#|| ✧ –––– SHIN RYUJIN –––– ✧ || FEATURING ||

[pupyuj]

→ “dreamlike.” || jang wonyoung x reader fic.

— with your forbidden thoughts and feelings plaguing your head, you failed to do the deed with your crush on a date. and so your stepsister gives you a taste of what you've been craving...

word count: 14.6k.

dynamic: dom!stepsister!jang wonyoung x sub!inexperienced!reader.

content warnings: stepcest, masturbation, mirror sex, unnie kink, praise kink, fingering, edging, voyeurism, exhibitionism (mildly).

requested? : yes!

‼️: this fic features ryujin of itzy as the reader's (second?) love interest!

a/n: i am so glad to tick this off my req checklist omg 😭😭😭 apologies to the anon who requested this months ago, this is for you! from pupyuj many months later 😭💔 i really didn't think i would write over 10k words since i predicted that i would only be writing 7k but i present you guys this big ass meal, i guess... 😭 sorry in advance for this long read but I REALLY HOPE THIS WAS AT LEAST FUN TO READ FOR YA'LL! expect the other requests to come soon 👀

for as long as you’ve known your step sister, which would be two years now, all she has done for you are good things. she helps you around the house, was quick to befriend you and get you comfortable around her father (your stepdad) and herself, made the effort to get along with your mother, and has treated you like family way more than some other immediate blood relatives of yours did. there was no doubt that you couldn’t ask for a better older sister than jang wonyoung, and she continues to prove that the more she hangs out with you!

wonyoung has done a lot of favors for you—some you didn’t even ask for. she didn’t have to make so much time in her schedule just to show you around the city after you and your mother officially moved in with her and her father, but she did. she didn’t have to become your personal campus tour guide when you enrolled at your new college (that she also attended), but she did. she didn’t have to throw a surprise birthday party for you in your first year of being sisters, but she did! you like to tell wonyoung that you would love to give back to everything she has done for you, but she always told you that it wasn’t necessary because she was just fulfilling her role as your older sister.

and today, you just so happen to need her god-given older sister wisdom and guidance… for a cute date! as soon as your crush turned a corner after you’ve agreed to have her take you out on a date in the coming weekend, you immediately turned around and pulled out your phone, texting your reliable older sister.

sliding your phone inside one of your pockets, you started leaving the building with a skip in your step. the hallways were silent with only muffled chatter and the thought of shin ryujin accompanying you on your way out. you blushed as you remembered her vibrant smile when you said ‘yes’ to her date proposal—it looked like she had been nervous before she asked you and was very relieved that you didn’t turn her down. but in what world would you have rejected her, anyway? she was your dream girl! and ever since your first date together, which was only three weeks ago, you have been wanting to see her again.

the two of you have only been texting and chatting in the halls regularly but being in different programs made it hard for either of you to make time. not to mention the nerves! you had no idea if ryujin wanted to go on a date with you again even when you knew full well that she enjoyed her last one with you. it was wonyoung who cleared you of your doubts and worries, told you that if ryujin wasn’t stupid she would absolutely want to be with you, and she was even the one who gave you good advice on how to initiate something she calls ‘the first-date skinship’! it was only wonyoung’s natural big-sister-instinct to want to help you with your second date, and you really couldn’t have asked for a better guide!

arriving at the parking lot, you spotted wonyoung in the sea of cars, leaning on her own sleek, cherry red chevy as she reapplied some gloss on her plump lips. you noticed that she was strangely glammed up on a tuesday where you knew her classes were fairly boring and totally not worth all the effort of looking decent, let alone fabulous. she must have plans—besides taking you out shopping, that is. she spots you once you were halfway across the lot, and her smile lights up the entire area, in your eyes anyway. 

you happily walked faster until you were right in front of her, “hi, unnie!” you greeted with a sweet smile that she returned with a pinch of your cheek.

“hey there, lovergirl. you look so happy! it’s cute,” wonyoung spots how your cheeks flushed. surely enough she now knows about how you kept thinking about ryujin on the walk towards this place, and speaking of the devil, she followed your gaze to the car a few spots away from her own, where ryujin and a few of her best friends were standing and chatting comfortably around in. as if she sensed that someone was staring at her, ryujin turns her head and locks eyes with you. you froze up, both embarrassed and terrified that you were caught practically drooling over your crush by… your crush! it was only when wonyoung subtly nudged you that you managed to give ryujin a shy wave, which the latter returned just as shyly and got teased by her friends for it. “oh wow, you two are so into each other.” wonyoung laughed as you turned away from ryujin with burning hot cheeks.

“i’m happy i trusted you and didn’t let my preconceived notions of her stop you from going on that first date. she seems like a good egg. now, anyway.” wonyoung says as she subtly studies ryujin. a once drop-out, repeater of classes, and a reputation for being the token ‘player’ of her little group… wonyoung had all the right to doubt ryujin when you first told her that you had a crush on her. it didn’t help that ryujin looked the part of a player too! even wonyoung herself thought that little smirk of hers was quite charming, but after hearing all of the things you said about ryujin and how she treated you so kindly… well, wonyoung had to give her a chance!

and clearly, shin ryujin did not disappoint.

“if this second date goes well, i’ll properly introduce you both. if you’d like! it doesn’t look like it but you guys have similar interests and i think you’ll get along well.” you said, immediately getting reminded of how much you talked about your perfect wonyoung-unnie to ryujin on that first date. thinking about it now was embarrassing, but it made your heart skip a beat when you remember how ryujin didn’t seem to mind anything ‘strange’ that you did. she just looked happy to be hanging out with you! oh, you could fall in love, really.

“whoa there, maybe save the introductions when you’ve been dating for at least two months.” wonyoung teased, smiling widely at how you just ducked into the passenger seat to avoid eye contact with her. wonyoung sits herself down in the driver’s seat, more than happy to let you hog the speakers with your music while she checks herself one last time in her mirrors.

“ah, do you have a date, unnie?” you asked, your eyes carefully studying your step sister’s every facial feature. in your eyes, jang wonyoung was the definition of ‘flawless’. perfect face, perfect body, perfect personality, perfect heart, perfect lips… sometimes you envied her, but every time you voiced out some of your insecurities to her, she would tell you to be quiet and that you’re perfect in her eyes. you appreciated her greatly because of that and she has increased your confidence in every aspect of yourself! add ‘perfect older sister’ in that list.

“oh, god no,” wonyoung says as she slowly pulls out of her spot. she waves at a couple students that were walking by, and you even spot some who waved at you as well. you returned their greetings with a sweet smile before wonyoung completely drove away from the parking lot, but she of course gave you some sweet seconds to wave at ryujin again before speeding off laughing. “why? did you think i would take you shopping not looking decent?” she asked.

“if your ‘decent’ looks like a pageant entry, then i’m afraid to find out what mine is.” you grumbled. it was almost an unhealthy habit of yours to nitpick your appearance, but wonyoung was quick to make all of that go away.

“yours is winning the pageant in question, of course.” wonyoung said. her words laced with nothing but sincerity, it made you smile.

“i appreciate the lie, unnie.” you replied, laughing.

wonyoung whines, “i don’t lie, (y/n)-ah. you know this!”

the ride to the nearest outlet mall was filled with casual chatter and laughs. you tried to convince wonyoung to go to a less… well, expensive mall but she insisted that it was the perfect time to spend her allowance! and then you begged her not to spend her money on you, and she blissfully ignored you. ever the doting one she is. the entire time you sat on that passenger seat, you were fixing your makeup using the little mirror in the visor, grumbling when you noticed how ‘off’ you looked with how your makeup had worn off throughout the day. and so you get to ‘fixing’ your appearance, but not before noticing that wonyoung’s eyes kept drifting from the road to you.

“what, unnie?”

you hear wonyoung hum, “nothing. you know you don’t need too much of that, right…? you’re so pretty.”

“i’m not about to go into a mall for rich kids with my gorgeous older sister looking like i just woke up from hibernation.” you joked, giggling when wonyoung scoffs and shakes her head.

“trust me. you’re more beautiful than you think.” wonyoung pinches your cheek and before you could deny or say anything back, she speeds off into the highway, giving you no choice but to sit back and relax. you already knew that wonyoung was going to be the one to dress you up for the entirety of this little outing so you didn’t waste your brainpower trying to think of any outfits to put together. instead, you opted to stare at the clouds with ryujin in your head, accompanied by a lovesick smile on your face which was made worse because of the romantic songs playing through the speakers.

once you arrived at the outlet mall, wonyoung wasted no time and took you by the hand before tugging you towards clothing stores that had prices worth more than you think they deserve for being merely… well, clothing.

“u-unnie, this is way too expensive for a skirt! please, i do not need this!” you said after nearly fainting looking at the price tag of a cute, frilly black skirt that wonyoung picked out for you.

“i told you already: don’t worry about it. and less talking, more looking!” wonyoung puts the skirt in a bag, moving on to a rack of some if the prettiest blouses you have ever seen. from the colors to the material—it was all very rich, and you haven’t even included the prices there!

“so! what kind of outfit would you like to wear for this date? preppy? cutesy? maybe even sexy?” wonyoung teased with a smirk. you blushed madly at the suggestion, looking away to hide your cheeks as well as your burning ears. “aww, baby, you think about ryujin in that way? how adorable!” wonyoung laughs.

“have you seen her in the engineering building? she’s so attractive when she’s all serious and focused…” you said with a dreamy sigh. you developed the peculiar habit of taking a long stroll around the campus whenever you had spare time and you just so happened to always walk by ryujin’s classroom on your routes. once in a while you’d see her—nose glued to her notebook or listening to the lecture with great focus… and it really was sexy of her! and now here’s a fun fact: the two of you actually met on one of your first walks around the campus, where you got lost in the engineering building and ryujin had been conveniently running late to class.

you asked her for directions but she insisted that she escort you back to your own lecture hall, and the rest, as they say, is history! every time you think about it, butterflies invade your stomach and turn you into a blushing mess.

“come on, try some of these on.” wonyoung leads you to a lavish (and huge) dressing room that looks like a monster made of pink goo puked all over it. nevertheless, wonyoung takes a seat in one of the puffy, pretty ridiculously pink armchairs and nods at the privacy screen, expecting you to put on a whole fashion show for her. you felt intimidated by wonyoung, but not the kind where you would tuck your tail in between your legs and hide like you usually did with other people that mildly scared you. this kind of intimidation just made you want to impress her—make her proud, almost.

and what would you be if you were not a people-pleaser?!

so you hid behind the privacy screen and stared at the four pretty outfits that wonyoung had arranged for you; they were all pastel-colored outfits. you didn’t have a problem, of course, but you did wonder if you could ever pull it off as flawlessly as wonyoung did. on your last date with ryujin, you wore a sundress embroidered with flowers, petals, and leaves along with a cute hat, one of wonyoung’s expensive purses, and bejeweled mary janes—the outfit made ryujin unable to make eye contact with you for ten minutes until she finally got the courage to tell you how pretty you looked. adorable, but what if she doesn’t think the same on this second date?

shaking your head, you decided to trust your sister.

the mini fashion show was enlightening! seeing wonyoung’s face light up with amusement and joy every time you walked out of the privacy screen with a shy look on your face made you a bit less embarrassed of yourself. wonyoung would sometimes ask you to do a little twirl for her and would giggle sweetly at you when you do what she says even though your face was beet red. regardless of how you felt bashful about being your older step sister’s living doll, you enjoyed everything. you ended up picking an outfit that you really liked too!

“there are ways we can make this look a hundred times better!” wonyoung says, approaching you with a smile on her face. she gets real close to you, making you freeze on your spot and stare at her right in the eyes like a deer caught in headlights. her perfume was so sweet, voice so smooth as if it was made of silk, lips so full, plump, and pink that it was alluring. your breath catches in your throat when wonyoung lifts her hands slightly, undoing the ribbon of your blouse and then tying it back again—prettier this time. you couldn’t help your wandering eyes; you stared at her lips for too long! you hoped to the gods above that she didn’t notice.

(she did.)

“i’ll teach you how to tie your ribbon all cute when it’s date day. oh, and also raise this up a bit,” wonyoung lowers her hand, tucking both her thumbs underneath the waistband of your skirt and pulling your skirt up a bit. you don’t know what kind of sound nearly left your mouth when her cold fingers touched your warm skin but you were so fucking glad that it never came out. “for easier access.” wonyoung whispers with a suggestive wink.

you blushed wildly, “oh, unnie! ryujin’s the sweetest gentlewoman, please don’t put that in my head.” you promptly moved away from wonyoung, opting to stand in front of the full body mirror instead to observe your appearance. with a little bit of light makeup and some accessories, you’d look really cute. you were glad wonyoung was here to offer her expertise, or else you would’ve been panicking trying to find a decent outfit the night before the big day. both you and wonyoung ogle over your adorable outfit before you go back to wearing your regular clothes, realizing that you might like shopping and scourging for outfits more than you thought.

at the cash register, you still insisted on at least paying for half of the payments required for the outfit but wonyoung refused again. “keep this up and i’m going to have to lock your cards myself just to make it stick to you that i want to pay for everything.” wonyoung then pinches your nose and happily slips the receipt into the paper bag before gingerly walking out of the store with you following close behind. at least she allowed you to carry the bag, but that was only because she wanted to loop her arm around yours and tug you everywhere.

for the rest of your time at that outlet mall, you spent most of it window shopping and trying to stop wonyoung from buying you pricey things that you did not ask for. you managed to prevent her from getting you a shiny watch, some sleek heels, and fancy pieces of clothing that were too rich for your little closet, but you couldn’t say no to her when she brought up the wonderful idea of getting matching bracelets. wonyoung’s joy was contagious; it made you so happy to see her smile when you allowed her to put the bracelet on you. it was just another great day of hanging out with her, but the fun didn’t stop there!

“so, tonight! you, me, in my room, a pint of ice cream, iconic romcoms, and planning out your second date. sound good?” wonyoung asks once she had her car parked on the driveway. you nodded eagerly, taking a bite out of the donut in your hand before tidying yourself up. wonyoung wipes a filling off the top of your lips and licks it off her thumb, chuckling lightly at your bewildered expression before exiting her car. you blinked, and asked yourself just why did you think it was so… ‘hot’ of her to do that? shaking your head, you followed after your step sister, closing the car door gently and jogging up to the front porch of the jang family mansion.

the mansion was as posh and lavish as one would expect from the jangs; from the fine pieces of paintings, sculptures, and figures scattered all over the house to the intricately-detailed wallpapers and the expensive furniture. it was way too big for one family of four, three dramatic cats, and two live-in housekeepers but it was home.

“hi, unnies!” wonyoung excitedly greets the chipper housekeepers, giving them hugs and kisses. you stood idly behind them all, waiting as wonyoung chatted with them. “mmh… that smells really good. but why are you guys cooking a bit early tonight?” wonyoung asked.

“ah, sir jang or madam (l/n) hasn’t mentioned it yet?” the older one of the housekeepers, sunhee, said. you and wonyoung exchanged a quick look with each other, making you grab your phone just to take a quick peek to confirm that no, neither your stepfather or mother have texted you about any interesting event that’s supposed to occur tonight. “both of them are inviting some friends of theirs over for dinner. and they’re expecting you young’uns to join them!”

your smile drops slightly. not because you didn’t want to join the big dinner but because your little plan with wonyoung might have to be canceled depending on how long the dinner would be. seeing this, the younger housekeeper, norae, was quick to try and lift your spirits back up. “i’m sure it’s not anything too serious! nothing to be concerned about.” she smiles kindly at you and relief was evident in her face when you smile back, warm from the reassurance. afterwards, sunhee decided to go back to the kitchen but norae insisted on helping you and wonyoung with your bags.

“one day i’m going drag you and sunhee-unnie along to my bi-weekly shopping sprees. it’ll be so fun.” wonyoung tells norae as the three of you struggled climbing the staircases with shopping bags in your hands. while the two older girls get lost in their conversation, you feel your phone buzz in your pocket and your heart jumps at the thought of it being ryujin. she did tell you that she would tell you more about the date she has planned so you wouldn’t be too nervous about it. how considerate of her! you paused on top of the staircases to look at your phone, and you were correct!”

“come on, lover girl, don’t fall off the stairs,” wonyoung teased, her head peeking out from the corner of the hallway. “sorry, unnie. she has another hot date this weekend so she’s a bit… distracted.” wonyoung winks at the young housekeeper before laughing at how you blushed at her statement. shoving your phone in your pocket, you grabbed your bags and made a beeline towards your room, ignoring wonyoung’s giggles and norae’s calls for details. you thanked norae for her help with your bags before bidding your older sister a short goodbye—you had a ‘formal’ dinner to get ready for! and you wanted to see if you can glam yourself up without wonyoung’s help this time.

however, instead of going straight into the showers like you intended to, you decided to crash right onto your bed! ryujin didn’t seem to be camping in your messages anymore, possibly occupied with something. a shame since you wanted to chat with her just to know more about her so you wouldn’t be a total bore to talk to on your second date with her. beyond the cool girl persona, there was a not-so-hidden softness in ryujin that she doesn’t really allow just anyone to see and maybe it was her infatuation with you, but you were one of those people that she let see her adorable side.

for example! once in a while you would find three daisies taped to your locker with a small sticky note that had only a cute heart and ‘ryu’ signed at the bottom of the paper. on one of those days where ryujin pulled that stunt, wonyoung had been with you and you got such a big teasing from her that you had to pretend that the cute gesture didn’t affect you as much. every time ryujin gave you daisies you always made sure to take them home and appreciate them a little more before their time was up, and because of ryujin, you found yourself liking the flower so much that even your phone case was designed with daisies.

you hadn’t been able to get the look of awe in ryujin’s face when she noticed your new and shiny daisy phone case one day and you swore that when her face lit up with a bright smile, you had fallen in love.

you turned to your side and started scrolling through ryujin’s instagram page. you’ve probably seen every post at this point but you would never get tired of seeing her face… plus her pictures were pretty cool, okay?! you wondered who took them—maybe chaeryeong? you always knew they were pretty close, almost like sisters. as you scrolled through your crush’s feed, it started to get… warm. shin ryujin was simply too handsome for her own good; who could blame you for staring obsessively at a certain pic that you liked for so long that you didn't even notice your own hand slipping underneath the waistband of your pants and feeling your own clothed core?

rubbing the fabric of your underwear against your clit, you whimpered and pressed your face against your pillows as a means to suppress your noises. it would be a nightmare if anybody in the house hears you. they may not tease you as it would be embarrassing for everybody, but just the thought of the kind housekeepers and your very own step sister hearing you like this… well, it makes you want to pack your bags and move out. and so you bit the pillowcase and sighed blissfully at the pleasure, sliding your fingers past your underwear and squirming at the contact made with your bare clit. you were doing well for a while with only soft whimpers, heavy breathing, and sharp intakes of breath leaving your mouth, although every time you pressed on your clit too hard a slightly louder whine would slip out and you would have to bite harder.

you started to think about the possibility of your second date ending a bit… differently compared to your first one. what if instead of a sweet kiss on the cheek after ryujin drops you off to the gates of the mansion, you’d be underneath her? a helpless, moaning mess on her bed as she feasts herself on your cunt with her adorable eyes latched onto yours and calling you all the names you like and singing your praises? the thought makes a shiver run down your spine, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body even though you were doing the bare minimum at the moment.

you blame wonyoung for all of this. it was all innocent until she brought up the idea of you potentially dressing sexy for ryujin on your date. now fucking with her was all you can think about. feeling her skin against yours, her hands on you, her lips kissing you until every inch of your skin was covered with her marks, and to feel her own core in your hand…

“mmhn… god, wonyoung-unnie…”

your eyes snap open and all of your movements halted.

wonyoung? your step sister that was right across the door of your own room?

oh, god. you feel sick.

out of all the days you had to acknowledge these forbidden and super fucking weird underlying attraction you had for wonyoung, it had to be today—days away from your dream date with your crush. you can’t even defend yourself by saying that ‘nobody can blame you for being attracted to an admittedly attractive woman’ when the woman in question is your family! you felt disgusted with yourself, and the desire to catapult yourself out of your window only becomes stronger when you imagined wonyoung’s disappointed face in your head. she was scolding you… and it turned you on to an immense degree.

fuckfuckfuck, no!! bad (y/n)!!

immediately, you cleaned up your hand and did everything in your power to forget about what just happened. absolutely no one can know that you had pictured yourself getting intimate with wonyoung and that you moaned her name out loud while you were touching yourself! 

after choosing a decent outfit for the dinner, you headed straight into the bathroom to have a nice, long shower that you hoped would wash away all the thoughts you had in your head about ryujin, the date, and most importantly, wonyoung.

you don’t know why it was so hard for you to make your way down the stairs after you have been called to do so by your mother… until you were met with your step sister’s back at the bottom of the stairs. wonyoung had been waiting for you, refusing to enter the dining area without you (since she knew that if she leaves you to yourself, you would walk into the area with cold hands and shaking legs. and she knew you wouldn’t let yourself live that down). thankfully, as mentioned before, her back was turned to you so she wasn’t aware of your presence yet. and then you found yourself torn in between two paths: act like you didn’t ‘accidentally’ masturbate to the thought of her and that your life is merry and happy, or completely avoid interacting with her throughout the night.

the second option was a death trap, of course. knowing wonyoung, she wouldn’t let up until you spat out what was bothering you. especially if it involved herself. so you crossed that out immediately and found yourself in great peril. unfortunately, you didn’t have the luxury to practice your fake smiles and faux enthusiasm as wonyoung took a glance behind herself and finally saw you, flashing you a radiant smile before beckoning you over.

when you reach the last step, wonyoung loops her arm around yours and pulls you close, “what took you so long? and why do you look so scared?” she asked, chuckling at your peculiar state.

it totally wasn’t because of the alluring perfume that she was wearing and how her glossy, red lips were so inviting.

“unnie, you know i-i’m not good with people… especially mom and mr. jang’s friends. they always have such high expectations…” you muttered, opting to look at the lively dining area just to avoid wonyoung’s stare.

“expectations that you don’t have any problem meeting already because you’re amazing. stop downplaying yourself, (y/n)-ah. i’m gonna get really angry.” wonyoung pinched your cheek and laughed at how you scrunched up your face in pain. unexpectedly, wonyoung dives right in and gives you a kiss on the cheek that she pinched, making you stiffen on the spot.

“oh, crap,” wonyoung notices that she left a barely faint kiss mark on your cheek. “free blush for you, i guess?” wonyoung says as she wipes away the lipstick gently. you were hoping that she would just ignore how you have completely gone non-verbal because of her actions. and god forbid, she notices how you’ve clenched your thighs together in an attempt to stop that feeling in your core from getting stronger. this was so, so wrong.

“come on, now. it’s only mr. and mrs. naoi with mrs. ahn and mrs. kim—we’ve met them before and we’re schoolmates with their kids, remember?” wonyoung starts tugging you towards the dining table where your mother and stepfather as well as their friends have already settled down while norae and sunhee present the food they have cooked at the table. you hear the adults laughing about mr. ahn and mr. kim’s absence before their conversation was cut short due to your and wonyoung’s appearance. you felt small under the gazes of the accomplished people in the room, with your mother being one of them no less, until you feel wonyoung’s hand touch the back of your waist for support.

“good evening.” the two of you said at the same time, greeting the other adults with a sweet smile before giving your parents hugs and kisses on the cheeks. you were sitting in between your mother and wonyoung, facing the gentleness and warmth of mrs. kim who sat across from you. with a few more greetings exchanged and a brief ‘thank you’ to the housekeepers, the dinner officially started.

it turns out that you didn’t have much to worry about. it was mostly the parents that talked about their businesses and some anecdotes that happened in their respective workplaces, sometimes they asked about wonyoung’s studies, about your studies, and your love lives. both you and wonyoung denied being in a relationship even though you knew how glaringly obvious it was that you had been thinking about a certain engineering student. both your stepfather and mother exchanged a knowing glance upon seeing your red ears—you had told them about ryujin just a few days before you went on that first date with her, and from the looks of it, they seemed fine with you seeing people and going on dates.

it was mostly wonyoung that they all talked to, being the older between you two and they knew her better than they did you. it was fascinating to watch how wonyoung seemed to fit right in; she spoke with so much confidence that it intimidated you. at least you got to hear about her mysterious biological older sister. the one you haven’t exactly met yet if you don’t count seeing her in pictures and having to briefly wave at her through wonyoung’s phone screen when they had been video calling one time. you were more than content to just sit there and eat your food along with occasionally acknowledging and chatting a little bit when you were being talked to. even that proved to be a challenge.

especially when wonyoung’s piercing gaze made your hair stand on end, but you can’t think about that for too long or else you’ll malfunction where you sat.

when the dinner finished and your mother and stepfather have gone outside to send their friends home, you and wonyoung decided to help the housekeepers collect the dishes. you both insisted that you helped them wash it and clean up the entire dining area in general but they refused, saying that it’s already pretty late in the evening and that the two of you should just head to bed. you wanted to persist, but wonyoung takes a hold of your arm and starts tugging you towards the staircases. god, after you did what you did earlier, you really thought that you shouldn’t be alone with her at all. who knows what you might say? what you might do?

the two of you climbed up the staircases in silence. every step weighed heavily in your heart, and seeing the wide smile on wonyoung’s face, thinking that she was going to have another fun night hanging out with her only younger sister, broke you even more. you just had to utter her name that time, didn’t you?

it wasn’t until you had stopped in front of wonyoung’s bedroom door that you finally decided to speak. “u-um, unnie… shopping kind of wore me out earlier so i think i’m going to have to skip movie night,” you said these words while looking elsewhere, not having it in yourself to try to look at wonyoung in the eyes and lie to her face. “i’m sorry. i know you were looking forward to it.”

wonyoung wasn’t stupid. you knew that she knew something was truly wrong and that you weren’t planning on telling her about it anytime soon, but of course, it would be quite intrusive of her to push you into telling her everything, so she doesn’t question you. wonyoung merely caresses your hair and pats your back softly, “it’s okay, (y/n)-ah. we can do it some other time.” she said. you didn’t like how sure she sounded, because you knew that if wonyoung were to ask to have some time alone with you in the foreseeable future, you would have to decline.

when you parted ways with her and she finally disappeared behind her door, you stared at your own for a quick minute, immediately regretting your decisions but finding it useless to take it all back. what were you going to do? tell wonyoung that you were only momentarily freaked out because you touched yourself to the thought of her? no. it was much, much better to live with the intent to carry that secret to your grave than facing it.

you went to bed with unsettling feelings bubbling from the pit of your stomach that night and unbeknownst to you, your mistake was going to be much, much harder to forget.

it really hurts you to continuously avoid wonyoung for days on end. it was always terrible when it was daytime considering she’s driving you to school everyday. she would put on her music and try to start conversations with you, only for you to abruptly end it with mere hums, nods, and short answers. you couldn’t look at her when you have been struggling to get that pretty face of hers out of your head for days—at night, in your dreams and in the morning, when you make the mistake of spacing out and have the same image of wonyoung seducing you. many times at night, you woke up from a wet dream wherein wonyoung had been going down on you and you found your hand shoved inside your soaked panties. and that night, you let out a scream that alerted your step sister herself.

wonyoung had rushed to knock on your door thinking that you were in danger or something, and you had to try your very hardest to cover up that wet spot on your shorts while you reassured her that you just had a ‘nightmare’. she looked like she wanted to talk to you more, perhaps suggest that you sleep with her so she can spoon you like she had done so a few times before when you actually did have nightmares. but you made sure to talk to her for no more than five minutes before you bid her goodnight again and close the door on her face. that night, you actually sobbed quietly into your pillow. you were so horrible to her for no reason, and you hated yourself for it.

wonyoung had learned how to hide unnecessary emotions from showing up on her face as a means to avoid being too much of an open book to strangers, but you have learned to catch every little thing wonyoung does so it was easy for you to see through that veil of hers. this time around, however, it was a curse. every time you came up with some excuse to do things alone, you would see a flash of hurt in wonyoung’s eyes before she covered it up behind an understanding smile. she had gotten used to your rejection to the point that sometimes she doesn’t even bother to ask you to hang out anymore, and this morning she barely acknowledged you.

when you made your way towards your room to get yourself washed up, wonyoung had just come out of her own room clad in her running gear. you hated how attractive she looked wearing it all, but what you hated more was how wonyoung completely walked past you without a word, a smile, or even a glance… and yet she was wearing her pair of your matching bracelets. a familiar lump was stuck in your throat for a few minutes while you paced around your room trying to calm yourself, but you were able to get it together when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. ryujin had texted you, reminding you that she will pick you up from the mansion and so you shouldn’t bother taking a cab to your meeting place.

yes, it was the day and yet ryujin was somehow the last thing on your mind.

with a deep exhale, you decided that you were going to enjoy this day to the fullest and think about what to do with the mess you’ve created later. there has been a cloud stuck to your head for days now, and while that was mostly your fault, you still deserved a good day filled with butterflies in your stomach and cupid arrows shooting through your heart. with that in mind, you took the first relaxing shower you’ve had after days of being dramatic and moping while water rained down on your sad face. the date was hours away, so you had time to have fun playing dress up in your room. (although there weren't a lot of outfits to choose from thanks to your amateur sense of fashion.)

perhaps you had a bit too much fun ogling over your jewelry since you now only had an exact hour to get yourself dolled up before your princess charming pulls up at the gates. getting dressed up and prepared for the date was disheartening because you knew wonyoung would’ve loved to help you like she had done before, and judging by the fact that she hasn’t returned from her run yet, she was most likely avoiding seeing you leave without her sending you off personally. while this realization might have haunted you to the point that your heart feels hollow as a wave of regret washes over you, you simply had no time to dwell on it even further.

like you decided earlier: date first, problems later. especially when the date in question was apparently waiting at the gates for five minutes while you were busy picking out earrings that complement your outfit. you grabbed your purse and headed out of your bedroom with your heart racing from excitement. norae was sweeping the hallways in the upstairs area and she gave you two thumb-ups while you waved goodbye at her—you made sure to tell her all about it when you finally had time. your mother and stepfather were out on a quick grocery run with sunhee so they were nowhere to be found, which was a win to you because you knew that all three of them would just tease the hell out of you if they saw how giddy you looked.

but then, as you approached the front door, you saw wonyoung taking her shoes off and putting them aside. you watched intently as she took her thin jacket off and revealed her sports bra, which turned out to be the only thing she was wearing underneath. fuck, really? now?! shaking your head, you headed for the door with your head down.

“have fun, (y/n)-ah.”

well, you didn’t expect that.

you stopped in your tracks, turning your head to look your sister in the eye for the first time in a long while. wonyoung didn’t avoid you this time, even going as far as giving you a soft smile. you couldn’t stop yourself—you hugged wonyoung tightly, not even caring that she was a bit damp from sweat. feeling her wrap her long arms around your waist and pull you close was the fullest your heart has been these past few days and when you leaned back to stare at her adoring face, you don’t hide how you were staring at her lips. always so appealing, tempting you to do something so unimaginable. and it seems like wonyoung had the same idea, tightening her hold around your waist with one of her hands resting far down your lower back. it even looks like she already had her head tilted, nervous eyes flickering back and forth between your lips and your gaze.

no. not now. much to wonyoung’s (and your own) dismay, you pulled away from her embrace. “i’ll see you later, unnie. i promise.” you said before swiftly opening the front door and leaving. wonyoung’s scent lingers before it is completely washed away by the smell of nature, reminding you that you had a cute date to worry about for now.

ryujin waits outside of her gray top-down car, holding a singular red rose in her hand while she paced back and forth nervously. smiling, you opened up the gates while she was busy mumbling some kind of mantra to herself, greatly startling her. normally, ryujin would be embarrassed but you laughed so cutely that she had to suck it up, opting to laugh herself before regaining composure. she looked handsome with her loose and silky dark blue button-up shirt while a pair of chic sunglasses pushed the front of her hair back—the look made your heart skip a beat.

“you look beautiful, (y/n),” ryujin extends her arm and hands you the rose which you gratefully accept with a shy smile. she then opens the door of the passenger seat, urging you to take a seat. “ready to go?”

you suddenly felt brave. you closed the distance between the two of you and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek, “thank you, ryu.” you said before occupying the passenger seat. you were glad that it took ryujin a minute to settle down behind the wheel because if she had seen how hard you blushed… you wouldn’t have looked as cool as you initially did! ryujin herself was blushing as well, and she couldn’t resist a wide smile from appearing on her pretty face. well, that was definitely worth the risk.

“oh, here,” ryujin grabs a jacket from the backseat and lays it over your lap. “wouldn’t want you to get cold now.”

from then on, you knew the date was going to be just as fantastic as the last one you had with her. and it really was! your first stop was an italian restaurant that you actually remember vaguely hearing about via overhearing wonyoung talking about wanting to eat there with her friends. you had a lovely time hearing ryujin talk about her studies, her friends, and the little moments in her daily life that she was willing to share, and the way she intently listened to you while you shared your own stories made your heart race. afterwards, ryujin tried to convince you to let her pay for all of the food but after seeing that you refused to back down, she ended up letting you share the bill with her. 

the next stop was a quick-but-heartwarming stroll at a lively and colorful park that had the most beautiful arrangements of plants and flowers as well as gorgeous water fountains. ryujin moved on to talking about some funny encounters at her part-time job—she seemed to love it when you laughed with her and at her stories. it took some time, but ryujin eventually found the courage to hold your hand while you were mesmerized by a particularly ravishing flower bed. the two of you toured the rest of the park hand-in-hand, sharing shy glances for a while until ryujin laughed at the ridiculousness of it all and kept the conversations going. you hadn’t heard about this wonderful park before so naturally you couldn’t wait to tell wonyoung all about it!

and the final stop was a quaint local bakery where you ended up buying two whole boxes of pastries to take home to your family and housekeepers. you and ryujin continued sharing your experiences with the most random things over a cup of coffee, tea, and the most delicious delicacies you’ve had in a long while. ryujin held your hand the entire time and her smile seemed brighter and wider, just like yours was. as you walked out of the bakery and towards the parking lot, the sun was well on its way down the horizon and there was a certain mood in the air… and a spark when you got the courage to look ryujin in the eyes.

there was the anticipation of a kiss… and something more.

then, you ask a question that you never would have thought to come out of your mouth ever, “w-would you… like to come over for a bit?”

ryujin was caught off guard by this and you wondered if those were the right set of words to say to her at the time, but it seems like she was more than eager to take up your offer. although, she does ask you a question with uncertainty and anxiousness, “won’t your family mind? i-i would hate to be a bother…”

but oh, you were chasing after something and you wanted to grab it with your hands firmly. “no, no. they would love to have you over! e-especially wonyoung-unnie!” you insisted. you felt pathetic and desperate trying to convince her like this… but it works. ryujin agrees and the two of you get inside her car for a quite silent and admittedly awkward ride back to the jang mansion. you were expecting the worst of the teasing to come from your doting stepfather and playful mother. norae and sunhee would most likely just laugh in the background and as for wonyoung, she would be smiling triumphantly knowing that she was right all this time!

right about thinking of ryujin touching you, she was!

ryujin parks her car on the spot beside where wonyoung’s car was, making the process excruciatingly slow as she was probably nervous about meeting your family so quickly. you comforted her by taking her hand and gently leading her towards the front doors. you intertwine your fingers, giving her a smile to calm her nerves before pushing the door open. where you would usually find your parents lounging around this time was just an empty big couch. you didn’t hear random laughs and chatter in the kitchen either, which means that wonyoung wasn’t hanging out with the housekeepers to kill time. and the housekeepers themselves were nowhere to be found. 

the mansion was completely empty. ryujin lets out a sigh of relief at the realization that not a single soul was present in the mansion and was a lot more comfortable going forward: making noises of approval and awe at the pieces of art around the house and the interior design as well as nodding as you tell her random facts about the mansion. eventually, the air was dead silent once again when you reached your bedroom. the two of you sit on the edge of your bed, quietly picking at the lint on your clothes and looking everywhere else but at each other.

this was a stupid idea, you thought. she probably didn’t even want to go here… what was i thinking?!

but maybe it wasn’t stupid! because when you find the courage to turn your head to look at ryujin, you find her already staring at you. her face accompanied with the expression of longing that you’ve seen very clearly on your older step sister just this morning before you left the mansion for this date. before you process anything thoroughly, ryujin leans in for a kiss… and so do you.

ryujin’s lips tasted like caramel and caffeine, and with the faint remains of the cinnamon pastry that she snacked on earlier, it all created a distinguished flavor on your tongue that you desired to have more of. so you got brave: softly grabbing a fistful of ryujin’s shirt and pulling her closer to you as you backed up further in your bed until your back was against the headboard. ryujin couldn’t resist her own urges as much as she tried to be a gentlewoman about this whole ordeal. not long after you’ve gotten comfortable, ryujin attacks your neck while pulling on the ribbon on your blouse. her kisses were almost intoxicating, making you release unheard sounds from your mouth that you could tell she greatly enjoyed hearing when you felt her smirk against your skin.

with your blouse now loose and exposing your shoulders as well as a part of your upper chest area, ryujin was now free to mark you however and wherever she desired. whimpers leave your quivering lips as ryujin trailed feather-light kisses down your neck, and a pretty moan follows when she sucks on a certain spot that feels better than the rest. having been distracted by her work on your neck, you don’t notice how she had a gentle grip on your thigh. that was until she slowly slid her hand up, all the way underneath your skirt until she could feel the fabric of your panties on her fingertips.

ryujin tugs on the material at the same time she leaves her first hickey on your neck, and you panic.

you promptly push her back, rendering both of you in temporary shock. you clumsily fixed your blouse, suddenly feeling way too exposed for your own good. a pang of guilt hits you in the chest when ryujin looks at you with widened eyes, “i-i’m sorry, (y/n). did i… was that too fast?” she asked, immediately putting some distance between the two of you just so you don’t feel scared any further.

truthfully, it wasn’t clear to you why exactly you stopped ryujin. but one thing was for sure: it felt… wrong. wrong for her to be the one to touch you. to kiss you. to even… like you. it was almost as if something in your head was telling you that she was the wrong person to pour all of your affection to. it scared you to think about the correct answer too much because you knew damn well what it was deep inside. you see ryujin’s mouth move as she frantically apologized and talked about how she didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable but you don’t hear any of it—you were way too occupied with the thought of your wonyoung-unnie and how she might react to this event, and how you… needed her right now.

“s-s-should i… leave? i’m really sorry if i made the wrong call, i—”

“it’s okay, ryu… i just—i don’t know, i freaked out. i’m sorry.”

ryujin shakes her head profusely, “no, no, please. don’t apologize for anything. i should’ve known not to do that shit. i mean, it’s our second date—god, i’m so sorry.” when she crawled closer, you flinched… but you allowed her to comfort you. not a lot of words were shared between the two of you for a whole hour as you didn’t find it in you to speak to ryujin again after embarrassing her like that. instead, you rested your head on her shoulder and wondered why, just why, out of all the people you wanted to be this close to you, you wanted it to be… wonyoung? from an outsider’s perspective, being temporarily estranged from her for a week straight would be the quickest answer to that question, but you knew it wasn’t the whole truth.

you wanted her. and while the mere idea of feeling so awfully attractive to her disgusted you to your core, you couldn’t stop your heart from trying to take what it desires. but the real question was would you really be willing to commit to such a thing just to see a sign if wonyoung held a similar attraction towards you, or in order to keep a family after enduring so many years of living in a house divided, should you just shove everything under the rug and instead, forever become distant towards wonyoung?

after ryujin quite reluctantly and regrettably left the mansion and you found yourself sitting with your knees touching your chest on the carpeted floors of wonyoung’s bedroom, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you found the answer to your myriad of questions from before. you nervously awaited wonyoung’s arrival; although her car was very much present in the driveway, you figured that she must’ve gone out with her friends or something considering she was nowhere to be found in any corner of the mansion at all. the entire place has been too quiet for your liking and on top of all that, you hated being alone inside such a big space.

before you sunk deeper into your personal pool of negative thoughts, the door slowly creaked open, revealing a casually-clothed wonyoung holding three large shopping bags with her phone against her ear. she doesn’t notice you upon entering, way too engaged in the conversation with whoever was on the other line. you watched as she dropped the shopping bags to the side and throw her purse to the soft bean bag in the corner before she finally took a good look around the room and spotted your pitiful self all balled up on the floor looking like a kicked puppy. wonyoung was only momentarily surprised, sending a confused look your way before briefly saying goodbye to her friend on the phone.

“i’ll call you back later, unnie. my little sister needs me,” wonyoung then ends the call and puts both of her hands on her hips, jokingly glaring at you. “who said you could come in here as much as you please? especially after being so mean to me for the past week.” wonyoung was pouting, but she was quick to drop her act and laugh at herself. as upset as you were about how things went down with ryujin, you found herself giggling along with her. instead of asking you to stand up, wonyoung sits down right beside you.

you could feel her staring at you and deciphering your expression while your eyes were glued to your feet. you figured that she must have questions for you, and you did have things to say to her obviously but you didn’t know where to start at all. do you start with ryujin? do you start with an apology? do you want to completely avoid deep conversations for now and ask where she had gone? you had no idea. luckily enough, you didn’t have to make that decision.

“did something happen with ryujin? you look troubled,” wonyoung said. her kind eyes refuse to leave your face, wondering just what might’ve disturbed you so greatly that you felt the need to run to her about it. she scoots closer to you and the way you tensed up slightly did not at all go unnoticed. wonyoung tilts her head inquisitively, notices the faint hickey that ryujin gave you, and her mood changes. “what did she do?”

you were to go on ryujin’s defense when you noticed the scary tone in her voice. “no, no. it’s nothing like that, unnie. it’s my fault, i…” you sighed deeply, cringing at the exact memory you pushed ryujin away from you. “i messed up and we couldn’t go through with… you know.” god, you sounded like a child and you hated it. it shouldn’t have to be so hard telling someone you trust about how you ended your date horribly.

“with…? oh! you tried to… oh, wow.” wonyoung seemed to be in complete disbelief. she probably thought you were too much of a prude to even try to initiate sex with a girl you had a massive crush on. you groaned and hid your face in your hands as wonyoung processed your words, and it was then you decided that hey, you weren’t completely innocent! hell, you’re not even a virgin, you should start there! but alas, you resorted to burying your face in your hands and groaning.

“i-it’s okay! what exactly happened?” wonyoung puts a hand on your shoulder for consolation.

“we… i took her here because i didn’t want us to separate just yet so we went into my room and… we kissed,” you remember how ryujin’s lips felt against your skin, how they tasted on your tongue but instead of feeling euphoric over it, there was almost a tinge of dismay that you associated with it. “i-it was getting a bit intense so we took it to the bed and… i don’t know. i didn’t… i didn’t like it when she touched me. and it’s not like i was scared of her or anything like that… i just—”

looking at wonyoung, you found yourself at a loss of words. there is no way you can admit everything you have been thinking about to her. despite her suspicious actions and lingering stares towards you, she wasn’t actually going to entertain such a disgusting act, right?

“hey, hey… don’t beat yourself up over it. you were going to take a huge step! it’s normal to chicken out when it comes to things like that. but i didn’t think it would take such a toll on you… come here,” wonyoung wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you close. in her embrace you start to relax a bit, although your heart is hammering against your ribcage and you refuse to hug her back. who knows what you might think of doing and where your hands might end up?! even when wonyoung was too close, you refused to move an inch. even when she rested her face in the crook of your neck and inhaled your scent. “did she try pushing you to do it?” she asked. her breath tickled your neck. it took you everything in your power to not whimper.

