#{ connection: reginald }

[idanit]

assorted Jeeves and Wooster sketches of various quality from the past six months, part 1

[one-odd-ood]

BEHOLD! The 90’s TV Dad Molecule

Seven actors all connected together in three movies or less, without using John Ratzenberger (who connects three of them via Pixar).

I also discovered afterward that John Goodman, Jon Lithgow, and Joan Cusack (who was also in Toy Story 4) were all in Confessions of a Shopaholic together, but I didn’t know that at the time, so it doesn’t count. I did it without it.

[my-mistake-lets-do-this-again]

fact: the only times jeeves mentions himself being engaged is when bertie expresses interest in marrying someone as well

conclusion: he’s jealous and trying to make bertie jealous

[thewingedwolf]

luther: the golden child

diego: the mastermind

allison: the peace keeper

klaus: the clown / mascot

five: the rebel / truth teller

ben: the lost child

viktor: the scapegoat

is this something i think this is something

[feeownaa-arts]

Day 1 of THSC Whiteboard doodles!!!

[sourkitsch]

Holy Family, 1964 — Reginald Adolphus Gammon

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Reginald Payne × Alfred Pennyworth VS. Jeremiah Valeska × Bruce Wayne: A Saga.

Hello and good evening, in tonight's episode of "Gotham TV is an insane show for insane people" we're talking about Regional Pain. I mean, Reginald Payne. He is Alfred Pennyworth's "best friend", which in the context of the show's wordplays can fall anywhere on the spectrum of "actual dear friend" to "starcrossed lover", but perhaps most importantly he is a Jeremiah Valeska mirror used to establish a dynamic with Alfred that portrays exactly where does Bruce Wayne get his uhh, interesting habits in regards to his "best friends". you see;

Reggie is introduced as a raging alcoholic and mean druggie, and through him Alfred is revealed as a post-raging alcoholic with drug problems who's barely hanging on and trying not to relapse, kept afloat almost strictly by his immense love for Bruce.

In season 4, Jeremiah Valeska is introduced as a raging alcoholic and most likely a druggie, and Bruce has only slightly started to recover from his fun alcoholism, barely keeping his head above water with an iron grip on his love for Alfred.

When Reggie shows up at the Wayne Manor's door, he lies to Alfred, he is there to ruin his and bruce's lives, uses Alfred for his soft heart, capitalises on their friendship for sympathy and offers a false story, "lost a loved one and i went insane, couldn't do it".

Post-InsanityGas Jeremiah lies to Bruce, he is there to ruin his life, uses Bruce for his soft heart and capitalises on their friendship, keeping face with a false story, "lost the other half of me and i'm not dealing with it well, i can't do this," and Bruce holds his hand through it.

Reggie provokes Bruce so thoroughly, he is willing to go through with their make-believe combat practice too, "You hit me, you draw all the blood you can, i'm giving you a pass and you'll take it, violence is true and real, it's effective." Only Alfred puts a stop to it.

in the "Ace Chemicals" episode, Jeremiah provokes Bruce to hit him, to draw blood, he wants everything Bruce has in him. The only thing keeping Bruce from packing his punches is the knowledge that he has someone to come back to; he has Alfred, and he has Selina.

Reginald and Alfred get drunk together and Reginald tells Bruce about the night the SAS team cought a snake and put the goddamn thing in Alfred's bag. He tells Bruce about how Alfred cooked and made them all eat the snake.

Jeremiah's mother was a snake dancer, he grew up around snakes, he intimately knows how to handle one. He's viper colored and he's basically a snake sleeping in Bruce's bag throughtout season 4.

Reggie is a harsh truth caller, "Why dont you tell Bruce the truth, why are you afraid of him knowing the real you?" Reggie tells Alfred two wine bottles in. "You're a dog Alfred, a vicious well trained dog is what you are."

Jeremiah Valeska sees right through Bruce and becomes his truth caller, "You're so mean Bruce, there's darkness in you, so dark, we're so alike," he tells him.

Alfred tells Reggie that he's "willing to be better than he actually is because he has loved ones to care for, he will not give in to his own violence,"

Bruce tells Jeremiah that he "wants to be better than he actually is because he has loved ones to care for, he will not give in to his own darkness."

Reggie almost kills Alfred, someone very dear to Bruce, and then stays in town, knowing full well Alfred would know where to find him and have his revenge if he survived.

Jeremiah shoots Selina, someone very dear to Bruce, and then allows himself to get cought very easily, staying near and in reachable distance.

5 years later and Jeremiah leaves Bruce half insane and completely shattered, clawing into Alfred's arms in an abandoned warehouse outside Gotham, and noone has ever loved Bruce as much as Jeremiah loves him.

Reggie tears up after Bruce finally corners him, "I didn't mean any harm. Is he okay? He is okay, isn't he?" he trembles as he asks Bruce. Bruce's voice is venom as he reminds him, "You stabbed him; why do you care?" to which Reggie answers, screaming "I care! I damn care!!" because people love each other even in the ways they hurt each other.

Bruce is the one who hunts down both Reginald and Jeremiah for a chance at explanations; Selina is the one who kills Reggie.

Selina is also the one who kills Jeremiah.

And still, throughout all this Alfred is so posessive of Reggie— he actively dissuades detective Gordon from finding out about Reggie and shoos Gordon away. When Bruce asks him why he wont tell the truth about who stabbed him, Alfred says "Believe it or not, Reggie is a mate, and you do not set coppers on your mate now, do you?"

"But he almost killed you."

"we were a team together, he's my friend, if anyone can figure him out it's going to be me, noone else can do it; it wouldn't be right."

