#{(srsly you've all been so wonderful)}

[sickuma]

ORPHIC (2) — A Simon Riley fic.

❱ This is the last part of HIRAETH ! I don't want to drag it any longer than this. It's so much fun writing this and exploring more words to add to my vocab! Everyone's been nice (except when they give me their therapy bills) I love you guys srsly, You make writing so much more fun <3

I should have gotten this done HOURS ago, but I had to do stuff and just finished working out T-T but hey, writing block isn't killing me rn.

ꜝ？This fic may contain heavy topics such as death, depression and melt-downs, if any of those are not to your liking. Please do so exit the fic. Angst warning!

➴ SYNOPSIS — Ghost mourns of what's lost; reminiscing of the memories, apologizing, begging for you to hear his desperation for your presence as he sat Infront of your tombstone.

QUERENCIA — (n.) A place from which a one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.

“Relationships in the military,”

He spoke, pausing to stare at your eyes. Searching for hesitance,

“They tend to be tragic.”

“But we’ll be together, no?”

“look , kid, it's not as easy as it sounds—”

“Do you feel the same way?”

You cut him off, not giving him the chance to speak. Catching ‘the’ simon ghost riley off guard, “Yes.” he breathes out.

“Then I don't see the problem, lieutenant, I love you, you love me. That's what barney said.”

He stares at the void, remembering yet again another memory he kept special in his heart. He wondered if you had not pursued him at that exact moment. Would he still feel the raw pain that plagued his heart now? Would it still hurt all the same?

If you hadn't stubbornly shown him how determined and real your love for him was, would he still be in this position, dreading every day that comes knowing the person he needs the most was taken from him.

throwing his gear onto the side. Making his way back to his quarters without giving anyone a second glance,

Ever since you've been gone, the base has been awfully tense. The rest understood his situation, trying their best to be there for him, all while attending to their own duties. The past few weeks had been the hardest, They could tell Ghost had been on edge.

He’d only speak to them if it's necessary, otherwise he’d be kept to himself. As if the past had repeated itself, there appeared a gap between his friends and him. He was mourning, and he plans to keep mourning,

If that means having you on his mind,

Then he’ll mourn forever.

“Ghost?”

Price’s eyes widened at the sight of Ghost, 

It’s the first month since you've passed away and the rest of the team planned to pay you a visit to show respect and also let you know how missed you are, not just by them, but also by Ghost who seemed to have shut his whole world out.

He saw how Ghost shown a tough facade when he would hear him call for her,

At night, when everyone slept, Ghost cried and wept for you to come back. Begging aimlessly for your return,

Begging endlessly to feel your arms around him again.

Price didn't expect him to be joining them. He hadn't been. The team visited your resting place a couple of times before, he’d invite him but he’ll make up reasons not to go. Price figured he still hasn't accepted that's where your body lays,

The ride to their destination felt almost eerie, the tension leading the hour long drive. Nobody dared to speak, not a single word.

Ghost’s mind resides elsewhere, watching the scenery they drove past. Chest heaving up and down as he struggles to fathom that he’d finally visit you, 

No—he was more occupied with thinking about how it’s only been a month.

It felt longer than that. It felt longer than his training days. He felt more exhausted, more agitated, and more angry. He resents every breathing thing he comes across to,

He knew it sounded cruel, but why do they deserve to live and you don't? You have been the kindest, and yet you were taken first. He couldn't understand,

As a soldier he’d lost multiple comrades, having to face funerals—visit the cemetery, and deal with death itself. Though yours felt unreal,

It felt as if his bones were crushed. He knew how pathetic it seemed, clinging onto someone who's never coming back, but he'd rather cling onto the past if it means having to hold you close to his heart forever, where you belonged.

、 

Everyone got out of the car,

Everyone but him.

Price sighed, not planning to pry. If his breath felt shallow just by being here, he could only imagine what Ghost felt at this moment, considering it was his first time to ever be here.

A few minutes passed, and the three sat quietly at first until soap had cracked a dad joke, lifting the atmosphere just a little bit. They spoke as if you were there, sitting with them, price would constantly glace at Ghost, who sat quietly in the car. He wondered what ran through his mind.

“We should give him his own time to talk to [name].” Price groaned as he stretched when he stood up, the two following closely behind him. “He needs this.”

Ghosts' eyes caught them approaching. He felt his stomach sink. He knew he planned to wait until they finished before he took his turn as he expected himself to break down and shed tears. He didn't want them to see that. And yet he still felt his heart beat faster when they came back,

Price threw him a small smile, a smile of empathy.

As if that's his cue, he jumped out of the car. Taking slow strides towards ‘your’ direction. He never thought he could ever despise a cemetery so much in his life,

The only thing he could think of was the way you laid down there, away from his grasp.

No matter how slow he walks, he soon finds himself in front of ‘you’, oh well—a stone that only proved to him that you're gone. “Have you been waiting?”

He couldn't believe it,

He was talking to a mere stone.

But he’ll take what he can get.

“Wake up.” he stared down with an expressionless face, “enough laziness, [name]. Get up from there.”

“You can have all of the shirts you want from me, you can pluck my eyebrows, do it, you can get a puppy. Anything you want just— just wake up.”

His voice betrayed him the more he spoke, 

The longer he looked at the stone, the way he kept reading the credentials written on it, the more it felt real. Every passing second is just another evidence of your disappearance,

“You always call me mean,”

He swallowed,

“Yet you're the one who left first.” his cold gaze softened, the more he looked at the ground. Under the ground where your body laid.

Where the body of his lover slept eternally.

“How do I find you now? Now that I'm stuck here?”

He recollects his promise, the promise to reunite in your next life. It all pierced through him. He’s a soldier, yet he finds himself worrying about the most ridiculous thing. What if you'd reincarnate before he passed?

What if you leave him behind again,

What if this time you find someone else to love?

What will he be then?

“Remember when you'd go on tangents about how fascinating reincarnation and universes are? I believe you now, okay? So— so wait for me.”

He sat down, quietly enjoying the breeze. He couldn't deny the pain of the piercing ache that developed in his chest. It never really went away. He would simply distract himself.

“I find it hard to sleep again, love.”

“The bed feels colder without you in it. Do i sound cheesy? Do not make fun of me. I want to be honest. Maybe doing that would lessen the overbearing hurt in my chest. It’s just—it’s only been a month since youre gone and im already a fucking mess. I mean, look at me,”

He chuckled,

“I look rough, dont i?” he sighed, “would you still find my eyes pretty even when i tire them out by crying?”

He looked away, observing the serenity of the cemetery. He wondered how many souls wandered around, and if yours were one, and if you stood close to him.

“I feel—just terrible. When I woke up, I thought I'd finally lose it, well I did. I caused price trouble, you'd have scolded me. I really did it this time, pushing everyone away as if you'd come back to tell me off. That's not ever happening, and that's what hurts the most.” 

He spoke slowly, yet he felt out of breath.

“It feels suffocating—you know? To live without you.”

“I don't know why I woke up, I wished I didn't. Maybe then I'd be with you.”

“It’s scary, [name], so scary.” he whispered, the rasp of his voice sounding more evident. “I have no certainty if we’ll see each other again; and I need nothing more than to hold—to feel you again. To hear your voice, to take in your scent. If I have to give everything up for that, I will.”

