#{ i just dont have the time and muse to write here right now }

[endbeginning]

and if i said.... pet.er peve.nsie.....

[netscapenavigaytor]

if i had a nickel for every time while headcanoning character dynamics that don't exist much in canon, i ended up making the fan-favorite yaoi pairing instead a worryingly toxic friendship that's only hanging on by a thread, i would have two nickels but it's weird that it happened twice

[kurthorton-moving]

I'm. Overwhelmed

[nemesyaaa]

a house in nebraska ! rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; you were the reason he won't come home but you still call home. this story is based on the song of ethel cain.

warnings : it's angst. fully angst. it's about toxic relationship. so violence, arguing and fighting, sick behavior, daddy and mommy issues, the urge of love and being loved, mentions of drugs, the feeling of being misunderstood and unsteady. home is used as a metaphor of relationship. it's about inner rage too. slight of smut but very little. both rafe and reader being fucked up. southern goth/small town coded.

author's note : it's my first time writing angst so be easy one me please ! as i said, it's based on " a house in nebraska" by ethel cain (because she's my favorite artist and my muse.) and a lot of her songs make me think of rafe, but i also take inspo of her others songs like crush, strangers, and hard times. also a hint of bet on losing dogs by mitski.

i dont know how many words are in this works, but i think around 3k ? it's a one-shot ! BETTER TO READ IT WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG. (a house in nebraska (live version)or anything else)

you lived in the nebraska with rafe, he was your man and you were his girl. it was a small town that allowed you to be just him and you against the world, to be safe from the rest. but the ugly truth was that your house had become a raging mess. the mattresses had become dirty, the silence too comfortable, the night too long, the emptiness too deep, the love too absent and the violence too present. everyone was angry here, even demons and the silence.

rafe was a storm, and every time you tried to calm it, you became further worse. no, you weren't becoming like him, you were becoming him, the mirror of his emotions, full of rage and inexpressible feelings. like a bomb, you needed it to come out, to scream and explode. like a bomb, you needed to hurt, and destroy everything in your way.

you had built this house together, when he still worked with his hands, oh god, how much you loved those big and strong hands, the dirt and bruises on his skin. the softness of his palms when he touched you, the pulsating veins engraved. they were made to love you, to caging you. they were always rushed with blood and wounds because of his work, but despite how dirty they were when he came home, they were always pure and clean on your body. but you also were so in love with his messy sweaty hair, caressing by the wind. he was tall and handsome, the kind of man who worked all day, and drunk at night, some whiskey or bourbon. but never missed to please the needs of his girl.

when he smoked his red marlboros on the porch, you were sitting on his lap like a sleepy girl to take a nap on his heavy arms that managed to hug your body. when he took a sip of his cold beer, while you had nothing to do but being his own pretty girl. when he allowed you to bathe him, cleaning the mess and the sweat. when you used to learn him how to play some classic music on the old piano, and he was just turned on by the way you used so damn well your fingers, and making you sit on the board, and fuck you right there, even if the windows were wide open.

at this time, you would have die for him.

when he still listened to what you said, when he still answered your calls and did not make you sick by his silence, when you laughed every time he came home . but now you were starting to hate the fact that he was coming.

how did the man who was supposed to make you so happy manage to break you so easily? but you weren't an angel either, oh far from it, you had neither wings nor halo on your head, you didn't even have god in your heart. you made him, like all men, your enemy.

it was four in the morning, it was still dark, you were waiting in the living room.

the tv wasn't on. rafe had broken it during an argument. that wasn’t the only thing he shattered, you had to be the hardest thing he does. not even with his fists, with just the force of his words, the way they were murderous, the way they had the force to tear your heart open and crushed it into pieces.

most people would say that this man was not the type to cry, that a man doesn't cry, but rafe cried. and you had seen him a couple of times, and the first time you saw him burst into tears, you knew straight away that it was the real him. that behind all this hatred, this anger, there was a hurted little boy. and who grew up with an open wound, a wound impossible to heal, even with all the love in the world.

rafe was the kind of man who screamed, who cried, who bled, a fallen angel who had lost god along the way, who had been ignored, but mostly, never heard.

when he opened the door to the house, you hated the strong smell of alcohol, but also of blood. you never asked him for anything, the only thing you wanted was for him to come home on time for dinner, to go to bed with you. but no one, absolutely, no one tamed a dog like him. and you rathered not bet on losing dogs.

“where were you ?? ” you had already started shouting due to lack of patience, getting up from the chair to confront him.

you had seen him sigh, making that bored face, like you had no reason to be upset, that face that made all women become even worse.

“if you had the same energy to scream when we fuck, we would have a fantastic sex life.”

“seriously, rafe? you want to play the asshole, right now ? ”

“ it will suit your bitch behavior, so why not ?”

you slapped him very hard in the face. what obviously rafe didn't find this very amusing, he crushed you in the wall, pinned your hands above your head.

“ don't you dare slapping me again. you want to be mean, sweetheart ? i can be meaner. let's see....oh this is the necklace that your mom offered to you before leaving ? how sweet. maybe, i can sell it for a good price. ”

“ rafe. don't. ”

he shushed you, by putting his other hand on your mouth. “ you're not allowed to talk right now. you had your turn for, now, it's my fucking turn. and i will do whatever the fuck i want ! it's my house, my rules. ”

he unhooked the necklace, as you tried to break away from his grip but he closed his fingers tighter against your wrists.

“I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do, i'm going to kill you. ”

“murder me” he said with a louder voice. “i’m asking you to murder me! it’s probably the only good thing you’ll have done well in your life. you know even if i die tonight, i will die yours. even if you kill me, i will always be here.”

he released you, and you exploded. ���you have exceeded the limits, rafe! ”

” since when are there boundaries between us, sugar? we're freaks, remember? ”

you threw away the first object you found, it was an empty coffee cup. you threw it at his face. but he had dodged it with a sick smile. your jaw clenched, eyes blazing with fury, you were out of control. you were what he wanted you to be every time he came home late

” oh you can do better than that baby. i'm sure i taught you how to shoot better than this when i showed you how to kill? do you remember? ”

“ this, this fucking attitude, rafe is why everybody leaves you ! ”

“ yes. and do i fucking care, y/n ? do i fucking care ? i grew up in a family where nobody loved me, nobody reached after me, nobody looked after me, nobody dared to pay attention to me and you tell me i have to care about everyone leaving me ? no, it's not fucking fair ! so do you understand ? i don't care. if you want to leave, you know better than me that the door is open because you're the only one to be stucking in front, waiting like a fucking dog that i come come. ”

“ fine. i leave ! ”

you took the keys of the car, even if rafe hated that you drove, especially at midnight. but you were too upset, too mad.

your man wasn't done with you. he stood in front of the car you were driving.

“if you think i'm afraid of killing you, when you were the one who taught me how to do that, you're wrong. ”

" yes ? then show me how well i did my job. kill me. ”

“ rafe, i’m not kidding. ”

“ perfect, we are both serious then. ”

you moved the car forward, pressing the pedal with your feet. you hitted him with the car. it was strong but not violent either.

you got out of the car quickly to check on him. but he was smiling, a little blood on his face.

“are you sick!? ”

“ i raised you well, i fear. now, lick this face. i can see in your eyes how pretty you find me covered with blood, so please yourself, lick it all. ”

“ wait, i will find some tis….”

