#^^^ i say like i havent knowns this for a long time in my life Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[luvyeni]

SAY CHEESE ,, 나재민

pairings ‎⸝⸝⸝ model!jaemin x fem!reader wc. 2.5k+

genre. smut

𓄷 includes ... fingering, unprotected sex, corruption kink, praise kink

「 authors note 𖹭 」 i needed a soft one , been doing cheating and yandere fics all week.

❪ masterlist! ❫

“i don't know chaewon,” you hear your roommate's footsteps padding behind you as you make your way into your bedroom— she was right on your hip as tried to close the door, pushing it open as you sat on your bed. “this is your assignment, and i don't feel comfortable doing it for you.”

your roommate whines sitting down on your bed as well. “please yn, i can't miss this internship it will be career changing, and you're the only person i know who can take photos as well as i do, maybe even better , and i know you wont try and fuck him cause you havent fucked anyone in your life.” she said, you scoffed. “why can't you text the guy and tell him you have another shoot?” you asked. “because this model is already hard to get and if i don't get this shoot im gonna fail my class.” she explained. “you passed this class last semester so you understand how much of a hard ass this teacher is.” she said.

“please yn,” she begged, “i will buy groceries for next month if you do this for me,” you thought about it, it was a good deal. “fine.” your friend smiled, clapping in excitement. “thank you, thank you so much.” she said hugging you. “okay, okay let me go.” you pulled away. “it's a two day shoot, he has his own hair and makeup team so all you have to do is show up and take pretty pictures of the pretty man.” she said. “who is this mysterious model who is so hard to get?”

“na jaemin.” she said, you knew the name; he was new to the modeling scene, but he was quickly growing, establishing himself in the cut throat industry. “how’d you manage to get him, i thought he was like london for a fashion show?” you asked. “what business does he have with a mediocre college student photoshoot?” your best friend scoffed. “ignoring the mediocre part, you know donghyuck?” you nodded, he had a crush on your roommate and was very open about it. “well he apparently knows jaemin, and he set this up for me , in exchange for a date.” you nodded. “using your assets, good for you.”

“yeah, and i didn't know this would be the only days he'd be free, and i didn't catch it until i checked my schedule.” she said standing up. “i'll text him and let him know, thank you so much.” you nodded. “Whatever, don't complain next month when it's time to shop for food.” she smiled sheepishly. “i won't promise.” she said. “now get out, i have to work on this essay that's due in like 4 hours.”

the next day was the day of the shoot, luckily you didn't have class so it wasn't a big inconvenience— the night before you made sure all your cameras were charged and working properly, thankfully they were and you were ready to go. “here's the address, you might want to get there earlier than he does so you can be ready , he's pretty busy and we don't know how long he has on his schedule.” your friend came back into your room , to which you agreed.

you got to the destination of the shoot a few hours before the shoot, cleaning up the place a bit; setting up the background and decorations. you brought a few snacks and drinks for him and his staff, also setting those out for the taking. you sent your roommate a quick message wishing her good luck with her internship, the door to the place opening. “hello?”

you looked up from your phone; he came in smiling, his team following behind him , he had this aura to him, he definitely was a model, he was attractive— very attractive, it made you kind of speechless. “h-hi.” you said, letting them come in. “you guys can set up over there.”

you finished up your texting, deciding to make yourself known for real. “hi im yn.” you watched him lift his eyebrow in confusion. “yn?” he asked. “what happened to chaewon? hyuck told me this was for her class.” chaewon didn't text him— you were gonna kill her. “it is, she had a internship today and she couldn't miss it, she also couldn't miss this shoot because then she'd fail this class and she didn't want to do that so she sent me.” jaemin watched you nervously fiddle with your finger as you explained yourself, smiling to himself. “is that okay? i can show you some of my work if it makes you comfortable.”

“no baby doll don't worry,” his words made you freeze up. “hyuck said chaewon was nice girl, so im sure she surrounds herself with other nice girls.” his eyes scanned up your body, making your cheeks heat up as he made eye contact with yours. “you seem like a nice girl.” you nodded, still flustered. “o-okay, i'm gonna go finish setting up, you guys can finish getting him ready, i brought snacks in case any of you get hungry they're over there so.” you quickly ran over to your camera. “she's cute.” his stylist said. “so adorable.” his makeup artist said, he smiled, pulling out his phone.

jaemin. your girl didn't show up, her roommate did.

hyuck. ik she text me , and told me, yn is a good girl though, she's also a photographer.

jaemin. single?

hyuck. definitely, she doesn't even come out much. why you like?

jaemin. very much.

hyuck. go for it then 😉

he watched you adjust the camera, muttering something to yourself, his stylist handed him his outfit to get changed into, he took the clothes into his hand, making his way over to you. he stood behind you, waiting for you to take notice of him. “we can get started when—” you turned around to where the boy was already standing there, extremely close, close enough where you could smell his cologne. “I have to change into my clothes.” he said. “chaewon gave me a dress code.” you nodded. “of course she did.” you looked around the studio. “there's no bathrooms in here , and i don't have the key to the one outside.”

“don't stress baby doll,” there was that nickname again, “i’ve had to change in public before, nothing knew.” he walked away leaving you confused, until you seen his arms lifting up and off his shirt went; your hands coming up to cover your eyes. “you-you're gonna get dressed here.” he laughed at you. “it's not like there's anywhere else,” he said, tilting his head to the side. “you act like you've never seen a naked man before.” you hadn't , but he didn't know that. “ju-just quickly get changed.” you fanned your heated face , he smiled.

jaemin knew you probably hadn't, he just wanted to see your reaction and he was thoroughly amused at what he was seeing. “get dressed and leave the poor girl alone.” his stylist said, slapping the back of his head. he finished changing his clothes, just as you were turning around. “great we can finally get started.”

the shoot went good, you took a bunch; a few you knew chaewon would like and a few you liked, you probably took over 100 photos of the boy; not that you were complaining, you got to stare at this gorgeous man and not look like a weirdo. “how do they look?” jaemin asked. “would you like to see?” he nodded, coming behind the camera; you showed him your laptop screen. “see?”

“you're really talented?” he watched you try and hide a smile at his praise. “you can smile baby doll, it was a compliment,” he said. “th-thank you.” you said with your head down. “which ones do you like?” he asked. “huh?” you said confused. “oh-oh well this is chaewons project so i just did what I know she likes.” he hummed, “yeah i know it's chaewons, but if it was your project, what would you choose?” you didn't realize how close he was until you could feel his breathing on your neck.

“um.” you clicked through the photos. “th-these three.” you pointed out. “oh someone likes my upper body i see?” he laughed as you turned around wide eyed, stuttering out an explanation. “don't worry i don't mind it all, i got into this business to be stared at and admired by pretty and sweet girls like you.” he said. “tell chaewon she should use these, her roommate has good taste.”

the rest of the shoot went by in a blur, soon you were cleaning up and jaemin was changing back into his comfortable clothes. “we'll go get the car ready.” he nodded, his small staff leaving the studio, leaving you and him alone; just what he wanted, he watched you talk on the phone. “i should be home soon, don't worry, yeah , no i'm not saying it, fine i love you too, bye.” you hung up. “boyfriend?” he asked, knowing the answer already. “oh no, that was chaewon.” you chuckled.

“so a pretty little thing like you don't have a boyfriend?” you shyly nodded, “like ever?” you were embarrassed. “no it's okay baby doll i'm just a bit shocked.” he said. “it's you're so pretty, I never would have imagined you were single.” he said , coming closer making you nervously turn around , but you could still get hear him getting closer until he was caging you against the table. “ja-jaemin.”

“come on pretty, let me make you feel good.” he pressed up against you. “turn around for me.” he whispered in your ear, smiling when obediently did. “good girl, you listen well.” you eyes were wide. “your staff.” he smirked. “trust, they know, don't worry about that.” his hand came up to your thigh, making its way up your skirt. “i-i’ve never done this before.” you felt his hand close to your clothed cunt. “i know pretty just relax.” you felt his hand on your mound, making you close your legs around his arms. “no.” he smiled. “you gotta keep them open if you want me to make you feel good.”

you slowly opened your legs allowing him to move again. “good girl.” he thumbed on your clit, you let out a whimper, biting your lip to cover it up. “let me hear all those pretty noises.” he pulled your panties to the side. “i'm gonna put a finger inside you, okay?” you nodded, his slowly ran his finger up your slit, before pushing his finger in. “ja-jaemin.” you moaned. “feel good?” he moved his finger in and out. “you're so wet, this pretty pussy never been played with, you're dripping all over my hand.”

you were a mess, your face was so fucked out from one finger it made him hard as a rock. “m’gonna add another one okay?” you nodded, he lifted your leg higher holding it as he added another finger. “good girl , taking two of my fingers.” he praised, you really like that, your cunt tightening around his digits. “you liked that? me praising you?” you nodded. “answer me baby doll , you like when i praise you?”

