#|| Oh my gods this game has me in chokehold.

[pixelpaladin24]

P: *exists*

Me:

[robyntherav3n]

the guilty gear to blazblue pipeline is real

it was inevitable wasn’t it

[bandittheguy]

so erm guess who finished watching mouthwashing its okay…cough..COUGHOCUHHCGDHGDLOOKATTHETAGSCOUGHCOUCGCHC

[captainyaps]

Getting the ‘what am I to you zagreus?’ Dialogue from Thanatos is my fucking ROMAN EMPIRE because this is what ive been WAITING FOR THIS WHOLE TIME AHAHAHAHA WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

[princekirijo]

Sorry for the Elden Ring spam this game has just consumed my entire being

[the-aceinator]

Basically, I am a menace.

[hanaasbananas]

9 of your favourite tv shows

tagged by @queer-cosette

tagging @thesamestarlight @2manyfandoms2count @omnishamblegreg and anyone else who wants a go

[holytrickster]

honestly i get embarrassed i don't have like. a single other interest I'm as into because i just know everyone around me is probably sick of it

[engstlersbueckers]

E. Engstler NSFW Alphabet

A/N: Haven’t seen anyone do this yet. lets mix it up.lmk what ya think and apologies for any mistakes!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

She’s an angel when it comes to aftercare.Asking multiple times if she was too rough with you and no matter how much you insist you can do it on your own,she always cleans you up. “Uh uh. You stay right here I got it baby.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Emily’s an ass girl. I said wtf I said. She’s always grabbin on your ass. Loves rubbing it when you’re cuddling and dont get me started on when she’s fucking you from behind. The sound your ass makes when she’s hittin it from the back drives her crazy. As for you,her hands(quite literally) have a chokehold on you. All she’s gotta do is move her hands in a certain way and your mind just fixates on it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She’s addicted to making you cum. She wont stop until you’re gushing all over her fingers,tongue,strap,etc. Your taste is something she can’t live without.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory,)

She’s not really super secretive about what she wants to do with you. If it’s something she wants to try she’s gonna tell you straight up.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh she definitely knows what she’s doing. The best sex you’ve ever had in your life was from her. The way she fucks is unique,but she can lay it down like her strap is attached to her body.

F=Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy. Like i said a few letters ago she loves the feeling of your ass bouncing against her.And in doggy,she can still get up in your ear and talk to you,pull your hair,and reach around and play with your clit all she wants.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Not much laughing during the act but afterwards she’ll have you cracking up. Usually saying something dumb like “I hope I wont lookin’ at you all crazy I was really into it.”

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

She always says “The only hair you’re gonna find is on my head” so do with that what you will.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You mean everything to her so she fucks you like it. She takes her time to warm you up before she even takes off her own clothes.When she’s putting her strap in you, she holds you really close and kisses you while she slides it in. “There it is…That’s my fuckin’ girl.So pretty for me.”

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She doesn’t touch herself much. Maybe on certain occasions like an away game she’ll call you and you get off together. But not much other than that. She has great self control.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She’s pretty big on asphyxiation. She loves to choke you. Especially if you’re in front of a mirror,she loves seeing your eyes glaze over in the reflection and feeling how tight you get when she does it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Yall have pretty much done it all over the apartment. But her personal favorite is in the shower.The warm water running down your bodies while you kiss and touch all over each other,the way she presses you against the shower door. Theres something about it thats so hot to her.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The sounds you make get her so riled up,but it’s one particular sound you make every time she hits your g-spot,it almost bottoms her out she loves it so much.“Oh my god,fuck. Make that noise again baby,I love it.”

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything either of you are uncomfortable with you wont do.Pretty straightforward.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She loves giving you head.Every single time she does you damn near have to push her off you to get her to stop. The sensation of her piercings just intensifies it too.So anytime shes licking up your slit,or sucking your clit you can feel them<3

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely depends on the mood. If you’re feeling really intimate,she’ll fuck you nice and slow and deep. Taking her time to fill you up to the hilt. But when she’s angry or really fired up,it’s game over for you.She’ll have your eyes in the back of your head within seconds. Just pounding away at you like you’re her favorite sex toy.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

There’s not really much time in either of your schedules for quickies so you don’t really do them often. Unless it’s right before a date or an important event and you have some time to kill.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Both of you agreed to be pretty open minded with a lot of things,including things that involve your sex life.So she’s almost always down for experimenting.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Baby,she’s an athlete. She can go for however long she pleases. She even teases you about being able to keep up after a couple rounds. “No way you’re tappin’ out on me already? C’mon gimme one more.”

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Most of the toys that you own she uses them on you. Of course you can use them whenever you want but she prefers to help you out. Like if its a vibrator she’ll sit you between her legs and keep it right on top of your clit while she teases your breasts and talks you through it.“I know…I know baby. You’re doing so good for me. Makin’ me so proud.”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She loves teasing you. When she does it she’ll do something real subtle like “accidentally” resting her hand waay too close to your inner thigh. Then when you call her out she’ll play dumb.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She’s more of a talker than anything.But she prefers when you’re the one getting loud for her. “Dont cover your fuckin’ mouth lemme hear it. Let everyone know whos fuckin’ the shit out of this pussy.”

W = Wild card (a random

headcanon for the character)

Okay..personally I feel like she’s really into phone sex. Like i feel like a broken record when i say that she loves being verbal with you. And she thinks it’s so hot that she has the power to get you off even when you’re miles away from each other. Of course she’ll always leave you anticipating what she’s gonna do to you when she comes back. “Hope you don’t have anything planned cuz once I get home I’m tearin’ that pussy up.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

She’s not on some wimpy dick shit. When she says she’s packing,she doesn’t just mean there’s a strap in her pants. That thing got some size to it. Her biggest one she has in “the shoebox” is an 8 inch. (It’s also your personal favorite :) )

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

She can be hard to read sometimes,but when her sex drive is high,you can tell because she gets really handsy. Not just the usual touching but she’s constantly grabbing your ass ,kissing all over your neck,she can just be straight up pussywhipped sometimes.