“ no, with your tongue. clean my whole face with your tongue. don't waste anything. i want to be able to kiss you right after, and recognize the taste of my blood all over your mouth. you want to be sick ? make me feel sick too. ”

maybe you were too young to realize that some loves could be bad. but this relationship was toxic. you had both destroyed each other, and it was complicated when you saw this world, this universe only through your union. you felt like you had lost a lot, like you had lost everything, like you had failed. maybe, you were the failure, and rafe, the problem. but also, maybe, he was the failure and you, the problem.

and you hated not knowing what was going on in rafe's head, you hated that no one on this earth could figure it out, and that even rafe himself didn't know it. he was crazy, he was sick but that wasn't all, it couldn't be just that.

you gave up the fight, going to the bathroom to take a bath. you needed some peace because the house didn't feel like a home anymore.

sometimes wheezie would call you to see if you were okay, she had grown up, and you lied to her all the time. because it hurt so much to be two in a relationship, but not feel like you were a part of it anymore. and the worst part of it all was that you could kill yourself for just one minute of affection, just one second of happiness, just one moment in the past when everything was okay. where rafe was still the sweet little boy you knew. but the stories were not meant to have a happy ending.

it was hard this feeling, this lack when he still lived with you in this terrible house. but one day you'll be the reason he won't come home again. but you would always call home. you promised yourself. because it would always be yours.

rafe had joined you in the bathtub. and you could tell by his red and empty eyes, his blank stare that he had been crying. he cried and he was not the drugs, he was you, only you.

and you didn't mention it. you didn't say anything. you preferred to stay smart and not start another fight.

“the walls could break down with so much screams. ” you said, laughing slightly.

“maybe we should sell the house. ”

“i like this house. i feel at home here. i have nowhere to go. ” you lied for the two first, but not for the last.

and it was true. you had built everything, paved everything here. you had remade a world. you couldn't leave, you couldn't leave anything. and above all, you were too tired to leave.

it would be a lie to say that you didn't had sex in the bathtub, that you didn't feel his tears on your shoulder, that you didn't feel his thrusts get harder each time a sob broke out his empty eyes, that you didn't feel how much he was breaking every time you took pleasure. because, it was hard for him to seeing you being happy. because it was so hard to take care of you. because it was so hard to feel loved and being loved. you were both too young, too stupid, too sick for love.

and rafe wanted to make you happy without sex, without all this selfish sex. no, he wanted to make you happy by some casual things. but sometimes, you pissed him off so bad to the point, he wanted to leave. but how can a man who hoped to be loved can leave the woman who promised to cherish him ? it was too tired, too angry, and too unsteady to leave. you broke him too. and it was sad for him, because you were the only one he was not scared to tell it hurts.

but at six in the morning you were fighting again as if it were a ritual, a need, a desire to destroy each other, as if sometimes love needed to be violent and destructive to work. actually, for freaks like you, surely.

“why did you throw my fucking drugs down the toilet?! ”

“because you don’t need that!” ”

“you don’t know what i need, you barely know what i want! you had no fucking right to do that. ”

“ don't be a crybaby ! ”

“ repeat. i dare you to repeat. ”

“crybaby! you're a fucking crybaby, rafe! your new personality changes nothing about the boy you were and will always be! what, you don't like the truth ? bad for you, i'm about to tell you what everyone doesn't want to tell you. because i'm not scared at all of you ! you're a fucking crybaby ! ”

“ but you're still here, you're still fucking here. because you know what ? i'm maybe a crybaby, but i'm a river worth wading. and this is why, you're standing in front of me with all this confidence. you wanted a broken man, you wanted someone to fix ? then come on baby, i'm here, i'm watching you, i'm listening, i'm literally at your feets, fix me ! fix the little boy you wanted, make him better. ”

“ rafe…”

“no, i'm asking you now who do you think you are? do you think that because you have this attitude, it doesn't make you a little girl who needs her daddy? because damn, yes, you need him. but i fear daddy was the only one who didn't need you because guess what ? he left. and you make all the men leave around you ! but the difference between us is that you care. when i fucking dont care.”

“ you're sick, a sick asshole. and don't touch me ! ” you pushed him away, but he came back, his hand on your throat. “ but you're the sick one who loves me, remember that ?” he answered.

“ but do you think i still love you ? ” you said with a smirk, taking pleasure to see his widen eyes. “ i'm asking you right now, do you think i still love you, and if one day, someone will like you like i do ? it would be so hard for you to find happiness after me, i can promise you this. you will fight a lot. because ? can you see ? can you see i can breathe without you, i can live without you ? but you, can you do this ? yes, you can fight, you can scream and shout but what else ? ”

“ it doesn't hurt, y/n. it doesn't hurt. and you can't break me, as you can't fix me. ”

“ then why are you crying, big boy ? why are those tears for, if not for me ? ”

“ i built a home for you, i did everything for you. ”

“ and then what ? ”

“ don't make me regret it, y/n. don't make me regret the only good thing i've made well in my life, just don't make me regret...this. you don't understand. why did every house i'm in never felt like home ? ”

“ you destroy everything, rafe. but me too, i guess. the difference is that you have an excuse, a reason for being like that. your dad fucked up with you. and i hate him for that. if he had loved you correctly, you would have known and learned how to love people, how to be attached to them. but you don't know any of that, you don't know what it is to love, and to be loved. everything i do for you, you could call it love, even when i'm mean. but it's false, love is tender, it's beautiful. but you know, i think i'm sick because i also like the way you love me, this violence, this rage, this impulsiveness, it drives me crazy but it makes me alive. so, do you think you could do it again? ”

“ why you didn't leave, why you never leave ? ”

“ because it's our house. we're stuck in forever. this is our house in nebraska, our only heaven. now be a good boy and cry a little for me, i think i'm going away a little...” you said, taking him in your arms, your hand placed on his back, and your hand pressed to his cheek. “don’t worry, i cry a lot too. all the time, even when you make me happy. ” you shushed him, bursted in tears in the hug.

you kissed him on the corner of his lips, your mouth meeting his tears, before he joined you in this kiss, you felt his sad and salty tongue against yours, his hands came squeeze your waist.

but now in the present, you were alone. the house still existed but it was just you.

you weren't sleeping anymore, because you kept hoping that he would come home, you were hoping that he would come home late at night.

but you were alone in a dirty and cold mattress. and you prayed for him hoping he was okay. the phone was broken but you were hoping to hear it ring, the door was open and you were waiting for a sign.

nothing was right, everything was wrong. you just wanted to say to rafe that he had you, that he had a house, and his home missed him, like nobody ever does in his life.

you didn't realize that you had been lying all this time, and that you were silently dying. but at least you died, only his.

[jacesvelaryons]

Can I get uh…. A social media au of Tom Blyth x fem!rockstar!reader? Just a tad bit of self indulgence, I guess lmao.

But in all seriousness, I ADORE YOUR WORK AND IT IS STELLAR!! KEEP IT UP AND DONT STOP WRITING 🥰☺️👏

Tom Blyth x Fem!Rockstar!Reader

social media au

sorry this took some time but hope you like it! 🥺i’ll try to post more now that i’m feeling better and have some time. please continue to request, as always, my inbox is open.

REQUESTS OPEN.

yourusername

liked by tomblyth, hunterschafer and 500k others

my life nowadays

hunterschafer my angel

↪️ yourusername love of my life when I kiss you again

lilygladstone are you blonde or brunette? 🤔

↪️ yourusername both 🤭I change my mind

paulmescal 🙏

↪️ yourusername glad to see you today brother

gigihadid a rockstar as always

↪️ yourusername love youuu 😘

nuriaavegaa had the time of my life tonight girl!

↪️ yourusername so glad to meet you finally!

↪️ user wait if yn and nuria met..it has to be through tom right 👀she was with him in btk

harrycollettactor awesome show!