Alfred is immediately so protective of his connection to Reggie, "noone else can catch him, i know him, only i can do it right, we know each other like the backs of our hands," he intimately personalises his connection to him.

Jeremiah Valeska hurts Bruce more than perhaps anyone had ever hurt him, but when he calls to him, Bruce determinedly goes alone; Jeremiah is his fight and his only, he's the only person who knows him, the only person who can leash him in, noone else; it wouldn't be right.

Every bit of possessiveness Bruce has Over Jeremiah is a blueprint copy of how Alfred frames his friendships and his love for the people closest to him; ALFRED is where Bruce learnt the ways and whys of human connection and friendship. Really, in the Wayne Manor everyone is just 55 strings of generational patterns in a trenchcoat.

[2kyears]

the toussants ft. maurice toussant (2000, physically 19), celeste toussant (1000, physically 42), daisy (18 at death), reginald baskin (32), anya calwyn-toussant (@monsterxmade) (14).

[dovand]

P.G. Wodehouse characters on panel shows

Because I had A Thought in the jerver (Jeeves x Wooster server) and had to expand it to Many Thoughts, owing to my normalness about both Wodehouse and britcom :)

Long & incredibly niche post (x"D) under the cut!

Preface: Characters covered vary and I may not be entirely accurate as I have not consumed as much Wodehouse as I'd like. Polite discussion entirely welcome (and, in fact, desired)!

QI

Jeeves would do well fact-wise but, owing to the fact that he does not watch the show and thus does not understand the format, would, on attempting to make a joke, be klaxoned to hell and back (possibly via goading by Alan). Unless he very carefully managed to dodge the goading he would not win and would be very bitter about it

The Elves would absolutely adore him btw. There'd be a behind the scenes photo of him looking puzzled/slightly scared while the Elves who are there on filming days all pose around him and grin at the camera

Would never forget to use his buzzer (regardless of how embarrassing it is) because he feels bad about interrupting. Would be very much unnerved by Stephen (obviously) and perhaps a little intimidated by how flamboyant he is. Aisling Bea would like him I think

Wooster would have no idea what was going on but would be endearing enough to make up for it entirely. Sort of like Johnny Vegas. He would have to be stopped forcibly from going on long rambling anecdotes a la Gyles Brandreth. If the host is Stephen he will not be paying any attention to anything being said the entire evening. Might win entirely by accident because he's saying nothing remotely relevant & thus is never klaxoned. (Though tbh he might have a heart attack before even starting the show on account of seeing a man who appears pretty much to be Jeeves wearing colour!)

Would get along well with Bill Bailey I think—agents of chaos the both of them. Alan would make fun of Wooster for being posh (a la the way the panel usually makes fun of Stephen). Would do very well on live demos. Stephry would adore him & he would not know what to do with it ("why is campier Jeeves so enamoured of me?"). Sandi would LOVE him. Might bring a blue whale plushie along for emotional support

Ukridge (and here my Wodehouse knowledge starts to thin) would very confidently be very incorrect but would be so charismatic about it that the Elves would forget to klaxon him until he was done speaking. Almost Rhod Gilbert-y levels of accidentally-on-purpose annoying (see: Rhod claiming that it gets totally dark at night in Denmark for like 5 minutes). Gyles Brandreth-levels of ability to talk at length. He starts spontaneously filibustering in the middle of the episode

8oo10cdc

(A.K.A. 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown, but the full acronym is so much more fun)

Jeeves wins. Obviously. He would be guest team captain I think, and he would absolutely carry. Jon would be awkward the whole episode because he's being outperformed by this weird posh guy. The jokes about Jimmy being weird and non-expressive and android-like would be redirected at Jeeves and he would just kind of stare blankly at them

His mascot would be something very simple or something very strange/non-humorous (like. Not even a lucky fancy pen, just a fancy pen that writes well that he can use for the working-out). He'd get the conundrum immediately

If Joe Wilkinson was on to do A Bit you'd be able to see him looking confused in the background the entire time

Wooster is hopeless. Maybe if he's on a team with Jon or Jeeves he'd be able to scrape some points but, realistically, he's drawing on his paper the whole time. He takes to the mascot-ing with abject glee & does very well with that. Panel is not sure whether to make fun of Jimmy or Wooster for being posh. Russell Howard would like him

Would be delighted by a Joe cameo. Would be very polite when requesting his letters and/or numbers. Would delight Susie Dent

Ukridge is in Dictionary Corner fucking shit up. If he knows how to work PowerPoint then he's got a PowerPoint to back up his little bit of standup; if not he's got hand-drawn posters. Nobody is quite sure what he's talking about. There's something about ungulates in there. Possibly a mention of cellular respiration. He spends the whole episode asking Jimmy for money. He gets on with Joe.

Corky, for reasons* that go entirely unexplained sits quietly next to Ukridge in Dictionary Corner for the whole episode. He is not mentioned by name once. People in the YouTube comments are asking who the weird silent guy is & if anyone else can see him & if it's some avant-garde Bit that they're doing. Someone says they wish that they'd've tried this Bit out with Jimmy

(*He's emotional support)

Archie Moffam starts crying

Mock the Week

Wooster is entirely unfamiliar with current events. Lends a Milton Jones air to the whole panel. Dressed similarly to Ed Byrne; they are both made fun of for wearing waistcoats

Jeeves is not asked onto the show because he would start doing actual fully-fledged political commentary and being so good at it that nobody would feel comfortable interrupting him

Ukridge would have either Egg Scramble (i.e. Ed Gamble) or Milton Jones vibes for reasons I cannot explain. Would get distracted by the flies & start trying to catch them in his hands

Corky is too soft-spoken to get a word in edgewise

Would I Lie To You?