A/N:Yay you made it to the end!! This is my first ever time writing one of these so I really hope you liked it. If you have any requests my inbox is always open. I love youu<3

-S🩷

[inuyashaluver]

Can you do something about niamh charles captaining the chelsea game please :)

oh captain - niamh charles

niamh charles x reader

description: in which your girlfriend learns a new fact about you, one she wouldn’t let you forget anytime soon

warnings: suggestive

a/n: niamhy has me in a chokehold, thank you so much for the request, captain niamh is mwah, ily and enjoy!!

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you and your girlfriend, niamh, knew everything about each other. it wasn’t even an exaggeration, niamh was your lifelong childhood friend that you grew up with.

there wasn’t a minute where the two of you weren’t glued together and your closeness proved that.

that’s why it was so shocking for niamh when she figured out your weakness. the armband.

—

you and niamh met in school, stuck together from the time you were both 8. you were both relatively quiet and gravitated towards each other to separate from the chaos of everyone else.

it had been like that ever since, even the smallest bit of distance proving difficult for the both of you.

niamh was the one that actually got you into football, you always watched her practice and the girl would beg you to be an attacker just so she could get better.

you both quickly realised you were actually good and when you went to your family saying you were playing football with your best friend, they were pleasantly surprised.

little did everyone know how successful you and that special someone would be in the future.

there was always awareness for the two of you that you liked each other. everyone could feel the undeniable tension when the two of you would shamelessly flirt until you two got too shy and had to stop, only to pick it up a couple minutes later.

and so, at 18, niamh asked you to be her girlfriend during your weekly friday movie night.

“hiya” niamh smiles when you open the door, pulling you into a bear hug that nearly had you toppling over. “hi, niamhy” you giggle, giving her a gentle squeeze before dragging her inside.

“thief, i was looking for this,” niamh laughs, her hand coming up to tug the bottom hem of the hoodie you were wearing, her gaze lingering on your pink cheeks fondly.

“you left it here, so technically it’s my property” you say cheekily, pulling niamh by the hand to sit beside you on the couch. niamh laughs brightly, shaking her head amusingly as you smirk at her.

you both sit, fluffy blankets immediately envelope you and niamh, thighs brushing together gently as you sat beside her.

“your name is charles, then? something you’re not telling me?” niamh traces her finger over her last name on your back before she nudges your shoulder with hers, you giggle, nudging her shoulder back,

“hm, maybe we’re secretly related?” you tease, “oh god, i hope not” she breathes out, looking over at you and patting your thigh so you’d make eye contact.

the way she was looking at you made you feel incredibly nervous, her blue eyes boring into yours.

“well i was going to ask you to be my girlfriend tonight so not ideal if you’re a family member, gorgeous” niamh says simply, watching as your eyes widen in shock with a smile playing at your lips.

“what?” you try hard not to smile, clearly failing at the bright grin that takes over your features. “do you see my predicament? i really want to ask” she chuckles, smiling at you gently as you comprehend what was happening.

you take a deep breath, launching forward to pull her into a kiss, she gasps against your mouth, no ounce of hesitation showing as she moves her lips in sync with yours.

you smile against each other during the kiss, niamh’s hands cupping your cheeks while yours rested on the base of her neck, both of you gently running your thumbs over the skin.

niamh pulls away slightly breathless, smiling at you brightly, “is that a yes then?” she mocks, “hard no” you tease her, making her pull you towards her again for another kiss.

this one was much more passionate than the first. she pulls away again barely, “now?” the word brushing against your lips, “try again” you whisper, she pulls you into another kiss, one that made you feel light headed, feeling like if you stood you’d fall to the ground.

you pull away with a quick peck, “it was a yes the first time” you giggle, niamh gives you a firm kiss, “i know, baby”

—

you and niamh both played together at liverpool before the transfer to chelsea, the two of you unstoppable on the pitch. you and niamh expected the best from each other, the two of you asking for constant feedback to push harder.

you and niamh obviously had a lot on your shoulders but the only people you wanted to impress was each other, the giddy feeling of pride for one another feeling like a drug you both couldn’t drop.

niamh would be the first one to you when you’d get a goal, sweeping you up in a tight hug and kissing your cheek repeatedly.

“you’re perfect” niamh grins, her lips still lingering on your cheek as she pulled you to her, you tuned out everyone else in the group hug, the only arms you felt around you were your girlfriend’s.

whenever niamh would tackle someone well, her eyes would drift to you almost immediately, looking for your little nod or smile of approval, only pushing to get it again. she turned into putty around you, collapsing in your arms after each match with a homely smile.

“you played so well, my love” you grin, giving her a quick kiss before her face tucks into where your shoulder meets your neck. “you too, baby, almost too good” she’d tease, her arms wrapped tightly around you afraid you’d disappear anytime soon.

it was well known niamh was the clingier one in your relationship. not saying you weren’t because you most definitely were addicted to niamh, but this girl had to be touching you whenever she could.

you both got teased about it but it didn’t phase you, your solidarity with each other offering comfort that nothing else could.

—

you two still had your dedicated friday’s to your movie nights (like you didn’t have one almost every night). you were flat on your back while niamh lay on top of you, melting into your body when your hands raked through her hair, the gentle scratch of your nails against her scalp making it almost impossible to move.

you both had a game tomorrow and niamh insisted that you both had adequate rest before the match tomorrow.

niamh nuzzled into you gently, sighing happily when you placed a gentle kiss on her hairline.