“Anything just to have you back to me.”

He stared at the words engraved on the tomb,

“but if i have to wait decades or centuries—i will—without hesitance, without a blink, i will. For you, I'll keep being patient.”

“That's how worthy you are [name]. So wait for me please, no matter how long it takes for me to find you again, please wait.”

He spoke lowly, but certainly, no matter where you are, he hoped you'd recognize him, hoping you’d recognize his eyes you loved so much,

“Even if it means i'll have to die again and again, i’ll keep searching for you until we’re back home until i can hear your voice call my name again.”

“Wait for me, [name].”

Hoping you’d recognize your Simon.

、 

Somewhere along the memories,

、 

Somewhere along the universe,

、 

Somewhere along life and death,

、 

Somewhere along—

、 

“Simon.”

“Pardon?” he looked at you, puzzled expression written all over his face. “Whatd you just say?”

“My simon.”

We're home.

[itsxroxannex]

I srsly wonder how long you've been drawing- ur art is SO good- WTFFF- I'ma eat all ur art and come at u with aggressive positivity 😤😤😤

Thank you!! ;0;

It's been 10 years now :))

[valentine-writes]

hypotheticals

[ tws + notes: no tws at all... crack. fluff. silly. reader is oh so so silly. i am not taking thingz 2 srsly i REFUSE (*/ω＼*) ]

↳ ft. diluc, itto, kaeya

「 gn! reader, romantic relationship <3 」

author's note: WOOO.. feb 14 posting (LATE SO LATE SO SO LATE) but anyways.... i am allowed to be silly. for funzies :3 (I THINK THIS IS MILDLY FUNNY PLEASE I AM SORRY IF U WANTED SOMETHING SERIOUS) (〃∀〃)ゞ anyways. letz get 2 tha hcs ^_^ also... soz 4 cutting out A Lot of characterz i do not have any motivation 2 write much :[

you've been with him for a while now. and the both of you became close in your relationship, finding comfort in each other's presence– and yet still a question lingered in the back of your mind.

it was only a matter of time before you asked him. after all, the very existence of your relationship and it's longevity relied on this single question alone.

hesitating for a moment, you clear your throat to grab his attention. you part your lips, mustering up the courage to ask him the all-important question:

"would you still love me if i was a worm?"

▸ "what...?" DILUC blinks at you about several times, as he tries to figure out whether he had just imagined those words, or if they had actually came out of your mouth.

"would you still love me if i was a worm?" you repeat, more slowly this time, ensuring he hears you loud and clear.

the look on his face is hard to discern. whether he's disappointed in you for asking the question, himself for not having an answer, or even genuinely debating in what he would do if you were turned into a worm is beyond you. it takes him a few second to figure out a response.

he looks up at you, furrowing his brow. "why would you be turned into a worm in the first place?"

"that's not important!"

"i'd say it is, actually. possibly one of the main questions to ask if you were turned into a worm."

you glance at him– and you catch a tiny grin forming on his face. a small laugh escapes your lips, nudging him with your elbow as you press on.

"i don't care what questions you'd wanna ask worm me. i wouldn't be able to respond– so, would you still love me?"

diluc sighs, a small chuckle escaping his lips. "i love you now. and i would ensure, that if you were somehow turned into a worm– no harm would come upon you."

▸ "that's a good question..." ITTO mumbles, rubbing his chin. he's in deep thought for a solid minute– before quickly zoning back into reality, with a snap of his fingers.

"I GOT IT!" he proclaims, stumbling upon a revelation that he is clearly excited to share with you.

he clears his throat, preparing for this mind blowing solution to your hypothetical worm situation.

"we'd just be insect buddies! i could be like– a cool, strong onikabuto! you wouldn't have to worry your cute little worm head about being loved at all! we'd go everywhere together, hang out all the time, do whatever insects do–"

"i'd like to point out that worms aren't insects." you say, cutting him off mid ramble.

"bug buddies then?" he suggests, raising an eyebrow.

"that's a synonym for insect." still, it's hard to hide your smile growing as you think of his response. "...you'd turn yourself into a bug for worm me?"

he pats you on the head, grinning brightly. "i'd do anything for you– and you don't gotta be a worm for that."

▸ KAEYA laughs, before looking you in the eye.

"probably not."

you practically feel your heart collapse over itself, under the weight of his words. pressing a hand to your chest, you feign insult as long as you can before caving in and asking,

"...really?" your eyes search his face for an answer, wondering if he's being serious or not.

he notices the softness in your voice. the way your lips pout slightly, as you await a response.

kaeya treads carefully now– too scared to actually hurt you over what he might say. "well, would you love me if you were a worm?"

your brows furrow as you think. "after your response, i'm not so sure. i can't live a worm life of unrequited worm love."

he chuckles. there's a genuine warmth to it this time, not mocking or teasing you at all.

"then you won't have to. i'll just have to love you no matter what shape you take," he gently places his hand over yours, "i couldn't break your little worm heart."

you can't help but laugh at the last part, snickering softly. he barely conceals his own grin.

"how cruel of you to laugh at me– i really am trying to be earnest." he smiles. the glimmer in his eyes betrays him.

[greensagephase]

Hi- I've really, and I mean really enjoyed Nonviolent Communication so far (no srsly, it's the one fanfic I've been following with absolute interest) and I wanna be nice and provide an animation bc I said so :D

I would love if you gave me some preferences for GIFs (not animatics, my autism is going to implode /j) from the scenes you loved most :] P.S. I love your style of writing, and I will patiently wait for part 15, bc good food is cooked with love and care

AHHH YOU’RE THE ARTIST THAT CREATED THE “MI AMOR... ME DUELE LA BARRIGA” GIF - STOP !!! THAT WAS SO CUTE !!!! Thank you for creating those gifs!!! I swear to you I've found myself saying that to myself multiple times since I came across your post!!🤣

And omg, thank you for reading Nonviolent Communication!!! I'm so happy that you've enjoyed it so far!! 🥺 And the fact you want to make an animation??? YOU'RE TOO SWEET, THANK YOU!!! ❤️

Omg, where do I begin? I love so many of the scenes I’m written so far, but let me compile some of my top favorite!

I’ll go with the most recent scene from part 14 where both reader and Miguel say “Always” to each other while sitting side by side on the floor, eating pan dulce and cafe de olla.

The first time they slept on the living room floor after Miguel had a nightmare holding hands which I’m totally normal about (no, I’m not !!!!) in part 13.

When Miguel finally tells reader she’s his best friend on the rooftop (so normal about this and Miguel’s progress 😭) also in part 13.

When Miguel wiped reader’s tears away with his scarf on New Year’s Eve because she was thinking about the previous years when she was alone after her Peter’s death and before joining the Spider Society from the Blanca Navidad one-shot.

When they babysat Mayday and she made both reader and Miguel’s action figures kiss right in front of them and they were both embarrassed and shy about it in part 11.

I have to mention the Día de los Muertos chapter (part 6)! That entire chapter always makes me so happy to think about because it’s the first time Miguel opens up to reader by showing her his ofrenda for his deceased loved ones and then sharing pan dulce and Mexican candy with her!