Jeeves has an excellent poker face & ability to distinguish truths from lies, rendering him excellent at parlour games. Unfortunately he does not understand what there is to be enjoyed in them & as such is only invited on for one episode. He does get into a good little argument with David about something horribly pedantic, though. Also Rob makes fun of him by doing his O.O face into camera and Jeeves entirely misses it

Wooster is great at telling stories but horrible at lying. Everyone loves having him on because he tells a captivating story but it's so so easy to tell when he's lying. Might team up with Lee to annoy David. Rob really likes him. Starts spinning on his chair when they're doing pick-ups, distracting everyone

Ukridge is pretty good at playing. His comedic rant abilities rival David's, except he's not actually really trying to be comedic. All his stories end up being about Schemes & he writes them down during the episode planning to try them. People think this is a bit. It is not.

Only Connect

Jeeves is far too literally-minded for the connecting board but he does remarkably well on the rest of it. Victoria pokes fun at him the entire episode for being posh. He does not notice

Wooster's mind works in such mysterious circuitous ways that he's actually rather good at the connecting board. Unfortunately he is bollocks at the rest of it

Big Fat Quiz

Jeeves does not do very well. Too much pop culture for him

Wooster also does not do very well. His mind is like a sieve except the sieve has very big holes. Or maybe even no holes tbh. So basically his mind is like a sieve if you took the mesh out and all you have left is the metal loop around the top. Essentially he remembers nothing about anything. He brings homemade* sandwiches for the snacking segment. He is goofy & delightful enough that he does quite well be he is not invited back on account of performing so terribly. He does wear a spiffing outfit for the occasion though

(*i.e. Jeeves-made)

Ukridge does surprisingly well. He does start talking about his schemes though. He tries to get Jimmy in on them. He does not succeed

Corky is apparently the only chap who reads the newspapers. He does quite well!

Reggie Pepper also reads the newspapers but he is too busy being inexplicably hot while phoning people from bed so he only gets the barebones of most stories

Taskmaster

(I don't know if this really counts as a panel show, but what the hell.)

Jeeves takes everything literally and is very polite to Alex during all of the tasks. His prize tasks are almost all underwhelming except for one that is accidentally genius. He is so single-mindedly focused during studio tasks that he looks like he is about to murder someone the entire time. Surprise tasks/extra rules that he didn't notice prompt him to stare blankly into the middle distance. Greg is baffled by and attracted to him in equal measure throughout the season. The fanbase is very starkly divided on him. He probably wins the series but not many episodes

Wooster is a sort of Mike Wozniak figure. Endearingly baffled the entire time. Moves in an odd but captivating manner. Committed to the bit. Starts telling anecdotes while he's meant to be doing tasks. Absolutely delights Greg. Is probably lifted up in a studio session at least once (a la Jacaster)

Archie Moffam continues crying

Ukridge wears his mackintosh to studio sessions. He is overly familiar with Alex, who looks despairingly into the camera every time he is manhandled or asked to help with a Scheme. Every prize task is either an opportunity to get Greg in on a Scheme, or to offload things he does not need from previous unsuccessful (i.e. all) Schemes. He gets second place and is pleased as punch about it

That's about all I have at the present moment. Perhaps I'll update with more characters once I've ventured further into the House of Wode. Tootle-pip for now!

[phantomantz]

finished s4 today and here are some questions I still have

-WHAT HAPPENED TO SLOANE???

-why on earth did raymond "I would take my year with you over a lifetime with someone else" chestnut just leave allison?? like I get if the actor couldn't/didn't want to be in the season but they could have at least come up with an explanation

-why did luther get his ape body back, its not connected to his powers at all. they just did it to make two bad jokes didn't they

-why did some of them get different/upgraded powers but luther and diego didn't?

-when klaus was shot and allison gave him the marigold why didn't he just stay dead? s3 established he has a choice in whether he comes back to life

-what is durango even supposed to be? reginald says that jennifer is more powerful than all of them put together but thats only if she comes into contact with them right?

-HOW DID SHE GET IN THE SQUID

-how did five start the commission

-there was a total of 43 marigold children and yet we only ever meet like 16 of them. who are the others?? Also wouldn't their marigold also have to be absorbed to reset the timeline? Unless it did all get absorbed off screen somehow

-if jennifer was so dangerous why didn't reginald just kill her instead of building an entire town to keep her trapped... i know he wouldn't have had a problem with it.

-also this is more reginald just being stupid but why on earth would he send his kids with MARIGOLD on a mission where he knew a girl with DURANGO would be when he knows if they just made contact it would end the world. ALSO ALSO reginald was literally there so why didn't he just blow her up himself!!?? this shit gets dumber the more i think about it

-five says that the day they were born the timeline shattered or whatever but isn't that just his fault? he's the one with the time travel powers so without him there would be no way to create other timelines. wouldn't it have made more sense for just five to sacrifice himself then...? I guess Viktor would have still ended the world but the commission literally wanted the world to end in that timeline so what's the deal

-how could claire and diegolilas kids still be alive when their parents never existed. that would've created another grandfather paradox according to this shows logic but nope!

