#{wwww angst}

[kenchann]

scratch

[qoldenskies]

ooh 11 and 22 for the writer asks?

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

it depends on the fic!! for coming undone and caged lungs i skipped around a bit (more so in caged lungs, i was all over the place, but in my defense it was 40+ scenes LMAO) but with my multichapters i try to write linearly to make sure things flow, and because i know i just need to brute force myself through the hard parts lmao

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

i dont actually pay enough attention to have a straightforward answer, my fics tend to vary wildly theme-wise when it comes to titles, even down to capitalization,,, i think there is only ONE fic that i have planned that uses the song title thing that's really common with other authors (where we went wrong!! it's planned to be the thing i'll be tackling after canary continuity, its a sep au!) but it was just a temporary title i got attached to BGHDHGH for CC its all just canary/bird themed, the oneshot after clipped wings is called open skies actually ...... itll be very fluffy. once i get there <3

[nayushikisses]

so today we’re thinking about more nayushiki angst, or about an au where nayuta never comes back after jumping off the rooftop and shiki has to live on for years afterwards just hating himself. for many reasons: for not being able to stop nayuta, for being dumb and never admitting to himself back then that he loved nayuta, for never telling nayuta how he actually felt about him. for throwing away his first love without realizing how precious and invaluable his relationship with nayuta was while it lasted.

euaghhh i need to stop thinking about them -.-;

[fragrantpines]

Why hello there! I saw your prompts open so if I may..May I humbly request Shredded Jerky and/or Peking Duck with the prompt rooibos tea?

Certainly! Shredded Jerky and Peking Duck accompanied by some rooibos tea coming right up!

(Link to prompt request/prompt list post)

Warnings: Suggestive (Shredded Jerky... it's jerky, what else is expected ww)

Rooibos tea; what’s their favourite thing to do with their s/o?

Shredded Jerky

▪︎ He loves having you watch his shadow puppet shows. They are his pride and joy, and having you in the crowd further motivates him to put on a brilliant show that will captivate your attention for the rest of the night

▪︎ Sometimes, he'll invite you to see one of his practice shows under the guise of “wanting to understand the audience better”. In reality, he wants to take as much of your time as possible, keep you by his side for just a little longer before you have to go back and fulfill your duties as the young master

“... At last, the mother and son reunite and live the rest of their days in tranquil peace. The end.”

The curtains on the puppet stage fall, breaking you out of your trance before your applauds fill the room. “What a touching story, I'm sure the people will love this story too!”

Shredded Jerky peeks out from the back of the stage with a small grin. “Of course, when have my shows ever disappointed anyone?”

“Pft, right.” You look at him with doubtful eyes yet couldn't bring yourself to doubt him fully. Amongst all of the shows you've seen, none of the audience ever leave disappointed, always discussing the show with smiles on their faces as they leave swiftly, excited to share today's story with their friends and families before dragging them to come see the next puppet show. It was heartwarming to see people enjoy your lover's work and seeing his proud expression right after never fails to fill your heart with a sense of joy as well.

Suddenly, a small tug on your sleeve pulls you away from your thoughts, making you cast your gaze downwards until your eyes spot a little shadow puppet standing right next to your hand. The moment it notices that your attention is on it, it makes a gleeful sound before flying next to your face, rubbing it's paper face against your cheek as if giving you a kiss.

“Well well, looks like this little one is especially happy with your compliments.” Shredded Jerky mused, taking a seat next to you before propping his arm up against the armrest comfortably. He stares at the puppet with part admiration and part jealousy, unsure on whether he should let it be or pull it away so that your attention directed towards him again. However, before he could decide, you laugh cheerfully, rubbing the little puppet with one finger and putting your other hand over his arm.

“Should I also praise the puppet master for inviting me to see such a wonderful show?” You asked teasingly, smiling from ear to ear.

Shredded Jerky smirked, not missing a beat as he captures your hand with his other hand before leaning next to your ear, whispering with a sly tone.

“I would be honored to hear more praises, but perhaps we should move to somewhere else before you start reciting them. I don't want to let anyone else hear you call my name with that lovely voice of yours.”

Peking Duck

▪︎ Much like Jerky, he likes having you by his side while he's working. A king must always be productive, and what better way to increase his productivity than to have his lover standing by his side supporting him?

▪︎ Actually, if you stare at him for long enough, he'll start getting flustered and ask if there's something on his face. If you reply no or don't say anything while continuing to stare at him, he'll try to find a way to break your gaze on him. Whether it be looking away, covering your eyes or distracting you, he'll come up with a million different ways to redirect your gaze to somewhere else

▪︎ .... Every way except directly asking you to stop (Because he actually enjoys the stares very much but is too embarassed to admit it so he just uses it as an excuse to get closer to you. Please don't tease him any further, he's going to become an overcooked Peking Duck if you continue)

“You're staring.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not... unless you would like to turn around and see for yourself?”

You rest leisurely on a coach behind Peking, watching endearingly as his ears were starting to turn into the same bright red shade of his hair under your unrelenting gaze.

Meanwhile, Peking didn't turn around nor say anything, resorting to trying to block out his surroundings in order to better concentrate on his work. However, he soon found it impossible as your gaze on his back was too powerful of a force to resist, making him putting his brush down as steadily as he can with shaking hands before turning to face you with a pout. “Love, I need to submit all this paperwork before tomorrow. If not, then the ducks might cause havoc in Kongsang again.”