“n-no… she backed off. i felt so bad, unnie… she thought it was her fault and she went home guilty because of me.” you said with a quivering voice. you didn’t want to hurt ryujin like this. how could you even face her on campus and tell her that the reason you didn’t let her touch you any further was because the thought of having sex with her made you feel like you were doing something wrong?

“no, no, ryujin is kind. she’ll understand once you give her a proper explanation about it all. you don’t owe her one, of course, but if it’s bothering you this much then maybe it would help,” wonyoung leans her back, brushes your hair back and giggles slightly at how cute you looked pouting. “you’ll be okay, (y/n)-ah. let’s take your mind off of it, alright?” wonyoung kisses your forehead. at this point, you thought you were safe. as wonyoung leaned back on the side of her bed, you rested your head on her chest and allowed her to caress your side all she wanted. you were actually feeling much better about it all too!

and then wonyoung reaches into her skirt pocket and pulls out your pair of the matching bracelets you bought a week ago.

“you dropped this in the hallway when we were taking all of our bags upstairs after we went shopping,” wonyoung smiles fondly at the bracelet before turning her head and looking at you. it was her usual ‘sweetheart smile’ that you’ve come to know and love, but there was something sinister hiding behind her eyes that made you hold your breath for what she might say next. her hand felt cold against your skin—you weren’t even aware that she had slipped it underneath your shirt until now. “i was going to return it to you after i got all my stuff sorted out… but if my ears were working correctly that time… you were a bit busy.”

oh, fuck. she heard that?

as if she can read your mind, wonyoung nods. “mhm. i heard you. loud and clear,” a sadistic look takes over her expression as your blood runs cold. “i was right about you, (y/n)… i knew i wasn’t going crazy with all those hints that you were dropping all this time…” you don’t think wonyoung realizes how terrified you were at this moment. what was she going to say to you next? what was she going to do? and how the fuck were you going to explain everything to her? wonyoung takes your wrist and clasps the bracelet there before taking your chin in her hand and making you look up at her.

god, you must’ve looked pathetic. what with your eyes brimming with tears and the genuine fear they held in them. wonyoung doesn’t seem too bothered by the fact that she caught her younger step sister masturbating to the thought of her yet, judging by how she looks quite flattered instead. something inside you was hoping that she would just let it pass as a little joke and forget about it. as long as you get to hear her tell you that you shouldn’t think about things like that again, then you can move on peacefully and continue to be her lovely little sibling. but that… doesn’t seem likely. not when wonyoung raises your hand to her lips and kisses your knuckles, then kisses your wrist just a few seconds longer before putting your palm against her cheek, smiling at you so sweetly.

“i’m so happy you feel the same way as i do,” wonyoung said. before you could even process what she just said in your head, wonyoung leans closer to you until your faces were merely inches apart. your breath catches on your throat at the lack of distance, making you flinch back a bit. “it’s because of me, right? you couldn’t bring yourself to have sex with ryujin because you wanted me… don’t you, baby?” wonyoung places her hands on either side of you so she would have you trapped. when you don’t answer her quick enough, she tilts her head and gives you a kiss on the cheek… before her lips continue on kissing down your neck.

her kisses were pillow-soft. it was as if no matter how much she wanted you, she was still giving you room to completely push her away and run for your life. and you know what? you probably should. deep in your heart, you wanted to scurry away from her and lock yourself away from the world to completely forget that all of this even happened… but instead, you sat there. so awfully still that even wonyoung got frustrated by your lack of movement but regardless, she kissed you. she stops at the crook of your neck, nestling her face there for a moment. “you’ve always smelled so good…” she whispered.

wonyoung raises her head, finding herself chuckling lightly at how petrified you were. “don’t pretend to be so innocent. if you really gave a shit about all of this—about us being a ‘family’—you wouldn’t have shown your face here in the first place. you want this to happen… isn’t that right?”

you knew she was right. and what’s worse is that she knew she was right. that’s why she didn’t have a problem closing the distance and catching your lips with hers. if you weren’t going to answer her questions, then she might as well make you use your mouth for something else! you feel wonyoung smile into the kiss when you start returning it. it makes you sick how good this all made you feel… but you quickly forget about all of that once wonyoung slips her tongue inside your mouth, eager to explore every crevice like she has wished to do for a while now.

wonyoung places a hand on your thigh, and every ounce of hesitation you had evaporates into nothing as you cup her cheeks with both hands, kissing her back. wonyoung moans and your heart skips a beat, even more so when she pulls you closer towards her until her back meets the side of her bed again. and once you were straddling her, wonyoung immediately pulled your shirt off. she even stops the kiss just to lean back and rake her eyes all over your body. you don’t feel intimidated under her stare anymore—all of those feelings of insecurity and self-consciousness have dissipated into nothing as soon as she kissed you. now you only wanted her… and luckily enough, wonyoung was planning on giving you just that and more.

“i thought about fucking you in that changing room, you know,” you feel one of wonyoung’s hands glide across your back slowly, only stopping to unclasp your bra and throw it away to the side. her cold hands grasp your tits, squeezing softly and pressing her thumbs down your erect nipples. you bite back a whimper. “i was so close… do you know how hard i fought against myself knowing you were naked and the only thing stopping me was that damn privacy screen? i think we’re both lucky that i had some sense of decency and didn’t fuck you in a public space.” unconsciously, you rock your hips back and forth on her thigh, seeking for any sort of friction to ease the aching in your core.

wonyoung grins, “so eager… think you can be good for me and be patient, hon?” she asked. you wanted to say fuck no. you needed release and you needed it now but you knew wonyoung would probably fuck you better if you followed her every word.

so you nodded, “y-yes… i can do that, unnie.”

to get you riled up a bit more, wonyoung leaves a trail of hungry, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and across your collarbone until she wraps her warm mouth around your nipple. she hums approvingly of your whimpers which soon turn into blissful moans when she starts using her tongue, flicking and rolling your hardened bud in her mouth. wonyoung slots a knee in between your legs, squeezing your ass as you pressed down and start humping her thigh with the kind of desperation one would only see in a pathetic virgin eager to get bred. wonyoung sneaks her hand inside your shorts which you don’t feel until she presses a finger against your clit. with the added stimulation, it was hard to keep your voice low.

you had no idea who was home at this point in time. what if norae and sunhee hear you? or worse, what if your parents hear you?! wonyoung didn’t seem to care, however. in fact, with how hard she sucked on your nipple and how she rubbed your clit with her fingers, it was like she wanted you to make sounds. a death wish, yes… but perhaps one you were willing to fulfill.

“off,” wonyoung simultaneously tugs your shorts and underwear down. her eyes glinted with desire as her eyes traveled down from your stomach to your pussy—desperate and dripping, but not exactly ready for her yet. “did you have fun touching yourself to me that day?” wonyoung takes note of how tightly you held onto her shoulders, how your lips have formed a thin line with how hard you were trying to hold back from whining and pleading for her to touch you already.

“yes, i did…” you nod. being completely naked and vulnerable but looked at and seen like some irreplaceable treasure made you all the more desperate to please wonyoung. she was most likely expecting so much from you—she was risking a lot after all: her father’s happiness, your mother’s trust, and your entire relationship as siblings… you didn’t want this to be a waste of time for her.

you gently pushed her hair back and sat comfortably on her lap while she eyed you down with a whole lot of feelings in her eyes that you haven't seen before. and for a moment, you thought that you could have your way with her, even just for a little bit. tilting her head and kissing her softly, squeezing the back of her neck and hearing her sweet moans, allowing you to push her back against the side of her bed and get your hands as far as her toned stomach. the upper hand was only temporary since as soon as you felt wonyoung palming your pussy, you were back to being a whiny, adorable mess.

“why don’t you finish what you started, (y/n)-ah?” wonyoung looks up at you, batting her eyelashes and smirking. she was excited, but you didn’t quite understand what she meant. considering she was being such a tease and barely doing anything to your needy cunt, it was very hard to focus! “turn around.” wonyoung says. you didn’t have time to be confused or to question her as she makes you turn your back on her herself. now you were sitting in between her lap and facing the mirror across the two of you, and only then you finally got what she meant.

but that doesn’t make wonyoung telling you exactly what she wants to see any less hot though.

“show me how you did it.” wonyoung says, her beautiful brown eyes piercing through yours as you intently stared at her using the mirror. she spreads your thighs apart and puts your pussy on full display in the mirror for the two of you. god, you almost wanted to crawl in a hole, but at this point, you were too horny to stall anything. you started by doing exactly what you did that day: gently massaging your clit as a means to get yourself wetter. from behind you, you hear wonyoung’s breathing get heavier and although you weren’t looking in the mirror at the moment, you felt her state burning through your skin.

it doesn’t take long for wonyoung to make a move herself. she leaves a trail of kisses from your shoulder, your neck, and all the way behind your ear. her hands cup your breasts again, adding onto your pleasure by squeezing and pinching your sensitive nipples. “don’t be shy now, pretty.” using one of her hands, wonyoung reaches down and spreads your lips apart for you, clearly asking for more than just whatever you were doing.

you had to admit that this was pretty nerve-racking. you rarely touched yourself and when you did, it was just… this. you didn’t have any toys to help you, you didn’t know much beyond what people called ‘vanilla sex’, and as embarrassing as it was to say it, you’ve never known what you felt on… well, the inside. you wanted to believe that wonyoung would just take pity on you and fuck you already but she had a surprising amount of patience despite the pure lust that radiated from her. finding no other choice in the matter, you slowly inserted a single finger inside your cunt.

“see? doesn’t that feel so much better?” wonyoung’s laugh was music to your ears. it was enough to get you moving—sliding your finger in and out of your pussy at a slow pace, getting a feel of what you liked just before you went faster. a string of moans left your mouth as you steadily fucked yourself right in front of wonyoung, who was quite literally having the best time of her life watching such a pretty thing like you do all of this for her. of course she wanted nothing more than to have you crying and whining herself but she also wanted to appreciate the show you were putting on.

you slid another finger inside you and you ended up moaning a bit too loudly for your liking that wonyoung had to clamp a hand around your mouth. she shushes you gently and whispers to you to go slower. while it would be nice to see your legs shake as you squirt all over her carpeted bedroom floor, wonyoung wanted to do that to you herself. and of course you obeyed even though it was disheartening to lose that sweet pressure building up in your abdomen. you didn’t know how long wonyoung was going to have you fuck your own pussy while she just watches, but for now you were fine with it.

this felt good. getting to unwind like this after a fucking whirlwind of a week was just what you needed, alone or otherwise. actually, you probably wouldn’t be loving this too much if you were just by yourself. wonyoung kept you in line, made sure you were calm, guiding you to make this moment last longer so both of you can fully enjoy it before any sense comes back to either of you to stop all of this.

wonyoung, with her left hand, parts your lips with her fingers and slides two inside your mouth. she doesn’t need to tell you what to do; you just sucked on her digits obediently without question. she pushes her fingers deeper, making you gag and pull back a bit but she keeps her fingers inside of your mouth. after making sure your drool was dripping down her palm, she pulls her fingers out and then kisses you softly. oh, your mind was but a haze. wonyoung’s kiss was a drug on its own—intoxicating and addicting. you couldn’t have enough of it.

you weren’t sure which feeling you wanted to focus on. your quickly-building climax, wonyoung’s hungry kisses, her nails digging deep down your inner thigh, or… oh, fuck, she was sliding her spit-covered fingers inside you… while you were busy fucking yourself! the sudden stretch of your pussy caused by wonyoung’s fingers being inside you as well as your own nearly makes you wail, and that is when you realized why wonyoung was kissing you. to shut you up. because she knew you were going to be so loud. with four fingers inside of your cunt, how could you stay quiet?! especially when wonyoung made sure to match your pace, but making sure she was knuckle-deep inside before pulling out then doing the same thing again and again.

“ahh… mmn—unnie..! oh, go—” a pathetic squeak slips past your lips when wonyoung uses her thumb to press against your clit. she kisses you harder, doing everything she can to conceal every noise coming from you but ultimately, she’s enjoying every fucking second of this. the secrecy of it all, the scandal, the thrill of being caught… gosh, if the two of you weren’t ‘siblings’, she would have no problem making you scream and letting the housekeepers hear every goddamn vowel that leaves your mouth.

it was too much. you pulled your fingers out and grabbed wonyoung’s wrist in an attempt to at least slow her down, but it does nothing. having more room to move now, wonyoung only quickens her pace even further. and with her free hand, wonyoung grabs your jaw in a tight grip and forced you to look at you reflection in the mirror just so you can watch how well you were being fucked. wonyoung’s fingers being freakishly long didn’t help at all; her fingertips reached farther inside you than yours did and every time she hits a certain spot inside you, you lose more of your sanity. soon enough, a knot forms in your stomach and wonyoung knew.

well, with your face all scrunched up in both pleasure and pain, how could she not know?

“do you think ryujin could have made you feel better than this…? i know you better than anyone, (y/n)… so don’t feel so bad about her not getting to fuck you. unnie has everything you need…” wonyoung couldn’t believe how soaked she has gotten over the past few minutes she has been fingering you. but this wasn’t about her at all. her pleasure comes after yours, and she was counting on you to do anything and everything to return this favor to her… that thought alone makes her clench around her drenched panties. she couldn’t fucking wait to use your mouth.

“mmh…! u-unnie, i’m—ahh… i’m gonna cum.. please let me…” you whimpered weakly.

wonyoung had intended to edge you until you were a babbling, crying mess. but that would’ve been too mean. especially right now, when you were so cute squeezing her wrist and pouting at her. “you’re so cute… what am i gonna do with you?” wonyoung plants a kiss on your temple before increasing her pace. your moans get higher, the knot gets tighter, and it’s harder and harder to hold yourself back from screaming her name. wonyoung buries her fingers deep, and the pressure in your stomach finally breaks.

but oh, wonyoung made sure you made a mess. pressing her fingers against your clit and rubbing rapidly so you’d squirt everywhere, a sick look on her face forming while she watched you. “you’re so good… i won’t have to punish you ever, hm? because you’re unnie’s good girl, right?” wonyoung smiled sincerely when you agreed and nodded. sure you were most likely lightheaded and barely knew what you said yes to, but wonyoung knew that you meant it.

it takes you weakly pushing her hand away for her to finally stop, letting you calm down and try to come back to her. the whole time you were catching your breath, wonyoung sucked quietly on her drenched fingers while staring at your gaping, spent cunt. and then she started to wonder; when the day ends and another one starts, if she were to just walk up to you and your room and kiss you… would you let her do it? what if she just got lucky today? what if you grow to hate her for all of this? for not respecting your feelings for ryujin and taking you for herself? no… no, no, she can’t lose you like that.

“are you hurt?” wonyoung asked after a while. she snuggled closer to you, keeping you warm as you were still butt-naked sitting in between her thighs. you shook your head, not even finding any energy in you to reply with your voice. it was strange… you thought wonyoung would be more concerned considering that she just fucked you nearly out of your mind… but you should’ve known better. this was a completely new side of her that you were hilariously unfamiliar with, and you being shocked when wonyoung suddenly pushes you to be on all fours was enough proof of your stupidity.

you should feel violated. this was beyond everything that you expected to do with wonyoung, and not to mention that she didn’t look like she planned on asking for you permission to fuck you again… but you didn’t say a word. didn’t make a sound. didn’t even question anything when you felt wonyoung squeeze your ass before palming your once-again dripping pussy from behind. you liked this. when the time comes for you and wonyoung to answer for this situation, you can’t even say that she used some sort of manipulation tactic to get you to submit to her.

no. you needed this. you wanted this. and you loved it all.

with your vision being limited to only seeing your hands on the floor or your reflection in the mirror, it was hard to try and prepare for anything she was going to give to you. when wonyoung pushes two fingers inside your cunt so suddenly, you gasped loudly. it was easy for wonyoung to slip in and out of you; you were so wet that there was nothing that could stop wonyoung from having all the fun in the world. the faster wonyoung fucks you, the harder you had to bite down your lip. your head drops to your arms and beautiful moans leave your mouth but this time… they’re all for wonyoung to hear.

“unnie… unnie, it feels s-so—ah! so good… please, faster.. faster…” and with you being so cute, wonyoung was sure to grant your wish pretty quickly. she was getting extremely impatient herself… the wet sounds of her hand meeting your pussy, your enchanting voice, and the lovely way you moaned her name when she steadily inserted her thumb in your tight hole… god, it was getting harder and harder for wonyoung to not turn you over and ride you until you were both crying from exhaustion and ecstasy.

“the very first time i saw you… i called dad stupid in my head. stupid for bringing such a pretty and nice girl into this family because i knew i wasn’t going to last long before i did something idiotic like this…” wonyoung curls her fingers inside you while simultaneously grabbing your hair and pulling it up, forcing you to look at your face in the mirror again. “see? such a fucking angel. how could i ever resist?” and before you knew it, you were gagging on her fingers again. and you were getting desperate for another release, pushing back against wonyoung and meeting her thrusts.

“you made my dreams come true by coming here, you know… i’m just thanking you now. i’ll thank you again later. and tomorrow. and whenever i want.” after seeing just how willing you were to do such a thing with her, wonyoung simply couldn’t wait for all the things the two of you could do now. even if it will cost her everything.

“mmfh.. i lah… agh.. i love you, unnie..” it was hard to speak with her fingers stuffed in your mouth, but wonyoung heard those magical words loud and clear. you were visibly exhausted, and your body was weak to the point you couldn’t even keep yourself upright… but you made sure your ass was propped right up for wonyoung to fuck you without any complications. wonyoung had pulled her hand out of your mouth and allowed you to lay half of your body down, the side of your face pressed against the floor as drool dripped out of the corner of your mouth.

you think wonyoung was now holding your hand, whispering encouragement and praises in your ears that kept you somewhat conscious while she made good use of your pussy. another deep dive of her fingers inside you and you cum for the second time with a long, soft whimper that was more than enough for wonyoung that she didn’t feel like making you suffer through another round. you’ve gone limp on the floor; barely having any energy to keep your eyes open. you felt your juices seeping out of you once again, drenching your thighs and of course the soft carpet, but wonyoung made sure to not let the slick dripping down her hand go to waste!

a lot of the things that happened afterwards were a blur. wonyoung helped you to her bed, cleaning you up and making sure you were hydrated and clothed before tucking you in as the sun was starting to set. in direct contrast to how she handled you while she fucked you, wonyoung seemingly reverted back into her gentle, loving older sister self as she took care of you. her arm carefully draped over your waist and kept you warm better than her blanket, and even your own. occasionally, you would feel her kiss the back of your neck and it would give you goosebumps. she intertwined your fingers and at the time, you felt the need to kiss her hand… so you do. and wonyoung must’ve liked that because she pulled you closer to her and held you tightly.

you were torn. torn between wanting to face all of your feelings and the consequences of what you just did with wonyoung, but also wanting to hope that you’d fallen asleep in your bed after sending ryujin home and that all of this, having sex with your step sister and laying half naked on her bed in her arms, was just an insane wet dream. but if it was, surely enough it would have been a thousand times harder to face wonyoung with your attraction towards her kept hidden. although it was like it was necessarily better this way; how the fuck are either of you going to have a normal conversation with each other after this? with your parents?!

the idea made you scared. mr. jang was a man with power and influence; if you anger him (which is very likely considering you, his stepdaughter, slept with his biological child), what could he do to you? to your future? and what would your mother think of you if she were to find out about this?

perhaps wonyoung heard your soft sobs because she immediately made you turn around, “hey… what’s wrong, (y/n)?” she takes a hold of your face and wipes your tears away with her thumbs. you couldn’t believe how confident she was that both of you would get away with all of this scot-free. but then again, she is jang wonyoung. she wouldn’t go through with everything she just did if she didn’t have a solid plan in the back of her mind.

or maybe she didn’t need any plans. wonyoung simply loved you and acted on that. maybe she was scared too. she wasn’t perfect, after all. underneath the confidence, the money, and the strong walls she has built around herself, wonyoung was still a softie at heart. she acknowledges that this was a bad thing to do, that this was indeed a mistake… but at the end of the day, the deed has been done and all she can do now is to make sure that she protects you from everything that might come after.

that is what she swore to do the night you became a part of her family, after all.

“listen… dad, mother, ryujin, and everything… we’ll worry about them tomorrow, okay? i love you. we’ll face everything together.” wonyoung gives you a kiss on the forehead, and you automatically snuggle back in her arms and hide your face in her chest. you ended up falling asleep to the sound of her heartbeat and the way she ran her hands through your hair… it ended up being the most relaxing sleep you’ve had in this bizarre week. every lingering thought you had about ryujin just about faded away into nothing once you got completely lost in wonyoung’s dreamlike embrace.

one thing was for sure: you felt a lot braver with the promise of your loving step sister once again proving that everything and anything she will ever do for you are good things.

[lockefanfic]

Truth

The following can be considered an alternate ending to the Business Trip series - although it can just as easily be read on its own. :)

---

The first few weeks together as an official couple were wonderful. Honeymoon phase and all that. Moving in together, domestic bliss. Fucking like rabbits, of course. But problems arose - became noticeable, and then unavoidable. Two of them, actually.

Problem 1: Your job.

Problem 2: Her job.

---

Problem 1: You’d thought business trips were a thing of the past. They weren’t.

You were happy to put the little adventure you’d had in Seoul and Tokyo behind you. Since then you’d done your best to decline any opportunities to engage in similar trips - feigning illness, sending underlings in your place, handling as many meetings as you could remotely. These days your life consisted of long, sometimes draining days at the office - a far cry from the brushes with danger and law enforcement that characterized your most recent trip overseas. Your days at work were boring and mundane now, but you were at home, and that was what mattered.

Home, after all, was where she was.

Regardless, the allure of another trip still came calling every now and then, tempting you, enticing you into spending a couple of weeks or months overseas where anything could - and sometimes did - happen. 

Sometimes that allure took physical form. Sometimes it came waltzing into your office wearing a tight blouse and a pencil skirt. Sometimes it was named Shin Ryujin. Other days it was named Hwang Yeji, or Lee Chaeryeong. Today, as with most days, it was named Shin Yuna.

“Ryujin and Yeji are on-site in Busan, and Chaeryeong is in Seoul, waiting for her flight to join them. Lia sustained injuries in our last operation and isn’t medically cleared for this one, but she’s recovering well. Ryujin has begin surveillance on our competitors’ teams - codenamed New Jeans and Le Sserafim - and she is ready to proceed with next steps once you arrive,” Yuna says, eagerness evident in the tone of her moderately Korean-accented english. “Shall I make travel arrangements for us to join them?”

For the first time since she walked into your office you look up from the reports on your laptop. You don’t miss the small bite the young woman is giving her lower lip, nor the way she has crossed her legs and begun leaning her wide hips against your desk. It takes more restraint than you were willing to admit not to steal a glance at her long pantyhose-clad legs and the tight charcoal pencil skirt they led to. You find the self-control to keep eye contact with your eager young executive assistant, even if her body language and tone of voice made her intentions clear and easy to read.

“Give me a second to finish reviewing Ryujin’s report,” you answer, returning your full attention to the screen in front of you. “I’ll confirm whether I need to be on-site by end of day, and if so you can make the necessary arrangements then.” 

Despite her best efforts, Yuna can’t hide the small twinge of disappointment that makes its way across her soft features. She’d been looking forward to the thirteen hour flight with you and the opportunities it would present.

“Oh, and…” she begins, her tone a little less upbeat now that you’d at least temporarily dampened her excitement. “You have a visitor. It’s Detective-”

“Let her in,” you interrupt. Yuna frowns, offers a short bow - a lingering habit from her Korean upbringing - and steps back toward the door to your office. She swings it open, and you catch the look of disdain on her features when she waves in your visitor.

Im Nayeon pushes past Yuna and into the office. She gives Yuna a sharp look as she passes the younger woman, and even from your chair you can sense the venom in it. The detective sits down in the chair opposite your desk, legs and arms crossed. She is dressed plainly, in a short denim skirt and a leather jacket, the glimmer of her badge on a chain around her neck the only clue as to her profession. She drops a large paper bag onto your desk.

“Please let me know if you need anything else, sir-”

“That will be all, Yuna,” you answer. 

Before your executive assistant has a chance to close the door, Nayeon turns her head and squeezes in one last shot.

“Cancel his next hour, Miss-” 

“My name is Yuna,” the young woman at the door answers, crossing her arms, scowl painted on her lips.

“Whatever,” Nayeon retorts, flatly. “Clear his schedule for the next hour. Oh, and do be a dear and lock the door.”

Out of the corner of your eye you catch two things - the barely restrained scoff on Yuna’s lips, and the satisfied sneer on Nayeon’s. With one last look of scorn directed at the back of the detective’s head, the younger Korean woman closes the door with a little more force than was necessary. The click of the lock engaging follows shortly after, as does the heavier than usual click-clack of her heels as she stomps away in obvious irritation.

“You have a thing for executive assistants with hips,” Nayeon observes. “Although this one’s much more of a brat than the last one.”

“Be nice,” you say, although you can’t keep the smirk from appearing on your lips as you continue to scroll through the report on your laptop. “She grew up in Korea, so she’s useful whenever I’m in-country. And she’s not a bad person.”

“I know,” Nayeon relents. “But the more of a cunt I am to her, the more she gets off on being a little fucktoy for you. I bet she gets off on thinking that you’re fucking her without me knowing. I bet it makes her so wet.”

Your smirk turns into a slim smile, and it becomes difficult to keep your eyes on the report in front of you.

“Am I wrong?” she contests.

“No,” you admit, finally turning to give her your full attention. “In fact, I’m about to hop on a plane with her to Korea in a couple of days. I expect it will be an… eventful flight.”

“Good,” Nayeon states, satisfied. “I bet she’ll be a good little girl for you, now that she’s received another reminder of how much you need some time away from your queen bitch of a girlfriend.”

She smiles - this one warm, soft - the smile that caught you in its clutches all those years ago and never let go. She turns momentarily to face the door.

“Oh, yeah, baby, fuck, you’re so big in me, fuck me! Fuck, this is the best dick I’ve ever had!” she exclaims in faux-pleasure, ensuring she was loud enough for the exasperated executive assistant sitting just outside your door to hear. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

“We can fuck at home later. I just wanted to piss her off,” Nayeon admits, a sly smile on her lips. “Anyway, pull up House of the Dragon?”

“Already on it,” you answer, swinging your laptop screen around so you can both watch. Nayeon pulls containers of take-out sushi from the paper bag.

She swaps your salmon for her tamago.

She leans over your desk as she passes you your chopsticks. She gives you a warm kiss, and the smile she leaves on your lips stays there for the rest of the day.

---

Even after all these years, she never tired of the collar and its leash.

It was showing signs of wear, of course - the bright fire engine red had faded into a softer, paler shade, the chain was no longer as shiny, and there was more than one set of her teeth marks on it from particularly frisky sessions - but she never missed a chance to put it on when the mood struck, and you never missed a chance to put it on her.

For now you are content to let the chain dangle freely in your left hand, watching the light streaming in from the open window as it plays on its metallic links. The chain glimmers in the morning light against her pale, creamy skin, swaying and occasionally bouncing along with her movements.

The chair you are sitting on protests with the weight and movement the both of you make atop it. Her soft sighs and gasps - a far cry from the loud shouts and moans you knew she was well capable of - happily cancel out the furniture’s squeaking protests as she rides you atop it. Soft, sensual, slow. The perfect fuck for a perfect morning.

You do your best to just sit there and savour the moment, letting Nayeon do all the work as she grinded back and forth on your lap. As much as you enjoyed watching her bounce up and down atop you, taking your full length in and out of her body - taking special delight in the delicious bounce it gave her breasts and thighs - there was something to be said for the intimacy of the way she was riding you now, slowly and softly. It gave her a chance to grind her slick, swollen clit against your crotch, and while it only let a third or so of your cock slip in and out of her hot, slippery cunt with each entry and exit, each movement nonetheless caused a warm spike of pleasure to course up your spine as your cock moves around inside her.

She was so beautiful, so utterly ethereal and intensely erotic all at the same time - clothed simultaneously in perfect golden sunlight and slick sweat, saliva, and other fluids. She was ethereal beauty and dirty sex. She wore both, was utterly enrapturing in both, was equally comfortable in both.

You watch each movement of her body - a body you knew well, knew every peak and curve and valley of - and you never tired of it. You watch as her round, full thighs flex and work, as her tight core drives her lower body back and forth, as her small, perfect breasts sway and bounce. Her face is immaculate, soft features twisted and wracked by pleasure. Sweat glistens over all of it. It makes her perfect skin glisten and glimmer in the sunlight.

You take a moment to look over her shoulder at the dressing mirror behind her, relishing the sight of her back - the beautiful curve of her spine and the sweat dripping down that delicious valley; the round cheeks of her ass and the muscles beneath them as they work to fuck herself on your cock; the short glimpses of your balls as she moves back and forth, takes you in and out of her body. Even her hair, having started the morning pulled into a messy bun, has become disheveled and loose - but in a way that is enticing and alluring, glued to the back of her neck and upper shoulders by perspiration.

Your right hand, resting on her thigh, snakes a path up her body - up her chiselled abs, cupping a soft breast and delighting in the tightness of her nipple as you capture it with your thumb and index finger and give it a pull, a twist, a pinch. Her pussy pulsates in response around you. She is sighing and moaning her pleasure when your hand continues its journey, sliding up a sweaty neck until you reach the side of her face.

Her eyes, shut, drift open at your touch. 

You give the chain a jerk forward.

Her entire upper body crashes against yours at the sudden pull at her neck. Your lips find and capture hers, and for a few moments you share a passionate, heavy kiss. As your tongues duel you give her a slight thrust upward with your hips, timed to meet the apex of her grind - and she sighs into your mouth at the movement, eyes shutting again, nails digging into your shoulders.

Spurred by her reaction, you continue to thrust upward as best you can given your sitting position. Her cunt, already so wet and slick and hot, clenches around you with each thrust, welcoming you, taking you.

“Oh god,” she sighs, the first full words either of you have spoken in a while. “Oh god, I’m close-“

Her sentence breaks into a moan, a soft, wordless cry of pleasure as you continue your thrusts upwards into her body. She wraps her arms around your shoulders, burying your face against her warm, moist chest. You lick the sweat from between her dangling breasts. You savour each moan that leaves her mouth, heavy and hot, directly into your ears.

The chain drops from your left hand, its end falling with a soft clink onto the hardwood floor of your apartment. Forgotten for now, because the faux, pretend-ownership it represented was no longer needed, was perhaps never necessary.

She orgasms around you - pussy clenching, lungs emptying of breath as she cries her pleasure into your bedroom. Your hands find themselves clutching at her moist, sweaty back, hugging her to you, bringing your bodies as close together as possible.

“Your cum, inside me,” she hisses, her voice soft and almost vulnerable in your ear, still at the height of her orgasm. “Please, I want, I need it, please.”

Im Nayeon knew you - knew every part of what made you tick. She knew what you wanted to hear, knew when you wanted to hear it.

You thrust upward into her clenching, creamy cunt one last time. Every part of her body surrounds you, wraps itself around you: she buries your head into her chest, fingers interwoven into your hair, cradling you with her arms and legs as her cunt clenches and tightens around your cock. 

Your shaft spurts warm, thick cum into her. She lets a sigh leave her breathless lips with each pulse of your cock inside her, knowing each one was another rope of cum that would bind your bodies even further together.

Your fluids mix inside her, eventually sliding out between the pussy lips stretched tight around the base of your cock. It drips down your shaft, your balls, and onto the chair. You are sticky everywhere - on your sweaty chests, your slick thighs, but especially where you are joined together, your shaft still embedded hilt deep inside her. You are glued together, made one.

You sigh into her chest, and the nails that had dug furrows into your scalp now stroke it softly. The exhaustion hits you both at once, and for a few wonderful moments the only sound either of you can hear is the sound of heavy breathing.

Her hands eventually slide from your scalp. Her turn now to cradle your face in her hands. Your faces hover in front of each other, noses barely touching, half-lidded, pleasure-ridden eyes locked on one another.

For a moment her left hand moves to her neck, where she undoes and releases the clasp of the red leather collar. It slips from her body and falls to the floor.

“I belong to you,” she says, breathless, not needing some scrap of leather around her neck to convince you of it - not that she ever needed such a thing to begin with. Her hands cradle your face, palms on each cheek, like you are the most delicate thing in the world. Your arms wrap themselves even tighter around her soft, trembling torso. Your foreheads touch, your eyes close.

“I know,” you answer. “I always have.”

Later that morning, when she is snoring peacefully, you slip out of the bed. Your flight to Korea wasn’t until later that afternoon, and so you had some time to spare before you had to leave the house, and her, for god knew how long. Every part of you wanted to lie there in bed with her and savour every moment of it, not knowing when you’d next be able to do so - but you had decided the night before that something needed to be done, and there was no better time to do it.

You fire up the coffee maker - you’d both settled into specific domestic roles since moving in together, and you were almost immediately appointed Minister of Caffeinated Beverages - and take a seat at the kitchen island with your laptop.

A few minutes later, and you’d begun an email to JYP informing him of your intention to resign your position following the end of your next business trip.

Distance had taken her from you once, and it wouldn’t do it again.

---

“Is she being a good girl?”

“Yes, Nayeon,” you say, your answer somewhere between a sigh and a hiss as you press your phone close to your ear, ensuring only you could hear the voice on the other side of the call. You made sure to use her name, as she’d previously suggested, knowing what hearing it would do to the young woman you were currently sharing a hotel room with. 

Between your legs, Yuna gives the tip of your cock a swirl with the end of her tongue. Those large doe eyes glance up at you, the mention of your girlfriend’s name giving the topless young woman a small spike of wicked delight. You watch with a measure of your own satisfaction as she pumps your cock with one hand, the other fondling her own small, round breast and the tight nipple atop it. After a moment her hand drifts down her body, between her legs - and soon after she begins to sigh and moan around a mouthful of your shaft as she begins to pleasure herself.

“Good,” Nayeon continues. “I told you she would be. Did you fuck her on the plane, too?”

“Yes, we’ve started the operation. And yeah, Korea’s hot this time of year,” you say, keeping up the false pretence you both agreed upon.

“Let me guess - she’s on her knees? Are you fucking that pretty little mouth of hers?”

“Not yet,” you answer, “I think I’ll let the team continue to observe before we move.” Your eyes drift closed as the pleasure begins to build. You lean your head back slightly as the young woman between your knees increases her pace. What Yuna lacked in experience and technique, she more than made up for with enthusiasm.

On the line, you hear a soft sigh. A moment later, the sigh turns into a barely audible moan.

“What about you?” you ask. “Are you busy? How’s work?”

“Fine. I’m… alone. In a squad car.”

“On a stakeout?”

“We prefer the term ‘distanced surveillance,’ but yes, a stakeout.”

“You miss me?”

“Fuck,” you hear, followed by a soft hum. “Yes, I miss you,” she admits.

A thousand miles away, you smirk. The image of Nayeon alone, in her car, in an alleyway, a hand down her pants, touching herself to the sound of her boyfriend getting head from another woman - it aroused you more than the young woman between your knees, truth be told.

“Do you… miss me?” she asks.

You reach out with your free hand, cradling the side of Yuna’s head, running your fingertips through the bright red strands. She redoubles her efforts at your touch - she quickens her pace, her hand squeezing tighter around your shaft as her head continues to bob up and down its length.

“Fuck, I want you right now, Nayeon,” you hiss, knowing what repeating her name would do to the younger woman filling her mouth with your shaft. “I wish you were here.”

Between your legs, the moan Yuna lets out around your cock sends a delicious pulse of pleasure up your spine. On the line, Nayeon lets a similar moan escape her lips. 

“Tell me what you would do to me,” Nayeon says, tone low and deep, the way it was when she was desperate, needy. “I bet she’d do it for you.”

You bite your lip for a second - listening to Nayeon’s increasingly breathless sighs and picturing her becoming a writhing, wet little mess in her car, watching Yuna try and fail to wrest your attention away - taking it all in, savouring every second of the two women, a thousand miles apart, each doing their best to pleasure you in their own way.

“I’d pull your mouth off my cock,” you say, gripping the base of Yuna’s ponytail and easing her off your shaft. She looks up with you with those large doe eyes of hers, momentarily confused, temporarily disappointed at the sudden emptiness in her mouth - until she quickly catches on to your intentions.

“Mmm, more,” Nayeon says, on the verge of a plea.

“I’d tell you to strip, and get your cunt on my cock like a good little girl.”

And just as she predicted, Yuna does exactly that - peels off ridiculously short denim shorts she wore, along with the flimsy scrap of string beneath it that passed for a thong. She climbs atop you, straddles your waist, reaches between your bodies, grasps your slick cock and spends just a second rubbing your head against her dripping, slick lips.

And then she takes you inside her. On the line, Nayeon hears that unmistakable gasp you made whenever you entered her own cunt, and it drives her crazy. Her fingers work quickly between her legs. 

A thousand miles away, you watch as Yuna bounces her young, tight little body on your cock - up and down, up and down, up and down. She is rough, fast, impatient, with little technique but plenty of need. 

Your free hand grips a thigh before snaking up her torso, gripping a soft, bouncing breast and pinching the taut nipple between two fingers and giving it a slight slap from the side that elicits a yelp of pleasure from the young woman. Your cock stretches her tight little cunt with each entry, filling her up, making her need more, want more, making her lose her control over her senses - not that she had much to begin with.

She is enthusiastic, needy - but she is clumsy in her movements, inexperienced, drunk on the idea of being used and fucked and not possessing the control to savour the moment, make it anything more memorable than a messy, quick fuck.

She sighs and moans. “Daddy,” she gasps, uncaring now of being heard on the line, forgetting that you were supposed to be fucking her on the down low, under your girlfriend’s nose. “Daddy please, I need… Daddy please, your cum, inside me, I want-”

You remind her of her place by closing your hand around her throat. Not enough to cause pain, but enough to remind her of what she was - a fucktoy. Something to warm your cock while you were apart from the woman you really wanted. A substitute for a woman a thousand miles away.

“Is she… is she good for you?” Nayeon asks, voice betraying the fact that she was bringing herself to the edge. She’s wet and squirming and sighing - but she’s alone, in her car, far away. 

Her fingers aren’t you.

Yuna continues to fuck herself on your cock, recklessly and wildly, her orgasm doing little to slow or stop her. You watch as she bites down hard on her lower lip, enough to draw blood, doing her best to keep herself from vocalizing the pleasure coursing through her body and only partially succeeding. You knew she’d be especially loud once you’d ended the call. You consider pretending to end it but leaving the line open, just to give Nayeon the satisfaction of hearing what Shin Yuna sounded like when she was being bent over the bed and having her tight little pussy pounded full of cum.

Your fingers tighten around Yuna’s neck as she bounces with an increasingly wild pace atop your cock. It forces her to slow down, forces her to submit to you and your needs. It reminds her of her place, reminds her who she was. It was necessary.

A makeshift leash. 

“She’s good, Nayeon,” you admit. “But she’s not you.”

---

“Alright, I have to admit - she’s pretty fucking perfect for you.”

“There’s something I never thought I’d hear you say,” you admit, looking up from your laptop and the report on it to give Shin Yuna a look. The young woman is lounging about on her stomach your hotel room bed, picking away at a plate of room service french fries. She’d taken a shower, but hadn’t bothered to put her clothes back on after you’d bent her over the bed and fucked a load into her.

“She’s a bitch, don’t get me wrong,” she continues, tone casual, as though she weren’t naked on her boss’ hotel room bed with his cum still warm inside her. “But she’s really fucking pretty, and she’s a cop? Man. That’s a dream girl for most guys, you have to admit.”

“I suppose,” you say, flatly. “Where are you going with this, Yuna?”

“Nowhere,” she answers, popping another fry into her mouth. “I was just curious, I guess.”

“About?”

“About why you’re not married yet. About why there aren’t little hellspawn baby versions of her running around in your life.”

The thought is finally enough to wrest your attention from the report for good. You give the young woman atop your bed a look.

“Listen, I think it’s hot as fuck to be some exec’s fucktoy,” Yuna continues. “I just want to make sure I’m not the thing that’s keeping him from marrying the love of his life or some shit.”

“You’re not stopping anything, Yuna,” you state, clearly, ensuring that she didn’t form any wrong impressions. You certainly didn’t want her to overestimate her role in your life. “Trust me,” you add.

“So then what is stopping you? You’re in love, aren’t you?” Yuna continues. “I’ve heard all about your past with her from the company grapevine, and Dahyun filled me in on the rest. College sweethearts finding each other again in a foreign land after so long apart - that’s cute as fuck. So why isn’t there a ring on her finger and a baby in her belly?”

You are struck temporarily wordless by your executive assistant’s forwardness, but the answer comes to you eventually.

“We’re not ready yet,” you state.

Yuna seems satisfied with your answer - or at least, isn’t curious enough to pursue it further. She gives you a shrug before she picks up her phone and begins to scroll on it. “Whatever you say, boss,” she says.

You return your attention to your laptop, and the resignation email to JYP that was sitting in your drafts. Sending it would mean leaving a career that, in many ways, had defined you. Yes, it had played a major role in bringing Nayeon back into your life, but were you really ready to give up the adventures in distant lands, not to mention all the romance and intrigue and excitement said adventures brought with them? 

Your cursor hovers over the send icon.

—

Problem 2: Her job.

As it turned out, JYP was more than happy to do whatever it took to keep you with the company - even if it meant giving you a tidy little promotion along with a promise to make any further business trips entirely optional. That was Problem 1 solved, then - leaving only Problem 2.

For the most part, Nayeon did a good job of keeping her work at work and not taking it home with her. Every now and then she’d vent about a particularly hard case she was on, or tell you about how something an actor did in a movie or tv show was wildly inaccurate compared to standard law enforcement procedures in the real world. By and large you could almost forget that she was a senior detective who regularly found herself in situations the average person might consider dangerous.

This was all to say that you only rarely gave Nayeon’s profession any thought, had you not noticed the breaking news report playing on the large TV screen in the JYP lobby on your way back from lunch one afternoon.

A reporter, apparently on scene, is speaking into the camera - but the TV is muted, and the captions are not turned on. Behind him civilians flee from a building under the guidance of two understandably anxious-looking uniformed police officers with their sidearms drawn. “Active hostage situation underway at downtown bank,” read the ticker. “Multiple hostages and casualties reported.” 

You were ready to give it no further thought aside from a passing sense of disappointment at the general state of crime in your country, had you not caught a fleeting glimpse of her on the screen.

In the background, behind the reporter, Nayeon steps into frame, her back to the camera - but it was unmistakably her. She flashes the badge around her neck to the two uniformed cops nervously holding the bank entrance door.

You watch as she draws her sidearm from the holster at her hip, racks the slide to chamber a round, and rushes into the building.

--

To say the next few hours were absolutely nerve wracking would be an understatement. 

Yes, you’d known that danger and the possibility of being hurt were part and parcel of being a member of active law enforcement. You were in the room when she was quite literally shot at close range in Seoul - a few layers of kevlar being the only thing that kept her from bleeding out on a dirty apartment floor.

You’d done your best to avoid having to deal with the reality that your girlfriend had a relatively dangerous profession. Maybe it was a subconscious thing - maybe your brain knew that living every day in fear of your girlfriend losing her life was not exactly conducive to a healthy relationship - or a healthy mental state.

Whatever the reason, it didn’t really hit home until that day. You’d never been so worried in your life, staying glued to the TV and your phone and news sites, pacing nervously alone in your apartment, grasping for any snippet of an update that would confirm she was okay, that she was safe. Needless to say she wasn’t picking up her phone, and a call to her precinct lieutenant went unanswered. 

