analytical-but-hopeful-explorer

[femreader]

♯┆love wears designer .ᐟ smau

summary: stockholm based designer, a model and a f1 driver

pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!designer!reader x alexandra stmleux

warnings: homophobic comment, usual media

dont repost/translate my work on other platforms, everything is fiction and correlations to people and/or places are purely coincidental (slay enjoy)

author: i am so new in f1 world so please correct me if stuff is wrong ily hope you enjoy

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

INSTAGRAM STORY

y/n.official posted a story

yourbff: design me something I beg

y/n.official: always for you babes 💋

user1: new collab when?

user2: i need new thingggss i beg

user3: i will sell my kidney for a bag

INSTAGRAM

y/n.official leisure pleasure (and some work)

liked by sydney.sweeny, yourbff, voguestockholm and others

comments

user1: mother is mothering

user2: i miss her lover era the things we got

user3: i dont those ex-guys can choke

yourbff: pretty as always

y/n.official: älsklingggg 😭

sydney.sweeny: i miss you

y/n.official: next month. you and me and drinks

alexandrasaintmleux: beautiful <3

liked by y/n.official

user4: overrated jesus christ

user5: move along bitchy boi

user6: foaming at the mouth

user7: omg i cant believe i got to meet you

user8: i am going to be so calm when I ask WHATTTT

user7: i was on vacay in Stockholm and saw her at a cafe she was the sweetest omg

user7: i was like ’i’m so sorry to interrupt’ she just put everything down and gave me all her attention for the whole time and I almost died

y/n.official: you were so sweet 🤍

user8: peoples princess 😭😭

bill.skarsgård: the whole family misses you

y/n.official: missing you guys more ❤️

user9: very demure very mindful

y/n.official: i dont know what this means 😭😭😭

more comments

MESSENGER

INSTAGRAM

alexandrasaintmleux: beautiful weather and beautiful people. Biggest thanks to y/n.official for saving me from a total wardrobe malfucntion!! <3

liked by y/n.official, scuderiaferrari, charlesleclerc and others

comments

user1: god has favorites 😫

user2: 💚💚💚

user3: that's?? a vault piece??👀

user4: THANKYOU! I thought i was going crazy

user3: since when has y/n give stuff from the vault i need them

user5: money talkssss....

user6: yea or she just wanted to impress rich people

user7: she's alrady one of the most succesful designers of her generation, it’s not like there’s a lot she has to do to impress anyone😒 stay mad

y/n.official: you look beautiful älsklinggg, i had the best time altercating this to your preferances 💕

alexandrasaintmleux: come by again when youre in monaco, charles is jealous he didnt get anything

charlesleclerc: ALL I'M SAYING I'D LIKE TO GET CUSTOM Y/N BAG

y/n.official: deep breaths, i'll see what i can do 😗

liked by charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux

user8: and all I'm saying charles deffo could jsut order one online instead of mentioning it under y/n's comments....

charlesleclerc: always so beautiful mon ange ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux: ❤️❤️❤️

more comments

INSTAGRAM

y/n.official: nordic f1 track whenn? Thank you scuderiaferrari for having me over, I'll design you new helmets anytime <3

liked by yourbff, scuderiaferrari, alexandrasaintmleux and others

comments

yourbff: nvm me just crying in my toyota odyssey

y/n.official: girl youre sitting on my couch eating my ice cream

user1: omg are two of my lives colliding?

use2: älskar dig så mycket ääääää

scuderiaferrari: pleasure having you, please design the next helmet so carlos and charles can stop pestering us

y/n.official: copy that 🫡

alexandrasaintmleux: so lovely to see you again

y/n.official: you too babes! we need to go get drinks again

charlesleclerc: what about meee

y/n.official: fine. you can join i suppose.

charlesleclerc: I suppos- I WON ???

user3: ...."again?"

user4: im telling yall but none of you are ready

user5: ily y/n!

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TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

y/n.official: tack så mycket stockholm, once again. It’s always an honor to be part of your pride. LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE

liked by yourbff, alexandrasaintmleux, omarrudberg and others

yourbff: love is love and everyone thinking otherwise can fuck off

liked by y/n.official

omarrudberg: <3

liked by y/n.official

alexandrasaintmleux: beautyyy

charlesleclerc: waiting for that bag

alexandrasaintmleux: timeout, phone down

charlesleclerc: ....sorry 😔

charlesleclerc: y/n.official you look beautiful cheri <3

liked by y/n.official

user1: charles is so under their feet lmao

user2: or down bad

user3: both

liked by carlossainz and pierregassly

user4: 👀👀

INSTAGRAM

charlesleclerc: Quick get-away between races

liked by scuderiaferrari, alexandrasaintmleux, y/n.official and others

user1: omg travel leo

user2: THAT'S GAMLA STAN THAT'S STOCKHOLM HOLD ON

user3: lmao you sure?

user2: lmao yea, i live in the damn neighborhood 🙄

user4: just saying y/n.official is based there and was for a fact there too just now for stockholm pride

y/n.official: told yall would love fika-ing 🤭

y/n.official: cuties

liked by charlesleclerc and alexandrasaintmleux

alexandrasaintmleux: beautiful baby boys

y/n.official: and an angel i see 👀

alexandrasaintmleux: stop trying to make me blush

y/n.official: but it's so adorable

charlesleclerc: then there's two of you

user5: ?????

user6: ahsgfs oh my god they’re flirting on main

user7: idk if i saw them but i think i saw leo looking dog in the kungsträdgarden

user8: i need my poly girl y/n happy again pls 😭😭

user9: yall people can be just friends 🙄

MESSENGER

MESSENGER

INSTAGRAM STORY

y/n.offical posted a story

yourbff: are you in monaco and didnt tell me

user1: stop trying to convert normal people

user2: mmmmhhmmm i see

yourbff: do not leave me on read bitch (affectionately)

y/n.official: teehee mind your biz (affectionately)

y/n.official: yea i am

yourbff: i want invites to the wedding

yourbff: i also coin coming up with chalexyn

INSTAGRAM

USweekly: Stockholm based designer Y/N Y/L/N's upcoming winter collection attracted full house to the fashion show held in Stockholm. Designer herself could be seen with fresh new hair reigning in the show, hardly showing attention to the guests. Recent speculations between the designer, Formula One driver Charles Leclerc and his girlfriend Alexandra Saint Mleux have kindered, although none have been confirmed or denied.

liked by user1, user2, user3 and others

user1: jesus christ let woman work

user2: ikr it's not like she has a whole ass fashion show to co-ordinate

user3: i love how sydney is always where y/n.official's shows are

user4: sydney's said many times she loves her brand because Y/N allows altercations to pieces it's so cute

user5: can i now freak out that charles and alex where there too

user6: yea but they hardly interacted with y/n

user7: you dont exactly stand around when your brand is having a fashion show bruh

more comments

INSTAGRAM

y/n.official:

i love you my team, my incredibly talented models, my friends and family who have been a continious support in making this winter's collection. My biggest and heartfelt thank you's go to you and my incredible fanfollowing who never cease to amaze me with your love, support and concern.

I love my job. I am grateful for what I have and proud how I have gotten here. Each piece is the work of hours and hours of love, dedication and passion from multiple people. They stand for uniquity amongst people, courage to be yourself and love all around us. Every collection we've made is special to me, but this one just a clip above the rest.

Therefore, me and my team proudly present Y/N design's Winter collection 2024:

Love wears Designer.

liked by charleslecler, alexandrasaintmleux, yourbff and others

yourbff: so incredibly proud of you, min favorit tjej <3

user1: all i do is cry on this app 😩😩😩😩

user2: y/n can stomp on me, skin me alive, sew a dress from my skin, wear it and reuse my teeth are accesories and i'd thank her🫵🏼

charlesleclerc: always so proud of you mon cheri <3

y/n.official: thank you min skatt

alexandrasaintmleux: my best girl, congratulations for this. So so proud.

y/n.official: thank you both for supporting me every step of the way <3

user3: their comments!!?? 😭🤍

user4: this was not just a launch. IT WAS HARD LAUNCH. im telling yall

sydney.sweeny: loved the show, loved the pieces, i am so proud of you as always!

liked by y/n.official

more comments

INSTAGRAM

y/n.official: my muses ❤️ charlesleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux

liked by charleslecler, alexandrasaintmleux, yourbff and others

alexandrasaintmleux: thank you for all you've given us. We love you, our incredible skcetcher

liked by y/n.official, charlesleclerc

charlesleclerc: I love you my girls

liked by y/n.official, alexandrasaintmleux

y/n.official: you two are making me cry. Jag älskar er så mycket. Thank you ❤️

yourbff: fuuuuuucking finally

yourbff: happy for you all 🤍

liked by y/n.official

charlesleclerc: still waiting on that bag

y/n.official: check your backseat 😇

charlesleclerc: both of you get back from the brunch. right now.

comments are restricted

author: teehee im dabbling in smau’s in hibernation

[enderfenderdragon]

can you do tamaki amajiki with a breeding kink? Would also prefer some scenes of him being a switch.

yeah sure, i did make the reader female. is that okay? this is the first request i ever have had, so thank you. hope you like it! :D

also i realised i didn't really do the breeding kink, i just found it hard to write for. i'm so sorry, i know it was what you requested. but i tried to make up for it. i really am sorry. :(

--------------------------------

warnings!: dom!tamaki amajiki, sub!tamaki amajiki, dom!reader, sub-ish!reader, p in v, smutty (kind of), reader is a female. (sorry if you don't like that.) use of y/n. use of bunny (tamaki calls reader 'bunny') not proof read!.

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if you don't like the sound of the warnings please do not put in your opinion, please leave the comments, likes and reblogs for the people who like my posts and work.

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you moan his name and his thrusts speed up.

"am i doing good?" he asked looking into your eyes with affection and lust.

"y-yes, s-so good" you reply moaning his name once more.

you and tamaki have been at it for about an hour. him switching from being a sub to a dom then a sub again, it seems he likes to be submissive at the hands of y/n. who would of known? one of UA's big three was submissive with his partner.

you hear tamaki growl like a wolf and flips you over to your under side (belly). he starts beating his cock deep inside of your tight walls.

"a-ah!" you moan from surprise.

your moans and cries only make tamaki become even more dominate. but once he starts to get a little too ruff you tell him (more like beg him) to slow down.

"t-tamaki! t-too r-ruff!" you cry. back arching as

his eyes widen and his thrusts stop at once when he heard you cry. apologises and asking if your okay spill from his mouth.

"oh my god, y/n are you okay? i-im s-so sorry, b-baby im sorry" he quickly whispers.

he quickly and gently flips you over and cups your cheek.

"a-are you o-okay? i-im so so s-sorry. p-please f-forgive m-me." he whispers to you. resting his knees on the bed near your feet. his body stiff with anxiety.

you cup his hands on your cheeks.

"y-yes, you were g-great." you whisper back.

his whole body relaxes when you whisper this. you move one of your hands from his hand on your cheek to his cheek.

"b-but you did become a little too ruff. you have to remember, im not as strong as you tamaki" you say to him, voice stern. trying to make him realise or remember that you are indeed, smaller then him.

"i-im sorry b-bunny" he pulls you into a hug. you quickly hug him back and sigh.

"how about we just watch a movie hmm?" you say into his ear making him shiver, also making you laugh.

"d-dont laugh a-at m-me. i-it's n-not funny." he pouts.

"y-yes it is, it so is." you say back to him ruffling his hair.

you stand up and walk to your shared bathroom. you have a shower, and then tamki has a shower. while he is having his shower you get the snacks, the movie, the blankets and all the extra things you need when having a movie night with tamaki.

your sitting down thinking: 'why did tamaki growl, then flip me over. then start beating my pussy? is he okay? is he annoyed at me?'

your thoughts get interrupted when tamaki steps out of the shower, playing with his hair as a way of 'drying it' he calls it.

"hey" you hear him say.

tamaki crawls towards you on the bed, cupping you cheeks.

"w-whats on y-your mind b-bunny?" he asks tilting his head the way you always found adorable.

you sigh, looks at him through your eye lashes and takes a deep breath.

"why did you suddenly become very dominate and very ruff with me?" you ask, your voice small just above a whisper. afraid anyone would hear what you asked.

tamaki's face becomes a firing mess and he quickly covers his face with his hands.

you laugh and cup his hands, gently making him let you see his very red face you ask again. but instead of hiding his face tamaki mumbles so quiet you don't hear him.

"tamaki, hunny i didn't hear you." you say quietly back.

the next few words that escapes tamaki amajiki's mouth make your whole body stiffen and your face becomes hotter then a volcano.

"i-i was t-trying to b-breed y-you" he mumbles.

@the-little-devils-chaos

[firefly--bright]

lovesick.

jean kirstein x gender neutral! reader. modern a.u.

summary : jean always felt like a fool around you. you've been a fool to not see it.

warnings : very subtle themes of religion (expected at this point)

a/n : y'all are getting FED. pure fluff to make up for peeks and blinders. i hope you like this :)

masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ requests are open! ✿ enter my taglist. ✿

taglist : @jeanscremebrulee , @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody .

✿ inspired by this laufey song ✿

he stayed with you for three nights.

before his flight back to his hometown for thanksgiving - an invitation for which had been extended to you as well, by Jean's mom. you had refused politely. you didn't want to come in between a special family holiday with their own traditions. jean tried to persuade you, told you that he'd be so bored without you there, that you're going to like it, but you brushed it away anyway. said you really didn't want to be a bother, flight tickets would be even more expensive with you there, Jean's mother would have to prepare extra food for you. you'd take too much space, you said.

jean said that it was a space he'd let you take. you shook your head with a smile.

before leaving, however, the two of you decided to spend three nights together. everyone had already left to see their families - sasha and Connie had taken the road, Marco left by flight as well. your apartment felt eerily empty so you asked jean one night, tipsy on cheap and old wine, to stay with you for the last three days he was there. after which you would see him - and by extension, everyone - a week after new years. you'd be stuck here, in an empty apartment, all alone, and he really shouldn't be leaving his dear best friend alone to rot, should he?

and jean had been so stupid to agree. he knew he shouldn't have after what he discovered he kept feeling about you. but you were looking at him with such conviction and warmth that he had to.

god, he was so lovesick. it made him feel stupid, really. but it was you, so he didn't really mind it. he'd learnt to shed any sort of discomfort with you.

well, he hadn't learnt it. you had just coaxed him into it without even using your voice.

he rolled his eyes and agreed.

"alright, alright, fine. I'll stay over. but I need to pack first."

you smiled brilliantly. "done!" his heart leapt out of his chest and into your warm arms that were currently trying to pour some more wine. he moved the bottle away from your hand.

"no more wine for you," he said, pushing a forgotten glass of water your way. "have some of this instead."

your smile didn't dissapear, though, and Jean hoped that his heart was still beating in your hands. you just looked at him with your cheek resting on the table and you looked so comfortable in that blue sweater of yours, with him. you lift your head up and drink the water diligently.

he was so, so stupid.

he got everything packed in two hours. made sure everything was organized and easy to remove, and left the suitcases next to your door so he could leave directly from your apartment to the airport. you smiled, again, when you welcome him in, proposing to go to the ice cream parlor.

it was winter. jean grumbled as he adjusted on your couch to glimpse at you from the corner of his eye. you were rummaging in your kitchen for something - chocolate - when you asked him if he wanted to go there with you. he rolled his eyes.

"it's winter." he reminded you. as if you could forget.

"please. you know I don't want the ice cream there. it's the ho-"

"hot chocolate, yeah, I know. that's not why I said it's winter. i dont want to walk in this cold." he complains, but he's already getting ready to move from the couch.

"you make it sound like it's a grand mission." you say, but you've gotten the hint as you, too, move to grab your coat from the rack near the door.

"well, it is, for me. my toes freeze up just like your hands do." he says, but again, he's already slipping his shoes on.

you smile teasingly. "whats the point in having such long legs if you're not going to use them?" you're slipping your phone, wallet and keys into your pockets.

he wears his coat. "self defense." he says. it's not the most normal answer. it makes you laugh as you close the door behind you with a click, locking it. jean would continue to say anything you want him to to make you laugh.

you don't ask him to say anything. he does it anyway. the walk to the ice cream parlor is short, and jean wonders if it's going to snow soon.

"i hope it snows," you say, almost reading his mind. jean isn't even surprised by it. he nods, muttering "same."

"i thought you hated cold?" you say. he should've guessed you would've said that because it's so obivous, the low hanging fruit that came back to bite him in the ass.

"snow is different from cold," he lies, "it's..." he trails off. it's idiotic. he didn't even have anything to say. you breathe out a laugh.

"it's what? better than rain?" you bump your shoulder into his.

"anything is better than rain." he answers, shaking his head, "snow is like if rain was cooler and better." he says, adding a "literally cooler." at the end.

it makes you laugh again, but softer this time. it wasn't that funny. he notes that down in his head like he's going to be quizzed on it later.

"i knew you'd say that." you speak. your warm breath gets fogged up against the cool weather.

the sentence is said in one breath, a certain softness and confession to it. of course you knew what he'd say, out of all people, you would. you'd know what he was planning to do, how the gears inside his body worked, and still let your gears work right beside his anyway. he was sure you knew every little working of his stupid heart except for the fact that it beat only for you.

your shoulders are brushing again. he licks his drying lips, trying to come up with a better joke to pass the time. not that he had to, because silence with you wasnt uncomfortable or forced. it felt like peace, like a small pocket of warmth that couldn't be broken. but he wanted to hear your laugh again; the sound was his own pocket of warmth, even if you complained, sometimes, about your laugh being too loud and boisterous, he didn't care because you were happy and smiling and he wouldn't do anything to take that away.

he's still thinking of what to say when there's a buzz in both of your pockets - someone messaged the group chat. he watches as you pull your phone out of your pocket, typing in an answer that makes his phone vibrate again. he takes a peek at your screen.

Marco :D : my mom is going crazy over how many people she invited :')

she's showing me off to all her friends ijdlsk

constance : I'd show you off if I was your mom too tbh

sasha <3 : agreed

aww say hi to your mom for us!!

Marco :D : will do!! wish you guys were here tho :/

constance : kinda miss annoying jean right about now

sasha <3 : *atttachment : 1 image*

it was a picture of Connie sitting in the driver's seat in their parked car, and his phone was open to a video of jean grumbling something under his breath and connie leaning in close to him snickering and whispering a joke in his ear.

sasha <3 : he was watching this the entire ride while I was drivinf

constance : stop EXPOSING me

jean hears you snort out a small laugh. he sighs in annoyance, saying "I don't miss it." as an obvious lie.

you breathe out another laugh; jean wins again, and hold up the phone to take a picture of the two of you. it's a little blurry when you click it, jean holds a small smile looking at you and you hold up a peace sign with a smile that's yours.

the picture is sent to the groupchat. jean loops his arm into yours so you don't stray too far away from him while typing out 'trip 2 ice cream parlor for the hot choco'

marco :D : you two are inseparable istg :') send hot choco pics

(beautiful ass art presented to you by @ppushable )

Marco replies instantly.

constance : Marco asking for hot choclate pics like people ask for nudes

I'm 6'3 btw

sasha <3 : LIARRR

also wow hot chocolate without me????? sin.

you smile before switching your phone off and slipping it back into your pocket, saying something about how the two of you should steal their hot chocolate recipie. jean nods half-heartedly.

his mind is on fire. 'you two are inseparable istg' in Marco's words, something he hadn't thought about before. he didn't have to think about it, either, because being with you didn't make him question it. of course he'd always come back to you even if his bones were charred from the inside, even if his body screamed at him to take rest. you were his rest.

he thinks about how yes, the two of you are inseparable, and maybe he's being delusional, but he thinks about how you co-exist with him so peacefully : a feat noone could do with a smile on your face. there has to be cold to imply the existence of warmth, there had to be chaos to imply peace. there had to be you for there to be a him. he thinks about how glad he is to exist the same time and same place as you, your arms linked and pace synchronized. you rest your head on his shoulder when you walk. he thinks about how the two of you simply breathing in such close proximity beat all odds.

his heart beat faster at the thought. or maybe it didn't, maybe he was just aware of the fact that he had one, maybe you were the only one that could make him listen to his own heart that he had forgetten existed for a while.

an ungodly amount of hot chocolate had been drunk only because your "jean they have a discount and it's winter. we have to." persuasion had worked like always, and he had refused to let you pay like always, and you were rubbing your full belly as you unlocked the door to your apartment. it was dark now, reminding jean that winter had a way of forcing stillness and silence before it was due, but it didn't feel that way anymore. it didn't feel like there was a stillness or stiffness because the lights in your apartment were warm, and the hot chocolate had oiled up the machine of his body as much as your presence had. you removed your coat and shoes near the door and jean looked at you, surrounded with these lights and this warmth and softness and thought about how perfectly you belonged here. with him, sharing a space, the same air, the same layers. and he thought about how he belonged here too. with you.

"wish we could do that everyday," you claim, stretching your arms above your head, fingers interlocked. jean scoffed.

"im concerned about your diet." he said.

"it was the best meal we've ever had! if I commit murder and i'm put on death row-"

"death row doesn't exist in this state-"

"then I'd want, like, a whole barrel of hot chocolate as my last meal. with whipped cream on top."

"i think you'd be dead by chocolate overdose instead of the actual punishment."

you smiled, and jean swore he'd melt despite the cold weather after seeing the glint in your eye. "exactly. don't act like you wouldn't like to die by chocolate consumption. I've seen the way you look at chocolate ice cream."

jean clenches his jaw because you're right. "i dont look at-"

"yes you do. you look at it like it just like you look at Reiner's cat."

"she has a name, yknow." he reminds you, sitting beside you on your couch. his arms fold on top of his chest to keep his hands from straying and holding yours. hes afraid you'd feel the yearning behind his touch, because it was something he couldn't control. he could control his tongue from telling you about it, he could control his thoughts to an extent, he could control his stupid heart to an extent, but not his touch.

"right, my bad. what's her name, again?" you ask, just because you know it'll get a rise out of him.

it does.

"it's mcflurry. the fact that you forgot speaks a lot about your character, just so you know. im judging you."

you giggle. he loves it. "you're always judging everyone."

"not you. never you." he says. he doesn't just mean it for the judging everyone part, though, because his voice is soft and startlingly slow, enunciating every syllable because he wanted you to know. he wanted you to know and understand that he'd never not give you the benefit of doubt. he'd never doubt you in the first place.

you're not startled. you smile to match the tone of his voice and eyes. he inhales.

"thank you." you say. you want to say much more. jean doesn't need to hear much more though, because he knows already. he knows that you're not thanking him out of obligation, but out of devotion. like he had thanked the skies out of relief after his middle school English teacher got fired. it was deserved, honestly, the guy had it coming, and all the students had an unsaid hatred towards him-

your hand rests on his shoulder, rubbing the fabric of his shirt. jean exhales.

"whadya wanna watch?" you ask, reaching for the remote on the coffee table, your hand still on his shoulder as if you belong there.

you do.

"that episode of new girl we left out on." he says.

you smile. he belongs there. "fuck yes."

despite thinking that he'd sleep in and relax, his eyes woke him up just as the sun came up, which was to say extremely early. jean groaned as he stretched his limbs, finding himself on the sofa just as he was left last night; only without you. you had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he refused to move until you'd wake up, which turned out to be only twenty minutes ago. his head fell on yours and he fell asleep as such, and his mind quietened with the sound of the t.v. and your soft snores in his ear.

he blinked his bleary eyes up, his bones creaking in protest. but he didn't let them be heard because he found you, with your back facing him, outside the small balcony of your apartment.

it wasn't even a balcony - when you first moved in, it was just an empty space attached to the large window that was unkept and dirty. sasha and Mikasa, her previous roommate, didn't find that much of a use there anymore, but you did. you insisted on renovating the little platform, adding fake and real plants along with a small mat on the ground so anyone could sit there. come every small celebration, you'd decorate it with fairy lights and different ornaments, and jean found it all too endearing how you kept making things yours, including the kitchen that now held mugs with sayings that had outdated humor on them that you had purchased 'ironically', the couch which was now covered in a blanket you had found in a thrift store, the walls where you'd stuck up pictures of all of them together and little sticky notes that the five of you had passed around to each other during class throughout the year, and Jean's heart.

he'd let you rip apart any semblance of empty space in the workings of the pumping organ if you promised to make it yours in the process. and you had, somehow, because his heart now refused to feel empty, and just like you did with the apartment, you had marked every rusted and untamed part of him with your own touch and words that would play on repeat in his chambers for a long time.

he gets up from his place on the couch, passing a hand through his hair before making his way to where you stood outside. you were leaning on the railings, your chin resting on your palm. if he had to guess, it was almost 8 in the morning, the sun was shining in the way it always did in the winters - it's presence was known but shone only softly, refusing to be forgotten. jean leaned on the railing in the space right beside you, shoulders touching yet again.

you smiled at him. "good morning." you said, and your voice matched the skies above you - soft and refusing to be forgotten. he'd never forget you.

he smiled back, face scrunching up so his eyes were squinting as he looked at you, still getting used to the morning light. "morning." he replies raspily. "couldn't sleep?"

you shook your head, looking at the treetops below you. "slept well enough. thanks for being my pillow."

jean's ears redden. you're convinced it's the cold. "youre welcome." he wants to make a joke about how his services would need a payment, but he's too lost in the way your face is lit up by the sun to say anything.

even if you're looking away from him, he can see the shine in your eyes. you've always said, in your own way, that his eyes were really pretty, but he'd argue that it was your eyes that were pretty because only yours could meet his the way they did. only yours looked at him the way they did, only yours had the courage to. only yours could see the way you saw the world.

he looks at the way your lips are shining - he had noticed how whenever they were chapped and dry youd lick your lips a little too much. he had carved all your little traits into the forefront of his skull, drawing in shapes and filling in the blanks of the expanse so that it could be filled with you- your smile, your eyes, your hands, your laugh, your blinks. everything.

god, he thinks, he's so lovesick.

the wind brushes his hair away from his face. he can tell you're shivering slightly even if your arms are under a layer of thick sweater, and his chest heaves slowly - inhale, exhale, inhale - he tucks you under his arm to keep you warm. you smile. - exhale.