“kill me now and i’d be okay with it” niamh moves her head to kiss your sternum before moving up slightly so her face could hover above yours.

“who would help me hide the body?” you smile up at her, tucking her hair behind her ear. niamh thought about it for a moment, almost too seriously, “well i would do it the best so maybe not” she teases, kissing you gently, you laugh against her lips.

“you’re so silly” you smile, she playfully bites the side of your neck, “you love it” she mocks, her hand running down your arm slowly until her hand interlaced with yours.

she hovers over you when you don’t respond, giving you a challenging expression until you laughed, “mhm, i do” you nod, giving her hand a gentle squeeze as you other one rests on her waist.

“ready for tomorrow?” she questions, moving to lay on her side next to you, prompting you to do the same, your hands interlaced in the middle of you.

“it’s just a regular game, just a little nervous” you shrug, your eyes tracing every detail of her face, making her stomach flip no matter how long you’d been together.

“you’re not getting lazy are you, baby?” she teases, you roll your eyes fondly, “never, love” you smile, puckering your lips for niamh to give you a kiss that she happily gave you.

you both chatted back and forth with the gentle hum of the movie filling the rest of the air, both of your attention solely focused on each other.

niamh knew she was captain for tomorrow, for the first time ever. she was about to tell you then and there because she received the text when you were in the shower but it slipped her mind once she started kissing you. you were always one to distract her.

—

the next day, you were weary of niamh’s sudden excitement, her being the one to drag you out of bed with a bunch of kisses distributed around your face and your lips.

she drove to the stadium excitedly, her hand gently squeezing your thigh every couple of seconds. you were truly confused, this match was important but not one that would have her reacting like this. she was up to something and you were gonna get to the bottom of it.

when you both made it to the change rooms, niamh pushed you towards aggie, making you fall into the blonde’s arms while niamh ran off to her cubby.

you didn’t see her hide the armband in her boot, making it look like she was just double checking everything when you looked at her in shock after recovering from falling.

you narrow your eyes at her when she approached, your arms crossed over your chest as you met in the middle.

“hi, gorgeous” niamh says smugly, holding her arms out to you and frowning when yours stayed crossed. “you’re up to something and i don’t like it, niamh”

a little pout was evident on your face, your eyebrows furrowed at niamh’s behaviour. “baby” niamh sings out, her hands moving to grip your hips as she pulled you a little closer.

“you’re so lucky i love you, niamh charles, honestly” you point out, making the taller girl grin and squeeze your hips gently. “i love you too, beautiful” she cheeses out, “don’t be mad” she teased, her arms wrapping around you to pull you into a hug.

you really tried to stay firm with her, still not understanding why she was being so secretive but niamh always managed to pull you out of an angry mood. she presses a kiss to your cheek, “you can’t stay mad at me forever, babe” kissing your cheek again, pulling you closer.

“niamhy” you groan before you break out into a smile, “stop it, i’m angry” you attempt to push her away but she only grips you tighter, her lips pressing against yours.

on instinct, your arms wrap around her neck and pull her closer, making her grin against you knowing you cracked, you pull away with a glare, “shut up” you grit, “okay” she grins, capturing your lips in another quick kiss before you both began to get ready for the match.

you were ready first, going to the mirror to do your final touches and came back to a sight for sore eyes.

there stood your girlfriend, looking beautiful as usual in her kit but something was different. a neon yellow band hugging her bicep with a big ‘C’ printed on it.

your breath hitched, you and niamh just looking at each other. your eyes dart around her body, taking in her appearance before settling back on the band. your mouth opened to say something but nothing came out.

niamh had a shit eating grin on her face, trying not to laugh at your reaction. “you alright?” she laughs, walking a little closer to you. you genuinely felt like you couldn’t breathe, not understanding why this was so mind boggling to you.

you weren’t sure how it was possible but she was even more attractive, the band giving her a confidence that was incredibly overwhelming and just overall jaw dropping.

you couldn’t even look her in the eye, suddenly going shy when she got close to you, seeing the way the band fit so well against her bicep.

“you’re captain?” you breathe out, eyes still trained on the band. “yes i am” she grins, her hand gripping your chin and tilting it upwards to meet your gaze.

“why are you all shy?” she teases, her other hand resting on your hip. “i’m not” you scoff, but your pink cheeks said otherwise. “sure you’re not, baby” she smiles, clearly enjoying this.

feeling a little brave, your hand made its way to her bicep, your thumb brushing over it with wide pupils.

“you look so good” you blurt out, almost regretting it knowing how much it would inflate her ego.

“who knew you’d like this so much” niamh says cheekily, watching as you gripped her bicep tighter. “calm down, charlsey” you grin, your free hand moving to the back of her neck to pull her into a kiss.

niamh could tell what you were feeling, the butterflies in your stomach clearly making its way into your kisses because it spread to her. you were both so giddy about this, you loving niamh in it and niamh loving your reaction.

“we need to line up” niamh pulls away, “your captain says so” she smiles, you couldn’t control the little noise that came out from the back of your throat, niamh was riling you up and you knew it.

although, clearly it was working because you couldn’t keep your hands off her.

“one more” you whine, pulling her into another kiss as you both neared the tunnel, “baby,” she breathes out against your lips, “they’re waiting” you kiss her again,

“don’t. care” you say between kisses, your hand planted on niamh’s cheek while the other roamed her left arm, squeezing the yellow cuff sitting there.

she grabs your face in between her hands, kissing you quickly before grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the tunnel. your hand didn’t let go of hers when she led you to your spot.

you give her a pleading expression, she shakes her head fondly, a quick peck placed on your lips before she puts some distance between you. she would give into you in a heartbeat and conditions weren’t exactly ideal.

