#{♚ x Be not afraid of growing slowly‚ be afraid only of standing still [HEADCANON] x}

[feilien]

things your muse will notice about mine. ( repost, don't reblog. )

WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. Very much depends on what he's doing. On a day to day basis Matt always wears his glasses, and tends to wear fairly casual clothes, usually layered. Distressed/ripped skinny jeans, sneakers, a shirt and then a thin jacket or hoodie on top (only exception is when he's riding his bike; then he'll switch to a leather jacket and a pair of boots). Always paired with jewelry of some kind, like bracelets, and a necklace or two. Occasionally some rings. During more official business for the clan he has a couple of suits, but when he's out and about doing some of the more nefarious business he forgoes the glasses and wears exclusively black clothes that allow him to move freely while fighting and doing parkour. Also tends to obscure his face. When at home/training, he's just in a pair of basketball shorts and either a simple shirt or wife beater. As for his hair... he either wears it down, or up and intentionally messy. Haircolor? Changes depending on what mood he's in. If anyone's read all of this.. Here's a board on Pinterest

WHAT THEY SMELL LIKE. Matt regularly wears Kouros by YSL, so most likely like that. Unless he just left the Liu residence, then it might mingle with the smell of incense for a while. Occasionally he'll smell like food, because he likes to sneak into the kitchen of some of the restaurants in Chinatown when he's out and about.

WHAT THEY TASTE LIKE. Chances are, he might taste sweet/fruity. Simply because he always has a pocket full of various candy. Either that, or spearmint chewing gum. Because he always carries some of that around as well.

WHAT THEY SOUND LIKE. His voice is generally very calm and on the deeper side. But it gets extra deep when he's either sleepy, incredibly angry and holding himself back, or intentionally drops his voice in certain situations (Kaz knows :)) ). There are exceptions, though: the more excited he gets, the more high-pitched his voice grows, and his laugh in general is very high-pitched in nature when he doesn't hold himself back. Apart from that, when he speaks in English, he does so with a semi-heavy accent.

WHAT THEY FEEL LIKE. Depends on where he's at. When at home, or around his grandfather/clan, he'd feel tense and subdued. Very rarely does he let his actual personality shine through, and it's very obvious that every word and action has been chosen carefully in advance. Once around someone Matt feels he can trust, he kind of feels like a nice breeze on a sunny day: positive and cheerful, always looking for the good in both people and situations, but also very quick-witted and never passing up an opportunity to be a little shit. If someone pays close attention, however, they might also feel a hint of desperation; for approval, for affection and for love.

tagged by: @cartelheir thank you 💜

tagging: steal from me if you haven't done this yet

[feilien]

@draconisa said: “send AFRAID for a scene from my muse’s past in which they were scared / under threat”

{♚ x Glimpses of the Past || Accepting x}

 He should’ve known better. No, he should’ve behaved better.

 Just because his shifu was out sick, didn’t mean that Long Zhi could slack off and do whatever he wanted to do. He should’ve practiced: his breathing, his form, his stances. Anything. Anything would’ve been better than him staying in his room sketching. He knew his grandfather didn’t like it; it was useless, a waste of time. And yet—

 Xiao Dan was furious when he found his grandson sketching in his room. He didn’t show it, of course; he never did. He had too much self-control for that. But even six year old Long Zhi could tell by the way his face had hardened. And if that hadn’t been enough, he most certainly would’ve been able to tell by how tightly his grandfather gripped him by his arm.

 There was no doubt in his mind that there was going to be a bruise by tomorrow, if there wasn’t one already. Not that Long Zhi could tell. His grandfather had thrown him into some kind of tiny closet or storage room as a punishment, and it was so dark that he couldn’t even see his own hand in front of his eyes. If you want to be lazy, I’ll give you a reason to be lazy, Xiao Dan had said as he’d thrown him in there. No apologizing, begging or pleading had made a difference.

 Being in there didn’t bother him too much at first. It was a nice change of pace not having to do anything. Long Zhi couldn’t remember ever having a day in which he wasn’t kept busy from morning until night. But things went from ‘I don’t mind getting a break’ to ‘I think I’m loosing my mind’ as the minutes and hours ticked by.

