#{/i also remembered this fucking banger of a line and decided to share it here}

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 46-69

another confused jumble of personal highlighs, shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends’ ears off irl. For whom it may concern.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still

Okay they’re in the feywild and somehow the players manage to get even hornier. I guess I’m impressed?

That libertarian fairy tho. Why are little pixie jerks with trash politics always so funny

(Emily catches on to their opponent being a woman because Murph made a point of referring to the knight with they/them pronouns) “Interesting. My subtle sexism gave me away. I’m a bad guy.”

This lady spent a year with her frozen children in a chest in her living room?! Okay. Sure. Uh huh. Cool story bro 😬

Five Guys Burgers and... Flies

Ngl a little shocked at how decent Murph’s elf voice is

“I know a game! It’s called ‘don’t stab me!’ I give the gnome a knife.” “He magically produces some bread, spreads some butter on it, and casts produce flame. Look! Magical toast!” “NOBODY EAT THAT!!”

“You two haven’t seen each other in a while, and the kids are indisposed, so -“ “Okay. Jesus Christ. I was down for kind of a spicy joke there, but let’s not… the kids aren’t indisposed because they went bowling with their aunt, the kids are frozen with a curse.”

Murph, as a gnome, but barely keeping it together: “In actual recorded episodes, have you guys met any gnomes that are murderers? Really, did they murder someone? Like… what did they do and then what did you do to them…?”

"There's a war coming, and everyone needs to fight. Even old men who don't know how." First of all, this is a banger of a line

but also my degree has officially ruined me for stories because I was immediately and ominously reminded of the last months of WWII on the Axis side what with all the apocalypse rhetoric and poorly armed children and old men sent out to probably die in war. like this is 100 percent unintentional and I realise that but my reaction to this line was "holy shit" and then immediately "... has Alanis also gone fascist"

Murph usually: Oh you want something? You want something to help you out here? Okay how are you gonna pay for that? What are you gonna give up to get that? Murph with Emily: Oh you got attached to your purely decorative fictional earrings? … I would never take those away from you keep them :) have a magical gun on the house :)

“Cool it with the fucking drugs!” “Hardwon, you’re one to talk!!”

Love it when Murph sets up a high DC on something and they get it and all immediately vigorously come for his ass, there is truly nothing funnier than people pretending to take something so personally

Murph keeps saying “she shakes her head yes” which is either an established bit of world building or an odd Murphism they’ve all collectively decided to accept? Both are very endearing but also I was so confused the first five times he did it

Local catholic desperately trying to get his friends to have the biblically correct response to angels (fear)

“Twenty-three damage with an axe???!” in the squeakiest voice possible, and then in the same voice: “What lands first, his body or his head?” “His head!!!!”

Finally someone makes the “Janie’s got a gun” joke, I have no idea why but I’ve waited this entire fight for someone to do that! Thank you Caldwell!

“Can I do a dog whistle?” “You’re gonna say something racist and see if they follow it?”

“Brothers! The Goddess has blessed us! There is milk in this casket!”

Also somehow every joke gets 100 percent funnier once it has managed to break the DM

“I summon Pellor’s four Lieutenants, the Beach Boys.”

Pawpaw as the BOB's legal council is the gift that keeps on giving. I don't even remember how it started but every time Jake goes "a brilliant legal mind" in that reverent voice I lose my shit. Also I adore how at the beginning it was all 'oh it's funny because Hardwon thinks this possum is actually good at law stuff and meanwhile Pawpaw can't fucking read' and now Pawpaw is just. legitimately functioning as their lawyer.

“Balnor, what’s your favourite food?” *audible fuckfuckfuckfuck silence from Murph* “…Chicken.”

So anticlimactic. Holy shit. Murph literally rigging the game so none of the others would give it away only to have that immediately blow up in his face

“Oh, the Goblinity!”

Hardwon getting really into "Chasing Cars"

Murph's cultural knowledge is such a fucking enigma to me every time I'm like "oh that guy wouldn't know anything ab-" and then he just. knows the first song on Snow Patrol's "Eyes Open" off the top of his head. I spent a whole vacation listening exclusively to that CD as a teen and I had to look it up. He was right. He wasn’t even the one who started the Snow Patrol bit.

Anyway thank you everyone that song will be permanently stuck in my head for the next five to eight business days

“You deserve a little emo phase”

“Pawpaw is giving you a pedicure. Meanwhile the king is suffocating in the bag.” “Oh shit!”

“So one thing you know about me is that everything I love dies so, stay away, haha!”

“I have enough queens.”

There have been a bunch of uncomfortable descriptors in this campaign but “like an exotic sunkissed lover” is definitely the worst one so far. Murph. Sir. No.

-

Just Murph's weak "okay..." as Emily decides to sniff the two Hardwons' necks to suss out the doppelganger

The verve of Murph’s Moonshine impression compared to his barely-there attempt to do a Jake voice for Hardwon

That one incredibly dumb dude in Shadowfell. Oh my GOD. Like in so many stories there is a “dumb” character, you know, one who will be described with the one brain cell meme but this dude. This dude literally only has the one brain cell. Just enough to be standing, breathing and talking at the same time. Fucking incredible. Murph continues to be way too good at making characters so deeply pathetic

“Go drink too much cough syrup!” “I can’t!” “Why?” “‘cause it tastes bad, man!”

Brennan’s and Murph’s genuine excitement to reverse their usual dynamic veering off into “we’re 69-ing now but he’s been going at me for a long time and I haven’t given him anything.” in less than thirty seconds

Seriously tho you can hear both Brennan and Murph buzzing with delight at a frequency that could shatter glass

“Brennan, you can say ‘my’. You’re playing, dude, you can say ‘my’.” “My hand, me, I’m playing, I’m a person! I’m only one person!” “You’re playing!” “You’re doing it!”

“What about Melv? Remember Melv? He’s dead.”

Brennan has so much knowledge of like historical customs and everyday items and their names and uses but rarely uses it, and meanwhile Murph is trying his damndest to sprinkle stuff in for medieval flavour but has a shaky grasp on what these things actually ARE. Case in point, Brennan immediately knowing how to explain a wimple vs. Murph claiming the peasant was wearing “suspenders over a dirty tunic”. Suspenders?? My guy. What are they holding up? The hem of the tunic? Tunics go OVER the leg garment how would this work. Are you using this as a fancy word for shirt. Also suspenders weren’t a thing until the 19th century. Not saying you can’t mix and match cowboy and medieval peasant aesthetic but it’s gotta logistically work, Murph! It's gotta make sense!

“You hear a woman screaming-“ “No, Murph, we were going shopping 😩” “You never let us do anything fun!”

Brennan’s little love language of absorbing every last bit of his friends’ worlds’ lore like a sponge so he can weave his narrative and/or character into the world like a perfect medieval tapestry!!!!

Every time Emily goes out of her way to back up her every move with rules as written not for the DM but for some idiot in the audience, my heart breaks a bit. Back the fuck off indeed.

That said, Brennan being extra meticulous about HIS finite resources is hilarious and good

“I would say he didn’t have to worry about it but then he was doing sixty points of damage per attack so he does have to worry about it I decided”

#wherewasbalnor

"It's a... I don't want to use the word 'wimple' again"

"Deadeye and Hardwon, you guys just hear this cacophony of idiocy..."

"So my little sister in there and slim with the gift of Pellor, they good at staying on task?" "Um...."

A Kiwi dwarf, fantastic choice. No notes.

“We can crawl through the small false wall?” English is so broken

Pawpaw as Deadeye’s literal right hand! Delightful. Murph’s D20 TA energy come to life in the coolest way

“You bloodsucking bourgeoise pig, you keep your dirty fangs off my sister!”

“You’re the best part of me” Brennan 😭 Emily 😭 brb dissolving into a puddle on the floor for a second

He’s back in the Crick UGH 💔 ah fuck Brennan and Murph tag-teaming on the heartbreak never fails to get me

It's so fascinating how much they play to each other's strengths whenever they're really going for the jugular: on D20, Brennan will hit Murph with just the most quietly awful version of "here's your character's worst (perceived) failure you can never fully make right, and you're faced with an opportunity to try but we both know you won't take it" (cf. Kug's interactions with David or "you can go to the castle where the dogs are or you can go back to your frog pond"), and in return Murph took Deadeye back to the home that was forever lost to him and that he'd missed so much and let him become everything he ever wanted to be. Forgiven despite his shortcomings. They're beating each other at their own game, Murph's stories are so much about consequences and guilt and responsibility and Brennan's are so much about hope and grace and second chances, and that is so present in the stories they tell for each other?? I am upset this is beautiful

The Wimple Warriors

So Murph knew enough about Snow Patrol to not only sing the refrain of You’re All I Have but to know where it was on the album… but not enough to remember the title of Chasing Cars?? How are you the way that you are

JV!! God that *was* a beautiful scene though, such immediate quiet kindness, what a way to go <3

“I went to the Red Fenn and all I got was unceremoniously murdered.”

“He’s saying yes too much, we’re making some kind of mistake…”

Moonshine: "The rapport spores got hacked, everyone! Don't say anything you wouldn't tell the world right now!" Emily, not five minutes before this, on a very popular podcast: "Out of character, [unlike Moonshine] I got some very recently, but..."

The fact that this moment got no audible reaction and is as easily removable as an audio clip can get (no crosstalk, a brief pause before and after it, no impact on what was said afterwards) but it's still left in is so funny knowing who does the editing

Murph introducing a skeletal kitty for thinly veiled emotional manipulation purposes

*delivers upsetting news to Moonshine* "Would it make you feel better if you borrowed my cat?" "...Moonshine bursts into tears."

"Pawpaw looks hurt and betrayed for a second, like he's gonna turn away, but then he can't help it." "Should we go, too, or do you think she needs a familiar touch tonight? Something only Pawpaw can give..." I reiterate, funniest. self-insert. character. ever. Also as ever excellent punnage from Caldwell.

“You are a freak but you’re pretending not to be, which makes you the most boring kind of person.”

“Pawpaw is the only one who has complete plot armour. I will kick him from time to time, but I won’t kill him.” It's so unlike Murph to declare plot armour on anyone, and also so like him to have it be Pawpaw.

Hardwon and Moonshine's relationship, regardless of where it's going, is just lovely. Zero judgement, no expectations, just so much affection and support. They're so corny (affectionate)

[stepswowdsen]

KuroEne AU: Ene gets intimate with Kuroha (Part 1)

(CW: NSFW~ish, suggestive/sexually implicit mentions)

Canon-verse AU where Ene can manifest in the real world (since I'm taking creative liberties here for the sake of my ship) and even becomes intimate with Kuroha. Very angst heavy.

Takes place in an AU setting close to canon, except the only difference is that Ene can manifest in the real world (unlike in canon where she can only interact with the digital world in devices)

Especially with all the time loop resets, you could see this as an AU where Kuroha/Saeru finally manages to figure out how to make Ene able to manifest in the real world as well.

It was kinda inspired by the Copybots of MMBN/EXE (Battle Network: 6) where Iris, a NetNavi (Network Navigator, companion digital AI), interacts with Netto in a Copybot (Android body) in the real world.

I'll be posting my KuroEne AU dialogue script WIPs here. I need to come up with a name for the AU eventually… I've been drafting ideas

Fair warning, some of these scenes are just me coming up with dialogue, so some of them are not in order. It's mainly just me drafting ideas

I'll be honest y'all some of the most banger dialogue I've ever written was for the KuroEne AU like OMGGG

I wanted to try my hand at practicing writing JP. I decided to put the romaji since I have mutuals/friends following me who are learning JP or may be interested! I think reading the JP version gives an extra nuance to the text that isn't there with English (characters' individual speech styles and quirks)

Line breaks are either transitions to different scenes or reminders of what I eventually need to add to

More refined dialogue scripts

Ene tops and hate fucks Kuroha/Saeru (The Snake of Clearing Eyes)

I imagined this to happen after their first time. Ene gets embarrassed and hides under a pile of blankets after remembering what they just did. The easily flustered tsun wifey of mine <3

Ene asks what to call Kuroha/Saeru

Unsorted Dialogue Scripts

These dialogue scripts are not refined and just me coming up with ideas. I'll eventually add to them

These ones are not refined yet (out of order) and just me coming up with ideas

Ene tries guessing how many times he's done this with her in previous routes

Ene asks Kuroha to tell her about his memories of previous routes and gets flustered

KuroEne AU Set-up

KuroEne (Kuroha/Saeru x Ene) is using the HaruTaka (Haruka x Takane) and KonoEne (Konoha x Ene) ships (which are interconnected) as a basis for it.

I imagined that, Kuroha, who keeps memories of previous routes, at some point, started to play around in the routes. He eventually gets to know and bond and spend time with Ene, due to the vast knowledge he carries of previous routes.

Though eventually, Kuroha proceeds with the "Plan" on August 15th to kill everyone in the Mekakushi Dan and make Marry into the new Medusa so she can rewind the world, causing an infinite time loop in which he will be able to live forever.