“later” she says firmly, squeezing your hand and walking to the front of the line. your heart eyes were evident from your spot, watching niamh’s every move as she talked to her mascot, she was the only one with one and it only made things worse for you. she was killing you. and she knew it. she loved it.

—

the game progresses, both you and niamh playing extremely well, managing to get yourself a goal. and when the celebration came, you smiled brightly at niamh before your eyes fell to the armband.

when she pulled you into a tight hug, she chuckled, kissing your cheek repeatedly with words of praise spilling from her mouth.

you were bright red when she pulled away, watching as she threw you a cheeky wink before she ran back to her position.

after the game was over, you both did your laps of signatures and photos, waiting for niamh as she pulled for interviews.

when she was done, she walked over to you painfully slowly and as soon as she was in reach, you dragged her into the darkness of the tunnel again, your lips finding her in an instant.

“why couldn’t i be captain earlier? look at you” she whines, the words quickly cut off with your lips pressed on hers again. you pull away breathlessly, your cheeks pink as you looked at her, feeling like you’ve kissed her for the first time.

you pull her down slightly so her ear was next to your mouth, “can you bring this home?” your hand snapping the band against her skin, making her jolt lightly.

she nods, kissing the tip of your nose with a smile. “i already had a spare one in my bag” she grins, running off to the showers to get you home as quickly as possible.

let’s just say, that armband has more positives than anything.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆ ★ ⋆

you know the drill, just pretend it’s you xx

liked by aggiebjones and 44,232 others

niamhcharles17: my fav girl with her fav thing in the world

view all comments

yourname: my fav girl

↳ niamhcharles17: tell everyone your fav thing

↳ yourname: no

niamhcharles17: @/yourname loves me in this armband

↳ yourname: traitor

↳ niamhcharles17: hottie

↳ yourname: what?

↳ niamhcharles17: what?

[ifyoucandaniel]

exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)

cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.

Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.

buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))

Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!

Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!

Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️

If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3

The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family

The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-

something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3

catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!

hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend (Astarion x GN! Reader)

  This man has a chokehold on me and I have been plagued by this idea for about a week.

Title inspired by the song "i wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red

CW: Mentions of violence and gore (not descriptive), bit of angst, comfort

(Not my photo. I believe it belongs to Daily Gaming)

Synopsis- You and Astarion are in the middle of a war to prove who can set the best traps. However, a lack of rules seems to have gotten you into a predicament neither one of you had anticipated.

Sometimes you take it a smidge too far. 

 You would love to tell people you are some cunning, daring rogue, but the reality is that you are consistently flying by the seat of your pants. Occasionally it works really well- this was not one of those times.

    You never felt the need to prove anything to anyone.

Well, until you met Astarion. Within the first three days of traveling with him, your confidence and patience began to wear thin. He would make snide comments when watching you attempt to unlock a chest or when you scare off your prey by tripping over a bush. Then he would smirk at you- with that stupid, beautiful smirk.

He enjoys adding salt to the wound by taking on the task you failed at; usually lock picking, sneak attacks, and Gods only knows what else he could make fun of you for. You are very aware that you are not some fancy rogue and it never bothered you until now. You had accepted long ago that you are just a street urchin moving up in the world after teaching yourself the trade.

  The final straw had been when you had placed traps to catch dinner. Your traps had been successful (naturally- traps were your thing) and you brought back three bunnies for Gale’s stew.

Oh, but of course Astarion had something to say. He always has something to say.

  “Oh look at that- how cute. I’m sure sheerluck was on your side,” he quips, “You’ll get better eventually.”

 Thus began the war of all wars.

It started with small traps- nuisances really. Tripwire, a laughing or sleep rune well hidden, and traps that release horrible smells. Then it quickly took a turn for the worst; what were once harmless pranks turned into trip wires that release a swarm of bees, simple pits began to get deeper, and blasting traps that would send either one of you flying into a nearby object. It was never truly life threatening, just questionable.

  Well, except for the bees. The bees were not the greatest thought in hindsight; considering both you and Astarion had to help each other with the bee stings- Shadowheart refusing to be involved. You both laughed and he even complimented you on your cleverness. You swore you could have exploded in that moment.

   You have a massive, childish crush on the man and maybe the competition was your subconscious way of getting closer to him. However, your other companions were getting sick of it pretty quickly. 

  They had all hoped after the Tiefling party that the two of you would put your silly competition to rest so that you could all travel together in peace and they would just have to deal with PDA.

What a silly thing for them to think. PDA hasn't happened, but the pranks did become less risky and less frequent.  You were okay with this change.

   You feel like you and Astarion have become close friends. Even though your tryst didn’t lead to a romantic relationship as you had hoped, you were happy to have Astarion in your life in any capacity. If that was just as a friend- then so be it. 

  Which brings us back to the beginning- when you realize that your ‘trap war’ had paper thin rules and the lack of rules just might be the thing that actually kills you on this journey.

  All you wanted to do was clean yourself off. It had been one last relaxing day before you set off to the Creche, but you had thought you might treat yourself. Baths were rare and far between these days and you want to enjoy it while you have it. However, you were not planning for a simple snare trap to foil your entire evening. 

  You get hoisted up into the air, slammed against the tree, and drop all of your belongings- including the knife you brought ‘just incase’. You glared at the knife and put your hand to your blood fountain of a nose.

 “Traitor,” you whisper with a pout as you look for a way to escape the trap.

