#{ feeling better about everything though }

[egophiliac]

like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?

(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)

[secriden]

Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:

Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.

(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)

The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.

But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are somehow infinitely gentle still; Style's kisses contain a purpose that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.

There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.

There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.

In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.

And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.

The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.

[bluerosefox]

Hmmmm... This one and this one I guess -digs through old AU/Prompts ideas and starts tossing them into a melting pot to make something new-

Royal errors, maybe Ghost King (Or just very powerful and respected by the Infinite Realms) Danny, AND deaged Dan and Ellie. With half-sibling Damian.

Talia is a woman with many, many secrets, this is a cold hard fact.

She has so many secrets its no wonder not a single living soul knows them all...

So when seventeen, almost eighteen, Damian really shouldn't had been surprised (he was though) when out of the blue he gets a call from an unknown number that somehow bypasses his firewalls against unknown numbers about his apparent five year old half-sister and brother Helen 'Ellie' Fenton and Dante 'Dan' Fenton.

That their father, Daniel Fenton was taken (by a shady should had been disbanded government agency) and they couldn't get a hold of their mother Talia at all (she was in a middle of stopping a coup happening, a rival assassin group, AND some idiots trying to revive Ra's at the same time, thus radio silent). About how Ellie and Dan were in danger of being taken as well but they needed to put in them a safe place so they could go rescue Danny before word gets out to... well lets just say some very POWERFUL beings weren't going to be happy and they are working on very limited time to get him back.

Jasmine Fenton tells him she knows he had no clue about his mother being with her brother and having kids with him, its something she and Talia often got into small arguments about but try not to bring it up to often around Danny, Dan, or Ellie, and that his relationship with her is often... rocky but she begs him to please watch over them while she, and her brother's best friends go a rescue mission for him.

That they were two very scared five year olds that had to watch their father be taken away after he barely managed to get them to safety and that Damian was the only one she could think of being able to watch over and least protect them at this serious moment.

Damian, and the rest of the family, are stunned silent when Jasmine finishes explaining, her voice on the verge of breaking and no doubt she was trying so hard not to sob.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[jackass-jones]

Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing

And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had

Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter

And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"

[gingermintpepper]

One of my biggest pet peeves is the assumption that something has to be sad for it to be tragic.

I've always been a big believer of the 'Apollo has an awful love life'/'Apollo is plain unlucky with love' line of thinking but it does bother me that the general reasoning for that statement is given to the concept of 'Apollo is somehow undesireable and thus rejected' (Cassandra/Daphne/Marpessa) or 'his lovers die young and thus their love is unfulfilled' (Cyparissus/Hyacinthus/Coronis). I personally think that's a very unfortunate way of looking at things - not only because it neglects the many perfectly cordial entanglements and affairs Apollo has had, both mortal and divine - but because it presents a very shallow interpretation of the concepts of love and loss and how loss affects people.

Apollo can still grieve lovers that have a long, healthy life. The inherent tragedy of an immortal who knows his lovers and children will die and cannot stop it does not stop being tragic simply because those lovers and children live long, fulfilled lives. The inherent tragedy of loss does not stop being tragic simply because someone knows better than to mourn something that was always going to end.

What is tragic is not that Apollo loves and loses but that loss itself follows him. Apollo does not love with the distance of an immortal, he does not have affairs and then leaves never to listen to their prayers again. He does not have offspring and then abandon them to their trials only to appear when it is time to lead them to their destinies. He raises his young, he protects the mothers of his children, he blesses the households that have his favour and multiplies their flocks that they may never go hungry. He educates his sons, he adorns his daughters and even in wrath he is quick to come to his senses and regret the punishments he doles out.

Apollo loves. And like mortals, there will always be some part of him that wishes to protect the objects of his affections. Apollo, however, is also an emissary of Fate. He knows that the fate of all mortal things is death. He knows that to love a mortal is to accept that eventually he will have to bury them. There is no illusion of forever, there is no fantasy where he fights against the nature of living things and shields his beloveds from death. Apollo loves and because of that love, he also accepts.

