#|| SO! been messing around with different things in ps and here we are!

[sorrowsofsilence]

I Was Always Yours • 2

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Words: 5.1k

Part One

Warnings: smut 18+ (mentions of PnV, wrap it b4 u tap it pls), fluff, female/male receiving, anxiety/panic attacks, swearing, alcohol, dirty talk

Summary: You grew up with Nick Ruffilo and Noah, but its been years since you’ve seen your best friends due to them being away touring. When Ruffilo came back to your hometown, opening his home tattoo studio, you get the opportunity to reconnect with him, and Noah. Deep down you’ve always had something for Noah, and it turns out he’s always felt something for you too. Perhaps seeing eachother years later, after you’ve both changed, sparked something.

Authors note: This is part 2! Initially I wasn’t planning on doing a second part but there was a lot of love on the first <3 so thank you! Hope you enjoy this one! (With 2 scenes of smut for all of us sick fucks to enjoy!)

PS. THIS IS A FANFIC ABOUT REAL PEOPLE IN FICTIONAL SCENARIOS. I AM NOT IMPLYING THIS IS HOW THESE PEOPLE ARE IRL OR THAT THIS SITUATION WOULD HAPPEN. IT IS FOR FANFIC PURPOSES ONLY!

Noah’s back rested against the bedroom wall, the red LEDs illuminating his room. The clock read 3am, way past our bedtime, yet here I was, succumbing myself to Noah’s need.

“I can’t stop thinking about a few days ago,” he had said as I sat in his bed, days after we reconnected. I was playing on my phone while he was messing around on his computer, working on music. We had hung out non-stop since seeing each other; catching up, sharing stories, reminiscing, and just spending time together like we used to with an added activity.

“Me either,” I had replied, sitting up as my heart began racing thinking about it. What were we now? Were we still just friends? Things were not the same, things were different, but It was a good difference, it was how things always should’ve been…but was it the right choice?

“Nicks asleep,” he had said, turning his chair to face me. It was silent for a moment, as we had stared at each other, trying to read the expression on one another’s face.

“I need you so bad Y/N, you have me completely whipped.” He had said, before standing up and walking over to me: he had started kissing me rigidly, taking me into his arms.

“You need to earn your way back to my lips,” Noah whispered as he groaned deeply, his long, inked fingers tangled within the strands of my hair, wrapped around in a desirable hold.

He held my head in place firmly as my mouth slid up and down, hand holding the rest, tongue swirling around the tip. My legs supported me from below as I kneeled before him at his mercy.

“Christ Y/N, you got cheated on when you can suck dick like this?” Noah looked down at me, eyes fluttering closed before tilting his head back in bliss. His hips rolled into my face gently, beginning to fuck my mouth as his other hand joined the first, gripping the other side of my head, “Man's fucking loss,” he scoffed in disbelief.

I rolled my eyes and internally laughed, choking on Noah before looking up through my lashes, watching as his mouth hung open slightly, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. Watching the hold I had over him turned me on immensely. He was falling apart because of me.

I gagged on him for a moment longer, pushing myself as far as I could, before pulling off of him, the string of saliva following my lips.

“Fuck,” Noah gave me a breathy laugh, looking down in awe with a lopsided grin “You were gone from me for too long, you’re telling me we could have been doing this years ago?”

I gave him a small smile, “I think we have a lot of missed time to make up for.”

I wrapped my hand around him, stroking up and down, rotating my wrist, before attaching my mouth to him again. Noah’s hands gripped my hair tighter, keeping me in place once again as he fucked me.

“Such a pretty girl, letting me fuck your mouth like this,” Noah pulled me closer to his abdomen as he hit the back of my throat. I gagged but closed my eyes to keep going.

“Y/N, look at me,” Noah demanded and my eyes snapped upwards towards his own, and he watched me watch him. With his lips parted he observed my every move, heavy pants heaving from his chest, shallow grunts pouring from his soul.

“Shit,” Noah’s body began to twitch, and seconds later my mouth was filled, threads of his release coating the back of my throat.

Noah tucked my hair behind my ears, rubbing his fingers down underneath my chin, “Good girls swallow,” he said, “all of it.”

I moaned at his words and obeyed, watching his eyes glint with satisfaction and complete reverence as I sucked.

Drinking in all of him I pulled away, and Noah leaned down, pulling my chin towards him, planting a kiss on my lips. I melted into him, sighing with contentment as he pulled up his black shorts.

“I was always yours,” he said, “but you keep proving to me that I’m never going anywhere ever again.”

+=+=+=+=+=+=

“Folio, Jolly this is Y/N: Y/N, this is Folio and Jolly,” Noah introduced me officially to Nick and Joakim, the drummer and guitarist, and I immediately felt giddy. Although known Noah and Ruffilo for years, I had never met the other two current members in person; only through photographs.

I had to admit I was a little excited, because I really did enjoy their music, and therefore have always wanted to meet the other two.

“It’s cool to see you guys in person and not on a screen,” I laughed shyly, shaking their hands. Folio squinted with his eyes, his crooked tooth smile even more charming face to face. Jolly pulled me in for a shake and a hug, catching me off guard. I felt flush as his long hair tickled my face, patting his back.

“Nice to finally meet you! Noah hasn’t shut up about you.” Folio said, grinning.

Noah ran up from behind, wrapping his arms around me, and lifting me up. I squealed with my back against his chest, laughing as he swung me around, playfully, “yea, because I missed her,” Noah laughed, placing his face in the crook of my neck, still holding on to me from behind.

I held on to his arms that crossed my chest, blushing at his signs of affection in front of his friends.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy.” Jolly smiled warmly, “fucking goof.”

“So, you guys were friends growing up?” Folio asked as we all started walking towards the car. Noah had insisted I ride with the boys to the concert, coming early to spend time and see how everything behind the scenes worked. I told Noah I’d be happy to wait in line with the rest of the crowd, but he was taking this VIP very seriously.

“You want me to punish you if you don’t listen to me?”

Yes please, I had thought; but all I could do was stare up at him as he slowly backed me up towards the kitchen table.

“Noah,” I whined, tilting my head at him as he gripped my hips, his cologne filling my senses, “I’m going to watch the show from the crowd, but I’ll come with you everywhere else.”

My back hit the wood, and Noah leaned over me, placing a kiss on my forehead before kissing down to my lips.

“Good,” he mumbled, his hand sliding around my hip to behind, squeezing me, “but you better be behind the stage by the time I walk off at the end of Dethrone, or we’re gonna have a problem.”

“Yeah, Y/N, Noah and I went to school together,” Ruffilo said, offering me a hand to pull me into the car. I sat between him and Noah, Jolly and Folio sitting in the back row.

“Cool,” Folio said, before drumming on the back of the seat. I watched him, smiling.

“You’re pretty good at that hey?” I said, and he smiled back, shrugging.

“I’m hyped for today, I fucking love this place.”

We started driving towards the venue, and the closer we got to our destination, the more I noticed Noah’s anxiety beginning to spike. The entire time he kept his gaze out the window, hand gripping my thigh, resting his chin on his palm. His leg bounced rapidly, and ever so often I felt his fingers squeeze me, his hand beginning to vibrate.

I looked at him with concern, the smile from my conversation with Jolly fading from my lips as Noah took a brief sharp exhale, staying extremely still except for his leg. I placed my hand on top of his own, and Noah immediately stopped bouncing.

You okay? I mouthed, to which he shrugged, his dark brown eyes looking at me with apprehension before turning his gaze back out the window, the concrete jungle swaying past in a grey, lifeless blur. The boys became quiet, pretending to be preoccupied but watched; knowing that Noah was beginning to have a panic attack.

I flipped our hands, entwining my fingers with Noah’s and resting them on his moving leg, rubbing my thumb delicately across his skin. His hands were clammy but I held on in compassion, creating a soothing, rhythmic touch on the top of his hand. I rested my head on his shoulder, to which he placed his on top of mine.

Without saying anything I began to inhale through my nose, expiring throughout my mouth, and Noah eventually caught on, mimicking my breathing pattern. Opening up his palm, I ran the tips of my finger up and down each appendage, tracing the outline of his hand before circling his palm, moving from the centre outwards, before repeating the pattern. Noah analyzed my movements for a moment longer, and I sat up, turning my body to face him.

He watched me, eyes still filled with worry but transitioning to appreciation, before he closed his eyes, pushing his face into the side of mine affectionately. He stayed there for a moment, the soft breath of his exhale brushing across my cheek. With my free hand, I reached up, pushing the bangs delicately out of his face, running my hands through his hair, hoping the sensations helped distract him from his anxiety, even for a brief moment.

I felt sympathy for him, knowing that this must be the anxiety Nick mentioned that Noah’s struggled with lately. Fans have been crazy, and for someone who has always had a low social battery, I can imagine it must be even more difficult for him.

I gave Noah a small smile, before leaving in, giving him a delicate kiss of love and confidence, showing him that he is supported.

“Better?” I whispered, and Noah squeezed my hand in response, eyes lingering on me for a moment more before he let out another breath.

“I don’t know how I survived so long without you.” He whispered back, almost sighing in relief.

I couldn’t help but blush, resting my head on him again, and he wrapped his arm around me now, leaning me into his chest.

Once we arrived we were rushed into the building. Thankfully there were no fans out yet because we were so early- but I was glad because otherwise, rumours would start. Noah held my hand the entire way, only letting go once we arrived at the green room, and him heading to the washroom.

My eyes followed him as he left, the door closing quickly. I then turned to look at Ruffilo who patted me on the head.

“Nice work Y/N/N.” he hugged me, and I breathed into his chest, sighing.

Folio nodded in agreement, “Wow. I haven’t seen him calm down that fast in a while.”

I frowned, looking at the three of them sadly, “this is a usual occurrence?”

Jolly nodded, “unfortunately. Ever since the fans found out shit about where we lived and dug up stuff from his past, he hasn’t been the same.”

I turned, watching the door, waiting for Noah to return, “that breaks my heart.”

The boys nodded, agreeing.

“But honestly, we still have a fuck ton of fun,” Ruffilo said, reassuring me.

“Yea,” Folio said, beginning to drum the air, “now we get to fuck around until sound check.”

I laughed, “And that means?”

“Tomfoolery,” Jolly said, a glint in his eye, “and shots!”

+=+=

“Fuck I hate vodka,” Noah grumbled, eying the shot glass with a look of disgust, lip curling.

“Don’t be such a pussy, Sebastian,” I raised a brow, the boys cheering as I downed the shot, my nose scrunching as the alcohol burned my throat.

Noah plugged his nose before shooting it back, shaking his head as he swallowed it, coughing.

“That shit is literally vile,” he whined, chugging some juice to mask the flavour.

“Don’t be so dramatic pretty boy, you’re fine,” Jolly laughed, patting Noah’s back.

“You don’t know shit about fuck,” Noah glared, laughing.

“I don’t know shit about fuckin, but I know shit about everything else!” Jolly said, downing a shot himself, and I laughed, smiling harder than I probably have in years.

“Aight boys, time for soundcheck,” Noah said, before extending a hand for me to take. Entwining our fingers he led me with them. I had to admit this was very exciting, getting to see the process of how behind the scenes worked.

Once each section was set up, Folio started drumming, and I watched in amazement as his feet followed his arms, beginning to alternating patterns, hitting the double beat and cymbals.

“He’s extremely talented!” I said, appreciating the opportunity to watch Nick without any other sound present- just the drummer.

“Folio is a complete animal on stage.” Noah agreed, folding his arms and watching in approval.

It was Ruffilo’s turn next, then Jolly, and then Noah.

Noah held the mic close, fiddling with his earpiece, hitting a variety of notes. I watched in amazement, falling completely in love with his ‘acoustic’ voice. It was rare that I got to hear him bare, without any music.

Once they finished, they packed up, and Noah explained how the rest of the show was going to work. They were going to let the audience in soon.

“Are you sure you want to stay in the crowd?” Noah asked, reluctant.

I nodded reassuringly, “of course! I gotta get the bad omen experience.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Nick joined us, placing an arm across my shoulders.

“But- how else is he supposed to get a good luck kiss between songs?” Ruffilo teased as I leaned into him, slapping his chest playfully.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes, “he never needed those before and did just fine.”

Noah gave me a cheeky grin, “ok but now that I can have a good luck kiss, it’s gotta be a ritual now.”

I shook my head, smiling at him, “Whatever, I’m going to go get my fangirl on.”

I turned into Nick, squeezing him, “break a leg, but not literally,” I said.

“I’ll try not to or will I-“ he laughed, before turning to head to Folio and Jolly.

“I’ll let security know to keep an extra close eye on you, I don’t want you getting hurt- especially if a wall of death breaks out.” Noah said cautiously, “And I want you to be against the bar the entire time, and make sure to stay centred so I can keep an eye on you, ok?”

I tilted my head to the side, giving him a ‘really’ look.

“Noah,” I grabbed his t-shirt by the collar, standing on my tiptoes as I pulled him close to me, noses inches apart. Noah’s breathing quickened, his lips parting gently as his eyes trailed between my mouth and eyes rapidly.

“I’ll be okay,” I whispered, closing the gap between our lips, and kissing him hard. Our mouths moved together, Noah wrapping his arms around me, folding into each other.

I pulled away, Noah following reluctantly, moaning in protest.

“Good luck,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile.

Noah kissed me again quickly, before letting me pull away. As I turned to follow security, he grabbed my wrist, holding me for a moment, his eyes darkening. I watched him confused, before the sentence left his lips.

“Don’t forget what I said, you better be backstage by the time Dethrone is finished.”

A flash of heat washed throughout my body as I nodded, and Noah smiled. “Good. See you soon princess.”

Noah walked away, turning back once to give me a brief wink, and I flushed, following security towards the stage. I hopped down, standing right against the barricade.

Within fifteen minutes the venue started filling, the string of fans running towards the front, some even beginning to push into my back. I held onto the bar firmly, not letting myself be shoved to leave the spot. I shared eye contact with a security guard and I nodded, reassuring him I was okay.

About an hour went by, and eventually, the lights went dark, and the fans erupted into a roar.

I too began screaming, the adrenaline of excitement coursing through my veins. Seconds later the stage lit up with a visual, a video beginning to play. Noah, lying on a mattress with an initiation mask began speaking:

Why do you care about these people?

They don’t care about you- none of them?

They don’t even know you- because you haven’t shown them.

Black and white visuals flashed on the screen, and my heart raced with excitement.

Every day, you’ll wake up, and there’ll be less of you.

You live your life for them,

and they don’t even see you.

You don’t even see yourself.

Jolly walked out on stage, still completely dark, but the guitar riff to artificial suicide began.

Can you hear me through the white noise?

Fans screamed, bodies pushing against me in excitement, waiting for the brunette god to walk onto the stage.

The bass dropped, Folio’s drum beat taking over Jolly’s riff, as Ruffilo walked across the stage, masked, bass pumping through my ears. Fans howled again.

“Can you hear me you sick fucks?”

The crowd went feral.

Noah strutted into the stage, the embodiment of confidence and poise, swinging his arms before stopping mid-stage, gazing over the crowd, a hand covering his chest in appreciation for the turnout. His face was covered, only his eyes and mouth barely visible, as a black jacket and hood covered his body- it was almost a shame he was so modest, but I knew that in a few songs, he would strip, leaving himself exposed in that tight, black, vest top me and every other Noah fan admired.

“Can you hear me through the white noise!” He screamed into the mic, raising it in the air as smoke filled the venue, and I hollered in awe, yelling for my boys.

“Soaked in the neon glows

Silver-forked tongues talking to you in the digital snow

A glitch in the chain, a loop in the brain

You wanted to break, but you still wanna play the game!”

Noah bobbed around the stage, Jolly and Ruffilo head banging and I took it all in. The lights flashing, the smoke, the raging excitement radiating from the crowd- I smiled, eyes brimming with tears. I couldn’t help but feel proud of Noah and Nick, almost in disbelief that this was for them. They’ve grown so much, and it was entirely different getting to be part of the crowd myself compared to watching them online.

I screamed until my lungs felt raw, my throat burning, sweat dripping down my face.

All of this time sitting inside, sitting in the dark

And every night I can see why you could never stop, yeah

Lying is hard, and the truth comes out anyway

You're going way too far, gonna drop dead at this rate

Noah sat in front of me now, singing into his mic, his hair covering his eyes as I watched, completely fascinated.

There's no another way, don't let me go

Don't dig another grave today

I'll make the same mistakes, I'll never know

Who I was before I faded away into the grey

I gazed at Noah as he walked across the stage slowly, singing intentionally with every word, eyes scanning the crowd before he landed on me.

The song finished, and there was a short break, before Noah came back, jacket gone, the only thing remaining a pair of black cargo pants, boots, and that stupid fucking tank top.

The lighting defined Noah’s arms, his tattoos glistened from the sweat, and my heart began to race once again. My mind began to race with a million thoughts, but it kept landing on how good he’d look with his head tilted back as I took him in my mouth- or how much I wanted him to give me everything from behind, hands wrapped around my throat.

“What is up my friends!” Noah boomed, waving his arms, as the crowd yelled.

“We are bad omens and we are so fucking thankful to be here tonight!”

Nick hit the kick peddle of the drum kit in excitement, acknowledging the fans.

“We are gonna play an old song for ya, how does that sound?”

The crowd cheered.

“Who knows if I’m there?”

The crowd screamed again.

There are scars that'll never ever show themselves

You get when you're left alone too long in Hell

They tried to keep in the secrets that you wouldn't tell

But they just stripped you for parts you had to sell

Noah crouched in front of the crowd, reaching his arms out. He followed down the front, until stopping right in front of me. Arm extended, the body of hands around me grabbing onto his arms, but he left his hand open.

Noah sang into the mic, watching my eyes with every move. I stared up at him with a smile breaking out onto my face.

Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall

You'll have a friend down in Hell after all

And if you're there to catch me when I fall

Then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all

I didn't want to believe how much you needed help

And I just left you to be all by yourself

And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well

But I just came back to see how hard you fell

I raised my arm, grabbing onto Noah’s hand, feeling my breath hasten as an immense amount of emotions washed over me. Here I was, being sung to, in front of thousands of people- yet it felt like it was just me and Noah.

His words were for me, and my heart raced, pounding out of my chest as we gazed at each other. He squeezed my hand before letting go, making his way down the rest of the stage.

There was a short intermission, and I felt my phone buzz.

Checking it, I noticed Noah texted.

‘Don’t forget what I said.’

I chuckled, shaking my head as I responded.

‘I’ll be there you dork. You guys sound fucking amazing, you’re killing it.’

Seconds later, Noah responded.

‘Don’t take your eyes off me for this next one.’

My breath hitched in my throat, and the lights dimmed inside the venue again, before the bass began, introducing The Death of Peace of Mind.

My mind began to race again, and as Noah stepped onto the stage, his eyes immediately latched onto me.

I made another mistake, thought I could change

Thought I could make it out

Promises break, need to hear you say

You're gonna keep it now

I miss the way you say my name

The way you bend, the way you break

Your makeup running down your face

The way you touch, the way you taste

When the curtains call the time

Will we both go home alive?

It wasn't hard to realize

Love's the death of peace of mind

You're in the walls that I made with crosses and frames

Hanging upside down

For granted, in vain, I took everything

I ever cared about

Noah never broke eye contact during the entire song. Despite walking across the entire stage, his eyes never left mine- and I refused to let mine leave his.

I miss the way you say my name

The way you bend, the way you break

Your makeup running down your face

The way you fuck, the way you taste

Noah ‘Look at me’ Sebastian let his fingers flow to his lips, taking the shape of a V as he licked between them, the crowd going ballistic. I felt my own stomach begin to churn.

You come and go in waves

Leaving me in your wake

You come and go in waves

Swallowing everything

Are you satisfied?

The crowd screamed again, and once the song finished the introduction to Dethrone began. I motioned over the security, who helped me crawl over the barrier and escorted me away from the crowd. As I headed up the stage and walked behind the curtain, I watched the side view of the performance, the boys thrashing out their last song of the night, all energy put into this song.

Here am I, take me to the pearly gates

So I can look you in the eye when I spit in your face

Here am I, take me to the pearly gates

Don't let 'em hit you on the way out when I take your place

As soon as the song finished they walked off stage, the crowd screaming behind them. All the boys smiled as they passed me, nodding sweatily. Noah on the other hand immediately grabbed me, kissing me firmly.

“Good fucking girl.” He said, smiling as his chest heaved with exhaustion. My face blushed again, especially knowing everyone around us heard his praise.

The crowd was screaming behind us again, and the boys had two minutes to compose themselves before going out to wave and bow. I waited patiently, watching them run out and smile with gratitude at the fans below them, throwing an assortment of picks and guitar sticks.

After a few minutes, the boys came back, and before I could say anything Noah instantly grabbed my wrist, pulling me along with him.

“Where are we going?” I asked, confused, but my insides bubbled with excitement.

“I want you in all the ways you’ll let me have you,” Noah muttered through gritted teeth, sending my heart into a frenzy of nerves. He tugged me through the halls, before finding a door, shoving me into the room.

It appeared to be a smaller version of a green room, the only things inside being a washroom and a couch. Almost like it was placed here just for us.

Locking the door swiftly behind him, Noah led me to the black letter couch sitting down, pulling me onto his lap.

I straddled him, his hands working their way underneath my skirt, gripping at the now-exposed skin.

“You didn’t wear shorts?” Noah moaned, almost instantly hardening at the realization. His tattooed hands ran along the back of my thighs, squeezing periodically, bringing his lips into my neck, biting at the skin gently.

“Do I turn you on that much?” I breathed hastily, closing my eyes, enjoying Noah’s worship over my body. He was fully indulging in me, taking every moment for himself.

“You don’t even fucking know,” he whispered, tugging the shirt off of my body, letting his lips trail across my shoulders, “the only thought I’ve had lately is what it would be like getting to eat you out after performing.”

I smiled at his words, closing my eyes as his lips trailed along my torso, my hips beginning to grind into his. “Are we— are we really going to do this here?”

Noah hummed in response, squeezing me to symbolize a yes.

“Let’s make your thoughts a reality then?” I whispered, and Noah’s eyes leered at me, completely insatiable with hunger.

His hands roamed across my body, and as I rotated on top of him, digging my core into his own, he let out a low groan, body thrusting upwards, slowly.

Noah’s hands pulled away my underwear, leaving me fully exposed underneath my skirt. “God I love the idea of you having nothing on underneath this, such easy access.”

I heard voices passing down the hall, and my head snapped towards the door, chest pounding.

“Th-There are people outside this door—” I said, pushing off Noah slightly, but his inked arms wrapped around me, pulling me back.

“Well, this isn’t about them, is it?” Noah said, chuckling lowly, “Just sit on my fucking face already.” 

Noah stayed sitting, but pushed himself deeper into the couch as I crawled up, allowing myself to be right above him, almost hanging over the couch; his breath left a cooling sensation on my skin, and I shuddered in anticipation.

“Spread your legs for me,” Noah demanded, pulling at my thighs.

“Spread them wider,” he said, and I tried, splitting myself completely for his need.

“Noah, please,” I whimpered, my body soaking for him, yet dreaded not being touched.

“Look at you,” he tskd, letting his long fingers rub along my folds, “coming undone before I’ve even started touching you.” 

“Please,” I whispered ever so lightly, gripping into the back of the couch.

Noah’s fingers danced around my skin for a moment longer before he explored my body, inviting himself into my space and causing my thighs to desire to squeeze shut; but Noah held a firm grip, forcing me against his mouth. His tongue circulated me, before he sucked, moaning against my sensitive skin.

“Jesus Christ, I love the way you taste,” Noah slapped my behind, squeezing so hard I knew there would be a mark. I winced at the impact, but my body began to convulse against his lips as he assaulted me where I needed him most.

“F-Fuck, I don’t think I’m gonna last long if you keep doing that,” I moaned, rolling myself into his skin, trying to create more friction for my need. One of Noah’s hands left my skin, trailing down towards his cargo pants as he freed himself, and began to touch his own body.

“I want you to fuck me so bad Noah,” I cried, pushing into him desperately as I watched him pleasure his own impulse, slim fingers cascading through his heat.

“You’ll get that once we get home.” He said, panting from beneath me, “I want you to come all over my face.”

My mouth hung open as my orgasm built, ears began to ring. I let out a moan way louder than intended, causing Noah to begin to thrust into his hips, his body twitching with complete craving. His breathing quickened and I felt him struggle against me as I cried out, pushing against him one final time as I came undone, and Noah released all over his taped hand, rubbing out his own desire.

I panted, pulling myself off of his face and down into his lap, sitting on his mess.

“Imagine how amazing you’ll sound when I’m fucking you senseless.” Noah’s eyes were closed as he smiled and tilted his head back in satisfaction, out of breath.

After a moment I pulled him into a kiss, and we whispered praises against one another’s lips, which was met with gentle moans. 

“I love getting to know you like this.” He sighed, pulling back to look at me as we heaved together, exhausted.

I smiled at him, pressing my forehead against his own, appreciating what Noah and I had begun to build amongst our friendship.

I kissed him again, softly, my body flushing with heat again, “Will you let me ride you when we get back?”

Noah’s deep October eyes opened with lust, staring me down once again with an immense amount of need. “Only if you moan my name for everyone to hear.”

Oh god help me

[mindful-of-ideas]

Headcanon: Peaky Blinders

-Being Finn’s twin sister

A/N: I still haven’t watched season 6 (I know, I know, I’m getting around to doing it) and also there’s some Finn x Isiah if you squint.

Growing up, you were glued to each other. You would do everything together, mischief as well as good deeds. And you are very protective of each other.

Everyone thinks it’s because you’re twins but the truth is that Finn’s the only one who truly understands how you feel since your mom died. Your brothers, Ada and Polly sure tried to be there for you, but they had their own grief to deal with, so Finn and you could only rely on each other.

Even if you guys are close, it doesn’t mean that you can’t mess with each other. The nastiest pranks you ever pulled were at Finn’s expense.

But as you grew older, you started to drift away from each other. No one really noticed until your dad came to visit. You couldn’t stand the man, hiding behind Polly and clutching onto Tommy, hoping nothing bad would happen. But Finn tagged along with Arthur and you just couldn’t understand why.

“Tommy, don’t let him touch me,” you whisper as your brother pulls you closer. Your dad leaves, ruffling Finn’s hair. You could see your brother smile at that small gesture. “Finn… you know he doesn’t… he doesn’t mean it…” you say, still in Tommy’s arms, tears running down your face. “You’re lying!” he says before storming out.

It was around that time that you also realized you wanted to do something with your life. Seeing Polly take charge of the business had been inspiring, and just like Finn wanted to be like Tommy, you wanted to be like your aunt.

But those differences never stopped Finn and you from staying close. If Tommy wanted to keep you out of some Peaky activities, Finn was the first one to tell you and would drag you along if that’s what you wanted.

“You’re close to that Isiah guy?” you ask.  “He’s cool, he’s like my best friend…” he trails off seeing your face, “… friend… boy… friend I mean… as in a boy who is my friend… like all of my other friends “Good,” you say, “cause I’m your best friend.” “Of course,” he says, punching your arm playfully, “of course.”

As you get older, you realize you want to stick with school and try and get to university, which meant no more outings with the Peaky.

Finn is super supportive even if he’s sad to lose his partner in crime.

And you’re super supportive of everything he does as well. As long as he’s not flirting with death and as long as he’s happy, it’s fine by you.

Still, you make sure to celebrate each victory with him and your brothers, even if it means falling asleep at the Garrison (John always makes sure to put his coat around your shoulders, making sure no one is bothering you)

After John’s death, you decide to leave and study in London. This time Finn encourages you to leave. Even if you know you will hate being away from him, you both know you will feel safer the farther you are from Birmingham.

You love London, but you miss Finn, so you force him to write every week.

“This week, nothing new happened. Why am I writing this? Cause you’re forcing me to even if NOTHING EVER HAPPENS! Love, Finn  PS: Arthur just walked in screaming and swearing, apparently a rat ate his hat!  PPS: I had to explain to Isiah the ‘boyfriend’ thing, sorry it’s not our inside joke anymore.

Life in London is hard, being a girl living alone, but you manage and Ada is always close by. Your relationship grows during that time.

You come back every summer to visit and it’s like you never left.

“Here,” Finn says handing you a baseball bat. “Are we bringing your boyfriend as well?” you ask. Isiah gives you a reproachful look, which makes you giggle and miss Finn’s playful punch. “I’m just being polite by asking,” you add.

Isiah secretly likes you, but he will never admit it.

Finn’s punches are his way of showing affection, but if you ever need a hug, he’ll happily give you one. You’re the only one who gets to be this close to him.

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Bruce Wayne's therapist

Author's note: Hey guys! It's been awhile and to be honest I've been craving some Batman since watching the movie ( I'm well aware that it's been over a year). I've been going back and forth wondering if I should. So here's a sample of my ideas. Let me know what you think!

Ps. This is not going to be accurate to any comics. Please don't come after me. I'm just having fun with my imagination!

Characters: Bruce Wayne x Reader (Fem!)

Summary: Bruce and you have an arrangement for both of your needs. No feelings, strictly services which you are happy to participate in.

Warnings: Fluff

"You should be asleep" I spoke out into the dark quiet room.

Computer screens were the only source of light creating his silhouette.

"Mhmm" He grumbled completely slumped in his chair.

I walked over closer to see the usual site. Bruce staring at different CCTV footage of Gotham City.

His eyes drooped with fatigue and the permanent residue of black smudges around his eyes, giving him a deathly appearance.

His eyes slowly crawled their way to me but his head never moved.

"I don't know anymore. The more I try, the worse it seems" He mumbled.

"I don't think you're going to figure it out tonight" I murmured.

We stayed in silence for awhile. He was reluctant to leave his desk but he knew I wasn't going to move. He pulled himself up out of his chair. His stature slowing towering over me.

I still couldn't believe he was Batman. I knew Bruce had a rough background but to turn into someone like Batman... Well, that was fucked.

Finding out Bruce was Batman was an accident but not a mistake I made. Stumbling upon this bomb happened in a moment of madness. But only the madness Batman would find himself in. Of course, me being in the center of it.

I was a childhood friends before anything happened to him. Before the devastation of his parents passing. We lost contact or I guess he just disappeared off the face of the earth after that. I always wondered what came of him.

As much of an recluse he is. I did run into him and after all the years, I'm surprised we recognized each other. His face going pale when he first landed his eyes on me, I still remember clear as day. But that's when I met Bruce not Batman. Which is a whole other story.

I looked up at him. His hair a mess on his head.

"Come on, let's get to bed" I nudged him lightly.

He didn't budge.

He leaned his head down making light pecks on my neck. I angled my head wanting him to keep going.

"Mhmm" I moaned quietly, feeling his hands on my hips and his thumb sneaking it's way under my shirt.

Before I knew it, he had lifted me on his desk, He wedged himself between my legs looking me in the eyes.

"I need this" He whispered.

"I know" I said softly looking into his bloodshot eyes.

He dropped his head making me comb my fingers through his dirty hair.

To say that Bruce was under pressure was an understatement. He put pressure on himself to make a change, to deal with his trauma and to solve everyone's problems. He held everything on his shoulders and when it came down to it. Sex was the only thing that broke him down from all of that.

No strings attached. He made that clear. He didn't want a relationship. He wanted therapy, in the form of sex. Which I would gladly give and have given him, for the past 6 months.

Of course, within those 6 months I did find out his big secret. To be honest, I'm not saying fucking batman was not on my bucket list but it is now and yes, yes I have crossed it off. He refuses to fuck me in the suit which I've asked several times.

But I need to remember that fucking him is fun for me, but it's needed for him and I guess fucking in the suit just doesn't do the same job, therapy wise.

I felt my shirt getting lifted more and more until I had to raise my arms to get it off me. His eyes trailing down my body with an underlying hunger which made me squirm. His fingers grazed my collarbone to my shoulder making it way to the side of my breast.

I took a deep breath, feeling the teasing get to me like usual. He glanced up giving me the weakest of smiles.

Him seeing me squirm under his touch, I don't know if he got off on it or it made him relax. Either way it made me lose all of respect for myself and beg him to just slam me. Which he never did. He dragged it out as much as possible.

Savoring the peace he felt within those moments.

Masterlist for other fics

[incarnateirony]

Here's the fun thing about psychology kiddos.

It is wild in there.

We all know Jung is heavily relied on for most modern psych, even if some of his methods were questioned. But here's the fun thing: there was once a debate on if Jung himself was schizophrenic or not, and the end resolution according to DSM was, no, he was able to control it, and live a full life, and activate these different states, and his science based on it was sound.

Most of his students, however, went absolutely insane, because they didn't understand the process, and a lot of it comes down to this fun alchemy stuff. Like the current AI creatives and princeton noosphere studies being hermetic students. They get it... kinda. They get it on paper. But there's some dangers in their method.

But like I said, I am getting Off the Bus. We are arriving at station right about now. I am admittedly disassociating from any patriarchal or higher brotherhood responsibility to those knocking on the door answering the calling of the light. They're still technically doing work for me whether or not they realize it, and I just don't have the energy to deal with anyone else's egos, so let their mistakes be my rewards.

When you dig deep enough in the human brain to explore what Root Access really means, you will sound definitionally insane. And you will find things you probably aren't ready to find.

But if your trickster channeling priest doesn't sound mad hat insane in the middle of it, they're faking, and not even faking well. But Trickster aside that's just one part of archetypical travel and memetic legacy. It's the ability to understand all them characters were you and come from deeper in humanity itself, and that's how you actually slide down the "man is god, divinity comes from within, we are the universe experiencing itself, hey what happens if I push this button" hole.

It's realizing I was always Ash, but understanding what shadows I broke down writing as Ash, and how that traces back to the beginning. It's realizing I was always Zento and Zenthus, even if that leads to Apep and company. It's realizing that this, all of this was me. And all of it is me. It's realizing and working through that root access and this child is NOT IN THIS GAME LOBBY, she has not done the work. Hence copy pasting my shit hollowly and running away.

Which is why I say, Shealyn truly needs tested for schizoaffective disorder, but the historic responsibility that puts on Mark means they would disadvise it. She externalizes all her processes until she hears MeHermanubis forgetting to fill my cat food bowl after fursuit friday or whatever, or enshrines the shadow leviathan for guidance, but that's why she's so easy to push around, it's all disassociation, and if she's thsi far out it may have basically cemented itself medically after being a permanent path she committed to.

When I say she was teaching opposite of hermes while in his name using her misunderstanding of my old jokes and roleplaying my face -- literally the "character" Aaron Eema I worked out my issues with that she put on her court documents but won't acknowledge the ramifications of in her "religion"-- this is what I mean. He never encourages idolizing shadows. It's always about finding the self, not mimicing someone else, finding where you come from and where your inner garden is, and all your parts even if they seem to conflict, and which You that You want to be. She has been doing it fundamentally backwards and refuses to stop or return to reality.

And really this whole mess is just the ancient art of fuck around and find out. I'd have just tried to stay tamped down and hidden but she couldn't control herself, now she's uncontrolled herself into facing her entire delusional reality shattering, a pile of therapy bills, and trying to sue me over the fact that she can't stop reading my own blog. Because. She can't control herself.

The two opposites of the pole, those who did and those who did not, those who did that work in psych and those still running from her own shadows pulling out her hair in therapy. A high magus that just stunt bombed side viewers in a global event most people don't even understand happening, but the receipts are here. All her wonderful stupid prizes for her stupid games.

No seriously, I'm lucky I get free therapy from work. She's caused me a lot of damage with her harassment and delusions. And in the end Mark and other people are all going to need therapy to unknot themselves mentally from her world of lies, and their parts played in it.