When reader gently cleans Miguel’s face while he’s recovering from his encounter with the Green Goblin and also when she feeds him the cafeteria food and he hates the steamed carrot (thinking about it still makes me laugh), honestly chapter 9 is just filled with a lot of scenes I love because we have reader looking after Miguel and him actually accepting it because he feels comfortable with her and no one else 🥹

The scene in part 12 when Miguel gives reader a pinky hug/squeeze without some kind of excuse to play it off. It's the first time he offers the gesture directly because he wants reader to know he's working on physical touch and that he's honored she wants to hug him.

This list wouldn’t be complete without giving the first chapter a mention, it’s what started it all! The scene in which Miguel checks reader’s forehead for a sign of fever and realizes it’s not that, but rather her period and then makes socks with rice to help with her cramps while she’s passed out asleep! 🥺

Honestly, there are more but these are just a few! I wish I could mention a scene from part 15 but that would be a spoiler 😭

Thank you SO MUCH for the love and support for NC!! I'm so honored you wish to do an animation for my fic, seriously, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! ❤️I hope you're doing wonderful and that you have a lovely weekend!! 🥰💞 P.S. I appreciate your kind words and patience so, so much!!! Part 15 should be posted this weekend, if everything goes well! :)

[duckprintspress]

Hi there, i'm not sure this is in your wheel house, and I hate to waste your time, but I had a question and wonder if you might be able to offer advice (no worries if you can't or don't want to). i write a lot of fan fiction, but also have lots of idea about non-fan fiction stories. when i've tried to write them, however, I find the idea of getting a whole story out to be sufficiently intimidating that i've never been able to do it (there are probably other reasons for this of course, too). i love the A03 capability of posting one chapter (which can be super short) at a time; it's a real impetus to keep going without having to complete an entire work up front, esp if the feedback along the way is encouraging. what is your take on getting an original fiction story out in a03, but then trying to get it published elsewhere afterwards (taking it down from a03 at that point if necessary)? is that something feasible to try to do?

or perhaps you have other recs? (I don't think my original stories (unlike my fan fic) is likely to be focused on LGBTQIA+ relationships or issues, and i'm straight, so i suspect it's not what your publishing house is focusing on)

thank you so much for even reading this message.

Howdy anon! So there's a few things brought up in this message, and I'll try to answer each.

First: yes, we love offering advice and getting asks! Srsly, you and everyone, don't hesitate to drop stuff like this in our inbox, I love answering them, and if I (hi, I'm @unforth, meatspace name Claire, pen name/editing name Nina, and I own the Press and run our social media accounts) don't know the answer, I can kick 'um to the DPP server and get more folks to weigh in!

Second: yeah, motivation is a constant challenge, and what works is always going to be different for everyone. Those comments each chapter can be all that keeps me going on a long fanfic sometimes (and even they're not enough sometimes, oops, shovels a bunch of unfinished wip under the carpet behind themself)

Specifically, you ask: what is your take on getting an original fiction story out in a03, but then trying to get it published elsewhere afterwards (taking it down from a03 at that point if necessary)?

So, works are absolutely converted from AO3 stories to published stories. I can think of a half-dozen examples off the top of my head (one of the most recent being Even Though I Knew the End by C. L. Polk, which started as a Dean Winchester/Jimmy Novak fic). However, I'd point out that original fiction gets very VERY low engagement on AO3. Most of the conversions I know of are people taking fanfiction and either scrubbing the barcodes (as in, swapping character names and removing/replacing canon references) or completely rewriting it. If the feel you're struggling with is "I want to get fanfic-like engagement but on a completely original work" I think you'd struggle to get that on AO3; virtually no one I know who has posted original works on AO3 has gotten that engagement on those works.

Publishing it as original fiction that you don't substantially change for publication will also weaken your ability to get it published. It'll guarantee that you can only apply with it to places that allow/do reprints, because you've already "used" the First Worldwide Publication Rights that most publishers will want for an original thing - because you already published it. So even if you remove it, the cat is already out of the bag on "first," and that will limit your options - another reason to do it as fanfic that you then rewrite. It's relatively hard to find places that will publish works, especially long works, that the First rights are already off the table (though we're one example of a place that will, we've published things that are up on AO3, and allowed the unedited versions to remain on AO3 when we've done so. For example, several of @tryslora's stories. We've also allowed the opposite; there's at least one original work on AO3 that started as a DPP exclusive for Patreon, and when the rights reverted back to the author, they chose to post it to AO3 with our blessing).

Of course, you can bypass these issues by self-publishing. Then what you keep and what you change, whether you keep it on AO3 or remove it, etc., is up to you, because you're the boss. Self-pubbing puts a lot more of the work on your shoulders tho - editing, cover art, marketing, typesetting, etc., all of it becomes your responsibility.

But: yes, taking works from AO3 to original fic publishing is feasible and is a thing that happens all the time. Depending on how you're publishing it and/or how extensively you rewrite it, you may not even have to take it down, but it would depend. Certainly, for most trad pub/big publishing houses, they would expect you to take it down.

Re: your last point about working with us, we require exactly zero disclosures from our contributors about their sexual or gender orientation. Our only requirement is that authors have posted fanfiction on a public, accessible fanfiction website. To the best of my knowledge, the vast majority of the people we work with are LGBTQIA+, but I also know for sure we've worked with at least one person who was cis and het. There are probably more. It's honestly none of my business. We've also published plenty with no LGBTQIA+ component. The way we work, we accept authors, and once we've got the author, we publish what they want to write, we're not particularly interested in policing that. Things without LGBTQIA+ don't tend to sell as well, because of the interests of our customers, but we'll put it out anyway *shrug*. I'd guess around a quarter of our catalogue has no explicit LGBTQIA+ rep, maybe a bit less.

Anyway! Hi, I'm wordy. TL:DR is: you can absolutely try to motivate yourself to write original fic by publishing it to AO3, but engagement is likely to be low, and doing so will make it harder to publish. If you feel you need the motivation that posting chapter-by-chapter gets you, it'd be better to write it as fanfiction with the intention of rewriting it later, as this will improve engagement without doing as much damage to your ability to publish it later.

and if you wanted to write with us, you'd be welcome; we recruit authors through our anthologies, and I expect our next open call to be sometime over the late spring or summer. We only juuuust started talking potential themes a few days ago.

Hope this helps!

-unforth

[lostusagis]

Aaaaah! Is it Shower Dee With Love Day?! Well it IS Munday heheh! *Taps on mic* Ahem. Is this thing on? Can you hear me? Ok so first I'd like to say...

YOU'RE AMAZING!!! 🎤😊

I'm so happy to have met you. I still think about it so tenderly to this day. I'm really really happy to have you not only as my rp partner but also as my precious friend ❤️ You're my favorite person to see on the dash! Anytime you reblog or post something, I can't help but send you my support by giving a like or a comment or both~! You're so fun to write with and super sweet and funny and talented and smart and considerate and patient and supportive and kind and caring and- *BREATHES* I just think ur neat :) SUPER NEAT!!!

You put so many wonderful writing ingredients into all your muses and I want to eat all of them in one big pot of soup... Yes I want to eat them wyd about it? JNHBYUGTCFRTFYVUBHINJ LIKE I REALLY LOVE LEARNING ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR MUSES! It's why I always like to send headcanon asks. Your answers are always so good and interesting and I can't get enough!