I imagine Kuroha eventually found a way for Ene to be able to transfer into an android body so she'd no longer have to be stuck in electronic devices like in canon… He even gets intimate with her. Ene hate fucks Kuroha/Saeru (when she finds out about his real identity)

Kuroha has been intimate with Ene before and keeps memories of previous routes. He knows about the context of the Mekakushi Dan, therefore, knows about Ene's past as Takane (and her relationships with Haruka and Konoha)

I think KuroEne has a very unique context that makes their relationship dynamic sooo interesting to think about. It has the most conflict and tension out of all of Takane/Ene's ships due to it being with the series' big bad villain/antagonist who's the main source of conflict and tension in KagePro.

Takane/Ene was in love with her classmate Haruka from 2 years ago. Kuroha is also possessing the body of Konoha (the remade body of Haruka who doesn't share Haruka's memories), and so, has the same face, voice, and body as them.

Ene hates him, but a part of her feels inexplicably drawn to him.

You can read the rest of my rambles under the cut if you wanna see how it started

Context

Ok I'm just gonna explain the context of these characters and the setting (just in case it's needed)

Kuroha (Saeru)

Kuroha (クロハ), officially known as The Snake of Clearing Eyes (目が冴える蛇, Me ga Saeru Hebi) or Black Konoha (黒コノハ, Kuro Konoha) when possessing Konoha’s body, is the main antagonist of KagePro who causes the “Tragedy” of the Mekakushi Dan (Blindfold Gang) members.

Kuroha (fandom nickname), or Saeru (true name), is an Eye Ability snake created by the medusa, Azami, due to her wish of wanting to know who she was. He was created even before the world was created, before human civilization even existed.

He tricked Azami into creating the Kagerou (Heat Haze) Daze, a never ending world that swallows up people who die on August 15th. The people with strong desires, who are compatible with Eye Ability Snakes (according to their wishes) return to life to the real world with an Eye Ability.

He is an evil snake that possesses humans' vessels. In every route, he eventually finds ways to possess Konoha's body to kill everyone in the Mekakushi Dan (Blindfold Gang), the main cast, forcing Marry (the granddaughter of Azami, the original Medusa), to turn into her Medusa form and use her powers to rewind the world, because she can't bear to live without her friends.

He retains memories of previous routes (past timelines).

In the context of a KuroEne AU, he knows about Ene's love for her former classmate, Kokonose Haruka, whom she was in love with, and the conflicted feelings she has for Konoha.

Ene (Enomoto Takane)

Ene is a cyber girl and Mekakushi Dan member no. 6. Her true identity is Enomoto Takane.

2 years ago, she was put into a special needs class with her classmate Kokonose Haruka, who she eventually fell in love with and befriended. She was a chronically ill special needs student that had an illness that'd cause her to fall asleep and faint even if she got.

She never manages to tell Haruka how she feels about him before her death. She eventually dies and enters the Kagerou Daze and comes out with an Eye Ability, becoming a pseudo immortal cyber girl.

The people who die and enter the Kagerou Daze (Heat Haze Daze) and get an Eye Ability, gets one that responds to their greatest wish back when they were alive.

It would cause her to fall asleep in random places no matter how much sleep she got. Her human self was more aloof, stand~offish, distanced from others, easily irritable.

Takane wanted a "body that'd never get tired" in response to her chronic illness, so she ended up being reborn as a pseudo-immortal cyber girl, Ene. She lost her human body and got one that never requires sleep.

As Ene, she purposefully acts selfish, bratty, spoiled, energetic and chipper, peppy and quirky. She still holds onto her feelings for Haruka.

Kokonose Haruka

Haruka was Takane's classmate and friend, caring and soft-spoken with a cheerful personality. It was heavily implied he also had feelings for her, but had a serious illness that'd cause him to die at a young age.

He truly mourned being unable to spend more time with his friends and innerly resented his situation and wanted to be able to live longer to be with them (and Takane).

Haruka was an artist and created the designs for "Konoha" and "Ene" as their video game personas.

When Haruka died from his illness, he entered the Kagerou (Heat Haze) Daze. The Snake of Awakening Eyes recreated his body to fulfill his wish to have "a strong body to be friends with," it took the form of Konoha, Haruka's video game character.

But Haruka rejected it, realizing that Konoha's body was not the one he truly wished for, so the Snake of Awakening Eyes returned to the real world as Konoha, while Haruka's mind/consciousness stayed trapped inside the Kagerou Daze.

Konoha

Konoha is the Snake of Awakening Eyes in Haruka's remade body, but he doesn't have Haruka's soul (or memories).

He is Mekakushi Dan member No. 9. Gentle and aloof.

Ene remembers Konoha as the game character Haruka made. She recognizes him, thinking of him as Haruka at first, and expresses her feelings and memories of 2 years to him. But he tells her that he doesn't know her, causing her to be distraught.

Ene refuses to think of him as the same as Haruka and calls him an impostor instead.

She thinks of him as an acquaintance/friend but can't help but care for him, even though she thinks of him as different than Haruka…

So this is how this AU started

May 8th Rambles

This is gonna sound crazy guys but I kinda wanna draw a R-17 (sexually implicit) KuroEne AU comic in canon-verse (but unlike in canon, Ene can manifest in the real world cuz I'm taking some creative liberties) where KuroEne hate fuck but it's Ene on top

In canon, Ene can only interact with the cyber world in electronic devices. But a lot of Ene fanarts (including from official artists) and KonoEne, KuroEne, and Ene ship fanarts in general draw Ene being able to manifest in the real world and interact with others for the sake of ship art

Ik that in most of KuroEne's ship arts it's Kuroha on top (Understandable Ig since Ene seems very… bottom ngl), but come on guys… This mf should get pegged too. Come see what it's like, bitch ass snake

Well if I draw it, nothing's gonna be showing, it's just gonna be clothed intimacy cuz it just looks sexier to me imo

And Kuroha licks his lips like, "In all the routes, I've never gotten to see this side of you before. Ene-- No. Takane--"

"Take a good look. At the face of your precious Haruka, that you love so much-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up…!"

Oh yeah, I want to talk more about my KuroEne ideas since I've been having lots of thoughts. So I can ramble about my ideas (and what I forgot to post before), re: Ene tops Kuroha and he lets her out of curiosity.

Also I think I'm just gonna type Kuroha in my JP notes cuz I swear if I have to type 黒コノハ（クロハ） -> Kuro Konoha (Kuroha) every single time…

Kuroha: Take a good look… at the face of your precious Haruka, whom you love so much… (*) Kuroha: Yoku miro… Omae ga aishite yamanai, taisetsu na Haruka no kao wo…)

In the literal sense, this could be translated as "The face of your precious Haruka, who you'll always/forever love…" But I chose the cleaner TL ofc

I added the JPN underneath to practice (and cuz I have mutuals who are learning JP so it'd be helpful!) Also I feel like reading the JP next to it honestly adds? English is so fucking boring as a language to me, and reading the JP gives you a much better sense of the characters' different speech styles and variety.

As said before, everyone in English just sounds the same, or like Shakespeare (using more poetic formal English), or a cowboy. I got to include nuances with the furigana too, since Takane/Ene refers to Haruka with the katakana version of his name ハルカ (Haruka)

The dialogue is honestly not very NSFW, like only a couple of the lines are sexually suggestive but I put a warning cuz of the context LOL. Irt to "I never got to see this side of you before" he means it when seeing the kind of determined expression she has when she tops him

Oh yeah the only reason why I don't space out my Notion docs is cuz it wastes space 😭 I can fit more lines in my screenshots if I don't do that. I was considering highlighting the romaji to differentiate things more

As said before, I skimmed some chapters in the manga and he uses Boku (僕) in Outer Science, and Ore (俺) in Manga Route 2 (at least the chapters that I checked). So I just went with Ore/Omae pronouns for him in this

I might fix for grammar adjustments of the JP lines later. I'm still learning so I'm always adjusting/adding to my ideas

Since Kuroha can use Awakening Eyes in Konoha's body to completely rebuild the body and change his appearance, he could definitely change to Haruka's exact appearance if he wanted to, something that would be absolutely devastating to Ene… who still holds onto her love and feelings for Haruka. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write a scene like that (so it's just Kuroha's usual appearance), but the idea came to me

Kuroha/Saeru remembers previous routes… And so he uses that knowledge to his advantage. In this kind of KuroEne AU setting, he would have intimate knowledge of her biggest deepest secrets, feelings, and insecurities/vulnerabilities.

In this case he points out her inability to be honest about her feelings, and how she often runs away from having to confront them. She gets frustrated when he points out (exposes) her tendency to be annoyed by and deny her feelings.

And that's why he gets so amused by the "There is nothing between us" line cuz she says to create distance between him and her. It obviously isn't true considering the situation of intimacy, but it shows how far her tendency to deny her feelings goes. So then he says, "Tell me who you're doing this with?"

So it's like "You [Ene] can no longer say 'I'm doing this because I have to,' because no, you don't have to be doing this right now"

I'm honestly tempted to add a few lines like this:

Ene: Why isn't this Konoha-- or Haruka right now…!?

Kuroha: (You're so foolish. You're the one who wants it. That's why you're doing this in the first place, no?)

And when Ene asks about his "In all the previous routes" comment, she asks if he's lying considering how he twists words, but he goes like, "Yes, we have been in this situation before"

"XX" is based off the fact that there's an unknown (XX) number of routes aside from the main ones (Music Route, Light Novel Route, Manga Route, Anime Route)

I forgot specifics of his speech pattern tbh but he switches to more polite forms in the last line, where he says he remembers their instances of intimacy in previous routes, "If you wish, I can tell you all about [those times]"

Since he is the being that "feeds on peoples' wishes" and works towards fulfilling its current Master's wish, but makes sure the wish is never completely fulfilled.

Debating whether or not I should write him listing them off…

But ngl I kinda want a scene where after they're finished, Ene is flustered like "WHAT DID I JUST DO???" but also acts standoffish tsun like "We are done here!!!"

"Leaving so soon? That's so cold, Ene~ Stick around. This game is far from over. I won't let the fun end that easily."

5/9 Rambles

Oh yeah I wrote a bit more for my KuroEne AU today in the context of intimacy

But yeah I want a scene where after they're finished, Ene gets all tsun tsun embarrassed and hides under the blankets, sulking… Wifey

5/11 Rambles

I was thinking about this for the past few weeks but imo what makes Kuroha ships in canon-verse harder to deal with compared to the rest of my faves, other than what I mentioned before (*) is that Kuroha/Saeru fundamentally has a power imbalance with any character he's paired with, due to his character setup and role.

(*) = How canon-verse Kuroha/Saeru almost completely lacks humanity and soft traits and primarily exists as the series' big bad and provide sources of tension and conflict by killing the Dan

Kuroha/Saeru inevitably has a power imbalance over every character he's paired with, so you have to tread carefully with his ships. It can definitely still be done tho. I do try to alleviate things as much as possible, though, like how he lets her (Ene) have a form of control in intimacy.

(Anyways the Kuroha and Azami LN cover by Sidu is so good??? Sidu has such a godly aesthetic sense)

The Snake of Clearing Eyes (Me ga Saeru Hebi) seems to hold power over "knowledge" itself. He was with Azami before the world was even created, as one of her Eye Ability snakes (one of Azami's snakes).

So. This guy has knowledge of everything from the birth of civilization. And he remembers previous "routes" (timelines) too. Therefore… For all of the Mekakushi Dan members, he knows their most vulnerable secrets, how they died, what their greatest wish was (what made them compatible with an Eye Ability in the first place), etc.

Even if he relinquishes control in intimacy (in AU settings, I imagine he does this mainly out of curiosity), he's still the main mastermind pulling the strings (in terms of the plot), so he still has a leg up/advantage over anyone he's paired with

5/11 Rambles (Continued)

Kuroha/Saeru inevitably has a power imbalance with every character that he could be paired with due to his role as the big bad villain that kills the Mekakushi Dan by overpowering and outsmarting them through his wide degree of knowledge and manipulation tactics.

He has an advantage over them in every single way (physically, in power, and in terms of knowledge). Saeru was created when the medusa Azami first wanted to know who she was (he was born from her first, original, strongest desire).

He was there even before Azami, the original Medusa and Marry's grandmother, first created the world with Combining Eyes (the queen Snake that Marry now possesses), so he's fucking ancient, and so, he carries the knowledge from the very beginning of civilization to the modern age. He also remembers previous routes.

So. This guy has knowledge of everything from the birth of civilization. And he remembers previous "routes" (timelines) too. Therefore… For all of the Mekakushi Dan members, he knows their most vulnerable secrets, how they died, what their greatest wish was (what made them compatible with an Eye Ability in the first place), etc.

Though ofc with Kuroha, I do try my best to make the setting/dynamic as healthy as possible with Kuroha ships. As healthy as you can get with canon-verse Kuroha, anyways.

My mutual @/kichelmi on Insta was talking about this with me, that it fits really well with them to make Ene more dominant and assertive in the ship, because it's not like he can't have it (control), but that with his knowledge of the time loops, he wants to see her confident self take the reigns and see what's similar and different from previous routes.