So this is what they have, suing me for paying for her medical bills for her long failure to control herself, and a long failure of her current spouse to help her or stop her unhealthy behaviors in everything from society, psychology to magical practice, and that spouse being unable to provide. Oops.

One of us became one of the most sought after psych crisis workers in the country and a fucking magus. The other became a bald octopus jibberish spewing crackbear with a cult to her ex she groomed others into her cope on. And y'all act like there can be an argument here.

You and I both know, Shealyn, even if I lost the monetary suit, which I won't because this is hilarious, she could stop reading my blog your honor, she's trying to drag you into a witchcraft fight full stop. She's terrified of the concept of spiritual death of the ego and wants a restraining order. I'd take it as a voluntary distance she'll stay away from ME if she wasn't trying to get money out of it--but even if I lost that, and you got a few whole hours of my time again. Your world will never be the same.

We know what broke in you when you deleted your blog, no matter what lies you spin to others to try to put back together your castle of glass.

It's time to face the truth.

I Am the one you were after, in every capacity. You just refused to understand what any of it meant, because it meant consequences for your behaviors and choices. You thought you could roleplay through half of it, mimic it back, and harass and chase me when the void and your obsession wasn't filled. But you're looking at it now, and will be forced to look at it for the rest of your life when you look outward.

So you might as well start looking inward.

I told you. I built you a trap you couldn't escape. No backing up this time, sweetheart. You're getting ALL the way off or simply become me, it is that simple, and we're actually at a point of the latter, you're more now like a schizophrenic thought I'm trying to smash with a newspaper.

Janus and the others will continue the work as it is assigned, you are yet again the only one trying to summon me into your life for money and attention.

You picked a fight you can't take back, Shealyn, and you've picked it for the last time.

I've already destroyed you. We both know that. The rest is you just trying to swipe in revenge for something resembling control of the situation that already has your words deleted and hidden, after claiming them as war. Oh, sorry. I did that. That's why I'm the one with them saved.

But you can't fix what has been broken in you without facing yourself and telling the truth and processing the grief that has kept you on your monstrous behavior. And we both know you can't and won't do that.

So I've already won.

I'm the Magus. No, I'm better, I'm the Fool. I eat you whole. I told you at the start. The only way out of this is Yourself. Your real self. And the truth.

I won't have to be near you, you've ended yourself, that's the entire trick, girl. I don't want anywhere near you, this is my final notice to keep you the fuck away from me, and if you can't deal with what's psychologically happening to you internally that you keep externalizing, that's still on you, this whole mess is literally on you. So if you can't face it, the end result is pretty much always the same, sweetie. Hence saying, it doesn't have to be a hard casket death, but you're gonna insist on doubling down until you get there.

You are literally not strong enough to face yourself. That is in fact the plot here while you cry into my old playlist in your castle of glass. And I took a sledgehammer to it and now it's a Page Not Found message.

I spent all Halloween building a reverse bear trap!

You and your newest puppet of a husband -- who I gotta admit is still trash like you are, you're both pathetic vultures -- are gonna get all the way off my dick this time.

All the way. In every capacity. Every plane every precept every knockoff, every enshrined image and saved roleplay trying to mimic me badly, it's all going to go away, or eventually, you will, staring at it. You're going to rip up all the rot and try to find yourself, from the start, like an actual practicioner with an actual path, not parasitically attach to and emulate me. Because now, sis, idk how to break it to you, but the Big Emulation has Changed. But who am I kidding, you will neither understand nor accept what I am saying with that.

[stillcominback]

when i was a kid, i asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any germans in the war. he wouldn’t answer. he said that was grown-up stuff, so i asked if the germans ever tried to kill him. but he got real quiet. he said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. every day he woke up and told himself, ‘rest in peace. now get up, and go to war.’ and then after a few years of pretending he was dead, he made it out alive. that’s the trick of it, i think. we do what we need to do, and then we get to live. but no matter what we find in d.c., i know we’ll be okay, because this is how we survive. we tell ourselves that we are the walking dead. // personals do not reblog ! 

[bellasprettywords]

Hi! Can I request one of draco and reader where it’s the Christmas holidays and Draco decided to stay with reader and his friends stayed as well. Before Christmas began y/n was nervous on what to get Draco since he always goes all out and spoils here and reader isn’t as rich as him. They open their Christmas presents in the common room and Draco has given her a lot of expensive jewelry while she gave him some of his favorite snacks and some other things and crabbe or someone in his friend group makes fun of her for it saying it’s not that great or whatever which makes the reader feel sad but Draco defends her and they leave to his dorm to spend the rest of the day together. 💕 thanks!

a/n: I want to apologize for the delay, my love, but school has been crazy as midterms are approaching. Tbh, this hits really close to home because every year since high school I spend cozy-pre-Christmas with my friends (we are now in college), and we organize a dinner/baking party and🥺💕 so thank you very much for this wholesome request and I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

PS: This is quite long and I took a couple of liberties, so take it as my Christmas special hahaha

PS 2: Idk if the dynamic for giving the gifts is a little confusing, but it’s the one me and my friends use, so I hope you understand 😊

y/n – your name

y/h – your house

Warnings: fluff and Crabbe being an ass (oh, the use of the word ass)

Word count: 4,680

Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!

The air had the sweet smell of pine tree, you could feel the chilly breeze on your checks and the snow was covering the castle making it look magical… or even more magical than it usually was. Without a doubt, Christmas time was just… perfect at Hogwarts. This year, you and your friends decided to spend the holidays at school, as it was your last year at the castle and you wanted to spend Christmas with your found family one last time before parting ways.

“Hey, y/n!! Are you ready to go to Hogsmeade?” you heard your best friend Harry from behind you, taking you out of your thoughts

“Helloooo pretty boy! Yes yes, ready for a day of magical shopping” you said turning and flashing your friend a smile

“Great! Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna are waiting for us” he said putting an arm around your shoulders

“Do you know if Draco and the Slytherin kids are ready as well?” you questioned, and he scoffed

“I still can’t see why you want to spend our last Christmas at school with them” Harry added

“Because I love Draco, he loves his friends, and you guys love me” you said with an angelical smile and your best friend rolled his eyes

“This won’t be any fun!! They’ll be complaining the whole time about Christmas not being fancy, or expensive enough for them” Harry said

“Come on!! You promised you’d try, even Ron is on board with this, besides, Draco already talked to Pansy and Crabbe about our cuddly Christmas theme” you said smiling excited

“As your best friend, I love you, and I support you and your idea, but I swear if anyone tries to mess with you, or our cozy Christmas, heads are going to roll” Harry said chuckling

“Do not be an ass!! Besides, the only one I see complaining right now is you, Potter” you said laughing and giving him a gentle push as you reached your friends

“Is everyone ready to go?” Hermione asked and started counting us, because of course she was the mind behind our shopping trip -and the planning of our last Christmas together-

“Yes, we are all set, love” Ron said looking with at Hermione with love eyes

“Great, then I’ll set you up in pairs and I’ll hand each pair a list with the stuff you need to buy, each one has different items that we need to make this Christmas perfect, so please don’t mess it up, and if you want to spend the day gift-shopping, make sure you finish with your list before” she added and you turned to Draco’s friends and caught Crabbe rolling his eyes. You walked up to them while Mione paired your friends up

“Hello, guys! Ready for a Christmas-a-la-cozy?” you asked Pansy and Crabbe while Draco adjusted his arm around our waist and set a kiss on your cheek. You’ve been dating for a couple of years now, but your friends and his haven’t exactly gotten along, so you wanted this Christmas to be the perfect opportunity for them to bond

“I can’t believe I missed a trip to Aspen for this” Crabbe said crossing his arms around his chest and Draco glared at him his cold eyes

“Come on!! It’s going to be fun!!” you added maybe a little too excited “It’s two days before Christmas and the magic is about to begin; today Christmas shopping, tomorrow cooking dinner and baking cookies and sweets and on Christmas morning, our traditional gift exchange!!” you said smiling widely and Draco set a kiss on your head

“Yes Crabbe, I am with y/n on this one, we’ve known her friends for so long, but we haven’t really spent time together, maybe hanging with them will be fun” Pansy said making you smile hopefully

“y/n, you’ll go with Draco, Pansy you go with Luna, and Crabbe you go with Neville” Hermione added coming closer and handing out our lists “Please no exchanging partners, as the whole point of this trip is to get to know each other among houses” Hermione starred at Crabbe and Pansy. Crabbe scoffed, Pansy smiled and walked up to a smiling Luna

“Thanks for organizing all of this Mione!! I love you for trying to make me happy” you said hugging your friend

“Anything for you, doll” she said laughing and you chuckled. Even if she didn’t admit it, she was making an effort for your friends to get along with Draco’s friends and you were eternally grateful for her trying, and that was your Christmas miracle: the people you loved the most spending Christmas time together. Who needed fancy gifts and trips when you had all this love surrounding you?

“We got cookies” Draco said looking at the list Hermione had given her and getting you out of your thoughts

“Greaaaat!! Shopping for the ingredients is always fun, and we can get whatever we want to decorate them” you said with starry eyes, without a doubt, this was going to be the best Christmas

You arrived to Hogsmeade, and you could see your friends drifting apart in pairs. Harry was walking lacing hands with Ginny -such a cute couple-, Ron was walking behind Hermione who was pretty much running to get the ingredients for the Christmas dinner -because of course she wanted the very best-, Pansy and Luna were linking arms and laughing -which made your heart warm- and Neville and Crabbe were now talking and walking into a store to get some drinks. You smiled looking at your friends walking, laughing and once more, felt like the luckiest girl alive. Draco held out his hand for you to take it, and you did-

“Is everything alright, darling?” he asked starring at your eyes with concern

“It is, love, everything is just perfect” you said starring at those icy eyes you so much loved “By the way, I wanted to thank you, for everything” you added

“What do you mean, my sweet?” he asked rising an eyebrow, but you knew the truth, Draco not only missed his holiday with this family to stay with you and make you happy, but he also told Hermione he’d pay for everything we needed for dinner and to make your cozy-Christmas happen

“You should know by now Hermione, and I don’t keep secrets” you said chuckling and his unbothered expression changed, as if he’d gotten caught

“Look, you know the money is not an issue for me, and I wanted everything to be perfect for my queen” he quickly said trying to excuse himself

“I really appreciate it, and I wanted to let you know this is the best gift you’ve given me” you said kissing your boyfriend. You knew giving gifts was Draco’s love language, he may have some trouble when it came to speak from the heart, but with little acts, and him trying to go the extra mile for you, you could see how much the Prince of Slytherin truly loved you

“Umm love, this is not your gift, there is actually something else I have prepared for you” Draco said grinning victorious, and you gulped nervously. Of course, Draco had something else in store, he always got you over the top expensive gifts. Anytime you’d said or even implied you liked something; he’d buy it for you without even asking. Oh, for Merlin! What’s he going to think when he sees your gift? Would he be disappointed? Would he like it? Oh no, oh no, oh no. you felt your palms sweaty, and Draco must’ve noticed “Hey, y/n, is everything okay? Your hands got all clammy, why are you anxious?” he added

“Oh, it’s nothing, Dray, let’s go ingredient shopping” you said letting go of his hand and walking towards the store

“Hey! y/n! come here!! Why did you let go of my hand?” Draco called a little hurt. Just like you knew his love language was giving gifts, he knew yours was physical touch, that’s why even when it was hard for him at first, he always made sure at least a part of him was brushing against your body.

“Come on!! We don’t have that much time!!” you said still not facing your confused boyfriend; yes, you knew this wasn’t your best moment, but you couldn’t think straight. You entered the store and saw Ron in the sweet’s aisle, of course, while Hermione was getting everything ready for dinner, he was looking for candy. “Weasley! Just the person I needed” you said standing next to him

“I swear I’m helping Hermione” Ron said blushing and laughing

“Of course, you are!! Not getting in the way is really helpful” you said teasing your ginger friend and feeling instantly relaxed

“Where’s your dark prince?” Ron asked noticing Draco wasn’t standing close to you, as he always did

“That’s what I gotta talk to you. He… apparently this whole thing is not my Christmas gift” you said lowering your voice in case he entered the store

“So, he’s getting you something else?” Ron raised an eyebrow

“He is!! What if he gets me…? I don’t know, something over the top?” you said glaring at the door looking for him “What if he thinks my gift is stupid? Or not good enough?” you said lowering your voice and your gaze

“For Merlin y/n!! there is no way he’d think that!! I swear you could give that guy a Weasley hand me down and he’d wear it happily” Ron said making you laugh “Look, I know about your gift, hell, I helped with that gift and I’m sure he’ll love it, and if he doesn’t, I’ll happily take it” he added winking and stroking your hair

“You really think he’ll like it?” you asked your friend and he smiled warmly

“You know what my mum says, the best gift isn’t the most expensive one, it’s the one you put your heart and soul into” he said hugging you “You should go with him, he looks like quite lost without you, I bet he’s never gone grocery shopping” Ron added looking at Draco who seemed disoriented in the store

“Shut up!!!” You said laughing and walking towards Draco, who did seem out of place at the store, which made you wonder if he’d even gone grocery shopping, probably not, as a Malfoy there were many mundane things he’d never done

“There you are darling!! What’s going on? Are you alright love?” he scanned you with his eyes and a concerned expression

“I’m alright, honey… I just want all of this to be perfect, after all, it’s our first Christmas together” you said smiling at your handsome boyfriend

“Y/n do not worry, it will be perfect because we are together, and if anything happens, we always have a lifetime of Christmases to make up for this one” Draco said making you laugh

“A lifetime of Christmases, hu?” you repeated, and Draco blushed

“As long as you’ll have me, love” Draco said and placed a sweet kiss on your lips. The kiss said I love you; I want you and I’m never letting you go, which made all your insecurity about the gift drift away. You felt like the luckiest girl alive, and Ron was right, Draco didn’t care about the gift, he cared about being with you and making you happy.

“y/n? Draco? Where is your cart? Why don’t you have any of the ingredients for the cookies?” you heard Hermione from behind you and you couldn’t help but laugh

“We are getting to it” you said, held Draco’s hand walked to the baking section of the store. You and Draco got everything the list said you needed, so you spent the rest of the afternoon gift shopping for your friends. Walking through the stores holding hands and listening to Christmas carols you finished getting what you needed, and Draco also got you some sweets, coffee with butterbeer ice cream, a cute scarf and matching beanie you starred at for a little too long, and he offered to treat your friends by buying them dinner. Sometimes Draco could come off as… a little entitled, but you knew he was really trying to spoil you and your friends, this was his way of saying I want you all to have a great time.

The way back to the castle was actually pretty amazing!! You laughed, you told stories and you even Crabbe seemed to be having a good time. It was finally happening; your found family was merging with Draco’s friends, and you couldn’t be happier. You arrived at the castle and left all the things you bought at the kitchen, placing them ready for what was coming: cooking dinner during the 24th. Luna offered her dorm for a girl’s night sleepover, and you could swear the laughs could be heard all the way to the Slytherin dorms.

The day before Christmas you woke up with messy hair and a huge smile. You could see your friends sleeping peacefully, so you got up quietly and walked out of the dorm. You were headed to the kitchen with the intention of cooking breakfast for your friends, when you saw Draco, Harry, and Ron walking to your direction, each with two plates of pancakes each.

“Good morning, sunshine” Draco said with a huge smile and placing a kiss on your forehead

“Good morning, handsome, and handsome two and three” you said also greeting your friends

“We made pancakes” Ron said holding his plates of perfectly decorated pancakes in front of him

“We figured you’d be too tired from the sleepover” Harry added smiling proudly

“That’s so sweet of you guys” you said wrapping your arms around Ron and Harry

“It was actually my idea, here, these are yours” Draco said holding his plate. The pancakes looked amazing, they had wild berries, chocolate chips and a little whipped cream

“Thank you so much, love!” you added taking a berry from the plate “The girls must be sleeping, but I guess you can go in and wake them, but I’m taking this one” you said holding Draco´s hand and waving your friends goodbye.

“You must be cold” Draco said taking off his coat and putting it over your shoulders “Let’s get you out of this chilly weather” he added, and you couldn’t help but smile at how cute le looked concerned.

You reached your dorm and put the kettle to make some cinnamon tea. Your dorm was warm and cozy, and having Draco there made it feel even more like home. You had breakfast and tea with your boyfriend, and spent the morning cuddling, until a knock on your door, followed by Hermione’s voice saying “it’s time to cook” made the two of you leave your little piece of heaven on earth.

“What on earth are you doing?!” Hermione squeaked at Ron and Harry, who were supposed to be making stuffing

“Uhh… stuffing?” Ron asked unsure

“Somewhere along the way we got lost and started mixing ingredients” Harry said trying to amend the fact that the stuffing looked like soup

“No need to panic, I’ll fix this, or make another one” you said coming in between Hermione and the boys and looking at the ghoulish mixture they were working on. Pansy, Luna and Neville were working on the Christmas cookies, Draco and Crabbe were working on the eggnog and punch, Hermione was already done with the tomato soup and the spaghetti, and you had just finished the mashed potatoes and the preparation of the turkey. Everything was going quite well -everything but the stuffing at least- and Hermione inspected that everyone was working and following the instructions to make sure our Christmas dinner was perfect.

Around 8, everything was finally ready to be served, but now you had to go clean up and change, because oh Merlin, all of you needed it.

“We’ll meet in y/h’s common room at 10 sharp, be ready and remember the dress code is strictly Christmas ugly sweaters” Hermione emphasized before letting everyone go shower and change.

Draco helped you move the food from the kitchen to your common room in exchange for kissed, and then left to go get ready and you did the same. After your shower and putting your Santa-riding-a-unicorn-on-a-starry-sky sweater and a skirt, you placed your friend’s gift under the Christmas three and finished setting the table. Draco was the first one to arrive, as he wanted some time alone under the mistletoe before everyone got to the dinner. He was wearing a sweater with grumpy cats on Santa Claus’ hats, of course, a gift from you. One by one, your friends arrived at your common room, until you were all reunited around the table. In that moment, you felt extremely lucky and almost couldn’t hold back the tears when it was your turn to make a toast. Christmas dinner was magical, you ate, you danced you laughed and around 3 am, everyone decided to call it a night and go to sleep, not before agreeing on opening your gifts tomorrow morning after breakfast-most likely lunch-.