-oh yeah and what was the deal with the ben on the train at the end of s3 ... Literally had nothing to do with anything

thats all i can think of rn... I'm sure theres more but... my head hurty. if anyone has an explanation to any of these lmk

[sunriseseance]

I actually think it is SO INTERESTING how in a way the Sparrows became their own Reginald. In e2 Sloane expresses that she WISHES she could leave and like girl. You are 30. Your dad is so high he's offering cookies to the enemy. But she can't leave, can she? Because her siblings (and probably her) see each other as weapons, as teammates, as heroes, not as people. She can't leave because they'd hunt her down. She can't leave because none of them will ever leave. She can't leave because they'd never forgive her. That's some Reginald shit! They got robbed of all connection (mom and Pogo, half an hour of fun on Saturday), he trained them harder, he made them truly heroes, and they had no opportunity NOT to buy in. Marcus you are 30 why are you teasing Viktor for not being number one? Is it because the worst of your father lives in you? Hmmm?

And compare that to the Umbrellas, who are toxic and sometimes crazy, but overwhelmingly see each other as people first. Not as tool, not as part of the umbrella machine. It's such a fantastic dichotomy. I love this show.

[mortal-song]

the problem with tua's ending is that it was IMPOSSIBLE to do without retconning and defacing the themes and characterizations that have been central to the story since the very first episode. if you had to end it that way, if it really was "the plan all along," then fine. there ARE good ways to do that -- so the execution should have been much different here if that was the case. take a look at "the good place," for example. everyone ceased to exist at the end of that story as well, but it was beautifully done because it ADDED to the show's core themes rather than take away from them. tua's ending was hollow and unavailing. at some point i have to commend the precision with which someone can desecrate an entire series and certain characters (looking at five, diego and lila especially) like this.

it made no sense. diego and lila formed a beautiful (albeit chaotic) relationship built upon mutual trust and authentic love that neither of them had ever experienced before. it was something they were teaching each other and learning together. that was a new beginning to them, and it was painted as such by the narrative. at no point were there hints that things would go sideways, no build up. every time they stumbled in the past it was still right back into each other's arms. at no point did their chaos look like an ending until it was shoved in our faces for... shock value? to shake things up? i fail to understand where it came from. they were relentlessly devoted to each other and the only two people who could stand each other for long. and so what became of them was very jarring. very messy.

five's ENTIRE character has been focused on and motivated by one thing: saving the people he loves. to the point that he was willing to let his own humanity become a forgone ideal, a renounced concept, as many times as it took. to the point that he essentially INVENTED TIME TRAVEL and INVENTED THE COMMISSION TO REGULATE IT. five's stoic exterior only barely concealed the claw-grip he had on every single family member, so why forget it now? why choose to go back on that? and in what world would five hargreeves willingly wait MONTHS to return to his family? because he was SUDDENLY in love with lila, no less? forgetting the very apparent fact that his age and body are not in alignment, five had never shown any interest in romance. especially not towards lila. but they do have very similar backgrounds, and so this was a chance to enrich the mutual understanding five and lila have with each other, expand the familial connections they have, especially seeing as how both of them -- in their own ways -- spent most of their life without that sort of connection.

ben's entire arc felt so, so out of place. completely and very ironically isolated from the entire rest of the series. nothing about it was fulfilling, nothing about it offered any sense of closure or even development. jennifer made no sense even as a plot device, much less as her own character. these two brought out nothing in each other.

klaus had the foundations of a good arc, but too much was introduced in too small an amount of time and none of it really went anywhere. i can say roughly the same for allison and viktor. THAT being said, of most of the scenes i did find myself genuinely enjoying this season, THOSE three were usually at the center! in fact, i really did love the scenes with klaus, allison, and claire. so that's cool. i guess. luther? he was just kind of... there?

and ray just fucked off with no explanation? okay. and reginald? until this point he had all the qualities of a potentially VERY GOOD and nuanced villain. his arc fell flat. and let's not forget all the other loose ends, but, you know, we've been here long enough. so. onto the next point.

none of these characters got to heal. none of them ever got to revel in anything meaningful, or, rather, the things that WERE meaningful across the whole series were rendered worthless because... none of it exists anymore! none of it ever existed! this is like an "it was all a dream" ending but much worse. and these characters are so, so incredible. i can only name a few other stories that have had characters i've connected to this deeply. and despite everything i could never really stop loving them. that makes it hurt more though tbh

anyways. i know i'm about to sound incredibly dramatic but the ending made me sob my lungs out. this show was really important to me. it led me to incredible people, other incredible stories, helped me live, etc. but i honestly found myself wishing i'd just never watched this series at all. the ending was eviscerating and Just Fucking Pointless. i don't think i'm ever going to be able to rewatch it. it's still hard for me to conceptualize that it was even real, that this is all we get. there's a lot more i could say about everything, but again, i've said a lot already and i'm not trying to write a fucking novel. i'll say more of what i want to in sporadic bursts i guess.

[merthosus]

Cigarette Duett

Summary: As you finally get yourself comfortable after a long day, you were smoking a cigarette out of the window. Even though you Five scared you to death suddenly appearing behind you, the conversation between you two gets very intense.

Thank you for your lovely request! Also, here a sexy poster from Five I fell in love with! With every purchase you automatically support me :) https://amzn.to/3yGK6Fm

“You know those things are going to kill you one day, don't you?”

Your arms are covered in goose bumps, but you didn't mind. You were clearly too lazy to get yourself a sweater. You wouldn't stay at the window for more than two minutes anyway. You pull your long-sleeved T-shirt further down your arms in order to save every spark of warmth. The long drag on the cigarette makes your upper body rise up. You knew it wasn't good for you, but it had long since become a habit.

Each puff also brought a sense of security, the smell reminded you of your parents. Every time your lips touched the orange filter, your brain remembered a long hug from your mother. How comfortingly warm her closeness was, as a child you hated the smell of cigarettes. But now you miss it more than anything. No white walls are white anymore, no curtains are free of nicotine stains and no ashtray is empty. But you were different like them, you were very careful not to let a bit of smoke into the house.

