#{ HI DID YOU ORDER SOME TRAGEDY ON THIS FINE WEDNESDAY NIGHT? }

[orangerosebush]

It would have been so funny if Minerva were sometimes a bit mean to Butler (whose friendship she does cherish).

Butler gets a little overly precious about something tedious (i.e. related to Artemis' whims), and Minerva sighs and emails him a PDF of Madame de Sévigné's letter to Madame de Grignan regarding the death of Vatel (with the implication being that Butler is similarly running himself ragged due to his rigidity).

(ENG trans.:

It's Sunday, April 26th. This letter won't be going out until Wednesday, though it's not a letter. Moreso, it's a report that Moreuil has just given me for your benefit concerning what happened with Vatel at Chantilly. I wrote to you on Friday that he had stabbed himself. Now, here's the story in detail. The King arrived on Thursday evening. The stroll, the meal in a place carpeted with daffodils -- they were just right.

Yet, Vatel was seized by a situation, and said several times: “I've lost my honor. This is an affront I won't stand".

He said to Gourville: "My head is spinning. I haven't slept for twelve nights. Help me give orders."

Gourville reassured Vatel as much as he could.

On a prior night, the roast had been missing. Though its absence was thankfully not at the king's table, but rather at the twenty-fifth table, the incident kept coming back to his mind.

Gourville told the Prince of Vatel's woes.

The Prince went to Vatel's room and said to him: “Vatel, all is well. Nothing was as beautiful as the king's supper.”

Vatel replied: “My Lord, your kindness is killing me; I know that the roast was missing from two tables."

"Not at all,” said the Prince; "Don't trouble yourself further. Everything's fine."

Then, midnight came. The fireworks failed. They were covered by a cloud -- sixteen thousand francs, all for nothing.

At four o'clock in the morning, Vatel searched everywhere, finding everyone asleep. Finally, he met the vendor who was supposed to bring the fish for the coming feast. Finding that the man had brought him just two loads of fish, Vatel asked him, “Is that all?"

"Yes, sir," the man said. He didn't know that Vatel had sent to all the seaports.

Vatel waited for some time, but the other vendors did not arrive. His head was spinning. It struck him that this might be all the shipments they would receive.

Vatel found Gourville, moaning: “Sir, I will not survive this shame.”

Gourville laughed at him.

Vatel went up to his room, put his sword against the door, and put it through his heart. Yet, it was only on the third blow he expired, for he gave himself two wounds that were not mortal. Finally, he fell dead.

It was then that the shipments of fish, however, came in from all the vendors upon whom Vatel had called.

Everyone sought out Vatel. When people finally went to his room, knocked, and broke down the door, they found him drowning in his own blood. They ran to the Prince, who was in despair.

The Duke wept; Vatel had been the focus of his entire trip to Burgundy.

The Prince told the King very sadly, "It was said that this tragedy was by dint of having honor in his own way."

Vatel was praised highly. His strength was praised and blamed.

The King said he had been putting off coming to Chantilly for five years because he understood the excess of this embarrassment. He told the Prince that he should only have two tables, and not take charge of everything. The King swore that he would never again allow the Prince to do so.

But: it was too late for poor Vatel.

Gourville, however, tried to repair Vatel's loss.

The tragedy was repaired. We dined very well, had a snack, supped, strolled, played, went hunting. Everything was scented with daffodils. Everything was enchanted. ")

[huntershowl]

@cordiibus​​ said:

❛ thanks for playing with me. ❜ ( shuni !! )

hit ‘em where it hurts. ( accepting )

TRICKSTER’S SURPRISINGLY LIGHT in hellhound’s arms as she ducks behind the side of a dumpster to avoid another burst of machine-gun fire. there’s no one left to cover – bodies litter the alley serving as her last garrison here – and there’s no time to set them down and wreak havoc as the hound was meant to do. anger falls away in the face of cold, desperate fear as she sets shuni gently down on the ground. their body is riddled with wounds. what color were their clothes before this? red? blue? whatever it was, they’re soaked through with blood now, black and clinging to their rapidly-paling skin. it’s a miracle they’ve survived this long, but seph will take any miracle she can get at this point. her hands make quick work of pressing handkerchiefs and washcloths to the bullet holes ravaging her friend’s body. but god, she can’t press against them all, and within seconds, her hands are soaked through too –– that’s when they speak. quiet and hoarse, their voice barely audible above the gunfire, they mutter their soft thanks to the panicked figure above them. ❝ shuni, ❞ seph says, their name leaving her mouth for the first time. ❝ shuni. look at me. i’m not gonna let you die. ❞  even as she says it, she knows it’s a promise she can’t keep. shuni is fading, clever, lovely shuni, and all persephone can do is hold her hands to their wounds and say their name.  ❝ look at me, shuni. ❞ ❝ please, shuni. ❞ ❝ don’t fucking leave me, shuni. ❞

[antique-teacups]

sunshine in L.A.

A/N: kind of an original character piece but also not entirely.  i just was having a great time writing! hope you folks enjoy!

word count: 3k

There was something about her twenties that never felt quite right, worn like a sweater a size to large. She watched as her friends floated from relationships and friendships seamlessly, while she felt caught. In what exactly, she wasn’t sure. Part of her hoped with time that feeling would fade, become background static instead of pumping along with her heartbeat. Going with the current, she did exactly what was expected of her. Attended college, albeit a community college, but college none the less. Part time work covered what financial aid wouldn’t, even scraping enough together to buy a beater car.

Time drifted on and the feeling stayed, haunting and hollow. Avoiding the problem didn’t lessen its size but it never grew. In the back of her mind constantly. Social media was the worst part, watching her friends flourish and flower, while it took everything in her to remain sane and present. Two years flew by in the blink of an eye and she were left with a tiny degree she was not sure she really wanted. When the opportunity did present itself, she knew it was one she could not possibly pass up.

She knew that even in L.A these demons could surface but maybe the constant sun could choke them out. Packing her meager belongings into the back of her car, she pointed it in the direction of L.A. Whether she actually ended up in the sunshine state wasn’t the point, but rather, it was to get out. Stop the cycle before it became the only focal point of her life. It took longer than it should’ve, she passed the days slowly. Each spent behind the wheel simply heading west.

L.A. was a zoo. She worked your way through the city with fascination and hopefulness. She was certain of one thing and uncertain of many. She hoped to write but was willing to do just about anything to make money. Well, just about anything, she still harbored some self-respect.

L.A. had of a way of worming its way into your heart, no matter how shitty people made it seem. Each self-respecting L.A citizen hated the city as much as they loved it. She found a decent studio apartment, managed to get a job as a barista quickly, and spent the first month slinging caffeine in the daytime and writing into the wee hours of the morning. Cash was always tight, considering she did live in one of the most expensive cities, but there was semblance of happiness. It was clawing it’s way in on the edges of her life.

The customers were not particularly strange, at least not always. There were a couple of memorable moments, but most days passed by in monotony. She knew customers by their orders, not names. These small moments between the register and picking up their coffee offered she a small window into their world. These hints they dropped left her wondering about their lives outside their order and these four walls. Who were these people who flocked to the shop like cattle to slaughter?

She certainly played favorites, every barista did, with both customers and coworkers. There were those who made the days a little brighter. The first was her coworker James. Somewhere in his twenties like her but an old soul. He came to work in sweaters, cooper rimmed circular glasses, and disheveled hair on the daily. He was welcoming and warm and chased away some of the darkness.

The two of them became instant friends. He would wait after work to hang out, get drinks on the weekend, and spend Sunday brunch complaining about his hangover. At first, she was confronted with the concern that maybe he was worming into her life in hopes of it ending in a relationship, but as soon as she met his boyfriend Scott, that fear was put to rest. In a way, she chose the two of them as family. She spent countless hours with them, at ease with the way things were.

In James, she confided most of her fears and a lot of her guilt. The backstory of her life surprising him but explaining the front she put up. Tragedy often bores the strongest soldiers. In the year she had been in L.A, James helped her pick up the pieces and put herself together, an unrepayable favor. Thanksgiving was right around the corner and she were destined to spend it with James and Scott.

“James, I’m running to the grocery store after work and if you play your cards right there might just be a bottle of Prosecco with your name on it.” she joked over the espresso machine, a sly smile on her lips. James and her always bantered at work, often to the amusement of the customers and other coworkers.

James matches her smile, “Oh honey, you act like I would actually need to play my cards to get it, I’ve got you wrapped around my finger.” He chuckles and turns back to the drawer. The day was getting late, closing time just mere hours away. She was practically counting down the hours till she could curl up on his couch and binge “New Girl”, the new obsession for the two of them.

“I like to pretend it’s the other way around, but I would admit you are right, James. But besides that, anything else?” she asked, hardly looking at him. There was unspoken communication between you two most days, a glance could tell a story. “I was thinking pizza this fine Wednesday night. But I’m certainly open to suggestions.”

“And break the Wednesday night pizza tradition, how absurd!” James feigns hurt, a hand over his heart and concerned expression painting his face. “The table is already set, we can’t go making changes now, silly girl.”

“Then pizza and prosecco it is. Perfect.” She giggled and sent a curt nod in his direction. The entire conversation was an open invitation for him to change the plans, but he never did. Wednesday night was always reserved for the two of them. They devoured pizza and whatever show they were working on. It was sacred to them both.

The rest of the day passed quickly, the sun just barely setting when she and James locked the shop doors. A brief hug and a quick exchange of words and the two of them were off in opposite directions. A pit stop at the grocery store and then to James’ place. He would order the pizza in, as per tradition. Tasked with grabbing the drinks and whatever bits she needed, she would be to his place shortly.

Her car sat tucked in the back lot, warm from sitting in the sun. Cranking the window open once she had climbed inside, turning on the radio, she set off to the grocery store. It was smaller than most that scattered around L.A, which is why it was her favorite. She did not have to fight the yoga obsessed mothers to get through the aisles or hope the hipsters didn’t pick through the all the good stuff before she got a chance to be there. The old man, who she assumed owned it, knew her by name. Often, he would gift products just a day out of date to her. He did save your ass more than once.

“Charles, what’s the good word for today?” She asked, swinging the door open and nabbing a basket.

Smiling, he gushed, “I beat the finalist in Jeopardy today, but I’m here and he’s there,” shrugging he went on, “I put some of those cookies you like in the back, they went out of date yesterday, Dandelion.” Charles had been using the nickname since she had started coming here. She was totally convinced he had to be her guardian angel. When she asked him where it came from, his response surprised her. “Like the weed, you always come back. You are full of fire and strong. I can see it.” She felt partial to this grocery store. She ended up here for a reason.

“Great, I was craving something sweet all day. Remind me, I have got something for you in my bag before I go. Don’t worry, nothing poisonous.” Jokingly she added.

Charles had a love for Jim Harrison. Often when she was browsing at old bookstores or garage sale’s she would stumble across one for him. He probably owned nearly every single book published by Harrison, but always acted thankful and surprised when she presented him with another. She wanted to make sure he knew how much she appreciated him in a way of more than just saying thank you.

She scanned the aisles looking for the familiar packaging of her favorites. She hardly noticed the boy till she had practically run into his back.

“Another one in Charles good graces, a rare species.” He teased.

Chuckling, “That must mean there are people on Charles bad side, which I highly doubt.” He was home strung, as far as she could tell. Clean cut and not looking for a lot of attention, judging by his all black attire. “I’m assuming you’re one of the lucky ones, too.” She implored.

“Thankfully, I have managed to make my way into one of his chosen few. Even without it, I would still come here. This is the only grocery store where I don’t have to cross my fingers and hope all the good stuff isn’t picked over. Charles seems to have a force field to keep this place hidden. Certainly, the best kept secret of L.A.,” he pauses, searching your face, “you work at the coffee shop on Sunset, Eight-Fold Coffee, right?”

“Guiltily is charged, Mr. iced latte with almond milk,” tapping your temple, “steel trap. I only know people’s drinks, not their names, sorry. I was wondering if you looked familiar or if it was just the lighting.”

Extending a hand, cheekily responding, “David. The name’s David Dobrik, or iced latte if you please.”  His smile was easy and charming, you couldn’t help but stare. His entire posture oozed ease, you couldn’t quite decide if he was trying to flirt or simply be friendly. Of course, that wonderful friend called self-doubt started to crawl its way into your chest, so it was time to go.

Flashing him what you hoped was a friendly parting smile, “Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. It was nice finally meeting in more than just an ‘iced latte with almond milk’ kind of way. I’ll see you around. I have promised the roommate a night in and if I don’t come through, the world might stop turning.” Turning on her heel, tossing David a small wave, she headed for the register. All the things she needed forgotten.

She set the single bottle on the counter and wait for Charles to ring it up. Silence elapses, you lost entirely in your own thoughts.

“Dandelion?”

“Huh, what?” she missed what he asked, cheeks flushing at him catching her in dreamland.

“Lots on your mind today?” Charles inquired, a knowing look on his face.

Smiling and rolling her eyes, “I respect the fishing for a morsel of mind but maybe when inquiring minds aren’t near.” she winks. Digging in your bag, she pulls the book for him, Returning to Earth, out. “I found it at a garage sale this weekend and thought you could add to your collection. But this one, is to expand your horizons.” She pulls The Pleasures of the Damned by Charles Bukowski out. “I’ll need it back but keep it as long as you need, I know where to find you. See you around Charles.” She pays and get ready to go, sneaking one last glance in David’s direction. Grabbing onto her bag with the prosecco and cookies tucked in, she heads for the doors. One last look to the aisles and she can see David still tucked amongst them, scouring for something in the sea. A shake of her head and she is out the doors.

Tossing the bag in the passenger seat, she meanders down the streets towards James. A stampede of thoughts about David comes and goes. It was just mutual acknowledgement that the two of them did in fact kind of know each other. Yet, she found herself wondering if she should tell James about him, see if he had any insight on the guy. The thought felt foolish considering it was just a run in at the grocery store, nothing more.

Charles knew more about her then he let on. He knew her heart was kind but had been through a lot, he knew you were loyal and strong, but he knew also knew when her heart would tell you who to let in. David did not need much from that grocery store, mostly some alone time. His inquiring mind also wanted some more information on the barista who stole his breath away. As he left that day, Charles told him something he would carry with him for a while. “People like her, they guard their hearts, but hers is golden. It won’t always be shut.”

Opening the door to James and Scott’s apartment, she could smell the pizza. Her mouth was already watering. James rounded the corner into view between the small kitchen and living.

“I was beginning to wonder if you bailed.” He poked.

“On you, never.” Rolling her eyes.

“I am almost flattered.” He made for the bag in her hand, noticing the cookies right away. “Charles treats you like your one of his own grand kids. One of the people placed on that golden list.”

“About Charles coveted list, I ran into a guy from the coffee shop. David? Iced latte with almond milk, dresses like an unemployed ninja. Do you know anything about him?” She asked trying to keep the hopeful tone from her voice.

James searches her face before continuing. “A sudden interest in a customer, more like prominent interest. I’ve noticed the favorites you play with him.” He flashes you a joking grin. “I don’t know much about him honestly. I’ve heard whisperings from the other baristas that he has some youtube channel, not much else. He seems nice.” Bumping his shoulder with hers, “It wouldn’t hurt if you tried to be friends with him. It’s not a crime to branch out. I would not be insulted if you did. I worry that maybe you don’t because I take up a lot of your time.”

“Certainly not, you take up a perfect amount of my time. I just, remember how hard it is for me to be friends with people, I guess. I am a lifelong hermit. Plus, if he’s doing that whole ‘social media career’, he might not be the kind of friend I want.” Socializing was never her strong suit and if David’s preferred choice was blasting his life across the platforms, maybe she would take a pass.

The two of you vegged out on the couch way past what was a reasonable time, both scheduled to open tomorrow. He was on her mind all night, the little she knew about him had her mind doing circles. He seemed innocent enough, a good guy if Charles liked him.

 The sun shown through the windows all morning, bringing a warming light to the coffee shop. All day you hoped he would pop in, yet, it went unanswered. Clocking out, she nabbed her notebook and a mug of coffee, making her way to the bank of windows along the window. She tried to keep her mind from wandering, yet it seemed impossible. Perhaps she scared him off.

“I figured you were a writer. Nobody suggests poetry books, Bukowski especially, unless they are a writer. Or terribly sad, but judging by the notebook, I’d say the first.” David said, standing next to you bathed in the afternoon sun. He looked as though he just woke up but in a delicious way. His hair was messy and his eyes warm. She could not help but bath in the light emanating from him.

A small smile spread on her lips, “You’re a fan?”

“I saw it on Charles counter on my out yesterday. A simple Google Search did the trick. Guy seems kind of dark for you.” A blush plays on David’s cheeks. “I was hoping to run into you today. Listen, me and my friends are going to this party tonight, would you be interested?”

“Uh,” glancing behind the counter you see James shaking his yes vigorous, “sure, why not?” It seemed in David’s presence, the hole in her chest seemed to lessen some.

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 11)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Warning: mentions of sex

She Said

Having had such a lovely day at the beach, Keanu offered to take me and the kids back there again on Sunday.  We headed out early  as we didn’t know if it would get crazily busy.  It was a bit more off the beaten track than the LA beaches that were on the evening news, heaving with people not distancing from each other and the kids always wake early so it was no hardship really.

Keanu came into his own at the beach having seemingly endless energy for games, swimming and bodysurfing. By 3pm, our energy was waning  and I could feel the saltiness on my sun-drenched skin and that wonderful tiredness from being out in the fresh air all day. We headed home and the children were asleep on the back seat in under 10 minutes.  

 “we’ve beaten them for once thanks to you” I grinned.

Back at my house the kids revived enough for a quick dinner of pasta with pesto before a little quiet time in front of the TV then stories and bed. We each took a kid for a story and met up in the living room afterwards. I was down first and set some music playing from my phone on the speakers.

The music was being selected at random from my playlist. Just as Keanu got down after finishing Miguel’s story, a familiar tune started up.  Keanu laughed out loud as the simple piano notes of “This never happened before” started.

“Really?”

“I swear it’s just on random selection!”

“OK, I believe you – so do you wanna dance”

There was no need to answer that as he well knew! As we moved to the music, I can’t deny that I was thinking about that scene as I nestled into his chest and slid my arms up and around his neck. We were soon kissing, sooner than him and Sandra I think! I was utterly lost in the moment and his kisses until I heard a creak from the corner of the room. We both heard it and pulled away from each other, startled but there was nothing there ……. or so we thought.

He said

Our family day at the beach was idyllic and we managed to avoid the crowds and the paps as far as we were aware. And there was nothing to see from a Pap point of view anyway as we were playing it cool in front of the kids.

The day left my skin taught from the sun, sea and wind and I had that lovely tiredness you feel from a full day of outdoor fun. In the evening we danced and kissed to “It Never Happened Before” which was both weird and lovely. Our dance was cut short though when we heard a noise  - the moment was lost and I realised as well just how tired I was so decided to head home. We each had a busy week ahead so I likely wouldn’t see her until the following weekend. If she could arrange a sleepover for the kids, maybe there was a chance  she might be feeling ready to take the next step by then.

Then, on Tuesday evening I had an interesting call from Sophia

“So I have some news”

“Oh yeah what?”

“So Eva asked me today if you were my boyfriend!”

“Oh, right, how did she figure that out?”

“Well, when she told Julie that she had seen us kissing ..”

“What?!”

“Yup, anyway so Julie said you must be my boyfriend if you were kissing me!”

It turned out that when we were dancing and heard that little noise, Eva had forgotten her doll and popped downstairs to get it and had glimpsed us dancing and kissing. She’d then told Julie who’d obviously asked Sophia about it.

“So what did Julie say”

“Well she said that all the other bubble mums had totally realised why I wanted you to join the bubble and knew it wasn’t because you were lonely”

“Are we that transparent?”

“Well obviously I am! They said they knew I’d been mooning over you for at least 6 months!” She chuckled as did I.

“And Julie also made us an offer”

“Oh yeah what kind of offer, does she want paying off to keep the secret?”

“No don’t be ridiculous  - that’s a given. What happens in the bubble, stays in the bubble OK? No,  she said that next week when it’s her school day she’ll keep my 2 overnight and take them to the next mom so we can have a couple of days and a night together. Are you free Tuesday, Wednesday?”

In an instant I said I was.

“You can’t have checked your diary that quickly!”

“Well if there’s anything in it, I’ll move it – or my PA will!”

She burst out laughing at that

“OK Boss. Sooooo it’s a date then”

“Yup, a special date”

She Said

Being discovered like that was a blessing but since it also accelerated the big moment, it filled me with nerves - excitement too but mainly nerves.

I think Keanu sensed my nerves as each time he called and asked what I wanted to do during the day, I was struggling to think, almost paralysed by what was going to come next!

“Look, let’s focus on the rest of the day OK, I can tell you’re worrying about, you know, the rest of our plans but try not to please.  I want to please you, OK and I think you want that too right?”

“Yes, of course”

“So everything will fine if we relax and focus on that OK?”

“OK”

So he took over and suggested another bike ride up PCH and a short hike, maybe around Topanga Canyon before going back to his house. He then said we could order take-out from one of his favourite restaurants, Georgio Baldi sending me the menu to choose ahead of the day.

The time we had before our date allowed me to buy some new underwear – I definitely hadn’t thought about underwear in a sexy way for 3 years at least so it was fun to choose something new though I ended up ordering several different sets online because there was no option to go to an actual shop and try things on. I was going to wear my yellow sun dress for our dinner  - I had in inkling he liked it on me. I did see him in person too before our actual date since there were PA tasks that required me to be at his house on some days but we mostly kept to business unless I was there for lunch when we’d take a break and share a meal on the patio together.

When Tuesday came at last, his choice of the ride and hike turned out to be just what we needed to relax and enjoy each other’s company and the great outdoors instead of everything being focussed on what was going to happen later.  We made it up to one of the canyon’s best viewing points by lunchtime and sat looking over the spectacular views to the city and the sea.  We had stopped on our way for sandwiches from Keanu’s favourite deli that was fortunately still open for take out, stowing them in a cool bag in one of the paniers on the bike. He had all the gear for the touring bike that made things comfortable for a day out. We spent a good half hour of our time at the viewpoint talking sandwiches! He’d gone for a BLT because it needed to travel OK but if we’d been eating straight away he’d have gone for a hot pastrami sandwich instead he told me, lovingly describing the relishes and gherkins he’d include. He sure can talk with passion and knowledge about his food preferences for someone who really doesn’t cook!

After a little more hiking up at the canyon after lunch, we made our way back to his house where we cooled off in the pool for a while.  Now we were properly alone, not to mention not wearing many clothes, Keanu took his opportunity to get up close and personal. I was resting against the pool side, eyes closed leaning my head back and enjoying the sun while he did a few lengths. I noticed that the splashing had stopped and opened my eyes but couldn’t see him. A moment later I gasped as he popped up from the water right in front of me having swum a length underwater. He was delighted at my surprised reaction and leaned in to kiss me, pinning my arms back against the edge of the pool. My legs instinctively went up around his waist and I could already feel his hard on pressing against me as he looked hotly down at my cleavage and groaned.

“Sorry, I’m being like a horny teenager aren’t I?”

I giggled at that, he was so sweet and playful so in that way, yes, he was young in attitude but he had none of the horrible demanding nature of a real teen.

“Nahhh, horny teens are pushy, you’re just needy I guess”

“Yup, why don’t we get out and get showered and changed ready for dinner. The restaurant delivery is due in around an hour so we can have the crostini out here with some champagne”

He hopped out of the pool and helped me out too.

“You trying to get me drunk Reeves, coz I can tell you, you don’t need to”

“Nope, just trying to please you, like we said”

“OK then”

I was smiling as I headed to his room and the shower while he set the dinner table and got drinks chilling.

  @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles  

[lovelyirony]

"Maybe I’ll see you in another life/if this one wasn’t enough" from Florence + the Machine prompt lists, for winter13, please?