You’d learn later that she was never in any actual danger - the gunfire she’d heard turned out to be warning shots fired into the ceiling to intimidate the bank staff. Nayeon, who’d been passing by the building randomly on her lunch break, had decided that civilians were in immediate danger and entered the bank on her own volition, cleared out the remaining customers from the bank lobby, and held down the hallway leading to the safety deposit boxes where the suspects were holed up until SWAT arrived. 

As the first responder to the scene, protocol demanded she remain on-site until it was resolved, explaining the length of her absence. She wasn’t actually in danger for very long, she’d later insist.

But she knew none of that when she rushed into the building, gun in hand. For all she’d known there could have easily been a suspect pointing an assault rifle down the hallway, finger on the trigger, just waiting for an eager young detective to stray into his sights. Moreover, her nine millimetre sidearm and lack of kevlar would’ve put her in a precarious position had they decided to make an escape using force.

Nonetheless, you were more relieved than you’d ever been in your life when she finally called to tell you she was on her way home - eight hours and forty-nine minutes since you’d made your first unanswered call to her cell phone (the first of thirty). 

Your heart let out the breath it had been holding for nine hours.

---

When she finally got home it was a lot, all at once. 

It was relief, mostly, and then reassurance, and comfort, followed shortly by an irresistible, intense lust. Danger never failed to get Im Nayeon going.

Within seconds of bursting through the door she was already on you, arms wrapped around your neck as yours wrapped around hers, lips searching for and quickly pulling yours into a deep, passionate kiss. Her leather jacket quickly leaves her body, her fingers immediately going to work on your button-up. While this hurried undressing was happening, when your lips parted long enough to draw in a breath, she’d tried, in broken sentences, to fill you in on what had happened.

You pieced enough together from her jumbled words to get an idea of how her day went, and how she wasn’t allowed to contact you until the incident was resolved. You wanted to ask her more, wanted to know more about what exactly happened, but she was in no mood for talking. Her lips and tongue stole the words and questions from your mouth before you could give them voice.

You are naked before long, stumbling into the bedroom and leaving behind a trail of haphazardly discarded clothing. She pushes you onto the bed with more force than you were ready for - silencing any objections by quickly climbing atop you, straddling your lap as you sit on its edge. Your mouths find each other and your tongues continue their frantic duel. Before long you slip from her lips to kiss a rough trail down her neck and to her chest.

You capture a breast in your mouth, closing your lips around her taut nipple. “Fuck,” she gasps, her hands quickly burying themselves in your hair, nails digging almost painfully into your scalp as you suckle from her tight bud.

A small part of you wants to slow down - perhaps even stop altogether - and tell her how damn worried you were for her, how the last nine hours were the longest nine hours you’d ever had in your life. But she steals your words again, this time with some of her own.

“Hard,” she hisses between gritted teeth, “I want it hard.”

She reaches between you, points your tip at her dripping entrance, and takes you inside her.

The long, hot sigh that escapes your lips finally rips them from her nipple. For the next few minutes you are powerless to do more than breathe heavily between her breasts as she rides you - those toned, full thighs of her working to throw her body up and down your shaft, taking you in and out of her tight, warm little cunt.

“Nayeon, I-” you begin, finally finding the wherewithal after a few minutes to look up at her.

She silences you with a finger to your lips. Her eyes are half-lidded, but hungry.

“Shut up,” she spits. “Just shut up.”

You were not one to argue, not when you were balls deep inside the most beautiful woman you’d ever known. And so you content yourself with watching as Nayeon took her pleasure from your body, using your cock like a toy, impaling herself with it over and over again until she became a mewling, moaning mess atop your lap.

You grasp her thighs, squeeze her bouncing breasts and tease the nipples atop them, slide your hand up her chest and up her throat and to her jaw before sliding your thumb between her lips for her to suck as you cradle the side of her pleasure-filled face - and throughout it all she rides you, pace relentless, merciless, hard.

Soon she is cumming - and she shows no sign of stopping, fucking herself through her orgasm even as her body is wracked by pleasure. She trembles, shakes, and quivers atop you - but it doesn’t stop her, doesn’t come close to fulfilling her immense need. She wants more. She needs more. 

Even as her orgasm radiates throughout her body and turns her into a wet, writhing mess, you hold her tight to you as you turn her over, putting her on her back atop the bed while you rise to your feet next to it. You wrap her legs around your waist, pull her hips onto yours, and continue to fuck her - hard, fast, rough.

She sighs and moans and cries and you are content to let her, content to let out some of the frustration and worry and fear you’d held inside you for most of the day on her tight, helpless little body. Her breasts bounce deliciously atop her heaving chest. Her fingers are claws, finding purchase wherever she can - on the bedsheets and your forearms, mostly. Eventually she reaches down and fingers her own clit, even as your cock pumps in and out between the lips of her cunt, just beyond her fingertips. Her eyes spur you on - telling you to keep fucking her, keep using her, all without saying a single word.

Your hands leave her hips, pulling on her legs until her calves are atop your shoulders. You continue to pound into her all along, this new position leaving her cunt open and exposed, rendering her helpless to do anything but take each hard, fast thrust you make into her body. It is almost callous, the way you fuck her, as though she were some whore and not the love of your life. You use her cunt. You make it yours, remind her who it belonged to. 

Her moans build, rising in volume and signalling another impending orgasm. You want to join her, and are about to give in, about to fill her-

“My ass,” she gasps. “Fuck my ass.”

She pulls her sweaty, still trembling body off you, denying you the warm slickness of her cunt. Her pussy drips onto the bedsheets as she wastes no time, getting atop the bed on her knees, upper body pressed against the bed. She reaches back with her hands, palming the cheeks of her ass, spreading them apart, showing you what she’d been keeping inside her.

And there it is, red silicone, glistening and slick with lube.

The sight of it takes your breath away. You let an unexpected sigh of pleasure leave your lips as you grasp the toy with your fingers, easing it out of her body slowly. She moans as it leaves her, perhaps in pain or pleasure or both. Soon it’s finally out. Every molecule in her body yearns to replace its absence.

Grasping your cock, slick and wet with her juices, you press the tip against her open, gaping hole - and begin to slide inside her.

You’d had her ass before, but never after she’d had a plug inside her, and it is sublime. Her ass immediately closes and tightens around you, and you think right then and there that you might cum. Your hand clutches her ass and left hip, fingers digging deep into the soft, yielding flesh, relishing the pleasure coursing through your veins but fighting it before it gets too intense, wanting to prolong this moment. She sighs and moans as she adjusts to your size. She trembles at the feeling of her ass being filled.

“Mmmm,” she hisses into the sheets, evidently having lost the ability to form words. She reaches back as far as she can with a free hand, her long fingers clutching your thigh. She pulls you toward her, and you oblige, pressing yourself as deep as you can until you are hilt deep.

“Do it,” she spits from between gritted teeth, “Fuck my ass. Hard.”

And so you begin - fucking Im Nayeon’s ass with hard, long strokes, using her tight, hot hole with the same tempo and speed as you did her cunt just moments earlier. She moans and shrieks and gasps into the sheets, the side of her face pressed against the bed, saliva dripping from a slack mouth. Her fingers are claws, digging into the sheets or your thighs or both, searching for something, anything, to ground herself amidst the constant pounding into the most vulnerable part of her body.

“Fuck, Nayeon,” you say, your brain unable to form much more than a curse and her name. She is so tight, so very hot - and she’d ensured the toy was well lubed before it entered her, so she was slick enough to make every entry and exit so delicious, so utterly sublime; a perfect cocktail of pleasure and pain all mixed into one irresistible sensation.

For the first time in a while Nayeon lifts her head from the bed, sweat pasting dark strands to the side of her face. She opens her mouth to say something-

But you reach forward, grasping her by the back of her neck, and slamming her back down onto the bed. She shrieks - partially in surprise, mostly in pleasure - as you resume pounding her.

“Shut up,” you spit. “Just shut up.”

The thick cotton bedsheets can do little to hide the long, deep moan of pleasure that leaves Nayeon’s lips as you impose yourself on her. She continues, not stopping for a moment, letting a drivel of wordless pleasure leave her mouth with each thrust you make into her body. She reaches a hand down, plays with her wet, slick clit even as you pound relentlessly into her ass - pleasuring her, hurting her - either way, making her yours.

The hand at her neck doesn’t leave her - it merely moves to her upper back, still keeping her pinned to the mattress, making sure she could do nothing more than take you. She lets you. She gives herself to you, lets you do what you want to her, because this - a rough, hard fuck - was what she wanted, what she craved.

It doesn’t take her long to orgasm, with her fingers on her clit and your cock pounding hard into her asshole. She tightens even more around you. She screams her pleasure into the bedsheets.

She clenches around your cock when she cums. It sends you over the edge, and you push yourself as deep as you can into Im Nayeon’s ass before you cum, filling her depths with thick, hot semen. Her moans turn into whimpers and then sobs, and you think for a moment that she might be crying.

You want to stay there, as you often did after you came inside her. You want to relish the moment and the sight of your cock embedded inside her ass and the feeling of her body wrapped around yours. But the accumulated physical and mental exhaustion of the day hit you all at once, and you collapse atop her, your arms only barely keeping you from crashing onto her back as you land on your elbows, still hilt-deep inside her.

You find the strength to bring your mouth to her ear. Filthy sex and dirty fucking aside, she had to know.

“I belong to you,” you say.

“I know,” she answers. Beneath the sweaty, messy hair and heavy breaths, Nayeon smiles.

—

The next morning, while you are still asleep, she wakes up early to make breakfast. She rarely cooked - every food delivery driver within a ten mile radius knew how to get to your apartment by heart - but when she did it was for special occasions. Or, in this case, a form of apology for making you worry so much the day before.

She’s stumbling towards the kitchen - she was understandably more than a little sore in places that made walking difficult - when she catches a glimpse of her old criminology textbooks on the hallway bookshelf. 

She was a fairly sentimental person, and despite your efforts she wouldn’t get rid of the old, heavy texts. She insisted that they were a part of what made her who she was, and wanted to keep them as a reminder of how far she’d come in her career; privately, she kept them to remind herself of those hard months when you’d left to join JYP all those years ago, and how much she missed being away from you. Those months were difficult, and she’d turned to her career as a way of coping. Those months were instrumental in putting her on the path to becoming a detective, but they were also part of what drove her to Seoul to find you.

A thought strikes her as her eyes take in titles of the texts. She reaches out and lets her fingertips graze their worn covers, seeing in them a way to ensure her career would never worry you so much again.

---

And so the problems were solved. All it took was a few uncomfortable emails, a few months of occasionally stressful worrying and intense interviews, and two new job offers. Easy peasy.

You’d taken a job at a branch office of JYP that promised travel would be completely optional. Nayeon had quit the PD and become a professor in criminology at a local college. You’d moved out of the small downtown apartment that had been the home you’d shared for the past five years, and into a slightly more comfortable townhouse in the suburbs.

Time passed. Good days and bad days. She was there for all of them, making the good days sweeter and the bad days more bearable. She was home. Safe harbour and north star for each other.

You are both sitting in a cafe on a lazy Sunday morning - you’re reading a book and nursing a coffee while she’s grading some papers on her laptop. You loved many things about your relationship, but one of the things you appreciated the most was how comfortable you both were in silence. The years had given you both a familiarity that had often transcended the need for speaking. Most of the time, you knew what the other was thinking, even before they spoke.

Your presence was enough, and there was no need to fill the space between you with words for the sake of it.

After awhile you look up to her to find that she’d been watching you, apparently for some time.

“I think we’re ready,” she says, a warm, soft smile on her lips. 

She says no more, returning her attention to her laptop, but you know what she means.

You smile as you return to your book.

---

Im Nayeon could always surprise you.

You’d had her more times than you could count, but this night was different - it was important, special in a way none of the in-shower quickies or weekend-long marathon sessions were. Just when you’d thought sex and lovemaking could hold no more surprises, you are proven wrong.

“It’s you,” she sighs into your ear, her voice soft, still filled with pleasure, but with an undercurrent of emotion that you’d never heard in her before. One of her arms wraps itself around your back, the other buried into the hair at the back of your neck as you thrust in and out of her body. 

“Cum inside me,” she continues, breathless, words spilling from her lips in a long, drawn out hiss. “Fill me up. It has to be you. Breed me, put a baby in my belly. I want it- I want you. It has to be you. It’s only ever been you.”

“Nayeon,” you say into her ear, and when she replies with your own name you think it is the most beautiful thing you’d ever heard in your life. 

She is tight, wet, hot - she feels every bit as good as she did when you were teenagers fumbling awkwardly in an old dorm room, or when you were reunited old flames brought together by fate in Seoul, or when you moved in together and decided to build lives together. But it means more now. It means more now than it ever did.

“Give me a baby,” she says, half-moan, half-sigh. “Breed me, make me yours.”

Words you’d heard before, from the same lips, on many another night. But none like tonight, not when she meant them more than she ever did - this wasn’t pillow talk, an act meant to spice up a risqué encounter; no, this was much more. She meant every word, without pretence or facade. She meant it all.

“Nayeon,” you repeat, unable to say much else. The sound of her name on your lips draws a sigh from hers, sends a quiver up her spine that is pure pleasure and love. 

“It has to be you,” she whispers into your ear, the most intimate words she has ever spoken. “It was always you - I love you.”

“I love you too,” you say, every molecule of your body shouting the words, even if they left your lips as little more than a light gasp.

You thrust between her spread legs, and she wraps her thighs and arms around you, making the two of you into one. 

You fill her. She sighs, moans - and when your cheeks press against each other as you both lie there, breathing heavily - you can feel her cheeks pull her lips into a smile.

---

“It was always going to be you and me, wasn’t it?”

You are caught a little off-guard by her words - truth be told your mind was solely fixated on the humble sign outside your favourite sushi restaurant and the familiar but delicious culinary delights that awaited you. It’s a Friday night, and you were looking forward to a quiet dinner with her following a long, draining week of work. 

The choice of dining establishment was a foregone conclusion, and you had nothing on your mind other than settling into a simple but comforting meal with her. Grand statements of destined love weren't exactly on your mind - not this early in the evening, anyway.

But when you turn to her and find a soft, warm smile on her lips, you couldn’t help but agree. She doesn’t even turn to look at you - her gaze, like yours, is locked on the old, dingy, familiar restaurant sign.

“Yes,” you answer, the word leaving your lips quickly, almost on instinct, almost on reflex, as though your body knew the truth - knew what you felt, in your innermost core. “It was always going to be you, Nayeon.”

She doesn’t turn her head to look at you. There is a slight deepening of the smile on her lips, a slightly deeper blush on her cheeks, but that’s it. She doesn’t need to read your face to verify or discern the truth in your expression. She is confident enough -  in the years you’ve spent together, in the trials and tribulations borne at each others’ side, to know the truth in your words.

She feels it in the way you clutch her hand, the way you hold her close in your most intimate moments, the way you brush stray hairs away from her forehead when you kiss her good morning before heading out the door to work. 

She sees it in the slight swell in her belly, and the family you were building together.

She knows all this. She feels it all, deep inside herself where nothing else exists except you and her and the home you’ve built with shared memories. She knows it is all true, always will be.

When you enter the restaurant you are greeted warmly with a smile and hug by the waiter - he’s become a good friend in the years since your escapades in Tokyo and Seoul. From behind the counter, Jisoo looks up from her prep work to wave and smile widely. She leaves the counter for a moment to greet you both, revealing the full roundness of her belly. She waddles awkwardly over, exchanging hugs, confirming plans for next week’s gender reveal dinner party for their child.

With one hand, Nayeon cradles Jisoo’s full belly. Perhaps unconsciously, her free hand hovers over her own, a warm, thoughtful smile on her lips.

Eventually, Jisoo shuffles adorably back to the counter to finish her vegetable prep, promising to come back later to chat. The waiter shows you to your table, leaving you both two cups of tea. 

He doesn’t leave a menu, because he already knows your order.

You tap the chest pocket of your jacket as you take it off and drape it over the back of your seat, making sure the small box and the engagement ring within were still there.

Nayeon cups her tea in both hands before taking a small sip. She finally locks eyes with you, although she doesn’t say anything. She knows she doesn’t have to. She’s content just to smile, content to reach her hand over the table, palm up, wanting nothing more than to feel your hand in hers.

Maybe she knew what was coming. Maybe she caught a glimpse of the box in your nightstand drawer, or noticed an open tab on your browser for a local jewelry store. Maybe she read it in your face at some point today, in the way you moved or the words you chose. She was a former detective and current professor of criminology, after all. She’d made a living out of reading people, and to her, you were an open book.

But it didn’t matter whether she knew it was coming or not, whether she would be surprised at all when, at the end of your meal, you got down on one knee in this restaurant where your relationship began and asked her to spend the rest of her life with you.

Because you both already knew, on some level had always known. It was always going to be you and her. And every trial and tribulation, every painful relationship with long-gone lovers, every day apart - it had all led to tonight.

Nayeon’s hand finds yours and your fingers intertwine.

Your heart warms at her touch.

---

Author’s Note: Good to be back ^^ Excuse any writing rust that was evident in this fic :( I actually had this alternate ending to BT mostly written awhile ago, but I'd been thinking about coming back to writing again and Nayeon's comeback gave me all the inspiration I needed to finally finish it.

Shoutout to @capslocked, whose work played a part in getting me back into writing. A special shoutout to his Tzuyu fic, which is probably one of my favorite smuts of all time - and I might have borrowed the phone sex idea from it. Love ya bud. Mimosa fic next pls k thx.

Stories and posts will be few and far between, but you’re always welcome to leave an ask. Thank you all for the love and support you've shown me over the past year. <3

[rosiehrs]

mutual misunderstanding — kim chaewon

kim chaewon x fem!reader

yn: "it was a mutual decision." chaewon: "no, yeah, she dumped me."

SUMMARY ⤻ in which two exes understand their breakup differently; one thinks it was a mutual decision and the other thinks she got dumped. ultimately leading to two different stories being shared which in turn led to denial, then to animosity, then to unnecessary flings, then to jealousy, but essentially and predominantly – leading to heartbreak.

CONTENTS ⤻ smau, non!idol x reader, wlw, university au, angst, crack, mutual pining, exes to lovers, slow burn, miscommunication trope

WARNINGS ⤻ dark jokes, strong language, suggestive jokes, self-doubt, suggestive content, somewhat toxic relationship, will add more in the future!

FEATURING ⤻ le sserafim, hwang hyunjin (skz), ning yizhou (aespa), shin ryujin (itzy), no yunah (i'll-it), son jiwoo (r u next), chanelle moon (r u next), nishimura riki (enhypen), special appearances from aespa, ive, p1harmony and more!

STATUS ⤻ planning and ongoing

UPDATES ⤻ whenever i have time!

PLAYLIST ⤻

PROFILES! HOT BY SVT. mummy daycare.

CHAPTERS

01. glare

02. ignore her

03. hostile..?

04. sister help

more to come...

taglist (closed) comment on this post or send an ask to be added! @fuckkkkkklol @unforgivenangel @sserabey @sewiouslyz @beepboopeeboo @winieter @wallfl9wer @dodokus @petruchiosstuff @pandafuriosa60 @yoontoonwhs @yizhoutv @sxnooluvr @haerinkisser @dni-unavailable @bbanghanni @eccobe @isanggayfrog @thefirstonetoeverlikemeback @skriri @pinxeajin @haerinsloverr @chaerybae @limbforalimb @urfriendlylocalidiot @perfectsunlight @chaesgirl @kyuusberry @masuowo @newhairnewjeans @uzumakioden @thefckghost @sanajuicee @realrintaro @flolio @emphobics @jeindall777 @justme-idle @xen248 @lilacura @aeriniee @ryujinbrat @vampcharxter @juliesblogs @lovefooi @doodlelibrary @gayforalll @heavy12345 @kpooper-wya @wonyoluvr

[myouicieloz]

Heartbeat

Shin Ryujin x reader

Synopsis: you’ve promised to take your best friend to an awaited party, located in a nearby city. Ryujin catches your eye, and you fall right into her web of plans, with the promise of having a good time once and for all.

Warnings: mentions of gangs, guns and drugs. smut. blood. violence. nsfw.

Word count: 13.8k

Notes: i thought abt this after watching ryujin’s solo mv! it was so good <3. this was a fairly new topic for me to write about, so I apologize if it’s poorly written or unrealistic. nevertheless, I had lots of fun writing it ˆˆ. english is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.

You don’t mind helping out your parents by working at the family’s Diner: there usually weren’t many customers, and days went by slowly without you being bothered.

“Hey, Y/n. Can I grab another soda?” Your best friend asks, brushing her hands in front of your face to get your attention. Facing you from the other side of the diner’s endless counter, Chaeryeong looks like a hyper child, standing up from her seat to take a look at the soda machine, placed behind your frame.

You roll your eyes at her, simply grabbing the large cup she hands you and filling it up with Coke Zero, this time. “Here.”

“Awn, man, come on!” She protests, grunting. Lets her head fall back. “Coke Zero tastes like shit, Y/n! Give me something tasty, damn.” Chaeryeong turns to the few other customers, gesticulating, “What does a girl have to do to get the good stuff around here? Stop with the misery!”

She has her finger pointed at you, to which you giggle. You’ve known Chaery since your diaper days, with her living in the house in front of yours, and the two of you have been best friends ever since. Her careless, playful nature provides a nice balance to your calm, responsible one. You love her to pieces, which means you are always taking care of the dark-haired girl, in many ways.

“You’ve reached your daily quota of sugar.” You don’t even look at her as you answer, busy giving an elder woman her exchange in cash. “And don’t make those faces. I might as well just give you water, from now on.” Smiling at the customer, you ignore your friend. “Thank you, ma’am! Have a pleasant day.” Chaeryeong gulps, knowing fully well you mean your words.

She keeps her thoughts to herself, mumbling something incoherent while the loud slurps of the iced drink can be heard. Still not paying her much attention, you lean your elbows on the counter marble, sighing tiredly. Even though it was only an hour past noon, you could feel the heaviness in your eyes, the tiredness getting to you. Not having any orders, you allow yourself a few moments of rest, closing your eyes and resting your head on your hands. Just some seconds of peace, you decide.

The bell chime’s noise announces the end of your calm state of mind. In a blink, your sister is placing a medium-sized box on the counter, her usual smile directed at you. You know better than to trust her angelic looks, though — behind her rose gold hair and delicate features, Rosé is nothing but a devious manipulator.

However, she’s still your older sister, and you love her to pieces. It’s the only reason you don’t ignore her, crossing your arms and waiting for her to speak up, instead. She pushes the box towards you, smiling sneakily.

“Good morning, baby sister.” Rosé greets you. As usual, she never goes straight to the point.

You narrow your eyes at her. “It’s past noon, Rosé.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She brushes you off, winking at Chaeryeong to say hello. The girl nearly drowns in her coke, coughing violently.

Chaeryeong has had a massive crush on your sister ever since she was fourteen. Fortunately for you, Rosé has never seen her as anything apart from a little sister too, like yourself. Although the not so subtle rejection has never stopped Chaery from freaking out whenever Rosé addressed or acknowledged her.

“Good morning to you too, Rosie unnie.” She says, after finally gathering her breath. You huff, muttering about how biased she was and being promptly ignored by both girls. The package catches Chaery’s attention, ever so curious, and she pokes it with her bony fingers. “And what’s that about?”

Rosé pulls the package towards you, shrinking her shoulders down a little. For some, she might seem hesitant, but you know her too well to be aware that her movements are anything short of calculated.

“Could you deliver this for me?” She asks —tone dripping with sweetness. It always is, whenever she wants something from you. This is no different. “They asked for the pieces pretty urgently, and I’ll be off to deliver another package in a nearby city in a few minutes.”

Apart from the Diner, your father also owned a mechanical workshop, and would often sell and deliver car pieces to his clients. Rosé, being her outgoing self, dealt with them and the business part of it while you preferred to step aside, helping with the Diner instead. It was only when she had too much work to do that you had to deal with her customers, instead —and those were never pleasant experiences.

Perhaps you were just not cut for the job, or your calm aura was easy to be taken advantage of, but it was a matter of fact: you sucked at negotiating deals and making small talk. It made you uncomfortable and anxious, having to put up a superior act and bargain with assholes until you got enough profit to go home satisfied, so you avoided it vigorously.

Unfortunately, Rosé never hesitated to ask for a hand.

You eye the box suspiciously, trying to figure out the content inside without having to touch it. Even though it seems heavy, you can never truly trust appearances. After all, car pieces are not the only thing they sell at your father’s shop.

“I mean… I could.” You smirk back at Rosé, your identical smiles mirroring one another. “But I don’t want to.”

Before you even register, Rosé smacks you on the head. You’ve never been able to buck from her quick hands anyway.

“Hey!” You massage your scalp, moving your upper body forward to give Chaeryeong a push, too, since the action has her laughing loudly. “Bitch.”

Rosé giggles, too, standing on her tiptoes to give you a kiss on the cheek.

“Pretty please, Y/nnie.” She sighs, joining her hands in a prayer. “I’ll owe you one. I’ll even give you that dress of mine you love, promise.”

Chaeryeong gives you a thumbs up, biased as she’s always been.

“Come on, Y/n, let’s just do it. It’ll be fun! It’s too monotonous to be at the Diner all day, anyway.”

“See?” Rosé gestures to your best friend, pleased to be supported. “Chaery, you’re so sweet.” Your sister pinches her nose, and Chaeryeong’s face turns as red as a strawberry in a matter of seconds. She turns to you once again, then, still faking that hesitation. “Please? It’d be an outstanding deal for us. Lots of profit and all.”

You roll your eyes, still not convinced. Even though Chaery’s eyes are nearly popping off her face with how intensely she’s glaring, you refuse to give in. Rosé was stubborn, but you share the same blood, after all.

“Aren’t any of your friends available? I can’t just close the Diner and go.” Lies. You simply refuse to bulge, to relent to Rosé’s wishes as you always did.

She doesn’t even blink, though, unbothered by your lack of cooperation.

“Lisa, Jisoo, and Jennie are all busy with other work deals too, as well as the boys.” She shrugs, going around the counter to grab a beer for herself. “Trust me, Y/n: if I had anyone to go deliver this, I would… but you know how busy these past weeks have been, and we’re all so overworked. Help me out, please?” She touches the cross hanging on her chest, identical to the one you never took off.

A symbol of your bond.

You sigh, jumping off the balcony and giving in to Rosé’s orders for the nth time. “Fine.” You mumble, grumpy. “Chaeryeong can take care of the place while I go.”

“What the fuck, Y/n!” The girl jumps from her seat, suddenly interested in the conversation as if she hadn’t spent the last five minutes scrolling on her phone, all bored. Suddenly, she’s all ears, eagerly advocating for herself, “I don’t want to do the boring stuff! Let me go with you.”

Before you’re able to tell your friend to get fucked, Rosé stops you with her hands, signaling for someone to come in.

“It’s good for you to not go alone, baby sis. Chaery can make you company.” She nods, grabbing the young girl who came in by the shoulders and positioning her in front of you and Chaeryeong. “This is Rami. She’s Mingyu’s little sister, remember? She said she could handle the diner for a few hours while the two of you are at it. Such a sweetheart, is she not?”

The girl — Rami, nods energetically, looking at your sister with adoration in her glittery eyes. It was no surprise Rosé had brought one of her little fangirls to help, actually. Living in a small city for all your life, everyone knew Rosé. She’s been a notable presence since her teenage years, whether it was attending fancy balls or setting fire to the shops downtown. The blonde girl has been remarkable for as long as you can remember. She’s always been either feared, hated, or loved, but remarkable nonetheless.

Which only proved your theory that you were not going to deliver any car pieces, after all.

You and Chaery exchanged a knowing look, neither caring enough to ask anything about this girl or explain the job she’d have to take at the Diner for free.

“Very well, then.” You sigh, watching Rosé’s excited clapping and giggling. “I’ll grab my car keys.”

Chaeryeong follows you closely, also jumping of joy. You’re well aware she hates being at the Diner, always complaining of boredom, but it isn’t like she has any other friends to go out with. Behind her bubbly, chatty, and energetic personality, she’s is actually very frail and shy, which makes her an easy target for the mean fuckers your age. She struggles, and would much rather just have a single, loyal friend. And you’ve always made sure to protect her fiercely.

“Adventure!! Finally.” The dark-haired girl raises her hands, thanking God you’d go out.

“Don’t get too excited.” You warn her, turning to Rosé. Pointing a finger at the rosy-haired woman, you add. “I hate you.”

She pulls you in for a suffocating hug, used to your harsh behavior. “And I love you so, little sis. Thank you!”

Both Rami and her wave as you and Chaeryeong leave the diner, the package weighing heavily in your hands. You don’t have a big 6th sense, but something does not feel right. Although you ignore it anyway, turning the car on and driving to the address your sister texted you.

-

“Do we really have to do this?” She whines, closing the passenger’s door rather roughly — to which you grunt, paying her a harsh stare for not being careful with your precious car.

She realized the whole thing would be anything but fun sometime mid the 40-minute journey to the abandoned warehouse you were currently walking into. Besides, once you reminded her that Rosé’s request would put off her wishes of going out and partying for a few hours, that little pout of hers hasn’t left her lips. Now, Chaeryeong is all regretful to have supported the older girl in her wishes.

“Not really.” You pay your friend no mind, walking towards the place that was falling into pieces. Seeing you weren’t backing her up, her pout deepened.

“It’s my birthday.” She argues, kicking rocks along the way.

“I already bought you a cake. And milkshake, and fries.” You roll your eyes, remembering how you’d all chanted your best friend happy birthday at your parents’ Diner, during breakfast. “And a shit ton of booze, throughout all these years of knowing you. You haven’t paid me back once.”

Chaeryeong sighs, hurrying to your side, defeated. You keep walking without waiting for her, making it harder for her to catch up — truly opposites, the two of you.

“Fine. But let’s do this quickly. You promised we’d still go to that party.” She decides, playfully bumping into you. Any other time, her actions would’ve helped you to be at ease, but you’re unable to relax this time. You know this is some serious shit.

“Yeah, let’s do this quick.” You repeat her words, entering the abandoned place at a slow, nearly languid pace.

Let you both be out of here in no time. You wish, once again sensing the bad omens.

The warehouse, although old, mistreated and nearly falling into pieces, is not unsettling to you. It’s merely the place Rosé sometimes treats business, and you’ve accompanied her once or twice, before. The wooden beams are rotten, and the flooring has long disappeared, fading into dust that clings to your combat boots. You’d have to clean them later, and that somehow annoys you more than the situation itself. The place is empty, with walls that were once covered by big, expensive windows, yet all that remains are tainted, broken glasses hanging wherever you could look. Machines are still forgotten in random locations inside the building, a ghost of times when the government tried to rebuild the massive area. None of that was successful, obviously. Now, this ghost of a place belongs to your father, your sister, and the other people who were also part of the darker side of this shitty town.

Only a single table hangs in the open area of the first floor, clearly meant for dealerships and businesses. Upon arriving, you notice 5 — no, nearly 10 people waiting not so patiently. Wearing dark, shabby clothes, none of them seem welcoming, to say the least. Rosé had told you’d be doing business with Wendy, a familiar customer from another small town nearby, in hopes to ease down on your nerves. It worked, in a way: having met with Wendy a few times prior, you weren’t all nervous about the upcoming meeting. She was intimidating and oh, so pretty, but you got along well with the auburn-haired woman and her business partners, from previous experiences such as charity dinners and dealerships alongside your sister’s presence.

The woman that stands in front of you, however, looks nothing like Wendy. You know her, naturally; it was impossible not to. Jinsoul’s troublemaker fame was much different than your sister’s — while Rosé’s actions, even though batshit crazy at times, are dreadfully calculated, Jinsoul’s insanity comes with the sole purpose of enticing chaos. Her unstable nature is much of a pain, you’ve personally experienced so from watching herself prove her influence on a crowd by torturing some poor girl who accidentally spilled champagne in her dress at a ceremony, or setting fire to a man’s car at one of the car rifts you often attend. Out of all the girls from her gang, Jinsoul is the least pleasant one to set off deals with.

Naturally, Rosé and Jinsoul hate each other with a passion, being two different flames of the same fire.

With all of that knowledge, you fix your posture, observing Chaeryeong do the same with your peripheral vision. Even though you absolutely despise it, you’ve been taught well how to keep a powerful, imposing façade. Standing tall, you tower over Jinsoul and her subordinates.

“I see Rosé sent her little minion, instead of herself. Must be really busy, of course.” Jinsoul doesn’t greet you, as expected. Her tone is dripping with venom as she examines you and your best friend with harsh eyes.

Now that you’re in front of her, you’re no longer hesitant or scared. Instead, you’re bothered, irritated that you have to deal with your sister’s cheap copy instead of Wendy or Joohyun. Taking a step towards the young woman, you curse Rosé under your breath, fully aware the eventful encounter is not a misunderstanding.

“Nice hair. I love the new color.” You say, leaning your head with a knowing look. Jinsoul’s hair falls a little past her shoulders, in a strawberry-blonde tone that is exactly like Rosé’s past one, from a few months prior. “I’ll tell Rosé her oldest, most faithful fan sends her regards.”

Your words seem to stir something inside the leader in front of you. She scoffs, gritting her teeth. “This is too tedious. Give me the shipment we agreed on, I’ve got better things to do anyway.”

Rolling your eyes, you gesture for Chaeryeong to drop the box on the ground. She does as told, the metallic sounds of the guns moving inside. It echoes in the empty place, as the box falls onto the ground.

Jinsoul remains stoic, hands resting neatly inside her pockets, while her guards reach out for the box. Before they can touch it, though, you step on it, preventing anyone from moving.

“Give us the money first, Jinsoul. No funny business.” You stare right into her eyes, remembering the times you’ve caught her fooling around in her deals, leaving other people empty-handed. “Then you can check as much as you want.”

She laughs, knowing you’re no fool. “I see you’ve gotten wiser, Y/n. Well done.”

In a second, she’s handing you another small, compacted package. You take the money with your delicate hands, not in the least made to deal with such dirty stuff. You count it, already feeling the blood in your veins boil. Chaeryeong breaths are heavy beside you as you say. “This is not what we agreed on, Jinsoul. Stop being a whore for once and give me the other half of the fucking money.”

You and Chaery don’t need words to understand each other. She grabs the box back from the ground as soon as she sees you go rigid, holding on to it with the same look of disdain you bear.

“Oh, my dear.” Jinsoul stands close enough to grab a strand of your long fringe, knuckles brushing your jawline with feigned affection. “Your sister should know I am only faithful to the people I treat business with… and I didn’t discuss anything with you, precious.”

Turning your face, you hold Chaeryeong with one arm to prevent her from jumping on Jinsoul and beating her up.

“You bitch!” Your friend screams at her face, her voice muffled by Jinsoul’s hectic laughter as she walks away, back turned to you and Chaery in a clear show of disrespect.

Before you can go to Jinsoul yourself, her guards strike, going straight to the two of you. You manage to buckle and give them a few punches — causing a fair amount of trouble for someone who didn’t practice often at all, honestly. However, you were outnumbered, and soon enough you find yourself on the ground, punched and disheveled.

Coughing violently, you turn to see one of them kicking Chaeryeong in the guts, a few meters from you. The sight of your friend, cheerful and pure Chaery, being hurt enrages you to the core. You spit at their feet to gather all the attention to yourself.

“Don’t touch her, fucker!” You scream, breathless. They pay you no mind, having the time of their lives.

You feel something on your jacket, then. When you look ahead, Jinsoul has poured a thick, horizontal line of a viscous liquid through all of the massive warehouse. Other guards help, with gallons, but you know most of it is her doing — she loves to get her hands dirty in the business. There’s fire in her eyes, and by the time she lifts the lighter dramatically, you’re already well aware.

Gasoline.

“Goodbye, dearests! It’s always a pleasure doing business with you.” She chants, before throwing the lighter and walking away, without any rush.

You have to use both hands to stand on your fours, then on your knees. Your jacket is long thrown elsewhere as you grab Chaeryeong by back of her neck, much like a kitten. “Let’s go, and quick. Are you badly hurt?” You murmur, looking for any bad bruises on her porcelain skin. The girl shakes her head, running her hand through her bloody nose. She whimpers, and you know she’s trying her best to be strong in front of you. You give her a hug, as well as a kiss on her dirty cheek, in hopes of bringing her a little comfort. “Good. Now come.”

You hated — no, you despised Rosé for always deceiving you. Only this time, she’d pay.

Leaning on each other, the two of you go back to where you’d parked your car, in a hidden area a few minutes away from the warehouse, just as you’ve been taught to do. You take a deep breath, appreciating the humidity and the nature that ruled the place, a forgotten piece of the city. It had rained while you were inside, and you were glad for that. You loved the smell of rain, especially in nature.

On your way to the car, you spot a water tap nearby. You take Chaeryeong’s arms from your shoulders, then, opening the tap and turning to her. “Clean yourself up.”

“You’re so bossy.” She mumbles, but is quick to do as told, grabbing a hold of the water and splashing it on her face, cleaning up the dust that gathered. Chaeryeong nearly drenches her whole head, too — her pitch-black hair all shiny within minutes as the color slowly returns to her face.

While she takes the dirt off her arms and legs, you look around to check on the fire. It is still lively, a bright beacon as the night falls by, but you know it won’t spread. The place was all rotten by rust, with barely any ceiling left, so the rain would most likely put it off.

Still, Jinsoul’s message was clear, and it stung on your pride.

At least she’s always been like that, never presenting herself differently. Much different from your sister, who tells lies for breakfast.

Your mind is still clouded by troubled thoughts when Chaeryeong lets out a tired laugh, smiling once you kneel to clean up yourself. “They beat up our asses hard out there, you know.”

As much as her statement annoys the shit out of you, you’re grateful to have her cracking jokes again. Your best friend’s delicate features suit the red color on her mouth, a sign she’s well and ready for the next one.

You feel the dust gathering under your fingers and all over your skin. It’s all over you, so intensely your honey hair can be misguided as black, with how much of it is covered by dirt.

“I’ve barely noticed.”

Chaeryeong chokes in her saliva to keep herself from laughing, knowing your patience’s running thin. Even if you have the softest spot for her, she decides not to push it.

“Yes, obviously.” She nods. You think she’s finally going to be quiet, but it’s your best friend you’re talking about. Naturally, she continues. “Let’s go to the party, please?”

You scoff, rolling your eyes as you finish washing up, feeling refreshed and no longer too bothered. “Yes.”

You both arrive where the car is parked before she adds. “And we need fighting lessons once we get back home.”

“Chaeryeong.”

“It’s true, sorry! It is.” She raises her hands as if to keep herself from being attacked by your rage.

You limit yourself to giving her a harsh stare, and she shivers under it. You can be quite intimidating when you wish to be, especially since you’re not exactly a chatterbox.

Turning the car on, you indulge your friend’s wishes as you drive towards the party she’s been nagging you about for the whole week.

-

The night’s already taken over the sky once you park on the crowded street, after hours of speeding on the free road. As you hop out of the car, your thoughts go to your sister: you know the meeting with Jinsoul had been arranged all along, with her words about Wendy being merely for you to agree on doing as told. How could she fool you like that? As if you were nothing more than another dischargeable person, like many of her toys.

It’s not the first time Rosé has sent you and Chaeryeong to some skimpy situation, but knowing she was well aware of it being a clear trap all along leaves you absolutely outraged.

Even though she knew of the risks, she still sent you. You would’ve never gone, had you known it was a situation like that, and that’s the reason she didn’t warn you beforehand.

You hated Rosé’s guts.

Chaery rushes to your side once again, side-eyeing you with as little discreetness as possible — unlike yourself, she’s never been good at hiding her expressions. You don’t even attempt to smile, still mad about your earlier encounter and all that went wrong.

Not even your bubbly, cheerful best friend can lift your spirits, at the moment.

“Don’t tell me you’re still pissed, Y/n.” She shakes her arms, sighing. Her tone is serious, and you know she means it. “Come on! Live your life, and stop being so strict all the time. You deserve to have fun.” Chaery grabs you by the shoulders, lifting your chin so you’ll stare at her. “So have fun! I know it fucking sucks, but it’s done! Let’s just enjoy the night and deal with the whole problem tomorrow morning.”

You roll your eyes, knowing she’d never comprehend your feelings. As much as you love how carefree she is, you also know your personalities are too different.

You allow her to interlock your hand with hers, though, as the two of you pass the sea of cars in the direction of the crowded mansion.

“You could use a little fire within yourself too, you know.” You murmur, examining the place with harsh eyes.

The front garden alone is already impressive. Its deep green lawn is impeccable — clearly trimmed and well cared for, aligning with the lavish fountain that stands in the center and all the animals sculpted in the bushes. A cupid stands in the middle of the marble fountain, water flowing smoothly from its carved bow. You recognize the modern styling of the mansion, with plenty of massive windows that cover both floors of the house. With its wooden walls, the place has a rustic yet cozy surface. There is no doubt whoever owns such property has a great sense of style.

Even that front area is crowded, too. People nearly having public sex, others throwing up vigorously while being helped by friends, a few others just passed out on the lawn… although you’re surprised to see many groups simply drinking and chilling, leaning on their cars, too — most likely seeking an escape from the vivid music and the heat wave that must be inside. You already feel the energetic music echoing through the whole atmosphere, the rhythm reverberating through the walls and on the ground. You bite your cheek to suppress a smile, not wanting your friend to notice yet. To you, there was something appealing about attending such crowded spaces. Amidst the sea of people, you were no one: known by no one, cared for by no one. It was strangely comforting, as if a weight was going off your shoulders, and you liked it.

Interrupting your thoughts, Chaeryeong shrugs, “I mean, it’s Rosé we’re talking about. Did you seriously not expect the deal to be suspicious, to say the very least?” She sighs hard, adding. “That lying, dreadful hot bitch. I’d go to as many sneaky warehouses as she commands me to, sorry, Y/n.”

Her tone is truthful enough to have you shaking your shoulders in laughter, squeezing her hand to make her stop walking through people so fast. As a matter of fact, Chaery’s fat crush on your sister isn’t by any means new to you — going on for many years already, but it always surprises you to hear her say stuff like that.

You find it hilarious, actually, that Chaeryeong is, to this day, one of your sister’s fangirls.

“I seriously can’t believe you sometimes.” You say, although youthful spirits have been lifted. Your best friend smiles brightly at you, her button nose scrunching adorably.

“You just love me so much.”

You leave her at that, and stand by the door, making your way to the main, open area — the living room. Chaeryeong is smart and attentive, which also helps to access the whole place rather quickly. Soon enough, both of you have some kind of fancy drink in hands, and you stare at the dark-haired girl rather hesitantly.

Her bright humor and the room’s energy, bustling with excitement are enough to have you feeling much better, even a little happy yourself. Still sensing your hesitation, she brings the cup to your mouth with her small hands, both of you downing your drinks within seconds.

“Okay,” She says, looking around for anything interesting. “Now the real fun begins.”

You laugh, knowing she’s going to find some source of entertainment for the night — whether it is a pretty girl to lose herself in or a newly discovered gossip to watch and comment over like a TV series.

Chaeryeong disappears and comes back with another fancy-looking drink, stumbling and nearly falling in the process, and you quickly grab the one she hands to you, taking a small sip this time. She’s already had a handful of hers and stares at your choice of savoring the liquid with playful eyes.

“What? I would rather not pass out. That’s your role.”

“You never forget, do you? It was once, Y/n. Once. And forever ago, too! I’ve never done that again.” She huffs, bringing her free hand to her chest in a fake display of resentment.

You giggle as you hug her sideways, shutting off the older girl’s whines. She quickly steps aside, though — not wanting people to think she’s not seeking some fun, and you take the opportunity to look around, observing the inside of the mansion properly.