You frown, clearly displeased. “But you've been working nonstop stop for the past few hours. It's not good to work so hard, especially when you've just returned from a long expedition.”

“I.....”

Peking averts his gaze, causing you to sigh underneath your breath. Instantly, you stand up and wrap your arms around him from behind the chair, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Come on, I think it's time to take a break. An afternoon nap won't hurt anyone.”

He wants to protest but as soon as he opens his mouth, all the tiredness that he had been suppressing overtakes his body in an instant. A loud yawn escapes his lips before he rubs his face against your cheek, murmuring in a soft tone. "Alright, just a small nap. You're not allowed to leave my side while I'm napping, okay?"

You chuckle before pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Your wish is my command, my dear king."

A faint laugh escapes his lips, his heart melting fondly underneath your touch. Swiftly, he pulls you back to the couch and lies on it with you, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist before closing his eyes peacefully.

This time, he won't leave you. Not now, not ever.

[vibbybee]

thinking abt how Prince would feel if they were ever forced to disband MKW

bc honestly I could see it happening in two different ways:

1.) they’d be adamant on letting Yuu know that their disbandment was inevitable from the start. This is assuming that Prince would be responsible for the disbandment, but not necessarily in a bad way? Idk, when it comes to Prince and relationships of any kind, they’re quick to move on, but not for “something better”. They just…move on when things feel right. MKW had a nice run? Prince is satisfied with the work they put in? Yuu is happy? Then…Prince’s job is done. Might as well call it quits while things are good, no?

2.) they’d have an adamant fear of moving on from MKW. this is what they’ve been pouring their heart and soul into, and now it has to end? (assuming that Prince is not the cause of the MKW disbandment, rather some external factors played a role). why? it’s not fair. this is the most fun they’ve ever had in their life! they were able to learn how to grow as a person, grow as a performer, grow as a partner. no..it doesn’t have to end! there’s gotta be some way to make things right! …right? they’d be in ruins if MKW disbanded. what is Prince left to do then? there’s a pattern, everything Prince loves will eventually crumble down into ruin…so what’s the point of anything?

[abyssmalice]

(oh god now im thinking about the minute differences in the 'verses' of my AU tonitoni, mainly her actual primary characterization vs her characterization in a duo-tartie verse.

tl;dr actual primary tonitoni characterization is much more heavily angsty and less cheerful than she lets on + a more grey harbingy tonitoni, a tonitoni in a duo-tartie verse has less angst to deal with and is actually genuinely cheerful at times i.e. a more lighthearted take on harbingy tonitoni.)

(both characterizations have her act as a moody troublemaker to hide her traumatized self. but the actual instigating traumas differ between the two -

the former has her brother die in front of her, then she dies herself, has to deal with being resurrected and not seeing her brother have the same opportunity, dealing with grief and mourning, and then there's the whole mess with dottore once she leaves the abyss and the consequent separation from her family.

the latter, on the other hand, has her brother still alive - she's separated from him for some time, and she still ends up dying and being revived, but he's ultimately fine and they leave the abyss together. what comes after is per muse, but that's the primary difference.

which thus changes the trauma that toni has and how she behaves as such. the latter results in her having massive anxiety, especially in regards to being separated and the wellbeing of her loved ones. she undoubtedly has nightmares about how she died. but—partly as a coping mechanism—she's mentally rewired to focus her nervous energies on others over herself, and any internal conflicts she really has has to deal with those others and her relationships with them. she also acts like a brat with some actual genuineness, bc she still has her big brother to spoil her lmao

meanwhile, in her primary complete-conga-train-of-horribleness verse - mentally and emotionally speaking, she has been through the utter wringer. she doesn't just have the anxiety and ptsd of the other verse, she also has serious depression and survivor's guilt. her true self is like a doll—she has no interests or inclinations or opinions, and the only real feeling or desire she seems to harbor is to be with her family and wishing her brother was alive. not even because she, herself, truly wants to, but because she feels like she has to make amends, and in regards to her family, feels like she's already troubled them enough with grief and loss; she can't add to their misery by being away, so she wants to go home and keep the number of not-there children to just one (ajax). there's just a very, very deepset resignation inside her, really.

but if she were to act like that, it would not only be very non-functional of her on a day to day basis, but it's just too vulnerable - so she puts up the strict act of a complete menace. as such, her childish behavior is a mix of 1) exaggeratedly acting like how she thinks she should to avoid deeper prying 2) some measure of resentment, that she can't have a real childhood (also present in a duo-tartie verse) 3) actual child behavior bc her mind is still half-stuck at age seven, when everything went to shit.

additional factors to their characterizations include -

her AU involves her becoming a harbinger under less than ideal circumstances - it's a difficult choice she's had to weigh, contributing to the beginning of a grey moral worldview and added to the strain of the mental and emotional traumas she's faced. in a duo-tartie verse though, the decision would be more (but not completely, bc its toni) voluntary, meaning the decision had a very minimal impact on her comparatively.

her AU also involves being experimented on and basically treated as less than human for a few years as a child - that definitely had a heavy impact on her, to say the least, contributing to a cynical viewpoint. but this event likely wouldn't occur in a duo-tartie verse by virtue of a protective big brother being around. and even if it did, i suspect it wouldn't be as severe as the "original".)