You deserve all the support and love and recognition like fr people are MISSING OOOOOOUUUUUUUUT!!! I absolutely adore you and our interactions and I'll never stop expressing that. ALSO PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE POST THOSE DRABBLES I KNOW YOU HAVE THOSE GEMS DRAFTED I KNOW YOU DO DON'T HIDE THEM FROM ME THEY'RE CARRYING DUST OVER THERE THOSE FUCKING GEMS NEED TO BE SEEN I TELL YOU SEEN!!! Haha sorry I just love reading your drabbles like seriously I'm your #1 fan! I love your writing and your ideas a lot! Always the best stuff aaaahhhhh. Ok but srsly no pressure about posting those drabbles if ur not ready, but just letting you know that if you have doubts on them just know that they always come out great in the end ♡ I can tell you put so much thought and detail into writing them. It really does shine through. Actually, it's because of you that I ever wrote drabbles here for the first time! I've done a lot of first times here on this blog because of you, in fact. You inspire me in many ways, Dee! 😊

Haha sorry this got long wow. I could go on and on tbh, but basically you're the best and ily so so so so so soooooooooooo much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

( its 5am and im fucking skdjdjs gonna cry. you really know how to make me emotional huh? I really needed this though thanks. since as of late I've been hating my writing a lot. But man, you're honestly my favorite to see on the dash too. All those feelings are mutual. I LOVE seeing your reactions to my replies or asks, i always look forward to seeing that hahaha. And i definitely always wanna show my support to you too. I like seeing the stuff you rb related to Namida's character, helps me get a better understanding of her y'know? I adore her so much. I want to kiss her on the forehead and hug her tightly and tell her how amazing she is.

You're also super fun to write with, MAN. I still go through old threads and reread. That's how much every interaction was soooo great for me. But you're literally so sweet... So so kind. You're one of the few people I'm confident is interested in my writing & muses. Never had any doubts about that literally. I know I'd literally die for yours. Hmu if you ever write a book I'd buy that shit quick. Every reply, every ask, it's like a dessert. You've truly given me the best rp experience ever. And i wanna do my best to give you a good experience as well because im as invested in your content as you are in mine. You're awesome, amazing, so, so talented and creative. You're also such a great friend, thanks especially for sending me messages currently since it's just been rough haha. Just... Thanks for everything. I've had tough moments on this blog but having you as a mutual is why it still remains :))

But AAAA the ones i havent posted are unfinished, since i keep getting stuck or lose confidence in what I'm writing. I know i started the one i mentioned where the siblings talk about namida recently I'll try focusing on that next. You remain the only reason i still consider posting drabbles ajdjdjsksjd thanks i know i always look forward to your comments on them. But DUDE I'd love to read any other drabbles you'll write. I think so far you wrote the one where Namida got really upset and made a mess in her room & the really smutty one. I really wanna reread the first one so if you have a link pls send i read the most recent one a couple times already jesus. So good. Top tier stuff. Also if i forgot any others you posted please lmk 😩 but also just for u I'll make sure to try finishing more drabbles.

Thanks so much for being such a good friend / rp partner. Sending good vibes to you as well. You made me really happy by sending this sorry if its a jumbled mess ily )

[girls-are-weird]

MASTER LIST: One Fic for Each Fandom [A-I]

i've been working on this for months now, y'all, i'm so tired. Dx

many, soooo many years ago, i came up with the idea of recommending one fic, not necessarily the best or biggest or most popular fic, but definitely my ultimate favorite fic for every fandom i was in at the time or had been in at some point up to then. there are some fics i love so much that i go back to them periodically, maybe every couple of years, even if i'm not active in that fandom anymore. so i thought having a list of them somewhere i could easily find them was a pretty good idea.

narrator: she forgot where to "easily" find the list.

but i still liked the idea a lot, and i told myself when i found the list again, i would update it with fics for all the fandoms i've joined/read for since then. well, a couple of days as of the first drafting of this post, i finally found my original list on my old livejournal (christ, i'm old) and decided i would start on that update, but to post on my tumblr blog instead.

so here it is. they're not all romance, though most of these will include one or more of my favorite ships for their respective fandom (which you can find at my ships archive), even if it's just in the background. some of the fics are the same as i had in my original list, but some of them are not, simply because i've found fics i love even more since then. needless to say, most of those that were 'ported from my original list are quite old or written before canon was finished (the list is from 2006… please refrain from commenting if you weren't born back then, lol. i'm acutely aware that my early fandom life is basically ancient history to most of you). even some from more recent fandoms might be pretty old or non-canon-compliant, simply because i've been collecting fandoms since time immemorial. some might contain elements that would be considered problematic in this day and age. some might be unfinished. they're all special to me in some way.

some fandoms seem to have slipped through the cracks in the transition between FFN (where favorites and alerts are very organized but i always forgot to use them, and there's no read history) and AO3 (where subscriptions and history are unreliable and impossible to search through, and there's no way to see which fics you've left kudos on)-- srsly, how hard is it to just save everything in this age of big data? smdh. some of the links might not work, as you might imagine-- it'll take me some time to find new links, or to figure out if the fic is still even on the internet. if you've heard of these fics and know where they can be currently found, please let me know! because of that reason, i haven't listed ratings for every single one, though i've tried to add that in where i can find it. still, i hope this is helpful for someone, and i'm going to keep it pinned on my blog so i NEVER, EVER forget where it is again (and can regularly update it as i am sucked into more fandoms).

back in the day, i had hoped this format could catch on as a meme type of thing, so that other people could take it as a template and make their own fandom recs lists. so i'd love to see yours! be sure to tag me if you decide to do this. :)

-

[ FANDOMS A-I BELOW, J-Z HERE ]

-

THE ADVENTURES OF SHIRLEY HOLMES

the case of the mysterious man (and sequels!) by HA senidal / @ha-senidal (PG/T).

with newcomer blake hewitt joining her and bo, shirley investigates a stranger who might know something about the recently stolen mona lisa.

-

AA! MEGAMI-SAMA / OH! MY GODDESS

no mere mortal (and sequels!), by ed sharpe.

keiichi's cousin kenji comes to visit the temple for a week. what mischief will he get in with the three goddesses?

-

AGENT CARTER

renegades by inkdust / @ink-dust (M).

or, peggy & daniel against the world

the real world doesn't have a hollywood ending. in fact it doesn't even pause. but they're a team. a wonderful team.

post-finale.

-

ANNE WITH AN E

the secret of distance by lil_redhead / @royalcordelia (T).

anne and gilbert embark on their journeys, but stay close to each other at heart. courting across 1000 miles isn't easy, but they're more than willing to step up to the task. (a post s3 story).

-

ARTEMIS FOWL

endings and beginnings by novawastaken / @nova-fanart-dump (T).

begins right after the second to last chapter of the last guardian and continues on to the final chapter and beyond. spoilers for the last guardian! SPOILERS! no romance in here, but artemis/holly romance in the epilogue.

-

ATTACK ON TITAN

stress relief by pepin-bones (M).

soldiers lead stressful lives, which means they need ways to unwind and cope with the stress of what they see and what they do - sometimes in unconventional ways. but eren thinks it's ridiculous, or at least he did…

-

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER

annakpok by dariussobreitus (E).

a "stolen" wife amdist a world rebuilding after a century of war, a repentant fire nation trying to redeem its wrongs and earn good deeds. excuse for invasion or not, the wife who left the northern tribe chief will be reclaimed, even if the poles of the south, and the capital city of the southern tribe, annakpok, must melt.

an AU of the avatar series with events inspired by the movie troy and their versions of the illiad. there will be differences, in both characters and events, with emphasis on key characters, battles, war, strategy and hopefully some the nuance within.

while serving in similar roles to the illiad/troy counterparts, the avatar characters are very much themselves and not heavily influenced by the illiad characterizations.