It’s a beautiful house — a mansion, indeed — and the first floor is nothing but lavish. The bar, where you and Chaeryeong stand, is nearly the size of the one at the Diner, filled with expensive drinks and crystal cups as the bartender — not at all like the junk places the two of you usually attend— mixes drinks with experience.

It also pleases you to see how such a person is not afraid of spending money to host a good party, even if the people enjoying it are complete strangers. The lively atmosphere of young people having fun, mixed with the grand decor of the place balanced each other well, giving a lived-in aspect to said gorgeous place.

The open area has plenty of windows, allowing you to watch the gardens and the pool, outside — even though it’s massive, there’s barely any space left in between the waters, making you gulp with disgust. It was hard for you to understand how that many people would muster the courage to get in, with so many germs and fluids certainly dirtying the once crystal-clear waters.

Looking back inside, you’re able to observe the planned furniture, which is clearly well thought out, with the wooden ceiling and the thick, marble columns. There are rugs lacking, you notice, but it is surely so they don’t stain or anything.

You wonder what the place is like during a quiet, common day. One where the only noises come from the birds, chipping and singing while flying through the trees, and the running water that drips on the pool fountain.

Besides that, it is absolutely crowded. Nearly every single space is occupied by either a couple kissing like there’s no tomorrow or people screaming and dancing, yet everyone seems to be having a nice time. The atmosphere makes you smile, surprisingly cozy on this chaotic yet lively night. That’s how you feel, specially after the prior encounters: alive.

You have to make that feeling worth it.

-

Time goes by fast once you’re trying to have fun.

You quickly learn so, as you drink, smoke, and dance with Chaeryeong. Even with the alcohol leaving you happy, you’re still uneasy. You can’t shake the feeling that you’re being observed, no matter how many times you tell yourself that’s absolutely insane — there are people in every possible corner of the place, and no one’s paying attention to you.

However, Chaery also seems to be opposed to the logical part of your brain.

“I think you should go for it,” Your best friend tells you, after long minutes of heavily flirting with a barbie-like girl from afar.

You’re nearly sure you know that girl, actually. She’s from your hometown, most likely; her heart-shaped mouth and cherubic features are impossible to miss.

There’s nothing more like Chaery than going to a party located 2 hours away just to fuck around with the same people you’ve known since elementary school.

Your best friend turns around, filling up both of your drinks, even though yours is only halfway empty.

You frown. “Go for what?”

It’s Chaeryeong’s turn to be annoyed at you. She throws her free arm on your shoulders, gesturing to the middle of the living room area, where four good-looking girls stand with critical looks, acting like they own the place.

Which, judging by their style and the way they carry themselves, they might as well do.

Chaeryeong points in their direction with her head, never in her life subtle. “The one in the middle has not stopped staring at you ever since we’ve arrived. Ryujin, they say it’s her name.” Your friend’s excited tone grabs your attention, and you finally take a look at the small group she’s so enamored by. “I think you should go get her.”

Your friend has always had a good taste in women, and this time’s no different. They are beautiful, crushingly so, all hanging out by the long couch, circled by many people who seem to fight for an ounce of their attention. They stay disinterested, though, not paying them as much as a quick look.

One has sharp eyes, listening attentively to what a jumpy redhead and a blonde girl have to say as she sips on her Marguerita. At last, you observe the raven-haired girl Chaeryeong mentioned: she stands powerful in the middle, her sharp features giving her an intimidating look. To your surprise, she’s already staring— her dark eyes examining you with such hunger your heart starts beating rapidly as if there were no one else in the room. Electric shocks fly through your body upon her piercing gaze, and you look away immediately.

“She’s creepy.” You take a long gulp of your drink, in hopes of washing away the urge of sneaking her a glance once again.

Chaeryeong rolls her eyes, nudging you. “Just how you like them.” She scoffs, then, when she realizes you won’t answer — not in the mood to indulge her little monologues. “Please, Y/n, for once in your life just—“

You interrupt your friend, taking a step back and giving her a fake smile. “I need to use the bathroom, but I’ll catch up with you soon, Chaery.” Getting away from her as fast as you can in such a crowded space, you’re still able to hear her voice as you ascend the grand staircase, screaming while raising her cup in your direction to prove her point.

“YOU CAN’T ESCAPE ME, Y/N! IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG, I’LL COME AND GET YOU.” You can’t help but laugh, fully knowing she means it.

Even though you escape her lecture — hearing that same discourse at least once a day ever since you can remember, you know Chaeryeong means well. It’s a matter of fact: you’ve always been the responsible one, caring and supervising others, to the point people always referred to you as “lame” or “boring”. Whether it was at the Diner, with your reckless family, or dealing with your friend’s spontaneousness, you’re unable to help it: being careful comes naturally to you, always thinking about countless opportunities for every situation possible.

Before opening many doors — the place was indeed massive, leaving you to wonder how many rooms there are — you finally find a bathroom. Without rushing, you take a deep breath, washing your face in hopes of easing your mind, too.

For the first time in many hours, you have time to truly think about the events of the day. Weariness infiltrates your bones as you grip both sides of the sink, not daring to look at yourself in the mirror. Looking at your face, your features, means staring at your sister, too. At your father, the whole dirty business you do for a living and how you’re also to blame, no matter how much you avoid taking part in it. You belong in this world, there’s no denying it.

Only you so wish you weren’t.

Sitting on the toilet, you hug your knees, waiting for the tears to come. They never do; you only feel an emptiness inside your tainted soul. Somehow, you’ve already gotten used to this entire mess. Crying and pitying yourself won’t change anything.

The door opens, and Ryujin is standing in front of you before you can make yourself look presentable. She’s as intimidating as she was from afar, her thick boots making her look taller.

“Sorry for taking so long, I needed a moment. I’ll go now.” You get up quickly, trying to brush past her as you murmur excuses for keeping the bathroom all to yourself, even though she doesn’t seem to mind.

With a hand brushing your waist, she says, tone low and husked. “It’s ok. I can take you to somewhere quieter if you’d like.” Her posture is relaxed and patient, waiting for you to answer. “Listening to loud music for too long can be a bother.”

You don’t exactly know why you agree; perhaps it’s her voice, soothing and sensual — even though you somehow know her invite is not one seeking sex, or her dark eyes, staring at you like she could undress your soul and be aware of your deepest secrets. Regardless of the motives, you feel drawn to her, almost as if she’d cast a spell on you, luring you in. So you nod, allowing yourself to enter the labyrinth of corridors as Ryujin walks by your side, without rushing. Only when the two of you stop by a black, wooden door, she turns back to you. You step inside, as the world behind you suddenly turns quiet.

You’re fully aware of the risks you’re taking. She’s a stranger, and you know nothing about each other. You should be jumpy, wary in the least.

Instead, for the first time in many years, there’s not a train of thoughts running through your head, thinking about millions of possibilities and outcomes of every little thing you’ve ever witnessed.

As you walk into the middle of the spacious room, you feel nothing but calm.

-

Ryujin has good taste.

You’re not stupid: you know the bedroom you’re currently in belongs to her. The walls are made of wood, carved in light brown, and most of the furniture is black, a true portrait of how she presents herself — all dark and mysterious. Her bed stands appealing in the middle, the covers undone and inviting, while numerous papers rest neatly on her desk, but it’s the content on the wall that catches your attention. A map of the country, covered with red strings and pins linking numerous places. There are names written, too, as well as keywords and small texts.

“I’m a good listener. If you’d like to, naturally.” She takes a blunt out of her pocket, gesturing to you. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” You give her a small smile in acknowledgment. “It’s your room, anyway.”

She laughs. “Smart girl.”

“I’ll pass on your invitation to listen, though.” You continue as you stare at her closely, curious about how she’d react. Her blazer made her shirt ride up, revealing part of her toned abdomen, and you can’t help but ogle, mouth dry at the sight.

God, she’s so hot, sitting casually like that.
“As you wish. No problem.” Ryujin doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, which provides you with enough confidence to start looking around again.

A black wooden bookshelf catches your attention, standing on the opposite side of the windows and the balcony, and you’re appalled by how vast it is. It nearly occupies the entire wall, with numerous books. It’s the only part of the room that has any color besides black, brown, or white, and the books all seem pretty worn out. You brush your fingers through the shelves, lost in paradise.

“Do you expect us to fuck?” You don’t turn to face her as you ask, without shame. Strangely, you feel like you could tell her whatever you wanted to.

She shrugs, adjusting her pillows so she’d lie comfortably, looking rather small in the massive bed. The words leave her mouth so casually like nothing was ever complicated. “If you'd like to, maybe.” Her eyes travel to your body, and you shiver, once again feeling exposed. “You’re pretty. You have a beautiful body, too. So, sure.”

“Why did you bring me here, then? If not to fuck.” You murmur, eyeing her as your fingers brush a specific book, waiting for her permission.

You take it from its place once she nods, freeing the smoke from her lungs. The Waves, highlighted and annotated.

“You looked as if you had many thoughts going on in your head.” She runs her hand through her shiny, pitch-black hair, casually. “This is my quiet place. I figured you could use a little peace for a while, too.”

She was so right. From the time you entered her room, you felt nothing but peace, as if your emotional turmoil had cooled down for a few moments.

Maybe it was the calming energy Ryujin emanates or the way she looks at you so curiously. Anyway, you decide she’s worth it.

You were not exactly fond of meeting new people, much less welcoming them into your life. You didn’t feel the need to add anyone — you could barely keep up with the amount of drama you had, with not that many people. You have a best friend, a father, a stepmother, grandparents, a sister, and her friends who were your acquaintances. Not a massive crowd, but just enough for you.

However, you feel the need to let this girl in, too.

Jumping on the bed, you don’t stop until you’re near enough to feel the warmth of the blunt Ryujin holds. You lean on your elbows, facing down whilst she’s facing up, hands behind her head to support herself as she stares at the ceiling.

“I’m Y/n, nice to meet you.” You say, determined not to feel threatened by her piercing gaze and those midnight eyes that carry such mystery.

Ryujin laughs, shaking the hand you offer. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/n. I’m Ryujin.”

She stares back, her eyes undressing you as if she’s the keeper of all your secrets. You look away. She laughs again.

Your mind wanders to Chaeryeong’s words, always eager to talk about how you should take more risks and live freely. Perhaps she’s right; you should stop worrying too much and overthinking every single thing.

You snuggle yourself even closer to Ryujin, still deciding. “But are you good?”

She frowns, turning to you. “Probably. But good at what, exactly?”

“In bed, obviously.” You roll your eyes. “Are you a good fuck?”

Being so close to her allows you to see the switch your words provoke. Her eyes darken, and she fixes her posture, no longer carefree and unbothered. No… the girl whose eyes roam over your body is far from inviting or calming. She’s powerful, just as you watched her present herself downstairs, earlier at night. With strong hands, she grabs one of your thighs, bringing you so close you’re able to play with the collar of her silk shirt.

“Why do you ask, Y/n?” Ryunjin’s hands brush your neck in a careful motion, tucking your hair away so she’s able to run her nose through your skin. One look at her, and you know she enjoys toying with you like that too much.

As she must do with anyone, you suppose.

“Well…” You look down, although still leaning at her touch. “‘Cause I want you to fuck me, of course. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be asking.”

She doesn’t mind your impatient tone but doesn’t touch you either, even after your words. If anything, she just keeps staring at your body, as if imagining all the things she’d do.

“And how would I do that, exactly?” You roll your eyes, ready to give her a defiant answer when she grabs you by the chin, ever so gently. “Make sure to be clear with your words, my angel.”

And it’s that tone once again — so low-pitched and raspy, that makes you gulp, barely breathing under the enchanting, mysterious girl’s touches. Besides being in control at all times: when you’ve decided to accompany Ryujin to her bedroom, when initiating this battle of desire… you finally come to realize how different it is, this once. This time, Ryujin’s question presents itself as a warning, its meaning loud and clear even though it was unsaid. If you agreed to this, she would be the one in control. She’d take as much as she pleased, however, you wished her to do.

Something that is so appealing to you. Not because you feel the need to let go; no, you’ve done much of that throughout all of your life — being your family’s pawn, toy, and little doll to show off to other powerful families, making a profit over the image of perfection.

No, Ryujin’s offer is appealing simply because you’re curious to see what she’d do to you. You feel drawn to her, with a sudden urge to be under her touch, to have her inside of you.

You want her to do the most unspeakable, filthy things to your body, bringing you enough pleasure to fuck you dumb, until all of your worries are washed away and long gone.

Her. You want her.

So you stand on your knees, taking your time with unclasping your bra and throwing your shirt off the ground, long hair flowing gracefully as you move, cascading down your hips. It’s only once you’re done that you speak, long after letting her watch as you make a show out of the small act.

“I want you to pleasure me.” You say, with a voice just as lustrous as hers. “I’m sure you’ve been spoiled enough in sex. Prove it to me, then. And if you’re good enough, maybe I’ll satisfy you, too.”

She smiles, exposing her canine teeth as she watches you crawl to her. Within seconds, you’re between her legs, her mouth hot and wet on your clavicle — then wasting no time to go to your breasts, as she kisses and sucks on your skin. Making sure to bruise, to mark her presence. Territorial.

“Your wish is my command, angel of mine.” She murmurs, breath warm on your skin.

Ryujin’s taste is bitter, much like poison. Still, her lips are addicting, and it’s easy to lose yourself in between the sultry kisses you share. Your skin, your insides — you’re on fire, so turned on it burns.

Her hands, skilled and lithe, wander through your body, squeezing and groping as she pleases. Such a tease, she is. You can easily tell how delighted she is to be able to take her time, caressing the insides of your thighs as you huff, impatient. She’s so close, yet so far from where you need her. Your cunt aches, sticky and needy for something, anything.

Yearning for release after such a stressful day, you feel your body trembling with anticipation. Soon enough, you’re under her, both of your clothes long thrown on the ground. It’s hard not to blush with how she’s looking at your naked body, licking her lips as she spits, a long trail of saliva going from her fingers to your wet cunt.

You need more of her. Desperately.

Tugging her hair, you let out a loud whine. “You’re so mean, Ryujin.”

“I am.” Her answer comes immediately, as she lowers her body until her mouth is close to your pussy. She brushes the hair away from her face, eyes still heavily focused on your dripping cunt. Ryujin cups your ass, one of your legs resting on her shoulder as she brings your sex as close to her face as possible. Her eyes are starstruck, long-lost in your body as she parts your folds before giving your cunt a messy, wet kiss.

Her actions are more than enough to turn you into a withering mess: her mouth is everywhere, working her way inside of your walls with such vigor you feel so full, your troubled thoughts long forgotten. She works wonders, her tongue teasing your entrance and alternating between lapping on your clit, circling your hardened bud as you moan, squirming almost desperately. You’ve never been this sensible, yet Ryujin reverberates all of her actions through your body harder than usual — even the mere brush of her fingers has her holding your thighs firmly, to keep you from moving so much and closing your legs away.

Incoherent words leave your mouth so fast that you’d be ashamed if you were able to think about anything. Your long nails scratch her bare back in random patterns, leaving her skin so red you close your hands in a sudden wave of consciousness, shy as you bring them to your chest.

She stops too, ignoring your whines as she looks up to you with a serious face, her mouth swollen and glistening with your juices. “If you stop, I’ll stop.” She grabs your hands, placing them on her once again. It’s so sweet, somehow delicate how she handles you, much different from the way she acts with anyone else. “Don’t hold yourself back.”

You nod, gulping. She has two of her fingers aligned with your slit, spreading your juices through your pussy with that little smug smile of hers before easing them inside. They slide in easily, the gushing sounds filling the room along with your voice. “Ryujin… oh f-fuck!”

“Touch your nipples.” Ryujin commands, mouth closing against your clit once again. She licks and applies a weak suction, not yet enough to overstimulate you. You’re long gone, though, incapable of forming any thoughts on your pretty head, let alone following any commands. She knows it, which is the reason her hands grope your tits with strength, massaging. “You’re sensitive, angel. Touch them for me, will you?”

It seems to work, this time. You mumble a response to her patient tone, hands going straight to your nipples as you cup your breasts. They weren’t exactly big, but certainly not small either. If you squeezed them tightly — as you were currently, doing, you could fit them in your hands. Biting your lip, you flick your thumbs through the hardened buds, circling your areolas as your fingers twist and pinch your nipples.

The action sends a shock of electricity through your body, and you throw your head back in pleasure.

“Good girl, Y/n. God, your tits are so pretty. You look so pretty like this, doing so good for me.” You barely register her words, although it doesn’t seem necessary; if anything, Ryujin seems to be speaking to herself. She lifts her head, fingers thrusting in even deeper as she judges the bruises on your hips with hard eyes. Her voice is different, too, serious as she adds, “Must’ve been a tough day, hm? You’re all bruised, my love. And I haven’t given you any of these.”

“Something like that, I guess.” You murmur, closing your eyes to focus on how good she is making you feel.

She kisses each one of your bruises with delicacy, looking somehow annoyed. Her brows are furrowed, and her lips are pouty, making it easy to tell she’s lost in thought. Because of her reaction, you lift her chin, cocking your head to the sides as you try to figure her out. It seems to wake her up from her trance, instead. Ryujin takes your fingers and sucks, staring at you while her tongue wets your index and thumb just as she was doing to your pussy, moments prior.

This girl’s going to be the death of you.

Her attention returns to your cunt, swollen and red, as she fastens the thrusts on your slit. It hits deep, each movement bringing you closer to the orgasm you ache for. A third finger is added, then, and you feel yourself close to the edge. Ryujin must’ve felt your muscles clenching, too, since she’s quick to give your clit one last, deep suck.

It feels like there’s no air left in the room. The pleasure that was building up in your lower abdomen explodes, with violent waves of pleasure erupting and giving you the best sensation you’ve ever felt. It’s ecstatic, as if thousands of fireworks live in every little space of your body. You feel spectacular, but more than that, you feel alive. With a high cry, you cum, Ryujin’s fingers still working their way inside, helping you ride out from your orgasm. She’s careful to not touch your clit, just staring at your fucked out face as your chest moves rapidly, trying to even your breathing.

After a few minutes, you squirm, expecting her to distance herself and stop touching your cunt.

It’s not what happens, though — in a blink, she’s all over you, working her way up your body with wet kisses until your lips meet once again in a messy kiss.

“You’re relaxed now, right?” She says, sucking on your lower lip. “And you were so perfect, angel. It’s my turn. Can you give me one more? Do you think you can do it for me?”

Suddenly, you’re all hot again, as her fingers thrust into you deeper and deeper. You’re dizzy, more than happy to drink on her and let her drive you into pleasure as she says so.

“R-ryujin…” You chant her name, clinging to the girl.

It doesn’t take you long to cum, this time. The orgasm that drags through your body is strong but slow, leaving you full in more ways than you’ll ever be able to describe.

“So good.” She says, hands tight on your waist and caressing your abdomen, with no rush at all. “You’re doing so good, Y/n.”

Your cunt feels empty without her fingers inside, pussy swollen and pleased. Even though she’s right by your side, you miss her, reaching out for her touches. She’s more than eager to comply, holding you close as she kisses the top of your head, brushing the long strands of hair away from your face.

The two of you stay like that, wrapped up in a warm bubble that has you completely in peace. Your muscles relax, and you feel the tiredness in your bones, pleading for sleep. It’s easy to get lost in Ryujin’s arms, forgetting your duties and obligations until your mind is filled with her.

Just as quickly, you’re thrown back into reality by the doorknob — it’s forced from the outside, although the door doesn’t move, thankfully locked. It’s most likely someone drunk, searching for a place to have fun with someone, but the action is enough for you to remember the reason you’ve attended such a party: an energetic girl with dark hair and the worst sense of humor you’ve ever seen, who was probably worried sick about you and cursing your entire existence.

With that in mind, you get up, grabbing your dispersed clothes on the floor and putting them on. Ryujin’s stare is attentive, following your every move. She’s still comfortable in her bed, not bothering to cover herself as she reaches out for the blunt on her nightstand.

“You can stay, if you’d like.” Her voice has a special effect on you. It makes your body relax instantly, and you breathe in. “Enjoy the quietude. There’s no need to run away.”

“I’m not running away.” You frown, somehow bothered that she thinks so. Grunting, you clarify, “I’d like to… hum, continue this. But my friend’s been waiting for long now. She must be going crazy, thinking I’ve been kidnapped or something. I have to take care of her.”

“Why so?” There it is. That smirk, the air of superiority that adds to Ryujin’s strong façade. It’s almost as if she’s mocking you, playing with her words. “Is she a child? Or just so stupid she can’t take care of herself…”

Your face reddens, and you finish tying your shoes just as quickly as you turn to her, both hands gripping her bed frame so you’re able to jerk your body forward. “Chaeryeong’s not stupid. Watch your fucking mouth.”

People could say anything they wanted about you. In fact, they already did — ever since you were little and your mother had left, people judged and made assumptions about your life. It was impossible not to be a target, with a family like yours, handling the business that you do. It did hurt, at the beginning, but you’ve eventually figured it out: people talked about everyone, and you weren’t special. They were so miserable and uninteresting that they’d criticize every single little thing, no matter how invisible you tried to be. It’s just how they were.

However, any words directed at your best friend are enough for you to get into messy fights. No one was allowed to talk shit about her. Not cheerful, bright Chaeryeong, who had the biggest, cutest smile and the purest intentions in her heart. You’d never allow it.

Seeing how serious you were, Ryujin’s smile dropped. She tapped her blunt in the ashtray, careful to not let the dust spill. “You’re right, she’s not. I apologize.” Although she doesn’t look sorry at all. It’s as if everything is a big joke to her; which, with such a lavish house, you know it most likely is.

Rich people are always assholes.

Humming, you roll your eyes as you try to fix your hair, failing terribly. It’s still as wild as ever, stubbornly fighting your fingers when you run your hands through its entire length, in attempts of detangling something. The subject’s been brushed off when she speaks again, breaking the silence without any awkwardness. “Yeji is keeping an eye on her, anyway. So you don’t need to fry your neurons and die of preoccupation.”

It’s awkward — you’re awkward, meanwhile, the girl looks completely at ease as she takes another hold of smoke into her lungs, naked in all her glory. God, she’s so hot; her muscles are defined, and she’s simply beautiful, like a fallen angel. It takes all of you to not fall down on your knees immediately, begging to eat her out and make her scream in pleasure like she’s done to you. But you’re also tired, and you really need to let your friend know you’re alive and well. There’s nothing more that you hate than being a bother, so you can’t let her alone, wondering if you’ve forgotten about her presence.

“You really are good.” You stare at your hands, letting out a faint giggle. It’s amazing how suddenly shy you are, given how you were begging just minutes prior. “A good fuck, I mean. You are.” In a blink, you’re by the door, gripping the doorknob with an unnecessary amount of strength. “I hope to return the favor, someday.”

“Someday.” She says, tone enigmatic as ever. You’ve noticed she’s annoyingly good at hiding her expressions, always with a bored look on her face. “See you, Y/n.”

You don’t say anything else as you leave the room, losing yourself in the labyrinth of corridors without looking back.

-

Turns out Chaeryeong is still at the same place she was when you left, thankfully. She jumps into your arms as soon as she sees you, sighing in relief. “I’m going to kill you! Where have you been? I looked everywhere!”

You hold her firmly by the waist, her voice a few quarters higher than usual. Chaery might not be tall, but in this drunken state, she’s heavy, nearly dragging both of you to the ground. She laughs uncontrollably, happy to have you by her side once again.

“The bathroom line was too long.” You lie, taking the drink from her hands as you take a sip. It’s strong, provoking a nauseous sensation that you ignore as you swallow it down.

The lie comes naturally, not because you feel like you have to hide what happened from your best friend, but simply because you find yourself too tired to explain. She’s going to make you repeat yourself as soon as she sobers up again, anyway.

She knows it, though. “Liar! You were doing something.” The girl narrows her eyes, a confused expression on her face as she brushes the hair away from your neck. “Where’d you get a new necklac— Y/n! You dirty whore!”

You can’t help but laugh as she examines the hickeys Ryujin left on your skin, mouth opened in a big “O” — slightly pushing her off you. Chaeryeong stumbles, hitting the wall with her shoulders as she tries to gather her balance.

“I’ll tell you about it later, okay? M’ too tired right now.” You promise, not giving her drink back once she reaches out for it.

Chaeryeong doesn’t seem to mind, jumping up and down in excitement. She grabs you by the shoulders, shaking your body with a smile that nearly covers her entire face. “My girl’s getting some game, wow! I’m so happy for you, Y/n! You have no idea. Do you know how many times I wished you got someone? I seriously thought you were going to turn into a nun or something.”

“Hey!” You protest, “I’m not a prude! The last time I had kissed someone was like, last month or something.”

Chaery stops jumping, thankfully. She pays no mind to your grumbling, twirling, and moving along with the blasting music’s rhythm. “Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

You eye her with narrowed eyes, but she stops all of her movements before you can give her a sneaky response. Her face pales, and she gulps deeply.

“Are you okay, Chaery?” No response. Chaeryeong’s eyes are fixated on the wall behind you, the colorful lights and blasting music from the living room surely doing nothing but overwhelming her even more.

“Yeah.” She looks up, sighing. “Just felt this sudden urge to t—“ The way she covers her mouth is enough of a sign, for you. Acting quickly, you pull her to the gardens, as Chaeryeong tries her best to not jerk her body forward. It’s immediate: she throws up as soon as she finds a bush to lean on, the effects of the alcohol, adrenaline, and visual stimulation from the party getting to her organism.

“I guess you kept your drinking game high while I was busy?” You ask, trying to lighten the mood. It works, you can tell Chaery’s laughing by the way her small shoulders move. She gives you a thumbs up, too, her face still shoved in between the leaves. “Okay. Are you good to be by yourself for a few moments? I’ll get you some water, then I’ll be right back.”

“Sure.” Your friend manages to say, lying down on the grass. Her hair is all messy, and her face remains pale. “I’m fine now, though. 100%.”


“I’m still getting you the water.” You get up from where you were kneeling, too, rushing towards the kitchen entry with hurried steps.

You’re not too worried, though. This wasn’t exactly an unusual situation — sometimes Chaeryeong would drink too much, too fast… sometimes you would. It was a pain in the ass, naturally, and you’d always wake up deeply hungover the next day, but it wasn’t something to be deeply preoccupied with.

Humming to yourself, you open the fridge, in hopes of finding a bottle of fresh water. It was better than going to the bar set in the lively living room and asking for one, anyway. You barely notice a girl standing next to you, handing exactly what you’re looking for. She’s one of Ryujin’s friends, you reckon — her sunset, pin-straight hair compliments her features effortlessly, as her hypnotizing eyes stare at you attentively.

You know a judgmental look when you see one. This one’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“For your pretty friend.” She says, waiting patiently for you to take the bottle from her hands. You do, still silent, yet your lack of enthusiasm doesn’t scare her away. She keeps babbling, not minding you at all. “I hope she feels better.”

It’s as though she knows something you don’t, and the hidden mockery in the air leaves you uneasy.

“Thanks…” You murmur, playing with the bottle in your hands. Before you brush past her to return to your friend, she adds.

“—Yeji. That’s my name.” Yeji tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, waving you goodbye with feigned innocency. “Bye, Y/n. Make sure Chaeryeong arrives home safely.”

Chaery’s had an eye on her earlier, nearly fucking her from afar while you were in your own world, lost in thoughts. They probably had some fun before you came back to your friend, that’s all.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself as you lean next to Chaeryeong again, trying to ease the knot in your stomach as you give her the plastic bottle.

“Here, don’t drink it all at once.” You say, chuckling as the girl nearly drowns herself in the water, desperate to get rid of the bitter taste in her mouth. “It’s been a long day, Chaeryeong. Let’s go home.”

She gladly takes the hand you offer, groaning as she shakes the remains of grass from her pants. “I had fun, though. Today was a fun day, Y/n. Did you have fun too?”

There’s mischief all over her face, making it impossible for you to feel down. It’s her gift, being able to lift your spirits with her lame jokes and energetic nature.

“Of course, Chaery. I always have fun when I’m with you.” You nod.

Your words please her, and she leans her head against your shoulder as you make your way to the car, side by side.

It’s late, and you’re tired. You’d handle it all in the morning.

-

Despite the weariness that penetrates thick in your bones, you’re punctual as always, doodling in your journal by the counter as the sun fights its way up against the messy fog of the morning. It’s a routine you’ve been doing ever since you were a teenager: going out, partying, and going to so many places until dawn, while still showing up to work at the Diner in the following morning.

You’d get some rest, eventually. For now, the four hours of sleep you had were enough to keep you up, somehow. Besides, Saturday mornings are always some of the slowest days at the place, with hardly anyone coming for breakfast. People liked to sleep in, trying to gather all the hours they’ve lost from having to wake up early for work, you guess — which is why the place is empty, no customers to be seen.

There’s a hard slam on the corner, and you lift your eyes to follow the sound. You’re greeted by Rosé: her baby-pink hair is even messier than usual, and her leather jacket seems to be the only thing protecting her from the chilly weather. It does little to ease her, though — Your sister’s shorts expose her legs, dirty and scratched. At least her crop top is thick, the black clothing making her seem even more intimidating. And she smells of smoke, instead of her usual cologne.

“You look like shit.” You’re the first to break the silence, as your eyes return to your sketch. It’s not an easy thing to do, but you try your best to act indifferent to your sister’s piercing stare. “I’m taking you haven’t had any sleep at all.”

She’s fuming, you know that. Somehow, Rosé’s cold attitude is much worse than her red fire. Her quietness scares you, as it should. It’s never a good sign.

“Have you ever been anything other than useless, all your life?” She spits, and her words hurt, no matter how long you’ve mentally prepared yourself to have that talk, ever since you left the warehouse. “I asked you to do one thing, Y/n. One fucking thing, and you managed to fuck it all up! God, you’re such a failure.”

Your mouth is dry, all of your courage going down the drain as you stare at the woman in front of you. Suddenly, you’re a little kid again, playing your part as Rosé’s little doll so you’d receive a smile, a praise, anything from her. You’d do anything to get her to acknowledge you, having to fight for her attention like everyone else.

But not anymore.

She hits the counter again, visibly enraged. You shove your finger at her chest, fighting back before she destroys you with her words — like she’s so good at.

“And you’re a fucking liar! Fuck you, Rosé. You fucking lied to me, saying we’d meet Wendy because you knew damn well I’d say no to dealing with Jinsoul. And you know what? I was fucking right!” Saying the words out loud is enough to give you courage. When you speak again, your tone is low, sharp like she’d taught you. “We could’ve gotten seriously hurt out there, Rosé. And you were fully aware of that when you sent us into that fucking trap! You’re in no position to demand anything.”

Rosé runs her hands through her hair, and you can tell she’s exhausted, too. She’s always hidden things from you, so it’s impossible to know what’s going on in her life. Although you can’t bring yourself to care, anymore.

“We need that money, Y/n!” She shouts, exasperated. If her stare could burn, you’d be long dead. “How do you think things work, huh? Who do you think is paying for that fancy college of yours — our house, the food we eat every day? It’s me! I provide for us, with that dirty money you hate so much. So wake up! Fucking idiot. Stop being such a burden and help, for once.”

You know it’s true. Even though your father is supposedly the one in charge, Rosé is the true leader. Needless to say, you’re grateful for all of those things.

Which doesn’t make Rosé any less of an asshole.

“You’re a shit sister.” You lean on the chair, your icy tone placing a blunt contrast to her fiery screams. “And an absolutely horrible person. I despise you.”

A flash of hurt passes through Rosé’s eyes, so fast you wonder if you’ve imagined it. But as fast as it happens, it’s over with. Instantly, her defenses are up again, and your sister looks down on you, rolling her eyes as she crosses her arms in the middle of her chest.

“You’re tiring me.” She huffs, her tone making it clear she is done with the conversation. Rosé leans on the counter and shoves your shoulders on a punch before storming away, slamming the entry door loudly. “I’m going out, to clean the mess you’ve made. Like always.”

Tears start to cloud your vision as you watch her hop on her car, the roaming of the engines making her feelings clear enough for anyone to understand. She’s an asshole, you know it; but it’s hard to not be upset by her lack of care towards you. You long for her approval and affection, getting anything other than that is enough to leave you deeply hurt.

It’s frustrating, to feel like that over such a shitty situation. You don’t even know if the tears you shed come from sadness or from anger, as you brush them away from your face.

A lithe figure hits the window to grab your attention, and you’re deeply surprised to see Ryujin barging in, walking towards you in confident steps. She chooses the table closest to you, resting her arms over the chairs next to hers.

“Good morning, Y/n.” She says, completely comfortable.

“Morning.” You can’t help but frown, confused. At least her presence offers enough of a distraction from your actual problems. “What are you doing here, Ryujin?”

Ryujin smiles, her eyes small and dazed, so pretty it should be a crime. The rays of weak sunlight brighten her face, making her seem almost innocent. Much different from the night prior. “I heard this place had great food, so I came to check. I woke up pretty hungry, you know.”

“Sure.” You hum, eyeing her suspiciously.

“I’ll have some waffles, pancakes, and coffee. Black, and with no sugar, please.” She says, after looking at the menu. You nod, making your way to the kitchen as quickly as possible, in hopes of escaping her intense stares.

It’s unsettling, how you’re able to feel her gaze burning holes on your back. The sensation takes you back to the night prior, a tingling sensation looking for a place in your core. You push it away, opening the double doors of the cooking area.

“Yoona unnie?” You look for the woman, watching her put her phone down to pay you attention. Smiling, you hand her a small note. “We have a customer.”

“Oh, so early! No one comes on Saturdays.” She mumbles, peeking out behind you to spot Ryujin, who stares at the road in boredom. “I’ll prepare it quickly. Meanwhile, you can go entertain her.”

You laugh at Yoona’s suggestion, shaking your head. “I’d rather wait here, with you.”

Yoona’s face turns serious, as she points at you. “No one is allowed in the kitchen while I cook. Goodbye, Y/n.” You grumble, having no choice but to go back to Ryujin while the woman pushes you out the doors.

Having coffee without any sugar is a trait reserved for psychopaths, which you think suits Ryujin well. You pour her drink in your favorite mug, before returning to her table.

“I thought you also cooked.” The raven-haired girl stands when you approach, promptly pulling the chair in front of herself.

She gestures for you to sit, and you frown, ready to argue that you are still working. The knowing look she gives you is enough to make you sit down, obedient.

“I can’t cook to save my life.” You explain, giggling to cover the shame of having to admit such a fact. “Yoona does it effortlessly, though. Her pastries are the best.”

Ryujin nods, scrunching her nose as she looks around. “And where’s your friend, may I ask?” Her smirk turns playful, pointy canines exposed at you. “Are you not taking care of her right now?”

“She’s not a child, right? She can take care of herself.” Although you play along in her game — repeating what she’d told you the day prior, you’re also quick to add. “Besides, she’s sleeping right now. Chaery always sleeps until late after a party.”

“Lucky her.” Ryujin whistles, and you agree. You wish you could sleep like your best friend, too. Not only did Chaeryeong often sleep until late at noon, but she’s also the heaviest sleeper you’ve ever met, unlike yourself. You envy her ability to sleep through literally anything possible.

Yoona calls for you to get Ryujin’s order, which you quickly do. The dishes look impeccable once you place them on the table. Yoona never misses.

It wasn’t rare to have customers who came by themselves, with the desire to have a moment of peace and enjoy their meals. With that in mind, you motion to leave, leaving Ryujin alone to do just that. She surprises you by grabbing your hand, ever so gently.

“This one’s for you, actually.” She pushes the pancake plate in your direction, hand still holding on to yours. Her fingers trace gentle circles in your palm. “Would mind joining me? I hate to eat alone.”

Leaving you without words is, apparently, one of Ryujin’s many talents. Once again, you feel drawn to her, incapable of saying no. It’s something in her eyes, you suppose; the way she stares at you, attentive, from the moment you first met each other. She acknowledges every little detail about you, and most importantly, she listens. You didn’t know someone could understand you entirely like that — it’s both thrilling and scary, to know you’re so aligned.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” You murmur, and she shakes her head, in a clear sign that you don’t.

The two of you eat, soon engaged in lively conversation. It’s a pleasant surprise, to know Ryujin is much more than a pretty, intimidating face: she’s smart, funny, and very attentive. You both enjoy the same books, and she’s respectful and mindful when sharing her perspective about topics you disagree on. Time flies, and you find yourself comfortable in her presence.

Getting you to talk about yourself is difficult — even Chaeryeong has to ask repeatedly to get information from you. You just can’t help it: being raised to be a discreet, private person has created the habit of bottling up your emotions, and hiding things until you couldn’t handle them anymore.

However, the words flow freely with Ryujin. You want to share about your life, your hobbies, the people you love… it’s just somewhat easy when it comes to her.

And she doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Far from that, Ryujin drinks from you: acknowledging every little detail about yourself, enchanted and marveled.

You barely notice how quickly you’ve eaten breakfast, not even a small bite left. Ryujin is surprised, too, to not have noticed either. You’ve distracted her and knocked down her defenses without even meaning to do so.

“Okay, so I might’ve come here with a purpose…” She says, and you shake your head. Of course, she did. “In my defense, I found this on my bedside table, a little after you left, and it looked pretty fancy to just keep to myself.”

In her hands, there’s a cross necklace, shining in bright silver. Your fingers go to your neck unconsciously, in hopes of touching the one you kept with yourself at all times — only to hold on to the air, instead. You grasp, bile bundling up in your stomach at the thought of the hours you’ve spent without your precious necklace.

As soon as you reach out for it, Ryujin holds the jewelry away from your hands.

“May I?” She unclasps the lock, gesturing to where it should be rested.

You nod, eager to have your necklace back. Holding your hair away from your face, you turn around, waiting for her. Her breath is hot on the back of your neck, and for a moment, you think she might kiss you. Instead, she takes a step back, a proud look on her face as she runs her thumb against the bruises on your collarbone. “There. All done, angel.”

“Thank you.” The words that leave your mouth are sincere, and you can’t muster how grateful you truly are. “I… Thank you, really. This is so important to me. How can I repay you?”

No matter how much you might hate Rosé at the current moment, that necklace means everything to you. It reminds you of a time when things were less complicated. When you were too young to understand what was truly going on in your life, lost in the innocence of childhood.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ryujin brushes it off, getting up quickly. She drops some money on the table, definitely much more than what she’s ordered. “We’ll see each other soon. Bye, Y/n. You look beautiful, by the way.”

Just as fast as she appeared, Ryujin’s gone. Leaving you to wonder what’s underneath all that mysterious façade, you go back to your chores, unable to brush the raven-haired girl off from your thoughts.

—

Rosé’s been having one hell of a week. Weeks, or even a month.

As if dealing with her family’s business wasn’t enough, with people constantly waiting for an opportunity to betray her and plan their downfall, this new gang that’s been stealing all her clients and supplies has been pissing her off in ways she didn’t deem possible. And now, she has your stupid feelings to worry about. God, you’re so damn sensitive it drives her crazy.

“Rosie?” Lisa’s voice reminds the woman she’s in the middle of a meeting — one she called herself. “What’s going on? You’ve been distracted ever since you walked through the door.”

“Yeah. This fucking sucks, but don’t fret too much. It’s not like we’ve not dealt with situations like those before. Those bitches will get what they deserve.” Jisoo says, in an attempt to soothe Rosé’s nerves. Her tone is excited — perhaps too much.

She’s always been a little masochist.

They’re right, which only makes Rosé more frustrated. She should be planning her revenge, not pouting over a stupid fight.

“I know, it’s just—“ She sighs. “Never mind. Let’s get this over with.”

They all nod, chatting vividly, but Rosé’s phone lights up before she’s able to join the conversation. There’s a message from an unknown number, which is unusual.

The content of it is what unsettles her the most. Her mouth dries and the air runs from her lungs as she stares at the image sent — A picture of you, boobs covered by someone’s arms and bare waist filled with bruises.

The message under it says Thank you for the guns and the snack. I’ll make sure to come back for more, later.

It doesn’t have a slight indication of who sent it, but Rosé doesn’t need a confirmation. She knows exactly who did.

“Jennie!” She screams, even though the girl is not far away from herself, sitting by the long table in the dining room. “Grab the stuff immediately. We’ll do this at my house, instead.” And so she turns, barging orders as she goes.

No one’s going to use her little sister as bait and live.

This newcomer might’ve had a few strikes of beginner's luck, but Rosé’s patience had run thin. She wouldn’t tolerate any insolences anymore, no.

She’ll have Ryujin’s head.

[beom1e]

eternal masterlist

ephemeral masterlist | plot-accurate playlist

beomgyu was your first love, even though it had been a short-lived experience. but a not-so-white lie caused the downfall of your relationship in a matter of minutes, and left you unable to forgive him. though, in the end, you’re both doing just fine.

eternal — having no beginning and no end, lasting forever. bliss, continuing without interruption.

pairing choi beomgyu x fem! reader.

genre the aftermath, kind of a university au, film student! reader, music student! beomgyu, social media au, angsty fluff.

warning breakup, poor life choices, prior character death, alcohol use, cursing, club / party culture.

featuring miyawaki sakura, kim chaewon, huh yunjin, nakamura kazuha, shin ryujin, shin yuna, natty.

chapters

profiles | city girlz | quiet time

prologue | sometime in june

01 | Yeonjun & co.

02 | zuha vs clubbing

03 | beom Liked

04 | grad dates

05 | yikes..

06 | bro fumbled

07 | what if

08 | bad morning

09 | crush denial

10 | sometimes sleepy

11 | hit vegas?

12 | collided

13 | the villain

14 | the hsm way

15 | she’s ai

16 | um, hey

17 | i can hope

18 | goodnight beomgyu

19 | deprived

20 | Big trouble

21 | whose car?

status ongoing.

taglist @beomsitez @wccycc @captivq @wave2love @soobsfairy444 @woncheecks @gyuville @hyeinszn @wonioml @soonyoungblr @axo-l0tl @isascat @bgomtori @strawbrinkofdeath @minhoino @run2seob @bangchansbae @xxmaysaaxx @moagyuu @suurejann @cherries-blooms @koeuh @ameliesaysshoo @n034sy @starrsea @destairea @barbi2709 @alyssajavenss @lily-loves-kpop @bunnisoobin @lolos-hoes @rikizm @mwahvvis @heegyuwrld @zzhyuu @damn-u-min-yoongi @junsprincess @miyawwn @ja4hyvn @20-cms @y2kgyu @luvfrgyu @junnmizz @myknifeyourlife @joonsvision @soobiary @vivienne2000 @cheesemonky

taglist availability 2 / 50

[sunsuns-babie]

If I Get My Way {K.SUNOO x F!READER}

IN WHICH: Kim Seonwoo aka Sunoo is a Sophomore at Decelis University and has a crush on the pretty Music Education Major Y/n Marsh. Seems like a match made in heaven since he’s also a Music Education Major and has had a crush on her since Freshman year when he met her at orientation… well sort of. He’s a little delusional about her but that’s okay, right? When finally given the opportunity to get to know her and potentially date her some weird things start happening that Sunoo doesn’t quite understand… which leads to the postponement of his grand plan to confess his feelings for Y/n. At the end of the day does he get the girl or does he miss out and think of what could’ve been?

ALSO IN WHICH: Sunoo and Y/n’s friends also have their own storylines and side quest relationships happening simultaneously with theirs.

