#{ text | lauryn }
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text📲 carter & lauryn
Carter: okay so I've got a confession to make and idk maybe you already know this about me I mean we're like best friends why wouldn't you know something about me, right? anyway first yes I still totally want to go to this NYE party with you so long as you're still okay having me as your plus one and not someone more like date-like or something idk if you're even interested in anyway like that. damn I'm a bad friend. I'm just a terrible friend. ugh anyway I totally don't really do the whole party thing like most that I do is the halloween bash every year and all I have to worry about for that is finding a costume that's comfortable and fun and all that and basically what I'm trying to say is... what do I wear to a NYE party? Is it fancy or casual, is there any kind of dress code? I seriously have no clue what to wear and I don't want to embarrass you in front of your co-worker friends, you know as one of your non co-worker your friends I want to make a good impression.
#text#text: lauryn#lauryn hayward#a long-wided confession text#I know I said I was gonna jumble some interactions around but this fit too well for a carter/lauryn text lol
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Y’all wanna hear the full story of my date on Friday?
So this guy and I had been talking literally nonstop for a week. Great chemistry over text. Great conversation. Decent picture. Everything seems great. The plan was to go get coffee and hang out, then stop by a sex shop for a reward for me showering before noon for a week. After such great chemistry over the week, I was down for that.
I meet him in a parking lot and automatically I knew this wasn’t going to be great. He matched his picture in that it was of him, but it wasn’t a good representation of him. His car looked straight out of a horror movie with scratches and burn marks all over. He and his car REAKED of smoke. (Which I don’t usually mind, I used to smoke, I have friends that smoke, doesn’t usually bother me, but this was like… have you ever been inside a smoking room at a hotel? Like that. It was bad.)
We head off to coffee, and he reaches over and starts playing with me. After one minute tops he tells me to cum. I was nervous and anxious and just faked it. (As if I could ever cum that quickly.) He keeps going and 30 seconds later tells me to cum again, which I again faked.
He pulls into the Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru. Not a cute coffee shop like I was expecting and nowhere we could sit down and talk. We get our coffee and then he drives straight to the sex store.
The whole car ride was miserable. He’s an angry driver (big turn off for me as it makes me nervous), he’s not really talking, and it’s like pulling teeth trying to get any sort of conversation out of him. What I do manage to get is the smallest of small talk where he just repeats himself a couple times then goes silent again. Nothing like the conversation we had had over text.
There’s literally ZERO chemistry in person.
We get there and I just want nipple clamps or something small as my reward. We got the nipple clamps, but he also grabs a 9” dildo and ben wa balls. I almost asked the cashier for help as we were checking out because I was so uncomfortable, but I didn’t.
I honestly thought he was driving me back to my car afterwards as that was the direction he was heading and we had done all he said we’d do, but he pulls over on the side of the road in some neighborhood.
He tells me to test out the nipple clamps to make sure they’re strong enough. Whatever. I don’t mind. Then he tells me to get in the back seat so he can spank me. I never say no to a spanking, so I do.
Well apparently he had speed opened the dildo while I was getting out of the front and into the back, and I only realized this when I was over his lap being spanked and suddenly there was a dildo being pushed into me. He fucked me with it then pulled down his pants for me to blow him. Again, on the side of the road, away from my car, we had talked for a week and I felt like if I didn’t I just lead him on and that made me feel guilty (it’s an issue, I know. I’m working on it.) so I did.
When he was done we got back into the front. He had me put the balls in and then drove me back to my car.
Keep in mind, from beginning to end, this “date” lasted all of 1.5 hours TOPS. And he thought it went great and that he was going to own me now.
I got home just feeling gross and blech and just so disappointed.
#I just wanted a cute coffee date with a fun reward#with the person over text#who was funny and conversational and made me feel comfortable#not the silent angry man who made zero effort in person#sigh#this has been another episode of#Lauryn’s Dating Chronicles#dating#mine
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my laptop is dead and i left my charger at home. killing myself.
#i've got my phone cable but that is not working lmao#i can't go home and get it bc i have a neuro appt in the afternoon and by the time i go home and come back i won't have time to do anything#before i have to go to my appointment#i've texted my brother to see if he can drop it off but he's apparently not checking his messages#everyone psychically send 'check your messages and bring lauryn her charger' vibes to my brother
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text message 📲 lottie x lauryn
LOTTIE: You know that phrase 'anything can be a dildo if you try hard enough'? LOTTIE: Days like this I wish common sense was more fucking common. LOTTIE: I had THREE emergency surgeries today removing things from cavities that they should not go in. Two of them said they were 'curious', another was advised said object would 'feel amazing'. This is just...why. LOTTIE: Days like this I really worry about the future of the world.
#{ text messages }#{ texts | lauryn }#{ lauryn hayward }#{ memes | misguided advice text }#{ ooc | it's not so much advice but STILL }
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text 📲 teddy & lauryn
Teddy: Hey so I got a question and I'm hoping you can help me out, because it's kind of like a medical question and you're a nurse so who better to ask? I mean I know a few other people in the medical field but you're the one I know the most I guess? Teddy: Anyway I'm rambling and completely not getting to the point but that's also kind of part of the problem I'm having. Which I realize that may not be actually to do with the medical stuff but moving on I promise! Teddy: Okay so like I've noticed recently I get really flushed and kind of an uneasy feeling in my stomach and it's kind of similar to any of the times I've had nerves before the first night of a show but we haven't had a show since spring and this started happening over the summer and it's only once in awhile. Teddy: It actually happened a few times around different people so I don't know if it's something contagious going around, does the flu go around in the summer? Is that a myth that it's only in winter? Teddy: But I don't think it's the flu because I've had the flu and this still feels different and I don't get a fever, though I have felt hot flashes kind of and I don't think there's any other reason that I would get hot flashes you know? And anyway... any thoughts?
#text#text: lauryn#lauryn hayward#/a long text#omg this is longer than I meant it to get lmao#also hope it's okay to assume these two are good friends cause idk I can kinda see it
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text message 📲 olivia & lauryn
OLIVIA: So. Story time. OLIVIA: I needed to go shopping for some new underwear and stuff, so I took Anya with me to the mall. I figured I'd stop in Aerie to pick up some stuff, and then we could go to Box Lunch to get her some stuff too. OLIVIA: Well, my nine-year-old daughter just asked a complete stranger in the middle of Aerie if he thought I could fit into a thong that I put into the cart. OLIVIA: And then when he actually said he thought I'd look good in it, she turned around and asked him if he'd be interested in going out with me. OLIVIA: Tell me why my daughter is trying to set me up on date with a complete stranger. OLIVIA: And remind me how much trouble I'll get into for strangling her out of embarrassment.
#{ text messages }#{ text | lauryn }#{ lauryn hayward }#{ ooc | I'm sure she's probably met Anya because Olivia takes her to the clinic for her annual appointments and such lol }
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text 📲 mercedes & lauryn
Mercedes: OKAY! If you had to pick a color palette for me, would you say I was more of a Spring, Fall, or Summer? I found this really cute outfit in a bunch of different colors, but not sure which color I want... Really hoping you can help me decide 🥺🙏
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Kurt: My god I thought it was just me. Kurt: It depends on my mood and how bad my anxiety is, but most of the time I end up organizing the shelves. If it gets really bad, I even move tags and products around.
text || open
Lauryn: does anybody else get distracted by organizing messy shelves in the store when you're shopping? Lauryn: no? just me?
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ISAT and Ludonarrative Harmony: Combat is a Storytelling Tool
Or: How Siffrin is stuck in the endgame grind, forever
Please Note: This is primarily aimed at an audience that already played In Stars and Time, because I am bad at explaining things, and it's good to already know what the fuck I'm talking about. I tend to only bring up game elements as I want to talk about them.
Spoilers for.... all of ISAT! Especially Act 5!
(image to show how i feel posting this and as an attention grabber over my wall of text)
To pull a definition of ludonarrative harmony out of a hat, game writer Lauryn Ash defines it as follows:
Ludonarrative harmony is when gameplay and story work together to create a meaningful and immersive experience. From a design implementation perspective, it is the synchronized interactions between in-game actions (mechanics) and in-world context (story).
