#{ Like... I didn't feel like I had to force myself to contain my personality in order to not seem overwhelming. }

[ghostbustting]

hihi, i love your writings! can i get a 80 slash fic where it's around halloween time and the reader was force to attend a party with her friends. Slash notices reader and how hot her costume is. ( a bit modest version of the playboy bunny outfit ) Slash is cocky but the reader doesn't know who the hell he is but after a few drinks...they are upstairs doing the devils tango. 😈

Idk why this took me so long yet so effortless, but october seems to be the perfect month to post it 🙌

♯ ; “𝑩𝑬𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑩𝑼𝑵𝑵𝒀„ ༘⋆

Saul "Slash” Hudson x Fem!Reader.

Contains SMUT ; p in v, squirting, dirty talk (?),

oral (f receiving).

The smell of booze and sweats fill my senses, I guess you can already imagine how terrible it is. I can't even remember when did I ever agree to step a single toe into this god awfully packed Halloween party? At this point, I'd rather go trick or treat instead around the neighborhood and receive some sweets by the end of the night.

The whole night I made it my quest to try and stick close to my friends, following them, a similar sight to how dogs would follow their owners around. It was never my desire to attend this party anyways, wasn't quite of a party person at the first place, let alone a Halloween party where I have to dress up in costumes and shit. Yet my friends were quite hard to resist, forcing me to come with them to this party.

So here I am, standing at the corner of this unknown loaded house in my terrible attempt of a Playboy Bunny costume, buying my costume from the nearest store available just a day before the party, despite the cheap fabric making it look like I only put on a black swimsuit and a bunny ears bandana. It was quite revealing, I could feel eyes on me as I walk around, but who the fuck cares?

My friends were long gone from my sight, last thing I seen from them was when they were dirty dancing around some dudes. Unfortunately, I was no fan of that activity, leaving me to just stand in the corner of the party like an absolute outcast. I didn't mind. I had my cup of drink and that was enough to keep me occupied till my friends are ready to take me back home.

News flash, they never did take me home.

In fact, I have completely lose sights of every single one of them. Those little fuckers dragged me here and literally left me to rot between all of these party animals when I could've had a movie night back in my place. What a waste of a Halloween night. Isn't it?

I crush up the empty red plastic cup in my grasp and swiftly threw it away into the trash can, which everyone seems to be oblivious of, judging from all the empty plastic cups laying around on the floor, ready to cause someone to trip and fall.

However, the still fueled up plastic cups set on the table have managed to catch my attention yet again as I find myself making my way back to that table and seeking another cup of drink, which makes this my... third drink..?

My mind shrugs off the forgotten count of drinks as I spot one particular cup with more liquid filled inside besides the other cups. A grin on my lips, my arm stretches and my hand reached out for the cup.

Only to be met by another hand.

A big calloused hand that belonged to a man I couldn't place who or where I would recognize him from.

My eyes trailed from his hand that was lightly touching my own, up to his face, which was mostly covered by those voluminous curls of his hair, a hat sitting perfectly still on top of those curls. Behind those curls, were eyes that peeks through his own strands of hair with a gaze that met mine almost instantly. Almost as if he was inspecting me just like the way I seem like I was inspecting him.

"This cup's taken, sweetheart." He spoke to me, his voice causing a rather odd and unfamiliar tingling feeling in my stomach.

Only then did I realize how warm the feeling of his skin was against my cold one, his voice able to mute out the loud rock music that has been blaring through the speakers all evening as he say, “Or should I say.. Bunny.” This time, he ends his words with a chuckle, eyes trailing up and down my costume.

I raise my eyebrow at him and reluctantly let go of the cup from my hand, “Whatever.” I muttered before taking a different cup displayed on the table, yet somehow still feeling the gaze of those eyes that belonged to him on the side of my head, gaze so strong that he was practically burning a hole right through me. Just as I turn to him again with a sip of the drink, it was proven that he was indeed still gazing over me.

A sigh left my lips from the liquid that cleared my throat, my hip carefully leaning against the table while I listen as words seem to leave him yet again, “No company, Miss Bunny?” He ask, his hand reaching up to deliver the cup to his lip, I watch his adam’s apple bob as he swallow the liquid.

”My friends are here, but they… well, they found other companies.” I shrugged.

I hear him click his tongue and shake his head, “And let you isolate yourself over there in the corner? Sounds like a bunch of fakers to me.” He scoffed, a small smirk playing devilishly on those lips he owned on his face.

”No, no..” I shake my head with a small chuckle, “I didn’t want to attend this party at first anyways, so—”

”Well, why the fucking hell not?!” He threw his arms up, the liquid spilling from his red cup just a little, “With a costume as sexy as this, I surely thought you’d be much more of a party animal.” WIth each words he spoke, I can feel more and more the way his gaze seems to caress the skin of my body up and down. It was rather odd… it made me feel a certain feeling in my heart that made it beat faster, my thighs clenching just a little. Or was it just the effect of the drink? I couldn’t even figure it out before he spoke yet again.

A step was taken from his shoe, his body moving closer to my own, “How ‘bout I show you the real fun of the party? Some talking, dancing, more drinking maybe?” The mysterious man suggested, that same smirk on his face, “I’ll keep it appropriate. I promise, Miss Bunny.” He spoke almost in a teasing way that I was quite confident this night wouldn’t end up in such an appropriate ending anyways.

”Fine then, rockstar looking guy.”

The moment I let my decission slip out, the moment names were shared, and the moment my third drink became my fifth, time seems to fly in a way that is quicker than ever. Each joy of a party that the guy— Slash showed me became a comfort I found building up in me around him. My still somewhat sober part of a brain tried desperately to comprehend whether this feeling is caused by the alcohol in my system or just purely by the fact this man is so mesmerizing. Perhaps even both of those.

The more information I learn about him, the more I feel a magnetic sort of pull towards him, I just hope my pupils aren’t heart-shaped at this very moment. As time passes by, it feels as if I’ve known him for decades and decades already, in knowledge of small details of his very own life. HIs famous band, Guns ‘N Roses, his love for snakes, his guitar skills.. Can he be any more interesting?

Touches were shared here and there, especially when we joined the people dancing around to the music. His large warm palm on my waist was a touch that have been spiritually tattoed onto my skin, a touch to think back every now and then about the strange and mysterious— yet charming stranger I met at the Halloween party.

I mean, honestly, I didn’t know how it all ended up this way.

However, my half sober guess was a 100% correct guess as the first moment we were just dancing and drinking innocently, the second moment we were in some random bedroom, the third moment.. I'm on top of his body, stradling his naked lap as I bounce up and down his large cock, moans pulled out of my lips like a dirty prayer. His hands were yet again placed on both of my waist as he help me bounce up and down, the tip of his cock that was already slick from my saliva moving smoothly in and out of my hole.

”Oh god, yes!”

I gasped, my head thrown back as dirty moans cannot stop pouring from my lips which were smiling widely from ecstasy. Looking down, my eyes lands on the ripped stockings I wore and the way his cock slipped in and out of my dripping cunt, not to mention the way one of his hands have moved to use his thumb on my clit, rubbing harsh circles.

The bastard was smirking back up at me, small grunts leaving his lips as he buck his hips up to me every here and there, “Shit— How are you so fucking tight?” He chuckled breathlessly through his grunts, the circles he rubbed over my clit became more urgent while his hold on my waist tightens to the point it might leave a mark.

My mind was clouded, I couldn't think of another thing other than how good his cock filled me up, fitting just perfectly inside of me as if his cock was made specially for my cunt.

Eventually, my body fell ontop of him as my body became weak, limp with his cock still burried deep inside of me. Slash didn't let that stop his fun though as he suddenly flipped our position, positioning me on my stomach on the bed while he took his position behind me, hand on my hip and the other on his member.

"Gonna fuck this pussy so hard.." He grunted as he finally pushed his head through my folds, pushing a lewd moan out of my throat, "You like that, mm? Such a good bunny, aren't you?" He laughed, his hand coming down to smack across my ass.

The sting that lingered on from his palm caused me to gasp loudly, eyes rolled to the back of my head till they were shut tight with my face pressed into the pillow, "Fuck! Please.." I cried out as he thrusted in and out of me with a pace of no mercy, no resistance, hips snapping back and forth as sounds of skins slapping fills the room.

His arms slowly trail to wrap around my stomach, as if they were snakes lurking around me and ready to feast on me. I feel him placing his weight on me, chest on my back while he press his lips onto my ear, "Gonna fuck you dumb. Now you can be a real fucking rabbit."

Those were the last things I managed to hear before I feel him thrusting in and out of me again. Hard. And fast. I could hardly utter out a letter as my words were taken away by each pump. He was fucking me like rabbits would, humping like rabbits do. It was rough. It was dirty. And I loved every single second of it.

I can feel the veiny skin of his cock dragged in and out of my walls, the tip hitting every single spot that made the pressure bunch up even more in my stomach which only increased when he tightened his arms around it. Nasty moans left my lips, so loud that it eventually turned to lewd screams, eyes rolled to the back of my head.

"S-shit!" I gasped, "More, more.." My words came out in a desperate pant of lust, my ass trying to grind back against him.

Yet another breathless laugh escaped him, "Dirty slut.." He spat, one of his hands trailing up to slip two digits of his fingers past my lips, to which I instantly sucked on like— as he worded, an asbolute dirty slut. Humming around his digit and swirling my tongue around them, I feel him twitching right inside me.

Yet somehow, he never ever changed his pace, staying determined on that rough and deadly pace that made me feel like I'm on cloud nine.

I pull my face away from his fingers as I gasped out, "Close.. I'm so close.." My hand flew to his arm as I hold it tightly, needing something to hold on before I could pass out right on his devil of a cock. "Please.. finish me.." As much as I hate hearing myself and admitting it, I sounded the whiniest I've ever been, underneath him, begging him to give me the best orgasm I ever had.

"You're fucking crazy if you think I wouldn't.." He grunted, fingers digging into the soft skin of my waist as he finally starts slowing his pace, obviously just as close as I was, at the same time he reached down to my sensitive clit, rubbing those same harsh circles he did earlier.

It didn't take long enough before I let out the loudest moan I did tonight right as the fluids of my cum came squirting out of my cunt, "Oh fuck! Fuck!" I gasped, never once experiencing an orgasm like this. Eventually, I feel his own thick cream filling me up till I'm full of him, his voice groaning right in my eyes, something I wish I could listen to every sinful night I went through.

As soon as we finished, Slash pulled out of me and pulled my hips up so my ass was in the air. Being in my fucked up stance, I didn't know what was going to happen till I feel his warm tongue lapping our mixed cum that was oozing out of my folds, eating it out like he was starving man.

My throat was way too tired to even be loud anymore, only letting out a quiet and strangled moan as he finished, hopping onto the spot on the bed right next to me, a wide devilish smirk already on his glistening lips that was soon attatched to mine, my tongue tasting both of us with a grin building in my own face.

I feel him reach for my bunny ears and took it off me. Only when we pull apart that I noticed he have put the bunny ears on himself and place his own hat on my head.

"You look stupid."

He laughed at my statement while one of his thumbs ran over my ruined and smudged make up. "You still look sexy, bunny."

Well damn it, I guess I love Halloween.

[eliciria]

Hello how are you doing??

Can I request luka x reader from alien stage comfort?? I am craving one after watching wiege whatever it’s reader comforting him or the opposite); (doesn’t have to be after wiege either can be anything)

a/n : thanks for requesting !! also of course heh. I actually don't know how to write comfort (after 2 years of solely writing angst...) so I'm sorry in advance LMFAO

warnings /content : comfort/fluff, contains mentions of violence, swearing, slightly yandere esque, sligghtlyyy suggestive

whisper to the trees (ask box) ... : open! feel free to request more alien stage, or any of the fandoms that are listen in my master list ^^

Backstage

luka x reader (comfort)

Today wasn't your day, and Luka could see that. Having been...well, not exactly the best person for his life in terms of empathy or sympathy, he gauges his competitors' emotions and laughs at the slightest hint of despair.

So when he sees the same expression that he usually delighted in when face to face against his 'rivals' on stage, now on you, he wasn't exactly sure on what to do.

You were sitting in the make up room, after another nameless PR stunt for the aliens. Something about this day in particular felt draining. Could it have been the burn out, perhaps? Or maybe something else? You weren't sure, but you felt like shit.

Luka was 'busy' reading his schedule(given to him by his alien secretary), but after hearing what felt like the millionth sigh from you, did he finally take action. He takes the space next to you, and immediately, you began to speak.

"Sorry. I disturbed what little bit of personal time you have left-"

"Is something going on?" He bluntly said, eyes staring straight into you. You paused. His words were outright, and his blank expression yet slightly gentle tone caught you off guard.

"No, not really... Just a bad day, I suppose."

He hummed, seemingly not believing it, but he nodded either way. He leaned back on the couch, eyes fluttering closed and his fingers holding the tips of your hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You remain silent, and this time, he is the one that sighs. But not from sadness, no.

From exasperation.

"You don't need to tell me right away if that's what's keeping you from talking. I don't know what happens to you 24/7, but you don't need to pretend. We're not on screen, no one to see." His voice slightly shook as he continued. "So, just let it out. Even if you think I'll laugh. Even if you think it's stupid to."

"...I don't know. Today just feels worse than all the other days."

"Mmm...thats okay to feel. I've had days where I wanted to just run away."

"But you didn't."

"Because you're here."

"You can't be serious."

"Try me." He smiled. "It's true, though. I would've left this god forsaken place already if it weren't for you staying here. I wouldn't last that long out as a rogue, though."

You cracked a half hearted smile. "I don't exactly believe you, of all the humans, to abandon your survival over me."

He blinked yet again. His words took a soft but serious tone.

" I'm genuine about that. What, you really think I'm all bark no bite?" He smiles, pinching your cheek, though it wasn't painful. "I'd abandon all of the achievements I have and all of the privileges I forced myself to achieve for you. I mean, it wasn't my desire to be this way. It was my guardian's. What I really want is just you. You could beat me up, do anything you want, as long as you even acknowledge me."

"You're weird Luka."

"Whatever keeps you not being so depressed on me. Though I suppose I've failed in that aspect." Sighing, he tilts his head. "You don't need to be perfect all the time, you know. I see the way you try. And it's painful. Painful for me to watch you fight back tears and let out a fake smile; the same one I use. I prefer to see you genuine, even if that means all I see is your snot filled face. I'll still love you either way."

When you heard his last sentence, it cracked open a dam in you.

Something salty and wet dripped from your face, and before you realized it, you were crying. His words were cliche, standard, downright creepy, even, but he looked genuinely concerned at your demeanour. His hands twitched, expression contorting to one of acceptance and affection as you suddenly embraced him. It was warm but weirdly cold (mostly because he was just cold all the time). His hand wiped your tears, the other lightly rubbing your back. Hums left his mouth as each stray tear that left your eye was wiped away.

" Must be a really bad day, huh?...You'll be okay. Whatever you're crying about, I think it'll just pass."

His usual masked face he used, now discarded into a more vulnerable state. Now, it was a comforting, almost sweetly warm Luka. No longer was his on-stage persona, and the only thing that remains is the essence of emotion that even his guardian couldn't remove from him. Being human.

[scariusaquarius]

rehab. 22.

Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Winter Soldier! Fem! Reader

Summary: While on a mission to find any more possible super soldiers that were a part of the Winter Soldier program, Steve and Bucky make a discovery in an abandoned HYDRA base that was cleared out a few years prior to their mission. They discover the Reader, a long-forgotten soldier that was still asleep within a functioning cryostasis pod; still awaiting orders. While Bucky isn't happy about it, he is put up to the challenge of helping to rehabilitate the soldier in Wakanda where she may be able to become a person again.

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A/n: hnnn like i said, hated the last chapter, so i'm hoping that this one is much better rip so sorry about that!! I really wasn't sure how I wanted last chapter to go smh. Also, if you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee! If you would prefer to read Rehab on Archive, you may do so right HERE!

This is an au where Bucky joined the avengers but still rehabilitated in Wakanda (sometime before Infinity War [canon divergent cause NOPE]). I am NOT fluent in Russian, so I did use google translate cause I couldn't find a good translator that I trusted. If anything is wrong, PLEASE let me know!! Also, I tried to list as many warnings as possible so you know what the story will contain as chapters are posted. Stay safe!

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Genre: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers/Friends to Lovers, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Drama, Dark Content Rated: Explicit Warning: Angst, Dark Content: Graphic Depictions of Sexual Assault, Blood and Gore, Mentions of Manipulation, Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Nonconsensual Body Modification/Scarring, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Mentions of Murder, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts/Ideation, Graphic Depictions of Human Remains, Mentions of Sexual Coercion/Manipulation, Death, Misuse of Drugs/Forced Drugging, Self-Harm (Graphic Depictions and Mentions), Nightmares

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Author: ScariusAquarius

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rehab masterlist. chapter 18 / chapter 19 / chapter 20 / chapter 21

His mind was quiet. For the first time in a long time, Bucky Barnes' mind was quiet. Despite the fact that he knew Wanda had something do with the silence and there was a part of him that was actually enjoying the silence, there was another part of him that was angry.

Bucky didn't like not having control over his own mind and body.

While Wanda was purposefully keeping him calm, there was an untouched part of his mind that was extremely upset at the loss of control. To Bucky, it didn't feel any different than when he was trapped in his mind as the Winter Soldier during the moments he was present. When he was remembering.

His body was stiff as he sat near Rollins, and though Bucky wanted nothing more than to lunge and strangle the man, his body would not respond. It was like pushing against a wall, and no matter how much force he exerted and no matter how much he yelled in anger within his head, Bucky's body just wouldn't respond. Wanda was giving him a sympathetic look, stating softly to him within his mind.

"I'm sorry to do this, James, but we need Rollins alive."

It was strange to hear her voice in his mind though her lips never moved, and Bucky glanced at her, his eyebrow twitching with annoyance. Taking a leap, Bucky began to think.

"What makes you think I'm not in control of myself? You're just like everyone else...always believing that I'm going to revert back to who I was before."

He knew that he was being petty; his words accusatory and sharp with the intention of hurting, but Wanda didn't seem to react. The only inclination of any response was a subtle flash of shame that flickered within her glowing eyes before Wanda turned away from him.

"I do not think that for a second. We were all worried that you were going to breakdown at the revelation of the Winter Soldier having a part of Project Achilles."

The words made his chest cave in, and Bucky clenched his fingers. he hissed his thoughts, feeling as though he was back in a cage where control was an illusion; baring his teeth and tail between his legs as he became defensive.

"That's my choice to make. You don't get to choose how I feel."

His words seem to strike a cord in Wanda, and she glanced back at him, her gaze soft as she whispered.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt you."

Even through the twinges of betrayal that tickled at his mind; the anxiety and the anger at being forced to relinquish his control over his own mind and body, Bucky understood and knew that Wanda was being honest. He knew that Wanda just wanted to protect him, but Bucky couldn't turn a blind-eye to being made a prisoner in his own mind again.

"I didn't need your help. This is something that I have to live with...to take responsibility for. I did this to (Y/n)."

His fingers were clenching harder, the knuckles on his flesh-hand taut and shaking slightly. Bucky's muscles were tight and uncomfortable, and Wanda sighed slightly.

"Believe me, you will get your time with this vile man."

Bucky wanted to laugh. As if that was ever a question. Getting his alone time with Rollins wasn't just about what he had done to (Y/n)...it was about what Rollins had done to him as well. The hours of torture, of taunts...of watching as Rumlow took his time with him....smiling all the while.

Bucky could feel his fingers threading through his hair, pulling painfully and forcing his head up as lips brushed against his ear; hot and foreboding as the voice whispered promises of obedience and control. The sting was present; the burning the only thing that Bucky could comprehend as cruel taunts and encouragements echoed around the room. They were watching. Just standing and watching.