 Small spaces had never bothered him before. But now the walls, although he couldn’t see them, started to feel as though they were closing in on him. He was sure they were going to swallow him whole soon enough, but no one came to save him. Long Zhi tried everything. He pushed and pulled on the door with all of the strength he could muster. Even so, it wouldn’t budge. Then he started to scream and cry for help, promised to never waste time again. If anyone was out there, however, they chose to ignore him. Or, perhaps, they had been instructed to ignore him.

 After what felt like an eternity of trying, he simply laid down on the floor and curled up into a ball. When the door finally opened up again, Long Zhi was too tired to lift his head. His heart was still racing, his breath labored and he swore he’d never make his grandfather angry ever again.

[feilien]

Matt may have grown up in the US, but he spent the majority of his childhood hardly ever leaving his family's home, let alone Chinatown. Learning English has always been part of his lessons and he can read it and write it perfectly well, but he very rarely got the opportunity to actually speak it properly.

As a result, when he does speak it, he still has a fairly heavy accent.

[feilien]

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

🍔 HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

{♚ x details about ocs! || Accepting x}

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Honestly, I think Matt would absolutely love travelling, but he's never really gotten the chance. Only exception is travelling back and forth between LA and Shanghai maybe once a year; give or take. Besides those two cities, he really hasn't had the opportunity to see and experience much else.

  🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

Answered here 💜

🐷 PIG FACE — what is your oc's favorite animal?

Matt is really fond of dogs in general, but his absolute favourite would probably have to be black panthers. There's no real deep reason for it other than him thinking they look absolutely majestic and ~mysterious~. He also likes to describe himself as a black panther when someone asks him what animal he thinks he's most like. If that's the truth, however, is a different question altogether lmao

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

His family, no questions asked. Now if that stays that way remains to be seen.

🍔 HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

Not in particular. Matt can make basic meals, but that's pretty much where his skills end. There's a chance he might pick up on either one if given the chance, but it's pretty far down on his list of things to learn.

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

The easy answer would be: become a lawyer, and be worthy of, and eventually take over the family clan. The more complicated (or rather, more truthful) answer is: he has no idea. He's never been given the freedom to think about, let alone choose what he wants to do with his life.

😖 CONFOUNDED FACE — is your oc an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert? do they let people in easily, or are they more reserved?

I'd probably say he leans more towards ambivert. When out and about at things like college etc., he very easily makes friends and has no issues letting them in, either. His joy and seemingly neverending energy can easily be infectious, and he's not afraid to approach people. When he's at home, however, he's definitely more reserved and quiet, oftentimes seeking out places he can be by himself.

[feilien]

Been talking a bit about it, so...

Matt might act very casual and oftentimes even cocky, but deep down he's pretty.. lonely. From an early age on, he's been heavily manipulated and starved of affection, just so his grandfather could use it as a proverbial carrot on a stick. Approval and hints of affection were few and far between, so it was easy to get Matt to work exceptionally hard to receive either. And the older he gets, the rarer those rewards get, which means he's willing to go through increasingly greater lengths in pursuit of that particular high. Which leaves him very vulnerable to manipulation of any kind with very minimal effort. Throw some scraps his way and he'll keep coming back for more, regardless of how healthy or unhealthy a situation may be.

On the flip side, it also means he shows and gives more love/affection than one might normally would. Because instead of creating a monster mirror image of himself, Xiao Dan created a boy yearning to love, no matter how much a person might or might not deserve it.

[feilien]

DEMEANOR AND MANNERISMS GUIDE

𝗘𝗬𝗘𝗦 avoids eye contact when nervous ■ maintains eye contact when nervous ■ avoids eye contact due to being neurodivergent ■ enjoys eye contact as a means to read and convey emotion ■ looks down when emotional ■ looks up when emotional ■ cries openly ■ wipes tears quickly ■ suppresses tears ■ wandering gaze when lost in thought ■ holds gaze while thinking ■ seeks out eye contact for reassurance ■ seeks out eye contact to gauge enthusiasm during conversations ■ eyes move constantly during conversation ■ expressive eyes ■ emotions only evident through eyes ■ uses eye contact to intimidate ■ looks up while thinking ■ looks down while thinking

𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗦 clasps behind back ■ rests in lap ■ fidgets with clothes ■ twiddles thumbs ■ chews at nails ■ pushes back cuticles ■ draws patterns on table / counter surfaces ■ animated gestures while speaking ■ only gestures to emphasize ■ utilizes sign language ■ speaks only through sign ■ callouses ■ scars ■ smooth ■ wrinkled ■ worn ■ soft ■ delicate ■ boney ■ slender ■ thick ■ veiny ■ touches others while speaking ■ reaches out while laughing ■ reaches out to comfort others ■ reaches out to seek comfort ■ places face in hands when exasperated ■ places palms over eyes to hide when overwhelmed ■ rests chin in hands ■ taps fingers when impatient ■ taps fingers when nervous ■ taps fingers while thinking ■ scratches scalp ■ strokes chin ■ rubs back of head ■ toys with objects around them ■ runs fingers over surfaces while walking by

𝗠𝗢𝗨𝗧𝗛 chews lip ■ chews at inside of cheek ■ licks lips ■ bites tongue ■ chews on straws ■ resting frown ■ resting smile ■ neutral resting expression ■ resting pout ■ grinds teeth ■ flexes jaw ■ covers mouth when laughing ■ covers mouth when shocked ■ covers mouth when concerned ■ hands to lips while thinking ■ covers mouth when chewing ■ chews with mouth closed ■ chews with mouth open ■ smirks ■ grins ■ subtle smiles ■ wide smiles ■ sad smiles ■ intimidating smiles ■ menacing grins ■ openly smiles ■ tries to suppress smiles ■ bares teeth when angry ■ lips quiver when emotional ■ stutters ■ speaks quickly ■ speaks slowly ■ good pronunciation ■ poor pronunciation ■ moderate pronunciation ■ purses lips ■ sucks in lips ■ holds mouth open when shocked or confused

𝗟𝗘𝗚𝗦 bounces leg when nervous ■ draws knees to chest when sitting ■ draws knees to chest as a means of comfort ■ sits on knees ■ sits with legs criss crossed ■ sits with legs spread open in chairs ■ crosses legs when sitting in chairs ■ sits with one leg folded under the other ■ places feet on furniture ■ never places feet on furniture ■ sits on counters ■ sits on desks ■ sits on tables ■ sits on edge of seat ■ sits hunched over with forearms on knees ■ arches one knee up ■ sits on the arm of chairs / couches ■ feet on dashboard ■ swings legs back and forth when sitting somewhere elevated ■ wiggles toes when nervous ■ wiggles toes as a general tick ■ shuffles feet ■ kicks foot into ground ■ stomps feet ■ loud footsteps ■ quiet footsteps ■ silent footsteps

𝗛𝗔𝗜𝗥 runs fingers through hair ■ tugs at hair ■ picks at scalp ■ chews on hair ■ twists locks of hair while thinking or nervous ■ smooths out locks of hair while thinking or nervous ■ prefers hair out of face ■ prefers long hair ■ prefers short hair ■ wears hair back ■ keeps hair down ■ smooths back hair ■ plays with other’s hair while talking ■ plays with own hair while talking ■ strokes hair to comfort others ■ likes having hair stroked for their own comfort ■ braids others’ hair while talking ■ braids own hair while talking ■ flips hair out of face ■ pushes hair out of face ■ leaves hair alone even when falling into face

tagged by: @draconisa

[feilien]

Eyy. Another small headcanon time: Matt doesn't really have too many hobbies while under his grandfather's thumb, mostly because he just really doesn't have the time for them. There is, however, one: sketching/drawing. He's always loved doodling for as long as he can remember, but was heavily reprimanded at the age of six, when Xiao Dan caught him doodling, instead of studying. Matt subsequently stopped for a good year, until his mother gifted him a sketchbook and a set of pencils; with one stipulation: don't let your grandfather catch you with them.

Terrified that they'd be taken away, Matt kept his supplies hidden for years; either beneath a floorboard in his room, or in a hidden pocket in his backpack when he went to school. Nowadays he usually just keeps it on his person, and uses every free moment he has to indulge in it. Both to improve, and to take his mind off of other things.

[feilien]

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature? 🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's questionable traits /habits? 🍰 SHORTCAKE — what is/are your oc's favorite sweet(s)/dessert(s)?

{♚ x details about ocs! || Accepting x}

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

Answered here 💜

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's questionable traits /habits?