Sharon is no stranger to knowing tragedy. She sees the way Aunt Peggy’s lips curve up and fall slightly when she talks about knowing Steve Rogers. It’s a life that is not defined, not confirmed. But there was possibility. Sharon knows about possibilities. 

When she’s eighteen, she sees him. 

Winter Soldier. 

The legend that Peggy tells her about. 

“I’m not supposed to be telling you,” Peggy whispers. Sharon knows more about SHIELD than she should, but Peggy’s soft when it comes to Sharon. She knows Sharon’s destiny, knows that she needs to know more than the average recruit when she goes into the organization. 

“Be careful,” Peggy says. “The Winter Soldier isn’t a myth. He’s real. They remade a man into what they wanted, and that’s...Sharon, you know how dangerous that is.” 

She does. She knows that this person, whoever they are, will not hesitate to kill. He won’t listen to any pleas or bargains, because that’s not in his code. He will not stop, will not stray from the mission, and will not look at you--he will look through you. 

Her graduation present from her parents is a trip to Europe. She gets to visit Vienna and learn all about old history, carefully taking note of suspicious characters. Peggy has come along to tell her all about World War II and the history of it, rare smiles gracing her face as she explains a prank Sergeant Barnes pulled on the rest of the division or the time Dum-Dum messed up ordering food. 

They see him. 

Winter Soldier is not on a mission for Director Carter--or rather, former Director Carter. He’s on a mission for someone else. 

“We need to follow him,” Peggy says. “Sharon, get the car.” 

Sharon has never driven in Europe before. But she manages just fine as she nervously presses on the gas pedal and they zoom forward. Winter Soldier is chasing after someone, and someone who knows it. 

Aunt Peggy sees red hair and pauses. 

“Sharon, get out of the car. Let me drive.” 

- 

Sharon is not allowed to tell her parents that she met Black Widow, or that Peggy dented the car hood by attempting to run over the Winter Soldier. 

She also does not tell anyone about the fact that as she opened the car door for Black Widow and her charge, that Winter Soldier tore off his goggles and stared. 

That was...unsettling. His eyes were brilliant. She could tell they were a light color from a hundred feet off. 

“This your girl?” Natasha Romanoff asks Aunt Peggy. 

“Yes.” 

“I’m impressed,” she says. “Welcome to SHIELD, Sharon.” 

“I’m not inducted in yet.” 

“You might as well be, facing off the Winter Soldier,” she says with a snort. “Come on. Peggy, we need to start training.” 

Sharon starts during college. She still goes to college, although her heart is not completely in it. She finishes her classes with passing grades, gets a degree in sociology, and moves on. 

Natasha trains with her and she becomes skilled as all hell. 

She still dreams of light eyes staring through her. The dreams are more like nightmares as they get closer and closer. 

- 

She sees him again when she’s in New York helping out with protection at an undercover science delegation meeting. Some of the most influential scientists are the ones you never hear about. Sure, they have published papers, but they also have papers that never see the light of day because it would change the fabric of reality as everyone knows it. 

Winter Soldier doesn’t spare her a glance, not until she launches herself at him to knock him into an alley. 

“Stop,” she hisses. 

Sharon didn’t think this through. She most definitely is not on his skill level, and they both know it. 

“Let me go,” he says, voice almost dead. “I have a mission.” 

“So do I,” she says, “and it involves stopping someone like you.” 

“You miss the point of my existence,” he says, almost robotically. “I am not a someone. I am a something.” 

“You know the difference. Robots don’t,” Sharon says, dodging a fist that goes slamming into concrete. “Now back the hell off.” 

In all of the missions that Winter Soldier can recount, (oh yeah, they’ll let him remember the decapitation but not his own fucking birthday. Classic) most of the agents that are sent to stop him are not this bold. 

Because a.) they realize in the moment that they are outmatched and outclassed in every way that matters, and b.) they have accepted death. 

Not this girl. No, she’s young and she’s fierce but she knows...she knows something. 

This gets him distracted. 

And this allows Sharon to be able to slash a knife down his leg, and it’s not the kind of cut that allows continuation to be done. He would survive, but this is gonna slow him down. 

Begrudgingly, she has his respect. 

- 

He doesn’t tell his handlers about her. He doesn’t know why. Usually he’s fine with revealing anyone who got in his way, and usually someone catches onto the fact that he’s lying and make his brain circuits go pop. But not...not this time. 

They believe the fact that a spare part from a crashed car knicked his leg as he jumped down. They stitch him up, give him a good old brain wipe, and send him to the freezer. He’s not sure when the next year will be, if they’ll even let him out again. 

(There’s a joke about rent insurance in there somewhere.) 

-

Sharon cut the Winter Soldier. She fucking cut the guy who people said would kill you. She got away. 

This isn’t something you brag about. She could but then she’d be an asshole who everyone at the office hates. And instead of them stealing Rumlow’s lunch once a week, it’d be her. 

And she likes that Rumlow keeps bringing quality food. 

She doesn’t tell anyone. Well...Peggy doesn’t count. 

Peggy is riveted, on the edge of her seat. 

“You didn’t,” Peggy swears. “You didn’t!” 

“I did,” Sharon responds. “But I don’t know what he told whoever he works for. I could be dead, Peggy.” 

“Nonsense,” Peggy scoffs. “It’s been more than a week, correct?” 

“A month.” 

“You just told me this today?! And it’s been a month?!” 

“...I didn’t want you to worry.” 

“If you had told me the day of, I would have worried. But if they haven’t sent anyone to kill you, your little escapade is safe. Although it does make me curious...” 

They sip on tea for a while longer and laugh about Sharon’s father, who is fretting about Sharon all over again. It’s a bi-monthly occasion, very entertaining for Peggy, who knows that Sharon knows a little over a hundred ways to incapacitate someone who’s up against her. 

Sharon kisses Peggy goodbye. 

- 

Winter Soldier is woken up for another mission. 

He remembers a woman with blonde hair and a firm ask for him to “stop.” 

There’s a feeling that she’s important. There’s a feeling that Hydra doesn’t know anything about her. 

He’s sent to make sure that SHIELD is destroyed. 

Great. This is gonna go fantastically, he’s sure. 

-

Sharon really knows what’s going on. Peggy had her suspicions, and made sure that Nick Fury thought outside the box. Hell, that he thought outside the universe. She knew that SHIELD would never be pure of intention. Peggy never was, why would her organization be? Humanity isn’t either. 

She knows that Hydra is inside SHIELD and it’s looking for Captain America to be its first example. 

Do they know it’s a Wednesday? Like honestly, it’s a Wednesday. It’s two p.m. She thought she would get herself a pizza tonight, make a wine night. Wine Wednesday. It would’ve been fun. Maybe Natasha could’ve come. 

But no, Hydra decided they wanted to eliminate threats they couldn’t control so now she’s on the run from the guy the next office space from hers and has to deal with Rumlow bitching about people stealing his sandwiches. 

“Your own fault!” Sharon yells, swiping his feet from under him. “You’re also just annoying as fuck!” 

She then has to run. 

She knows that Natasha and some special agent who was in the flight division are helping Steve and maybe Maria. Probably Maria. They wouldn’t have gotten as far as they had if Maria wasn’t in on it or if she was Hydra. 

God, if Maria Hill was Hydra...

Couldn’t think about that travesty now. She has a world to save. 

- 

Steve, naturally, has been sort of a disaster. He makes it functional. She sort of wishes that she could make it functional, but she is not able to have that sort of function in her life, unfortunately. 

He’s wearing his old uniform. She doesn’t know why, just that he’s stupid. She doesn’t care how carefully the restoration workers at the Smithsonian have repaired it, she knows his levels of stupidity. 

And then he turns. 

Winter Soldier. 

Now, apparently, Bucky Barnes. 

What a kick in the goddamn head. 

She can’t even think. She doesn’t want to think, she just charges and kicks him out a window. 

Steve slams the card in, they save the world, and she’s diving after a man with a metal arm. Metal is also falling from the sky, so you could imagine the level of difficulty she is under. 

But she finds him. He’s a heavy guy as she lugs him to the shore, waiting for him to wake up. 

“Who the--?” He’s coughing out water, trying to get up. 

“I’d suggest you take a vacation,” Sharon says. “I think you have a lot of days saved up.” 

Sharon doesn’t know why she leaves him there. She really doesn’t understand why she doesn’t just say “hey, come with me,” and then he decides to join SHIELD and Steve and him can bond over not understanding music apps. 

But he needs to have time to himself, she reasons. 

“You’re insane,” Natasha says to Sharon. Steve is trying to visit Sam and hang out, so they’re doing their own thing. “You let him go?” 

“He needed to find his own life,” Sharon says. “You know Steve likes to define what he knows, and he knows Bucky Barnes. But I think Bucky Barnes isn’t really a sure thing right now. So we’ll find out.” 

“Okay.” 

“Hey. If I’m meant to have him in this life, great. If not, then that is what it is,” Sharon says. 

- 

She doesn’t know that Barnes did not hop a plane to Europe. Not yet, anyway. 

No, he’s a block away in an abandoned office building. He’s not sure what he’s doing, just that he doesn’t want to leave anything yet. 

She may hold answers. Answers that he wants. 

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Devil’s No 1(7)

Chapter 7: Abundance

Loki x fem!Reader, Bucky x fem!Reader

Theme: The definitions of devils, angels, demons etc. are twisted here in this world. But some things remain the same.

Series: Will contain violence, death, destruction, softness, fluff, smut, everything that my mind can conjure, really.

Chapter warnings: None... is a kink a warning?

A/N: This was written two years ago (I think) on @phantomrose96 ‘s prompt/situation of a shy girl summoning the devil to be friends with him (and something else that he does but I’ll leave that part out for you guys to have fun with). But I- being thirsty for tragedies- twisted things a little.

Word Count: Work tomorrow. ugh! Sundays always make me feel lonely. So lonely. I need a hug.

MASTERLIST in bio, love. Tags are open

credits to @russian-hiddlestoner for the picture

It was a journey. Through a tunnel, maybe? Or something deeper in the ground. Well, that's what it felt like. Like when you travelled in a train and passed a junction, or where the tracks met, maybe even a tunnel there! That was how you were feeling. Or rather, your conscience was feeling? Or should we call it your soul?

Let's just skip to the part where you felt it all and woke up.

...

WAKE UP!

A loud gasp rose from your lungs as your eyes threw themselves wide open.

"There you are," you heard the dark honey voice of the devil himself from somewhere around- hopefully he isn't still inside you, "I was worried about you."

By the layers in Loki's voice, you could clearly tell how he was mocking you but your brain was on too much of a spin to even consider registering that idea right now.

"Ughh," you responded, trying to get up from the sofa. "What happeuuh-" you barely stood straight before feeling yourself falling down again if not for Loki breaking your fall, catching you in his slender but surprisingly strong arms.

"Woah! Now, now. We haven't even had proper drinks yet."

You took the support of his arms- which were eerily stone-like under all that expensive fabric that he was wearing- and scrunched your nose as you stood up, this time slowly. "We had freaking Jagër didn't we?"

"And that's got you so blurry already," he announced, sitting down, and took you by your shoulder with him, causing you to look at him with a bit of a diluted and confused rage, "we really need to work on your drinking capacity."

You don't know who you shared a look with- God, an angel or any entity that was invisible right now- but you were certain of the age-old fact that the devil was not a good influence on you.

"That's the only way I get that thing out of your system."

Now hold on. What was that?

"What? What thing?"

Hmm...maybe not as bad an influence?

"That thing inside you make you all-" he flayed his hands like an English noble while scrunching his nose just a bit- "so depressing and boring."

Your neck hurt having to turn to look at him but your ego was taking none of it. "Excuse me?"

But did he show any empathy for you? Unless that devilish smirk- that was meant kill thousands of weak-hearted earthly creatures when gazed upon- was his way of showing you how he felt for you, he clearly wasn't anywhere close to 'e'.

Oh, what am I even expecting! And from whom?!

Loki turned to you and relaxed into the sofa, his back being supported by the arms of your comfortable furniture.

"So, humans don't count being saved by the devil from a demon empathy?"

The broken harp inside you made the worst possible sound any instrument could.

"Please stop doing that," you begged, turning away from his face, heat radiating from your cheeks from the embarrassment.

"Why?"

"Those are my private thoughts," you tried to stress but your voice broke.

Loki got up and leaned a little closer to you, making you shift a bit to the other side- never stopping him from leaning closer. "Oh but I like hearing how irresistible you find my form," he nearly moans into your ear.

Holy Buddha! Lord of mercy!

"Aw," he pretended to groan- quite seductively though- in your ears, "don't take his name," whispering while moving your stray strands of hair away from your face, "he always kills my party mood by giving me his eerie smile and asking me how I'm doing. Like he cares."

He nearly spat out the last sentence and you sat there with raised brows, wondering what choice had you made that brought you straight in the arms of the devil while he narrated his dislike for Buddha.

"It was a Wednesday and you had your exams that week," Loki began, still playing with your hair.

"No, stop!" You shifted to the other end of the couch, raising your leg over the sofa to block his body, "stop telling me what I chose wrong. Stop telling me how excessively great Buddha is and definitely stop reading my thoughts."

The rims of Loki's eyes light up in a fiery-green glow, looking at you with a tilted curiousness. "Are you ordering me, darling?"

Great. Now he brings his powers in play.

"I am requesting you," you stress, folding your hands in front of him, "this is really uncomfortable and my head hurts and...wait." The tone of your voice changed, so did that pleasing colour in your eyes that Loki was loving till you dropped it wear a hint of confused blue before turning into a suspicious grey. "What exactly did you do inside me?"

"Woah," Loki raised his brow, "I didn't know you were into those kind of...kinks."

You looked like a sad confused potato till it dawned on you how of context the devil was taking your words.

"Seriously? I am dying here from this unending pain and all you can think of is sex jokes," you nearly shout with whatever energy you have left inside you.

Loki flicked his finger and within seconds there were vines coming out of the floor, wrapping around your limbs like snakes ready to devour you whole. "Stop," you said with a hint of rage but the vines only grew tighter, beginning to dig into your skin. "Loki, please," you begged this time, watching them force your hands behind your back.

"Loki," you cried softly with just the right amount of fear burning in your eyes. Exactly what Loki wanted.

And so, he finally shifted, fixing his arms around you as his hovering figure came to a stop above you, blazing eyes looking at you with the intensity of burning everything between your skin and his.

"Do not forget, pet," he cooed, too close to you, "that I am the one who holds the chains to your life. And if I want, I can yank them as hard as I please because in the end, your cries will only deliver me pleasure."

You should have been afraid. You should have been shivering in fear and panic; your heart should have been pounding for watching death right in the eyes. But this scorching sensation that you felt inside you did not seem fear like. The shiver was definitely not because of panic or your nerves feeling this unhinged tide. And all you could do was look at him while blinking with visible stupidity, gulping down something to moisten your dry throat while Loki's eyes seemed to shift.

"See?" He nearly sang, "Now that's the colour I love to see." He inhaled your essence in, moaning as he felt it register inside him, making you question his senses- and for this one very discreet almost 'invisible in the darkness of the moonless night' reason, made you question yours. "Smells like the right amount of fear," he chuckled, "with a hint of something I can't really put my finger on."

Her kink of being tied up and aroused by you! Your insides shouted.

Shut up! Shut up!

"Hm," Loki looked at you with fresh eagerness, nearly killing you with the intensity of embarrassment about to explode inside your head, "I have to say you seem interesting to play with without your thoughts too. So, I'll keep this thing off till as long as I like."

He finally got up and away. You were relieved.

Danggit, your inner voice didn't seem, though, I thought he'll finally kiss you without context!

Awesome, you hit back at her, just the person I want you to be rooting for!

You know if she had a physical form, she would be rolling her eyes at you now because both of you knew you had felt something glow inside your chest- and heat up inside your legs- at the mention of being at his mercy.

Shaking your head, you tried to bring yourself to reality.

No, I am better than this. I have to be.

"So," Loki chugged a glass of your Jager, "what do you want to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm not going to wait for you to decide on getting drunk and all that because I know the moment you hit the limit you will be crying your eyes out and I am not in the mood to ruin my suit for pent up tears tonight," he declared, letting his hands show you the piece of work layering his body, "more critical tears of underpaid labourers and cattle have gone into the making of this."

You shared that look again, with no one, in particular, being done with the devil for the night and yet knowing that there were still so many more hours to go.

"Fine," you got up, realising the vines had long since vanished, leaving barely any scars on your wrists and ankles, "we can go somewhere then? Uhh...someplace you'd like to visit? There's a pizza place here that's open at this time of the night."

You went on and on while Loki's concern for you modified into a chuckle transforming into laughter. "Oh, you poor human. You are about to die in five days and you are still worried about the things I want to see? Honestly, woman, who died and made you the queen of ethics? Wait, is there a course for such things now?"

He wasn't wrong. Because he admitted it right now, it all started to seem more real. You were going to die in five days. He was going to take your soul to hell and God knows do what all with it. Peter's disappearance and your state then had created such a perfect picture for it to make sense but now...

"Are you having second thoughts, darling?"

His words broke you out of this nauseating spell that you cast upon yourself and you found yourself standing in the kitchenette with your shot glass in your hand looking down at the floor where broken glass lay in a puddle of water along with one of your ceramic angels. You picked up the ceramic figurine to look at, a familiar old ache replacing whatever little glow had risen inside your chest.

The angel seemed to be looking at you, begging you not to do this.

"Yes," you finally declared, throwing the figurine in the bin, "I'm sure."

.

The angel on the watch sat by the lake on the lone bench, going through his device, looking at various statistics while someone hummed in the back somewhere, going about its own business.

"And another one and another one and another bites the dust..."

The humming was not as serene for the angel at work as he wanted it to be, but he was trying to get through it somehow. It was a really special person after all. One couldn't just tell him to stop humming.

"Would you stop humming," the angel announced, "I am trying to work here, Peter!"

Everything went silent, letting the angle heave a sigh of relief and go back to his tablet.

The tree behind him rustled before Peter popped out of it upside down. "Whatcha dooooooin', Happy?"

"Tryna' work."

"Can I help?"

"You've helped us already."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. No go cuddle spiders...or something."

"Well, technically our friend did. You know, that woman who goes by the name-"

"Peter I just want a few moments of silence to track down what exactly does Tony want from that stupid-"

"Bad word."

"Excuse me?"

"You said stupid, put some of your essences in the swear jar."

"Yeah, right. That's not gonna happen. Now please just shut u-"

"Oh shoot! Happy-"

"Aha! Now you take out your essence young man and put them in the swear-"

"No, Happy, look!"

The angel followed Peter's gaze to the lake as he watched a figure soaking in it coming out with scars and wounds being healed by the water. The figure- a man, apparently- was heaving for breaths, his glass eyes searching for someone, anyone.

"Hello!" he shouted, the tiredness in his voice abruptly changing his pitch. "Is there anybody there?!"

"Should we let him in?" Peter asked in a whisper.

"Hello! Mr Stark?" he shouted again, catching Happy and Peter's hundred per cent attention, "it's me, Scott. Can you please let me in? There is some very very important news I have to share with you."

Happy turned to his device to open the gate of mirage.

The man, still tired as he was, lit up on seeing Peter and Happy standing in front of him.

"Oh! Thank God!" he almost cried, putting all his energy in his legs to walk towards, "thank you! Thank you so much! I need to s-speak to Tony Stark."

"Identification please," Happy announced, earning a confused stare from Peter.

"Happy, he can barely walk."

"I don't care. Whoever has to meet Tony has to go through me."

"But Happy!"

"It's okay," the man smiled at Peter, still breathing heavily, "it's okay."

"My name is Scott. Scott Lang. I'm Y/N's guardian angel," he declared before falling on the ground and losing all consciousness.

[baromtm-blog]

⋆ ╰  another  year  at  hollingsworth  ,  another  year  of  the  big  six  rivalry  .  i  hear  that  BAROM  BANG  is  ensuring  PHI  GAMMA  IOTA  gets  a  solid  pledge  class  and  stays  at  the  top  of  the  ranks  . oh  ,  you’re  not  familiar  with  HIM  ?  ROMY  is  the  KIM  YUGYEOM  look  alike  from  CHARLESTON  ,  SOUTH  CAROLINA .  apart  of  PC  ‘16  ,  he  is  majoring  in  FINE  /  STUDIO  ARTS  and  has  plans  to  DEBUT  HIS  ARTWORK  AT  A  RENOWNED  MUSEUM  after  undergrad  .  it  makes  sense  they  pledged  their  house  ,  their  SAGACIOUS  &  CHIVALROUS  attributes  make  them  perfect  matches  .  however  ,  their  PUERILE  &  CONCUPISCENT  attributes  keep  their  name  alive  on  greek  rank .  if  you  don’t  catch  them  dancing  to  PLAYING  GAMES  -  SUMMER  WALKER  at  a  fraternity  band  party  this  year  ,  you’ll  be  sure  to  catch  them  nursing  their  morning  hangover  at  THE  LOFT  APARTMENTS  . cheers to  another  wild  semester  !

          hi  babies ,  it’s  ares  again  with  another  muse  !  he  is  a  slight  mash  of  the  chara  i  was  originally  gonna  bring  to  the  group ,  but  decided  that  i  like  this  version  much  better  !  i  won’t  talk  your  ears  off  about  myself  or  anything  since  i  know  this  intro  is  about  to  be  ...  how  do  i  say  ...  lengthy  as  it’s  very  background  /  family  history  heavy .  but  as  always ,  i  can’t  wait  to  write  with  everyone  (  again  !  )  and  i’m  not  ashamed  to  admit  that  j*stin  b*eber’s  ‘ journals  ’  helped  a  lot  with  muse  lmao . i’m  also  a  complete  IDIOT  who  reblogged  the  same  gifset  twice  but  i  refuse  to delete  it  because  yugyeom  is  beautiful ,  don’t  fight  me  on  that .

trigger  warnings :  detailed  talk  of  religion ,  minor  mentions  of  death ,  poor  writing ,  and  sugaring .

korean name  :  bang  ba-rom .

preferred spelling / arrangement  :  barom  bang .

nicknames  :  romy  /  romey  and  romeo  (  by  his  older  sister  only  ) . 

birthday  /  age  :  february  14th ,  1998  /  21 .

zodiac  :  aquarius .

pronouns  :  he  /  him  or  they  /  them .

gender  :  genderfluid .

sexual  orientation  :  bisexual .

romantic  orientation  :  biromantic .

height  :  6′0″  (  six  foot  ,  zero  inches  ) . 

hometown  :  charleston ,  south  carolina .  (  click !  )

current  location  :  savannah ,  georgia .

nationality  :  korean - american .

ethnicity  :  korean .

languages  spoken  :  english ,  korean ,  japanese ,  elementary  latin ,  and  conversational  mandarin .

bang  family  inspo  :  the  greenleafs  (  greenleaf  )  ,  the  gemstones  (  the  righteous  gemstones  )  ,  and  the  osteens .     

          𝖎𝖙  𝖜𝖆𝖘  𝖙𝖍𝖊  𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖗  of  1958  when  𝑘𝑖𝑚  𝑗𝑖-𝑚𝑖𝑛  was  born  in  sydney ,  australia  to  dong-wook  and  sook-ja ,  immigrants  from  seoul ,  south  korea .  the  family  was  small ,  but  loving  as  it  was  fueled  with  love ,  patience ,  and  the  parents’  love  for  the  lord .  ji-min  grew  up  in  a  home  that  was  religious ,  but  not  to  the  extreme ,  as  she  was  expected  to  go  to  bible  study  on  wednesdays  and  attend  service  on  sundays .  dong-wook  and  sook-ja  were  pillars  of  their  community  --  they  hosted  potlucks  after  service ,  always  had  small  cookouts  whenever  they  felt  the  need  to ,  and  they’d  give  the  clothes  off  of  their  backs  if  someone  needed  clothes .  overall ,  the  kims  were  the  neighbors  that  everyone  wanted ,  so  everyone  around  them  was  crushed  when  the  kims  decided  to  leave  behind  australia  for  the  states  --  specifically ,  south  carolina .