Why did they hate him? Why did they treat him like this? All the asset wanted was to please and perform well...to fulfill his duty as the Fist of HYDRA. Why did force him to his knees, pulling his hair, forcing his mouth open-

Bucky was suddenly jerked out of his memory, and his gaze flicked to Wanda, who looked horrified. Guilt flooded his body, shame and embarrassment making Bucky cower just the slightest as he attempted to apologize for what Wanda had just witnessed.

"I...I'm sorry."

"No, do not apologize...what they did to you...what they did to all of us...it will never truly leave. We may forget, but our bodies; our feelings...they will always remember. But they will never...ever...do that again as long as we are here with you, James."

Her reassurance didn't go unappreciated, but the damage had already been done. Bucky couldn't look at her; couldn't dare to see the expression that she wore upon her face. Bucky could feel control slipping back to him, the red glow over his body disappearing, and Bucky stood up, immediately leaving to find a quiet spot in the back of the quinjet. Sitting down by himself, he rested his head in his hands and could feel the tears coming to his eyes. As the emotional turmoil began to boil over, Bucky became lost in his thoughts.

No, this wasn't just about what Rollins did to (Y/n). While Bucky did care about the woman, there was still unspoken baggage that Bucky hadn't been able to work through since his time in Wakanda. There was no way to justify the cruel methods Brock Rumlow and his previous Handlers before him had enacted upon Bucky when he would fail, lash out, underperform, or when they just felt like it.

Yes, Bucky knew exactly what (Y/n) was going through...but the knowledge that even he had a hand in her inability to escape from HYDRA had Bucky in shambles.

She's got you to make sure that she doesn't fall back into that place.

But how can Bucky be there for her now and help her out of that familiar darkness when he helped put her there? All that talk of him having the only right to help was bullshit; nullified by his actions. Besides, when (Y/n) began to remember...why would she ever want his help then? When she remembered, Bucky was sure that she would curse him, hate him, make him remember that no matter what he did, HYDRA would always follow him.

You will always be HYDRA. Even if you escape, you will miss your time here. It will call you home whether you like it or not.

Bucky should have known. He should have known that he was connected to her somehow given the timeline. Bucky bit his lip, stifling his sobs as he held his hands up to his mouth, clenching his jaw so hard that he was sure he was going to break his teeth.

What did he not remember about her?

Bucky swallowed thickly, and when he was interrupted by Wanda informing him about their arrival back to Wakanda, he couldn't help but to look at the woman and beg her quietly.

"Please make me remember...what did I do? What did I do to her?"

Wanda's face fell, and she shook her head gently, responding quietly.

"I can't make you remember...that's not my place, and you know that."

Bucky knew he wasn't thinking rationally. He knew that his request wouldn't have been able to be honored, but it didn't make him any less upset. Bucky let his head fall into his hands again, and he whispered softly.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

Wanda pursed her lips, staring Bucky down before she came to stand near him, placing her hand against his shoulder and making him look up at her, his blue eyes red and puffy and nostrils flaring as his lip trembled.

"You face it. What's done is done, and though there is nothing that you can do to change the past, you can change the future. You are not that man anymore, James...and I think (Y/n) will understand that when the time comes. Just give it time. It is not going to be easy...but we are all here for you....for you both. Neither of you have to do this alone."

She then sighed and turned away, adding gently.

"The only thing that you can do is ensure that this never...ever happens again to anyone."

Her words were slightly vague, but Bucky could tell what she was trying to say. The woman stood up, her eyes glowing brighter before she stated.

"I didn't tell you this, but they're planning on moving Rollins to a secure part of the kingdom...and (Y/n) is upset about your absence."

Bucky was surprised, asking as his eyes fluttered just the slightest as he cleared the tears from his eyes.

"She's...upset that I left?"

"She wasn't told about the mission, so she was under the impression that you were retrieving Rollins to return her back to HYDRA. I think she needs to hear it from you that it wasn't the plan."

Bucky took a moment before he shook his head, stating quietly.

"I don't know if I can face her...not after knowing that I had a hand in this...in her."

Wanda was quiet before she comforted gently before turning to leave.

"You don't have to right now...but think about it."

Her exit was quiet; her feet never touching the ground, and Bucky, though feeling slightly better, still felt the bile sitting at the back of his throat. Wiping his eyes and face, Bucky took a calming deep breath before he stood and walked out of the quinjet. While he wasn't surprised to see Steve waiting for him, Bucky wasn't sure if he liked the furious look within his eyes.

Bucky's steps were slow and cautious, and Steve asked him, the anger within his eyes lessening just the slightest as he regarded his friend.

"How are you holding up?"

Bucky gave Steve an annoyed look, shrugging his shoulders.

"As good as I can with knowing that I helped with all of this."

Steve looked at Bucky with a sad yet guilty expression, and Bucky honed in on it immediately. Before he could ask what was going on, however, Steve informed him gently.

"I’ve been thinking… maybe it’s best if you take a step back from helping with (Y/n)'s rehabilitation program. Not because of what happened—but because I can see this is tearing you up, Buck"

There it was again. People trying to tell him how he should feel; trying to control his actions and what he needs to do. Bucky couldn't help but to become upset, giving Steve a glare.

"You think I can't handle it."

Steve was hesitant, shaking his head as he raised his hands in surrender.

"That's not what I'm saying, Bucky."

Bucky couldn't help but to snap, his voice raising just the slightest as he gestured wildly with his hand.

"That's what it sounds like. I have to face this, Steve. I have to face and deal with the fact that I helped put her in this position...that I killed her mom just like I killed Tony's parents...like I've killed everyone else."

Bucky took a breath, his hands trembling and chest tight as the guilt began to eat him alive.

"You know what sucks the most? Out of every single one that I remember...I can't remember her....what I did...what I always do."

Bucky began to walk away, and Steve turned to look at him wistfully and with exasperation. Calling Bucky's name, the man didn't even turn towards Steve, and Steve couldn't help but to sigh and place his hands on his hips. Natasha's voice made Steve turn to her, his gaze sad and upset.

"He's gonna need time, Steve. This wasn't great news for him to hear, you know."

Natasha was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed as she regarded Steve with an expressionless face; her eyes betraying her worry. Steve shook his head, crossing his arms and running a hand over his face.

"I know. I just...I wish he knew that he didn't have to go through this alone."

Natasha was quiet for a moment before she observed.

"You tend to want to insert yourself into his problems a lot. Even if you're coming from a good place, Steve, this is something that Bucky is going to have to do alone."

Steve looked conflicted, staring down at his feet for a few moments before Natasha pushed herself off of the wall to walk back inside, adding.

"Don't push him, Steve. You're just gonna make him runaway again...and he won't come back this time."

Once Steve was left by himself, his shoulders fell, and Steve became lost again; feeling as though his friend was falling through his fingers once again.

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STORY NOTES: The scene opens with Bucky's point of view. While Bucky knows that Wanda is controlling his emotions and mind and is appreciative of the silence, he also is very upset that she is doing this. Bucky makes the correlation between Wanda's mind control and being trapped in his own mind when he was the Winter Soldier. Wanda apologizes to Bucky for having to control him, and Bucky, being petty, snaps that Wanda is 'no better than everyone else' in believing that he would revert back the Winter Soldier at any given moment.

Despite his words having the intention to hurt her feelings, Wanda does not seem to react him. Instead, Wanda explains that everyone was worried about him having a breakdown because of the revelation of the Winter Soldier having a part of Project Achilles, and Bucky becomes distraught at the reminder. Bucky is firm that his feelings are his choice, but he understands that Wanda is just trying to help. Bucky further adds that this revelation is something that Bucky has to work through on his own.

Bucky begins to have a flashback about Rollins when he thinks of the man. He remembers how the man stood by and watched as Brock Rumlow sexually assaulted him for the fun of things, and Bucky is instantly horrified and ashamed when he realizes that Wanda is still able to see into his mind. Wanda, however, is understanding and reassures Bucky that HYDRA will never hurt him ever again. Bucky, however, is already spiraling. Sensing this, Wanda allows Bucky to have complete control, and Bucky immediately retreats to a quiet and empty part of the quinjet.

Bucky begins to cry, thinking about how he understands exactly what (Y/n) is going through and what we went through, but is struggling with the knowledge that he had helped HYDRA capture her before she was able to escape with Doris. Bucky suddenly remembers what Sam had told him about how (Y/n) had Bucky to make sure she 'doesn't fall back into that place,' and Bucky begins to question his authority on the ability to help her. He begins to think about the possibilities that would occur once (Y/n) finally remembers everything, and he is certain that (Y/n) will hate him.

He begins to relapse, thinking that he will never be escape HYDRA, and he struggles with the fact that he is unable to remember (Y/n) and when Wanda comes to inform him that the team has arrived back in Wakanda, Bucky begs Wanda to make him remember. Wanda, however, refuses and tells Bucky that he has to remember on his own. Bucky becomes frustrated, and Wanda adds that even though Bucky can't change the past, he can change the future. Moreover, (Y/n) has a better chance of understanding him instead of blaming him, and that neither of them are alone in this matter.

When Bucky doesn't respond, Wanda reveals that the Avengers are planning on taking Rollins to a secure part of the kingdom and that (Y/n) is upset that Bucky left for the mission. Bucky is surprised by this, and Wanda elaborates that (Y/n) wasn't told about the mission. She tells Bucky that (Y/n) is under the impression that Bucky found Rollins in order to give (Y/n) back to him, and that (Y/n) needs to hear it from Bucky that it was never the plan in the first place. Bucky refuses, stating that he isn't sure if he can face (Y/n), and Wanda reassures him that he doesn't have to, but to think about it.

After waiting a moment once Wanda leaves, Bucky finally leaves the quinjet to be greeted by Steve. Steve reveals that he thinks the best course of action is to take him off of (Y/n)'s rehabilitation program, and Bucky is offended. He accuses Steve of thinking that he can't handle it, and though Steve tries to disagree, Bucky is set in his opinion. Bucky reveals his frustration out of not being able to remember this particular incident, and Bucky walks away from Steve. Although Steve tries to call after him, Bucky ignores him, and Steve becomes upset. Natasha suddenly appears and tells Steve that he needs to give Bucky time to himself, and Steve replies that he doesn't want Bucky to do it alone.

Natasha reprimands Steve, telling him that he needs to stop trying to control Bucky, stop inserting himself where he can in Bucky's problems, and to stop pushing him. She tells him that Steve is going to make Bucky run away before she leaves back inside, leaving Steve by himself to begin thinking about his actions. End scene.

TRANSLATIONS:

None

TAGLIST: @tilldeathripsusapart @vicmc624 @mgchaser @aash3 @samfunko @seventeen-x @valckenaux @babybeeelle @sc4rrc @cjand10 @bane-y-zane @notsostrangerthing @thenameswinter99

[ashtheketchum]

●Magic water pt.01●

Senku Ishigami X FEM.Reader

Summary: The village wants to take a break after all the hard work. So Senku creates some "magic water", also called alcohol.

Warnings: +18 CONTENT, FEM.Reader, mention of alcohol, missionary, VIRGIN Reader, VIRGIN Senku, no love just sex

A/N: I was gone for a long time and I´m very sorry :`D But now I come back and I also try something new! (Daryl is still in my heart and he will come back, don´t worry <3) Soooo, I hope you all like some anime content :3

Words: 3,1k

PART 2!!!

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PoV Senku:

I sat in my bed with a pounding headache. Well, if you could call it a bed, it was just a blanket and a pillow on the floor. God, my arms felt heavy and I felt sick. What the hell was wrong with me yesterday? And what the fuck was going on in the night?

When I looked around, I saw that I was in my house. Everything was quiet outside, my workers- uhm, I mean the rest of the villagers were still asleep. On the floor next to us, there were a few jugs on the floor and my clothes too. Holy Einstein, it looked like there was a huge tornado here. But what I found particularly strange was that there were other clothes lying next to my clothes. "What the…?"

At that exact moment, I felt someone snuggling up to my arm. I jumped briefly before looking down at (Y/N). She was lying naked next to me, with bite marks on her neck and shoulders and her hair all messy. She was sleeping soundly, breathing calmly and snuggled up in a second blanket. It didn't take long before I put two and two together and my face turned bright red. To be sure, I pulled the blanket off me and by Einstein, my guess was right! Damn-!

<Review>

PoV (Y/N):

Senku had forced us to work again. Well, what does "forced" mean? We enjoyed working for him, but sometimes he seemed to feel too powerful. And today was no different. Due to an accident, we ran out of alcohol, and now we had to quickly make some ourselves. A few villagers had wished for a nice evening after all the success we'd achieved. The Science Kingdom was getting bigger and stronger, and soon we'd be able to really kick that Tsukasa's ass. But understandably, we all wanted a break, an evening of just having fun, and Senku took this request to heart. Maybe he wasn't such a bad person after all.

"(Y/N), you're staring again," I heard Kohaku whisper to me. My cheeks immediately turned bright red and I looked away from Senku. Kohaku had to see everything too… "Let me…" I muttered quietly to myself, which only made Kohaku smile. "Oh man, you really couldn't have picked anyone better, could you? Why Senku, what's so great about him?" Kohaku asked me. To be honest, I didn't really have an answer and if I did, I could probably talk for hours about how great Senku was. But I didn't want to do that. So I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay, that should be enough! Now we shake the liquid into a giant bucket!" we heard Senku shout loudly. Kohaku and I just nodded in agreement before each taking a container and shaking the entire liquid into a giant bucket. Before we could even ask what it was all for, Senku sent us away. We knew what alcohol was, but we'd never watched it being made. We just weren't interested. "I have to focus on this. If one thing goes wrong, all this work will have been for nothing!" Senku said. I just nodded at him and turned to leave. But behind me, I heard Kohaku talking to him. She was asking him what exactly his plan was, and I couldn't help but feel jealousy.

I knew Kohaku and Senku didn't want anything from each other, but I was still jealous. I was jealous of Kohaku for being able to talk to Senku so easily. I could only stand quietly next to Senku, listen to him, nod, or shake my head. It frustrated me, it frustrated me so much. But inside I hoped that tonight everything would be better.

After several days, we had prepared a huge table in the village, full of food and empty cups. We were all waiting for the alcohol we had been anticipating and preparing for days. While we had alcohol here too, we had never drunk the kind we had back then. "(Y/N), go help Senku carry the magic water!" Chrome called to me. Confused and a little nervous, I nodded to him before walking to the bridge. On the other side of the bridge, I saw Senku trying to lift the huge bucket. He was having a lot of trouble, you could see it.

So I went over to him, giggling. "Do you need help?" I asked him. My voice made him look up and hum quietly. A little sweat ran down his forehead. "Oh, (Y/N)… yes, that would be nice," he murmured quietly and knelt down again. With a nod, I went to the other side, knelt down as well and then we both lifted the bucket. Senku groaned briefly before we slowly walked over the bridge. "I wanted to thank you…" I suddenly blurted out. When Senku looked at me confused, I turned bright red again and looked away from him. "Thank you? For what?" he asked again. "N-n-well, for…! Y-you're treating us to this evening…" I murmured quietly. Senku just remained silent before nodding. "No problem," he finally said.

After we carried the bucket over, we placed it next to the table and opened it. I immediately saw the wonderful liquid; it was definitely a very dark color. "The alcohol isn't like the old-world kind… but we don't want to get too drunk," Senku explained. He loved explaining scientific things, even when no one was listening. "It'll definitely taste good," I said, as I took the first empty cups and filled them with alcohol. The first few people came over to take the cups from me and distribute them. But the children didn't get any.

Within moments, we were all drunk, which was hard to tell. Our cheeks were bright red, we were slurring our words, we were more honest, and we were also a bit clumsy. Chrome and Ginro were half-lying on the table, snoring loudly, while Kohaku and I were just discussing something. "You know… y-you should talk to Senku…" Kohaku suddenly suggested. I hiccupped loudly before looking at her uncertainly. Then I glanced briefly at Senku, who was also sipping alcohol, but he seemed relatively sober. "S-sure…?" I asked uncertainly. Even though I'd probably had several cups of alcohol by now, I still wasn't brave enough to confess my feelings to Senku.

"Just do it!" and with these words Kohaku pushed me towards Senku. Startled, I stumbled a little before I cleared my throat and walked towards Senku. My heart was pounding in my throat, but somehow I felt dizzy. As if everything around me didn't exist. As if there was only Senku and me. "S-senku…!" I then called, even though I wasn't even close to him. We were at least ten steps away from each other. But the scientist heard me and looked up. Our eye contact remained firm until I stood in front of him and took a deep breath. "I-I want to… w-get away from you…!" I then stuttered. Senku mumbled something to himself briefly before he stood up, cracked his neck briefly and then nodded. "Yes, okay…"

We walked over the bridge to his lab, which was also his house in a way. He had a hammock in his lab, but I could imagine that he hardly slept. Sometimes he had such big bags under his eyes that I thought he was going to drop dead. But Senku had himself really well under control. "So?" his voice pulled me out of my brief trance and I flinched. Then I slowly turned to him, he looked a little bored. But I could also see a slight red shimmer on his cheeks. Was he drunk too? He looked so calm… "II… I just wanted to tell you that I…" my voice kept faltering as I suppressed my slurring. I felt a little uncomfortable speaking so unclearly.

"I-I think you're really hot!", I suddenly blurted out. But my expression changed to one of shock. Why did I say that so suddenly, was I stupid!? Damn it, what had that magical water done to me!? "You… uhhh…" came Senku's quiet reply. He seemed pretty overwhelmed and his cheeks took on a slight red tinge. Did the magical water work on him after all?

Swallowing nervously, I slowly walked towards him until I was standing right in front of him. Senku just looked down at me before grabbing my arms. "(Y/N), I don't think that-!", before Senku could reply, I pressed my lips against his. I could also taste the magical water on his lips, and coupled with the kiss, I felt even drunker. But instead of Senku pulling away, he returned my kiss even more deeply. When I gasped in surprise, he pressed his tongue into my mouth and I felt like my head was spinning, just like the whole world. Our tongues played around each other before Senku pulled back and we both panted heavily. "S-senku-!" "Well… I have to…", I didn't understand him any further, as Senku led us both to his hammock.

"Take that off…" Senku murmured softly against my lips. A cold shiver ran down my spine before I nodded and took off my clothes. While I was taking them off and holding the clothes in my hands, Senku had laid a blanket on the floor and a pillow. My insides were tingling. He was preparing everything to perform the act of love with me.

I had read about it in a book before. Children are created when a man injects his sperm into a woman and the sperm then penetrates her egg. It sounded scary somehow, but we had so many children in the village that it couldn't be that bad. So I pulled myself together.

While I was lost in thought, Senku had also taken off his robe. I looked at his body with greedy eyes. Although he had no stamina and was a complete failure at sports, Senku was really well built. I licked my lower lip briefly before throwing my robe somewhere and walking towards him again. In the background I heard something fall to the floor, but I ignored it and so did Senku. Although he only dropped it, he didn't hesitate for a second to press me into the blanket and kneel over me. His red eyes scanned my entire body up and down until he finally stopped at my middle. His gaze was so intense that I had to press my legs tightly together, but Senku stopped me by grabbing my thighs and spreading my legs.

"Stay like that… I want to be able to see everything…" he murmured quietly, but seemed to be far too focused. It almost seemed as if he wanted to examine my body. But before I could say anything, Senku lowered his head and licked my middle. He hit some spot that made me gasp immediately. "O-oh, Senku…!" I gasped loudly. My reaction made Senku look up before he let out a small "I see…" But my head felt far too foggy to notice anything exactly. I only felt the incredible feeling that Senku gave me.

Again and again he licked that one spot that made my insides contract and made me moan. My hands stroked the blanket that was beneath me before going to Senku's hair and grabbing him. I greedily pressed him closer to my lip, which made the brilliant scientist moan. His moan made me arch my back and I gasped again. Slowly I propped myself up on my elbow to look down. But before I could even see what Senku was doing to make me feel so good, he pulled away from me again and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Lie down…" he murmured quietly, his voice a little rougher and deeper. My body immediately shook, but I nodded immediately and lay down again.

