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thetrashbang · 6 years ago

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PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds Needs A God

No multiplayer game gets to live in a void for long. No matter how hard you may try to bleed yourself of troublesome concepts like context, or backstory, the reality is that people like to speculate. People like to tell stories. Doesn’t matter how goofy or outlandish; the creeping tendrils of narrative eventually wrap around the foundations of even the purest, most context-free experiences. Why are we bombing these crates? Why are we stealing that flag? Why are we fighting? Why are we here?

Somebody will come up with an answer. It’s the human thing to do.

But for PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds, it feels like that answer has yet to come. One hundred players parachute onto a deserted island, where the average density of firearms per square meter exceeds even the most deranged fanatical NRA wet dream, and a slowly constricting hemisphere of crackling blue energy forces them to mercilessly gun each other down until only one is left standing. It’s an absurd, nightmarish premise; a theoretical scenario seemingly engineered to turn people into rabid beasts, fighting tooth and nail merely for the privilege of living a few minutes longer. Who would orchestrate such a competition, and for what purpose? Is it an experiment? A ritual? A blood sport? Is some Silicon Valley bazillionaire sitting in a darkened room somewhere, surrounded by monitors, cranking his sad rubbery hog to every rifle crack and arterial splatter? Nobody seems to know, or care.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t either; PUBG is fun enough without framing. And yet, tonight’s winds bring an uneasy chill, carrying whispers of restlessness, indignance and fury. You feel it, don’t you? There’s a philosophical schism in how we approach Pubguh—the very concept of ‘battle royale’, even—and the hairline fractures are beginning to show. Players whine and gnash their teeth at the red zone, esports organisers desperately attempt to harness the format for views, and the proverbial chicken dinner seems to attain a more and more mythical, trophy-like status by the day; a reference to back-alley gambling now ironically viewed as a badge of ultimate prowess. This isn’t a healthy relationship. This isn’t a healthy attitude.

What Plunkbat needs, friends, is a god.

Well, okay, not necessarily a god god. Divine power is optional. I’m not asking Brendan Greene to start wearing a white toga and chiselling his patch notes into stone tablets, as much as it would set an entertaining precedent. The job requirements are flexible: I’m simply asking for someone vengeful and capricious, with unfathomable intentions, inscrutable thoughts, and—at least within the bounds of the playable space—immense, unassailable power. Like any god, you need not supply scientific proof of their presence; you merely have to attribute sufficient existing phenomena to them, and change people’s collective perception of the world. Ooh, got’em.

See, battle royale games represent an important shift to me. I’m a competitive person by nature. It’s etched into my mind, irreversibly chiseled by years of test scores and parental praise and all the other ego-stroking bullshit that you were subjected to if you were a certain kind of ‘gifted’ child. “You’re the best. You should be the best. You should be winning. Why aren’t you winning, what the heck is wrong with you?” So it bleeds over, into hobbies, work, and of course, online shooters, in which I regularly demonstrate that I have an innate… whatever the opposite of aptitude is. I react slowly, I zone out, I bean myself on the head with my own grenades, and if you exert the slightest bit of pressure, I’ll empty half the magazine into a wall and drop my weapon through a gap in the floorboards. I’m not good, and yet some unreachable, fundamental part of my conscious will never be satisfied with that knowledge.

You would think, then, that Pubby-G would only serve to exacerbate this mindset. And yet, in a world of delicately tuned esports that are built from the ground up to be pure, unfiltered tests of skill, it feels like the only game to grant a genuine absolution of responsibility; a kind of freeing fatalism. There’s a sense in a lot of classic multiplayer experiences—like, say, Counter-Strike—that every outcome is more or less deterministic; a product of a series of controlled variables and actions. With every failure comes the overwhelming impression that it could have been averted, given enough competence, foresight, and concentrated guarana. By contrast, a porridgey cocktail of chaos flows through the veins of battle royales, surrounding you with factors that are not only impossible to influence, but—in many cases—impossible to know at all. You are swept up by the gusts of a hundred butterflies’ wings, tossed to and fro by the whims of the random number generator, bombarded with unavoidable risks and squeezed into unmanageable situations. It’s easier to go with the flow, accept that at any given moment you may have your head unceremoniously taken off—by somebody lying flat on a distant hill, or hiding behind one of the game’s ten thousand trees, or concealed in a shrub on the far side of the Moon—and concentrate on all the minute actions you can make to ever-so-slightly nudge the odds in your favour.