And yeah! The fact that he lets Ene have more control in intimacy and be more assertive/dominant seems like it would also play up to his ego, because they both know that he could turn the tables at any moment. He gets to watch and experience what it's like to have someone else take the lead and see how they'll act, and Ene can be so predictably unpredictable that it keeps things fun for him.

That's why I think making Ene more assertive and dominant in the ship does alleviate the power imbalance that Kuroha/Saeru inevitably has in his ships. It also does balance things out more.

Shitpost

Kinda wanna make a joke/shitpost meme like

Ene: (<- Would fuck a snake) (<- Having an existential Crisis)

(Applies to both Kuroha and Konoha) Humanoid snek…

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Summer Nights (3)

A/N: INDEX

Warnings: alcohol, language, sexual alludes, and... that’s it??

Word Count: 3.7k

Tags: @war-sword @paradigmax @winnsmills @idkatee @bforbroadway @okaydraco

So her name was Y/N.

Draco couldn't help himself but wonder about her for the past few days, after their encounter in the restaurant. As he thought more and more of her, he decided she was more of a changeable person, judging on what he had learned about her; timid and coy one day in the lobby when he first arrived, and plainly confident on another when she approached him to return his fucking wand.

And did she believe in that fictive tale about him playing a magician? Did she sense his sudden abashment when she started to question him on the subject?

He blamed himself for the whole situation, which could have never happened if he only were more careful. He assumed he had lost the wand when his mother furiously dragged him back to his hotel room from the bar he had stopped by for a while. Perhaps, it was when he had handed the receptionist, Y/N, the letter, and it just dropped out of his pocket as he was taking an envelope out.

Fortunately for him, it found its way back. So he didn't have to trouble his head with that now, right?

One issue, however, stuck to his thoughts and vividly came back every time he glanced at his hand, only to see blurry words written with a hard-to-efface ink. Of course, by none other than Y/N.

A few days back, she had scribbled her name and a number on his palm, and since then, he tried to figure out what it was for. He knew he couldn't walk out to the city and stop people in the middle of the pavement to ask for an explanation for the note because it would be as irrational and bizarre as it sounds. The second thought was to ask his mother for an additional conjecture about that by sending an owl. But then he quickly remembered, he didn't have access to any of owls here and -- so and so -- he didn't know the address Narcissa was staying at.

So both options were excluded.

Soon enough, however, the situation cropped up. Someday around six in the morning, still sound asleep and immersed in the dreams, the strange, alarming sound rang up in his bedroom, echoing off the walls and waking half of the death of him as he heard it. He flopped off his bed with the sheets falling along with him, and he began looking for the source of the noise. Then he noticed: a white handset and a set of ten digits next to it; he picked it up -- it was only a hotel checking up if he needed anything.

From then on, everything lined up and made a perfectly logical sense in his head -- it was a muggle device to communicate with each other. If you were desperate enough not to meet up with somebody in the real-life, you were likely to click nine digits and either meet with the receiver's voice or voicemail on the other side. So here was a purpose of the number.

Draco also discovered these things were so-called phones. And they were sold in various forms and types like the models of brooms in the Wizarding World -- from less to most exclusive ones. Little did his consciousness helped him, but after an hour, he was already out in the city and walking next to the shops' exhibitions and searching for an electronics store to buy himself one of those.

Why did he want to buy the phone? He could lie and say that it was only in case of emergency. But admitting truthfully to himself, he felt a nagging curiosity about those devices and wanted to understand this part of the muggle world. And something, more of a hunch than reasoning, told him that he soon might be needing one of those.

Later that day, after wandering for almost an hour and stepping into some cafeteria for lunch, he was finally holding a fucking iPhone in his hand. It had a lot of fancy shining buttons and a small, black partly-bitten apple on the back, and some kind of virtual assistant (at least that's what he had heard from a salesman) Siri with a very posh British accent. Having been advised to purchase it, Draco did so even without a second thought.

He paid for it with some muggle money his mother provided him before her departure, and walked out of the store, having it packed in a nice paper bag with a receipt and a SIM card. He decided on opening it when he reaches his room, and meanwhile, look around the area for some entertainment or something in those terms, to preoccupy himself.

Actually, Draco hadn't been too much in foreign countries, and hauling him out to Muggle London was a miracle, much more to Muggle Paris. He could find a similarity, but it was much different here -- cars honking at each other at the traffic jam; countless shops with clothes; restaurants with delicious food; people babbling at one another in French but also in Italian and German, and English. It was chaotic; it was loud, and he had to watch his feet in order to not trip over by someone else.

Draco felt lost in that mess. Random people encouraging him to visit the shops he would never intend to drop by, strangers pushing him in a rush and mumbling indistinct 'Sorry' for stepping on his shoes, some even too bothered to even look at him. Partly, he wished he had never listened to Narcissa and instead spending time with Thoe, Blaise, or whosoever and talking about irrelevant stuff like the score of the last Quiddich match (Banchory Bangers against Falmouth Falcons) or about the latest affairs with the Ministry of Magic.

And what was he even doing here?

In mere seconds, he decided on changing a route back again to the hotel instead of meandering aimlessly and optimistically, waiting for some godsend to find.

What he wasn't, however, considering was actually finding some godsend in front of the revolving doors of the hotel building.

Yet again, as if some supernatural powers brought them to the same place every time, he was standing on the opposite side of the door where Y/N. It was the late afternoon, so instead of wearing the usual white shirt in the composition of black jeans, she had a green top and striped, yellow shorts with a small watch on her wrist.

She was turned, slightly to the side, so it was her profile he saw as she waved probably at one of her friends, smiling broadly. Draco never really paid much attention to the girl, especially to her looks, but now as his eyes roamed over her standing figure in those a little too revealing clothes, he felt a gulp forming in his throat. Her hair was falling on her shoulders, the beam plastered to her face, and she seemed to be a radiating sphere of positivity.

For the last time, she blew her friend a kiss, and then she was looking at him, infinitely shocked at the sight of him behind the window, staring at her. Draco blinked, snatching out of thoughts.

Y/N made her way out, gripping her big handbag and throwing it hastily on the shoulder and a glowing grin waving over her face again. "Nice to see you again," she said. "I thought you would call."

He furrowed his brows, detecting the faint trace of hope in her voice and feeling his heart take up on the speed. "Well... I was just about to. In the room. I bought a phone..." He lifted the sack in his hand. "...and was about to dial your number."

"Really?" she asked, slightly startled and happy at the same time. She brushed some of her hair behind the ear. "Didn't you have the phone?"

"I left it at home." It was the quickest lie he could conceive. He playfully rolled his eyes, indicating the slight amusement at his alleged absentmindedness. "Just heading back from the shop."

She laughed at that. "Right." Suddenly, her cheeks were covered in a light scarlet, and she dropped her gaze at her feet for three seconds, as if she was about to share something very, very secretive with him. Then she was eyeing him again. "Listen... I've just ended a shift. Maybe you would like to go somewhere? I promised I'll show you around the most interesting spots. Are you up to that?"

Draco contemplated, taking in a small breath. Some part of him really lingered to give it a shot and go out with her, seeing where it carries them, as spontaneous as it was. It wasn't a date, and she was practically a stranger, but... what kind of a stranger! A quiet voice in his head told him this was what kept him away from the idea; disclosing his doubts -- her sparkling with joy eyes and the effect she had on him. A mere fact of him pondering the question was pure evidence it mattered to him, and he definitely tried to kick in with a good impression.  

That left him with no more answer than: "Yeah, sure."

For some reason, Y/N let out a sigh of relief and relaxed a little, looking as if she was about to hear bad news but heard the contrary instead. "Great!" she exclaimed cheerfully. A little too cheerfully, she realized, as soon as she spoke up because the embarrassment welled up on her face. Yet another blush brushed her cheeks, and she chuckled at herself. "Sorry. Bad habits from the reception."

Now it was his turn to chuckle. He liked it, actually, but obviously wasn't going to say that out loud. "Don't mind," he assured her. "Shall we--"

"Before we do," Y/N cut him in, already guessing the upcoming rest of the sentence. "I suggest you leave that stuff..." She pointed her finger at the bag he was carrying. "...in the room. We might be wandering some hours in the heat. So it might not be the best idea."

Draco nodded, silently agreeing with her pertinent advice. "I'll meet you downstairs in... five minutes, then."

She shifted a little, still grinning like a maniac and watching him with sparkling eyes. "Okay," she said, as Draco was making to walk past her, feeling the strangest hint of excitement creeping in his chest. As he was nearing the doorway, he heard her shouting behind his back, "I'll be waiting here!" And the tiniest of his rare smiles formed on his lips.

XOXOXOXO

"So tell me something about yourself, Draco." Y/N looked at him, a light of interest entering her eyes.

As decided, they had met up a few minutes later in front of the entrance to the hotel and then took on the route. Draco had asked her about any potential propositions of where there should go, to which Y/N only smiled mysteriously and said it was a surprise.

So now they were walking hand-in-hand, taking almost the same pace as they strolled in the rhythm of the roads. The buzz still could be heard, and people prattling loudly, but this time -- as Draco noted -- instead of crowding in the center of the noise, Y/N led him through some stealthy alleys only a real dweller could know about. There were still laughs and talks coming, but much quieter.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, not quite comprehending how he should answer her question. He had been in some relationships, some successful and some not, but no one had really paid much interest in him. Not really him.

"Uh, you know. Where do you hail from, what are your hobbies, why did you come to France? Whatever you want, actually." Y/N chortled, offering him a small smile of encouragement. The sun rays were smoothly emphasizing her beauty; skin glistening under the daily light. Draco couldn't help himself but think of how her hands would feel on his shoulders and--

'Focus Draco,' he scolded himself for drifting far, far away with his imagination.

"Well," he started. "I'm from England, what you can guess by my accent. I play piano, learned Italian and Spanish, and...you know, basic stuff." He omitted the part he was a captain of his Quidditch team at school for almost five years which was his biggest pride. "My mother forced me to come here."

"Oh," Y/N seemed to be a little surprised by his confession because she made a fish-like face. "Didn't you want to come?"

"Not quite," Draco admitted truthfully. Before she was able to ask him for a reason for that, he outstripped her. "Had a tough time lately. My friend...died."

Y/N stared at him, mouth slightly agape, and in an instant, her expression turned from cheerful to a regretful one. "I'm sorry," she said, massive uncomfortableness visible on her face.

He shrugged, making his faultless poker face to the game as if it didn't affect him at all -- blank and uncaring. But it hit him. Always did. He didn't like to talk about his post-war experience; even recalling it in his mind was torture.

'If she only knew,' Draco thought. 'She wouldn't be so eager to get acquainted.'

Before he could pay off with as much interest as she did to him, Y/N was gesturing excitedly to the name on the corner of the building, located right next to the extensive, artificial beach with impeccably clean water. There were quite a few people enjoying themselves and sitting on the warm sand, but not throng as Draco could expect from a place like that. "Here we are!"

Not only the sand, but a minibar was there as well: a small deckhouse in the midway of the shore and pavement; a few wooden stools; and the bartender who was shaking a cocktail mixer in his hands.

Shortly after, however, the man behind the counter noticed them approaching. He shot Draco a brief look, and then his gaze landed straight at Y/N, who also perceived him glancing at her. He seemed to be happy at the sight of her, and his eyes swept momentarily over her figure, perhaps identifying if it really was a person he thought it was, and then he gestured for her to come closer. Y/N seized Draco's forearm, tugging him to come along with her, and Draco, left without any other choices, followed.

Y/N began speaking something French with him, and he heatedly answered her back in a sort of enthusiastic voice. Apparently, they must have known each other because, after seconds, they started joking around, laughing, and patting each others' shoulders like old friends. It took quite a moment, but the bartender eventually focused his attention on Draco, who was standing next to Y/N and was trying to make any sense out of the conservation. The man asked something, curiously arching his brow yet again at Y/N, who flushed suddenly. Clearly flustered with his question, she playfully smacked him at the top of his head and turned to face Draco.

"Sorry for that," she said, putting both of her elbows on the countertop and making a slight pout of guiltiness. "It's just an old friend of mine. I used to come here a lot in the past, so we know each other... pretty well, I guess."

That arose Draco's curiosity, and he didn't miss a chance to ask her. "Don't you come here anymore?"

"No." The readiness of this reply surprised him a little bit. She bit her lip and let her eyes drift at her shoes, which -- Draco noticed -- was her typical reaction when she was nervous. "I... I used this place to meet up with my boyfriend. My father didn't approve of our relationship -- he assumed there was something iffy about him and that he had bad intentions." Chuckling dryly, she tried to cover up her emotions, though the sadness was hitched to her voice. "He was right. He used me and then dumped me, saying it meant nothing."

Although he felt an urge to hug her, he held it back and stared at her, not really knowing what to say. Should he console her by telling her the man was a pig and she clearly deserved better? Or should he keep silent, only proving himself to be a good listener? It was very confusing for him to be around girls who cry and complain and expect reassurance in their words. He witnessed Pansy weeping a lot of times, but she was the one to instruct him what to do by throwing herself at him and lingering in the embrace. But Y/N was new to him, and it was no easy way to find out what she wanted him to say.