And that, while beautiful, is also tragic.

[pinkfey]

remember how in dao there were always like multiple flirty options u could just spring on ur love interest and it wasn't something that was brushed past it would stop a conversation dead in its tracks to have a cute secondary flirty offshoot with small variations dependent on the flirty option u initially chose with a unique course correction to get back on topic after...... yeah.

[art-from-the-juice-box]

gen loss dump part 2 :]

i have a gen loss playlist so the last two was me hitting randomize and drawing a pic based on the song before it finished. the second one technically isn’t that cause charlie’s inferno isn’t on apple music cause they hate me so it’s way more of the song out of spite because they wouldn’t give it to me.

[burning-sol]

You know what? I realise why the Sinsmas episode is pissing me off so much, it's because it's juggling so many different ideas that it doesn't spend enough time committed to a single one. Let me just break it down the way I see it...

The first idea we're introduced to is one about Stolas' depression but then when he sits down with Blitz we're introduced to the idea of Stolas' poverty.

The previous ideas are what you think that the episode might focus on until you get hit with the Octavia B-Plot. Okay! A-Plot is about depression and poverty, B-Plot is about Stolas not being able to contact Octavia... (I might be using those terms incorrectly, but you get the idea,)

But THEN you get Sinsmas introduced which is about the idea of indulging in your sins, which is shown to be important to the audience because it's expressed in dialogue, right? Wait, no, it's about Stolas's depression/poverty, okay then....

But THEN you cut to the office and we get a Millie and Moxxie bonding scene, so you think, "wait, is there going to be another DIFFERENT plotline introduced into this episode about their relationship??" AND YOU GET MORE ABOUT SINSMAS, multiple shots about the holiday and the idea of indulging in your sins!! So wait, the idea of Sinsmas IS an individual idea from the depression/poverty point? Or isn't it??

Stolas sobs on the phone, there's a very obvious depression/poverty breakdown, but then we get MORE NEW SHIT introduced because it's about Stolas' cheating. And I understand that that's meant to tie into Octavia's B-plot, but there's a subtle difference between that and THIS that adds another layer of shit on top (elaborated on later).

Which, BTW, I just wanna point out how this idea is contradictory to the Sinsmas idea since CHEATING is about INDULGING in LUST - as is established in your PREVIOUS. IMPORTANT. SEASON ONE FINALE... So WHY would you make a character shame a sin that's meant to be in the process of being celebrated which confuses the Sinsmas idea and was also the CORE of the Stolitz will-they-won't-they before now?? If it was to trigger Stolas' breakdown you already HAD the poverty story beat, this is just needless and confusing redundancy??

So then we actually get to Octavia and we get a scene about the idea of Stolas and Octavia not being able to get in contact with each other - the B-Plot - and followed by her introspective song and the discovery of Stolas' pills. And now we suddenly feel like we're back to where we were MEANT to be, with the Octavia B-Plot taking a pause to cut back to the Depression A-Plot. This builds up tension as we naturally feel the two characters drawn together.

And theeeen it cuts to the I.M.Ps and I'm banging my head against the wall because you're like, "Oh! The Millie and Moxxie relationship idea! This is going to be about them!"

But then OH MY GOD a NEW idea is introduced about Blitz wanting a FAMILY WITH STOLAS. I want to shoot someone because the cheating was a set up for Blitz to fantasise about wanting a family??? Is this meant to be a parallel to episode 1??? Am I meant to feel like Blitz has developed as a character?? In an episode that has been about every character OTHER than Blitz???

And then it's meant to be likeee like about Millie's pregnancy because she wants to kill the family instead of leaving them be, but it's also about Moxxie's relationship with her, but it's ALSO about being "demon enough" (WHATEVER THAT IS, IT'S NEVER ELABORATED ON), but it's also ALSO about Sinsmas.

Okay! Okay, back to the REAL plot except- Wait, Octavia walked in??? Wait, so this plot is now about Blitz wanting a family and he's going to bond with Octavia?? No! NO because they don't have any emotional connection and so there is no reason for this scene to exist if either way Blitz was going to know where Stolas went and Octavia was going to end up there as well anyways.