It no longer mattered if Reginald found out you smoked, you were old enough and he was dead. None of the siblings thought it was great that you got your satisfaction that way, but they didn't judge you. Everyone took Klaus as a bad example and was glad that it was only cigarettes and not other things that Klaus offered you from time to time. But watching Klaus destroy himself piece by piece always made you turn down his offers.

Another strong puff made your cough seem all the louder when you were suddenly startled by the hand lying on top of you. It had been placed gently on your shoulder, with no intention of alarming you. As you turn around, coughing, you see Five standing in front of you, his face covered in a scowl. You try to hide the cigarette behind your back, as best you can without setting yourself on fire. “What are you doing here? It's pretty late, isn't it?” you ask him as you try to swallow the last few coughs. “You know those things are going to kill you one day, don't you?” Five asks you.

“If the apocalypse isn't quicker,” you smile a little and take the cigarette from your back again. “How did you know I was here?” you ask him, confused. “You can see the clouds of smoke from below,” he says as he tilts his head a little. When there is a brief but pleasant silence, he stands next to you and looks out of the window. “Could I steal one for you?” he asks. You weren't prepared for this question at all, your mouth opens slightly only to close again immediately afterwards.

“You smoke?” you ask him, perplexed. “Being stuck in the apocalypse for 45 years changes you. I found a few packs of Marlboro in an abandoned grocery store,” he tells you, before stealing one from your golden pack. You had no aider wall than to giggle. Five looks at you in confusion, trying to find a hold in your eyes. “What?” he asks, stunned. “I don't know, you're the last person I'd expect that from,” you smirk as you look at him with wide eyes.

Five lights the cigarette with a practiced flick of his wrist, the small flame briefly illuminating his face before he inhales deeply, the glow from the tip casting a faint red hue on his sharp features. The sight of him smoking is jarring, a reminder of just how much he’s changed—how much you’ve all changed. But there’s something oddly comforting in the shared habit, a small connection in the midst of all the chaos.

“Guess the apocalypse has a way of bringing out the worst in people”, Five says, exhaling a plume of smoke that mingles with the cold night air. He turns to you, his gaze softer than usual, the scowl that usually defines his expression replaced by something more contemplative. “Or maybe it just strips us down to who we really are". You lean against the windowsill, taking another drag from your cigarette as you let his words sink in. “And who are we really, Five? A bunch of broken kids trying to survive in a world that keeps falling apart?”.

He huffs out a bitter laugh, the sound tinged with a trace of sadness. “Maybe. But we’re still here, aren’t we? Still fighting, still trying to hold it all together. That’s got to count for something”. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the only sound the quiet hiss of burning tobacco and the distant hum of the city below. It’s strange, being here with Five like this—no time travel, no saving the world, just two people sharing a quiet moment. It feels almost normal, a fleeting glimpse of what life might have been like if things had been different.

The silence between you and Five stretches on, comfortable yet charged with something unspoken. The night air is crisp, carrying the distant sounds of a city that seems almost peaceful in its slumber. You take another slow drag from your cigarette, watching as the smoke curls into the darkness, and for a moment, you allow yourself to imagine that this is what normal feels like—a quiet night, shared between two people who understand each other in ways no one else ever could.

Five’s presence beside you is steady, grounding, but there’s an intensity in the way he looks at you now, as if he’s searching for something, maybe even a sign. You glance at him, catching his eye just as he turns to look at you, and for a brief moment, the world outside fades into nothingness. It’s just the two of you, suspended in time. “Do you ever wonder…” you begin, your voice barely above a whisper, “what it would have been like if none of this had happened? If we’d just been... normal?”

Five takes a long drag from his cigarette, his eyes never leaving yours. When he exhales, the smoke drifts lazily between you, but his gaze remains sharp, unwavering. “All the time,” he admits, his voice rough but honest. “But normal was never in the cards for us, was it?". You shake your head, a sad smile tugging at your lips. “No, I guess not". Your mind wanders to what it would have been like without all the superhero stuff. “Do you think we would have got on well without the circumstances?” you ask him. Imagining what it would have been like makes you happy.

Five takes a moment to consider your question, his eyes narrowing slightly as he contemplates the idea. The cigarette dangles loosely between his fingers, forgotten for the moment as his thoughts drift. “Honestly?” he finally says, his voice low and thoughtful. “I don’t know. Maybe we would have been just like any other siblings—fighting over the TV remote, complaining about chores. Or maybe we’d still be this…complicated.”

The way he says “complicated” makes you chuckle, and you’re surprised at how light it sounds, even in the midst of such a heavy conversation. “Yeah, complicated seems to follow us around,” you agree, flicking the ash from your cigarette out the window. “But I think we would have been alright. Maybe even better friends than we are now”. Five raises an eyebrow at that, a hint of amusement in his expression. “You think so? You’re forgetting that we’re all a little messed up, even without the superhero baggage.”

“True,” you concede with a shrug, “but I think there’s more to us than just the mess. Maybe without all the pressure, we’d have found a way to be close. Or maybe…” You trail off, suddenly unsure if you should finish that thought. “Maybe what?” Five presses, his curiosity piqued. You hesitate, chewing on your bottom lip as you try to decide whether or not to say it. Finally, you decide to take a chance. “Maybe we’d have found something even better than friendship,” you say quietly, not quite meeting his eyes.

You feel your heart skip a beat, your breath catching in your throat as your words sink in. The cigarette in your hand burns down to the filter, forgotten, as you meet his gaze—those sharp, piercing eyes softened now with an emotion that feels almost vulnerable. Five doesn’t respond right away, and you wonder if you’ve made a mistake by saying it. But then, out of the corner of your eye, you see him turn to face you fully, his gaze intent and searching. “Something better?” he echoes, his voice tinged with an emotion you can’t quite place.