"Sucks," he uttered under his breath before the awareness kicked in.  

What the fuck, you dolt?! Is it how you want to comfort her?

Fortunately, Y/N didn't receive his words as critically as he because her eyes lighted up, and she giggled softly. "Yeah... But I learned from that. I try to be warier now."

The bartender poked her suddenly on the shoulder, making some mumbling and incomprehensible sound. Y/N nodded and slightly tilted her head to have a better view of Draco. "Jean asks if you want a drink. He recommends Brave Bull. Brags that he can do the best one in the country."

"Mhm... Let it be it," he agreed, giving up on his usual liquor and dipping into more muggle-like specials. He attempted to force a smile on the lips, trying to give it more of a tone of a request than a demand.

She reciprocated the gesture, and then she turned to her friend, leaning casually against the bar and expertly translating the conversation. He only nodded, smiling, and grabbed the nearest bottle of some booze to pour the contents into the glass along with some other ingredients.

"Here you go," the bartender, Jean, tried out his amateur English, but remnants of French accent could be heard. He laid two glasses of alcohol -- one fiercely brown; the other one, blue with a cocktail umbrella inside -- on the countertop and grinned. Before Draco could take out some cash to pay, Jean's voice echoed again, still with a little stammering accent. "Free!"

Y/N and Draco made their way to a nearby bench, both calmly sipping their drinks and looking at the horizon as the sun set down, disappearing out of your sight. It was strange for Draco how comfortable he felt in her presence; the comfort he hadn't experienced for years in anyone's company. Although he was aware you had met a few days ago, something in your relationship gave him enough space to be himself. And he liked it.

Draco chanced to glance at Y/N, and she was already looking.

"I like coming here," she started hastily, as to conceal she was staring. "It's calming."

As an excuse to tear their eye contact, Draco scanned the beach again, and he could definitely get her point. The place was nothing but charming. "Agree."

"You know... It was my inspirational area when I drew. I first found it when I got into a huge fight with my father. Since then, I have used it as an escape from the outer world. It was a mistake that I shared it with my ex, but... you seem to be a proper person."

Draco didn't miss the compliment, and a barely visible blush danced on his cheeks. He felt his pulse speeds up, heart pounding at the sudden realization of their proximity. "You drew? Is it past tense?"

"Yes." Y/N nodded swiftly, grunting. "I love to capture the moments I find beauty in: people, places, specific objects. I even aspired to go to art studies. But..." She exhaled deeply, preparing herself to continue. "...they are too costly. My father says so... I don't blame him; I know he tries. But I stopped myself from having hopes."

Draco listened, and the pity churned his stomach. Taking a nip of his drink, an idea popped up in his head. "Do you have those drafts?"

"Right now?" Y/N asked, shocked, to which Draco responded only with a short nod.  "Yes, I usually carry them --er-- in my bag. I had to throw them away... but I just couldn't."

"Can I see?"

Surprisingly, for the first time, as Draco saw, reluctance appeared on her face. She deflated, apparently battling with doubts. "Ummm... Yes." And then she slipped her hand into her motley bag, rummaging intensely. After mere seconds, she finally found what she was looking for -- the set of papers bound neatly around by a fine twine and clip, to the additional perseverance.

Y/N passed him, what seemed to be many hours of her solid work, and he examined them closely. What Draco could say is that he wasn't an expert in the field, but he unconditionally believed that those sketches required a lot of talent to draw as precise as they were. He was in awe, really -- the accurate contours given the best preciseness; the attention paid even to the smallest details; gradings made with soft touches of a pencil. The drawings presented a lot: random people walking in a rush, natural landscapes, some sculptures lined up in front of a building, even the least relevant objects like shoes or an apple. That, of course, didn't discourage Draco from watching further -- he flipped the pages, soundlessly, and a little too fascinated to utter a thing.

"And what do you think?" asked Y/N, nervously tapping her fingers on her thigh and (unnecessarily) preparing herself for a flow of criticism. Her gaze darted between Draco's face and the sketches.

"I... think you have a gift," he complimented her, weighing the great truth in his words.

"Really?" Y/N asked him in disbelief, blushing profusely. "Thanks! But --er-- you can take them if you want. It'd be easier for me to know I give them in the good hands than throwing them away."

The 'good hands' comment flattered Draco, and he felt almost honored to accept the offer. "Yes. Thank you." He buried the works deeply in his pocket.

He would definitely make good use of those. He had a plan.

XOXOXO

A/N: Okay, hi everyone! It was supposed to be longer, but I decided to divide it into more chapters with less word count instead. Nothing is happening yet, but you can already feel some tension, right? :D The next chapter is going to be super, super short. So I might be posting it within two days or so??? Idk yet, and it’s not a promise because I have a nice surprise (spoiler! a new one-shot) coming and a few requests to answer, so it might also take a moment. But please, stick with me :D If anyone wants to appear on the tag list, write in comments, DM, or wheresoever!

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift appears to be waging war over the serial resale of her old master recordings on two fronts. She recently confirmed that she is already underway in the process of re-recording the six albums she made for the Big Machine label, in order to steer her fans (and sync licensing execs) toward the coming alternate versions she’ll control. But now that she’s followed the surprise release of “Folklore” with the very, very surprise release of “Evermore” less than five months later, the thought may occur: If she keeps up this pace, she may have more new albums out on the Republic label than she ever did on Big Machine in a quarter of the time. Flooding the zone to further crowd out the oldies is unlikely to be Swift’s real motivation for giving the world a full-blown “Folklore” sequel this instantaneously: As motivations for prolific activity go, relieving and sublimating quarantine pressure is probably even better than revenge. Anyway, this is not a gift horse to be looked in the mouth. “Evermore,” like its mid-pandemic predecessor, feels like something that’s been labored over — in the best possible way — for years, not something that was written and recorded beginning in August, with the bow said to be put on it only about a week ago. Albums don’t get graded on a curve for how hastily they came together, or shouldn’t be, but this one doesn’t need the handicap. It’d be a jewel even if it’d been in progress forevermore and a day.The closest analog for the relation the new album bears to its predecessor might be one that’d seem ancient to much of Swift’s audience: U2 following “Achtung Baby” with “Zooropa” while still touring behind the previous album. It’s hard to remember now that a whole year and a half separated those two related projects; In that very different era, it seemed like a ridiculously fast follow-up. But the real comparison lies in how U2, having been rewarded for making a pretty gutsy change of pace with “Achtung,” seemed to say: You’re okay with a little experimentation? Let’s see how you like it when we really boil things down to our least commercial impulses, then — while we’ve still got you in the mood.Swift isn’t going avant-garde with “Evermore.” If anything, she’s just stripping things down to even more of an acoustic core, so that the new album often sounds like the folk record that the title of the previous one promised — albeit with nearly subliminal layers of Mellotrons, flutes, French horns and cellos that are so well embedded beneath the profuse finger-picking, you probably won’t notice them till you scour the credits. But it’s taking the risk of “Folklore” one step further by not even offering such an obvious banger (irony intended) as “Cardigan.” Aaron Dessner of the National produced or co-produced about two-thirds of the last record, but he’s on 14 out of 15 tracks here (Jack Antonoff gets the remaining spot), and so the new album is even more all of a piece with his arpeggiated chamber-pop impulses, Warmth amid iciness is a recurring lyrical motif here, and kind of a musical one, too, as Swift’s still increasingly agile vocal acting breathes heat into arrangements that might otherwise seem pretty controlled. At one point Swift sings, “Hey, December, I’m feeling unmoored,” like a woman who might even know she’s going to put her album out a couple of weeks before Christmas. It’s a wintry record — suitable for double-cardigan wearing! — and if you’re among the 99% who have been feeling unmoored, too, then perhaps you are Ready For It. Swift said in announcing the album that she was moving further into fiction songwriting after finding out it was a good fit on much of “Folklore,” a probably inevitable move for someone who’s turning 31 in a few days and appears to have a fairly settled personal life. Which is not to say that there aren’t scores to settle, and a few intriguing tracks whose real-life associations will be speculated upon. But just as the “Betty”/”August” love triangle of mid-year established that modern pop’s most celebrated confessional writer can just make shit up, too, so, here, do we get the narrator of “Dorothea,” a honey in Tupelo who is telling a childhood friend who moved away and became famous that she’s always welcome back in her hometown. (Swift may be doing a bit of empathic wondering in a couple of tracks here how it feels to be at the other end of the telescope.) One time the album takes a turn away from rumination into a pure spirit of fun — while getting dark anyway — is “No Body, No Crime,” a spirited double-murder ballad that may have more than a little inspiration in “Goodbye, Earl.” Since Swift already used the Dixie Chicks for background vocals two albums ago, for this one she brings in two of the sisters from Haim, Danielle and Este, and even uses the latter’s name for one of the characters. Yes, the rock band Haim’s featured appearance is on the only really country-sounding song on the record… there’s one you didn’t see coming, in the 16 hours you had to wonder about it. Yet there are also a handful of songs that clearly represent a Swiftian state of mind. At least, it’s easy to suppose that the love songs that opens the album, “Willow,” is a cousin to the previous record’s “Invisible String” and “Peace,” even if it doesn’t offer quite as many clearly corroborating details about her current relationship as those did. On the sadder side, Swift is apparently determined to run through her entire family tree for heartrending material. On “Lover,” she sang for her stricken mother; on “Folklore,” for her grandfather in wartime. In that tradition the new album offers “Marjorie,” about the beloved grandmother she lost in 2003, when she was 13. (The lyric videos that are being offered online mostly offer static visual loops, but the one for “Marjorie” is an exception, reviving a wealth of stills and home-movie footage of Grandma, who was quite a looker in a miniskirt in her day.) Rue is not something Swift is afraid of here anymore than anywhere else, as she sings, “I should’ve asked you questions / I should’ve asked you how to be / Asked you to write it down for me / Should’ve kept every grocery store receipt / ‘Cause every scrap of you would be taken from me,” lines that will leave a dry eye only in houses that have never known death. The piece de resistance in its poignance is Swift actually resurrecting faint audio clips of Marjorie, who was an opera singer back in the day. It’s almost like ELO’s “Rockaria,” played for weeping instead of a laugh. Swift has not given up, thank God, on the medium that brought her to the dance — the breakup song — but most of them here have more to do with dimming memories and the search for forgiveness, however slowly and incompletely achieved, than feist. But doesn’t Swift know that we like her when she’s angry? She does, and so she delves deep into something like venom just once, but it’s a good one. The ire in “Closure,” a pulsating song about an unwelcome “we can still be friends, right?” letter from an ex, seems so fresh and close to the surface that it would be reasonable to speculate that it is not about a romantic relationship at all, but a professional one she has no intention of ever recalling in a sweet light. Or maybe she does harbor that a disdain for an actual former love with that machinelike a level of intensity. What “Evermore” is full of is narratives that, like the music that accompanies them, really come into focus on second or third listen, usually because of a detail or two that turns her sometimes impressionistic modes completely vivid. “Champagne Problems” is a superb example of her abilities as a storyteller who doesn’t always tell all: She’s playing the role of a woman who quickly ruins a relationship by balking at a marriage proposal the guy had assumed was an easy enough yes that he’d tipped off his nearby family. “Sometimes you just don’t know the answer ‘ Til someone’s on their knees and asks you / ‘She would’ve made such a lovely bride / What a shame she’s fucked in the head’ / They said / But you’ll find the real thing instead / She’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred.” (Swift has doubled the F-bomb quotient this time around, among other expletives, for anyone who may be wondering whether there’s rough wordplay amid Dessner’s delicacy — that would an effing yes.) “‘Tis the Damn Season,” representing a gentler expletive, gives us a character who is willing to settle, or at least share a Christmas-time bed with an ex back in the hometown, till something better comes along. The pleasures here are shared, though not many more fellow artists have broken into her quarantine bubble this time around. Besides Haim’s cameo, Marcus Mumford offers a lovely harmony vocal on “Cowboy Like Me,” which might count as the other country song on the album, and even throws in something Swift never much favored in her Nashville days, a bit of lap steel. Its tale of male and female grifters meeting and maybe — maybe — falling in love is really more determinedly Western than C&W, per se, though. The National itself, as a group, finally gets featured billing on “Coney Island,” with Matt Berninger taking a duet vocal on a track that recalls the previous album’s celebrated Bon Iver collaboration “Exile,” with ex-lovers taking quiet turns deciding who was to blame. (Swift saves the rare laugh line for herself: “We were like the mall before the internet / It was the one place to be.) Don’t worry, legions of new Bon Iver fans: Dessner has not kicked Justin Vernon out of his inner circle just to make room for Berninger. The Bon Iver frontman whose appearance on “Folklore” came as a bit of a shock to some of his fan base actually makes several appearances on this album, and the one that gets him elevated to featured status again, as a duet, the closing “Evermore,” is different from “Exile” in two key ways. Vernon gets to sing in his high register… and he gets the girl. As it turned out, the year 2020 did not involve any such waiting for Swift fans; it’s an embarrassment of stunning albums-ending-in-“ore” that she’s mined out of a locked-down muse.