But it’s not always clear that this is the reality of Puhburger. With its vast scale and often languid pacing, encounters can feel like isolated incidents, detached from the cascading series of events that led up to them, despite being anything but. Anyone can parse the map for circles of safety and non-safety, and understand that their arbitrary placement gives certain players an advantage; it’s less apparent that the figure in that upstairs window might have had their sights trained on the area, or seen you first, shot first, picked up a better weapon, obtained a better vantage point, or some other action, because of a dizzying permutation of astral alignments that neither of you could even begin to grasp. So we get futile attempts to establish a level playing field, find meaning in accomplishment, divine fair elements from unfair, and generally make things needlessly stressful for everybody involved. Except the infuriatingly smug yours truly, of course.

How do you make that clear, though? How do you concisely impress upon people that their fate is almost entirely out of their hands, in such a way that they adopt an attitude of acceptance? Blaming the roll of the dice doesn’t come to mind as swiftly when you never see them rattling around, nor the way their innumerable ripples propagate across the map. Furthermore, as current events have taught us all too well, it’s a lot easier to ascribe fault to individuals than to an invisible, fundamentally hostile system. So what do you do?

You give the system a name. And, if you can, a face.

Allow me to momentarily slam us into reverse. When Valve released Left 4 Dead way back in 2008 (oh god, it’s going to be ten years old this year?) they made quite a song and dance about the game’s AI Director; an invisible, unknowable entity that would dynamically dole out items and zombies in a manner consistent with the tenets of dramatic tension, ensuring players were subjected to a “fast-paced, but not overwhelming, Hollywood horror movie”. While the opacity of the AI Director’s machinations always made me a tad sceptical of its mechanical effectiveness, giving people a name to pin the blame for all their earthly woes on was a masterstroke. Notorious video game jokesman Yahtzee Croshaw—the one with the hat and that trendy 00s cynicism, remember?—reported that he once witnessed someone praying to the AI Director, and I bet you all the pipe bombs in the world that players’ personification of it didn’t stop there. Short of making a catastrophic error, I never saw anyone get chewed out for not pulling their weight, and when tones got heated—as they inevitably do, when you’re throwing yourself against the frigid slopes of the higher difficulties—they were directed in the vague direction of the director: for its expectations, for its lack of pity, for being unfair. Awareness of our lurking orchestrator changed our perception of the experience, even though we couldn’t entirely prove it wasn’t just somebody sitting in a black box, disinterestedly flipping a coin over and over.

So, why not do the same for a game that does? Put a face on the system that holds a fundamental grip on who lives and who dies. You don’t need to change a thing under the hood; you need only introduce the vague implication that the evolving state of the battlefield is a consequence of a thinking, feeling, mysterious overseer. A bloodthirsty oligarch watching from their lavish observation zeppelin, a dystopian TV network broadcasting a deadly future sport, an amoral team of government agents sealed away in a bunker control room, an inexplicably sapient Shiba playing with a selection of levers, or indeed, a literal deity. People will take the faintest contextual cues and run amok with them, ascribing everything they can to the will of the one who set this conflict in motion: item drops, circle position, all the way down to the subtle spread of their bullets as they sail through the air. Yeah, maybe it’ll start off as a running joke; an ironic indulgence, the “thanks Obama” of Puddlebounds. But that’s the thing about ironic behaviour: get enough people doing it at once, and you’ll cultivate sincere participants without even realising it. We will learn to absolve ourselves of responsibility, and engage in the unhinged pandemonium of battle royale with the mentality that befits it.