          𝖙𝖍𝖊  𝖋𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞  𝖔𝖋  𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊  settled  in  the  city  of  charleston ,  south  carolina  and  during  this  time ,  dong-wook  and  sook-ja  came  up  with  the  idea  to  open  their  own  church .  so ,  in  the  late  1960s ,  songbird  church  was  born .  of  course ,  the  congregation  was  small  (  as  was  the  church  building  itself  )  and  the  kims  paid  their  way  through  divinity  school  in  order  to  become  pastor  and  first  lady  respectively .  through  the  years ,  the  congregation  at  songbird  began  to  grow  to  the  point  where  they  were  able  to  purchase  a  bigger  building ,  and  the  kims  were  once  again  pillars  of  their  community .  during  this  time ,  ji-min  met  a  member  of  the  congregation  named  𝑏𝑎𝑛𝑔  𝑗𝑜𝑛𝑔-𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛  who  was  only  a  year  older  than  the  then  fourteen  year  old .  the  couple  dated  for  four  years  before  getting  married  in  1982 ,  about  four  months  after  ji-min  turned  eighteen .

          𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍  𝖙𝖍𝖊  𝖉𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖕𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙  𝖔𝖋  technology ,  it  was  the  start  of  1986  when  songbird  was  first  televised  and  thus  changed  from  songbird  church  to  songbird  ministries .  dong-wook  and  sook-ja  drew  in  a  large  amount  of  viewers  through  their  channel ,  and  it  was  soon  that  they  were  moving  their  church  once  again  to  a  bigger  building .  ji-min  and  jong-hyun  decided  to  head  off  to  harvard’s  divinity  school  to  help  run  the  church  as  co-pastors .  soon,   the  televised  services  were  being  given  in  english ,  spanish ,  and  korean ,  one  of  the  first  churches  to  do  so .  three  years  later ,  ji-min  and  jong-hyun  welcomed  their  first  child ,  𝒏𝒂-𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏 ,  in  the  winter  of  1989 .  after  the  birth  of  na-yeon ,  the  bangs  were  soon  having  the  second  child ,  a  son  named  𝒋𝒊-𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒐𝒍 ,  in  1993 . 

          (  death  tw  )  𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖇𝖎𝖗𝖉  𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘  𝖍𝖆𝖉  𝖎𝖙𝖘  first  tragedy  when  dong-wook  passed  unexpectedly  from  a  heart  attack  in  1995 .  considering  that  dong-wook  and  sook-ja  never  had  any  other  children ,  the  position  of  lead  pastor  was  given  to  ji-min  and  jong-hyun  was  considered  to  be  the  ‘  first  husband  ’  of  the  church .  sook-ja  took  on  the  role  of  co-pastor  as  she  was  getting  older ,  and  would  often  lead  women’s  retreats  and  things  of  the  sort .  three  years  after  dong-wook’s  unexpected  death ,  jong-hyun  and  ji-min  welcomed  their  third  baby ,  another  son  named  𝒃𝒂-𝒓𝒐𝒎 .  it  was  a  year  later  when  sook-ja  decided  to  formally  retire  from  songbird ,  leaving  the  church  in  the  hands  of  jong-hyun  and  sook-ja .  the  two  of  them  brought  new  ideas  to  the  table  and  soon ,  the  church  grew  even  more  than  it  had  in  its  near  30  years  that  it  had  been  open .

          𝖎𝖓  𝖙𝖍𝖊  𝖘𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌  𝖔𝖋  2000 ,  the  final  bang  baby  was  born ,  a  healthy  baby  girl  named  yuna .  the  family  continued  to  hold  high  positions  within  their  community ,  and  everyone  knew  their  names  wherever  they  went ,  and  in  the  fall  of  2008  the  family  opened  the  doors  of  the  songbird  ministries  campus ,  where  they  were  able  to  seat  16.9k  congregates .  by  this  time ,  na-yeon  was  attending  duke’s  divinity  school  with  aspirations  of  becoming  a  co-pastor  at  songbird  while  ji-cheol  was  a  youth  pastor .  so ,  where  did  that  leave  little  ba-rom  ?

          𝖋𝖗𝖔𝖒  𝖆  𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖌  𝖆𝖌𝖊 ,  barom  knew  that  he  didn’t  want  to  be  a  part  of  songbird .  while  he  did  love  the  church  and  everything ,  he  knew  that  being  a  pastor  wasn’t  in  the  cards  for  him .  much  like  many  middle  children ,  barom  felt  like  he  was  often  overlooked  or  ignored ,  so  his  parents  didn’t  really  pay  much  attention  as  he  did  what  he  wanted  to .  it  didn’t  help  that  na-yeon  would  often  cover  for  him .  barom  was  the  child  who  only  embraced  his  church  boy  image  when  it  was  necessary  for  him ,  and  when  he  reached  high  school  and  would  often  find  himself  sitting  across  from  the  principal ,  his  favorite  phrase  was  ‘  don’t  you  know  who  my  parents  are  ?  ’   barom ,  even  though  he  was  often  overlooked ,  was  ridiculously  spoiled  by  his  parents .  during  his  summers  away  from  charleston ,  he  was  often  spending  time  at  the  family’s  summer  house  in  the  hamptons  or  when  winter  break  rolled  around  he  was  jetting  off  to  the  aspen  mountains  for  some  snowboarding .

          𝖉𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌  𝖍𝖎𝖘  𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖍 ,  𝖇𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖒  had  an  affinity  for  the  arts ,  particularly  fine  arts .  he  liked  going  to  museums ,  he  enjoyed  getting  new  art  supplies  for  christmas  or  his  birthday ,  and  he  often  took  home  first  place  whenever  he  entered  into  his  school’s  art  competitions .  this  explains  why  after  he  graduated  from  high  school ,  he  began  to  look  into  art  programs  at  various  schools .  the  summer  before  attending  college  (  ultimately  at  hollingsworth  u.  )  barom  goes  off  to  italy  to  take  a  summer  long  art  course .  he  was  staying  in  venice  and  spent  most  of  his  days  sketching ,  painting ,  and  making  memories  until  he  encountered  a  man  a  few  years  older  than  him .  at  only  twenty  six ,  the  man  was  wealthy  and  liked  to  flaunt  it ,  especially  with  a  wide - eyed  barom .  they  spent  time  on  the  man’s  yacht ,  partying  with  other  wealthy  italian  locals .  funnily  enough ,  at  that  time ,  barom  only  wanted  one  thing  from  the  man  --  his  money .

          𝖔𝖋  𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖘𝖊 ,  𝖇𝖆𝖗𝖔𝖒  𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉  pay  his  own  way  and  do  whatever  he  wanted ,  but  there  was  something  about  being  able  to  bat  his  eyelashes  and  make  someone  weak  in  the  knees  that  made  him  feel  powerful .  in  essence ,  barom  had  become  a  sugar  baby ,  and  he  was  perfectly  content  with  that .  no  one  could  tell  him  no ,  and  boy  was   he bratty  if  they  even  attempted  to .  the  summer  comes  to  a  close  and  he’s  back  stateside  to  attend  his  first  year  of  college ,  and  all  goes  well .  during  this  time ,  barom  decides  to  pledge  phi  gamma  iota ,  the  epitome  of  nice  boy  frats ,  but  barom  was  nothing  close  to  a  nice  boy .  during  his  second  semester ,  barom  became  involved  with  his  second  sugar  daddy ,  a  rolling  in  dough  man  in  his  forties  who  was  bound  to  take  over  his  father’s  oil  company  in  texas .  the  man  was  on  vacation  in  savannah ,  ga  (  with  his  wife ,  no  less  )  when  he  encountered  barom  at  a  lively  nightclub  in  town .  he  may  have  only  been  eighteen ,  but  barom  soon  had  the  man  tipsy  and  wrapped  around  his  finger ,  whispering  sweet  nothings  into  his  ear  while  getting  what  he  wanted . 

          𝖙𝖍𝖊  𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖍𝖎𝖕  𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖚𝖊𝖉  𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓  after  the  man  returned  to  texas ,  but  that  didn’t  stop  barom  from  going  to  live  his  best  life  in  new  york  over  the  summer .  once  again  he  spent  time  focusing  on  his  art  in  a  new  city ,  but  he  also  found  himself  playing  the  same  tricks  on  a  man  in  his  thirties ,  who  became  trapped  under  barom’s  thumb  with  only  a  few  kisses  on  his  neck  and  his  skilled  usage  of  his  ‘  fuck  me  ’  eyes .  out  of  the  sugar  daddies  that  he’s  had ,  the  one  from  new  york  was  the  only  one  that  he  had  ever  been  intimate  with .  to  barom ,  this  one  was  a  bit  different  for  whatever  reason  and  the  two  decided  one  night  to  go  out  to  an  upscale  club  in  manhattan .  the  two  sipped  alcohol  until  the  early  morning  hours ,  soon  leaving  the  venue  so  wrapped  up  in  one  another  that  they  missed  the  paparazzi  lingering  outside  (  did  i  forget  to  mention  that  his  man  was  ahem  ...  ~famous  ?  ) .  so  anyways ,  some  risque  photos  of  the  couple  get  taken  due  in  part  of  these  fools  not  letting  up  the  window  to  their  car  (  nothing  bad ,  but  let’s  just  say  that  barom  looked  as  though  he  was  thoroughly  enjoying  himself  ) .

          𝖙𝖍𝖊  𝖌𝖚𝖞  𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖘  𝖚𝖕  ending  their  relationship  when  he  gets  blackmailed  for  them ,  and  maneater  barom  had  his  heart  broken  for  the  very  first  time .  thus ,  when  he  returns  to  #hworth  for  his  junior  year  ,  barom  avoided  getting  another  sugar  daddy  for  an  entire  year .  he  focuses  on  his  fraternity ,  schoolwork ,  and  really  buckles  down  on  his  art .  his  junior  year  goes  well ,  but  an  old  dog  won’t  learn  new  tricks ,  so  the  summer  before  his  senior  year ,  barom  picks  up  his  fourth  (  and  most  current  )  sugar  daddy ,  a  guy  who  lives  in  buckhead ,  atlanta  and  honestly  don’t  ask  me  why ,  but  i  picture  him  as  a  young  matthew  mcconaughey .  again ,  DON’T  ask  me  why .

          𝖆𝖘  𝖋𝖔𝖗  𝖍𝖎𝖘  𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 ,  barom  is  quite  wise  for  his  age ,  and  he  partly  blames  that  on  the  fact  that  he  grew  up  in  the  church .  if  you’re  in  need  of  some  sound  advice ,  he’s  your  man ,  but  he’s  gonna  beg  you  not  to  ask  as  well .  despite  his  sugaring  ways ,  he  is  also  very  independent  and  likes  to  do  things  on  his  own .  his  family  may  have  provided  him  with  the  best  of  things  ranging  from  maids ,  butlers ,  and  a  slew  of  foreign  cars ,  but  he  liked  to  do  things  on  his  own .  he  found  doing  his  laundry  or  washing  his  dishes  after  dinner  as  quite  therapeutic ,  and  he’s  still  the  same  way  to  this  day .  negatively  speaking ,  barom  can  be  very  childish ,  but  i  would  say  leaning  more  on  the  bratty  side .  as  a  man  who’s  used  to  getting  his  way ,  being  told  no  will  turn  him  into  a  pouty  baby  in  no  time  and  he’s  the  worst  because  i  swear  he’ll  sit  in  the  middle  of  the  floor  and  pout  until  someone  says  yes .  he  can  also  be  lewd  in  his  speech  and  it  mostly  stems  from  the  fact  that  he  is  extremely  confident  with  his  sexuality .  it’s  even  worse  when  he’s  had  alcohol  --  this  is  when  he  gets  more  relaxed  and  he’s  more  likely  to  start  turning  those  sweet  nothings  to  tender  touches  and  soft  kisses .  also ,  you  should  know  that  he’s  the  biggest  blackpink  stan  so  if  you  hear  him  blasting  their  music ,  chances  are ,  he’s  wearing  a  face  mask  with  his  hair  pulled  back  by  a  pikachu  hair  band  and  living  his  best  life .

as  for  most  wanted  connections  :

i  would  really  love  the  drama  of  someone  figuring  out  that  he’s  a  sugar  baby  and  holds  it  over  his  head  all  the  time  ?  and  barom  always  is  whisper  yelling  at  them  to  not  tell  anyone  or  his  life  would  literally  be  ruined .

hmm ,  i  think  it  would  be  interesting  for  him  to  have  a  crush  because  he  wouldn’t  know  what  to  do  with  himself .  he’d  be  a  little  awkward  baby  around  them  with  blushed  cheeks  and  probably  stuttering  all  the  time  ....  i  need  it  !

i’m  literally  so  desperate  for  an  angsty  friends  with  benefits  or  ex  friends  with  benefits  because  i’m  such  trash  for  plots  like  these  it’s  not  even  funny .

um ,  i’m  also  down  to  brainstorm  or  work  based  on  chemistry  but  i’m  really  excited  to  plot  and  interact  with  everyone  again  ! 

[natashabarnes]

To preface:  Avengers: Endgame shook me to my core and I needed to find a constructive, healthy way to talk about what I am feeling and this seemed as good a way as any. This is an endeavor seeking emotional intelligence. So I’m here to talk about how media can affect us, honest-to-goodness grief, and yeah sure, my opinions and most importantly, Natasha Romanoff. There will be spoilers, obviously. You’ve been warned.

It’s late afternoon on Friday, May 7th, 2010.  I’m a super-soon-to-be-college-graduate, and I’ve just missed my bus home.  There are few places grimmer than where I currently found myself: the Inter-City Bus Terminal in Reading, Pennsylvania. The good news was that buses from Reading to New York ran roughly every two or three hours most of the day, I was going to be fine. I was going to be late, but I was going to be fine.  At the risk of sounding dramatic, I didn’t know it but I had a date with destiny that evening. Since I couldn’t imagine sitting around and waiting in a bleak af bus terminal, I sought refuge a mere block-and-a-half away at the R/C Reading Movies 11 & IMAX. Lucky for me, I was able to schlep my suitcase and (always) large purse over right in time for a showing of Iron Man 2. I remembered Iron Man (2008) to be a whole lot of fun so I sprung for a movie ticket to be able to watch most of Iron Man 2 before I had to catch my bus.  I knew nothing about this film going in and I was having a good time up until the moment Scarlett Johansson came on screen as Natalie Rushman (who even me, a noob S.H.I.E.L.D./espionage sector of Marvel, knew was actually Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow).  Once she made her entrance into Tony Stark’s personal fitness center, I wasn’t having a good time, I was having a great time…and also a weird time.  I was in complete awe of her; I hung on her every word, her every move.  Everything about her radiated a sense of intelligence, purpose, intention, and most alluring to me, confidence.  Looking back I realize I was seeing the kind of woman I wanted to be; not only did she have every trait I wanted as a person, she seemed to be this unattainable personified perfection.  At the time, I wrote off my fascination with her pretty quickly as the voice in my head said “but you’ll never be like that, you know that, right? You’ll never have those things.” I had to leave to catch my bus just as Rhodey showed up to Justin Hammer’s Stark Expo presentation and at the time that was pretty much that.

Let’s skip ahead.  It’s the evening of Wednesday, April 24th, 2019.  Thanks to the kindness of my best friend/basically sister, I was able to see Avengers: Endgame a day early.  I’m a mess.  I’m soaking wet from the collar bone up and my eye makeup is every place on my face with the exception of my eyes.  I’ve been sitting for over three hours and somehow I’m out of breath, my sweat is cold. My status of Full Blown Mess was credited to the fact that I had to watch Natasha Romanoff die violently, fiercely, and courageously.  The shock I felt that night was all-consuming.  I kept saying to my friend through hard sobs, “I just thought she’d be safe. I really thought she’d be safe.”  So many people I know at this event found me after the fact to check in with me.  Am I okay? Do I need anything?  The only answer I came up with on the fly was “I will be, it hurts now. But I’m just…so proud of her.”  More on that later, but basically, people were so kind and if I had to be a mess, at least I was among people who also cared and understood where I was coming from. While my friend engaged in a last bit of work for the day, I sat waiting, attempting to calm down by staring at costume designer Jany Temime’s recent Instagram post where she selfied with Scarlett expressing excitement about working on the upcoming Black Widow film. I reminded myself that this night was not goodbye, just a very jarring “see ya later.”  Of course the present is not necessarily made easier to bear just because more (and potentially the best) is yet to come.

What a difference nine years made.  I’d gone from casual move-going fan who’d only read Spider-Man comics when I had time to being a hardcore, ride-or-die fan of Marvel Comics and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. My library had grown exponentially, along with my knowledge of these characters, and let’s not overlook my closet’s growth after falling into the deep pit of cosplay. I can’t exactly put my finger on the “when” of it, but at some point I stopped stifling the portion of my heart that belonged to superheroes and let them take over with complete abandon.  I’d always had a heavy habit of trying to be what other people wanted me to be.  Though I may have lived very independently, in retrospect my choices and interests were so often chosen for the satisfaction of other people (I am not assigning blame to anyone but myself on this one). Superheroes serve as a perfect example of a passion of mine I chose to shut down for so long. Once I leaned into that passion, I felt so much more complete.  It’s no surprise that Natasha Romanoff was the character I ended up being most passionate about.  

Natasha is a strong woman who spent a lot of her life in the service of others across moral and political spectrums.  She followed their orders always and has plenty of regrets about her past.  Maybe I was self-projecting, but throughout my dedicated years as an MCU viewer and Black Widow comic reader, I always saw Natasha’s arc as two parts:

1) a woman coming to terms with what she’s been and what she’s done seeking to move forward in a more universally beneficial direction.

2)  a woman learning who she is, what she wants and choosing to act of her own volition.

Obviously the two are deeply connected. While her past experiences may have made her moral compass more grey than that of her peers, she’s a woman who wants the Right Thing To Do to be the choice she makes of her own agency.  There’s a beautiful deleted scene from Captain America: The Winter Soldier where Nat speaks to Nick Fury for the first time in confidence after discovering he faked his death and did not include in on the secret.  “I needed to keep the circle small.  You would have done the same thing,” he says.  “I know,” she replies, “that’s a problem.”  A scene she has with Steve Rogers discussing trust that made the final cut achieves a similar idea.  In past appearances in the MCU, Natasha had expressed a desire to make amends for her past and seemingly had started to do so through her work with S.H.I.E.L.D. and her participation the Battle of New York.  These moments in Cap2, as the fandom frequently refers to it fondly, are less about her outward actions and more about her inward struggles. What she seems to learn by the end of the film is that letting people in is a key part of her goal of a truer sense of self.  By the time we meet her in Captain America: Civil War, within the first hour of the film she delivers one of my favorite quotes as the family around her begins to split apart, “Staying together is more important than how we stay together.”  Nat’s journey continued to be one of finding self-possession, self worth and using that greater sense of self to give back to others, both the found family around her and the innocent she can protect.  

With all of this in mind, Avengers: Endgame is my favorite MCU film and features my favorite Natasha Romanoff content we’ve seen so far.  From the moment the film begins, she is a woman hell-bent on remedying the greatest tragedy in the history of the world.  Long gone is the woman we met in her first two films who did the bidding of an organization and/or focused mainly on giving back to those she felt she owed. In Endgame, Natasha aims to save the world, to bring back everyone lost, to restore families.  We first see this when she agrees to find Thanos with the team and reverse the snap. When that mission fails, we skip ahead five years and that’s when I personally really lost it. In five years, Natasha has never stopped trying to fix the world. Let’s be clear, every other member of the original six Avengers most definitely has stopped trying to find an antidote to The Thanos Problem.  Sure, Steve is trying to fix things in a different, more practical way, but there’s still an acceptance of the circumstances in his actions.  The sight of her alone broke my heart and filled me with a sense of honor.  This is a woman we have always seen in control and put together and when we find her she is a noble, beautiful wreck. She’s abandoned most self care, wearing only her depression clothes, and surviving off hope and peanut butter sandwiches desperately communicating with allies around the universe. These people make time for her but are clearly losing patience with her and her insistence that not only can this be fixed, but that it is all of their responsibility to do so.  And in case it wasn’t obvious enough how much she’s changed, this scene gives us what I believe will be (for now at least) Nat’s most iconic moment on screen.  “I used to have nothing, and then I got this…this job, this family.  And I was better because of it.  And even though they’re gone…I’m still trying to be better.”  Nat sums up her entire character arc in this one delicate and stunning moment showing just how strong allowing herself to be vulnerable has made her.  Loving has only made her braver, caring has only made her more tenacious, and giving has made her unstoppable.  She is, in this moment, the woman she always wanted to become.

Remembering the aforementioned scene is absolutely necessary when absorbing Natasha’s choice later in the movie to sacrifice her life so that her team can get the soul stone.  Her entire life has lead her to this moment. Yes, killing off the only female from your original team is a bold move with a LOT of weight attached to it, and one that can definitely be seen as shortchanging her, but I just can’t see it that way. Natasha Romanoff made the ultimate heroic choice, one that the rest of the film hinges on.  My brain can’t navigate the concept that fans have been robbed of her unnecessarily without also hearing a diminishing of the selfless choice she made and the course she followed in the time we’ve known her and beyond.  It’s only when I think of the alternate concept of Clint dying for the soul stone that I feel completely, hypothetically swindled (though while we’re talking about him let’s also not forget how excellent it was to see a man and a woman with no blood relation platonically love one another unconditionally).  Please don’t misunderstand, if you are angry, I respect that, we all deal with stuff different ways, this is just my take.  Natasha Romanoff earned that moment.  Is it devastating to watch? One thousand percent yes, but what I felt even more deeply than the devastation was pride.  I am so proud of this character that in no way can I bring myself to see this choice as abuse or mistreatment of her character.  In that moment, she was magnificent.  Natasha Romanoff died valiantly, unafraid, and of her own free will so that everyone else could live.  Natasha is a hero of the highest standard, full stop.

Entertainment Weekly recently featured a half-hour interview with the original six Avengers to promote Endgame. I was more than moved to hear Scarlett speak about Nat’s arc and confirm what I’d been absorbing as an audience member for years.  “She’s come into her own as a woman saying ‘who am I and what do I want and what do I need out of my relationships and also out of my own self’ and she’s someone who is understanding her own self worth.”  Without going into deep detail, watching Scarlett’s performance as Natasha has affected me in a way I can only describe as profound.  Every MCU film she appeared in had at least one moment that hit a nerve inside me in ways equally gentle and harsh, but still every nerve was hit with the reassurance of knowing that if she could change, I could too.  Catalysts for personal growth can come from anywhere and at my most lost somehow I remembered that moment sitting in a theatre watching Iron Man 2.  Something in my brain told me to follow that feeling I had watching her, not in an effort to emulate her completely, but to see an example of someone one who is “my own woman–first, last and always.”  Natasha taught me that self love, self worth and opening yourself to others are traits more powerful than lightning, stronger than a suit of armor and they’d protect me more than a shield.  In the years I’ve watched and read this character, my life has changed for the better in every way.  She’s been a gift to me and the gratitude I feel is overwhelming.  I may have saved myself, but Natasha taught me how.  As fans I think we all love having more media to look forward to, especially when that media features an inspirational figure for us.  Before Endgame I’d frequently have passing thoughts reminding me that someday the time of Scarlett’s particular incarnation of Natasha will be over.  Who would I be without this character? After Endgame, I’m less afraid of that future.  No matter what form of this character I will have in my life, I will always follow her example and I will try to be better.  

[isolated-loser]

Log 0021, 5:26am, 7-22-2019

Thursday, the 4thof July, I ran a one shot. It was fucking hilarious. My player did a whole bunch of stupid shit. I loved it, it was great. One of my players in the one shot, Ranger, swam up a giant squid’s ass. Then a nether one of my players joined him. Then Ranger casted spike growth in this squid’s ass, all most killing it. Ranger also shot a nether player, Shaggy, who was running away in the ass with a harpoon gun. That game was great. Nymph didn’t do much, but she looked like she was having fun.