if there was a god that day, he was sure that he was out to get jean when he saw you use his mother's noodle soup recipe, warm foods to keep his insides safe not knowing that you were doing that already by just being there. the pair of you had the soup in two servings each, the second one topped with that new chilly crisp you had gotten, the one that made Jean's mouth turn into a puddle, and he was sure whatever fates had aligned that day were out to get jean because his stupid heart did that stupid thing it always did when he was around you. it didn't skip a beat anything poetic like the Hallmark movies, no, instead it stayed there, in his chest because that's where you belonged. it stayed with you, in his chest, in his wheezing, creaking, old machine that was only just realising that it was creaking and wheezing because it was loved.

and he swore he was down on his luck because he saw you dancing to the end credits of yet another shitty movie that you had jokingly decided to hate-watch but only ended up slightly liking - an opinion he would not share with anyone else but you - unsynchronised to the beat of the song, not knowing what to do with your hands, until jean joined you in the cramped space infront of your t.v. where you were dancing and held them, held your hands, guiding them to the melody, telling them what to do with a softness that was only reserved for you.

stupid beating heart.

when the last day rolled around, jean refused to move from his seat on your bed. the laptop you had decided to get homework done on was left askew on the unmade and comfortable bed, and Jean's neck held a small ache at its base, but it was worth it because you were beside him and he was sure your own neck had the same pains he had. it was well into noon, and unlike the previous day where the pair of you had woken up early, you were still dozing off at his side, rolled over with your back facing him.

he had never known this type of peace. the silence that coated the room was welcome to the point that it felt like it had always been there, something jean was only just realising.

he sighed. wondered about how his life had gone on without you in it for so long, how he'd been clambering for meaning not knowing that you were in it, the same earth, with the same beating heart. he wonders how he'd live without you again, how he'd avoid feeling the grief if you ever did leave.

he'd have to hold you then. he'd have to grasp on to you in the same gentle way that he always had, and not give you any reasons to leave. but that was the thing, right, because if you wanted to leave you'd have done it already, and you hadn't, so thst had to mean something, right?

he's always been afraid of loving too much. he'd always been afraid of the fact that he had too much to give, so he always ended not giving any of it because he was too cautious, too self aware to. but you made him comfortable in the way he had never felt before, you made him want to love you too much. he was still deathly afraid of it, but you made it bearable to look at it in the face without flinching.

the rustle beside him made him blink back into reality, turning his head towards your no longer sleeping figure, a small smile etching itself onto his stubborn lips.

what had you done to him?

the wires in his brain were wound too tight as you talked about everything and anything, him replying and adding onto your obscure sentences like they were always supposed to. the gears in his heart continued turning and turning and turning to the sound of your laugh when he, again, had made a joke as a desperate hope to make you commit to fleeting happiness.

it wasn't so fleeting for him, however, because it was you.

night rolled around just as you finished a late lunch/early breakfast for dinner situation - pancakes and french toast and hashbrowns sprinkled with seasonings - and jean rubbed his belly as he came face to face with the confrontation of him leaving in an hour.

but you were simply blinking, sitting infront of him, going through you phone to find a picture that you thought was relevant to the conversation, a smile on your face. and even if it was so mundane, so normal, it felt like a good dream. like he was going to wake up any time soon and come to the revelation that it had all been fake and conjured up because it had to, because there was no way this was real. when you finally found what you were looking for, flipping the phone around so he could see, he found a hard time looking away from your eyes and giddy smile.

did you know? you had to, right? he laughed covering his mouth with his hand as you flipped your phone back infront of you. you had to know. there was no way you didn't. there was no way you had turned him into himself without knowing that you were the cause of it. it was so obvious-

"I'll miss you." you say. it's a quiet admission, sounding like you've wanted to get it over with for a while now. hes sure you have. he looks at you and his heart - the damned machine - does what it always does; it clangs and makes noise.

maybe you hear it. maybe you're meant to.

"i know we'll see eachother again in a while but...I don't know. I've always wanted to spend new years with my friends and not alone. I'm glad we met. I'm glad we exist together." you say. it's not rushed or hidden or desperate. you're baring yourself open to him and it doesn't feel uncomfortable like it does when youre changing clothes infront of someone and you're bare and open and all your scars and hairs and marks are on display for them to see. it feels like this is how it's meant to be.

he blinks.

hes sure if there was music accompanying the moment, it would be swelling and high-pitched and perfect - the type that makes you feel and ache in just the right ways. but there wasn't, and the silence played a greater cacophony than any instrument, because your sentences didn't need embellishments to be pronounced. your statements didn't need proof of being alive - they were alive and bare open and vulnerable and so was he now, because of you.

his heart ached comfortably.

stupid, beating heart.

he realised he hadn't said anything when you got up from the table. he was still staring at the spot where you were a minute ago as you took both your dishes back to the sink. he blinks again. inhales, exhales. gets up to join you, takes your hands that were reaching for the soap in his own warm ones - god they're so warm - and says, "I'll miss you too."

he was glad there's no music. he's glad that his voice, even if it was soft and gentle, wasn't muddled with melody. inhale, you were smiling, exhale. blink. his involutary actions got more attention because you made him aware of his machine. how his machine didn't feel like a machine anymore. how his machine - metal and steel and nuts and bolts - felt soft. plyable. putty in your hands. you're squeezing his hands again; the comfortable ache returning and the two of you start doing the dishes that had been ignored for a while.

warm, orange lights glowed from above you, the sounds of dishes clanking and the sink running was the only things to be heard, and the domesticity became divinity. the kitchen became holy, and his hands - metal and steel and nuts and bolts - became the remark of a sculptor creating something beautiful. the moment didn't feel crafted but it felt like he had caused it, and if he was capable of creating something as great as this then he was sure he was walking side by side with God.

beating heart. inhale, exhale, his hands dry the plate you just handed him, he's hearing you hum softly to a song he knows far too well. inhale, exhale.

an hour had passed sooner than he liked it to, and he drove all the way to the airport next to you. you kept talking like you had to get it all out there before he left. it was only a month and a half, and he knew you knew you were being dramatic, but he loved it anyway. you opt the radio instead of the aux for the first time, surprised when your favourite song comes on.

he turns the volume up. you sing to match it's pitch. he wishes he can show you his childhood bedroom. you'd love it, he says. "i have speakers. i used that fact as like a bribe to make new fridnds. i told people, 'hey I have speakers in my room' and they'd want to hang out with me." what he didn't say, however, was that he only wanted them to see the speakers in his bedroom. now, he wanted you to see him in his bedroom, he wanted you to linger near the doorway. best part was, he knew you would someday.

it wasn't that long of a drive. it felt long though, somehow, because time stretched and restricted when he was with you, and he stopped the car at the airport gate with a heart pounding off from his chest. he wonders if yours was too, but one look at you confirms that yes, it was. you two were in the same boat, the same machine that had been sanded down and weathered until it was soft and rounded.

inhale, "well, this is...it" exhale.

you nod slowly, "this is it." you breathe out laugh. "why are we acting like we're never gonna see eachother again?" you say but you already know the answer. jean does too.

he laughs the same way you do, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he looks ahead, one hand on the steering wheel, refusing to move anywhere without you. "maybe it's the amount of movies we've seen." he says. a lie.

"and who's fault is that?" you ask, teasing and laughing.

"all mine." he admits. it was his. he doesn't feel any remorse for it.

you nod again. you're looking at him. the lights reflect in the water of your eyes.

"call me when you reach?" you ask.

he nods. "promise."

silence. inhale, exhale.

"i think I'm in love with you." you're the one that says it. if he could, he would hear the fast pace of your heart that beat dutifully with his own and he swears there's something in the cool winter air that been locked out of the car because there's no way he's hearing it right. there's no way he heard those words said with deliberate commitment and a hell of a lot of hope - something jean was learning to have from you - because no-one but you had the courage to regard him like this.

but it was you. of course it was you.

his hand holds your cheek before he can even think about it. he blinks. inhale, "I think I'm in love with you too," exhale. matching sentiments has always been easy, but it feels more breathable and bearable now. with you.

bearable, beating hearts.

you smile. you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, you smile so hard that your face feels like your face and not just a symbol of you, your face doesn't feel like a machine and it feels like muscle and skin and fat and blood like it's supposed to and you realize, a little too late, that jean makes you feel a little more human than you are in the way where it feels holy, almost, because being human has always been about being divine. jean makes you see it clearer than you have been seeing it.

another breath passes.

"is this the part where..." he swallows, trailing off. "where we kiss?"

you laugh. "you really think this is a hallmark movie, don't you?"

he laughs too. "no, if this was a hallmark movie then you'd be chasing me at the airport. you'd say-"

"oh my god," you're laughing and your stomach hurts comfortably.

"you'd say 'jean I've been in love with you since I laid my eyes on you'-"

"you wish," your voice is breathy.

"'i can't take my mind off of you, jean, and you deserve the best. also you're very handsome.' you'd say that."

you hold the hand that is resting on your cheek. "oh, jean, I've been in love with you ever since i saw you.-"

"ever since I laid my eyes on you. that sounds poetic."

"you're insufferable."

"and you're in love with me." he says. he's confident and he's never felt better about it than now.

you shake your head with an affectionate smile. "unfortunately yes."

there's a pause. the two of you are smiling. you lean forward to press a kiss on the top of his nose, turning it pink and human. "you'll get a kiss after getting back." you say. it's a promise.

"I'll look forward to it."

stupid, bearable, comfortable, beating organ.

his heart felt alive. his lungs felt like they were no longer chambers filled with air but something that could experience the space of being around you.

god, he was so lovesick. but he was with you, so it didn't matter.

he had you. he always would.

[allforthegaymes]

Post Evermore drabble

(Andrew x Neil x Jean)

When Neil had told Jean about Andrew, way back in Evermore. Stumbled through shaky words between whichever torture sessions Riko and the Master had scheduled. Jean had wondered how in Neil’s mind, Andrew could ever seem as looking larger than life itself.

His brief meeting with the man at the banquet was nothing remarkable. A short welch for Kevin to cower behind. Likely too drugged to even comprehend what he had been saying.

But the way Neil talked about him then. What information would have been nothings if it had been spoken to anyone besides Jean.

Whispered tid bits as they lay in the dorm at night, fit together onto one bed for the comfort of company. Neil would tuck his face between Jean’s shoulder and talk about how Andrew always sat on the desk when he smoked in the dorm. How even though he was scared of heights, he would always lean far through the busted window screen to exhale smoke. How he took Kevins need for the buddy system in stride, letting the Foxes believe it was Andrew who needed it more than Kevin.

Jean couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful. Even knowing he had no way out of Evermore, at least Neil would have someone waiting who had experience taking care of the post Raven abuse.

The hope drifted slightly when Renee reached out to him. Neil had mentioned the system, how the Foxes were split between being Andrew’s or Renee’s. Hope bruised that maybe he could’ve been one of Andrew’s too.

Hope near crushed when Renee is the one to sweep into Evermore and drag his beaten body out.

He’s not sure why he was so convinced that Andrew would find him intriguing. The man doesnt visit like Renee does. Only making an appearance when Neil and Kevin feel the need to bully their way through Abby’s house to see him.

He is the one who rebukes Kevin’s offer to ask Jeremy to take in Jean with the Trojans. He doesnt give an explanation, just a steady stare towards Jean and a nod to him before they leave again for the dorms that night.

When the Foxes win against the Ravens, and Riko gets his arm near ripped off by the heavy swing of Andrew’s racket. Jean is glad someone else was able to protect Neil from Riko.

When Jean hears about Rikos suicide, and finds himself in that bathtub, and then finds himself dragged through the halls of the Fox Tower to the waiting ambulance. He thinks about whether Neil will be okay with just Andrew to take care of him.

He’s surprised to wake up in the hospital bed and see Andrew sat beside it, more surprised even to see that Andrew’s alone.

The blonde doesn’t offer him any words, but tugs off his black armbands, grabbing Jean’s hands to place them onto the faded, but raised scars beneath. Jean grips onto him harder than necessary but Andrew doesnt sway. A steady force for Jean to lean into.

When Jean releases his wrists, Andrew lets them tangle into his shirt instead while he pulls the bands back on.

“Dont touch me, just touch the clothes.”

Jean hooks one finger around a belt loop and a fistful of the shirt in another, and keeps them right there to fall back to sleep.

Hes moved back to the Fox Tower within a week, Kevin moves to sleep on the couch in order to give Jean his bed, but Jean finds himself crawling into Neil’s every night anyways.

“Does it bother you?” He asks Andrew once.

Neil is fast asleep beside him already but Andrew is sat on the desk by the window, leaning as far out as he can.

He gives Jean the quirk of one eyebrow.

“Me sleeping next to him. I know you two…and you know my…reputation”

Andrew snubs his cigarette out on the windowsill before dropping it to the concrete below.

“I’m not in charge of Neil and I will not be in charge of you either”

“But that doesnt-“

“It doesnt need to make sense,” Andrew shrugs “I told Renee I’d take care of you, and that means letting you have what you need to feel better”

“Would you come over too then?”

Andrew doesnt hesitate, barely remembering to kick off his shoes before he climbs in next to them. He stays closest to the edge of the edge of the bed, “no skin, but clothes are okay.”

Jean turns to his side to tangle his fingers into the sides of Andrew’s shirt, and lets the arm that Andrew slings over his shoulder tug him closer till his nose can be tucked into Andrew’s chest.

A deep breath.

The smell of cigarette smoke, sweat, and cheap deodorant.

Neil mumbles in his sleep somewhere behind Jean, but he tunes it out as Andrews fingers slide into his hair, scratching softly against his scalp until Jean’s breathing evens out, slipping into sleep as well.