There’s just one problem: you need to be able to keep a secret.

I’m still working on that part.

#pubg #galaxy brain bullshit

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touchmyspinebookreviews · 6 years ago

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Father Figure

Publication Date: April 2, 2018

Genre:

Between the fast-paced New York City, a rural Mississippi town, and a charming Pennsylvania college campus filled with secrets, two young girls learn the consequences of growing up too quickly. Struggling to survive in a claustrophobic, unforgiving world, they embark on a journey to overcome all the pain, disappointment, and horror of their experiences.

Amalia Graeme, abused by her mother for most of her life, longs to escape her desolate hometown, connect with others, and fall in love. Contemplating an impending loss of innocence and conflicting feelings between her boyfriend and the dangerous attraction she’s developed for an older man, Amalia suffers devastating, life-altering tragedies. No matter where she turns, someone or something always steals her hope of finding happiness, protection, and love.

Brianna Porter, a sassy yet angst-ridden teenager raised in New York City, yearns to determine her life’s true purpose, conquer her fear of abandonment, and interpret an intimidating desire for her best friend, Shanelle. All the confusion stems from desperately needing to find the father whom her mother refuses to reveal, but an unexpected discovery of a journal leads Brianna to a shocking revelation about her missing parent. Unfortunately, by casting the net to find him, she’s unleashed a tragic history that was meant to stay buried and might now completely change everyone’s futures.

Through alternating chapters set two decades apart, each girl’s plight unfolds revealing the parallels between their lives and the subsequent collision that is bound to happen. In an emotional story filled with mystery, romance, and suspense, fate intervenes forcing someone to make a dreadful decision that will leave permanent scars.

Add To Goodreads:

Excerpt (Brianna’s Complicated Feelings)

Brianna and Shanelle have been best friends for years, but something more is brewing and Brianna doesn’t know how to handle it. She’s debating whether to sleep with her boyfriend after prom, but finds herself drawn back to a gift.

– James J. Cudney

“What are we gonna do about Doug?” Shanelle grabbed Brianna’s wrist, led her to the bathroom, and situated her on the toilet seat. She opened one of the boxes from the heaviest bag and considered what to do with a few curlers. “He’s gonna push you to sleep with him. Maybe I should show up to protect you. I could taser him if he does anything wrong.” Shanelle rifled through her cosmetics bag pulling out three types of eyeliner. “Choose.”

“Does it matter?”

“If I taser him? Probably not, though that asshole may get turned on. Hell, I might enjoy watching him piss himself from the electric shock.” She freakishly shook her body and feigned surprise after pretending to become incontinent.

“Not Doug, the eyeliner.” Brianna held up the makeup clueless about which color to select. She’d worn very little of her own following in her mother’s footsteps. Less is more is a motto often chanted around their apartment.

“Oh, my lovely little Bree. We’ll make a woman out of you someday.” Shanelle chose the thickest one and applied a generous line around Brianna’s eyes. “I’m jealous of these high cheekbones. They so perfectly shape your face.”

“Umm, thanks.” Brianna, often incapable of accepting praise, glanced at the mirror, then updated Shanelle about the information she discovered on Lenny’s mail in the jazz club. “Maybe I’ve got a new lead, huh?”

“It’s possible. That would be a big help.” Shanelle shrugged her shoulders, then excitedly changed the subject. “Ooh, grab the bag on the floor.”

Brianna tried to reach for it but couldn’t without bending forward. Shanelle’s hand slipped and traced a line of dark black liquid across her cheeks. “Bree, you’re such an awkward mess.”

“Just finish, will you?” Brianna grabbed the bag and shook a small blue box with a white bow. “You bought me something from Tiffany’s?”

“Yeah, even though you don’t deserve it.” Shanelle capped the eyeliner and opened a tray of varying shades of blue eyeshadow. “You need a darker, smokier color to highlight your eyes.”