Also last Thursday, the 11th, I was hanging outside the shop, cuss the game hadn’t started yet. And eyebrows ask if I wanted to walk with him to burger king, I was like sure, cuss half of the other players are over there anyway. It was interesting to say the least watching him interact with others. He really seems less awkward talking to anyone other than me. Like, goddamn, I’m a dude not a snake, probably. It was funny the entire time he’s trying not to make it awkward, but that’s what’s making it awkward. He’s a weird dude. Wish, I wasn’t in to weird dudes, But here we are. idk why he

In lash’s campaign, last Thursday, the 11th,  I got to water ski butt ass naked, without any equipment, while singing opera, then after I was done and climbed back on ship one of the other players told me to roll dex, and I did with a 13, needed a 16 IE, I didn’t save, this dude cast levitate on me, so I was now and parasailing butt ass naked, without any equipment. I’m a 7 and a half foot tall male half orc, this is not what any of the party wanted to see, I may be a pretty half orc, but I’m still a lightly fuzzy man. One of the other Pcs was like hell no and punched the wizard so he’d has to do a concentration check, the wizard it a bad bitch and has that good ac play shield as a reaction and the minotaur didn’t hit, so the minotaur rages dose again, hits dose enough damage the wizard saves on his concentration check, but’s like fuck you moves levitate to the minotaur, I fall in to the water gracefully as fuck mate cuss I gut expertise in that acrobatics, I mean it only a +4 cuss I have no dex but, like. We also got a new player! She’s very nice, I’m glad she joined are table.

The last few days have feel been long… So, so, long… Gods, I don’t want to type about it, but I need to. Monday, the 15th of July, I got two new players, a marred couple. At first everything was cool. They did mention getting kicked out of a few other games, but that seemed nice enough. I was running a one shot instead of the regular campaign, cuss I didn’t think most of my players would show, though most did, actually. And I just wanted to run this one shot again. It all went well, invited the new players to the shops discord, as is standard. The new players, and some of the other non-regulars, are saying in the chat how much fun they had, how I was a great Dm, shit like that. I just thought they were sucking up to me, the DM, for cooler stuff. & I got a private message from the chick about hanging out sometime, it was a bit odd, but not setting off too many flags, & I was like yeah sounds cool, and we scheduled something for next Friday. They just seem really friendly, and happy to be in a game.

Then, Tuesday, the 16th, as I was walking out the door to go to paint jam, I checked the shops discord, and several people were talking about how they had a lot of fun Monday, so, I was like I’m going to be at the shop so if a few of you show up, I’ll run a one off. Three players showed the couple, and one of my regulars who played with them in the past. They all wanted to keep the characters from the Monday one shot, so I just made the one off their session zero, like how they got to the main campaign. Everything went well, they at one point mention that they’re poly, polysexual or polyamorous I don’t know, so nothing too weird, we finish. They leave, & few minutes after their in the chat, with the regular, about how awesome the game was. I get a few private messages from the chick, there friendly, nothing too odd. And, I get a couple from the guy. He’s like me and wivey are loving the game, I send back some gladly shit like I do, then he sends something like going ask some weird questions, I was like ok, thinking it had to do with the campaign, and he ask if I was see anyone, not too weird, I’ve been asked this several times by many people for no real reason, and he also wanted to make sure their flirting wasn’t making me uncomfortable, I was like, not at all have I thought it funny, cuss I thought he meant with each other. Then hes then he was like they’re fond of me, his wife a bit more than him, and asked if it was cool for them to continue flirting with me, and for me to flirt back, to me at the time they didn’t seem to be acting that odd like though it was joke flirting, so I was like yea sure, then he sent back a cool because you’re cute, I just replied with the stuck out tongue winking eye emoji as discord calls it, still thinking it was just like jokes and shit, he sent back glad we’re on the same page. They seem abit overly, friendly.

Wednesday, the 17th, I woke up checked discord like I do sometimes; the chick invited everyone to the discord to their place, and I knew the people going some of my regulars, and Presh, I thought it would be ok, cuss there were people I know there, really shouldn’t have but I said, sure I’ll go. Couple hours later, being nagged, some by the chick, it was annoying, but didn’t seem bad. Then I got there, a bit earlier than everyone else, the chick hugged me, don’t like being touched without knowing someone a while, I mean really don’t. She didn’t know that. The rest of the day was fine, it was fun. Everything was ok, I ran dnd, it went well. The night came to a close, I ended up being the last person there, I called my ride, cuss I really didn’t want to be there anymore, and she didn’t pick up. I should have lied and did some billshitery to get out of there, like said to the voice mail oh cool see you in a few, I’ll meant you at the gate, then said my ride is close by and I want to walk back or something. They had offered me a ride back to my place, I shouldn’t have fucking taken it, ie see billshitery, but I’m an idiot and wanted to get away from them. On the ride back they were way too friendly, like way too friendly. Oh you live close, if you ever need a ride just messages us, come over whenever you feel like. When we got to my place, the chick got out to hug me again. Then more messages about how much fun the game was, blab la bla. At this point I was starting to get that the flirting wasn’t a joke, and I was getting creeped out.

Thursday, the 18th, I got some more messages from them, in the main discord the chick was talking about how she had a dream about my one shot, she also private messaged me about it, the dude private messaged me about how he had been staring at me the night previous, and that I was neat. I didn’t answer there was a table doing a one shot and they had mention in main chat about wanting to go., they didn’t, thank you gods. I asked all the DMs what I should do about it, they were all like just tell them to stop, that’s not cool, and variations of. I told some of my female friend, Nymph, Presh, Queen, as well as Paint Master. Nymph was like yeah that creep and not cool, Preah was like yeah it weird tell to stop they can move to my table, Paint Master said if I wanted he’d come on Mondays and stand behind me with a baseball bat full of nails, Queen was like yeah that not right and had me talk to one of the people at the shop who helped me write a massage to them.

Then I sent to both of them, the dude reposed in less than a minute with some dushy shit. The next day the chick was like i don’t know what you mean then and hour later was like huby clued me in, we’re not going to play there anymore for your comfort, then they left the chop discord. I didn’t respond to any anything, I don’t know how the other players who knew them are going to react, if there going to hate me and want to move tables or what. But gods this whole thing has be awful…

After this, I relied, I really don’t have a problem with Presh, she’s a little annoying, but she’s amazing when compared to this shit.

Tuesday, the 16th, I tried to get collige stuff in order, it not working out well. it stressing me out so fucking badly.

Wednesday, the 17th, be for that shit, I did watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with my little bro, it was fab. I wish I had watched it earlier.

Thursday, the 18th, in Lash’s campaign I dint do much but I did get a new pair of boots and purchased 110 pastries. Plus I made the minotaur angry, by betting on the other lady minotaur, & maybe casting healing word on said other minotaur. Haha. I’m going to die, he’s going to kill my poor Danny.

Saturday, the 20th, I did Landry. Then went to karaoke with Presh, it was fun. There was Presh, one of her friend that I knew, one of her friends that I didn’t, one of her players who I met Thursday, plus her parents. It was so fucking weird. I sang “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” & “Write Sins Not Tragedies” by panic at the fucking disco. A drunk woman said I had potential, which was nice; though, I’m not super inclined to believe it. It was so embarrassing, says the person who knew full well it was going to be. It was fun though, I’ll most likely be doing it again. I got to act a fool & I got to talk about DND too, which I just love.

Today, the 21, I was supposed to go volunteer with the rabbit rescue, but I fucking slept all day which kinda sucks… I hate how this keeps happening, two weeks ago I was too depressed to get out of bed so I didn’t go, then it was that fucking hurricane, and now I just sleep throe it.  

Paint Master wants to be in my campaign which it fucking awesome, & Nergal asked about it, as well as a nether dude I don’t know the name of. I’m pretty sure shaggy going to be back from whatever he was up to. So even if half my players disappears cuss of those assholes it will be all right. Probably. 

I've pretty much been crying several times a day. I mean, I really don’t want to live right now.

Idk, what else to add, I’m sure a lot but I’ve been trying to finish this sense Friday night.

Signing Off...

Favorite song today: Disease by Beartooth

Mood: Shit      

[orbemnews]

Protesters gather at Brooklyn Center police station hours after ex-officer is charged in the death of Daunte Wright A firework was seen going off and police fired flash bombs Wednesday night as a curfew got closer. Officers declared the gathering an unlawful assembly late Wednesday, about an hour before curfew. The curfew in Brooklyn Center was from 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. CT, Mayor Mike Elliott said Wednesday during a news conference. Surrounding cities have also enacted curfews, but Minneapolis and St. Paul have not, according to their respective websites. Earlier this week, then-Police Chief Tim Gannon said Wright’s death appeared to be the result of Potter mistaking her gun for her Taser as Wright resisted arrest. But Imran Ali, a prosecutor in Orput’s office, has said prosecutors intend “to prove that Officer Potter abrogated her responsibility to protect the public when she used her firearm rather than her Taser.” “Her action caused the unlawful killing of Mr. Wright and she must be held accountable,” Ali said in a news release. Potter, who resigned as a Brooklyn Center police officer this week, was arrested and charged Wednesday with second-degree manslaughter, Washington County Attorney Pete Orput said. The Hennepin County Medical Examiner’s Office determined Wright died of a gunshot wound and that his death was a homicide. Potter was arrested late Wednesday morning by agents with the Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension, the bureau said. She was booked into the Hennepin County Jail, online records show. Potter posted bail and was released from custody, according to the Hennepin County Sheriff’s official website. She will make her first court appearance via Zoom on Thursday at 1:30 p.m. CT. In Minnesota, second-degree manslaughter applies when authorities allege a person causes someone’s death by “culpable negligence whereby the person creates an unreasonable risk, and consciously takes chances of causing death or great bodily harm to another.” Someone convicted of this charge would face a sentence of up to 10 years in prison and/or a fine of up to $20,000. CNN has sought comment from Potter’s attorney, Earl Gray. Protests, some violent, have taken place each night after Wright’s death, in and around Brooklyn Center. OSN tweeted 79 people were arrested Tuesday night. Wright’s family had called for charges against the officer. Fencing and barricades are in place around Potter’s home, where two police officers and two police vehicles were seen in her driveway Wednesday. “I share our community’s anger and sadness and shock,” Elliott, the mayor, said. “My message to all who are demanding justice for (Daunte Wright) and for his family is this: Your voices have been heard, now the eyes of the world are watching Brooklyn Center and I urge you to protest peacefully and without violence.” Potter and police chief resign after shooting Developments in the investigation have unfolded daily, including the release of body camera footage and Gannon’s statement that the shooting appeared accidental on Monday, and the resignations of Potter and Gannon on Tuesday. Though Potter has submitted a resignation letter, Mayor Elliott said Tuesday he has not accepted it, adding “we’re doing our internal process to make sure that we are being accountable to the steps that we need to take.” Earlier, he told CBS he thought Potter should be fired. Potter is still entitled to benefits following her resignation, though it is not clear what those benefits are, Edwards said. Orput is the prosecutor in Washington County, near Hennepin County, where Brooklyn Center is. The case was given to Washington County prosecutors to avoid the appearance of conflict of interest in Hennepin County, officials have said. Sunday’s killing of Wright is at least the third high-profile death of a Black man during a police encounter in the Minneapolis area in the past five years, after the shooting of Philando Castile in Falcon Heights in 2016 and the death of George Floyd last year. Minneapolis police also were under scrutiny when an officer was convicted of third-degree murder and manslaughter for the 2017 fatal shooting of Justine Ruszczyk, a White woman. The trial of Derek Chauvin, the former Minneapolis police officer accused of killing Floyd, is taking place just 10 miles from Brooklyn Center. Gray, Potter’s attorney, also is the attorney for Thomas Lane, one of four officers involved in Floyd’s death, and one of the defense attorneys for Jeronimo Yanez, the former police officer who was found not guilty in Castile’s death. Reacting to the manslaughter charge, one of the Wright family’s attorneys, Benjamin Crump, released a statement saying “while we appreciate that the district attorney is pursuing justice for Daunte, no conviction can give the Wright family their loved one back.” “This (shooting) was no accident. This was an intentional, deliberate and unlawful use of force,” Crump’s statement reads. “Driving while Black continues to result in a death sentence. A 26-year veteran of the force knows the difference between a Taser and a firearm,” Crump wrote. He added that the Wright family would hold a news conference Thursday afternoon. As a result of unrest in the city, acting City Manager Reggie Edwards announced the formation of the Brooklyn Center Community Crisis Team. The team includes nine members representing the business, faith, education and nonprofit communities in the city as well as the city government. Two families come together in tragedy Floyd’s family left the courthouse during Chauvin’s trial Tuesday “because they thought it was important that they give comfort to Daunte Wright’s mother” and family, Crump said Tuesday at a news conference with the two families. “We will stand in support with you. … The world is traumatized, watching another African American man being slayed,” said Philonise Floyd, brother of George Floyd. “I woke up in the morning with this on my mind. I don’t want to see another victim.” The losses of both Wright and Floyd were acknowledged in Tuesday’s protests. Demonstrators knelt for 9 minutes and 29 seconds, to symbolize the amount of time authorities say Chauvin knelt on Floyd’s neck. And just as the Floyd family did last year, the Wright family is looking for more answers surrounding their loved one’s death. One of the family’s attorneys, Jeffrey Storms, told CNN that Gannon’s explanation — that the shooting appeared to be an accident — “is by no means proper or enough.” “There were a number of intentional events that led to (Daunte Wright) being dead, and we need to find out exactly why each one of those intentional events happened,” Storms said Tuesday. “Grabbing your sidearm that you’ve likely deployed thousands, if not tens of thousands, of times is an intentional act,” Storms said. “A sidearm feels different than a Taser. It looks different than a Taser. (It) requires different pressure in order to deploy it.” Wright’s father, Aubrey Wright, told ABC on Tuesday that he couldn’t accept Gannon’s explanation that Sunday’s shooting was accidental. “I can’t accept that — a mistake. That doesn’t even sound right,” he told ABC’s “Good Morning America.” He cited the officer’s length of service — authorities said she’d been with Brooklyn Center police for 26 years. Wright’s mother, Katie Wright, said she wanted to see the officer “held accountable for everything that she’s taken from us.” “It should have never, ever escalated the way it did,” Katie Wright told ABC. What happened in traffic stop that ended Wright’s life Wright was with his girlfriend Sunday afternoon, driving to the house of his older brother, Damik Bryant. Officers pulled him over in Brooklyn Center for an expired tag and learned he had an outstanding warrant, police said. The warrant was for a gross misdemeanor weapons charge, according to the news release from Orput’s office. Wright gave officers his name before calling his mother, Bryant said. His mother, Katie Wright, told reporters that Daunte Wright called her, and she heard a police officer ask him to put down his phone and get out of the car. Daunte told her he’d explain why he was pulled over after he exited, she said. She eventually heard police ask him to hang up, and then scuffling, before the call ended, she said. Body camera footage released Monday shows Wright standing outside his vehicle with his arms behind his back and an officer directly behind him, trying to handcuff him. An officer tells Wright “don’t,” before Wright twists away and gets back into the driver’s seat of the car. Orput’s office said Potter “pulled her Glock 9mm handgun with her right hand and pointed it at Wright.” The officer whose camera footage was released is heard warning the man she’s going to use her Taser on him, before repeatedly shouting, “Taser! Taser! Taser!” It’s at this point that Orput’s office says Potter “pulled the trigger on her handgun” and fired one round into the left side of Wright. “Wright immediately said, “ah, he shot me,” and the car sped away for a short distance before crashing into another vehicle and stopping,” the release said. Then, the officer is heard screaming, “Holy sh*t! I just shot him.” An ambulance was called and Wright was pronounced dead at the scene, Orput’s release states. Gannon said the portion of body-worn camera footage released Monday led him to believe the shooting was accidental and that the officer’s actions before the shooting were consistent with the department’s training on Tasers. The Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension examined Potter’s duty belt and found her handgun is holstered on the right side of her belt, while the Taser is on the left side, according to a news release from Orput’s office. Citing a criminal complaint, the release said the Taser is yellow with a black grip and is set in a straight-draw position, “meaning Potter would have to use her left hand to pull the Taser out of its holster.” CNN’s Carma Hassan, Adrienne Broaddus, Amir Vera, Keith Allen, Hollie Silverman, Peter Nickeas, Jessica Schneider, Jessica Jordan, Christina Carrega, Shawn Nottingham and contributed to this report. Source link Orbem News #Brooklyn #Center #charged #Daunte #Death #exofficer #gather #hours #Police #protesters #Station #Wright

[stupendousbananatiger]

EP 12 | You Knock on My Door (Sen Çal Kapımı) 12.Bölüm/Episode 12 [ENGSUB] FOX Türkiye

Watch You Knock on My Door (Sen Çal Kapımı) Season 1 Episode 12 1–2–3–4–5–1–7–8–9–10 Full Episode You Knock on My Door (Sen Çal Kapımı) Temporada 1 Capítulo 12 Sub English / Español 2020 ➤ http://watchepisode.online-tvs.com/series/383383/1/12 VISIT HERE ➤➤ http://watchepisode.online-tvs.com/series/383383/1/12

Finally in the end Serkan made his declaration of love. Now it is Eda's turn. But it is not going to be easy to obtain Eda's declaration. Serkan waits patiently in order to hear that Eda is in love with him. Now we also have to deal with keeping this a secret from the families. Since Eda's aunt learned about the engagement agreement, she cannot tell her that she and Serkan and now a real couple in love. With Eda's insistence, Serkan agrees to keep this a secret. But they and their relationship is going to go through many adventures while they keep this secret.

🎬 You Knock on My Door (Sen Çal Kapımı) Episode 12 Online Free 🎬

Title : You Knock on My Door Episode Title : Episode 12 Release Date : 30 Sep 2020 Runtime : 120 minutes Genres : Comedy , Drama , Romance Networks : FOX Türkiye

You Knock on My Door (Sen Çal Kapımı)

Eda, who ties all her hopes to her education, confronts Serkan Bolat, who cuts off her international education scholarship and leaves her with high school diploma. Serkan Bolat offers Eda to give her scholarship back if she pretends to be his fiance for two months. Although Eda rejects the offer of this man as she hates him, she has to accept it when the conditions change. While pretending to be engaged, Serkan and Eda begin to experience a passionate, challenging relationship that will make them forget all they know right. Because love is difficult. And that's why it's amazing.

Show Info

Network: Turkey FOX Türkiye (2020 - now) Schedule: Wednesdays at 20:00 (120 min) Status: Running Language: Turkish Show Type: Scripted Genres: Drama Comedy Romance

With dozens of films genre being released each year, a typical one that gets overlooked by the more popular ones (action, drama, comedy, animation, etc.) is the subgenre category of religious movie. These films (sometimes called “faith-based” features) usually center around the struggles and ideas of a person (or groups) identity of a religious faith, which is, more or less, has a profound event or obstacle to overcome. While not entirely, the most commonplace religious type movies focus on the religion of Christianity, sometimes venturing back into the past in cinematic retelling classic biblical tales, including famed epic films like Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur (the original 1959 version) to some more modern endeavors from Hollywood like Risen, The Young Messiah, and Paul, Apostle of Christ. Other Christian “faith” films finds a more contemporary setting to tell its story, with some being “based on a true-life account” like the movies Unconditional, Heaven is Real, Unbroken, I Can Only Imagine, Indivisible, and Miracles from Heaven, while others might find inspiration from literary novels / fictionalized narratives like The Shack, Overcomer, War Room, and Same Kind of Different as Me. Regardless, whether finding inspiration from true life, references from the bible, or originality, these movies usually speaks on a person’s faith and the inner struggle he or she has within or one society’s views, spreading a message of belief and the understand of one’s belief. Now, after the success of 2018’s I Can Only Imagine, directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) and Lionsgate studios release the 2020 faith-based film / music biopic feature I Still Believe. Does the film walk a fine line between its religious aspects and cinematic entertainment or does the movie get entangled in its own faith-based preaching?

THE STORY

Its 1999 and Jeremy Camp (K.J. Apa) is a young and aspiring musician who would like nothing more than to honor his God through the power of music. Leaving his Indiana home for the warmer climate of California and a college education, Jeremy soon comes across one Melissa Henning (Britt Robertson), a fellow college student that he takes notices in the audience at a local concert. Falling for cupid’s arrow immediately, he introduces himself to her and quickly discovers that she is attracted to him too. However, Melissa holds back from forming a budding relationship as she fears it will create an awkward situation between Jeremy and their mutual friend, Jean-Luc (Nathan Parson), a fellow musician and who also has feeling for Melissa. Still, Jeremy is relentless in his pursuit of her until they eventually find themselves in a loving dating relationship. However, their youthful courtship with each other comes to a halt when life-threating news of Melissa having cancer takes center stage. The diagnosis does nothing to deter Jeremey’s love for her and the couple eventually marries shortly thereafter. Howsoever, they soon find themselves walking a fine line between a life together and suffering by her illness; with Jeremy questioning his faith in music, himself, and with God himself.