[tsvkomii5]

IvanTill Angst I made bc yes WWWW I love them (i might make more soon)

[gwaaaaar]

breaking my silence...

whoever told me the second half of death note was trash... YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONGGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 MELLO AND NEAR ARE WORTHY SUCCESSORS TO L YOURE JUST A STAN!!!!

near... sweet jesus baby they didnt deserve you !!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see how distinct he was despite people calling him "white haired L". LIKE hes a lot more cautious than L but isn't above being a sarcastic little shit and actively causing problems... i read a fan translation and he uses a lot of cuss words to refer to certain people he dislikes. I dont know if thats in the official translation as well but i do like the visual of this 7 yo saying "asshole" and "dickhead". I know hes 17-18 and this is average teenage behavior but gah hes so cute and moe and make little "vrooooom" noises when playing with his toys... 🥺 cant help but stan. Hes in his zone unbothered...

AND THE FACT HE CHALLENGES LIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE SO BLATANTLY... no mind games no time for light to make his next move just fuck it we ball. Also very fond of the scene where he drops hundred dollar bills off the SPK building. He's unpredictable just like Mello is but in a different way and its fascinating i love this guy. Also enjoy the fact that his flavor of justice is that he doesnt really have one hes just doing his job. The verbal beatdown he does at the end about how lights just a crazy serial killer... GET HIS ASS NEAR !!! Hes not pretentious and its just... its just good you know? L wasn't very pretentious but he does call himself justice sometimes and stuff along the like(?) Near drops all pretense... cant help but stan

Also really fond that he actually likes mello its just mello doesnt like him... I know canon never explicitly states their relationship with each other, like if its a brotherly relationship or not (altho isnt there some cain and abel parallels??? Not sure). But i really do see a siblinglike relationship between the two. Canon doesnt really put any angst on their relationship bc near doesnt care lolol, but the two do remind me of certain siblings that have a strained relationship because of the pressure put on one of them (or on both. Again fuck wammys house all my homies hate wammys AND WATARI!!! ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!) I really would love to see the two interact... and maybe just be happy by each other/pl. Because god it really terrible to see how much mello hates near and its not even nears fault :,). AND FUCK THE CHOCOLATE BAR HE EATS AT THE END TO HONOR MELLO???? STOPPPP IM GONNA CRY... near the man that you are... they dont deserve you baby...

And smello... mello mello mello... I've heard more positive things about him compared to near bc hes more "interesting" and i can see why people take that angle BUT. God they still undersell him so much??? I feel like hes one of the few characters to have a goal besides catching Kira (or not getting caught) because of his inferiority complex. I do not mean to undersell any of the other characters when i say this because theyre all very complex! They all have their driving goals and the like. Its just that i argue that Mello's is more persistent and that it is not centered around the conflict but rather himself. Even if he caught Kira perhaps he would still never be happy with himself because Near is always "going to be better" because of the shit he went through in wammys. Theres a whole discussion to be had abt the ethics of wammys house... but ill save that for another post wwww.

Mello is also someone that isnt pretentious about his idea of justice bc hes a fucking criminal. (BTW i love the two opposing sides of the successors... one that tries falling within the law but still doesnt give a shit and the other that doesnt give any shits at all and eventually helps the law.) And its so... I LOVE YOU RUTHLESS CHARACTERS I LOVE YOU CHARACTERS THAT STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

And the thing is ... Mello does have his own sense of justice because its not as if he sacrifices innocent bystanders to get what he wants he just does what is necessary. LIKE ofc its fucked up that he kidnapped sayu (and traumatized her...), takada (and the stripping... but at least she got a blanket:,) honestly tho id blame that on the misogyny of the authors) and the director of the police im not about to be a mello apologist (yes i am/j). But a. He probably knew no one was going to get hurt in the first place because hes just that damn confident. b. His remorse for matt and soichiros deaths show that he doesnt intend on sacrificing anyone and when things go astray it saddens him a little. And c. THE FACT HE PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE AND STILL SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO HELP NEAR... near would "win" but mello prioritized putting kira behind bars and while i cant guess his motive, from my end it does seem like in extension he prioritized doing the right thing, which would be to sacrifice his life and pride to help near get the final piece to catch mikami... wow what a man im so deathly ill

After typing all this, i must say... is L really as complex as years of DN fans have said?? I think im about to get crucified for this opinion, but legitimately is he??? I think he is complex most certainly just... maybe not as much as others have said... i might just be missing details about his past + lore from external media so maybe thats why i have this opinion. But i feel like the successors *are* toe to toe with him despite their split screen time... idk tho :3 this is just my thoughts meow

[bloos-bloo]

Ough ,, yeah no i understand the pain in designing goat actually- if hes related to any of the performers—in regards to his sister—he could carry some of her elements or little to none wwww i wonder if its more like a search party hes putting up or genuinely unaware of the circus happenings

Either way ,im so excited to see your goat in toybox c: 💥💥💥💥💥gGRRRAAHH🗣🗣

Also i hope youre faring welltoo🤲🤲🤲 biting you biting you /aff

IM DOING GOOD! :D I’m not as stressed anymore so love that for me- lmaoooo- WERE THRIVING!!