“y-yes i do.” you felt a sensation bubbling in your stomach. “ja-jaemin i feel.” you couldn't stop it from coming, your legs closing around his hand once again, as your orgasm washed over you.

jaemins eyes lit up light a child's on christmas morning as he watched you orgasm, your juices covering his finger. “there you go, cumming all over my hand.” he cursed, feeling his cock begging to be freed from his sweats. “good girl, let it all for me, fuck im so hard right now” he groaned, pressing his lip to the side of your head. “you want me to fuck you? stretch your little pussy out?”

you moaned, nodding. “pl-please.” you weren't really waiting for “the perfect guy” but right about now, you were really worked up and the way you could feel jaemins grinding his clothed cock against you— he was the perfect guy.

he lifted you on to the counter. “sh-shit.” he pulled his pants down enough to pull his cock out, hissing, the air hitting his leaky tip. “so fucking hard for you doll, ready for me?” you bit your lip as he lined his cock up to your entrance. “fuck.” he groaned as he slowly worked himself inside you. “jaemin.” you moaned, he held your hips down. “fuck don't move baby, let me do it.” he fully seethed himself inside you. “fuck, you're so tight.”

he slowly moved; your cunt barely letting him out, he was in heaven— and so were you, hold his bicep , your head thrown back as he fucked you, you never felt this sensation before, but you loved it. “please, faster.” you moaned , he smirked, speeding up. “you want more?” he groaned, his hips now slapping against yours with much force. “fuck baby doll i'll give you more.”

you could feel the counter below you shaking as he fucked into you vigorously. “that's it, take nana fat cock inside you.” he groaned, slowly losing himself. “fuck you're little pussy is so good.” he cursed. “fuck i'm gonna cum.” he moaned. “you going cum for me?” he toyed with your clit. “be a good girl and cum for me.”

and with his words and him fucking into you deeply, kissing your cervix you soon cumming hard, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your cunt tightened around him, his cursed as he came inside you. “oh fuck yn.” he sighed, his head dropping as he came, you could feel him every inch of him twitching inside you you as he covered your inside in white. “oh fuck.”

he slowly pulled out, smirking as you whimpered. “so sensitive baby.” he said, his cum leaking from your hole. “that felt good baby.” he kissed your neck. “so good if my staff weren't waiting for me, i would stuff my cock back into your pretty pussy.” smiling as you whined. “there's always tomorrow.” he said, pulling away, finally letting you get dressed.

“will you be back tomorrow?” he asked. “yeah, chaewon has another day at her internship.” he helped you pack up all your cameras. “good.” he handed you the bag. “i’ll come without my staff,” you yelped as he pulled you close. “why?”

“because after you take all the pictures you need , i don't need any distractions when i teach you to take my cock in that pretty mouth.”

©LUVYENI

[guitarstringed-scars]

chat is this real?- wow our fans are so talented!

masterlist

latest video: we fell in love on total drama roblox

itsyn is live: holding a talent show w/ atsumu! otherwise known as judging our fans.

welcome to the chat room!

ynnumberonefan: this is going so poorly

catlovermeow: tell kuroo to make a twitch!

juju23: y/n please why does no one have talent

“okay atsumu, next up from our fan talents is mia, she will be doing a peter griffin impression!!!” you say, laughing slightly into the mic. ”what? does that even count as a talent?” you hears atsumus concerned voice on the other end of the call.

“i guess we’ll be the judges of that!” you switch the viewer into the voice call.

“hi mia! we are so ready to hear your peter griffin impression.” as you speak, you adjusts the clip-on tie on her shirt. the outfit you picked out for this stream is a tuxedo t-shirt, paired with the aforementioned clip on tie, along with a top hat. you’ve been calling it business casual.

“oh my god this is so crazy, hi! such a big fan.” the new fan in the call speaks. you’ve heard this speech plenty of times now, being an hour into the stream. atsumu and you thought it would be funny to have fans show off their talents, but you didn’t really think hard enough about the whole fan part.

“so nice to meet you mia! alright, lets hear your talent.” you say.

the girl goes into an atrocious peter griffin impression, and as it continues for a moment to long, atsumu quickly cuts her off.

“that was amazing! thanks!” he quickly removes her from the call, bursting out laughing. ”that was top ten for sure, for sure!” you laughs, slight tears forming in your eyes.

as you laughs, you take a quick glance at your phone sitting by her mouse.

the screen lights up, a message from kuroo.

”alright, next talent is singing from K?” you say, laughing slightly, adding kuroo into the call.

“hi!!!!!” he says with a high pitched shaky voice.

“holy shit.” atsumu says, giggling a bit.

“why are you laughing???” kuroo asks, genuine concern in his voice. this gets you, and soon you are laughing too.

“w-what is your talent, um, k?” you choke out between giggles.

“singing!” his high pitched voice is full of joy, and you glance at the chat.

pinkywinky48: hello what is happening?????

user562: oh hellllllllll nahhahhahhahah

imdbbear: this is bad and they havent even started singing yet…..

kuroo quickly goes into his song, horribly out of tune and pitchy. you and atsumu lose it completely, and you can hear kuroos voice cracking as he tries to hold himself together.

“the end!” he says, finally finished.

“oh wow. with a voice like that i’m sure you have a beautiful face to match it! can you turn on face cam??” you ask, leaning into the webcam closer.

kuroo quickly switches the web cam on, revealing his face smiling at the camera.

“bro what the hell?” atsumu says, surprised by the reveal. this makes kuroo laugh harder.

tinytimp: KUROO

didimcgee: KUROO IS BACK OMG

ynfan22: my otp and atsumu HAHAHA

imbdbear: oh he ate down

“ok bye guys stream over, kuroo wins.” you say, quickly ending the stream, but not the call. ”oh thank god i could not listen to another fan try and sing for real.” atsumu says.

“i thought it would be a good idea but none of them were good.” you say, rubbing your eyes.

“i was good though right?” kuroo asks, laughing a bit.

“most entertaining thats for sure.” you say.

“nonono, peter griffin impression was better.” atsumu chimes in.

“ohhhh yeah you right.”

“ugh i gotta go to practice.” atsumu groans.

“just quit volleyball.” you say.

“no. ball is life!” he cheerfully leaves the call, leaving you and kuroo alone.

“so, you broke onto kenmas pc again?” you ask.

“nah, i asked this time.” kuroo laughs.

“and he let you???”

“surprisingly. i’m thinking i might get one of my own. i’m considering pursuing a career in dress to impress.” he jokes.

“wait whats your ranking?” you ask.

“i’m only a rising star but i have like 150 stars.” he says.

“you are such a flop oh my god, lets play right now, i’ll cook you.”

“big talk for someone wearing a tuxedo t-shirt.”

“it’s business casual, big guy. you just don’t get fashion like i do.”

“uh huh. i’ll smoke you lets go.” he taunts.

you quickly log onto roblox, joining the game.

after an hour and a half, you’ve beat kuroo 97% of the time.

“jeez, its already 9:30.” he says from his position on the podium (3rd place).

“past your bedtime?” you joke.

“nah, past the time i should’ve probably left kenmas room though. i’m gonna log off.”

“alright.” you say.

“i’ll text you though.” he smiles at the webcam.

"sounds good. night kuroo.” you smile back.

"goodnight y/n.”

𖦹₊⊹fun facts⊹₊𖦹

-kuroo has gained lots and lots of followers since his first appearance

-he's still adjusting to his newfound fame, but he enjoys the attention

-and the new friends

taglist: @mollyrolls @ncitygreen @giocriedpower @whorefornoodles @she-lovesmyheartshapedsunglasses

@altyx @zumicho @wyrcan @causenessus @s1ckntw1st3d

@acowboykisser @whenanafallsinlove @aurelia1011 @solaqes @atsumuenthusiast

@mysteriousballer1na @wizardhore @nyasstars @miiyas @secretsunsetsociety

@urmmomisgay @rivuvi @csbnova @peqch3rry @jaynawayna @beepbeepyddgjj

@certaindreampost @just-coreee @stargirllost @kodzu-ken @tojirin

@kuroomikasavolleyball @hunnies4bunnies @viscoolreal @spicana @tsukistopglazer

@lyqiche @mfcherry @lifesucksweswallow @gsyche @etherialtears

@haikyuusunsalad @moucheslove @savemebrazilhinata @itsdragonius @keelsforreals

@akaakeis

[sleepsunawareof]

Well like many, the Loki S2 finale has me still reeling and I have had this little drabble on my brain and had to get it out. I am not really a writer, I've not written a fic since I was a teenager probably lol so be easy on me but alas, I hope this is enjoyed by those who also just couldn't bear the thought of Loki being alone at the end of time forever.

Description: Loki uses his time slipping abilities to talk to you one last time before making the decision he knows he has to in order to save those he loves. But, you aren't so willing to let him condemn himself to an eternity alone, or yourself to a lifetime without him.

Word Count: 1367

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN LOKI S2 EP6!! Angst, sadness, happy ending mostly

••••••••••••••

"How are you doing this?", you asked as you watched strands of space and time float around you and Loki throughout A.D Doug's workshop.

"We're outside of time. Darling, I had to see you. I had to speak to you." Loki said, a sorrowful look on his face that you had never seen before. "The Loom, it was a failsafe all along. And no amount of scaling can account for infinite timelines. I thought we had it, I really did", he explained.

"Damnit, we should have known it would be...", you lamented.

"I spent centuries trying to figure it out, and it was all for nothing."

"Centuries?" you questioned.

"It's hard to explain" he responded. "Darling, there are only two options. Go back and kill Sylvie before she kills He Who Remains and allow the Sacred Timeline to continue--"

You cut him off. "You can't Loki! The Sacred Timeline is full of misery, injustice, and sadness - what the TVA stood for under He Who Remains was all wrong! We can't go back to that. And you know you could never kill Sylvie...not after everything we have all been through together."

"I know...", he said, a sad knowing in his voice and his eyes. "But there is one other way."

"And what's that?"

"Me".

"What? You? I don't understand Loki..." you said cautiously.

"The finite power of a machine can never handle the infinite timelines of a multiverse, but the infinite power of a God can", he said as he watched your face intently for any hint of reaction.

It took a moment as you stared at him, blinking. "Do you mean..." you questioned, as the realization of what he was saying started to set in.