THE GOOD / THE BAD

Sorry if this sounds a bit familiar pieces from my review of I Can Only Imagine, but it definitely says what I feel about these films. While I am a devout Christian (not a crazy zealot or anything like that) for my bases of religion and my outlook beliefs in life, I’m not a huge fan of the “faith-based” feature films. That’s not to say that they’re bad or that I find them deplorable to the other more popular movie genres out there, but sometimes they can a bit preachy and corny / honky in their religious overtones and overall dramatic direction. Personally, I like the more biblical tales that Hollywood as put over, with Cecil B. Demile’s The Ten Commandments and William Wyler’s Ben-Hur; both of have proven to stand the test of time within filmmaking. Of course, Hollywood’s recent trend of put out more “remakes” movies puts an overcast on those biblical epics with 2014’s Exodus: Gods and Kings and 2016’s Ben-Hur; both of which failed to capture a sense of cinematic integrity and had a messy religious outlook in its zeal aspect. Of late, however, Hollywood as retreated more into contemporary pieces, finding narratives that are, more or less, set in a more “modern” day and age to their Christian-faithful based features. As I mentioned above, some have found success in their literary forms (being based on a book and adapted to the big screen), but most derive their inspiration from true life accounts, translating into something that’s meant to strike a chord (with moviegoers) due to its “based on a true story” aspect and nuances. Again, some are good (as I liked Unbroken and The Shack), while others kind of become a bit too preachy and let the religious overtures hamper the film, making them less-than desirable to mainstream audiences or even members of their own faiths. Thus, these religious-esque films can sometimes be problematic in their final presentation for both its viewers and in the film itself; sometimes making the movie feel like a TV channel movie rather than a theatrical feature film. This brings me around to talking about I Still Believe, a 2020 motion picture release of the Christian religious faith-based genre. As almost customary, Hollywood usually puts out two (maybe three) films of this variety movies within their yearly theatrical release lineup, with the releases usually being around spring time and / or fall respectfully. I didn’t hear much when this movie was first announced (probably got buried underneath all the popular movies news on the newsfeed). My first actual glimpse of the movie was when the film’s movie trailer was released, which looked somewhat interesting to me. Yes, it looked the movie was gonna be the typical “faith-based” vibe, but it was going to be directed by the Erwin Brothers, who directed I Can Only Imagine (a film that I did like). Plus, the trailer for I Still Believe premiered for quite some time, so I kept on seeing it a lot of time when I went to my local movie theater. You can kind of say that it was a bit “engrained in my brain”. Thus, I was a bit keen on seeing it. Fortunately, I was able to see it before the COVID-19 outbreak closed the movie theaters down (saw it during its opening night), but, due to work scheduling, I haven’t had the time to do my review for it…. until now. And what did I think of it? Well, it was pretty “meh”. While its heart is definitely in the right place and quite sincere, I Still Believe is a bit too preachy and unbalanced within its narrative execution and character developments. The religious message is clearly there, but takes too many detours and not focusing on certain aspects that weigh the feature’s presentation. As mentioned, I Still Believe is directed by the Erwin Brothers (Andrew and Jon), whose previous directorial works include such films like Moms’ Night Out, Woodlawn, and I Can Only Imagine. Given their affinity attraction religious based Christian movies, the Erwin Brothers seem like a suitable choice in bringing Jeremy Camp’s story to a cinematic representation; approaching the material with a certain type of gentleness and sincerity to the proceedings. Much like I Can Only Imagine, the Erwin Brothers shape the feature around the life of a popular Christian singer; presenting his humble beginnings and all the trials and tribulations that he must face along the way, while musical songs / performance taking importance into account of the film’s narrative story progression. That’s not to say that the movie isn’t without its heavier moments, with the Erwin, who (again) are familiar with religious overtones themes in their endeavors, frame I Still Believe compelling messages of love, loss, and redemption, which (as always) are quite fundamental to watch and experience through tragedy. This even speaks to the film’s script, which was penned by Erwin brothers playing double duty on the project, that has plenty of heartfelt dramatic moments that will certainly tug on the heartstrings of some viewers out there as well as provide to be quite an engaging tale of going through tragedy and hardship and finding a redemption arc to get out of it. This is especially made abundantly clear when dealing with a fatal illness that’s similar to what Melissa undergoes in the film, which is quite universal and reflective in everyone’s world, with the Erwin Brothers painting the painful journey that Melissa takes along with Jeremy by her side, who must learn to cope with pain of a loved one. There is a “double edge” sword to the film’s script, but I’ll mention that below. Suffice to say, the movie settles quickly into the familiar pattern of a religious faith-based feature that, while not exactly polished or original, can be quite the “comfort food” to some; projecting a wholesome message of faith, hope, and love. Personally, I didn’t know of Jeremy Camp and the story of he and Melissa Henning, so it was quite a poignant journey that was invested unfolding throughout the film’s proceedings. As a side-note, the movie is a bit a “tear jerker”, so for those who prone to crying during these dramatic heartfelt movies….get your tissues out. In terms of presentation, I Still Believe meets the industry standard of a religious faith-based motion pictures. Of course, theatrical endeavors like these don’t really have big budged production money to invest in the film’s creation. Thus, filmmakers have to spend their money wisely in bringing their cinematic tales to life on the silver screen. To that effect, the Erwin Brothers smartly utilized this knowledge in the movie’s creation; budgeting the various aspects of the background and genetic theatrical make-up that feel appropriate and genuine in the film’s narrative. So, all the various “behind the scenes” team / areas that I usually mention (i.e. production designs, set decorations, costumes, and cinematography, etc.) are all relatively good as I really don’t have much to complain (whether good or bad) about them. Again, they meet the industry standard for a faith-based movie. Additionally, the musical song parts are pretty good as well. As mentioned, I really didn’t know anything about Jeremy Camp, so I couldn’t say what songs of his were good, but the songs that are presented in the film were pretty decent enough to certain highlight points throughout the movie. Though they are somewhat short (assuming not the whole song is being played), but still effectively good and nice to listen to. Might have to check out a few of the real songs one day. Lastly, the film’s score, which was done by John Debney, fits perfect with this movie; projecting the right amount of heartfelt tenderness in some scenes and inspirational melodies of enlightenment in others. Unfortunately, not all is found to be pure and religiously cinematic in the movie as I Still Believe gets weighed down with several major points of criticism and execution in the feature. How so? For starters, the movie feels a bit incomplete in Jeremy Camp’s journey. What’s presented works (somewhat), but it doesn’t hold up, especially because the Erwin Brothers have a difficult time in nailing down the right narrative path for the film to take. Of course, the thread of Jeremy and Melissa are the main central focus (and justly so), but pretty much everything else gets completely pushed aside, including Jeremy’s musical career rise to stardom and many of the various characters and their importance (more on that below). This also causes the film to have a certain pacing issues throughout the movie, with I Still Believe runtime of 116 minutes (one hour and fifty-six minutes) feeling longer than it should be, especially with how much narrative that the Erwin Brothers skip out on (i.e. several plot chunks / fragments are left unanswered or missing). Additionally, even if a viewer doesn’t know of Jeremy Camp’s story, I Still Believe does, for better or worse, follow a fairly predictable path that’s quite customary for faith-based movie. Without even reading anything about the real lives of Jeremy and Melissa prior to seeing the feature, it’s quite clearly as to where the story is heading and what will ultimately play out (i.e. plot beats and theatrical narrative act progression). Basically, if you’ve seeing one or two Christian faith-based film, you’ll know what to expect from I Still Believe. Thus, the Erwin Brothers don’t really try to creatively do something different with the film…. instead they reinforce the idealisms of Christian and of faith in a formulaic narrative way that becomes quite conventional and almost a bit lazy. There is also the movie’s dialogue and script handling, which does become problematic in the movie’s execution, which is hampered by some wooden / forced dialogue at certain scenes (becoming very preachy and cheesy at times) as well as the feeling of the movie’s story being rather incomplete. There’s a stopping point where the Erwin Brothers settle on, but I felt that there could’ve more added, including more expansion on his music career and several other characters. Then there is the notion of the film being quite secular in its appeal, which is quite understandable, but relies too heavy on its religious thematic messages that can be a bit “off-putting” for some. It didn’t bother me as much, but after seeing several other faith-based movies prior to this (i.e. I Can Only Imagine, Overcomer, Indivisible, etc.), this particular movie doesn’t really rise to Cursed in Love and falls prey to being rather generic and flat for most of its runtime. As you can imagine, I Still Believe, while certainly sincere and meaningful in its storytelling, struggles to find a happy balance in its narrative and execution presentation; proving to be difficult in conveying the whole “big picture” of its message and Jeremey Camp’s journey. The cast in I Still Believe is a mixed bag. To me, none of the acting talents are relatively bad (some are better than others…. I admit), but their characterizations and / or involvement in the film’s story is problematic to say the least. Leading the film’s narrative are two protagonist characters of Jeremy Camp and Melissa Henning, who are played by the young talents of K.J. Apa and Britt Robertson respectfully. Of the two, Apa, known for his roles in Riverdale, The Last Summer, and The Hate U Give, is the better equipped in character development and performance as the young and aspiring musical talent of Jeremy Camp. From the get-go, Apa has a likeable charm / swagger to him, which make his portrayal of Jeremy immediately endearing from onset to conclusion. All the scenes he does are well-represented (be it character-based or dramatic) and certainly sells the journey that Jeremy undergoes in the movie. Plus, Apa can also sing, which does lend credence to many of the scene’s musical performance. For Robertson, known for her roles in Tomorrowland, Ask Me Anything, and The Space Between Us, she gets hampered by some of the film’s wooden / cheesy dialogue. True, Robertson’s performance is well-placed and well-mannered in projecting a sense of youthful and dewy-eyed admiration in Mellissa, especially since the hardships here character undergoes in the feature, but it’s hard to get passed the cringeworthy dialogue written for her. Thus, Robertson’s Melissa ends up being the weaker of the two. That being said, both Apa and Robertson do have good on-screen chemistry with each other, which certainly does sell the likeable / loving young relationship of Jeremy and Melissa. In more supporting roles, seasoned talents like actor Gary Sinise (Forest Gump and Apollo 13) and musician singer Shania Twain play Jeremey’s parents, Tom and Terry Camp. While both Sinise and Twain are suitable for their roles as a sort of small town / Midwest couple vibe, their characters are little more than window dressing for the feature’s story. Their screen presence / star power lends weigh to the project, but that’s pretty much it; offering up a few nuggets to bolster a few particular scenes here and there, which is disappointing. Everyone else, including actor Nathan Parsons (General Hospital and Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water) as musical talent and mutual friend to both Jeremy and Melissa, Jean-Luc Lajoie, young actor Reuben Dodd (The Bridge and Teachers) as Jeremy’s handicapped younger brother, Joshua Camp, and his other younger brother, Jared Camp (though I can’t find out who played him the movie), are relatively made up in smaller minor roles that, while acted fine, are reduced to little more than just underdeveloped caricatures in the film, which is a shame and disappointing.

FINAL THOUGHTS

The power of faith, love, and affinity for music take center stage in Jeremy Camp’s life story in the movie I Still Believe. Directors Andrew and Jon Erwin (the Erwin Brothers) examine the life and times of Jeremy Camp’s life story; pin-pointing his early life with his relationship Melissa Henning as they battle hardships and their enduring love for one another through difficult times. While the movie’s intent and thematic message of a person’s faith through trouble times is indeed palpable as well as the likeable musical performances, the film certainly struggles to find a cinematic footing in its execution, including a sluggish pace, fragmented pieces, predicable plot beats, too preachy / cheesy dialogue moments, over utilized religious overtones, and mismanagement of many of its secondary /supporting characters. To me, this movie was somewhere between okay and “meh”. It was definitely a Christian faith-based movie endeavor (from start to finish) and definitely had its moments, but it just failed to resonate with me; struggling to find a proper balance in its undertaking. Personally, despite the story, it could’ve been better. Thus, my recommendation for this movie is an “iffy choice” at best as some will like (nothing wrong with that), while others will not and dismiss it altogether. Whatever your stance on religious faith-based flicks, I Still Believe stands as more of a cautionary tale of sorts; demonstrating how a poignant and heartfelt story of real-life drama can be problematic when translating it to a cinematic endeavor. For me, I believe in Jeremy Camp’s story / message, but not so much the feature.

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Are you a parent? READ THIS AND LEARN THE REALITY

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Are you a parent? READ THIS AND LEARN THE REALITY

Little did Mrs. Joseph know that the CCTV installed in their house, which almost caused a rift between her and her husband would be the saving grace to unravel the mystery behind a very unfortunate incident that would change the atmosphere in her home permanently.

Mrs. Joseph came back from work a few days before the ugly incident and met some guys from the technical department of their church working on certain installations.

When she enquired about what was going on her husband, Pastor Kim Joseph told her that he brought those brothers from their church to come and help install a CCTV camera in their home.

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This response did not go down well with Mrs. Joseph who felt that her dear husband should have discussed with her before going into such project for the home.

Agreed, they had talked over it some months back and even brought in some experts to survey the house and get some other technical details, but they later agreed that the project should be suspended till their son Dave, returned from NYSC.

However, Pastor Joseph explained to her that while he was praying in the house that morning after she had gone to work it was strongly impressed on his heart to get that work done without further delay.

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He is a full time pastor with one of the Pentecostal churches in Lagos, South-West, Nigeria while his wife, Dupe Joseph was a manager in one of the commercial banks in the same city.

The wife still could not understand the sense of urgency in the whole thing or why he could not wait till at least the next day so they could talk about it once again. Anyway, that’s that for the issue of CCTV installation in their home.

Mrs. Joseph was still nursing the wound from her husband’s rash decision before tragedy struck in their home.

Three days later, while at work, at about 1 pm Mrs. Joseph got a call from her husband to come home immediately.

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The tone of his voice did not give her any room to question him further. Even before she could open her mouth to ask any question he had hung up.

She quickly put necessary things in order in the office, called her driver and headed home not knowing what to expect. As she approached her home, she started having this kind of heavy heartedness, an indication that something was wrong somewhere.

When she got to their estate gate, the forlorn look on the faces of the security men who opened the gate for her car did not pass her unnoticed. Her house was just a few blocks away from the gate.

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He arrived at her house in time just to see the police and some paramedics from the estate medical centre putting a body into an ambulance. At that instant, her whole world came to a standstill.

She could not immediately make out what was happening or whose body it was. Before her eyes could span round the pockets of people gathered in the compound some women surrounded her and held her while leading her into the house.

On getting into the living room she met her husband sitting on the floor wearing a pair of trousers and no shirt.

That was probably the first time any of the people in that room had seen him that way. Pastor Joseph’s family was one decent and lovely family, which many residents of that estate admired so much.

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They are the kind of neighbours any person would like to have. Their two children are so homely and well-mannered that other parents use them to give example to their own children. Mrs. Joseph could still not fathom what was happening in her home.

Pastor Joseph had just rounded off their Wednesday Hour of Grace prayer meeting in the church when his phone rang at about 11.30am.

It was their nanny that called and tearfully said, “Oga I beg come home ooo! I no know wetin happen to Bisi ooo! (Sir please come home. I don’t know what happened to Bisi). She cut the line before he could say anything further, but not until the pastor heard some yelling and commotion at the background.

He quickly jumped into his car with deacon Udoh and Sister Margaret who were with him when the call came in.

Without wasting time with further details let me tell you what happened. The nanny said that she came back from the market and met the front door open, which is very unusual. She entered into the house, went straight to the living room and saw the only daughter of the Josephs, Bisola stone dead on the sofa.

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She ran outside the compound in fear and alerted the neighbours and the security men at the estate gate. That is the summary of what happened there.

Let us leave other events that happened in-between and address this sad incident: What do you think happened to Bisola? Who is the first suspect in this case assuming you are assigned to investigate this incident?

Your guess is as good as mine. But let us see more facts as they unveil…

In the midst of the uproar and confusion, one of the police officers who came there asked them if there was anything like CCTV in their house.

And Pastor Joseph answered in the affirmative. He then led the team to make the most painful discovery of their lives so far.

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From the CCTV recordings, they saw that a male figure came into the house at about 10.15 am and Bisola opened the door to him.

He came in and sat a while talking with the girl before other ugly things followed. From the moment he came in he went straight and sat near the girl on the 3-seater sofa she was reclining on reading a novel.

Bisola was relaxed and smiling heartily with him all the while. Suddenly the scene changed. He pinned her down on the floor and raped her. He was raping her and using the pillow to snuff the life out of her at the same time.

When he was done the first round he got up and moved round the house in search of God-knows-what.

After walking round he came back to the motionless body of the girl and raped her again then picked her and dropped her on the seat. He went further to bring out a small bottle from his pocket, opened it and tried to force some of the content into her mouth.

When it was obvious the liquid was not going down, he went into the kitchen and poured the content into the kitchen sink, came back and placed the empty bottle near the sofa where the girl lay; he made sure he opened it and dropped the cover on the floor. When he was done he quietly opened the door and left.

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Don’t cry yet because more horrifying revelations are coming. Let’s check this place tomorrow to know what happened next.

From the CCTV footage, it was not difficult for the pastor to pick who the killer was. Even the nanny was called in by the police and she immediately identified the monster. In other words, he was well known to the family.

Mrs. Joseph was too shattered to be made to watch any video, but I guess she too would have been able to recognize the assailant.

The policemen encouraged the pastor to put himself together and put a call across to the killer and invite him to come and help him to do something in the church.

He obliged and mustered courage and made a call to the guy at the other end. He was asked to put the call on speaker so that others could follow in the conversation.

The pastor sounded as calm as ever while the voice at the other end was enthusiastic to hear from him. And the brief discussion went thus:

Pastor Joseph: Hello my boy, how are you doing today?

Voice: I am fine sir. What of mummy and other members of the family?

Pastor: They are good; we bless God. Voice: Ok sir.

Pastor: I don’t know, ehnn, are you so busy this afternoon? Voice: Not really sir. Is there something you want me to do for you? Pastor: Good to hear that. Can you come over to the church now to help me type some mails?

Voice: Yes, sir. I will be there very soon.

Pastor: Oh, that’s my boy. I am expecting you dear. Line cuts.

The pastor entered his car while one of the police officers drove and they went to the church. On getting there the pastor went into his office with one of the police men while the rest waited in the car.

In a space of about 10 minutes a young man walked into the premises and went straight to the pastor’s office. You should know what happened there and then.

By now another police vehicle had joined them in the church. They drove back to Milimuck Estate where the Josephs live.

Back to the house, the CCTV footage was played for the young man the police came back with to watch. He was instructed not say a word but to watch quietly till the end, which he did.

At the end of the footage, the senior police officer announced, “young man whatever you say or do here may be used against you in the law court. Shall we proceed to the station please?”

Meanwhile, before they got back to the house Mrs. Joseph had been rushed to the hospital. The whole incident was too much for her to contain. Her elder sister, Dr. (Mrs.) Davies did not want to take chances knowing fully well that Mrs. Joseph was a known hypertension, as well as ulcer patient.

So, Dr. Davies arranged for her to be moved to her private clinic for close monitoring and observation, at least for that night.

I guess you may be asking within your mind, “who is that young man?” Don’t worry we shall soon find out. But before then let me tell you a little more about the Josephs family.

Pastor and Mrs. Joseph had two children, 20 year old David who is currently doing his NYSC in Rivers state, Nigeria and his 12 year old Bisola who was in JSS 3, in one of the private secondary schools in Lagos state before her gruesome murder.

As I said earlier, the Josephs family is a very godly and friendly family. Their 2 children are just good and also very intelligent. You hardly see them outside unless they are going to the church with their parents.

And they don’t even have many friends. They have few selected friends, mostly from their church and a few others from their estate.

Dave has a friend who is a member of their church music group. Both of them went to the same school from their primary to secondary school. But they separated when they were about to enter the university.

Dave did a 4-year course in the university while his friend went in for engineering, which was a 5-year program. Hence, Dave graduated before his friend and went to serve.

Meanwhile, when Dave came home after his orientation camp he discovered that his friend had been at home for some weeks.

When he asked him what he was doing at home he told him that there was a practical course he was sent to do in one of the firms in Lagos before coming back to finish his final year. And Dave believed him.

Dave and his friend were always together during the holidays. That was about the only friend he was allowed to visit from time to time. Both families became good friends because of the two boys.

This guy was like a second son to the Josephs. When Pastor Joseph traveled to the UK for a program he made sure that he bought the same kind of wears for his son and the friend.

Everybody in Pastor Joseph’s home loved this boy and even treated him as one of them. If he came to the house and wanted to eat, even if the family had finished eating the nanny would be asked to get him something to eat.

On several occasions he had spent not just a night but nights and days with the Josephs. To say that they were close may be an understatement but let us just leave it there.

It was barely 5 days after Dave went back to his place of service that his only sister, Bisola was gruesomely murdered. Bisola was at home that fateful day because their school was on mid-term break.

Her mum went to work while her dad went for a program in the church. The nanny had gone to Mile 12 market to buy some food items that morning.

I guess you are beginning to pick the pieces together as to unravel who killed Bisola. But before we finally name the dog, I want to ask you some questions.

· What do you know about your child’s best friend?

· Do you know that even the most trusted friend can be used by the devil to give your family a deadly blow?

· Are you sure the people you call your family friends share the same values with your own family? Are you sure they teach their own children same things you teach yours?

What of their religious beliefs and practices, because I have come to understand that some families believe one thing and practice another?

· When you are talking to your children and educating them on the issues of life, do you make it a point of duty to include their friends in the teachings?

· When was the last time you checked the call log and chats/messages on your child’s phone?

· Have you ever thought of organizing an in-house training/discussion on basic life issues like sexuality, friendship, academic excellence, and the likes for your children and their friends?

Even if you cannot handle it by yourself you can get some people who are good in such areas to help you.

· Do you agree with me that your own children are not safe until every other child out there is safe?

· Do you, from time to time, find out the state of the relationship between your children and their close friends?

· Apart from your children, who are the other friends kept by their close friends? This is because the friend of our friend is also our friend.

· Do you know that the fact that you are a child of God does not make your family totally immune to some of the pains other families are passing through?

· Do you know that you may be sincerely wrong to trust some unproven friends?

· Is there any reason under heaven why you should allow your daughter to be very close and relaxed with a young man without any measure of fear or suspicion?

· Are you aware that sexual hormones do not know who is a sibling or a friend?

· Do you know that at times boys can use their association with your son to get at your girls and vice versa?

· Am I wrong to say that none of my children should entertain their friends inside their room? Every friend must stay and be entertained in the living room, irrespective of who they are.

· Am I also wrong to say that I do not allow their friends to sleep-over in my home unless I am fully persuaded about who I am relating with, down to knowing the family and their value system?

· Who are your own friends?

· What is the testimony of people in your area about your family?

Please forgive me for throwing this number of questions to you at the same time. By the way, I still have many questions to ask but I just remembered that we are still looking for Bisola’s murderer.

At the police station, the police quizzed the young man they picked from Pastor Joseph’s house.

Officer: What is your name? Young man: (in a muffled voice) Edward Officer: Edward who? Young man: Edward Megida. Officer: Edward, did you recognize the man in the CCTV footage you watched before we left Pastor Joseph’s house? Edward: Ye-ye-yes sir. Officer: Who was that? Edward (stammering the more) I – I – I am the one. But sir it was the devil’s work (crying now).

Officer: (mockingly) you wrote an application letter to the devil and he employed you without pay but we are going to pay you here.

This will be a good lesson other devil’s employees like you. Now tell me, why did you kill that innocent girl?

Edward: Sir I I, it was the devil. Another officer: (kicking him from behind) come on speak out before I destroy you now! criminal like you!

Officer: My guy stop this your crocodile tears and just tell us everything you know about the death of that girl. And you better talk now before our oga comes here ooo! If you cooperate with us we may even do something for you before or when he comes. Edward: Sir I didn’t want to kill her but I was afraid that she might tell her family what I did to her. Officer: What did you do to her? Edward: I I raped her. Officer: (sounding amused) are you sure we will not collect that your dick from you so that it will not land you into trouble again? By the way, how did you gain entrance into the house? Was the door not locked? Edward: Bisola opened the door for me but the gate was open when I came. Officer: Why did she open the door for you? What did you use to threaten her? Edward: I did not threaten her at all. She just opened the door for me? Officer: Why?

Edward still has a lot of revelations and confessions to make, he may even have some accomplice(s) within or outside the Josephs family. Let’s cap it up tomorrow with those revelations. I am still your friend.

Edward: She knows me very well and I have been going to their house.

Officer: What do you normally go there to do?

Edward: Her elder brother, David is my best friend?

Another officer: (hit him on the head) you are a very wicked boy! You raped and killed the only sister of your best friend. You are not supposed to be alive by now.

Officer: Why did you do that, a fine young man like you? Did you want her to be your girl friend and she refused?

Edward: Sir I don’t know what came over me.

Officer: When was the last time you went to their house?

Edward: About six days ago, just before David went back to Rivers State where he is serving.

Officer: What happened that day, which warranted your going back to kill that girl?

Edward: Sir nothing unusual happened. All of us were just gisting and playing games in David’s room as we used to do before.

Officer: Who were the other people?

Edward: I mean three of us – David, Bisola and I.

Officer: So what happened?

Edward: Nothing sir. It is just that I became attracted to her. That day she was wearing one black bum shots like that, which was quite revealing of her very fair skin on her laps.

And as we were playing she bent over my body to collect her phone from David and her chest rested on my own. At that moment I didn’t know what happened to me again and I started imagining some weird things.

Officer: So?

Edward: I quickly got up and told them that I was going and I left. Officer: And?

Edward: When I got home I could not get her off my mind and I desired to have her by all means.

Officer: Continue.

Edward: That was just that. When my parents went to work in the morning I told my siblings that I wanted to pick some things from the mall and left the house. I went to their house straight.

Officer: How did you know she was alone in the house by that time?

Edward: I called her and told her that I just wanted to know how she was doing and if she was missing

Dave. It was then she told me that she was alone and would not mind if I paid her a visit.

Officer: So you accepted the invitation and went and killed her?

Edward: I didn’t mean to. I only wanted to have fun with her. But she just died when I was still on that.

Officer: (getting angry with him for the first time or so it appears) will you shut up your mouth you lying beast! She died while you were making love to her meanwhile the footage showed you suffocating her with a pillow.

You even came around to have a second round with her lifeless body. And that reminds me, what was that liquid you tried to force down her throat?

Edward: (obviously terrified) sir…sir, it…it was Sniper. But I just took a small quantity from the one in our house.

Officer: You said you did not want to kill her, why then did you go there with Sniper?

Edward: I…I…I don’t..

A slap from the other officer behind him could not let him complete the statement on his lips.

Officer: Now tell me, how many other girls have you done this to because you seem to be a master in the art?

Edward: Sir, this is just the first time I wa…

Another slap and a shove from the other officer brought him down to the floor with a heavy thud. This made him to cry out in pain. He was however mercilessly forced to stand on his feet again.