“You shouldn’t have bought me anything after the way I behaved last night.” Brianna pulled the bow off the box and removed the lid. A pair of diamond teardrop earrings caused her to swoon. “They’re beautiful. You really are amazing.”

Wow, what a read!!! I knew Jay was a hell of a writer but this one really had me up all night and knew how to hit me with all the right feels to continue reading even though I cried like a baby during some scenes. I have to be honest that there is two things that triggered slightly but they were brief things but felt I needed to bring up there is a quick scene where an animal is hurt and their is some abuse that happened to one of the main characters but even though I had a little bit of anxiety for a moment, I still wanted more and I felt more attached to the characters. I became greatly invested in them and I think that the triggers even made me more attached to them because I felt their pain.

I have been through similar experiences with being abused as a child and have experienced other similar things that the characters also experienced. I became attached, the suspense thrilled me, the drama had my heart and mind going through a whirlwind but best of all it also made me smile at times too. I loved Shanelle and Brianna! They were great characters and Mr. Cudney was brilliant at portraying what young girls go through at a time when they are of legal age but still have so much to learn. Shanelle and Brianna’s friendship and the feelings they I had for each other just made me swoon at times. They were just the cutest and I couldn’t get enough of them together. This has to be one of the best books that I have ever read ever! So relatable, so intense, heartbreaking, but a book that is a must read that you definitely don’t want to miss out on! Another thing I want to comment on with concluding is that the way the dual time lines broke down and you have no idea how things all fall into place is brilliant! I can’t wait to see what James Cudney comes out with next!

Big thanks to Reads & Reels & James Cudney for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review and to be able to receive this opportunity.

Available on Amazon and from Creativia

James is my given name; most call me Jay. I grew up on Long Island and currently live in New York City, but I’ve traveled all across the US (and various parts of the world). After college, I spent 15 years working in technology and business operations in the sports, entertainment and media industries. Although I enjoyed my job, I left in 2016 to focus on my passion: telling stories and connecting people through words. My debut novel is ‘Watching Glass Shatter,’ a contemporary fiction family drama with elements of mystery, suspense, humor and romance. To see samples or receive news from my current and upcoming books, please subscribe with your email address at my website: https://jamesjcudney.com

What do I do outside of writing: I’m an avid genealogist (discovered 2K family members going back about 250 years) and cook (I find it so hard to follow a recipe). I love to read; between Goodreads and my blog at https://thisismytruthnow.com, I have over 500 book reviews which will give you a full flavor for my voice and style. On my blog, I started the 365 Daily Challenge, where I post a word each day that has some meaning to me, then converse with everyone about life. There is humor, tears, love, friendship, advice and bloopers. Lots of bloopers where I poke fun at myself all the time. Even my dog has a weekly segment called “Ryder’s Rants” where he complains about me. All these things make up who I am; none of them are very fancy or magnanimous, but they are real and show how I live every day.

A bit of humor: Everything doubles as something else when you live in NYC. For me, it’s the dining room, my favorite space in the apartment, where more than just my cooking is on display! As I look out the windows onto a 12th floor terrace, various parts of nature (trees, bushes, flowers, bugs & animals) inspire me to write. Ryder, my 10-year old shiba inu, usually lays on my feet, growling when I shift positions too many times or when I forget to share my food! Although he’s only 20 pounds, he’s quite strong and pushy. But how else can you pen the best story possible without these things by your side?