↪️ yourusername thanks bud! invite me to your next rave soon

callumhood rock on! 🤘

↪️ yourusername always!

tomblythfiles

liked by userfan76 and others

tom spotted at a restaurant in la yesterday

user he looks so good

randomfan wasn't yn on tour in la yesterday

↪️ ynfan yes she was 👀

user I saw him at this restaurant yesterday and I think he was sitting next to a blonde

↪️user that has to be yn omg

ynfans this has to be taken on a microwave lmao

user y'all better leave them alone if they're having a date if they want you to know they're together they will

↪️ynfan exactly

yourusername posted a story

tomblyth

liked by mayahawke and others

paradise.

russelltovey hope you had the time of your life mate!

↪️ tomblyth sure did thanks man! 🩷

carmenenemmi well deserved rest after a long strenuous shoot!

↪️ tomblyth absolutely! had the best time with you and the crew

nicholasgalitzine ☀️

jonathan.anderson my darlings

↪️ yourusername love you jonathan! had to wear your newest pieces you sent me

lukehemmings have fun!

liked by tomblyth

↪️ user wait yourusername had a song with him last year there’s got to be a coincidence how they know each other

yourusername

liked by ellefanning and others

rachelzegler girl i want you and imma have you 😍

↪️ yourusername oh girl stop it 🙈

↪️ joshandresgarcia excuse me?

↪️ rachelzegler look away 😗

user damn yn your bobbies

↪️ yourusername you like my necklace baby? 🥵

↪️ user always

conangray okay beach girl!

↪️ yourusername missed you so much, you should’ve come! we should hang soon

↪️ conangray wanted to give you two lovebirds privacy dw 😝

user that’s got to be tom blyth her new man

↪️ user yn single era over

↪️ user hot girl summer!

lilyrose_depp my angel

↪️ yourusername that’s you honey

sydneysweeney she’s glowing!!

↪️ yourusername my sunshine twin i love you

tblythfans

liked by user and others

a now deleted story by yourusername with tom earlier today

user theyre so cute

user before anyone calls them a cheater they’ve both been single for a while; y/n broke up with her ex last year while tom has been single for several months

↪️ user thank you

user how adorable for him to come out for her shows

yourusername

liked by billieeilish and others

just got home from vacation but here’s my treat…new single out friday. get him back.

avantika SO EXCITEDD PRE ORDERED IM SAT

↪️ yourusername i love you so much so thankful for you my love

hannahfkdodd 🩷

liked by yourusername

jbayleaf going to be amazing as always!

↪️ yourusername jonathan, oh my god!! ty

tomblyth my angel of music

↪️ yourusername my muse my inspiration

↪️user im so single 😭

charithra17 you’re so talented

↪️ yourusername and so are you!

[sejmisland]

prev anon here again!! here's my request (i hope it's okay to mix fandoms?) :}

could you write something involving hux, wheatley, and glados "comforting" (in big quotation marks) the reader who's having a bad bout of the monthly cramps? like, so bad they literally can't walk without crying lmao. i'd love if the reader was already in an established relationship with the bot(s) but you can make it non-romantic if you want!

absolutely, dear. more than okay to mix fandoms <3. i decided to do hcs and small drabbles for all 3. im so sorry this took so long im actually having bad cramps rn. thank you for the request! i had a lot of fun writing this.

established relations with reader below, gender neutral, no pronouns used (afab anatomy).

hux / the singularity. - he is terrible at emotional comfort due to his logical approach, but he tries! its only through words mostly but as time goes on, he gets forms of "treatment" (heating pads, medicine). - it first started when you walked, pain so blinding that you felt tears come to your eyes. he noticed this immediately. - "what is the matter?" he'd ask and you try to explain it to him. you explain that it was monthly cramps as you felt like doubling over. - he simply picks you up with his claw and rests you on a nearby couch.

"growth hurts," he mused as he remained in front of you resting on the couch. his entire body jolted, head ticking to the side with rough movement. he lifted a mechanical leg to rest it on the couch next to your seated position. he hoisted himself up and spun quickly, sitting himself down alongside you. "it often does." you lifted your eyes to him, leaning aside to rest your head against his fleshy, pulsating arm. you closed your eyes, allowing the tears in your eyes to trail down your face. your chest heaved with each quiet sniffle and sob of agony as your stomach sent another wave of contraction. "quit blabbering," you pressed your teeth into your tongue. "it will not help." you opened up your eyes to turn your head up to him. "i know, i'm sorry. it-" you choked on a small whimper. "it just hurts, hux." your voice cracked as you whispered up to him, tears obscuring your vision. the only clear thing were his glowing, red eyes as he stared down at you for what seemed like an eternity. "it will all be over soon. do not fret, my worm."

wheatley.

- he cant provide much, but if you like hearing him babble to help distract. - he noticed tears in your eyes as you twisted in your chair in an uncomfortable, painful way. - VERY concerned. he noticed your pain right away! he's scared, almost terrified of seeing you in pain. - "are you okay?! hey, what's wrong? y-you dont need to cry, you know!" and when you explain to him..

"oh, OH! wait, you- oh! hold on, it's okay, oh, please don't cry. don't cry!" wheatley stammered, beginning to tick his ocean blue eye all over the room, as if he was searching for something. "umm, what to do... what to do- i've never done this before. at least, i don't think so-" "wheatley," you rasped out quietly through the mounting pain, smiling as he talked himself through the situation. you glanced up to the sky blue eye that was now dilated, shaking as it focused on you. "shhh, shh, its okay! give me one second! you'll love this." you couldn't help but silently chuckle as you watched the small robot steer himself on the rail with the occasional spark letting loose from his eye plates. "you'll... you'll need to catch me." he gave no further warning; he ejected himself from his rail with an incoherent blabber, crashing into your arms. the force was enough to knock your limbs back, making him slam into your already hurting abdomen. you let out a pained yelp and he returned it with one of his own. "sorry, sorry! j-just a mishap! didn't expect that-" you looked down at him, cradling him into your arms. "butterfingers, ha!"

glados.

- much like hux, she is terrible at comfort. she seems cruel but this is in her tone of voice. her comfort? observation. - she didnt notice it at first. so when she saw you walking, tears streaming down your face and mouth screwed in a grimace, she was confused. she thought you were injured. - "what is going on? what happened?" she does sound concerned with a hint of confusion. "what have you gotten yourself into now?" you explain that you're not *injured* but simply in pain from your monthly. - an awkward silence afterward. it doesnt last long.

"your resilience is commendable, but unnecessary." her monotone voice rang out as the yellow pupil stared down at your agonized form. "do not move." all of the panels surrounding the room shift in wave like motions, almost masking a hissing noise from around you. you turned your head from side to side to see glass panels rising up, entrapping you in a transparent cell. she looked on as you panicked, nearly falling against one of the glass panel walls. when you looked back to her, vision blurry from the tears still pooling in your eyes, she swayed aside as if she was monitoring your every move. you blinked several times, attempting to focus your vision. "glados," you hissed out through grit teeth as you squeezed your arms around yourself tighter in hopes to lessen the pain of your contracting muscles. "what are you doing?" "i need to think," she swung her chassis closer to your glass prison, almost completely taking up your clearing vision. you blinked rapidly to gain focus. "observation is crucial."