Officer: I am giving you the last chance before something sinister happens to you. Tell me how long you have been in this business and who your accomplices are. By the way, why are you not in school since they said you are a final year student of Victory Crest University?

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Edward: (shaking like a leaf with blood dripping from one of his nostrils) Sir, I was sent out of school about 2 months ago because I got involved in a cult activity. But my parents are still trying to see if they can work their way into getting me back to the school.

That is why no one knows about it yet. It was other members of the cult I joined in the school that introduced me into gang-raping of girls. They also taught me that the best way to avoid being caught is to eliminate the victim after using her.

I don’t know the number of girls I have raped from my second year in the university when I joined the cult but this is the second one to die in my hands.

Officer: Who and where was the first victim?

Edward: She was a girl in my department in the school and it happened during one of our gang activities in the school.

ALSO READ: Journalism is not a crime. Stop the killings

We raided the girls’ hostel and her room happened to be one of the rooms assigned to me to raid. We were meant to raid the girls’ rooms and collect their hand sets and other valuables.

But when I got to their room her room mates were not there so I decided to rape her. While raping her she called out my name so I decided to kill her to cover my tracks.

Officer: Mhnn, oh boy you have gone far ooo. Listen to your language; you decided to kill her TO COVER YOUR TRACKS. How did you do that? Well, I don’t think that is necessary now. Are your parents aware of all these?

Edward: They got to know when they were invited to the school because of the last incident that involved the daughter of the deans of students’ affairs.

Officer: How old are you?

ALSO READ: Every time I meet a new guy, he is married or not serious

Edward: I will be 20 years in December.

At this juncture those who went to the clinic to bring Mrs. Joseph and their nanny for some interrogations came in with them.

Of course they had told her to console herself with the fact that her daughter’s murderer has been caught and was already in police custody.

ALSO READ: Sudan summons Ethiopia envoy over cross-border attack

Hence, Mrs. Joseph entered the interrogation room with the utmost curiosity to know who she offended so much that decided to take smiles from her face for the rest of her life.

And to think of it, that fateful day the T-shirt Edward was wearing was the same one Mrs. Joseph bought for him and his son, David when she took them to the trade fair complex about a year ago. She was not prepared for what she saw when she entered into the police interrogation office.

On seeing Edward in that dimly lit police interrogation room, every atom of strength that remained in Mrs. Joseph left her. Just before she collapsed on the floor, she managed to say in a trembling voice, “EDWARD, ARE YOU THE ONE?”

ALSO READ: Just see how dryspel is driving my pastor to Ex-adultery

These are the facts we have been able to pick from the story:

· Edward, David Jospeh’s best friend killed Bisola, the only sister David had. · Edward killed Bisola right inside her parents’ house, where he had always spent good times with the family before that fateful date. · Bisola trusted Edward so much and as such did not hesitate to throw their door wide open for him despite the fact that she was alone in the house. Another proof that 90% of pedophiles and other child sexual molesters are people known to the child. · Neither David nor his family knew that his best friend was a cultist and serial rapist.

ALSO READ: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR JOB · They also did not know that he was already rusticated from the campus and could not conclude his final year. · Edward was filled with lustful desires to waste Bisola from the day she unconsciously exposed her thighs and chest in a very unbecoming manner before him.

Another reason why we should ensure that our daughters dress decently even at home, especially when there are male visitors in the house.

That is the end of the story for now. But watch out for another series. Draw your own conclusions as a parent and as a family. I am still your friend.

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[hellomissmabel]

Bad liars

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Stucky, Bucky x reader, Steve x reader, mentions of Bruce Wayne, Steve Trevor, Wanda Maximoff, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff, Peggy and Sharon Carter, Sam Wilson, Lance Tucker

Warnings: Angsty-ish but with a fluffy ending. Sort of. Mentions of death (loss of loved ones) and a bad stepmother.

Word count: 3.875

Summary: Steve has a heart to heart with Bucky’s one-night-stand

A/N: Written for @mrshopkirk because she’s wanted some fluff and @winterboobaer because it was her birthday!

“Hi, I’m Y/N and euhm… Is Bucky here by any chance? Bucky Barnes?”

Steve shakes his head and chuckles at the girl standing in front of him, nervously wringing her hands. “Yeah, Buck’s here alright.”

The relief is visible when it washes over her and she smiles a little. She’s got a beautiful smile, Steve thinks, no wonder she’s here for Bucky. He always had a sweet spot for pretty girls with pretty smiles and a knack for seducing them.

“He left his wallet at my place. I went to his home address first but his upstairs neighbour said he’s most likely here.” Looking down at her feet shuffling on the pavement of the sidewalk, a little strand of her hair falls in front of her eyes. She tucks it behind her ear as she looks back at him, confirming Steve’s suspicion that she’s exactly Bucky’s type. The shy girls are always the most fun, Bucky used to say to him.

“He sure is,” Steve grins a little wider. “Buck’s always out on Tuesday night and ends up here at about 6 a.m. like clockwork. Wednesday is my day off, so I make him something between breakfast and a savoury snack before he passes out on my couch.”

She laughs heartily, the sound intoxicating and soon Steve’s laughing with her. “Bucky knows the drill. Leave everything the way it was when he arrived. There’s food in the fridge and he has a spare key so he can lock everything up if I’m not around.”

“I see. Can you give this to him, please?,” she asks kindly, handing over Bucky’s wallet to Steve which he gladly accepts and stuffs in the back pocket of his jeans.

“Thanks. He’ll be happy to have it back. I’m Steve by the way. You wanna come in for a cup of coffee? It’s fresh and it’s the least I can do after you’ve come all this way here to give Bucky back his wallet.”

She blushes but refuses his offer. “It’s nothing, really. No need to thank me. I needed a change of scenery anyway, Manhattan can be sometimes be a little… overwhelming.”

Steve nods softly, his gut feeling telling him that it’s not just Manhattan she’s talking about. Yet he keeps his foot down, giving her his most charming smile to which she eventually concedes. He holds open the door for her to move past him and come in. Y/N stops halfway, looking around the hallway for the kitchen. Steve smiles sincerely as he walks in front of her all to the back of the house and into the kitchen.

“So you’re the lucky girl that got to enjoy Bucky’s company last night.” He tries to break the ice by making a light remark, gingerly hurrying about the kitchen on his tiptoes trying not to wake up Bucky who’s snoring on the living room couch in the next room.

“I took him to my place, we had sex and after that he just left. So yeah, if lucky means getting laid then I’m most definitely a lucky girl,” Y/N replies jokingly, accompanied by a dry chuckle from Steve.

“Bucky never stays over. Just not his M.O.,” Steve sighs softly as he hands her a cup of coffee for which she thanks him kindly. “Don’t feel bad about it. He usually takes his lovers to his own apartment. He never lets himself wander into unknown territory  o I’m surprised to hear you took him to your place. That’s a first.”

The girl rolls her eyes, hardly impressed by Bucky’s lack of chivalry. She’s been around men long enough to know that Bucky is not the only one like this. “Well I usually don’t do one-night-stands either. But Bucky just has something about it that makes it very hard to resist him. I made an exception for him.”

“Oh, you don’t have to explain yourself,” Steve winks at her. “I’ve been there too.”

She sends him a curious glance to which Steve can only chuckle. “I didn’t think you were the type to sit back and watch his friend take all the ladies home. You strike me more as the type who shows the ladies a good time as well.”

Steve lets out a light yet hearty laugh. “Thank you, I guess? But yeah, I’m actually bisexual,” he explains matter-of-factly. “Bucky is my best friend but he’s also my ex. Ex-boyfriend.”

“So Bucky is…” He can see the dominos falling behind her eyes, collapsing one by one at first and then faster and faster until the connection is made. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that. Some of my friends are bisexual as well but… they’re all girls and I… I’ve never slept with a bisexual guy before. Or at least I think so.”

“You probably have but they just never told you,” Steve says softly, trying not to step on any toes. “I know Bucky certainly never does and I only mention it when the girl, or guy for that matter, asks about it.”

She tilts her head at his remark, thinking it over and nodding. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re probably right,” she says with a small laugh, hiding her face in her hands. “Oh man, my love life is so ugly.”

“You wanna bet on that?,” Steve challenges her friskily. “Wanna exchange stories?”

She laughs again, but it sounds a bit strained to his ears. “Okay, okay,” she relents bashfully. “I take the bait. When I was in college, Sharon and Nat had this personal coach, Lance Tucker. As a ballerina, Nat always has to stay in shape and Sharon’s a gymnast just like Lance. Lance Tucker, you know, the gold medallist at the Olympics?” Steve nods eagerly, eyes wide in amazement. “Yup, he was their coach.”

“And because I’m far from athletic and not flexible at all, Peggy didn’t even consider whether or not I’d be interested in sports. I was so jealous of the attention Peggy gave my half-sisters that I found a way to get some attention for myself, too. A different kind of work-out. I was no troublemaker but I wasn’t innocent either and Lance, the coach, he liked that about me. He was an overly confident dickhead but I didn’t care. He was hot and I was horny.”

Exhaling sharply, she laces her fingertips a little tighter around her mug. “Peggy sent Lance away when she found out we were seeing each other. In hindsight, I realised I actually loved him. And Peggy knew, she knew that Lance, even though he wasn’t exactly cut out to be boyfriend material, that he made me happy. So she sent him away… to hurt me. And that’s the beginning of my tragedy.”

Y/N releases a shuddering breath, warning Steve that the hardest part is still to come. “I met my first and regrettably also last long-term boyfriend not long after that. His name was also Steve, Steve Trevor. He was a fighter pilot in the army and we dated for a very long time, pretty much up until the day he died. His plane was shot down and landed in the ocean. They never found his body. I guess everything in my life went downhill from there. Steve was without a doubt the love of my life.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” She hears his words but does not register them, smiling sadly into the contents of her mug.

“So I’ve basically been sleeping around since then. I briefly dated Bruce Wayne but I did that just to piss off Peggy more than anything else. I liked him very much but I didn’t love him. He was more like a sugar daddy to me after Peggy cut my allowance. I didn’t add up to her expectations, I wasn’t getting over my grief quickly enough and postponing all these social activities she wanted me to partake in… But I just couldn’t put up with her bullshit anymore, I couldn’t put up a straight face and smile like I didn’t just lose my boyfriend in a terrible accident.”

Her smile, her laugh, the tears in her eyes, it all adds up into a bittersweet story. On the outside, she seems like a regular girl with nice clothes and a pretty smile. She looks like the kind of person you want to be associated with, not too high class or stuck up but with a proper character. But that proper character has been shaped by a lot of pain and a decent amount of hurting.

“Taking away the money my father left me was her way of punishing me.” Y/N’s voice is merely a whisper now, dying down in the stillness of the kitchen and almost disappearing into Bucky’s snoring. “I needed money because even though Nat offered to support me, it would’ve only further angered Peggy. So I started looking for a gentleman in need of a lady and a lay. Peggy eventually gave me my money back after Bruce found out just how poorly she treated me and he threatened to ruin her reputation.”

Her tone has taken on a certain determination, like she wanted Steve to know that nobody messes with her like that again. There’s power in her eyes and Steve releases a low whistle. “Yeah, no, there’s nothing I can say that will top that. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”

“Oh no, I want to hear it. I don’t – I don’t want anyone’s pity,” she waves him off. “It’s your turn, Stevie. Tell me about your fucked up romances. It’s fine if you don’t want to share them.”

“Alright, alright…,” Steve chuckles, a little unsure if she really wants to hear his story or if it’s all a diversion. Maybe she’s really interested or maybe she’s trying to lock away the damage done. Maybe she’s hiding, stomping out the scars she showed him just now.

“My very first crush was Sam Wilson.” Y/N’s eyes grow big at this and he chuckles lightly. “Yeah, I went to high school with Sam Wilson, the famous football player. My high school was full of jocks and wannabe cheerleaders. Anyway, because Bucky was a pretty popular guy in high school and I kinda ran with the same crowd. Not because I was popular but because Bucky told – no, ordered everyone to be nice to me and treat me kindly. Sam was a part of his inner circle. He wasn’t gay or bisexual and was always surrounded by girls swooning and fawning over him. Being gay or bisexual wasn’t exactly… accepted. But Bucky didn’t care and stood up for me.”

“Bucky and I… We’ve been together since high school. But then halfway through college we kinda lost track of each other. Bucky was forced to move away to another state so he could take care of his sister, Becca. But his sister got better and they both moved back to New York. Meanwhile I had a brief affair with Tony Stark. Tough façade, kind heart. But he wasn’t exactly comfortable with his sexuality. It didn’t last very long though because he left me for a women, Pepper. And yes, in case you’re wondering, there have been girls. Like Bucky’s upstairs neighbour Wanda. Wanda and I were in a relationship for almost a year. But it just wasn’t the same, you know? I’m pretty sure Bucky is my soulmate, but we just can’t figure out a way to make it work.”

“If it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way to be together. You obviously care a lot about him. You love him.” Y/N stares straight into Steve’s eyes, sending chills running down his spine. It’s like she can read his mind, which of course is impossible. But it seems like she can somehow feel what he’s feeling. He knows she understands, he knows she gets what he’s saying.

Nevertheless, the doubt remains too strong to just ignore. “Y/N… What if Bucky doesn’t…”

Setting the cup down on the kitchen table, she places her hands on mine. “Just talk to him, Steve. Talk to him about how you feel.”

Steve nods faintly, an insecure smile painted on his face. “I might just to that.”

“God Steve, you’re such a bad liar. Why not pinkie promise, eh?,” Y/N coyly kinks an eyebrow as she holds up her pinkie. Steve links his pinkie with hers and they shake on it, bursting into a soft fit of giggles. “I’m sorry if it’s awkward, you know, talking about your love for Bucky with one of his one-night-stands…”

“Nah, it’s fine. You’re a really nice person, Y/N, I feel… strangely comfortable talking to you about this.”

Y/N’s lips curl into a genuine smile as she move to speak further words of encouragement, but she is promptly interrupted by the innocuous chiming of her cell phone. She takes her phone out of her purse and looks at it, frowning. Y/N apologises for the interruption and moves to put it away again but it buzzes again and this time she doesn’t wait for it to stop, simply pressing decline.

“Something wrong?,” Steve asks concerned.

“Yeah, no, it’s just… I’m supposed to be somewhere in an hour but I don’t want to go. It’s something my stepmother Peggy set up for me and my half-sisters, Nat and Sharon. She says it’s for charity but we both know it’s just to show off,” she shrugs half-heartedly.

“Ah that sucks,” Steve offers as a meagre reply, unsure of what to say exactly.

Humming in agreement, she takes a sip from the mug of steaming coffee, her gaze fixed on the dark liquid once she puts it down again, studying it quietly. “Especially when you don’t have a date,” she continues after a moment of silence and a deep sigh.

“I was hoping I was still too hungover to show up and Nat would make me stay home. But I can take my alcohol pretty well, thanks to my father’s fantastic genes. I only get really tipsy and never drunk, which unfortunately Nat, Sharon and Peggy know all too well.”

“So I take it you’re not very close with your family at all,” Steve pitches gingerly, trying not to step on any toes. It’s a daring question and she seems hesitant to give him an answer. So he stops his pursuit for a reply and just nods. “Me neither. Dad bailed when I was still in diapers. Mom had to raise me all by herself. She died a couple years back and I was a wreck after that. It’s around the same time I met Bucky, he really saved me.”

“I’m sorry about your parents, Steve. But I’m glad you had Bucky to pull you through after your mother’s decease. I didn’t have anybody.” Seeing the colour drain from her face again, just a single, little light still flickering behind her eyes, Steve suddenly feels very sorry for the girl.

She takes a deep breath, collecting herself, and speaks up again in a very soft voice. “Peggy, my stepmother, has had a long list of husbands. Her first husband was Sharon’s father. She married him for love and he walked away on her. Her second husband, Nat’s father, she married for money. She divorced him after two years when she found out he was cheating on her. Her third husband, my father, she married neither for love or money. She married him for power. And after much discussion, she eventually adopted me but much to her dismay. Then my father died of a heart attack and I suddenly had no mother, no father and a stepmother who didn’t want me. I’m like Cinderella but without the prince.”

Momentarily Steve is capable of catching the colours of regret running like a current behind her words. She’s slipped into a state of recollection, hit like a speed train by the freshness of her wounds. “I’m sorry, probably too much information on a Wednesday morning and we don’t even know each other.”

“No, it’s fine,” Steve reassures her. “We all need somebody to talk to about our problems and what better person to talk to than a perfect stranger.”

She chuckles, wiping away a tear that has escaped the corner of her eye. “How did you cope?”

“When in college, I took art classes at the local art academy and I also gave tours at the museum in my spare time. Huge history nerd back in the day.” Steve smiles fondly at the memory.

“I attempted playing a saxophone once and I almost got the fingering right. But let’s just say a career in music is not something I should pursue very soon. Anyway, I would’ve stayed at home, withering away in my grief if it wasn’t for Bucky dragging me along. He was the one that suggested taking drawing lessons and trying to master playing an instrument. He kept me busy. He’s been my best friend for a very long time and when we started dating, things just fell into place I guess. I felt myself again. I was ready to move on.”

“I attempted playing the piano when I was younger, mainly because my mother pushed me into it and so I could help out Nat. She’s a ballerina and I used to play on the piano and watch her do her routines. It gave me some kind of solace, some kind of peace. The compositions, no matter how hard, they always make sense. If you put your mind to it, you can play them. It takes time, though, and I wasn’t given much. Peggy, she… she’s not my mother and she hasn’t made much effort trying to be one either. Peggy told me to keep myself together and Nat, well, at least she’s kind to me. I love her but not like a sister, more like a friend. We don’t always see eye to eye but that’s okay. Sharon’s always away on another competition, she’s a gymnast, so she didn’t really have to care, you know?”

“You know, Bucky plays the keys. Maybe you can get together some time and he can teach you a couple notes?”

“No. No, that’s too much to ask.”

“I’m sure Bucky wouldn’t mind, Y/N.”

She’s a good liar. She’s good at lying to herself. Lying through her teeth, convinced the past doesn’t affect her anymore. But we’re all lying to ourselves about that, aren’t we? In what way are we different? In what way don’t we go about our days like nothing happened and everything is fine while there’s so much background noise?

From the corner of her eyes, Y/N can see a dim figure emerging from the living room. “Hey there, stranger. Good morning, Steve,” Bucky greets the pair who turn both their heads in the direction of his voice.

Bucky tries to suppress a yawn, sleepily weaving his fingers through his hair and scratching his day-old stubble. His voice is hoarse and his breath still laced with alcohol. “What are you doing here? Y/N, right? I don’t remember bringing you here… Or did I bring you here and was I just too drunk to remember it?”

“She came to give you this.” Steve holds up Bucky’s wallet and he releases a grateful sigh.

“You’re a lifesaver, Y/N. How can I return the favour? I’ll do anything.”

“You should probably get rid of that hangover first before you start making promises like that,” Steve jokes, getting up from his seat across from Y/N to fix Bucky a cup of coffee, too.

“I should probably get going,” Y/N suddenly blurts out, intimidated by the presence of Bucky. She doesn’t want to overstay her welcome and she’s definitely already taken up enough of Steve’s time with her ramblings. “You know, the family thing,” she says to Steve, albeit apologetically.

“Hey, if you ever need someone to talk to again…,” Steve suggests softly, “I’m here for you. We,” he turns to Bucky and smiles, “We are here for you, aren’t we, buddy?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but yeah, we’re here for you. I guess…” Steve elbows Bucky in his side and he mutters a small “ow” under his breath, never breaking eye contact with Y/N. She looks even better in daylight, he thinks to himself.

Y/N shyly looks down at her hands. “Thanks guys.”

“You know where we live, so feel free to swing by whenever you want,” Bucky pipes up, his lopsided grin making her heart melt instantly. “Just maybe give us a call beforehand just in case we’re not home. You have my number.”

“I’ll let you out,” Steve proposes but Bucky stops him before he can say or do anything else.

“No, I’ll let her out, Steve. I gotta talk to her anyway.”

Steve’s a little bit confused by Bucky’s change of heart but decides it’s for the best he lets Bucky just do his thing. No point in arguing over something he’ll probably explain later. As he watches Bucky place his hand on the small of Y/N’ back, guiding her back to the front door, his heart clenches together involuntarily at the sight. Maybe Bucky does swing more for the other side than he originally anticipated. After all, almost all his bed partners besides Steve himself are women.

When Bucky and Y/N arrive at the front door, she turns to the brunet with a sweet smile. “Thanks for the other night, Buck. Even though you were hammered, you did a pretty good job,” she chuckles as she pokes him in the ribs. “Can’t remember the last time I had three orgasm in a row.”

“I wasn’t that drunk, Y/N,” Bucky bites back good-humouredly, sending her a little wink. “But I’m glad you enjoyed it. I, euhm, what I wanted to talk to you about…” Bucky’s eyes shoot back over his shoulder, glancing down the hall to see if Steve might be listening in. “I couldn’t help but overhear some parts of your conversation with Stevie.”

“Which parts?,” Y/N inquires carefully.

“About Steve still being in love with me. Is that… true?”

“He loves you so much, Buck,” Y/N confirms in a tender tone, squeezing his bicep in reassurance. “And I have a feeling you still love him, too.”

“Very much so,” Bucky admits as he gently releases the breath he’s been holding ever since the start of this conversation.

“Well better hurry up then, Steve’s been waiting long enough,” Y/N pecks Bucky’s cheek before taking her leave, waving at him before grabbing a cab back to her place, leaving a very flustered Bucky standing on his porch.

A little, stupid grin creeps up on his lips as he kicks the door closed behind him, Steve’s singing resonating throughout the entire house as he prepares lunch for the two of them. Unexpectedly, Bucky circles his arms around Steve, causing him to stop swinging and swaying to the music playing from the speakers in the living room. Bucky buries his face between Steve’s shoulder blades, mumbling incoherently. “What’s this for? What did I do to deserve this?”

“A little birdie told me you love me. Well, guess what?,” he repeats as he holds Steve close, silently thanking Y/N. “I love you, too, you big dork.”

@beccaanne814-blog @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @marvelingatthewonder @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @italwaysendsinafightt @viollettes @hymnofthevalkyries @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @austinamelio @volklana @4theluvofall @bovaria @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @caplanbuckybarnes @hymnofthevalkyries @nenyakj @amrita31199 @emilyevanston @minervaem @howlingbarnes @buchananbarnestrash @austinamelio @youandb @you-and-bucky @fvckingsteverogers @thatawkwardtinyperson @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @justareader @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @mellifluous-melodramas @its-not-a-phase-hux @melconnor2007 @ivvitm1109 @toofuckinfabulous @ailynalonso15 @jurassicbarnes @howlingbarnes

[jae-bummer]

My Idol: Part Twenty Seven

My Idol From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

My Idol is a South Korean competitive reality dating game show. It currently airs on Wednesday nights on Jae-bummer’s blog. First broadcast in 2016, the show offers the opportunity for a lucky fan to go on seven blind dates with seven idols. The idol plans the date with the show throwing in specific missions to complete during the day. At the end of the initial dates, the show opens up an audience vote to decide what three idols will move on to the second date.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - Part 16 - Part 17 - Part 18 - Part 19 - Part 20 - Part 21 - Part 22 - Part 23 - Part 24 - Part 25 - Part 26 - Part 27 - Part 28

Taehyung was stretched across the table, playing anxiously with your hands. His own were so much larger than yours, so much stronger, and yet you couldn’t imagine him hurting anything with them. 

Your eyes traced his arms slowly, along his shoulders, and up his neck. They slid along his jaw line and around his lips, the ones you’d sincerely miss kissing. Finally, they came to rest on his deep, brown eyes, causing him to smile sadly. 

“It’s okay. Really.” 

The words echoed through the room. 

“It’s not,” you whispered. 

Instead of being whisked away as you were during the first voting special, the producers allowed you to spend a short amount of time with Taehyung in private. The audible gasp from the crowd was enough to fuel the tears streaming down your cheeks as soon as they announced Jay’s name. The votes had been close. Single digits close. And it wasn’t that you were unhappy by the thought of another date with Jay. You realized you’d have to do a certain amount of damage control in that arena if he were to even show up for the date, but you had to get through one tragedy before being able to properly focus on another. 