"Yes, my love. Believe me, if there was any other way, I swear I would take it. But there isn't. I know what kind of God I need to be, for you, for all of us. It's the only way."

"Loki, if this is what you have to do, then please, take me with you at least!" you implored.

"My darling y/n, you know I can not do that. I must bear this burden alone, and you must go live your life on the timeline, the one you deserve to have. I could never condemn you to an eternity of solitude at the End of Time", he said sorrowfully.

"But you'll condemn me to a life of solitude on Earth? Loki, I can't live without you. There's no life for me down there if it's not with you! Please, as long as our friends are happy, and I'm with you, that's all I'll need. Please let me go with you!". The last part came out as a sob as your emotions got the best of you. You couldn't believe what he was talking about doing, the sacrifice he planned to make for the ones he loved.

"When I go back there, to that moment in time, you won't remember any of this. You won't know you said you wanted to go with me," he reminded you.

"Loki, every version of me across space and time would go with you. Even into the abyss, if that's where you have to go. I will follow you, I know I will!" you fully sobbed out as you threw your arms around him. The thought of him leaving you was killing you.

"They'll stop you if you try to follow me, you know that" he said, speaking of your friends back at the TVA.

"Then tell them not to Loki! Please, I'm begging. My place is beside you, always and forever, no matter where that place is."

And then Loki was gone and everything turned to spaghetti.

••••••••••••••

Loki slipped effortlessly back to just the right moment in the Loom control room, having been here in this moment over and over for centuries. This time though, it was different. This time, it was the last time. Loki looked over at you and his friends with a sad and knowing smile on his face. And then with one last look, he turned and ran down the stairs towards the blast doors. He knew he could keep you from following, lock the doors behind him with impenetrable magic. But he also knew that in your heart, you would never want to be without him. You would resent him forever if he left you on Earth alone.

You, Sylvie, and Mobius ran down the stairs after him immediately, but he was already through the airlock doors. The three of you watched Loki open the blast doors with his magic and start to step outside, absent of any protective suit. As you reached out to open the airlock door and go after him, Mobius pulled you back.

"Mobius, I have to go! I have to get to him!!!" you screamed.

"You can't! The temporal radiation will kill you if you open that door and go out there, you know that!"

"But it's going to kill HIM!" you cried out as you watched Loki walk out onto the walkway.

But something amazing started to happen. As the temporal energy shredded his TVA clothes away with every passing second, something else began to take it's place. Flowing dark green linen draped his form, traditional and humble shoes appeared on his feet, and a horned crown adorned his head. He looked absolutely Godlike and regal. As Loki walked closer to the Loom - this imperfect piece of machinery that took so much from so many - he lifted his hands, called upon his magic, and destroyed it in a flash of bright green and white light.

Then, there was darkness. Loki wasn't done, though. He reached out to grab a strand of time and suddenly it glowed back to life, his beautiful green magic allowing it to thrive. He grabbed another, and another. You, Mobius, and Sylvie stood silently in the airlock, watching as Loki brought the timelines back to life, one by one, gathering them in his hands. Above him, a chasm opened in the sky, revealing the End of Time. Loki looked back one last time at the 3 of you back in the airlock. He had no idea if you would really come after him like you said - but he wanted to see your face one last time if it was truly to be the last. Your eyes locked, and you knew now that the temporal energy was gone, there was no threat if you left the airlock.

"I have to go with him." you said to Mobius and Sylvie. "His worst fear is to be alone, and he is going to condemn himself to a lifetime of loneliness to save us all!" you said as you opened the door.

"Y/n, please! Stop! You don't know what you're giving yourself to." This time, it was Sylvie who pulled you back, holding your arm so you couldn't run down the walkway.

"Yes, I do. I'm giving myself to love. I'm giving myself to free will, to choice, to hope." you said.

"Sylvie, let her go," Loki called out. "It's going to be okay." he assured.

Sylvie let go of you hesitantly, and you started your walk out to Loki. When you reached him, he could not take your hand, but you took his arm. Together, you began to ascend the invisible stairs to the End of Time as he held the reanimated timelines in his hands. As you both crossed the threshold of the chasm to the End of Time, He Who Remains' throne and the ruins of his citadel came into view. Loki walked forward to the throne, the one he never wanted but was always destined to have. The timelines took on the beautiful form of a tree - Yggdrasil, the tree of life - the tree of the multiverse that Loki would tend to for eternity.

"This is where I'll have to stay forever, darling. I can never leave, never move. Tending to the timelines is my glorious purpose, my eternal burden. Are you truly willing to stay here with me?" he inquired.

"Yes, my love", you answered without hesitation.

"For all time?" He asked.

"Always".

[ratsonastick]

could you do jock!clarisse x nerd!(fem)reader and like clarisse bullies reader but then they somehow like each other at the end! idk if this makes sense but i loved your other fics of clarisse! tyyy xxx

Jock!Clarisse La Rue x NerdFem!Reader

AN - Hey! Sorry, this took me so long to answer I didn't notice I had a request!!

I also don't know If you want this as a modern HC or camp .... so we are gonna do Modern and kinda mix it up! xoxo - Emma

˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆𖦹˖°𓇼⋆

Clarisse was someone everyone knew about, she was the star on the field for the hammer throw (Which for those who dont know is when you throw a heavy ball in the air and you try to make it go a far distance … requires a LOT of upper arm muscles) 

Everyone admired her, but you? You hate her. She always had something to say, especially ever since the day that you said no to givng her the homework answers. 

Ever since that day she always picked on you, saying something that made you roll your eyes and tell her to get lost. 

If you havent figured it out yet the reason why this all started was because she thought you were smart … everyone does, and thats why she had asked you for the answers. She though you would have said yes, an easy target, but she was mistaken when she realized how stubborn you are.

“What is the answer to this.” You heard a voice ask, disturbing your peaceful evening in the library. “When will you ever stop.” You mumbled, not even having to look up to realize it was Clarisse. 

“Once you give me the answers” She answered with a roll to her eyes as if you should have already known the answer. 

You stood up grabbing your book but before you fully stepped away from the table you grabbed your notebook before she could grab it which made her sigh. Getting up she followed you as you walked down the dark isles of books, dim lights following the two of you. 

“Don't you have practice to get to?” you asked softly stopping abruptly which caused her to almost crash into you, “stalking me Y/n? How do you know I got practice.” She asked, not stopping the smirk that covered her face.

You turned to look at her, an annoyed look on your face “Everyone knows when you have practice… don't go thinking you're so special now.” you mumbled starting to walk again but she cut off your exit by standing in front of you and raising her arms. “Where are you going so soon?” she asked a piece of her hair falling in her face and for a moment you felt something change in your stomach, maybe it was a fear or maybe it was butterflies. 

“Clarisse … move.” You mumbled, looking to meet her in the eyes but she shook her head “Give me the answers.” She spoke clearly, her smile dropping “I told you, Clarisse, keep dreaming.” she rolled her eyes and shook her head “I don't think you understand” 

“I don't understand? You're the one who keeps trying to get answers from me even when I say no. if you don't understand the work then maybe you could ask me for help instead.” You spoke back with more of an annoyed voice, pushing her arms down which felt so strong in your grasp, and then walked away. 

She followed your figure as you walked, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned her weight onto one hip. “You’ll regret this.” She yelled out and you just waved her off. 

The next day you continued your life as usual, but this time you felt more people staring at you. It wasn't until your friend stopped you in the hallway did you found out why “Is it true?” she asked to which you looked at her with a puzzled look “Is what true?” you mumbled and she seemed even more confused “that you made a move on Clarisse.” 

You stopped for a moment “Hello? Clarisse? The girl I hate with all my life? No way.” you let out a chuckle at the thought, but you couldn’t help the shake in your hands increase. You didn't know who made this rumor, or why they did it in the first place. 

You have no issues with anyone (Except Clarisse) always trying to help others (Except Clarisse) theres no reason as to why someone would make such a weird rumor. 

Later that day you found yourself in the library again, helping the librarian put the books away. You were on the top floor that no one ever really went to unless it was to make out. You looked outside the window and saw the teams playing on the field, Clarisse and her teammates had finished up because you saw her swinging her bag over her shoulder and walking off towards the library. 

You let out an annoyed sigh hoping she wouldn't find you, but just as you thought of her you swore she looked up at you. 

So you quickly pushed the cart forward so you weren't in front of the window anymore.

It didn't take long for her to find you, you turned down an aisle and saw her standing there leaning against the shelf. “Can I help you?” you asked as you grabbed a book and traced the shelf until you found a spot for it. 

“Just wanted to see if you liked the little rumor?” she smiled coming closer to you “Oh yeah it was very clever” you spoke with a shrug as you walked down the aisle moving so you wouldn't hit her “All the teams were talking about it at practice.” You felt embarrassed for a moment but just shrugged your shoulders. 

“Okay … oh and by the way Mrs.Cofin wants me to help you in English.” You mumbled as you turned back to look at her, her smirk wiped off. “What! You little shit why didn’t you say no!”

She yelled and you quickly hushed her “Don't you think I wanted to! I have no choice, if you don't pass her class you'll be kicked off the time. I’m doing you and the school a favor.” 

You spoke annoyed, a frown on your face as she licked her lip and rolled her eyes, “Fine” she grumbled and walked off which made you shake your head. 

The next day you were back in the Library, top floor for privacy as you sat at a small table. Clarisse showed up late which didnt surprise you, she flung her bag onto the floor and leaned on the palm of her hand. 