It is, generally speaking, how well game mechanics work hand in hand with the story. I, personally, think ISAT is an absolute masterclass of it, so I want to take a look at how ISAT specifically uses its battle system to emphasize Siffrin's character arc and create organic story moments. I want you to keep this in mind when I talk here.
So, skills, right? If you've played any turn-based RPG, you know your Fire spells, your "BACKSLASH! AIRSLASH! BACKSLASH!" and the many ways to style those.
Well, what does casting "Fire" say about your character? Not all that much, does it? Perhaps you'll have typical divisions. The smart one is the mage, the big brawny one is your tank, the petite one's the healer. And that's the barebones of ISAT's main party, but it's much more than that.
Every character's style of combat tells you something about them. Odile, the Researcher, is the most well-travelled and knowledgable of the bunch. She's the one with the expertise to keep a cool head and analyze the enemy, yet also able to use all three of the Rock-Paper-Scissors craft types.
To reflect her analytical view of things, all her skill names are just descriptive, the closest to your most bog-standard RPG. "Slow IV" or "Paper III" serve well to describe their purpose. The high number of the skills gives the impression there were three other Slow skills beforehand - fitting, considering the party starts at level 45, about to head into the final dungeon. She's also the oldest, so she's the slowest of the bunch.
Isabea, the Fighter, has all his skills in exclamation points. "YOUR TURN!!!" "SO WEAK!!!" "SMASH!!!" they're straightforward, but excited. He's a purposefully cheerfull guy, so his skills revolve around cheering on his allies. He's absolutely pumped to be here, and you see that from his skill names alone.
Mirabelle, the Housemaiden, is an interesting case. She's by all means the true protagonist of this tale - She's the one "Chosen by the Change God," the only one who survived the King's first attack, the only one immune to his ability to freeze time, the only dual-craft type of the game - just a lot of things. And her skill names reflect that facade she puts on herself - she can do this, she can win! She has to believe it, or else she starts doubting. This is how you get "Jolly Round Rondo" and "Mega Sparkle Heal" or "Adorable Moving Cure." She's styled every bit a sailor scout shojo heroine, and her moveset replicates the naming conventions of "In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"
Even Bonnie, the Kid, who can't be controlled in combat, has named craft skills. And they very much reflect that Bonnie is, well, a kid. "Wolf Speed Technique" or "Thousand Blows Technique" are very much the phrasings of a child who learned one complicated word and now wants to use it in everything to seem cooler than they are, which is none, because they're twelve.
Siffrin's skills are all puns.
You have an IMMEDIATE feel for personality here. Between "Knife to Meet You!" and "Too Cleaver by Half," you know Siffrin's the type to always crack a joke no matter the situation, slinging witticisms around to put Sonic the Hedgehog to shame. It's just such a clever way to establish character using a game mechanic as old as the entire history of RPGs.
This is only the baseline of the way the combat system feeds into the story, though.
The timeloop, of course, feeds into it. Siffrin is the only character who retains experience upon looping, whereas all other characters are reset to their base level and skills. And it sucks (affectionate).
You're extremely likely to battle more often the earlier in the game you are - after all, you need the experience (for now.) Every party member contributes, and Siffrin isn't all that strong on their own, since they focus on raw scissor type damage with the addition of one speed buff. (Of course it's a speed buff. They're a speedy fucker. Just look at him).
At first, the difference in level between Siffrin and the rest of the group is rather negligible. Just a level or two. Just a bit more speed and attack. And then Siffrin grows further and further apart. Siffrin keeps learning new skills. He gets a healing skill that doubles as an attack boost, taking away from both Mirabelle's and Isabeau's usefullness. He gets Craft skills of every type that even give you two jackpot points instead of one - thus obliterating Odile's niche. Siffrin turns into a one-person army capable of clearing most encounters all on their own.
Siffrin's combat progression is an exact mirror of story progression - as their experience inside the loops grows, they also grow further and further away from their party. The party seems... weaker, slower, clumsier. Always back at their starting point, just as all of their character arcs are reset each loop. Never advancing, always stagnant. And you have Siffrin as the comparison post right next to them.
I also want to point out here a change from Act 2 to Act 3 - Siffrin's battle portrait. He stops smiling.
Battles keep getting easier. This is true both for the reason that Siffrin keeps growing stronger even when all enemies stay the same, but also for the reason that you, the player, learn more about the battle system and the various encounters, until you've learned perfect boss clear strategies just from repetition. Have you ever watched a speedrunner play Pokemon? They've played this game so many times, they could do it blindfolded and sleeping. Your own knowledge and Siffrin's new strength work in tandem to trivialize the game's entire combat system as the game progresses.
(Is it still fun? Playing it over, and over, and over again? Is it?)
You and Siffrin are in sync, your experience making everything trivial.
As time goes on, Siffrin grows to care less and less about performing right for their party and more and more about going fast. A huge moment in his character is marked by the end of Act 3; because of story events I won't delve too deeply into, Siffrin has grown afraid of trying something new. And his options of escape are closing in. They need an answer, and they need it fast. He doesn't have the time or patience to dumb himself down, so you unlock one new skill.
It doesn't occur with level up, or with a quest, or anything at all. At the start of Act 4, it simply appears in Siffrin's Craft skills.
(Just attack.)
No pun. No joke. Just attack. Once you notice, the effect is immediate - here you have it, a clear sign of how jaded Siffrin has become, right at every encounter. And it's a damn good attack, too! The only available attack in the game that deals "massive" damage against all enemies. Because it doesn't add any jackpot points (at least, it's not supposed to), you set up a combo with everybody else, but Siffrin simply tears away at the enemy with wild abandon. Seperated from the rest of the party by the virtue of no longer needing to contribute to team attacks (most of the time. It's still useful if they do, though).
Once again, an aspect of the battle system enhances the degree of separation between Siffrin and the static characters of his play. You're incentivized to separate him, even.
Additionally, there are two more skills to learn. They're the only skills that replace previous skills. You only get them at extremely high levels, the latter of which I didn't even reach on both of my playthroughs.
The first, somewhere in the level 70 range, Rose Printed Glasses, a paper type craft skill, is replaced by Tear You Apart. It's still a pun about paper, but remarkedly more vicious.
The second is even more on the nose. At level 80, In A While, Rockodile!, a rock type craft skill, is replaced by the more powerful Rock Bottom.
I didn't get to level 80. If you do, you pretty much have to do it on purpose. You have to keep going much longer than necessary, as Siffrin is just done. And the last skill he learns is literally called Rock Bottom.
What do I even need to say, really.
Your party doesn't stay static forever, though.
By doing their hangout quests, side quests throughout the loops that result in Siffrin and the character having a heart to heart, all of them unlock what I'd call an "ultimate" skill. You know the type - the character achieved self-fulfillment, hit rank 10 on their confidant, maxed out their skill tree, and received a reward for their trouble.
These skills are massively useful. My favorite is Odile's - it makes one enemy weak to all Craft types for several turns, which basically allows you to invalidate the first and third boss, as well as just clown on the King, especially once Siffrin starts racking up damage.
But the thing is. In Act 3, when you first get them, yeah, they're useful. But... do you need them? After all, they're such a hassle to get. You need to do the whole character quest again, you can't loop forward in the House or you'll lose them. If you want to take these skills to the King, you need to commit. Go the full nine-yards and be nice to your friends and not die and not skip forward or skip back. Which is annoying, right?
Well, I sure did think so during Act 4. After all, a base level party can still defeat the King, just with a few more tricky pieces involved. Siffrin can oneshot almost all basic enemies by the time of Act 4. It's this exact evalutation that you, the player, go through everytime you return to Dormont. Do I want this skill, still? Would it not be faster to go on without it? I'm repeating myself, but that's the thing! That's what Siffrin is thinking, too!
I also want to take a quick moment to note, here - all skills gained from hangouts have art associated with them, which no other skills do. This feature, the nifty art, hammers home these as "special" skills, besides just how they're unlocked.
Siffrin also has one skill with associated art.
Yeah, you guessed it, it's (Just attack.)