PAIRING: Kim Sunoo x !Female Reader (ft. Mystery Character 1 & Mystery Character 2)

GENRE: Non-Idol AU, College/University AU, SMAU

WARNING: Swearing, sexual jokes/comments, allusion to sexual activity, attempts at humor (I don’t think I’m funny but I’m trying), jokes about murder/killing oneself, and Danielle from NewJeans as the face claim.

FEATURING: Lee Heeseung (EN—), Jay Park (EN—), Jake Sim (EN—), Park Sunghoon (EN—), Yang Jungwon (EN—), NI-KI (EN—), Jang Wonyoung (IVE), Shin Ryujin (ITZY), Choi Yeonjun (TXT), Choi Soobin (TXT), Choi Beomgyu (TXT), Karina (aespa), NingNing (aespa), Huh Yunjin (LE SSERAFIM), Yoon Keeho (P1HARMONY), Anton Lee (riize), Hwang Yeji (ITZY), and mentions of various other idols.

status: temporarily put on hiatus

start: Feb. 12, 2024

end:

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction and is in no way a real depiction of the idols portrayed in it and has no actual connection to their real world selves. I don’t know them I’m just using their image for characters in a fictional story.

A/N: This is my first SMAU ever I’ve written stories on other platforms in the past and kind of stopped to be a reader for awhile but I recently got an idea for a story and wanted to try and make it a reality. So please forgive me if it’s bad I’ll try my best to make it enjoyable for you. But I barely know how to work Tumblr as a creator or writer so forgive me if this is all over the place 😭😭😭.

A/N 2: If you want to be added to the taglist for this SMAU you can comment on this post or which ever chapter you see first!

INCOMING MESSAGES…

PROFILES: 2 HOT 4 U LONER BOYS CLUB (ft. 2 Baddies)

01: bitch boy

02: you’re not my mom

03: DDEONU GOOD!!!

03.5: bonus chapter 1

04: we going on a date 🤪

04.5: bonus chapter 2

05: free food + written part (755 wrds)

06: blasting Olivia Rodrigo traitor

07: Love changes a man ❤️❤️

07.5: bonus chapter 3

08: keeho is a furry confirmed ✅

08.5: bonus chapter 4 [written part] (1,304 wrds)

09: KILLING MYSELF [POSTPONED]

10: tba….

10.5: bonus chapter 5

11: tba…

12: tba…

13: tba…

14: tba…

15: tba…

16: tba…

17: tba…

18: tba…

19: tba…

20: tba…

[roomsofangel]

. . SO IT GOES !

if you asked choi san, his soulmate was absolutely crazy — who the hell eats sardines at three in the morning? not only that, but why was his pizza missing?

if you asked y/n l/n, she was just really hungry.

pairing dancer!san x barista!fem!reader

genre/tags social media au, written, humor/crack, fluff, angst, suggestive, slow burn (kinda, depending on how you see it), college / soulmate au

warnings timestamps/sm numbers + hair colors dont mean anything, but my raging perfectionism tries to make it coherent and matchy. a lot of swearing because im incapable of writing anything that doesn’t involve my sailor mouth. mentions of unhealthy eating/overall serious topics. questionable humor. cyber bullying. sexism/slutshaming. mental illness/anxiety. a lot of dishonesty on san’s end since he isn’t ready for a soulmate. mentions of alcohol/drugs. y/n had a tough childhood that will be mentioned in brief passing but all chapters will have a more thorough warnings if needed — please let me know if i missed something!

notes the taglist is open! & y/n does have a specific faceclaim for pictures, but i try to use a variety!

featuring ateez, a few ocs for y/n’s friends, kang taehyun & choi yeonjun (txt), lee felix (stray kids), shin ryujin (itzy)

status ongoing

elf practice | dysFUNctional family | priv accounts

(quality possibly will suck until chapter twelve! apologies! i moved over this fic from @solenthill to this account and didnt realize how bad the quality was</3)

. . # chapters !

chapter zero | chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight | chapter nine | chapter ten | chapter eleven | chapter twelve | chapter thirteen | chapter fourteen | chapter fifteen | chapter sixteen | chapter seventeen | chapter eighteen | chapter nineteen | chapter twenty | twenty one | to be continued

[srjlvr]

hit me up! on Roblox > ( 이희승 )

҂ PAIRING ➤ idol!heeseung X idol-fem!Reader

҂ SYNOPSIS ➤ your past on roblox was…..something special. especially when your only friend who played roblox with you is now a famous idol. after years of disappearing and not logging in your old account you decided to do it and search for your long lost friend, lee heeseung. oh! and what a surprise! he decided to do the same thing after craving for some connection with his long lost friend, who’s now a famous idol.

҂ FEATURING ➤ rest of enha members , ot5 lesserafim , shin ryujin as yn.

҂ GENRE ➤ fluff , crack , childhood friends to strangers to friends to lovers (omfg).

҂ WARNINGS ➤ curse words (i cant hold it) , kms/kys jokes , roblox (idk if its a trigger but imma put it here) , obv annoying fans + i’ll include warnings in each ep if necessary !

҂ STATUS ➤ discontinued !

҂ TAG-LIST ➤ closed !

҂ NOTE ➤ please note that i do not remember a lot from roblox so sorry if i offend anyone in any kind of way!! HOPEFULLY i’ll be able to finish this smau too😭

!! DISCLAIMER !! everything here is FICTIONAL , if you don’t like it, don’t read it !! also, photos and so are NOT mine and i give full credits to the owners !!

PROFILES — ✧ ; mi less-fear👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻 ; epipen💯✅

— ✧ 01 ; ‘oh its lee heeseung’

— ✧ 02 ; ‘ilovejeonjungkook’

— ✧ 03 ; ‘im gonna cry myself to sleep’

— ✧ 04 ; ‘is that y/n…?’

— ✧ 05 ; ‘HAD A REUNION!!’

— ✧ 06 ; ‘living in denial might cause depression yk🤕🤕🤕’

tnx for supporting!!

••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.

[macaroonff]

This Autumn, - Shin Ryujin

Genre: Roommates x lovers, College +Domestic Au, Autumn feels Pairing: Shin Ryujin x fem! Reader ↪Content warnings: Mentions of a dysfunctional families, slight angst, mentions of homophobia, mention of insecurities Word Count: 7k+ words Suggested Songs: We found Love in October- Girl In Red I wanna be your girlfriend- Girl in Red Bubble gum- Clairo Duvet- Bôa October Passed Me By- Girl in Red Girls-Girl in Red Softly- Clairo You know where this playlist is heading- feel free to recommend more ↪not proofread

Sometimes fall meant that the clarity of summer had ended, and that the dryness wasn't accompanied by sweat, but by the heaviness of hoodies and the bareness of barks. A bore compared to the freedom and excitement that summer offered; a dispirited time when you look back to the last three months. 

Of course autumn wasn't all bad. The colours took on a warmer palette as the trees bore themselves devoid of its warmth: warmth which could be found in campfires and cosy sheets; in people's hugs and weighted blankets; in hot lattes, crunchy leaves and early sunsets.

But when assignments piled up from the start of the season, finding opportunities to revel in such warmth seemed unsuccessful. You hurriedly tried composing yourself from last month's activities: internships, staycations and pool parties, returning from a whirlwind of adrenaline. It was exhausting, and you were burnt out before the semester even started. 

But a student you were; a decent one you tried to be, as you file your assignments, albeit slowly due to sleep deprivation. The first week of autumn went by with professors dumping assignments immediately as you try to ease the pace at which you deal with it. Clearly, autumn had you drained from day one.

Autumn hated you more than you hated it.

Autumn, two weeks in wasn't too bad. You took time to catch up on deadlines, you made plans with friends, went on walks and you got especially close to your new roommate. Her name was Ryujin, a dark haired divinity with prominent features that meshed gently. Someone who never forgot to get you your daily dose of iced latte and her favourite mocha bread from the café opposite your dorm.

It started when she came back from her evening lectures on a Thursday, holding one mug in her hand, a woolly scarf tucked into her shirt. She came in to see you with hands knitted in your hair, frustrated at the work you had, feet bobbing in concentration. 

A small 'hi' was all that you returned when you noticed her presence.

"Another stressful assignment?," she asks, concerned. Her low timbre is soothing and takes you out of your sums for a brief moment, a sigh escaping your chapped lips.

"It’s calculus." You make eye contact for the first time since she entered, a polite smile greeting her, though the frown almost tilted the other way. 

She waved her hands in a light motion acknowledging your concern, the room key in her palm dangling in it to make a soft clack. 

"Understandable, it's a real headache, especially since you're in Mr Lee’s course. Anything I could help you with?"

"I just need a break," you reply dejectedly, hoping to get away from your monotonous, monstrous tasks. 

"Wanna watch a movie?" she asks, a soft grin hiding on her face. She watches your ears perk up and your eyes shine at the suggestion, to which a chuckle remains stuck in her throat.

"Why don't you choose something and I'll join you after I'm done freshening up." she hands you the remote before walking into her room, grabbing her white towel from the laundry rack.

You sit in silence and wallow in contemplation. Choosing a movie, should be easy. 

Would a sappy rom-com distracting you from your lamentable, gapingly non-existent love life suffice? Or did you need another of those poorly directed and filmed action ones, which would, undoubtedly help you fix your sleep schedule. But then again, would Ryujin watch it? What’s a movie she’d like? Slice of life? Coming of age? Horror?

A change in the lighting of the room, and Ryujin’s tap on your shoulder was what eventually brought you out of your dilemma, and you take your vacant stare off of the blank tv screen towards your roommate instead.

The warm lights had blurred everything in the background in a way that it brought Ryujin’s face into focus, a soft glow emanating from her cheeks. Her hair was wet, the towel lazily wrapped around her supple hair, doing a measly job at keeping it from seeping into her t-shirt. Her oversized black t-shirt had patches of darker spots that clinged to her because of it, making you worried she might catch a cold. You rush to hand her a new towel, one that would actually help. 

“Don’t catch a cold, not the best time of the year to fall sick.” you whisper.

She smiles in appreciation and holds your arm, accepting the fabric for you. "You're cold too y/n. It'd probably be best for us to grab some blankets." 

After ten minutes of rummaging through your creaky cabinets and five minutes of popping corn, you were ready to distance yourself from your headaches, with new-found warmth in your newly washed duvets. 

Snug and pressed against the cushions of the sofa, with your head on her shoulder. Snug as she pats your back until the television's whisper no longer has your attention and you find your heavy eyelids closing on their own. 

Snug as you embrace sleep after months of running away from it.

Snug, however, wasn't what you felt when you woke up in the morning, blankets tangled between your legs, and an annoying ache in your ribs, due to the crushing weight of your favourite cushion. 

Snugness was replaced by the bitterness of another new day, and your long forgotten assignments weighed heavier than they did before. 

All of a sudden last night's peace was something you regretted. And you regret having been swayed by someone you considered an acquaintance.

If Shin Ryujin hadn’t offered, you'd never have taken a break. You'd never have given yourself the opportunity to be wasteful with time. You shouldn't have been tempted by the thought of a moment's freedom. 

Freedom that remained a mirage. A mirage that showed you a time of comfort. Comfort that would last one evening until you'd have to revisit everything you ran away from.

What's the point in having comfort if it's given by someone you interact with for three hours a day? What was the point in comfort if it was momentary?

Shin Ryujin was a roommate you'd have for only two more months until her grandparent's apartment was done with renovations.

Shin Ryujin was temporary.

Autumn three weeks in, was no different. Except that your backlog had increased, your sleep schedule got worse and all that you cared about was getting over with your to-do lists. How you had energy to do everything one by one remained a mystery, but you soon realised that it wasn’t energy that drove you to finish work, but the fear of running out of it sooner or later. As if it wasn’t already obvious, you were on the brink of burnout.

Not that you hated burnout. For some reason being burnt out meant that you'd be forced to take time out for mental health sooner or later. You would be forced to slow down like you did last week. 

Sitting down and finally looking back, last week felt like a distant memory so far away from your reality. It was a privilege you gave yourself, and it was so worth it, contrary to what you felt immediately. She was right, the movie did help, the movie did get you back into a safe space from your anxiety; and you never cared to thank her for it. 

You’d do it today. Thanking her. You absolutely had to.

You spent the next ninety minutes planning the best way to return the favour. Essentially, you spent the next ninety minutes going back on all the little things Ryujin did for you. Which led to the realisation that her love language was a careful amalgamation of acts of service, quality time and physical touch. 

“Maybe I’ll just bake mocha bread. I couldn’t go wrong with that,” you contemplate. You weren’t the best baker on earth, however you had enough experience to go ahead with it.

All you needed was milk, eggs, flour, yeast, sugar and coffee. Everything you had at home, really not much could go wrong.

Until it did. There was no way the universe would let you have anything good before your semester tests. Of course it had to sabotage you when you tried to do one thing with actual love behind it.

The microwave oven she brought in with her beeped once before a loud pop stopped you in your tracks. It was overheated, and nothing you did brought the irksome device back to life. No matter how many buttons you pushed vigorously, or hit the back of it tiresomely, the empty  black box on the door showed no sign of the tiny numbers signalling time left.

Time left. You look at the Ikea clock hung on the wall. Ten minutes more for the bread to be baked until completion, and thirty minutes until she’d come back and discover this mess and the damage to her microwave.

And boy does she love that microwave.

Shin Ryujin knew something was wrong when she entered later at night, almost too late for you to be up right now, just a little before midnight, the smell of sweet coffee greeting her. She’d gone to visit the apartment her grandparents had bought for her, a half hour from here. She was so caught up in finalising the layout that she forgot to mention that she’d be late home. What’s worse was that she had got caught in heavy traffic, and her phone lost charge in the middle of dialling you. 

And when she got up here, completely spent from the work, it took very little for her to be consumed by frustration. Not particularly because of you. None of it had to do with you. She knew that the tedious microwave was ancient and that her parents only gave it to her to get rid of it. She also knew that she should’ve told you about it sooner, before it actually became a problem. So no, in no way was this your fault. 

She looked at your head buried under your arm on the dining table with a mitten on one hand and a post-it under your elbow. The post-it didn’t say much, just scribbled and crossed out words that all seemed to resemble different “I’m sorrys" and “microwaves". You had multiple other post-its crumpled nearby and she picked all of them up and carefully opened them one by one. Between the creases, one said, “I’m so sorry for the microwave Ryujin, ik you treasure it because your parents lent it to you. I just wanted to thank you for last week and I thought I’d bake your favourite but -” it stopped there at which point you must’ve crumpled it. 

Ryujin let her sight wander across the baking utensils washed and stacked neatly on the drying rack and a box of half baked, burnt dough nearby. She smiles, both grateful and apologetic, an urge to caress your head settling in. She takes a closer look at you, trying to figure how she could deposit you to your bed. 

She slowly lifts your head up, wiping excess dough from near your frowning mouth, and her eyes wander up, to your slightly fluttering eyelids facing the yellow lights. It was then under the warm lights that she noticed semi-dried tears under your lashes. Another surge of guilt ran through her, thinking of how worried you must’ve been. 

In the cold kitchen, she lifts you off the chair as carefully as she can and gently drags you across the living room. It was when she’d propped you against the headboard that you stir awake.

Through half-lidded eyes, you take in whatever you can. Ryujin was holding on to your hand gasping slightly.

“Ryujin?” you whisper.

“Shit I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she looks at you a little surprised.

“I’m so sorry-” you mumble in desperation.

“Shh," she places a palm over your eyes, "don’t worry about it love. Go to bed, we’ll talk in the morning”

You aren’t convinced but you also realise that now isn’t the best time to talk. Ryujin’s eyebags seemed deeper in the warm light and you knew both of you needed a decent rest. It had been a hectic time for the two of you, and all you needed was sleep.

Ryujin still had the benevolence to pull the blanket over you and stroke your hair until you fell asleep.

It was the second time you fell asleep in her arms.

The following weekend you were on a shopping trip.

At a semi-large Ikea warehouse about forty minutes away from the campus. It was Ryujin's idea to come out here despite you convincing her to find a shop closer, but she insisted.

"Trust me, it'll be fun. We can look at furniture too."

Of course, she needed new furniture. It slowly dawns on you that you have very little time to spend with her in your home. Home.

You don't remember the last time you called your dorm a home. For all that you knew, it was a messy damp space that you couldn't wait to escape from, an absolute nightmare with it's cramped furniture. But it was cosy, something you couldn't deny now.

Maybe because you were with her. All her little habits that grew on you, her impeccable daily routine that had become a source of stability in your life, even her lesser known quirks such as keeping a picture of her two cats at home framed on her desk and kissing the before going to her classes in the morning.

You admired all of it, and it wouldn't have been the same if it were someone else. You never felt like this with your previous room mates. They were just people who lived in their own solitary spaces. But with Ryujin, somehow you were involved in most housework together. You felt involved, and somewhere more loved than in your own home.

Your family wasn't bad, at least on the surface. They never compromised when it came to your education or your standard of living. But somewhere between those lines were impossible expectations they wouldn't hold themselves to either. And you got tired of them easily. They hid toxicity behind "criticism", where criticism only meant negatives beyond your control. Your last year of high school, particularly faced extreme criticism, and you felt your confidence dipping. You managed though. You're not entirely sure how you coped, but with support from school, you managed a scholarship, a meagre one but still enough to get away from your family.

You hadn't seen them in three years.

Ryujin, on the other hand, had a lovely family, and you were, at times jealous of how perfect she seemed; how perfect everything around her seemed.

She seemed to have every aspect of her life in order. Whether it be top of the class majoring in Business, or being captain of the girl's football team, or the fact that she could spare three hours to stay with her paint brushes and that they would come out having the entire beauty of the universe encompassed in them. She could manage being both a homebody, while still being popular in school, she could be assertive when she needed to be without actually disturbing the fragile ego of most in her class.

She surpassed every definition of balance mentioned in the dictionary. She was living it, breathing it. Stability.

You admired her, a lot, but you couldn't stop this ridiculously miniscule base of malevolence in your heart. And every day you were scared it would become worse.

Especially now, when all she wanted was to spend precious time with you, constantly putting effort into your friendship whereas you were held back by bitter thoughts. And you hated yourself for it.

You force back your envy, distracting yourself by browsing through the shelves of cutlery displayed. You notice the absence of Ryujin's presence, and slowly find yourself lost in this maze of a shop. Maybe it was better that she wasn't in this aisle now, or else you wouldn't be able to face her with the guilt of having thought of her so poorly.

You find yourself interested in the array of pretty pink melamine plates stacked in front of you, in the stainless steel spoons with animal handles, and little napkin holders shaped like boats. You pick up different pans, weighing how heavy each is, looking to keep your brain unnecessarily busy. If you spend a second more comparing yourself with Ryujin, you knew you wouldn't be able to think of anything else for the entire day, or week.

You remember what your therapist told you, all the comfort and validation that you needed pouring in through words. You open up your notes, all the affirmations typed out one by one. You repeat them in your mind, with a new goal in sight.

You wouldn't let your insecurity ruin another good relationship. Especially not with Ryujin.

She emerges after some time, holding in her hand, a grey device, and a grin painted on her face. "I think this is the one. It's a cool toaster cum oven sort of thing, and it's cheap," she winks at you.

How was she so decisive? you think again. It had only taken her fifteen minutes. If it were you, you'd have taken forty minutes more.

"I trust your decision," you reply, giving her a soft smile. You notice her eyebrows raise a little. "You sure?," she asks. "You usually don't agree this fast. You have this terrible habit of sitting on decisions for ages." she rambles on.

You take a moment to process this. You knew it was true, and she probably didn't mean malice, but it was not something you'd accept easily.

Ryujin never had to think twice about what she wanted. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she always got it. Whereas every decision you seemed to make bore consequences you didn't want. And often, the times you didn't heavily weight them out was when things backfired. The last time being with the microwave oven.

It was the only way you knew to trust yourself.

So it irks you greatly when Ryujin calls it a "terrible habit". Because for you, it was a habit that gave you security. Certainty wasn't achievable, but you'd try as fucking close as you could get, and Shin Ryujin won't tell you otherwise.

She'd never understand how imperfect you were. She'd never understand the little complexities that hold you back. For the most part, she had life easy. What would she ever understand?

You ignore her comment, instead picking up a ceramic mug from the shelf, thumbing on the floral patterns glazed onto it.

Ryujin barely senses your predicament, instead grabbing onto the mug placed besides the one you hold onto. "These are pretty, it's like a cute matching set. We should get them," she winks.

The rest of the day follows with more furniture in your cart, and mostly unnecessary plushies plaguing your living room. New pillows, potted plants, wardrobe organisers, a work desk and the biggest Djungelskog bear lying near the couch.

It dawns on you the next morning, after waking up to the chaos, that she was shifting out in two weeks.

On the first of October.

All of a sudden she was busy, very busy, and the two of you barely met, with bigger gaps in your schedule. Part of it was because of Ryujin arranging her main furniture in her new house, and part of it was because you were busy with academics, only that it was voluntary this time. It just so happened that you needed a few more credits to retain your scholarship, the only thing weighing your new found freedom. Along with that, you busied yourself so that you didn't have to face Ryujin later at night.

You were scared. Other than the obvious rent that you'd have to pay by yourself, you also avoided other parts of this change that bothered you. Which was spending time with her. You were scared you'd miss her a bit too much.

Sure, you were friends who were only half an hour away, but now that her colourful room started fading into a bleak white, the emptiness of it reminded you of why you hated autumn. The fall orange left you feeling lonely, and like the very leaves that craved pigmentation, you craved more life. Regardless of the minimal time you spent with her in the evenings, she slowly integrated herself into your life in the smaller ways.

Now they weigh too much in your life for you to be able to cope without it. You ended up distancing yourself from her, in a pathetic attempt to cope with the anticipation of absence. Maybe you just needed more friends, the thought crossing your mind a lot more these days. But you had plenty of them at uni, most of who you loved. But none of them were Ryujin.

None of them cared for you as much as she did. None of them taught you how to care for yourself like she did. None of them held you in their arms throughout the night, until you felt rested and loved. Nobody inspired you as much as Ryujin did.

Maybe Ryujin wasn't just a friend, something you were scared to consider in the past few weeks. It was a feeling completely new. Other than a failed situation-ship in high school, you never considered the possibility of a relationship, much less exploring your sexuality.

It was an intimidating prospect that you hadn't considered. Something that initiated urgency more than curiosity. Unlike the diverse spectrum that your feelings for Shin Ryujin belonged to, your thoughts focused on just one. She was important in more ways than platonic, and the distance that was to be would be extremely difficult to cope with. The distance that you had created seemed silly, but at the same time there was nothing you could think to resolve the conflict. You were going against this wall you'd built for yourself, and the facade of distance only grew day by day. So much so that at one point, Ryujin stopped approaching you first.

In a way, you deserved it. For someone who had been so unreceptive to her life as a coping method, this is the least you deserved for being a little jerk. Why would someone pursue any relationship, even platonic if you'd put yourself back into the mega cage you thought you'd escaped from. Something you'd escaped from only temporarily in her presence. Something you're going back to by the next week when she's gone.

You suffer multiple sleepless nights, the mid terms only a catalyst to your loneliness, when all you remember is Ryujin and her quirks.

You do accept another roommate later on, a mutual contact in your friend group, someone who was introduced to you by Ryujin herself. She'd dropped in a small text at 8 in the morning, on the way to class, you'd assumed. All it did was talk about how a common friend, Yeji needed a room to stay.

You accepted it of course, because you didn't have to foot the entire month's bill but also because you thought having someone else would curb your loneliness. And this loneliness was stupid. Ryujin wasn't the only thing you had in your entire life, and she should've been inconsequential, the same way the daylight hours gradually decreased. But it isn't too hard to notice once the sun's gone down.

The new roommate was like a transition from summer to winter, but unlike Ryujin , who helped ease the transition between the seasons, this one only reminded you that it would be cold. She wasn't a bad roommate, no she was perfect, did the laundry on Wednesdays, did the evening dishes at 6 and gave you lots of personal space. She was nice, but not like Ryujin.

You hated how you compared her to Ryujin, how you compared everything to her. "She isn't your entire world," you remind yourself. "Shin Ryujin was only temporary."

You'd decided that your feelings for her were only a means for you to be validated. That was all you'd craved from her, and that was all she'd given you- validation.

On October 15th, you feel relieved. Your mid terms were over with and you had a little bit of free time. Were you going to spend it wisely? Of course not.

You were going to sit in bed all day, scrolling through Youtube, a luxury you'd afford yourself rarely in the last month. You went home early, to a somewhat excitable Yeji. Another rare sight.

"What's up?" you ask her, noticing her vibrant demeanour.

"Nothing much, Ryujin's coming over today."

You're surprised to hear this, and a little disappointed that Ryujin never told you herself. Or maybe there was no reason to, it's not like you kept in touch with her.

"That's cool, are you guys ordering something? Or should I make food for you two?" you offer, realising the amount of free time you had.

"We'll just order pizza," she replies. She hesitates for sometime, as if she has something to say. "Y/n?" she calls out slowly.

"Hmm?" "...you're nothing like what Ryujin described you as."

You still in your spot.

"It's just that you're really kind you know. I thought you'd be more distant, and cold."

"Ryujin said that? About me?"

She nods her head.

Is that really how she saw you? Distant and cold? Sure you were closed off towards the end, but is that really who you were to her? After all the good memories? You weren't sure anymore, insecurity creeping inside you.

It hurt. Was it this easy for people to be unforgiving? But then again, you never apologised, so in a weird way what Yeji relayed sounded justified.

You offer her a stiff smile.

"I'll be in my room then, tell me if you need anything."

Dejected, you go back to your blank room, where even the orange of autumn feels comforting, something you hated previously. You stay inside the entire evening, occasional sounds of muffled laughter behind your walls being all that you focus on for the duration. Every time you heard her laugh loudly from behind the door, you wondered if she ever laughed like that in front of you. Did you ever make her feel happy? The same way she did to you?

You want to go out and say hi, but after what Yeji said, you stop yourself. She must hate you now, there was no other way.

It isn't later at night, after you're sure the laughter was no more, and only when the silence of the room becomes comforting, you step out to see a dim blue light in the darkness of the living room, Yeji working on the dining table. "Y/n, didn't come out to say hi to Ryujin?" she asks, with pity that sounds forced.

"Yeah, no I was just napping," you lie, "did anything fun happen?"

"Mhm, we were discussing Ryujin's blind date tomorrow with a senior from the engineering department. Apparently, he's handsome," she shrugs her shoulder.

"Ryujin likes boys?" you ask without realising.

"Hmm, I'm not sure actually."

A small part of you feels dejected as you get a glass of water, all while contemplating if you should have reached out.

"You like her don't you?" Yeji whispers, looking up from her laptop.

It's the second time you still in your spot. Yeji had brought up something you never thought was prominent.

"Your lights were on, I could tell from your slightly ajar door. You weren't sleeping were you?" she gives you a knowing smile.

"I'm not judging you- it's just that it's obvious that you miss her. It may or not may be romantic- but you do miss her don't you?". You don't know how to reply to her. You barely knew Yeji, but somehow she very accurately read your emotions.

As if she knows what you're thinking, she continues.

"You know, every time that I've tried bringing up Ryujin, you've always changed the conversation, instead isolating yourself in your room."

Looking back, it made sense. You didn't want to think about her anymore. Your meeting with Ryujin's was temporary and never mattered. It was almost crazy how dependent you were on her within just a few months.

" I realised that I don't know much about Ryujin, nor does she about me. Sure I know she loves mocha bread, she loves her big Ikea Djungelskog soft toy, that she's watched the perks of being a wallflower more times than she can count; but I don't think I could be truly vulnerable with her. I'm scared to be vulnerable with her."

Yeji sighs, almost disappointed. She went back to working, despite her twitching lips, like she had more to say.

That night, you reflect for longer. Why was it that you felt scared to lean on Ryujin? Technically you told her about troubles with academics, problems with some of your classmates- that is considered being vulnerable right? Then what was it that you wanted her to know, but you never wanted to admit? Was it your insecurities? Was it the thought she'd never understand it?

It was like your mind had accepted that you and Ryujin had come from two different worlds, and if you invited her into yours, she would run away, like your family. Despite you coming to terms with it, the distance with your family was a wound still fresh. And nothing would change, until you could put it behind you.

25th October, Yeji handed you an invite to one of her friend's Halloween parties.

After your confession, she'd been a little nicer; she was more active in initiating conversations, and you realised she was more extroverted than your first impression. Eventually, you did watch the Maze Runner with her again, and you appreciated how she gushed about Dylan O'Brien throughout it, dispelling any awkward moments.

"I designed this invitation by the way, cool isn't it?", she asks about the party invitation in your hand. It had black bat details engraved in a glossy reflective paper. "Please come, we've had a difficult week, one party won't hurt will it?" she states, the question more rhetorical.

You agree quietly, excitement bubbling in you.

Until it did hurt, a week later.

Barely five minutes after you enter the loud, congested apartment, with strangers in costumes, you felt a part of your heart drop. There was a tight feeling in your chest, something you were sure wasn't because of the new corset you wore. Because you felt comfortable seconds before you saw Ryujin with her hands wrapped around this guys neck, kissing him on the couch as if he were her entire life. At first, you weren't even sure it was her- her hair was shorter, dyed a platinum blonde. She wore a leather jacket and a white skater dress, dressed so differently than what you were used to seeing her in.

You weren't able to comprehend how good she looked in his arms, with all her attention focused on him, smiling. The same smile that you'd missed for a month. When she does look away from the vampire- you assumed was her boyfriend, her eyes scan the crowd and she almost looks bewildered. You were stood so motionless near the entrance from where you could see them, that even the crowd that pushed past you couldn't bring you to move. It was suffocating, and unconsciously you head for the exit, looking to get away.

But fate wouldn't be so kind would it? The universe wouldn't just let you be would it? "Are you leaving already y/n?" Yeji screams from across the room, which you were sure was audible to everyone. She finds her way to you, a smile on her face. "You just came in, why are you leaving? Cool outfit by the way."

"Thanks," you offer her a stiff smile, eyes going back to Ryujin, who because of Yeji, had finally found you.

Yeji, who just noticed the tension, holds your hand and pulls you towards Ryujin.

"Atleast say hi, y/n, it won't hurt."

Yeji's assurance of "it won't hurt" was what brought you here, it was indeed what hurt you. Her saying this now wasn't helping, and you scoff. It was almost like Yeji knew this was going to happen. It was like she knew how much it hurt you, and may even enjoy it.

"Why did you invite me Yeji? You knew about this didn't you? It hurts, I..I shouldn't have come." you spit out, trembling.

"Y/n, there's something you need to know."

"What? that she has a boyfriend?" you spat, annoyed by her deception.

Yeji sighs, holding onto your shoulders, somewhat urgent.

"No, it's something only Ryujin can tell you. Please, just talk to her. This once."

At this point, you couldn't trust anyone, neither Yeji, Ryujin, nor yourself. It was like you were at different crossroads- to run away, or to confront her again. She hadn't even done anything wrong, all she did was kiss a guy. She didn't owe you anything.

You choose to run away, until you notice Ryujin approaching you with her boyfriend. It's like she withheld any decision you make, with her forcing you into a circumstance you would not choose for yourself.

"Y/n?" she asks softly. Her otherwise comforting voice now made you uncomfortable, almost bringing you to tears by how much you missed it.

"It's been so long," she holds your hand gently.

Her hands felt colder than before, and before you could say anything, the tall, matching vampire spoke up.

"Hi y/n, I'm Jason, her boyfriend. I've heard a lot about you." he looks friendly, and he doesn't seem to hold any malice. But you still hated this guy.

"You have?" you ask saltily. "...good things I hope." you couldn't help but say drily, hands fiddling with the witch hat you'd worn.

"A moment please love," Ryujin signs to her boyfriend, who goes towards the bar with Yeji.

Ryujin takes your hand and drags you towards what you assume to be the bedroom, away from the crowd.

You enter the bedroom with her, with your head ringing because of the way she called him love. You remember how she'd called you love the day you'd tried baking, the day you'd fallen asleep in her arms. You thought the word "love" meant nothing, that it was an endearing term with no implications. But if that was the case- why did she address him as love?

Jealousy eventually overrode the confusion, and the hurt that stained you previously had multiplied. You couldn't feel more stressed, it was so much more than any calculus assignment you'd ever come across.

"Are you crying?" she eventually speaks, eyes concerned. You didn't even realise the visible tears falling down your cheek slowly, your mascara ruined in the reflection of the mirror behind her.

"What do you wanna talk about Ryujin?" you huff. "Y/n, do you need time to calm down? I don't think you're in the mood to talk."

"I'm fine. Just get to the point please." you say, barely concentrating on what was going on. She comes in to hug you, but you step back.

She looks upset by this, seemingly as confused as you. "I...I thought we were friends y/n," she whispers in the same tone she'd always used to comfort you. "We weren't this far apart were we? Why do you hate me?" she raises her voice in desperation.

This was an accusation you could not believe she had made, hate was too strong for what you felt for her.

"I don't hate you Ryujin." you speak, resigned. "Then why do you look so upset, why can't you even say hi?" she emphasises, her voice breaking in between.

"Because it hurts... I can't"

You fall against the bed post. Eyes finding the bear plushie you bought her. You slowly realise that this is her bedroom, and that you were in her new house- the apartment you'd never come to before. You were barely able to process all of this when she speaks up again.

"You can't what y/n? You can't accept the fact that you like me?" You look back at her, eyes widened, as though whatever little sanity you had remaining was destroyed like the branches of an autumn tree- fallen, and weak. It was almost humiliating.

"I don't like you Ryujin," you hide behind your words like a coward. "Don't lie to yourself y/n, is it that difficult to accept that you like me?"

You don't know where this was coming from. If she knew you liked her, couldn't she just let you down gently?

"What does it matter? You have a boyfriend. Even if I did like you; no even if I loved you, nothing would change." you say dejectedly. It must have been true, because there was silence that persisted for longer than you wished it would be.

"What if it did change? What if I said I liked you too? Would you believe me?" she asks quietly, reverting back to her calm persona as she takes a big breath. You scoff, noticing how different she had become in a month. The audacity she had to ask you if you believed her, right after making out with her boyfriend in front of everyone in the room disgusted you, something you don't think you'd ever be able to comprehend.

"Why would I believe you? I saw your boyfriend. Besides, if you did like me, you'd be honest with me. I think that's the least I'd expect from you, so don't play with my feelings; because unlike yours, I can say with conviction that mine are real."

You see her expression change, her eyes becoming teary.

She sits beside you, against the wooden footboard. "I can't be honest, because I'm scared. There's so many people watching me- so many people who my family knows. I barely had, or still have any privacy in my life. Do you know why my grandparents left me this apartment? Because they don't trust me." she pauses for a minute. Taking another deep breath, eyes now fixed on to the floor.

You don't know where she's going with this, but don't say anything because this may be the last time you'd get any closure.

"There was a girl I really liked in high school, but we could never be together, because my family refused to let me meet her. They pretend to be liberal in their thoughts- but they're as homophobic as they get. There's no way they'd understand. The only time I felt safe was in our dorm, because there was no one who would snitch on me, nobody who cared. It was utopia- where you were my solace, and I just basked in the temporary peace.

But when my grandparents asked about you, they'd worry I'd gotten too close to you, refusing to believe you could be just a friend. Two months after I shifted in to our dorm, they made preparations to isolate me in this house of theirs."

She couldn't continue, as tears you'd never seen from her before, collected as a tiny stream between the cracks of the tiles on the cold floor. You understood what she meant. In an evening's moment, you realised that she wasn't this perfect being that she always projected. Yes, she was amazing, but she had her own challenges, something you thought she'd never had. Unlike the two different worlds you thought you were in, your access into her world made you realise you were more similar than you could've imagine. All of a sudden you hated your past self for being so mean to her, for harbouring insecurities that in hindsight were not worth the pain.

"Jason, is my neighbourhood friend, and he's the one of the few people I can trust. He's pretending to be my boyfriend, so that if my family ever found out, they wouldn't doubt me." she explains, trying to resolve your distrust.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper, leaning your head against her shoulder, gently holding onto her hand."

The two of you sit their in silence, reflective, though relieved.

She gently kisses your forehead, arms wrapping around your waist.

"I missed you y/n. So much. But I'm also scared to go back to you, to our place. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm sorry too, for the situation I put you in. For the situation I've put both of us in."

You rub her arms gently,

"It's ok, we'll figure it out slowly. I'm sorry too . You were always there for me- and I, like the coward I am was scared of being attached to you, your generous love . I was also so insecure of how perfect you were- but now it's all so inconsequential."

To this Ryujin laughs, and she wipes her tears. "It's funny how both of our insecurities hurt us in the end. I promise, I wont' let it affect us in the future. I won't ever hurt you again y/n. I love you, so much."

"I love you too Ryujin."

You know that it's going to be a long road ahead of the two of you, but you'll be alright. You comb through her hair, leaning in to meet her lips. Her quivering lips are not soft as you expected, but slightly chapped, brushing against yours. She drags a cold finger down your spine, causing you to lose your breath. Her pulling you closer, slipping behind your corset, unzipping it. Your hands are tangled in her short locks, and you pull away in between to breathe.

With the kiss, and this new path, the autumn you hated so had come to an end. Autumn had become easier to think about, among the loneliness of the dry leaves and the warmth devoid in the air, you'd treasure the warmth that she provided. Shin Ryujin, unlike autumn wasn't temporary. Autumn will come and go, but Shin Ryujin would always stay, and you'd treasure her in every season. In the end, autumn didn't hate you as much you did, because despite everything, autumn gifted you Shin Ryujin.

Am I actually posting an autumn fic when its almost summer? Yes, yes I am. This is long overdue and idk why it took me this long to finish it ahhhh.

I appreciate any feedback, feel free to interact with this post!

Thanks for reading <3

-Macaroon

[patheticallyinfatuatedwithu]

NOT SO WEIRD , KIM MINJI (HIATUS)

SYPNOSIS — when the usual mature, calm and collected president suddenly starts to act weird, her not-so-sane friends starts investigating her every move... even if it means going through her beloved phone.

GENRE — smau, crack, fluff

PAIRING — kim minji x fem! reader

CONTAINS — swearing, mutual pining, acquaintances to friends to lovers, fluff, smau, crackheads, gay panics, highschool!au, romance, wlw, dumb shit being done

FEATURING — newjeans, enhypen's kim sunoo and nishimura riki, txt's choi beomgyu, stray kid's hwang hyunjin, nmixx's oh haewon, itzy's shin ryujin and mentions of other idols.

NOTES – this will be my first smau work and this was made just for fun. photos that are used to portray yn is not supposed to claim what she looks like, only for the purpose of showing how that certain picture is supposed to look like. i do not own anything here except for the plot and yn. as this was made for fun, i am not assuming their personalities, their sexualities and how they act through phone and in real life. relationships between people here are purely fictional and only for entertainment purposes only. TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

introductions ! ASSOCIATION OF GAYS WOMEN + SUNOO

i. point and laugh

ii. aleix caicedo

iii. emos are multiplying

iv. you're into what now?

v. sleep with one eye open

vi. okay i believe you

vii. do i srsly look straight

viii. a fucking thief

ix. lee hyein's documentation

x. let her cook

xi. ure going dowun

xii. u are all embarrassing

xiii. my one and only love

xiv. so much mess on the tl today

[purecantarella]

Too Little, Too Late

who missed meeee? HAHAHA but yeah, finals have come to a close and i now have a significant amount of free time!! so i will be back for the next week or so before the beginning of the next term kicks up but since i've been going through my own heartbreak as of recent, yall have to feel it with me HAHAHA enjoy lovelies!! update to this, not super heartbroken anymore and i might just wind up with this girl, so pray for me. shin yuna x reader ; chou tzuyu x reader disclaimer/s : nothing much, i had to change this disclaimer cause i ended up writing a fluff piece rather than the angst it shoulda been but there's a hint of angst if you squint.

If you were asked just what you liked about her, you’d stare off and just be in awe of Shin Yuna’s whole being. The way she smiled, the way she made others feel, the way she dressed, the impeccable way her eyes would shine when she spoke.

It was just so perfectly her.

While others called her flighty, a loose cannon ready to leave at the drop of a hat, you looked passed that. You saw her at her best and loved her at her worst. You knew why she was the way she was.

You’re her best friend after all.

“Hey!” She cries while wrapping her arms around your neck, permeating the music blasting in your headphones. Any normal person’s response to that would be immanent shock or to be confused, but you were used to her antics at this point. You smile warmly and lay a hand on her forearm before pausing your music. “Hey yourself, your manager was up all night calling me asking where you were.”

A faint sense of bitterness rumbles in your chest as you face her, “I wondered the same thing if I’m honest.”

She giggles cutely before shrugging, “Here and there, you know how it is, N/n.”

You roll your eyes, a hint of jealousy in the action but it goes completely unnoticed. As it always does. Yuna’s always been the type to go out without a word to her managers or the rest of the girls, choosing that it’s better to seek forgiveness than to ask for permission. Which lead you to often lie to her managers, telling them you were with her all night.

“So, N/n, my sweet girl, my partner in crime,” Her rattling off makes your heart melt ever so slightly but when that cheshire grin pulls up on her lips you know she means trouble. You shake your head with an adamant look on your face, you say, "Nope, I know what that look means."

She sighs dramatically before falling into your lap. You can't help the smile tugging on your lips, because even if she's a world-renowned idol, she was still this silly little kid. And you adored her for it. "It's a company party and Yeji and Ryujin are going together, Lia and Chaer are bringing separate dates, would you really want me to be going alone?" Yuna looks up at you with a pout and the softest eyes imaginable, completely obliterating whatever self-control you have.

You breathe a deep sigh before leaning back on your arm, running your hand comfortably through her long dark locks. Paying special attention to her bangs that began to grow out. The singer smiles under your touch as you mutter, "You are an agent of chaos, Yuna."

"That's not a no." She retorts sing-songy, letting her eyes slide shut for a moment. You laugh gently, and for a moment you allow yourself to take her in. The soft features she has, just how loudly your heart was beating in that moment, and how the afternoon wasn't so unbearable when she was here with you.

It was stupid that you couldn't say no to her, but there was no way she would have it any other way. "Fine, I'll go to your stupid party." A satisfied smile breaks onto her face as she cracks one eye open slightly, "I'm happy."

"I can tell." As you pull your hand away to try and look at your phone, Yuna's hand finds yours. You eye her curiously before she places it back atop her head. "Don't stop doing that, it..." She trails off for a moment, her voice becoming small, "It's comforting."

Your heart stops for a moment, before you smile down at her, both her eyes now open as she smiles the way she does. Her eyes bright and warm as stars, the afternoon just drifting away. All you can think in the moment is how radiant she looks under the light of the sun and just how lucky you were to have her in your lap.

Even if it were just as a friend.

The night of JYPE's ball, you anxiously stood in front of the off-site stylist's mirror. It was odd seeing yourself in a suit or a turtleneck, it wasn't often that you were given the opportunity to wear anything like it, much less how expensive you knew the items were. You sported a dark blue suit jacket over a black turtleneck with matching black slacks and dress shoes.

You stared at Yuna getting her make-up done from behind you, laughing and joking with staff and Chaeryeong who sat beside her. You couldn't keep your eyes off her, and it was becoming more and more difficult to hide. Chaer's date siddles up to you with a gleeful look on their face, "Someone's looking rather smashing."

You smile and pull the high neckline away from you, "Are these supposed to be that itchy?" You ask with a genuine look of discomfort. They laugh and pull at their own collar. "Well, we are walking in with Itchay."

You roll your eyes and push their shoulder gently, "You're awful." They smile at you with a toothy grin, "But now for the big reveal?" You feel a pang of nervousness before you're abruptly turned around and you hear Chaer's partner ask, "Ladies, don't we just look stunning?"