You and Draco were beaten after the day of cooking, laughing and drinking, so he stayed in your dorm and the two of you went to bed cuddling, you placed your head on his chest and pretty much, fell asleep instantly smelling his cologne and feeling his warm embrace. Without a doubt, this was the perfect Christmas.

“Wake up, princess, it’s Christmas morning, well, day I guess” you heard Draco’s voice in your ear, and you felt him placing gentle kisses on your back

“It’s too early” you complained not opening your eyes

“It’s already 1 pm, love” he said chuckling “Your friends have come over at least three times already” he added, and you heard a knock in the door

“Wake up, y/n!! We want to eat breakfast and fruit doesn’t do the trick anymore” you heard Ron say from behind the door. You slowly opened your eyes and saw Draco laughing at the situation

“I already told you, have breakfast without us” Draco said chuckling

“I. Can. Not!! Tradition says we eat leftovers for breakfast TOGETHER” Ron said making you realize this wasn’t the first time Draco suggested him to have breakfast alone “No man is left behind, and in this house, we don’t break tradition” Weasley added

“I’m coming” you said sitting up and turning to your boyfriend “Merry Christmas, my love” you added placing a kiss on Draco’s lips

“Merry Christmas, love of my life” he replied with a smile. You got up from the bed and walked to the door “Wait, aren’t you going to change? You are wearing pajamas” Draco pointed

“It’s tradition, Malfoy, and in this house, we don’t break tradition” you said chuckling and opening the door.

All your friends were already there, wearing pajamas and getting the table ready to have breakfast, Draco followed you and all of you sat on the table to eat together. After the food, all of you sat on the floor next to the Christmas tree and the exchange of presents began. The rules were simple, the gifts were placed under the tree so you’d take one, you’d describe the person who that gift was addressed to and that person would open the gift, and tried to guess who it was from, after guessing then that person had to pick a gift to keep the dynamic going.

“This gift is for a really special person, who is incredibly sweet and I’m proud to call my best friend, because although she’s stubborn and she oversleeps, she has a huge heart and it’s thanks to her we are all together here, we got to meet new people and we got to have one of the most memorable Christmases” Harry said starring at you.

You stood up from where you were sitting and took the big box from his hands. It was black and it had a silver ribbon, and a tag with silver letters that read “y/n”. You sat in your place next to Draco and opened it delicately, inside the box there were ten other velvet boxes, you opened the first one and there was a gorgeous diamond and ruby necklace, you gasped a little and showed it to your friends. Of course, that was Draco’s gift, but you confirmed it when you opened a second box and a gold charm shaped like a D was lying there, you kept opening the boxes and each one had a different piece of jewelry: bracelets, rings, a locket, earrings and even a tiara.

“Draco” you said turning to him, and guessing the giver’s name

“Only the best for my princess” he said taking the D and putting it around your neck

“Oh, wow, thank you, honey… it’s all… breathtaking” you stutter a little. If you were no longer worried about your gift being too little, now, the creeping feeling came back, rapidly you looked for Ron’s eyes and he gave you a small reassuring smile. You stood up and took a box that read Pansy

“This gift is for someone who at the beginning I had a rocky relationship with, but as I got to know her, I realized she’s sweet, loyal, caring and an incredible friend; also, I want to tell her that I’m glad we can now be friends, and that if she ever need a sister, I’ll be here for her” you said smiling and Pansy slowly got up and hugged you

“I’m really happy we are friends, and I can’t wait to have more Christmases together” she said taking the box from your hands and opening it. It was a book, but not just a regular book, it was a rare first edition on Zygmunt Budge’s Book of Potions and she gasped excited quickly covering her mouth “This is… this…I can’t… I… who?” she could contain her emotion

“You gotta take a wild guess” Ron said amused by her expression

“I… Hermione?” she said a little afraid to be mistaken

“You got that right” Hermione said standing from her spot and hugging Pansy “We didn’t know each other that well, but I’ve always been impressed by your dedication in potions, and I thought you’d like this little gift” she added smiling and Pansy’s eyes teared up a little. Hermione took a box, actually, one of your boxes, it was your box that contained Draco’s gift and you couldn’t decide if you wanted his to see your present, or if you wanted to go to your dorm and never step outside again

“So, this gift is for someone I was not so sure to like, until he proved me wrong. Even although he puts this façade of cold and mysterious, as I’ve gotten to know him, I’ve realized he’s sweet, caring, considerate and a great boyfriend for my best friend. Thanks to that person, I’ve seen y/n glowing and smiling more than ever, and I, well, all of us who love y/n have to thank you for this” she said sincerely starring at Draco, who stood up quietly, took the present and sat next to you

Once again, your palms were sweaty, and you wanted this to be over. Draco carefully took the ribbon from the box and took out a scented candle with the name Christmas bliss, then he took out a mug that read best boyfriend ever, and he couldn’t help but smile cutely, he took out a painting that you made where the two of you were hugging and lastly, he took out a pink box from the bottom of the present. Draco opened the pink box and teared up a little.

“It cannot be” he whispered starring at the content of the pink box “It... I… I can’t believe it” he said placing the box open on the floor

“So… he got her jewelry and she got him a cake?” Crabbe asked “Now that’s mediocre” he added laughing

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not much, but I…” you replied with teary eyes. You worst fear was becoming a reality: your gift was not good enough for your boyfriend. Without thinking, you got up and walked into your dorm with Ron following closely behind you. You sat on your bed, and you felt Ron’s warm embrace around you, a couple of tears streamed down your cheeks, and he made sure to dry them. Ron didn’t say anything, he was just there, holding you and silently letting you know you were not alone. After a couple of minutes, you heard something crashing and a commotion outside the room.

“Get the hell out of here!! I do not want to see you around, asshole!” you heard Draco angrily shout on the other side of the door. Crap, crap, crap, crap, please don’t let to be Harry who he’s fighting with you were half thinking, half praying

“I told y/n it was a stupid idea to invite you, moron, to our celebration” you heard Harry scream. Oh no, oh no, oh no your fear was confirmed by that

“Guys!! Please stop it!!” now it was Ginny “Crabbe, just take your stupid things and leave!!” she added. Wait… Crabbe?

“Oh no, he’s not leaving, he has to apologize to y/n” Pansy added, and things started to make sense to you. Draco, Harry and Ginny wanted Crabbe to leave, does that mean Draco liked your gift? Or did he just pity you? You turned to Ron, and he was already starring at you with a smile

“Wanna go out there and see what the fuzz is all about?” he asked

“Yeah, but, before we leave, thank you, for comforting me and well… for everything” you said hugging your friend and leaving standing from your bed

It was just like you suspected, but worst: Crabbe was on the floor and Draco and Harry were on top of him, Ginny and Pansy were… trying to fight him? Who knows, but they seemed upset and wanted him out of your common room, and Luna and Hermione were trying to stop the fight.

“The odds look pretty unfair for Crabbe” you said, and everyone starred silently at you. Draco immediately stood up and ran towards you, letting you see a black eyed and nose bleeding Crabbe

“I’m sorry, I’m so very sorry, my love” Draco said in your ear caressing your hair

“You don’t have to be sorry… you didn’t give a mediocre gift” you said, and your eyes teared up a little

“Are you insane? A chocolate frog cake? That’s my favorite dessert in the whole world, Merlin, my mum used to make them and send them to me weekly on my first year!!” Draco said planting a kiss on your head “I couldn’t be happier with my gift” he said holding you closer

“Did you… did you like it?” you said looking shyly into his grey eyes

“I loved it, it’s the perfect gift from my perfect girlfriend” Draco said kissing you once more

“I... I asked your mom for the recipe” you added shyly, and you could see the love filling Draco’s eyes

“y/n, Crabbe has something to say before he leaves” Pansy interrupted your hug

“I’m sorry, y/n, I really am, I didn’t know the cake was that important for Draco” he said with regret in his voice

“It’s okay, I forgive you, after all, Christmas is the time for forgiveness and family” you said with a warm smile

You finished with the gift exchange, and Crabbe made sure to not comment something stupid on the gifts, as Draco kept sending him deadly stares. Maybe it was a little messy, and you had some differences, but you couldn’t be happier with your found family; and of course, with your loving boyfriend who repeatedly proved to be in love with you and your acts of kindness. You spent the day watching Christmas movies with your friends, and when nighttime came, you cuddled with the boy you loved, ready for a lifetime of Christmases next to him.

[writingsofanomnivore]

The begging of an end.

Erwin x fem!Reader

Part I

Part II

Summary- Y/n L/n, a monotonous but sharp witted captain in the Scout Regiment. Always used to keeping to herself, she lives in her own world. Erwin Smith, the commander of the Scout Regiment itself has been pining over this very woman. Will being aware of his surrounding make a difference?

PS: This is a series containing of 4 parts. It may be a bit pretentious of me to start off with a series but you know what- go big or go home.

9th September 848'

I've had a pleasant day so far. I got up at the usual time- bathed, had a cup of coffee and started with some of the paper work side by side. I, later got ready at 7 and begun with folding my clothes and found m-

Faint knocks interrupted my daily journal entry. "Come in", I said. No one entered. Groaning internally- I said, in a much louder voice "Come in!"

"Good afternoon, captain (l/n)" said Arlert, a timid yet brave and sharp witted cadet who's already been acquainted with everyone in the higher ups despite only being a year in.

"Afternoon, Arlert" I said.

Arlert, nervously looking at the table said, "I hope I didn't interrupt anything important"

"No, you didn't. Anything I can help you with?"

"Oh, yes- well, the commander has just called in for the MM as he won't be present on the day that was decided..." He trailed off seeing the sudden change in my countenance. I've never been one who is up for unplanned meetings

"oh" I sighed, "what time?"

"5:30 in the evening" he replied sharply

"Alright, I'll be there" I said lowly "Thank you"

He nervously smiled and left

Here goes my day down.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

5:12 pm. Checking my watch, I leave for the meeting where one will just nod their head to whatever the "commander" says. On the way to the meeting room, I stop by the kitchen to refill my flask with warm water for tea. Only to meet, the commander himself.

Cursing my luck- I nod, hoping he would reciprocate the gesture rather than saying something. But, the day just can't get worse.

"Good Evening, Y/n" he said not in his usual hoarse and commanding voice.

"Evening, Erwin" I say, knowing here begins the well dreaded small talk. And gave my flask to the cadet there.

I waited for him to ask me about the weather or maybe the monthly meeting.

.

.

But he didn't. It was exceptionally odd of him to just stand there, in silence while I waited for the cadet to get my flask back.

It was somehow comforting after all that was done today. Just to stand there, in the dingy kitchen along with the very commander who would never stop talking about another upcoming expedition or something work related.

The cadet came in with my flask, another tagging behind him with a basket containing of what looked like tea leaves and some sugar in two separate jars. Paying it no mind, I thanked the cadet and walked to the office.

-- -- -- -- --

"Y/n"

I heard someone call me. Looking around, I saw some talking while some coming back from the break. Thinking I'm hearing things, I decided to take a sip of tea.

"Y/N!" Hange, abruptly and 'loudly' called out.

"yes?" I say as I turned towards her.

" haha, Mike has been calling you for the last minute. Where were you?" She said laughing in between words.

"oh" saying this I look at Mike. He sheepishly smiled and pointed towards a cup and the jar I saw earlier. I wanted to deny but curiousity got the better of me so, I asked what flavour is it.

"earl grey" he said, smiling.

Now, that's a rarity. To have earl grey in the scout regiment, when the tax we get, barely gets through for food, A cup of earl grey tea is the last thing you can expect from them.

Wasting no time, I nodded. Knowing I'm already with a cup of tea- I drank all of it for the next round.

The meeting continued, I couldn't help but wonder- why earl grey out of all? And if so, why today?

-- -- -- -- -- --

"Good morning Y/n" said Erwin, greeting me as I come in the mess hall for breakfast.

"Morning, Erwin" I said back.

"Could you come in my office after breakfast today?" He asked.

I agreed and got up to get a cup of coffee for myself.

-- -- -- -- -- --

"Come in" I heard the authoritative voice of the commander.

I enter, for some reason I couldn't help but be a bit excited, hoping to see something good after that jar of tea, a few days ago.

I sat on the chair in front of his table. He just looked up and continued reading a very full and crowded document. Waiting for him to say something, I sat and stared at the window where the sun was still shining and what some may call the golden hour.

Until, the commander called me out. "Y/n", he said somewhat timidly.

"yes? Erwin" I said.

Clearing his throat, he began,"as you know, I'm not available after 2 days, when the monthly meeting was meant to be."

I nodded.

He continued, " on that day, that is- Friday. I along with a few others are leaving for an expedition outside the walls. No one is aware of it yet nor should they find out. The reason I'm telling you is- I want you to come with us."

"uhm.."

He didn't let me continue and interrupted, "I know it is abrupt and you're not a fan of unexpected events but we are with no choice. It won't be long, depending on the information we gather in the given time. Knowing you're one of the best at it, we need you"

I thought for a minute- "alright" I sighed.

Smiling, he said "I'm glad to hear that."

"How far are we to go?" I asked.

" it will take us approximately- 4 hours to reach there. We'll be leaving at night on the 13th. Depending on that, we may even reach earlier"

"ohh, okay" I said.

Pleased by my answer, he sat with his back more relaxed compared to when I entered and looked out at the window.

I couldn't help but see how beautiful he actually was under that stoic and hard cover. How the rays hit him perfectly- his jaw looking more chiseled and that very soft glow on his cheeks, and the sunlight making his bushy golden eyebrows shine more which reminded me of breadsticks- almost making me laugh.

Controlling myself I lowly cleared my throat and slowly got up. For some reason- we both looked at each other- at the same time and I felt those cliché butterflies in me. I shook my head and motioned to the door.

He seemed to have gotten out of trance and nodded with a faint smile.

Almost automatically, I smiled back and left the room.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

[mrsseverussnape]

Can you please do alan rickman x reader where alan gets jealous of y/n's crush on another celebrity

A/n: Hi lovely, it took me so long but you should accept me like this😂 Hope you enjoy it💕 also i didn’t do proof reading because i cringe myself when i read my own writing, hopefully it is not so bad😅

Theme: Slight smut

Characters: Alan Rickman x reader, Geoffrey Rush

Ps: Geoffrey Rush might be a questionable celebrity crush choice for the most of you but i took the 1997 Golden Globe Awards as my reference and he was one of the winners + in reality he was one of my celebrity crushes so it is what it is💁🏼‍♀️

Celebrity Crush

“Come on Y/N! We are going to be late!” Your husband Alan called out for the third time in half an hour. You were going to Golden Globe Awards tonight and he was nominated for his role in Rasputin, maybe that’s why he was abnormally impatient tonight.

“Coming!” You checked yourself in the mirror one last time before going downstairs to meet your impatient husband. You were looking like an award yourself in your gold dress; you were sure he would win but in case he would have his very own award afterwards. “You can’t rush the beauty honey.” You twirled around yourself when he looked at you head to toe with lustful eyes.

“You are naturally beautiful my love, you don’t need to do anything extra.” Alan took your delicate hand in his and pulled you closer to him before giving you a kiss on your lips.

“Alan if you mess up my lipstick, I will be needing another 10 minutes and I guess you don’t want that.”

“I will mess it up later on tonight when we have free time then. As you said, you can’t rush the beautiful things.” He spoke with his husky voice while staring deeply into your eyes. A tiny smirk played on his lips when you looked away from his gaze with your blushed cheeks.

  You have arrived Beverly Hilton Hotel on time where this year’s Golden Globe Awards were held. You have attended couple of awards with Alan but still every time the press took your photos you got extremely nervous. Actually you were a known author but being in front of the cameras wasn’t your cup of tea at all. After being photographed for some time, you and Alan finally managed to get to your table where you were seated with the cast of Rasputin. You and Alan got in a deep conversation with your dear friend Ian McKellen, had some appetizers and drinks until the award ceremony started. After an exciting waiting, they announced Alan’s and Ian’s names as the winner in different categories. You were so happy and proud of your husband and he definitely deserved a special treatment tonight. You were not paying much attention to the ceremony no more until they announced Geoffrey Rush’s name as the winner and you gave all your attention to the stage immediately when Alan did the same thing for you. Geoffrey was your all time favourite celebrity crush and it was no secret from Alan, though he was lowkey jealous of this situation but still he came to Geoffrey’s plays with you time to time or watched his movies. Alan watched you applause Geoffrey with a wide smile on your face and gave a squeeze on your thigh to get your attention back to himself.

“You seem more excited for him, dearest…” he whispered with a sulky face.

You caressed his cheek lovingly. “You got a kiss, he did not. I think I am more excited for you.” Alan leaned into your touch and rested his hand on top of yours. He was looking so cute but you decided to tease him a bit about this topic tonight, it would be fun.

Couple of hours later you were at the after party and chatting with some people here and there. While Alan was in a deep conversation with Helen Mirren, you were wandering the place with your eyes then they landed on Geoffrey Rush nearby. You excused yourself and made your way to him while Alan was thinking you will renew your drink so he kept his conversation with his friend. It has been almost 10 minutes since you have left and getting a drink shouldn’t take that long. He was looking around for you and it didn’t take him too long to find you with your eye-catching gold dress. You were the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and he was so lucky to have you. You were holding your drink in your hand and laughing charmingly, that view brought a smile on Alan’s face until he took a second to realize that you were laughing with Geoffrey Rush. Alan excused himself from the conversation and directly walked up to you. When he came he wrapped his arm around your waist which startled you a bit since you didn’t see him coming.

“Hello Mr. Rush, congratulations on your winning.” Alan held his hand out to him with a lowkey forced smile. Geoffrey shook his hand kindly and congratulate him as well.