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ RECKLESS

["it's a good thing you're not here, because i still havent found my courage."]

| ✮ 4.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers ahead]

okayyy let me just start off with WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK WAS THAT ENDING LAUREN???? i'm not okay because of it. like nuh uh get lost. u had no right to do that (im saying this as if it didnt get spoiled for me and i didnt gaslight myself the entire book read that it wasn't going to happen)

i would like to straight up say this seemed like a filler book. just a set up for the next one, it didn't really have all too much plot-wise aside from pae and kai's romance. it was less on the fantasy side and more on the romance but i still enjoyed it a lot. and obviously since it was a filler book there was less character development (for some- im looking at you paedyn)

kai and pae were really cute in this book honestly (and as it mostly focuses on the romance ofc they were) the banter and everything was so wonderful to read i was giggling and kicking my feet wayyy to much. the romance was romancing but also not romancing at the same time (im not even gonna try to explain that just use vibes)

i do feel as though lauren's writing has definitely improved from powerless. she has this whimsical magical style of writing that i love it really takes me into the world of the book (mostly). other times the long sentences were too much in moments. like lauren. we did not need to know the colour of the bricks in the market at this certain moment in time when you'd already explained the colour two pages ago-

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

paedyn - ok i love her. i really do she's such a good fmc BUT for me in this book she was boring-ish. and hella indecisive like girly pop if i had kai talking to me like that i'd be folding so damn fast- but yeah it felt like she didn't have too much character development aside from finding out her dad was actually her dad. also i idk who the fuck she was trying to fool with her 'i hate you' to kai, like be fucking for real bitch no you dont.

kai - ok bye i could write a whole rant on why i love this man. like im sat. this book felt more like kai's book (as powerless felt like pae's) imo we got more on his backstory and i think his character (and povs) were more interesting for me to focus on. also his flirting and little one liners had me giggling and shit my sister actually woke up to me grinning like an idiot under torch light-

kitt - bye idek why i made this section for him. this is going to entirely be hate fr. OKAY WE GET IT DUDE UR A GHOST WHATEVER. OH MY GOSH U MISS UR DAD BUT IN THE NEXT POV U DONT LIKE BITCH CHOOSE A SIDE IDC ABT UR WHINY ASS. ALSO U CLEARLY HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH PAEDYN LIKE FUCKING HELL DUDE SHE IS UR 'MUSE' OR WHATEVER GET OVER YOURSELF. EUGH AND THEN PROPOSING TO HER?? YEAH SURE BUDDY "YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER DIED" MHM YUP OKAY TOTALLYYY *clears throat awkwardly* can you tell i hate him?

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [its like all kai... im not even sorry about it either]

"you are my proof of paradise." - kai

"call us even. call me crazy. i don't care. just... just call me yours." - kai

"under different curcumstances i promise you im much more fun tied up." - kai (WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREECHED AND STARED AT THE PAGE. MALAKAI AZER-)

"just pae and kai." - kai

"she was supposed to be my forever. now i'll watch her become someone else's. because the beast doesn't get the beauty." - kai

jahsdgj i can't wait for the next book hehe

[maxmoffs]

gonna just post this quick psa yap about my interactions here on wanda and the rest of my blogs from here on out , then i'll be fully committed and indulged into finally ! fulfilling my owed starters , inbox and drafts and writing entirely, just because i want to get it out of my chest and so that im fully comfortable and happy with my blogs and want to be able to come on without feeling so anxious ! this is the most I’ve approached everyone and bravely finally after being shy and hesitant so pls be proud of me uwu . it’s been a long time coming i know , im finally actively interacting, i do know that i had been so yappy ooc the past weeks that just went by! its because i haven't been doing anything but work and training and with the christmas holidays chaos, so it had gotten me incredibly sporadic which is the reason for my lack to keep a consistent flow of my writing on all my blogs no matter how much i wanted to ! i actually have no idea who is following me or not still from the last time ppl had been more enthusiastic of when i made wanda weeks ago uuhuhu , but i hope all of you are still interested because when i write and post all my owed writing its both old and new bahaha just bc i hadnt had the proper opportunity to write wanda as how ive been wanting to with full focus like right now bc i had been so busy :( <3 please continue below for the psa , i appreciate you if you do get where im coming from <3 because after this , i want to just feel happy writing wanda and the rest of my muses . without feeling like i have to prove my worth or place , but im finally at a good mental balance of both , and i now have slower days since christmas is finally at its end of holiday chaos for me work wise which was the only thing holding me back and life is life and i will now stop for apologising to be slow ! i now have discord anyways , which is also finally open and im migrating to as an avenue to 'yap' and plot with those that dont mind my excitment hahahaahah so as long as we're mutuals , im already a big yapper and will always be welcoming , so you are welcome to add me just pls understand that i do get overstimulated or busy sometimes but i'll use it more now ( arden1ly . )

im gonna just consider this as an add to my rules . but as i continue here on out now , i think i will now stop following people first anymore unless obvs we are moots and you're moving blogs . and will just focus my time and attention to those of you that just want to write with me and wanda and my multi , who are already here, my mutuals and my mains / friends who's stuck by and been patient and understanding with me . i will always be an open book , and will always always keen a nurturing and safe environment because i love writing , and love being able to write with everyone as best i can, but will no longer go too above and beyond to push myself to others and i will always be here to come back to when the interest rises again of interest to write with me , because at the end of the day ! im here to write with you ! and along with that , a bonus when i create wonderful friendships which i also know and feel that i have now <3

it is what it is, and i have lost a few wonderful moots i had been writing with a couple of weeks back out of the blue that i never even noticed probs bc of that very reason , i have kept myself quite so very open book and half of the time i literally dont know whats going on so i tend to really keep my and i noticed that it definitely scared ppl that my inability to hold my excitement can be sometimes excessive so i will try to refrain from it now , because ive always advocated kindess and positvity on my blog and nothing else ! but i know tumblr is so scary! and can be so judgemental , and im a super open book but also can barely keep up so sometimes i barely scroll through tumblr, but i always try my best. from here on out though , obviously i will always and stay welcoming especially if you are a mutual already here , but i just no longer want to keep apologising for my speed / slow -ness , or for my personality bc really half of the time its just me approaching with excitement to write and interact, but ive noticed that its probs annoyed ppl , and i dont want to also be annoying for anyone <3

[cyber-neptune]

Legalize being able to mess around with characters WHILE BEING AWARE that they're ooc.

Sometimes you just wanna share stuff you made up as an inside joke or just wanna try projecting some stuff as a way to cope or to try and express yourself without someone screaming at you for "Making them OOC".

I'm honestly so tired of this shit and I know Im no better for giving this dog shit situation more attention but for fuck sake.

I am AWARE my goofy headcanons/shitpost/whatever ARENT CANON / ARE OOC. You literally don't need to harass me over it.

"He wouldn't act like that"

I KNOW!! I FUCKING KNOW!!! I just wanna make up stuff and have fun with shitty parallel universe is it that fucking hard to understand or did you have a stick shoved up your ass since day one?!

I've been giving multiple explanations as to why I like making shitty things for fun yet no one seems to understand. So ill go ahead and say it here and hope people will get off my back about it.

Hi, my name is Zero and I make cringy fem Megatron content. I am well aware it isn't canon and aligns with next to nothing. I'm only making content for fun. This whole girl-Megs thing started as a joke and soon became something I enjoyed experimenting with. While you have the normal "everything is the same except Megatron is a girl lol" I decided to post my headcanons I made up for fun while being AWARE that they're fanon and ooc.

Like I mentioned, it's just for fun.

However, people decided to go ahead and harass me instead of doing the mature thing. Which is either

A) scroll past it

Or

B) block me

This has been putting a lot of stress on my mental and emotional health. It's been messing with my self esteem because I'm a people pleaser who always tries to make things right even if it's something I don't enjoy.