At first, helping the characters is tied to a hefty in-game reward, but that reward loses its value, and in return devalues helping Siffrin's friends every loop. It's too tedious for a skill that'll make a boss go by one turn faster. You, the player, grow jaded with the battle system. Grinding experience isn't worth it, everybody's highest levels are already recorded. Fighting bosses isn't worth it, it's much faster to loop forward.
Isn't this what all endgame in video games looks like? You already beat the final boss, and now... what challenge is left? Is there a point to keep playing? Most games will have some post-game content. A superboss to test your skills against, but ISAT doesn't have any of that. You're forever left chasing to the post-game. That's the whole point - to escape the game.
As most games get more difficult as time passes, ISAT only gets easier. The game becomes disinterested in expanding its own mechanics just as I ran out of new things to fight after 100%-ing Kingdom Hearts 3. Every encounter becomes a simple game of "press button to win."
The final boss just takes that one up a notch.
Spoilers for Act 5 ahead boys!
In Act 5, Siffrin utterly loses it. His last possible hope for escape failed him, told him there's nothing she can do, and Siffrin is trapped for eternity. So of course, they go insane and run up the entire House without their party.
This just proves what you already knew - you dont need the party to proceed. Siffrin alone is strong enough. And here, Siffrin has entirely shed the facade of the jokester they used to be. Every single skill now follows the (Just attack.) naming conventions. Your skills are: (Paper.) (Rock.) (Scissors.) (Breathe.)
To the point. Not a moment wasted, because Siffrin can't take a moment longer of any of this. Additionally, his level is set to 99 and his equipment becomes fixed. You can't even pick up items anymore! Not that you needed them at this point anyway, right? Honestly, I never used any items besides the Salty Broth since Act 2, so I stopped picking items up a long time ago. Now you just literally can't.
Something I've not talked about until now - one of the main equipment types in this game are Memories, gained for completing subquests or specific interactions and events. They all by and large have little effects - make Odile's tonics heal more, or have Mirabelle cast a shield at the start of combat. For the hangout events, you also gain an associated memory that boosts the characters' stats by 30. It lets them keep up with Siffrin again! A fresh wind! Finally, your party members feel on par with you again!
...For a time. And just like that, they're irrelevant again, just as helping them gave Siffrin a brief moment of hope that the power of friendship could fix everything.
In Act 5, your memory is set to "Memory of Emptiness." It allows you to loop back in the middle of combat. You literally can't die anymore. Not that Siffrin could've died by this point in the first place, unless you forgot about the King's instant-kill attack. This one memory takes away the false pretense that combat ever had any stakes. Siffrin's level being set to 99 means even the scant exp you get is completely wasted on them. All stakes and benefits from combat have been removed. It has become utterly pointless.
Frustrating, right? It's an artistic frustration, though. It traps you right here in Siffrin's shoes, because he hates that all these blinding Sadnesses are still walking around just as much. It all inspires just a tiny fraction of that deep rolling anger Siffrin experiences here in the player.
And listen, it was cathartic, that one time Siffrin snapped and stabbed the tutorial Sadness, wasn't it? Because who enjoys sitting through the tutorial that often? Siffrin doesn't. I don't, either.
So, since combat is an useless obstacle now meant to inspire frustration, what do you do for a boss? You can't well make it a gameplay challenge now, no. The bosses of Act 5 are an emotional challenge: a painful wait.
First, Siffrin fights the King, alone. This is already nervewracking because of one factor - in every other run, you need Mirabelle's shield skill, or else you're scripted to die. You're actually forced to fight the King multiple times in Act 3, and have to do it at least once in Act 4, though you'll likely do it more. Point is: you know how this fight works.
You know Siffrin's fight is doomed from the outset, but all you can do is keep slinging attacks. Siffrin is enough of a powerhouse to take the King's HP down, what with the healing and buff skills they have now, not to even mention you can just go all in on damage and then loop back.
(And no matter which way you play it, whether you just loop or use strategically, it reflects on Siffrin, too. Has he grown callous enough not even death will stop their mission? Or does he still avoid pain, as much as he can?)
This fight still allows you the artifice of even that much choice, not that it matters. The other shoe drops eventually - Siffrin becomes slower, and slower. Unsettling, considering this game works on an Action Gauge system. You barely get turns anymore. The screen gets darker, and darker. Until Siffrin is frozen in time, just as you knew he had to be, because you know how this encounter works, know it can't be cleared without Mirabelle.
And, then, a void.
Siffrin awakens to nothingness. The only way to tell you've hit a wall is if Siffrin has no walking animation to match your button inputs. You walk, and walk, until you're approached by.... you. The next enemy encounter of the game, and Siffrin's absolute lowest point: Mal Du Pays.
Or, "Homesickness," in english. If you know the game, you know why it's named this, but that's not the point at the moment.
Thing is, where you could damage the King and are damaged in turn, giving you at least a proper combat experience, even if its doomed to fail, Mal Du Pays has no such thing.
You can attack. You can defend. But it is immune to all attacks. And in return, it does nothing. It's common, at least, for undefeatable enemies to be a "survive" challenge, but nope. The entire fight is "press button and wait." Except, remember the previous fight against the King? The entire time, you were waiting for the big instant death attack to drop. That feeling, at least for me, carried forward. I was incredibly on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And, as is a pattern, Siffrin is, too. As Siffrin's attacks fail to connect, they start talking to Mal Du Pays.
But he gets no response, as you get no attacks to strategize around. The wait for anything to happen is utterly agonizing. You and Siffrin are both waiting for something to happen. This isn't a fight. It just pretends to be. It's an utter rugpull, because Siffrin was so undefeatable for most of Act 4 and all of Act 5 so far. It's kind of terrifying!
and it does. It finally does something. Ma Du Pays speaks, in the voice of Siffrin's friends, listing out their deepest fears. I think it's honestly fantastic. You're forced to just sit here and listen to Siffrin's deepest doubts, things you know the characters could not say because it references the timeloops they're all utterly unaware of. This is all Siffrin, talking to himself. And all you, all Siffrin, can do, is keep wailing away on the enemy to no effect whatsoever.
So of course this ends with Siffrin giving up. What else can you do?
And then Siffrin's friends show up and unfreeze them and it's all very cool yay. The pure narrative scenes aren't really the main focus but I want to point out here:
A) Mirabelle is in the first party slot here, referencing how she's the de facto protagonist, and Bonnie fills in the fourth slot left empty, which shows all characters uniting to save Siffrin
B) this is the only instance of the other party members having act specific battle icons: they're all smiling brightly, further pushed by the upbeat music
C) the reflecting shield Mirabelle uses to freeze the King uses a variation of her hangout skill cut in, marking it as her true "final" skill and giving the whole fight a more climatic feeling.
It's also a short gameplay sequence with Siffrin utterly uninvolved in the battle. You can't even see them onscreen. But... it feels warm, doesn't it? Everybody coming together. Siffrin doesn't have to fight anymore.
At last, the King is defeated. Siffrin and co. make for the Head Housemaiden, to have her look at Siffrin's sudden illness. Siffrin is utterly exhausted, famished, running a fever. And this isn't unexpected - after all, their skills in Act 5 had no cooldown. For context, instead of featuring any sort of MP system, all skills work on a cooldown basis, where a character can't use it for a certain number of turns. The lowest cooldown is actually Siffrin's Knife to Meet You, which has a cooldown of 1. In universe, this is reasoned as the characters needing a break from spamming craft in order to not exhaust themselves.
Siffrin's skills in Act 5 having no cooldown/being infinitely spammable isn't a sign of their strength - it's a sign that he refuses to let himself rest in order to rush through as fast as possible.
Moving on, Siffrin panics when seeing the Head Housemaiden, because seeing her means one thing: the end. Prior to this in the game, every single time you beat the King, the loop ends when you talk to the Head Housemaiden.
Reality breaks down, the whole shebang. It's here that Siffrin realizes - they don't want the loops to end, because the end of their journey means their family will leave, and he'll be alone again. The happiest time of his life will be over.
Siffrin goes totally ballistic, to say the least.