[aclosetfan]

ask game number 10?

(ask game) thank you so much for asking!!!!

BUBBLE BAND ♥♥♥

YESSSS YESS haha yessss someone chose 10!!!!!! So pumped for this one. For new fandom members (lmao I’m like a damn fandom historian), battle of the band fics got really popular for half a second b/c of the punks. I outlined my own where the punks are included but with a twist. No powers au, multi chap fic.

My outline is really detailed because I know I’m going to be writing this one!! It’s just too much fun, but I’m only gonna give you the jist, I don’t want to spoil too much :))) I’ve got like six pages of notes and I’m still not done mapping it all out. It’s supposed to be goofy as well as a big s/o to everyone who watched cringy amvs on youtube in the early 2000s <3

BACKGROUND:

Brick (lead guitar), Butch (bass), and Boomer (drums) are three brothers with a shitty garage band. They think they’re hot shit. They’re not hot shit (not yet). They’re good at playing their instruments but they don’t have a big following (or any good songs). On a good night, Mojo (their adopted father) indulges them and brings the crowd to a stunning total of 1.

PLOT:

One day, Boomer gets it in his head that he doesn’t want to be a punk rocker anymore. It’s dumb, he’s bored, and obviously, he is the next Picasso, so he quits the band. Brick all but disowns him as a brother. Butch is like dude I’d be cool staying in the band and Brick goes “you don’t have a choice!” Butch is like “aight, but now that Boom’s gone, can we maybe play a song I wrote?” Brick’s like, “no!” Butch is like “aight. That’s fair it’s dumb anyway. No harm, no foul bro. How are we going to get a new drummer as good as Boomer?” Brick’s like, “we’ll find someone better!” They won’t because, to give credit where credit is due, Boomer is quite a good musician.

Butch is like well this still sucks though cause we just got all those t-shirts. Like we’re broke af and they’ve got Boomer plastered on the front of them too. We can’t just replace them. Brick’s like “we’ll find someone better and someone who looks like him nbd.”

Brick and Butch don’t know any other drummers and they certainly don’t know anyone who drums and also looks like Boomer, so they make flyers~  

“Annnd,” Brick chirped, grabbing the page from the printer, “done. There. Perfect. We just need to make like a thousand more of these and post them around the City.”

Butch yanked the flyer from his hand with a frown, his eyes jumping around it before he grimaced, “Man, I dunno.”

“What?”

“Must have blonde hair, blue eyes,” Butch looked up, “reads kinda neo-nazi-ish.”

Brick ripped the page from Butch with wide eyes, rereading the flyer. After a second he hissed, “Ah fuck. Fucking Boomer.”

“He ruins everything.” Butch solemnly agreed.

“Fascist can’t even be punk.” Brick huffed, glaring at the flyer.

Together they sat back in their chairs and regarded the flyer before turning their attention back to his cracked computer screen. After a few moments of hmm’ing and haa’ing, Brick snapped his fingers and leaned over his keyboard. He made the font big, bold, and red so it couldn’t be ignored at the bottom of the flyer:

‘CAN’T BE A FKING SKINHEAD’

“Dude,” Butch nodded, reading over his shoulder, “it’s beautiful.”

And then the boys post the flyers everywhere. Including their school, where most people ignore them regularly. Their flyers however become popular scratch paper for the art department where one Ms. Bubbles Utonium stumbles upon them. She takes it as a sign. She’s a bit of a drum hobbyist, but her dad has had enough of the racket and she needs to find a new place to play. She’s not practiced or anything, but she fits the four requirements to a “T”. She has blonde hair. She has blue eyes. She can play the drums. And she isn’t a skinhead! She thinks it’s silly they even had to clarify that. She’s not too into punk music but even she knows fascists can’t be punk! So on the day of auditions, she shows up with her drum sticks and gets in line!!

Brick and Butch are floored when Bubbles Utonium comes strutting in. They only know her because she’s a popular cheerleader at their school and shares an art class with Boomer, who only ever complains about the perky upbeat girl. Their first thought is to laugh, but when she starts playing, they’re like “oh?” She’s inexperienced, but she’s got a knack for it, and (as Butch points out) she is not a skinhead. Since she’s the best they’ve seen all day they offer her the position on the condition that she dresses like a dude when they play because of their t-shirt dilemma. She tells them that’s no problem, she likes playing dress-up, but they’ve got to work band practice around her cheer schedule. They agree.

The RowdyRuffs are a band once more.

Boomer btws is NOT AT ALL jealous. Not at ALL. Nope. (he totally is and he’s very obvious about it). In one of the early band practices that he barges in on to “check out the new drummer,” he’s ten shades of betrayed when he sees Bubbles of all people in his seat. He does not like Bubbles. Bubbles thinks Boomer is the bees-knees. He doesn’t like her because she’s good at just about everything he wants to be good at—except for drumming, which he proves then and there and is like “your new drummer sucks, later losers, you wish you still had me, by the way, dad wanted me to tell you he’s making tacos and they’ll be ready in ten.” Bubbles is not deterred by his behavior, thinks how he plays is really cool, and wants him to teach her, which he continuously refuses to do, but that doesn’t stop her from pestering him. (eventually, he does tho just a fyi; Bubbles is hard to resist)  

Jumping forward in time, Princess becomes involved as their PR manager and decided that Bubbles shouldn’t act as Boomer anymore. They need “horny old man money” and everyone’s like ooooh yeah, horny old man money, neat! So, in all her genius, Princess decides to make Bubbles “Brat.” And boom! Here’s our first powerpunk girl.

It’s a hit with the crowd that the band is slowly starting to amass. After accidentally hearing Butch goof around on his bass, Buttercup ((((Bubbles’ sister, who at the beginning of the story takes pity on Butch and Brick and volunteers to help teach her sister how to be “punk rock”. She is also forced to drive Bubbles to and from band practice (because Buttercup is being punished for failing math)))) encourages him to pitch his songwriting to the rest of the band. He refuses. Brick’s the guy who writes the songs, who’s very bad at it.

However, after another shitty song about some mystery girl Brick swears he doesn’t have a crush on, Bubbles has enough and assigns the boys some songwriting homework. Butch writes a banger and their little band gets more recognition. They’re now playing sizeable gigs, but wait! OH NO! Bubbles and Butch aren’t going to make it to the show on time. Boomer’s like, “shit Brick! The show must go on, dude, but where are you going to find two people who know how to play the exact same instruments as Butch/Bubs, know all their cues, and all the songs in the next ten minutes????” Brick looks at Buttercup (plays bass like Butch/almost at all the band practices/has a lovely voice despite what she says) and Boomer (who was Bubbles before Bubbles) and goes “huh, genius, I wonder.” Buttercup’s like “oh no, wait wait! I’ve got stage freight!” To which Brick says, “get over yourself and join my shitty fucking band!”  

And that’s how we get our Brute <3 (named by Brick). She’s a hit!

They just keep getting bigger and bigger as a band, and record labels are starting to take an interest, so after Brute debuts, everyone’s like welp, Brick needs his counterpart too. And it’s eventually Blossom, but that comes about in a roundabout way because Brick’s feelings are still hurt (she’s the girl he was crushing on, but she rejects him). Eventually, Bubs is like “listen, Brick, we need a Berserk (Butch name’s this imaginary person), and it's coming down to the wire. Blossom can do it. I know she can. It’s for the band.” So, he sucks it up and Blossom hesitantly accepts (she’s very much preppy pop to whatever Berserk is lol so it’s difficult for her at first). After a heart-to-heart with Brick, they make amends (I think I’ll leave it platonic for now tbh) and their first show altogether is a hit!

As always, there’s a happy ending :) They get their record deal lol.

I can’t write songs. I’m shit at poetry, but I was thinking about just choosing irl music and mashing them up, so the music is still “original” but people can also be like omg I remember that horrible song from my emo “phase.” I have to find a good song list first. If anyone’s still reading send me some recs. The music I like is too embarrassing.  

[clumsyclifford]

hello bella i would like to ask you about future hearts, not in chronological order, and stories for monday -hazel

WAIT i pressed send too early i also wanted to throw a curveball and ask about the newsies original broadway cast recording :) -hazel

yeesh you picked some good ones hazel. okay. i'm gonna put a cut because four albums is a Lot.

send me albums!

future hearts - all time low

the first song from this album I heard: uhhhhhhh i don't remember, but i......hesitantly......say.......cinderblock garden. but i have no idea why i say that. no i don't really know at all.

do I own the album?: nope

my favorite song: don't you go but also if we're counting b-sides which we should be then how the story ends. and........edge of tonight. and runaways. i know that's a lot of songs i don't care.

my least favorite song: satellite i like it but it's unremarkable compared to the rest of the album and the structure of it is just a little weird to me

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: there were two future hearts songs that for some inexplicable reason didn't download when i bought the album on itunes back in like 2015 when i used itunes and this album came out so i just didnt know they existed for several months, and those songs were bail me out and edge of tonight. this isnt really relevant since i love both of those songs but i just wanted to share. i guess...i think runaways has grown on me. honestly i think thats a result of including it in baby driver fic, lmao

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i used to LOVE cinderblock garden and now as you can see i don't list it among my favorites. and the same with dancing with a wolf. and for that matter, also satellite lol

my favorite lyric: another impossible question <3 this doesnt really count but the line in tidal waves "say i'm your filthy little, filthy little-" always makes me smile bc when i was younger and my older sister and i would listen to that song whenever we got to that part we'd both yell WHORE at the top of our lungs. and in fact i still do. real talk though, i think the bridge of missing you might be my favorite lyric in here. "grit your teeth, pull your hair, paint the walls black, and scream 'FUCK the world 'cause it's my life, i'm gonna take it back' and never for a second blame yourself" yeah thats the GOOD shit. WAIT I LIE I HAVE ANOTHER ONE: "beautiful scars on critical veins" (mmm and also "roll like thunder, burn like stars") from kids in the dark. mmmm. and all of edge of tonight. man this album has some gooooooood gaskarth lines.

overall rating out of 10: honestly? 10/10. even with satellite. this is such a good fucking album i constantly underrate it but i love it so much it can do no wrong

not in chronological order - julia michaels (this one is gonna be trickier because i haven't listened to the whole album that many times but i'm gonna put it on while i answer the rest of these so hopefully i can have some real opinions here)

the first song from this album I heard: it would've been lie like this i think, because that song was out before any of the other singles

do I own the album?: nope :)

my favorite song: that's the kind of woman, pessimist, lie like this, all your exes. i really LOVE about half this album and the other half i just don't really know well enough

my least favorite song: orange magic just Does Not do it for me. idk man

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: well i'm very much still working on familiarizing myself with these songs so i might still be in the phase of "didn't like at first" (betcha anything orange magic will grow on me lmao). there aren't any songs that i've changed my opinion on at least not yet

a song I used to like, but now don’t: see previous answer lol

my favorite lyric: "i love myself, but i'd love her more; that's the kind of woman i'd leave me for" from that's the kind of woman (that shit HITS), also "i'll stop checking horoscopes to cope with all my misery" and "you took a pessimist and turned me into something else" from pessimist because it gives me a lot of hope. and "it was you before i ever decided" from little did i know because :') romance

overall rating out of 10: 8/10 miss michaels KNOWS an album. this would probably be higher if not for orange magic lmao

stories for monday - the summer set

the first song from this album I heard: according to my spotify, all my friends! the first time i listened to this album was on shuffle while writing a prompt fic that was entirely unrelated. i know, it's appalling.

do I own the album?: no <3

my favorite song: MMMNNGNHHGJ i think. i think it's figure me out. and missin' you. yeah. those two

my least favorite song: honest to god i want to say all downhill from here but the little bass riff at the end of that song basically forbids me from saying that. so i'm gonna say change your mind instead. it's the vibiest but thats not why we COME to stories for monday now is it

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: don't know, maybe all in? i can't remember ever not liking one of these songs tbh. ironically maybe the answer to this is change your mind lol

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i listened to all my friends about five million times when i wrote that fic based on it so it's in the same situation as i think he knows now. i need a little bit of an all my friends break.

my favorite lyric: bro this is literally an impossible fuckign QUESTION!! the entirety of figure me out. "i'm a bit too punk for the pop kids, but i'm too pop for the punk kids" and "i believe there's more to life than all my problems" both are really close to my heart. the bridge of all in about it being 4am in the parking lot we'll be singing blink songs til the sun comes up, that too. wait wait okay and also: "forever nineteen somehow" from jean jacket and "growing up can make you stupid, why is everyone so scared?" from wasted. okay okay i'm done i'm done

overall rating out of 10: fucking 11/10 bro this is in my top 10 albums ever i'm pretty sure

newsies - original broadway cast recording

the first song from this album I heard: no fuckin idea. it must have been the overture because i never listened to the cast recording before watching the bootleg so!

do I own the album?: i do not

my favorite song: mmm i. LOVE once and for all. but i also love watch what happens reprise. and brooklyn's here. and carrying the banner. ugh fuck i love so many of these songs.