Blog | James J. Cudney | Amazon| Twitter

Facebook | Pinterest | Instagram | Goodreads | LinkedIn

R&R Book Tours

Schedule

June 4th

Reads & Reels (Promo) http://www.readsandreels.com

Valerie’s Musings (Review & Interview) http://valeriesmusings76.wordpress.com

Julia’s Picks (Review) http://juliapicks1.wordpress.com

Splashes into Books (Review) http://splashesintobooks.wordpress.com

Bri’s Book Nook (Review) http://brisbooknook.wordpress.com

June 5th

The Scribbling Site (Review) https://thescribblingssite.wordpress.com

Brizzlelass Books (Promo) https://brizzlelassbooks.com/

The Voluptuous Book Diva (Excerpt) http://www.thevoluptuousbookdiva.com/

Jessica Rachow (Review) http://jessicarachow.wordpress.com

The Book Collective (Review) http://thebookcollective.net

June 6th

Kim Knight (Review & Interview) http://kimknightauthor.wordpress.com

Finding Life Through Pain (Review) http://lynnetteok.wordpress.com

Beware of the Reader (Review) http://bewareofthereader.com/

Nesie’s Place (Excerpt) https://nesiesplace.wordpress.com

Run Wright (Review) http://www.runwright.net

June 7th

Audio Killed the Bookmark (Review) http://audiokilledthebookmark.wordpress.com

Jennie Reads (Review) http://jenniereads.wordpress.com

Touch My Spine Book Reviews (Review) https://touchmyspinebookreviews.com

Bobo’s Book Bank (Excerpt) http://bobosbookbank.com

Crystal’s Book World (Review) http://crystalsbookworld.wordpress.com

Dash Fan Book Reviews (Review) https://dashfan81.blogspot.com/

By Hook or By Book (Review) http://cadburypom.WordPress.com

June 8th

Life at 17 (Review) https://lifeat17.wordpress.com

Port Jerricho (Review) http://www.aislynndmerricksson.com

Sinfully Wicked Reviews (Review) https://sinfullywickedbookreviews.com

Globe Flowers Blog (Review) https://globeflower.co.uk

#BlogTour for Father Figure by James J. Cudney Father Figure Publication Date: April 2, 2018 Genre: Between the fast-paced New York City, a rural Mississippi town, and a charming Pennsylvania college campus filled with secrets, two young girls learn the consequences of growing up too quickly.

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shoecartel · 8 years ago

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The 12 best memes of 2015: Runaway llamas, The Dress, Adele …

The internet in 2015 has given us a lot of giggles a vigil to a raccoon, Drake playing tennis and the duck army but which memes construct our cut of the best?

12. What are thooooose!

A police officer. A cheeky dude( Brandon Moore) hollering what are thooose ? at the officers functional, ugly footwear. Millions of loops and views and copycats afterwards, a meme is born. The first urban dictionary entry for the phrase and practice appeared in 2011, but it was 2015 when the sport of pointing at some awful shoes( preferably Crocs) and shouting what are those ?!! entered the mainstream. The best example is the wonderful take on the Jurassic Park theme tune( see below, 50 million Vine loops so far ), which I like because its less mean-spirited than real life instances. In fact, “the mens” who started the whole thing back in the summer seems kind of rude and is now in jail. Um.

11. Duck Army

It stormed collective internet consciousness in early September. Norwegian Kevin Synnes decided to embarrass his girlfriend in a store by pushing down on a bunch of toy ducks which, when pressed, emitted a loud aaarghh ! noise. The video was then appropriated by Vine star Charlie Murphy and subsequently looped millions of days, spawning multiple variants. There has even been a mash-up with the what are those? meme. My person favourite versions are those which pay tribute to Adele and Taylor Swift.

However, a Guardian investigation revealed that that the toy was not a duck, but a pelican. Listen to our interview with Kevin here.

Read more: How the duck army stormed the internet

10. Hello, its me

It took merely a 30 -second snippet of Adeles new single, Hello, debuted during the advert violate of the UK television show, The X Factor, to have the vocalist trending worldwide on Twitter. And while the haunting piano and hushed, smoky tones beloved of millions of fans induced much excitement among those desperate to hear the full song, the clip also inspired plenty of memes.

Hello, its me is a pretty meme-able phrase, and the internet did not disillusion. When the sepia-tinged video dropped, featuring the vocalist in an amazing coat, using a flip-phone and hanging out in an abandoned home, the memes merely multiplied. Especially re: the flip-phone. One girl even texted her ex the entire lyrics to Hello, without him catching on at all.