[sleepyboy-stuff]

hiii-!!! :3 saw your post about Logan requests and was thinkin' about (CG) Logan who gets up in the night (like in X2) and he sees reader regressed whilst watching TV or something and he looks after them for a bit, maybe convinces reader to go to sleep and helps settle them???

hope you're having an amazing day/evening/night!!! feel free to ignore this idea!!!

-🧸🌷(hope it's oki that I went anon, was a bit nervous 😅)

ollo!! thank you so much for your request, and its totally okay that you sent it on anon, i dont mind at all!! youre super sweet :]

anyways, uh, heres what i wrote! im super nervous to post this but, i hope you like it :D

It was late into the night-- probably around 2am, you guessed, but you didn't bother checking the clock. Most residents of Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters were fast asleep, and normally you were too. But tonight, you lay wide awake in your nest of blankets and pillows, hugging your favorite plushie and sucking on a pacifier as all sorts of thoughts ran through your mind.

Most prominent in your head was an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. This always happened when you were little; if you were alone for longer than 15 minutes, The Sadness started creeping in, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. Usually you could distract yourself, by coloring or playing games on your phone or something, but tonight you were practically drowning in it.

Your heart ached for someone, anyone, to come and comfort you, but you knew nobody would. Especially not the person you really wanted: Logan.

You considered going to his room and waking him up, but you knew you couldn't do that. He wasn't the most strict caregiver, but he did have one very harsh rule: you can't bother him when he's sleeping, and you can't sleep with him. You knew it was because of his nightmares, but still, you missed him.

Tears were welling up in your eyes. You didn't know how long you'd just been sitting there, but suddenly, you decided you'd had enough of it. You sat up and wiped the tears away with your sleeve, shuffling out of bed with your plushie in tow.

And that was how you ended up here in the common room, watching Spongebob Squarepants on the big TV (with your plushie sitting next to you), giggling to yourself.

You were drawn into the cartoon, happy to finally get away from your feelings. So distracted, you didn't even notice the figure that appeared behind you.

"You're up late."

You squeaked in surprise, your head whipping around to find none other than Logan leaning up against the doorway, one eyebrows raised.

You stared at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to say.

He walked over to the couch, sitting down next to you with a huff. "What're you doing up, kid?"

You hesitantly took your pacifier out of your mouth to speak. "Couldn' sleep."

He grunted. "Yeah, me neither."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah."

You wrapped your arms around his torso, resting your head on his shoulder. It was a bit of an awkward angle, coming at him from the side, but you made it work. "'m sorry."

"It's alright, kid. It's not like it's your fault," he said, resting his hand on your back.

You snuck your pacifier back into your mouth, but you didn't let Logan go, snuggling into him instead. He was always warm, and warm felt so cozy. He's even better than a blankie, you thought, as his hand started moving up and down along your back. It was a comforting touch.

You tried to pay attention to the show, but pretty soon your eyelids started drooping; finally, you were falling asleep. And Logan noticed.

"Hey, maybe it's time we head back to bed, huh?" He patted your back and pulled himself away from you, standing up.

You began to whine at the loss of warmth, looking up at him with sad eyes. He only stared down at you with lidded eyes, not falling for your puppy-dog look. 

You pulled your pacifier out. "Can I sleep with you..?" You knew his answer would be no, but you asked anyways.

Logan took a moment to think. "... Sure, you can."

Your eyes widened. "Really?!"

"Yeah. Just as long as you don't move around too much."

You felt a smile dawn on your face, and you popped your pacifier back in your mouth before you jumped up into his arms. He held you up easily, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"There we go," he murmured, walking out of the room. The TV was still on, but neither of you really cared.

Eventually, the two of you ended up in Logan's room. He gingerly set you down on his bed, and you pulled back the covers, crawling underneath them. He slid in beside you, pulling the blanket over your bodies before sliding his arms around you. You cuddled close together, and the room lapsed into silence, no noise except for the sounds of soft breathing.

In the end, you did fall asleep, secure in Logan's arms. But what you didn't know is that Logan never fully fell asleep himself. He laid awake the rest of the night, watching over you, keeping his little safe.

[think-like-a-poet]

heyy how're you? Can you write something in which Nico Williams is at the early stages of a relationship with a girl who deals with trust issues(got cheated on in the past) yet she still loves him from the bottom of her heart? thanks

Nico williams x reader

Taglist: @sossaa @chromecouldnever

A/N: first time for Nico, it isn"t my best work. I dont really know how to write for him, but i hope it is kinda alright.

You were seated on the couch in your and Nico apartment. You had moved in the apartment a couple days before the start of ths Euro cup and boxes were pilled all around you. Because of all the things that had to be done you decided to stay home and fixed it instead of traveling to Germany with Nico for the first games. It felt weird not having him around, the space being quiet with only you in it. You had done almost evrything together those last months. Nico was the first person who felt you were loved in a long time.

The small beam coming from the corner of the room was the only thing that gave a light to the room. You opened up Twitter to search for some news and gossip when your eyes landed on a post with Nico. He was seated on a bench with a girl next to him as he smiled. Your heart dropped as you saw them together.

Your ex boyfriend Derek broke your trust. 3 years together went trough the drain when he decided to get an other girl pregnant behind your back. It still hurt you to this day, Even though you moved on from him. The feeling when you found out was heartbreakin as he tried to blame it on you for not being there enough for him when he 'needed' you.

The two years following had tou break of every little change you had for a relationship. The second it became to perfe t to be true, you broke it of and moved away, to scared to be hurt again. You weren't able to let them have their own things, as your mind raced to the worst thing.

Your tough dissapeared by the sound of your phone ringing on your hand. The bright screen blinded your eyes as you saw Nico's caller Id. You swallow as you picked up the phone. Your were greeted by the excited face of your boyfriend on the other side as he greeted you.

Nico saw how your face wasn't as excited as other times and his smile dropped woth worry, " Are you okay? "

It was quiet for some time and Nico thought the wifi had gone out. Just as he wanted to ask again your voice came trough the speaker" Do you like me?"

He looked confused as you sat straighter up om the couch, trowing your hair behind your ear. " What do you mean?" He asked, his accent slippimg out, " of course i like you. You are the live of my life. Why are you doubting?"

You felt a tear form in yoir eyes, but didn't want Nico to see it. You turned to camera a bit away from your face," I just saw those pics and I dont know. I though the worse even though it are probably some fans."

He put his face closer to the camera and yoi let out a little laugh at how weird it looked."i am sorry that tou think about those things. I hope that you know that I would never dare to hurt you."

" I know that Nico and I love you. But sometimes those thoughts just appeare." You sniffel as you dry your year.

He gives you a air kiss, " I love you and there is nothing or no one who can change that."

[luffyvace]

hello lol I'm back

I'm the same anon who requested saiki w younger sister

may I request saiki younger sister meeting his gf ?

(idk if you do stuff the is like continue form another post if u Dont u may delete this request)

HIII again anon!! <3

yes you may!~ from the last hcs I’m assuming reader is the younger sister, btw!

Yes I in fact do! I don’t mind at all! 🩷

The two least annoying people meeting! How cute 🌺

here’s one from the same anon focusing on just Saiki and sister (reader) <3

Saiki definitely wouldn’t be the one to suggest you two meet

not because he doesn’t want you to, but just because he doesn’t feel the urge to introduce the two of you

so either his gf asked once she found out about you or you asked after you found out about her

or maybe you’ve known about each other for a while but never got a chance to properly meet each other!

actually I think it’s mostly likely that it went down as: Saiki’s gf came over to his house (after a lot of begging because he didn’t want her to meet his parents 😆). you two saw each other while your were in the kitchen, living room- etc. either you or she said “who’s that?” and Saiki said “my sister/gf” as he pulled gf away to his room :)

so you probably only have seen each other before

don’t get me wrong he loves the both of you dearly, but he’s just not the type of guy to bring up his loved ones in a conversation unless asked, and even then it has to be with good reason 😅

-now for the actual meeting!! 🤗

Saiki would literally sit you two down in his room and go “(you), this is (gf), (gf), this is (you)”

you’d have to carry the convo from there unless you want it to be that short….

That’d be beneficial if your super introverted like Saiki, but was just kinda curious as to who she was 🤷‍♀️

I don’t feel his gf would be a super extrovert… but I’ll put a little scenario for both personalities anyway :)

if she’s extroverted/regularly friendly,

she’d probably reintroduce herself with her full name, and ask some questions about you! She’ll find you cute and start to think of you as a sister in law almost..! It’s kinda too soon since her and Saiki aren’t married yet but since they’re definitely trying to keep this relationship a secret from you and your brother’s parents..you’ll be the first wedding invite!! <3

She starts to basically “adopt” you LOL!

takes you out to fun spas and has girl time with you!! It’s so cute! 🤗💗💗

if she has siblings she low key favors you over them…..😁

As for a more introverted/calm gf,

she’d probably just (maybe awkwardly) say hi and wave a bit

once again..! hope your extroverted or the conversation will die off there…you end up just returning to your room and wondering questions about her, instead of asking them out loud. 😅

eventually I do think you two’ll warm up. maybe you won’t go out as often since she’s introverted, even if your not. Buuut..! the both of you still have plenty of fun together!! 💗

she gifts you stuff whenever she comes over and will indulge in your likes/hobbies with you! <33

now let’s completely flip the switch—just for fun 🤩

if your jealous/dislike her (one sided),

eek..tbh I don’t think Kusuo would be willing to break up with her just because you dislike her. You’d have to give a really good and truthful reason for him to do that.

soooo you’d pretty much just scowl at her whenever she comes over.. :(

if your upset because you think she’s stealing Kusuo away from you- honey just ask to hang out with your big brother 🤦‍♀️

you’d likely get along if you’d just communicate that

if it’s for some other reason Kusuo will just ignore you (unless it’s valid, as stated), and his gf gives you a confused look before moving on…🗿

on the other hand……❗️

if she’s jealous/dislikes you (one sided),

she’s now the one giving you the cold shoulder, always sticking her nose up at you and telling Kusuo your being annoying 😒

ick..

anyway Kusuo would ask her what she doesn’t like about you and unless it’s valid he’ll just keep you separated

honestly I can’t see him sticking with someone stuck up anyway so karma 😂

But if she’s not snobby and acts normally, yk? Like pretending you like them until they leave to be polite type normal- 😃 then he really just tries to keep you apart

Say you actually did something to make her dislike you, he’ll use his powers to give a (harmless) revenge and teach you a lesson- (LOL)

either that or he snitches if it’s a situation that’s easier for his mom to handle (especially since I feel y’all mom would love his gf)

if you dislike each other,

now that’s a whole different story. He loves you both and really doesn’t know what to do about it. Would first try to talk it out with y’all cuz he’s not gonna betray one for the other, he gives unbiased opinions and if no one’s right he’ll help you comprise some sort of peace treaty.

Now, whoever breaks it is the one in the wrong. Ik big brains right? 😼

On another note,

if your chaotic like his friends he’ll try to keep you two from meeting for as long a possible. Which…considering his luck you meet fairly quickly regardless 😆🤜💥

his gf won’t notice how chaotic you are (like how most ppl w/ out powers are oblivious) and will love you anyway! ☺️ I mean..unless your a weirdo chaotic like nendo 😂

Imagine you start liking each other more than him he’s gonna be pretty darn tiggered-

he uses his powers to get your likeability meters for each other to go down juuust a bit! 😁

something to get you to dislike in the other but not enough to wanna stop being friends 🗿😃

helping him keep gf away from Kuusuke is a must after you learn of her‼️ (y’all parents too) he knows it’ll inevitably happen at LEAST once but if he could minimize it to JUST once that’ll be enough for him 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

you race her all over the city while trying to come up with an excuse as to why, while Kusuo plays a game with Kuusuke to distract him 😒

as painful as it is, it’s better than your eldest brother meeting his gf- he just knows it won’t go well 🙄

or not- 😀 if your chaotic along with said Kuusuke….then it’ll be a war- refer to my previous hcs to know what I’m talking about ☺️💗

In this case you would be keeping tabs on Kusuo to update Kuusuke as to where they are, so he can pop up and be like “heyyy brother heard you were in town- oh! Who’s this? 😏”

ORRR going with Kusuo and his gf so if he wants to teleport he can’t! Bc then if the gf goes “huh?….Did we just teleport?!” and Saiki says “hm? no…?” You can be like “huh!? Yeah we did!! I swear we were just in that store over there! (🤪)” and that way she’ll have confirmation as to what just happened 😊 then!!

Kuusuke will use the confusion to sneak up on Kusuo and introduce himself 😜

Btw this is in the case he’d want to keep his powers away from his gf as long as possible, since he already views it as a nuisance himself and doesn’t want her to ask to use them- 😂🤷‍♀️

I had way more to write abt this topic than I thought I would!! I must say, I rather enjoyed this myself! Hope you did too my love~

-Brook 🏴‍☠️

[hygge-aika]

Shitto 嫉妬

Pick me..choose me..love me.

note. reader has female pronouns.

sum. falling for an anonymous boy with sweet letters.

t/w. slight obsession. not proofread. bad story transitions.

w/c. I honestly don't know...

a/n. Hello hello! This is my first post..kinda. This is a semi collab with my best friend. Where we use a..bit of each other's ideas 👀. I'm using ayato because one. She stole my husband like omg 😒. (Check her out please, live laugh love @kzulemniii my pookie wookie bear) And second, because ayato is so amazing like 🥰. Anyways, just hope you could enjoy and have a great morning/afternoon/night!