  Suddenly, you freeze as instincts kick in. You hear the Gnolls before you see them. Your bloody nose from the impact of the tree had led them to you. They attempt to claw at you- trying to rip you down from the tree. You feel their claws tear into your back, the side of your arms, and one of them even manages to take a swipe at your abdomen as you scramble to escape. The cuts weren't life threatening, but they hurt. A LOT.

  You manage to use the rope to pull yourself up onto one of the tree limbs; allowing you to hide some of your body from the Gnolls, but you now have an arrow protruding out of your right thigh so obviously that isn’t working well either.

  You bite back tears, frozen in fear. You really did not want to die this way and you certainly didn’t want it to be because of Astarion’s trap. You have a feeling he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. 

  You can imagine the blame and anger the rest of your companions would direct at him if the worst happened. You imagine the bloodshed- knowing full well that everyone (minus Karlach) would not forgive him for accidentally killing you. Lae’zel would be the first one to put a stake in his chest- her fondness for you is no secret. 

   Your heart thumps painfully at that thought and your resolve hardens. You will not die because you will not let that happen to Astarion. 

 You look around, your arms and legs shaking still with the residual shock and fear. You look for any sharp branches, a forgotten knife lodged somewhere, or even something you could cast a cantrip on to distract them. You have no such luck. 

 You resign yourself to your fate- the tears making a reappearance. 

 Unless one of your companions finds you first- you are going to either have to wait for the Gnolls to get bored and leave or they are going to kill you.

You pray to every God you can think of that you will survive the night.

_________________________________________________

 Astarion is trying to not look so desperate as he reads the first page for the hundredth time. 

  You had walked off a little over two hours ago- Lae’zel is on watch while the rest of your companions sleep soundly in their bed rolls. 

 The longer your bedroll remains empty, the more the pit grows in his stomach.

He didn’t know how to navigate your relationship after the tiefling party.

His feelings for you are confusing. The sex had felt different, he enjoys your company immensely, and he likes how warm he feels around you.

Instead of talking to you like a normal person or taking a moment to reflect, he decided to find some common ground- something you could laugh and talk about later. Normalcy.

He set up a snare trap close to the river you were all using to clean off and then a laughter rune trap somewhere on the path to the Creche. Hypothetically, they are very safe traps.

Unless he rigged them wrong? What if you ran into one of them and….

  No, I am sure they are just fine.

 He doesn’t even believe his own lie.

After about another five minutes, the anxiety rolling in his stomach becomes unbearable so he grabs his daggers and sets off in the direction you had gone two hours earlier.

  He walks quickly through the forest, checking his surroundings and looking for evidence that you were close by. As the minutes pass, he feels the hope of finding you safe shrink.

The wind hits his nose and he becomes stock-still.

He smells your blood- an alarming amount of it-in the air as he gets closer to the river. He fears the worst as he goes to look at the trap- hoping you will forgive him- that you are alive. Safe.

 He peers through the bushes and his eyes grow wide as the scene before him unfolds. 

  You are stuck up in the tree- his trap is still around your ankle. You are holding onto the branch like your life depends on it. It probably does since there are five Gnolls circling the tree like vultures.

  He can hear your soft broken sobs as arrows fly over you or hit the tree. He notices the arrow in your leg and watches as a second one lodges itself into your calf. You wince and close your eyes tightly- unknown to you that Astarion’s vision is clouded in red and his whole body fills with destructive, hot rage. He also feels fear, but he pushes it away, not ready to explore the why. 

  He lunges forward, slashing at the Gnolls with so much force that they are practically in half by the time they hit the forest floor. He is a man possessed as he carves his way through all five gnolls and then he climbs up the tree to you. 

His chest aches as he looks at you. He will never be able to forgive himself for causing you so much suffering.

  “Darling,” he says softly.

    You whimper in response and when you look at him- he feels all the air leave his lunges. If he needed air, he would have passed out right then. Your eyes were glassy with traces of fear, sadness, and loneliness- all emotions he is all too familiar with. Then you see it’s him and the biggest smile crosses your lips and you look at him with so much affection he almost feels ill. This was not the plan and he almost made you a midnight snack for a group of Gnolls.

  “You found me,” you say in a raspy, raw voice, “I thought I was going to be stuck here all night until Karlach or Gale found me. Or I was going to die.”

 You chuckle, but Astarion can’t get himself to share your same enthusiasm about his rescue mission as he cuts the rope. 

  He helps you down the tree and safely back on the ground. Astarion winces as you pull the arrows out of your leg. You find a healing potion amongst your things and chug it.

He collects your stuff for you. You give him another one of those brilliant smiles and Astarion tries to smile just as brightly back. You furrow your brows, but he turns away before you can keep analyzing him. 

  “We should head back,” Astarion mumbles.

______________________________________________

  The silence hangs in the air as Astarion walks with you back to camp. After about 15 minutes, you are back at camp and the tension in the air is suffocating.

 “Astarion.”

  Astarion freezes, turns on his heels, and looks everywhere but your eyes. He couldn’t bare to see you smile at him again- look at him like that again- not after he almost killed you.

  You maneuver yourself so you are looking in his eyes.

 “It’s not your fault,” he begins to protest when you shush him, “we didn’t set any rules and the trap itself was harmless. We didn't account for Gnolls when we started this whole thing.”

  “I almost got you killed.”

 “But you didn’t. It easily could have been you in that situation and me saving you.”

  “Will you please stop being so Gods damn forgiving,” he huffs with exasperation as he feels tears prick his eyes, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I put your life in danger. I almost-”

 Lost you. He chokes on the words. The fear from earlier begins to come back to the front of his mind. Watching you cling to that tree, crying, and in pain had made him realize that you just might be more important to him than he cares to admit. However, that’s a conversation for another time- once he sorts out what that feeling in his chest is whenever he looks at you.