You started to explain things to her looking over the notes the teacher had given you to help her. Clarisse couldn't help but not listen, she just stared at you with annoyance, but after a while, it started to feel like she was looking at you for another reason. 

“Okay do you understand that?” you asked and she nodded her head, adverting her gaze from you and instead at the paper. “Yeah… yeah I understand” she spoke softly. 

These tutoring sessions continued for the next few weeks, and even though it sucked, it started to feel like you both hated each other less.

She started to listen to what you said, and you took the time to learn about her sport so when she complained you understood what she was saying. 

You both still made fun of each other, bickered often, and rolled your eyes at each other, but you both couldn't help it, it's just how it's always been. 

But Clarisse picked on you less, smiled at you in the hallway, and always acknowledged your presence, and thats all you've ever needed from her. 

One day something in the air made you think differently about her, and the thoughts made your stomach flutter. It didn't help that your friend started to tease you in the hallway about the possibility of her taking you to the upcoming prom since the two of you got along. 

When you saw her walk past you in the hallway when you were with your friend, you couldn't help but follow her with your eyes, and when she smiled at you, your friend just watched you and how you reacted and let out a squeal when she saw you blush.

That afternoon you hated yourself, why did you like the girl that always had it out for you. 

As you waited for her in the library, you laid your head down on the table, you wouldn't even work out if you started dating anyways. The two of you are complete opposites, and even know that you are semi-friends you still bicker, it would be a bad relationship. 

Plus you saw her with that boy Ryan, so she probably doesn't even like girls. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt someone tapped your head and sat down. You raised your gaze and watched as she got herself comfortable in her seat “What's wrong with you today?” she asked with a sigh as she finally stopped to look at you. 

“Nothing … just thinking.” 

“When are you not.” she snickered, but as she looked back at you, and realized you seemed actually upset her smile dropped. 

“Okay … that's enough, just tell me what's wrong so you'll start yapping and we can end tutoring early,” she spoke up leaning back in the chair, her hand playing with the pencil she took from you 2 days ago.

"It's nothing really. Just something my friend said.” You mumbled shaking your head and opening your notebook. “Really? What’d she say.” Clarisse spoke a bit harsher sitting up in her chair. “I can do something.” 

You shook your head “No! You don't have to do anything … it's not like we are together you don't have to take care of me.” You mumbled which made you mentally smack yourself ... who says that!

She paused and watched you as you flipped through your pages “Okay but what if I want to.”

You paused and looked at her confused “Want to what?” 

“Take care of you,” she answered, a serious look on her face. You let out a short chuckle and looked away from her “You don't want to.”

“But I do.” She answered, you noticed how she sat up more, something she did when she was getting defensive, her knuckles turned slightly white as she clenched her hands, the rings cutting off some of her circulation. 

"you really don't" you mumbled trying to convince yourself she didn't for some reason

“Says who,” she replied, her face still straight which confused you. Clarisse was being honest she wanted to help you, this whole time she always wanted to and the only reason she picked on you was that she knew no one else would, you were hers only. 

“Says you Clarisse, you hate me.” You replied, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion as if you had missed something. 

She scoffed “I thought you were smart.” She dropped the pencil on the table and slouched in the chair, her arms crossing over her stomach as her legs widened. 

Your mouth slightly opened and you shook your head back, confused “I'm sorry … did I miss something?” you asked and she scoffed “Yeah maybe the part where I like you! Do you really think I would’ve complied with these tutoring sessions if I didn't?” 

“Uhm yeah … your sport-” She cut you off “ That I dont care about.” 

“Okay, but the rumor-” She cut you off again “Was only created so people thought you were only into me so no one would go after you.”

You sat there dumfounded for a few moments, “Oh” 

“Oh” she answered back, she looked away for a moment “So I’m guessing you dont like me?” 

You closed your eyes and shook your head “Okay woah woah woah … lets slow down partner.” you raised your hands slightly and opened your eyes to see her smiling, inching closer to you. 

Before you knew it her lips were on yours, and you had your arms wrapped around her shoulders. You never thought you would be one of those people who would be found making out in the library, yet here you are. 

A nerd and a jock, opposites attract I suppose. 

Anywho after a few moments she finally pulled back, a smile gracing her red lips that were plum from the kiss. “So I’ll take that as a yes?” 

“A yes to what?” you asked still in a bet of a haze “A yes to being my prom date.” 

“Oh yeah”

[buckiverse]

Sweet Surprises

inspired by eternal attachment :3

contents: fluff, suggestive if you squint, angst if you squint. friends-to-lovers vibe. confession *heart eyes*. 

summary: you tried to surprise zayne for his birthday but it failed. 

word count: 1.4k

notes: I havent written in so long, forgive any typos

______________________________________________________________

★It was the day before Zayne’s birthday, and your procrastination caught up to you as you stared at various ingredients. “Vanilla…chocolate…strawberry… maybe I bought too many base flavors,” you muttered. You sorted through the assortment of toppings—macaroons, blueberries, even edible flowers. Who knew you could flavor a cake with flowers? 

★You and Zayne had often talked about his love for sweets, but nothing compared to the day you both stood before the macaroon display at your favorite cafe. 

“What flavor are you gonna get, Zayne?” you asked, already eyeing a few of your favorites. 

He grinned slightly, “what if we get them all?”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Get them all? And put them where??”

“In my fridge, of course,” he replied as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

“Even so, we can’t finish all these by ourselves. How about we pick a few.” 

Zayne leaned closer, his voice softening, “Each macaroon not only tastes good but tells its own little story. Let’s try them all, hmm?”

★You smiled at the memory, whispering, “He’s so cute,” but your smile faded as you remembered the decision ahead. Zayne’s tastes in desserts made choosing the right one for his birthday even harder. And time was running out—this was supposed to be a surprise. 

★Another critical mention: you are a terrible baker. Between your hectic schedule as a hunter and lack of practice, you barely had time to eat properly, let alone learn how to bake. You glanced at the cookbook, the pages worn from your frantic flipping. Then it struck you—why not combine two things he loves? A macaroon cake! A… “cakaroon,” you mused.

★You decided on a chocolate base, grabbing flour, eggs, sugar, and cocoa powder. You mixed them, clumsily splashing batter onto Zayne’s counters. As you worked, one of your favorite songs began to play, and you softly sang along, your mind drifting back to memories with Zayne. 

★It all started when you were kids playing together. Zayne was always the quiet, stoic type, making teasing him all the more fun. As you both grew older, life pulled you in different directions. You moved to another part of Linkon with your granny; years had passed without seeing him before you knew it. One day, you landed a job at the Hunters Association, which came with a new health plan and a new doctor. You still remember the shock when you realized your new primary care physician was Zayne. At first, you thought it was a coincidence—after all, Zayne isn’t an uncommon name. But then, he walked in, the same Zayne you’d known since childhood, standing before you—a man now. 

★The truth is, you always liked Zayne. But you never quite knew how to communicate that. Maybe this cake could be a way of saying, “Happy birthday—by the way, I like you.” 

★You finished mixing the batter and poured it into two cake pans. “Mmh,” you nodded as you slid them into the oven. “Things are going good. I hope he likes this,” you thought, allowing yourself a moment of hope. 

★You sat on a stool by the kitchen island, glancing at the clock and humming to music. Suddenly, you heard the click of the front door. “Shit!” You thought, leaping out of your seat so fast you nearly slipped. During your panic, Zayne walked into the room. 

“y/n?” he called, his voice laced with confusion. He approached, reaching for your arm. 

You turned, face flushing. “Hey…” you said, trying to keep calm as you stood up slowly. 

“Why are you here?” Zayne asked, his brows furrowed. 

“I—I was going to surprise you,” you stammered, feeling your cheeks heating up.

“But it seems you got off work sooner than I thought….” 

Zayne looked at you, his gaze softening. But that didn’t stop you from talking. “I—I planned to surprise you, you know. Your birthday is so soon, and I know you love sweets. So I bought all these ingredients, lost track of time because I couldn’t decide what to do, and then looked up. You got home sooner than I thought, but I wanted the cake ready when you got here because this is supposed to be a surprise.” You stumbled over your words, going on and on about your plans for his birthday. 

Your cheeks heated up when you realized Zayne was smiling at you—that half-smile he always did when amused. 

A playful glint struck his eyes, “Should I leave and come back in an hour to give you more time to finish?” 

His teasing made your face even hotter, and you couldn’t help but laugh nervously. “No, no! I—well, I just wanted it to be perfect, that’s all,” you mumbled, looking down.

Zayne flashed that half-smile and stepped closer, gently lifting his hand to touch your cheek. “I don’t dislike it.”

The alarm for the forgotten cakes went off, breaking the tension between you two. You quickly turned and rushed to the oven, pulling the cakes out before they burned.

“Why don’t we finish the cake together?” Zayne suggested, his voice still light with amusement.

You placed the cakes on the counter, almost burning yourself as the hot pans grazed your fingertips. Zayne leaned over to inspect them, a teasing grin on his lips. “These are quite lopsided,” he remarked.

You blushed profusely, realizing you didn’t level out the batter earlier. Still feeling a little embarrassed, you watched Zayne walk over to his cabinets, pulling out a small container of toothpicks. 

He took one out and handed it to you. “Try this. Stick it in the center. If it comes out clean, they’re done.” 

You took the toothpick and gently pushed it into the cake. Relief washed over you as it came out completely clean. “Looks like it’s ready.”, you said, glancing up at Zayne’s emerald eyes. 

He carefully lifted the pans and placed them on the stove burners to cool. “What flavor were you thinking for the icing?” he asked, his tone more curious now. 