Here she was, her sides pinned to the wall by the student council president. His pretty eyes locked on hers.

"Why...why him."

"Im here..so dont choose him..choose me, love me instead."

He says as his brows furrow from jealousy and envy.

Shitto.

...

She was a sucker for affection and sweet words, maybe because receiving such things was like getting presents as a kid on christmas mornings. It was rare. So of course when she recieved the note that contained such sugar words. It was over. She was already head over heels for this anonymous guy she didn't even know a single thing about.

It was pathetic, honestly.

How could you fall in love with someone you don't even know?

But she didn't mind that, she tried not to. This all felt like a sweet dream she didn't want to wake up to. So she'll keep reading those notes even if the words turn out to be empty and meaningless. Even if this was all just a joke in the end, atleast she could feel the slightest happiness from receiving such sweet words filled with affections.

...

As days pass she couldn't help but wonder...

Who wrote all these letters?

Who was behind all of it?

Maybe it was a classmate? a schoolmate? a batch mate?

Who knows.

At first, she wanted to let things as it is. She was willing to wait the admirer reveal who he was. But then, one day, she accidentally finds out who the secret admirer was.

...

You woke up earlier than usual and thought to just head to school early.

While walking down the halls to your locker, you spot a certain blonde sliding a letter inside your locker.

Thoma? The student council secretary?

Your eyes widen in shock.

It was him all this time? But how? They've never interacted much, so it was slightly confusing to why he'd find interest in her. But hey, who's judging?

Before he could spot her, she hid inside an open classroom. You wait for a few moments to pass and check to see if he was gone.

You look around just in case before heading to your locker again, opening it just to be sure.

The letter was there with its usual contents. Sugar- coated words and an end that says 'sincerely yours'.

Her heart was beating fast as her cheeks glow with a pink hue to them. What was she going to do with this information now..?

...

What to do?

Should she make a move or no?

But, why didn't he make a move first.

Oh wait, maybe he's shy..thats why.

Well...you can help with that ;)

So for the next few days you try to make conversations.

...

At first Thoma got confused and suspicious.

Frequent greetings and hello's when you see each other on the halls.

Flustered expressions.

Constant pink cheeks.

Fidgeting fingers.

Oh...oh.

Shoot.

Well looks like he'll have to report this to a certain someone while praying to the archons that he could survive after informing such information.

...

It's been a few weeks since you've started making a move on Thoma.

And you were sure that you were being painfully obvious about it...so why isn't he doing anything?

You decided to confront him.

Maybe he was just that dense.

...

You try to look for the blonde, and after minutes of looking, you found him near the cooking clubs' club room.

You head towards him and he notices you.

"O-oh hey-!"

"Thoma, I wanted to ask you something"

"Sure..what is it?" This time he was the one with fidgeting fingers.

"You're the one sending me those letters..right?"

His face went slightly pale.

"Letters?" He laughs nervously

"What are you talking abo-" before he could finish his sentence, he was cut off by a...certain someone.

"Thoma." He says with a stern voice.

The blonde turns around and spots the student council president. Ayato.

Ayato had his signature smile plastered on his face, but instead of looking friendly and approachable...it gave chills instead.

"A-ayato-"

"Nevermind that, we'll talk later. Thoma."

Ayato walks to your direction and gently grabs your arm, dragging you somewhere else. Leaving the blonde behind.

...

And now..here you are. Pinned to the wall by a jealous student council president.

"(Reader). Why.."

You both lock eyes.

"Why...why him"

Your eyes widen. What is happening, why is he like this?

"I'm here..so don't choose him..choose me, love me instead."

Your heart starts beating fast. Nobody has ever been like..this to you.

"I sent you those letters, I'm the one who wrote them. Every single word in that letter is from me."

He takes your hand and kisses it before placing it on his cheek.

Your face starts to heat up and your heart starts to beat faster than before.

"I'm the one who loves you that much..so will you accept my love..?"

Your eyes start to water and you nod.

He smiles and quickly wraps his arms around you before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"I love you" he whispers.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MACKERELMORE hii good morning i hope u r goodddd :] anyway. staring up at u w/ my big sopping wet shark eyes.... do u have any new haven wards costume opinions & thoughts. ik a while ago u said smth abt imprint showing an Inadvisable amount of skin considering his power bc he's cocky & it's an intimidation thing..... wraith with the whisperer cloak... what else!!!

AH hello!!! I have been. underwater all morning <3 I will be underwater again all afternoon but it's lunch time first :] I will say hi 2 the sharks for u . blow the grouper a kiss etc etc

UHHHHHHHH I DONT HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF THOUGHTS OTHER THAN WHAT WE'VE SAID BEFORE especially because. outfit design is not my strong suit idk how to talk about clothes lmao. but! the generals:

wraith: big loose fitting clothes that conceal a layer of body armor. they let him move and give him a bigger silhouette than he actually has and look deceptively weak? you go to kick a guy in a hoodie and your foot hits a kevlar vest instead. whisperer cape is a must. i dont think he knows the similarity. william was never big into capes i think if he ever saw anything of the whisperer it was only in passing and not enough to stick in his mind. full-face mask (which i would assume is like.... built into the hood somehow? to keep it up on his head better as hes moving), undecided on whether he would keep his hair fully covered or let some of it out from under the hood. i think at first his costume would be white with blue accents ("ghostly" vibes without being too scary) but as time goes on i think it would be cool if it got darker and darker until the white parts have gone from grey-dark grey-black (idk how that would work mechanically but. nudges greyscale implications)

failsafe: HONESTLYYYYY I REALLY LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE FOR HIM SO FAR. crop top is essential. failsafe has way more skin showing than imprint. i think hed keep his knuckles/forearms taped bc his fighting style is very physical? i know dakotas whole thing is kicks only but i think failsafe should get to punch things super hard too like cmon. hes got the likee.... headband mask . i like what u have for him a lot. i think his pants are a lot like wraiths thing where theyre loose and mobile but hes wearing armor under them.

imprint: tactical. his stuff is mostly black i dont think he would budge on that for anything. i do think he should have skin showing like. in case they get caught off guard by a fight i dont think hed want to take the time to have to pull off sleeves or gloves or whatever in case he needed to use his powers in a snap. i DO however think he has gloves just for convenience's sake. but i think he keeps specific body parts uncovered? majority of his arms for sure. he has the half-face mask. idk if this is something the prt would necessarily allow but i think he has a lot of straps and belts and things for holding weapons. i feel like hes trained in so many ways to fight he would probably always want at least a knife or gun on him at all times. the purple accents were the PR teams additions so he wouldnt be totally black. since he wanted to keep his shitty dyed purple hair, theyd at least make the costume match so it looked somewhat cohesive and intentional

OH YEAH u didnt ask abt tide but its very important to me that his costume is like a wetsuit. i havent made my post about tide and wetsuits yet but i think abt him a lot. also i think the ear fins are cosmetic and not a result of weird clone things but i do think he should keep them bc i think theyre cute. ive been imagining wavelengths costume pretty much the exact same as in pd . and i have. no ideas for auxiliary but whenever i think abt him i think abt ur timeline art so thats canon 2 me

[onejellyfishplease]

So, I noticed that Tinker-the-dragon showed you storyboards of their own animatic (which looks great btw, can't wait to see it), and since you said you enjoyed seeing the process, I figured I'd do the same! After all, having people acknowledge and get excited for my WIPs gives me a sense of accountability to finish it, which makes it much more likely to actually get done.

So, behold my chaotic, colorful rough sketches!

The process is slow-going, since I am simultaneously working on a couple other creative projects, some are tangentially related to this one (like how I'm finalizing my headcanon designs for all the turtles beyond just Donnie), and some aren't (like drawing long overdue art of my D&D party's characters).

I'm also making some guesses/taking some liberties when it comes to the timeline. Like, I'm assuming that this AU takes place post S2 finale, and thus will take place in the new lair, but I don't actually know. (If this has been addressed in asks before, I'm probably too new of a fan of SnapDonnie to have paid attention to those asks, and don't have the attention span to scroll through a ton of asks just to obtain a specific bit of information)

Similarly, I don't know exactly at what point Donnie starts attracting flies. It might not be as early as I'm depicting here. I can certainly move that part to a later section, but I don't know what I'd replace it with.

In general, if you have suggestions for things to be changed/switched around to better fit with the 'canon' of SnapDonnie, I'd love to hear it. It's better to make changes now while things are still very rough and flexible, than once I'm more committed and frames have taken quite a bit more effort to make.

Sorry for the super long 'ask,' this ended up being a bit of an info-dump lol.

WHA- YOURE MAKING ONE TOO????

thats so cool omg!! And im just gonna go a bit crazy over the frames if u dont mind me~ BUT THE ONE WITH THE SHADOW??? thats literally so creative im obsessed with it. I love cinematic shots like that, they just make my brain buzz <3

and the one where hes doing thumbs up to Raph absolutely cracked me up!

Also to answer your questions- SnapDonnie takes please after the movie, So Raph has a blind eye and hole in his shell/plastron, Mikey has his scars (though u cant drawing them in bandages to aviod drawing them if i want -i always forget to draw them lol) and Leo has a leg brace.

And as for the flies, Donnie starts to attract them basically immediately once the physical changes start, though he basically douses himself with insect repellent at first (while he still wants to repel them) So frames 24 and 25 would go after he really starts to change instead of before.

Hope that helps!! It looks amazing so far! <3

[conanssummerchild]

stranger things characters as taylor swift albums

i saw someone make a post abt this and i decided to make my own lol. ngl it was really hard to decide and im not even sure i agree with myself, if u think smth else feel free to tell me!

Dustin Henderson as Debut

To me Debut is about youth and first loves and messing up and the lessons you learn, its about feeling like an outsider but also about being with the people you love, those who you dont feel whole without. I think that that matches well with Dustin's character, he's energetic and excited to learn and experience things, he cares for his friends deeply but can feel left out sometimes.

El Hopper as Fearless

I think Fearless is about new beginnings and second chances, about being young and in love, wishing for your fairytale ending and being dissapointed when real life isn't like a movie. It's about highschool and being brave, it's about family, found and otherwise. It's about being fifteen. El is such a pure character, she's brave and willing to stand up when she has to, but wanting to be more than that, trying to be a teenager, making the best of something bad.

Will Byers as Speak Now

Speak Now is an album about growing up but never wanting to, it's about trying to hold onto your childhood, about whimsical fantasies, about foolishness and the broken hearts that come with it, about loving and fighting and making up and hoping those special moments in your life are long lived. Speak Now is about innocence and the loss of it. Will isn't ready to move on and grow up the way his friends seem to be, he wishes that things could be how they used to because it was so much better back then, he loves bravely and says what's on his mind, but keeps some things quietly locked away, afraid.

Robin Buckley as Red

Red is kind of a lonely album, that of a people person who never has her own people in the end. It's a coming of age album about the realities of growing up and being forgotten, it's full of heartbreak and fear of rejection, it's a catchy melody with sad lyrics, but it is filled to the brim with burning red love and passion too. From the moment Robin was introduced she was clever and snarky, passionate and confident and lovable. Behind that she was a deep character, a brave one, she is undeniably, iconically her.

I KNOW this song isnt originally from red but i like it :(

Steve Harrington as 1989

If you asked me I'd say that 1989 is about partying and being young and having fun and being in love. It's about petty grudges and and love that feels all-encompassing, but is really just suffocating, it's about what people say about you and who you really are. It's about moving on and being clean and starting anew despite the strangers talking about what's not theirs to talk about. Steve is a character that has constantly bettered himself, constantly having to prove that he isn't the same person he was. He's fallen in love and had to fall out of it time and time again.

Nancy Wheeler as reputation

reputation is about revenge and also karma, it's about killing the old you but not forgetting her, it's about new loves and not letting yourself get pushed around, it's about how delicate life and love can be. It pushes the boundries of cold and seeming like you dont care. But you do. Nancy is an interesting character to say the least, she's brave and strong and she struggles with showing her emotions and care, sometimes hurting people because of it, but she tries.

Lucas Sinclair as Lover

Lover is warm and comforting like the sun coming out after a dark day. It's about doing your best to overcome hardships, it's about who you are because of them, not despite them. It's about letting go, letting yourself forget instead of holding on tight to the hurt, turning a fresh page instead of trying to change an already used up one. It's about love. Lucas is so kind and caring, he wants the best for everyone he loves and he loves so purely, he's a character who has been hurt repeatedly but has stayed strong. He's a lover, both romantically and platonically.

Mike Wheeler as folklore

folklore is a cold winter that seems to go on forever with no relief. It's sitting in a vast field of snow without a jacket by your own choice, it's about constantly trying and failing and everyone around you chastising you for not being better. It's about pulling up to the lookout and screaming into the emptiness to give you a reason for your pain. It's about failing in love and messing up with the one. Other people's pain seems to seep into you and you keep the burden of it. folklore is suffocating despair and the love you can only wish for but never have. Mike is the only one who I knew what album I was going to asign him from the start, he's a sad, lonely character who tries to help everyone but himself. His pain is invisible to those around him because he keeps it close and hidden, he lashes out and digs himself further into a hole he cannot get out of on his own.