  You look at him sharply, your eyes raw with sadness, “Stop that right now. I am okay. I lived. It was a mistake and I know your intentions were not bad. You don’t have anything to worry about Star.” 

He doesn’t say anything and you hang your head.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I- I should go-“ Astarion pauses as you interrupt him.

“Please don’t leave,” you whisper, “I rather enjoy your company.”

  You look at him with tears welling in your eyes. He stares at you in stunned silence, searching your face for any sign of deception, but he doesn't find it. His body moves before his brain can process what he is doing. 

 Astarion gently cradles your face in his hands and kisses you slowly, softly. He smiles despite himself when a gasp leaves your lips. You're alive and safe. When the warmth in his chest begins to spread throughout the rest of his body, he pulls away and steps back. Your face is flushed, a beautiful blush spreading across your cheeks. You look at him with wide, unblinking eyes before you shyly smile. Astarion could have melted in that moment. He finds himself smiling too.

 “Well I’m assuming that means you are going to stay?” 

  “I suppose I’ll stay,” he says while tapping his chin, “you do need someone to make sure you aren’t getting into trouble like that again.”

 You feign hurt and scoff, “Are you suggesting that this was my fault?”

 “Maybe if you were better with traps that wouldn’t have happened,” Astarion teases.

  You narrow your eyes at Astarion and you try to hold back a smile. You roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him.

You start towards camp before you pause and turn around. Astarion gives you a confused look.

You run over to him and place a kiss on his cheek. He tenses for a moment before relaxing again. You look at him sweetly, a soft smile on your lips.

 “Good night Astarion.”

  As you saunter towards your respective tents, Astarion takes one last glance at your tent- at you- before he lays down with his book. Except he still can’t get past the first page- he is too anxious for the sun to come up so that he can see your smile again.

[mango-yoyo]

you have really good taste in fanfics in the tag game so was wondering if you would mind sharing so more of your favourites?

oh my god YES

i would love to thank you for asking <3

because i have no self control, i'm going to restrict myself to 3 5 10

1. the condominium community committee by @jusst-you-race . it's funny, it's light-hearted, and it has all the good feels. honestly it's the chat fic of chat fics, where the grid all lives in the same apartment building and have different lives, but are still super close! if you're feeling a bit down or if you want something fun, this is a great fic to read! status: WIP. word count: 28K+

2. crash landers by @janinaduszejko . carcar omegaverse my beloved, where oscar is an alpha and carlos is (secret) omega. a little bit angsty, a lot bit smutty, and overall delightful. it hurts a little bit, but it feels so good, and there's a happy ending! status: completed. word count: 57K+

3. i’m going back to 505 (if it’s a seven hour flight or a forty five minute drive) by julodinae_sunsets. another omegaverse (my weakness) but this time it's maxiel, where daniel is an alpha and tries to court max by accident, but stops himself because OBVIOUSLY max is an beta and doesn't want that. well. he's wrong. but second chances exist for a reason. it's really enjoyable so far, and it's made me grin stupidly way too many times, so. it's a win! status: WIP. word count: 19K+

4. Don't Want Your Sympathy (Just Your Company) by @1425fivefive . landoscar, where oscar is outed via blurry photos of him kissing another guy at the club. to get his mind off it, lando offers to have him stay at his place for the summer. a very cute teammates to friends to lovers, with a little bit of hurt but a lot of comfort. and smut. also, logan is best friend goals, honestly, and the little pockets of humor make you laugh when you least expect it. status: completed. word count: 64K+

5. Sunlight by @onboardsorasora . an absolutely delightful magical realism au (my other weakness) with a dewis pairing. they're one of the authors that got me into the pairing in the first place! people are touched by the elements in varying degrees. some people aren't touched, while others are touched by rare elements (like sunlight). daniel doesn't think he's touched by any. it's whumpy and a bit angsty but so, so sweet. honestly a lot of fluff too, with a sweet ending. status: completed. word count: 10K+

6. Loud and Clear by @oscatmeowstri . race engineer oscar with driver lando au, landoascar. it was wonderful. the formatting was so cool, and their relationship developed really well, from colleagues(?) to friends to occasional kissing buddies to lovers. some angst, but it's resolved pretty quickly, and there are lot of fluffy moments. status: WIP. word count: 48K+

7. cheap wedding (sticky pretenses) by @wormeo-and-juliette . i know i've mentioned the strollonso work by her before, but this is also so, so good. honestly, all her works have got me in a chokehold. it's lesteban, with a marriage of convenience (that eventual turns into love!). lance shows up in rural France, meets esteban, decides they're both lonely, and proposes marriage. absolutely delightful, and there's even the public coming-out which had me squealing. status: completed. word count: 12K+

8. champagne problems by @brocedesmadhouse . it's a love story to brocedes, and it's beautiful, heart-wrenching, and utterly amazing. toto gets replaced with a new team principal — who happens to be nico rosberg. it's set during the 2024 season, and it made me both cry and laugh — sometimes at the same time. absolutely wonderful. status: completed. word count: 60K+

9. empty streets, it's only you and me now by @the-ships-to-rule-them-all . intriguing and sweet, it's an exploration of Jewish folklore and golems, with sweet, sweet strollonso. lance has a golem, who happens to be incredibly protective of fernando. lance also happens to be in love with fernando. it's very cute and has the perfect plot-to-smut ratio. status: completed. word count: 5K+

10. k19tog (knit 19 together) by @nobrakesdown . really sweet and lovely, it's set in the 2022 season with seblance teammates. lance is a knitter, and seb convinces lance to teach him — and eventually, the rest of the grid. really heartwarming, and it has serious grid-as-family vibes that had me smiling like an idiot when I read it. also got me interested in the fiber arts, and it's really cool! status: completed. word count: 7K+

there are so many more fics that i could rec, but the sake of this post (and my need to study) i will limit it to just 10. please let me know how you like these recs, and feel free to rec for more (and if there are any particular pairings you're looking for)! this was a lot of fun, thanks for asking!