And can you tell I'm tired of writing at this point? Cus I'm losing my mind. FINALLY the A-plot and B-plot that should have been the center of the episode all along gets a fuck ton of screentime and it's beautiful and it's the peak of the episode.

And theeen it's back to Millie and you think, "Okay, so a big part of the pregnancy plot is clearly meant to be about Millie and Moxxie's relationship based on all the scenes we've gotten between them! That means that Millie and Moxxie are going to have some sort of important dialogue-" And then she WALKS OUT on him and she has her emotional moment with her sister! Which isn't a bad thing but need I remind you she isn't even in the center a FULL LENGTH episode, she's from a SHORT... WHY would you NOT integrate Sallie into a proper episode if she's going to be key to a future INCREDIBLY important plotline??

The episode ends with Blitz and Stolas and the credits roll blah blah blah...

This post is basically expands on some of the points of my post about my first impressions, because I just wanted to give a run down of the structure properly so you can understand why this episode is making me feel like I'm losing it. And I get it, if you put in the effort you can get an idea of how all the ideas were meant to tie together... But it doesn't! It's badly written! It makes me want to rip my hair out!

Ideas are established and then sit there uncomfortably without resolutions to them! Like even the shit. That was meant to be the main shit. The poverty and depression stuff? NO conclusion. Stolas says, "you don't have to refer to me as your highness" I guess?? But like, nothing to show him settling in with everyone else in the celebration to show he's like. Poor? And okay with it? By partaking in the holiday of those that are meant to be "beneath" him? No mention of his medication???

Just!! Okay. To understand the way shit in the writing could have been better, let me list some ways you could change the episode to be more coherent or cut down on redundancy if my points have so far not landed.

Establish Sallie towards the BEGINNING of the episode and her dynamic with Millie, and show how that compares to her relationship with Moxxie, and show WHY she would call Sally instead of talking with Moxxie first. If you're going to make the episode about family btw, this would be the point where Millie could bring up HER family and how much she values them or something in order to establish that as being important. Also, use this to explore what Millie and Moxxie's feelings on having a baby WOULD be, so that if there's conflict there then you have more understanding of why Millie made the decision she did.

Use the actual environment in the background of the montage to show the passage of time instead of it suddenly being Sinsmas. Have demons setting up holiday decorations, in the stores put up discount signs about a "Sinsmas sale!" This makes the story flow more naturally, as well as adds characterisation and makes Stolas' depression more real as he's shown to be so absorbed in his own world he doesn't even realise it's the holiday until Blitz brings it up.

Octavia's phone and the device she listens to music on is the same (I checked S1E2 to confirm it), which causes a sloppy writing issue. Like. If the episode is meant to show Stella is controlling and it's not Octavia's choice not to get in contact with Stolas, then you need to explain why she hasn't called him despite having access to her phone when Stella isn't around. If it were me, I would have had Stella lock it in a drawer that Octavia picks the lock on so she can listen to her music. THEN you can keep the original scene, OR (this is what I would have done) have her check her phone logs so you can see not only how many times Stolas has called but how much time has passed. Maybe this could also be used as another reason to drive her towards the closet as she hides from Stella and Andrealphus. Maybe this could be used as an interesting metaphor about her desire to leave but she doesn't know what she's going to do once she picks the lock on the door... Like how she could call her Dad now that she has her phone but she doesn't know what she'll do when she does... Something like that.

DON'T have Blitz and Via meet up if they're not going to interact. That entire scene is fucking pointless as is and I hate it. Either dedicate a PROPER amount of time and dialogue into making Blitz want to and try to connect with Via, or have them not talk at all. Cut out the whole thing about Blitz wanting a family with Stolas honestly, it's just not well explored enough.