Max Mayfield as evermore

evermore is the coldest autumn, the trees obscure your view but you've long since stopped trying to reach for the fading sun. The rain falls but you can only sometimes feel it, you try to pretend it's fine this way, yet you keep venturing deeper into the thick forest. The truth is you are stuck, and as much as you pretend you're not it won't stop the mud from sticking to your soles and trying to pull you in as you reject the branches reaching for you. evermore is what happens when love can't overcome all. Max is sarcastic and fun, but there's always that overlying fear and anger that she eventually falls into, she's hurt and she can't move on from the things that have happened to her.

Jonathan Byers as Midnights

Midnights is an album of staying awake at night, all alone in the haze you thought fit two. The things you've seen and done haunt you, they make you lose sleep, all you've lost and gained, all you never had to begin with and never will. It's simple really, you're on your own. Jonathan is a loner, he's lost so much and matured too much for his age. He never had relief from his responsibilities, always needing to be present. It's a tiring life to live.

[leidensygdom]

Ur strength is definitely color and line work. Something I would say needs some work is definitely your full body drawings and poses. Your poses are always static and rigid and (especially when in motion) it takes me a moment to figure out what the character is supposed to be doing. Your anatomy is fine, its the stiffness of the over all pose thats the issue. It makes your pieces lack energy and any real umph. Your beautiful use of color and line usually covers for this but for me (someone who also struggles with this) it pops out like a sore thumb.

To practice, id suggest doing gesture drawings (1 minute sketches of action poses) to really understand how the body moves fluidly and to practice capturing that energy. Id also suggest doing 5-10 minute studies of full body figures in which you specifically observe how the pose affects the distribution of weight. How the torso curves in relation to the pose (your torsos are often very vertical and stiff) and how their muscles, fat, and clothing stretch, bulge, or fold depending on the pose.

Try to keep things loose during these studies and focus on capturing the energy of the pose over perfect anatomy. Focusing on anatomy can often be a distraction and can actually detract from capturing the fluid movement of a pose when you are first learning. You dont want to be thinking about anatomy during a 1 or 5 or 10 minute study if that is not what you are trying to learn.

While doing gesture drawings, its important that you move fast and dont get hung up on details. Get the line of action in there and the general shapes of the figure. Focus more on the movement of the figure over anatomy or details. Feel the rhythm in the pose and do your best to capture it. Id suggest doing 10 or 20 of these at a time. Sites like Line of Action are great for studies like this.

For 5-10 minute studies you want to build on the rhythm you developed during the 1 minute studies. Again, you want to focus on the movement of the pose over the details. Keep shapes simplified and force yourself to think in the abstract. A vibe i get from looking at ur art is that you get focused on the small details while losing sight of the big picture (might be wrong bout this but its something i also struggle with lolol) so during studies its important to keep ur mind on the bigger picture. Focusing in on small details adds to the stiffness of a piece as instead of one singular piece, it’s made of many smaller pieces. Idk if that makes sense lololol. Id do 1 hour of these 5-10 minute studies.

But yea id say this is really the main thing holding you back right now. Once you figure out how to capture the rhythm and energy in a pose id say ur golden lololol good luck! I hope this helps XD

oh gods yeah I need to whip some referencing for poses and specially dynamism, I tend to make things a bit too stiff. I think I cornered myself into making very static poses since I do a lot of character ref oriented work, and showing the design and outfits is a priority over the dynamism, and like, I need to get working on that.

It sucks to realize how I've let social media performance guide a bit on what I draw and I practice. People like their fullbody character designs with a grey background, and I've let a lot of What Isn't That fall apart, and it's bad! I gotta get better!

I need to find a way to maybe get a way to do these practices and still post it, bc even when I've done them, they stay in a folder and never get to see the light of the day. (Also, I saw the other ask and I'm gonna check that one soon! I struggle so much finding good refs for that!)

[firefly--bright]

peeks and blinders (you know me)

jean kirstein x gender neutral! reader, modern au

summary : being loved required patience and time and hope. luckily, jean provided all of them, without hesitation.

warnings : feelings of being deeply alone, heavy, hurt/comfort but mostly hurt, reader might sort of have depression

a/n : aha. lol. lmao. uhmmm yeah this is incredibly self indulgent and a projection. if you relate to this please PLEASE know that you're a) not alone and also b) I'm here if you ever need anyone to talk to. i wrote this with an unhappy ending in mind but with the poll results (and let's be honest, the aot finale) I decided to make it a happy ending instead. don't worry, everything works out in the end. this fic might just be terrible if you're already sad, so reader discretion is advised! i dont expect anyone to read the whole thing!!! but if you do read it, I hope you like it because I spent way too long on it. the ending might've been a little rushed only because I wanted to get this out as soon as possible so I could move on with a new fic idea ;)

taglist : @mrsnobodynobody @holding-infinity-and-a-book @jeanscremebrulee (side note- thank you for the kind words in my taglist form's criticism/comments question. i truly, deeply appreciate it :) )

masterlist is in pinned post! ✿ requests are open! ✿ likes and reblogs are appreciated! ✿ join my taglist ✿

✿ recommended playlist to listen to while reading ✿

living with someone meant showing yourself, something you weren't afraid of. well, not afraid, more just apprehensive. there was too much of a potential to fucking up a relationship; showing yourself too much in the one place you're allowed to be yourself without restrictions and limitations. you love your friends, you love jean, but sometimes the quietness of being alone was more than welcome because it had to be.

so when jean asked you with eyes that didn't meet your own if you wanted to move in with him, you didn't answer. quiet literally, you paused from eating the slice of pizza in your hand. he continued on with his nervous 'making-up-for-the-lack-of-response' ramble, explaining how you technically already lived together, how he liked finding your toothbrush next to his, and reluctantly admitted that he sometimes used your soap when he wanted to have a good day. a speech that warmed you despite your answer.

because no matter how comfortable you'd be with anyone, sharing the same space with them was a different kind quiet, unrelenting vulnerability. the fact that you existed and let someone percieve you without hinderance was...too much to think about. you had been alone your whole life, not in a pitiable way, but in a way where you didn't have a childhood best friend. you didn't have people stick around, like you were only at a corssroad of people's lives and greeted them with familiarity and comfort that they'd craved, despite your want and desire for it yourself. they'd continue on with their path while you would sit there, patiently, passing time.

jean admitted it to you. indirectly, he had confessed that he wanted to see you vulnerable and bare open in a way that people wouldn't know you normally. in a way where you were simply a locked window that noone had the key to. but there wasn't anything special to hide, no great overview of the city or the sea or rolling hills and valleys and large fields. no, just an unimpressive view of an unmowed backyard. untamed and messy - again, nothing special. just years of neglect while also being looked at. nothing special.

you didn't want him to see it. and technically, he asked you. you stopped spiralling just as he started his own, realising the effect your non verbal answer had on him, you simply said "I'll think about it." and tried to crack jokes along until the end of the night. because if nothing, then jean deserved some peace to balance out the turbulence that came with loving you.

in all honesty, you didn't know what you did. how you comitted the monsterous feat of getting him to love you. how he loved you in your entirety (or lack of it), how he woke up everyday and chose to love you despite everything that you took from him, drawing out his grumbling patience and gentleness because loving you meant waiting. loving you always, somehow, meant not loving you, because there was no way someone would know you, all your stories and opinions and ideas and still choose to love you.

living with you meant knowing your anatomy. not of your physical, breathing body, but the inside of your organs. it meant knowing that your stomach was filled with guilt, that your mouth could only utter whispers of people who once loved you and 'im sorries' to someone who won't know. it meant knowing that your hands were always aching to be held, that your skin was only ever warm when it was loved. it meant knowing that your chest was always heaving, yearning for a breath of relief that would never arrive. it meant knowing that your eyes always wandered off to the weighing scale kept at the back of your closet, always wandered off to find another pair of eyes that would look similar to yours. it meant knowing that your hair was always knotted with the doubts your mouth would never ask. it meant knowing so much about you, about the grey matter in your brain and about what flowed through your veins was nothing but pure doubt and discomfort with the unholy temple that was your body, the temple without a god, the temple that noone went back to. a body without a home.

he wouldn't want to know. he shouldn't want to know, and more importantly, he wouldn't like finding out. it would either be too much or too little, and his fingers would cramp up with the effort it took for him to pry you open, only for no prize to be met with. besides, you were okay just talking to yourself, no matter how insane it sounded. you got through so many years being self-sufficient, right? you didn't know how to handle it, handle someone actually loving you without doubt. you had lived long enough without it. someone loving you was new, something you didn't have a map for, something you didn't have any precautions against.

you and jean slept together that night. in the same bed, breathing the same air, under the same covers. you didn't share the same sleep, however, as his mind made dreams and yours went on like an unfinished painting - a list of unfullfilled answers, no meanings, trying and failing to come together. you found yourself watching him breathe; just his chest moving up and down and up and down, your hands twiching to rest on top of his but you didn't know if that's where they'd belong. if his body would wake itself up because of your touch - everyone was always surprised by how cold your fingers were. you were used to it.

maybe living with him wouldn't be that bad, right? as he said, you already shared the same space to a point where the pair of you felt comfortable enough to not care if your hair was groomed perfectly or if the colours and patterns of your outfit were clashing. but would he like it? would he like just how much more comfortable you could get? just how much you could ask for? just how long you could lock yourself up in the bathroom and try to cry? would he like to know just how long you sometimes spent on your bed, refusing to get up because your heart felt too heavy for your chest? for when your heart felt like it could fall through your back, punch a hole through the ground and bury itself in the earth until it could somehow bonify and fossilize and archeologists would recognise, instantly, that it didn't belong there.

he'd leave. that was something you knew for a fact. your love wouldn't be wasted, ofcourse not, neither would the time, but maybe he'd leave feeling like he'd wasted himself at your expense. or maybe he wouldn't think about you at all.

your night was spent with your brain spiralling - thoughts about how you didn't know how to handle being loved the way he loved you, about how you probably never had a childhood best friend that was still in your life because the phases of your life weren't meant for anyone but yourself to see, about how much your hair fell due to the stress of distracting yourself from overwhelming sadness by studying and creating while also being only slightly average at it. you fell asleep thinking about how the abundance of being alone, to you, meant being not alone at all, because there was no differenciation of company and lonlieness because there hadnt been any company to remind you of the lonliness at all- your eyes had fluttered closed and breathing evened.

jean always wondered if you were hiding something from him. not in a bad way, not in the way where he couldn't say he loves you, but in the way where you'd hesitate. and if he didn't love you as much, he probably wouldn't have even noticed. but fortunately, he did know you. a little too well.

he knew how much you loved the crunchy autumn leaves, so much so that you would alter your paths just to crunch one under your boot, a smile of satisfaction gracing your face after hearing the noise it made. he knew how much your fingers would reach out for his. he knew how much you tried - with everything. he knew of your unsaid struggles, knew when and what made your mood sour. and he loved it, he loved the fact that he knew all of those thing but more importantly, loved that he loved them.

loving you felt like it was a built-in feature.

but despite all of this, he didn't know why. he didn't know why you were the way you were. he knew you tried, but he didn't know why. he knew you struggled, but didn't know why. and it was driving him crazy, especially after last night. he couldn't help himself, even if he could see you, again, trying to diffuse the situation with lighthearted jokes, he couldn't help but think a little too much.

did you not want to? jean had always been honest about how much he struggled with being either too much or too little, about how much the words hurled by his friends when he was young hurt him, about how much his love proved to be uncomfortable and silent and resigned. maybe his honesty was too much for you. maybe you didn't like the burdens he came with, maybe you didn't like knowing how much his father's absence had affected him, or about how much his previous partner altered the way he saw himself to a miserable extent. you hadn't asked for all of this, all of him, all of his parts. maybe you were getting sick of it.

or maybe, if Jean's knowledge about you served right, you were being hesitant again.

he swears he doesn't mind it. you not wanting to move in with him wasn't a problem, but he just wished he knew why. the whole day, the only thing on his mind was how he could feel less hesitant towards him, god, anyone but him. he knew, firsthand, how it felt being so overwhelmed by inconsequencial doubt where he was left with so many regrettable unanswered questions engraved into the palm of his hands because he kept them hidden in his fist for too long, where he wishes, prays, and hopes for an answer that he knows will never arrive even if he doesn't look for it.

there are many things jean wishes and prays and hopes for. you're not one of them. but only because you're here. he doesn't need any other wish to be fulfilled or prayer to be answered or hope to sparkle. you are, inadvertently, all of them. a love without doubt, a wish without a cost, a prayer without a sacrifice, a hope without desperation. you're all of them. you're everything.

but he knows that if he's hesitant this time, if he doesn't reach out to grab you, if he doesn't do something, no matter how desperate, he will most ceratinly feel a deeper regret than he has ever felt before. and yes he may be exxagerating it, but he doesn't care. he'd learnt not to care when he was with you - he's learnt to be comfortable with you and around you. he wants to tell you that it's okay if you don't want to move in with him because his home is wherever you would be, his home is his hand on your thigh, his home is watching you blink in thought, his home is the sound of your footsteps. his home is anywhere with you. you are the only person who has the right to know that.

he makes his familiar way over to your apartment. you're not home yet, sasha informs him with a sleepy voice and messed up hair, "but you can wait in their room." she says because everyone knows that you wouldn't mind him waiting in your room. including him.