Senku rested his arms next to my head and looked down at me. His eyes, which usually shone in the sunshine, were very dark and seemed much more intense. When he lay down between my legs, I swallowed hard as I felt his penis against my abdomen. However, it didn't seem hard yet, at least not completely. "I guess… you've never had anything like this before?" Senku asked quietly. In response to his question, I just shook my head. "No… b-but you haven't either, have you…?" In response to my question, Senku also shook his head. So neither of us had ever had an experience like this before. So it would be the first time for both of us.

"Will it hurt…?", my voice was quiet, uncertain and hesitant as I asked this question. Although Senku had never had it before, I hoped that he had an answer to my question. Like always. Senku always had an answer. "… I don't know… probably…", Senku whispered quietly. Before I could reply, his penis was already pressing against my center and I had to gasp sharply. We both looked down briefly before Senku looked deep into my eyes. While we maintained eye contact, he pushed his half-hard member into me. "Fuck…", Senku cursed quietly the deeper he sank himself. There was a stronger red glow on his cheeks.

"S-senku…!", an unpleasant feeling spread in my abdomen and I held on tightly to his arms. My legs were shaking and, to be honest, I didn't know where to put them. Or whether I should stretch them out. Swallowing hard, I finally decided to simply spread my legs further so Senku could press his pelvis more firmly against mine. Whimpering softly, I squeezed my eyes shut while Senku buried his face in my shoulder. Only in a daze did I notice that he was biting my skin. "T-that's… not what I expected…" I heard Senku whisper softly. Before I could reply, Senku grabbed my legs, wrapped them around his hips and then slowly moved inside me.

I could still feel the slight pain, but when Senku started to move, the pain quickly faded. I could even feel his member getting harder inside me. Soft moans and gasps escaped me, Senku growled softly against my skin and moved a little faster. My grip on my legs tightened, as did his bites into my skin. My own hands ran down his back and through his hair, never staying in one place. ,,S-senku…! That feels… incredible…~!" I moaned softly, gently tugging on his hair. This made Senku look at my face. His expression showed pure lust and desire.

His cheeks were very flushed, his eyebrows were slightly knitted together, and his mouth was slightly open. A few loose strands of hair hung in his face, making him look even hotter. "Surprisingly… very good…" Senku agreed. Then he moved his pelvis even faster, the slapping of our skin getting louder, just like my moans. If I wasn't so drunk, I probably would have worried about being heard. But that was the last thing on my mind at the moment. While I was moaning, panting, and whimpering loudly, Senku only let out quiet growls or moaned quietly once or twice. It was almost as if he was completely focused on me and wanted to hear everything.

After several minutes of just looking deeply into each other's eyes and giving ourselves over to each other, I felt my lower abdomen contract. It felt strange, almost wrong, but my desire didn't pass for a second. Since I didn't know what this feeling was, I gently pulled on Senku's hair. The scientist had closed his eyes to better surrender to the feeling, but when he felt me ​​pulling on his hair, he opened his eyes. "I-I have… a-a strange feeling inside me~…" I moaned quietly. Senku immediately stopped moving and looked at me confused and curious. "What kind of feeling? Where do you feel it?" he asked me curiously. He looked me up and down before his eyes landed on mine again. "I-it feels like… my insides are about to burst… M-my stomach…" I murmured quietly. At my answer, Senku sighed quietly, but then nodded and buried his face in my shoulder again. He had already bitten it raw, just like my neck.

"Everything's okay…~," Senku moaned softly and moved inside me again. His thrusts had become a little more irregular and sloppy. Heavy panting and breathing escaped him as he began to sweat profusely. "I-is everything okay~…?" I asked quietly, trying my best not to be too loud. But Senku just nodded and kissed my cheek. This made my heart beat even faster than it already was. "Yes, I~…! Ah, fuck~… I'm just about to come~…", his answer made me pause briefly in confusion, but I ignored it. It was probably some kind of speech I still had to learn. So I just nodded so as not to ruin the mood. "I-me too~…" I said quietly.

After three more thrusts, the oppressive feeling in my abdomen burst and I moaned loudly. Senku gasped in shock before he pulled out of me and shot his sperm onto my stomach. I immediately let my head fall into the pillow and I breathed heavily. His sperm literally burned on my skin while Senku fell next to me. "That was... incredible..." I sighed loudly and grinned broadly. Unbelievable! I had sex with Senku! I couldn't be happier right now!

"Yes, but… I imagined sex to be much more… annoying…", Senku muttered quietly before grinning triumphantly. Then he took his robe and wiped the cum from my stomach. Then he threw it in a corner, turned to me and closed his eyes. "Sleep… your body needs it…", Senku just muttered before we both fell silent. But I was far too excited to even think about sleeping! Or so I thought… because within a few seconds I was fast asleep.

<Present>

PoV Senku:

Damn, I never thought I would go this far with (Y/N)! But I had to admit to myself… that sex felt incredibly good. Not love, love was still a very strange feeling for me, but sex felt incredible! Maybe I could have sex with (Y/N) more often… she certainly wouldn't mind.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Writing prompt: death wants to retire

Thanks for the prompt! This sentence is a link to a video where you can watch me write it in real time!

I thought it'd be fun to record myself writing. Partially to keep myself focused, partially because I watch a lot of people play video games for background sound and I was like, "I can do that but nerdier," and partially because I thought other people might like writing along. We can all do one big asynchronous writing sprint together. It's available for free over on the Cracked Spines patreon, which seemed like the least intimidating way to post a 45 min video of me, alone, doing a creative work. It's like a lofi ASMR video. I talk very softly. I cannot stress how asleep everyone else in the house was while I did this.

I wrote the story below in about fifty mins. I wrote most of it by hand in thirty minutes. That's the video. Then I typed up what I wrote here, did some minor edits, and then actually tried to reach any conclusion. The ** below marks where the writing originally ended. I tried to stay true to the idea of free-writing by hand, so I just put down words and powered ahead.

First there was nothing. Then there was something. Then there was Brittany. In the name of efficiency, I am skipping over a few eons between my creation and Brittany's.

She wasn't a bad person. People who believe certain people should die young wouldn't have said she deserved such a fate. No one deserves anything. I am not a matter of morality. A quick survey of any tragedy will tell you such, and there has never been any shortage of tragedy to study.

She died in her bathroom. A lot of people die in the bathroom. That sounds undignified to those who care about such things, but I personally find the concept of dying at all anywhere from anything mortifying. It has never seemed to make much a difference what room of your house sees your end. Still, we must cater (or at least, I occasionally chose to cater) to the tender sensitivities of mortals. Especially those who have just learned how mortal they are.

"Can I please just pull up my pants?" what remained of Brittany asked me. The container than had once enclosed her was slumped face-down on the tile floor. The position looked like it would feel uncomfortable if the body had the capacity to feel.

"No," I said.

"Please?"

"It's not a matter of permission. I have no power to affect the physical world. Neither do you."

Brittany bent down and passed her hand through her corpse a few times. Humans never just believe you. "What if my unfinished business leads me to become a ghost? Do I get ghost powers? Can ghost powers do anything here?"

"There is not such thing as ghosts."

For the first time since I informed her that she was dead, Brittany looked surprised. "Then what am I right now?"

"A soul."

"How is that different from a ghost?"

"The idea of a ghost is that after a person has left their body, something of them remains behind."

"Which I am, right now," she said.

"You're not. I am getting you. After this, I will take you. There can never be such a thing as a ghost because I do my job."

"Every time?" she asked.

"Always."

"What about everyone else who died at the same time I did?"

"I am talking with them as well." I paused. "Most of them have already moved on."

"Sorry that my death is slowing you down." She did not sound sorry. Humans say things like that sometimes.

"It is not. Nothing slows me. Nothing stops me. This moment between us will never be longer than a moment."

Through force of habit, Brittany tried to check her phone. Because the habit was so deeply ingrained, she succeeded. Now separate from the imposed frame of the physical world, everything she was and had right now was whatever her mind could conceive it to be. "When did I die?" she asked, looking at the clock.

"You didn't at the precise moment that we are talking. You will never get another moment."

She kept looking down at her phone, though she didn't seem to see it. "I guess that's okay," she said at last. "Who wants to see their roommate find their dead body? God, do you think she'll even be sad?"

Insomuch as I can, my form being what it is, I shrugged. I did not have experience with aftermath. By definition, by the time it arrives, I am gone. "Come," I said.

"Hmm," she replied. "What if--hear me out--what if--"

"There is nothing you can do to rearrange your corpse."

"That's not what I'm asking."

I knew that. She was making her boring request. I received it more often than a human mind can conceive, and each time the person requesting it thought they might be the exception.

"No," I said.

"C'mon."

"Compelling argument."

"I'm not saying forever!" Brittany protested. "Just--not right now. A little more time."

"You may remain in this moment for as long as you see fit," I said. "Then, you will go."

"Do you stay with me the whole time?"

"Yes."

Brittany made an expression that a less detached manifestation of the universe might have found insulting. "So I can spend forever in this exact unchanging moment in time, stuck in the bathroom where I died on the toilet, with the Angel of Death who keeps tapping their foot and checking their watch."

Reader, I possess neither feet for a watch. This is one of the many ways in which Brittany Park misrepresented the situation.

"You are dead," I reminded her.

"But I don't want to be!" She threw up her hands. They were already less hand-shaped than they'd been when we'd first started talking. She was forgetting the shape she used to inhabit. It would not be long now.

"Please," she asked.

**There is no construct in all of creation that has been pleaded to more than I. Once--when I was just formed and new to the concept of myself, when the something that came out of the nothing had just realized that everything eventually ended--begging affected me more. You cannot let such appeals hold sway. As I told Brittany, this was not a matter of permission. She was asking gravity to not pull her down to earth. If gravity felt guilt, what use did that serve anyone?

"No one escapes death but Death," I told her.

She brightened up suddenly. "Okay! Then how do I become Death?"

No time passed in the forever moment we inhabited. If time had passed, you could have said there was an inordinately long pause that followed this statement.

"I am Death," I reminded her.

"Sure," Brittany said flippantly. "But like, forever?"

She completed the dying process shortly after this conversation. It was inevitable. Liquid water does not hold its shape when the vessel that contained it breaks. When she forgot herself entirely, when she could no longer conceive of the division between that which was her and that which was everything else, I swept her gently into my coin purse. Across the world, across the universe, across a vast endlessness that ate even now at the nothingness from which everything had emerged, I performed the same function for uncountable organisms on every scale of existence. I reaped a microbe. I reaped a star. I reaped Brittany. And the work continued, unchanged, as it had been unchanged since the beginning, as I had been unchanged since the distant agony of my first death, when I decided what I did could never again be allowed to hurt so deeply.

And yet I keep hearing the question: forever? She had said it the same way she had said, "C'mon." An appeal to my reason. Asking me to admit what we both knew was obvious, what we both knew was ridiculous. Forever? I am what I am forever?

The answer is in the affirmative. Anything else would be impossible. Humans enjoy pondering the counterfactual. I have never seen any reason to concern myself with more than what is. I will forget the words in time, as I have undoubtedly forgotten others like it. If the thought seems to linger, then there has simply not been enough time. I can wait. I have forever.

[billthedrake]

LINEAGE (PART THREE)

I stirred in bed and heard Braden shuffle on the other side of the mattress. My son wasn't a morning person, and now that Bill Jr. was 4, Brade really preferred to sleep in. I loved to let him, and on weekdays I'd fix breakfast for Junior and get him ready and off to preschool on my way to work.

I would let my son-husband sleep in on Saturday, too, but we now had this ritual.

"Hmmm..." I heard his deep morning voice growl as his thickly muscled body scooted over to mine, resting his strong arm on my chest. Braden always had a great body, but he'd spent the last few years dedicating an hour at the gym on most days and I found myself married to a 28-year old who could be a freakin' porn star.

I always woke up with morning wood, like clockwork, but the warmth and body contact had me raging hard.

"Morning, babe," I said, kissing his forehead and running my hand along the knotted tricep.

"What time's tee time?" I heard his groggy voice ask.

"8:30," I said.

"Goddamnit," Braden said. He made a point never to curse around Junior, which meant when it was just us, his sailor mouth was in full force. "Fucking Fiedler."

I chuckled. My son and I had become good friends with both of the Dr. Fiedlers, Adam, father, and son Todd, and we often did double dates. There was the bond of being incest couples and the shared experience of navigating parenthood in that context. While both were "Dr. Fielder" to me, Braden used Fiedler to refer to his doctor, Todd, while he called the dad Adam.

"My golf date is with both of them," I said. "With a new fourth. Todd says he found another man in a relationship like ours."

That woke Braden up. "Yeah?" he asked, looking at me to see if I was on the level. Brade no longer had a buzz cut but his hair was short and thinning already. In the morning it was matted down in a sexy bed head way.

I nodded, patting his side. "He was cagey about the details, but I don't think he was bullshitting me."

"Wow," my son said. "That would be incredible." We both craved to connect to other father-son couples, Braden especially. Incest was amazing, but a lonely experience.

Braden's hand traveled down slowly from my chest over my furry stomach. I didn't have my son's six pack, nor his thick muscle, but I kept trim and in shape for 45. Brade seemed to love what I had going on.

Particular a few inches lower. I grunted when I felt his strong fingers circle around my prick.

"That feels nice, buddy," I hissed.

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah. Always does."

"I love this cock, Dad," my son said. "It fucking made me."

That dick surged in his fist. Even if we had a ritual, it never got old. To the contrary.

I looked Brade square in the eye as I lay back and let him stroke me. "It made Junior, too."

"Aw fuck!" Braden grunted. That was the button to push all right. He pounced forward for a kiss. He tried to take charge of it, but I battled back with my tongue. I won that battle, but otherwise my son was in charge, climbing on top of me. Braden was four inches shorter than me but with his brawn I definitely had that pleasant feel of his weight on top.

We made out as Brade kind of humped and writhed.

"Let me drive, today, Dad?" he hissed.

"You got it, Sport."

This was going to have to be a quickie. Bill Jr. would probably wake soon and while our son probably could content himself watching cartoons on his ipad, as a married couple you have to find the private moments when you could take them.

We had a discreet container for our lube next to the bed, and I watched Braden's thick muscle flex as he reached over to pump a good bit out. For longer sessions, we didn't use so much, but for a quick entry, my son loved a super slick cock.

I was gonna be really frickin' wet, I realized, as that palm wrapped around my phallus once more.

Braden was horny but more in his quiet, relaxed early morning way. And maybe lost in thought. "The new guys..." he asked. "You think the dad is the top or bottom?"

"Dunno, Brade," I said. "Some guys are both. Or neither, I suppose," I answered.

Braden didn't comprehend that. He'd told me that for him sex was about being penetrated, or getting me to cum. Maybe if he'd been more vers, he could have talked me into switching things up, but I loved being his father that way. Dad on top. Being the breeding stud for my Brade.

Still, I knew some men were wired differently, like the Fiedlers.

Braden settled over my lap, looking down and bracing one hand on the headboard of the bed as his other reached behind to guide my cock into place.

"You're horny, Dad," he said.

I nodded. "It's been a couple of days, buddy."

"I know," he said. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," I said, running my hands along his thighs. Brade had really been hitting leg day. "We get sex when we can."

Brade got a shyly playful look on his handsome face, as he wiggled his hips back on to my dick, nudging his hole into place. "It's gonna be even trickier when the next one is born."

This was frequent with me and my son. Talking about impregnation and procreation, talking about the family we were raising and the sons we were going to sire.

But this was more than sex talk, I knew. Brade was feeling me out. "You itching to get knocked up again, Brade?" I grunted. This was sex talk, and real talk, and the fact they were one in the same was getting to me.

He pushed himself down. Even with out experience, Braden's experience, his kind of quick entry was tough for him, but he relished the way my slickness meant he was being bored with a few inches of dad cock. He winced but his cock twitched and bounced from his crotch.

We were incest fucking once more, like we could never get enough of.

"So ready, Dad," Braden hissed. "Whenever you're ready, Dad, just tell me and I'll stop taking those fucking pills."

I loved the tight hot feel of Braden's guts clenching my prick and descending down. "We'll talk about it, OK?" Real talk and sex talk could collide, but Braden and I were going to make the next pregnancy a planned one, decided in a sober conversation, not while fucking.

"Of course, Dad," he said, maybe a little too loud. Jesus, he was gonna wake Junior.

He rode me slowly, sensually. His goal was to relax his hole and his insides, but it also felt amazing on my lubed dick, like I was being slowly jacked.

"But say the word and I'm ready.... I wanna be so fucking fertile for you, Dad."

I gripped his hips now and pumped in. Ready or not, I need to actively fuck my son.

"Yes!" Braden hissed. It was intense for him, but I could tell he was imagining me planting my seed in him, my sperm fertilizing his egg.

"You're such a handsome fuck," I growled. "Love you, Sport."

"Love you, Dad. Oh shit!" he let go of his prick to keep from cumming. Instead he angled his upper body up to focus on taking my cock.

"I thought you were driving today, Brade," I teased, pumping up more excitedly into his ass.

"You're in charge, Dad. Fucking take me."

"I am..." I grunted. I was so close, and this was one of those fucks where I was riding the edge of orgasm without topping over. "Can't wait to knock you up, kiddo."

"Please dad. Impregnate me."

"Make another incest baby?" OK, I was getting real close now. My hips were thrusting gaster.

"Hell yeah, Dad. How many grandkids do you want?"

Something about those words but also the tone in which Brade said them had me coming, hard. I held onto his hips in a vice grip and fired several jets of my cum into his guts.

Excitedly, Brade gripped his bone and tugged and like that I was getting showered with my son's seed. It had been a while since he'd ridden me and I enjoyed the novelty of a Braden cum shower.

We kissed, softly, catching our breath and letting our heart rate come back to normal.

Our shower together was efficient and quick. I had to get to the golf course, and the sex had taken longer than I expected.

***

This was our way of maintaining a healthy balance as parents and as a married couple. Saturday was my own personal day for me-time, which in good weather meant playing golf. On Sundays, Braden got to do his own thing, which usually meant hanging out with his buddy Jackson, either going off to do some outdoor or athletic thing, or just watching football.

The Fiedlers sometimes played golf separately, but on Saturdays, both Adam and Todd were there in their knit shirts and shorts. Adam was an incredible golfer, whereas Todd had the power swings that could either make for a great game or a lousy one. I was a decent player but mostly enjoyed the game and the break from the routine of work and parenting. And I'd enjoyed bonding with the Fiedlers.

I related to Adam and Todd in different ways, but with either man... well, we'd opened up a lot. Guy talk, discussing the emotional side of married life, particularly in an incest couple, and even frank talk about our sex lives. With anyone else it would feel like a betrayal of trust with Braden, but I knew these guys would keep anything private, and I knew a lot about them. I had no one else to talk to, and maybe it's something a man needs.

Sure, there was some sexual tension, too, but we channeled that into crude jokes and double entendre, without danger of slipping into anything more.

When I got to the club house, I saw the fourth in our party. He looked to he a high school kid, until I got closer and figured he was closer to 19 or 20. About 5'8" with a compact body.

"Hey," came the voice. Adult but very young sounding, like a frat dude rushing at university.

"Bill Drake," I said, offering my hand to shake it.

"Jeff Connors." He smiled but seemed nervous.

Adam Fiedler patted my shoulder. "Bill's part of our special fraternity, Jeff... you can be free around him."

"Yeah?" the young man asked excitedly. But maybe feeling out of his element.

I nodded. "I don't know what these men have shared, but yes." I was nervous too, but something about Jeff's shyness brought out my protective side. I looked over at Todd. Dr. Fiedler. "I guess we got all morning to get acquainted."

My doctor grinned. "Especially cause you get to ride in the cart with him, Bill. Dad's upset he doesn't get to flirt with the dude."

Adam gave a hearty laugh. "Todd told me to be on my best behavior."

The younger doctor gave a mock-annoyed look. "Come on, Dad. You're teeing off first."