His design is slowly coming together 🫡 I have an idea but I just don’t like how he looks in my style?? Which is so odd- I’m figuring it out-

BUT SJDBISBDJDBDHD AAAA IM EXCITED TO FINALLY GET THIS AU GOING- I WANNA TRY DOING COMICS- IM THINKING OF DOING EITHER LESHY OR KALLAMAR FOR THE NEXT ONE- Heket has some angst- but she’s just harder to think-

[luke-life]

replying to your tags bc :3 thank you for your thoughts they're tasty and im chewing on them

I didn't think too hard but omg yes if he's a delivery/cargo escort boy then he can reasonably meet xingqiu, delivering his family's silk shipments or smth, or moving some books from xingqiu's random warehouse in qingce lolllll i also agree they'd have similar food prefs !! i think gaming would enjoy xingqiu's crystal shrimp dumplings haha he seems the type to like fresher dishes that have less like heavy oil/seasoning

about your proposal of chongyun angst 👀 wwww if you care to elaborate i'm looking very hard, i need to see our boy put in Situations!! i wonder if they meet... would cy feel deficient seeing gaming get along so well w everyone whereas he has to try so hard to keep his condition under control which limits how much he can get excited n stuff T_T I hope gaming can help him w it though </3 after all they can be boyfailures together (/JJJJJJJJ) with gaming's rather... unsuccessful lion dance monetization and chongyun's problems with exorcisms

it just with how Ga-Ming is described it sounds very similar ,obviously I would rather they be friends first but if not the angst please.

So to add on ap, chongyun’s Yang state has a variation of responses, he has tame ones like in the poetry event those are fine. It’s the chaotic ones that are a problem “he chases people around, passed out,danced on top of furniture, broken furniture, and gotten injured and he sometimes doesn’t even remember himself being in Yang state.

and then when all is said and done he still get’s told that he’s entertainment(a sign in wangshu btw), that his Yang state is the real him and the fact that his friends always seem to be giving him chilis because they think that his Yang side is better for him.

Then here comes Ga-Ming he’s good at fighting , he can dance and perform all he wants, he’s happy and cheerful without consequences, he uses a claymore, he admires Xiao as well, he’s probably friends with his own friends.

a big slap in the face that tells him “ hey, you know that Yang side of you that causes you a lot of trouble personally, yeah well seems that they prefer you that way” and boom the angst

Now I obviously I don’t think chongyun’s friends are *that mean or that they even have bad intentions but it’s always personally bothered me the language they use around him and about him idk it always feels insensitive. Not only that but the disregard of his own feelings and boundaries always bothered me. Doesn’t help that his Yang and anything related to chilis is meant for jokes. But c’mon Xiangling’s job is literally a chef her whole job is meant to be making food, she can scold people for being picky but she sometimes puts chilis in her friends food even though he can pass out like where’s the logic. At least she makes him his popsicles. this includes hu Tao also like she is a prankster and all but she takes her job seriously and one of the things she has to do is keep the balance of yin and Yang so like you’d think she’d be like “hey my friend having a pure Yang body is probably not a good thing but nah let’s prank him even though he clearly doesn’t like)

like c’mon he’s just asking for no chilis in his food it’s not hard

anyway that’s my idea basically it can also happen the opposite way with Ga-Ming being a friend who does respect his boundaries(please just one friend) and still finds way to include him in events without triggering his Yang so Chongyun hangs out with him which leads to other’s self reflection. so yeah that’s all I have.

thank you for listening.

[pointedly-foolish]

tell me about your OC an GO!

helppppppppppp when you just ask me like this ,, i suddenly forget everything i know about my own prefect....

well..... first of, shameless plug: i made a sideblog where i post more stuff ("lore") about my prefect (and rb art/fics from other ppl). for now i just have the profile done but one of these days i plan on making like a post on relationships, backgrounds etc mayb even fake card illustrations n voicelines 😳😳

well... what is there to say about him? he's pretty "plain". i guess i can give you a lil peep behind the curtains?

name

to distinguish yuu from other prefects or even the canon (in-game) mc in conversation, i call him yuu stranger, in reference to the stranger (entity) from the magnus archive.

because yuu, despite being super unremarkable and indistinguishable in a crowd, is a little freak that induces the sense of uncanny valley in ppl from twst.

stranger is not his surname (although the mistake is easy to make when you see "yuu stranger" out of context).

it's only later that i started called him yuu h., with h. being the initial of his surname.

yuu h. is an alias.

backstory

saw a theory going around, though i didn't save it so i can't really attribute it to a person, but it mentions something about mc having an ancestor who came from twisted wonderland. so it gave me an idea for my own prefect.

not sure if it's something i'll stick with, but i had a thought of yuu having some great-great-great-etc-grandparent who's from twst who got isekai'd to the real world (?).

because of this, yuu has situs inversus (his organs are positioned in a mirror image of normal human anatomy (they're inverted)).

but after arriving in twst, his organs are the right way around like everyone else.

he inherited an old shell necklace from his family, which used to belong to the ancestor who was from twst. you could hear the crashing of waves from it, but since coming to twst, the shell started playing soft music.

i toy with the idea that the yuu-ancestor (magicless human from the great 7 era) was romantically involved with a mermaid (back when it was deeply taboo and animosity between the species was high).

wouldn't it be great angst to imagine the yuu-ancestor was suddenly isekai'd, and that mermaid sat by their secret meeting place waiting for them forever?

also, trivia from the aforementioned profile bcause idk what else to say wwwww

anyway ! thanks for asking hahaa it was nice getting to ramble about my oc 😂

(i kinda want to reblog oc ask games on my blog but hngggg convinced it'll flop bcause 😂 i don't nearly have enough clout to have ppl start being interested in my oc wwww)