my least favorite song: the bottom line reprise lmfao easy

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: i don't know, i guess i like the bottom line a LITTLE more than i used to but it's a very low bar. wait actually, the overture. i have a much greater appreciation for an overture than i used to.

a song I used to like, but now don’t: i honestly can't think of one. maybe similar effect to something to believe in? i like it SLIGHTLY less but i still really like it so?

my favorite lyric: EASY answer, this lyric is among my favorites in all of musical theatre, i had it written on my mirror for a long time in high school. this part from seize the day: "behold the brave battalion that stands side by side / too few in number and too proud to hide / then say to the others who did not follow through / 'you're still our brothers, and we will fight for you'"

overall rating out of 10: 9/10. fucking banger of an album. i always say this is the best cast recording for a car ride and i stand by that

[jonismitchell]

hey!! i haven’t talked to you in forever i hope you’re doing well. idk if you’ve answered this recently, sorry- top three on every album (totally put why if you want to, i love hearing people’s different opinions on this)

ahhh hey! i’m doing okay (as well as can be considered given the state of the world). i have not answered this question since folklore came out, so here’s a short opinion piece by yours truly. (under the cut because i never learned to shut up)

debut:  - our song: listening to taylor swift sing from the “man’s perspective” for the first time is something that can be so personal. i’m pretty sure that this is also the first taylor song i ever heard (in 2012) so i have some degree of emotional attachment to it.  - invisible: cause i just wanna show you! she don’t even know you! visceral flashbacks of playing this on loop while watching ever after high and harry potter videos in, like, fifth grade. truly describes my pining for every single person i’ve ever liked oops - should’ve said no: she’s so righteously angry and i love it. also the country accent is so strong here and i am absolutely obsessed with that.... legends only. anyway this is your reminder not to get back with your scumbag ex.

fearless: - love story: this is a classic! this is literally a classic. god the forbidden love, the happy ending, this implications of this being one of the biggest hits of her career.... it is The Ultimate Taylor Swift Song and we all just have to respect that. also a healthy dose of “the man’s perspective.” she SAW that film before and she changed the ending!! i cannot :) - come in with the rain: her vocals on this song are so dreamy and the song is really sweet. i think it manages to be lowkey and straddle how fucking dramatic being a teenager is with a lot of class that most of fearless doesn’t access. it’s a good song! - you belong with me: hey it’s the lonely hopeless romantic anthem! yes i know i’m citing the two biggest hits from fearless... they got popular because they’re super good okay! i would argue that the songwriting here is very classic taylor and it’s also super sweet :) 

speak now: - last kiss: ugh this really is an amazing breakup ballad. it’s full of amazing one-liners like “you can plan for a change in the weather and time but i never planned on you changing your mind.” i can’t believe how brilliant the whole song is and it’s even more impressive when you remember she wrote it alone. cannot wait to hear the updated vocals but the shaky breaths in the original are perfection <3 - enchanted: okay this is actually my favourite speak now song but i thought i’d shut up about being a lonely romantic for more than five seconds! anyway i have projected this onto so many people... it’s so relatable and yet it’s super general and YET it makes no sense when you think about it... that’s my style of taylor swift song  - the story of us: i love how blatantly unhinged taylor was while writing speak now it really speaks to me. i didn’t really like this one so much before but i went through a Thing and binge listened and now i am obsessed. love love love the lyrics and i think the production suits it well too 

red:  - holy ground: this is my ALL TIME FAVOURITE taylor swift song. i genuinely think these are the best lyrics she has written in her whole career.... “we blocked the noise with the sound of you and for the first time i had something to lose?” no one is doing it like her they simply aren’t. this song is absolutely perfect.... i don’t really have words to describe it i just need everyone to appreciate my taste for a minute - treacherous: gay little taylor swift. the whole idea of forbidden love crops up again here and i have to say i love it. i swear to god the vibes... the quiet confessional on the verses that explodes into this huge ranting bridge? that’s it that’s it that’s one of the best songs of all time man miss swift is an icon - state of grace: love is like a religion, perhaps. this contains such a wonderful extended metaphor and utilizes a bunch of different writing tactics so well. i sound like a broken record at this point but this is a good song! and yes i project it onto lucas (i’m fine to say that no one is reading this much)

1989:  - wildest dreams: oh just say you’ll remember me! it’s the songs about doomed love that always get me, something forbidden, something you have to keep private for fear of it being destroyed. side note, everyone who thinks a song as good as this is about harry styles can fight me. taylor pulled this out of my personal diary in sixth grade and it hasn’t stopped being relatable since - wonderland: oh you guys know i love a literary reference and wonderland is so good. haven’t you heard what becomes of curious minds is also really gay so the song works well for me. oh and a special shoutout to everyone who removed a tattoo because of this song, i hope you’re doing real well - style: very happy that i never think of anyone in particular when i listen to this banger and instead just enjoy it like a normal person <3 i remember not understanding the hype until binge listening to 1989 one day in eighth grade and being like “oh i get it now” so there’s that (shoutout to this love for nearly being on this list)

reputation: - dancing with our hands tied: this is another one of my all time favourites! the pining, the gay vibes, the love that dies in secrecy... it basically goes through my list of how to be a good song and ticks my requirements off one by one. i love how anxious the production is and her emotion while singing it on rep tour. karlie kloss fucking fight me challenge. - new year’s day: this quiet subtlety of this love ballad gets to me... it was my favourite when i originally listened to reputation and hasn’t fallen out of the top three since. i think it highlights taylor’s songwriting abilities and her ability to make me cry, both very important aspects of music - delicate: this is another hopeless romantic pining song! how many are we up to now? i really think delicate is the essential crush song that describes basically every feeling i’ve ever had. and unfortunately, up to this point, it has all been delicate :/ at least i have the solace of sharing problems with a talented millionaire

lover: - cruel summer: this really is THE fucking song for me... it encapsulated my ninth grade year, it makes my heart hurt, it’s line after line of pain to me personally. i have no idea what miss swift is banging on about here (and i prefer it that way) but it really just means a lot to me! another song that sounds like my diary entry and is also completely inaccessible, i don’t know how she does it. - the archer: i love the moment where taylor swift decided that she was going to give those of us with anxiety a theme song every single album, and i think the archer is a definite highlight of her whole career. the subtle dreampop influences and the confessional vibes make it exactly what i wanted from lover, and also it hurts me emotionally in ways i can’t fully articulate.  - lover: see, i do have a heart! listen, i’m only fifteen years old but i know i want this song to play at my wedding. it is so quietly romantic and perfectly sure of its own goals. it does not seek to accomplish any other goal than being a love song. i started thinking about the lyrics while writing this and now i have to go cry in a corner. (shoutout to cornelia street for nearly being on this list)

folklore: - mirrorball: right on holy ground’s heels for the dubious honour of being my favourite ever taylor swift song, mirrorball describes my Whole Life so unfortunately i’m considering suing miss swift herself. i just think that it speaks to me in ways that would require a whole essay to explain.... let’s just not - august: here’s your mandatory hopeless romantic pining song. did i mention i nearly cried to this on the day of release? i think that she Gets It. i don’t know taylor and i don’t entertain delusions of her knowing me but man she really just plucked the core of my whole love life and said “here’s a song about it, will you shut up now?” back when we were still changing for the better... i need a minute - betty: definitely influenced by the stellar performance at the acms! or maybe i just love listening to taylor openly singing about girls.... i just have a lot of feelings about the emotional resonance about the grand romantic gesture this song builds up to! the key change! the storytelling! kissing on the porch in front of all your stupid friends! this is what taylor swift is all about (shoutout to illicit affairs, my tears ricochet, and this is me trying for nearly being on this list)

[captainfawful]

 With the year coming to a close, that means it’s time for me to do my “Nobody Cares Awards” thing I like to do! Check under the cut for some hot takes I may or may not have!

Hello, hello! It’s me again! Third year in a row I decided to jot my thoughts down on the years various game. I decided to change things up more from last year, kind of eliminating most of the categories in favor of writing more about the games I enjoyed. I tried to write at least something about every game in the Top 10 this time, even if it’s the bare minimum. Let’s see how it goes!

BEST MUSIC

This entire thing was first created because I wanted to write about how good Death Road To Canada’s soundtrack was. So no matter what changes with my format on this, there will always be a Best Music category. I’ll be honest though, there weren’t a whole lot of games this year with amazing soundtracks. The only real contender for most of the year was Celeste, which OST is very good, and fits perfectly with the games tone and style, but it’s not... The Best music. They aren’t songs I’ll put on loop and listen to multiple times throughout the day. They’re not the hard hitting tracks I would typically put at the top of this category, despite how great the music is. That’s how I felt until about August, when The Messenger came out. Messenger is not a game that will be in my Top 10 by any means, but it’s a pretty good game nonetheless with a couple of really weird twists. But the OST is phenomenal. Easily my number 1 favorite of this year. Just about every track in the game is a total banger. But don’t take it from me, take a listen yourself! A little later in the year I played through Just Shapes & Beats. I have a personal stigma against saying a thing with licensed music should qualify for Best Music, which is why JS&B did not make it into my top 3, but rest assured that it is sitting comfortably in the 4th place spot. Almost immediately after I played JS&B, Deltarune suddenly came out. I don’t think I have to tell you why that’s on here, right? Toby Fox cannot make bad music.

SPECIAL MENTIONS

THE MISSING:J.J. Macfield and the Island of Memories

It’s hard for me to talk about what makes The Missing so special without diving deep into spoilers. There’s a reason it’s in the special mentions, and not the Top 10: And that reason is because the gameplay isn’t great. The Missing is a side-scrolling puzzle game, in the same vein as Limbo or Inside. Unlike those two, however, the puzzles you have to solve are not that hard, and most of the difficulty around it revolves around how slowly and janky the movement is. However, the overall story and twist is what makes this game great. There’s not a whole lot for me to say about the themes this game presents, so if you want to play The Missing, play it. If you don’t want to play it, then maybe take a look at some writings from actual queer women who could talk about its subject matter in a way I never possibly could.

The Quiet Man

The Quiet Man is a terrible game. When I first saw the trailer during Suare Enix's E3 presentation, I was super interested. I've always wanted a game that transitions from FMV to gameplay with as few seams as possible, and The Quiet Man promised that. Not only that, it promised a compelling story told from the perspective of its' deaf protagonist. The way I saw it, this game would either accomplish what it set out to do, or fail miserably. Either way, it was a win/win scenario for me! Little did I know just HOW miserably it would fail.... Oooooh, how miserably it failed... The gameplay is absolute trash, the graphics leave much to be desired which makes the "seamless" transitions from FMV look unconvincing and bad, the story is needlessly complicated despite how generic it is, the acting ranges from decent to awful, and it requires you to play it twice in order to actually understand what's happening. And all of those problems are the LEAST offensive parts of the game. It's racist, misogynistic, somehow ableist against more than just deaf people, semi-incestual, and also kind of pro-abuse??? I mean, it doesn't take a stance to be anti-abuse, and certainly doesn't condemn abuse, so does that make it pro? Maybe? Probably? I have a headache. I've watched this entire 2-4 hour game be played 10 or 11 times, and I still don't understand how this exists. Square-Enix published this. They dropped Hitman and IO Interactive not even one year ago, yet threw money at this horrible abomination of a video game! Oh by the way, you might be wondering why I said you have to play it twice to understand, and that's because the first playthrough doesn't give you any sound. Yup, aside from the intro cutscene and the credits song, the entire games' audio is just muffled ambiance. This includes all of it's cutscenes, of which there are MANY, and they are LONG. Entire MINUTES of dialogue happening at a time that the game just doesn't want you to hear or have subtitles for. The only way to get audio is to beat the game once and replay it. Not only that, but the New Game + with sound and subtitles didn't even get patched in until a week after it's release!!! Who does that!!!!! And the version with audio has some ATROCIOUS writing. Just about every scene has at least one line of dialogue that makes no sense, almost as if the writers were only told about how humans speak, but never actually heard one themselves. I’ve heard a lot of people saying it’s The Room of video games, and I sort of agree. Much like The Room, it’s not the absolute worst of it’s form of media, the game is playable start-to-finish, extremely straight forward so you can’t get lost, no bizarre puzzles to figure out, the FMV cutscenes are at decently produced. Hell, I wouldn’t even say The Quiet Man is the worst game to come out THIS YEAR. Crying Is Not Enough released in June, and boy oh boy is that game a trash fire. But it’s just BAFFLING that this game exists. That’s the perfect word to summarize my feelings on The Quiet Man. Every single thing about it is just, baffling. I need to stop writing about this game. This whole paragraph is probably going to be longer than anything from my Top 10, which feature a few games I ADORE, but no. All my writing energy is going to how terrible this fucking video game is. Don't play The Quiet Man. Or do, fuck if I care. Maybe watch someone else play it, I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

Ori and the Blind Forest

Back on the topic of good games, I finally got around to playing Ori and the Blind Forest! I played it for a little while after it originally came out around 2015, but it just didn’t stick with me at the time. There wasn’t any real reason why it didn’t stick, I just got bored and stopped playing, which isn’t that uncommon for me to do. But for whatever reason I decided to go back to it super late last year. It may have been the excitement for all the cool looking Metroidvanias slated to release throughout the year, I don’t know. But I played through it, and it’s fantastic! Most Metroidvanias tend to go with around a 60-40 split between platforming and combat. Different games have different splits, sure, but most of them tend to keep those somewhat even. Ori is like an 85-15, greatly favoring tight platforming over fighting enemies. Your main attack automatically locks on to nearest enemies, and boss fights are replaced with autoscrolling or stealth segments. The traversal is also super smooth and fun, making that 85-15 split much more favorable than others in its’ genre. Great controls combined with some amazing visuals and music, Ori is definitely a game I regret not playing earlier.