Megatron is a comfort character for me and some sort of muse. I like drawing tfp Megs because he's one of the first tf character I learned to draw. I use him as a placeholder for a fan continuity/personal design.

This is one of the main reasons why a lot of headcanons/shitty takes dont make sense. Because im tailoring them to my own continuity.

I will now repeat myself;

I know my headcanons/shitposts aren't Canon.

'TFP Megatron' is a placeholder for my Megatron design im still working on.

I am aware what I write is insanely OOC.

Megatron is a comfort character and a muse for me.

This has done nothing but mentally fuck me up. I'm sincerely hoping this is the last time I have to speak up on this.

[dw-writes]

Once Bitten, Twice Angry - Miguel O'Hara x Anti Hero!Reader

So. This isnt planned to be a fic - in fact Im writing it on my phone (which is something I NEVER do). But the idea came to me today and its itching the inside of my skull so I decided to write it down. Its silly - just an thought experiment to get the Across the Spiderverse brain worms out.

This isnt intended to be a romantic fic, either. At the point of writing this author blurb, i dont even know how Miguel fits into it beyond the main idea of him being venomous.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think

This isnt edited, and was typed out pretty quickly on a phone. I apologize ;;

WARNINGS: Swearing; Violence

"I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here." The bank robber - his name was Ryan, you remembered, and he was a pretty decent guy, just down on his luck too many times - nodded and mumbled behind the collect of irridecent that coated his mouth. You propped your foot on the side of another robber - Julian, Julius, Juli-something, he never really talked that much to you - as he tried to squirm towards his fallen weapon. "It's weird, right?" you mused, "One day, I'm the Black Cat, Nueva York's greatest burglar, the next I'm--" you cut yourself off as you hooked a foot around Juli-such-and-such's hip and tossed him across the bank floor. He released a muffled shout.

"Okay, so, what do you think of Moon Weaver?" you asked, "Too much?"

"Ain't there a Moon Knight?" someone in the bank quipped.

You twisted around, snapping your fingers down on your new, and very much stolen, web shooter. The man crumbled back against a cabinet. He was a banker, and annoying during robberies.

"I didn't ask you? I still don't know if you're gonna be saved by me yet," you replied. You turned back to Ryan. "No Moon Weaver?" you asked.

He shook his head.

"Damn," you sighed, "Anyway, I was telling this to my therapist up on the seventh floor - you should see her by the way, she's great - and we were going over how this started, but since you so rudely interrupted my therapy session, you get to hear it." You crouched in front of him. "Don't worry, you're not gonna remember a thing anyway. I'll make sure of it."

Ryan didn't reply.

You stood back up. "So, let's start at the beginning." You waved your hand as you paced away to another bank robber, kneeling to scoop up his limp ankle. "Remember that heist I was doing a few months ago? Priceless heirloom, lots of money, you know how it is. I was on the job, like normal, when that fucking Spiderman shows up." You dropped the man's ankle and crouched in front of Ryan again. "Have you ever seen him without his mask? He's kinda hot, but in that infuriating "I really wanna punch you" kinda way?"

Ryan merely stared at you. He wasn't a very good audience.

You huffed. "Anyway. He showed up, we did the whole song and dance - the chase, the quips, the obvious flirting with a good layer of sexual tension - and I give him the slip." You frowned at your own memory of that night, planting your fists on your hips. "Except, I didn't. He caught me around the corner, and we went down, grappling. I think I hit him a little too hard in a place that I shouldn't've - that's rude in a fight, you know - because he yelled and suddenly bit my shoulder." You turned back around. "He bit me! Like a four year old!"

You thought Ryan mumbled something that sounded like, "Seriously?" but it was too hard to make out.

So, you replied with, "Yeah! And I went home, and I started feeling weird." Then, you crouched again, your fingers dancing over your knees. "And you know how we all kinda know that he's a weird little freak that's, like, part spider, or werewolf, or vampire, or something freaky? Yeah, I think whatever it is gave me powers," you whispered.

Ryan's eyes went wide.

You shrugged and stood, cupping your fingers around his head. "Yeah, it was weird. And now, here we are!" Your fingers tickled as a surge of electricity arched away from them and through his skull. "Not that you'll remember it," you mumbled.

The robber thrashed as you stepped away, then slumped to the ground. You watch him for a moment, frowning, waiting to make sure he was still breathing. When he groaned, you stepped back.

Then, you snapped your fingers, turning around to face the whole group of thieves you had piled in a corner. "Oh, what about Night Spider? That's pretty cool!" you asked.

"It's pretty," came a delayed reply. You looked over your shoulder. It was a customer, one of the few that was still curled up on the floor.

You smiled, and bowed at the waist. "Why thank you," you preened, standing, and waving your arm towards the door, "What're you all still waiting around here for? Get outta here!" You watched as the customers scrambled to their feet. "And tell the cops it was Night Spider that helped you!" You backed away, eyeing an exit you normally took to escape a bank with a similar layout. "Not Spiderman."

You bolted as the cops rushed into the building.

Miguel watched from atop the roof across the street, an annoyed scowl etched deep into his face. He knew he shouldn't have bitten you that night - but how could he have known you'd have such a reaction?!

And now, you went from being a pain in his side to a fucking problem.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned, swearing under his breath.

Lyla would never let him live it down.

[fangbangerghoul]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Tagged the other day by @roguishcat Sorry this is so late I turned off my notifications at the start of my semester. I've been really stressed lately.

When did you start writing?

Kindergarten. Jk. Um...fanfiction? 2007/08? It was personal writing with a friend in a bunch of notebooks. Didn't start posting till 2022 when The Batman came out. (dont look into this fact)

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I almost exclusively read Vampire/fantasy Romance. So, there is a difference. There have been a few books outside of that category I tackle but its normally related to my college work. I do think those horror/goth themes seep into my writing.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I do not think my writing has been compared to any other writing, at least not to me directly. I do really love the world building Charlaine Harris created. It is so lovely and to be able to write such an addicting 13 book series is something I hope to achieve as well.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I'm lazy so here's a picture:

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

It used to be absorbing other content by other artists but lately I couldn't tell you. I've been considering quitting writing for some time because I just don't enjoy it as much as I was.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Yes, angry violent woman. No it does not surprise me. There have been some themes of sexual assault and abandonment. Also doesn't surprise me.

What is your reason for writing?

Community. When I started writing in 2007/08 it was with a friend and the comradery filled a need I didn't have. I started again last year and found some community. It was great for the time being. Now I am not sure. I know most people say you should write for yourself but being a depressed person since the age of 9 it hard to center yourself like that. Another reason I am thinking about just quitting for some time at least till I find that spark again or reason.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

When the parts I had the most fun writing get complimented. I also appreciate the comments that pull favorite quotes. They are really wholesome and make me feel like my writing is appreciated.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I am okay with being the writer of the story that lives rent free in the back of your mind because it had such a mind-blowing event. Or maybe just a story that is thought of fondly occasionally.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Perhaps character psychology?

How do you feel about your own writing?

Right now, I am not my biggest fan but that's okay. I really wish I had a more poetic approach to writing or at least better with descriptions. I worry sometimes my writing is all events and no emotion.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Though my reason for writing is community at the end of the day when I can write I try to focus on stories I will enjoy or need to get off my chest. There have been a few fics in the past I wrote solely for mutuals, and I do not mind doing that because it brings me a lot of joy to create for others.

(I know some of the answers may have sounded a little sad. I want to clarify I am not looking for sympathy this is just truly how I feel at the time being and that is okay. I am okay with it.)