“I met your wife before I could meet you Mr. Rickman, it was such a pleasure though. Such a witty lady we have here.”

“I hope I didn’t interrupt your chat, it seemed like a very funny one since it is hard to make her laugh that much.”

“Oh really? Then I am in my lucky day I guess; won the award, met this beautiful lady and made her laugh.” Geoffrey smiled widely at you which made Alan to pull you closer to himself.

You grinned at his pettiness, surely he was jealous. “I am in my lucky day too I guess, look at these two charming men beside me.”

“I don’t want to put an end to your fun darling, but we shall go. Tomorrow we have an early flight to London as you know.”

You sulked at Alan but nodded, you both said goodbye to Geoffrey but before you could walk away he called out to you with a huge smile. “I will be in London in a week for my new play. I would be honoured if you be my guest.”

“We would love to Mr. Rush!” You replied with a grin before Alan could say anything. “And we would love to have you at our home for dinner one night.”

“With pleasure!” He smiled. “But please call me Geoffrey, mister is way too formal.”

“Alright, have a good night Geoffrey.” You waved at him and Alan gave him a nod then you two left the party.

Alan didn’t speak a word on the way home but just sulked his cute face. This continued until you entered the house, apparently he didn’t want to say anything in front of the driver.

“Good night Geoffrey…” He scoffed after mocking you and headed to your bedroom to undress.

“Somebody is jealouuus.” You said melodically and laughed while following him. You held his hand and made him to face you, you found his sad puppy eyes adorable. You took of his jacket slowly and let it drop to the floor. “Now all my attention is on you my love.” You started to unbutton his shirt and put chaste kisses on his exposed skin one by one until the shirt joined the jacket on the floor. Alan was watching your every move carefully then with a swift move he turned you around to unzip your dress. He stripped you down and caressed every curve of your body with his hands, you could feel his growing member behind you. Your hand made its way to the bulge of his trousers and you gave it soft squeeze which drew a moan from him. You held onto his belt and walked him to the bed, you unbuckled his belt with your quick moves and freed him from his trousers and boxer before making him sit on the bed. Then you knelt down in front of him with hungry eyes.

“Now it’s time to mess up my lipstick.” You winked at him with a smirk and gave a kiss on the head of his member then took him in your warm mouth. His hand directly went to grab your hair when you started to bob your head on his shaft. His soft moans were like a music to your ears and you fastened your moves while taking him deeper. Now he was fully hard in your mouth and he was moaning your name while helping you to move your head on him. Soon his breath quickened and when you started to play with his balls, it was a last straw for him. He started to twitch in your mouth and you suckled on him harder than before. His head fell back and he let out a loud grunt while coming down your throat. You swallowed every drop and looked at him with a sultry grin. Alan pulled you up and made you straddle him.

“Maybe I should get jealous more often if i will get that treatment afterwards.” Alan smirked and bit down on your bottom lip softly.

“Perhaps this was for the award you won, not for the jealousy.” You raised your eyebrow mischievously. “But we will see after Geoffrey’s play in London, maybe this will repeat. Who knows?”

“You are such a naughty girl, Y/N. And naughty girls get punishments.” Alan whispered to your ear with his silky voice.

Taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e @lunnybunny12 @anfre109 @entirelymesmerising @wolvesofwinter13 @mrssnivellussnape @mestin-writes @echoofawind @pamelalur15 @myamortentia

If you wanna be on my taglist, let me know!

[treasureswordsgirl55]

Honestly I just want a fic where Steven is just given like the best hug in the world because he fucking deserves it 😪

I'll do it. I have an idea with this. Give me a few hours and I'll post something. Thanks for your request ❤️

Ps: Here's the fic based on your request!! I hope you like it!!! ❤️

It's a little bit sad in the begging but... Steven is here. That's the only thing that matters 😍

----

"Steven is gone, darling. I wanted to... I tried to save him. But he had to be goddamn brave just to defend me... Forgive me."

I walk quickly up the stairs of Steven's building and for a moment, I see light coming through those small windows. Even after a few months it is difficult for me to go up the elevator. I still can't do it because it reminds me of him, of that moment when I found him having a kind of panic attack over something that only he saw.

As soon as I reach the door of his apartment, I greet the neighbors and go in slowly, hoping to find him reading or maybe complaining about the messes Marc probably left during his stays or about how much he wants to strangle Donna for the bad times. at work.

But I only find emptiness. An emptiness very similar to the one in my heart.

"I know… I know I always joke about you favoring him over me, and I know you do, but I love that idiot too. And I'd do anything to bring him back here."

I look at the date on the little calendar on one of the library shelves and see that it's only been two months since that call.

And Marc still hadn't come back. I needed to hug him, tell him that everything would be alright and that we would get through this together.

But I know it will be hard to watch and not remember that Steven is no longer here.

I see that my phone starts to ring on the small table full of books and as soon as I pick it up I see that the photo I took of Marc at the door of the museum occupies the center of the screen with the little green button on the side.

I decide not to answer for fear that he will tell me another bad news but as I arrange the books on the different shelves, I hear the characteristic sound of a message.

"Where are you sweetheart? I picked you up at your apartment and you weren't there. I need to see you"

- In the apartment of .... - I click and before even writing his name, I let out a bitter laugh - In your apartment.

"I'll be there in a few minutes. I need a hug. I missed you so much"

I smile at Marc's sweet words and just want to hug him. And I know that even if there is only Marc from now on, for a moment I will think that Steven is in my arms.

I miss him so much...

I hear the click of keys on the other side of the door at the same time I feel my heart beat out of my chest. I turn as Marc walks into the apartment and notice that he looks like he's been run over by a train: his brown eyes are dull and have a hint of sadness that mirrors mine.

He looks very tired and upset with the world.

- Hello...

- Honey, you don't know what I suffered being away from you - I go to hug him but he shakes his head. He leaves the bag on the table in the hall and lets out a sigh - How are you?

- Now that you're here, much better.

- But....

- You know the answer... I miss him a lot.

I walk over to the library, stroking the spines of the books, letting out a sigh as I hold back the urge to cry. I don't hear an answer, because I know he's just as hurt as I am. It's like we've both lost a part of us.

- ne veux-tu pas me faire un câlin, ma petite princesse? (Won't you give me a hug, my little princess?)

I tense as soon as I hear those words in French and I feel tears beginning to gather in my eyes. I try not to think that this is a trick in my head since I was fully aware that Marc was very bad with languages ​​no matter how hard he tried, particularly with French, but...

I don't want to turn around and see that my head is mocking my pain, but as soon as I hear footsteps approaching, I whisper his name as if it were a curse.

- Steven?

- It's me, little one - his voice breaks and that characteristic accent reaches my ears so clearly that I can't help but let out a sob. I turn around and as soon as I see him, I rush over and hug him. I give him a hug as if by doing so I can show him how much I've missed him.

Damn, it felt so good to hug him again.

- You're here, are you really here?

- Yes Yes. As far as I checked last time, yes - He hugs me back and I feel something close inside me, as if the gap in my heart is finally healed - I thought I couldn't go back.

- How is that you are here?

- I still don't know very well- I notice the doubt in his voice and he just wants to move away, I don't allow it - Marc thinks it was Khonshu. The pigeon seems to like him now

I let out a laugh as I feel the tears fall down my cheeks and I get as close as possible to him.

- Listen to me - I murmur against his chest as I squeeze my hands on his blue shirt, making sure that it was real, that the heat that his body transmitted was not a trick of my imagination - Don't remember. I know it will be hard to forget, but... You were very brave, Steven. My boy finally put on his armor and became a hero, just to save the other half of him - I feel him press his lips against my hair and tighten my grip around him even more - You're our hero. You do know that, right?

- I just wanted to help him. If he could do it, so could I. After all, we are the same.

- No. You are you and Marc is Marc. You are the two most incredible men I have ever met, and I know that what happened there in the Duat will not be easy to assimilate but... It is what will define you for the rest of your lives. But please, don't ever do this to us again, Steven. When Marc told me you were gone... I insulted you, I called you an idiot, I hated you...

- They were going to take him away, he had to protect him. Marc protected me all this time from this sad memories, it was the least I could do for him.

- But not at the cost of losing you - I pull away enough to cup his face in my hands and pull him close enough so I can look into his eyes - No one could bear the thought of losing you, Steven. And we couldn't take it again.

Listen to her, Steven. She speaks for me and for her. You matter for us (Marc)

- Do you hate me now? - That fearful and insecure tone of voice made my heart tremble. You didn't have to guess to know how much I loved him, just by seeing him I could breathe easy and my world was complete. As long as they were both here, everything would be complete.

- I could never hate you, Steven. I just love you, just like Marc - I get up on my tiptoes to press my lips against his and I move away the second, only to hug him again - You did everything right, you were brave, honest, determined and you didn't even think about yourself, just that Marc was okay and that's what matters. That the great man that I met and fell in love with in the first place is here in one piece and that he knows that he is an amazing person who deserves the world. And I want that to get into your beautiful head, because I'll say it and Marc won't.

Oh god. I love her so much. She know us very well.

- He got corny when I started to bother him as soon as I came back. I don't need more of him. I will never get tired of listening to you.

- And I know that from now on, everything will be fine and that's the only thing that matters.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^  Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[ellieswhoreeee]

The Two of Us. pt 4

Author’s note; Sorry guys for being so inconsistent about posting guys! i promise i’ll do better but i was kinda distracted with a dina fic i’m writing🧍🏽‍♀️anyways this is the end, i hope you guys enjoy it! also i know this feels slightly rushed so i’m sorry for that :/

endgame pairings: ellie williams x fem! reader

warnings: swearing, marijuana, violence, ect.

ps: i’m still learning how to use tumblr when it comes to replying and doing other stuff so please give me time 😭

——————————————————————-

“I knew i’d find ya’ here,” Joel’s voice was oddly gruff but soft at the same time. He was loud enough for you to hear, even from the different distances. It was nice hearing his voice. You heard the rocks under his feet crunch together, making noise as he got closer and closer to your hiding spot. You were hiding in the tree house that was built into a large tree. The tree house was small but big enough for you, even though you built it when you were younger. It was surprisingly stable.

You didn’t say anything, and just stayed where you were. Hopefully he would think that you weren’t in here if you weren’t responding to him. “Kiddo, get down from there and talk to me. I ain’t gonna leave, so you can’t hide from me.”

You sighed quietly, and crawled towards the door- which in reality was just an old blanket that covered the entrance. You hated how noble Joel was. Your head peaked through the fabric. “Did Maria send you? Tell her i’m okay, i’m just sick.”

“Actually, i came here on my own. I’ve just… Noticed the changes between you and Ellie these past few days… I think if you could just talk to her-“

“Joel, this won’t get fixed by just talking. I fucked up this time.”

“What did you do…?” Joel questioned curiously. You looked away and decided to stay quiet as you clenched your jaw. Joel looked down at the ground awkwardly, noticing the look on your face. “I know y’all kids think i don’t know anything… But i’m not dumb. People talk… I’m just waiting for her to tell me so… whatever it is, i can guarantee that i won’t judge.” 

You bit your lip, and decided it would be better to talk to him. It was a little awkward when you first met but after continuously talking to him and hanging with him really changed that. He was one of the many people you were grateful for. You gave him a small smile. “I would invite you up but you’re kinda…”

“What? Too old? I’ll have ya’ know that i’m in the prime of my life.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to hide your laugh. “Fat. I meant fat, you would break the tree house.” You were joking, it wasn’t anything serious and he knew that.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep.”

He hummed, giving you a mischievous smile. He then moved towards the tree, and started to slowly climb up the ladder without any hesitation. You retreated back to the spot you were in, and watched as Joel struggled to get in quietly. He then sat across from you. He was curious about the inside- it didn’t look as abandoned as he thought he would be. “Cozy,”

You laughed. “Thanks, i guess you never been up here, huh? You should’ve seen it when me and Ellie put fairy lights up…” Joel stayed quiet for a moment. You brought your knees up to your chest and let out a quiet sigh. “You know, she’d say something dumb like, ‘it’s Ellie and I’ or something.”

Joel felt like patting you on the back and saying ‘it would be okay’ but that wasn’t what you needed right now. You needed someone to talk to. He needed to be that person for you because of how much he cared about you and Ellie. “What happened?”

“You won’t judge me?” Your voice cracked at the question, and he could tell you were scared. He shook his head in response which made you feel slightly better. You covered your eyes with your hands in frustration. “Ellie found out that i… Have feelings for her.” Your voice was quiet, and he almost didn’t hear you.

He was quiet for what seemed like forever but in reality it was only a couple of seconds. “…And does she like you back?” He questioned in the softest way possible. You removed your hands from your eyes and decided to look at him.

“If she did we wouldn’t be up here…” You replied awkwardly.

“So… You two talked about it? And you’re certain that she doesn’t like you?”

You shook your head slowly at his questions. “No, i kinda just walked away before she could say anything… But i know she doesn’t like me because she’s-“

“Dating Cat.” Joel finished for you. He already knew about Ellie and Cat. Not much, but enough to know how they dote on each other. People talk, so mostly everyone knew about them. Joel was just waiting for Ellie to tell him, and she hasn’t.

You nodded. “Yeah. Dating fucking Cat.” You spat bitterly.

Joel sighed, and continued to watch you. He noticed a lot by just watching you. You were playing with your hands, almost as if you were trying to calm your down from the hurricane that is your brain. You looked pretty sad. “Alright, i’m tired of it. You needa’ stop moping. So, we’re going.”

“Where are we going?” You asked quickly and followed him down the tree house. He waited for you, and once you reached the pebbles on the floor he started moving ahead once again. All you could really do was follow him.

“Just follow me, kid.”

-

-

-

“No way! I can’t do this right now, at least let me get a drink or something! I need whiskey in my system before i can talk to her!”

You don’t know how it happened. You let Joel drag you around town- just so he could get you to let your guard down. His real plan was getting you to Ellie’s garage. He asked you to close your eyes and lead you somewhere- and that’s where you are now. Right behind his house, aka in front of Ellie’s door.

“What if Cat’s here? This’ll be really awkward and pretty messed up.!” He was dragging you by your collar now, just so you couldn’t run away. You hated how strong he was. He then knocked on her door, and your skin shivered anxiously. You didn’t want to be here. You weren’t ready.

“Sorry, kid. In life, you gotta face your problems one way or another. I’m just giving you a gentle push.”

“More like a forceful shove!”

“Quit your whinin’. You need this. Closure or whatever you kids are saying these days.”

“Joel!-“

The door lock clicking caught your attention, then the door opened slowly. It revealed a very tired looking Ellie. She looked up at Joel and then down at you in surprise. “Sup..?”

Joel nodded in acknowledgment. “Heya, kiddo. Just thought i’d drop this off.” He let go of your collar, and suddenly you were on the floor. He turned on his heel and returned into his house through the back door. Fucking Joel, acting like i’m some sort of package. You couldn’t help think as you sat there.

“Fuck me,” You muttered lowly to yourself. You couldn’t even look up at Ellie. You were ashamed. You weren’t planning on telling Ellie about how you felt. Especially when you didn’t know if your feelings would last long. “This was a bad idea, i’m gonna go.” You stood up and brushed the dirt off your clothes.

You were about to walk- maybe even run away if it weren’t for Ellie talking first. “I never pegged you as a coward.”

You sighed, turning back to face her. To finally look at her. You noticed the bags under her eyes, that she looked paler than usual and her voice sounded hoarse. Seeing her this way made you sad. “Ellie…”

“No. You won’t talk right now.” She stopped you from speaking further. Maybe you deserved that. “Avoiding me, ignoring me and running away from me whenever i’m near? That’s all the things a coward would do. And that coward is you, y/n. I never thought that you were that type of person… You always faced your problems head on.”

Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was leaning against her door. It was the support she needed at the moment. Her words were hitting you hard. It was like a wake up call, just what you needed to get out from the hole you found yourself in.

But you also felt like denying her words.

You scoffed, and took a few steps back from her. You felt even more far away from her then ever. “Look, Ellie what do you want from me? You know why. Why can’t we leave it at that and move on. Never talk about it again.”

“Right, cause’ this is something we can move on from… Y/n, I need to hear you say it.” She pushed herself off her door and slowly moved closer to you.

“I’m not gonna do that.”

“Why? Are you afraid? I never knew you were such a pussy.” The way those words left her lips made it seem like she wanted to piss you off, to push you over the edge. Just so she could get your reaction.

“Fuck you, ellie… God, why do you need to hear me say it? You and your girlfriend are fucked up for wanting me to say it despite knowing already.”

She hummed, and continued to take steps towards you. “Are you scared? Is that it? Why is it that this conversation scares you but not a pack of infected…?” You scoffed, and didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to. She ended up being a few inches away from you. You couldn’t look up at her. You’re scared of doing something that you’ll regret. God, you wished you had gotten a drink or something. Maybe then you could at least blame it on the alcohol.

“What are you so afraid of?” She questioned in a whisper. Ellie wanted you to say it, she wanted to confirm that you actually liked her. She needed to hear you say it. Not insinuate it, but to actually hear it from your lips. That’s what she wanted.

Your eyes travelled from the ground and slowly trailed up her body. Your eyes lingered on Ellie’s neck, and then stopped at her chapped lips. Instinctively, she licked her lips as she continued to stare at you. You swallowed lowly, finally finding yourself looking into her green eyes. “I’m scared that you won’t like it.” Again, your eyes flickered to her lips.

“I will.”

For a split second you’re happy. But then you remember Cat. You frown, and decided to take a step back. “You’re with Cat- in love with her. That’s what you said, isn’t it? I may be in love with you but i’m not gonna let you cheat on her.”

Ellie pressed her lips together, a nod and small smile on her lips. “You’re a good person, y/n. That’s one of the many things that i love about you..” Your stomach did a flip, but you tried to listen to her next words carefully. You couldn’t be distracted by her sweet words. “I broke up with Cat. As fucked up as it is… I was only with her to try and get over you.”