***

The first hour was a lot of small talk. Jeff was a college freshman, rising sophomore, home for the summer. My guess that he was a fraternity man was a good one, and in most ways young man Connors seemed like a typical college kid. Into partying but also finding himself and his goals in life. Kind of goofy in his humor but naive and serious about the world, too.

It was after the tenth hole, when he opened up. We'd gotten into the cart after a long drive. I pulled off and I heard him say softly. "Dad doesn't want me talking about things with anyone else, but I feel like was gonna explode if I kept it all inside you know?"

I looked over at him. I almost patted his knee but felt that would be appropriate. "Your dad has a point, but I know how you feel, buddy."

He smiled, a nervous but genuine smile. "Thanks, Bill. You, um..."

I could tell he thought it was too wild to ask. I leaned into the trust of the situation and wanted to show Jeff he could trust me. "I've been with my son Braden for ten years... been married for seven of them."

The frat dude's face lit up. "Wow! That's amazing."

"I think so," I said. "I'm a very happy, very lucky man."

Jeff hesitated. "Like Dr. Fiedler."

"In more ways than one," I said. And seeing that Jeff wasn't following I added, "Brade and I have a son. Together." I felt proud to make that announcement, and I remembered Todd Fiedler's tone of pride when he first mentioned how many kids they had.

"How's that?" Jeff asked. Earnest as hell.

"Amazing. Even if it cuts into the sex life some," I said with a wink.

Jeff laughed. I could tell he was arranging his crotch. "It's so crazy to talk about a father and son having sex."

I looked over. "Well you and your dad are, right?" Maybe I'd misread the whole situation.

He nodded and blushed. "Yeah. Like, um, a lot."

I laughed and Jeff laughed too. It broke the ice a lot.

I figured I could share more. "Braden and I love the idea of incest. Always gets us going."

I could tell Jeff was getting worked up. I was getting hard, too. I was wired for incest talk, and just discussing this openly was way hot.

But we kept the conversation more serious. "I'm pretty sure Dad and I don't want to have kids," Jeff said. "But we've been talking more about what a relationship would mean."

"Parenting's not easy, you both gotta be on the same page."

Jeff and I talked more, off and on, between shots, and it was amazing to see him open up and his happiness at being able to talk about incest.

I listened, but I had to speak up. "Can I give you some unsolicited advice, Jeff?"

"Sure," he said. Over two hours we'd built up a high level of trust.

"If it's going to be more than sex with your dad, if the emotional part is important... well, you need him on board, buddy. About talking to others."

"Yeah," Jeff conceded, chastised.

I now patted his knee, paternally. "It goes both ways, too. He needs to know how you feel and your need to bond with other man. He may be your dad, but he needs to listen to you, not just lay down the law."

Jeff seemed quiet as he took that in, then finally replied. "Thanks, Bill."

***

I got home to find Braden playing catch in the backyard. I don't know how much of it was Junior into baseball and football, and how much of it was Brade's natural enthusiasm in sharing that masculine rite of passage. My son was such a natural father, it was touching to watch. And to hear Junior alternate between giggling and trying to imitate his daddy's game-focus mannerisms, was endearing.

I decided then and there that it was time for another kid. To give Junior a younger brother.

***

I brought it up on Monday night. Junior was in bed by 9. Brade and I took turns make sure our son did his nightly routine and brushed his teeth. I was grateful that night, because work had been a real long, tough day for me. I sat on the couch and watched some mindless TV with the sound turned down.

Finally Braden came and sat down next to me. "Exhausting, huh?" he said with a laugh. We never bitched about parenthood, but we did bond on the work it took and enjoyed approaching the challenges with humor.

"I'll say," I replied. Then, "You up for feeling more exhausted, Braden?"

He paused as it sunk and looked at me. Then, "You saying what I think you're saying?"

I nodded. "If you're up for it. It's your body, son."

"Oh god, Dad. I'm gonna go off the pills tomorrow."

I smiled. Proud. Excited. Maybe more than a little horny. My dick was firming up. "I figure it's time for Junior to have a little brother."

"Yes, sir," Brade hissed as he scooted closer and leaned forward into my lap.

I'd never turn down a blowjob from my son, but now that he was pawing at my crotch, a started tone entered my voice. "You sure Junior's asleep?" I asked in a whisper.

"He's out, Dad," Braden said with an impish smile as he pulled down down my zipper. "But you can keep watch if you like while I suck that cock that's gonna make our next son."

I lay back and enjoyed the slowest most sensual head I could imagine. Brade was making love to my dick and my balls, and I knew what he was thinking. How he was sucking his father, tasting the dick that made him. Getting closed to the breeding power that going to knock him up once more.

I made myself be quiet, almost silent as I orgasmed, feeding Brade a huge load. This was going to be a fun, emotionally powerful month or two. Or three. However long we had to mate to get the job done. I wasn't even going soft now, not even after Brade suckled at the dribbles and kept licking.

"Bedroom, Dad?" he asked, leaning up with a wild-eyed look on his face. I could tell he was thrilled by my amped up sexual response.

"You bet, Sport," I hissed, leaning into kiss him.

[zaceouiswriting]

Fairy Prince - Hearts of Leviathans - Ch.34

Character: Sky x male reader, Riven x male reader, Brandon x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Winx Club/Saga

Warnings: Non-consensual advances

(Please welcome our beloved, golden retriever-like, loyal, maybe a little possessive guy, Brandon…I mean…Sky.)

When we finally get to the house, I ask the soldiers to let us down again. Although my new friend's knees were still pretty wobbly, she could stand mostly independently with some help.

“I give you permission to leave!” The two soldiers salute once more before disappearing into the ground and returning to where they belong.

“They were good men, weren’t they?”

I couldn't help but sigh heavily. "According to legend, they were the best in every sense of the word," I tell her, unable to hide the sadness in my voice. "Apparently, there was once a ritual where the best soldiers of each generation were sent to join the ranks of the legendary hidden military unit of the Deep Rock Legion in case we needed an army of incorruptible and fiercely loyal soldiers. But in the long run, it ruined our population. Of the ten million we had left after the orbital crash, there are now just over seven million left, and my grandfather isn't helping."

"Your grandfather? But that would mean-"

I quickly realize my mistake. Until now, everyone thought I was trying to boast about myself by calling myself a prince. But now that I've talked too much and I'm desperate to make new friends, I know I can't lie to her anymore.

“I am the crown prince of Gyonos and, therefore, its guardian fairy, the last fairy in my world after my grandfather.”

She gasped when I shared my revelation with her, and before I knew it, she had come over to me and pressed her slightly plump body against me in a way I hadn't experienced often in my life: a hug so warm that a few tears rolled from the corners of my eyes.

For the first time in ages, I feel like I can let myself be seen crying in front of someone, and maybe it's selfish, but I take full advantage of it. I cry into her head, as she is tiny compared to me. To my surprise, she doesn't walk away but stands there and speaks in a warm, comforting voice, telling me that everything will be okay in the end and how much I want to believe her words, but I know better. I have seen the truth behind people's attentions, fallen victim to the betrayal of those closest to me, and experienced death many times. I didn't cry when he died, not after I had to let him leave my arms when our posts were overrun by those monsters. I will never be able to forgive the Scallierds or forget what they did and what they forced me to do.

I hold her for what feels like an eternity. But when I finally let go of her, she looks straight into my watery eyes. Her blue-green eyes shimmer with what I can only describe as a motherly concern, a desire to be there for me emotionally, and I couldn't be more grateful.

“You should go inside, it’s late and cold,” I tell her quietly.

She smiles kindly. "You should, too. After all, you're probably just as exhausted as I am." Her voice is warm, really like a mother's.

"Sure, but I would like a few minutes to myself before I return to my personal dark world or, more commonly known, my dorm room.“

She nods understandingly, wishes me goodnight, and goes inside, leaving me under the star-studded night sky. I wait until she's gone before turning around and looking across the large, empty field into the forest beyond. I take a deep breath, raise my right hand, and see it shaking. My magical reserves feel depleted; the healing processes and summoning of those soldiers were too much for my fairy core. I need to train; I can't even fight a specialist like this without being knocked to the ground in seconds.

I feel frustration building up inside me. How could it be otherwise? I've gone from being a prodigy in magic and weapon combat to this pathetic excuse of a fairy. I would be unstoppable if only I could access the abilities contained in the crystallized cores of my ring. But how? I hold out my hand holding the ring and marvel at it. Somehow, it only looks normal now that the two cores are in it, surrounding my family's crest in its center. Many have an initial letter, but my family decided to fill it in with our entire crest, as detailed as possible in this small form, with the only exception being that the two sword-shaft-like pieces of metal always hung off the sides. I always thought that happened over the eons the ring was used, but now that the two cores are safely clammed underneath them, I realize there should be something in them. But what? If it's for magic cores, then why aren't there three? What does my family or planet have two of?

I ponder these questions for a while, only coming back to myself when a cold breeze sends a shiver through my body. This is the best time to go back inside. As soon as I step into the building, a fleeting sigh of relief comes over me. 

With my eyes closed, I enjoy the warmth heating my cold bones. But when I open them again just a minute or so later, confusion fills me. I try to reach out to protect myself, but before I can, I'm pulled off my feet, my rear end grabbed, and my front pressed against a warm, muscular body. Before I know it, my legs are wrapped around that person's waist, and we are no longer in the foyer. He carries me around until he finally forces open a door and mindlessly slams my back against a metal shelf and then my head against some boxes. A groan of pain escapes my lips as the metal stabs into my back.

But before I could react, soft lips were on mine. Shock floods through my entire being as the moment has taken me completely by surprise. My eyes widen, forcing me to stare at him. There, pressing me against the shelves and trying to push his tongue into my mouth, is Sky. I couldn't believe it. He was always so gentle and kind, but now he's carrying me around and kissing me without my consent. I try to push him away, but he feels like an immovable object, heavier than a mountain. I even punch at his rock-hard pecs as I feel myself slowly falling into him. And before I know it, our lips move in perfect harmony; my mouth even opens slightly as he grips my ass a little tighter. His tongue swallows my moan. My hands land on his back. But suddenly, I can feel him smirking against my lips, making me wonder if this is what he wanted.

My hands quickly move from his chest, where I have only shown him aggression, to his neck and pull him closer to me. What is that feeling—this warmth deep in my stomach? Or this tingling further south?

Even though hundreds of these thoughts of the strangest feelings are racing through my head, I can't let go of him. His woody smell, mixed with the sweetness of something in his mouth, intoxicates my senses. I feel the desire rising for him to continue and take what he wants.

This time, not even the thought of him and his senseless death could spoil my mood, as I feel safe and even desired in Sky's arms.

"I fucking knew it." I hear him suddenly grumble. When I open my eyes from the daze, I see Sky's blurry image, his pale face flushed and his expression serious, if not angry. When I try to say something, he pushes me roughly against the shelf, his legs pushing up. "You've wanted me since you first saw me."

I can only stare at him in confusion, but he is already kissing my neck, biting me gently, and whispering things in my ear that were dirtier than anything I'd ever heard before. Something was clearly wrong.

I hold his face in my hands and try to get him to look at me, but when he finally does, his expression turns angry. Before I know it, his hand is around my neck, his grip is tight, and he is choking me painfully.

"But then I saw you with the girl and these two huge men. I couldn't believe it! Before I could make a move, you had already gone out and found yourself some toys."

When he calls my stone soldiers "toys," my heart starts to burn. How dare he call honorable men that? He has obviously misunderstood something, but when I open my mouth to clarify, his grip on my neck tightens even further, so much so that I can hardly breathe. He seems to have lost his mind, but what can I do?

"Sky!" I barely manage to say, but he's not listening. Instead, he talks about me, telling me what a selfish wanker I am for allowing both Riven and Sky to touch me and defile my body for him. 

I can't believe the Gaul of him thinking I would stay pure for him, and then suddenly, something bursts out of him that he probably didn't want to say. He shouts out what I already suspected, namely that he and Sky have switched identities.

The fact that he lied to me for so long hits me the hardest. I thought I could trust him; after all, he always came to my cell when I was a prisoner, cleaned me, and fed me one by one to torture me like the wild animals they are, but that was obviously just wishful thinking. It makes me angrier than I probably should have been, so I turn the tables. Finally, I grab him by the neck and hope he lets go, but he starts grinning in a sinister way. It sent cold sweats down my spine to see something so vicious on the face of a man who always seemed like a puppy.

"I fucking dare you," he said through pursed lips, staring madly into my eyes, "Squeeze harder, I dare you!"

I've never felt so intimidated before. Is there something wrong with him? Suddenly, his grip on my neck tightens enough to easily snap it; no doubt there will be many bruises afterward. I have to make a decision. If he keeps this up, I will surely die.

"Brandon!" I yell, making him stop. Confusion is clear on his face, his eyes glowing with dawning realization. His hand quickly withdraws. As I gasp for air, he holds me upright, one of his hands behind my head and the other trying to protect as much of my spine as possible. He begins to apologize endlessly, like a child found with his hand in the cookie jar.

I try to breathe, but my throat burns painfully. Yet, I push against his chest again; this time, he lets me down but still holds my body upright for a minute. My body is at its limit from the rapid healing before, and the now compromised state is just too much. Thankfully, it only takes a short time before the rest of the healing magic still coursing through me at least helps to ease the swelling in my throat, just enough to let me breathe evenly.

I want to lecture him, scream at him, and let all my feelings out, but his glassy eyes tell me he's not there. Hopefully, it's just the clearly smuggled alcohol and not something more serious.

I try to get past him, but he quickly tries to hold me back. He mumbles something about me catching my breath, giving me hope that even in this situation and condition, he's still trying to help me. But it feels wrong because none of this was consensual, as if he's trying to clear his conscience of what he did to me here in this... in this supply closet.

Somehow, the place we ended up in while making out makes me feel even worse. Am I just a toy to him? Did I misjudge his personality? Is he really a player who breaks people's hearts? I feel so stupid, so silly. Why did I let this happen? I could have prevented everything, but I didn't. Why?

"Please, I- I was just so overwhelmed-"

Before he can spit out his lies, all I see is red, and anger shoots through my veins, just like it did on the battlefield. Can I control it this time? My anger had always been uncontrollable, like I was an explosion just waiting to go off. But this time, in this small room, surrounded by Brandon's intoxicating scent, it doesn't seem to be able to happen, even though my anger threatens to boil over. The overall emotions just weren't there. It was almost as if the last explosion had balanced me unknowingly out. 

But that couldn't be. How could the death of my true love be the catalyst for my anger to subside?

[Masterlist]

[cantareincminor]

Fandom Wrapped (Reader Edition) 2024!

Thanks to the wonderful @kattyelf for creating this template! Links and detailed reviews under the cut.

Disclaimer: I probably read hundreds of SxF fics in the past year, and it was not easy to choose which ones to put in the list above (or below)! This fandom is full of wonderful, friendly creators and I am so glad to be part of it. I also had to narrow it down to only the ones I read and reread in 2024, not 2022 or 2023. Finally...I also happened to read many good fics only once. Sometimes a fic is just too painful or sad to reread, especially if it's not finished.

Favorite fic and author: After peace by @unhappy-sometimes!

I could gush about unso for a whole post and not be done, but I will try to contain myself. Her fic After peace originated from an AU comic she drew where Twilight was forced to retire early due a major injury, and drifted aimlessly until WISE asked him to take care of an orphan they had rescued from Project Apple. There are several things that amazed me about this fic and cemented it in first place for 2024:

The premise. It was original and so full of potential.

How personal Twilight's journey felt to me. I didn't have a life-threatening injury, but I did put my career on hiatus in the past year and have often struggled with questions of -- what am I worth when I'm not "doing" anything? I was so used to going 150% in the rat race and coming out on top at great personal cost to health and family; even if all that was bad, how else can I get that sense of accomplishment? How can I stop wanting that sense of accomplishment?

Her style, which is both vivid AND concise. The fic was around 22K words if I remember correctly, with a well-constructed plot, character arcs, plenty of emotional beats, and a satisfying resolution. I often wonder if my writing is too verbose and when I see something like After peace, it challenges me to do better.

THIS WAS UNSO'S FIRST FIC EVER. THE HELL. It's like a freshman album that gets put up for a Grammy.

Fic(s) I reread (plus runners-up):

That Time Yor Seriously Thought About Leaving by peonydee: This is a WIP with one more chapter before completion, I believe. Peonydee's style is unique in how it's hard-hitting and disarming at the same time. Yor and Twilight find themselves in impossible situations, their relationship tested to the limit (and one of them in a close brush with death), yet there's still an undercurrent of wry humor, almost fatalistic due to the fact both of them have been steeped in death and dirty work for decades, yet still hopeful and reaching for each other. I also cackle every time she makes Twilight go off on a mansplaining tangent without ever using the term outright. A masterpiece of show not tell.

Is It Really All Right? by zyzy1083: This one is tender. A jealous!Loid fic with a fascinating portrayal of Loid from Yor's perspective. The imagery of a dark sea choking down any true thought or emotion from breaking for air will stay with me for a long time. There's also the fact she basically made up lyrics for an indie song as part of the plot and I had to ask whether it was a real song. Finally, there's the fact she was bold enough to portray Loid as less than a perfect, kind, smiley husband toward Yor, but in a believable way. He snaps at Yor at times. He loses his patience. It feels like a real relationship, in the awkward tension when one partner wants to talk and the other absolutely does not want to talk. I admire that courage and wish more authors would take that risk (calling myself out I guess!).

Green-eyed Monster by bigbruja: another jealous!Loid fic that's lighthearted and fun. This is a comfort reread. I enjoy seeing Loid recognize the threat of a supposed "old friend" of Yor's, questioning his own feelings and how far he needs to go to fend this guy off. The guy is a Garden assassin, unbeknownst to him. I also love Yor's own inner struggle of just wanting everyone to get along, but showing steel when she needs to.

dalliance by rosetintednerdglasses: this is a WIP, but it is HILARIOUS and I hope everyone will go encourage this author to pick this fic back up when they have a chance. TLDR, Twilight (in disguise) is sent on a joint mission with Thorn Princess and flips out internally when he sees it's Yor. Handler then orders him to ensure Thorn Princess continues to cooperate. So as Twilight, he has to sort-of honey trap Thorn Princess, while as Loid he has to keep Yor happy. Poor Yor believes she's torn between two different men and close to cheating on Loid! Situational hilarity all over the place, and fun world-building, like this other WISE agent randomly named "Steel Bunny" (LOL).

Not According to Plan by @kyrathel: love you girl! This is a gift fic for me, but that's not the reason I reread it (even though it's a WIP as well!). It's SO FUNNY. Twilight gets it in his overly anxious head that he MUST defend his wife from the bullies at City Hall, so what does he do? HE INFILTRATES CITY HALL AS A NEW FEMALE HIRE. The world absolutely needs more petty!Twilight! The latest chapter features laxative brownies. Enough said.

Let's start living dangerously by @beannoss: I specifically reread the later parts when dumb Twilight gets over his dumbness and finally talks to Yor! And they kiss again! I love the way huhwaku (beannoss) portrays overthinking Twilight AND overthinking Yor. And also, the simplicity of Yor at the same time. The voice she uses for both of them is refreshing, it really puts you in the mindset of the character. Yor's giggles ("teehee!") as she teases Twilight about his little perfectionist habits are a cute touch to a gentle, heartwarming fic about these two highly competent professionals just starting to take baby steps in how to be competent at a relationship.

Fic that made me emotional:

100% Perfect by @sometimesiship. Where do I begin? How about with the gut aversion I initially had to the premise of a futuristic AI dating bot AU, due to all the tragic, dark AI movies I have watched? But as it neared completion, someone convinced me to give it a try and I AM SO GLAD I DID. You can see my gushing comments in almost every chapter. The development of the relationship between human Yor and AI Loid is so natural, funny at times, poignant always, and beautifully written, even though from an objective standpoint not much exciting stuff happens (I mean canon-typical excitement like murders and spy missions). Sometimesiship has a way of describing emotion that is so raw -- she can portray the same emotion a dozen different ways with analogies and setups and dialogue and whatever -- and it still doesn't feel old. And the emotion that dominated the second half of the story was grief. Basically the grief of loving someone you know you're going to lose. Like being the spouse of a terminal cancer patient. I didn't cry while reading, but it was a closer call than I have had in a VERY long time. So much beauty and humanity in this story. And spoiler (?), it's a happy ending. So I hope you all go check it out!