Tagging with no obligation:

@bearlytolerant @interplanet--janet @staticpallour @lisa-and-shadow @therealgchu

@soloavengers @arisenreborn @dryad-of-the-dogwood @eridanidreams @kimberbohwrites

[fiestylittlebeetle]

I have musings about how Malware's recovery goes in GC but it's got allot of complex feelings and concepts involved, and although i think the sheer dumbassery of canon would allow it on some level, I know some people might look at this and be like "bro you're literally stupid"

like everything I'm writing for this comes with a asterix that leads to a foot note that says "malware is not forgiven"

more under the cut for your judgement

god how to put this

Ben does not forgive malware for hurting him, or doing anything he did. In fact he doesn't really like malware at all. but as an adult and fighting him in a weakened form. fighting him him felt unfulfilling and kind of pathetic.

he kinda felt like he just beat up someone who could barely defend himself because they dont like eachother. it kinda made him feel like a jerk even if he hates malware

like in AF he straight up took satisfaction in Vilgax needing to ask him for help and even got him a petty little kids meal. so ben is not above helping his enemy even if he acts petty about it

I dont think ben really hates anyone that deeply that he would look at them suffering and go "you should suffer more" thats just not who he is

GC Malware's comeback is messy, and he's not really completely the same malware that Ben took down by force before because he's weak and exhausted and angry but the anger he has is like, trying to use a pilot light to boil a pot of water

After their initial fight Ben does toss Malware in the plumbers holding cells for a while. and Malware does maybe consider trying to escape, but read above as to why he doesn't bother. he just lays in their and hopes either something happens allowing him to get out, or he passes out and doesn't have to think about it.

Ben comes back for him after the last post i made about him meeting Malware 23, and considers "What if I help him this time. Azmuth isn't going to do it, and I couldn't do anything when I was 10 or 17. But maybe I could do something for him now" and he's had a good long think about it. what could Help Malware.

and ya'll are gonna treat me like im insane here but, hear me out

he hasn't told his mom about the Feedback incident, or really brought up Malware at all, so she doesn't know shit. and what Malware lacks is people who care about him, but especially familial people who care about him.

so he's plan is to see if his parents will let him let malware crash their. the stipulation for malware being if he does ANYTHING to his parents, ANYTHING sinister, Ben will rain hell down upon him like he's never known before.

Malware considers this and maybe even asks why ben is doing this

bens response can be summarized "cause im a better person then you, and even after it all, even after you HURT ME, I'm going to help you, and you're going to feel better, and you're going to feel guilty about it even when life gets better, and that seems like a reasonable punishment"

Malware doesn't really have much of choice here btw. He is being forced into this situation weather or not he likes it. and you may go "well you cant FORCE someone to recover" and you're right

but malware isn't gonna put up much of a fight cause he knows his limits (right now)

Sandra is open to the idea of letting malware stay in their guest room for a while, Carl is dubious but agrees cause he sees his son doing something kind. Malware is disgruntled, awkward, and uncomfortable (also Ben lies through his teeth about malware being a "friend" to his parents. like actually through actual clenched teeth)

for a while Malware stays holed up in the room, mostly sleeping or considering his deflated anger.

Sandra tries (and succeeds at some point) to get him to come out and be social. Her and Carl maybe even learn a little about him too, mostly just a vague idea of him being abandoned, and not liking other people very much.

i havn't gotten much further into the details, but I think Sandra would at least be the one who, after interacting with Malware a couple times, realizes he's very depressing. And it makes her sad that he seems so allergic to connecting with people. to her, as a mother, he comes off as a kid who hasn't been shown enough love and attention, and she is actually kinda correct.

details aside i had this idea of Sandra and Carl coming back to the house after being out for a day and finding Malware collapsed (a spontaneous system shut down)

and they roll him over so he's flat on his back, and Sandra has his head in her lap petting him while Carl is on the phone with the plumbers trying to see what kind of help he should get (they're being difficult and Carl already dislikes them so hes having a bad time TM)

anyway Mal eventually starts coming to and upon opening his optic and seeing sandra, and she's like "Oh you're awake!" and realizing what's happening he immediately sits up, almost knocking sandra back, telling her not to touch him, and feeling humiliated.

He's humiliated, but he's also feeling something, anger? no something else, satisfaction? no no something ELSE

ah yes

appreciation

And before someone asks "couldn't he just run away when no one's there" the answer is yes BUT he has no where else to go and he's not really in any condition to be defending himself against other people/aliens who will most likely have powers or weapons to use against him. Sticking around is the best bet rn

Now, you could bring up Khyber here but at this point Khyber had already been tried (basically Khyber was the first person malware found when he woke up. But remember that fight with Mal and Ben I mentioned? Khyber was also there but realized Mal kinda sucks and is useless now and so ditches him to save his own ass. Don't worry. Khyber will be back later when he's got more resources. But it's cause he knows malware is weak, and also one of a kind rare Mechamorph that's perfect for his trophie shelf.)

[kingsillysmilez]

Is there any particular artist, show, game, or movie that inspired ur art style? It’s so pretty ^^

I have so many!!! I definitely can't name every single one but heres a few that have been extremely influential to me!! This took me 2 hours to write i am SO sorry lmao

Puyo Puyo (Specifially Fever, Quest, and Tetris)

CUTESY BRIGHT BRIGHT COLORS!!!!!! Thats everything I love!!!!!! I'm pretty sure I talked about this when I first got into puyo puyo but I for SURE instantly decided that yep Im steering my style in this direction sorryyyyyy!!! I just think its so fun and silly and cute and rahhh it makes me so happy.

Especially for the work I do most often, which is character portraits without backgrounds, I will often look at puyo puyo posing just to get ideas!! (I've drawn Arle's dumbfounded pose 100000000 times becus I love it so much). The puyo puyo anatomy has very noodly arms and legs but with big ass shoes and accessories which is probably my favorite design thing in the world....

I seriously recommend just looking through the Puyo Puyo Nexus wiki for pose ideas (if you want something cute/silly of course) because every single one is just perfect. I am trying to get out of some dumb art habits of my own right now, but hopefully in the future you'll be able to see more goofy poses with sillier effects :3

Muse Dash Again I want you to look at the COLORS. Its so bright and this time you can really tell where I took my shading style from. I dont want my shadows to be dark I want them to be PINK or PURPLE. thank you. For my own art, I really try to make it so the darkest "black" is actually a deep purple or blue, and as I keep making art that dark color keeps getting just a bit lighter haha...

This is also the reason I color my lineart the way I do. I just really want to add as many colors as possible into the image. And if the image looks a bit more pink after that then thats just an extra perk!!

I also need to bring up the animation because they're just so bouncy and alive!!! This is like an instant stunlock for me, I have to look at them, theyre so BOUNCYYY!!!!!! I don't do much animation but every other week I get the sudden urge to try tweening again just to eventually get to the point I can make something similar to these for my own ocs lol

Great Pretender This show has some of the most gorgeous art ive ever seen. All the backgrounds are so bright and colorful. I dont usually draw art with backgrounds anymore sadly, but when I used to I really tried to study these for them. And I hope in the future I can make more art and show how far I've come.

Though I;ve changed to a more chibi style in recent times (thanks puyo puyo), this was still one of the first times I had ever watched a show and said "Oh my god I love this artstyle I need to get better at art" and Its always in my mind for that reason.

Ive definitely stolen lots of elements from the style. Though they've gotten more subtle over the years. I dont really know how to describe it any further but I hope you understand what I mean by looking at these screenshots,,,

[honey-dandelion]

Hello everyone !! My name is AD, 19 and my pronouns are she/her!! I am a multi muse, filipino roleplayer/writer!!