Read more: Hello, its me. On a flip-phone. Samsung unveils clamshell model

chuck (@ charlubby) October 23, 2015

you know it’s the emotional part of the song when adele doesn’t stop touching her face pic.twitter.com/ dkQvHRmL7 6

9GAG (@ 9GAG) November 8, 2015

#Hello, it’s me. https :// t.co /8 2PU9WzQHG pic.twitter.com/ 1y7xUrARvQ

9. Miley, whats good?

A lot of people characterised this as Nicki Minaj hurling tint at Miley Cyrus, which is a fundamental misunderstanding of the concept of tint. Minaj didnt throw shade she immediately called Cyrus out, in front of a TV audience of millions. If anything, that is the direct opposite of hurling tint.

The incident happened at the MTV Music Video Awards in response to an interview Cyrus gave in which she called Minaj not very polite. While accepting an award Minaj called Cyrus this bitch who had a lot to say about me in the press the other day, before aiming with the perfectly passive aggressive, Miley, whats good? Cue memes. Plenties and lots of memes.

John Liacopulos (@ john_liac_9 7) November 3, 2015

When Miley Cyrus takes you to her favorite eatery that you’ve never been to before and you ask what to order pic.twitter.com/ qoGDlgHmuQ

KK (@ _ColeHeartedX) October 9, 2015

I hate whoever room this is #iup #MileyWhatsGood pic.twitter.com/ Peh3f 3Yq4b

8. Confounded Nick Young

Nick Young is a basketball player who shoots for the LA Lakers. His internet fame, however, is courtesy of a confused reaction face meme. At one point during a day-in-life-of documentary, Thru The Lens, positioned on YouTube, Young pulls a huh? face when his mother calls him a buffoon. His quizzical expression towards the camera has spawned likely the best reaction macro of 2015 and can be used for disbelief, astonish or a thousand other reactions.

Photograph: Instagram /@ Daquan

7. Why you always lyin?

The 21 -year-old college student Nicholas Fraser became an internet sensation when he decided to perform, in his yard, perched on a lavatory, as one does, a quick cover-up of Nexts Too Close, but with the lyrics changed to why the fuck you lyin?/ why you always lyin ?) Given that people lie all of the time , and we know about it, guys , and we all want people to know that we know, Frasers vine caught on and inspired multiple cover versions of his cover version. Now, when your mate texts to tell she is five minutes away but you know she likely hasnt left the house yet, theres a perfect means of responding. Thanks Nicholas.

Read more: When “theyre saying” Nicholas Frasers vine isnt the best use of 2015: why you always lyin ?

6. Fifty Shades of Grey

After the Fifty Shades of Grey series of volumes sold so poorly , it was a punt for Universal Pictures to have taken on a film adaptation. But oh, brave souls it was brought to the screen in summer 2015 with Sam Taylor-Johnson at the helm and Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson starring. Given that the book had already resulted in a lot of culture cache, it was inevitable that the film would inspire memes and gags. The internet delivered. In particular, the my savors are very singular line( altered to my passions are unconventional for the internet) demonstrated a rich seam.

The Beast (@ KrystalSim) February 9, 2015

pic.twitter.com/ m5Tpb21XRf

Photograph: BuzzFeed

5. Hotline Bling

One of the best ways of 2015, the video for Drakes Hotline Bling didnt drop-off until October three months after the ballads release. But it was worth the wait. A minimalist clip, Drake proves off his unusual dance moves against different coloured backdrops inspired by artist James Turell. The rappers moves and pained impression inspired multiple parodies shared on YouTube, Vine and Twitter.

Included below are some of the best: a dancing and adorable shiba inu( aka Doge ), the Man From Another Place from Twin Peaks and perhaps best of all, some tennis backhand action.

Chai Goth (@ Abid_ism) October 20, 2015

The hotline is filled with secrets pic.twitter.com/ 5zS0WZhGCG

4. The Dress

The most viral of viral phenomenons. A young lady took a picture of a dress in a clothes store and uploaded it to Tumblr. Why is this interesting? As the internet was genuinely divided as to whether the dress was blue and black, or white and gold.