-

BACCANO!

the successful wooing of chane laforet by splashfree (T).

“i’m in love with you, chane laforet,” he says. “and at the end of the day, that’s all there is to it.”

claire and chane go on a date. wackiness ensues.

-

BANANA FISH

fool for lesser things by snow_falls / @nightofviolet (E).

"he knew irrefutably that if eiji left he would take something fundamental to ash with him, and without that, what would be the point in living? he might as well have let Foxx finish him, if he was going to cop out now. no, sing was right, the little brat, what the fuck would be the point if he didn’t go with eiji? god, he was an idiot."

or the fix it fic we all need. the alternate ending i cherish in my heart of hearts.

-

BLEACH

next, home by inlay (T).

rukia was sitting in his room the first time he opened his eyes after. he does not know if this was a dream, or reality—remembers only that she looked very pale, and that there was a small, black hell butterfly perched on her finger. in this vision, she looked startlingly similar to the girl who used to crouch on his windowsill before school, shiny black shoes and black hair. he watched her for as long as his eyes could stay open, waiting for her to notice him and tell him what was happening. the battle hadn't felt like the deciding, dramatic finale he'd been subconsciously expecting, and he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop.

what next?

(or, sometimes it takes a couple lifetimes to learn the difference between a love and a soulmate)

-

THE BOOK THIEF

a changing of hands by antistar_e (kaikamahine) / @kaikamahine (T).

it happens like this, in a single fateful moment. a pilot sneezes, and the bombs, when they fall, are off-target. [AU].

-

CAPTAIN PLANET

heroes for earth (and sequels!) by stephensmat (T).

our world is in peril. the conscious soul of the earth is aware that since the error is ours, the power to stop the chaos must be ours as well. an updated retelling of the series pilot. an origin story based on the premise of the show.

-

CARD CAPTOR SAKURA

haikei (and its sequel, kitaku), by ciircee (PG/M).

when eriol left japan tomoyo promised to write. a history of time, in letters. ExT. part of third arc universe.

-

COWBOY BEBOP

tuesday's gone by neviana (M).

she always had a way of surprising him. everything from emptying her glock into the ceiling of the bebop when he left to the icy glare she gave him upon his return. though somehow, this stunt seemed to top them all … spikeXfaye.

-

DANCING WITH THE LION SERIES / ALEXANDER TRILOGY / ALEXANDER THE GREAT RPF

non frustra vixis by aramley, meretricula / @meretricula (NR).

in 2008, the previously all-women st. hilda's college at oxford began admitting men. in 2009, classics afficionado, rowing prodigy, and all-around posh bastard alexander macedon decided his new ambition was to join his best friend at hilda's and start a men's rowing dynasty.

-

DARK

face your fears by narrative_bear (T).

the inevitability of an event doesn’t necessarily make it any easier to experience. the recent birth of mikkel nielsen weighs heavily on michael kahnwald, who begins to withdraw from his family. in an effort to reconnect with his wife and son, michael decides to accompanies them to the nielsens’ where he is forced to confront his past.

-

DERRY GIRLS

maybe someday series by areseebee / @areseebee (T).

capturing moments when james and erin are growing up and growing together at 17, 19, and 27.

these fics all take place in the same timeline and build on the overall story in each part. while personal space can stand on its own, smoke break and someday are best enjoyed as companion pieces.

-

DIGIMON ADVENTURE

if you by chichamunkyhead.

sora poses as yama's girlfriend… sorato, takari, jyoumi, hint of kenyako. that's all of a summary you're getting!

-

DRAGON BALL/Z/GT

automatic flowers (and sequels!) by rayne.

running away was never the way of the son family and pan son learns this lesson the hard way as she returns home to face a problem she never could quite solve.

-

THE DRAGON PRINCE

a delicate arrangement by jelly / @jelzorz (M).

it’s not that it’s a bad idea. in all honesty, ezran thinks it’s a well thought-out, completely reasonable, perfectly sound idea that could solve a lot of his own problems, callum’s problems, and katolis’ problems, in one fell swoop - if it works, that is. it’s a little risky, he’ll admit, but it’s not the same as, say, running away from home at ten years old with his brother and a moonshadow elf assassin (whose mission was to kill him, mind) to return a dragon egg in the midst of a centuries-long war, and hey, they’d managed that all right. compared to that mess, politics should be easy, right?

right?

[or, the arranged marriage rayllum romantic drama no one asked for]

-

FINAL FANTASY VIII

new seed (and sequels!) by klepto_maniac0 / @klepto-maniac0 (E).

an accidental start to something not so innocent. how far can a relationship run on pure lust before it turns into something else? set in a time when things haven't gone downhill yet.

-

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST (2003 ANIME)

he who searches for himself, by yuuki hikari / weatheringtea / @weatheringtea (M).

this story continues on fullmetal alchemist where episode 51 finished off. alternate ending to the series, not based on the movie. FMA gen!fic. characters and events up to 51 are included. the rating is for language and later violence.

-

GUNDAM WING

a toast to the bride and groom, by orla.

in this fic by orla, duo made the mistake of opening the floor for speeches at his wedding. see what everyone has to say.

-

HARRY POTTER

paradigm of uncertainty (and sequels!), by lori summers.

carla says: this fanfic series is the bible for any self-respected H/Hr shipper. lori's a wonderful storyteller. it is SO well-constructed.

-

HAVEN

aether or by callmehux (T).

paige came to haven for a new life. she didn't realize she was coming to find some old ones.

this takes place after the series finale and probably won't make sense unless you've seen the whole run of the TV show.

-

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

persephone by sunflowerb (M).

she was meant to be the price for peace; her life in exchange for the dragon master's mercy. her captor wasn't supposed to be a ghost from her past, and she wasn't supposed to become his ally…or his lover. and when news spreads of a blonde-haired girl at the dragon master's side, there will be repercussions for dragons and vikings alike.

-

THE HUNGER GAMES

lone star state of mine by jenye (M).

modern AU. there are three types of people in dawson, texas: those who are trying to flee, those who embrace their small town fate, and the mellarks. mellark ranch; largest cattle ranch south of dallas, employer of ranch hand, katniss everdeen, and home of the ohio state buckeyes' running back, peeta mellark. and peeta mellark is coming back home today.

-

INUYASHA

dressing wounds (and sequels!), by personification of fluff.

SM [completed] rated R for citrusy situations. when sango finds out how much miroku cares for her, it's the battle of the sexes! the prize? sango's heart, of course. fluff-filled chapters, and an attempt to break every cliche and fill each plothole!

-

[ FANDOMS J-Z HERE ]

[the-writing-ninja]

A decade of grieving

(basically Cole angst the fic) (ft. writer trying his best to write Jay (no srsly how do you write Jay in a mature setting that wouldn't come off as obnoxious genuinely))

-TW// mentions of death and grieving.

----------------------------------------------

[Jay is walking around the monastery in search of his best friend. He then bumps into Kai.]