I am quite new to the rp community in tumblr so please understand that I'm inexperienced. This blog is mostly to find more reigen rp partners who can giggle and ramble with me about Ron Weasley!

Currently, i am into Harry Potter!! I’d like to preface and say I do NOT support anything JK Rowling has said (as I am bi myself) and any transphobic statements she’s made is something I will never agree with.

My current hyperfixation character as of the moment is actually Ron Weasley! He’s my favorite character by far and I can go on and on about rambling towards him :3 though he doesn’t have to be my main actually! Im looking for any Ron role players :D as long as I get to write ships or just in general, sweet stories about him.

I have a few set of rules i would also like to make as a seperate post but as of right now, i will be writing them here so please take the time to read them in case you ever want to write or just simply chat with me about anything!!

* Main muses are Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Theodore Nott and Draco Malfoy! I can also do the Weasley family and can even do Ron as well if preferred!

* usually write on discord and prefer to have a server for all the rps. I draw, write and speed out ideas a LOT btw so please be warned. I'm a rambler and I really love Ron a lot and want to interact with people who love it or just generally love Ron as much as I do!

* I am a big romance shipper but I also love writing platonic relationships between characters! Like family found dynamics and such. I am also a rare shipper kind of gal- like shipping Draco and Ron sometimes LOL

* I write mostly romance for aged up/adult characters

* I can word vomit and write long replies a lot- it's how I usually write so please don't feel pressured to write the same length as me!!

* Via discord rp; PLEASE tell me if I write something that ever makes you uncomfortable- I can edit it out and such, I don't mind as long as everyone feels safe.

* I'm really biased with Ron. I can be ooc with him a bit so please do not attack me if you have any problems with my mischaracterization of him. I am only here to have fun and write, to indulge myself with people. I don’t mind ooc

* I have school and responsibilities from my parents so if I don't answer, I'm probs asleep, working or @ college

* Lasty; Dont be shy with interacting with me! I am always happy to make mutuals and friends around here! I would love to answer any questions- either in character or just questions you would want to know about me!! So please dont be shy :D

• FOR NSFW STUFF; PLEASE STOP HERE WHEN YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE TOPIC. THANK YOU AGAIN.

• I usually just write doms/tops and I can get pretty hardcore with smut writing — please tell me if there is any kinks or stuff in smut you don't want to read! I also like dark topics but absolutely no adult/kid. That shit is not allowed in my rp blog. I'm very into some dark content and such but if that's not your cup of tea, please avoid the " DARK TOPIC // " tag.

• I only write nsfw of adult characters and ocs; cant do erp via me. I will only do them via discord as I am way too shy to write them publicly. PLEASE NOTE THOUGH that i will not just write on a whim. I will be able to make headcanons and such but i need to get to know you and feel comfortable enough to write it. I do write suggestive content here and there so my tags here will be " NSFW // " in case you ever want to avoid it.

[landscaping-your-mind]

Happy @tmaappreciationweek day 1! I drew something, but it’s kinda ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, so… fic recs! Jon-centric ones, because he’s my favourite major character to precisely no one’s surprise.

It’s in order of vaguely when they take place.

nature has taught her creatures to hate (words 183,928) by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup

Jon goes to the Magnus Institute to give a statement about Mr. Spider when he’s 8 years old, but is kidnapped and made to become a child avatar. It… really hurts. So much. 100% recommend. Good luck.

Merry-Go-Round (words 20,744) by Prim_the_Amazing

Jon becomes a stranger avatar, in like this horrifying way, and it’s like, it’s almost appealing, like MAG 152, but also you’re like oh god. Ohhhh god. Dont. Dont do that. And yeah, it’s really good.

you appear familiar, dear— you look just like my bathroom mirror (words 3,340) by takethebreadsticksandRUN

One of those one shots that take a theme and then run with it through canon (and in this case, pre-canon). It’s about identity issues related to your body, about gender dysphoria and the Issues that come with having your bodily autonomy repeatedly violated and also religion. Catholicism, to be specific. It’s really good, and the religious imagery is neat, and it’s so good. It’s really gender, it gets the gender feelings.

Jon focused, introspection. I love Jon focused introspection.

all your scars are looking more like scales (words 2,827) by ceaselesswatchers

Another one of those one shots. This time the theme is Jon being a dragon (in an Otherkin way). It’s really good.

but you just don’t feel the same (words 2,825) by ceaselesswatchers

Yet another one of those one shots. This one focuses on soulmates, how they’re actually body horror if you think about it, and how that would interact with being aro. Jon’s aromantic in this fic.

Also, I won’t spoil it, but it’s got a moment near the end that I love so much, and it’s just… this fic really tackles a lot of things in TMA and a lot of things with soulmate AUs and makes me Very Horrified.

terror management theory (words 36,587) by prismatical

ITS SO FUNNY AND ITS SO SAD

It’s half crack half oh my god. oh my fucking god. Where Jon was killed by Mr. Spider as a kid and now he keeps coming back to life. Prismatical writes really good… moments that stick in your brain.

There is a Wasp’s Nest in my Archives (words 7,525) by ineverwritebutwhatever

One of the first fics I bookmarked, like even before finishing season 2? Had no idea what the corruption was, but then, but then, I revisited it, and it’s… phenomenal? It really does a good job of tackling both the metaphorical and literal aspects of the corruption.

of broken tables and stained kitchen sinks (words 2,114) by ocaptain_mycaptain

Everyone’s favourite… Jongeorgie angst! Platonic. It’s set in season 3, Jon’s all like “I’ll keep all of my problems right here, and then one day, I’ll die” and Georgie’s like “hey, jon, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me anything. Please tell me something” and meanwhile they’re having issues that are symbolised through Georgie’s home and furniture being in need of repairs.

Not (words 1,767) by DaFlangstLairde

A really cool fic beginning in season 3 (but it’s one of Those one shots), focusing on what it means to be a person and even real. Can confirm, feels a lot like depersonalisation, lol. Anyway, it’s so cool, also it’s something I can use to say Stranger!Jon rights.

So, for realistic depictions of depersonalisation, Jon themed musings on humanity, and Stranger!Jon propaganda… this is the fic for you!

The Bird of Paradise (comic, 47 chapters) by lady_libertine

This was required reading for a different fic. It’s about Jon meeting Odin, Dionysus, and Lucifer during the Unknowing, and getting slightly magical therapy that helps him fix his problems. It’s actually pretty good. Very long, though. And not described (unless it is through alt text).

Cry For Me (words 4,827) by BusinessCasualAura

(who is apparently my mutual, i keep forgetting this)

Okay, so this series is like, so sad. It’s so bloody sad. It starts between s3 and s4 (getting off to a Sad Start), continues through s4 and s5, ends in like, the worst way (for the characters). It’s so bloody good, and the Upton House portion is like… top 2 Upton House fics.

can’t be helped (words 5,308) and rituals (words 8,492) by doomcountry

The first fic is set in season 4, but canon diverges, and both Martin and Jon fall fully to their patrons (i.e. Jon becomes a lot more evil and inhuman, Martin fulfils more of the diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder).

The second fic is set after the first fic, with Martin (less lonely) trying to see if there’s any Jon left in the Archivist. First fic focuses pretty equally on Jon and Martin, but in separate storylines, second fic is from the Archivist’s POV, but focuses on Jmart.

stopgap prophecy (words 16,686) by prismatical

It’s about humanity and monsterhood and “is it right to die bc living will hurt people” and change, and I love it. It’s so good. And Jon’s narration is wonderful, and the climax is just, it’s amazing to read, it plays out in my head all the time. Set in season 4, post-MAG 146.

the best policy (words 20,094) by BlueGirl22

Jon reads a truth telling Leitner during season 4, and then people have heart to hearts with him. It goes. It certainly goes.