As it turns out (and was heavily foreshadowed narratively), Siffrin has been using Wish Craft to subconciously cause the timeloop because of their abandonment issues. It's rather predictable if you paid attention to literally anything, but it's extremely notable how heavily Siffrin is paralleled to the King, the antagonist they swore to kill by themself at the start of Act 5. The King wants to freeze Vaugarde in time because it is, in his mind, "perfect," for accepting him after he lost his home - a backstory he shares with Siffrin.
Siffrin has become the exact antagonist he swore to kill, and it's shown by how the next fight utterly flips everything on its head.
Siffrin is the final boss.
In a towering form made of stars, Siffrin looks down at their friends. His face is terrified, because of his internal conflict; he can't hurt his friends, but he can't let them go, either. The combat prompt is simply changed to "END IT!"
This fight is similar to the previous, in that you just need to wait a certain number of turns until its over. However, this time, it's not dreadful suspense. It's... confusion, and hesitance.
You have two options for combat: Attack your friends, or attack yourself.
And... you don't really want to do either, I think. I certainly don't. But what else can you do? It's Siffrin's desires clashing in full force. Attack your friends, and force them to stay? Or attack yourself, and let them go safely without you?
Worth noting, here - when you attack Siffrin's friends, you can't harm them. Isabeau will shield all attacks. And when you attack yourself, Mirabelle will heal you back to full. And the friends don't... do anything, either. How could they? Occasionally, Mirabelle heals you and Isabeau shouts words of motivation, but the main thing is...
(Your friends don't know what to do.)
None of them want to harm Siffrin. Both sides simply stare at each other, resolute in their conviction but unwilling to end it with violence. It's of note that this loop, the last one, is the only loop where the King isn't killed. Just frozen. And now here is Siffrin, clamoring for the same eternity the King was. Of course everything ends in a tearfilled conversation as Siffrin sees their friends won't leave him, even after the journey ends, but I still have to appreciate this moment.
Siffrin is directly put in the position with their friends as his enemies, forced to physically reckon that keeping them in this loop is an act of violence, against both their friends, and against himself.
It's a happy ending. But... what does it mean?
Of course, ISAT is obviously about the fear of change. Siffrin is afraid of the journey ending, and of being alone. However, ISAT is also a game about games. Siffrin is playing the same game, over and over, because it's comforting. It's familiar. It's nice, to know exactly what happens next. These characters might just be predictable lines of dialogue, but... they feel like friends. Have you ever played a game, loved it, put countless hours into it, but you never finished it? Because you just couldn't bear to see it end? For the characters to leave your life, for there to be a void in your heart where the game used to be?
After all, maybe it became part of your routine! You play the game every day, slowly chipping away at it for weeks at a time. For me, I beat ISAT in four days. It utterly consumed me during this time. I had 36 hours of playtime by the end. Yeah, in that week, I did not do much more than play ISAT.
And once i beat it, i beat it, again. I restarted the game to see the few scenes I missed, most specifically the secret boss I won't talk about here. I... couldn't let go of the game yet. I wanted to see every scrap I could. I still do. I'm writing this, in part because I still do. It's scary to let go.
Ever heard the joke term of "Postgame Depression?" It's when you just beat a game, and you're suddenly sad. Maybe because the ending affected you emotionally and you need to process the feelings it invoked, or you search for something that can now fill your time with it gone.
The game ends, for real this time, the last time you talk to the Head Housemaiden. But Siffrin gets... scared. What if everything loops back again? And so, his family offers to hold his hand. They face the end, together.
For all loops, including the ending, you never see what happens after. After they leave the loop for good. Because the loop is the game itself. It's asking you to trust that life goes on for these characters, and it holds your hand as it asks you to let go. There's a reason for Siffrin's theater metaphors. He is the actor, and the director, asking everyone to do it over one more time. He's a character within the game, and its player.
There's a reason I talked about endgame content. This, the way it all repeats, there's nothing new, difficulty and stakes bleed away as you snap the game over your knee - it's my copy of White 2 with two hundred hours in it. It's me playing Fire Emblem Awakening in under 3 hours while skipping every cutscene. Are you playing for the sake of play, for the sake of indulging in your memories, because you're afraid of the hole it'll leave when you stop?
Of note: the narrative never condemns Siffrin for unwittingly causing their own suffering. He's a victim of circumstance. It's seen as endearing, even, that Siffrin loves their friends to the point of rather seeing the world destroyed than them gone. But Siffrin is also told: we'll stay with you for now, but we'll part ways eventually. And one day, you'll have to be okay with it.
Stop draining the things you love of every ounce of enjoyment just because you're afraid of what happens next. I'm not saying to never play your favorite games again. Playing ISAT a second time, I still had a lot of fun! I saw so many new things I didn't before, and I enjoyed myself immensely, reading the same dialogue over and over. But... it makes me look at other games I love and still play, and makes me ask... is this still fun? Do I still need to play this game to enjoy it? Even writing this is an afterimage of my enjoyment, but it's a new way to interact with the game, to analyze it through this lens. Fuck, man, I write fanfiction. Look at me.
All of this, fanart, fanfic, analysis, is a way to prolong that enjoyment without making yourself suffer for it. Without just going through the motions of enjoyment without actually experiencing any. But one day, the thing you love won't be fun to talk and write and draw about. And it's okay. You'll have new things to love. I promise.
In the end.... I'm certain I'll replay ISAT one day. Between great writing, art, puzzles and unresolved mysteries, it's my shoe-in for game of the year.
But I won't replay it for quite some time. I've had enough, for now, so I let my love take other forms.
Siffrin is never condemned, because love is no evil. Be it love for another person, or for a game. And please, if you're overempathetic - it's still a game, at the end of the day. The great thing about games is that you can always boot them up again, no matter how long its been.
A circle within a circle indeed.
To summarize:
The repetitiveness of ISAT's combat, lack of new enemies, and Siffrin's ever increasing strength eventually allows you to snap the combat over your knee, rendering it irrelevant and boring. Though this may seem counterproductive at first, it perfectly mirrors how Siffrin has also grown bored with these repeated encounters and views them only as an obstacle to get past. The reflection of Siffrin's own tiredness with the player's annoyance increases the compassion the player has for Siffrin as a character.
Additionally, the endgame state of the combat system serves as commentary on the state of a favorite game played too often, much like how Siffrin has unwittingly trapped themself in the loop. Despite the game having no more challenge or content left to over, a player might return to their favorite game anyway, solely to try and recreate the early experience of actually having fun with it. This ties into ISAT's metanarrative about the fear of change and refusal to let go of comfort even when the object (here, your favorite video game) offering that comfort has become utterly bereft of any substance to actually engage with. Playing for the sake of playing, with no actual investment to keep going besides your own memories.
Later on, stripping away even the pretense of strategy for a "press button and wait" format of final bosses highlights the lack of options at Siffrin's disposal and truly forces the player into their shoes. Truly, the only way to win is to stop playing.
#feli speaks#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#lays down on floor. it's done. it's done#i actually narrowed down in scope to just focus on the combat by the way. and this is like. several thousand words
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Quarterfinals, Match 2
expand to see all propaganda received! (wall of text warning oh my god this is a severe cautionary message)
Lauryn Hill:
"she paved the way and was hot as fuck the whole time"
"Girl c'mon. Look at her. You're gonna try and tell me that isn't the most beautiful and attractive person alive? Okay. You're lying but okay."
"if u freaks don't give ms. lauryn hill the respect she deserves..."
"actually one of the prettiest women ever I'm such a lesbian for her. like irl I'm already a lesbian but she is helping"
Damon Albarn:
"Don’t think Damon should be here? Why don’t you get your head checked by a jumbo jet? Maybe you’ll feel heavy metal and calm down."
"If Damon is in the “some guy” category, he’s the heavenly and heartbreaking version. Damon is the sort of significant stranger I’d see on the train out of Colchester but could never speak to, just a face seen in passing yet too radiant to be real. I’d fall in love for an hour and carry the ache for a month."