“I was planning on a raspberry filing,” you replied, your voice softening. “Like the macaroons we got a couple of weeks ago.” 

Zayne’s eyes lit up at the memory. “Indeed, that’s an excellent choice.” 

The two of you worked side by side, mixing fresh raspberries, chocolate shavings, and cream. The icing filled the kitchen with a sweet and tangy scent. As you stirred the ingredients together, a thought crossed your mind, and you couldn’t help but voice it.

“Do you ever get lonely?” you asked, your tone more vulnerable than intended. 

Zayne paused, his brows furrowed slightly as he considered the question, “Why do you ask?” 

You hesitated, then continued, “I was just thinking…  You’re working the day before your birthday. Doesn’t that get lonely? You spend so much time helping others, but who’s there for you?” 

He sighed softly, his gaze dropping to the mixing bowl. “I love my work. It’s fulfilling to perform surgeries and make a difference. But, yes, I suppose there are moments when I feel alone. What about you?” 

You stared at the swirling mixture, the vibrant red of the raspberries reminding you of the warmth that had once filled your life. “Sometimes, I’m too busy hunting wanderers to notice how I feel. I often convince myself I’m okay because I don’t have time to think otherwise. But lately, especially since Granny and Caleb passed—it’s been harder. Their absence is always there, even if I try not to feel it. “

Zayne’s hand reached out, gently covering yours. The touch was soft, but it broke through the fog of your thoughts. You looked up to find his eyes filled with sincerity, a quiet understanding that words couldn’t convey. 

“I’m here for you,” he whispered, his voice steady and reassuring. 

The loneliness that weighed so heavily on you seemed to lift for a moment. You moved your hand to hold Zayne’s fully, feeling the warmth of his palm against yours. In that shared silence, you knew you weren’t alone. 

Zayne gazed deeply into your eyes, wanting to see the soul that lay beneath. Tranquility filled the room, and the gentle strings of music were the only sound that broke the silence. 

Zayne leaned in closer, your lips almost touching; the tension between you was palpable. 

You lifted yourself, balancing on your tiptoes. Gently, you kissed Zayne's lips, feeling your heart skip a beat as your lips met his.

The kiss was soft, yet it carried an intensity that spoke of the emotions brewing deep within you. Your heart raced as he held you close, your veins pulsating beneath your skin. 

He slowly pulled away from the kiss, his emerald eyes never leaving yours.

______________________________________________________________

what did ya'll think :333

planning on writing a pt 2 maybe

ignore that I did not finish coding the stars LMAO

[kqtnap]

Hello can I request a Lawliet x reader

a girl detective who has grown up with him and watari but she stopped responding to the messages and attempts to communicate with him

Light Yagami

please

IN MY SOLITUDE.

l. lawliet x fem!reader

ꨄ︎ this isnt going to be very long, the 2nd part will be WAY longer im just trying to get atleast a bit of this out to show

ꨄ︎ content : fluff (?)

ꨄ︎ summary : fem!reader ignores Lawliets advances to try and contact her and eventually he gives up on trying. She later regrets this and makes an attempt to reach him and he lets her help on the kira investigation and eventually they make up.

ꨄ︎ side-note : im gonna be doing this in two parts because its a longer story >0<

ꨄ︎ wordcount : only 589 :3

"Watari, have you heard from her?" L asked, his voice laced of curiosity and concern as he sat cross-legged on the couch, a half-eaten plate of cake balancing precariously on his knee.

Watari, his eyes never leaving the multitude of screens in front of him, replied with a curt, "No, she hasn't been responding to my messages either." He says releasing a deep sigh.

The room was filled with a heavy silence that seemed to press against the walls. The once familiar chirping of birds outside had been replaced by the distant murmur of the city, a stark reminder of the passage of time. The warm, yellow light cast by the desk lamp threw deep shadows across L's face, highlighting the dark circles that had become a permanent fixture under his eyes. He took a bite of the apple, the crunch echoing in the quiet room.

"It's been months," L murmured, his gaze drifting to the silent phone on the coffee table. The female detective, someone he had known for so long, had suddenly gone quiet. They had shared countless cases, grown up together in the complex world of crime, and yet she had just disappeared from his life without a trace. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger at her sudden withdrawal, especially when he knew she had the skills and insight that could help him on the most critical case of his career, the Kira investigation.

Making a quick decision to contact the female, the dark haired male decided to send her one last email that could possibly change the situation and bring the two back together.

“Hello Y/N.

I would like to request that you meet me out for lunch at CAFEEL the coffee shop located in the underground section of Shinjuku Station in Tokyo tomorrow afternoon.

I have some very important things to discuss with you and I would greatly appreciate if you came alone.

Sincerely, L.”

y/n’s pov

My computer dinged, signaling i’ve received an email. I click over to the already opened tab to see one single email, I click it and soon im met with a breif email from L. Lawliet. My eyes darted back and fourth at the email, debating if I should write him a reply or just ignore it like have all the other emails.

I let out a shaky breath, contemplating my choices, I slide my mouse over to the bold ‘REPLY’ button at the end of the email I have received and I click on it. I quickly begin typing out my answer, feeling a light wave of sudden courage.

“ Dear L. Lawliet,

I hope this message finds you well. I sincerely apologize for not responding to your previous emails over the years; I appreciate your patience. I would be more than happy to meet you for lunch at CAFEEL tomorrow afternoon. It get how important this may be for our friendship and I understand the need for a private discussion. Please let me know what time works best for you, and I'll make sure to be there.”

I release a deep breath and start to stand up and stretch, releaving my body from being sat down in my old office chair for hours. I bend down a bit to close off my tabs and turn off my monitor for the night. I set the alarm on ny alarm clock for 9am to give myself time to get ready before I see my friend whom I havent contacted in years, finally heading to bed for a much needed rest.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? >^<

this def isnt the best i couldve done but im not unhappy with it >_< i will try to do a part two of this as soon as i can but ive been very busy recently so..

and i very much appreciate anyone who has sent me requests i promise im working on them

and please criticize this and let me know what you think . tips/advice are appreciated >_<

and @alyssa-dayne please feel free to let me know if this isnt what you meant in the request i will glady rewrite it for you >_<

[sillyyuserr]

Terukane analysis <33

one of my favorties because it really shows how much they care and more about THEM less about how teru looks at akane or things like that (watch the fuck out it killed me writing this)

like i said in my last last LAST post, i wanted to write an analysis on what happened between terukane just before the severance so here i am🙏

after getting back to the ”human realm”, akane realizes aoi isnt there with him, turns around in confusion, and sees teru with a saddened look on his face

Teru looks saddened while explaining what happened to aoi and how she couldnt return

Akane asks if teru knew the whole time, teru confesses to having had known that she wouldnt come back but didnt say anything, leading to akane being very clearly distressed and upset

Akane grabs teru by the shirt/jacket or wtv hes wearing and punches him and shoves him against a wall

Akane’s done with attacking teru, and turns around to try to go back and get her, falls to the ground in pain, his untreated wounds getting worse by the minute, gets back up to get her, teru forces him down, akane’s lying on the ground, disappointed and sad

Yadayadayada idrc what happens after this thats not what we’re focusing on, now that im done with the ridiculously long recap lets break it down further

As seen here, teru is both feeling and looking, extremely guilty. He’s guilty ab not telling akane, but knowing he kind of had to keep it a secret

Something you need to know ab terukane to really understand it, is their relationship is heavily built around their trust in one another so when teru hid how aoi couldnt come back from akane, he was hurt and confused as if he had never seen it coming, like it wasnt even a what if. He knows teru tries to be “perfect” to everyone else, but had never even CONSIDERED that he might lie to HIM. 

The reason this hit like a fucking global pandemic is because akane trusted teru so much he didn’t even think ab the “what ifs” and even if he did, him lying wouldnt even be on there

and since he was really hurt, he lashed out and punched him. Teru knew he was hurt/betrayed and let him punch him, feeling guilty at himself for keeping this from him. Gosh they really do care about one another

As seen here, akane tries to get aoi, but in his damaged state, he literally cannot. Teru knows this, and hurts inside seeing him like this, him having to literally shove him to the ground to stop him.

Akane seems to be at like rock bottom rn. Just lost his childhood bsf and this dude he swears he hates just lied to him ab something this srs. my mans really going through it

Forgot to add but teru looks especially heartbroken here looking at akane, it literally hurts him to do this to akane, but he knew he wouldnt leave aoi there so he did what was best for him, and brought him back. Also not to mention he literally travelled through the most notorious school mystery’s boundary (also the god of fucking death like wdym) just to save akane like what the fuck

teru’s so obvious istg if AidaIro doesnt make terukane canon thats one thing, but if they dont confirm or at least prove in some way teru has a crush on akane, my entire life is a fucking lie

pls give me ideas or stuff ab terukane that you’ve noticed and i havent im running out of analysis ideas 😭😭🙏

[inanimate-insanity-fan2]

ii 16 spoilers!! its true!!!!