2019′S COMING IN HOT

Spelunky 2, Wargroove, Indivisible, Hypnospace Outlaw, Ooblets, UFO 50, Kingdom Hearts 3, Overland, Sea of Solitude, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, and  Get in the Car, Loser!. These are all great looking games that are supposed to be coming out in 2019. I remember last December when I last did this, I couldn't think of THAT many games I was really excited for, and despite that I ended up with a pretty damn good list of games for 2018. So who knows what next year will be like?!

And now... The Top 10!

#10: Spider-Man

It’s been a great year for Spider-Man. His best buddy Venom had a pretty good movie, his new video game is good, and he has a new movie that’s fantastic! Yep, it’s been such a good year for Spider-Man in which nothing bad has happened to him or the people who created him.

#9: Megaman 11

2 > 4 > 3 > 8 > 11 > 7 > 5 > 6 > 9 > 10 > 1. Don’t @ me.

#8: Iconoclasts

Iconoclasts has been in development for a very long time. Officially, development for it began in around 2010, but there is a seemingly earlier game by Konjak that shares many similarities. Basically, Iconoclasts began development at least 8 years ago, and it shows, for better or worse. On one hand, the game is gorgeous. Grade A sprite work all around. The characters are interesting and well written with their own morales and arcs, and the story is surprisingly deep and compelling considering the type of game it is. On the other hand, the gameplay feels very outdated now. The combat is super simplistic, the puzzles aren't terribly challenging or rewarding, and the weapon/ability upgrades are very limited. The traversal can be sluggish and boring, which is a red flag for a game where you have to backtrack a decent amount. If Iconoclasts came out 4 or 5 years ago, I feel like it would've been at least a cult classic. But in 2018, it's a decent Metroidvania in a year of great Metroidvanias. Overall, I'm glad Iconoclasts finally came out. I just wish it either came out sooner, or got more updated for modern game design.

#7: Slay the Spire

For all intents and purposes, I shouldn't like Slay the Spire. I always hated card-based RPGs, and always hated RPGs with only one party member. And for the most part, the issues I have with both of those are still very much present in Spire. So why have I sunk 50 hours into it so far? Beats me! If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the similarities it shares to Darkest Dungeon, one of my favorite games, that ultimately drives me to it. Now, you might be asking why Slay the Spire, a game that came out in 2017, and won’t be in 1.0 until probably 2019, is in my top 10 for this year, but Ori & the Blind Forest isn’t? Well, I started Ori last year, and didn’t start Spire until the middle of this year! Also, they’re my awards, and I can do whatever I want!

#6: Just Shapes & Beats

Just Shapes & Beats’ concept is simple: A rhythm bullet hell. Certainly not the first of it’s kind, and not even the first one to use simplistic shapes as the obstacles/characters. But there’s a bit more to it than that. JS&B has some good personality to go with it. It has some fun characters, all of the levels are demonstrative of the areas you’re in on the world map, it even has a couple lightly emotional moments! It’s much more than you’d expect from a game about Just Shapes & Beats. When I was younger and had vague dreams to make games, I always imagined making one that was basically “What if a Windows Visualizer was trying to kill you?” and also be themed around a world and a story, and JS&B is basically that.

#5: Pipe Push Paradise

What happens when you take Pipe Dream, an iconic puzzler which has given inspiration to countless others, and mix it with Stephen's Sausage Roll, arguably one of the greatest puzzle games of all time? You get Pipe Push Paradise, of course! That’s all I really have to say, and all I NEED to say.

#4: Dead Cells

Go play Dead Cells. Really, it’s the closest thing to a perfect Rogue-like (that isn’t Spelunky) out there right now. It’s a game so good, Filip Miucin couldn’t look away from it long enough to write his own review!

#3: Subnautica

If I had the opportunity to become a Fishman and live underwater, I’d probably take it. As long as you take out the jellyfish that can kill you .0001 seconds after stinging you, I have no qualms with open water. In fact, the isolated feeling from it is really relaxing to me. That’s what initially drew me to Subnautica. Survival games are usually hit or miss for me, but the ones I like I really dive deep into (Heh heh), and Subnautica is one of those. Also, I was rewatching the Super Mario Bros. Super Show on Netflix as I played this, so now I’ll have those two permanently linked in my mind from now on.

#2: Into The Breach

I love tactics games, especially Advance Wars. While I do still love others in the genre like Fire Emblem or X-COM, there are some intricacies of the AW series that most of the others don't have. When I first heard about Into The Breach, I thought it would be exactly what I wanted, a true successor to the series I'd been waiting for. And it was not! But it's still pretty damn good. It's not so much a tactics game as it is a puzzle game, described by Waypoint's own Austin Walker as a "tactical dance". You know at the start of each turn where each enemy is going to attack, and it's your job to navigate and attack with your 3 mech units in the exact right way to minimize or even straight up prevent any damage that would befall you or the cities you're protecting. You aren't trying to advance a map during combat, or conquer any enemy bases. You are merely trying to avoid damage for a certain amount of turns and move on to the next level. And it's all super fun! I've let the game sit for 10, 20 minutes while I try and figure out every possible option I have after being backed into a corner, and coming up with the absolute perfect solution and getting through to the other side is super satisfying. The biggest gripe I have with Into The Breach is the same one I had for FTL, the developer's last game, which is I don't think the unlockable mechs/mech teams are as fun as the default ones. I played most of them once or twice and went "Yeah, that's a thing" and migrate back to the first mech team. All in all, Into The Breach is a fantastic game, it just doesn't scratch that Advance Wars itch I've been feeling. Oh well, at least there's still Wargroove!

#1: Celeste

Celeste is a game I got 100% completion in. For those of you who might not know me well enough to know how I play games, that’s something that never happens. I think the last time I purposely got 100% on a game was in Uncharted 2, and even that was only to get a skin for multiplayer. Despite that, it’s been really difficult for me to write up a whole thing about why I love Celeste so much. It’s just a compilation of everything. I love the look of it, both the sprite work and the character portraits. The music, as mentioned before, is fantastic and perfectly fitting for all of the levels themes which deal in different forms of anxiety or self-doubt. The levels are hard, but not too hard. The secrets hidden throughout the game are so satisfying to figure out and find, very reminiscent of Braid. I feel confident in saying that Celeste has cemented itself as one of my favorite games of all time.

Well, that’s all I can handle writing for this year. Thanks to the few of you who skimmed through all this, and extra thanks to the fewer of you who read all of it! I’m not 100% sure if I’ll do this whole shpeel next year or not; maybe if 2019 turns out to be an incredible year for games, and definitely not if I have to move to Twitter in the off-chance Tumblr dies out completely. Hope you all had a fun holiday season, and have a great 2019! 

[nickireadstfc]

The Foxhole Court, Chapter 7 – The Literal Opposite Of Squad Goals

In which the Foxes don’t exactly win Squad Of The Year, everyone fights with everyone, disturbingly weird sexual tension is more disturbing and weird than sexual, and just when you think ‘oh man, it can’t go downhill from there’, spoiler alert: It does.

Sounds good? Then it’s time for Nicki to read The Foxhole Court.

Since we finally – finally! – got the gang together last time, I thought this chapter was going to be entertaining Exy practices, getting to know our new characters better and some fun squad banter.

Apparently, I had not been reading this series correctly if I assumed there was any fun to be had.

           The entire first week of summer practices was eaten up by in-fighting as the court hierarchy fell into place again.

The Foxes do not fuck around, you guys.

Let’s sum this up: Momma Dan keeps them all in check, Kevin is next in line because of his expertise but like everyone hates him, Matt is the underappreciated real MVP, next is my baby Renee who is still calm and gentle (and I’m not buying one bit of it), and then the rest is left to bash each other’s heads in at the bottom of the pecking order.

           It seemed Allison and Seth didn’t believe much in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.

Oh Allison, I was just debating on whether to like your or not, but you sort of took that decision from me with your choice in sexy-time partners.

I’m sorry. I still deeply, deeply dislike Seth.

Here’s to hoping he comes around at some point.

           Even Andrew seemed quite taken with [Renee]. Neil saw them talking off to the side several times throughout the week. It was obvious no one else approved of their odd friendship, but neither goalkeeper paid any mind to the unhappy looks sent their way.

This is amazing. I cannot get over how amazing this Brotp is. Goalie BFFs for LIFE <3

Also, how is Renee so wonderful, how is she even REAL.

(She’s not. They’re all fictional. I have to constantly remind myself of that.)

I’m also beginning to realize how far we’ve already come in this book. We’re halfway, you guys, and they’ve only now got the whole team together and are starting summer practices. We may not even meet Riko and the gang in this book, let alone play any league Exy games.

Halfway, what the hell. It feels like it just fucking started.

Speaking about getting started! Remember that fun party trip with Kandreil, Exy Courfeyrac and Small, Blonde And Shady that was promised to us last chapter? Well, it’s time to suit up, guys, ‘cause we’re going to Columbia.

           “This is for you,” Nicky said. “Andrew said you don’t have anything appropriate for where we’re going. He told me what size to get you, and I picked it out. Trust me, it’s awesome.”

Not to be gay but……… How does Andrew know Neil’s size………..

Can’t be an educated guess, Nicky could have done that himself, so the only logical conclusion I get from this is that Andrew paid special attention to Neil’s clothing size when going through his duffel in case he’d need to get him an outfit for something at some point.

I can’t decide if that’s more creepy or cute.

Today’s Casually Mentioned, Yet Heart-Breakingly Sad Neil Fact is this:

           Nicky hooked the twine handle over Neil’s fingers. Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.

No shit dude, I’d be unsettled by that as well. Gifts from Andrew could, in all likelihood, include everything from bloody knives to living snakes to tips on how to get the freshest ‘I just murdered a dude’ look, none of which sound particularly appealing to me.

           “Ditch them tonight. Your contacts, I mean. (…) It’s not like they’re a secret. Anyone who’s looking can see the ring in your eyes that means you’re wearing lenses. I saw ‘em day one.”

I fucking called it. You can seriously always tell when someone is wearing contacts, especially if they’re coloured. I just spent an entire weekend at a cosplay convention, trust me, you can tell.

           “And seriously, brown? How boring can you be?”

           “I like brown.”

           “Andrew doesn’t,” Nicky said. “Take them out.”

And since when does Andrew’s opinion on Neil’s appearance matter? Homeboy seems to have a pretty defined taste in boyfriends. The ‘creepy or cute’ question begins to lean more towards creepy.

           Every piece of [the outfit] was black. The cargoes were light and cut to accommodate a pair of heavy boots. The shirt was long-sleeved, tight and fashioned to look like it’d been torn through in places. A charcoal inner layer peeked out through the gashes.

So what we’re saying is that Nicky shops at the Tumblr Department of the Soft Edgy Grunge Moodboard Store?

(10/10 would wear in real life. GIMME.)

Right on cue, the monsters show up again, and we’re kicking off this night of disturbing debauchery with yet another ‘creepy or cute’ incident:

           Neil couldn’t leave with Andrew in the way, so he stopped as close to Andrew as he dared and waited for Andrew to move. Andrew did, but only to reach out for Neil with one hand. Neil tensed as Andrew’s finger wrapped around the back of his neck, but Andrew only wanted to pull Neil’s head down. Neil focused on Andrew’s cheekbone so as not to go cross-eyed and let Andrew study his eyes.

A classic. Blocking your boyfriend’s way, getting into his personal space, pulling his head as close to yours as possibly to check out his eyes, who gave Andrew a handbook on how to aggressively flirt with people and how can we take it from him.

           Nicky perked up as the two stepped into the living room, but his happy expression faltered when he got a look at Neil. “Oh man. Neil, you clean up good. Can I say that, or is that against the rules? Just – damn. Aaron, don’t let me get too drunk tonight.”

           Andrew (…) put his lighter in Nicky’s face.

           “Don’t make me kill you,” Andrew said.

           Nicky held up his hands in self-defense. “I know.”

           “Do you?”

           “Promise,” Nicky said weakly.

This just in: Neil is a Banger™ and Andrew is Possessive™.

I’m still undecided on the ‘creepy or cute’ matter, although I have to admit I find this scene wonderfully funny. Because honestly, everyone having the hots for Neil and talking about how attractive he is while Neil just doesn’t care is probably one of my favourite things about this.