Their conversation is broken the moment you both turn around. Chear, unable to hide her excitement jumps up from her chair and embraces her partner, spewing compliment after compliment between kisses. You smile as you stare at them, wishing Yuna would give you the same attention.

But what you got was somehow better.

You look over at her and see a dumbstruck look on her face as stares you up and down with a shy smile on her face. She excuses herself from her make-up artist and saunters up to you. Before you know it she's in front of you, fixing the lapels of your jacket wordlessly. Hand snaking around your neck until both hands are interlocked behind your head.

"If I'd known I'd be walking in with the most dapper gentlewoman I've ever laid eyes on, I would've dressed up a bit more." You chuckle and wrap your arms around her waist. You raise a testing brow, "Dapper? Never thought I'd ever hear that from you..." You pause as she stomps her foot while whining, but before she can fully pull away, you pull her closer, "And you don't need to dress up when you're next to me. This is me keeping up with you, bareface, full face of make-up, or whatever."

There's a silence in the room as Yuna stares up at you with soft-eyes and while you break-down internally, thinking you said the wrong thing. Then her face breaks into that bunny smile you adore so much, adorned with a light coat of blush that you can't make out if it was there before she got up or not. Her hands unclasp and pinch your cheek hard, "You're an idiot, N/n."

You laugh nervously before she turns around and sits in her make-up chair again, talking to the make-up artist and stylist. You stand there dumbfounded and feel a sense of loss when she lets you go. Chaer looks over at you once she'd finished gushing, and whispers, "You did great, just give her a minute to figure everything out."

You smile at her, disappointment resonating in your chest, "Yeah, but I don't know if I have a minute to spare anymore."

A couple hours and about a million photos for their Instagram, you found yourself in the middle of a party with aspiring stars and some of the most recognizable face in Korean pop music standing with you waiting for their drinks. You were there primarily to get a breath away from Yuna, someone who was supposed to be your best friend.

Who you promised to sit next to and whisper random gossip you'd heard or seen across the room. But after the debacle in the dressing room and how much it muddled your sense of self and how much you felt for her, you needed a break.

The bartender walks back and forth trying to get everyone's orders right, "Excuse-Can I-? Fuck it this is pointless." You grumble to yourself as you take the napkin in your hands, tearing it to little shreds.

"Yeah, they can be brutal on guests they don't know by face or name." A voice called from behind you. You turned and saw the face of the youngest member of TWICE, Chou Tzuyu herself. You blush seeing her this close, you'd always confided in Yuna that you found her the most attractive of the members of TWICE after a long drunken night on the phone. To which Yuna cussed you out and laughed.

You never thought you'd get to see her in person.

You gulped as she walked up to the bar, catching the barkeep's attention. He attended to her immediately, "A mojito and..." She trails off looking at you, you nod to the man, "Whisky on ice, please." He whips them up almost instantly, and it wasn't long before they were both in your hands.

You smile tipping your drink towards her. "Thanks, I really needed a drink to handle tonight." Tzuyu nods solemnly, before taking a sip of her own drink, cringing a bit at the taste. You laugh as you take your own sip. "Stronger than you thought?"

"No- I mean, yes?" You laugh again, staring at the singer with a quirked brow, "I saw that you needed help with the bartender and I wanted to sound cool, the other members usually order a drink for me." She says with a light flush over her tanned cheeks, you feel a flutter in your chest as she does.

You smile before nodding off to the balcony, "I think some fresh air would do me some good," You pause as you watch her face falter a little. "Care to join me?"

You were absolutely right.

The night air did you so well, and being around Tzuyu definitely helped. She was easy to talk to and even when you'd both finished your drinks, you didn't want to leave. She told you an assortment of stories about what happens behind the scenes. How Dahyun and Momo are almost always late cause they're too busy with each other, Nayeon and Jeongyeon's arguments in the morning, and how she and Sana got together. It twinged you a little to know your bias was taken but she just seemed so happy.

"Short to say, Nayeon-unnie was not very happy about the compilations of Jeongyeon-unnie with Jihyo-unnie." The young woman finished as you cracked up.

"I didn't realize just how jealous she was." Tzuyu shakes her head with a goofy smile. "There's a lot you all don't see, which sometimes I think is a good thing." She says again quietly, you look at her.

With a small gust of wind of wind takes you both by surprise. Tzuyu shudders under the cold blow and wraps her arms around herself. Mindlessly, you take your suit jacket off and drape it over her. She looks at you, her cheeks an embarrassing shade of red which makes you smile.

"Sana's lucky to have you." Tzuyu smiles up at you before the glass doors of the balcony open up. Revealing an disheveled and irritated looking Yuna. She grins at Tzuyu with a sickeningly sweet smile. Your eyes go wide before you look down at your phone screen. You'd told her you were going to get a drink almost an hour ago.

Tzuyu stifles a giggle before nodding of to you, "I have to go, N/n. I'll just get your number from Yuna then?"

You were fully aware of what she was doing, you nod off before she pushes away from the railing with her empty glass in hand. Before she can walk in though, Yuna clears her throat, "Unnie, Y/n's jacket please."

The older woman chuckles and slips off the jacket, gingerly placing it in Yuna's open palm. Your best friend's gaze never wavering, baring imaginary holes into yours. Yuna rattles off before Tzuyu can even get into the building, "I've been looking for you for the past half hour, Y/n."

The older woman pulls a sour face and shoots you finger guns, mouthing, 'good luck' before finally closing the door behind her. "I've just been here, Yuna. Socializing. Isn't that what you wanted?" You ask pointedly, spinning the empty glass in your hand.

"What I wanted was for us to be here together." She pauses taking a step closer. "What I wanted was for my best friend to be with me, smiling and chatting with me. Not sneaking off to a secluded spot to make out with her bias."

You laugh, completely blown away by Yuna's outlandish statements. "Did it look like I was anywhere near doing that?!" You call out, hands up in the air. "What if I had been just a second late, you two were standing awfully close for two people who were, just as you say, 'socializing'."

You roll your eyes and begin to walk off when Yuna puts her hand in front of you. "You don't get to walk away, Y/n."

You rub your eyes tiredly as Yuna flares her nose and stares up at you with the eyes you'd normally swoon over. "You think I didn't want to do that? Walk in with you be all cheery and make fun of the execs who are wearing suits too trendy for their own good?" Your voice softer now, not wanting to escalate the argument further.

"I wanted to be there with you, hell..." You pause, your confession on the tip of your tongue but you bite it back. Knowing that once it's out you'll never see Shin Yuna again. "You know what, forget it."

Her hand is on your wrist pulling you back, she's still fuming. "What? What were you about to say, Y/n?" Her saying your name was nails on a chalkboard to you, she never calls you by your full name, even when you had arguments.

In your mind, you really fucked it up this time.

"I can't say it."

"Well, if you aren't I am. I wanted you there with me not as my friend, not as a guest, but as mine. Because I like you so fucking much! It's insane to me just how much I like you." Your breath catches in your throat as her confession spills messily.

She pants madly as she pulls her hand away from yours stepping away from you. Normally, you'd catch her hand in yours and tell her everything's going to be okay but you're stunned in place. Yuna covers her face, no doubt red as a tomato at this point as she tries to recompose herself.

"I've done everything I can to avoid this feeling, going out to parties, taking more hours rehearsing, talked to different people. But then I saw you in the park yesterday, being your geeky self, reading the book I suggested to you and something snapped." She releases another breath, "Then I saw you out here with Chou Tzuyu, someone you said you'd leave me in the dust for..."

"That was a joke, Yuna..." You finally say before walking up to her. Before you could touch her though, she shys away from you. Leaning on the stone railing of whatever building JYP could book for his lavish event. "I know it's too little, too late. I...I'm happy for you if you want to go chase after Tzuyu."

Finally, the storm clears and Yuna looks up at you with the same puppy-dog eyes she gave you when first saw you tonight. Your stomach leaped over and over as you looked into her eyes. "Yuna...Tzuyu..." You pause, watching her cringe at the sound of her name rolling off your tongue. You smile, "Tzuyu's dating Minatozaki Sana."

She whips her head over to you with a look of shock on her face. A smile blooms on her face, "I fucking knew it! I saw them behind the scenes of one of their music videos once and I-"

Before she could finish her thought, your lips were on hers, cutting her off. Her words muffled and eyes wide as your hands cup her warm, defined cheeks. In an instant, she melts and leans into you. Arms draping over your shoulders, pulling you closer.

You pull away, just a hair apart you smile down at her, "Suffice to say, I'm no where near dating or making out with Chou Tzuyu. You were right, I'm all yours."

Yuna says nothing but pulls you closer, the noises of the party inside completely vanishing as you held her under the moonlight. Like you'd both always wanted. Completely numb to her members all crowding towards the glass doors, abruptly screaming and cheering.

You both pull away from one another, and laugh at the enthusiasm her members and their partners had for you both. You look down at your best friend, planting a lingering kiss over her cheek, making her blush deepen.

A warm and delicate smile over your lips as you say, "Not too little, not too late, Yuna." Another kiss to her nose. "You were right on time."

and there's another one!! this was what i was meant to post as my comeback but i went back to workshop it a bit. i hope you all enjoyed it!! i'll try to keep posting but given my classes begin again next week, i won't promise much. i'll crank out as many as i can this week tho HAHAAH i love you all vv much and i will see you all soon!! bye lovelies 💕 - r

[siennasfix]

Pareidolia

Chapter 1 "Old Blood"

*****

Chapter 2>>>

Trigger warnings: child abuse, human experimentation, human sacrifice, starvation, child neglect, isolation, mentions of suicide, mentions of drowning, mentions of hanging

Clouds were a form of cruelty. Y/n truly believed that. What reason could there be for them to stubbornly mar the midnight sky, concealing the truth of what lay above, other than mere sadistic pleasure? What could possibly be the goal of such obscurity? The questions were of a rhetorical nature, of course. She already knew.

Just as she knew that it wasn’t their fault for existing. Other forces were at play. Forces that clamored in her ears like the sound of a battle cry as millions jumped headfirst into battle. The sound of over 90 thousand demigods and legacies applauding the night’s gladiator as she sauntered out of the underground tunnel and into the arena.

Aggression. Conviction. It was all written in the smirk she sported, in the way she encouraged the crowd to roar louder by raising her sword, in the way her features taunted the weaker crop of those that had divine blood running through their veins. She never failed to make a spectacle of what was, in fact, dutiful bloodshed. As a daughter of Bellona, Shin Ryujin never shied away from the duty of slaughtering monsters to appease the gods. It was an art form that legacies and demigods in particular spent their entire life perfecting. No shirking of obligations was allowed.

Y/n knew this. Ryujin knew this. There wasn’t a single person in the world of myths that didn’t. Everyone knew that once the doors to one of the cages belowground yawned open, the cheers would soon turn to bated breaths, cries of terror, and triumphant cheers as the gladiator fought the monster to the death.

A gladiator’s black uniform wasn’t honored if unbloodied. Soon, the built-in breastplate would be slashed or burned, if not pierced or torn. One or both pauldrons might have clattered to the ground. By the end of it, random integrated elements of her protective gear⸺ vambraces, cuisses, poleyns, and greaves⸺ could be scattered all over the arena.

Eventually, the cheer died down. Ryujin stood at the very center of the fighting ground, feet firmly planted in the dirt. She raised her armor and adjusted her grip on the double-pointed spear. Y/n could almost feel her glancing from one opening to the other, wondering out of which the monster would spring. There was no way to be certain. The Battle Creators were cunning, shrewd, and cruel in their designs.

A minute or two passes in hushed whispers. Many of the spectators were likely wondering whether there would be a fight at all. Some of the more impatient ones were already rising from their seats. Others, like Y/n, sat there as if entranced.

There was at first a low rumbling. It sounded as though it was being filtered through several layers of cement. Suddenly the air grew thick with the stench of sweat, fear, and anticipation. Then came the roar. The ground beneath their feet vibrated as if zapped with lightning. The ones who had planned on leaving stumbled back to their seats and waited. In the arena, Ryujin flinched, and out of the cage, the monster soared.

The Manticore wasted no time in diving down for the girl. But Ryujin wasn't there to be a mere figurine. She propelled herself out of the way once it was too close to change its course and slashed sideways. The beast roared in pain, sinking its claws into the ground. Dust clouded Ryujin’s and the audience’s view of its body. All they could perceive was its mammoth silhouette. Even that was thanks to the burning torches stationed all over the Colosseum.

Fighting a beast at night while the children of Aeolus and its Roman counterpart, Aiolos, did the most to have the clouds smothering moonlight, was no easy feat. Y/n was sure Ryujin was mostly relying on her sense of hearing and touch, feeling the vibrations under the soles of her feet.

Her suspicions were confirmed when the beast flapped its wings, blowing out their only light source. Only Y/n and her younger sister Luna might be able to see and hear the truth of the shadows. Ryujin followed the sound of the manticore’s footsteps as it circled her. Predator and prey. In a fight of this sort, no one was certain which was which. Could you call a beast out of its cage prey? Could you call a demigod a predator?

The Manticore sniffed the air and bared its fangs.

“Ah, the stench of godliness,” It spoke, stalking closer to Ryujin who retreated several steps back. “How you reek of servitude.”

One step forward. One step back for Ryujin. The Manticore ran its lengthy tongue across its pointed teeth.

“Should you slay me,” A low growl, “You shall remain a slave still.”

This time, Ryujin was the first to lunge. She sprinted towards the beast, spear and shield raised. Precisely then, the torches came alive, children of Hecate, Trivia, Hephaestus, and Vulcan having taken it upon themselves to restore the visibility of their surroundings. If you looked carefully, you could pinpoint the exact moment when Ryujin’s plans were foiled.

The Manticore didn’t sidestep. It neither flew as high as the electromagnetic and magic-infused barriers can allow nor leaped over her. And everyone knew it was futile to try and goad it into a defensive mode. This was no horse you could whip into submission, no emaciated child you could starve into servitude. This was an intelligent creature mistakenly taken for a mindless beast. It made Ryujin’s victory seem like a pipe dream.

Staring her down, the monster stood its ground, remaining unmoving as Ryujin thrust her spear forward. The manticore swatted her like a fly, sending her body flying. Many in the crowd gasped. Others yelled encouragements at her, demanding that she pull the heart out of its chest. The rest spoke amongst themselves, making bets and pondering the odds.

Ryujin leaped to her feet, paying no heed to the possible injuries. She had to have at least fractured her elbow. But the demigods healed quickly and this was, by far, not among the most fatal injuries. It was not uncommon for them to shatter ribs, have their guts spilling out, or run even as the bottoms of their feet melted in the scorching hot sand. These were to be expected. As was death.

Her shield had slipped from her grip during the attack. Only her javelin remained. That meant the remaining defense was to attack the beast and hope it didn’t sink its claws in her chest during the struggle. The monster and the girl walked in a circle, maintaining eye contact all the while. As seconds passed, the circle got smaller. Once they were within 10 feet of each other, both raised their weapons. Ryujin’s spear spun in her hand as the manticore raised its unsightly paw. The claws glinted in the flickering light of the torches.

Passing the spear from one hand to the other Ryujin slashed and slashed, all while trying to evade the manticore’s attacks. Just because she was the one doing the attacking, it didn’t mean she was the one in control. In fact, the monster seemed to almost be grinning at her puny effort. It didn’t see her as a threat at all. Ryujin appeared to catch on pretty quickly. Instead of letting the beast manipulate her into thinking she had him cornered, she allowed herself to step sideways.

She didn’t lessen the severity of her attacks, thrusting with all her might and as much rapid succession as she could. This way the manticore would believe she was still being deceived. She ducked as the manticore’s claws swished through the air like behemoth-sized blades. It snapped its jaws right as she saw the light from the torches glowing all brighter as she walked backward toward the wall. It seemed to think it had Ryujin trapped. And, despite her best efforts to outsmart the monster, she was.

It didn’t matter if she slashed at its neck. It didn’t matter that she tried to plunge the point of her spear into its chest. The manticore only needed to loom over her like a shadow of a being. “Foolish child believes herself a victor.” It growled sinisterly.

Scowling, Ryujin sends a gobble of spit flying at the monster’s maw. “Fuck off to Tartarus! I am a victor! I am the-

“Offspring of something that loves you even less than I do.”

No one wants to believe it. No one wants to believe that they can ever cower in terror. But what else can a girl of 19 do when the monster she thought she’d be toying with is toying with her instead? Y/n wonders if this is what food feels like when the other demigods and legacies play with it. She wonders if Ryujin foresees herself becoming the monster’s dinner. The look of horror on her face tells her she might be.

The manticore raises its right muscular foreleg and swipes at her only to find its paw pierced through by a double-edged sword. A normal person would be confounded by the turn of events. But even if this whole thing was normal, this sentient being was no human. It growled in pain but its pain did not register. Saliva trickled from its monstrous maw. Its eyes burned furiously. The shadows told Y/n all about it.

As a child of Bellona, Shin Ryujin possessed the ability of telumkinesis; control over a myriad of weapons. Children of Ares and Athena, as well as those of their Roman counterparts, could also wield such power. It was a blessing truly. Now more than ever.

Ryujin twisted the blade. When the manticore struck again, she dragged the blade across its paw before sliding down between its legs. She made to slash at them. The manticore beat its bat wings before she could do any damage and sent several of the spikes on its tail spearing in her direction. Having no shield to protect herself with, she ran as the spikes stabbed into the ground one after the other. Before the audience could marvel at her agility, the weapon in her grip transformed into a chakram. It arched up into the air toward the monster. The manticore swooped down instead and Ryujin took off to the left, taking hold of the chakram as it came back down in a curved motion. The Manticore was not far behind. Ryujin stepped out of the way before its jaws snapped shut and she was lying there lifeless.

This time she didn’t see the attack coming. Some of the spikes on its tail carved deep gashes across her collarbone and arm as she tried to put some distance between them. Ryujin cried out in pain and faltered. But one look at the crowd, at their watchful, judgmental gaze, and she knew she wasn’t allowed to lick her wounds in the arena.

She had planned on altering the chakram into a spear to pierce right through the monster’s thick skin. Change of plans.

Once the beast turned to face her once more, its ghastly orifice agape, she separated the chakram and molded it into two daggers, each the size of her forearms. Swiftly, she plunged the blades into its feline eyes. The monster roared in agony for everyone to hear. It tried to shake her off but she refused to relent. The spectators rose to their feet, pumping their fists into the air as Ryujin pulled herself up by the two blades, landing right on the manticore’s back. She ruthlessly dragged the daggers through its skull. The monster’s anguish heightened as she split it open. Then she started to scoop up the contents of its head, blackened blood and unearthly matter that only slightly resembled the human brain. The liquified substance dripped down her hands as she hurled fistful after fistful of it to the mud below with a dull thud. The manticore gave a last desperate bellow and knelt. Its surrender became obvious to everyone as it fell limp on its side.

Ryujin yanked out the blades and dismounted. But her duty was far from finished. The spectators had demanded she pull the heart out of its chest. And that’s just what she did. Shin Ryujin was a gladiator and a victor. She never looked the part more than she did then; a monster’s heart in her grasp, bleeding gashes on her body, matted hair on her cheeks. Her weapon was a spear once again and it stood proudly in her grasp, one tip nailed to the ground.

The crowd roared and she stood there, crying out in triumph.

It was amazing, Y/n mused, how fast the world could pretend to have moved on from the mystery murder of the closest thing to a god. As she mulled the last part over and over again, Y/n couldn’t decide if it was the manticore she was thinking of or Juliana Pierce, daughter of Victoria.

******************************************************************************************

Never a dull moment at Olympia University. There was always some clownery to behold at the front steps; a noisy quarrel, laughable theatrics, failed confessions, foolish but clever pranks, et cetera. If you tried, you could probably assign a demigod to each of the aforementioned events. For instance, the boy who handed another boy a bag of chips as a gesture of kindness was a son of Hermes, if the repulsed screaming that followed was anything to go by. He howled with laughter as the victim chased him down the steps and around the fountain built into the expansive yard. Next to the front door, a monstrosity of Celestial Bronze, a buff boy trapped another in a chokehold. Son of Ares and Bacchus respectively. Next to them stood Ryujin, cheering on the ‘assailant’.

You might say it was all a merry affair. And it goes without saying that none of it involves Y/n. She could observe but never make herself welcome. She could study but never make it apparent that she was doing it. She was allowed to be the reason they ate plenty as long as she never made her existence known or felt. It was a rather isolated reality. She owed it all to her godly parent, whoever they were. Her fingers curled around the spine of her book as she crossed the schoolyard. Eye contact proved easier once you erased it from your dictionary. She couldn’t remember the last time she held someone’s gaze for longer than two seconds. Luna was the only exception but, being Y/n’s younger sister by 11 years, she didn’t really count.

The moment she thought of Luna, that’s where her thoughts remained. This morning the nine-year-old wasn’t that chipper about going to class. Actually, she’d begged Y/n to stay in bed, saying it was too cold outside, that her skin prickled and the light streaming in from the open windows was too bright. It hurt her eyes. Not knowing what to do, Y/n had given her one of her thick padded jackets which had been rotting in their shared closet for the past three years.

“See?” She’d told Luna as she zipped it up to the neck. “It’s dark green. Like the forest.”

Luna hadn’t looked too happy about it, pouting as she complained, “Everyone is going to make fun of me.”

Y/n had frowned.

“Why?” She’d asked, sitting at the foot of Luna’s bed.

“Because it’s spring!” The little girl had stomped her foot, hands bunched into fists. “Nobody wears this in spring! Only weird kids do!”

They had both been running late at that point and Y/n had wanted nothing more than to yell at her sister. Tell her to shut up and deal with it, and that they couldn’t afford to skip lessons. It would just make them even more of a target. But there her sister had been, eyes of the darkest brown squeezed shut as she stood her ground. It’s not even that cold, Y/n had sighed internally.

As the older sister, she had tried to reason, “But don’t you want to be warm?”

“I want to stay home.”

“Luna,” Y/n had groaned in exasperation, flopping backward on the covers. “Please, I haven’t slept at all and we’re both late.”

With that, Y/n had dragged her ass and Luna’s out of the cramped apartment and dropped her off her at the primary school on Camp Jupiter. It was a 1-hour walk from their living quarters to the front gate of the Academy for younger kids, a building the monstrous size of which was only rivaled by that of the Colosseum and the University. Only a 20-minute walk from there and up north to the University. But it felt like she’d been sprinting for miles.

The Government spared no expenses where the education sector was concerned, providing only the most updated data on any and every field of study as well as equipment for the harnessing of the demigods and legacies’ physical skills. A system had been put into place that allowed for experimentation in terms of how well supernatural abilities could work in tandem with physical skills and prowess, and children were not exempt from it. In fact, it was made clear on their first day on camp that the training would be a grueling one and that their duty was to endure it without a word of complaint. But like everything else, this was provided for them under several conditions. Unlike the other progeny of the divine, Y/n and Luna were forbidden from accessing certain texts and documents. They were never granted permission to leave the camp and had been warned that if that were the case, neither would be spared from the dungeons of torment. Meals were provided for them but they preferred to have them alone. At least, Y/n tried to convince herself that was the case.

The topic of food was one she hadn’t told Luna about even if she eventually would have to. It was a subject as tender as the flesh from which her blood was drawn, darker than the deep violet bruises littering her skin from shoulder to wrist. It had been some time since she’d last seen the natural hue of the inner part of her arms. For years, her blood had been used as an offering to the Pantheon. What better insult to the primordial entities than bleeding its offspring dry?

By law, everyone was supposed to offer exactly three drops of blood at the temple each morning but, every time a child of the Titans or some other entity that preceded the Gods of Olympus in age was born, the Pantheon would hunt them down and drag them to one of the camps. There, they became the Vetus Sanguis, palió aíma in Greek, or ‘blood piggy’ as campers liked to call them. Before Y/n, it had been more than a century since the birth of a child of an Old God. There had never been that many of them around, to begin with. And even when there were morsels of them for others to feed on, those reserves soon ran drier than a scorching desert. Bot metaphorically and literally.

Vetus Sanguis, Old Bloods, always found a way to escape. If captured, they resorted to committing suicide; hanging, drowning, setting themselves on fire, slitting their wrists in the dead of night, ingesting highly active substances that liquified their insides, and so on. Bottom line⸺ they got creative. Over time, the respective caretakers of Camp Half-Blood and Jupiter had learned to identify the symptoms of a defective blood piggy and taken the necessary precautions. Chiron had told her this one night, in that fatherly way of his, after he’d caught her sobbing in her confinement. To his credit, he had always stayed up late to read her bedtime stories, after which he’d rub her head and leave. The lock on the door always turned.

As she passed through the front door of Olympia University, Y/n could only be thankful for the long sleeves of her midnight blue zip-up hoodie seeing as it was the only thing shielding her arms from scrutiny. She could have worn her uniform jacket⸺ it kept her warmer after all. But to quote Luna, only weird kids wore those at Olympia. It wasn’t obligatory for the students to present themselves clad in formal attire so they didn’t, save for ceremonial events. They were no longer in service to the One Legion Alliance or the Senate as they had once been. Now, they were adults who serviced New Rome and the world at large. To keep them contained, the higher-ups allowed them some freedom of choice. It was taken from them one way or another. Nothing ever evened out.

She passed by countless students on her way to the lab, where blood would be drawn from her vessels. Y/n tried her hardest not to look back, it would make the current so much stronger. It would only embitter her. It always did because she always looked back. She was never strong enough not to glance at the stream of students. She wasn’t strong now either.

At the lab, a nurse she hadn’t seen before made the preparations necessary and sat by her side as the blood left her body through the transparent tube. This nurse was much gentler than the other one, who always pierced the flesh a little too hard, gripping her wrist a little too tight. It was the first time in a while that her arm hadn’t throbbed during the process. That morning, at 7:40, Y/n could move her arm without wincing. Lightheadedness was still there and she had to stop outside the lab for a few minutes. As she sat on one of the benches, the blood collector entered the lab with a box of celestial bronze in his hands and came out just the same. This time, the box wasn’t empty.

Y/n took deep breaths as she walked to her first lecture. At 8:03, it was already too late to have breakfast. The dining hall was sure to be bustling with students, some still drowsy while others screeched. No table would be empty enough for her to eat her meal without the weight of their condemnatory gaze on her.

She was late for everything today; waking up, taking her sister to school, and for the offering. If she kept this up, the principal would likely duck points from her record, which was neither entirely clean nor too grim to behold. But she couldn’t afford further fuckups. Once Y/n got her degree, she would have to get a decent-paying job⸺ hopefully in the field of astronomy, but that dream was far-fetched⸺ in New Rome after University so she could be taken seriously and afford a living that neither she nor Luna found shameful. Especially Luna.

Luckily for her, the lecture had yet to commence. The hall being on the second floor of the northern wing of the palace-like edifice, made it so the walk from the dining hall to where she was currently sitting took about 15 minutes longer than the one from the lab. It made sense as it was on the other side of the campus. Having been bored one morning, Y/n had spent her spare time doing the math. Then, bored once again, she’d found herself studying the cream coloring of the walls, the bronze lining on the columns, the gilded embroidery of the burgundy velvet curtains, as well as the fresco on the ceiling.

Right now, the only students present in the lecture hall were the children of Athena and Minerva. Three of them, two girls and a boy, were clustered in two of the desks on the front row, whispering amongst themselves about the gods knew what. Probably their latest architectural designs or documentary. The fourth sat separate from them and right next to her. It had been his self-assigned seat from the beginning of this academic year.

Kim Seungmin, a son of Athena, presently seated on their shared mahogany bench, was her desk mate and only spoke with her if absolutely necessary. Meaning, his evaluation would have to be on the line. One time, he’d turned to her and asked if she had a pen to spare, and when she’d handed her only pen to him, he’d thanked her and immediately returned to his notes. That had marked the end of their first conversation. After that, they only spoke if paired on an assignment⸺ even then, in fragments. He didn’t seem like the type to enjoy meaningless conversation in general. At times, he quite reminded her of an owl; diligent, studious, and cuttingly critical.

The imagery was painted to completion by his manner of dress. His wardrobe, though of significantly higher quality than Y/n’s, appeared to consist mainly of loose linen dress shirts, wool sweaters, plain slacks, and vests of the same material as the sweaters, most of which were in neutral to earthly colors.

Y/n tried to relax in her seat and lifted her eyes. The lecture hall’s vaulted ceiling echoed sounds to perfection. If one were to start singing, it would sound like if you belted out notes in an empty church like people in the movies did. So, when the students trickled in, their voices were the first indication that the room was coming alive. They poured in, and with that came the sense of being watched, as if from a distance.

Not five minutes later, Liliana Orlova, daughter of Venus and Professor of Hematology took her place at the podium. Like that, the lecture hall went silent and she started taking absences. The speed at which she spoke Y/n’s name was astounding, truly. The woman moved on to the next student before Y/n could even open her mouth to let her know she was present.

Once the roll call was done and every student had opened their textbooks, Professor Orlova got on with the lecture. Last time they had stopped at “Molecular Hematopathology”, a 53-page chapter that had, curiously enough, not bored her into jumping off the balcony at 3 AM. The theoretical analysis was to be wrapped up by the end of today’s lecture and on Friday they had to put the knowledge into practice. Some liked it. Some didn’t. Everyone, however, found the schedule unfortunate. They had this evening and the 3 days in between to get through the class material; not slow enough a pace for most to learn comfortably. Even having gobbled up the information on the pages, Y/n had to agree with the shared plight of the collective.

The room had become too cold for her liking. She felt goosebumps rise on her skin despite the thick, black shirt underneath. Y/n pulled the zipper of her hoodie up to her neck. In a few minutes, the cold had gradually spread to her extremities, freezing her hands and feet to the extent that she had trouble moving her toes inside her scruffy, white sneakers or jotting down notes from the lecture. Not that she could write anything down anyway. Without her noticing, Professor Orlova’s voice had become background noise as Y/n rubbed her palms against her baggy jeans. She could feel the soft flesh burn, but none of the warmth. Soon her vision blurred to the point where the words swam across the page and the entire lecture hall appeared to tilt.

“You’re looking pale.”

Her desk partner’s voice, though startling, was always welcome as it was a rare thing to behold. But at that moment Y/n wished he hadn’t looked her way. She wished he hadn’t witnessed her present state.

She looked down at her book, trying to act as if she was reading.

“And you’re shaking.” He added.

“Yeah, sorry.” She didn’t mean to sound so snappy, especially feeling that drained. But the familiar feeling of folding in on herself always rose from within whenever she felt threatened, humiliated, or flat-out sad. And right now, she was ashamed to be seen in such a state. Trying to fix it, she looks at him and says, “I mean, yeah, I am.”

Kim Seungmin seems to be peering at her through his thin, round-framed spectacles, his gaze dull. “You didn’t have breakfast, did you?”

On her thighs, her hands come to a halt.

“How did you know that?” She asked in a low voice.

“I didn’t either.” He answered, glancing ahead for a second before adding. “And you were here earlier than me. You should take your pill at the very least. They give you 31 each month, don’t they?”

“How do you know so much?” But what she really wanted to ask is ‘why’. “This information isn’t for public record.”

“Really?”

“That’s what they told me.”

“Just because you have no friends doesn’t mean your life isn’t public.” He looked at her as if all of this was common sense. “Everyone knows. So, take the pill and focus.”

“It’s not that-

“L/n.”

Y/n all but jolted. When she looked forward, she was met with the disapproving stare of Professor Orlova. It was as if the woman could penetrate the deepest layers of her skin, capable of finding fault with every fiber of her being. It was not the first time. Every lecture with her was followed by an aftermath of crippling self-assessment.

“Yes, Professor?”

Her delicate features morphed into a scowl but only for a short moment. Then, a sickly-sweet smile took over as she leaned forward with her palms planted on the lectern made out of cherry wood. “It must have been of great interest to you,” She said, “To be interrupting the lecture.”

Y/n swallowed a thick lump in her throat. There was no other way to react with how hypervigilant all eyes that were on her made her. At least Seungmin kept staring down at his open book, pretending to flip through the pages slowly.

“Apologies, Professor,” Y/n tried to keep her voice from sounding like a crow’s, “It wasn’t.”

The woman’s lips twitched.

“Still, I believe we would all like to hear it.” She goaded and turned to the other students as if to urge them to join in. “Wouldn’t we?”

There were a few nods, some firm affirmations, but for the most part, the hall was enveloped in silence. How the hell was Y/n supposed to break it with a convincing enough answer that would get Professor Orlova to let this slide? Why did everyone have to know? It didn’t concern them in the least. She was sure none of them, save for the ones seated closest to them, had managed to catch onto anything.

Y/n looked everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Her glances were furtive at best. But in the short time she swept her eyes across the hall a few faces registered. She caught sight of two guys whispering amongst themselves as they stared at her. She knew them both to be sons of Apollo. The one doing the talking was the one seated closest to the column. From what she could see, he was dressed in a sleeveless black t-shirt. His caramel brown hair had a slight perm to it and a silver earring glinted from his right ear. The more he talked the more his features resembled those of a hamster. By contrast, his desk partner, a boy with bleached blonde hair and plump lips in the shape of a heart, clad in a plain white shirt and washed-out jeans, just listened. If Y/n had looked a little longer, she might have noticed the pity in his gaze.

Near the center of the lecture hall, another boy her age stared. His gaze wasn’t nearly as empathetic though. All she allowed herself to discern before she slid her gaze elsewhere was the sleek black hair flowing down to his shoulders and the full, defined lips.

Next to her, Seungmin stirred. Y/n gaped at him in shock.

“Professor,” He started, “We-

“Not you, Mr. Kim. Her.” She bit out, emphasizing the last part as she pointed in Y/n’s direction. “I wish to hear it from her.”

If she’d felt cold before, it was nothing compared to the glacier plunging into the pit of her belly. Being put on the spot was never something to look forward to, especially for her or Luna. Nothing good ever came of being in the spotlight. Y/n swore she was going to freeze before she managed to get a word out, no matter how long or how hard Seungmin kicked her shin under the desk.

Meeting Professor Orlova’s jeering gaze, she braced herself.

“I wasn’t- there’s nothing to tell.” Her voice sounded at once dead and panicked. The twitch of Professor Orlova’s eye told Y/n that she wasn’t convinced. That she wished to hear more come out of her mouth. “Truly, Professor, it was nothing. Again, I really am sorry for the disruption and I promise not to do it aga-

“You’re looking quite pale, Ms. L/n.”

The sentence was like a punch to the fucking gut. It served as a reminder of where she stood in comparison to her peers. The absence of worth and one sole use. The only part of her that remained visible at the end of the day was the one they couldn’t see, the part that kept them fed. In their eyes, she was merely a tube made of flesh.

From the corner of her eye, she could spy Seungmin shooting a glance at her clenched fists. He shook his head.

“My appearance,” Y/n bit out and trembled with exhaustion, from the cold, and the strength it took not to scream, “Is none of your business.”

Some students gasped behind the hands clasped over their mouths. A few snickers here and there. Seungmin shook his head again, exasperated by the whole thing. But most of all, she felt the colossal weight of the opinion of the collective. Never before had she talked back to a professor, choosing to stare at them until they eventually demerited her, issued a warning, or gave her some sort of punitive task to complete. They likely thought her audacious, a pathetic thing who should have learned her place by now.

Professor Orlova's piercing mint-green eyes twitched. A sandy-brown strand of hair escaped her tight, previously immaculate bun.

“Respect!” She slammed both hands on the lectern, causing the students in the lecture hall to turn their attention to her. Then, in a calmer tone, she continued, “I am your professor, your superior, and you will show me respect.”

“We’re both in bad luck then because my parents never taught me any,” Y/n said slowly, “They weren’t around you see.”

It was no secret that demigods rarely interacted with their godly parents. Over the years, a few had even become estranged from their mortal guardians. But it was different with Old Bloods. No matter their achievements, they were never claimed, or if they had been at one point in history, such was no longer the case. Being acknowledged by the Old Gods only put a target on their back. It meant they were accepted in some form so those around would do anything to prevent them from reveling in it. Y/n had always thought that was such bullshit.

Luna was a daughter of Nyx because she’d once curled into a ball at the corner of her room during a thunderstorm. Nobody had been able to detect her. Trying to escape the terror of lighting, how it made ghouls out of branches, she’d become one with the shadows as if seeking comfort in the closest manifestation to her mother. All of this had happened prior to meeting Y/n, who, unlike Luna, had been told her case was different.

This time, Orlova straightened and regarded her with a cold smile.

“Out of this hall, at once.” She pronounced each word clearly, for all to hear. “Go to the Principal’s office.”

Y/n packed her backpack and left without a word, despite the lump in her throat and the dread leisurely settling in her chest. Luna had been right; it was just so fucking cold today.

******************************************************************************************

The walk to Principal Jiang’s office took about 10 minutes. On the way there she saw a few students smoking pot under stairwells as some of their friends dozed off with their backs to the wall, sitting on the benches along the corridor, students with their noses in books, boys and girls with tears in their eyes as they tried not to get caught howling with laughter. She tried her best to delay the inevitable but her feet, spurred on by humiliation and the desire to put as much distance between her and the lecture hall as possible, were marching across the campus to the personnel building. It was adjacent to the kitchens and the cafeteria, and it made meals much more accessible for the academic staff. If the lecturers ever missed a meal, it was deliberate.

The interior was impressive, to say the least, with marble stairs of cream coloring much like the walls if not a tad darker, and coffee brown handrail to match. On the walls, sconces were installed, and there hung paintings depicting battles, triumphs, slaying of monsters, defeats, revels, and grief. What always struck her (it wasn’t her first time walking up these stairs) was the depiction of the Pantheon as glorious guardians of humanity. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. Was it really how the rest perceived them? Were they really so loved, so revered? Would they look kindly upon her and Luna if she did as everyone did if she saw them as protectors as opposed to predators?

Before her tendency to overthink could take over, Y/n found herself on the third floor of the building. She walked up to the door to Principal Jiang’s office and knocked in hopes that he had taken leave. She should have known better, because, of course, Albert Jiang, ever the punctual man, would be past that door. It wasn’t nearly close to being 4 PM. The class was still in session and after that, a training that ended with some students pressing ice packs to their wounds and nurses administering vials of ambrosia.

“Come in,” She heard the man say in a brittle voice. Y/n turned the knob and walked in. Upon seeing it was her, the old man straightened in his seat and clasped his wrinkly hands on the table before him. “It is you again. Sit. What are you to claim culpability for today?”

The thing about Principal Jiang, son of Pluto, was that he didn’t seem to loathe the sight of her more than he found some of the reasons she was sent to his quarters downright preposterous. A waste of time as he often called it. Many of these offenses consisted of accidentally dropping her ratty pencil case (there was only a pencil, an eraser, and a pen inside so it couldn’t have been that disruptive), laughing when she found another student’s joke too funny to suppress her mirth, and failing to answer a question right because she was too anxious to breathe properly.

Today, she’d been sent here because she’d run her mouth. Knowing he would eventually hear Professor Orlova’s version of the story, Y/n decided to share hers in advance. For a man of 73, who had to have more pressing matters to attend to, Principal Jiang, hands still clasped on the table, listened to her story from start to finish without interrupting her a single time. In a way, she was fortunate to be living at a time when he was in charge.

Near the end, Y/n felt like bursting out laughing when he shook his head and the morning sunlight pouring in from the open mullioned window started tap-dancing on the rock-hard surface of his gelled, swept-back silver hair. Restraint, she told herself. Practice restraint. Because truly, out of all her educators, Principal Jiang was the only one who had never insulted her, which was ironic considering that he wielded more influence than those who had. It would matter very little if the man before her were to change out of his velvet cloak, which was the deepest hue of purple she had ever seen, and into a pair of polka-dot overalls. Having the blood of Hades running through his veins, the old man before her was ruled by the planet of riches, power, and transformation⸺ if one spoke the language of the cosmos.

“Your response, though irreverent, was not unwarranted.” Principal Jiang states after a prolonged silence, during which he caressed his silver bear which ended in a sharp point just an inch below his chin. His serious black eyes look up at her. “However, if I were to let your attitude go unpunished, such leniency on my part would arouse suspicion. That cannot come to pass. Both your place and my position as Principal of Olympia would be viewed with more scrutiny than you can possibly fathom, child.”

With the fear returns the cold, and she rubs her palms over her jeans. “Will I receive another demerit?”

“Perhaps not a demerit,” He says in that brittle, old voice of his, “But a task to allow Professor Orlova to revel in the illusion of having forced a punitive measure upon you.”

Well, that was significantly better than earning yourself a demerit. But the fact remained that her record would be littered with punishments and misdemeanors, one after the other.

“And my record?” She swallowed. “Will I be able to get a decent-paying job if I get in any more trouble?”

Principal Jiang’s pensive expression and the silence conveyed that he was at least considering her words and not just waving them off.

“That remains to be seen.” He told her.

Y/n bit her tongue, curbing her pleas for help. His answer would have to suffice for now.

“It seems proper that I let you know,” His voice, though just as brittle as before, is now nuanced with sympathy, “That if everything were up to me, I would not allow for this. What was decreed by the Gods centuries before you were born, holds value to this day. It may not be what we wish for, but the truth of it remains. They govern us because we remember they exist, and they exist because they never let us forget. That is why the Statute of Realms remains; so that neither can live without the other.”

For a minute or two afterward, Y/n stared at the old man before her, dissecting his words in her mind. Sometimes she wondered whether old people talked just to talk. But that couldn’t be the case with the old man before her. On numerous occasions, namely, her being sent to his office or festivities, he would listen while others rambled away. Whenever he spoke it was always with a purpose and held meaning.

Taking the silence and the way he turned his gaze to the stack of papers on his desk as a dismissal, Y/n stood from the chair.

“Have a good day, Principal Jiang.”

As she left the building, Y/n had another thing to ponder such as why the picture of Juliana Pierce was on Principal Jiang’s desk, stapled to one of the documents in front of him, and why there had been no updates since she’d been pronounced dead.

******************************************************************************************

Classes ended much the way that they began; her limbs freezing despite the faultless heating system, trying to take notes but never managing to follow the lectures for longer than five minutes, dizziness, fatigue, and an immobilizing sense of paranoia. This motley of symptoms was not news in any way. Years ago, she must have been no older than ten, Y/n had been diagnosed with anemia. It was to be expected, they had said as they drew blood from her one morning, it is only normal. So, for the longest time, she’d felt as if the gentlest current could sweep her away if she were to dive into the river⸺ she wasn’t the most athletically inclined. And honestly? She would let herself be carried.

Needless to say, Y/n didn’t bother returning to the lecture hall after leaving Principal Jiang’s office. There would have been no point in doing so. What little she knew of Liliana Orlova was enough to keep her from trying, and she had no energy to waste on lost causes. No, she’d sat on one of the benches in the corridor and waited for the next class, Advanced Radio Astronomy, to start.

At lunch, from 12 p.m. to 12:45 p.m., Y/n didn’t bother to occupy her usual spot. Staying in one place was a crime against her body when it came to the cold, but so was moving too much. So, she had to alternate between pacing and sitting, something she couldn’t do in the presence of other people. Not when she’d been kicked out of class three hours or so before that. There would be no end to the rumors. She didn’t want to hear any of it. That’s why she’d grabbed a chocolate bar from the ‘candy store’ and an apple from the fruits section, and left right after. As much as she craved a warm bowl of soup and the soft bread fresh out of the oven, Y/n knew her breathing would turn into wheezing once the jeering began.

There was only one more class after, Celestial Mechanics, which, along with Advanced Radio Astronomy, was mandatory to get a degree in Astrophysics, and around 02:30 PM it was time for her to head to the Training Center.