alright fellas, this is gonna be a long one, so strap in. let me preface this by saying i havent watched the episode since it came out, so im bound to miss some things in this analysis/breakdown/crazed ramblings of a madman. my headcanons also might leak into this a lil. sorry bout that NOW ONTO THE FUN!!!!! now, we all know the trauma we faced watching this episode. but lets talk about the funny characters trauma!! staring MePhone, since he's my favorite guy. First of all, I don't believe MePhone was aware of the fact that he created the contestants. As much as i hate the corn man, he was right that MePhone needed to hear that too. MePhone treats them like real people. Moments of vulnerability always come through with him (mainly in season 3) and he actively considers what the contestants during these. Even if he goes into denial afterwards most of the time. Examples; the entire volcano episode, the bridge episode (2nd half), season 3 finale, some rare moments in season 2 that are scattered about. I don't think he'd do that if he didn't believe the contestants were real, y'know? He sees the contestants as real people that he can form relationships with, no matter how reluctant he is to do so. He wasn't aware of their creation. SOO!!!! That leads me to my next point. This get's into headcanony territory, so bear with me. Or don't. I believe that MePhone created them sometime when he first got to the island, maybe in that intermediate period when he deleted his memories. We can see that he shut down right after he pressed delete, and maybe in his subconscious state he could've generated them. It would explain why he didn't remember. I don't believe he created them before he deleted his memories, as he was still in shock and didn't really seem capable of purposefully planning out an entire cast right there and then. He would also remember doing so after he got his memories back in that same episode. Anytime after he woke up wouldn't make sense either, as he would remember that too. I see him creating them in that unconscious state as a sort of unintentional coping mechanism. The only thing that brought him comfort during stressful situations, the reality shows he watched, being brought to life by his subconscious. this does not explain him being chris mclean in season 1. this mystery will take years to solve. perhaps future generations will still question this grand, unknowable decision by the eldritch horror known as adam i am sorry for whoever read through all of this

[m0nsterqzzz]

Something Small

pairing: wanda maximoff x gn!reader

summary: you and wanda celebrate your one year anniversary, and she makes you cry. Happy tears of course.

warnings: tiny mention of death of a loved one, wanda making reader happy cry? literally just fluff

a/n: so this one means a lot to me as when I was a kid, my dad always used to play the guitar for me before I'd go to bed the same way his mother did for him. When his mom died, he stopped doing it. i was a kid so i didn't understand how much it hurt for him to even hear the sound of a guitar, but now that I'm older i understand it much more. I understand it even more now that's he's been deployed for over a year and half and even the sound of guitar makes me sad. He facetimed me the other day and played for me when he learned I was having a hard time sleeping, and i instantly burst into tears. My mom hasn't always been the best, but my dad has. So this one goes out to him even though I would rather die then show him my tumbler account. also, just rewatched the nanny diaries because scarlett johansson, and i remember how much i fucking love that movie so if you havent seen it, watch it.

song used as one dad sings because its the song my dad always sung for me: "Sweet Pea" by Amos Lee

The day you told Wanda about your childhood was the day she realized she loved you. It was weird timing but it was the way your eyes shimmered as you talked about your parents and siblings that made something inside her change. It was a look of far gone happiness, one that she wanted to make come back. You’d been dating for six months at the time, and she had recently told you about her brother and parents. “They sound like amazing people.” You’d told her, and she appreciated the way you didnt add a, “they were”. It's strange, but something breaks inside her every time someone reminds her they're dead. 

You told her you felt the same way as you told her about your father, and she’d replied with, “It’s because you love him. No matter where he is, no matter what changes in your life, that’ll never change.” She understood it in a way nobody else in your life did, the same way you understand her.

She’s never really believed in soulmates, but if they did exist, she's sure your hers. When she told you that one night as you guys were getting ready for bed, you just smiled and kissed her. You’ve known she was yours since the very beginning.

She was recently sent on a week-long mission, and she’ll be back just in time for your one year anniversary. You both agreed on getting something small for each other, so you bought her a few books she's been talking about recently and some new rings. She’s not a big jewelry person, but rings are something she cannot leave the house without putting on.

The sound of the front door opening takes your eyes away from the TV screen, and you jump up from the couch to run to her. “Wanda!” “моя любовь!” She catches you as you jump into her arms, holding you up with two arms and closing the door with her foot. You move back a bit to look her in the eyes, and it’s silent as you stare at each other with admiration. She has a small cut above her eyebrow, and a bit of dirt on her. Other than that, she seems fine.

She doesn’t drop you as she leans in to give you a kiss, but she does gently set you down as she takes off her shoes and tells you, “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too witchy.” You say. You guys stand there in the entryway for what feels like forever, embracing each other in silence before she decides to go take a shower.

When she comes back, she practically forces you to sit down and relax so she can serve the food even though you tell her she should after a mission. Wanda’s always been like that. Caring, even when she really just needs to be cared for.

You guys eat dinner while you talk, the previously silent room being filled with laughs and sighs of contentment. She doesn’t talk about the mission, as she always says she doesn’t like talking about work during her moments with you. She always tells you about them as you guy’s get ready for bed, and you listen to every word no matter how tired.

You guys always split the duty of dishes. She washes, and you dry and put away. It’s a boring process, but doing it with her always makes it worth it. The redhead then leads you to the living room as she uses her powers to turn on your favorite movie. She goes to grab something from behind the couch, probably a present, and you immediately stop her, “Can I go first? Please?” She nods without hesitation, almost like she's relieved she doesn’t have to go first.

Sprinting to your guys bedroom and then back, you join her on the couch and hand her the back. It’s sparkly green- her favorite color, even though everyone thinks it’s red- with white tissue paper. She basically throws the tissue paper behind her with a smile, which turns into a full on grin when she reads the titles of the books you got her. One thing about the witch is that she's easy to shop for. When you first started dating, a list of the books she currently wanted was placed on the fridge right next to the grocery list. You had simply laughed it off, but she continues to update it over time and it's become increasingly helpful.

Then she sees the rings, ones she had pointed out in a thrift store a few weeks ago. She slips on her fingers, and it takes everything in you to not make a comment about how hot her hands are. One is made up of tiny fake pearls, and that one goes on her pointer finger. Then a skeleton bone one, which goes on her ring finger, a small gold one with a red stone on it. That one goes on her pinky. Then a white one with a gold line going through the middle, which goes on the pointer finger of her other hand. She seems happy, and that makes you happy.

She gives you a small kiss and then mumbles against your lips, “Thank you my love.” The redhead sits up straight again, giving you a nervous smile and reaching behind the couch to grab something. She brings out an acoustic guitar, one similar to the one that your dad would use every night when he would play you a lullaby. In fact, right down to the tiny spot of blue paint marker your brother put on the side of it when he was five, it's the exact replica.

“So I um…..I tracked down your aunt.” Your girlfriend begins, not quite meeting your eyes as she fiddles gently with the strings. When you were a teenager and your father first died and your aunt came to pick up his things as she said you and your brother couldn't keep any of his stuff, you wanted to scream at her and rip the instrument out of her hands when she grabbed it. You don’t feel that way about Wanda holding it.

“After a polite conversation and a little bit of threatening, she handed over the guitar.” You giggle, bringing a small smile to her face. “Then I went to Clint and Laura, who spent a very long time teaching me how to play.” Your smile grows and she begins playing a familiar tune. The one your dad played. “They got very frustrated with me very quickly but they said since it was for you, they’d help me learn the song your dad made you. So I went to your aunt again and kind of stole the sheet music. I’m not very sure if that woman likes me.” “That’s okay honey. She doesn’t like anyone.”

You both quietly laugh before she clears her throat and says, “So I’m going to play it for you. I just hope you don’t hate it.” You don’t have time to tell her that you could never hate a gift from her before she's playing the chords. She messes up a few times, but it’d really be no obvious to someone how did not grow up hearing the song. Her honey-like voice fills your ears and it's like you're right back there, laying in bed with your favorite stuffed animal and watching as your dad easily moves his fingers over the frets.

“Sweet pea, apple of my eye. 

Don't know when and I don't know why.

You're the only reason I keep on coming home.”

Her voice is different from your dads, but that only makes it ten times better. You can quickly feel tears begin to form in your eyes.

“Sweet pea, what's all of this about?

Don’t get your way, all you do is fuss and pout.

You’re the only reason I keep on coming home.

I'm like the Rock of Gibraltar, I always seem to falter

And the words just get in the way

Oh, I know I'm gonna crumble and I'm trying to stay humble

But I never think before I say”

A few weeks ago, Wanda had laid with you in the dark and quietly asked as she was falling asleep, “What the hell is the Rock of Gibraltar?” You had tiredly told her what it was even as confused as you were, and it makes a lot more sense now.

“Sweet pea, keeper of my soul

I know sometimes I'm out of control

You're the only reason I keep on coming”

She is out of control sometimes, but you know how to bring her back. Actually, you’re one of the only people in her life that can.

“You're the only reason I keep on coming, yeah

You're the only reason I keep on coming home”

She lets the tune ring out into the silence as she concludes the song, and she doesn’t meet your eyes until she hears you sniffle. You have tears streaming down your face, and she instantly panics. “Why are you crying my love? Oh god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Was it that bad?”

You send her a smile despite the tears and shake your head. “No. Happy tears Wands.” She sighs in relief, wiping your tears with her sleeves as you take a deep breath. “That was beautiful.” You lean into her touch as she caresses your cheek. “When my dad died……i hated the sound of music. I wondered how something so amazing could exist  if something as great as him couldn’t.” She nods in understanding. “My siblings would try to play for me, and I literally broke a piano once because of how much I hated the sound of instruments. As I got older, I got more used to hearing music, but I didn’t exactly enjoy it. It was mine and my dads thing. He would go to work for a long time and I’d barely see him but I knew that at the end of the day, every single day, he’d be there to sing to me. So many things changed over time but that never did. Until….well until it did.”

She listens as you talk, humming everyone in a while to show she's listening but also stays silent so you can talk. You run your fingers gently over the wood of the guitar as if it’ll break if you touch too hard. “But when I met you……you played music everywhere. In the car? Music was playing. Making dinner? Music was playing. Hell you get in trouble constantly for wearing earbuds on missions so you can listen to music. And at first, I struggled with it. I wasn’t going to admit it because I knew how much you loved it and I’m happy I did it. Because now, I don’t associate music with how mad I am at the universe for taking my dad, but with you. My favorite person.” Her eyes sparkle in a way that makes you want to wrap her in bubble wrap and protect her from anything and everything.