You nod, still not quite able to look at him. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve always felt… I don’t know, like there was something between us. Even with everything else going on. Something that might have been different if things hadn’t been so complicated". There’s a long silence, during which you can feel your heart beating in your chest, loud and fast. You’re not sure what you expect him to say—or if he’ll say anything at all—but the anticipation is almost unbearable.

Then, slowly, you feel Five’s hand on your chin, gently turning your face towards him. When you finally meet his eyes, you see a softness there that takes you by surprise. “Maybe you’re right,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. “Maybe we would have found something…better". Your heart races as Five's hand lingers on your chin, his touch both gentle and deliberate. The intensity in his eyes holds you captive, and for a moment, the world outside fades into irrelevance. It's just you and him, standing together in this quiet moment that feels suspended in time.

Five's gaze flickers to your lips, and you can see the internal struggle in his eyes—hesitation, uncertainty, and something deeper, something he’s never allowed himself to acknowledge before. You realize that, like you, he’s been holding back, keeping walls up to protect himself from the complexities of your lives. But now, in this fleeting moment, those walls seem to be crumbling. “Maybe,” he repeats, his voice softening further, “maybe we’ve been running from this—whatever this is—for too long.”

You barely manage to nod, your breath catching in your throat as his words sink in. You’ve always known there was something between you, something unspoken but powerful, simmering beneath the surface. And now, it feels like you’re both on the edge of something new, something that could change everything. Five’s thumb gently strokes your chin, his eyes never leaving yours. The cigarette between his fingers burns down to ash, forgotten as he leans in, closing the small distance between you. You can feel the warmth of his breath against your lips, and your heart pounds in your chest, anticipation swirling in your veins.

Then, with a tenderness you never expected, Five presses his lips to yours. The kiss is soft at first, almost tentative, as if he’s still unsure if this is real, if this is something he can allow himself to want. But as your lips move together, the hesitation melts away, replaced by a flood of emotion that neither of you can hold back any longer. You respond in kind, your hand sliding up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer as the kiss deepens. There’s a desperation to it, as if you’re both trying to make up for lost time, for all the moments you could have had if things had been different. The world around you blurs into insignificance—there’s only the two of you, here and now, in this shared moment that feels like both a beginning and an end.

When you finally break apart, both of you are breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. Five’s eyes are closed, his expression a mix of relief and something else—something that looks like hope, like he’s finally found a piece of himself that he didn’t know was missing. “Maybe complicated isn’t so bad after all,” you whisper, your voice shaky but filled with a newfound certainty.

Let me know if you like a part 2 :)

[lookingforhappy]

Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven - Transcript

(note that there is a lot of random placements & repeated paragraphs. I've tried to connect as much of it as possible, and cut out repetitions to make it flow a little better. Hope this is enjoyable/interesting!)

as much content as I could find from Viktor's book transcribed in one post, picture credit to the TUA Prop Auction:

EXTRA ORDINARY MY LIFE AS NUMBER SEVEN AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY VANYA HARGREEVES Vanya Hargreeves is well known for her virtuosic skills as a violinist. Less understood is the role she played as one of Reginald Hargreeves' adopted children, standing alongside - but never counted among - the famous Umbrella Academy super kids. This is her story, in her own words. "An incredible read... a revealing portal into the amazing life of Vanya Hargreeves and the life she has lived. I couldn't put it down!" -Gerard Way

Vanya Hargreeves is well known for her virtuosic skills as a violinist. Less understood is the role she played as one of Reginald Hargreeves' adopted children, standing alongside - but never counted among - the famous Umbrella Academy super kids. This is her story, in her own words. Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven is a tell-all autobiography by one of the central figures of Reginald Hargreeves experimental and tragic team of heroic children, collectively know as the Umbrella Academy team. In this book, Vanya, ready to expose the truths behind the Academy's operation prior to it's disbanding in the mid-late 2000's, goes all in. With stories and anecdotes from her many years in the shadows. Vanya Hargreeves pulls no punches. No stone is left unturned, and no other member of the team is left unmentioned, for good or for ill.

Chapter One Our parting was sad, but natural in the end. I think about the circumstances of out vastly different births all the time. I've read the newspapers. I've seen the evidence. But at the same time I can't believe any of it. Even if Allison, Luther and all the rest of them were born and collected like the papers say, how did I become a part of this extraordinary family? Was I a dud, an unfortunate super-child who wasn't set up with the right circuitry? Or did I even come from the circle of miraculously born children at all? It made the most sense of any of my theories: a young mother, terrified by a future with a child she couldn't afford, saw the world-wide birth announcement, followed by Hargreeves' request and reward sum. I went through life cursing my mother, determined she was a money-grubbing con artist who sold me away to an eccentric, cold man who couldn't even use me for the purposes he set out. I was carted off like cattle and sequestered to a young life of self-doubt, all because my mother had wanted a payday more than she wanted me. I only sought out my birth mother once. All these news stories kept the identities of the traumatized mothers tightly under wraps, of course, but those were in the upstanding