That's a wrap! If you read this far, stay tuned for a Writer version of Fandom Wrapped 2024!

[fir-fireweed]

Okay I tried to contain myself but I just CAN'T I have to yap about Tellus. And a bit about Chapter 3 in general. So sorry I have so many thoughts.

One, I originally was gonna name my little ferret after him but I was like. I'm just gonna feel so depressed every time I see that name never mind. Now I have absolutely no choice but to go back and name my ferret Tellus. May the best Tellus win.

Two. As much as I know my MC probably wants nothing more than to suffocate Tellus in a hug I cannot stop thinking about how BAD this situation is. Even in the Resistenza we've been sticking to our deaf-and-mute story, Aestus promising to keep the secret...And here comes one person who definitely can dispute it. I'm pretty sure that's why Evelyn was so panicked at the end...Unless there's something she isn't telling us but. Is she going to jump in and tell a bunch of lies, forcing Tellus into the awkward position of agreeing despite the absolute emotional wreckage he's currently dealing with, or will he be inclined to deny it? How is he supposed to explain his much more emotional reaction to seeing our face over Evelyn's? Will he even bother to try?

And like. No matter if you had your MC practice with the cordis or not, this is FUCKED. If you do, you're honing a skill Tellus no longer has, probably won't ever. There's so much pain and jealousy there. But if you don't, how could you choose to let go of something so important to your people? What would Tellus give to be able to do it? And YOU could but you chose not to?

Technically, you two suffered the same loss, but you seem to have experienced it in completely different circumstances. You were out of the camp by sheer luck and didn't directly experience the slaughter. Though repression of identity is harmful and oppressive, you were able to live as a noble. But Tellus was there and one must assume he did not exactly get to live a life of wealth afterwards. I can't help but wonder if he tried to find you that night and what it may have cost him if he did...But that's just my little writer brain going.

Also. Personally as a water-attuned player, after meeting Aestus and hearing what they're wanted for...I Am Sweating. But also them calling me brave one...Weeps. I am so eager to see how all of this plays out. It's going to be a miracle that I survive between updates. But I hope you enjoy your summer to the fullest! I am done yapping now thank you for your time.

This is an ask from 2 weeks ago, lol, sorry for the delaly! I still have them all, still enjoy reading them! ❤️

And I absolutely love the yapping, feel free to yap. It helps get my gears turning.

Evelyn was partly panicked, yes, because obviously now your secret’s at risk. But she was also shocked and concerned for you. I’m not going to get into Tellus’s thoughts too much here; you’ll see how it all plays out in the next chapter! 🤗

[jinxbakugo]

My Baby

Title 》 Prologue 》 Chapter 1

Caution and Triggers: emotional angst, heartbreak and relationship issues, toxic behavior, public scrutiny, suicidal thoughts, infertility, hope and healing, comfort.

If you are not okay with any of these, please move on. I do not wish to alarm or hurt anyone.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

Prologue

Breaking News: Pop Sensation Y/n Announces Unexpected Hiatus

In a shocking turn of events, beloved pop star Y/n has announced an indefinite hiatus from her music career, citing personal and health reasons. The announcement, made via a heartfelt statement released to her fans last night, has sent waves of concern and speculation rippling through the entertainment industry. Y/n, known for her calm and collected demeanor, has always been private about her personal life, making this sudden revelation all the more surprising.

Y/n's statement read, "I need to take a break... I'm not in a good place right now." The cryptic message has left fans and media alike scrambling for answers. Is this hiatus due to her recent, highly publicized breakup with actor Satoru Gojo, with whom she shared a five-year relationship? Or is it the result of her increasingly visible health issues, which have included fainting spells and nosebleeds during concerts and interviews?

The speculation is rampant. Some sources close to Y/n suggest that the stress of her breakup and the subsequent media frenzy have taken a severe toll on her mental health. Others point to her mysterious medical conditions, which have left her looking frail and exhausted in recent public appearances. The pop star, who has always been a picture of strength and resilience, now finds herself at a crossroads, forced to confront the demons that have been quietly gnawing at her for months.

Y/n sits across from her long-time manager and best friend, Iori Utahime, in a dimly lit room, the tension between them tense. Utahime, especially with the scar that runs across her face, was never more cute, in her black vest and gray slacks. She leans back in her chair, arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes hold a mix of hurt and concern as she confronts Y/n about the announcement.

Utahime had scheduled an interview with Jimmy Fallon for his Saturday Night Live show. Y/n was exhausted, unwell, and stressed. So, during the broadcast, she confessed she needed a break from the spotlight and the crushing weight of the public.

"You didn't even tell me about this," Utahime says, her voice trembling with emotion. Her hand motioned to the black and white print Y/n held in her hand. "I had to find out from the press, like everyone else."

Y/n had always preferred the rougher type of paper as she traced the smooth edge of the print containing the article. Her mind was a million miles away. She was thinking of everything and nothing. She knows she should have told Utahime, but the weight of her decision was something she needed to carry alone for a while.

"Sorry, bestie," she murmurs, her eyes refusing to meet Utahime's. "I just needed to do this... by myself." Was there something she was keeping from her? Currently, nothing. Last night, absolutely.

Y/n was never going to be sorry for needing a break. She knew Utahime would agree with her. But something inside her told her to make the decision herself. Utahime would have gotten on her hands and knees to fill Y/n's every command... but that wasn't what she needed right now.

Utahime knows every intimate detail about her—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Y/n's past, her rise to fame, her true self, her health issues—she knows it all. Hell, Utahime might as well be her girlfriend if she wasn't already Y/n's bestie. She knows her better than that bastard, Gojo, ever did.

Satoru Gojo.

Why the hell did I ever fall for you?

The mere thought of his name sends a wave of pain crashing through her. The breakup, the suddenness of it, still feels like a fresh wound. Her heart aches, a pain that radiates through her chest. She can still remember the exact moment he told her it was over, his voice cold and distant.

The love that was once there, the future they both dreamed of, it all shattered in an instant. She should have seen it coming. One day, he was there. The next he was gone, and with him, he took her dreams of a family, of a future together. The pain of that loss is a constant ache, a void that seems impossible to fill.

Her eyes narrowed as she stared at a random point on the wall. The memories of what she wanted with him come rushing back. She wanted the white picket fence, the kids running around, the chaos, and the noise. She wanted the holidays together, the family dinners, the traditions. She wanted the late-night talks, the early-morning laughs. She wanted the good, the bad, and the ugly. She wanted it all with him.

I wanted that.

I needed that.

I fucking needed it.

And he took that all away. And she hated him for that. Her heart beats faster, frustration and anger coursing through her veins. She clenched her fists, her pretty nails digging into her palms. She had just painted them black. They had been the same shade of blue for the longest time... she couldn't stand blue anymore. Not after loving the color for so long.

She want to scream, to shout, to break something. Anything to release this pent-up emotion. She hates him for leaving her, for not fighting for her, for not choosing her. She hates him for making her feel like she was never enough. She hate him for the pain he caused, for the dreams he shattered.

Even as she thinks, with hatred flooding her veins, underneath all that, there's a deep, aching longing. A longing for the family she never had, for the chance at a normal life. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be with him. Maybe he wasn't the one.

She needed someone, despite her flaws, that would love her, every single cell in her body. Just utterly her. She wanted that. She wanted that so bad. And he took that away. He took that all away.

She took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside her. Her eyes sting with unshed tears, and she blinks rapidly, refusing to let them fall.

I will not cry for him.

I will not give him that power.

But the thought of ending it all, of making the pain stop, it's a tempting one. She imagines jumping off a bridge, the wind rushing past her as she fall, the world fading to black. No more pain, no more heartache, just peace. But even as she thinks it, she know she couldn't do it.

Because underneath all the hatred, all the anger, all the pain, there's a spark of hope. A hope for a future, for a family, for love. And she held onto that spark, no matter how small, no matter how faint. That was her lifeline. Utahime and hope. Without one... the other would fall.

"I get why you want a break," Utahime says, her voice softening as she reaches across the table, grasping Y/n's hand tightly. Her touch is warm and familiar, it brings a small sliver of comfort. Y/n feels Utahime's grip, her concern, but her mind is elsewhere, lost in the labyrinth of her own thoughts.

'Toru... Did I mean nothing to you?

Y/n feels a sharp squeeze, and her eyes meet Utahime's in the harshly lit room. Utahime is searching for an answer, and Y/n knows she deserves one. She sighs, "Sorry... I just wanted to... finish it myself."

"Well, you've certainly given them something to talk about!" Utahime exclaims, her voice rising with frustration.

"Maybe they'll stop talking now," Y/n replies, her usual cool tone a stark contrast to Utahime's emotion.

"You think this isn't going to cause more speculation?" Utahime asks, her eyes searching Y/n's.

Y/n shrugs, her tone turning icy, despite her efforts to not get anymore mad... "Then what do you suppose I do? Since I made a grave mistake of not telling you one thing."

"That's not what I'm saying, Y/n," Utahime leans in, her voice softening. "I just thought you trusted me."

"So the last 8 years mean nothing to you too?" She regretted it as soon as it left her lips. She's been on edge these past 4 months, all the pressure was building.

The room falls silent, the weight of Y/n's words hanging heavy in the air. Utahime picks the paper up, crumples it into a ball, and tosses it into the trash.

"Well... to answer your question..." Utahime starts, a huff leaving her lips. "Why not adopt a kid--" She suggests, her voice laced with a mix of anger and sadness, expecting Y/n to shut her down as she usually does when she brings this up.

But Y/n doesn't. A sudden brightness sparkles in Y/n's eyes, filled with hope and excitement. It was as if the sheer thought of getting a child brightened her spirits, like she wasn't mad barely 30 seconds ago.

Adopting hadn't crossed her mind until Utahime brought it up. The idea of adopting a child resonates with her deeply, offering a glimmer of happiness amidst her turmoil. She nods eagerly, trying to hide the pain of her infertility and the recent heartbreak four months ago.

"Yeah, that's a great idea. You know how much I love babies." Y/n says. God, she finally felt like she was worth somthing again. The thought of giving a home to someone in need ignites a fire within her, a chance to move on from her own pain and the toxic lies spread by Satoru Gojo about their breakup.

Utahime is taken aback, her eyes widening in surprise. "Huh?! You're serious?" she asks, her voice softening as she senses the genuine hope in Y/n's eyes.

Y/n nods again, more determined than ever. "If I can't have a child naturally, then I'll make it happen some other way," she declares, her voice cracking slightly with emotion. They both grow somber as Y/n mentions her infertility, the reality of her situation settling over her like a heavy blanket.

Utahime's expression softens, and she gently squeezes Y/n's hand, her thumb rubbing small circles on her skin. The afternoon sun shines through the window, casting a warm glow on her features, highlighting the concern and love in her eyes. "You know, I never wanted kids myself, but if this is what you want, then I'm here for you," she says, her voice gentle but firm. "Maybe this will help you heal," she suggests, her voice hopeful.

Y/n smiles softly. She she had already thought of that. But she didn't know what or how to find something that she could focus on... just to feel again, "Maybe it will," she replies.

"You know I'm here for you, right?" Utahime says, her voice filled with emotion.

"Hell, yeah." Y/n replies, her voice choked with gratitude. With Utahime, she can do anything. She was her best friend, has been and always will be.

Y/n grins, as she looks into Utahime's brown eyes, "You're gonna become an aunt in a few weeks." They both laugh, Y/n pats her friend's hand before drawing away, "It doesn't matter if you're blood. Your family. Always."

Their conversation takes a shift. Utahime tries to become professional, but it never sticks when they're alone together. She asks Y/n all the necessary questions of the baby she wants and gets frustrated when Y/n shrugs. Rolling her eyes, she picks up her phone and calls her assistant to find children's homes close to the city where they live.

As Utahime is busy on her phone, Y/n gazes out the window for a moment. Her thoughts leave the topic of a child. She thinks of her past relationship with Gojo. How they met... when they became friends... the flirting stage... fuck, she loved him.

Y/n had been alone for too long. All she wanted... was someone that would love her. She got that. But at what price?

She searched the sky, but there were no stars in the late afternoon glow of the sun. She sighs softly, resting her chin on her palm as she wishes on nothing:

I want a man. Not a woman, not a boy. Someone of the male sex.

Give me a man that will respect me, not use me. A man who will love me and never leave me.

I don't care if he can't speak English. I'll learn his language. I don't care if he's poor, I got plenty of money. I don't care if he's missing a limb, I'll buy him a fucking robot arm.

I wouldn't care if he's cruel, as long as he's somewhat nice to me. I wouldn't care if he's got a record, hell, if he's a mass murder either.

I wouldn't care if he's an alien.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚

Hey! Thanks for checking this out! I hope to see you here again at the Fan-Fics-R-US center.

So originally, I was thinking of posting this December, than I was like, that's too soon. So I changed it to May of next year, but now thinking about it... I'll try posting every two weeks, sometime during the weekend! Please feel free to comment! - JinxBakugo

@not-aya, here's your tag! I love your profile pic! It's so cute! I had a Shinsou phase... maybe 6-7 months ago, then I went back to the obvious... Bakugo.

Does anybody want a tag? I would be happy to oblige!

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Your Own Personal Demon

[This story contains body horror, non-consensual sexuality, and brief mentions of vomit.]

"And now all you have to do is stand in it!"

I look down at the pentagram, drawn sloppily with table salt and surrounded by freshly lit black candles. The bed had to be pushed aside to make room, the spare bedroom was the only place without a carpet where her parents wouldn't find us.

"Hey, what are you waiting for? You're the one who wanted to do this, right?" Grace says to me, clearly annoyed I haven't done as she said. I remember her being the one to breach the topic, explaining to me how fun it would be to have a volunteer, ignoring my hesitation. Susan was just on her phone, just as she was now.

I suppose I don't have a choice. I've learned many times that compliance is always the safest and easiest option.

I feel a shudder as I step inside. It's just apprehension. I'm just being scared, like she said I would be. Nothing more.

I flinch as I hear a click from Susan's direction. She's pointing her phone right at me. Every time I look at her, I can't help but think about Grace making fun of her for being too skinny. She's just a normal girl, if a bit gloomy, but that's mostly because she doesn't take her hair out of her face very often. She looks like she doesn't want to be here, like always.

"So?" Grace demands attention. "Feel anything yet?" She impatiently shifts her weight onto one side, and her blond hair bounces with her. I still don't know why so puts so much work into it, it's just hair. God, her eyes look so sharp, it... hurts.

I stifle myself, looking away and telling her it's nothing. She takes on an accusatory tone, but with an undercurrent of playfulness so nobody gets mad. "Oh, so I fucked up then?" I try not to look to uncomfortable, she's already poked fun at me too much for being a baby about swearing. "Are you sure you're standing right? Ugh, I really wanted to see something happen..."

She kicks at the outline, only for her foot to catch. The salt is solid, calcified into place. Seeing this, I try to poke at one of the lines with my sock, and it doesn't budge. Oh god, I can't let them see me actually feel worried... w-why does it keep hurting...?

Susan, closest to the door, looks back just in time to see it swing closed. With the hallway light blocked off, there's nothing but the roar of the candles lighting up the room. They're getting brighter.

This... is actually happening, isn't it? Am I going to die?

I look to the other two. I need to leave, to run, but I can't move. My legs are stuck in place, it feels like they're pinned to the ground with needles. I need help, Grace, someone...

She just takes a single step away. She looks... curious. She looks to the door, past Susan. She's not worried for me, she's just scared.

"Hey, I didn't... expect this to work." Susan speaks up. For the first time, she isn't forcing some disaffected monotone. "We need to help her, right? We should-"

Without looking away from me, she gestures to Susan. "No, no, wait..."

She's... smiling. For god's sake, she's...!

My legs buckle and I fall to my knees. This isn't pain anymore. This isn't just some vague burn in my muscles. There's something deep and disgusting welling up inside me, trying to claw its way out. I can feel the longing, the yearning to be free scraping at my chest.

I can't hold it back. I wretch and vomit, and it feels... wrong. I've vomited before, and it wasn't this... thin. It didn't taste like iron. It didn't coagulate so quickly in my mouth.

"Oh my god!" It's Susan. She says something after that, but I can't, I just can't. There's a ripping inside of me, everything shifting and fighting gnawing underneath every inch of skin. It needs to be free, it needs to be let out.

I dig, claw at my forehead, where the gnawing is worst. Scratching my skin away doesn't hurt at all, it can't compare to the depths of my soul being ripped apart. I dig my nails in and rip chucks of flesh away, feeling it peeling and clinging in strands to my face. Finally, some fucking relief. I can still feel them stretching out, fitting through my skull as comfortably as putting your arm through a sleeve. Horns. My horns.

I'm bleeding... so much. I know I just tore away at myself, but it's just gushing out, splattering at my feet and covering my skin. My face must be totally buries already, hidden by a thick layer of my own blood. I... should care more about this, but I just... can't.

The girls are saying something, but I don't care. This is serious, something is wrong. It doesn't feel wrong, but... isn't that the problem? I can already feel the same gnaw at the base of my spine, and all I can do is smile. Oh for fuck's sake, they're still talking?

"I, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never thought this would work, I never..." She's whimpering. No, she's cowering. She's the one afraid of me. "Please, God, forgive me, I nev-"

"SHUT UP."

I can't hold back, not right now, not anymore. I can't bury myself just to save the feelings of others when I already feel like I'm six feet deep. I can't swallow my pride when I feel like I'm choking. I can't...

That's wrong. I don't want to. I'm not being forced to do anything. Not anymore.

I do everything I can to stand, my joints hissing and popping with every motion. The blood still flows from me, the crimson trailing down my body like a gown.

With a single step into the world, I tower over the little blonde cunt. A head higher at least. I can't tell what face I'm making, and for the first time, I don't care.

"You're not fixing this."

I reach behind me and tear another hole, like I'm ripping a cheap whore's dress. My tail finally tastes the air, no matter how dingy and stagnant it is in stuffy-ass fuckless room. It feels like something that should've been with me the whole time, finally allowed to be free.

I grab her hair by the roots, pull her close, and tongue-fuck her mouth. I can't help but laugh at how pathetic she looks flailing under my grasp. I think she's actually gonna cry. How precious.

I spit her out and toss her on the floor. She hacks and sputters, rubbing at her mouth to try and rub the bloodstains away. I wanna tell her that she'll wish the taste never left when I'm done with her, but that's between her and whatever she prays to for now.

"You." I look at Susan, and she's petrified. She's scared of me, she thinks I can really kill her. No wonder Grace got off to fucking around with me. Not that I'm any less pissed. When I'm done with her she'll never feel big again.

"I don't care about the other bitch. You're the one who summoned me." I take a knee, letting my eyes level with hers.

"What's your first request, Mistress~?"

She's finally smiling, just like me.

[creative-kny-fics]

Hii! sooo, if requests are open, can I request lee obanai and ler giyu? I liked the ler Kaburamaru fix, so if you could make this fix a second part of the other, if not, ignore this! 💞

Yes. I hope it doesn't bother you, but, this fic contains ObaGiyuu's ship (Iguro Obanai x Giyuu Tomioka).

Lee: Iguro Obanai

Ler: Giyuu Tomioka

How far can trauma go? "It depends on the person", they are right, but what happens to that person who refuses to receive help because they believe they do not deserve it? Why do you think your blood is impure?

That was the dilemma of the serpent hashira, Iguro Obanai, he did not feel able to endure physical contact, he felt afraid.