“So, what i’m getting from this conversation is… You’re single?”

She laughed, and walked closer to you. “Not for long i hope.” She winked- well, tried to to. It was a pretty bad wink. But it was cute that she tried.

“I feel bad for the next person who dates you… you’re infuriating.” You whispered, watching and you and Ellie inched closer to each other.

She grinned, and watched and you closed you eyes. “You love it.” She paused for a moment, just to tease you before she finally brings your lips together in a sweet kiss. Her hands trail down to your hips so you could be flushed against her body. Your arms wrap around her shoulders loosely. She groans when you nip at her lower lip, then slides her hand under your shirt. God… you’re so enticing, y/n. Ellie was only thinking of you in this moment.

“Oi! Y/n! Ellie! PDA!!” Joel’s head popped out from the kitchen window as he glared at you two playfully.

“Right,” You pushed away from Ellie’s lips. “Joel knows.”

Ellie nodded, a smile on her lips as she continued to look at you. She was awestruck. She finally got to kiss you, to hold you and in the future there would be more memories with you. More memorable memories. “I guess he does.” She peck you on the lips and grab your hands. “You’re with me, right?”

You nodded, squeezing her hands to comfort her. God, you loved her so much. There is nothing better than being with her. You wished you had told her your feelings sooner, way before Cat. Maybe things could’ve been different.

But things are back on track for you and Ellie, and will be for a long time. Your gut is telling you everything will be fine. “Always.”

As long as you were with Ellie, nothing could go wrong.

-

end <3

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Care and Keeping of Idiots

Prompts: Hi I love your fic's so much and I was wondering if you could do DRLAMP (platonic creative twins) hurt/comfort with the light sides just having a lot of unhealthy habits and the dark sides helping them <3 - anon

Prompt if you want one: Roman gets sick from overworking himself but tries to hide it. Virgil finds out and chases him around the mindscape trying to get him to rest eventually him and all the others get him to bed and fluff ensues. That or Roman is sick and everyone fights to take care of him cause I think that would be funny and cute. Hurt/comfort please your honour and lamp is good but mainly prinxiety, roceit and some creative twins would be awesome! A scene for the first idea that lives rent free in my head is Roman hanging onto the door of the imagination while Virgil and Janus hold his legs and then remus jumps from above to knock him out and then they take him upstairs bridal style. I literally adore your writing so much so if you choose to write this thank you so much 💜💜💜💜 Ps: sorry if this is too much detail lol just do what you feel comfortable with - sunflowerblondeuwu

hi! if you're taking prompts, would you be interested in doing some moceit hurt/comfort? - anon

I'd like to request something Logan-centric. Maybe with some protective sides looking after Logan? If you can, if not don't worry about it. - geminimoon14

I've been experimenting with microficlets and short form and thought these were great practice!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: nothing explicit

Pairings: DLAMPR, DLAMP, LAMP, it can be platonic or romantic i don't care anymore

Word Count: 2035

The Dark Sides have their work cut out for them.

“Patton.”

Patton starts in surprise, turning around to see Janus standing there with his arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, goodness, you startled me!”

“Really, I had no idea.” Janus walks forward, holding out a hand.

“What’s that for, kiddo?”

Janus just holds his hand out further.

“I don’t know what you want,” Patton tries, edging a little further into the kitchen.

Janus sighs. “By all means, continue trying to lie to me.”

Patton stops. Janus takes another step closer, still holding out his hand.

“It’s fine, Janus, don’t worry!”

“Every time you lie,” Janus says, “I’m going to take a step closer.”

“But it’s fine!” And sure enough, he takes a step closer. “I can do it! Wait, that’s not a lie. Stop it!”

“Stop lying, Patton, and I won’t have to.”

Patton does not whine, but he does exhale a little louder than normal. Janus waits patiently, his hand outstretched. Patton sighs and puts the notebook in Janus’s hand. Janus hums and tucks it into his cloak and holds out his hand again.

“…now I really don’t know what you want,” Patton says wearily.

Janus just waggles his fingers.

“Janus, I—“

“Come here, Patton,” Janus murmurs, holding his hand out.

Patton takes his hand and tries not to squeak in surprise as he’s yanked forward into a cuddle. Janus chuckles as he flails slightly, wrapping one arm around his waist to keep him still and ruffling his hair with the other.

“Good.”

“What—what’re you doing?”

“Oh, just remedying this error that I’ve discovered.”

“You—what? Janus—“

“Be still,” Janus chides gently, giving his hair a tug, “you’re alright. Just let me hug you.”

Patton won’t turn down a hug from one of his kiddos, but he’s very confused, thank you very much, and he would like to be less confused.

“I thought we talked about that notebook,” comes Janus’s voice a moment later, “and why you should stop using it.”

“But it helps me remember when I have to do things,” he mumbles into the cloak.

The cloak shifts. “Not in a way that is helpful to you, sweetie.”

“It helps me remember!”

“It helps you feel guilty.”

“…no…”

Janus sighs. “I can’t actually take a step closer while I’m hugging you, but I did it in spirit.”

Patton grumbles. Janus cards his hand through his hair again and uses two more arms to guide Patton’s around his neck.

“I’m going to pick you up now.”

“Where are we—oh!—where are we going?”

“Virgil and Remus have a new version of UNO they want to try and they’re insisting they need four people.” Janus rolls his eyes. “I think they just want an excuse to team up, but we’ll see.”

Patton shifts in Janus’s arms as they make their way to the other living room. He looks up and Janus catches his gaze.

“What, sweetie?”

“…thanks.”

Janus smiles and taps Patton’s cheek. “I’ll drag you kicking and screaming into caring about yourself if I have to.”

—————————

“Virgil.”

“Nope.” Virgil yawns, sprawling a little further across Logan’s desk. “Sorry, L, no work for you.”

“Virgil, where did you even put everything?”

“Your computer’s where it always is when it isn’t on your desk, your notes are filed away with Roman’s help, and your notebook is with Janus.”

Logan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And why have you taken precautions to ensure I don’t have access to my work?”

Virgil indicates the schedule they drew up on the corkboard. “Because it’s your day off and you gave us permission to make you take that day.”

Logan sighs. Again. It’s his favorite way of expressing exasperation with Virgil. Virgil grins, hooking his feet around the arms of the chair and pulling it out of Logan’s reach. He pulls out his phone and starts mindlessly scrolling.

“Virgil.”

“Hmm?”

“Can I just have one notebook?”

“Depends.” He glances up at Logan. “You gonna work?”

Logan opens his mouth and Janus strides out of the shadows. Virgil muffles a snort and shakes his head.

“Okay, that answers that question.”

“Virgil.”

“Logan.”

Janus just flops down onto Logan’s bed and curls his arms around a pillow, hissing from the warmth.

“I just want my notebook,” Logan says, “can I have my notebook back?”

“No work, Logan, you made the rules.”

“I said no work, not no notebook!”

“Yeah, but for you, notebook equals work.”

Logan looks back at Janus. “Can I please have my notebook back?”

“It’s adorable how you think asking me will get you a different answer than asking Virgil.”

Logan is quiet for a moment. Virgil looks up at him over his phone and his brow furrows at the way Logan starts to fiddle with the end of his tie.

“…can I please have it back?”

“Why do you think asking over and over will get you a different result, L?”

“Because perhaps you’ll understand that I need it back,” Logan snaps, clutching the end of his tie.

“Whoa,” Virgil soothes, holding his hand up, “time out. Okay. You want it back?”

“For the forty-seventh time, yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s mine.”

Virgil frowns. Then he gets up and nods to Janus. Janus takes Logan’s notebook out and passes it to Virgil, who holds it out for Logan to take. Logan takes it and wraps his arms around it protectively, tucking it under his chin.

“What’s the matter, L,” Virgil says quietly, “why’re you so on edge today?”

Logan sniffs. Oh. Oh, fuck. Janus sits up as Virgil nudges Logan to sit on the bed. Logan sits, still curled around the notebook.

“Talk to us, L,” Virgil murmurs, “did we fuck up? We’re sorry if we did, but you gotta tell us.”

“N-no, it’s—it’s fine, I asked you to do this, I just—“ he shakes himself— “it’s fine.”

Janus hisses lightly.

“Come on, L.”

Logan slumps, his fingertips starting to turn red from pressing against the spirals. Virgil reaches out to gentle them away.

“I suppose I’m still getting used to the idea that I am important to you outside of my work,” comes the whispered confession.

“Oh, sweetie…”

“Can we hug you, L? I think you need it.”

Logan nods, but he doesn’t move the notebook. Virgil taps it.

“Let go, come on.”

Logan lets him pry it out of his hands and toss it onto the desk as Janus wraps an arm around him. Virgil comes back to haul Logan further onto the bed, tucking his head under his chin.

“You’re important to us because you’re Logan, not because you’re Logic.” Janus hums in agreement. “Now, we’re gonna sit here for a moment and then we’re gonna go see how much of a mess Remus has made in the living room.”

Logan huffs. “We did leave him alone, didn’t we?”

“Mm.” Janus tucks his head against Logan’s shoulder. “I’d certainly love to go see whatever mess there is instead of staying here.”

Virgil chuckles. “We can stay here for longer, Logan needs it.”

—————————

“Fuck, where is he?”

“He went into the Imagination!”

“Shit, how’d he get past Patton?”

“I don’t know, but we gotta hurry before he gets lost in there.”

“Hey—hey! There he is! Get back here!”

“Roman! Roman!”

“Shit, he’s getting away!”

“How the fuck is he so fast—“

“Aren’t you fight or flight? Move!”

“I got him—I got him!”

“Hey, hey! Virgil, let me go!”

“No, Roman, you know you’re not supposed to be here, come on—“

Well, if Roman is going to insist they drag him out of here, they will.

“Roman, let go of the door.”

“How are you still holding on, there’s two of us—“

“Shut up, J, and pull!”

“You’ll never take me alive!”

“Stop being so dramatic for one goddamn second—“

“Remus, now!”

Even Roman isn’t so determined that a Morningstar to the head won’t make him go unconscious. Remus ignores the slightly disapproving looks from Virgil and Janus and promptly scoops his brother into his arms and marches out of the Imagination, down to the living room where Logan and Patton are waiting, blankets and pillows set up. Logan raises an eyebrow when he sees Roman’s limp form in Remus’s arms.

“Was knocking him out really necessary? He’s already sick.”

“He’s fine,” Remus defends, “he’ll wake up in like…two seconds.”

“One, two—“

“Hey!”

“Well, what do you know, it was two seconds,” Logan mutters as Janus immediately wraps his arms around a squirming Roman.

“Let me go, I’m fine, I just—“ Roman freezes when he realizes where he is— “oh.”

“Yes, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, “oh. Now hush and let us take care of you.”

“But—“

“We already had to fight to be the ones to come get you,” Virgil interrupts, plopping down with his head in Roman’s lap, “don’t make us do it again.”

“But—“

“Ro,” Remus whines, “just let us take care of you!”

Roman freezes. His mouth snaps shut and he starts to toy with an edge of one of the blankets. His shoulders hunch and Remus counts him heroically stopping three coughs.

“Ro,” he says, softer this time, “you know we want to take care of you, right?”

Roman pointedly does not look at any of them.

“…you said you had to fight over who came to—“ he stifles a sneeze— “to come get me.”

“We fought over who got to come get you.” Remus nudges his shoulder. “I won because I’m your brother and I get dibs.”

“I won because I’m fight or flight.”

“Even though you were so slow.”

“Shut up, Remus.”

“I didn’t win,” Janus says, examining his gloves, “ I just went anyway.”

Roman doesn’t laugh. Instead, he tugs the blanket again. Remus shuffles closer and bonks their heads together.

“You’re not a burden, Roro, we want to take care of you.”

“…why?”

Patton stifles a hurt noise as he takes Roman’s hand in his. Logan scoots loser and curls his hands around Roman’s collar, trying to loosen it a little.

“Fuck, Princey, of course we wanna take care of you.” Virgil ruffles his hair. “You’re sick. Now lie down.”

“B-but—“

“Oh, shh, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, wiping a stray tear, “now, now, you know better than to cry when your head is already sore. I know it’s not your fault sweetie, just shh.”

Remus wraps Roman’s arms around him and curls into his chest. Roman sniffles.

“Now, that’s not fair,” Logan says quietly, “you three already got to go and get him, you don’t get to hog taking care of him as well.”

“Yeah, let us have a turn!”

Roman giggles as Logan tries to tug him away from Remus, which—good luck.

But Roman is happy so Remus will share.

For now.

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If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

[baixueagain]

Apologies for the anon mask but I am noooot in a mental state to get swarmed for contributing to this convo.

I feel like people in this JKR conversation are losing the fact that casual / unintentional bigotry exists. Systemic issues exist. And there's a big difference between a flawed comment, or being raised with beliefs and not questioning them, to being a full fledged bigot.

(For the record, by the way, because the "minorities are immune" comment still absolutely boggles the mind, I am a physically and mentally disabled trans person, who is part of a DID system, and uses a wheelchair and cane if I go further than my front door. Being a minority doesn't mean that people can't manipulate you.)

When I was 13, my father told me that "It's unfair for Black folks to wear Black Power Tshirts and get angry when I sau White Power." As someone who knew nothing about racism in Canada, who had only been taught the softened and white washed history, I didn't question it. I actually started to repeat it, and be annoyed when I saw those shirts. It wasn't until a friend called me out on it, and I went to further educate myself, that I understood.

My mother has dated trans folks on and off, and I was around the queer community since I was young. I never questioned the validity of trans people. But my mother had a saying. "Trans people are ps*chotic when they go off their hormones." If a trans friend or partner was upset, or angry, or emotional in any way, her first question was if they had missed a dose. I got this a lot as a kid too, they had me on more uppers and downers than I could remember, and so I got the same questions. I didn't question it. Years later, when I met more trans folks that were my own friends, and I started to question my own gender identity, I repeated this to them and asked if it was true, and was quickly corrected.

Hell, I ran around using abelist slurs and language like calling people ps*cho, narcissist, bipolar, just to name a few, despite HAVING several mental illnesses myself.

The point I'm trying to make is that yes, things like goblins being antisemitic, a Black character named Shacklebolt being dogey at best, the whole mess with Rita Skeeter - these should have been indicators. But they were also likely, at first, just the same run of the mill daily instances of bigotry.

Does that excuse them? Absolutely not. But JKR didn't go from "hey, maybe having your female antagonist described as 'looking manish' and 'hiding among ~normal people~ to do them wrong' isn't great" to writing essays about the "dangers" of trans people, donating to anti-trans groups, and writing a story about a man who dresses as a woman to abduct and murder women with absolutely zero influence. Something happened in the middle.

And we watched it happen, across several years and social media platforms. TERFs got their hooks in her, and yes, she made the choice to ignore any well intentioned people trying to correct her, but she wasn't born transphobic. No one is born a bigot.

The fact that her social media history could be one of the best and most detailed examples of how TERFs indoctrinate people isn't something we should be sneezing at. I'm entirely serious when I say it should be studied, because we can start to learn how vulnerable people get coerced.

Do I think JKR is still to blame for many of the actions she's taken, especially being such a public figure? Absolutely. Manipulated or not, there were choices she made and advice she ignored, and she has and will continue to cause real, tangible harm to real, vulnerable people. I don't think anyone here is saying we need to make her in to a martyr and forgive everything she's done. But the process is important. Understanding the process is how we stop it from happening again.

I was lucky enough to have people pull me back when they realized I was starting to get pulled in to those circles. Some people aren't that lucky. It doesn't mean forgive them, or that their actions don't matter. It just means that we need more people who know what to look for, so they can help pull someone else back if they see it happening.

I don't really have anything to add to this except to thank you for your story, anon, and for your reflections on this whole issue.

And no worries about being anon, do what you need to do to protect yourself and your mental health.

[lsholland]

London Lights (pt. 1) - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader (1st person)

Genre: Party!Tom

Warnings: swearing; alcohol; nothing much but I don’t recommend -18 to read.

Word count: 1.9k

Author’s note: Hey guys! That’s my first story on this blog. I hope you’ll like it. I’m not native so there may be a few mistakes. I’m trying a new genre of fiction. It’s my first Tom Holland fiction. It’ll be a series of 2-3 chapters. If you want to be part of the master list for Tom please like this post and message me. 

Synopsis: Quarantine has been tough. I’ve lost my boyfriend, and I’m feeling lonely. Clubs and restaurants are open again, but I feel like it’ll never be like it used to. My friends have been pushing me to install Tinder and go on dates. Well, tonight, I’m going on a date. I don’t really want to but I’m going to try and have fun for once. Just a few drinks and I’ll go home. What else could happen?

PS. You can read the story on Wattpad.

What am I doing here? I think to myself.

I matched with this guy on this famous dating app . . . And now I'm supposed to meet him here, at this bar. But I don't want to. I'm just hoping he won't show up so I can escape from this shit-place.

I've been seated at the table for a good 5 minutes. The waitress cleans up the table next to mine and asks if I'm ready to order.

No, I want to leave.

I quickly glance at the drinks menu.

"Ehm . . . A pour over Irish coffee, please."

She nods and leaves. I don't even know what I just ordered. I hope it tastes good. Hopefully it'll make me drunk enough not to remember this awful date.

It hasn't even started yet.

I'm sweating.

"Hey there" says a husky voice right behind me.

I turn around and see my date. His name is Jordan. He's good-looking and I bet he's intelligent, but I don't have this feeling with him. I don't know why I accepted to go on a date in the first place. It's awkward.

"Hey!" I grin.

"Have you ordered something already?" he asks, touching his short, clean beard. "I'm thirsty!"

He looks nice.

*

The waitress hands me my third drink. They help the clock tick a little faster.

He's been talking about his job, his passions. He loves football and practises daily. He has 2 sisters and lives in Camberwell.

Cute.