publications. I believe that any detail about human history, if salacious or powerful enough to cause harm, can be found with the right kind of determination. I found a list of names, and scoured each for signs: did she have a boy or a girl? What had she done with her earnings from Hargreeves? Had she had other children? Where was she now? Two of the women could have lined up with my birth: Allison and I were the only female babies "found" by Hargreeves. It was easy to narrow down once I found pictures of them both: the woman with my hair, and my nose, lived in a small town off the Southern coast of Russia. At least, according to what I could find. I convinced Hargreeves that we needed to take the team there to train, after extensively researching the area's high mountains and secluded trails. It was perfect, and miraculously, he agreed! Thinking back, I wonder if he knew exactly what I was up to and wanted to help. We stayed for five days, and as the others sweated and trained, I kept records, and occasionally went off on my own. For any of the academy members to question Hargreeves' strict schedule or participate in non-approved "free" time would have been unacceptable. But as for me, I wasn't on the schedule in the first place. We spent enough time in Russia for me to track my birth mother down. I took buses, spoke what broken Russian I could to locals, and finally came to the house where I had been told she would be. We spent enough time in Russia for me to learn that the mother I had spent years searching for had died. The family of hers, and I guess of mine, who greeted me there invited me in. They seemed harmless and even kind. But I couldn't stay. Whether my mother knew I wasn't special or not, I realized I didn't want to know. I didn't want to hate a dead person any longer. Now I knew she was gone, it seemed pointless anyway. I've found that focussing on the past can only hurt me further. It's not worth spending any more of my time on the people who have all but forgotten me. I haven't gotten a call

from Allison in years, Diego's out fighting crime, Klaus has been partying himself into a stupor ever since we left the house, and Five is gone. Luther's the only one of us who stayed. I envied him for so many years growing up: Number One, the group's true leader. But now I pity him. Luther could have been anything: he could have had the fame Allison did. He could have gone wild like Klaus. He could have taken to the streets and fought against evil himself like Diego... but he stayed to become Hargreeves' pet. In the end, there was nothing really connecting the seven of us. We weren't related. We were nothing alike. We were just seven strangers living under the same roof: destined to be alone, starved for attention, damaged by our upbringing, and haunted by what might have been. We all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love. Our father never missed an opportunity to remind me that I was ordinary - a hard thing for a little girl to hear. But lately I've started to wonder - what's so bad about being ordinary? From the second we're born we're told to reach for the stars. To accomplish great things. But there is a value in life lived quietly. Going about our days, little by little. Finding contentment in small victories - a promotion, a friend, a beautiful day. Sometimes, the simple things are extraordinary.

so-called rumours about Allison and Luther, no pun intended, I can't say for sure. I'd like to think that what they have transcends words - when we were kids, it was just obnoxious. They spoke in code, swapped whispers. They were part of a world in which we weren't allowed. But as we got older I realised it wasn't some fantasy world they were playing in. Their minds were off somewhere else together. They shared looks and gestures that were meaningless to the rest of us... save maybe Klaus, who can be oddly perceptive when you least expect him to. But as for a romantic relationship between the two of them, that's none of my business. Frankly, I don't want to know. Adopted or not, if it were two of your siblings, would you want to picture that? Their secret conversations were the first sign of what was to come: watching the two of them so happy together, and acutely knowing I could never belong would become an intimate feeling in my life. Soon, they were together on missions. They were training all afternoon. And they were playing games I couldn't learn the rules to. It was all too obvious that there was a club for children with superpowers, and ordinary children like me were decidedly barred. I would say it was Dad who implemented all of this. He caused my alienation through procedures, through harsh rules that we all followed for fear of the alternative. And to an extent, that's all true. I can't forgive what he did to me - but sometimes I wonder where Dad's actions ended and my siblings' began. When you consider what a mind, especially a young mind, will absorb and harness when put into dire situations, it's not at all difficult to believe that my siblings learned cruelty from Dad until they eventually made it their own. It wasn't just the rules keeping me out of top-secret meetings anymore. It just made sense that I should sit at the end of the table, so Diego could help Five's technique, or so Allison could paint Klaus' fingernails. I became accustomed to sulking and watching them from afar - most of my morning oatmeal went uneaten and but thoroughly picked at.

Meals became the one time of day we were all forced to be together - and I met them with equal parts anticipation and dread. Would today be the day I engaged Allison? Could I stand up to Diego's taunts? Maybe I'd show Five the musical piece I'd been working on for weeks. Though prone to arrogance and outbursts, even more than the average preteen, Five was my sole confidante in the years before he disappeared. It almost seemed fitting that of all the siblings to leave us, it would be him who I fully trusted, and who fully trusted me. Five was almost always one step ahead of Dad's manipulations, and he didn't play into the games of favourites like my other siblings. Five always told me that ego was man's most unattractive weakness - he thought himself above competing for fatherly love and prizes. Even then he was beyond his years. I think about Five often, and where he is now. The others say he's dead, caught in a terrible accident, or shredded up in the time space continuum. But I know Five, and I know he was too smart for that. Reckless, maybe, but he's brilliant. I wouldn't be surprised if he were living it up in the seventies now... but hippie hash wasn't really his style. For all I know he's gone to the future and never looked back. If he has, and he's happy, then I am happy for him. I'm sure none of us can say we never had a moment where we wished we could escape. Not just run away, but also go somewhere where Dad couldn't track us down and pull us back into his web. Surprisingly, I only ran away once. Despite everything, it took so much for me to believe I could belong anywhere else but the home in which I was abused. Shortly after Five dissappeared, I took his lead. It was about time I saw what's out there. But I knew nothing other than what I had been taught about myself and my life: I was simply not special. But I asked myself on that day: What if I was special, to somebody else? The rest of the world was ordinary. Maybe the real world was where I belonged all along.