[llilyrose]

Do you have fic recommendations 👉👈

Of course!

I would recommend my own fic, but... it's still in the works, unfortunately. No mal du pays content for the weak and elderly.

did you really think i wouldn't recommend ghostlight, of all things? especially with my current drawing series, obviously it's good!

It's a postgame fic centered on loop's and siffrin's (mostly loop's) healing processes post-game, where loop has to learn how to be human again. It's 24 chapters long, about 84k words, has an ongoing sequel (though it's on hiatus), and has a tumblr account you can interact with! @ghostlightfic

here are some other postgame fic recommendations:

Bloom And if I were not myself, would this be easier?

@livesworthlivingau Is a postgame au where Siffrin lives on for 30 years after the loops only to loop back when Odile dies in the future. This fic has a dual chapter system, one set of chapters that focuses on Loop and one set of chapters that focuses on Siffrin. This distinction becomes crucial later on. It also, like ghostlight, has a discord to join :3

I haven't read chokehold of a broken family bond myself, but I've heard wonderful things about it from everyone around me!!!! It's a LONG, ongoing AU fic that I'm sure someone else can provide a synopsis for ;)

Follow the Stars Back Home is another fic I have yet to read, but got recommended and decided to check out. It's postgame and focuses more on Siffrin's Island trauma than their Looping trauma, a nicher aspect people don't explore often.

speaking of aus:

Try It Again, Cheater by @moonstandardtime sends Loop back to their original timeline after breaking free from Siffrin's loops. They and their family have to adjust to this drastic Change and suffer the consequences of a timeline they could never remember.

To Extend our Reach to the Stars Above is a Villain Siffrin au where they meet the King before the party! It's one of only a few fics that explore this concept, all of which are so so interesting to me. Check it out!

Timeloop Support Group by @pixxyofice is a fic about therapy done from the pov of Siffrin and focuses on timeloop trauma. The twist? The people they're stuck with are au versions of their friends who got trapped in time loops themselves!

featured aus:

In Tales and Time (Odile) by @/tealgoat In Cycles and Cessation (Mira) by @/the-bitter-ocean Of Stitches in Sequence by @/basilpaste (which also has two fics on ao3, but i recommend viewing the au on everyone's profiles instead)

-- Oh, hey, Basilpaste!!! They have more bangers up their sleeve!!!! Slay the Savior is a Slay The Princess fusion au with ISAT that features Isabeau as the protagonist and Siffrin as the princess. Not only is the writing excellent but he thought up new designs for each siffrin on each path!!! Not to mention thinking up new paths, too! It's on hiatus, though.

The Dormont Archives are another Basil product, infusing ISAT into The Magnus Archives universe!! Like STS it's done in the style of the media and all of the statements are absurdly creative. It's ongoing with (currently only) 14 chapters, god knows how many planned for the future. (ALSO IT APPARENTLY HAS A DISCORD. I DIDN'T KNOW AABOUT THAT WHILE WRITING IT. go check out basil they put so much effort into this stuff dude 😭)

I've read SO MANY isat fanfics but the majority of them never got bookmarked. Practically all of the ones on ao3 are a good read!!! It's hard to keep track!!! If i missed any of your favorites fanfics on any website, please tell me please. if I've read it it'll get added to the list.

[crimsonbubble]

2024 has been a jam-packed year of events. I've found myself and lost myself so many times this year, But honestly, those moments led me to this moment—right here, right now. After not writing anything for so long, I found my spark for writing again this year. I’ve gone through god fucking knows how many hyper fixations this year alone. I got back into kpop this year as well; after taking a bit of a hiatus from it for a year or two.

Looking at my tumblr archive is insane. And I think some of you would enjoy seeing the progression into brain rot. So, here we go!

January starts with a continuation of my mortal kombat phase. Seeing the amount of fics I wrote for this media is insane. My 2023 kinktober compared to my 2024 one is a stark contrast. There may also be some COD stuff sprinkled in there as well and honestly, that makes me want to rip my eyes out.

February is still part of the mortal kombat train with some love and deepspace stuff placed here and there. It’s still mainly mortal kombat because that fixation had a very strong chokehold on me.

March is still part of the mortal kombat stuff but with resident evil stuff thrown into the mix too bc re4rm came out. Hints of genshin stuff too. Oh and milkman. March had a lot of little bits and pieces thrown at it. This just shows how versatile my taste in characters is (no, it’s not. Im basic more often than not).

April, aka my birthday month!! Anyways more mortal kombat. Oh yeah, boops were a thing for a day. Ooh, more milkman stuff too.

May was where the clusterfuck of fixations came together. Early May was still mortal kombat, some spiderverse stuff thrown in there as well, some stuff about Midas from fortnite too, some jjk fics and such, etc. Now… May 6th was my first official reblog of ateez content after coming back from my kpop hiatus. It was actually the ‘boyfriend texts w/ jeong yunho’ from @beenbaanbuun !! Then slowly I started reblogging more ateez stuff, both from other writers and my older posts as well. The rest of the month was full of ateez fics and whatnot.

*Side note; May 12th was the start of my return to ateez writing with ‘sweet as sin w/ yunho’

June was filled with only ateez posts and reblogs. By this time I was on summer break so I had a lot of time to myself. A lot of horny reblogs and shitposts.

July has significantly more reblogs and posts than other months bc I’m pretty sure I was really getting back into ateez and stuff and the brain rot was getting worse by the day. Still contains mostly shitposts.