Gullible: A lot of the time he'll take anything and everything at complete face value. He was taught early on in life not to ask questions, and it's definitely something that carried over to later on in life to the point he'll simply believe what someone says. Impulsive: Matt oftentimes acts without really thinking. It doesn't happen quite as often when he's out doing things for his grandfather, because he knows he has to stay sharp and think his actions through then, but in day-to-day life? He'll act, then realize he's done something stupid, then tries to minimize the consequences as best he can. Subservient: Similar to above, Matt was also taught from the moment he could talk not to disobey. Disobedience was met with disappointment, and disappointment is far worse than physical punishment could ever be. So he'll do absolutely everything in a bid to please the people he cares for, even if it comes at an incredibly high cost (like his own mental health, or happiness).

🍰 SHORTCAKE — what is/are your oc's favorite sweet(s)/dessert(s)?

Honestly, Matt will pretty much devour anything sweet when he gets the chance, but one of his favourites is actually a fairly simple one: Dou sha bao, or red bean paste buns. It's both good, and also somewhat nostalgic and always reminds him of his childhood

[feilien]

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature? (i saw this one and had to send it too)

{♚ x details about ocs! || Accepting x}

The quite obvious answer to this one would be one of the many dragons that exist within Chinese mythology. And Matt definitely does like dragons, but his favourite would probably have to be the Fengsheng Shou (风生兽). And because I suck at summaries, have this one: A leopard-like Chinese mythical creature with a nearly impregnable hide. It could be killed by repeatedly striking its head, but upon wind entering its mouth, would instantly be revived. (Thus “fengsheng,” which means wind-born).

Why exactly does he like it? No super particular reason, other than that his grandmother used to tell him stories about it before she passed away and he always thought it was super badass. Sometimes it's just as simple as that, really.  

[feilien]

Matt is honestly pretty blind and wears glasses the majority of the time. Only exception is when he's training martial arts, or is out on jobs/missions. He'll wear contact lenses then (but keeps his glasses on him just in case).

[feilien]

💭, 🖊️, 🎻 & 🎶 !!

{♚ x details about ocs! || Accepting x}

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — what is your oc’s MBTI, enneagram, and/or other personality aspects (if known/interested in)?

MBTI: ESFJ aka "The Caregiver" or "The Consul", without a doubt

Enneagram: The Enthusiast, although a handful of those characteristic are definitely being stifled by his upbringing and don't kick in until after he gets away from it

Not sure what other personality aspects there are, other than, like.. moral alignment, Hogwarts house etc? Give me precise instructions, damn it lol

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

He does have his black dragon half sleeve, but nothing else besides that yet. Eventually he'll probably expand it to be a full sleeve, and add on to that chest piece as well. Before probably getting started on his left arm, because, let's be real, there's no stopping once you've started lmao.

🎻 VIOLIN — does your oc play any instruments? what is their skill level (beginner/intermediate/advanced/virtuoso/etc)?

When Matt was younger, he did learn to play the pipa upon the insistence of his mother. He enjoys it and definitely likes the sound of it, but hasn't really had the chance to properly practice and learn something new in a long time. So nowadays he's decent, but by no means exceptional. He can play basic pieces after reacquainting himself, and could perhaps manage something a bit more difficult if he takes the time to practice and memorize it, but that's about it. Definitely not a musical prodigy.

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

Matt listens to a lot of music tbh. What kind of music depends on what he's doing. When he's training (martial arts, knife skills, general working out) he tends to listen to rock or rap/rock. Stuff that gets you pumped up, essentially. When he's studying, he tends to go with lofi beats, or instrumental music (often with traditional Chinese influences) to help him focus. Any other time he'll just let his music run on shuffle and pretty much anything is fair game except for a few select genres maybe.

[feilien]

Matt and various weapons...

Guns — Not his preferred choice of weapon, but he does carry a concealed one at all times (if he's out on a mission, he tends to wear a shoulder holster), just in case. He's a decent enough shot, but Matt prefers to go the quiet/stealth route, so it's a last resort for when shit goes down and there's no other option.

Knives — His go to weapons. He tends to carry several of them at any given time, concealed throughout several parts of his body. There's usually a normal knife/dagger, several throwing knives, and one slender bladed knife.