'Iguro-San, I think you're not a bad person! You are one of my closest friends! You are so good and kind! You are amazing!' - M.K

'You're my best friend, what makes you think otherwise?' - S.S

'I understand that sometimes you feel inferior, but you are not. Despite the harshness of your words, you are someone very special, Obanai' - S.K

'I consider you my brother and I know that you are not bad! I know you act like that, but inside, you're a softie!' - K.R

'You shouldn't feel self-conscious, you're not a bad person. Just because your family is, doesn't mean you are too.' - T.U

'You are a cute cat and although cats are somewhat aggressive, with the right people, they change' - M.T

'You are someone who is sensitive, who enjoys talking to people. I know that you strive every day to improve and that gives me a good image of you' - G.H

'Iguro Obanai, I couldn't be happier with myself, my son. You are someone admirable and I know the weight you carry, but I assure you that you are not as bad a person as you think, you are just confused. The past, although it affects us, does not define our present in itself. I know that you feel undeserving of something because of your lineage, but that doesn't matter. You are you and I couldn't be more proud of it, Obanai, don't forget it' - K.U / O.S

Even with the good perspective that others had of him, he didn't feel the same.

The only one with the ability to understand him seemed to be Kaburamaru, after all, he saw all his suffering, he knew who Iguro Obanai truly was, he knew his insecurities, his thoughts, his feelings, everything...

'Kaburamaru, do you think... 'Do you think Tomioka... You know...?', Kaburamaru nodded.

It would sound absurd, but it was real, Giyuu Tomioka, the hashira who used to annoy Iguro Obanai, was now his romantic interest.

He doesn't know at what point he would have fallen for it, what had Tomioka done?

'Ugh... Of all the men, it had to be him...?! Damn, what's wrong with Tomioka? Sure, he's handsome, he has good hair, he protects you because he cares, his eyes are beautiful, his breathing style is majestic... Oh fucking mother, damn Tomioka, I curse you for liking me!'

Yes, that was a normal thing in the "conversations" between Kaburamaru and his owner. This conversation was interrupted by the aforementioned hashira.

Whoever it was, he had asked Giyuu Tomioka to come to his estate, and it was very likely that he had heard everything, oh god... 'What brings you here, Tomioka?'

'Well, Oyakata-Sama told me that we had a joint mission today, so, I came to tell you on my own. Do you agree with it?'

'Yeah, sure...', Giyuu closed the door and approached him.

Obanai looked up, why the hell hadn't he left?! He got up and adjusted his haori, he didn't have time for it, it was bad enough that their joint mission was with him. However, Giyuu did the unthinkable and gave him a hug.

'W-what the fuck are you doing?!'

'Huging you. Isn't it obvious?'

'Let go of me you idiot! This is weird! Get away from me!'

But Tomioka didn't listen, instead he put a little more force into the hug and his eyes sparkled a little when Obanai stopped fighting and timidly accepted his hug.

Obanai closed his eyes, despite his cold demeanor, his hug felt so warm, his heart liked the feeling and he simply couldn't refuse the hug.

'Sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I know we don't have the best friendship, but you seemed to need it'

'Yeah, well, thanks, I guess. I didn't expect it, but, I can't complain...'

'Well, then, see you at night?'

Obanai wanted to nod, but wait until night? He could, of course, but damn, he hated it when his feelings betrayed him and his body moved or talked to itself, and before he realized it, he had already invited Giyuu to stay with him a little longer.

'Well, what would you like to do? Would you like me to stay silent or would you like to talk?', damn...

Obanai didn't know, on the one hand, if he stayed silent, he could see him better, he could get closer to him and so on, but also, if Giyuu spoke, he had not had a long conversation with him before, perhaps it was the opportunity to listen to his voice for longer, what was the best option?

'Obanai, do you like me?'

'What?'

'I asked, do you like me?'

What kind of question was that? Of course, not only that, he liked him, he loved him, he wanted Giyuu Tomioka to be his lover, that was the reality but... Could they both be together?

Wasn't it what people would say that terrified him, he was terrified of not being enough for him, would he still love him if he knew his origins? If he knew what was hidden under those bandages? If he knew who he really was...? Still, would he want it...?

'Iguro?', Giyuu called after him, but he shook his head.

Giyuu then understood, how absurd it had been to ask, obviously there was no way, after all "his rat face is what pisses me off."

Obanai watched him get up, he didn't understand, until he realized that he had never answered the question and his only "answer" had been the movement of his head. 'Tomioka...'

'Do you think we'll meet at night?'

'No, please stay. Please...'

Obanai's voice heard different, of course, it already sounded different because of the bandages, but this time, it sounded so broken, it sounded disappointed, he had never heard him speak that way.

He didn't argue and returned to his seat, facing each other; he had never had that closeness with him.

'Forgive me, I didn't shake my head because I didn't like you, I was thinking too much, let's just say it was more to bring me back to reality', oh, so that was it.

Giyuu nodded and opened his eyes slightly when Obanai got even closer to him, such a normal connection felt... 'Tomioka...'

'Yes?' 'Would you like to go eat something?'

Go eat something? Something like, a date? Well, it didn't bother him, but he suggested something better...

'How about we go and order food to eat here at your house? Of course, if doesn't bother you', bother him? Damn, of course not, it just made him like he more.

And said and done, that's it, they ordered their food and took it home, definitely the best meal they've both had so far.

'You don't plan to eat?' 'I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable or feel disgust' 'Why would I?'

And that's where Kaburamaru comes in, who was watching the whole situation, even knowing what it entailed, he made the decision that seemed appropriate and released some of the bandages from Obanai, who quickly covered himself and turned around.

'Kaburamaru, what the hell have you done...? Damn... Just when we were so good... Huh?', his anger dissipated.

Giyuu approached from behind, holding him by the cheeks and staring at him, his fingers soon slipped and lowered the bandages that hid the truth, but it didn't seem to bother him. 'Tomioka? Hey idiot, I'm talking to you!'

'Sorry, it's just that, you're even cuter without your bandages...'

Obanai's eyes lit up and a small blush formed on his cheeks, what was wrong? Was it perhaps for the compliment? Was it because he shouldn't have doubted that Giyuu would disgust him? Everything was so confusing.

'Tomioka...' 'You can call me Giyuu. Of course, if you don't mind'

'It's okay, Giyuu.', whatever the answer mattered, there was no reason to have doubts anymore.

Obanai felt calm and this time, he did not deny him the hug, he felt so calm and he liked how Giyuu caressed his head, it made him feel happy.

'Can I see a smile?'

'Don't be a hypocrite, you don't smile either'

'And when they tickle me?'

Oh, right, well, he wasn't going to deny that he's enjoyed seeing him laugh many times, but that's not the point, why the hell did his mind wander so much when it came to him?

Giyuu looked at Kaburamaru as Obanai once again got into his thoughts, he clung to his cheek and rubbed his head against it, he seemed to understand what he wanted, just, he hoped that Obanai wouldn't mind.

'Forgive me for what I will do'

'Huh? E-ehehehe...'

'Are your cheeks ticklish?', yes, but he didn't have to know that.

Giyuu chuckled and gently nibbled on his cheeks, becoming even more captivated when a light blush formed on Obanai's cheeks and he began to laugh.

Unconsciously, his hands moved down to his lower back and he used just one finger to swipe it, smiling when the smaller one arched his back and tried to swat his hand away.

'Whahahat a-ahaHAre you dohohoihihing?!'

'I wanted a smile, wow, first your cheeks are ticklish and now your lower back is too. Can you be even cuter? I guess there's only one way to find out...'

'Hu-huh?! Stohohop thihihis! Tohomiohokahaha! Pleheahasehehe!'

[carulenes]

I have so many scattered thoughts re: Blade, Jingliu, and Dan Heng and the entirety of the HCQ after Clouds Leave No Trace

This is gonna probably be long as hell since I haven’t stopped thinking abt it for two days straight and will contain spoilers for the new HCQ quest in 1.4 as well as references to other leaks, this is mostly just a jumble of a bunch of theories and ramblings to get my thoughts out, some of which I already had and others that started to jump out during the quest. obv other ppl may have come up with similar conclusions and i obv might not be right myself but based on the narrative presented to us up until now, these are what I feel make the most sense. TLDR at the end.

Dan Heng vs “running away”

I find it fascinating, and frankly disingenuous, that that both Jingliu and Blade consistently frame DH’s explanations of no longer being Dan Feng and only containing fragments of his memories as "trying to run from his past". I’ve also seen some in the fandom claim that DH’s position on the matter shouldn’t be trusted as he’s an “unreliable narrator”, which could be true, but it’s a stance I disagree with as it goes against the structure of DH’s narrative as it’s been set up since the beginning of the game.

From day one until the present, Dan Heng is shown to be fully willing to atone for the sins of his past:

The moment he was allowed to move freely aboard the Luofu after having quietly accepted exile for crimes he shouldn’t have had to pay for, he decided of his own volition to seek out the current high elder and make amends with both the Xianzhou and his past in general, even when doing so made him a target for even more suffering:

Narratively speaking, he never once backs away from the punishment considered owed to Dan Feng's actions.

Dan Heng, the result of a forced rebirth process that was then manipulated to leave him with combat prowess and broken memories he neither wanted or should have possessed to begin with, was escorted away from the only homeland he knew, after being held in prison for crimes he legally should not have been judged by from the moment of his birth, with only the few possessions his previous incarnation had possessed, forced to jump from spaceship to spaceship without even recognizing the destination. The only reason he ever ran at all is due to the ages spent fighting for his life against an enemy he didn't recognize and never truly recognized him, one that refused to die no matter how many times they fought. One who caused unmatched destruction in his hunt for Dan Heng, fully willing to destroy anyone and anything in the way of his goal— a shadow of his past:

This is why personally (emphasis on personally) I believe that the longing in question from the leak regarding Dan Heng polishing his spear is in reference to the Luofu, as to me, it makes sense that he would long for and think of the homeland he never got to witness thoroughly with his own eyes and could only experience in books while caring for the weapon he uses to keep himself and others safe from the force of destruction that trails him:

In fact, it isn't until after Dan Heng joins the Astral Express that he begins to fight back against the assertion that he must eternally suffer for the past; this is because this is when he finally has something other than himself to protect. We are directly shown this in his animated short, when the memory of the other members of the Express crew serve as the motivation to spur Dan Heng out of the internal conflict he was drowning in, and also as his prime reason for going to meet with the others in the HCQ aboard the Luofu:

This is likely possible largely due both to the fact that Vidyadhara cannot succumb to mara, as well as the fact that he doesn't have the same specific memories as the others, and so he is not shackled to the same chains that now bind Blade and Jingliu.

———

Blade and Jingliu

In Blade’s youth, Jingliu describes him as someone who was “defiant” in a way she claimed not to like. I find this fascinating given that the two are so incredibly similar at present, which I feel is due in part to Blade’s unwavering respect for her even after the pain she caused him, both because of who she is as the former Sword Champion and the amount of Abundance abominations she alone had been able to slay, as well as the pain she inflicted giving him new purpose, a choice to give him a “second chance” despite at one point having wished to leave him to his misery as a fate worse than death, as described in her character story.

Both Blade and Jingliu experienced great suffering in their childhoods

Blade's swordsmanship ability comes directly from Jingliu’s tutelage

His personal oath comes directly from Jingliu, as she forced it into his psyche over and over through death and rebirth in order to force him to remember:

They both took on deals through which they are able to have access to suppression for their mara:

And both are fighting towards goals that are implied to, at least currently, be impossible (following who I believe to be extremely suspicious individuals):

Also, both are equally stubborn, seen both through their refusal to take no as an answer to Dan Heng's wishes to no longer associate with them and through their refusal to listen to anything that may trigger or directly refute their perceptions of reality:

But most importantly:

Blade and Jingliu both became mara-struck very quickly after Baiheng’s death.

It's repeatedly mentioned that mara is linked to to the artificially stretched lifespans of Xianzhou natives, but also that a fundamental aspect of the affliction is tied to the accumulation of painful memories. Given that vast scope of the destruction that occurred during this bane, and the extreme closeness both Jingliu and Blade had to the deceased and beloved Baiheng (in addition to the trauma of being transmuted into another species entirely, in Blade's case), it's no surprise that both of them are affected so deeply. Additionally, a common treatment for mara is avoiding accessing painful memories or suppressing/removing them entirely.

As Blade himself states that the effects of mara affliction are unique to the individual, I can't make a sweeping judgement of the symptoms all the mara-struck; the specific manifestations of Jingliu and Blade's afflictions, however, can be related to the concept of complicated grief:

We see these symptoms heavily within Jingliu, who literally wears a blindfold to avoid seeing anything that can trigger painful memories, has a voiceline describing how she can't remember many details of the time she and Baiheng spent together, speaks how she's plagued with nightmares about Baiheng, and she refuses to not only prohibit herself from forgetting the pain of what happened to her that day, but also the remaining members of the HCQ.

Similar observations can be made for Blade; he notably speaks very little and withdraws from most social situations, not wanting to take part in “annoying conversations.” His particular form of mara affliction is, by his own admission, unusual and devoid of any real emotion. The few moments of reprieve are spent either thinking too much or not thinking of anything at all. When his mara strikes, though, he shuts down, going completely numb and lashing out at whatever's in his way- not unlike certain displays of trauma responses in real life. He asks directly, “Why does someone like her have to be buried, burned to ash, and eventually forgotten...? Why!?” And given Yingxing being quoted saying directly during this quest that he doesn't wish for an overly long life, and Blade's intense suicidal ideations in the present, it's not a far reach to suggest that he also wishes that he died with her or in her stead.

And both are unable to find purpose in a life without her:

Blade and Jingliu both accuse Dan Heng of being unwilling to accept the past, but both of them are quite literally and physically unable to do so themselves— Dan Heng was even the only one to have spent extended time in the Shackling Prison, even though he should not have had to due to his rebirth, while both Blade and Jingliu were both wanted criminals who managed to escape. They both walk carrying the pain of the past through the present because they feel empty without it. And, unlike Dan Heng, neither one of them have a future that they feel can look forward to.

On that note, Jing Yuan, the only member of the HCQ who is capable of succumbing to mara and yet hasn't, is also the only member to directly acknowledge Dan Heng's autonomy and existence. This extends to Dan Feng as well, as both Blade and Jingliu most often refer to both Dan Heng and Dan Feng interchangeably with the title of Imbibitor Lunae, rather than their names.

The only ones to continue to deny Dan Heng's existence and rebirth are those who are unable to leave the past behind, such as the mirage echoes forever tied to Scalegorge Waterscape, as well as Blade and Jingliu, forever tied to their own suffering.

[Side note: This is exactly why I believe HYV decided to have 1.3 end with an entire questline based around the showing the process of accepting death and healthy grieving: to act as a direct juxtaposition to Blade and Jingliu, who both are unable to engage in the process themselves.] ————

Yingxing and Dan Feng/Blade and Dan Heng

Yingxing the Furnace Master and High Elder Dan Feng were very close. They were good friends, yes, but they were also bad for each other, according to Kafka:

Which would be easy enough on its to write off as her own interpretation of a story she’s heard but doesn’t know enough to understand. But Jingliu, the living member of the HCQ most affected by their actions, shows agreement with her assessment, pointing out that she’d found it strange “to see someone so arrogant get along with someone so proud.”

These specific traits are mentioned and attributed to them multiple times— the arrogant craftsman and the proud high elder. The reason for this is also stated by Kafka: “Together, they did something bad— something terrible. It led to horrific consequences.”

The emphasis that they did it together, almost directly after stating that the pair were bad for one another (which was a conscious choice to have her say, as her statements of their shared mistake and Blade's memory loss would have sufficed on their own), is important not simply because they both made and adhered to the plan; it’s important because it implies that it was directly because it took the two of them specifically to create the chaos and unrest that took place and not anyone else. This isn’t a condemnation of either of them as individuals, but Jingliu herself points out that even the smartest people can make extremely ill-advised decisions in the heat of the moment.

If Yingxing hadn’t arrogantly believed himself alone capable of handling and utilizing the remains of the very Emanator it took a plethora of combatants including the entire HCQ to take down (likely leading to the loss in the usability of his hands as a result):

If Dan Feng hadn’t proudly believed his “salvation” more righteous than the autonomy of those mortals he sought to save, "letting" them continue living as though the right to withhold the honor of dying for a cause they believed in was his alone, while also seeming to blindly believe himself incapable of being deceived or misunderstanding something:

None of the resulting fallout would have happened.

Only one with powers like those of the High Elder of the Vidyadhara could have attempted what Dan Feng did, and only an outworlder who has experienced the allure of immortality and experienced the fear of not having enough time would be willing to assist, given the Xianzhou’s stance on acts regarding immortality.

Furnace Master and High Elder, filled with blind confidence in themselves, blind confidence in each other, enabling each other (Yingxing calling out to Dan Feng and implying that they had to be the ones to make a choice, Dan Feng being moved by his human heart’s words and his own exhaustion with watching the deaths of those around him) to make a dangerous choice at a critical moment when their close companion is in mortal peril (more accurately already dead but they couldn’t accept that), and make the decision to ignore the autonomy of everyone involved. They had no contingency plan because they were sure that, with each other, that it would work. Because of this, they both share the blame, their noble intentions not enough to outweigh their unforgivable sin.

Jing Yuan is noted to have “always understood the price better than any of [the HCQ], yet he never spoke up, never did anything”, but anyone who has had the experience of trying to tell an arrogant or prideful person that they’re wrong or making a mistake knows that that’s an uphill battle on its own. Add in that it would be two against one (one of whom he already canonically bickered with constantly throughout their companionship), asking two of the most stubborn people he knew to give up on their desire to save the beloved (for Yingxing, Baiheng; for Dan Feng, his people), the two that were closer to each other than he was with either of them (not to imply that the HCQ weren’t all very close to each other because they definitely were but in obv differing ways) right in the middle of a high stress situation where there’s no time for arguing, and what remains is Jing Yuan with no options but to watch as disaster unfolded before him and everyone else, knowing that their minds were already made up.

Yingxing never wanted to be immortal or to see Baiheng suffering, but his own hubris helped lead to both.

Dan Feng never wanted to endure the sight of meaningless death, and yet directly caused it due to his pride, believing he had the right to play god and interfere with the natural process of death, or to consider that he may be wrong.

They were good friends who were bad for each other, and good people who made an exceedingly bad decision.

In the present, it’s been over 700 years since the last meeting of the High-Cloud Quintet, meaning Yingxing and Dan Feng have been essentially dead for roughly 7x the length of the HCQ’s entire existence. Their new identities, Blade and Dan Heng are clearly meant to parallel each other, but as opposing forces going in different directions, given Blade’s unwavering desire to die, and Dan Heng’s unwavering desire to live and to protect those he cares for. Both were put through immense suffering that, in the same vein, provided the means of “freedom” for them— Blade, through the sword; Dan Heng, through banishment. And both have found new colleagues to consider allies, though even the two groups are opposed to one another.