Kai: Look where you're walking Walker!

Jay: Har-Har very funny.

Kai: Just messin' with ya.

Jay: Well maybe, some of us are not in the mood for messing around Kai.

Kai: Ohkay wow, who lit up your fuse, lightbulb?

Jay: It's just that I've been searching for Cole since morning, I have to show him this funny meme I found. [Jay shows Kai his phone.]

Kai: [Puts down Jay's phone] ...right

Jay: Have you seen him?

Kai: Now that you've mentioned it, even I haven't seen him around since like?? yesterday night?

Jay: Let's ask Zane, maybe he knows?

----------------------------------------------

[The two then head to the monastery's underground lair, where Zane is helping Pixal build a mech.]

Jay: Zane, Pixal, have you guys seen Cole??

Pixal and Zane, in sync: No, I'm afraid I haven't. [Kai lets out a giggle, Zane and Pixal look at him with a confused gaze.]

Kai: [now trying to control his giggling,] Don't worry about it-

Pixal: If you insist.

Jay: Can we get back on topic please??

Kai: Right, yeah, my bad.

Kai: So, do you guys like- have a clue where he might be?

Zane: I'm afraid I do not. However, I might know why he's away.

Kai: Really??

Jay: Why???

Zane: Today is the 10th anniversary of Lily's passing.

Jay:

Kai: ..Oh.

----------------------------------------------

[Cole is climbing a mountain, the very same one he scaled when his mother had passed away to handle his grief. He was only thirteen back then, now he is twenty-three.]

Cole: I can't believe it! I-I thought I was over it-

Cole: I thought I grieved enough.

Cole: Then why then am I feeling- so- [Cole grunts]

[He reaches the top. He then sits down on the same spot Wu had all those years ago.]

Cole: I just,

Cole: I just can't believe it's been 10years.

Cole: I can't believe she hasn't-

Cole: That she hasn't been in my life for a whole decade-

[He looks up at the sky, perhaps with some hope of seeing her one more time.]

Cole: Get yourself together Cole.

Cole: [Sigh] And I'm talking to myself again.

Cole: I just-, miss her, so much..

----------------------------------------------

[Back at the monastery after filling Lloyd and Nya in on the situation, the ninja all devise a plan.]

Nya: Do you think it would work?

Kai: Ofcourse. I'm not the geckle chancellor for nothin' sis.

Lloyd: You might be the geckle chancellor Kai but would Shintaro allow you in in the first place?

Kai:

Zane: Considering how close Princess Vania and Cole's relationship is I think she would readily let you in after hearing about Cole's predicament.

Jay: And we will ask very nicely~

Lloyd: Well, all in agreement then?

Jay: Yee-up

Nya: Yeah!

Kai: Heck yeah!

Zane: Affirmative.

Lloyd: Alright, it's settled then, next stop Shintaro!

---------------------------------------

[Back to Cole now, he is still sitting at the top of the mountain wondering whether he should start heading back or not.]

Cole: They're probably worried about me.

Cole: I didn't even tell Zane or Master Wu I was leaving.

Cole: I should start climbing down..

Cole: Maybe i'll get back to the monastery before dinner.

Cole: I should call dad up once to check up on him..

[He starts descending the mountain.]

----------------------------------------------

[After a long journey Cole stops by the outskirts of ninjago city to check up on his dad. He rings the doorbell, but to his surprise he isn't greeted with a response. Then it hits him-]

Cole: ...He's also grieving the same way he did all those years ago huh..

Cole: [holding back his tears.] ..out singing and dancing again, ey dad?

[He leaves and heads back to the monastery. It's around dinner time now. Hope no one has noticed his absence, he doesn't want to be bombarded with a million questions today...]

----------------------------------------------

[Before opening the gates to the monastery, he gives himself a reminder.]

Cole: Whatever happens, you'll not cry Cole.

[He is supposed to be the foundation that forms the backbone of the team, he can't let himself cry infront of them, can he?]

[He's the strong one afterall, right?]

[Cole opens the door and heads inside.]

Cole: Hey guys!

[He notices that all the ninja are gathered in the living room.]

Cole: Why are all of you here? Isn't it dinner time? Oh I sure hope the dessert is some good ol' cake!

Cole:

Cole: ..um guys?

Kai: You don't have to pretend man.

Jay: Yeah it's okay-

Cole: [Looking away] I don't understannd what you guys are saying?

[Kai gets up and goes to Cole. He takes his hand and places something in his palm and closes it.]

[Cole opens his palm.]

[It's the pendant Lily gave to Gleck.]

Kai: We're here for you bud.

Jay: Yeah! Just like how you're always there for us!

[Cole finally breaks. It is the first time any of the other ninja have seen him cry.]

Cole: I'm- so-

Cole: i'm so sorry-

[Jay hugs him.]

Jay: You're my best friend you don't have to apologize for crying in front of me.

Kai: Wow that's the most intelligent thing i've ever heard come outta your mouth.

[Cole chuckles, the others also crack a smile. Jay doesn't mind being the punching bag if it is to make his best friend laugh.]

Kai: Feeling better?

Cole: Yeah..

Cole: I love you guys.

Jay: We love you too you big clod.

[They all sit down on the couch. Cole is at the centre w/ Kai and Jay around him. Nya and Pixal are standing behind the couch, Lloyd is sitting on the armrest and Zane is seated at the bottom.]

[Cole sits there looking wishfully at his mother's amulet. He pauses.]

Cole: [sigh] I can't keep this..

Cole: Mom gave it to the geckle not me..

Kai: I asked him if you could have it and he said yes.

Zane: Which was oddly very out of character for Gleck.

Kai: Eh don't worry about it i'm sure he didn't mind it- much.

Jay: Which meansss,

Lloyd: You can keep it Cole!

[Cole holds the pendant close to chest and starts sobbing. He doesn't apologize this time, for he realizes that he's with his family, who'll just as readily be there for him as he would for them.]

----------------------------------------------

[That night Cole finally managed to let out all the grief he had buried inside for the past decade, surrounded by people who loved and cared about him, who patiently stayed by his side till he was feeling okay.]

--------‐-----------------------------------------------------

[coleoffduty]

tysm @sapphireblueye for tagging me and for all the wonderful things you do for this little corner of the fandom!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

9! [but i have 17 wips breathing down my neck rn]

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

282,695

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only hotd rn but i really wanna try writing for marvel (nashuri) or dc (batriddle)!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

- brutus - The Watcher - The Realm's Sweetness - phantoms & fishbowls - legacies

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! i think it's so sweet and intimate when someone takes the time to not only read and kudos my work but also leave an appreciative response,,,, i reciprocate a lot and as a reader, commenting is a bit intimidating so i rlly value the initiation!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't think anything i have out yet is too sad (but i'm angst tone deaf at times) although 'The Realm's Sweetness' is def the one that comes to mind. it's based on canon/my take on a lore accurate asoiaf storyline for lucemond so,,,,, yikes,,,

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

'love in the dark' and 'brutus' are a tie for that one. rhaenicent get to run away together and live domestically while lucemond get to rule and start their own little family despite,,, the horrors.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

actually not really. i've gotten condescending/backhanded comments but the only fic i've gotten a crumb of real hate on is my fic concept art which was.... interesting....