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 6th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima+. Spoilers beware

Season 1 | Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 | Ep. 5

LMFAOOO they look so unimpressed i love it!! even ramuda looks so serious wwww Fling Posse's nail in the coffin of gentaro just straight up reading during the gag and Dice just falling asleep is pure gold

the rivalry is so strong i adore MDC, their comedic potential is off the charts

Ooooo flashback!

eyyy his life is not fair jacket is beautiful its such a hack

awww they're right softies huh.

i assume the narrative will be that they are hypnotized into doing TBH's will or they were unsatisfied with something so bad that they defected

EYYY squirt gun lmfaoooooo

dude his nicotine withdrawal is gonna just get worse www

look at jyuto being a baddass and only reading through skimming

LMFAO they're acting like tourists going to famous places and sightseeing their fill

oh my god they're FP fans and cosplayers

I'm getting second hand embarrassment from them www for once i agree with ramuda they're kinda annoying

LMFAO Bustedddddddddd

oooohhh so they don't have to be directly there to hypnotize people, interesting and opens up a lot more possibilities with who is possibly under their influence

OH FUCK HE'S ONE OF THE CLONES????

Ramuda angst is always top tier, the existentialism!

OH damnnnn if he is someone who isn't a fake, that would be ruthless.

and here comes the TBH crew

Theres some seriously supernatural stuff going on. or is it because FakePosse have been brainwashed so much that its another illusion that only they are seeing

OH DAMNNNNN clone battle and ofc ramuda is the loser. he don't got much more candy and is on borrowed time

eh i think The Loneliness, Tears, and Hope of a Puppet did it better with their depictions of their trio dynamic. also because this takes place between season 2 and 3, its unclear for anime onlys if Gentaro and Dice know that Ramuda is a clone

Generally i do think that the voice dramas have much better writing than the rushed pacing of the anime

the paper is full of the character 愛 which is the character that Rabuta uses in his name

that gentaro animation of him floating up onto the banister looks a little janky ngl

Dice's 777 underwear wwwww

casual threats is beautiful i adore the stupid MCD and Naughty Busters bickering, they're just kids no matter what amaguni says. they're silly children

OH FUCK THAT WAS SICK, sasara just casually rebuffing samatoki's threat while kuko throws in his own religious. For those who don't know nenbutsu is basically like prayer but its for the intent of being mindful of Buddha, hence the name. to outsiders it sounds more like punishment tbh

oooo flashyyy still makes me wonder if they're all under like some sort of mass hypnosis. TBH crew has only appeared that way twice and all in this episode

gods i miss FP's silly fashion sense. very summery jazz ED with the sax as the main instrument and latin beats. i like the chill trendy vibes going on with it

[qoldenskies]

Babagril I adore clipped wings and you are feeding my insatiable hunger for heavy angst and impeccable writing but I am a littol concerned about how fast you're putting chapters out recently. I know they've been on the shorter side compared to the beginning but plase don't push yourself too hard okies? We can wait, I just don't want you getting burnt out or something :(

Also you are so meanies to us why must Donnie constantly go through the horrors its the fic ive always craved and I am sobbing, thank youuu

hey hey im fine!! i should probably clarify that im genuinely just a fast writer and im. yknow. an unemployed 18 year old who doesnt have much to do other than stuff like this, and im fed and moved along by all the praise and kindness. you dont have to worry about me!! honestly a HUGE thing im aiming for while writing CW is the joy of getting to complete something, i actually crank these chapters out in like a sitting if im in a good mood LOL (theyre kind of scrappy, but im trying to combat my perfectionism. pretty much every time ive said im gonna take a bit i find myself too excited to, ive got a big hyperfixation on CC at the moment and all of the good reception has gotten me even more hyped bghdghfh. you have NO idea how much i stare at the fanart you guys have made for me ily....). for my next project i plan on writing a lot in advance and pacing myself better (especially because i want to do longer chapters for it), but for CW im happy to just speed through!!

^^ helped along by the fact that im trying to avoid making chapters long for the sake of it now. i dont really have a goal in mind for wordcount with this next set, because i think i want to think in what progresses more than that

and thank you!! teehee the thing i want to move to next is so much sillier but i do enjoy taking a real good dip into The Horrors....... not sure where i'll be going after wwww but its planned to be a HUGE undertaking anyway. but i will probably be returning to the horrors. and maybe CVD ive missed her my love

[nayushikisses]

ⵓ paradox live × your turn to die au notes masterpost . . .

-- of course paralive doesn't have enough angst, so why not put them in a death game ?? ^^ www

-- this isn't really developed yet , but i might as well track my thoughts for this here . . . please don't call me stupid for just having nonsensical thoughts here

-- first characters i'll be covering are shiki, ryu, kei, rokuta, nayuta, and itsuki ! and their relationships to each other throughout the story ! more will be added with time !! as i figure out where the story should be taken ... www

shiki / nayuta

shiki is the participant alongside nayuta nayuta and was paired with him during the first trial. they have the same trial as sara and joe with the lantern and the key, nayuta trusts shiki with the key and tells shiki to use it on himself because he trusts that shiki will be able to save both of them. except, shiki panics (sort of like kanna does) and frees himself but his emotions are running too fast for him to think correctly so he has to watch nayuta die/get crushed by the bed. this leaves him understandably shaken, so he passes out.