"Damon sets the standard for me. I think he’s the most fascinating man alive. What I find attractive in Damon is not just his gorgeous bone structure and boyish charm, but how wholly he’s committed himself to music. Damon is an artist who walked the walk: in one of his roughest years with some of his rawest songwriting, he said he was no longer excited by anything except the creative process. He was disillusioned with the celebrity of it all, with his relationships suffering for it, and only wanted to make art: nothing more, nothing less. He would go on to compose film scores, write operas and stage musicals, produce other artists’ records, form collectives to fulfill his passion for world music, and create some of the most globally successful music of his career in a completely innovative format that placed him as the phantom behind the characters. Whenever one band takes a break, he makes a solo record or puts together a supergroup to stay busy. He’s uniquely collaborative and still writes personal letters inviting artists to record with him, and yet can function as a one-man show, acting as a multi-instrumentalist, a singer-songwriter and a producer. He’s been a constant voice of bringing British music to the world *and* bringing world music into Britain. Sure, he’s won Brit Awards and a Grammy among others, but he also has a Guinness World Record and was named an Officer of the British Empire for his services to music; his long work with Africa Express earned him respect even from peers who’d previously dismissed him, and his commitment to support his Malian collaborators in the face of violence earned him the title of Local King in Mali. There is so much talent in the world, but there is truly no one else with a career that looks like Damon Albarn’s. Damon is far more than just a prettyboy to look nice on a magazine cover, but looks are the ultimate point of this tournament, so make no mistake: he was terribly, terribly pretty. You watch him performing in the 90s, you sift through photoshoots and interviews and documentaries, and it feels *cruel* how beautiful he was. If his talent was god-given, so was his face. To put a bow on this thesis: I don’t know if Gorillaz and Damon’s musical universe would be the experimental, globe-trotting, boundary-pushing community affair it is if Blur hadn’t become such a central figure in Britpop and if Damon had not been made such a media spectacle, and I don’t know if Damon would have been that spectacle if he wasn’t so ungodly pretty. The domino effect is that Damon’s cherubic face launched a thousand multimedia art school projects for decades to come."
"I wish I was basically any bloke in the 90s so I could tongue Damon Albarn down. Damon will see a man and ask “is anyone gonna kiss that?” and not wait for a response."
"I have a pillow with his face on it. I sleep with it every night 😊"
"“I’m more homosexual than Brett Anderson, always have been. As far as bisexuality goes, I’ve had a taste of that particular fruit, or have been tasted you might say…” is just the rawest most Shakespearean statement ever"
"he is the ultimate Pretty Boy ™. his glorious golden locks, his electric blue eyes. he is if Princess Diana was a Britpop Dude. he is the Regina George of Britpop. he is if Aphrodite took male form. Zeus would come down to earth to fuck him if he knew. he is a caffeinated orange cat let loose. he is deranged. he is unhinged. you never know what will come out of his mouth. he had sexual tension with every single man who knew him. he pulled justine fucking frischmann. his aura knows no bounds. he is a siren. he is a weird guy. but being so gorgeous stunning ethereal didn't stop him from also being one of the most prolific songwriters of his generation"
"THE MAIN BLUR"
"literally where do i even begin. i could write entire essays on this man. a good place to start would be the beetlebum music video, i suppose. i'll never forget the first time i watched that music video. something in me changed, my brain chemistry was altered, my life was never the same, i view the world a lot differently now. and a lot of the viewing i'm doing is of pictures of damon albarn's face because of boy do i have a lot of those saved. every time i try to look for a photo of something on my phone i can't find it because there's so much damon. okay that's maybe an exaggeration but this man has the most unfathomable beauty ever. his eyes? HIS EYES. god dammit i love his eyes i want to stare at them until the end of time like nothing else exists. i'm so normal about this man (lying) and while i'm usually very shameless about my interests i'm actually incredibly glad this propaganda is anonymous because otherwise. yeah. but the world deserves to see damon albarn's beauty and also hear his fantastic voice because what the fuck. his voice is literally the most gorgeous sound ever produced like bro sounds like that and expects me not to fall in love? i want this man to sing his silly songs and talk absolute nonsense to me until the sun eventually blows out and the world ends. cmon damon girlies let's demolish this tournament i know there are a lot of you."
"He’s beautiful. He’s a little rat. He’s a sweetheart. He’s a dickhead. He’s a musical genius. He’s a dumb bitch. He’s a jock. He’s a weirdo. He’s real. He’s an illusion. He’s everything. He’s just Damon."
"DAMON DAMON DAMON where do I begin oh jeez I've hyperfixated on this man for a solid 4 years and still going strong. Damon makes me wish that British people are real. That says A LOT. This man created a whole ass ANIMATED BAND WITH A SHIT TON OF LORE as a SIDE HUSTLE??? Not to mention, what other man has collaborated with Stevie Nicks, MF DOOM, Del the Funky Homosapien, Snoop Dogg, AND Beck?! People, we're literally in the presence of a god. And he's STILL GOING. Anyways, TL;DR, damon is so so so neat and cool and he should definitely win this competition. Thank you."
"Okay 90s Damon is The Perfect Boy yes yes, but the people who parrot the Daily Mail and say "he's ugly now" will never understand. I would still suck every drop from him on his deathbed."
"Vote for whoever you want to. But Damon is so pretty."
"i did not spend hours admiring this beautiful man's face on pinterest just to see him lose."
"Damon Albarn just brings me joy. When I'm watching him perform, following along as the camera lingers on and adores his pretty face, I get butterflies like I'm 15 again. It's nice to still feel that totally unguarded giddiness sometimes."
"God let the intrusive thoughts win making Damon. What if he's a beautiful blond twink with eyes like saucers and dick to his knees, he reads Herman Hesse and plays footie and is insufferable about both, he'll be the most prolific musician of his generation and write operas and seminal albums in 5 different genres and also he's gonna be the dumbest bitch alive? He'll also be kinda bi, but only kinda. And send."
"when i found out about his existence, my life was changed forever. i wish i could use him like the hannah montana boot milk pillow and chuck him at the wall so he makes a loud thud"
"Think of the drama and anon fights it'll cause if Damon wins it all! And think of how quiet it'll get after Damon's out. You'll miss him when he's gone, like memories of a noisy house years after it's grown silent. Choose Damon, and keep the messy train chugging."
"Even the Gallagher brothers have the hots for him."
"Kiss kiss I love him also you can't vote for any of the Seattle men they're literally copy and paste it's not fair. We need Brit representation"
"I want to take care of him, I want to provide for him. I need to gauge his baby blue puppy dog orbs out to I can clean them with wood varnish, paint shades of Pantone 320 C in his eyes, spray eau de parfume by dior in them and sew it back into his eyes like that scene in Toy Story 2."
"Seeing as simply filling the page with ‘Damon’ written 10000000 times isn’t going to cut it 😅 may I admit/submit: I DO have him tattooed on my being (no descriptive, is this anon?); he’s inspired somewhat unhinged late night/early morning fandom conversations in which I’ve served as ‘parish’ priest hearing confessions from all manner of folk about what they’d like to do to him/receive from him; sadly I lost an essay where I detailed why the letters that make up his name suit him so well, and described him as the hot caramel sauce to Graham’s cool vanilla ice cream. He’s a faerie princess with a nose that makes people weep and a voice that feels like the warmest home and he gives amazing hugs. He loves trains and chickens and his tuxedo cat. He’s annoying and sweet and somewhat unhinged and his music saves people and all this is on top of that fantastic dick. He’s a dream yet very real and we’re fucking blessed to be on earth at the same time as him, amen"
"Damon Albarn was a beautiful, beautiful boy. The world saw that, regardless of if every individual reading this has the same taste in men; it felt like a truth of the universe at the time. They don't make celebrities that angelic in face and erratic in personality anymore."
"I need to touch his eyebrows, nose and prostate just one time JUST ONE TIME COME ON"
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text 📲 carter & lauryn
Carter: how much damage can inhaling glitter do? Carter: and before you ask it was an accident! but I can't stop sneezing sparkles. am I gonna be ok?!
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Oh No..
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part 4: is it working?
previous
pairing๛: kate martin x iowau!reader
synopsis๛: kate catches you watching your saved edits of her
warnings: slight angst (barely)
not a lot of dialogue in this one, but low-key proof read :D
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It's sunday morning, and you wake up to a bright ray of sun in your face, peeking through the barely-shut curtains. turning over in your very, very warm bed, you notice the time on your phone.
as well as some notifications..