At this point in time, they’re enemies in all respects, and the chances of any reconciliation between them in my opinion is VERY slim for multiple reasons not limited to how much time has already passed at this point:

1) Dan Heng does not trust Blade at all and actively considers him one of the biggest threats to both his own and his companions’ safety, with good reason. The only way this could feasibly change is if Blade were to stop hunting him, which likely would not happen because

2) Blade is wholly devoted to Elio’s predictions for him, which Dan Heng’s existence would be paradoxical to. One of Blade’s wishes is to kill Imbibitor Lunae specifically in revenge, and he doesn’t (or can't) accept Dan Heng’s existence; if what Dan Heng claims about his identity is true, then that could only mean the future Elio promised must be false, which would strip him of the only purpose he has left in this world, leaving him as an empty, undying husk. This matter is also complicated by the fact that

3) There is still no cure for the mara that afflicts Blade, which would be the only avenue through which Blade could even begin to consider accepting Dan Heng and potentially reconciling. Both he and Jingliu were able to discover methods of having it suppressed, but both were temporary fixes: Jingliu notes that her time is beginning to run out, and Kafka had to use alternate means to reduce the potency of the mara within Blade after it violently flared up after merely being on the Xianzhou, which is likely the only reason the meeting between the HCQ could even take place with his attendance. On top of this, there’s also the fact that

4) Blade’s feelings for Dan Feng are likely very complex as well. Deep down, there’s clearly still some fondness there in the way Blade looks back on the time spent with Dan Feng, but he’s also one of the people he deeply resents and wants to see dead, which I believe could be due to his belief that it’s Dan Feng’s fault that Baiheng died. There is a choice-dependent voiceline from Baiheng deep within Dan Heng's memories that calls out to him to save them from the starskiff, but we know that it crashed. He tried to invoke the Transmutation Arcaneum, but it failed, instead turning Baiheng into a half-dragon monstrosity whose wails of pain echoed all around them. And then, though he wasn’t the one to deal the final blow, he might as well have by giving the location of the dragon’s weak spot to Jingliu. To top everything off, everything ended with Blade within an immortal body, one that leaves him in constant pain, particularly during the healing process after “death”.

From his perspective, it’s easy to see just why Blade could place the blame of Baiheng’s burial and the near destruction of the Luofu solely on Dan Feng, accusing Dan Feng alone of being the one to stubbornly adhere to the plan; it’s also easy to point out Blade’s hypocrisy given his role as Dan Feng’s accomplice. There are multiple potential reasons for this in my opinion: his brain, afflicted by both mara and prior memory loss (though he never forgets Dan Feng’s eyes or “how cruelty burst out from beneath the mirror-like emerald calmness”); his arrogance, leading him to absolve himself of any guilt or wrongdoing because he believes himself incapable of failing; the current youth-like quality of his mind, reduced to immaturely (by which I purely mean the dictionary definition of having/showing emotional development of someone younger) craving nothing but revenge while simultaneously absolving responsibility by saying “He did it! Not me!”. Also, considering Jingliu’s dialogue to Dan Feng where she says to him “If your death can return everything to how it was, I would do it,” and the many ways Blade already emulates Jingliu, it isn’t too difficult to consider that he may have taken that duty on himself out of grief and longing.

Along with these reasons, the narrative emphasizes that even almost a millennium after Yingxing and Dan Feng’s deaths, destruction follows in their wake whenever their new lives cross paths. Dan Heng learned this quickly, hence his fervent desire to keep distance and his relative uncertainty of anywhere that could possibly be safe for him, though he also learned rather quickly that this was futile. Blade was always able to find him, entire spaceships destroyed in his unshakable desire to kill him. On the Xianzhou, not only was Dan Heng dragged into a fight with Blade, but so too was Yanqing. This cycle of destruction is implied to have been so constant for Dan Heng that it’s likely the entire reason he never feels safe or feels unable to confide in anyone so as to not risk putting them in danger.

----

The Destruction Trio

Imbibitor Lunae, Blade, and Jingliu all being on the path of destruction is no coincidence given their histories. The three “sinners” all shared a key trait: being able to cope with death and painful losses. Both Yingxing and Dan Feng viewed her as arrogant and proud, respectfully, which was another commonality between them. This leads all three of them to not only become the orchestrators of their own self-destruction, but the destruction of those around them as well: Dan Feng witnessing countless deaths and being forced to be reborn as another; Yingxing’s loss of his gift and creative abilities as well as the transformation into the immortal Blade who only sees himself as a weapon; Jingliu’s abandonment of her sacred oath and everyone she killed during her time under the influence of the mara poisoning her mind. Only Dan Heng walks a different path, as he is the only one to have directly stated that he accepts the past that happened but refuses to let it stain his bright future.

The three of them are also intrinsically linked in their pain. Dan Feng and Yingxing's mistake led directly to Jingliu's suffering; Jingliu's treatment of Blade led to his becoming a living weapon and catching the eye of the Stellaron Hunters, and also to him being able to inflict similar suffering to Dan Heng by hunting him constantly. Blade and Jingliu both are of the mind that this is inevitable and inescapable, but only Dan Heng is in a position to be able and willing to question whether he really does have to continue feeling that pain.

While it's still very early on in HSR's lifespan making it difficult to make any real concrete theories, for now I predict that Jingliu will die in her attempt to kill the Abundance, and I also believe her to be aware of this deep down, as she likely sees this as a way for her to atone and find her peace. It also makes most sense for Blade to die at some point as well, considering his parallels to Jingliu, his current character and the fact that while Yingxing used to fear not having enough time in life when he was young, he came to accept his mortality in his elder years after the full life he lived with the HCQ; it could even possibly be in defense of Dan Heng, which could provide a full-circle end to their cycle and their story, a form of closure that no other broken pair has seemed to get so far. Their respective character stories, while directly representing their current struggles, can also be viewed as allusions to their fates as well, with Blade's referring to his death and Dan Heng's highlighting him seeing the dawn of a new day. I also think it could be feasible for the discovery of a method to remove Blade's mara and for him to grow content with the Blade of today, even with powers he doesn't want, similar to Dan Heng accepting that Imbibitor Lunae's powers will always be a part of him; a "miraculous cure" sort of ending could be very clunky if not handled well in my opinion, though.

----

The Reunion

Though it's phrased in a metaphorical way, I feel pretty sure that not only did we just see the reunion alluded to by the PoWC bracer, but also that this is another remnant of Jingliu’s influence that some part of Blade’s subconscious must have clung to:

Note the usage of “should”, a term with many meanings but the most applicable being “expressing a conjecture or hope,” rather than something like “will”, which would indicate future tense or an inevitable event.

Jingliu’s splash art alone shows her pouring out a cup of alcohol

In Jingliu’s character story, Baiheng is said to have brought Jingliu “divine nectar from the other side of the universe”

At the beginning of the companion quest, in the Seat of Divine Foresight, she mentions wanting to have a glass of wine and reminisce with old friends

She is the one to bring the jade flask that Blade handcrafted himself for her when she releases the starskiff in her memory

When the remaining quartet reach Scalegorge Waterscape, she directly mentions that she never believed the 4 of them, with their many grudges and all friendship lost, would gather again and specifically quantifies the hundreds of years that have passed

She does this twice more, mentioning the seven centuries and how they all did this 700 hundred years ago

She is the one to point out that, in the past, they all promised to meet together again for a drink no matter what happened

She says that she believed “those joyful days would flow indefinitely before us” which also fits within the imagery of drinking

There are multiple visual nods to drinking in her flashbacks as well: there’s the quintet having a toast, as well as Jingliu pouring out the alcohol once again while Yingxing sips off to the side, which symbolically is a good representation of the way she poured so much of herself into Blade (whether intentionally or unintentionally) that so much of him resembles her now, down to the bow on the back of his clothes (and even their similar splash arts). There’s also a glimpse of Yingxing and Jing Yuan drinking together. Because both of them were children when they each met Jingliu for the first time, it makes sense that Jingliu and the others were likely the ones to teach the pair to drink once they each came of age.

Jingliu mentions that they will likely never all meet again, and bids farewell to the HCQ.

Finally, at the very end of the quest, she directly says:

Blade mentions alcohol only once, when he says, "The miraculous thing is that in my brief moment of death... all the pain went away... like when we drank to drown our sorrows." In Jingliu's case, we know that she was affected in much the same way as Blade, becoming more confident and boastful under the effects of drinking, mentioning that the nightmares and pain from her childhood memories were no longer so terrifying. For both of them, alcohol is another form of suppression of pain, not unlike substance abuse seen in real life, which grieving individuals are at higher risk of falling victim to.

While it’s possible this wasn’t the reunion that alluded to and they could technically all reunite once more in the future, the sheer number of references to the contents of the backstory mentioned in the bracer lead me to believe that this isn’t the case, as well as Jingliu stating herself that this would likely be their final meeting before she pays her own ultimate price. Not to mention the fact that very specific circumstances had to be in play for Jingliu/Luocha, the Stellaron Hunters, and the Astral Express to all end up on Jing Yuan’s doorstep at the same time. Specificity like that is rarely duplicated, particularly in HSR’s canon, which features many characters with formerly close bonds being separated for whatever reason with no closure to their relationship. The four of them even getting one reunion was a blessing in itself, even though none of them felt particularly happy about it afterwards.

TLDR: Dan Heng is accused of running from his past, but he is the only one of the three "sinners" capable and willing to do so; Jingliu and Blade are heavy parallels of each other and share the same pains of complicated grief; Yingxing and Dan Feng together (and Blade and Dan Heng by association) bring out the worst in each other and represent a cycle of destruction that neither of them are currently able to escape from; the reunion mentioned by the bracer was likely Jingliu's idea that Blade also began to internalize and we likely just watched it occur; Dan Feng, Blade, and Jingliu were all incapable of handling death and loss and this inability is what lead to the three of them causing so much pain and destruction for themselves, each other, and everyone around them.

[deiaiko]

#22.9 Kindness

Ran woke up with far less aching than he anticipated. Though what shocked him more was that the long haired FUG was the first one to greet him.

"Oh. Hello." The FUG guy, Bam –as A.A called him– wore a soft smile, but half of his face was still hidden behind his long bangs. Ran didn't know if he wanted to respond to him or not. 

"Ran~!" Shibisu cried fake tears, "My cutie~ you made me worried!" Ran grimaced when Shibisu leaped from his seat with two hands outstretched. He was so troublesome, but at least he was good at noticing the line he shouldn't cross, by stopping himself from actually enveloping Ran in an embrace.

Ran gritted his teeth and pushed himself up to sit to get a better look at his surroundings. Seemed like there were only the three of them in the room.

"Mr. Agni said he has healed most of your injuries, and he left you here to rest until you feel better." Bam informed him unprompted. "Khun and Mr. Rak had just left to get lunch at the cafeteria, they should be back soon."

Ran ignored him. He had no intentions to be friendly with this guy. He also noticed that Shibisu was oddly quiet, observing him and Bam. And Ran felt his judging stare pricking his skin and poking his conscience.

Bam glanced at Shibisu, and Shibisu raised an eyebrow. They seemed to have a short telepathic conversation.

"Ah, sorry. I should've introduced myself first. My name's Bam, but you can also call me Viole. I'm Mr– ah, I'm Shibisu's old teammate."

Ran already knew. He had heard about Bam from hushed tales between his allies; about an irregular that took the test with A.A's team and died back on the second floor.

Despite the fact that this person named Bam was long gone, A.A's world seemed to still revolve around him. Like how he couldn't seem to let go of their team that bickered all the time, and how his goal was to take that annoying blonde girl to climb despite his unsubtle hatred toward her.

But the worst of it was how A.A would be so hard on himself to ensure every floor test went perfectly. 

And truthfully, Ran had hated this Bam ever since, for making A.A live like that.

"Are you thirsty, Ran? You haven't spoken in a bit." Shibisu pulled Ran out of his thoughts.

Ran cleared his throat at the mention. And Shibisu was right; his throat actually felt so dry that he wanted to talk even less. Too troublesome.

"Ah, right. Uhm…here." Bam picked up and offered him a glass of water, along with a pill in a small container. "Mr. Agni told us to give this to you, he said it could help relieve some pain."

Ran was skeptical about taking the pill, so he only accepted the water. He watched Bam place the container back on the table, silently glad that neither of them forced him to take it.

Bam was being really thoughtful so far. Maybe he'd consider giving Bam a chance to justify himself. To prove that he could be forgiven for hurting A.A in such a way.

"...Ran." Ran mumbled, "My name's Ran."

Bam beamed and Ran had to mentally squint from the sudden rays of sunlight, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Ran! If you need anything else, just tell me. I'll do my best to assist you."

Ah, troublesome. Ran immediately regretted his decision.

However, now he understood why A.A had been so devoted. A.A was weak to kindness, because Ran knew they both grew up without it. And as far as Ran knew, A.A had always chased after something hard to attain, one of a kind. Whether it was jewelry, weapons, authority,...even people. And Bam fit the criteria too well.

The automatic door opened and revealed A.A. Their eyes inevitably locked and A.A's disappointment was clear to Ran.

Think of the devil…Ran felt his annoyance bar rapidly rising.

"What did I tell you?" A.A navigated his way to them, not once breaking his glare. "Only consume redan when it's absolutely necessary."

Ran was taking none of it. "Hmph!" He had lots of fun with the spar, so he wouldn't say he regretted it.

A moment passed with A.A still staring daggers into him. It almost made Ran feel bad. Almost. In the end, A.A sighed and let it slide. "Suit yourself."

A.A brought three plates filled with an assortment of food. Though Ran figured that none of them were for him. Ran's stomach rumbled defiantly when the smell reached his nose.

Instead of being teased, Ran was taken aback when Bam offered him his yet untouched food. "You can have this, Mr. Ran."

Ran didn't know how to react to that, feeling a little uncomfortable. He felt like it would be wrong to refuse, but he didn't want it. He looked at A.A instead, hoping that he'd get the hint.

A.A noticed this and said, "You don't have to be nice to him, Bam."

"Hm? Why?"

Unfortunately A.A didn't say a better explanation other than, "Because that's how it is with him."

Shibisu slung his arms around Bam's neck. "What Khun meant is…Ran appreciates your thoughtfulness, but I think he would rather get his own food than take yours because he doesn't want to bother you. Right?"

Isu winked at Ran, and Ran rolled his eyes. That was not exactly true, but it was a softer way to put it. "As he said."

"Ah," Bam retracted his offering hands, "I see."

Ran wasted no time and swung his feet off the bed, glad to find that they weren't hurting as much. 

Bam had leaped from his seat as well, ready to catch Ran with his free hand if Ran didn't make it to stand. However it only made Ran much more eager to leave the room and get away from Bam.

Getting nice gestures from someone else he barely knew usually means they have ulterior motives, and he was so tired of being treated that way.

Bam might have meant well, seeing how much A.A trusted Bam. But Ran just hadn't gotten used to receiving kindness.

"Well then," Ran went for the door and it automatically opened for him. He didn't bother to look back to check if they followed him out. "I'll go and get some food."

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[elementaldoughnut12]

"New Experience"

*contains crying, getting injured and Drew asking someone to kill him*

Doughnut Team: @afterdarkprincess @thlayli-ra

Special Tag: @crxssjae (I know you like drew/roman! Also if you don't wanna be tagged just message me)

“Dammit! Not again!” Drew says angrily as he hits his side against a corner of a nearby table. He's currently trying to find his way to the living room but the only problem is that he can barely see. Drew can be described as a lot of things but stubborn is the most popular. His eyesight and hearing have gone out a bit when he turned fifty-five so his doctor has made him start wearing glasses and a hearing aid so he can see and hear better.

The big problem is that Drew refuses to wear the items because he thinks people will see him as a helpless old man. For five years straight he's been stumbling and hurting himself because of his stubbornness to the point where his husband Roman had to practically force him to wear his helping aids. Of course Drew, being a genuine pain in the ass, doesn't wear his helping aids when Roman's not around because he wants to still feel like he has some sort of pride left.

Now here he is, sixty years old, currently feeling against a wall as a way of navigation. “I think I'm almost there” Drew says to himself, not noticing the vacuum cord in front of him. “I think I can see the… shit!” Drew says as he trips over the cord and falls to the floor. He lands on his face and shoulder which brings tears to his eyes. “D-Dammit” he says in pain while trying not to cry. He faintly hears footsteps approaching in front of him and when he looks up all he sees is a dark tall figure with what looks like a weapon in their hand.

“If you're here to kill me just do it now cause I already embarrassed myself! Might as well put this old bastard into the ground” Drew says sadly as he feels the tears stream down his face. He faintly hears the floor creak a bit and he feels a gentle hand caress his cheek. He now recognizes the person comforting him because he's felt that same hand comfort him for forty years. “Roman?” he asks curiously, the figure nodding in response.

Roman offers his hand and helps the other man up. Drew is then led to the couch, still in tears a bit. “I'm sorry” he says through tears, Roman squeezing his hand as a means of comfort. He feels Roman put something into his ear which is most likely his hearing aid. He lets Roman twist the dial without a fuss and now he can hear things again. “Better?” Roman asks gently, Drew just nodding in response.

“You mind turning towards me for a minute?” Roman asks kindly, which makes Drew a bit nervous. “Do I really have to wear them Roman? I can see perfectly fine!” Drew says, Roman clearly is not buying it. “Oh really? Didn't you just trip over the vacuum cord not even ten minutes ago?” Roman asks, which makes Drew feel embarrassed. “Don't remind me that I'm a helpless old man ok?” Drew asks sadly, which breaks Roman's heart a bit.

“We're definitely gonna be talking about this in a minute but can you please turn around so I can put these on you please? For me?” Roman asks hopefully, causing Drew to sigh. He turns around and faces Roman. The first thing he sees when his glasses are on are the beautiful brown eyes and shining smile of the man he loves. “There's my handsome man” Roman says sweetly as he gently brushes his fingers against the developing bruise on Drew's cheek.

“I love how you still think I'm handsome even though I just fell on my face” Drew says with a quiet laugh. “I've seen you look worse before hon, now lemme go get you an ice pack ok?” Roman offers as he grabs his walking cane and gets up off the couch. “Roman, it's fine! I can get it…” Drew doesn't finish his sentence as Roman gives him a serious look. “Drew, let me take care of you ok? I'm not a porcelain doll!” Roman says with a laugh as he walks to the kitchen.

“You're just proving my point that I can't do anything for myself” Drew says quietly as he lays on the couch. He feels himself start to cry again as the negative thoughts swirl in his mind. “Drew? You still in there?” Roman asks curiously. “Y-Yeah” Drew says through tears as Roman comes closer. “Oh baby” Roman says as he sits back down and puts Drew's head in his lap. “I deserve to be put down” Drew says sadly, which Roman doesn't like hearing at all.

“What makes you think that love?” Roman asks as he gives Drew the ice pack. “Look at me Roman, I'm fucking blind and deaf now! I'm basically useless” Drew explains through sniffles as he presses the ice pack against his cheek. “First of all, you're not blind and deaf. You just have bad eyesight and poor hearing where you need medical items to help you. Second of all, how does needing help make you useless?” Roman asks as he runs his fingers through Drew's long, gray mane.

“I've never needed help like this before! I'm used to being the guy that everyone can count on to help them but now I feel like I need constant help and it takes away my purpose” Drew explains as he leans into Roman's touch. “Do you think I deserve to die because I use a cane?” Roman asks curiously, Drew furiously nodding his head “no” in response. “No! Never!” Drew says as he looks up at Roman. “Then why do you think you do?” Roman asks seriously as he looks into Drew's eyes. “I'm a helpless old man now, doesn't wearing these just prove it?” Drew asks sadly.

“Baby, that doesn't mean you're helpless. It means you're real” Roman explains, which confuses Drew. “Explain” Drew says, causing his husband to laugh. “Even the most perfect bodies break down eventually. Sure as you get older you become less of who you used to be but isn't change good? Don't think about it as you being helpless, think about it as you getting to experience something that people in our profession wouldn't think they'd get to have.

So please don't think of it as a death sentence cause I would love to spend the rest of this experience with you” Roman says sweetly which actually makes sense to Drew. “God, I love you” Drew says with teary eyes and a smile. “Love you too baby” Roman says affectionately as he leans down and kisses Drew deeply. “What would I ever do without you?” Drew asks jokingly. “Probably stumble and fall on your face constantly” Roman answers casually which causes Drew to burst out laughing.

“That's true!” Drew says through laughter, which makes Roman so happy. “I'm so happy you're feeling better babe but you were kinda right about one thing” Roman says with a smirk. “What's that?” Drew asks as the laughing dies down. “That you're old as hell” Roman says which causes Drew to gasp. “You're older than me!” Drew says as he sits up. “Yeah but who still has some color in their hair and who doesn't?” Roman asks with a cheeky grin.