then shiki awakes with everyone else in the main room, and he's having a panic attack wwww as everyone struggles with their surroundings, but then things start getting in order once (placeholder) takes charge. (who in the cast would be a leader figure...)

shiki continues through the game. because, after the first trial ends, he's left alone and depressed, completely shut out from what's happening in a way after watching his best friend(lover?) die in front of him because of his mistake. so, for the first while during the equivalent of chap. 1, he's kind of like kanna in that he sticks back and is too overwhelmed and depressed to do anything. understandable ...

at the same time, Kanata is fiercely fighting to find nayuta. he and Kanata were "abducted" at the same time so he knows that he's there, but he hasn't seen him since before the first trial when they got separated, he's nowhere to be seen… when shiki first sees him in the room after the first trial and everyone meets for the first time, he panicked more and ran away from Kanata because he could tell he was related to nayuta/inferred that this was the Kanata he had heard so much about, but has been too terrified to say anything.. i mean, he's basically mute for a long while, so he hasn't told kanata how nayuta died. but then...

however, this i know will happen: some time into exploring, sort of like how they find alice, they'll find nayuta. except, nayuta wasn't hiding, he just comes back all of a sudden, saying he got lost or something or trapped in a room until they found him, and understandably shiki starts panicking again because WHAT IS NAYUTA DOING BACK HERE??!!?!?!? i thought i … let him die…

but as nayuta passes him by, just clipping his shoulder and not even looking at shiki for more than half a second, shiki realizes something is off… he calls out to nayuta, and cozmez turns to him all suspicious and everything. things get intense for a moment cause then Kanata accuses shiki of being with the bad guys for acting like he knows nayuta/recognizes him, shiki panics more and falls on his knees and starts panicking again, but then the "leader" (placeholder i mentioned earlier) of everyone helps calm things down.

of course, it's only a dummy of nayuta that's here, which explains why he doesn't remember shiki… the person who made the nayuta dummy wasn't aware of nayuta and shiki's relationship, so they didn't include that in its memory…

i'll talk more about ryu later, but he is introduced way back here... let's recap... shiki has been abducted, watched his best friend die and blamed himself for it, now seen him suddenly come back to life, and then has been completely ignored by him and is not remembered, all in mere hours...? shiki is under a lot of anguish right now... it'd be good if he had someone to help him get back up on his feet, so...

ryu / shiki

ryu is another participant !! do you remember how in the fate drama track, ryu talks about the older brother ("Brother") that helped him flee the facility, but died? i want to incoroporate that character into this story too: some person who ryu-kun knew beforehand, is who he got paired with in the first trial, and he dies as he let's ryu go/saves him, in a way.

that's a subject i need to develop more, but you get the idea... this will shape ryu's mindset into feeling afraid of bringing misfortune to those around him later on in the story, but that's a discussion for another time...

anyways, right from the get-go ryu and shiki are getting to know each other because once shiki first starts panicking in the room immediately following the first trial, someone else/another random particpant asks ryu to stay and watch shiki while the rest of the people explore, like how sara stayed to watch kanna...

at first, shiki is really averse to talking to anyone, and ryu's extraversion scares him... but let's say that like, saimon or someone else, at the very beginning of the story gives shiki the responsibility of looking after ryu at first, and then ryu just sticks with it the rest of the way...

shiki is uneasy at first, surprised at this stranger's ability to act upbeat in even this sort of situation, and he even has a brief thought "what if he is with the people who have abducted us..?" can you blame him, he's gone through so much already...

but, as the story progresses, the two form a really really strong bond, and shiki relies heavily on ryu in helping stabalize himself after everything that happened . the big shift is when nayuta comes back as a dummy before the first trial, and shiki feels even worse after that when he's not remembered ... but ryu stays with him since they've been searching the facilities together , and he gives shiki a few cryptid words of advice that get shiki starting to feel better and start to try and become less depressed and more resilient (like the scene from the gif above where ryu says "if you only look at the things you want to see, you're gonna miss everything. Ghosts are only scary because you can't see them properly.)

ryu becomes his rock , in a way , his motivation to stay strong .

some ways into the story the two are almost inseperable www because shiki is with him all the time .... let my ryushiki heart be happy here again .

you know how i mentioned that at first, shiki had the brief fear "what if this guy (ryu) is with the enemy..?" well, during the first or second main game, people start throwing suspicions at ryu. saying things like he's acting strange or something. and since it's the main game, shiki is feeling really nervous and sick again, he hasn't said anything since it started, and in general he hasn't spoken much with the others, but...

once people start saying that ryu is suspicious, shiki finally finds the courage to speak up in front of everyone with confidence. he tells everyone that ryu is trustworthy, tells everyone how ryu helped him perservere, etc...

everyone has seen how reclusive and shy shiki has been, so to see him speak up for the first time so confidently really sends the message to everyone that if shiki says ryu can be trusted, then he really can be trusted... and so their bond grows !! there is more to their relationship that will be continued in the later parts of the story, like how ryu feels about the nayuta situation with shiki, but that will be further below !!!

to be continued for them....