9:23AM
notification center
3 messages from bear🐻
[goodmorning star sunshine!]
[hows the hangover?]
[r u alive]
you reply to her texts and chat for a little bit. she admits halfway through your in-depth conversation about what you drank and what color your throwup was, that she didnt remember anything from last night. ANYTHING. your head was already reeling from the raging hangover you had aquired, and this made it ten times worse. you begin to play a game of eenie-minie-moe with yourself. "do i tell her? do i say nothing? do i ruin it? do i protect my own feelings?" after at least 7 minutes, you come to the conclusion to not say anything. hey, you know what they say! ignorance is bliss!
you climb out of bed and grab some clothes to go take a hot bath. bathes are very good on tense muscles, and aroma-therapy helps to ease anxiety, reduce inflammation and sooth headaches. it was about 10 when you hopped in, and you planned to stay there till the water got cold. after the fact, you showered quickly to wash the grime off and get the hairspray out of your hair. finally getting dressed into a comfy pair of sweats and a oversized shirt, you go to cook some breakfast. cooking breakfast always was a good thinking time for you, as it wasnt super busy in the mornings and you could stand there and watch the eggs or pancakes cook whilst contemplating every decision you have ever made leading up to that moment. todays topic was " what the hell did i do to get into this position with the girl i love!" and it did not dissapoint! feeling that the topic was actually taking years off your life, you decide to give yourself a kate break and call out of work for monday. you used the "im sick *cough cough* and i never take days off!" excuse and it worked surprisingly well!
after a calm morning and breakfast, you chilled on the couch and put on a random show for some backround noise. it was now about 11ish, nearning 12. scrolling through instagram reels, you get a notification that kate posted on her story. (yes, you have her story notifs on.) clicking on the notif, it brings you to her story.
you nearly dropped your phone.
another woman....hiding her face..... LUNCH DATE?!?!?!?!? so shes seeing someone? you've never seen this woman in your life, so obviously a secret. even from you, her best friend. honestly, it took some life out of you. with everything going on between you two, you didn't exactly know how to feel. did you deserve to feel like this, like you had been "betrayed"? part of you knew that that was a little dramatic, but nevertheless still very valid. if there was one thing that Kate and the girls had taught you, its that your feelings will always be valid, whether they change or stay the same. these specific feelings made you lose your appetite, and frankly the will to live. aggressively turning your phone off, you get out of the deep crevice you were shoved in on your couch and make your way back to the bedroom.
"and here, I shall lay"
you dramatically say as you fall onto the bed, draping a hand on your forehead as you do so. you opt to watch "Crazy Rich Asians", just to believe-in some sort of love, and cuddle up in between the sheets. half-way through the movie, you feel multiple buzzes from your phone. opening it up, you see a bunch of texts from a very worried gabbie and caitlin. they know what happened last night, so the story she posted as alarming to them as well.
shhhh🤫
gabbie babbie wabbie
y/n are you alive
sos
hello
caity baby
we saw kates story
obviously its not u cuz ur not tagged
r u ok
gabbie babbie wabbie
lil harsh there cait...
caity baby
whoops sorry
but r u alive
get out of bed
gabbie babbie wabbie
y/n🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
hello🥺🥺🥺
answer pls we miss you and wanna know ur alive
caity baby
y/nnnnnnnnnnn
after scrolling through the messages, you liked a few and explained you were ok, and that you took tomorrow off and are gonna lay in bed for a while. they remind you to eat and be good to yourself and you reluctantly agree and promise to them that you'll comply. finally finishing your heart-wrenching movie, you fall into a light sleep. periodically you respond to your texts, as kate had been texting you quite normally. this includes all the regular nicknames and stupid jokes she always made. you'd be lying if you didn't love the normalcy she was exuding, and that it didn't bring you comfort in your relationship. it just solidified your decision to not tell her about last night, in order to keep what you two have now. you were sure that you could shove all the feelings down and support your long time best-friend in her romantic endeavors (not with you). at about 7 o'clock, kate asked if she could 'stop by' and obviously you agreed.
IF you were being 100% honest with yourself, you were seriously nervous. you hoped that you wouldn't slip about what happened and how you felt about the insta story. at exactly 7:16pm, kate knocked on the door of your apartment and you graciously let her in, immediately being engulfed into a bear hug. she had the biggest smile on her face as she pulled back to look at you.
"hello beautiful" she tucks a piece of hair behind your earn, rubbing her thumb against your blushed cheek. "I missed you today! it feels like its been forever" she pouts at you, doing her signature puppy eyes.
you giggle at her and reply in a blissful tone. "ive missed you too katie bear, how was your day?" pulling away from you, she starts to walk to your bed room, you following close behind. " it was actually really good! I had a really good lunch today. you would've died at how good it was. it was some Italian place downtown." she draws out the emphasis on 'really', and continues to talk as she plops on to your bed. " I went out with my friend nancy, she graduated last year and is interning at a dental place by school" you join her on the bed. "oh yea? is she a new friend?" curiosity killed the cat, but you tried to be as discrete as you could with the tone of your voice. obviously since she was talking about it, she is open to the subject. kate goes on to rant about how she's her new friend, how they met at a coffee place, blah blah blah. then she gets to the surprising part.
"-and then after we talked about edits, she mentioned how she has a whole folder of them! I dont think ive met anyone with a folder of women's ball edits! it was so funny, and then she mentioned how there were a few of me in it! I laughed so hard I-" after she said that you stopped listening and internally crashed out. never met anyone with that?????? does she not remember catching you???? it genuinely boggled you how one of the only people that remembers every single detail about you could forget that. deciding again not to say anything, you mentally join back into the conversation and give her 'mm's and 'ohh yea's to let her know you were acknowledging her rant. the conversation slowly turned into showing each other stupid tiktoks and reels. both of your eyes began to droop, and whilst laying on each other, the two of you fell asleep.
and together you peacefully slept, blissfully unaware of anything else happening in the world
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a/n ◕‿↼ : wooooo finally chapter 4!!!! I finally got a laptop so this is way more fun and wayyy easier to do so im a tad bit more motivated. I know this one wasn't the most exciting and didn't hav much dialogue but there's a lot to come guys dont worry I'm cooking up some good chapters. love you pookies! enjoy pls🤗
#Spotify#kate martin x reader#kate martin#lv aces#wnba basketball#iowa wbb#las vegas aces#wbb x reader#wlw#wlw fanfic#iowa hawkeyes#iowa women’s basketball#oh no#gabbie marshall#caitlin clark#girls kissing girls
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park wonbin as ex-factor lyrics
⊹ ࣪ ˖ wonbin as ex-factor lyrics by lauryn hill ! : 𑁤
riize wonbin : ex!wonbin x cheater!reader ♡ scenarios !
warnings : mentions of cheating, mental health, sex, kys/kms, and cursing not proofread (sorry)
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“loving you is like a battle, and we both end up with scars.” ᯓ★
the wasn’t the first time wonbin caught you cheating on him, and it wasn’t the second time either. wonbin on countless occasions has caught you texting other guys, flirting with the guys from your gym and even full on caught you in bed with another guy. and he’s forgiven you because each time you said you’ve changed and that you’re bettering yourself for him. and he believed you each and every time cause he truly loves you. aside from the cheating you just were emotionally unavailable for him, especially at times where wonbin needed his girlfriend. you were just never around and when you were around you two would bump heads and argue, which only made the tension that was already in the house thicker by each shout. he really loved you that he put up with your temper tantrums, even when he knew you were starting arguments just to be petty he gave in each time knowing he shouldn’t. you would never talk to him so he thought the only way for you to hear him was through yelling.
more under the cut !