Now, this building was special in that it was positioned somewhat separate from the main ones on campus and resembled a box with three separate compartments. Calling it spacious would be a severe understatement considering that each ‘compartment’ stood at 20 meters in height with an area of around 10000 square meters. These parameters made the building nothing short of enormous. In every remaining aspect, it was identical to the others with its cream coloring, the vaulted ceiling, the columns near the walls that provided support, and the frescoes above.

Impeccably organized was another way to describe the building. Not all three compartments were of the same layout, but they did have a few elements in common. For example, the mats for wrestling were laid out on the left and the archery unit stood farthest from the entrance, bows, and quivers arranged neatly on shelves just outside the shooting area and range. The first floor of Compartment A (Alpha) focused mainly on hand-to-hand combat (that was meant literally) while the second was furnished with nets and ropes for climbing, acrobatics, and gymnastics. The three floors of Compartment B (Beta) dealt more with blades; swords, knives, daggers, axes, polearms, spears, scythes, and so on. Compartment C (Gamma) consisted of three floors, each with various simulation chambers that one could customize for combat.

Y/n spent much of her time admiring the architecture, weaving the wildest of stories, and observing the other students as they trained with weapons and sculpted their bodies. Sometimes she even took the opportunity to start early on her reading. What else was she to do when she was barred from participating? Well, not exactly. From her first day on Camp Jupiter, after they’d let her scrub the dirt, blood, and gore off of her, it had been made plain to her that her priority was to provide them with her blood. It didn’t matter if she was weak and couldn’t train, leaving her in possession of no skills whatsoever. She was an Old Blood before she was a warrior.

Keeping all of the above in mind, it became obvious then that training was out of the question. Especially on days when she could barely stand or even sit. In all honesty, there was nothing she wanted to do more than sleep. Right there. On the bench. Hugging her knees as she lay on her side.

So, what reason could Professor Hinsen, son of Mars and one of the Overseers, have to be telling her to join the training? It wasn’t like him at all. She knew that for certain not because she was his favorite student but because the last time that she’d asked him to train her he’d basically told her to shut her mouth and fuck right off. Him being a tall, rugged man in his forties, with deep taupe brown hair cropped close to his scalp and a scar running along the length of his bulging neck, had certainly discouraged her from approaching him after that.

Yet, there she was, sitting on the bench with her legs crossed and her Hematology book nestled between them.

“What?” This was her first question to him since that day. “But why?”

One of the veins on his neck became visible as he grunted, “Just get up and do as you’re told.”

Y/n didn’t need to be told twice. Closing her book, she rose from her comfortable seat and dusted off her faded black sweatpants, the closest thing she could afford to the actual training uniform. As she stood there, looking anywhere but the man next to her, she was overcome with the urge to ask.

“Are you going to instruct me?” Y/n hoped her voice sounded steady. Professor Hinsen barked out a laugh as if the mere notion of it was absurd. Y/n frowned, and before she could inquire further as to what she was supposed to do, a figure manifested at the edge of her vision. A man of average height, though still towering over her, with tawny brown skin and hair at least five shades darker that curled just an inch past his ears, slowly made his way toward the benches. It wasn’t that she didn’t know who he was. They had simply never been in each other’s presence before as he didn’t teach any of the courses she took.

“I will.” He stated, and for a moment Y/n had forgotten her previous question entirely. The man held out his hand for her to shake. “Khalil Hajjar, son of Minerva, Professor of Tactical Operations and Military History.”

I know who you are, Y/n wanted to say as she shook his hand. Although, upon meeting his analytical gaze, she suspected he knew. He released her hand.

Not wasting any time, Professor Hajjar asked, “Do you have any skills? Griffith, that’s enough.”

The other man, who had started to laugh at the presumption that she would be skilled at anything, only roared with laughter at his colleague’s reproach. What was he? Five? Was he that overjoyed to know that she was the least capable in the room? Professor Hajjar paid him no mind, and Y/n decided to follow his example.

“Not really.” She answered honestly.

Hajjar stared at her. “If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t be in this camp to begin with.”

“I’m not here because I’m good at something.”

He almost seems startled at her instantaneous answer. I’m here because I’m good for one thing, she wanted to correct him.

Chest rumbling with laughter, the five-year-old man patted Hajjar on the shoulder. “This one is all yours.”

Once Hinsen had disappeared down the corridor leading to Compartment B, Hajjar focused his critical gaze on her. It felt as though she was being probed on all fronts.

“Do you truly believe you’re not skilled at anything?” He asks her.

Ashamed but accepting of this aspect of reality, Y/n replies, “Yeah, I do.”

She didn’t know how long he kept studying her. What she could tell, however, from his impassive expression was that he didn’t take her words at face value. Hajjar neither distrusted nor swore by her account completely, which Y/n would have usually thought a wise thing to do. But at that moment, as they stood facing each other in that large room filled with individuals far more accomplished than her, she would have preferred for him to take her word for it. Better than anyone else, Y/n knew the depth of her incompetence.

“Follow me,” Hajjar tells her, and she does.

While on their way to their unknown destination, she takes the time to take stock of her surroundings. On one of the mats to the right, a girl with flaming red hair had pinned another boy to the ground and had a knee pressed to his back. A second later, the roles were flipped. He made as if to bang the back of his head with her face, a decoy of a move. In reality, he hooked both of his legs around her neck, caging her in. The move required extreme flexibility and core strength, but it was worth it in the end. The girl released the hands that pinned his arms against his back. She clawed at his calves but he yanked her backwards only to release her at the last moment. Before she could rise to her feet, the boy pulled himself up just so he could press his knee at her throat.

On another mat to the left, two girls battled with one another with their arms tied behind their backs. The taller girl sent a kick flying and the other ducked, swiping her leg across the floor. The bigger girl fell down with a thud. Still to the left, on the next mat over, two boys were going at it in full swing. They pulled no punches even as their knuckles bled. Neither was willing to yield. Entranced by the people training on the mats, Y/n almost bumped into Hajjar’s back when he halted.

“Stay here.” He told her without looking. “I’ll be back.”

And stay there she did. While walking, she could at least pretend that she was just passing by, that she wasn’t trying to observe. But standing there, rooted in place, analyzing other students’ matches felt odd. It wasn’t until she truly looked around her that Y/n realized why that was. Never before had she stood in the middle of the room. Always on the bench, barred from training, she’d always been outside looking in. From here, she could smell the sweat, could hear their labored breathing, could sense the exertion it took to be that good. It almost felt as if all that time she’d spent observing from the bench, she had been doing so with one eye closed. It made her want to run.

The students surrounding her, both younger and older than she was, clad in their black and gray skintight training uniforms were far more intimidating from up close. Though she attended classes with them regularly, it was only then that she understood the disparity between them and her. It started from the basics, the uniform, and up to their abilities. She missed her bench.

In an attempt to shake off the tension wound around her muscles; Y/n searched the compartment for Professor Hajjar. She found him speaking with a boy three mats ahead to the right. They seemed to be discussing something, and she could hear none of it from where she stood. It didn’t help that the pair wrestling on the mat closest to her to the left decided to end their match with a triumphant cry. Despite being unable to hear, she could see the way a trio of boys looked at her. Two of them, the tallest of the bunch stood on the mat but weren’t sparring. It didn’t seem like they had any plans of the sort either. No, they regarded their friend and Professor Hajjar with curious eyes and whispered among themselves, glancing at her from time to time. It wasn’t those two that worried her, though they certainly carried an intimidating air. No, it was the third person standing just outside the outer margins of the mat. With his sleek black hair that went just a bit past his shoulder, those defined features, and that flawless posture, he could have been a god. Without a doubt, he was the closest thing to it. The problem was that he was staring right at her.

Y/n looked away at once. She wasn’t a dimwit. Nor was she inclined to forget. That was the same boy she’d caught staring at her during the Hematology lecture. She didn’t remember ever having been in such close proximity to him. It had cold sweat pooling on her forehead. Her hands had become clammy from the nerves. The more violently she tried to wipe it off on her sweatpants, the more anxious she became. Every nerve in her body was screaming at her to bolt for the exit. So distraught was she that she didn’t notice Professor Hajjar walking over with the boy in tow.

“Y/n, this is Lee Minho, son of Hermes.” He introduced them while the boy stood there looking at her with a blank expression. “He’ll be your sparring partner throughout today’s training session.”

The boy, Minho steps closer. “Hey.”

Not knowing what to say to him, Y/n chose to speak with Professor Hajjar instead. What did he mean by ‘sparring partner’? Did he truly intend to have them go against each other? Had he not heard what she said back by the benches?

“I just told you I-

“Have no skills. I know. I heard you.” Hajjar repeated, and though he was not rolling his eyes, Y/n could feel it. Maybe it’s the way he’s standing there, utterly confident that this is the right thing to do and she’s the short-sighted little fool who couldn’t see it. “But I need to see it for myself so I can decide how to proceed from here on out.”

He lifted a finger and Minho stepped onto the mat. Though begrudgingly, Y/n does follow suit, taking off her shoes before she does.

“Oh, and Minho,” She heard Professor Hajjar say behind her, “Try not to break her bones.”

They stood at a distance of around 3 meters, and now that they were both facing each other on the mat, Y/n took note of his appearance; coffee brown hair and eyes to match, pronounced upper lip, and a high nose bridge. He wasn’t tall, per se, but that didn’t mean much in a fight. That much she knew. His muscles, though not stretching his training uniform taut like those of some of the children of Ares and Mars, were well-defined in their own right. His thighs, in particular, looked nothing short of lethal. It wasn’t uncommon for children of Hermes and Mercury to possess the ability of enhanced speed, which only became full-fledged once the muscles had been exerted beyond comprehension.

Minho raised a dark eyebrow. Realizing he’d caught her studying him, Y/n looked away and then back at him.

“Now what?” She asked.

His hands formed into fists, positioned on both sides of his head as his elbows stood just a tad wider apart. Both his legs were slightly bent, the right one more so than the other.

Tucking his chin in, he said, “Now you get into position.”

After a prolonged beat of painfully awkward silence, Minho straightened and looked at Professor Hajjar in confusion then back at her.

“You don’t know how.” He finally stated. Y/n simply stared ahead, ignoring him, and before she could turn to ask Hajjar to reconsider the whole thing, she heard Minho say, “Well, try to keep up.”

There was a whoosh, like the sound of an arrow flying right past you, and then she realized it was just her head swinging to the left like one of the speed bags she’d watched students hit repeatedly. It didn’t end there. As if to humiliate her further, her own body betrayed her as she knelt, hands cupped over her nose. Oh, Y/n thought in a daze, oh, fuck, my nose! Until her knees hit the ground, she hadn’t realized he’d kicked her in the face and blood was now gushing out of her nose. It was so cold. Everywhere she touched but especially her nose, was so fucking cold. So why did it burn like hell?

“Get up,” She heard Professor Hajjar order and turned around to glare at him. How pathetic she must have looked. The man didn’t so much as flinch. “The match is not over yet.”

It was at that moment that Y/n understood. He wouldn’t end the fight until she demonstrated something. What that thing was, she had no clue.

Her lips parted so she could breathe. What came out was a wheezing sound as some of the blood started to coat her teeth. Swiping her teeth along her upper teeth, Y/n removed her hands from her nose and placed them on the mat. It occurred to her that they might find this disrespectful and gross. None of that mattered when she could barely find the strength to climb to her feet and then found her vision worsened as she tried to stand properly. Everything switched in and out of focus.

She glared at Minho. He’d messed her up with one kick and there was nothing in his face to convey remorse. Not that Y/n expected anything of the sort.

Deciding it was better to go along with the charade, Y/n formed two fists and tried to mimic his hand placement from before. A poor imitation but it would have to do. This time, Minho’s lips quirked up just a little.

Realizing she wouldn’t throw the first punch, he lunged forward and she sidestepped. He was going easy on her no doubt. As a son of Hermes, he’d have no trouble blocking her evasive attempts. She didn’t see how she’d be able to outmatch him anyway. Her nose continued to bleed profusely as he all but flew across the mat, never doing more than grazing her skin. It hurt to the point that she’d rather tear it off with her nails.

“Don’t just dodge.” He told her at one point. Y/n was out of breath while he seemed to be breathing normally. “Try to get a hit in.”

Inhaling through her mouth, she cupped her hands on her knees, “I can’t.”

“Then what can you do?”

His irritation took her off guard and she stared up at him somewhat shocked. Most would seize the opportunity to humiliate their opponent, driving home the fact that they were far superior in skill. Most would revel in the sadistic joy of hearing the bones of their adversary crunch under their feet. The pleasure was heightened if the enemy was an Old Blood.

Y/n swiped at her nose with the back of her hand again and winced. It vexed her, his annoyance. She’d revealed the truth of her incompetence before stepping onto the mat. Had he not taken her seriously? Or did find the depth of her ineptitude so utterly irredeemable that even the fact that she was an Old Blood couldn’t deter him from expressing his frustration? Whatever the reason, Y/n wanted him to shut the fuck up.

Perhaps sensing her irritation was a response to his, he smirked right before swiveling on his heel and sending his kick flying up to her face. In the short time that she’d been watching the students hone their skills in the Training Center, she’d been able to memorize some of the most commonly used moves and countermoves. But none of them were of much use if it was your first time trying. If she were to stand there and try to block him, she’d only end up getting her forearm bruised. Even shattered. No one would heal her. Knowing this, she bent down.

Pure, unadulterated pain exploded across her back and she dropped on the mat like a fly. It felt like her vertebrae had severed ties with the spinal cord and become one with her front. For a moment she thought her lungs had squeezed through the thin openings between her ribs and spilled out like minced meat. This wasn’t Y/n’s first time experiencing such immeasurable agony. But she had yet to get used to it.

As if to elevate the torture, Minho pressed his knee between her shoulder blades. Her eyes prickled with tears as her mouth let out a silent cry.

“What have you been doing all this time?” He asked.

Her voice sounded weak as she answered, “None of your business.”

“You observe.” His mouth was near her ear now. “I’ve seen you do it. So why don’t you put that knowledge into practice?”

Struggling to breathe or even afraid to do so in case she ruptures something, Y/n settles for scratching at the mud with her blood-caked nails. He just wouldn’t let her go, digging his knee into her spine as she squirmed like a worm on the sullied carpet. Gods, how they must have been enjoying the sight of him besting her like it was nothing. How weak she must appear to them.

“Get off of me.” Y/n hated how wheezy her voice rang to the ear.

Her words seemed to have no effect on him. Neither did he release her, nor did he torment her by pressing his knee further into her injured back.

“That will be it for today, Minho.” Professor Hajjar said.

At the older man’s dismissal, the boy rose to his feet and stepped off the sparring mat. Y/n was slow to do the same, the pain had buried itself deep and her flesh was sure to bear the coloring to prove it. The blood had thinned to a trickle but the throbbing remained. She could just imagine the flecks of blood painting a grotesque image of herself in the middle of Compartment A.

She hunched over for a while, with only her palms and knees to steady her, and then heard a snickering sound not that far from where she was. Upon lifting her gaze, she met those of Minho’s friends, the ones who had been whispering amongst each other and glancing at her earlier. Only now they were unabashedly doing so. There was no reserve in the way they watched her. All they did was snicker and jeer as she coughed blood that had struggled to come up to the surface from when Minho had slammed his leg flat against her back. As blood-tinted saliva slid out of her parted lips, Y/n caught sight of the other boy. He was sizing her up the way a butcher did cattle as they sharpened their blades in preparation for slaughter. He sharpened his dark gaze across her features, cutting into them with a slight smile of self-satisfaction.

Y/n looked away and reached for her shoes. She was conscious of the eyes on her as she put them on.

“Are you angry?” Professor Hajjar asked when she’d climbed to her feet.

She began to scratch off the dried blood on her face. He offered her a wet wipe which she accepted.

“Yes.” She answered, sounding nasal.

“At him? Or at yourself?”

Y/n’s head snapped in his direction to see his analytical gaze trained on her.

“At you.” She emphasized.

Hajjar hummed, almost pensive, and in the meantime Y/n was violently rubbing off the stains. Each movement shot pain across her chest and spine, which she ignored in favor of preserving what remained of her dignity. What had transpired minutes before had been beyond mortifying.

“Those three boys you saw,” Hajjar began to speak in a voice lower than before. Even though she refused to look at him, Y/n felt as though she was staring right into the mockery that they’d made of her. “They’re Minho’s friends, some of the most lethal warriors on Camp Jupiter, and they were laughing at you. Your defeat is their amusement. Do you want it to keep happening? Do you want to remain weak and pathetic, a monkey in a circus? Is that how you want to be seen and remembered?” She opened her mouth to argue but soon discovered that no words form. Hajjar waited and when he received no response, continued, “If your goal is to stay as you are, frail, malnourished, and wretched, then you should know that you’re not getting your wish.”

A million responses brewed in her mind. Acidic. Bitter. Scathing. Violent.

Thinking he won’t hear her with all the usual noise, Y/n mumbles, “It’s unfair.”

“What is?” He said, and her gaze zoomed up to his face. “Speak your mind.”

Under any other circumstance, she would have apologized profusely and walked off, dreading the moment that she’d receive the news of having become homeless. Every word she said would be reflected in their treatment of her. It was nothing stellar, but what little she had could be taken away. She and Luna couldn’t afford to badmouth the laws, the government, least of all the Pantheon. They were to be grateful above all else.

But anger had a way of nibbling at her until nothing remained but to let it out.

“It’s unfair that I’m always miles behind.” She clenched her fingers around the bloodied wet wipe. “From the beginning, everyone, everyone including you, professor, has forbidden me from training. You told me that you’d have no use for someone like me on the battlefield. And now, when I’ve finally accepted it, you decide you’ve had enough of me being frail, malnourished, and wretched. It’s unfair that you get to change your mind.”

Hajjar stared at her, silent, offering a nod while tapping his fingers as he crossed his arms over his chest. Then he spoke.

“Everyone, including yourself, looks at you like you’re a meal. Look at them.” He tilted his head to the side, eyes trained over her shoulder. She turned slightly to see the boys from before training in pairs. The two snickering boys were on one mat and Minho was against the other boy on the one right after. They were a flurry of movement, a blur. But they weren’t the only students Professor Hajjar was referring to. The entire Building is filled with such students. “Do you see that, Ms. L/n? That’s the product of years of training. If the weakest of them were to attack you, you’d stand no chance. No chance against their hand-to-hand combat skills. No chance against their inherited abilities⸺ abilities they’ve been honing under ruthless tutelage. If they come for you, you are dead meat.”

Biting back a string of insults, Y/n shut her eyes and then turned to face him again.

“Then what am I supposed to do?” She snapped and pointed at the mat. “You saw me back there. I was-

“For the past few weeks,” He began in a calm tone that forced her to listen (the man sounded reasonable in anything she said), “I have been coming up with a program. It starts with the basics of every kind of training until you decide what your fighting style and weapons of choice will be. You will need to have more than one, yes. As far as your diet is concerned, there will be adjustments. I am aware of your financial situation, but there will be no more skipping meals in the dining hall because you cannot afford some of the better choices. No more having chocolate as a substitute for a nutritious meal.”

Y/n scoffed and swiped her hand across her forehead to wipe off the sweat, accidentally brushing her wrist against the bridge of her nose. The swelling had progressed for the duration of their talk.

“You don’t seem to understand my financial situation, professor.” She stressed. “That’s what I can afford, so that’s what I’ll eat. Unless you’re suggesting I steal which-

“I will have a word with Principal Jiang, and try to come to an agreement.” That and the committed expression on his face forced her suggestions of theft to a halt. “Other members of the academic staff will surely disagree, which is an understatement, as I am certain you understand. But they’re not the only ones we have to worry about.”

Y/n looked around her. “The other students.”

“They won’t be happy about this,” Hajjar said, nodding. “Once your training begins, many of them will make it their mission to make it as unpleasant as it can get if not more.”

“Can’t the higher-ups just increase my allowance or something? Then I could make proper meals for my sister and me and-

“An Old Blood being granted special privileges?” Hajjar gave her a pointed look. “That would only make matters worse.”

Y/n’s jaw almost hit the floor in disbelief. That was such bullshit.

“Special privilege?” She said, incredulous. “They all get large amounts of money each month.”

That was the truth. Governments all around the world paid exorbitant sums of money for the demigods’ services, and as the students of Olympia University were considered up-and-coming warriors, they, too, received significant payment. On top of that, many of them already were already signed under organizations, institutions, and companies. For example, some were modeling for high-end brands while others had gone into tech. Whatever the talent, it was certain to be channeled in a productive manner. They could leave or stay, and always prosper. Such wasn’t the case for her and Luna. They would never get to leave the Camp, forced to serve until their very last breath.

Roaring laughter pulls Y/n out of her trance of resentment.

“I never said compared to them Ms. L/n.” Hajjar clarified and she only glanced up at him for a second before looking down at her knuckles. There was still some blood left. “Old Bloods have always lived in poverty. If privileges were to be granted to you when your antecedents had none, much like you at the moment, that would signal change. Not everyone likes that. The Gods certainly do not.”

For the first time since they’d been properly introduced, Y/n looked at the older man with genuine curiosity, though still tinged with confusion and acrimony.

“Why are you going out of your way to help me then?” She asked. “You’re one of them too.”

Hajjar looks at her too. But his is a look of understanding, or something akin to it. A look of acknowledgment. There is less condescension in it than she has seen in an adult for the past five years. It reminded her of Chiron and she wanted to grate her brain against scorching hot pavement for it.

“What was the first thing the Council of Elders and the Senate did once Juliana Pierce was pronounced dead?”

The change of direction almost gave her a whiplash and she stared at him, rigid. How was their previous topic in any way related to the mystery murder of Juliana Pierce? In the end, Y/n decided to just go with the flow of the discussion.

“They said that they would be investigating the matter thoroughly.” She answered.

Hajjar nodded.

“And has anything come of this investigation?” He gestured with his hands in the space between them. “Have they divulged the particulars, any novelty?”

“Not to my knowledge,” Y/n replied slowly.

“Why do you think that is?”

Just what kind of answer did he seek to hear from her? Y/n let out a sigh of exhaustion.

“They could be trying to cover it up.” She said, scratching her temple. “It’s only one student, after all, and there hasn’t been a murder since.” She paused, looking at him only briefly before she slid her gaze to her left. “Or they could be trying to come up with a way to frame it on someone.”

That seemed to please him a little, the light in his dark brown eyes shining a bit brighter. He was probably relieved to discover that she wasn’t the clod he’d initially taken her for.

“I will leave you to deliberate about what we have discussed.” He said, and before turning to leave, added, “Do not presume to evade your upcoming training, Ms. L/n.”

She watched him walk straight towards the exit and, in less than a minute, he was out of the Training Center. With his departure, the sense of being watched returned in full force. This time it was just one, however, and it ruthlessly drilled holes into the back of her head. No part of her felt safe and when she turned to catch the culprit in the act, he didn’t look in the least surprised. It looked like he had wanted her to react- like he had wanted her to know it was him.

Seeing as they were nowhere in sight, his friends had to have relocated, but that didn’t matter when his presence alone was this overpowering. As he slipped each finger into his black leather archery gloves, never breaking eye contact, Y/n felt as though she was the deer caught in the headlights. Everything about him unnerved her. From the way he rotated his wrist to his exemplary looks, the boy was his own warning sign. Thankfully, he turned and headed toward the area designated for archery practice without another glance her way. She could finally breathe.

After scanning her surroundings one last time, Y/n headed back toward the benches, gathered her belongings, and marched out of the building. Absentmindedly, she cupped her right hand over her swollen nose and grimaced. They must have found her downright horrid to look at. Especially that boy. Hopefully, they would never have to speak with each other.

******************************************************************************************

Luna and she lived in a cramped apartment, the appliances of which were dysfunctional for the most part and the furniture half-broken. There was no TV in their house as they couldn’t afford to purchase one, so they had no way of watching the news or having a movie night like she’d heard the other students do. This made it all the more difficult for them to bond with their peers. Not that the other campers were dying to, anyway. They didn’t own a laptop to complete their assignments or a phone for communication so every task was completed by hand. They received any grim news by post and did their assignments and projects by borrowing books from the libraries of their respective institutions. But the absence of these ‘luxuries’ paled in comparison to the scarcity of food in the house.

From the moment she and Luna had been given this rat’s nest to live in, there had been several nights, one after the other, that they’d gone to bed on empty stomachs. As a fifteen-year-old, with a four-year-old to care for, Y/n had had a lot to learn in terms of management. She’d spent her entire life until then caged, locked, and kept in such solitary confinement that the workings of the outside world were but silhouettes of the truth, so the task of raising a preschooler who didn’t fully trust her but needed her, had been strenuous to complete. Or ‘handle’ might be the better term. The books Chiron had lent her for study, and the fairytale picture book he’d gifted her on her 15th birthday, weren’t of much use. Geography hadn’t helped her and neither had science because above all else she lacked social skills. Above all else, she found human beings the most callous. Alien creatures amongst which she was the most peculiar.

She’d learned to ration food, skipping at least one meal every day, preferably dinner, and always reserving food for Luna. If there was one crumb of bread left, it was Luna’s. If there was none, then Y/n would beg the restraint down the block for some leftover bread. The quality mattered nothing. It could have stayed on the shelves for a week for all she cared. All that mattered was that Luna didn’t huddle beneath the sheets holding her starving belly.

Of course, whenever they received their monthly stipend, Y/n made sure to set aside the money for the bills and staple food such as potatoes, flour, oil, eggs, milk, and frozen or canned beans. If they were lucky enough to find some cheese on sale, then she seized the opportunity at once. It goes without saying that the eggs, canned or frozen beans, and the rare cheese were for Luna only as that was the only way to ensure the younger girl survived. The only thing Y/n had consumed for years was plain bread, occasional boiled potato (they couldn’t afford to fry them), milk, and water.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew what the malnourishment was doing to her body. She could feel herself wasting away one day at a time. Cracked nails, dull frizzy hair, pallid skin, sickly frame, visible ribs, hipbones, and collarbones, perpetual nausea, constant fatigue⸺ these were things she’d accepted to an extent.

When she came home today, after having picked up Luna from school, she didn’t dare have dinner upon seeing only half a bun and a glass of milk remained. The thought of allowing herself more at Luna’s expense was enough to make her fold in on herself. It made her anxious to think about having more, despite wanting so. She even dreamed of it often; stuffing her face with fried eggs, cheese, fries, sausages, and literally any kind of dessert. The alarm clock always brought the feast to a disillusioned end.

This time it wasn’t the rusty clock on the floor next to her that startled her awake. Luna’s whimpering was enough to jolt Y/n out of dreamland and she was violently pulling off the covers in a hurry to get on the bed to comfort her little sister. Only, when she rose to her feet, Luna wasn’t there. Panic swelled in her chest at first and then she found her in the corner of the cramped bedroom, knees pushed against her chest as she rocked back and forth. Her small hands were pressed against her ears, almost clawing at the shell. Y/n rushed to her and took the younger girl’s hands in her own.

“No!” Luna screeched, freeing her hands to cover her ears again. “No! No! No! Leave me alone!”

The rising panic prevented Y/n from thinking clearly. Her sister was in pain, terrified out of her wits for whatever reason, and she could do nothing but join in the screaming.

“Luna, what’s wrong?!” But the younger girl shook her head rapidly before pressing her forehead to her knees. Y/n wrapped her arms around her sister’s wispy frame. “Luna, you have to tell me. Please, you have to tell me so I can help you!"

But all Luna did was whimper and continue to shake her head. “It’s so cold. So cold. So cold!”

Y/n rubbed her hands up and down Luna’s arms and calves, trying desperately to generate some heat, but the shivers simply refused to cease. Her frustration bubbled to the surface as she stroked at a bruising pace. Luna recoiled away from her touch and nestled further into the dark corner. Her eyes were still screwed shut, tighter than before. Y/n wanted to fling all of their belongings across the room but there were so few of them to begin with. The sour concoction of fatigue, hunger, the throbbing on her face and body, and the awareness of her worthlessness was skewing her judgment. When she managed to calm her breathing, she understood that she could either soothingly coax the truth out of the whimpering girl or waste the night by staying awake and crashing at a random location during the day. Faced with these two options; Y/n sat in front of Luna on the cold floor, legs pressed against her front as she caressed the little girl’s hands. The little girl’s eyes fluttered open, wary of what she might see if she opened them too quickly.

“Hey, little moth,” Y/n said as if in greeting and pressed the tip of her nose, “You look so little sitting here.”

At that, Luna scowled and indignantly said, “I’m not little.”

“But look at you.” Y/n poked her cheek teasingly and then her ribs and then her nose again, watching her sister squirm until she finally gave a little squeal of mirth, “So little.”

When Y/n stopped teasing and instead rubbed Luna’s small hands for warmth, the little girl’s big brown eyes bore into hers.

“Is that why I’m so cold?” She asked in an unsteady voice.

Y/n didn’t know the answer to that. She was older than Luna by more than a decade, had experienced both the biting cold and sweltering heat, and only Chiron had cared to provide her with blankets that didn’t improve her condition much. She’d learned to sleep through it, shivering even in her dreams. But did the cold ever stop hurting?

She gave Luna a small smile.

“Maybe.” She said, easing Luna’s hands inside the frayed sleeves of her nightwear, watching as the fingers curled bunched around the hem to form a stump. Then she moved on to her feet, massaging them as gently as she could. “The smaller you are, the more sensitive you are. When you’re grown, pain doesn’t make you cry easily.”

There was a gleam of uncertainty in Luna’s flitting gaze as she muttered, “But she was crying.”

Y/n halted, and for a few dreadful moments she could hear nothing over the ringing in her ears⸺ not the engine of the motorbikes at such late an hour, not the whistling of the spring wind, not the occasional shout that her neighbors responded to with profanities of their own, not even Luna’s sniveling. Nothing mattered more at this moment than what her little sister had just confessed. Never before had displayed abilities of this nature. For a long time, it had seemed as though she possessed none other than the cloak of darkness she so often draped over her form when anxious, panicked, or terribly hungry. One especially cold night with the wind rattling their sorry windows, bundled up under two incredibly frayed blankets, Luna had asked Y/n if she could do anything with the darkness, and the latter had answered that she could. How it had delighted the 5-year-old, her eyes glinting with excitement as she asked for a display. Y/n had apologized, saying she couldn’t do anything special, only hear what the shadows whispered and listen as the darkness came alive. One look at the disappointed pout on Luna’s face and Y/n had known, as they lay in bed, shivering with their arms around each other, that she would never be able to make her sister proud.

“What?” Y/n asked, and Luna glanced at her before looking down at her feet, clearly avoiding her elder sister’s questioning gaze. She couldn’t. Y/n wasn’t planning on letting her, so she clasps her hands around Luna’s calves, and massages the flesh underneath the tattered clothes. “No, look at me, Luna. Who was crying?”

Finally, the truth bursts out of the girl like water from a dam, “The girl! She was cold! She was crying!”

What girl is she talking about, Y/n thought. But there was no time to dwell on it with how Luna had begun to sob, snot running down her chin. Y/n opened the drawer next to the bed and pulled out a handkerchief she had been gifted four years ago.

She used it to wipe Luna’s nose clean as she tried to calm her down, “It was probably just a dream-

“But I wasn’t sleeping.” It was said in such a small, feeble voice that Y/n almost had to puzzle to the pieces together for the meaning to come in full. Luna herself looked startled and ashamed at her abrupt admission, her eyes wide like those of a spooked animal. Met with Y/n’s silence, the little girl wiped at her eyes with her stumps. “I’m so hungry, I’m sorry. I can’t sleep. I’m sorry. She was screaming and I-

“Do you know where she is right now?” Y/n blurted out the question as she gently helped Luna to her feet and led her to the bed. “Can you tell me?”

Luna sat there at the side of the bed, still wiping at her eyes. Even in the darkness, lifted only slightly by the scant golden hue emitting from the lampposts outside, Y/n could tell the skin around them was red and tender.

“Will you go there?” At her big sister’s stillness, Luna’s expression morphed into one of fear. She launched her shivering body forward and wrapped her scrawny arms around Y/n’s middle to prevent her from leaving. Y/n tried to gently detangle herself, but the girl’s arms tightened. “No, no, don’t leave! Don’t leave! Please, don’t leave!”

This was going to be harder than Y/n had initially thought. Luna wasn’t used to being alone. Y/n had learned during their first few days inhabiting the same space that the little girl loathed the thought of being left alone. That’s why she subconsciously used her powers; so that the shadows might keep her company. If Y/n went to the market, Luna would, too. If Y/n sought refuge in the sunflower fields, it would be while holding Luna’s hand. Even at school, where the nine-year-old spent the majority of her time as an outcast, there was always an adult nearby to keep an eye on her. She was never out of someone’s sight.

Tonight, that would change.

“I have to know what’s going on. I have to know why you’re…” She shut her eyes momentarily, slowly unfastening Luna’s arms from around her. She looked into her big, dark irises that looked up at her, pleading. “I’ll be back, okay? I’ll be back sooner than you think. I promise. But you have to tell me.”

Luna was quiet for a few moments that felt like an eternity at a standstill. When she was ready to talk, her eyes screwed shut once more, removing the present from her sight.

“I saw a fountain. And then- and then stairs.” She hiccupped, and, seemingly trying to recall the events in greater detail, her face scrunched up as if she’d tasted something bitter. Her hands came up to cover her ears, leaving whatever warmth they’d accumulated while bunched up in the sleeves. “There was a big statue.”

Instantly, Y/n pulled Luna into her chest and rocked her back and forth.

“Alright, alright, little moth. Calm down,” She shushed, gently stroking the back of Luna’s head. “It’s alright. It’s alright. Everything’s fine, you’ll see.”

Luna sniffled. “What if you don’t come back?”

Y/n took a deep breath and kissed her temple. Then she eased her sister beneath the blanket, adding her own since she wouldn’t need it for the night.

“Here. You wait for me here, okay?” She instructed, and Luna nodded. Her eyes were the only parts of her peeking above the hem. Y/n put on the thickest hoodies she owned and the jeans she’d worn during the day. Before heading out the door, she turned to Luna once more, “Don’t move, okay? Wait here for me. I’ll be back soon.”

The night air was always crisp in New Rome, regardless of the season. But it being March, the month with the most unpredictable weather of all, it meant she could be going home drenched from head to toe despite it being only a bit humid outside. But the weather was far from being her biggest concern at the moment. No, there was something else in the air. Something foul yet clinical, far removed from the world. The darkness shivered but it did not speak. The streetlights flickered as she all but sprinted up north in the direction of the inner city.

Luna had described the setting using but three objects but that had sufficed. Only one part of New Rome fit that description, but it took 45 minutes by subway to get there, and there was none at this late hour. She looked at her watch to confirm the time; 1:54 AM. Still, she had to try and get there, hopefully not before other people or that would make her a prime suspect if what Luna had seen had indeed happened. She didn’t have the luxury of stopping to catch her breath or gag from exertion and fatigue. Those things she could do back home when she returned.

The farther up north she ran, the more alive the world appeared. Barracks turned into rundown apartments which in turn evolved into skyscrapers. Each time Y/n had come here from age fifteen to eighteen on school trips with her classmates, the inner city had seemed all the more gargantuan, as if expanding. Later, she’d learned that such was indeed the case. New Rome was thrice the size of New York and far better equipped to defend itself against foreign attacks. By the time she turned forty, its borders might have stretched to the size of France. All of this while most humans outside remained none the wiser.

She took several turns to get to her destination, though never straying far from the main road. She wasn’t the most familiar with the nooks and crannies of the city and could easily get lost. But when she got to the destination, she wished that she had.

What had once been a place of magnificence, was now a site of crucifixion. A young woman’s body, probably around her age, remained suspended in the air only thanks to the tip of Jupiter’s lightning which jutted out of her abdomen. The fountain surrounding the gargantuan marble statue resembled less a spot of relaxation and more a pot in which blood had come to a boil and sprayed the crimson hue all over the stairs below. The roaring of the engines of vehicles was reduced to an afterthought as the people gathered around the edges, never daring to climb up the steps. There was screaming but Y/n couldn’t tell if it belonged to a toddler or an adult. Not that it mattered. At one point, everyone was either shrieking for help or screaming at others to call for the ambulance and authorities. Others fled from the scene, horrified at the sight before them.

Because it wasn’t just the death of the young woman that had terror spreading throughout the crowd like wildfire through a forest that hadn’t felt a drop of rain in months. It was the distorted limbs, bent at inhuman angles. It was the sight of her eyes or lack of them. The skin of her upper torso had been flayed and where her heart had once beaten, there now existed nothing but emptiness. Enough muscle had been left intact so as to prevent the organs from spilling. Her lips were open in a scream, one that had likely gone unheard. Part of her long black hair clung to her skin and the rest followed the direction of the wind. Whoever or whatever had done this to her had not done her corpse the courtesy of preserving her dignity in death. She was completely bare from head to toe. A morbid spectacle. Luna had witnessed this. Luna had heard her screams and watched her cry. For some reason, the darkness had wanted Luna to keep her eyes and ears open for the crime. Or hunger had. Perhaps both. And for Luna’s wellbeing, that had to remain a secret between the three of them. In fact, she had to get away from there as fast as she could, before her presence registered.

With this thought in mind, Y/n took three steps backward, still taking in the gruesome sight of the dangling corpse, and turned around to bolt in the direction she’d come from. Before she could take off properly, her feet were held hostage by some invisible force on the ground. It took a few moments for her to realize it was the shock.

Before her, stood the young man she had wished she would never have to speak to mere hours before. He stood there, no more than six yards to the right, apart from the rest as he beheld the crime scene. His dark eyes appeared to hold no emotion, but the way he gulped told Y/n he wasn’t entirely unaffected by the grisly picture. He looked different than he did back at the Training Center, too. Dressed in a simple white shirt with sleeves that reached just two inches above his elbows, washed-out jeans, and plain white trainers, he looked no different from a bystander who had just come across something vile and stopped to look.

Maybe it was the way he immediately found her eyes (as if he’d expected her to look at him) and stared back at her. But there was something in those irises of his, something almost predatory. A gleam so cuttingly uncaring and methodical. It wasn’t studious like that of Seungmin or analytical like that of Professor Hajjar, things she could comprehend and get accustomed to. No, his gaze resembled that of a serpent, one that withheld more than he revealed.

Before she knew what she was doing, Y/n sprinted right past him. She felt him stare as she rounded the corner and it burned against her back all the way home.

Chapter 2>>>

[eclipsed-radiance]

Eclipsed Radiance

The enigmatic “Lantern” of the Xianzhou Luofu. With a captivating presence and a mysterious past, Xiwang moves through Xianzhou as a beacon of light.

𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲

𝗥𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗧𝗬: ✦✦✦✦✦

𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗛: Erudition

𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗕𝗔𝗧 𝗧𝗬𝗣𝗘: Ice 

𝗕𝗶𝗼

𝗧𝗬𝗣𝗘: Playable

𝗦𝗘𝗫: Female

𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗘𝗦: Human/Ex-Herrscher

𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦: • Temporary Xianzhou Luofu

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗: • Honkai Impact 3rd (Originally)

                • Honkai Star Rail (Currently)

𝗩𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 (Xiwang)

𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛: Shin Ryujin — ITZY

𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗘: 三無 Marblue (you can skip the intro, I can’t find another CN voice 😭)

𝗝𝗔𝗣𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗘: Shin Ryujin — ITZY (subject to probably change but I can’t find anything yet)

𝗞𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗡: Shin Ryujin — ITZY

Rsa (er-sha) (Herrscher conscience)

𝗘𝗡𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗛: N/A

𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗘: Ningning — AESPA

𝗝𝗔𝗣𝗔𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗘: Sana Minatozaki — TWICE

𝗞𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗡: Lee Chaewon — LE SSERAFIM

𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄

Game Name: Lantern

Real Name: Zhào Xīwàng 

Chinese: 照希望 

Name meaning: 

•Zhào (照) means “to shine” or “reflect)

•Xīwàng (希望) literally means “hope”

She is a Nameless of the Astral Express, thought she sometimes stays in on the Xianzhou Luofu. She joined the Express because of Welt. 

In game, Lantern can be obtained through the Eclipsed Radiance banner. Featuring March 7th, Serval and Asta.   

𝘈𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴:

• Basic ATK - Reflective Slash: Physical | Lantern uses her Herrscher powers to create a razor-sharp mirror shard that she slashes with, dealing damage to a single enemy. The attack has a chance to reflect a portion of the damage back to the attacker if hit. Hair glows.

• Skill - Shattered Reflections: Mirror | Lantern summons a series of mirror shards that explode upon contact, dealing AoE (Area of Effect) damage to multiple enemies. Each shard has a chance to inflict a debuff, reducing the enemies’ defense for a short duration. Her hair glows.

• Ultimate - Prism Burst: Illusion | Lantern’s Herrscher conscience momentarily awakens to create a massive, dazzling prism that emits beams of concentrated light. This powerful attack deals high AoE damage to all enemies on the field and has a chance to blind them, reducing their freezing them for a single turn. During her ult, Lantern’s hair glows like the photo above.

• Talent - Luminous Veil: Illusion | Lantern’s presence on the battlefield causes enemies to occasionally miss their attacks due to the disorienting effect of her light and mirrors. Additionally, she gains increased speed when surrounded by multiple enemies. Her hair also glows here.

• Technique - Mirror’s Embrace: Mirror | Lantern taps into her Herrscher conscience and activates her technique to temporarily surround herself with a protective barrier made of reflective mirror shards. This barrier absorbs a portion of incoming damage and reflects a small amount back to attackers. The barrier lasts for a few turns or until a certain amount of damage is absorbed. Her hair glows here as well.

𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴:

• Total Cost 

    • Credits x3,000,000.

Artifex's Module x41.

Artifex's Cogwheel x56.

Artifex's Gyreheart x58.

Meteoric Bullet x18.

Destined Expiration x69.

Countertemporal Shot x139.

Regret of Infinite Ochema x12.

𝘌𝘪𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘴:

• 1 - Reflective Precision: Increases the damage of Reflective Slash by 12%. Additionally, the chance to reflect damage back to the attacker is increased by 8%.

• 2 - Shattered Power: Boosts the AoE damage of Shattered Reflections by 18%. Enemies hit by Shattered Reflections will have their defense reduced by 12% for an extended duration.

• 3 - Prism Overload: Enhances Prism Burst’s damage by 25%. The chance to blind enemies is increased to 35%, and the blindness duration is extended by 1 turn.

• 4 - Luminous Mirage: Increases the evasion bonus granted by Luminous Veil by 20%. Additionally, Lantern gains a 15% chance to dodge status effects while Luminous Veil is active.

• 5 - Mirror’s Reflection: Mirror’s Embrace now absorbs 30% more damage and reflects 15% more damage back to attackers. The barrier duration is extended by 1 turn and has a 10% chance to reflect status effects.

• 6 - Radiant Evasion: Whenever Lantern activates any of her abilities, she gains a 15% chance to immediately activate Shattered Reflections’ additional debuff effect. This chance is increased to 30% if multiple enemies are present, and the debuff duration is extended by 1 turn.

𝗟𝗼𝗿𝗲

𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯:

"    

        The enigmatic “Lantern” of Xianzhou. With a captivating presence and a mysterious past, she moves through the Xianzhou like a beacon of hope. Revered for her radiant strength, she seeks to uncover her forgotten purpose and navigate her way through the shadows of her lost memories. "

𝘈𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦:

Appearance:

A young woman with short, wavy light brown or ash-blonde hair and striking blue eyes. She carries a confident expression, accentuated by her stylish, gothic-inspired attire that blends elements of a tailored suit and an elaborate coat.