kei / rokuta

kei and rokuta were paired together during the first trial, because obviously they're siblings you know… except, somehow, during this trial, rokuta either hits his head or something happens to make him lose his memory of kei (maybe rationalize it with asunaro medical logic or something? www…). so, the two make it out alive together and wake up in the main room with everyone else. kei wakes up first, though, and of course his immediate thought is to rush over to rokuta and wake him up, but then rokuta is like "eh? who are you?" and before they can continue, everyone else starts forming together and talking so things are interrupted

now, i can't decide… should kei tell rokuta that he's his brother right away, or should he be afraid and not say anything until later on like during the first main game…? this is something i'm not sure of…

because 1. he could tell rokuta right away "i'm your brother", and he spends the duration of the story by rokuta's side... it would also help make sense with the "kei-chan" thing , like how in canon rokuta has trouble seeing the reality of kei actually being his brother at first.

or, 2. kei holds off from telling him, and watches over him from the background like a guardian angel, while rokuta becomes more close with itsuki, another participant ...?

and also, should kei or rokuta be the sacrifice in the first trial…? i'm not sure… see, there's different ways it can go...

possible option #1: rokuta

rokuta is the sacrifice for the first trial and he tries to act nonchalant about it because he doesn't want to worry kei-chan, since he's been so nice to him... in the event that i decide kei has already told rokuta he's his brother, he *really* doesn't want kei to worry, because he feels bad enough that he can't remember kei as his brother, so he doesn't want kei to find out he's the sacrifice and become even more distressed...

so, he tries to hide it and succeeds, somebody is voted off and then he's revealed as the sacrifice so he'll die too, and of course kei is really devastated...

their relationship would be sort of like joe and sara's, in a way.. this would have a scene similar to joe and sara's final scene and kei would be clicking the button like sara did. i feel like this path doesn't work as well cause i don't know what kei would do from here on out... losing his brother would make him lose all motivation... he'd be like sara, having hallucinations, but i can't see how he'd move on from that if he did lose rokuta ;;

possible option #2: kei

kei is the sacrifice and maybe he swaps cards with someone just to get it or something wwww... he's a christ figure you know, it'd make sense for him to die this way... i think. his plan is to escape with rokuta... he wants to get the sacrifice so he can get the most votes and then pick rokuta as the person to escape with.

would kei do that...? i don't know... at this point in time he doesn't know itsuki so there's some development he hasn't had yet... the only thing in his life at this point is his brother, so i think he'd want to do it...

if somone think it doesn't make sense for him to want, then i could just say he changes his mind on it once he starts to get to know itsuki and bond more with the others... he's less averse to letting them all die just for him and rokuta... i don't know...

anyways, kei still just wants the sacrifice card so he can guarantee rokuta's safety, so let's say he manages to get the sacrifice card, and so, kei dies during the first trial...

rokuta is still super sad, because kind of like how he has that scene playing the piano where the reality sets in that kei-chan really is his brother, during the main game he has this realization but it's too late... rokuta has to watch kei-chan die, even if kei is sadly smiling at the end... he's sad that rokuta has to stay in such a dangerous place, but he just wanted to have his last sight be rokuta alive, so he dies at least able to say that... and entrusts itsuki with taking care of rokuta in his abscence ;; for a reason yet to be established, itsuki has developed an intense trust for kei, and so itsuki becomes shouldered with the "responsibility" of caring for rokuta in the next part of the game, which is a whole thing to think about on its own later...

how would rokuta handle this...?

ryu / itsuki

i feel like ryu and itsuki would get paired together in their first trial because they were alter trigger kids together. maybe they don't learn this until like the story equivalent of ch. 3 or something, but eventually they figure out they have some common origin, and that's why they were paired together…

i need to figure out more of the specifics on this, because this will be a part of the bigger lore, but just know , ryu and itsuki (and rokuta) will be revealed to be connected in some way that has to do with why each person was chosen as a participant . (figure this out later asap, mallow... if anyone can help with the lore please feel free to say wwww)

ryu / shiki cont.

i've already said that either rokuta and kei will probably be one of the ones to die in the first main game , but i still need to figure out who gets the most votes and dies ... but other than that , i have some more notes on how ryu and shiki's relationship will develop more after the first main game

even though like i said earlier, ryu and shiki will bond and become close to each other throughout the story, shiki is still anxious and preoccupied thinking about nayuta and how he's somehow back. this is priority in shiki's mind, not ryu.

(it might sound otherwise with the way i'm writing things but that's just because i haven't gotten around to writing abt nayushiki yet.. and ryushiki ramblings come naturally to me too because i <3 them)

but anyways -- another thing that will be a part of the story is how later on after the first main game and as shiki and nayuta interact more/shiki starts trying to figure out why nayuta lost his memories, ryu will start to also care deeply about shiki

especially like how i said before, during the first main game, shiki pulled through and saved ryu from suspicions by validating ryu's innocence, that helped strengthen ryu and shiki's bond together, since ryu was surprised that shiki believed so strongly in him, even though they just met during this whole death game. it made ryu happy that shiki said during the first main game "ryu might act different, but he's not a bad person, i trust him..." etc.

and so... my absolute favorite thing to incorporate into any paralive scenario... unrequited ryushiki

and when i say that, it doesn't even necessarily have to be romantic if you don't want it to be. it's just, ryu forms an attachment to shiki. it's understandable, considering the fact that they're all literally trapped in a death game www ;;

so a part of the story i'd like to focus on as well is how ryu feels watching shiki. at the beginning, shiki was afraid and isolated from everyone, but eventually ryu helped encourage him to become more confident, prompting shiki to work harder with everyone at escaping and more specifically, trying to figure out how nayuta came back and what's going on with him because like i said, nayuta is still his "priority." they've known each other since before the death game, after all.