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“tell me who i have to be.” ᯓ★
and again wonbin caught you cheating and instead of yelling like he usually does, he let you and that guy finish what you’re doing before saying anything. after the guy left you made your way into the dining room where wonbin was, you felt like shit not because wonbin caught you cheating but because wonbin didn’t even acknowledge the fact you were cheating. you are wonbin’s whole heart but his heart isn’t supposed to ache like this, wonbin started to feel like he had to change in order for you to change. he felt like if he bettered himself to your liking you’d love him how he loves you, without even realizing this whole relationship was taking a toll on his mental health. he’d become more anxious than he ever was, he’d not even feed into your bullshit anymore he’d just let you argue with the wall, he thought that’s what you wanted since anytime he spoke you never listen. but since he wasn’t talking there was no one to ignore. he blames himself for everything wrong in this relationship, it’s clear wonbin doesn’t know his worth and you’re using that to your advantage.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“and when i try to walk away, you hurt yourself to make me stay.” ᯓ★
wonbin was at his breaking point, he was tired of the lies, of the games your playing, of the constant cheating. he felt like if you wouldn’t love him the way he deserved someone else will. wonbun had beeb going to therapy recently to help with his mental health and it’s been helping alot, the therapist would give him reality checks which he needed. at first he would just take everything the lady said as a grain of salt but after he caught you cheating again… he decided to actually listen and do something about it. when he brought up the idea of breaking up you couldn’t handle it, and yelled at him for even suggesting that. you told him that you’d kill yourself if he ever thought about leaving you again. another manipulative tactic you used cause you knew wonbin’s love for you was pure and genuine. he didn’t want to see the woman he loves so much harm herself because of what he wants, you didn’t deserve that and once again wonbin thought you deserved better than him. it’s like the two weeks of therapy was washed away when she threatened to take her own life just so you could stay with her. you weren’t in-love with wonbin, you were in-love with the idea of him.
“wonbin you deserve true happiness, even if that’s not with y/n.”
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“see no one loves you more than me, and no one ever will.” ᯓ★
after awhile everything seems to be going good, you finally stopped cheating. but you also started feeling like shit, and yes this time you feel truly bad for wonbin so you decided you wanted to call things off. “hey wonbin could we talk..?” he sensed some kind of hesitation in your voice and he nodded, he gestured for you to sit but you stayed standing. “wonbin i-” you trailed off… “i think we should end things, you deserve so much more than me. you deserve someone who can make you laugh, someone who can love you like you deserve. i just don’t think i’m that person…” you spoke sincerely. “y/n…” wonbin spoke softly, his eyes watery, “no wonbin this has to be done, i think it’s best if we just move on from one another and let things be.” he reaches out for you, but you stepped back. he nods. you apologize for everything that you did to hurt him, you didn’t want to say it was never your intention to hurt him cause you would be lying. he stood up walking towards you pulling you into a hug for one last time, you hugged him back. he whispered in your love “walking away knowing im still inlove you with is making me tense up, y/n no one loves you more than me.” wonbin spoke softly, you can hear his voice choke as if he’s holding back tears, you knew he didn’t mean it in a way of that you wouldn’t find any to love you, he meant it in a way of that even after all you put him through the lies, the manipulation, the cheating etc he still had love for you, your eyes started to water, “and no one ever will.” you replied.
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author notes : i been thinking about writing some scenarios for ex-factor since this song has been on repeat, i really like how these turned out fun fact i was debating between wonbin and sungchan but i felt like this suited wonbin more. but anywho thanks for reading i really appreciate it! hope everyone is having a good day or night 💗
perm taglist (open) requests (open)
© sqh3e
#riize#riize wonbin#wonbin#wonbin x reader#wonbin x you#riize imagines#wonbin imagines#wonbin scenarios#wonbin x y/n#sqh3e#riize scenarios#riize x reader
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text message 📲 lottie & lauryn
LOTTIE: I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to have four espresso shots added to my coffee. I am a doctor. I know better. LOTTIE: I feel like I'm buzzing, and sleep is not happening. LOTTIE: Luckily, I'm used to not sleeping for a day or two, but as a surgeon that's...ya know, not a great thing. LOTTIE: What if I pass out during a surgery? You think if I run around the block a dozen or so times it'll wear me out enough to get some sleep so I'm not a zombie?
#{ text messages }#{ texts | lauryn }#{ lauryn hayward }#{ ooc | a hyper text! ish. imagine it was all said very quickly and in one breath lol }
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Ardor
Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader💌
Synopsis: Chris feels like Y/N deserves more. And what better way to show this than to take her to her favorite place.🌻
Warnings⚠️: None at all. This shit is just soooo CUTEEEE😭
Song for the imagine: Nothing Even Matters-Lauryn Hill (feat. D’Angelo)
Ardor
Noun
Enthusiasm or passion
Lately Chris and his brothers have been super busy between creating content and touring, that I hadn’t really had a chance to spend time with my boyfriend. Even though the tour ended, and they were back in LA they immediately started filming for their channel.
Personally I didn’t mind this, yes I missed my boyfriend, but this was his job. He always still made time to text me, call me, send me flowers, take me on a few dates.
However this was bothering Chris as he felt like he hasn’t really been able to sit and spend time with me. No matter how many times I told him I didn’t care he still protested against it.
“Y/N no! I feel like I haven’t been here for you, and we haven’t really spent a good amount of time together” Chris would say as we sat on the couch with his arm slung over my shoulder
“Baby, we’re spending time together right now” I told him
“Yes, but also no. I want to be with you, and only you and just spend every second glued at the hip. I want to stare into your eyes and watch the stars, all that romantic movie shit” he told me kissing me on the forehead
“Chris you hate that corny shit” I said laughing
“I’m a changed man mama” he said laughing
“We should take a trip one of these days. Just go to another state and get away” I told him
“Yeah let’s say fuck it and go to like Vermont or some shit” he said back to me
“Oh my god Vermont is so pretty during this time of the year. With all the orange and yellow leaves” I said getting excited
That was two weeks ago, and within a day Chris was getting everything booked. The flight, the Airbnb, the activities. All while I had no idea. Chris had surprised me one day telling me where we were going.
And that brings it to now. We had just got to a small little house in Vermont surrounded by the beauty of the woods and the orange and yellow leaves falling to the ground.
“Baby this is the best thing you have ever done” I told him as we settled into the house
“Anything for my pretty lady” he told me coming over and grabbing me by the waist, pulling me in for a kiss
“Chris I love you so much” I told him kissing him back
“I love you way more pretty girl” he said kissing me on the forehead
We had got to Vermont at 2, and by the time we settled in we decided we wanted to walk to the nearest town and find something to eat.
There was a small town within a 10 minute walk. Chris and I headed out, and as we got into the town we truly enjoyed how tight knight the community was.
“Man I could live here forever” I said looking at every store we passed
“Could you really?” He asked looking over at me
“100%, it’s so small and pretty, and quiet” I told him
“Maybe we could make that happen in the future” he said kissing my hand that he was holding
We had stopped at a small mom and pop restaurant. We sat, and decided to look at the menu.
“Ouu everything looks good” Chris said
“Chris you’re such a picky eater you better ask for chicken tenders and fries” I told him laughing
“Hey! Not nice, but also not wrong” he said laughing
We were interrupted by the waitress
“Hi guys! How are you my names Ari, and I’ll be your server for today” she said smiling at us
“Could I get you started with drinks?” She asked us
“May I have a Dr. Pepper?” I asked her smiling up at her
“And may I have a pepsi” Chris asked, and I laughed. Him and his Pepsi addiction
After we got our drinks we ordered. And the whole time we were laughing at each other, and he was reminiscing about the tour, and how much he loved meeting his fans.
A little while later the waitress came back with our check
“I’ve never seen you guys around here” she said handing the check to Chris who had his hand out
“Oh we’re visiting!” I told her looking up at her
“Ahhh I see! Thats nice. Are you guys on a honeymoon” she asked
“Oh uh-“ but I was cut off by Chris
“Yeah something like that” he said handing her the check back with cash
“Oh that’s so nice! You guys should check out the little cafe across from here! They sell the best homemade cookie dough!” She said
“Thank you! We will” Chris said, “oh and keep the change” he told her
She thanked him and walked away. We walked over to the cafe and purchased some cookie dough, and decided to walk back hand in hand.