One morning, I left the Academy - my bag stuffed to the gills with clothes, snacks, and mementos I couldn't leave behind. I think I even brought a dream catcher, for fear of nightmares from home following me wherever I went. I only made it to a bus stop, and I sat there all day long - and strangely, for the first time in my life, it hit me that I was completely alone. I had thought I was alone my entire life, but this was something new and entirely different. I was afraid of what I didn't know, and would choose Dad's torment any day over the endless dark that stretched down our street. Buses came, but I waved the kind drivers away. That night, I walked back through the front doors, and no one knew I had ever left in the first place. I wonder how long it would have taken them to realize - the extra girl they never needed was absent. Would it have made a difference? To this day, I'm not sure. The next time I left that house was when we all did. After what happened to Ben. Our everyday existence was full of evidence that Dad had stepped into treating us like experiments. Not as children, but like animals. And what happened to Ben was the last straw that finally shattered the illusion for the others. I regret that though I knew all along what they realised that day, I didn't have the spine to leave on my own. It wasn't until Allison took off for Hollywood and Diego cursed out the old man for good that I realized we were, ultimately, a broken family.

I had always kept up hope that my family would accept me into the fold. I thought that as long as there was a club to belong to, one day they would notice me and invited me in. Everyone would apologize: Vanya, we can't believe we wasted so much time without you, you're our sister after all. But it was then that I realized something massive: there was nothing for me to aspire to be anymore. It was liberating - the life that I had wanted for as long as I could remember was had finally fallen apart. Without "The Umbrella Academy," I had the freedom to be whomever I chose. Suddenly, my violin playing wasn't stupid - it was something that made me special in the real world. It made me enough money to afford an apartment - it's small but it's mine. It got me into an orchestra, a position I got all on my own talents. This meant I could teach young people how to be special for themselves. Teaching became my passion - my own, personal super power. I treated my students how I had always wished my father had treated me: I trained them, I listened to their problems, and I made sure each of them felt loved in their own, special way. Teaching may seem such a small profession to many, but it became the best part of my life.

[umbrellaacademyfun]

Overthinking the subway scenes in the trailer

Who's ready for some Umbrella Academy speculation??

I want to talk about the subway.

It's interesting that the only two people that we see in this station are Five and Lila. Also of note: We see Five jump into this station. This gives the impression that it's only accessible perhaps through said jumps.

One counter is this part in the trailer where it seems Five and Lila are emerging from a what appears to be a train station exit. This suggests that there is perhaps an exit and entrance. But I wonder if it's still connected to their powers somehow?

Also of note: There's no verbiage on that station exit. All we see is symbols that look suspiciously alien. Maybe that's how things are in this timeline, but maybe it means something more?

This station seems to be connected to the timelines in some way. (That "map" Lila is looking at seems unlike a traditional map, and more like the machine Reginald was working with at the end of s3.) This, and the station exit, makes me wonder if this station is maybe connected to multiple timelines? Perhaps this isn't the final timeline after all?

Also of note: In the scene of Lila crying, she's dressed differently. This suggests the rest of the scenes are close to each other, but this one is at a different moment. Perhaps what they discover here isn't so pleasant? Or, maybe, she's hoping this station holds the key to undoing whatever is making her cry?

Just some thoughts brewing in my brain. My opinion is subject to change and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[astra-ravana]

The Practice Of Demonolatry

Demonolatry, the communion, summoning, and worship of demons, is a complex and often misunderstood practice with roots in ancient history. While it's difficult to pinpoint the exact origin, early forms of demon work can be traced back to pre-Christian cultures, where spirits and deities were often associated with both positive and negative aspects of the natural world.

In the Abrahamic traditions, demons are typically portrayed as fallen angels or evil spirits, often associated with temptation, sin, chaos, misfortune, and death. However, in some occult and esoteric practices, demons are viewed as powerful beings who can grant knowledge, power, and protection to those who understand how to work with them. The word "demon" comes from the ancient Greek "daemon" which literally meant "divine entity" or "minor god". Many demons are, in fact, disgraced pagan gods who met with the limited understanding of early Christians. Due to events such as the crusades and prevalent witch hunts throughout history, information pertaining to demons was likely supressed or destroyed entirely.

The Renaissance period, however, saw a resurgence of interest in demonology, with figures like Johann Weyer and Reginald Scot challenging the prevailing view of demons as purely evil entities. These thinkers argued that many cases of demonic possession could be attributed to mental illness or other natural causes. In the 19th and 20th centuries, demonolatry experienced a revival within certain occult and esoteric circles. Figures like Aleister Crowley, Anton LaVey and other practitioners of Satanism and Theistic Satanism incorporated demonic entities into their rituals and beliefs. These modern forms of demonolatry often emphasize personal empowerment, self-reliance, and the exploration of darker aspects of the human psyche.

Modern demonolaters such as S. Connolly, Michael W. Ford, and Satan and Suns are now helping transition demonaltry from obscure occult practice to every day magick. It is a diverse and multifaceted system, with a wide range of beliefs and practices. There is much to be gained when interacting with these powerful, otherworldly energies. Some practitioners view demons as literal entities, while others interpret them as archetypes or psychological forces. Regardless of their specific beliefs, demonolators often share a fascination with the occult, the supernatural, and the darker side of human nature (or the shadow).

Demonolatry as a practice or magickal rite is an almost unmatched catalyst for change, transformation, growth, knowledge, magickal ability and more. A connection to the demonic divine is a portal to the universe and understanding the true nature and origins of life. Doing your research is key, but there is no better teacher in this case than experience. Its hard to understand how natural and comforting demonic connection can feel without actually feeling it first hand. Letting go of preprogrammed fears and expectations to leap bravely into the dark may not be easy and it's not for everyone, but it is one of the most freeing and enlightening experiences one can have. So... What are you afraid of?