“You’re my favorite person too.” She says as she leans in to hug you, burying her head in your neck. “And I love you.” Your girlfriend adds as she places a gentle kiss on the side of your neck. “I love you to Wands.” You mumble.

You don’t see it, but she lets one arm release you and places it in her hoodie pocket, squeezing the black ring box tightly. If she wasn’t sure before, she is now.

[julia4today]

the return of arthur pendragon - angst?? PT. 1

this is basically purely backstory, i needed to get something outtt (merlin x arthur)

a/n: this is probably the longest thing I've ever written. +I wrote this on a computer so everything is capitalized n stuff. and i want to say that im really sorry this is delayed and also the first thing ive posted in like two months. that's really on me. additionally, i have a reader x hobie fic coming out soon.

if you have sent me a request I WILL get to it, some may require more research and brain power. announcments: i have an ao3 (i havent posted anything on it though) pendragonco

Most imagine the afterlife to be a wonderland full of radiant flora and a deity only decided by yourself. A place where you may live out the years you never got to experience. But you would be wrong.

The truth is far more complex. It is a realm where echoes of your past deeds and dreams intertwine with the fabric of eternity. Time flows differently, like a river winding through the core of memories and contrition, where every choice made in life reverberates on the very existence of the universe. There are no simple paradises or solitary deities here, but rather a tapestry of existence woven from the threads of every life that comes before and leads after yours.

However, to Arthur Pendragon, both definitions seem untrue. It almost taunts him with how easy they make being dead seem to a new generation of the dead and the living.

To King Arthur, the afterlife is a treacherous wasteland, where the dead seemed unnaturally content despite their recent quietus. All he could do was curse his demise and all the unfulfilled ambitions that haunted him. He wondered about his darling Guinevere, how she fared, now tasked with ruling Camelot in his stead. He thought of the fate bestowed upon Gaius, the man he had trusted implicitly, who now carried the weight of the living through Pendragon's legacy.

But above all, his thoughts always returned to Merlin. A man he had once known. A man he had once trusted. Arthur imagined Merlin. Perhaps Merlin was so grief-stricken he never used his power again? Maybe he avenged the death of his king. For all Arthur knows, Merlin himself could've died, he too could have been cursed to this desolate ether. 

In reality, the world broke. His world broke. The once and future king, the man destined to unite the land of Albion, through magic and none, is now dead. Merlin, day after day, ran his last moments over. Cursing himself for the way Arthur left this world. If he had just listened to Kilgaraah if he had heeded his advice. If he had disposed of Mordred the first time they had met, the King would stand before him long after. No war would have ensued, and Camelot would no longer be in strife with war.

The day his death was announced to the citizens was a dismal one. Clouds cast over the town square, and the whole of the city gathered to hear the words from the queen herself. Gwen and Merlin stand where Arthur had stood just weeks prior. Where Arthur had announced war, Gwen shall announce the outcome of such a thing. 

“My dearest citizens of Camelot,” Her voice wavers. “It is with a heavy heart that I make this declaration. Our beloved king, Arthur Pendragon, has fallen in battle. The king lives no more. His bravery and dedication to our kingdom will forever be remembered. Let us unite in mourning his loss and uphold his legacy with strength and resilience. May his soul find an eternal peace” A long silence befalls Camelot. The only noise was the occasional strangled sob. Coming from townsmen and nobles alike. The knights stood on only one knee. Taking their solemn oath to the King to heart.

In the months that followed the death of the King, Merlin withdrew into solitude, seeking solace in the quiet corners of Camelot and the vast expanses of the surrounding countryside. Memories of Arthur haunted him—laughter shared over campfires, battles fought side by side, and the unspoken bond of friendship that had defined their lives. He found himself replaying every moment, every decision, wondering if there had been a different path—one that could have spared Arthur's life.

In the privacy of his chambers, Merlin poured over ancient texts and scrolls, searching for clues, signs, anything that might point the way to Arthur's return. His magic, once hidden away in fear of persecution, now burned within him with a fierce intensity—a testament to the depth of his devotion and determination. He thought of his previous journey with Arthur, a trip in which Arthur came back fuming at Uther. A trip where they had met with Ygraine, Arthur's mother.

He wonders what spell Morgause had used to conjure the image. Whether or not the image was manipulated, didn't matter so much to Merlin. If he could only see Arthur one last time. One more day. If he could apologize for his secrecy, if he pledged his allegiance to the king, if he could promise to carry out whatever plan Arthur had for Camelot, he would be content. Merlin had believed that if he could just find the right spell, he could bring back the king. Even if only for a short period.

Deciding this was easy for Merlin. Evoking Arthurs image not so much.

----

OKAY, i promise i will get part two out soon. my hobie fic comes out on sunday so

@maumnuu - this is mainly for you :p

[ender-cloud]

That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

[turtlestm]

i think this art has deeper meanings that no one talks about (banana fish theory)

take this opinion with a grain of salt because im definitely not someone who's been a long-time fan of banana fish therefore im relatively fresh in this fandom. i also havent read the entirety of the manga so take that too. this is just my thoughts on this art from angel eyes

yall ready? okay so here's my take: when ash initially conceptualizes someone who desires him, eiji in this case, he approaches it as if it's sexual rather than emotionally sensual because it's all he's known desire as. the only way he's known desire directed towards him is a sexual desire, one for his body in one way or another. however, when eiji shows his desire for ash, he desires his whole self, inside and out and all the ugly parts, therefore gazing deeply into ash's eyes, his soul.

this also makes me think abt the fact that in the prison scene, ash decided to kiss eiji right on the lips even though he didnt really have to (let's face it, he could've given the note thru a handshake) despite eiji showing no desire for his body prior to this, but he inadvertently showed that he wants to stick by ash's side despite hardly knowing him. ash probably was using that kiss to test the waters in some sort of way, most likely how eiji would respond rather than if he himself would enjoy the kiss.

i don't think ash had fully formed any kind of actual romantic feelings for eiji at that point, but i do think he was trying to convey a genuine trust for eiji when he kissed him back then while eiji didn't seem to really care for kissing ash and only stuck around for him

with this example i mean to say that ash saw the way eiji was treating him and how he showed ash kindness and wanted to test to see if ash's company or whatever is really what eiji wants by kissing him and seeing how eiji would respond. but since eiji doesn't seem to care about ash for any ulterior motive or sexual attraction, eiji's innocence shines through and he sees ash as only ash, not as his body or his benefits

this is especially meaningful to their relationship and development because this indicates that eiji has seen ash for who he is from the start. i also believe things probably would have turned out a bit worse (at least on an internal level) if eiji kissed back, which would probably have shattered some of the trust that ash had placed in him so early.

someone also mentioned on twitter the composition of this art rather than just the poses themselves; eiji is above ash, as if initiating an act while ash is grappling with how he should feel about his sexual attraction to eiji. as ash's story has not given him the freedom or bodily autonomy to decide a sexuality for himself (even taking away the one person he liked when he was fourteen, a.k.a. his one chance he had to explore his sexuality at his own will), he technically doesn't exactly have his own sexuality discovered and thus does not know how to interpret the way he feels about eiji. yes there is love, yes there is affection, and yes he does open himself up to eiji in ways he would never open up to anyone else in his life, but sexual interactions have been so tainted in his eyes due to his trauma. he only has ever been taught to associate sex acts with trauma so eiji is new to him.

eiji is not just an experience, but a person. the type of relationship they have is new to both characters. it's eiji's first time experiencing romantic love (as far as we know) and it's ash's first time experiencing sexuality that he doesn't want to run away from.

it's clear that ash wants intimacy and he wants to accept that desire, but it is a rough journey for him that eiji is willing to stick around to see through. that's probably why eiji is initiating the kiss here, because he wants to give ash a little push to evaluate how he feels here. i believe that he is waiting for ash to respond and ash's eyes scan eiji's lips while eiji watches his eyes to see what ash observes.