For a moment, I feel sad for him. He drove all the way to this East London bar, put effort trying to look nice and being cool . . . and yet, he doesn't know it but he has no chance to get lucky tonight. Not with me.

I shouldn't be sorry.

But I am.

I glance around looking for something that might be a little more entertaining than him. I realise I've avoided eye contact since he arrived. I finally glimpse at him. He has beautiful hazel eyes.

Still not enough.

I quickly check my phone. It's getting late. I don't know how to end this.

"Look," I slightly bend over the table. "I'm so sorry but I don't feel like it tonight"

"I noticed." He smirked. "Kinda awkward, innit?"

I chuckle. I am so embarrassed.

"It's okay, though." He added. "I'm just trying to meet new people. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago. My mates told me I should try these apps."

Okay, now I feel worse than ever. He's been so nice with me and that's how I treat him. I grab my drink and gulp it down.

I shouldn't have done this.

"Let's go dance. I owe you one." I say as I grab his hand and walk towards the dancing area. It becomes difficult to keep my head straight.

I'm drunk, I must admit.

I'm going to regret it, my sober-self shouts in my head.

I don't care is what I reply.

The dancing area is not crowded, but there are already a few people. Most of them are girls.

Girls . . . I wish my friends were not so busy all the time. I would've come to this bar with them instead of wasting my time with strangers.

I start dancing. I stare at him. He looks amused.

A group of guys join the dancefloor and all the girls on my right start screaming. It's so high pitched I cringe.

"What the fuck guys?" I shout, trying to focus on the music.

"Woah, that's Spider-Man!" says my date. He grabs my chin and makes me look in his direction.

No way, I think. It's actually him.

I know he lives in the area, but I've never met him before. It's always weird to see movie stars in real life. They look so much more attractive.

He is so much more attractive.

I try not to be a drunk fangirl and shyly wave to him. He doesn't notice.

"You wanna go and take a picture with him?" my date asks.

"Oh, no, no!" I answer. I'm blushing. "I don't even know what I'd tell him."

He laughs.

The worst thing that could happen is to annoy him during a night out. He needs privacy and I must respect it.

But it's so difficult.

I can't stop staring at him. I don't even control it. Being drunk doesn't help.

"D'you want a beer?" I ask my date whose name I completely forgot.

He nods.

I weave my way through the crowd. I can't believe there are so many people on the dancefloor. The area is so busy since the Spider-Man actor walked in.

Even the bar area is crowded.

I let my body rest against a barstool but quickly lose balance and almost fall on the dirty floor. The flickering lights are making me feel dizzy. I grip the counter and get up. I peer around to make sure nobody saw me.

He did.

I dust off my dress trying to save the dignity I have left.

"Want something?" someone asks behind me. I turn around, it's the barman.

"Two pints of Guinness, please."

I glance back at the same spot, but he's gone. It must've been a dream. I'm so drunk I can't trust everything I think I see.

I'm grabbing both my drinks and look around trying to find my date, but there are too many people. I take a sip of my beer and hold the other one above my head.

Someone hits my arm.

Oh no.

"Oh my God I'm so sorry!" yells the drunk blond girl.

I look at my dress. It's soaking wet. I politely smile at her. "It's okay," I mouth.

What a mess. I glance at the lavatory door. I need to go and save my dress.

"You haven't been lucky here."

I turn around to find out who's talking to me.

It's him. Tom Holland. Talking to me.

"What?" is all I manage to say.

"Do you need a hand?" he politely asks.

I blush so much it's noticeable in the dark.

I'm choking. I'm panicking.

I give him my two beers and walk towards the lavatory. I'm surely starstruck. And drunk. This isn't a good mix.

Once in the room, I grab a handful of tissues and try to soak up my dress. I groan. Did I expect to make that beer mark disappear? Yes. Did it work? Of course not.

I watch my face in the mirror.

I look like shit, I think.

A door slams shut. Two young girls just walked in.

"OH, MY G—THAT'S TOM HOLLAND!" shouts one. They are both panting.

I roll my eyes.

Oh . . . I've given him my beers. What about my date?

"Shit!" I hiss.

I violently open the door and frown my eyebrows as the lights blind me.

He's just here gazing at me. Two beers in his hands. One of them is half empty, the rest being displayed on my dress.

"I'm so sorry!" I say embarrassed as ever.

He smirks. "No worries." He hands me the full glass of beer.

I give him a questioning look as I grab it. What about the other one? Oh, right—He's drinking it.

"What's your na—"

I stop him.

"I know who you are." I peer down. "I'm sorry I didn't wanna disturb you" I say as I'm walking away.

This time I'm smart enough to avoid the crowd on my way out.

"That's rude to leave without saying goodbye!" Tom shouts from a distance.

I turn around and stare at him. He's got a soft smile; he doesn't look drunk at all. I wave him goodbye.

Now, he's approaching me.

"I meant to your boyfriend" he nods in the direction of my date who was dancing with a group of other people.

"He's not my—" is all I can say before he chuckles.

"I figured."

"How?" I clench my jaw. I'm hypnotised by his hand running through his hair. And his smile. And his lips.

"I can barely hear you," he points at a booth in the corner of the room "maybe we could sit there" he suggests.

My mouth softens into a smile.

It's difficult to walk with Tom Holland. Every couple of seconds he's stopped by fans requesting a picture. And he accepts every time.

I'd never be so patient.

"What's that?" he asks.

"It must be so annoying sometimes." I tell him as I sit on the booth.

"When they're nice and ask me, it's cool." He chooses to sit next to me. I can feel his arm touching mine. My heart is racing. He uses his other arm to hold his chin; he looks at me with so much intensity. Sometimes peering down my lips.

His face is so close, but he keeps talking. I can feel his breath on my skin. I'm going to burst into flames. "But when they're taking pictures without asking first, that's delicate."

I nod. I can't really listen to what he's talking about. I'm trying not to lose control.

"So, what's your name?"

He smiles when I tell him. "Why did you leave your date alone?" he asks.

I'm so nervous I stutter. I can't find my words. "I . . . I wasn't in the mood. He knows it. I shouldn't have come here."

"I'm happy you came." He says looking me in the eyes.

I raise my eyebrows. "Are you flirting with me?"

He barks out a laugh and breaks the eye contact. He rests his head on the wall behind us.

He isn't as confident as I thought he'd be. I don't know what's up with him, but I enjoy it.

I suddenly remember he's a movie star. He's always being watched. I glance at the crowd and see flashing lights. They're taking pictures of us.

I'm getting dizzier.

I don't want to see my face on a dumb article talking about Tom Holland's mysterious partner. I don't even know him.

"This is stupid" I mumble.

Tom is intrigued. He hasn't got a clue what I'm talking about. He hasn't even noticed the fans stalking him.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go" I abruptly say as I stand up. "Have a good night."

I grab my phone and leave the venue. I'm upset because I really wish I could've met him in a different context. I open my Uber app: there's no driver available.

Shit.

How's that even possible on a Friday night? In London?

I refresh the app, but it doesn't work. I guess I'll have to walk home.

A part of me wants to go back in this bar and spend time with Tom. He's sweet and I'm sure we would've had so much fun together. I glance through the window trying to see his face one last time, but I can't find him.

"What are you looking for?"

I cringe.

"Oh, sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

It's him. It's Tom.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Going home too. The fun of the party is leaving . . ." he sighs. I smile back at him. I'm embarrassed.

I stand in front of him, none of us say a word. It's awkward. I'm getting anxious and walk away. I'm so overwhelmed.

He grabs my shoulder. "Wait, are you walking home?"

"Yeah, it's okay don't worry." I smile.

"I can drive you home."

"Sorry, but you've been drinking. I won't let you drive me." I curtly say.

He grins. He looks at one of his mates and nods.

"No way I'm letting you walk home alone," he sighs "besides, you're drunk."

"Come with me then" I instantly reply without thinking.

He nods.

What?

He's coming with me. My heart is racing. I won't survive a 30-minute drunk walk with him.

Not with his beautiful glossy eyes staring at me.

Not with my burning desire to kiss him.

[binxyu]

He was obsessed with the beauty of colors. Even if he could not see them without you, he adored the way they showed up on his canvas. His biggest fear was losing them and, with that, you. Too bad his biggest fear came true...

>>Pairing: Park Seonghwa (dom) x fem!reader (sub) ft. Jung Wooyoung | artist!seonghwa x photographer!reader

>>Word Count: 4.9k

>>Genre: Mini Series / Requested / Smut & Angst

>>Warnings/Kinks: Begging, blood play, breast play, choking, creampie, cumplay, degrading, hair pulling, light bondage, marking, mess, mirrors, oral (giving + receiving), overstimulation, praise, scratching, size kink, spanking, spitting, unprotected sex, and voice kink

next part ->

The bitter sweet taste of your coffee hits your tongue as you look at the artwork, a vast array of architectural models, photographs, paintings, and sculptures greeting you as you walk into the museum.

You didn’t particularly like coffee. It’s primary purpose was to keep you awake from a long night of editing.

Your heels clinked against the tile and you waited for your boyfriend with a smile, his sluggish steps only making you giggle. You knew he hated this type of thing but he did like you so he was going to get through it.

“You really didn’t have to come”, Wooyoung pecked your lips and shook his head. You knew he’d answer the same way he always did.

“I wanted to. You always look so happy here”.

Bingo.

Sometimes you wished Wooyoung had something else to comment back. That he would describe the colors of everything to you since you’ve never seen them or say how beautiful and unique the abstract art was. Anything else but that he did it to make you happy.

Lots of people questioned your interest in the arts when you couldn’t even see the colors. Why choose it as a career? Why spend so much time staring at black and white filled frames?

Well, you always knew you’d meet the person to introduce those colors one day. That and the fact that, even in dull black and white, you could still admire the technique and beauty of the art.

You always had an eye for detail and could tell if anything had changed on your favorite pieces, even the smallest drop of ink from an employee’s pen. That’s why you stayed awake on most nights, dwelling over the smallest imperfections in your photography.

All of your photos were black and white and you supposed you had chosen that to show that the world was beautiful. Beautiful even in only two shades.

“I’ll be back. I’m going to go to the bathroom”, you nodded and watched as your boyfriend walked away. You took another hesitant sip of the coffee, cringing at the taste but it seemed to disappear as you noticed a new painting on display.

Your head tilted as you admired it. It was definitely unique, an organized mess, and you had to assume it was meant to be abstract. Your eyes lingered to the signature in the corner, small but neat.

“PS?”, your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to rack your brain for any recognition of the initials. You found none.

“Park Seonghwa. He’s a new artist I’ve heard”, you didn’t respond to the man behind you, only staring at the painting as an attempt to figure out the meaning behind it.

“Is he any good?”, the man behind you chuckled at the question and you heard his footsteps approach, standing beside you to stare at the painting too.

“Not sure. Why don’t you tell me?”, the question had you humming in thought, sipping your drink as you analyzed the art.

“Well, I can’t comment on color but the landscape is a masterpiece. It’s symbolic of the chaos of the world. However, I don’t believe it goes with the contrast of the sky. It’s too... calm”, you finished, finally finding the right words to say your opinion.

“You do realize most people only come here to stare and act smart, right? You actually seem interested”, you smiled at the man’s comment and raised an eyebrow, “what do you think the artist should do to make it better?”.

“I’d work on the sky more. Draw the painting together with something more related to the message. If you’re doing chaos you might as well go all out, right?”, you laughed a little and looked to your side when you felt a familiar presence there.

“What’s wrong, baby?”, you didn’t see but you addressing Wooyoung that way had the stranger frowning in disappoint. You hadn’t even given him a glance.

“Work. They said it’s urgent”, you frowned too, not having been able to see the rest of the new works, “you can stay. I just have to go” you shook your head and held his hand in your’s.

“No, I’ll go with you. I can always come back tomorrow”, you gave him your most reassuring smile you could muster and walked beside him out of the museum, too focused on the memory of that painting to hear the question of the stranger. He only wanted to know your name.

Like promised, you did come back the next day. The only difference was that you did not spend the whole time staring at that painting to try to figure out it’s deepest secrets. You looked at everything else first.

A different painting had caught your attention. Well, originally thought to be different.

The longer you seemed to stare at it, the more familiar it became.

It all became clear when you looked at the signature in the corner.

“PS”, you mumbled and you looked over the painting again. It was eerily similar to his last painting but it was perfect.

A slightly different landscape but a sky full of delightfully done destruction.

“He really outdid himself”, you smiled, but then you realized.

“I did, huh?”, this time you did turn to look at the man, admiring his side profile. He was attractive. Actually, attractive was an understatement.

“You’re Park Seonghwa?”, you were a little taken aback, never having seen one of the artists actually in the museum looking at their work. Much less asking strangers for their opinions of it.

“Yeah. Amateur artist”, he chuckled and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Everything about him did scream struggling artist. From the vivid patches of paint on his whitewashed jeans to the array of pens sticking out of his pocket.

His work, however, screamed the opposite.

“Your work doesn’t show it”, you shook your head as you looked back at the painting, admiring how he had taken your advice to heart.

“Thank you”, you took the time of those words to listen intently to the gracefulness of his voice. Everything about him was some form of art. Perfectly made.

“I’m y/n, amateur photographer”, he let out a small snicker at that and you turned your head to look at him.

“Sorry- it’s just funny that we’re both amateur-“, his words were cut off as he locked eyes with you. The world seemed to freeze as color suddenly flooded it, filling the museum with so much vibrancy that you had to squeeze your eyes shut. It was overwhelming.

“Amateur soulmates?”, you joked half-hearteningly as you opened your eyes again, slowly taking in the world around you. Seonghwa was doing the same, looking at every piece of art in such a new light. A new light in a world full of darkness.

“Seems like it”, he nods, looking at his own work. It was the only one still familiar, made entirely of black and white oil paints. That was the world you had both been in for so long.

“Shit”, you cursed without realizing, finally piecing it together in your mind that this was your soulmate. Not Wooyoung. It was never Wooyoung.

“What? Aren’t you supposed to be happy? Look at it all!”, Seonghwa waved around the room and, you did have to admit, it was breathtaking. All you wanted to do was stare at it all for hours. Take in every new detail imaginable.

“Remember my boyfriend?”, your words were like a slap, an awakening call to a once extraordinary moment.

“Yeah, I suppose you’ll have to tell him”, for some reason that pissed you off. Why wouldn’t you tell Wooyoung? You had to. You weren’t just going to ghost him.

“What? Do you expect me to just ghost him?”, your arms crossed across your chest and you lowered your gaze, finding it too much to finally see someone’s face in full color and gloriousness. The familiar black and white greeted you as you stared at your shoes.

“No. Definitely not. I just... assumed you’d be as excited as I am. That’s all”, oh how correct he was. You were beyond excited. You could finally see the world in all its shades and textures with someone that wanted that too.

“I am! I really am, Seonghwa. I need time is all”, his eyes lit up at that and you admired them. It was cute how they widened. The warm color of them almost drawing you in, an invitation to run away with him. To create the most beautiful art with him.

“Keep coming back and I’ll be here. I’ll wait”, you nodded when you noticed his hand hovering over your’s. He smiled softly and took it into his, squeezing it and you felt engulfed with warmth and comfort.

“Till next time then amateur. I’ll look at your photo so you can paint with color”, the artist chuckled and shook his head, already knowing that wasn’t going to work. He liked the intuitive though.

“Bye my amateur soulmate”, your heart seemed to swell in your chest in an almost painful way. You found yourself almost forgetting Wooyoung even existed and that... that was an awful realization.

“You told him?”, the artist asked as he painted, delicately applying the brush where he deemed necessary. You weren’t sure what he was painting, his easel turned away from you and towards him.

“Yeah, we agreed to just stay friends. I think we were already falling out of love anyways”, Seonghwa’s eyebrows furrowed at that and he looked back at you. Color flooded your world like it always did when he looked at you, but it still caught you off guard each time.

“Why do you say that?”, you kicked your legs back and forth softly as you sat on the counter, the question clouding your mind as you racked up an answer.

“We didn’t really have common interests. I was into art while he was more a business man”, Seonghwa nodded and looked back at his work, making the world go dull again. You hated that. You wished all the colors would just stay so you could see him in all his glory all the time.

“Wait- can you look here again?”, your request was quiet and shy, but the man did hear you. He looked back up at you and you let out a sigh of relief as you got to see the beauty of the room again. His art was hung up all over the walls and you just loved to look at it, examine it.

“You know... I’ve never seen your photography”, Seonghwa thought out loud as he looked at you. He hid one of his hands behind his back and walked over to you.

“Want to see? I have some of the photos saved on my phone”, you started to dig in your purse for your phone but you felt a cold sensation on your cheek, making your head whirl around to look at the man.

“You- you did not just smear paint on my cheek”, the artist gave you an innocent smile as an answer and it was all you needed to jump off the counter and start running for the paint buckets.

Colors flew around the room as you both threw the paint at one another. The both of you ended up looking like living abstract artwork by the time you ran out of paint.

“This is not comfortable”, Seonghwa laughed at your comment as his eyes trailed down your body. The wet paint stuck to your body and he respectfully looked away, not wanted to look somewhere that would make you uncomfortable.

“You can look at your mess”, you giggled as you tried to wipe away the bubblegum pink on your cheek that was way too close to your mouth for your comfort. The artist had some good aim.

Your words made him swoon. Your mess.

“My beautiful mess”, your cheeks went redder than the paint on your chest and Seonghwa chuckled, loving the sight of your flush. This time, his eyes admired your body fully. How the palette of colors contrasted to your skin, how your eyes lit up as you looked at him, and how your wet clothes clinged to your body.

“Can I?”, you nodded, loving that he always asked first before he did anything. You were both new to the emotions that filled you when you were together.

His large hands rested on your waist and then traveled downwards to rest on your hips, memorizing every curve as if you were the most complicated sculpture he had ever seen.

“Can I?”, you repeated the question as you eyed the lewd sight of his bare chest showing through his flimsy shirt. He nodded, his eyes never leaving your body. Your own hands went to his chest, ghosting over his nipples before they arrived at his stomach.