The original Tumblr post pose the question racked up an enormous 73m page positions, and a BuzzFeed piece on the dress has more than 38m page positions to date. #TheDress trended for days on social media. Scientists were carried in to explain how people could be seeing different colourings. Rods and cones were mentioned. British current affairs programme Newsnight even offered its own election. The Guardian waded in, with the definitive take.

michael (@ 1975 NIGHTMARE) February 27, 2015

when you don’t know the color of the dress pic.twitter.com/ sQI7YLnjk 1

BBC Newsnight (@ BBCNewsnight) February 27, 2015

A live on screen vote on tonight’s Newsnight – what colour is #thedress? Get out your phone and going to see http :// t.co/ dRffVZfw0P at 10:30 pm

3. Poot Lovato

I dont guess Ive ever chuckled so hard as when I detected the Poot Lovato meme. A Tumblr post featuring an awkward fan photo of vocalist Demi Lovato posited the hypothesi that the snap was not of Demi herself, but her secret twin sister, Poot Lovato, who had been trapped in a cellar her entire life. The fable took hold and soon the internet was ablaze with hilarious and creative Poot memes. Fan-fiction was written, fan art draw, Instagram and Twitter accounts were established and even Demi herself addressed the gag( she wasnt amused ). Then, instead, brilliantly, a sleuth excavate out a paparazzi photo of Demi-as-Poot right at the moment the fan pic was taken. Its still funny.

Read more: Poot Lovato: has the internet detected Demis secret sister ?

A selection of the best Poot Lovato memes. Photograph: Guardian composite

2. Llamas on the run

On THE SAME DAY AS THE DRESS, the internet explosion with one of the great police chases of our time two llamas on the run. The llamas, one black and one white, ran loose in Sun City, Arizona. The whole internet followed, glued to the ABC1 5 live river of the runaway animals and tracking updates on Twitter. The llamas, true heroes of freedom and an inspiration to all, had escaped from their day job in an animal therapy centre. The black llama was caught first, its emancipation ended with a cruel lassoing. The white llama ran on, but eventually, it too was caught. Still, these two were the internets favourite llamas since Serge, the French llama who travelled by subway.

HannahJane Parkinson (@ ladyhaja) February 26, 2015

NOOOO. BLACK LLAMA CAUGHT. STAY STRONG WHITE LLAMA.

Matthew Baldwin (@ matthewbaldwin) February 26, 2015

LLAMA 1: We’re escaping this afternoon. LLAMA 2: Alpaca bag.

1. Dead Raccoon

My personal win for meme of 2015 is the dead raccoon, an unfortunate soul, detected deceased on a Toronto street. After a human tweeted the relevant city authorities to tell them about the raccoon, the poor critter was left for hours in the same place. Over the next 12 hours, a vigil was set up for the raccoon, documented online. A note was left, a framed photo , notes were written. Someone gave the raccoon an unlit joint as a mark of respect. It get dark. Candles were illuminated. The raccoon was named Conrad. Eventually, the authorities turned up and unceremoniously dumped Conrad in a rubbish truck. Such a lack of respect.

Raccoon update: he’s still there. Someone has written him a card .

A photo posted by Emily Taylor (@ emilyjs5) on Jul 9, 2015 at 9:14 am PDT

Shauna Pollock (@ misspollock) July 9, 2015

Don’t quite know what to say about this sidewalk discovery except that it really brought ppl together. #deadraccoonto pic.twitter.com/ BJ7efipLvq

Norm Kelly (@ norm) July 10, 2015

The sidewalk memorial is growing, @311Toronto. H/ T @jasonwagar. #DeadRaccoonTO pic.twitter.com/ 3vTUf9xB7b

Kris Pangilinan (@ KrisReports) July 10, 2015

10: 46 pm #DeadRacoonTO is still here. pic.twitter.com/ D9JbEuxJol