You were unsure who would be voted off, but couldn’t really imagine a future without any of the three men in it. 

“We can still be friends,” Taehyung cooed, petting your hand. “According to the contract, I can contact you in three months. It’ll be fine. There will be no pressure. We can just be...friends.”

Your heart stung at the word. Friends. 

You had gained a lot of famous “friends” through this experience, but you hated the circumstances. 

Taehyung reached up and gently began wiping away at the tears that had clung to your cheeks. “The audience just thought we weren’t the best match...and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean it’s the end.”

You sniffed a bit, nuzzling into Tae’s hand as it remained cupped around your cheek and he continued to speak. “People tell me all the time that I’m not a good match for Bangtan, but I’m still there and my members still think I fit. It’s the same with us. Just because people say we shouldn’t be together, doesn’t mean we listen. After this is all over, then we get a fresh start. Whether it’s as friends, or a couple, or even if we do nothing more than cheer on each other’s lives from the sidelines...that’s our decision. Not some crowd of people I’ve never even met.”

You nodded, trying to let the heavy feeling lift from your chest. “How’d you get to be so smart?”

“To be honest, that was the speech Namjoon hyung gave me last night in case I didn’t make it,” Taehyung chuckled. “It made me feel better so I thought it would make you feel better too.”

“You were right,” you giggled tearfully. You found yourself slowly rising from your seat and crossing the room. You threw your body into Taehyung’s already outstretched arms and sighed. You breathed him in for one last time. 

“It’s not a goodbye,” he whispered. “It’s a see you later.”

“Isn’t that from-” you began slowly. 

“Shhh,” Taehyung cooed. “You can tell me how smart I am again for thinking up these things.” 

You grumbled as you slid into the backseat of the My Idol SUV. You struggled as you tugged in your luggage behind you and up onto the seat. With a loud huff, you leveled a stare at the back of Armpit and Sweaty’s heads in front of you. They had been little to no help in your past five hours of travel. 

When you had embarked on the weekend dates, you never thought that would mean traveling to other countries for a few days. You were amazed as you stood in the airport terminal and were handed a ticket marked for Thailand.

With anxious breaths and sweaty palms you attempted to center your thinking as you peered out of the window and into the streets of Bangkok. My Idol had brought you heartache and anguish, so much so that it was easy to forget the small moments. While you had lost your fair share of tears on My Idol and the contestants involved, you also got to experience breathtaking scenery, visit extraordinary places, and make interesting memories you could always think upon fondly.  

Hopefully you could come out of all of this relatively unscathed and have the capacity to truly appreciate it for what it was. 

Your eyes couldn’t remain focused long enough to really pay attention to the scenery around you as the SUV began to move at an increasing speed. You found yourself wincing every time a motorcycle or scooter got a little too close to the vehicle, but quickly became used to the erratic driving (and when you didn’t, you could just close your eyes.) Before long, you began to hear the sound of airplanes yet again, becoming even more perplexed with your adventure. 

“Uh, not to point out the obvious,” you hummed, halting Sweaty and Armpit’s conversation before you. “But didn’t we just come from an airport?”

“You’re right,” Armpit deadpanned. “We must’ve made a giant circle. Park must’ve not shown up. Time to go home now.”

Your heart skipped a beat as the hefty camera man spoke Jay’s name. “J-Jay is the first date...? Was?  Did he really not show?”

The thought had crossed your mind millions of times on the way to the airport and during the five hour plane ride here. What if you were going to see Jay, but he didn’t care to see you? What if he stood you up? You knew he was still brooding over your exposed secret meeting with Top during the voting special, but surely he wouldn’t abandon you. He did stay for the results after all. 

“If he just would let me explain-” you began quickly, your eyes growing wide as you spun around, focusing on the producers behind you. “Are we really going back-”

“Don’t listen to them,” one of the producers sighed, rolling his eyes. “We’re at a private air strip. It’s the only way to get to Koh Kood.”

“...Koh Kood?” you whispered cautiously. 

“90 minutes on a private jet,” the other producer nodded. “To get to Thailand’s least populated island.”

“This is starting to sound like I signed up for Laws of the Jungle,” you giggled uneasily. 

“Don’t worry,” Armpit grumbled. “It’s also home to some resort.”

“Not just some resort,” the producer hissed. “One of the world’s most exclusive.”

You blinked heavily, trying to internalize the information that had just been fed to you. 

“I have to get on a plane again?” you squeaked, feeling the color begin to drain from your face. You didn’t hate flying, but wouldn’t complain if you got a break from it for a bit. 

“Well, you got a car ride in between,” Sweaty chuckled, almost as if reading your thoughts. 

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Sure, a fifteen minute car ride was just enough to settle your nerves. 

You held your stomach, busy flip flopping from a mix of emotions and travel. As soon as you had disembarked at Koh Kood, you were ushered onto a small speed boat that would take you to your destination. You thought it was an unnecessary amount of travel just to get to a resort, but as soon as you saw the beautiful blue waters lapping the shore of the island, your irritated thoughts seemed to float away. 

For a second, you had even forgotten that you were on a reality television show.

You struggled onto the steps of the dock from the small boat with the assistance of several staff, smiling for the first time since your adventure had began. 

“I missed being on my own two feet,” you whispered to no one in particular. 

“Miss it all you want, because you’re about to be swept off of them,” a familiar voice chuckled. You looked up in surprise, noting that at the end of the line of staff that had assembled, stood Jay, dressed in white from head to toe. 

“Jay,” you breathed, completely taken off guard by his presence. 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he hummed, his smile fading from his lips. “I can still change my mind.”

You closed your mouth, which you hadn’t realized had fallen open, and nodded. You were completely taken aback by the lengths he went to in order to provide a memorable date. Of course everyone could write a dissertation about how lavish his spa outing had been, so you had a difficult time being able to think how he could possibly top that lavish experience. 

And yet, here you were. On a remote island in Thailand at one of the most private resorts in the world. 

“You are so extra,” you muttered, taking Jay’s hand and allowing him to help you up the steps. 

“Thanks?” he muttered, lifting a brow. 

You winced, not intending to actually say the words. You could feel the awkward air between the two of you, completely different from what you were normally used to. Usually upon seeing Jay, your heart and stomach began to flutter and your body melted beneath his touch. This time, you could feel the rigidity in both of your motions. Your stomach felt like it was fighting to fall victim to the vice grip currently secured around your heart. You attempted taking a deep breath, but felt as if the breath didn’t truly inhale, leaving your gasps short and nervous. You didn’t like this feeling. Not with Jay. 

“Do you want to see our room?” Jay asked cautiously. 

Your eyebrows immediately shot up as you looked at him. “Our?”

“I mean, there’s like two couches I could use for a bed,” he said quickly. “Or we could make a pillow barrier between us...we just...”

He leaned in closely, his breath tickling your ear. “We just have to make it through this weekend and then you’ll never have to see me again...okay?” 

You choked on the saliva in your mouth as he spoke the words. Normally when he was that close, what he said into your ear would make you blush, but this was not a side you were happy seeing out of him. 

“We need to talk.”

You closed the doors on Sweaty and Armpit as you stomped through the beautiful villa you and Jay were supposed to share. Not being able to truly appreciate the sights around you until you got this strange weight off of your chest, you tugged Jay along as well. You finally halted as you reached the bedroom area, and pushed him down onto one of the many promised couches. 

“Look, I could’ve not come at all,” Jay grumbled, crossing his arms and looking away from you. 

“Then why did you?” you nearly shouted. You began to pace in front of him. You were angry that he brought you to such a beautiful place, only to taint it with his negativity. 

“I don’t quit,” he said simply. “Not ever in my life have I quit anything and i don’t plan to start now.”

“Right,” you spat, rolling your eyes. You didn’t feel it necessary to bring up his torrid past with JYP, and held your tongue as the words so desperately wanted to escape your lips. “That’s why you’re here. I forget, you have an image to uphold. Is that what this is all about to you? An image?”

“Oh yeah,” Jay chuckled bitterly. “You have us Jaebums pegged. Here to further our careers. Maybe I have a girlfriend too, is that what you think of me?”

“Of course not!” you gasped, halting your pacing to stare at him. “Never have I once thought you had someone else outside of My Idol.”

“I wish I could say the same,” he whispered, refusing to return eye contact. 

“Here we go,” you laughed. “Let’s just say it. I met with Top before our date. No beating around the push and avoiding the topic anymore, Jay. I. Met. With. Top. I took time away from you and gave it to someone else. Is that all you’ve been thinking about for the past week?”

“Well...yeah,” he whispered, his eyes finally meeting yours. “And it really fucking sucked. In case you didn’t know.” 

You sighed, collapsing onto the couch beside him. Your head immediately fell into your hands and you let out a few breaths before deciding to speak again. “I was wrong.”

“Understatement,” he muttered. He shifted to put just a little more space between the two of you. 

“Not an understatement,” you countered. “What I did was wrong, but I don’t deserve this level of petty over it.”

“Petty?” Jay croaked. “Babygirl, you ain’t seen petty yet.” 

“Look,” you groaned. “Top asked me to meet with him. And I wanted to...”

Your memories shifted back to that day in the park. You were so nervous as you sat there, knowing that the minutes you wasted on that bench so rightfully belonged to Jay. “I wanted to because I had to let him know to leave me alone. He didn’t make it to the next level of dates. He cared so desperately about me and I owed it to-”

“You didn’t owe him shit,” Jay argued. “You had one date, Y/N. One. Homeboy is crazy to fall head over  heels after a few hours. If he was smart-”

“If he was smart he would’ve broken the rules to see me more often?” you grumbled. “Between the two of you, neither has played fair.” 

“But I made it through,” Jay whispered. “You owed me your time. Not him.”

“But you didn’t!” you gasped, your own words freezing the blood in your veins. You rapidly tried to recover as a new expression of hurt crossed Jay’s face. “I picked you Jay...you didn’t make it through.”

He pushed his tongue against his teeth as he nodded. “Maybe I should leave then. If I don’t deserve to be here like Jooheon.”

“Did I say that?” you sighed weakly. “Jay...I picked you. You are the one person in this whole competition I got to choose myself. You are the one person who has tirelessly chased after me after I turned you away so many times...if that doesn’t show you I care...I don’t know what will.” 

“Then why did you do it?” he hummed. 

“Do what?”

“Pick me...and meet with him when I was supposed to be more important to you,” he whispered. 

Your eyes looked carefully over Jay. Park Jaebum. Your expression softened as you noted the muscles in his jaw ticking and his face reddened from the argument. You tilted your head to get a better look at his eyes. His brows were furrowed, and his lash line dangerously close to bubbling over with tears of frustration. As much as he would never admit it, you knew Jay felt everything so very deeply and had battled with the wall he had built for so long. He portrayed such a tough and sarcastic facade to the media. It was easy to get Jay Park and Park Jaebum entangled within each other - which they were to an extent. Jay Park was confident, he was sexy, and he would never be hurt. Park Jaebum, on the other hand, loved ferociously, put his all into everything, and was devastated just as equally as he had felt. He needed verbal affirmations just as any other human did.

“Jaebum,” you hummed, calling him by his formal name for the first time since the competition had begun. This immediately caught his attention, causing him to focus on you. “I will tell you...just as I told Top that day. You managed to do something no other man has done in this competition. You made me like you after you knew I wouldn’t. You knew you would have to struggle to make me fall for you, but you never once gave up. It’s admirable what you did. Yes, I questioned if you were really here for me a few times, but I know in my heart...you...Park Jaebum, have always been one hundred percent with me. It is no one thing that made me pick you over the other men who had been eliminated that night...and it ultimately boils down to the same thing I told him...

You have to trust me. We’re all each other have got...And if you don’t trust me...well...then what are we doing here?”

You held your breath as you finished your speech, painting a similar picture to Jay that you had for Top. In the end it had been the final effort to push the eliminated man away...but would this be the last attempt at making Jay stay? 

“I think the only person who calls me Jaebum is my mom,” he said softly. “And maybe Gray.” 

You chuckled, letting a few tears begin to slip from your eyes. What a strange adventure this had all been. 

“I worry sometimes...” Jay continued. “Sometimes I sit in bed and stare at my ceiling. I wonder what the point is to this. If my feelings are being felt alone. When you said you met with Top...that kind of validated how alone I felt when I was on my own. It was easy to believe you didn’t care and it didn’t take much to convince myself. I wanted you to fight for me. I guess that’s why I showed up here today...because I wanted to see if you would fight...

...well, that and I couldn’t get a refund on the tickets.”

Jay gave you a casual side eye to gauge your reaction before taking a deep breath. “I guess I never realized...You’ve fought from day one...you just want someone who’s here for you like you are for them...and I want to do that.”

You both sat in silence for a moment as the heaviness of your conversation began to solidify in your mind. 

“So...so you’re going to stay?” you whispered. 

“Of course I’m going to stay,” he grumbled, tilting to face you on the couch. He gripped the back of your neck and pulled you in until your lips were only centimeters apart. “Did you not hear the part about no refunds?”

To Be Continued...

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 17: Prepare To Get Your Shit Rocked

I wake up not feeling like lechuga, but more like day old salad. It’s the weekend and my whole day was free to cause chaos. I could spend it trying to see if I need anything to pack for the internship, but I wanted to do something fun to keep my mind off things. After breakfast, I just floated around trying to occupy myself before figuring out what to do/where to go. 

“What are you doing?” asked Iida as I was idly floating in the commons room.

“I’m just floatin’, trying to figure out what to do.”

“Well, um, want to hear about the weird dream I had?”

“Sure!” I got excited and dropped myself on the couch, Iida sat next to me.

“Imagine this! I dreamt that I was living with my spouse in our new house, beautiful home with a backyard. But what made it weird was that instead of children, we had dogs! And they talked and everything, even called me dad. Could you imagine having 4 dogs?!”

“That sounds like what I want! The multiple dogs part, not sure about everything else.”

“Why do you want more than one dog? We took care of Mr Muffins for an hour and a half and we couldn’t handle it!”

“Wait...Tenya, have you ever had a pet?”

“No, my parents didn’t allow me or my brother to have pets. Especially in the house!”

“Chaotic idea, but what if we go as a class to adopt a pet?”

“Is it against house rules?”

“It isn’t because we can play it off as Koda needing it to practice his quirk.”

“Hmmm, playing with loopholes...I’m in!”

“What are you two plotting?” said a very suspicious Aizawa “another one of your master plans Miss Palma?”

“Sort of? I was saying that we should go as a class to go adopt a pet.”

“We can go to the rescue shelter as a class BUT we’re going as community service, no guarantee that we’re going to adopt a pet.”

“I’ll take that compromise!” I said standing up “anything to escape my boredom.”

And like that we got everyone to join in on our little ‘community service’ trip to the rescue shelter. The people at the shelter just let us play with their animals, as they don’t get as many visitors and they too wanted to escape their boredom. 

“Don’t push! Everyone gets a hug!” I scolded the dogs as I was hugging one of the smaller pups.

“Look how sweet these cats are!” said Midoriya in the middle of the cat play pen “we should convince sensei to get a cat.”

Everyone was in agreement and we start searching for a cat to adopt.

“Ok lets wrap it up here” said Aizawa waking up from his nap “before you get attached.”

“Aw but sensei, can’t we adopt one of these lil babies?” begged Koda.

“We’re not getting a class pet and thats-”

“But sensei! Are you saying you’re gonna say no that this sweet little kitty?” I said picking up a one year old black with white and orange splotches cat “Look at him! He doesn’t have home and wants to cuddle up when you nap nap!”

He looks at the cat with his serious face and the cat stared back. The cat let his little tongue peek out and that won him over. “Fine, we’ll get him” he sighed in defeat as he picked up the cat from my arms “just hurry up and choose his bowls and stuff as I sign the papers.”

I couldn’t believe that worked and we all scurried to get his bowls, bed, toys, food and collar. When we got to the dorms, we gave the cat a tour of the place and settled him in.

“What should we name him?” asked Mina as she pet the cat “I was thinking maybe, Baby.”

“tch, it should be something cool! Like Lord Explosion Murd-”

“We are NOT calling this sweet little boy your hero name reject, Bakugo!” I scolded “anyways I was thinking Captain Pancakes.”

“WAIT!” spoke up Sero “lets call him Cat-ptain!”

“You know what Sero, that has to be one of the dumbest things you have ever said in my line of hearing...BUT I’m into it so I’m all for Catptain.” I said to roast as a cover to me liking the name. Not everyone was into it but we couldn’t come up with a better name, so Catptain it was. The first night was great but the cat seemed to like Aizawa a whole lot and mainly followed him and napped with him. The next 2 weeks goes by smoothly and with a lot of work getting done before starting to prep for the internship. That all soon changed when I was running late on a Wednesday, 1 and a half weeks before internship.

-Wednesday, teleporting in the intel wing-

“Oh jeez I have 2 minutes!” I said dead sprinting to my homeroom “why did I think it was ok to do a peel off mask?!” I dash in 30 seconds before the tardy technicality but something was off about everybody, they were all huddling over the side counter.

“Palma-san, he’s dead!” said Yuka with tears in her eyes.

I didn’t need anymore context and I dropped my coffee tumbler “ZIPPY NO!” I start bawling “our sweet little boy! who’s responsible for this?!”

“We reviewed the security footage” Hansai wiped his eyes “it was nobody’s fault but his own, he broke out of his glass containment and chewed on a cord and electrocuted himself to death.”

I was a little less angry but I walked over to see Jin holding his lifeless body in his towel like a mother that lost a child. I walk over to him and put my hand on his shoulder, we didn’t speak but we just leaned on each other in mourning of Zippy. That lizard was like a son to Jin, he was the one that taught Zippy how to shoot a gun and be an agent like us. Diya was understanding and let us have all of homeroom and weapons to make funeral plans for our class pet. We called the support and costume department to make us a lizard sized coffin. Mei on the other side of the phone call cried when we requested the coffin, they were working on a lizard sized vehicle so Zippy could do vehicle training with us during 2nd year. We planned and requested the school auditorium to hold the open casket funeral and burial in the school garden (a neglected part of the school since the conversion from a regular high school to a hero academy). Surprisingly, Nezu approved and we got to work on who to invite and arrangements. The time passed and we got the flyers ready for distribution in time for me to go to the hero class. I made my way to my class sad and puffy faced, it was hard to hide my feelings. I made it 5 minutes early to class and I walked up to the front of the class to announce the funeral.

“May I get everyone’s attention please?” I said trying to hold it together, everyone stopped to listen “Its with a heavy heart that I announce that one of the intelligence program’s own, Special Agent 69, has passed away early this morning.”

“Oh no! what happened?!” asked Uraraka concerned. 

“They got electrocuted to death by their own error, no foul play nor villainous activity.” I explained with tears falling down my face “And our class 1-A would like to invite you to the funeral this Saturday at the school auditorium, 12pm-3pm, refreshments will be provided.”

“We will be there!” exclaimed Iida “it’s such a tragedy that a fellow student got their life cut short so young.”

“Were you close to them?” asked Tokoyami.

“Yes but my buddy Jin was the closest to him” I choked back tears “he treated him like family since they both don’t have a family of their own so to see that he passed this morning was heart breaking” I broke at the last few words and started bawling again. It was hard to focus in class that day but I didn’t want to skip as there wasn’t that many weeks left in the semester. I didn’t wait for anybody to comfort me after class as I was helping my class make the memorial service, flower arrangements and refreshments. Everyone was pulling their weight in making everything happen on time. We got the whole intelligence program to come attend along with some hero classes, general ed and the staff. The night before, I was getting my black dress ready for the next day when I got a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Tokoyami and Iida”

I start sweating as I fear that Iida found out about mine and Tokoyami’s little ‘sessions’. “Come in”

“Hey~are you feeling okay?” coo’d Tokoyami “tomorrow’s the day and Iida-kun and I were talking and wondering if you needed any...comforting.”

I sweat even harder “Comfort me...how?”

“Like have us cook you dinner or go do something you like to do” Iida said chopping slowly at me “you’ve been crying and working so much to arrange this funeral that you haven’t really taken care of yourself.”

“I haven’t seen you smile or eaten properly in days, I’m worried that you’re going to get sick” Tokoyami held my hand “please Ita, let us ease your sadness.”

“That’s very nice of you two but I’ll be alright” I said stretching my back “Everything is in place and I’ll be back to my usual self after this weekend.”

“I have acquired dark chocolates and DDR” said Tokoyami as he pulled out a box of chocolates and Dance Dance Revolution for the game console I have “If you come out and play me, we’ll order pizza.”

A bitch weak for a boy that knows what I like “Oh Toko! it’s like you got me by my weak spots~” I walk toward the boys “you win this time, but I’ll beat both of ya asses at DDR! Hope you got Pizza Hut on speed dial.” 

As we walked out of my room, Iida looks at Tokoyami with suspicion “How did you know that was going to work?”

Tokoyami gets cocky “heh I spend alot of quality time with her” he sets the dance mats up in the commons room “I know a lot more than her inner thoughts, she has very...soft needs and wishes.”

Iida didn’t pick up on his tone “Is that so?” he checked if she was in earshot “then do you know anything about her past? Anything about a boy?”

“Hmmm, nothing about a boy” he stopped to face Iida “all she’s mentioned is that it was pretty dangerous were she attended school and she was a promising number 1 arts student of the district.”

“Yo! Food thief struck again” I said walking in with my cut mango with chamoy, chile and limon “they must like spicy food if they ate my mango in plum sauce and red chili.”

“I was wondering what that was” said Iida “but I didn’t want to be insensitive if it was something that’s in your culture. I know you like oddly spiced sweet things.”

Others came out of their rooms to play and hang out, overall a really nice time that I didn’t need but appreciated it. As I was taking a breather to pet Catptain, Tokoyami was rubbing my shoulders like he usually does when we have our sessions. I didn’t think much of it or who would see but Iida took notice and got envious. He didn’t make a fuss about it until it was curfew for them and we cleaned up to go to our rooms.

“Good night everyone! See y’all tomorrow at the auditorium.”

“Ita, allow me to carry you to bed” said Iida as he picked me up.

“My legs are fine Tenya!”

“You danced a whole lot, let me ease your pain” he carried my to my room, a whole 15 feet away “now lets set you down on your bed, close the door and-”

“What are you doing?” I asked concerned as he closed my door “you’re acting a bit strange.”

“I saw Tokoyami giving you a shoulder rub and thought that you wanted more” he said not doing a good job at hiding that he was jealous “let me just-”

I gently push his hands away “Tenya, did you get jealous?”

“I just want to tend to you like you tended to me”

“I’m fine, really” I said to make him understand “I didn’t want the shoulder rub but I couldn’t move since the cat was on my lap.”

“Oh...I see now” he blushed hard that he misinterpreted the gesture “sorry that I pushed myself onto you again.”

“What you need is a shoulder rub” I levitated him onto my desk chair and pulled it toward me to give him the rub “everyone tells me I give good rub downs and after this, you’ll be sleeping like a baby.”

The mere touch of her hands on his shoulders got him flushed and heart racing. She couldn’t tell but Iida was getting a sort of high off her touch. The way she moved her fingers to soothe his shoulder blades and back of the neck made him give soft moans of approval. She got to the scalp and gave a scalp massage too, it made his head tilt back to see her look back at him. His face read ‘pure bliss’ to her and he got his first taste of intimacy.

“I really enjoyed that” he said still looking at her with his head tilted back “didn’t know I needed something like that.”

“Glad you feel that way” I said putting my hands on his face to cradle it “anytime you want a nice rub down, I got you.”

He left to his room with all the nice and warm tingly feelings from the taste of first love intimacy. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about pursuing her heart he thought as he laid in bed she seems to like my company when we’re behind closed doors or prying eyes. And I feel like a man worth her time when that does happen, perhaps her heart is already in my direction.