For he will not do destruction, if he is well fed (words 15,127) by greevianguy

Jon projects on a cat for 15,127 words. No but, like, set in season 4, Jon sees a cat at the institute, and then he sees it again with Daisy, and he wonders if he can help, and he thinks about the cat Daisy had and how it was let go by someone who was supposed to help it and yes jon go on, no, im not taking notes.

It’s just, argjhhh it’s so painful. Might be my favourite tma fic. Go read it. Right now.

Out of My Head (words 15,641) by buildoblivionthenwewilltalk

This is a really good post-MAG 154 fic, and it’s got this cool original character, and it’s got this absolute BANGER of an ending that never gets elaborated on, it’s fine i’m fine and yeah. Favourite post-MAG 154, easily.

in the chillest land and on the strangest sea (words 19,632) by imperfectcircle and raven (singlecrow)

I’m pretty sure this is one of those fandom classics. Based on the amount of comments, it’s pretty well known, but I enjoyed it, so… it’s about Hope as an entity. It’s in the format of Daisy telling Jon a story while the latter is staying at the Scottish Safehouse. The story is from season 1 onward but the framing device is post-MAG 159 pre-MAG 160. It’s got great moments that live in my mind rent free.

john 19:41 (words 1,142) by tkkarno

Set immediately after MAG 160, Jon reflects on his humanity, the loss of it, and the relation of that to Jane Prentiss, and also biblical themes. The title is the bible quote: “Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden; and in the garden a new sepulchre, wherein was never man yet laid.”

Pretty much exclusively focuses on Jon. Stream of consciousness ramble, yknow.

In this harsh world (words 1,132) by CirrusGrey

This is my favourite of the 40 fics Citrus wrote while s5 was coming out. It’s a conversation after Upton House. It’s titled after a line from Hamlet. Frankly I don’t think I need to say any more.

where there’s a will, we make a way (words 305,816) by bubonickitten

Time travel fix it fic, time travel fix it fic! To be completely honest, I don’t really like time travel fix it fics, but this one is an exception. s5!Jon basically replaces season 4 Jon, and still has issues, and they focus on multiple characters, and there’s so much getting angry at Jonah Magnus — if I’m being honest, sometimes I just read this fic and go through the content warnings to see which chapters probably mention Jonah Magnus and read those, because the handling of Jonah Magnus is like, thank you. I love it.

Focuses on multiple characters, but Jon’s the main character. Also, diverges before MAG 187, and it was being written pre-finale. It’s still ongoing.

rewind. play. eject. (words 39,543) by boredshyandbi

Jon’s stuck in a timeloop of MAG 39, and it’s heartbreaking to see him every time try to fix things, try to save Sasha and Martin and Tim, and there are Lines. There are Lines. That stick out in my brain. Do you think I’m ever going to be okay about paperclips again? No! I’m not. It’s another exception to the time travel fix-it rule, but only because it’s got... a different plot. And it’s just that good.

Countdown to Extinction (words 131,464) by starspangledbread

Another exception! Tbf though, it’s another different one.

First fic isn’t quite monster4monster4monster jongerrymart, but it’s got the Vibes. Jon commits petty crimes and also major crimes like Multiple Kidnappings, uh and then the second fic is just. Wow okay that’s a tonal difference. Dealing with repercussions…

ANYWAY I wholeheartedly recommend both :D

[lilacliquors]

Hello :) I saw you are tking requests and I have something in mind for the prompt  [ TENSION ]  one muse is patching up the other’s injuries which leads to intense eye contact,  lingering touches and them finally crashing their lips against each other’s. maybe for Soldier boy But if you dont want to write it you dont need to so feel no pressure. have a nice day :)

patched

pairing: soldier boy x reader

prompt: [ TENSION ]  one muse is patching up the other’s injuries which leads to intense eye contact,  lingering touches and them finally crashing their lips against each other’s

word count: 767

contents: kissing, possible of blood, swearing, suggestive stuff, you know the drill

notes: this is just some classic stuff right here, we love kissing on this blog. and you have a lovely day yourself, nonnie!

it was a miracle he wasn't dead yet, with all the stupid shit he kept getting himself into. isn't wasn't every day payback had a serious threat to handle, they were mostly for show, but this time, he'd gone and gotten himself cut up. sure, the compound v in his system meant his injuries weren't as bad, but still, he was bleeding, and it was up to you to patch him up.

there he was, sitting on his couch in his cushy apartment, just waiting for you. he always refused to come down to medic, he thought he was above all of that. and you were the only one who didn't mind going to him. as long as you got the job done, and you got paid, that's what mattered.

he watched you as you set up your stuff, gauze pads and rubbing alcohol, pain killers and surgical thread for possible stitches, and his silence actually concerned you. normally, he was running his mouth, boasting or propositioning you, but you always ignored them.

"must've been pretty bad out there," you said finally as you gently dabbed at a slice in his arm with a gauze dampened with rubbing alcohol.

"wouldn't have been if those fuckheads kept their guard up," he muttered, eyes locked on the view from his window. you could see the horizon and beyond, and the sun was starting to set.

"bet it was the tnt twins," you said, only half joking.

"fucking a it was. fucking clowns can't get their shit together, and they need to touch their stupid little hands to even be worth something. if it were up to me, the pussies would be gone."

you simply nodded as you covered the gash with a non-sticking gauze that wouldn't rip a scab off. luckily, none of these cuts looked like they'd need stitches, which was a good sign.

"maybe you can say something to mister edgar. bad publicity is probably the last thing he wants right now," you said, reaching for another pad.

"not a bad idea. probably won't work, but then i can say i at least tried to rework this shitty fucking team."

again, you nodded. hero and team making policy wasn't your forte. but this was better than him ranting and raving like he normally would have done, along with the comments on your body. you looked him over once more and saw that the remaining cuts were littering his face, and inwardly, you groaned.

"uh, soldier boy?" you asked, and he turned his head slightly, an arched brow answering you. "you won't mind if i, uh..."

"darlin', you do whatever you need to do," he said, and there it was that signature smirk. at least he was sort of coming back to his old self.

with a soft sigh, you dampened another gauze pad and carefully eased onto the couch, settling your legs on either side of his so you were straddling him. it wasn't your ideal position, but it was the only way to reach everything.

you felt your face grow hot as you dabbed at the cuts. his eyes, those striking green eyes, were scanning your face, and as you went to disinfect the cut on his cheek, you found yourself gazing back into them. you'd never seen such beautiful eyes before, and it was like they were piercing your soul. gently, you brought a hand up to cup his face and turn his head, and to your surprise, he let you. and yet, his eyes were still locked on yours.

even after you finished and could move your hand, you didn't want to. even as he turned his head back to its original position, you didn't dare move. there was something unspoken, the tenderness with which you held him, it was foreign. and he couldn't help himself.

it was like you shared one single thought at that moment, and you were both quick to press your lips together in a searing kiss. his hands gripped your waist while yours cupped his face, and he couldn't let you go. one of his hands traveled up to lay flat on your back, pushing you against his chest, and you hummed, letting your thumbs caress his cheeks.

it was a kiss unlike any other. it didn't feel like he wanted anything more from you, just closeness. there was no rush for him to pull your top off you rip the pants form your legs, he just wanted to hold you. you, the only person who'd ever been gentle with him. and he didn't want to let you go.