Poison Darts — Unlike the other two, Matt doesn't usually have those on him, unless he anticipates needing them. The poison he uses (concentrated cone snail poison) is just a little too dangerous to be carrying around casually. That being said, it's definitely one of his most effective weapons. As long as it hits its target, it's guaranteed to take it down within moments.

His hands — Not a weapon per se, but Matt is incredibly skilled in martial arts and therefore a serious threat in close combat; even without his knives. His chosen discipline is changquan (長拳) (though he's also dabbled in jianshu (剑术), but there's very little practical use for it), and he's been training since he was old enough to understand and take in lessons.

[feilien]

20, 24, 28, 52 and 54 👀

{♚ x WEIRDLY SPECIFIC BUT HELPFUL CHARACTER BUILDING QUESTIONS ||  Accepting x}

20. Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don’t like the person?

I'd probably say the person he likes, but whose work he hates might be his own father tbh. Mostly because he does love his father, but he's listened to his grandfather call him weak (and therefore incapable of leading the clan) for so many years, that he kind of adapted that point of view. On the flip side, he hates his grandfather's right-hand man because he's a fucking dick, but there's no denying that he's good at what he does.

24. Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

Pfft, yeah, he sure did. And he thought he was slick about it, too, but he tends to give himself away lmao. But.. Doesn't matter, because the while chocolate macadamia nut cookie is long gone.

28. What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Depending on who he talks to, it's either 'yeah, I definitely want to become a lawyer', or, 'yeah, I definitely want to take over the clan once my grandfather dies'. And, honestly? He believes both of those things to be absolutely true. He never really had a chance to think about what he himself truly wants. Even studying to become a lawyer, while his own decision, was heavily influenced.

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

Honestly, it kind of depends on the situation. As a general rule of thumb, Matt's pretty impulsive and tends to carry his heart on his sleeve, so he oftentimes acts on his immediate emotions. When he's out on a job/mission (whatever you want to call it), however, he's more focused and tends to consider all angles before acting, because he's very much aware of the stakes.

54. What’s their instinct in a fight / flight / freeze / fawn situation?

Fight: Well.. Fight tbh. It's what he trains for day in, day out, after all. Flight: Even if Matt feels like fleeing might be the smarter thing to do, he tends to try and fight his way out first. Mostly bc he's been taught that fleeing = failing. And failure is not an option. Freeze: Years of training have made it very rare for Matt to freeze. But when he does, he tries to at least contemplate his options, so he can react the second he manages to pull himself together. Fawn: Pretty much immediate submission tbh? Which can range from apologies to offering his services in some shape or form.

[feilien]

💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

{♚ x details about ocs! || Accepting x}

Matt is definitely a light sleeper. For one, because he rarely sleeps enough to reach the REM or deep sleep stages, and two, because he's unconsciously always on guard.

If there's any kind of noise that sounds like someone walking up to his room, opening his door, or calling his name, he'll be up and standing within seconds. If it sounds like it could be a threat, he'll be standing up with a knife in his hand. He makes sure to keep one on his nightstand at all times.

As for his sleeping habits, Matt doesn't have any too out of the ordinary. He usually sleeps in a pair of shorts or sweatpants, a t-shirt if it's cold, and has to fall asleep with some background noise to shut out the noise of his brain.

[feilien]

Adding on to this that he also picks up painting once he's out from underneath his grandfather's thumb. Watercolor specifically. And if it wasn't so forgiving/fairly easy to wash off, would probably be covered in paint about 24/7. Mostly because he tends to forget he's still holding a damn brush when adjusting his glasses.

Eyy. Another small headcanon time: Matt doesn't really have too many hobbies while under his grandfather's thumb, mostly because he just really doesn't have the time for them. There is, however, one: sketching/drawing. He's always loved doodling for as long as he can remember, but was heavily reprimanded at the age of six, when Xiao Dan caught him doodling, instead of studying. Matt subsequently stopped for a good year, until his mother gifted him a sketchbook and a set of pencils; with one stipulation: don't let your grandfather catch you with them.

Terrified that they'd be taken away, Matt kept his supplies hidden for years; either beneath a floorboard in his room, or in a hidden pocket in his backpack when he went to school. Nowadays he usually just keeps it on his person, and uses every free moment he has to indulge in it. Both to improve, and to take his mind off of other things.