he does your routine - the one he's seen you do countless of times when you enter your room - take off his coat and hang it on the back of your door where one of the hooks is kept empty for him, shoulder his bag off and put it down on the spot next to your desk, turn on the desk lamp and the night lamp because you refused to turn the overhead lights on, because "they are so hideous why would I want to turn them on," according to you, and then finally occupy the space on your bed, laying his back down and his hands resting on his stomach as he waited for you.

staring at the cracking paint on the ceiling of your bedroom, jean thinks. from his pending homework that he's mentally figuring out how to schedule to how he's going to conduct this new group project with people he has never talked to before to how is it already the second last year of University because it felt like the first day was yesterday, until finally his thoughts landed on you. of course it would always lead to you.

it started from him thinking about University, then about how he met you on the second day, seeing you in one of his classes, sitting diagonaly across him, how you conducted yourself, slipping your bag off and checking your phone. then it turned to him seeing you at the freshers party where he saw his now ex-partner with someone he knew he shouldve questioned more. how he stormed off of the party with half tears of sadness and half of anger, catching a glimpse of you in the corner of the room, looking kind of lost. he saw you multiple times after that but never talked to you. he saw you at an ice-cream parlor once. he wanted to talk to you, but Connie had loudly confirmed the tickets to this new concert, which took away Jean's attention from you. but then he was introduced to you by Marco, because of course it would be Marco who had the pleasure to befriend amazing people. he met you then, properly, when you introduced yourself, and he nodded at you with little regard.

jean shook his head with a little smile. he had been so stupid, that day. he barely looked in your direction as you got acquainted with Marco, Connie and sasha, but he didn't disregard the fact that you looked less lost than you were at the party.

you had a way of sticking around, jean found out after that. he didn't realise when you had slipped into his life, hiding in plain sight. one night he found himself awake the same time as you and the next, he found himself saving a seat for you in the class you shared with him. soon enough, you knew him as well as he knew you, and there was softness in the recognition your eyes held when they met with his. the same appreciation of his existence, something he hadn't felt before. he couldn't say that he knew you as well as the back of his hand, because really, he knew you like the back of your hand, because he'd looked at your hands more than he'd ever looked at his, noticing all the little creases and scars and veins and hairs. he knew what warmth they held, he'd felt it after your hands made their way into his while walking back to your dorm on a cold night. a night jean would never forget because he had frantically knocked on your door right after leaving you there, because his senses had finally worked and he had finally found out that he wanted to kiss you. and he did, and you kissed back, and jean swore he had never been happier even while he could hear sasha and Connie and Marco cheering for the both of you. he kissed your forehead as a goodnight that night. you were in his shirt.

you were his home before he even knew what his home was, before he could find out for himself. you became an answer with a question.

he sighed, hearing your footsteps make their way through the tiny apartment, saying a small "hi," to sasha who was sleeping on the couch. the door to your room swung open just as jean sat up, his weight resting on his forearms on your mattress. you didn't seem surprised that he was there, just flashing a smile at him before removing your bag and placing it down, and jean felt his heart flutter with comfort as your presence filled the room.

his eyes trailed you as you did the same thing he did a few moments ago, plopping yourself down right next to him. your breathing evened out with his as the two of you lay in silent comfort before jean spoke.

his voice was a low hum. the words were barely different, but you understood them anyway. "yknow you can talk to me about anything, right? even if it's sad or not funny or not...I don't know, not remarkable. you can say it. i won't laugh unless you want me to." he says. it's a flimsy promise, but you know his words hold a meaning that you can't quiet grasp.

his palm lays on top of the back of your hand.

he's warm. scarily so, because why would someone hold so much warmth towards you? more importantly, jean extended his hand without even meaning to, like muscle memory, which was, again, terrifying, because loving you as habitual purpose was scarier than you having to prove yourself for it.

your shoulders relax almost instantly; habitually and with purpose. was the purpose of it to not have a purpose at all? was the meaning of your being to not have any meaning at all? was it just to love despite it?

you wanted to do good. not in a special or overly remarkable way, because you knew you would never reach that mark because you never had, but in the way where you'd be recognized. in crowded rooms, you'd be sought out for because of your "goodness" - be it reliability, comfort, all the things you usually associated with jean. which was ironic, because noone who didn't know him like you did would ever think of jean in that way.

"i.." you say, trailing off. you want to say that you know, but it'd be a lie. it'd be a false promise, and jean didn't need that any more than he needed you. so you say, "I'll keep that in mind."

jean doesn't buy it. his hand squeezes yours, stubbornly. "no, i don't want you to keep that in mind, I want you to want to do it." he says. his head turns towards you, watching the side of your face with an expression you know better than anything. the slight furrow of his brows, slightest scowl on his face that was masked by a layer of genuine concern.

"what I mean is.... you don't have to be so hesitant with me." he says. you want to blink back surprise, except that it's not really surprising. he's seen you, more so than anyone ever has, so it's not surprising that he'd see if one day was affecting you worse than the other days. it makes you want to scream because you don't know how to deal with it.

you close your eyes as if that would help. it wasn't like you were good at running away from affection, mostly because you never needed to. if anything, you were used to running towards it, desperately, just trying. but here it was, now, the resolution of it all, of all of the aches and creakings of your deepest yearnings, yet you couldn't seem to look at it. look at him - at jean, your best friend, someone you'd do anything for - with eyes that matched his.

you sigh. there's a deep silence, and jean isn't anticipating anything. his hand is still on yours and he feels you squeeze it tightly, but he isn't going anywhere for you to hold on to him. even if he wasn't tethered to you, he'd want to stay by your side, without any precautions or promise of a fruitful result. he'd stay with you regardless.

he isn't waiting for you to say anything, because being with you feels more than adequate, like it's instinct, like his shoulders relaxing when it's just the two of you, or like that tingly feeling in his chest when you kiss his cheek after a long day.

but when you do speak, it's with resignation and certain grief. "i dont think you'll like me. if I... if we move in together, I think, realistically, you won't like it."

"how can you be so sure?" he asks. it's not a serious question, but he thinks it's a start. you're doing it, you're being less hesitant, and atleast that's somewhere to begin.

"i just am." you say, shrugging. but it's not a fact, atleast, it shouldn't be. it isn't to jean. he's rolling his eyes now, but he's not annoyed or digusted. "how?" he presses, because he knows there's more, there always had been with you.

"i get too much. and then too little. like none of it is ever just right. and I'm scared that you'll see it and...I don't know, get frustrated at my lack of everything." you say. there's truth in every word even though you desperately wish there wasn't. you're still hesitating, but it's less so. your hand is still in his, still squeezing it. it was predictable - something you found yourself relying on - the warmth of his palm and the way his hand would also engulf yours with the same echoing softness it always had. even if his fingers were calloused and a little rough, it didn't matter. they still held you the same.

he's clinging onto every word you're saying, every small explanation, every twitch of your eyebrows. he knows what's going to come, he knows there's going to be an admission of guilt coming on soon enough but he also knows, more importantly, that he'll be there to tell you that no, he does not regret loving you, and yes, he will keep doing it over and over and over again.

"I've never been... wanted like this. or like anything, I guess. and I'm so scared," you breathe in deeply, keeping your tears at bay. jean pushed himself onto his forearm, looking at you in a way you've never been looked at before. "I'm so scared of disappointing you because I think that's all I've ever done. that's all I know how to do." the box is open now, and it's not forced or pried with effort. jean has always known how to open it, you think, you just didn't let him. he does it now, with the same hands you find comfort in, the same gentleness that his eyes have always held for you.

you're crying. you don't have anything else to add to your statements, and they hang in the air as if waiting for you to complete them, expecting you to do something. but you don't and you can't and jean is holding you, his hands are at your sides and your nose is buried into his shoulder and you think the words and the expectations can wait for now, or for however long jean is willing to take care of you.

your shoulders shake. jean is whispering into your ear, asking you to breathe. he's saying it so kindly that you feel the need to comply, and when your lungs finally calm, he rewards you with a kiss on your forehead.

you think if how much of a liability all of this is. about how much you weigh in emotions when you're this open and vulnerable. not even like an open, unhealing wound, but more like that feeling you get when you finally decide to read an unread text message that had been sitting there for a month, but you're the person who both sent the text and also the one replying to it and also the one who was watching it unfold. you caused this, you were the only one who was replying, and you were also the witness to all of this.

but now jean was here. it was unusal and strange - someone being there, actually, physically and mentally present instead of those placating "you'll get over its" that were repeated to you by the few people you decided to open up to.

the two of you are silent now, only broken up by deep, almost heaving breaths from you, something you wish you would stop doing. instead of you digging your nails into your palms like all the other times, your nails are clinging onto jeans clothes, and he doesn't seem to mind. instead of it being your blankets like all the other times, it was Jean's soft heat wrapped around you, moving with each breath you took until your chest didn't feel as heavy anymore.

"i know." he says, finally. he doesn't expect you to answer, ofcourse, but he knows you're listening because you shift slightly in his arms. "i know...too well, what it's like. i know that moving in means more to you than it means to people in general. i know that it's not even about moving in together. i.." he's being hesitant. finding the right words, but for once, Jean's happy about this trait of his. he's glad he rethinks decisions and the next time when he tries again, he's more sure of it. hes sure that he loves you, hes sure that he wasn't made to love you but he grew into it because there's that choosing again, the fact that yes, he did probably have a choice, but he would never even consider it. he doesn't want to consider it and maybe that's more important than there even being a choice. he wishes he could put it into words that would make sense.

instead, he opts to say, "I am so sorry you had to think all of this all alone for so long. but I'm...I'm here now. i know that won't solve everything instantly, ofcourse it won't, but I will be here until it will. i will wait."

there's promise in his voice, a conviction that you hadn't heard before. you trust him, you always have, but you don't know if you trust yourself with this. you don't trust yourself to be someone he loves. he's quick to quiet your concerns after yet another peck on your forehead.

"but don't you think I take too much?" you ask. its doubtful, the steps you're taking on the usually thick ice that has turned too thin too fast. you're afraid you're going to offend him, but you stand no chance against Jean's all-knowing sigh. it's not a tired sound, not one anyone gives before they're about to give up. you're not sure what kind of sigh it is, but jean doesn't let you figure it out for yourself because he's answering.

the ice turns into concrete. he's become your footing, the reason you're still standing and not under numerous feet of cold water. "i dont think you're taking. your....your love doesn't ask to take. you love despite everything, not because of it. everyone, including me, focuses on how to be loved, on how to be a perfect image that probably won't last for too long, but you..... you focus on shaping your love, the love you give. i dont know if you've noticed it, but you do. you don't take too much, you give without expectations. you give with hope. it's beautiful." he pauses. "you're beautiful." he says. he's not looking anywhere else but your eyes that are welling up with familiar tears.

you suck in a breath. "im not used to sweet words, jean," you say, the breath you held releasing with a bittersweet smile. "i dont know how to handle all of this love you're giving me. i think... i think you love me too much." another tear down your cheek and onto the mattress. jean wipes away it's remnants.

"i dont love you nearly enough." he says with the same laugh you had given him, "but you'll grow into it. just like how you grew into everything else, you'll grow into being loved. i grew into it too," he says. his forehead touches yours. the proximity makes you shiver. "i grew into just how much you love me. and I wanna keep growing into it because I love loving you. i love you loving me, as selfish as it sounds."

you take a moment to register his words. yes, you weren't used to being so vehemently and stubbornly loved and taken care of, but you could. you could get used to it, get used to crying in your beloved's arms, being fed spoonfuls of carefully heated up soup that would settle into your belly, being looked at for more than a split second. you couldn't fathom it now, sure, only because you could've never believed it before, but that could change. you could grow into loving love, into accepting it just as freely as you had given it.

jean wasn't holding you with a death grip because he knew that you wouldn't leave, atleast, he didn'tanymore. he would've done it, he had all the reasons to. if he were still fifeteen, he would've thought that he had to come beg and cling on to love to make it stay. he had to do something spectacular, something entirely not himself in order to prove that he was atleast worth giving a try but with you...he didn't have to beg. he didn't even have to ask. for a while it felt undeserved, all of this care you were giving his somehow beating heart, all of this ointment you were providing to his broken bones, but he somehow, miraculously, grew into it, because he let you in. he let you see him with the eyes that would rival the ones he was sure the gods had, he let you see him and all his unknown and unsaid sins and let you love him anyway because you wanted to, because you didn't see something in him - a potential of something greater - but you saw him as he was. as he is. and nothing in your smile changed. and if you could do that, then he'd be damned if he didn't love you the same.

no words were said after that, only Jean's heartbeat mingling with your own in your ear. both of your eyes were closed, his hands relaxed on your back, your chest no longer heaving, commanding you to pay attention to it.

you fell asleep in the silence of promise.

