrophilia can and WILL go even worse into the active goading of "Do it, buddy, I dare you" it will give later on, but I want to intercept that with something the Conscript here does in the scripts that really caught my attention - The Conscript, under the influence of Red-Eye, using the weakness of his inclinations to their own advantage.

The Conscripts "Manipulation"

I'm not gonna lie, when I first detail it really brought me back to this fucked up little fanfiction I saw on Pixiv where this conscript ends up seducing and subsequently disemboweling poor Leonard. As you might be able to tell by my mentioning, it's kinda stuck with me. Pixiv is a fascinating place.

(NTSC) "I’m afraid." (NTSC-J) "I’m… I’m afraid…" (SCRIPT) CONSCRIPT (Alluringly): I’m… I’m afraid…

Through the script, there are different dialogue tags to denote the tone in which that particular line is spoken. While this tidbit in itself isn't much, I figured it very worth mentioning just for its role in the general topic of "More controversial things that were snipped out of either the NTSC-J or NTSC versions of Leonard's Regret/Hunger", not to mention the implications it has on the wider nature of Red Eye Disease as a whole! Think about it - Taking into consideration that the script implies the Conscript "Knew" about his inclinations enough to use them to his advantage, Leonard mentioning that this conscript share's his brother's voice is a detail that definitely catches my attention now. I wonder if it was just tragic coincidence, Leonard being unable to judge correctly in his grief, or perhaps RED allowing the conscript to mimic his brothers? Which is an actually TERRIFYING thought, but hey, I absolutely adore it. There is a plethora of writing material and silly thoughts to have from that alone, which, as an RPer, is probably among the best things I can have. XD

The Faerie's Goading

Back to the faerie, there's a final detail in its teasing for this scene:

(NTSC) "Oh? Oh-oh-oh-oh? Feeling pity? For the enemy? Can’t start wavering now!" (NTSC-J) "Oh? Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh? Are you just happening to feel sympathy right now? For the enemy? Now’s no time to tremble. Hey!" (SCRIPT) "Oh? Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh? Are you getting ideas already? For the enemy? I wonder if you’ll go all the way? Just as I thought! Ahah!"

As is the recurring theme here, the script is MUCH more explicit than either, where the NTSC opts for snipping out a couple more details, which in this case is the line "Now's no time to tremble". There's nothing special I have to say about this outside of jesus fuck, of course so we'll wrap it up with the final event scene in Leonard's Regret/Hunger real quick!

Another Note

Just to add, Beholders and Gargoyles were among some of the enemies planned to be put into this level, along with... Treants! It's a popular bit of folklore across Germany, particularly in regard to the Black Forest (Though it came from France) that scared the crap out of me as a kid, so I was pleased to see them here and VERY upset they didn't make the final cut :(

The Final Scene - Leonard's Botched Confession

GOD, from the first time I saw this scene, I was so disappointed. All that tension, all those hints and build-up for Leonard to finally break and be asked "What's going on here? Why are you acting like this?" You'd think you'd get something better than "It's a secret." You just know that this was a scene that got rewritten last second, and it turns out that in the NTSC-J version, it's the same exact case - but in the script? We finally get to see what was intended to be put there (And my years long grudge against that scene was finally, kinda, put to rest.)

So, when Leonard falls to his knees and asks for forgiveness, and Angelus asks (Or perhaps Caim) asks "Why this wasted pity?", the faerie responds for him (Which, keep in mind, Leonard responds to this by immediately begging for Caim to kill him right then and there):

(NTSC) "He won’t say! He’ll never say the truth! It’s a SECRET!" (NTSC-J) "He won’t say! Haha! He’ll never talk about that. It’s! A! Secret! Heehee. Ahahahaha!" (SCRIPT) "He won't say! Haha! That boy was too cute for him to say. He wanted to hold him, among other such things. Heehee. Ahahahaha!"

To add to the bit "He wanted to hold him", the exact word used is "抱きたい", and while it DOES typically mean "To hold, to embrace" among other things in certain ~contexts~ (Like Furiae's confession scene, where the same word is used) it can also mean "To have sex with". The rest of the scene actually doesn't have next to anything changed outside of a tiny added "...You can't." when the Faerie addresses his wish for death that got trimmed from the script, though I will add for context an interesting thing in the same quote a detail added that wasn't originally in the script, similar to a couple other things we've seen so far, is a distinction that can only be seen in Japanese:

(NTSC) "Huh? What did you say? Helloo! You couldn’t die, could you? Just gave yourself a little nick. So sad. Didn’t you make a promise to live with me, big brother? I can’t survive alone anymore, you know. A pact. We made a pact. Don’t forget." (NTSC-J) "Haah-? What are you saying? Helloo? You couldn’t die then, could you? Just gave yourself a small little scar! …You can’t. Didn’t you make a promise to live with me, big brother? I can’t live alone by myself anymore, you know. The pact, the pact! Ahahaha! Take care to remember!" (SCRIPT) "Haah-? What are you saying? Helloo? You couldn’t die then, could you? Just gave yourself a small little scar! …You can’t. Didn’t you make a promise to live with me, big brother? I can’t live alone by myself anymore, you know. The pact, the pact! Ahahaha! Take care to remember!"

It's actually indistinguishable in either translation, so I'll highlight the Japanese text here:

(NTSC-J Original) 「はあ?　何言ってんのお?　もしもーし?　アナタ死ねなかったんですよねー?　ためらい傷バリバリ!　……やだなぁ。俺といっしょに生きてくれるって約束したじゃないですか、お兄さん。俺、もうひとりじゃ生きられない身体なんですよ。契約ね、契約。フヒャヒャヒャ。おねがいしマッス。」 (SCRIPT Original) 「はあ?　何言ってんのお?　もしもし?　アナタ死ねなかったんですよねー?　ためらいバリバリ!　……やだなぁ。俺といっしょに生きてくれるって約束したじゃないですか、お兄さん。俺、もうひとりじゃ生きられない身体なんですよ。契約ね、契約。フヒャヒャヒャ。おねがいしマッス。」

Again, it'll be hard to find a difference through all that, but you'll see the game actually added a term to the script's "ためらいバリバリ" - "A hesitant nick", with "ためらい" meaning hesitant and "バリバリ" standing for a small little cut or scar! Together it really is it's own term meaning "A shallow (hesitant) scar" The game, however, added a character - 傷 - which on the surface, doesn't seem to add much, as by itself the character quite literally just means "Wound". HOWEVER, put together with ためらい this creates a very specific term, ためらい傷 (Tameraikizu) which quick literally means "Hesitation wound", and stands as an exact term for the wounds left over when someone who attempts suicide fails and is left with lasting (Usually permanent) scars because of it. And recalling Leonard's failed attempt to slit his throat in his introductory scene... You know, I honestly wondered how permanent that scar was. Either way, I hope this post has the answers you're looking for! I really enjoyed writing it, and of course, if you have any questions, feel free to message me (Via asks, DMs, or Discord!) and I'll be happy to get back to you! Thanks so much for sending this in, just being able to talk about our boy is a treat, so again, I really enjoyed it~ :3> Again, thank you, and I hope you enjoy! :)

#||OOC||#Drakengard #Leonard #Leonard Drakengard #DOD1 #drag on dragoon #translations #drag-on dragoon

14 notes · View notes