Drew just glares at him before he grabs Roman and smothers him with kisses. “Drew! Stop!” Roman says through giggles. Drew stops and lets Roman lay on top of him. “I'm glad I get to be an old bastard with you Roman” Drew says affectionately. “Wouldn't have called myself an old bastard but I'm glad I get to spend my life with you too Drew” Roman says truthfully. Drew just looks at Roman with love in his eyes.

“Are you enjoying your experience, Roman?” Drew asks as he tucks a strand of hair behind Roman's ear. “Well, I'm currently married to the love of my life that I fell in love with forty years ago and enjoying every moment of it. I also established a legendary wrestling career with him and I get to spend my golden years with him as well while also waiting for our son to come over with our amazing grandkids later on today. So yeah, I'm enjoying it very well” Roman says with a smile.

“Wait, Joe's coming over with the girls?” Drew asks excitedly, Roman nodding in response. “You wanna help me make cookies before they come over? I know Piper and Lyra love it when we make sweets for them” Roman says sweetly as he gets off the couch and offers his husband his hand. “Hell yeah I do! Thank God I can actually see to make them this time!” Drew says happily as Roman helps him up and they walk to the kitchen hand-in-hand. The couple are so happy to enjoy this experience together.

[boxeom]

• When Judgement Day Comes •

🌻[The Failure of Truth and the Success of Lies]🌻

Synopsis: Hiromi gets yet another guilty verdict, but luckily, you are there to pick up his stray pieces.

Contains: Higuruma Hiromi/gn!reader, heavy angst, hurt comfort, a lil spooky (:3), (cw.) heavy intrusive thoughts, (cw.) suicidal ideation, (cw.) heavy dissociation, non-sexual intimacy, acts of service, bird facts (it's symbolism, I promise/I also just know way too much about birds and must share my knowledge), disgusting amounts of soft and emotional fluff.

Wc. 5k+

[Message from the Box]: Uhhhh…first time actually posting my writing. A bit nervous. I have literally been writing so much stuff in my personal life and have literally finished stories I've just been a wee scared to post so they've just been sitting in my drive for like…three years??? Maybe there will be more to come if I actually hype myself up enough- I'm proud of my writings, I think I'm an okay writer (I think), but posting them always makes me feel urrg. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it! (IF YOU SAW THE UNCOMPLETED VERSION OF THIS, NO YOU DIDN'T. 🫵🏽)

-Boxe in the Box

Hiromi's eyes peel open slowly to meet the dark roof of his car. He blinks a few times, head lifting from his headrest to stare ahead at the dark and practically empty parking lot just outside the courthouse. The sun was up when he had gotten into his car- how long was he sitting here? A nearby lamppost flickers. Harsh pale yellow light flashes in rapid patterns- straining Hiromi's eyes and painting his skin ghostly white for only mere seconds before plunging him back into shadow. Hiromi chuckles without a hint of amusement. Those really were the only two sides of the coin, weren't they? The head is too bright- too harsh, it leaves you squinting in wait to adjust- to have to eventually hope that you can one day comfortably live in the exposure the light paints you in. Meanwhile, the tail is too dark to even tell whether or not you are conscious as everything passes by right in front of you- leaving you to blindly stumble your way through uncertainty. You can flip that coin as much as you want. But was the hope for heads every time really worth it? Was this worth it?

Was life worth it?

The intrusively dark thought comes creeping its way out unexpectedly- forcing Hiromi to look it right in the face and come to terms with his subconscious questioning the idea of living. It isn't new, not at all. Hiromi has always had thoughts like that, but he's never given them his attention in favor of pursuing his passion to redeem the world of justice and honor. Right now, though? Hiromi finds himself not countering this consideration of life with his usual optimism. He's too tired. He's so tired. Hiromi takes a deep breath and slightly shakes his head, starting his car, flicking on his lights, and leaving that damned parking lot he's had too many moments of defeat in. He doesn't see the dark figure flickering in and out of existence just beneath the light of that lamppost in his rearview mirror watching his retreat- nor does he see the bulb begin to surge with power, shining too brightly until it shatters with an unheard pop! and litters glass onto the asphalt below. He doesn't see that whatever had been watching him was now gone.

•••

Driving has always been something that Hiromi has come to appreciate. Despite the unfortunate impact careening around in a highly flammable steel box at speeds humans were not meant to move at pouring gray smog into the air from every hole had on the environment, Hiromi finds himself comfortable in the mindless routine of turning the steering wheel, pressing or easing off the acceleration or brake, using the appropriate signals when it was time to use them, and everything else that came with such a common act. His windows are down- wind whipping in his ears and face as he naturally drives the speed limit right at its number, blank eyes staring ahead and occasionally glancing to the left or right. Today, though, something is...different.

He finds himself disassociating from the world around him- from the other cars sharing the road and forgetting that living, breathing people reside inside them. He wonders what would happen if he just pivoted into the black Mercedes Benz he saw littering a styrofoam cup full of cigarette butts a couple miles back. He wonders what would happen if he got on the ass of the rundown truck blaring bass and shit with its driver who blatantly has his eyes glued to his phone. Hiromi can feel the upper half of his dress shoe continue to press down on the acceleration, his vehicle revving along with the action as if to egg him on to go faster. He finds himself not caring when he cuts someone off or doesn't use his turning signal. His chest feels positively hollow. Just like before, he doesn't see the dark figure lounging in his backseat just behind him.

It's like he snaps awake when he finds himself in the elevator of his penthouse, the default cheery tune of elevator music making his clear exhaustion look almost comical in the mirrors paneled to the walls surrounding him. His heavy eyes blink. Hiromi's head swivels to the wall to his right suddenly- eyebrows drawn together in puzzlement. He could have sworn, in the corner of his eye, someone was just with him in the elevator. There had been a flash of long black hair and uncomfortably pale skin, donned in a dark robe of some kind. Before he can give what he just saw much thought, the elevator dings and the steel doors slide open. Hiromi blinks a few times and lightly shakes his head. He lifts his free hand, pinching the bridge of his nose before his palm drags down the rest of his face and he sighs deeply while leaving the elevator. Hiromi's shoulders slouch and his feet are heavy against the floor below him. He slips off his shoes, toeing them in the corner before stepping further into his home.

"Hiromi?"

And just like that, the lead in his muscles and fatigue weighing him down just melts away as you peek around the corner to meet his eyes. You meet him halfway. It doesn't go unnoticed by Hiromi how your eyes look him up and down in clear concern and what he really thinks is pity. "...Guilty again, huh?" He doesn't even need to explain it to you anymore. Hiromi feels every single ounce of negativity cursing his mind, body, and soul simply disappear as he steps into your open and warm embrace. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him flush against your body as a hand cradles the back of his head and welcomes his heaviness. Hiromi's forehead drops to your shoulder and his eyes slide close in relief to be with you. "I made dinner. Hungry?" He shakes his head to decline your offer. There's a moment of guilt in the pit of his stomach that he selfishly turns down your effort in caring for him, but that feeling is soon washed away as you nod instantly. You understood. You always understood. "C'mon," you give a soft kiss to his temple, "let's get this suit off."

With your hand in his, you lead Hiromi into your shared bedroom and take his suitcase to put aside on his desk. You sit Hiromi down on the edge of your bed gently and go about grabbing some more comfortable clothes for him to wear. Hiromi watches you with the softest gaze as you return to him, setting a fresh pair of boxers and one of his old college shirts beside him. You start loosening his tie, “Wanna get washed off? We can lay down afterwards.”

“Yes, please."

“Want me to join?”

Hiromi's heart swells to a point where his chest aches. He leans forward into you, head resting on your chest to listen to your steady heartbeat as he hugs your waist and draws you close between his legs. He just needs a moment to take you in- to feel you in his arms. You let him, return his embrace without question. His heavy eyes close slowly.

He's home.

•••

Hiromi lets out a long sigh as he sinks into the hot embrace of the lavender scented water filling the master bathroom’s spacious tub, resting his arms along the porcelain edges. His eyes peel open when you pass by- pulling your shirt up over your head and tossing it into the wicker laundry bin against the wall. He tilts his head, taking you in from head to toe as you slip your shorts down your legs. Hiromi’s eyebrows knit slightly.

“Where'd you get that bruise from?” He asks in concern, sitting up and reaching out for you- palm smoothing along the back of your bare thigh where a large, dark bruise welts against your skin. “Hm?” You peer over your shoulder at Hiromi with a frown of surprise, “I have a bruise?” “Yeah- it looks horrible. Did this happen recently?” “Oh, right,” Hiromi’s thumb gently rubs small circles against your flesh as you chuckle sheepishly, “I slipped and fell while running late to a meeting the other day, but it didn't hurt or anything.” Hiromi lets out an exasperated sigh, “How do you always manage to hurt yourself? Please be more careful, you have enough scars and bruises as it is.”

You raise your hands in playful surrender as you step into the bath, “I know, I know, I'm sorry.” Hiromi just shakes his head with a smile and welcomes your body against his when you join him within the water. You hum out in satisfaction, your back pressed to Hiromi's chest- your skin warm and pleasant flushed to his. Hiromi noses at the crook of your neck before leaving a fond trail of kisses down the gentle slope. Your hand reaches back as you tilt your head to give him more room, fingers threading through Hiromi's dark hair and scratching his scalp just the way he likes as his lips linger on the scar that curls at your left shoulder. Hiromi closes his eyes and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer still. “How was your day?” He asks against your skin. “You don't want to talk about yours?” You shift slightly in his arms to peer at him where his chin is tucked into your shoulder. “No,” Hiromi tilts his head to gently bump yours, your temples resting against each other's, “I just want to hear about you.”

You don't respond, but Hiromi can feel the way your cheek rises just a bit with your smile.

The next thirty minutes or so are filled with you telling Hiromi how you've spent your uneventful but peaceful day off (“boring is best”, you always say) as the two of you bathe together. It's a routine that you're both familiar with- one that Hiromi holds very dear (and he knows you do as well). You always insist on washing him first, working soap against his skin with a delicate touch and melting away the stress and tension of his day. When it's your turn, Hiromi is never not thorough. He finds it oddly relaxing- cleaning another person's body for them (though, he'd never done such intimate acts with anyone before meeting you so maybe he finds it so comforting because it's you).

His favorite part, though, is when you coax him to rest back into your chest and wash his hair. Tonight is no different.

Your hands do wonders. How you aren't the most famous massage therapist in the world, Hiromi has no idea (but he's more than happy to keep your talents for himself, anyways). Your fingers work through his hair with a touch that could rival that of an angel's. The clean and woodsy smell of Hiromi's shampoo fills the air as you knead his sensitive scalp, the heavenly combination nearly causing him to doze off in the water the two of you sit in. Hiromi's head lulls whichever direction your hands work in and his eyes have long since fluttered shut at the sound of your voice very seriously recounting a nature documentary you'd been absolutely appalled by earlier this evening.

"-and the mother bird won't realize that she's been taking care of a baby that isn't hers! The cuckoo hatches along with her babies and she'll feed them all, but the thing is that the cuckoo is much larger than the others so the mother will focus on feeding them more than her own." You tell him, disturbed by the information you've learned, "The other babies will either starve to death because they aren't getting enough food or be pushed out of the nest by the cuckoo because it needs more room. It's called...oh, what was it?"

"Parasitic brooding..." Hiromi finishes for you, having remembered seeing the term in a book he'd read once.

"Parasitic brooding! That's it!" You frown deeply, "It was really...sad. I know it's just nature, the cuckoo is just doing what its instinct is, but still...I can't help but feel bad for all the birds involved. The baby cuckoo especially."

"The baby cuckoo? How come?"

"...I'm not sure. It's just...the idea of a baby that's planted into a family it's meant to destroy without even knowing..." You trail off long enough for Hiromi's eyes to open and tilt his head back against your chest to see your face. "...It's a scary thought." He correctly words your feelings aloud. "Very." You agree solemnly, absentmindedly shaping Hiromi's hair into spikes. It's a bit surprising to him- how affected you seem by this concept. He's sure there's something there, something complex within you he's yet to uncover. Your relationship was founded and built on patience and trust- both of your backgrounds are complicated enough to have shaped who you are today significantly. And you've both mutually confided in one another about your pasts with time.

Hiromi knows there is still more about your life before him that you haven't told him about. However, he would never dream of trying to push that information out of you. Whatever it is, whenever you are ready to tell him about it, he'll be there for you the whole way. It's a silent promise he'd made to you early on into your friendship that he has no intention of breaking now after three years of being together.

He slowly sits up, turning in the water to face you and cup your face in his wet hand. You lean into his touch with an apologetic and sheepish smile. "Sorry...I was getting too into my head."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"But I'm supposed to be taking care of you today, not the other way around."

"We can take care of each other at the same time, you know." Hiromi reasons, his response being a trill of your lips and a playfully dismissive wave. "Impossible."

With a shake of his head, he kisses your forehead and chuckles against your skin as you snicker along with him. When he leans back, you're beaming up at Hiromi with a smile that will never fail to make the rest of the world just disappear. He breathes your name. "I love you." "I love you, too."

"Keep telling me about the documentary. What else did it talk about?"

"Oh! Did you know that there are families of lesbian lizards?"

•••

Hiromi climbs into bed beside you, letting out the hundredth sigh of the day when he flops face first into the sanctuary of his fluffy pillow. He hears you snicker and coo with sympathy to the side and he can't help but smile. You pull the cool duvet over him before settling in, your hand resting on the nape of his neck and absentmindedly playing with the short dark tufts of hair there. Hiromi turns his head to meet your eyes. The two of you simply stare at each other for a moment. His mind wanders back to the failure of his day- to the look of pure contempt on his client's face when the verdict was given. Will the next time be the same? And the time after that? What about the inevitable case he'd take a year from now? Will he ever make a difference? Is he the kind of person that can even make a difference...?

"What're you thinking about, Hiro?"

“...Do you think I'll ever change anything?”

Your expression is hard for Hiromi to read, even after these years of being with you, but he can see the sympathy in your eyes. There's something else he catches just in the subtle downturn of your thoughtful frown. It's complicated and deep and almost devastating. It's like you've heard these words or asked yourself the same question before, but in a way Hiromi can't seem to grasp. Your palm glides to cup his cheek, thumb stroking the corner of his eye rhythmically. Before he can think any further on it though, the brief glaze to your stare disappears to something he can actually recognize. Love.

“I do.”

There isn't a hint of doubt in your whisper. You continue;

“You are…a righteous, beautiful, and passionate soul with the mind to accomplish anything and everything you want. You're always learning, always watching, always adapting. And I wish- every single day- I wish I could be even half as strong as you are. You're unshakeable, Hiromi.”

Hiromi has never been a very outwardly emotional man. It takes a lot for his heart to bare itself so clearly. Even so, you are easily able to sway him as if it was as simple as breathing- like he is a book with its pages ready and waiting to be read and analyzed by your eyes and your eyes alone. It's a terrifying and exhilarating experience. To be seen, known, and cherished.

“You won't just change anything, Hiromi.” You smile so softly, finger brushing away the tear Hiromi hadn't noticed was falling until your touch. He lifts his hand to cover your own and weaves your fingers together. “You'll change everything. I know it.”

“...How?” His voice is so quiet, he almost doesn't hear it himself…but you hear him.

“Because you're Higuruma Hiromi. And I love you.”

There's such a serene silence that falls between the two of you, Hiromi almost feels like he's caught in a dream. Your skin is painted by the loving strokes of the rising moon’s brush- your eyes sparkle brighter than any mere shooting star that's ever streaked across the night sky. You're ethereal. Hiromi has to question- has to wonder what it is he did in his past lives to have earned the grace that is you. What he does know, though, is that you're here. With him.

And that is more than enough.

The shadows of your and Hiromi's bedroom shift, something darker than the black blanket of night slinking silently across the ceiling. It moves slowly and deliberately- spindly and twisted limbs like the branches of a dying tree moving the bulbous, swollen trunk they are attached to. The damnable thing crawls down the wall the headboard of the bed presses against, making its way closest to Hiromi's side. Its pencil thin neck stretches and cranes with the accompanied sound of crackles and pops (as if stretching bones it does not possess), two wide bloodshot eyes that are much too human yet far too large leer unblinkingly down at the soundly sleeping man just within its reach. Its face holds no features- just a silhouette of a head that is too small compared to its sac-like body. It's like a child's rendition of a giant spider they saw in their nightmares has peeled off paper and grew the size of a car. It stares, drinking in the face of the human who's woe it bore from. His desperation, his sorrow, his guilt, his regrets- all a delectable ambrosia that fills its fat gut. But it is not enough.

There's a soft, almost undetectable sound from it. Like the slow inhale of a dying man that draws on and on and on and on and on, hollow and wheezing and infinite. The space where its mouth should be begins to fall cartoonishly from the upper half of its face, a cacophony of ripping tendons and snapping cartilage growing more and more frequent the more its gaping maw yawns open. It draws closer to Hiromi, jaw unhinging and stretching to the size of Hiromi's upper torso.

Closer. Closer. Closer. Closer.

Creak.

The creature's mouth snaps closed, head shooting up to the sudden sound of something just barely moving to the right. Its wide eyes widen further when it meets the subtly glowing gaze of you. You stare into its very core- shaking the foundation of its being. Your expression is void, yet the unbridled wrath storming in your eyes and lashing through your energy strikes something into the newborn curse. Something so horrible, it cannot truly comprehend how or why you make it feel.

It feels fear.

The curse is fleeing before it realizes, scattering with uncanny speed across the floor and heading straight towards the glass doors leading to the connecting balcony. It crashes through the glass, pieces digging into its fleshy body but it is undeterred. Gnarly fingers wrap around the railing as it heaves its body up, ready to jump over the edge and escape into the night. It watches as its own body suddenly hurdles over the edge of the railing unceremoniously- plunging silently over the edge and disappearing. Its eyes shake as it slowly peers to the side.

"The next time you are born," your voice is soft and even as your fist tightens around its severed neck with a strength that has the curse's eyes about to pop out of its head, your free hand resting over its face, "make sure it isn't by him."

There's a sick, wet, tearing sound- purple residue spraying across the floor of the balcony as you reduce the curse’s head into a ball of meat, raw cursed energy rushing through both parts of its body before exploding in a display of churning blue flame. Any evidence of its existence is instantly eradicated. You look back just as Hiromi is startled awake from the shattering glass, snapping your fingers as the ruined glass door flashes and is fixed in the blink of an eye. Hiromi bolts upright and his head snaps to where you're re-entering the bedroom. "Sorry," you whisper, "did I wake you?"

"Wh-What the hell was that?!" Hiromi asks in panic, eyes flickering around your bedroom to find whatever it was that had awoken him. Guilt picks at your bones as you tilt your head and furrow your brow in feigned confusion. "What was what?" Your boyfriend stares at you like he's trying to decide if he's gone crazy or if you've gone crazy. "Th-That...that sound! It sounded like glass was breaking!" "...Glass? I didn't hear anything, Hiro."

Hiromi blinks a few times, processing your words- his mind running. You can see him thinking. You know that he definitely knows he didn't dream that up, but your reaction clearly makes him question himself. “You're stressed, baby. It was probably just a nightmare.” To ease (and distract) him, you move back into bed, your hand gently cupping his face to turn Hiromi towards you and meet him in a soft kiss. He relaxes with a slow exhale through his nose- you can feel his rapid heart beat calming where you rest your hand over his chest. “C’mere, let's go back to sleep, hm?” You murmur when you pull away, your answer a quiet nod. Hiromi moves with you- your hands gently holding his shoulders to guide him to rest on top of you.

Hiromi sighs as he lays his head on your chest, your fingers threading through his hair and running through his hair to tempt his eyes to fall closed. It's not long until you feel Hiromi's breathing slowly even out like it always does when he sleeps. You glance to the balcony door, releasing your hold on the illusion to assess the damage. There's a giant hole punched right through the now ruined glass door, pieces scattered across the ground (but luckily it's far enough that Hiromi won't accidentally step on the pieces when he wakes up tomorrow). You inwardly groan before setting the false image back into place and shut your eyes.

You'll need to get that fixed tomorrow.