---

the promise continued even a week later, turning into two, turning into four, wherein jean kept loving you despite and because of, unafraid and unwavering and for the first time, without any hesitance.

you were keeping up on your promise too. trying to accept it - all of this affection, his affection - without hesitance. it was hard but mundane things usually are and you continued to grow and mend and try, above all else, which was more than jean hoped for.

he's passing you the brush he had slathered the perfect amount of toothpaste on, slipping into the comfort of the cool night warmed by the heat of your previously taken shower in your bathroom. you smile at him as a thanks, and he nods as a welcome, and no words are spoken. no words need to be spoken, and his right hand makes its way to the small of your back, his left brushing his teeth as you start brushing yours and you think that maybe everything is uncertain. everything always has been and always will be, and loving someone has always been uncertain, too. being loved has always come with doubt and guilt and shame. but the only difference was that now, both of you hoped. you hoped that everything would be alright in the end, jean hoped that he'd get to share the same bed as you in the end.

hope was flimsy and hopeless, too optimistic, but now it served as something you both shared. the shared sentiment of hoping that you'd have eachother till the end was more important than the uncertainty. it meant that both of you would keep trying. you don't need to be sitting, waiting patiently and hopelessly at the same crossroad now, because Jean's hand is on the small of your back, the watch on his wrist is still and unticking, and you're walking down the same road with the same landmarks and the same gravel because you want to. you've moved from your old spot on the pavement because you want to. you're learning how to love the sound of your own footsteps, how to love the action of one foot infront of the other, and the best part is, Jean's learning too.

loving isn't a reciprocal or a transaction or a grand 'aha!' it's an act of hope. hoping they'll see you the same. hoping they'll have the same hopes as you. hoping they'll want to be loved by you, because hope doesn't require anything grand, hoping doesn't require a god to pray to or a cost to pay. it requires soft, undettered, unsaid patience. something jean, persistently, had. something you, stubbornly, held.

you paused from brushing your teeth to look at your love. you were wearing his old t-shirt that had faint stains of ink and old paint on it, and he was donning the headband you had owned for years to keep his hair out of his face. he glances at you through the mirror, then turns to you, nodding to you, eyebrows arching in a question.

you spit out the toothpaste into the sink. looking back to him, you say, with all the conviction and hope you can muster up, "I want to move in with you."

jeans mouth turns upwards, still full of toothpaste. he doesn't say anything. he doesn't need to say anything.

everything's already been said, already been understood.

because he knows you. and he couldn't be more happier to.

(when you pick the curtains for your new home, you are held up by jean, who's hands grasp the ladder you're on. you're looking down on him after the work is done and he's smiling, and you're smiling, and at night you're using the same stove to make the same dinner that the two of you will share along with some old wine and old stories. he holds you when you fall asleep, and your arms are around his torso as he snores softly. your love is stored in the blood of his veins. his love is stored in the palm of your hands, and even if you don't hold it, it still stays there, unmoving, growing, attached.)

✿

[elliefever]

ᴇʟʟɪᴇꜰᴇᴠᴇʀ

Hi sillys! This is just an introduction to my page, and a kickstart into posting! Im a fic writer from Ao3, and im moving to tumblr in hopes that itll make it easier for me to keep up with writing!

(introduction below cut!)

ɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

My name is Eve, (Im 5'7 if you need a mental image) i'm a pansexual poc writer and im 19 as of july 💙

im a pretty open and reasonable person for the most part, and im not really picky about writing requests so feel free to send as many as youd like! im looking forward to interacting with anyone whos interested in my page 😊

with all the boring stuff about me aside, let's talk about what im planning on writing! (if you have any more personal questions about me, dont be afraid to ask them! ill answer to the best of my abilities.)

The Last Of Us

i am a huge tlou fan so i will for sure be writing about it!

Ellie Williams

I LOVE ellie williams so much omggnfjhfhx. ill be writing dealer!ellie, loser!ellie, college!ellie, modern!ellie, and ANYTHING you guys request me to write for ellie! she is my heart and soul and i absolutely love her!

Abby Anderson

abby is so yummy 🤤 ill be writing fics for her too! im not too educated on the different abby aus to write for but i am totally looking forward to writing your guy's suggestions! (and ellabs 😊💙💙)

Dina

I LOVE HER so much shes the best. shes 100% gonna make an appearance on my page!

The Walking Dead

Maggie Rhee

Maggie is simply too fine not to write for bro. i love her so much.

Rick Grimes

i can agree he is attractive and if im in a silly mood or get a request for him then ill write some...silly stuff

Daryl Dixon

same thing for rick goes for him too!

Also any other twd characters i decide to write for or get requests for!

Sally Face

i absolutely love sally face.

there's really not much to say revolving this fandom but i love sally and larry so much!

Criminal Minds

im a huge crime show lover lol

Spencer Reid

hes so hot i literally dont understand how he can be so fine. i have a lot of ideas for fics about him and i never see anything like the ideas i have so im hoping itll be good to publish those ideas?

im open to writing for other criminal minds characters too but no one gets me all giddy like spencer does 💙

Shameless

im honestly really only interested in writing for fiona x fem reader cuz i never see it, but if you guys have any other ideas for stuff i could write for shameless just lmk! 💙

Jennifer's Body

i LOVE this movie so much, i cant wait to write for jennifer and needy and make my gay heart unbreak for them. but also i was thinking, hear me out. what if i wrote an ellie williams fic but like... jennifers body au? like jennifer and needy but instead, ellie and fem reader? just a thought idk! should i?

THAT'S ABOUT IT! or at least all i can think of as of right now!

Things I will write!

Reader loving rock music and nu metal bands!

Reader playing instruments and being super cool

Reader of any gender!

I'll leave room for imagination but ill also put some ideas of reader's outfits for those who want a mental image

Reader having good music taste and a good sense of style

pet names

bold, aggressive, and dickhead reader

pretty much anything in between

Things I will NOT write!

age play, baby talk, uncomfortably cliche submissive reader

i wont romanticize domestic violence or make light of abusive relationship dynamics 👍

emotional whiplash, i want the scenes i write to blend smoothly

piss kinks and foot stuff (and any other really strange stuff)

smut where the characters are minors

let me know if you guys have any questions or anything at all! i hope to be uploading my first fic soon, which should i do first?

[atthebell-moved]

Hi, i hope you dont mind this ask, but i noticed that in your bio post you mention you speak 4 languages and are learning 2 more, and thats honestly so cool and inspiring!! Do you happen to have any language learning tips you used so far that you like? Im in the process of learning french as my 3rd language and while i have the structural knowledge of how to learn a language, i have hit somewhat of a wall in my learning process rn i think. So while i know language learning varies a lot from person to person id still apreciate knowing other peoples process if youd be okay with sharing :] hope youre having a nice timezone

hi! i definitely don't mind, glad to hear you're learning a new language :D big reminder at the top that i'm just some a guy who's way too into languages and linguistics. you want to ask me about jewish theology on the concept of knowing, go right ahead, but in terms of language pedagogy, this is just my personal experience from learning a lot of languages and spending a lot of time thinking about this stuff, though i do have some experience in education. take everything i say with the grain of salt of my personal context!

my initial tips kind of revolve around your goals; do you want to get generally better at the language, or are you specifically looking to strengthen certain areas? if its the former, i recommend doing anything and everything, but most of all practicing, and practicing with french speakers (or speakers of whatever language you may be learning). it might be embarrassing, especially if you're trying to speak with native speakers, but it is hands down the best way to learn, and it means you get very hands-on practice.

if you want to strengthen certain areas, it can depend on which, and it can also depend on your learning styles and what works best for you. for a couple examples: if you want to improve pronunciation, flash cards can be really helpful, and i know quizlet has ways of including pronunciation. if flashcards aren't your thing, i recommend listening to native speakers (i.e. youtube videos, podcasts, etc. etc.) and repeating after them to try to get down their pronunciation, and i recommend a variety of them so you pick up on how pronunciation varies by accent and region. another example: if you want to improve comprehension/listening ability, again, i recommend listening to native speakers and getting the hang of what theyre saying; this is particularly helpful if you can watch something with subtitles in the language as well in your own native language(s) so you can pick up on exactly what they're saying. i do this sometimes when i'm watching cellbit-- instead of putting stream captions on english, i put them in portuguese so that i can see what he's saying along with hearing it. this works well for me though bc i read pretty well in most languages i speak/am learning and i already speak spanish, which makes reading portuguese very easy. again, it depends on your own learning styles and what works for you, so find something that really clicks with your brain and run with it. and this goes for any goal you might have-- if it's being able to read books in french, you can practice reading kids' books and move up to something more advanced; if it's translation specifically, you'll want to look a bit into translation studies and look at professional and amateur translations to see how it's typically done.

there's also the context of the language itself-- yiddish literature is a HUGE part of yiddishism, and translation is also a really important factor for a lot of people, so we read a lot of books and poems and did full translations of texts as practice, but for some languages, there's far more emphasis on song, oral storytelling, writing, or any number of things. if you've previously focused on some elements while learning other languages, it can be strange to switch to something new with another language, but it really helps round out your understanding of the diversity of languages and how cultural context has an impact on it all.

my big big big tip is to practice as much as possible and, if you think you're plateauing at kind of an intermediate-advanced level, that's very normal. every language i've studied, you reach a point where you have a pretty decent grasp on a lot of technical things, but you still don't necessarily feel super confident in the language. i recommend studying new vocab, as that will make you feel more like you can speak it at any opportunity, and engaging in media in the language, like i said above. when i got into advanced yiddish, we read and practiced and had conversations constantly, and it helped me gain a lot of confidence that i was able to open a text and know a lot of what was being said, including vocab, without having to reach for a dictionary all the time or ponder exactly which auxiliary verb was being used, or to be able to express myself really clearly to my peers.

i think it's easy to feel railroaded after you've got a lot of grammar and structure down, so you need to find new ways to gain knowledge and confidence in the language so you don't get stuck at that level. also find a crew to speak french with!! i wouldn't have learned yiddish nearly as well as i did if i hadn't had friends in my classes and built connections in the yiddish community at large, and i think that's a really meaningful way to engage with a language. language is about human connection, so finding ways to build that really does help. and don't forget to review!! you will, if you're like me, get caught up in some element of the language and then may misremember some basics, so it's always good to review those and keep up with anything that might start to slip your memory.

one last thing! if you learned another language as a kid or a teen and now you're learning as an adult and finding its not quite as easy, this is also really normal. kids' brains are so, so good at absorbing information, particularly languages, and it's very normal to get into your twenties and thirties and be like "why can't i learn this as fast as i could as a kid?!" the easiest time to learn a language is as young as possible, but you are not late to the game or slow. you just came at it at a different time, and you're still going to be able to pick it up. especially if you're trying to learn in between other classes and work and just general adult life, it's just going to be a bit harder, and that's okay! for thousands and thousands of years people have been learning new languages at every age and you are not alone in that. may we all have a decent time at it, and best of luck to you. bonne chance!

[alexinity]

Hi there,

I’m sorry you’ve gotten so many anons that are downright hateful. You can disagree with someone without telling them to kill themself, and I wish these anons would actually try to engage with you in a meaningful way rather than just threatening you. That’s why I’m writing this ask. I was hoping to explain some of the nuances of dark content in a way that isn’t pure defensiveness. It’s okay if this doesn’t change your mind, I just wanted to try and actually explain helpfully.

Firstly, I understand why you’re upset about the post. Incest is extremely taboo and morally reprehensible in reality. (And I agree with you it’s not my cup of tea in fiction either.) However, on sites like tumblr and ao3 it’s very much up to the reader to avoid things they don’t want to see. Yes, tag filtering exists and many of us use it, but some things still slip through the cracks. Even if this post wasn’t filtered for you, it was still marked as mature by tumblr and the top of the post itself contains all the relevant warnings. If you didn’t want to see the content, all you had to do was block and scroll away.

Second, in fiction communities, it is absolutely inappropriate to pathologize people’s fantasies and tell them that their content should not exist. Studies have shown time and time again that fantasies do not correlate with real life intentions to commit taboo or illegal acts such as incest. In fact, modern psychiatry believes that engaging with fanfic (and other safe sane consensual ways of engaging with dark fantasies) is a helpful outlet for people. Adults are capable of separating fiction from reality. To pretend otherwise is to buy into purity culture rhetoric.

On the topic of purity culture, policing fandom content in any way is absolutely a Trojan horse for purity culture. Just look at what happened to ff.net. First it will be dark content, then it will be any nsfw content is unacceptable, then it will be queer content, and so on and so forth. The thing about claiming the moral high ground is that morals are subjective and the goalposts will always be moved. You may think I’m exaggerating by saying that objecting to fictional incest and other dark content leads to the exclusion of marginalized folks, censorship, and the destruction of fanfic communities but it absolutely does and it has already happened.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far (if you have) and again I’m not sending this out of malice so I really hope it doesn’t come across as a personal attack. But at the end of the day, (as much as I understand having a visceral reaction to dark content) this one is kind of on you. Tumblr has dark content, this is common knowledge. A post gave appropriate warnings. And you purposely engaged with a post you knew you wouldn’t like. Being into dark fantasies with fictional characters is not an offense worthy of a callout post. Next time please just block and scroll. Other people should be able to create the content they like without being shamed and harassed. Not everything has to be for you.

hi,

i understand your point, thank you for being respectful, i got tired of people just jumping on me, thinking they will do something by calling me names and telling me to off myself.

Thats one of the reasons i wont be saying anything about content like that anymore, the other is that no matter what me and other people said as a response we got insults and not being taken seriously.

Of course i dont think only my opinion is right, i respect other peoples opinions but i also expect a normal response. Instead i was called thin-skinned and told to suck it up. Immature response in my opinion.

i will also add that not all people separate fiction from reality and a lot of them are adults.

i dont wanna deal with all of that anymore its pointless

Again thank you for being respectful and kind, some of the asks i received were pretty mean lol