Again with the sloppy writing, the gang did NOT need to stumble into a room of weapons to have weapons. That's pointless. They're assassins, they've been established to bring a stash of weapons with them to fights before. I can think of something much funnier where Moxxie is surprised by Loona's transformation and there's a joke made about her being a noble steed and Moxxie pulls out a sword only for Millie to be like, "Why did you bring that?" And Moxxie says something about how it's a posh weapon cus that's his thing. OR you could have some badass impromptu weapons the gang makes from the ice or they use Sinsmas decorations scattered around. IDK.

Already made my point about Stolas and the poverty idea. Show him settling in with the others during the celebration and him opening up to the idea that he's no longer rich or well respected. The "you don't have to refer to me as your highness" would work if the text bothered to show his mental state properly, instead of him just looking depressed and like he kind of hates everyone there.

Have Blitz PLEASE react to Stolas' depression. Like. Acknowledge it. And share his feelings about it. AND GIVE STOLAS HIS MEDICATION FFS he clearly has clinical depression!! Blitz is sooo head empty in this episode, PLEASE give him more internal thoughts other than :) I'm holding my head in my hands.

And I'm so tired of writing at this point I'm going to stop it there but I hope that was thorough enough to get across my points. And if not then I guess that speaks to how loopy this episode made me that I can't even articulate myself 100% because dear god.

[stopper-my-heart]

Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).

Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?

This is fine

[nicorobinphd]

stg, being an enjoyer of jane twdg is like being forced into an expert-level course on the way misogyny manifests in video game spaces.

god forbid a woman be complex or difficult or provably mischaracterized (see tags) at the end of her arc to service the culmination of a man’s storyline.

[peridot-tears]

During the main quests, this appears p often. It literally means "Jin's Journey":

But the kanji for "Jin" -- 仁 -- also means "benevolence," emphasizing a respect for humanity. So 仁之道, while it means "Jin's Journey," can also be read as "the path/way of benevolence."

He isn't following the bushido, or 武士道，the way of the warrior/samurai, but rather 仁之道, the way of benevolence, a path that diverts sharply from the "honor" that samurai follow.

[tleeaves]

There are two wolves inside me. One wants to embrace a new hobby in dance so I can be active and feel elegant and graceful and strong. This wolf wants to try something new and exciting, finally indulging in something I've always had an interest in.

The other experiences such frustrating emotions on a near daily basis that I want to go back to boxing, which is arguably easier to break into since I've already done it before. This wolf doesn't think of elegance, she just wants to fuck shit up until her body's so overworked and warm it fogs up car windows without having to do anything but sit inside.

Which one do I fucking feed??

[pseudophan]

got nothing done today except accidentally deleting all my files off the computer and having to recover them so basically i need to be frankly insanely productive tomorrow so i can go to my granddad's birthday on friday without stressing. of course there is no chance in hell this will happen but i can pretend for a little while longer

[moe-broey]

Quick and rough Plumeria redesign, mostly just cause...... I gotta do what comes naturally to me, man. Give me some Shapes. Simplify that design or so help me.

I don't have a lot of complex thoughts about it, actually! Just the idea of having a "sexy" outfit that draws the eyes to certain parts of the body -- while simultaneously being modest and Sharp. Having an edge to it. Also!!!! The luna moth inspired wings!!! I wanted to stay within her og color palette, but I've also always thought luna moth wings would suit her... the top wing is vaguely heart shaped, too!

[gayofthefae]

Queer ships are universally different and not comparable to straight ships in ship wars because without the ship/feelings/reciprocation all characters involved would still be queer because their queerness exists and is represented in them independently from specific romantic feelings and that queerness would still deeply affect their characters' relationships to themselves.

Queer ships are not the same as straight ships because queer ships are inherently indicative of something deeper in the individual that is affects their character arc to the core and straight ships are love stories.

Basically, the queer experience and the straight experience are not the same. I feel like people should know this, and I feel like people do, so I assume they just don't realize that that's what the conversation is. But I'm not fighting for the ship. I'm fighting for the characters to be queer. Your characters were already straight. You get what I'm begging for regardless. You think we'd have equal things - love stories - taken away but you're wrong.

If two people don't get together I don't have a love story to live vicariously through anymore. If two people aren't queer I'm not in the story anymore.

Hope this helps.