They drive out to Columbia and at this point I got really excited. Fun party times! Banter! Nicky fucking killing it on the floor! It’s gonna be great!!

Oh boy.

Was I an idiot.

The first stop on this night of debauchery is a nice little restaurant where they stop for some ice cream. Oh, sorry, did I say ice cream? I meant fucking drugs.

This is not off to a good start.

Next up: Fun club time!

           There was a line of people waiting to get in, and the clothes they wore made Neil’s outfit look plain. Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.

Fun club time at a fucking bondage house, apparently. Aaron seems to be besties with the bouncers. No biggie.

As soon as they’re in, Andrew drags Neil off to the bar, and this is the point where the ‘creepy or cute’-o-meter officially swings towards very, very creepy.

           [The bartender] flashed Andrew an easy smile. “Back so soon, Andrew? Who’s your newest victim?”

           “A nobody,” Andrew said. “It’s the usual for us.”

I am decidedly not liking the use of the word ‘victim’ in any context involving Andrew and alcohol.

                       “Cracker dust,” Nicky said as he ripped his packet open. “Heard of it? Tastes like sugar and salt and gives you a small rush. Sure you don’t want in?

           (…)

Dust isn’t bad. It just makes the night more interesting. You think Kevin would ruin his future over a night out at the club?”

           “What future?” Neil asked.

Get #rekt.

Remember when I said I’m not liking the word ‘victim’ here? GUESS FUCKING WHAT.

           As soon as it hit the back of his throat, Neil knew he’d made a serious mistake.

           His sodas had tasted sweet, but this shot as almost unbearably so, and the aftertaste on Neil’s tongue wasn’t sugar. Neil lurched to his feet, but Andrew grabbed him by the hair and slammed him back into his seat. (…)

           “Just noticed, did you?” Andrew asked. “You’re an idiot.”

WHAT THE FUCK. Are you guys DRUGGING HIM. This whole thing just flew way past ‘creepy’ and landed firmly in ‘disturbing and abusive’.

           “Did you think you were safe because you were up there ordering you own drinks? Roland knows what it means when I bring outsiders here.”

I FUCKING KNEW IT. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. What, is this what they do for fun at the weekends? Drive newcomers up to Columbia, drug them against their will, and then what, date rape?

           Bodies and lights blurred around him, making Neil nauseous. He clawed bloody lines down Nicky’s arm as he fought to get free. Nicky didn’t let go until they’d reached the middle of the dance floor. He pulled Neil up against him and caught Neil’s chin in his fingers to force his head back.

           Nicky’s kiss was harder than Neil expected it to be, and there was more than just tongue in it. Beneath the burn of vodka Nicky shared with him was the sweet tang of cracker dust.

Oh god. Wish I’d shut my mouth.

NICKY, I TRUSTED YOU. You’re disowned from being Exy Courfeyrac, Courf would never.

Seriously, what the actual fuck. I have nothing else to say but WHAT THE HELL YOU GUYS NO.

           “The team is split, you know. Most of them think you’re trailer trash like Dan. Renee knows better. So do I. I think you’re something a little more like us.” Andrew leaned forward and enunciated every syllable. “Runaway.”

I can’t even perk up at the mention of Renee’s name or hints at her possible backstory because this is so beyond fucked up. I’m in shock.

           “Mind your own business.”

           “Tonight is Mind Neil’s Business Night,” Andrew said. “Didn’t you notice? Give me something real or I won’t let you stay here.

           (…)

           Edgar Allan is in our district and you are on my team. You, a know-nothing from Arizona who somehow managed to catch Kevin’s eye. You, a lie from head to foot, with a bag full of money and a hard-on for everything Kevin and Riko. Do you understand?”

You bring Neil out to Columbia, drug him, practically rape him, just to find out if he’s a fucking MOLE? Are you KIDDING ME??

I’m slowly beginning to realize why Kevin puts this much trust in Andrew’s abilities if this is what the fucker is willing to do to keep him safe.

I’d love to interpret this in some funny shipping way, except I really, really can’t find this anything other than disturbing, fucked up and so, so not okay.

Also, NICKY WHAT THE FUCK. I knew Kevin and the twins were varying degrees of shitty, but I had some trust left in you. You know it’s a fucked-up story when even the comic relief is an asshole.

Come find me at the bottom of the trashcan, angrily crying over recent developments.

[chorusfm]

Mitski – Be the Cowboy

Mitski Miyawaki (mononymously known as Mitski) is a powerhouse. The Japanese-American artist is only 27 years old, and her new album; Be The Cowboy is her fifth album in six years. Her 2016 album Puberty 2 was released to universal critical acclaim, single “Your Best American Girl” landed on multiple “best songs of 2016” lists, and starting in March this year, she joined Lorde as an opener for the New Zealand artist’s Melodrama World Tour. To say that Mitski has been having a hard working, busy, few years is an understatement. Within Be The Cowboy, there’s a new central focus for Mitski: the loneliness that accompanies a young woman as she relentlessly tours to continue being a musician for a living. Of course, her words are as sharp and powerful as ever. There’s no one who has so effectively mastered the art of explosive, endlessly fascinating songwriting. She switches between personifying fictional characters, while a number of tracks follow her relationship with music (“Geyser” and “Remember My Name” spring to mind) rather than other people, or herself. This is undoubtedly Mitski’s most ambitious album yet, and also the culmination of all her past work. The album has an unbelievable amount of musical ideas wrapped up inside it, and in any other artist’s hands, it might not work. Be The Cowboy is only 33 minutes long – only three songs are longer than two and a half minutes, but it all flows beautifully. All the ideas are anchored by ethereal vocals and haunting lyrical gems. Just looking at the singles, it’s clear that Mitski is confident in making yet another sonic departure. Take second single “Nobody”; an infectious disco-pop banger that’s nothing like anything else in her discography. Album opener “Geyser” is bombastic and combines the piano and organ found in her first two records, Lush and Retired From Sad, New Career In Business and joining them is the crashing, distorted guitars that defined her breakout album, Bury Me At Make Out Creek. Final single “Two Slow Dancers” is a gorgeous, nostalgic piano ballad. There’s no one who tackles nostalgia and loneliness like Mitski. Apparently, Mitski has a real knack for writing pop songs, too. Is there anything she can’t do? “Nobody,” “Why Didn’t You Stop Me?,” and “Washing Machine Heart” are some of her grooviest songs yet. They should be mega hits. “Why Didn’t You Stop Me?” is deceptively upbeat. It’s also pretty crazy, featuring horns, a fun repetitive synth sample reminiscent of the one that framed Puberty 2’s “Happy,” and a synth-and-guitar-lead climax to close the song. Of course, it’s not all fun and games. Mitski sings in a slightly higher register than usual – this immediately caught me off guard, I thought I knew her voice and different tones like the back of my hand. She is dissecting the end of an important relationship, and asks to just “paint it over.” “Washing Machine Heart” could easily be a companion to “Why Didn’t You Stop Me?.” It’s another poppy, unusual song where someone is invited to toss their dirty shoes into her washing machine heart, and “bang it up inside.” The contrast between the self-destructive lyrics and the catchiest melodies in her entire discography is so very Mitski. Be The Cowboy could’ve been “Washing Machine Heart” x14 and remained a captivating listen. Personally, I couldn’t be happier that “Old Friend,” a song that captures wistfulness for a “blue diner” that I’ve never seen but would now love to visit follows “Why Didn’t You Stop Me?.” “Old Friend” is a plain but lovely track that features Mitski back on the piano, and simple acoustic strumming holds it all together. Her longing request to visit the blue diner and “take coffee and talk about nothing, baby” takes listeners to a place everyone in town would know; it’s retro but familiar. Mitski has a talent for writing songs that sound old-timey, like the Angel Olsen-lite “Lonesome Love” and the misleadingly jaunty “Me And My Husband”. In the mournful “Lonesome Love,” we hear Mitski trying to prove that she’s over someone. She spends an hour putting on her make up. She walks in wearing her high heels, “all high and mighty” but ultimately loses once they say “hello.” She then takes the blame for getting hurt again, and explains that “nobody butters me up like you” but “nobody fucks me like me.” “Me And My Husband,” on the other hand, is a bit more unusual. There’s a deep sigh just before the piano and drums come bursting in. Again, Mitski sings in a higher register. She’s already indicating that while the music is joyful, the story is not as it seems. In an interview with the 405, Mitski says this about “Me And My Husband”: …I think a lot of marriages are like that because that’s what it is; it’s no longer about being in love. It’s really hard to stay in love and keep the spark. When you get married and you’re with someone for years and years, it no longer becomes about infatuation or having your heart aflutter. But the song is just about “you know what, this may not be love anymore, and I may be unhappy, and I’m going to die one day and this is just going to be my life.” But then turning around and saying “this is the decision I made, and you’re the person I chose, so I’m just going to stick with you. We have our problems, but this is our life and we’re going to live it.” And that’s what it’s about. It’s heartbreaking, but fits right in to the multiple narratives and themes running throughout Be The Cowboy. Hearing her misdirect listeners with accessible, uplifting sounds and juxtaposing them with some of her most self-deprecating (“I am the idiot with the painted face”), candid lyrics is genius. “Nobody” is arguably the song that accomplishes this the best. “My god, I’m so lonely / so I open the window to hear sounds of people”, Mitski croons in “Nobody,” one of Be The Cowboy’s standout tracks. Like a majority of her lyrical content, “Nobody” is raw. We hear a woman completely vulnerable, and that vulnerability is seeping through the wonderful pop song. In the music video, it’s largely Mitski ft. Mitski in an eerie nightmare scene. It’s interesting watching the colourful, peculiar video for “Nobody” compared to the equally dramatic but grey video for “Geyser.” Be The Cowboy is fully immersed in drama and intimacy, and most importantly: confidence. Mitski continues to explore intimacy in the album’s second half. She shares the softness she feels in her heart through recurring motifs. Recurring motifs in music have always been fascinating to me, and I find it unfortunate that most artists don’t experiment with their lyrical approach and apply a motif or narrative. From “Nobody” onwards, we hear Mitski express a desire to be kissed. She’s “just asking for a kiss,” just “one good movie kiss” and she’ll be all right. In the beautiful, sweeping love ballad “Pink In The Night,” she’s glowing pink because she’s so infatuated with somebody and confesses, “I know I’ve kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right.” In the delightful “Washing Machine Heart”, she’s exasperated and craves to be kissed already! Then, she pleads, “somebody kiss me, I’m going crazy” in “Blue Light.” Mitski is an artist who knows her ambitions, is extremely self-aware and allows herself to portray the need to burst open through her music. Although she’s threatening to burst at the seams, there is something Mitski won’t let herself or listeners forget: she is a woman in control. For Be The Cowboy’s press release, Mitski explains the album title as “a kind of joke”, and continues to say, “There was this artist I really loved who used to have such a cowboy swagger. They were so electric live. With a lot of the romantic infatuations I’ve had, when I look back, I wonder, did I want them or did I want to be them? Did I love them or did I want to absorb whatever power they had? I decided I could just be my own cowboy.” Be The Cowboy is electric. The music seems to effortlessly veer from sombre piano ballads to upbeat pop, to slight jazz to sublime indie rock. This is something Mitski has always excelled at – making the complex sound remarkably simple. And, the simple things she does do are always fantastic. The straightforward fuzzy guitar riff running through “Remember My Name” has been in my head for days, and “I need something bigger than the sky, hold it in my arms and know it’s mine” is already a fan-favourite line. As is “it’s just that I fell in love with a war, and nobody told me it ended” from the epic and melancholic “A Pearl.” “A Pearl” may be the most essential song on Be The Cowboy. It’s the track that nails what Mitski asked herself in the press release – did she love them or did she want to absorb whatever power they had? “A Pearl” finds her rolling the pearl that was left over in her hand, only looking at this pretty object and avoiding examining toxicity that lies inside a relationship. Mitski doesn’t just look at something pretty, for nostalgia’s sake. She takes her listeners on journeys. She brings us to a school gymnasium in Be The Cowboy’s album closer, “Two Slow Dancers.” She keeps her dry wit with her as she reminds listeners of the smell of school gymnasiums; “It’s funny how they’re all the same.” The school gymnasium is the chosen destination for two ex-lovers to share a final dance. They are “two slow dancers, last ones out”, wishing the moment could last forever. “Two Slow Dancers” is mellow, but Mitski doesn’t hold back from sharing the anxiety of growing old. Though she’s still young herself, she can’t help focusing her fifth album on longing for the past and imagining relationships better than they actually were. To be honest, I’m relieved that Be The Cowboy breaks from the album closers of her past work. While “A Burning Hill” and “Last Words of a Shooting Star” are stunning, intense songs, they are worryingly frank songs that had me feeling like I was snooping through her diary. But here, she embraced fiction and larger-than-life storytelling. She became her own cowboy. With Be The Cowboy, Mitski has a newfound assurance that’s just wonderful for fans new and old to watch blossom before their eyes. Do you want to be your own cowboy? I know I want to be. --- Please consider supporting us so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/review/mitski-be-the-cowboy/