but ryu watches shiki become so focused on nayuta and everything, that, he feels the pain of unrequited "love." (quotation marks in case you don't want to think of it as romantic love or whatever !! >.<;;) shiki was the person who stood up for ryu during the main game and he cares about shiki, but instead ryu has to watch shiki put all his focus and attention onto nayuta... ryu's feelings for shiki are unrequited, but he has to ignore it because he knows that there's more to shiki and nayuta's situation than meets the eyes (especially after shiki confesses to ryu how nayuta actually died in the first trial.)

at the same time, you remember how in the fate drama track ryu mentions how he's afraid that "the people who are kind to him will only end up getting hurt?" ryu still feels that way about shiki, as well as saimon and the other particpants he's bonded with. especially after what happened in ryu's first trial, he still has that inner turmoil to deal with for a while. it comes to a peak during a scene later on that i've yet to write about ;;

to be continued !! ^^

[sunalearnschinese]

Part 8 Reading erha 二哈和他的白猫师尊 + learning Chinese

🕯️🏺 Salutations blog ⚱️🕯️

I climbed Sisheng Peak today where is Chu Wanning at?? HELLOO.. anyone THERE ? -There- - th e re- (echo) hm... Maybe he went on holiday?

Ok maybe I'll just translate till he is back ._.

(Wanning was actually gone on holiday)

TAGS: Xianxia, Rebirth, Action, Conspiracy, Angst, 1?v1 HE, NSFW 

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

(part 1) 那狗灰白相见，额上三簇火，有点像狼。但只有瓜那么大，长得也瓜头瓜脑的, 滚胖浑圆，(part 2)偏还觉得自己很威风，满大殿疯跑，几次想爬上高高的台阶，去看清那好整以暇坐在帝位上的人，但因腿实在太短，皆以失败告终。

The puppy had a coat of whitish grey, three slashes of flames upon its forehead, kind of like a wolf. But, it was only as big as a melon, and looked kind of stupid, chubby and round.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Vocabulary:

1. 灰 - grey/ ash - huī

2. 白 - white - bái

3. 相见 - to meet/ to see each other - xiāng jiàn

Is used here to describe how the gray and white colors come together on the dog.

Includes character 相 (related to) from before.

4. 额 - forehead - é

5. 簇 - a bunch - cù

三簇火" (sān cù huǒ) means "three tufts of fur" but uses the metaphor of fire to describe their appearance.

6. 有点像 - a little bit like - yǒu diǎn xiàng

有点 means "a little" or "a bit" but when placed infront of an adjective , it gives a sense of dissatisfaction or negative impression from the speaker

像 - like/ such as/ appearance

狼 - wolf - láng 🐺

7. 只有 - only - zhǐ yǒu

8. 瓜 - melon - guā

9. 那么 - comparative structure ( for the size) - guā nàme

10. 长得 - to grow/ appear - zhǎng dé

11. 脑 - brain - nǎo

12. 滚 - to roll - gǔn

Describes the movement of the dog.

13. 胖 - chubby - pàng

Describes the dog's physical appearance.

14. 浑圆 - round - hún yuán

Emphasizes the shape of the dog wwww

Doggo I love you even if you're like a watermelon ok 🐕

Practice:

Wuayy I got some notes to show! Sorry they are so messy and probably in ugly handwriting but when I'm practicing memorising at 11pm I prioritise getting the character associated with the correct meaning so I forget to focus on the overall appearance :')

[zaruba-needslove]

nope nope nope... i don't want to hear more about the Sakurai Parental Units, Rider has already dealt that entire clan a bad card, nope... nope nope.... (inb4 Keiwa's or Sara's descendants becomes a time anomaly)

Let's go to something awesome... any headcanons as to why Keiwa himself, is pretty good at fighting? Like he was able to adapt to fighting like almost immediately, everyone seemed to have struggled at first.

Dapaan doesn't count, considering his proclivities :p

😂😂😂😂

/patspats

All right... I'll be merciful wwww we'll take a break from angst stuff 😃

Tho tbh... atm my hc was still in bit and pieces...

Like 1. Kei-chan had a favourite Ninja show when he used to be a kid... which made him wanna be a ninja.

2. The tv show being a cross between Ultraman Ace x Tonosaman/Steel Samurai (from Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney) - Reason being Ninja Nanja/Jammin' Ninja character look so cool and Ace's/Hokuto's speech from the last ep abt 'caring for the weak, helping each other etc never losing those feelings no matter how many times you're betrayed' was very Keiwa-centric. (also would be interesting to reimagine Ultraman A series as a ninja toku show)

3. Keiwa's parents enrolled him into karate class... cos ya... some1 insisted abt wanting to become a ninja and it's hard trying to keep a hyperactive kid to behave at home w/out kid trying to copy a back flip jump he saw on tv 😃

4. Post sad event we dun wanna talk about - Keiwa end up in bad crowd, getting into constant fights... but then gets wake up call when seeing Sara secretly cry

5. Joined a charity org and volunteered at random orphanages, once a while cheer kids by taking part in hero stage shows - but yeah the fights are make-belief (and cartoonish) which was why he kinda hesitate at first about fighting monsters fr

6. Slightly embarassed at how rusty his skills had been, Kei-chan secretly went to retake some lessons...

This sounds so lame wwww