-The next day, in the auditorium-

“Ok flowers are all set up!” I yelled from the stage to the audio table “are all the refreshments laid out?”

“Refreshments ready to serve!” yelled Hansai back “do we have the casket ready?”

“Casket arrival in T-minus 5 minutes!” yelled Yuka in response “do we have Zippy ready?”

“Our sweet Prince is ready to be honored” Jin powered through tears to yell back “do we have the music and video ready for viewing?”

“We are ready for viewing!” Mimi bellowed from the tech box “stand by for an audio test.”

“Good job kids!” said Diya walking onto the stage “I’m impressed with all the effort put into honoring your own. Wish everyone was like this.”

“Thanks sensei!” we chanted in unison.

“Its still 20 minutes until people are expected to roll in” I said checking my phone for the time “I’ll go and check on the greeting crew.” I teleported to the front doors to check on our other 2 classmates and Muffin 2.0 and tell them we’re ready to start bringing in people. I start heading back to see how our set up looks, it was like quaint memorial service with cookies. People start coming in right at 12 and they seat themselves.

“Palma-san looks so classy in her dress and veil” Momo whispered to Mina “too bad its an open casket funeral and not a social mixer.”

“I wonder who’s the student that died” said Amajiki to Mirio “Palma-san looked so sad when she gave us the invitation, they sounded close.”

“Is it just me or are funerals supposed to have refreshments?” asked Mirio to the other 2 “seems a little out of place but these mini cupcakes and cucumber water were too tempting not to take.”

“Iida-kun are you crying already?” asked Sato.

“It’s just that it’s so sad that someone so young and in the middle of their training just gone like that! Didn’t even get to finish the year with us.” said a teary eyed Iida.

Once all the staff member got seated and we weren’t expecting anyone else, we closed the doors and got things started.

“Good afternoon fellow students and staff, good to see everyone coming together to celebrate the life of Special Agent 69, or better know in the intel program as Zippy.” I said at the podium to get things started “He was an amazing team player and always boosted morale when things got difficult on the field. Now a moment of silence as we bring in the casket and present the body.” I step away and everyone watched as Muffin 2.0 walked in carrying the small casket followed by Jin. He got the casket and placed it on the presentation table and opened the casket to reveal Zippy the Lizard in his custom jumpsuit. Everyone saw and gasped that it was a lizard and not a student like they assumed. “And now its time for some words from Jin Matsui.”

“Thank you Itati, Zippy was like a son to me. I myself was also alone in this world to fend for myself so when he ran in our classroom on the first day of classes and he ran into my arms, I saw myself in him and decided to give this lizard a home. I shared my meals with him, trained him to do agent things, shared secrets that I only tell my best friends but most importantly, he made me feel like I wasn’t unloveable or incapable of making my own family. He became my family and gave me the strength to keep going.” 

He stepped back to wipe his tears and I took over the podium again “Touching words Jin, and now, a video in memory of Zippy.” The screen lowered as the lights dimmed a bit to show a slide-show like video of our selfies with Zippy, videos of him training with us, shooting his gun, parachuting off the school roof and receiving his license to kill along with some candids Jin took when he’d take him to his room on weekends and holidays. The entire video was to the song I Will Remember You By Sarah McLachlan , there wasn’t a single person that didn’t either cry or look in confusion on how a lizard was trainable enough to shoot a gun.

“I can’t believe this reptilian lead a much more successful year than me!” angrily muttered Bakugo.

“I can’t believe this lizard is getting more love and attention than I ever had” Todoroki whispered to Midoriya “I wish I were in a casket too.”

The video ended with a group picture with all of us at the display ceremony with Zippy in Jin’s arms. The lights dimmed back on and I stepped up to the podium again “We are opening the stage if you would like to pay your respects, if you don’t know what to say, we have an ‘F’ button so you can pay respects without words.” To our surprise, there was quite bit of people lining up to pay respects, everyone else was getting more refreshments to wait out until the burial. 

“Rest in paradise fellow animal comrade” said Nezu going up to the body.

“Hope you look after them up there, rest in paradise little lizard” Midnight said to pay her respects.

Even All Might payed respects “Young lizard! You brought morale and team work to your human companions, great qualities of a hero, rest in power.” 

Aizawa came up with Catptain and just pressed F, the cat also pressed F and it made me fuckin lose it in laughter. We got hundreds of F’s and we announced that we’ll be moving the procession to the school garden for burial. Our class marched with Jin in the front with the casket, we all sang Ain’t No Mountain High Enough on the way to school garden. Diya dug the hole and Mimi placed the tombstone, while they were doing that, Hansai announced the final song.

“And now a live performance from Agent 19, Itati Palma, and Muffin 2.0″

“Palma-san is going to sing again?” people in the audience were muttering as I walked next to the tombstone.

“This was one of his favorite songs” I said as I pointed to the sky “this one’s for you Zippy! My heart will go on!” Muffin 2.0 pulls out a recorder and starts playing My Heart Will Go On while I sang the vocals as they lowered the casket.

“Bye Bye Zip” whispered Jin as he tossed in Zippy’s laser gun “You’ll need this to flex on the other animals and God.” As they refill the hole and the song finishes, Jin takes his 4th swig of his flask and gets bold “ITS NOT FAIR! He didn’t even get to hit that reptilian pussy!”

“Jin stop! You’re hysterical!” I said as Mimi contained him from jumping into the grave. The funeral ends and all the invited guests depart but all of intel 1-A to have one final ritual. We circled around the grave and took out our flasks to pour one out for the homie Zippy. “TO ZIPPY! DICKS OUT!” we chant as we take a sip in honor of him. I walk to the auditorium to help clean up when I see Shinso waiting at the entrance.

“OH hello Shinso”

“Hey, I was hoping to run into you” he started “that was quite a service you guys put together, sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you for your kind words, that lizard will be missed and remembered always.”

“Yea urm, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?”

“I was wondering if you could give me some one on one time.”

I got intrigued, he’s heard of my personal time with 1-B “Gladly! Are you trying to get into the hero A class too?”

“Yea and my quirk isn’t one of the most heavy hitting and I heard that you use your quirk to help unlock new techniques.”

“Its all true, I’m curious to see what you have” I said giving him a once over “how does tomorrow sound? Or if you want to have Sunday to yourself, I can do Monday or Wednesday after school.”

“Monday after school sounds good, thank you for accommodating me into your schedule.”

“No problem! Make sure you meet me in gym 3, dressed out and ready to start at 4pm sharp! I administer tardy punishment if you’re late.”

“Right! See you then.”

I clean up the auditorium and go to the low key kick back at the intel dorms. We just drank beer and cooked some food to just get our minds back to the upcoming internship. We exchanged were we ultimately chose to go for our internship, Mimi was going with a seaside branch and Jin was going to Hokkaido. Talking about it made me excited to go again. Fast forward to Monday after school, I change into my pink track pants and white fire-proof tank top with matching shoes. While I was changing, I was getting curious on what kind of quirk that boy has, was it fire? Something to do with inflation? I keep thinking possibilities as I walk into the gym floor, It was just 5 minutes until it was time.

“I’m here!” panted Shinso as he ran in “I didn’t know we had so many gyms!”

“Oh yea hehe we have like 6 gyms” I recalled but then refocused “you’re on time, lets get started!” I sat down in the middle and pointed to the space in front of me “come, sit and discuss what you want to work into with me.”

“Um ok well” he said as he sat down “I have a sort of manipulative quirk and it’s great as it is but I don’t know where to start to make it better.”

“Manipulative? is it like hypnotism?”

“Yes and No”

“Um, well lets have a spar to see how it affects me and how you work it into your fighting” I levitated up to my feet “take your stance and I’ll count us down.” We take our sides of the marked lines, he takes his stance and it’s a bit strange but it’s fixable “ready? 3,2,1 GO.” As I try to circle and mirror him, I see he doesn’t move but his eyes follow me, like he’s scared of me.

“I don’t like your pants, they’re too pink.”

I yelled back “nobody said you had to like them” for a second I felt my body tense but then I shook it off and kept moving.

“How did that not affect you?!”

“What?!” I said as I looked around to see if he deployed a sneak attack, nothing “what did you do?!”

“I’ve got my quirk activated and you’re answering my answers but you aren’t brainwashed shell of a person” he said like his world is collapsing “what are you?”

I cocked my head to the side in confusion “Your quirk is Brainwash?” I think about it a little and didn’t get it either “ask me another question.”

“Umm ok.... Do you want to grab dinner after this?”

“No thanks, its my turn to cook dinner” I answered and again, slight tension but no mind control “hmmm, why doesn’t it work on me? Or at least, not fully.”

“I don’t understand” Shinso fell to his knees “I’ve spent my whole life having people fear me because of my quirk and how villainous it is BUT HERE YOU ARE un-phased by my abilities like a gust of wind to a brick wall!” he started to cry in frustration “AM I JUST A DELUSIONAL WEAKLING TAKEN PITY BY YOU?!”

“No thats not it at all I-” I couldn’t finish my sentence, I was frozen in place. I saw everything Shinso commanded me to do, he had me crawl and do a cartwheel. I broke out of my controlled state when he held my hand.

“I can’t believe it worked that time!” he looked at my excitedly “what do you think was the thing that made you fully in my control?”

“Think it was fully on truths” I realized and came up with something “quickly, ask me a question.”

“Ok...um, What are you cooking for dinner?”

“Fruit salad and left over pizza” a quick on the fly answer “Ask me that same question now.”

“What are you cooking for dinner?”

“I’m not actually cooking anything for dinner, I just didn’t want to go out tonig-” boom, I figured it out! Shinso squeezed my hand to break me out of his control.

“You lied the last few times?” he asked me like I just killed his pet fish “why would you lie to me?”

I breathed out “Look, it’s not that I lied to hurt you. I lie to hide my feelings, my next move and my past, its like my defense mechanism. When you said you didn’t like my pants, I got a little offended because I think they’re a cute shade of pink and they make my butt look good. When you asked me to dinner, I said that because I didn’t want to go out this week as I have an internship to go to this weekend. And when you degraded yourself because I wasn’t responding to your quirk, I really wanted to reassure you that maybe I was the problem and that you aren’t a pity to me, I want to help you because you asked me and dammit I’m going to work you into the best fighter on the field!”

Shinso was taken back by the gesture “If it doesn’t fully work on some people, then what do we work on?”

“For now” I said getting in fighting position “lets test your close range, dodge my attacks.”

We train for an hour and I arrange another session on Wednesday, same time. I couldn’t shake what Shinso said when he was degrading himself. Poor dude really needs all the help and confidence to take the advancement exam.

-Thursday, in the dorms-

I come back late from my one-on-one time with Monoma and I was not having it.

“Palma-san its nearly dinner time, is everything alright?” asked Jiro, she was in the commons room along with some of the other girls and Aoyama.

“Yea, I’m good but Monoma is really getting on my nerves” I groaned as I put my duffle bag down “like, whats the point of asking me for help if they’re just going to degrade me and not follow my advice!?”

“I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long without refusing your services” said Momo “Why do you still insist on offering to help him anyways?”

“We have the same quirk and I know how hard it is to develop techniques for it” I took off my shoes and sighed “he doesn’t even have mastery in the quirks he has available to him, don’t even get me STARTED on his close range.” I start making my way to my room “I’ll be out soon for dinner.”

“Ok Palma-san, I’ll save you a seat” Uraraka promised and waited until I closed my door to talk to the others “alright so is it just me or is Monoma requesting her help too many time for it just needing help.”

“Kendo-san said that he’s talking about asking her out” Momo recalled “but if Monoma is this irritating to her, I don’t think she would say yes.”

After dinner, I started packing for my 2 week internship. I was asked to pack different changes of clothes for plain clothes and under-cover work, it was a lot to pack and I was wondering just how was high profile was this agency. Everything was ready right on time to go, I had to surrender my earpiece as it can’t reach to the others.

“Welp, have fun and be safe you two” I said to Mimi and Jin “text me when you get to your destination?”

“Yea, I’ll miss you guys” Mimi said as she brought us in for a hug “It’s going to be our first time being separated for a long period of time!”

“Oh shit you right” Jin realized “but this time we’ll be reunited and it’ll be all good.”

Because of how small our program is, not everyone is taking the train to their destinations. Mine is just 4 cities east of the school, so I got picked up by my scouter in a town car. Mimi’s is in Osaka, she had to take the train. Jin got picked up and taken to a private air hanger to get flown to Hokkaido. 

“Miss Palma, you are going to like Best Jeanist” said Jinko jeans man “he’s very excited to meet you.”

“He is?” I questioned “I thought agents aren’t supposed to interact with the head hero of the agency?”

“Well, you see, we have a developing agent squadron. It’s not very big but he interacts with them personally, he’s very picky on who he wants on his team.”

“Oh ok I see now” I turn to the window “I hope I don’t disappoint then.” Another hour in the car and we arrive in a corporate looking building, I didn’t know what I was expecting but I was getting excited.

“Alright here we are Miss Palma, we’re going to get you settled in your quarters then have a full tour as requested by you for quirk purposes.”

“Okay, thank you for considering them!” I said getting my luggage “In America, usually requests like that get ignored.”

“You’ll be happy to hear that we fulfilled all your requests” he leads me into the building “the boss himself made sure of it, he even got you your own quarters”

“Oh? I didn’t request that, I’m fine co-habiting with the others.”

“He did that because we don’t have any other females on the team, out of respect for you and how young you are” he turned to the living quarters “he made a room just for you” he opened a door with the sign that said ‘Agent 19, UA Intel’ “Here’s your quarters, furnished for comfort and a bouquet of lily, lavender and white sage. Get settled and come out to the blue door down the hall for the tour.”

“Alright thank you umm, Mr. Jinko Jeans?”

“Oh?! OH! that was close, I’m Jinko Punky, Best Jeanist’s right hand side-kick.”

“Jinko Punky huh? Alright thank you, I’ll be quick.”

I leave my door open in case of anything and to let others know that I’ve arrived. I hear people walk past my room as I put things away, I can’t see them but they see me. I hear them say things like ‘she’s so tiny?!’ ‘reminds me of my daughter’ ‘boss wouldn’t tell us about her abilities, wonder what she has?’ ‘Boss gave her flowers too! Is she royalty or something?’. I finish and I send a text to the others saying that I got settled. I walked out and see all the others, all men that tower in height to me, all wearing denim something.

“So you’re Agent 19?” said the man in a jean jumpsuit “so small and soft around the edges, like a puppy.”

“What is your name Agent?” asked sternly the man in a jean vest.

“Um, I’m not comfortable giving such information at the moment.”

“Let her be, she’s doesn’t have to tell us anything” defended a man in jorts.

The man in the jean vest walked in front of the only exit, blocking it “She’s not allowed to the leave until she gives us a name!” he turns to me “I don’t trust you one bit agent! I don’t know how you gained the interest of Jinko BUT you are not going to be treated special here!”

Playtime was over, I was going in with my true self “Please sir, I need to report to Jinko Punky for a tour and I do not wish to keep him waiting.”

“Then you better start talking little girl.”

I was going in for the kill, I sighed and levitated him to the side and opened the door “I did ask nicely” I walked to the hallway and turned back to the others “sorry about that y’all! I promise I’m sweeter than this.” I walk down the hall to the blue door, meanwhile the others were murmuring about what I did.

“She’s a telepathic! And so polite” commented the jorts man “I feel like I was in the presence of a unicorn! I can’t wait to see her full power!”

“Shut it! I don’t care what she is” growled jean vest man “don’t get fooled, it could be a ruse to take us down from the inside!”

I get my tour of the place, got aquatinted with the other agents. I told them about my encounter earlier and they said not to worry about him, it happens all the time when an agent comes through to relay information. I feel more welcomed as they invited me to eat at their little area during every meals. I go to bed and see that Mimi and Jin got situated already too, Diya sent a group text letting us know that everyone got situated and all updates about each other will be sent in a daily text from him. It got me in a better state of mind as I drifted to sleep...what could happen in the next 2 weeks?

-End Chapter 17-

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[jenmedsbookreviews]

Hello all. How has your week been? Mine’s been pretty fluffing good, all things considered. A few nice long walks, a second trip to the air museum, a surprise or two by way of the book fairies, exploding cooker (yeah – that wasn’t so much fun) and, best of all, a new member of the family. Meet Aurora, or Rory for short, my new itty bitty kitten who has come to keep Luna company.

Okay … so the picture is a bit blurry, but she’s still dang cute. Luna is slowly getting used to her space being invaded and Rory has already learned how to jump/climb onto the sofa to curl up by my side. She doesn’t do a lot apart from eat sleep and poop now, so a bit like having a baby only a teeny bit more self sufficient and someone else has already potty trained her so – win! So my little family is once more a three. We (I) are (am) very happy.

Why Aurora? Well, as Luna is the Goddess of the Moon, if felt right to give her a majestic name and Aurora is the Goddess of the Dawn. Plus Rory really suits her beautiful tiger stripes. I like it anyway.

Aside from expanding the family, I had my first post-starting-diet weigh in. Lost three pounds so that was nice. Probably helped that I went on a five kilometre walk on Monday and another five mile walk on Wednesday to be fair. Wednesday saw me walking around town and up by the canal. Never expected to be greeted with this sight but there you go …

Yep. Swan butts. They did eventually turn the right way up but it made for a memorable walk. Surpassed myself yesterday though, pushing the walk past the eight mile mark as Mandie and I took a long walk to the supermarket, walking for two and half hours before we took a break and then making the last thirty minute walk back to her house with very achy and groaning limbs. A sure sign we are getting old. If I haven’t lost at least an ounce this week I’ll be miffed.

Fabulous book week this week. First up was a proof copy of Hush Hush by Mel Sherratt which is out later this year. I came complete with a vial of blood and one of water … I’m on the tour and really looking forward to reading it. Tuesday I received the hardback copy of the US cover version of Black Out by Ragnar Jonasson. Rather amazingly, I also won a Twitter competition courtesy of Georgina Moore aka @PublicityBooks to celebrate her reaching 18k followers. Totally unexpected but what a lovely selection it was too. The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin; Love and Trouble by Claire Dederer; The Six Loves of Billy Binns by Richard Lumsden; Grist Mill Road by Christopher J. Yates; The Dark Between Stars by Atticus; Last Ones Left Alive by Sarah Davis-Goff; Take Nothing With You by Patrick Gale; and A Winter Beneath the Stars by Jo Thomas. And as if that wasn’t enough I received another bit of unexpected post – Christmas Cakes & Mistletoe Nights by Carole Matthews.

I am a lucky lady this week no doubt about it.

Three new purchases this week, two of which are pre-orders so don’t count … First up was Graham Smith’s The Darling Dead, his first book with Bookouture. There was also The Forget-Me-Not Flower Shop by Tracy Corbett and The Hermitage by LJ Ross. Really looking forward to that one.

Two e-books ARCs this week, but both for tours so essential reading only. Sue Watson’s Our Little Lies and Angela Marsons’ Fatal Promise. I will admit that once again I abandoned all reading plans to read Angela’s book because, well why wouldn’t you? Sorry other authors. I caught up again, don’t worry.

Books I have read.

Tell Nobody – Patricia Gibney

The boy’s body was so white it was almost transparent. But that’s not what caused the nausea to rise up her throat. He was so young. His body was unmarked, surrounded by a halo of plucked wildflowers.

One hot summer evening, eleven-year-old Mikey Driscoll is on the way home from playing with friends. Two days later, his body is discovered on a bed of wildflowers by some local teenagers.

The case is assigned to Detective Lottie Parker and this time it’s personal. The victim was a close friend of her son, Sean, from the run-down Munbally estate on the other side of town. Sean tells his mother Mikey was behaving normally before he died, but Lottie can’t help but feel that her son is keeping something from her���

Then days later, another boy is found dead, surrounded by wild flowers next to beautiful Ladystown Lake.

On the hunt for a twisted individual with a terrifying calling card, Lottie must uncover the web of secrets within Mikey’s circle of friends. Someone is hiding something but who are they protecting and can Lottie find out before it’s too late? Lottie is desperate to catch the killer before he strikes again because this time her own child could be in terrible danger…

If you love Karin Slaughter, Robert Dugoni and Rachel Abbott, you’ll love the latest heart-stopping thriller from Patricia Gibney. Tell Nobody will keep you guessing until the very last page.

It might just be me, but this book felt a little different to the others in the series. I love the Lottie Parker books and this is another fine example of why Patricia Gibney is such a successful author but it felt a little faster in pace. Perhaps it was just me as I flew through it, and couldn’t wait to see what has happening to Lottie and her team. It’s a very difficult subject as it involves child murder, but it is not gratuitous in any way and it will keep you guessing right to the last. The book is out at the start of October but you can order a copy here.

…

In Her Shadow – Mark Edwards

Isabel’s life seemed perfect. Successful business, beautiful house, adoring husband. And then she was dead.

For four years Jessica has never doubted that her sister Isabel’s death was an accident. But when Jessica’s young daughter seems to know long-forgotten details about her aunt’s past, Jessica can’t shake the feeling that there’s a more sinister truth behind the tragedy.

As Jessica unearths disturbing revelations about her sister, and about the people she loved and trusted most, it becomes clear Isabel’s life was less than perfect and that Jessica’s might also be at risk.

Did someone murder Isabel? Are they now after Jessica and her family? The key seems to lie in the hands of a child. Can Isabel reveal the truth from beyond the grave, or is the answer closer to home?

In Her Shadow is a gripping tale of family secrets, lies and obsession from the two million copy bestselling author Mark Edwards.

Creepy to the last, this book is full of unexpected happenings, high suspicion, tales of ghostly goings on and an accidental death which may not be quite so accidental after all. Fans of Mark Edwards will love it and this is the kind of read which will keep you hooked and desperate to find out what is real and what is not. You can pre-order a copy of the book here.

…

Fatal Promise – Angela Marsons

Eeeny meeny, miney, moe. Who lives, who dies only I know.

When the body of a doctor is discovered brutally murdered in local woodland, Detective Kim Stone is shocked to discover the victim is Gordon Cordell – a man linked to a previous case she worked on involving the death of a young school girl. Gordon has a chequered past, but who would want him dead?

As the investigation gets underway, Gordon’s son is involved in a horrific car crash which leaves him fighting for his life. Kim’s sure this was no accident. 

Then the body of a woman is found dead in suspicious circumstances and Kim makes a disturbing link between the victims and Russells Hall Hospital. The same hospital where Gordon worked.

With Kim and her team still grieving the loss of one of their own, they’re at their weakest and facing one of the most dangerous serial killers they’ve ever encountered. Everything is on the line. Can Kim keep her squad together and find the killer before he claims his next victim?

The killer is picking off his victims at a terrifying pace, and he’s not finished yet. 

From multi-million copy number one bestseller Angela Marsons comes another absolutely nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat crime thriller.

God, this book is going to give me a headache. I honestly do not know how to review without including some spoilers to the last book so I am going to take my time over it and make sure I do it justice. Emotional, at times raw, the tone of this book is completely different to previous books but it needed to be. But it is still full of the tension and hard hitting case that you would expect of Kim and Co. You can preorder a copy of the book here.

…

And that was me. Three books, but in my defence I did have some interviews too so wasn’t just sat around all week. And Rory proved somewhat of a distraction at the weekend too ;). Busy enough week on the blog though – recap below.

The Body on the Shore by Nick Louth

The Way of All Flesh by Ambrose Parry

Overkill by Vanda Symon

After He Died by Michael J Malone

You’ll probably notice a distinct lack of anything much from me this week. Two blog tours planned in but, as it stands, that is it. Real life getting in the way and interviews are a priority as I am sure you can understand. The two tours we do have are for In The Silence by MR Mackenzie and The Night She Died by Jenny Blackhurst.

Have a fab week all.

Jen

Rewind, recap: Weekly round up w/e 09/09/18 Hello all. How has your week been? Mine's been pretty fluffing good, all things considered. A few nice long walks, a second trip to the air museum, a surprise or two by way of the book fairies, exploding cooker (yeah - that wasn't so much fun) and, best of all, a new member of the family.