August was when the dilf hongjoong brain rot was in full effect. I also posted some pretty good fics this month too. Such as;

Tempted w/ hongjoong

Helplessly yours w/ san

Head full of stars w/ hongjoong

Blue screen w/ seonghwa

More than money w/ san

Snow kiss w/ hongjoong

Bared teeth w/ hongjoong

Studio rehearsal w/ topaz

A little older w/ hongjoong

Scorched tangerines w/ hongjoong

Candied thorns w/ hongjoong

Guns and tiaras w/ hongjoong

Bitter toppings w/ hongjoong

Pretty boys w/ hongsan

Sweet dressings w/ hongjoong

Pillow covers w/ hongjoong

Blue ribbons w/ hongjoong

The dilf hongjoong brainrot still has not subsided and it has now become a part of me.

September was more reblogs, more shitposts and whatnot. This month includes some fics like;

Video game lover w/ yunho

Shameless kisses w/ hongjoong

Heartbeats and humiliation w/ hongjoong

My comfort is you w/ jongho

Cherry red w/ hongjoong

Rings of temptation w/ mingi

Stitching desire w/ hongjoong

Claiming ground w/ vamp matz

Pull of passion w/ wooyoung

Dilf mingi blurb

Oh and then the suits brainrot came in (still haven't finished the show btw). Plus getting ready for kinktober.

October was kinktober month and let me tell you I loved writing these fics. You can find my complete kinktober list here!! Dilf joong is still keeping me occupied and the fixation is now slightly worse. Oh yeah, silent hill 2 remake came out around this time so I wrote some fics for that too. Pyramid head made a short-lived comeback on my blog with the remake as well as reading some kinktober fics of him too.

November was shitposts upon shitposts. So many horny postings it’s insane. IOMT comeback happened and wreaked havoc across social media platforms. Tumblr atinys were in shambles I can tell you that much.

December was still more horny postings and reblogs. If there’s one thing im good at, it’s reblogging and reposting shit at ungodly hours.

But overall, this year was full of memories. I got to interact with so many amazing writers and readers this year. There were a lot of anons that I got to interact with. I just can’t get over being able to connect with so many wonderful people. I want to say a thank you to everyone who followed me and stayed with me even through the chaos.

To my moots, followers and anyone else who views this post, Happy New Year and I wish all the best for you!!

@hwamphwamp @shinyj3lly @wisejudgedragonhairdo @cookies-n-joong @yun-fangz @autieofthevalley @sugarnspice630 @pirateprincessblog @bombuni @everyonewooeverywhere @kitten4sannie @miyaluvvsyou @linearities

[genderlessjacky]

Dandys world HC because oh my god why does this dumb stupid Roblox game have such a chokehold on me (also these are all pre twisteds and all in Gardenview unless I mention it) (also mostly toodles , Shrimpo and Rodger bc I love them so much you don't even understand right now) 1. Toodles has Puppy Eyes Privilege tm, its VERY effective to like , everyone , including the handlers , MAYBE except Roger but even he fell for it a few times and she MILKS this , examples : Cosmo refuses to give her freshly baked brownies bc they are meant for Sprout? puppy eyes and suddenly she has two and Sprout honestly understands . She wants Glisten to do her makeup but he's busy with the kids? BOOM puppy eyes , suddenly she is all dolled up with glitter all over her . she wants a plush but she already has 20 and her handler said no? one sad pathetic teary eyed look and then BOOM now she has 20 MORE. Rodger is busy having Civil Adult Conversations with Miss Teagun and "no Toodles ,papa is a bit busy to play with you right now-" one big teary eyed look and pouty lip and BOOM , they are BOTH in dresses and now having Non Civil Adult Conversation with Miss sprinkles the unicorn and Queen Kitty of candyland 2. Toodles and Shrimpo are SUCH gremlin youngest and angry older sibling coded . like they will fight each other one minute and mutually share blackmail they have of each Toons the next and Rodger is So Tired. (Also during one of these fights , Toodles 100% used her crotch-punching-height to good use and learns a lot of new words that papa said she was NOT under ANY circumstances allowed to use , people then also learn to be VERY careful around the seemingly harmless child. Toodles also probably has a few of her baby teeth kicked out the second Shrimpo recovered and Doesnt Listen To Papas Advice) despite all this , they would PUNT someone if they talk shi about their sibling you are GONE . Like if anyone bullies toodles you are meeting shrimpo's brick!!! NO ONE bullies toodles except for himself!! same goes for toodles tbh if she heard someone talking shi about her emotional support anger issue ridden shrimp you are getting your ANKLES BITTEN!! but then they attempt to choke eachother out for the last brownie the next minute . again , Rodger is SO Tired 3 . Shrimpo probably knows how to box and tried to teach Toodles that until Rodger intervened when she sucker punched a mean 6 year old in the face bc they said her stuff dog was dumb. Shrimpo still continued teaching her more 4 . Shrimpo has unresolved and unexplained beef with Sprout , and everyone is too afraid to ask 5 . whenever Toodles or Shrimpo like , get in REAL trouble , Rodger would go "TOODLES/SHRIMPO RODGER , GO TO YOUR ROOM" and I think that's really neat actually 6 . Rodgers blood stream is 80% coffee , to the point where his handlers had to stage an intervention 7 . Toodles and Shrimpo share one braincell and the two halves of the braincells are allergic to each other 8 . Toodle unironically says things like : "splendid!" , "delightful" and "Bollocks" bc when you are raised by Rodger how could you not? also Shrimpo does that sometimes and he psychically slaps himself when he says "BUGGER" when yelling at someone. 8.2 . on the same note , Rodger probably has a old man British accent pt 2 because I cant contain my adoration for them in one post