Outfit Details:

• Lantern wears a dark, asymmetrical jacket with pinstripe patterns on one side and solid black on the other, featuring silver accents, chains, and metal embellishments. The jacket has a longer cape-like extension on one side, adorned with intricate red and silver patterns, including diamond shapes and geometric motifs.

• She also sports a bright red necktie with a silver pin at the center, providing a vivid contrast to her monochrome ensemble.

• Fingerless gloves with red and black details complement her outfit.

• Black stockings or leggings with slits on the sides and heels in a matching color scheme of black, red, and silver add to her sleek and formidable appearance. (Guys she kinda looks a lot like Kafka.. might redo her design sometime when I find something else)

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘚𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴:

• 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘀:

Character Description: Xiwang — The Lantern of Xianzhou

Xiwang, known as the "Lantern" of Xianzhou, is a figure shrouded in mystery and intrigue. With an aura that captivates those around her, she moves through the world like a beacon of hope, her strength both radiant and enigmatic. Revered for her ability to illuminate the darkest corners, Xiwang is driven by a quest to uncover the secrets of her forgotten past and rediscover her true purpose. As she navigates the shadows of her lost memories, she remains a steadfast light, guiding others even as she searches for her own path.

𝗩𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲-𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀

𝘋𝘢𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘬:

I’m working on them 😭

𝘊𝘰𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘵:

• 

• Battle Begins - Weaknesses Break: “Let’s exploit their vulnerabilities.”

• Battle Begins - Danger Alert: “Danger detected—prepare accordingly.”

• Turn Begins: “Time to set our strategy into motion.”

• “Let’s see what the next move brings.”

• Turn Idling: “What’s taking so long?? Let’s gooo!”

• Basic ATK: “Yah!”

• Enhanced Basic ATK: “Combining skill and power for greater effect.”

• Skill: “Deploying a technique honed through years of training.”

• Skill S: “Shards, shatter them.”

• Hit by Light Attack: “A minor setback; I’ll persist.”

• Hit by Heavy Attack: “HEY!”

• Ultimate - Activate: “Say goodbye~!”

• Ultimate - Unleash: “Unleashing the full force of my strength!”

• Talent: “Activating a skill refined by discipline.”

• Downed: “I’ll be back…!.”

• Return to Battle: “I’m back!~~”

• Health Recovery: “Thanks!~”

• Technique: “Employing a technique from my martial arts training.”

• Battle Won: “Victory is sweet, like a well-written poem.”

• Treasure Opening: “Oo~ What could this be?.”

• Successful Puzzle-Solving: “The solution falls into place like lines of verse.”

• Enemy Target Found: “Target locked—proceeding with precision.”

• Returning to Town: “Heading back to base; mission accomplished.”

NOTES: Character stories, Voicelines and more are still works in progress.. LMK if you want to be tagged in them!

MOD: @onionhaseyeojin

EXTRA:

[t3kandson]

Player and the

Three dads

Word count; 6,963

Fandom; Stray Kids & The Boyz

Pairing; Reader X Seo Changbin, Reader X Bang Chan aka Christopher, Reader X Lee Juyeon, Seo Changbin X Bang Chan

Characters; Seo Changbin, Bang Chan, Lee Juyeon, Moon Kevin, Ju Haknyeon, Lee Sangyeon, Lee Hyunjae, Han Jisung, Lee Felix, Lee Know, Shin Ryujin, Hwang Yeji, Choi Jisu, Sohn Eric & Kim Sunwoo.

Warning; Angst, Insecurity, Flirting, Labour talk, Oral (Receiving) , Fingering, Threesome, Face riding, Anal penetration & Anal Creampie.

Taglist; @ilovechanhee

Notes; Don't forget to stream Gibberish & Chk Chk Boom

Part four of seven earlier parts here

Previous part Player might be me.

"You look beautiful," Kevin said admiring you as you smiled his way. "You mean I scrub up well," you said showing off as you twirl. "You scrub up more then well," Haknyeon said turning you to face the full view mirror. He was right you was almost unrecognisable in your wedding dress. Today was the day you was getting married. You was finally making a family for your children. You was so blessed and so in love that you couldn't wait to see the very people dearest to you. "Mummy," Jubin said running behind you in her beautiful bridesmaid's dress. "Don't you look a stunner princess," you smile besotted. It's then Hyunjae walks in holding the most beautiful little toddler in his arms. Your hands reach out to hold the little mite, but Hyunjae grip stays strong keeping you parted. "He needs his dad, he needs changing," Hyunjae said chuckling with his nose wrinkled. "Well their getting changed right now, surely you can do it being his godfather and everything," Kevin scoffs as Hyunjae scowls his way. "Do I look like a dad, I'm the fun crazy uncle for a reason," he scoffs as the toddler wiggles desperate to get to you. "Come here, this uncle can be responsible and fun," Kevin groans as he scoops the bundle up and takes him to change him. "You have to hold your brother’s hand very dearly," you say cupping Jubin’s face. "I'm a good Nuna," Jubin complains as if you've insulted her. "I know just he may be a little overwhelmed, their's a lot of people out there," you said pressing a kiss to her forehead. A knock goes on the door and your stomach gets the wildest butterfly's. You know that means Changbin and Christopher are ready. "I thought you said you wasn't nervous," Hyunjae says amused at the change of your demeanour. "I'm not, just it's taken a lot, an awful lot to get here," you said as Haknyeon held his hands to you. "Then for what it's worth let every second of today be enjoyed," he said squeezing that made you smile widely. "Are you going to make them wait, Changbin is looking like he wants to run out there," Kevin said coming back into the room as he placed him on the floor. Jubin held his hand lovingly as you cherished looking at them both. "Come on let's get you married," Kevin said holding his hand out to you as you took it nervously

------------------🔺------------------- (Christopher POV)

You could watch the way that Y/N would hold the most precious little person in the world all day long. Flicking her long hair back as she struggled under the weight of the little girl you had brought up since birth. Bang Jubin wasn't biologically your daughter and you didn't care. You had watched her grow in her mother's tummy, felt her kick as you fell in love with the faceless human. Her most beautiful features as she cried when you first held her had you promise you would never let her go, what ever the cost. But though you remained calm you could feel it in your veins, that that promise was going to be forced away from you.

The very person who was going to take your world away was hiding in the crowd of friends and relatives that had come to Jubin's 5th birthday. The same guy who shared similar features, that you were annoyed that you didn't figure it out the second you clamped your eyes on your work friends Minho stag do. Though fear froze through you when the words of him back in Y/N’s life made you tremble. The reminder of his antics, the stripper that he had pushed against the wall in his throws. It was some what calming that he seemed the kind to run away. The stories from Jacob, Sangyeon, Kevin, Haknyeon and Hyunjae and even his good friend Minho told you your little family wasn't under threat. Even when you had to take the biggest gamble to save Jubin’s life and bring him to the hospital. Though you would have done it at any cost you took comfort he wouldn't stick around. Your blended family with your secret partner Changbin, Y/N and Jubin was safe.

But over the last several Months you had seen a different side to the story's, to the first impressions you had. Juyeon who had stood at the side watching the little girl had become almost the paternal type. You could see him itching for more responsibility as the days passed. From visiting the house as a uncle, once a week, to Juyeon taking her out with Y/N for days out. You had felt mixed emotions having encouraged the relationship between them to blossom to pure jealousy. Which then gave you guilt that you hated a situation that Jubin herself loved. Why did someone you were told an ass had to be someone paternal and sweet when it came to Jubin. Though you kept your emotions tight, Changbin was often very noisy about how scared he felt. It was often your reassurance, but the more Juyeon was around the harder it was to keep up the pretence. Changbin smiled in your view your way as his eyes took to Juyeon himself. Instead of fear he acted the only way he knew. Holding his hand out to Jubin he snatched her from Y/N with little fight from her. Her arms throwing around his neck as he swung her cradled in the air. A quick glimpse Juyeon's way and his complexion was a little more tense. "Hey if we're giving birthday throws, I'm in," Hyunjae says stepping in to take the mite from Changbin’s arms. Y/N roll of her eyes beneath her amused expression, and Changbin grin you could see Juyeon’s jaw tense. You knew Juyeon had huge issues with Y/N's friends. Hyunjae had realised this as his hands rested on Y/N’s side. Her nervous glance toward Juyeon told you she was more concerned for his expression then yours and Changbin’s. Though you had been use to there flirting, this still unsettled you. It was those tiny things that brought fear that your family was about to be broken. "So My little Bang Bin what do you want Samchon to buy you," Hyunjae said placing her to the floor as he held on to her to stop her balance being taken. "Dance classes, but mum won't let me," She snapped as Y/N rolled her eyes her daughter’s way. "Sweetheart I never said no I just said we don't have much money," Y/N said patting her daughter’s head as she frowned not amused. "I'll pay for them," Juyeon said walking closer to your family as you watched Changbin hands reach to Y/N’s waist. "Thanks but," , "Really Samchon Juyeon," Jubin squealed as she threw herself into to him. He paused looking Y/N’s way as she looked out her depth. "I'm sure we will find the funds," Changbin said in his usual dominance around Juyeon. "Samchon ruined the surprise, but Daddy Bin has got you some dance lessons," he said as Y/N snapped her head his way. Juyeon lips pursed in a irritation he was trying his hardest to swallow. You could feel the tension between them both fizzling. Y/N knew it too looking to you for support. "I'm sure they're is something else you would like Samchon Juyeon to buy you," you said as your little girl put her finger to her chin in thought. She was as cute as a button letting her mind wander over all the things she could have. "A pony," she said giggling in excitement as Juyeon's face dropped. You could see Changbin smirk from the corner of your eyes. "I could buy some horse riding lessons, but a whole horse might be a bit too much," Juyeon said after composing himself. "Really?" Jubin said in so much excitement she jumped herself into Juyeon’s arms. "Anything for my beautiful princess," he said with his doting father eyes as he pulled a string of her hair behind her ears. You could feel Changbin tense. Y/N’s hand gliding behind hers to hold his. It was her way to bring comfort you had noticed that. But you could see the way Juyeon fixed on the same scene, his eyes finding hers as they locked in a look that had not become unfamiliar recently. The look where you could read Y/N’s mind. Where she wished she could trust him so she could be with him. The reminder that you and Changbin was second best. Those moments were only short lived but you hated it every time you witnessed it.

Kissing the sleeping beauty on her forehead you left the room with one last look at her. Knowing she was sleeping peacefully was calming to view. You made your way down the stairs Y/N laying her head on Changbin’s chest as her feet rested on Hyunjae's lap. Lia sat on Jacob’s lap as his hand splashed over her slightly growing bump. Sangyeon and Yeji was chasing their three children getting them ready to go home. Their youngest son curled up on the far end of the sofa having fallen asleep the minute you took Jubin to bed. In the corner Kevin, Haknyeon was drinking a couple of shots with Jisung and Felix. Making your way to the four people drinking group you took the shot Felix had poured for you. "You look like you needed that," he smirked as you smiled his way. "Something like that," you spluttered as you watched him pour you another. "Can't believe he is throwing money at her," Jisung said comforting. "Can we not talk about him tonight. Their is only so much of Lee Juyeon I can cope with in one day," you said throwing the drink back as Kevin patted your shoulder. "You got his family everything else is irrelevant just remember that," he said trying to reassure you. He might have been Y/N’s friend but you had become fond of him he and Haknyeon was very much on the anti Juyeon brigade. Looking towards your lovers Y/N eyes find yours and they lift with a smile as she blows a air kiss. Your heart feels warmth and all you want is to kick everyone out and make love to her and Changbin. “She’s crazy about you and Changbin and as her close friend it leaves me able to sleep knowing you have her back," Kevin added standing up to find his jacket. "Thanks for coming today mate," you said patting him on his shoulder this time. With a glance to Haknyeon he follows suit. Not long later you hug Hyunjae, your last remaining visitor. The house becomes empty with just Changbin and Y/N who has fallen asleep in his arms. "We won't lose them will we?" He asks looking up at you. "You worry too much," you said plastering a fake smile. "We get her dance lessons and he gets her horse riding ones. What if he offers her and Y/N that family life she always wanted," he said brushing his hands along her hair as she fidgets snuggling into him. "We need to stop thinking of the what if before we forget to enjoy what we do have Binnie," you say leaning down to cup his face. "Right now counts and right now we have them both," you said letting your own concerns leave as you pressed a kiss to his lips. The kiss deepens as Changbin releases Y/N, his hands grabbing the back of your neck letting his tongue massage yours. "Let me put this one to bed, I need to ravish you," Changbin said as you felt your dick harden from his words.

With that you lift your sleeping girlfriend into your arms while Changbin stands. Y/N murmurs in her sleep as her hands touch your chest. If only she was awake you would see to her too. But you wasn't into having sex with people who couldn't consent.

Changbin pulled the bed sheets across so you could place Y/N in her own bed. The both of you tucking her in as she continued into her slumber. Changbin watched her intently you couldn't tell if he was hoping she would wake to join you. Or if he was fretting once more. "Baby, Let her sleep," you whispered as he kissed her temple and followed you out the room.

You barely made it into your own when Changbin hands found your wrist. Pulling you into him his tongue slips into your mouth. You can feel his hands find your ass as he helps to roll you into his. Feeling your members collide against one another has you suckle each others moans. Changbin’s hands fall down your chest, the butterfly's that you have every time with him bubbling. Pulling you with him he kisses you as he drags you to the bed. But you flip him so he's lying underneath you, smirk in your view. "Let me see that body," he growls looking needy. Lifting your T-shirt he whistles as he takes you in . "You really leaving me out, huh," you hear a voice from the corner startling you both. "Baby you were sleeping so beautifully we didn't want to wake you," you said with a reaching hand towards her. "I'm not foreign to being woken by your cocks," she said teasingly as she took your hands lacing her fingers with yours. "Duly noted," you whisper kissing her top of her hand. Changbin’s hands the needy then ever, finds the bottom of her T-shirt Pulling her into him. "Why am I being left out," he whines not giving Y/N a chance to respond as his mouth clashes with his. He tackled her T-shirt off her attaching his lips back to her. One hand finds its way up your chest as he dips his fingers into your abs. The other cups Y/N’s breast as you cock feels tight against your jeans. The image of them too making out is so hot. Her free nipple hits your focus as you feel the need to let your lips feel it. Following your desires you hear Changbin suck down her moan. Hands feeling desperate for what's below as it find the band line of her bottoms. Changbin can feel the same sentiment as his hand reach to copy on yours. A little more inpatient he finds your hot shaft and brings it out to the fresh air. You buckle into his soft pumps around you. Vibrations around Y/N’s breast makes her breath hitch. Her hips thrust against nothing in an attempt to have you play with her own heat. Chuckling you obey letting her bottoms rest on her thighs enough to let your finger interact with her nub. Hearing her cry to the rubbing of her clit goes straight to your cock. Your thrusts become more harsher into Changbin’s palm. "I need to taste this," you whine as your fingers sink into Y/N’s heat as her hand falls to your skin, nails ready to claw. "Taste me, take me," she begs as your finger starts pumping into her. Changbin enjoys matching your Rhythm as you and Y/N moans hit the air in a mess of desperate need. "You two are so whiny," Changbin says with his voice deepen, knowing how you and Y/N respond to it. "You both look beautiful falling apart," he growls snatching your hand from hers. Just as her eyes look annoyed in his direction, he smirks his mischievous look. It's like it instantly shuts her up. His fingers replacing yours he looks like he's made from the devil. Slamming his fingers into her as she gets undone on his digits. "Fuck Binnie," she cry's, as you smile as how weak he's made her fall. He notices your reaction, his hand restarts your own torture. "Look at my two babies weak at my actions," he mocks as your hand falls to her waist. You're not sure if you're holding her up or yourself. He picks his pace on you both till you hear Y/N’s familiar cliff nearing. Slipping his fingers he holds his to your lips. Sinking them in you taste her sweet juices letting your tongue swirl around to get every drop. "She tastes good doesn't she?” Changbin smirks at your hungry response. Before you can reply his lips are against yours. Tongue needly showing you he's not as resistant as his body makes out. "Lay down," he orders slapping your ass. Y/N’s eyes widen as she watches you obey your fiancée.

His hands fall to Y/N’s face as he presses his lips to her. Their heated passion as you see Y/N’s hands tangle in his hair. "Ride our man’s face," he says struggling to catch his breath when their lips depart. Hissing when she wraps her hands round your member as she makes her way up the bed. Thighs along your neck she looks down at you. You can see her need to have her release in them. Helping to lift her, her hand falls to the headboard to hoist above your lip. Placing them down to your awaiting tongue. She tastes so Devine like the most perfect dessert as your tongue laps up the juices already pooling. Flatting your tongue against her clit she rolls herself against you. Your hands find their way to her thighs to help keep her steady as she starts her pace. Mews falling into the air as you feel a warm mouth take your own member. Changbin starts his own rhythm as you felt his hand's part your own thighs. Finger slipping into your ass you hiss against Y/N’s heat. Slowly he pumps you before placing a second one. Her hand placed over yours that is trying to stop your nail piercing her skin. Fingers are removed as you hear the squirt of lube that you know is for Changbin's Cock. You feel the head at your rim as you breathe in ready for the short-term pain. Slowly and gently Changbin pushes in to you and you become a whiny mess under Y/N’s heat. "Don't stop," she moans as her hands find your hair, gently pulling on them. Changbin chuckling starts his slow pace as your attempt at Y/N’s pussy become sloppy with no rhythm. Once the pain becomes pleasure you start your pace back up. Y/N makes sure to know her heaven in the vibration your moaning makes. Fingers wrapping around to her clit you help her catch her high. You can tell from the way she's leaning herself as heavy as she can against you that she's not far. "Chris babe," she crys. "Just their, oh fuck," she adds. Changbin tossing your leg over his shoulders. His pace matching Y/N’s rolls as they both get lost into fucking you. Changbin’s cock hits your prostrate so perfectly that your only high is at the verge too. Y/N’s grip in you pulls so hard that your scalp stings as she squirts over your face. Shaking her thighs hard as she rides out her high. Your own pushed as your nails dig into what ever skin of Y/N’s you can find. It's like your own orgasm stays as Changbin fills your ass with his own, his deep groaning and panting being like heaven to hear. It's like Changbin is weakened as he throws himself onto you. Not caring that he's laying on your own cum that's painted on your stomach. Y/N rolls onto her back beside you both looking exhausted. Her eyes falling to the ceiling in a lost expression. One that feels you with dread. It's not her usual fucked out face, it's one of guilt and a pang of negative thoughts hit you, was she imagining him? Was she riding Juyeon's face and not yours?

--------------------🔺------------------

Juyeon's pov

"Hi Princess," you said when you saw your beautiful daughter run down the stairs. "Samchon Juju," she says as she wraps her arms around your waist. It's a bitter pill to swallow her calling you uncle while Changbin and Christopher was Daddy. But how do you tell a child that her world isn't as it seems. Though you would love to have her call you dad. You loved her enough not to want her confused. "What are we doing today?" She asked all excited. "What would you like to do?" You asked as Y/N found her way down the stairs Changbin not far behind her. The way his chuckle hit the room that had her look to him looking in love. You had your hopes that she was the cover story for their relationship. But you had been proven wrong. They doted on her just as much as they did with each other. It really was an equal thropple one that made your heart hurt. The old you would have played his games and won her back. But this was a new and improved version. You had to show your daughter what a real man was and that you could be one. "Samchon Juju," you heard from Jubin below snapping your attention back. "Yes princess," you said tucking her hair behind her ears. "When can I go horse riding lessons?" She asked as Changbin suddenly realised your presence. "I need to talk to mummy about it but I'm sure it be soon," you said picking her up onto your arms. It wasn't to defy Changbin but because you really wanted this father and daughter moment. Changbin’s eyes widened and though you wouldn't lie at his uncertainty right then, you placed her down after your voice reminded you this was unfair. Especially being his house and everything. "Juyeon," Y/N said with her usual floaty happiness. "Y/N," you replied as Changbin’s eyes snatched between you both. "Sorry Christopher let me in on his way to work," you explained as Changbin eyes widened. "Without me is he crazy," he groaned grabbing his mobile. "He said he would wait only five minutes," you explained passing Christopher's message. "Oh now you tell me," Changbin snapped rushing to make it out the building. But before he could leave he ran back snatching Jubin in his arms swinging her around. "Bye Princess have fun today," he said as he let her back to the floor chuckling. "Bye daddy," she grinned as she watched him leave. "You here for the horse-riding lessons,” Y/N, asked you gathering your attention. "Erm not yet was wondering if you two would like to come on a picnic," you asked as she looked at your daughter. It was like she was trying to work out the correct reply before her shoulders lagged. "Ok let me grab a few things," she said as Jubin looked at you with excitement. "How about that Princess a day out with mummy and Samchon Juju," you said as her eyes beamed with excitement.

Resting the towel on the beach You watched as Y/N and Jubin sat on the towel. The summer heat in the air was hot against your skin as Y/N started smothering sun lotion into Jubin’s delicate skin. Taking the sun lotion from Y/N you squirted some in your palm and dabbed some onto your finger. Chuckling you dabbed a small amount on her dimples, the ones she shared with her mother. Jubin was the perfect combination of you and Y/N. You knew if you stood in a line with Changbin and Christopher everyone would guess you was her biological father. If only you had seen her as a small bundle you could have prevented being just a uncle. As much as you wanted to snatch her from her adoptive fathers arms. You cared enough for your little girl that you didn't want her to be confused. You would take the jealousy, the burning ache just to keep her life as simple as you could. It didn't mean you didn't dream. Many times you imagined Jubin finding out. Her being mad, angry and then wanting to call you daddy. To run towards you with excitement and invite you to the daddy and daughter dance.

"Samchon Juju," she moaned annoyed with your suncream smudges on her cheek. "We have to protect your skin princess," you said using your thumb to wipe it along her cheekbone before rubbing it into the skin. "You don't want to burn do you?” Y/N added before placing her padded water life jacket on. "Oh you don't want to do that it's painful," you said dramatically shuddering causing her to giggle. "But you haven't put any on," she scowled arms folded that caused your body to warm with laughter. Her very image of her mother when she was looking unimpressed your way. "Yeah your right I'm being naughty myself," you chuckled as her scowl turned into a wide grin. "Mummy put some on Samchon Juju," she giggled as your body tensed a little. It wasn't that you didn't want her hand smothering cream into you. But that the urge to make her yours scared you. Since the situation with Lulu at the hotel you had promised never to stray regardless if you were the single party or not. "Come on then sit," Y/N said as if it was easier for her. You looked at her with an arched eyebrow as she tapped the space Jubin sat moments beforehand. Obeying you plopped yourself down, taking a deep breath to ground yourself as Y/N started rubbing the cream into your back. "Do you want to help me," she said to Jubin as she shook her head as her eyes took to the children close by. "Looks like I have to do it myself," she giggled as she drew into the lotion which clearly was too much on your back. Heart beating hard you felt the love heart she was drawing. A mixture of confusion, guilt and desire burning you. Throat drying as you struggle with words to throw out. Anything to try to hint to her that this wasn't what you wanted. Even though deep down she was everything you needed, everything you dreamed of. "Samchon can I have an icecream?” Jubin asked distracting your thoughts. Focusing on her face you remembered your promise to the little girl for a less confusing life. "Yes once mummy’s finished I will get you an icecream," you said smiling her way till she looked at your back. "Jubin hearts her daddy's," she read giggling. Your head snapped towards her as she smiled warmly your way. It wasn't the look of any mocking she was making the gesture that your daughter loved you too. "Come on, my princess wants her icecream," you said standing up as Y/N laughed looking up towards you. "You don't want me to rub that in?" She questioned as you offered your hand to her. "No," you smirked back as she used your hand to jump up.

You held Jubin on your shoulders as you walked deeper in the sea, the waves slightly harsher against your chest as Y/N was being sloshed slightly by the crushing waves. "Are you trying to drown us?” she complained as a wave caused her to lose her footing as she submerged under the water. Your free hand pulling her back chuckling she scowled at you. "Deeper Samchon," Jubin squealed in excitement as Y/N didn't look impressed. "Hold onto my waist to keep you up," you mocked as she rolled her eyes. Her arms reaching around your waist just as a wave crashed. She held you tight as Jubin enjoyed the feeling of the wave hitting her knee. "Deeper," she demanded as you couldn't help but chuckle at your daughter’s adrenaline craving. She was more like you then you gave her credit for. "Princess if we go in any further Mummy will ground us both," you teased as the wave caused more water to splash into Y/N’s face. "Damn right," she spluttered digging her nails into your side. "Ok ok we're go back," you relented turning around to head towards the beach.

"Hungry?" You said looking at Jubin as she nodded rubbing her hands in circle motion around her stomach. "Have you got some Hoppang?" She asked leaning into the basket the water still dripping from her hair from the fun in the sea. "No, I haven't but I got some Nachos,” you said shaking out a box of some you made earlier in the day. Jubin’s face screwed up as she looked further in the picnic basket you packed. "I've got some Tuna Gimibap," you said as you grabbed the box she turned over. "Jubin don't like Tuna," Y/N said as you felt a sting not knowing what foods Jubin liked. Y/N had always came with her foods that made you feel like it was a Christopher health choice. So you didn't take note. "What about some chicken kebabs sticks," Juyeon said opening the box. The guilt hitting when Jubin scowled. "Or we can go back to mine and I'll order some takeout?" You said in a last-ditch of hope. "Really?" She said with excitement as Y/N looked unsure. The two of them had never come to your house. "Yes if it's ok with Mummy," you said looking to her for confirmation. You were worried she was going to decline but Jubin pleaded that she accepted.

Take out in your new apartment went well. Jubin had tucked into her burger that you had ordered, colouring in the book that you had purchased earlier in the day. Y/N was sinking into the bottle of wine you offered as you listened to her talk. Hearing how she desired to go back to school to finish the course she ran from. Pain hit your heart knowing that you were that very reason she ran away from her dreams. Before you knew it Jubin had fallen asleep, her cute angelic face asleep on her book. "We better get you guys home," you said standing up to find your car keys. "Thanks for today Juyeon," She said as she stood up too, her eyes dazzling in your view. "It's been real fun," you said as you couldn't help but get lost in the view of her. "I know how hard it's been, you know playing at being the uncle," she said looking a little sad. "It hurts I won't lie, but it's what I deserve," you whispered letting your world fall. "It's my fault for not giving you the chance," she whispered as you saw the guilt on her expression. "But Changbin and Christopher are doing such a great job," you said as your pride hurt. "They are, but sometimes I wish it wasn't like this, sometimes," her words was cut off by your phone ringing.

Pressing the ignore button you looked to Y/N to continue. "Who's that?" She asked as the phone rang again. "No one important," you gulped with frustration hoping Elle would give up. "Looks like it's important to them," she said as the phone rang a third time. "Everything’s important to them," you said rolling your eyes cutting her off more. "It's Lulu isn't it?" Y/N said her face looking in pain. "It's Elle," you said confused as the phone rang once more. Before you could ignore the call again Y/N grabbed your phone from your palm answering it. Heart racing at the prospect of drama brewing you looked at her face fall. "Eric's not here, I'll pass you to him," she said as she passed the phone to you. "It's Elle she's in labour and can't find Eric," she said as your brain went numb with confusion. "Juyeon the baby's coming calm her down," she said almost impatient with the lack of response from you. "Juyeon," she pleaded as you reluctantly took the phone. "Are you ok?" You said not sure how to respond as Y/N palmed her forehead frustrated. "Support her calm her," Y/N whispered as you heard Elle’s Cry's. "The baby’s coming I don't know what to do. Eric isn't answering his phone. It's too early Juyeon," she sobbed down the phone struggling for breath. "How early?" You spluttered as Y/N looked at you with concern. "Four weeks," she whimpered. "Four weeks is that bad?" You asked Y/N confused. "Yes," Elle groaned before Y/N put her hand flat mid air shaking it to gesture possibly. "Tell her to go to the hospital, find Eric," Y/N said as you heard her whimpering get louder. "Elle go to the hospital I will drop Jubin off and go find Eric," you said as Y/N dialled on her own phone. "I already checked with Sangyeon he's not there," she cried as Y/N put her own phone to her ear. “Baby could you pick me up from Juyeon's, he's got an emergency, and he can't drop me home," Y/N said as your eyes widened. "I didn't say,", "I will text you the address," she cut you off with her hand in the air. "You haven't got time Babe," she said your heart being whipped by the sudden pet name. "I'm on my way now, I’ll take you to hospital myself and find Eric afterwards," you said snapping into action. "Please hurry," Elle whimpered once more. "I'm coming now," you promised as Y/N looked smiling your way. "You can lock up right?" You said to Y/N as you took the phone from your hearing. "Post it through the door I have a spare," you said as she nodded. "You’ll be ok right?" You asked placing your hands on her arms. "I'll be fine your best mate’s wife needs you right now," she said smiling your way. "Sorry," you said tucking a loose hair. "Don't apologise," she said going on her tiptoes to place a kiss, your lips slotting together just momentary. But it was enough to burn through your body. You wanted to process what was happening with these mixed signals today but right now you didn't have the time. But you knew you was walking on dangerous territory. You didn't want an affair with the mother of your child. You didn't want to take Y/N away from Changbin and Christopher and be who everyone expected you to be. But at the same time your heart was so full of love for Y/N. She was more then your daughters mother, you were very much in love with her.

-------------------🔺------------------- Y/N's pov

You would lie if you weren't annoyed for his lack of paternal instinct as he took that call from Elle. It was like she was the reminder of his loss of his family. Though you shared similar thoughts. You heard that fear in her voice you were blessed with two angels when you went into labour and right now she was without. But the second his mind snapped in and he offered to take her to the hospital while trying to contact Eric. Made you proud of the man he had become. Though the sting in your stomach that he would possibly be supporting the woman who he cheated on having another man's child. All while you were left alone in your predicament. The dreams that you dreamt the second that pregnancy test was positive. Was one that could have been real if only Juyeon had realised you was the one pregnant. "You can lock up right?" He asked as he placed his phone to the side as you smiled. "Post it through the door I have a spare," he added as you nodded. "You’ll be ok right?" He asked placing his hands on your arms. The warmth hitting you, the recent attraction that you were struggling to ignore igniting you again. "I'll be fine your best mate’s wife needs you right now," you reassured him. "Sorry," he said tucking a loose hair. The impact having your body on overdrive. Desires firing like he was all you wanted all you needed. You reminded yourself of Changbin and Christopher. "Don't apologise," you said feeling sorry for his predicament. His eyes looked sad to leave you and you felt the electricity shoot up. His muscular arms in the corner of you eyes it was like you could only see him. It was like your body controlled you as you leaned up towards him to place your lips against his. But the second they slotted together Changbin and Christopher’s broken face fell into your mind. It was like your body was in pain what was you doing. Juyeon thankfully didn't respond he looked dazed like a deer in the spotlight. But thankfully never responding further. Iciness in the atmosphere attacked the both of you into the silence. "I better go," he said after clearing his voice. With that he left you and Jubin in his apartment. Guilt, desire, need, want pumping through your veins as you slumped onto the sofa. You knew your feeling for Juyeon was out of control and you were at risk of hurting two amazing men like Juyeon hurt you. You were no different to Elle and Lulu who you despised. One look at your sleeping daughter you saw the confusing path ahead. You could take her and run, beg Christopher and Changbin to take you away. But at the same time you wanted to stay put, experience the family that biologically was Jubin’s. She stirred as you decided to put her in Juyeon’s bed so that she was comfortable while you waited for Changbin.

Laying next to her you closed your eyes imagining Juyeon sliding next to you holding his family in his warm arms engulfing you. You were then startled to the noise in the front room. By the giggling voices you could tell it was Sunwoo and Eric as you dashed from the bed to make your way to them. "For fuck sake Eric, everyone’s looking for you," you said seeing Eric holding a couple of drinks in good spirit in his hand. "What the fuck you doing here?" Sunwoo growled in your direction. Ignoring him you walked towards Eric who eyes widened at you nearing. "Elle’s in labour," you shot out watching his face pale. "She's scared you need to go to the hospital," you added as he looked like he could faint. "Eric," you said hands falling to his arms to gently shake them. "She really needs you, the baby's early, she’s terrified," you pleaded as his eyes snapped open. "What," he gasped like he was struggling to digest the information. "Juyeon’s with her," you said looking at Sunwoo who rolled his eyes. "And Of course you decided to chill out here didn't you," he said spitefully. "Man nows not the time shake your brother out of it instead of attacking me," you spat out as he clicked the roof of his mouth. "Eric I think we need to get to the hospital mate," Sunwoo said as Eric looked at him like a scared puppy. "It's ok deep breath I know it's scary but you really need to get it together because Elle is terrified," you said stroking your thumb along his shoulder for comfort. "What do I do," he looked at you with fear. "Just hold her hand, comfort her and support her, you can freak out once the baby’s here but not now," you said watching him take your words. "But I've drank, we've drank," Eric said worried. "Changbin’s on his way, I'm sure he’ll drop you to the hospital," you said picking up the phone. "Yeah that lackey likes following you don't he," Sunwoo snorted. "Shut up," you growled his way. "The man is a clear mug to be at your every whim," Sunwoo growled. "What is your issue?" You snapped turning to him. "Your brother and his wife have an emergency and your too busy bitching about shit that ain't nothing to do with you," you added as he chuckled in amusement. "Because Even now even all these years you're still a whore who pick up and chooses men as she pleases. Yet throws around the word player at the father of her own child," he sniggers amused that you look hurt at his words. "Your just jealous," you snapped back not able to fathom words to attack him. "You use to play him around with other men when you were at school and now you doing it with your daughter. Juyeon should take Jubin and run from you see how you like it," he hit out as you went to slap him but he caught your hand. "Sunwoo don't," Eric said in warning. "You're the player you're the one that makes those two mugs chase around after a child that you know has a dad already," Sunwoo spat with anger laced in his voice. "Sunwoo," Eric growled as Sunwoo ignored his younger brother. "Jubin should know her Uncle Juju is her father and not those two tweebs," he mocked as Eric back handed his hand into his hyung. "Jubin," Eric said even more paler as your eyes looked to him then the direction he was facing. Jubin was standing by the bedroom door looking confused. "Samchon Juju's my dad?" Her little confused voice hit the room as your heart broke into little pieces. "Eric get him out before I kill him," you growled towards Sunwoo. "Shit Y/N I'm sorry I didn't mean to," he said panicking. "No Jubby I didn't mean what I said I was being mean to your mummy that's all," Sunwoo said shooting towards your little girl. Her eyes looks towards you and it was like you couldn't lie to her anymore. "Samchon Juju is your daddy but so is Daddy and Daddy Binnie. Your lucky you have three daddies," you said as Sunwoo’s face paled even more looking behind you. Stood by the door was Changbin and Christopher.

Next part Player in denial

Full Masterlist

[sacrilegiious]

hi, my loves ! 4am but we're finally here, intro almost posted. i'm daisy ( she/her ) and this is my bby dawn. i've been playing her for a while now and i'm so excited to get to it again and see how she will interact with all of your lovely muses. dawn is my headstrong, always down to fight, antisocial girl - genuinely an all round asshole but with her heart in the right place i think ? i guess that judgment is yours to make. def looking forward to plotting w all of u okay byyyee ! &lt;;33

꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀shin ryujin.   twenty-one.   cis woman.   she/her.⠀⠀⠀⠀꒱        hold your f*** horses !   ’dawn'  soojin jeong   has just been spotted walking into revolution headquarters. they are best known for being the   drummer   in   rad   and have been signed with the label for   six months.   they share a lot of interesting things about life in the music industry on their social media, so make sure you don’t forget to follow them at   @fuckoffjake.  fans know them for being   ruthless   but i swear they’ve got a   protective   side as well. maybe that explains why they’re always associated with   sleepless nights spent under neon lights, fingers impatiently drumming on a desk, dark eyes that refuse to look away first.   stan twitter even voted them most likely to   overthrow the government.   we’ll see how they live up to that reputation.

basics.

name:  soojin “dawn” jeong.

nicknames:  u can try i guess.

gender:  cis woman

pronouns:  she/her.

age:  21.

date of birth:  march 23rd 2001.

astrological sign: aries

place of birth: seoul, sk

nationality: korean-american

ethnicity: korean

occupation:  drummer at rad / architecture student.

sexual & romantic orientation:  bisexual, biromatic.

longest relationship: like a month probs.

appearance.

height:  1.64m / 5′4″  (as i’m being told)

weight:  50kg / 110lbs.

hair colour:  naturally black (does like dying it though).

hair style:  rn short-ish, almost reaching her shoulders.

eye colour: brown.

clothing style:  tomboy meets goth witch. almost exclusively black.

tattoos:  has several. a little D and a moon on her left hand, a rythmic score on her right ribs, a little black cat on her hip.

piercings:  ear lobes & left ear helix.

defining features:  whisker dimples, mole under left eyebrow.

character.

positive traits:  ambitious, charismatic, intelligent, self-reliant, daring, witty.

negative traits:  controlling, haughty, choleric, abrasive, impatient, judgy.

likes:  rock music, cats, the city at dawn, cool architecture, hot chocolate, asmr.

dislikes:  people (especially cis men), planes, haunted houses, brussels sprouts.

skills & languages.

notable skills: drumming, drawing, good memory, pen / drum stick spinning.

secret talents: lock picking, horseback riding.

languages spoken: Korean, English, Japanese & a bit of French.

biography.

tw: v minor mention of violence

born as jeong soojin in seoul, her life has always been predetermined by her last name, her family. she was the first child of her rather prominent parents, alongside her twin brother and both of them grew up surrounded by wealth, learning a second language by the age they were four and a third one from age nine. generally, their parents tried their best to give them everything you were supposed to give a child in order for it to develop promisingly. if raising a child were similar to a math equation that is. the only thing that they were missing, that no money or good intentions could afford them, was privacy. being one of the children of the ceo of a successful real estate company and a prominent politician meant they were always somewhat in the eye of the public. not enough to constantly be of relevance to the media but enough for any missteps to find an audience. 

making mistakes was never an option. failure not in her vocabulary as she grew up and became the over-achiever her parents had always hoped for. she was on top of her class ever since starting school and later on became not only student body president in her high school but also picked up all the right hobbies. playing the violin, horseback riding, fencing - excelling in apparently everything she touched. all the success came with a price though, the rigorous self-discipline, the complete disregard of her actual nature. inside all she felt was emptiness and that emptiness was only replaced by burning, raging anger. when she was thirteen, her blood absolutely boiling with unbridled rage, she became violent towards a classmate of hers. an incident that didn’t cause a big scandal solely because once she got home, bloody fists and all, her parents immediately paid off both the parents of said classmate as well as the members of the press who had heard of the story. everything was kept under tight wraps but it was clear there was an issue, a problem, with the golden child. therefore, she was brought to therapy, diagnosed with anger management issues and recommended to pick up a hobby that might help her with her situation. among the provided examples was drumming, something soojin would have never been allowed previously but that soon became her favorite thing to do. 

in the end, graduating with stellar results was no issue, if one thing came relatively easy to her it was academic success. still, however, she felt empty inside. felt caged in this life she had never picked yet never really tried to fight either. that was until now, when she could finally convince her parents to let her study abroad. embellishing her arguments with how impressive it would look on her CV and how it would help both her cultural and language education, she was allowed to leave the country and therefore also her parents’ and the press’ watchful eyes. she started her bachelors in architecture at ucla, actually quite passionate about the subject but she also didn’t lose sight of another thing she felt passionate about: drumming. ever since she got to the us, she changed her name to dawn, affording herself further anonymity and has finally become her own person. style, chaotic flatshare, political views and all. together with, what would soon become her two closest friends, she created the band r.a.d. about three years ago.

for a long time they were a small underground group, playing feminist punk rock was after all not truly what would catapult you into a life of stardom, or at least that is what they thought. however, after over two years of playing a lot of dingey bars, one of their songs gained some notoriety on tik tok, becoming what you might call a feminine rage hymn. with that hit song under their belt, they were approached by several record labels. dawn never felt inclined to sign, for her life was easier this way. nobody to tell them what direction to take with their music, absolute freedom. she would simply bankroll them herself. but when revolution records approached them and considering her existence of living in between the two worlds might come with an expiry date, rad agreed to sign. it gave them a sense of financial security, while also preserving their artistic freedom. for revolution, they moved across the country where now dawn is finishing up her bachelors degree mostly online.  

headcanons.

character wise she quite controlling and reckless, which can be difficult for social interactions, especially since she is absolutely unwilling to compromise in her ideals or to admit defeat. has absolutely no issue with telling people just how wrong she thinks they are. on the other hand, she has quite the dry sense of humor, can be incredibly charming if she wishes so.

is having the time of her life ever since she joined rad, she is now dressing completely different than she used to at home.  she has also started expressing her own thoughts and opinions a lot... most would say too much.

very much a destroy the patriarchy, anti-capitalistic, eat the rich, acab kind of babe.

AH YES R.A.D. dawn is the youngest member of the band and their drummer. just like at uni, she’s known exclusively as dawn in this context bc she’s still kinda trying to avoid people back at home finding out eek (hello ms hannah montana lol) - esp since r.a.d.’s specialty is angry feminist punk rock.

studies architecture and actually rlly loves it? like she will def geek out about architecture if you give her the chance.

dawn of justice was funnily enough the name of her first horse back home, so do with that info as you will.

she has the kind of personality that makes her a natural leader even though? she is an introvert? so yeah, she does prefer her solitude most of the time but don’t expect her to keep her mouth shut in social situations.

she sleeps very very little, which only adds to her high-strung personality. most of those sleepless nights are either spent performing with the band or studying.

when speaking she does have a slight korean accent.

wanted connections (wip).

i do have this sort of fun ideak that idek what to call but basically your muse and dawn got into a loud argument outside the building and somebody took pictures or videos and posted them to twitter saying they were having a lover spat. actually, they probably don’t get along great and have been trying to vehemently deny it on their social media, both losing some not so nice words about the other but it was simply interpreted by the netizens as them lovingly teasing each other soo.... that’s where we’re at basically. 

enemies / antagonists   — basically, dawn does tend to be a rude lil dickish so she’d def have quite some people who dislike her. for example that could be somebody she made fun off bc she didn’t like their music (probably called it something like mushy fluff or whatever skdfjsdf).

former hook up   —   this was definitely just casual, especially on her part. clean, no strings attached fun. well, unless maybe it wasn’t for your muse ?!  that could be a fun option as well. open for all genders.

the rare friends   —   this is the exclusive group of people she likes to be friends with asdfahd. it just be like that but ya def hmu and give my antisocial gal some friendss. maybe somebody who she actually connected with through music, or perhaps architecture.

[kissablening]

“STRAIGHT” A — s.rj smau

synopsis: after a big argument with her dad, hwang yn decides to move back to korea with her mother and sister hwang yeji. Not knowing that the moment she got to the school, she would be grouped up with shin ryujin the schools top athlete for a school project.

pairings: college student!ryujin x college student! female reader

featuring: itzy , enhypen , kiss of life , somi , aespa , chaein purple kiss as yn’s faceclaim , + more!

genre: classmates to lovers , smau , text fic , wlw

status: ..in progress..

profiles: feminists | chaeryoungs sugar mommies | other

CHAPTERS

00. nyc ✈️ sk 01. dude shes my sister.. 02. new kid alert 🚨 04. ew no b!tch 05. i need a gf fr

TAGLIST OPEN: @eun-luv @haerinsloverr @fae-the-wanderer @cine-cult @pandafuriosa60 @ilamara @technicallyimportantsweets @7daysronnie @yeetaberry127 @linnnsworld