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i do! i write the bad kind <3 no but srsly it's just nothing crazy or fun (imo)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

no,,, maybe when i was like younger but as of now, no,,,

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope! but i think most of the ideas/plots i make up are really out there and abstract so if anyone tried-- good luck. i can barely keep up with some of my fic lore and that's because i have it all written down in my notes app.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i was thinking about translating my english stuff into spanish myself,,, and then i realized how much work that is so,,,

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

nah. i've thought about it... i just feel like my writing process takes a while and anybody stuck writing with me would end up regretting it lol

14. What's your all-time favourite ship

i ofc love my hotd dumpster fires (lucemond, rhaenicent, luaena, alysmond, jacegan, etc) but the first pairing that forever has a special place in my heart are soul&maka from soul eater,,,

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i have this rhaenicent fic that was in the works but i just sort of lost any new plot to add to it. that tends to happen and my brain randomly picks things back up, but this one has been radio silent for a while,,, nothing i've teased or already have a preexisting work out for though!

16. What are your writing strengths?

detail. foreshadowing. outlandish things galore. you could give me an inanimate, random household item and i'd probably come up with a rlly intricate backstory for it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probs smut and the amount of writing i do. average trs and legacies chapters are 5-10k and that leads to slow updates. but hey, i'm trying to learn about quality over quantity.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

hmmm the only other language i'm fluent in is spanish but none of the characters i write speak it so,,,, valryian is rlly the only language i write dialogue in for fics but that's generated through a translator so eh. things get lost in translation or don't come across with the initial intended meaning. at first, i used to think high valryian was such a nice, intimate undertone for fics but now as someone writing the dialogue and sourcing the translations-- i've become a bit immune. i just use it for plot reasons now.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

b-bts ff- on wattpad- [gunshot] (this was actually a really nice experience and intro into fic writing so,,, army borahae asf)

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

probs 'is this fate (or is this fear)'! i love black mirror and the actual premise is based on one of my own nightmare sequences, so how fun <3 no but yeah i wrote it in a week and felt so immensely pleased with myself for having stuck with the idea and then completing it,,,

tagging @droppofsaltt, @spiderlilac, @unohanabbygirl & anybody else who sees this and feels like doing it <3

[honestreviewsblog]

Watching The One and Only kdrama - A Fan's Journey with spoilers!!

Ep 1

Me: I feel like this one's gonna be sad again

Mom: It does look like it, why do we keep watching these shows??

Me: Honestly I don't know why, but I like them

Mom: Are you a sadist

Me: 🫥🫥🫥

Ep 2-3

can't type it's too much to handle. i mean?? i wonder how it feels to learn that you have a terminal illness, all your life you've been abandoned by everyone aside your grandma, and life has just been pretty shtty then you become an mc of a kdrama and your life is still shtty and pathetic but now you're being kissed by someone whose life is as messed up as yours, who thought you were pretty when you've just hit someone with a golf club, and who, as you've heard, fell in love with you at first sight.

Ep 4-9

Either a lot happened or not a lot happened really I can't choose, it just went whoosh we're on ep 10 next. Hate how they ✨keep✨cutting✨on✨the✨good✨parts✨ BUT the chemistry thoooo, like pls the main characters are so cute 😭 I love their acting so muuuch. THEY'RE the highlight of the episodes really bcs the plot is srsly irritating me so far. I thought the plot wasn't gonna revolve around the murder so much, honestly but hey it started there and I guess it has to end somewhere. But every episode just feels like the repetition of the last one cos there's no real discovery in the pov of the audience. There's literally nothing new nor exciting, the characters are just learning what we already knew from the start, it's getting booooring. Hope it gets better soon tho cos I really do love the main characters. For some reasons I keep rooting for them, probably bcs it feels like it only seems fair that they get a good ending. Not even hoping for a happy ending at this point, just a good one would be everything.

UPDATE: I couldn't finish it I'm so sorry 😭😭

[pierofilm]

as someone who’s been following since like, year september or october im legit so proud rn omg omg like one of my fav authors on tumblr reached 1000 followers like this is actually such an achievement!! you deserve all the love & support, tysm for being such a wonderful writer 💕💕

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS ANONNIE 😭😭😭😭💖💞💖💞💖 you've been here for so long too??? THANK YOU FOR STILL BEING HERE !!! 💞💞 Like god I'm so grateful, I'm running out vocabs srsly.. I'm just speechless :((( i'll have to hug you alot srsly 🫂🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖 once again thank you very very much! ill keep this in my heart forever and treasure it always, your words will keep me going anon. thank you!! 💞💞💞

[tinyxiaohu]

Imagine Xiao Zhan laoshi is in front of you. You are a fan, a very, very good fan and it has been years of you following his works and appreciating his aesthetics and stuff, supporting him, cheering up for him, tearing up for him, sometimes getting angry on behalf of him even though rationality demands that you know nothing. But. He's your favorite. He's lovely and beautiful and smart and a bit older (sorry) than you (not too much, srsly) and he's very hardworking so far that you've witnessed. Such a super amazing actor and singer. He's getting recognition and rewards that he deserves. He's busy with his life. He might have been different kinds of upheavel in his life than you believe, but it's all than you can imagine and you wish him to be very happy. Now to the fantasy, he's in front of you. You're just passing by and you see him and you squeal in your head or faint or whatever and you take deep hulking breathes and you just want to go near, maybe poke his cheeks, stutter or go cross eyed and he looks at you funnily and wonders at his luck at being accosted, and hightails out of the next exit. So no you're not doing that, you'll just watch from afar and now, he thinks you're a creepy Stalker, so not that either. You'll just pretend you attained nirvana and ascended or something and move on. But. XIAO ZHAN. YOU CAN'T. HE'S JUST RIGHT THERE. Even broken clocks take twelve hours to align, you are not a cat with nine lives. He's so out of your league that you're in a multiverse of your own. It's that improbable. Just a teensy weensy fangirling, squealing, getting crazy with happiness, weeping over how the good karma of your life is paid off that he's here in front of you, maybe a shop casually browsing or pretending to while marketing something or shooting or whatever (man, this fantasy getting so out of hand) so you'll 99.99% maybe not see him again this close. And yeah, making him distressed by your actions: so not funny or your prerogative. So. Dilemma. Xiao Zhan. Let us admire you from the safety of the screen between us and keep up the good work. And if in an alternate universe free hug to just one person in the whole world is allowed. Maybe a hug someday. Or not. No biggie. Life is vast and pretty. Rant over~~~

[gegeetime]

rules: list your top 10 biases and answer the following questions

tagged by: my lovely @heeseongism 🤩🤍

1. wonyoung

2. heeseung

3. jay

4. jake

5. seulgi

6. jennie

7. jaehyun

8. xiaojun

9. karina

10. rei

(this is a temporary order because idols keep bias-wrecking me everytime 😩😩😩)

Q1: between 1 and 4 who would your rather kiss?

A: yall mean how am i supposed to choose fuck 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 but,,,, jake bc i wonder how great he is with that plump looking lips 🚶‍♂️

Q2: between 2 and 7 who would be your best friend?

A: jaehyun bc im hee's gf so there's no way he becomes my bff🤚🏻

Q3: between 5 and 10 who has a better voice?

A: both are very talented. i tell you. but seulgi has that unique voice that i like sm and i fall in love with her more when 28 reasons out srsly she created her own genre with that album. queen behavior 💅

Q4: between 1 and 8 who is the funniest

A: xiaojun,,, he has that sense you know

Q5: between 6 and 9 who would you date?