“I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me” I said looking over at Chris
“I’m glad you’re loving it pretty mama” he said kissing me on my temple
We had got back to the house, and decided to make some cookies
“CHRIS THATS TOO BIG” I yelled as he rolled a ginormous ball of a cookie
“HA! That’s what she said” he said pointing his finger at me
“Chris…you’re such a child” I told him snatching the huge cookie ball out of his hand and breaking it into smaller pieces
“But you love it” he responded looking over at me
“I really do” I said smirking at him
I put the cookies in the oven, and set a 12 minute timer
“Babe! They have a glass lanai” Chris said running back into the kitchen
“They do???” I said excited
“We have to eat our cookies out there” he said, and I agreed
After the cookies were done I took them out and put them on a plate, and we walked out to the lanai
“Holy shit this is beautiful” I said placing the plate down on the coffee table
“Isnt it” he said looking at me
“I’m a whore for glass lanais” I told him sitting down on the couch
“Interesting choice of words, but yes” he said laughing and also sitting down next to me
He grabbed two cookies, and then sat back, wrapping his arm over my shoulder, and pulling me in towards him
“Here you go my love” he said giving me a cookie
“Thank you” I responded taking the cookie from him and biting into it
“I would’ve never thought I’d be sitting here eating cookies with you, and madly in love” he said eating his cookie
“I would’ve never thought either. You were such a player” I said looking at him to see his reaction
“What?” He said with his jaw dropped
“God we used to hate each other so much” I told him finishing my cookie
“We really did. Never understood why. When you’re the best thing to have ever happened to me” he said also finishing his cookie
“I guess I was scared of falling for the “bad” guy” i told him
“And I was so scared of commitment” he told me
“Isn’t it strange? How people can change from strangers to friends, and then friends into lovers” I asked him
“It truly is, and I’m so glad we did. I love you so fucking much. Like I get emotional and shit” he said pretending to wipe a tear
“Chris, I love you so much. I have no idea what I’d do without you” I told him kissing his cheek
“I think I’d die without you” he said looking at me
“I think I’d die too” I said going in to kiss him
When we pulled away we stared into each others eyes just truly enjoying each others company
I leaned my head back and looked up at the night sky
“Look babe, the stars are shining so bright tonight” I told Chris while pointing at the sky
“Fuck this is so beautiful” he said looking up at the sky with me
“You got your wish. To watch the night sky with me” I told him
“And look how bright they’re shining for you” he said back
“I never want to leave this feeling” I responded back to him
“Me neither” he said
“Chris, I love you so much. This is a love I’ve never felt for anyone. My heart just bursts anytime I look at you, and when I’m with you all my problems are just a mere afterthought” I said to him still looking up at the night sky
“Y/N when I’m with you I never want to leave the moment. I want to hold on to you forever and always. I was so scared of loving someone because I felt I couldn’t get that love back, but you….you showed me new ways to be loved every single day” he said also still looking at the sky
“Out of my mind in love with you” I said back
“I hope in every lifetime you choose me” Chris said back
“Always Chris. I will always choose you” I said snuggling tighter to him
“Good because I will always choose you” he said kissing my head
“It was always you, and it will always be you” I said back to him
Chris let a tear slip out of his eye. Overwhelmed by the immense love he feels for Y/N, and that he’ll always have her no matter what. Chris loved Y/N with every fiber in his body, but most importantly Y/N loved Chris.
The End
I know this is pretty short, but I don’t like to drag out cute stories, but also Idk wtf to say, but I hope you enjoyed❤️
-J💅🏽
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets imagines#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#Spotify
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୨୧- CHAPTER FIVE, rock your body! - ୨୧
summary: ellie texts you and asks— more like beg ( which didn’t take alot to convince you. ) you to go onto her podcast so you guys can clear up everything that’s been happening recently on social media..specifically twitter.
c/n: strong language, ellie being a loser, ellie being a dumbass..again, pervert ellie kinda??, and alot of shit abt to go down on twitter after this tbh..
a/n: hi my loves! so sorry for losing the consistency..💔💔 been feelin kinda lazy but I promise I’ll make it up to u guys. 💋💋
series masterlist! - chapter five ➝ chapter six!
it was finally time to make your way over to ellie’s place to record and you were kinda mad at yourself for giving into ellie’s pleas..and mad at the fact you kept opening up that link to the video of you and ellie kissing on twitter. the way her hand was gripping your ass just did something to you. it was making your head turn and spin and you didn’t understand why it was making you feel this way. “ma’am?? we’re here..” the uber driver cleared his throat and looked at you through the rear-view mirror, “oh- OH! right, I’m so sorry!” you scrambled to pick up your bag and texted ellie that you were outside once you stepped out the car. “press the b7 button. that’s the number to my apartment, it’ll just buzz you in when I answer.” her text read. you did as you were told and walked in once you heard the buzz ring out from the speaker. you walked up the flight of stairs to the second floor and knocked on the door which read b7 and not even 2 knocks in, she answered the door.
“hi ellie..” you awkwardly wave as she looks you up and down while leaning on the door frame. “come in.” she says as she moves away from the door to let you in, you walk in and she follows behind you. “nice skirt. did you wear that for me?” you can hear the shit eating grin on her face as she said that. you turn around and look at her, crossing your arms and sucking your teeth. “can you stop being a pervert and let us get this shit over with.” you frown as she beckoned you to follow her to her living room, where she had her whole setup. two microphones, comfy pillows, freshly lit candles, lighting and a camera setup, and lauryn hill quietly playing in the back. “you can just put your stuff down on the table next to you. I’ll get the camera rolling.” she walks over to the camera as you set your stuff down on the table. “alright the camera’s on.” she says, “hi everyone, welcome or welcome back to the “and what about it” podcast. today I’m here with a very special guest. how are you feeling y/n?” ellie asks, now sitting down and speaking into the mic. “I’m feeling fine..other than the fact I’m here.” you squint at her which in she lets out a laugh. “oh please you’ll survive..now introduce yourself.” ellie looks at you and smirks. “I’m y/n, I’m a fashion influencer and a youtuber.” you respond with a little smile as you do a cute pose for the camera.
“alright stop showing off.” ellie rolls her eyes and you scoff, “you put me in front of a camera bitch, you expect me to not pose?” you sigh and shake your head, “man y’all see how she treats me? anyway, we’re here to clear up the air and talk about what’s been happening recently on twitter.” ellie now looks at the camera and you let out a small laugh. “y’all this all started because ellie messy ass started speakin on me for no reason.” you bust out laughing and ellie tries to hold back a laugh but fails, “you know what…” she pinches her temples and smiles. “she’s not wrong so now I gotta kick her out!” she giggles while you put your hand on your chest and gasp, “nooo oh my god..my life depends on this! please no!” you say while ellie is just crackin up. “ok ok but in all seriousness..I did..maybe..start the twitter beef..” you side eye her, “MAYBE?” you snap your neck towards her, “ok I did, BUT YOU GAGGED ME ON MY OWN PAGE???” ellie frowned and you smiled proudly, “it was deserved, you not gon disrespect me and not expect a response..” you two are laughing uncontrollably into the mics.
about an hour later. ( the video was so unserious. PLEASE. )
“well my ubers here.” you look at your phone and grab your stuff on the table, “thank you for uhm..convincing me to come here. it was actually quite fun..surprisingly.” you walk over to the door and open it getting ready to walkout and leave, but she stops you. “thank you for coming, I appreciate it.” ellie rubbed her neck and you nodded, “you’re welcome. now I gotta go, don’t want the uber to leave.” you rush out her apartment and leave the building, thanking her again over text as you got into the car to go home.
tags: @elsmissingfingers @machetegirl109 @sawaagyapong @ohitsjordynn @villainousbear @loversquarr3l @mariefilms @lonelyfooryouonly @zahraaziza @ariianelle @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @vnus-starr @uraesthete @qvrcll @kenz-ee @p1llowthoughtss @bananaminion678 @flyestvenustrap @thereasonurgay @444na0m1 🩷🩷
#brackishkittie#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x reader#jesse the last of us#modern!ellie williams#jesse tlou#dina nolastname#dina tlou#dina the last of us#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x y/n#ellie williams tlou#ellie x reader#ellie williams x black!reader#ellie x you
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