“Do you work out?”, the muscle beneath your fingers was hard to ignore and so was the way Seonghwa’s hands had trailed up to cup your breasts, feeling how your nipples got harder from just that feeling.

“Yeah, I do sometimes”, you wondered why he gave you such a blunt answer but then you realized he was staring at your face now. Well, more specifically your lips.

“Creative and athletic. Anything else I should know to keep me attached to you?”, Seonghwa shook his head and you finally connected your lips together. His lips were soft and plump. They felt so perfect against your own and your bodies pressed together in such a feverous way that you worried your legs would give out underneath you.

His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to him, rubbing his crotch against your core. The heat ran through your veins all the way to your thighs, soaking the skin there with arousal.

“How about we make use of this paint?”, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion before your eyes followed where Seonghwa was staring, finding a lone canvas in the corner of the room. It was huge and your mind seemed to click with the artist’s as the same idea pops in your head.

���We’re definitely not selling this”, Seonghwa laughed and nodded in agreement, his hands gripped the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your head. He wasn’t surprised to find no bra underneath. You were adamant about the fact that if you didn’t have to then you wouldn’t.

“Oh yeah, most definitely not. This is all mine”, his hands gripped your ass and you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist tightly and your arms around his neck. He was so intoxicating and your body ached for me, wanting nothing more than to be used by him.

“All your’s”, you nodded and connected your lips again, tasting your own distinct coffee on them. This time, however, you didn’t cringe at the taste. On his lips, it felt right. Bitter and sweet.

Seonghwa used his feet to maneuver the canvas, causing it to lay flat on the tilt. It was inviting, calling out to be covered in the love, chaos, and art your two bodies could make together.

He laid you back onto it, your back already applying a variety of colors to the canvas. Your silhouette would definitely be the most distinct shape in the painting.

“It’s already a masterpiece”, the artist hovered above you, adoring your rosy cheeks and the way your body perfectly fits on the canvas. He would never forget how you looked in this moment.

You noticed how his fingers were playing with the waistband of your skirt and you gently gripped his wrist to stop him. He looked up at you like you had just told him off.

“You can have me. Take me, baby”, his expression immediately relaxed and he leaned up to kiss you, his tongue exploring your mouth as his fingers trailed up underneath the skirt. It was ticklish and slow, a teasing game you knew he was playing.

“Oh come on. Don’t be a fucking tease”, you smiled against his lips and he pulled your panties to the side, trailing his finger up your slit. He pulled it away and you whined from the loss of contact, but that whine was cut short when you watched him like your juices off his fingers in the most lewd way. He sucked on his digit as he maintained eye contact with you, moaning as your taste coated his tongue.

“You’re delicious”, his eyes were blown out with lust and another wave of arousal went to your core at the sight. Seonghwa’s hands gripped your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the canvas, making you yelp before his head was buried under your skirt. His tongue circled around your drenched pussy and your hand immediately found solace in his dark hair, watching as the bright orange paint on his hands spread on your thighs.

“Please, Seonghwa. I need you”, you tugged on his hair, shivers going up your spine from the wet paint and the feeling of the artist’s cold breath so close to where you need him most.

He doesn’t need to be told twice as he plunges his tongue into your cunt, swirling it around to hit your walls as his finger works magic on your clit, rubbing it in figure-eight motions.

A sweet moan left your lips and your back arched, hands gripping the edge of the canvas behind you. You knew you were scratching up the canvas and leaving any color there on your hands, but nothing mattered at the moment except the pleasure Seonghwa was giving you.

Now your moans were his favorite sound, striving to hear more of them as he curled his tongue inside of you. You were absolutely ravishing. Perfect with every sound, smell, and taste.

“Fuck! I’m going to cum!”, your head rested back on the canvas as a knot began to form in your stomach, begging to be released. Seonghwa continued his pace until your love juices coated his tongue, an even more addicted taste entering his life.

He pulled away, spitted on your hole, and pushed his tongue right back in. Your legs began to shake from the overstimulation as the man mercilessly lapped at your pussy, wanting every last drop of your delicious cum in his mouth.

“You might just be my favorite food now”, your tongue poked your inner cheek in annoyance when you saw his teasing smirk appear, no longer hidden beneath your skirt.

“Might be?”, you scoffed playfully as you tried to calm down from your orgasm. Seonghwa chuckled mischievously and kissed you, the taste of your own release welcoming you and you moaned into his mouth.

“Definitely are”, he corrected himself and you smiled proudly as Seonghwa’s hands tugged your skirt off and he threw the fabric to the side.

“Hold on, I can’t be the only one naked here”, you stopped him with a hand on his chest before he could remove your panties. You sat up and looked him in the eye as you unzipped his jeans painfully slow, feeling his erection grow harder beneath your hands.

You gasped when his hands suddenly gripped your hair and pulled your head back, the sting making your head hurt momentarily. Seonghwa held your hair in a tight grip to keep you still as he removed his jeans and boxers himself, the clothing joining your own in the corner of the room.

“Just for that you’ll return the favor, doll”, he pulled you up by your hair onto your knees, the paint on the canvas sticking to your calves as you eyed his erection. Your mouth practically watered at the sight of his angry cock begging for attention.

“Get to work”, it seemed like such a simple and innocent command but Seonghwa managed to make it sound like the most absurd phrase known to man. He forced your head to his cock by your hair and you opened your mouth like a puppet hanging by strings. Tears sprung up in your eyes as his tip hit the back of your throat and he stayed still to allow you to get used to his size.

You patted his thigh as a sign he could move. Seonghwa started to move your head back and forth by your hair and the sensation of your warm mouth wrapped around him caused him to let out a hefty groan. It was like music to your ears and you sped up, moving your head on your own now.

Your hands gripped the muscular flesh of Seonghwa’s thighs, scratching the smooth skin. You could feel blood start to stick to your fingertips and drip down onto the canvas, but it only soaked into the array of colors already there.

“You feel so good, baby. You want my cum?”, you desperately nodded your head as you looked up at him, locking eyes with his as he came down your throat. Your eyes closed shut as you swallowed him, a citrusy bitter taste exploding in your mouth.

“Pineapples?”, you smiled up at him after he took his dick out of your mouth. He laughed and nodded, running his fingers through your hair softly, a entirely different feeling from his grip there before.

“Mhm, addicting huh?”, the artist smiled and you nodded immediately, collecting some of the cum on your chin that had slipped out of your mouth. Seonghwa watched as you sucked on your fingers, igniting a new fire within him that wanted nothing more than to absolutely ruin you.

“Hands and knees”, you didn’t have to be told twice and you turned around to get in position like a trained bitch, your ass in the air and your back arched. The feeling of your bare nipples rubbing against the cold paint made another gush of wetness rush down your thighs.

“These panties are practically useless at this point”, Seonghwa’s lust-filled chuckle made a shiver run down your spine as he looked at how they just stuck to your folds and he pulled them down your legs. Silence filled the air as he admired you, gaze drifting all over your body and how ready you were to allow him to search it.

“Are you ready?”, his tone was soft as he looked down at you, waiting patiently and rubbing circles into your hips. You felt comfortable and safe with him, pushing your hips back to hear a low groan from him.

“Yes, I’m ready”, you nod and look back at him over your shoulder. He was happy to see you in all your glory again now that you were looking at him as he pushes himself into you, stretching you out deliciously. He watched as your eyes widened and the color within them darkened with lust.

“Loosen up, baby. I’m not even all the way in”, Seonghwa chuckled as you clenched around half of his length that was inside of you. You could’ve sworn that was what you normally took. How was he this big?

“Just relax, I’ve got you”, and you did as you were told, trying your best to relax your walls and allow him to stretch you the rest of the way. Your body shook in ecstasy as his tip caressed your cervix, finally all the way inside of you. You swear you can feel him in your stomach, looking down under you to see if that feeling was right. It was.

Right in your lower belly was the bulge where Seonghwa’s girth sat, waiting to destroy you as your body molds to accommodate for his size. Your legs were shaking and already threatening to close, a sight noticed by the artist.

“Hold on, princess. Hold them open for me”, you nodded as you finally began to adjust, feeling a little less overwhelmed. You felt the raw burn of a rope against your ankles and looked behind you again to see Seonghwa tying them to two cans of paint, keeping your legs widely spread for him.

“Much better”, he realized you were ready and started to move slowly in and out of you, knowing you were already overwhelmed. His hands trailed down to rest on your belly, feeling his bulge go in and out of that spot.

“Fuck, you have such a tiny cunt. I can’t wait to fill it up and see how much it swells up your tummy”, his words made you moan loudly, some tears running down your cheeks as you feel the warmth in your tummy. It was begging for you to release it, but you wanted nothing more than to have your own cum mix with Seonghwa’s inside of you. You waited.

Seonghwa gripped your hair and pulled your head back, watching your facial expressions in the reflection of a mirror across from the room. You were his good little whore. All his.

Every time the man snapped his hips against your ass, you could see paint flying off of you both in droplets onto the canvas below you. This was going to be Seonghwa’s way of having a constant reminder around that you are his.

His hand moved from your hair to your neck, squeezing the sides of it. The lack of air mixed with so much pleasure had your eyes rolling backwards, your mouth hung open as you desperately tried to hold back your orgasm.

“You’re such a good whore. Want to cum with me?”, you nodded embarrassingly quickly and he smirked sinisterly as he watched your body thrash against him. He pulled you back against his chest and thrusted up into you, planning to bury his seed as deep as he can inside of you. His arms wrapped around you to keep you still as you both came.

The warmth exploded into your body, coating your walls and cervix in white. You looked down as he pulled out and there was indeed a bump there where his cum stuck.

“Holy shit”, you wheezed once his hand was off your throat and he laughed before kissing all over your neck and shoulder. His hands occupied themselves with untying your ankles and you were thankful for it, the skin there swollen and red from the rope burn.

“Are you okay?”, Seonghwa asked softly as he looked down at the masterpiece you two had created together. Your body shape was imprinted as the background with drops everywhere of almost every color imaginable. It was gorgeous.

“Amazing”, you reassured and offered him a weak smile, wrapping your arms around him as your mixed cum leaked out of you and onto his thighs and the canvas. It just seemed to deep into the canvas too and replace the colors with what looked to be the white of the background.

“I’m definitely hanging this up in the lobby”, your hands immediately whacked his chest in protest and you shook your head.

“No you are fucking not”.

You stared gobsmacked at the sight of the painting in the lobby.

“You’re an asshole”, you huffed as you turned around to greet your soulmate. His hands wrapped around your waist and kissed you softly despite your sarcastic protests.

“I know. I’m your asshole though”, he smiled into the kiss and your heart felt off. It didn’t swell with joy like it usually did.

You opened your eyes after you pulled away and there was just dullness. No vibrant red walls. No blue sky outside. No abstract fucking painting.

Just black and white.

“What’s wrong?”, you looked at him and his own eyes looked around, trying to make sense of what was happening.

“Look away”, he gently ordered you and you nodded, turning your back to him.

“It’s back!”, he exclaimed and you excitingly turned around only to continue seeing black and white.

“Turn away”, this time he obeyed and color rushed into your world again, but it only made the world seem more broken.

“Seonghwa... it’s back. It only comes back when we see each other”, your heart broke as you realized what was happening.

Oh, fuck you universe.

“We have to choose. Color or each other”, you had heard of this happening before in an article but it was rare. Well, soulmates were rare as they were but this? This was rarer than most genetic illnesses.

“No, we can have both, baby”, he held your hands and squeezed them but you felt so empty now when you didn’t see the beautiful coffee brown that filled his eyes or the brightness of his teeth when he smiled.

“You’re an artist, Seonghwa. Your most popular works are in color now. You can’t let go of that”, you shook your head and stepped back, turning your head so you were no longer looking at him.

The sound of his familiar gasp as all the colors of life flooding his system only added to your despair. It was true.

“I love you. I’m sorry”, you left the studio before he could stop you, jogging outside to your car. You couldn’t deal with this. You wouldn’t let him give up his career for you.

“I love you too...”, he whispered as he watched you drive off, the screeching of the wheels making his body shake as tears ran down his face.

He’s realizing that without the colors, he was just the artist in love with chaos.

Without colors, maybe you don’t really love him.

Solemnly, Seonghwa turns back around and looks at the painting on the wall covered in the love you two made.

Then, he ripped it off the wall and tore it to shreds.

[ptitelidio]

Secret Mission in Marley:

Involving: Petra Ral and Levi Ackerman.

Summary: the scene takes place when the survey corps infiltrated Marley undercover some years after Eren and his friends reached the sea. In this version, the special operations squad (or Levi squad) didn’t die and won against the female titan, the major difference is that Levi isn’t their captain and squad leader. It is instead Petra squad; she is a veteran soldier whereas Levi is an Eldian from Marley living in the continent. The humanity’s strongest soldier in Paradis is Mikasa Ackerman whereas the humanity’s strongest warrior in Marley is Levi Ackerman. They didn’t know each other until the survey corps leader Hanji Zoë sent their best hope to infiltrate the Marleyan recruits, Petra Ral.

Point of view: Petra’s.

-> Italic font = flashback

PS: I drew something for one specific moment, hope you’ll like it!

Hanji sent me a letter yesterday, they said it’s important to remember who we really are. I think she is right; identity is the exact reason for which the human VS titan war began a long time ago. To know who we are, where we belong, and where we go makes the difference to such a point that people are ready to die for it.

War is awful. And yet, here we are. Repeating the same old mistakes again and again. I should say that Hanji’s opinion is incredibly brave, I saw them overworking to prevent direct conflict, they always preconized discussion. Unfortunately, it’s not the most common opinion, it’s so much easier to give in to fear. That’s why Hanji sent me here, in Marley, I have to find a way to stop that war. I know it’s not a one-person job but little by little, step by step we will find a solution. I’m looking forward for a bright future.

I remember the very first time I came here in Marley, we were all startled. We saw things we never could have imagined in Paradis. It was a brand-new world full of possibilities or that’s what I thought because I learned that even here terror was reigning. I fully experienced it when I joined the Marleyan warriors two months ago, it was very complicated to make me enter but Hanji managed to get an accomplice from the new Eldian Resistance Group and with their help I could join the recruits with a yellow armband. Soon enough I got to get along with Marleyan and honorary Marleyans, they were not that different from us. We had the same dreams, the same histories, we were human after all regardless our origins. However, this was something Marleyan people couldn’t accept for many reasons… the main being power.

I didn’t think my life would change briskly but it did happen. One of the nine original titan owner died, he was named Porco Galliard and I was selected to inherit his titan overnight, it was 2 weeks ago. The jaw titan. It was one honorary Marleyan Captain who handpicked me, Levi Ackerman. He has that peculiar expressionless face you can’t forget for sure. The thing I noticed about him is that he wears a red armband which means he’s also a titan shifter. But which one I still don’t know. I remember what he said back then to his higher up when he pointed his finger at me

“I want her in my team. I think she is able to get Galliard’s titan.”

I remember how the man he was talking to didn’t argue and congratulated me for my efforts. After handshaking, I experienced one of the most traumatic thing in my life which was to eat someone as a titan. That’s when Captain Ackerman kind of took care of me when I joined his team.

Thanks to this, I was becoming even closer to my goal even if it meant deceiving him and the other people I met, I had no choice; my fate was already decided, and I couldn’t give it up right now.

“That’s weird.”

“Uh? What are you talking about, Captain?” I answered.

“You seem pretty quiet today, that’s not like yours. You’re usually such a crappy chatterbox.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“Well…”

The thing is, I just remembered the first time we walked here together. The situation was… a mess, actually he nearly discovered who I really was.

As we were taking a strolling together in city, I couldn’t resist observing everything around me to the point it got suspicious. It was my first time in here. Liberio was lively, and people were preparing the fair looking forward the head of the Tybur family speech in a few days.

I didn’t notice at first, but I felt Levi’s glare on me as if he were thinking of something about me. I should say ever since I entered his team, he’s been keeping an eye on me as if he suspected something, but I hope I’m just being paranoiac. The second following that mere thought happened to answer to my question.

Without the time to think, I was carried away in a narrow street, Levi blocked me against the wall holding a knife at my neck. Was he… intimidating me?

“Okay ginger, you’re gonna tell me every single thing about you.” He said with a threatening voice.

“Eh… I mean… if you want to get to know me better… there are other ways… you know…” I nervously laughed. I was totally in distress because I knew he knew something but I couldn’t… no I didn’t want to admit it.

“Don’t play dumb with me… who are you? I’ve been watching your awkward behavior.” he kept asking.

“I’ll tell you if you promise to not kill me.”

“Why would I f*ucking do that? To leave you wandering around with bad intentions. No way. I could put an end to your life right now and no one would know.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Do you forget I have the jaw titan? Besides, I don’t fear death. You’re too late.”

“Whoever you are, I promise to discover it as soon as possible. Now walk.”

After a moment of reflection, Levi pulled me out of the wall by griping my collar and made me walk toward the principal avenue. He hid his knife from people’s glare pretending to be unharming.

Fortunately that day he spared me… well he never told he knew I was from Paradis, but I still think he keeps suspecting me anyway. Suddenly Captain Levi stops himself and I look back to understand what was going on. Without asking, Levi lifts up my chin and says

“Stop driving attention to us, Eldian”

Eldian? Did he say Eldian? Then… he finally guessed after all. It was useless to deny it right now.

“Y-yes…”

“The way you kept saying “soldier” instead of “warrior” was a hint ya know… but you successfully deceived us all. Congrats.”

“Well… what are you going to do with me now?”

“What am I gonna do of your shitty ass? I really don’t know.” He finally said after a long sigh. As we resumed our little stroll, I couldn’t resist to ask

“You could have denounced me a long time ago. Then why?”

He didn’t answer as if he didn’t know what to say either. But then he lifts up his eyes toward the sky with a pensive expression.

“I actually suspected you from the beginning, but I didn’t want to believe it. Besides, I was the only one. You’re good at it I guess…”