A: i hate this game 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️🚶‍♂️ BOTH ‼️‼️‼️‼️ they're my gfs wym i've to choose💁🏻‍♀️

Q6: between 9 and 10 who would you do a collaboration with?

A: rei !! she's literally a hidden gem OMG did yall know that she wrote the rap parts in after like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Q7: between 4 and 8 who is the better dancer?

A: both, really. i'd been watching xiaojun's growth in dancing since 2020 you wouldn't understand how proud i am 😭😭😭 #xiaojunsmomdetected. as for jake, i think he's really talented like ?????? ok i cant choose bye

Q8: between 3 and 5 who would you most likely marry?

A: jay. i mean GURL let's just be honest we all want jay as our husbands and he's the freaking standard 🗣🗣🗣‼️

Q9: between 1 and 7 who would you nurse when they are sick?

A: wony bc my girl been working so hard for these past few years and it'd be such an honor for me to take care of her oml pls she REALLY needs to rest i worry abt her 😭😭😭😭 #⭐️shipsucks

Q10: between 2 and 3 who has a better smile

A: this game is torturing me istg- bitch both 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok.listen i have a reason for this. you know when jay smiles and he goes :] HWISKSOHSKA ado‼️ra‼️ble‼️

and for heeseung.... man's just perfect in any kind of aspects. period.

Q11: between 6 and 8 who would you vacation with?

A: xiaojun bc idk i just don't wanna feel poor next to jennie pls 😭😭😭😭😭😭🤚🏻 i'm afraid if we'd ever be in an argument she'd slap me with her gucci bag 😞

i love this game bc it makes my ass feel bad 😍😍😍

tagging: @sugarcherriess @heeswifeyy @hee-pster @thots4hee @iiousim @jayked @maggstar and anyone who wants to hop in 🌷 (im sorry if you've get tag b4 😭🤚🏻)

[pureiimagination-archive]

{(I’m about to get all sappy, but here we go!

I honestly just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone here in our lil Coco rp community. There are so many of you lovely peeps out there that I honestly adore seeing on my dash. And, even if we are still kinda small, at least from all that I’ve seen now, it’s still so great to be part of this familia!

And, I wanna give a little extra special thanks to all the other fantastic Héctor blogs out there!!

I admit, I have really bad anxiety when it comes to duplicates due to past experiences that had me chased away from muses altogether. But, everyone here has been so welcoming and open! It’s just so wonderful to be able to see those with duplicate muses sharing thoughts for this precious skeleton boy. Supporting headcanons and ideas, and just flat out supporting ONE ANOTHER as well! It’s such a rare thing to see in the rp community where everyone always seems to try to outdo the other.

I know I haven’t had the chance to reach out to everyone in this lovely community, but I’m so happy to have had the chance to plot and speak to all of you!!! And, I hope we all continue to do so much more together!!!

- All the love and support from your friendly tumblr nerd, Dallas <3)}

[rotationalsymmetry]

When I was a teenager I was more afraid of getting pregnant than I was of dying. And while I'm not sure I would have made a particularly good mom at 15 or 20 or 25 (and I've barely allowed myself to consider what sort of dad I would have made at any age) that's less about age and more about how I was raised, and in particular, the way I was raised to present as though I didn't have any feelings other than a low-key happy agreeableness most of the time, and the way I was raised alternately by institutions (not in the sense of living in an institution 24/7, but srsly I spent so much of my childhood in school, aftercare, summer camp) and by a relatively small number of adults when I wasn't in an institution, in contrast to how as far as I can tell most humans for most of human experience have been raised.

And it's not like that's an unusual experience, that's a pretty typical one, and yiiiiikes I don't think that prepares anyone for parenthood well. At all.

I used to be self-conscious about my lack of babysitting experience, but I'm starting to wonder if teenagers babysitting children isn't even really a thing any more. Which is kinda understandable if so, but also, people learn how to raise children by getting exposed to children and being responsible for children in a parent-like way in small doses. If you don't have that, what do you have? Your own childhood and internet how-to videos? You need experience, people learn by doing. Having a baby with no prior experience, and especially being expected to raise a baby with very little outside support, is like being expected to run a marathon when you've never run a mile.

Children can and should be raised, to a large degree, by a community. That doesn't detract from the importance of the pair bond between parent and child, it just means it's more doable to move houses with multiple people lifting the couch and it's more doable to parent with more people doing the childcare lifting.

On this Beltane 2023, a holiday that's largely about fertility, I am thinking about the way reproduction is subject to social control.

There are very much ideas out there about who should and shouldn't be making babies.

And definitely part of that is very racist and part of that is exceptionally ableist and there is of course classism featuring a central role there: many liberals don't really believe that white people should be having kids and POC shouldn't, but will say without any sense of shame that people who can't afford kids shouldn't have kids.

Can't afford kids. Think about that for a moment.

And just as the norms around who should and should not be having sex cut both ways -- harming people who want sex who "shouldn't" be having it and people who don't want sex who "should" -- social norms around who should reproduce harm both people who want babies who "shouldn't" and people who want to be childfree who "should". (And then there's often the no abortion access catch-22: you're not supposed to raise kids, but if you get pregnant you must bear kids.)

And for people who "should" you're still not supposed to for your entire life. In particular, you're not supposed to have children too young. And why not? Lots of societies do not expect a nuclear family to raise children alone.

And worse, the skills involved in successfully shilling yourself to capitalist enterprises in order to earn money and the skills involved in raising kids don't actually overlap that much and in many cases are orthogonal to each other: capitalism demands punctuality, child-raising requires an ability to tolerate delays and disruptions to the schedule, for instance. Capitalism insists on emotional repression and in many cases faking emotions you don't actually feel; raising children well demands some level of emotional self-awareness.

There is no reason that the ability to raise children and the ability to pay for children's needs should have to be contained by a single partnership of two people, two people who are also expected to be in love with each other and only have sex with each other (nothing against people who prefer monogamy of course.) It's ass backwards that our society is arranged this way.

[jamespotterthefirst]

Open Heart has made such a huge impact on the fandom, like there are so many fanfics written about it. I feel like OH has the biggest amount of fanfics and other content related to it. The PB writers just ruined it by forcing Ethan as an LI, that made half of the fandom DESPISE the guy, almost killed Rafael, who was one of the LIs, and then ABSOLUTELY RUINED Book 3. At this point, Imma just read fanfics instead of the original book (if you would even call Book 3 THAT) because the writers here are doing a WAYY better job than this SHITSHOW that's going on, and yes, that includes you ;) (BTW, that is my subtle way of BEGGING u to continue ur writing pls)

Srsly tho, you should be proud that a nobody from the other side of the world devotes their time reading your WONDERFUL content (and others) and you've no idea about the way you make their day better :)

You are everything, my love ❤️ I will continue writing as long as I have the creativity and inspiration. Open Heart helped me break out of a horrible writing funk that lasted years. Thank you so much for the encouragement!

I agree on all your points about the impact of OPH. I have never seen this amount of love behind a book (book 1 and part of book 2). The only other book fandom that comes close is TRR.

PB fucked up really bad by destroying what they built with book one. This series could have been their biggest money maker ever.