[liverpool-enjoyer]

hey yall forewarning this is easily the most embarrassing post ive ever made on here. like im not talking normal levels of tumblr cringe/oversharing, i mean youre probly gonna judge me and think somethings genuinely wrong with me. but i really need to get it off my chest so. yolo.

also tldr at the end in case you wanna spare yourself lmao.

mkay so recently i havent been online, because ive been really sad. and the reason im sad is that gavi got a girlfriend. which i realize is probly the stupidest and most juvenile thing to be sad over but hear me out (or dont lmao its a free country do whatever you want).

its not like i ever thought i had a chance with him or anything, im not stupid. but ive known for a very long time that, due to my asexuality (and other things but mostly that), i am never going to have love in my life. so for me, daydreaming and fantasizing about being gavis girlfriend was like,,, how i coped, i guess. it was a form of escapism for me. and now i cant do that anymore bc hes someones boyfriend and fantasizing abt another girls boyfriend just feels wrong. and pathetic.

it doesnt help that all my social medias have algorithmed so that hes all over all my feeds. and to be honest, looking at him just makes me think of his beautiful girlfriend who has everything i could ever want and i feel this horrible awful nauseating feeling in my stomach and i feel envious and sad and a slew of other things. it sucks that someone who once unknowingly made me so happy now does the exact opposite but hey what can you do.

i know it sounds stupid, but i dont think i'll ever feel for someone the way i feel about him. hes the most beautiful person ive ever laid eyes on and oh God i was right this does sound stupid ok lets continue

oh and let me be clear (you hafta read that in obamas voice) im aware that feeling this way toward a complete stranger (or anyone for that matter, but like especially a complete stranger) is EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY. unfortunately, knowing that my feelings and thoughts are unhealthy doesnt stop me from having them.

so yeah. now that ive lost my form of escapism, all i can think about at any given moment is how lonely im going to be. its hard to enjoy much of anything these days when all im thinking about is how im never going to receive romantic love, and now i cant even daydream about dating gavi to cope with it. because all i can think about when i try to is how hard his girlfriend would laugh if she found out some pathetic worm halfway across the world was fantasizing about her man.

so yeah thats it. i know that every time i angst abt my asexuality (which is a LOT like holy shit why do ppl still follow me), my friends tell me that its ok because im going to find someone someday. and i appreciate it, i really do. it means the world. but my friends saying that i'll find love doesnt make it true. plenty of people have died alone and unloved before, and i am going to be one of them.

tldr: a guy ive never met got a girlfriend n im having a depressive episode abt it LMAOOOO

[ppppxseur]

EPIC THE MUSICAL VENGEANCE SAGA SPOILERS!!

spoilers under the cut! do not proceed if you havent listened to the vengeance saga yet!!

also if you dont want to read my take about calypso, this may not be the review for you because thats 95% of what i talk about because I Have Opinnions. (spoiler alert, im a sympathizer)

600 strike

OKAY MY RATINGS FOR THE VENGEANCE SAGA GOES AS FOLLOWS

charybdis

not sorry for loving you

get in the water

dangerous

i thought everything was heavenly and i dont understand the hate for 600 strike???? people saying it was "too anime" like jorge wasnt inspired by video games and anime so like theres going to be a big anime cutscene of "the final boss"

my biggest complaint just stems from the fact that the saga felt a bit rushed imo? but like... thats just because the odyssey is so fucking long so of course the saga is gonna feel a bit cramped because theres just too much happening that can be put in the musical at one time

also also uh... the calypso hate... oh my god the calypso hate jesus christ you guys. calling her a monster and evil is like. an absolutely insane jump (IN MY OPINION)

because... okay. heres where my line of logic falls. obviously epic!calypso =/= odyssey!calypso are... different people, so obviously epic!calypso isnt going to be the exact same as odyssey!calypso. and i NEED people to get that distinction through their minds because i feel like y'all are comparing the two when theyre different characters written by different people.

people are saying calypso is manipulative in not sorry for loving you and im sorry, i just dont see it. manipulation is purposeful, its directed, its pointed. and i just... dont think thats what she was doing. granted she DID use manipulative language with the line "and if you hate me, then im sorry my love is too much for you" but i dont think she was actively trying to manipulate odysseus

because, like, imagine living your entire life on a deserted island. NO ONE is around you. you are literally all alone. even circe had her nymphs and aeolus had their winions. calypso didnt have any of that. so OF COURSE she was all over odysseus. of COURSE she mistook her feelings for love. of COURSE she did everything to try to keep him there. hes the only thing like her that she has ever known.

and before you come at me. i know. i know that keeping someone trapped isnt an act of love, but she doesnt know that because shes had no experience with other people before. not even other gods!

so i wouldnt even necessarily say shes being manipulative. shes just... telling him what she feels and worded it badly.

my opinion of calypso boils down to: naive and not understanding. i dont think she fully understands the weight of keeping odysseus trapped and the duress that hes under. i dont think she fully understands odysseus but she really, really wants to. shes so desperate for him to stay that shes not listening to him. and it takes hermes talking to her to snap her out of her daydream that odysseus' is hers to keep.

not sorry for loving you isnt a tantrum. its her expressing her feelings to him. its her final, true act of love by letting him go even if she really doesnt want to.

and i dont think odysseus was just telling her he loved her because thats what she wanted to hear. i mean, odysseus does not seem like the type of man to lie about his feelings or sugar coat shit in any sort of way. so i think, in some capacity, they were probably friendly. i wouldnt go as far to say that they were friends but platonic love doesnt just grow overnight.

sorry this ended up being a Calypso rant, but i honestly love her and i just dont understand why theres a lot of hatred for her. and some of the comments ive seen about her are so vile that im honestly wondering if this has anything to do with epic!calypso at all...

like dont get me wrong, i understand and fully validate you if you felt uncomfortable by her because i do see where the discomfort can lie! but i guess my kneejerk reaction to hearing love in paradise and now not sorry for loving you is that this bitch needs therapy IMMEDIATELY!

and then if you want to know the rest of my opinions about the saga its that i thought dangerous was good it just wasnt my favorite, get in the water is under not sorry for loving you just cuz i liked it more, charybdis bops i just wish it was a little longer.

anyway please dont flame roast me for my calypso opinions lol. i just have a lot of sympathy for her ig

[iapislazuli]

nightheart, finchlight, and pre-verbal trauma

(sorry, i ramble a bit here lol)

im surprised i havent seen any discussion or analyses on nightheart / finchlight and pre-verbal trauma, since that's like, exactly what happened to them? (And nipping this in the bud right away no, I'm not saying this is Sparkpelt's fault btw, she was suffering from grief and PPD, and she made the best posible choice by having sorrelstripe foster her kits! for her situation, she was the best parent she could've been). but finch and night were so young, they couldn't understand what was happening. they were newborn kittens who couldnt see or hear, the only thing they knew was their mother's scent, and they got taken away from her, and thrust into a new space wholly unfamiliar to them with no warning. yes, it was for a good reason, and yes in the long run it likely benefitted their health physically. and yes, it was for a comparatively short amount of time, too. but them experiencing that at such a young age, having all they've ever known taken from them when they can't even open their eyes yet is, well, traumatic! young children experience the world so much differently than teenagers and adults. everything happening to them is basically happening for the first time. how did they knew sparkpelt would come back? they didn't! they had no way to understand the idea of PPD and grief. the effects of pre-verbal trauma sticks with you for life even if you can't remember it. this is such a huge misconception about child psychology it makes me crazy. a baby being so young it can't talk doesn't mean it doesnt have feelings!! and this leads to my next point...

which is how the differences in their adolescences led to their abilities to cope with this trauma being different. pre-verbal trauma causes abandonment issues and trouble regulating emotions among other symptoms; something nightheart very obviously struggled with. but what about his sister? finchlight is seemingly way more well-adjusted. this is likely because she chose to follow her mother to exile. wether knowingly or not, she didn't reinforce the abandonment issues caused by her pre-verbal trauma, which led to her being a more well adjusted adult with less glaringly obvious emotional issues. it could have also caused her to become unhealthily clingy to her mother, leading her trauma to manifest in a different way. maybe she also has empathy issues, not understanding why her brother cant just "get over it" like she did (she didn't just get over it tho, lol, she's just coping in a different way). there's lots of room for interpretation with finchlight, i think. while the authors' choice to apply this experience only to nightheart is frustratingly arbitrary and follows warrior cats' very protagnist-centric narratives, i do believe that following an analysis based on the idea of pre-verbal trauma and finchlight's choice to follow her mother into exile, you can explain why these two siblings reacted to the same situation so different. and i think looking to it that way, it's pretty damn interesting!!

[kindred-spirit-93]

grace siblings x the ithaca saga

hear me out. disclaimer for severe sibling angst ahead so be warned. also! special thanks to and blame on @xixovart for the original idea :')

aight so, unreleased ithaca saga number i cant help bit wonder fits them and both of them extraordinarily well, allow me to demonstate:

All my life, I'd have died to meet you Thought about your name so much it hurts For twenty years I'd dreamt of how I'd greet you Oh, and now you're here I can't find the words

i havent read the books so pls correct me if im wrong, but i dont think the siblings saw much of each other after they were seperated.

thalia: perhaps here jason passes her tree unknowingly and she just feels him. and she thinks to herself all what could have been..

jason: hes heard so much about his older sister only now learning of her death, and it breaks him

--

All my life I'd have died to know you Days and nights I wish that I could show you For twenty years I never could outgrow you Oh, and now you're here

thalia: living on the streets perhaps her thoughts where with her baby brother whom she had to look after for so long, the price of ensuring his well being and growth stunting her own

jason: holding onto the idea of his warrior older sister, trying to live up to the image he has of her in his mind. he stands now helpless infront of her tree, unsure what to do. what to think

--

I can't help but wonder What your world must be If we're like each other If I have your strength in me

jason: now learning of the immense hardship his upbringing had entailed, the years of neglect and abuse followed by running away and not knowing his fate. jason is overwhelmed with what it mustve been like to live years not knowing if she will live to see the next sunrise

I can't help but feel like Sorrow's all I've known And I can't help but realize For so long I've felt alone

thalia: maybe as a tree maybe before that wherever she is or may be, thalia knows her brother didnt have the easiest childhood. he may not be on the streets like she once was but in many ways he had to learn how to fend for himself

both: reflecting on how theyve been doomed from the start. no child of the big three could ever have as we say in arabic مرور الكرام - muroor al kiram (lit. gracious passage) i.e to go unnoticed; they were never going to get the endings they deserved. its the price they were forced to pay for their fathers' mistakes and shortcomings.

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this next part is more father son oriented so ill skip the first verse lol

Used to say I'd make the storm clouds cry for you Used to say I'd capture wind and sky for you Held you in my arms prepared to die for you, oh How times has flown

thalia: once again thinking of the child she held in her arms, her baby brother, whom she loved more than anything, but served as a harsh reminder of the reality of their living conditions.

I can only wonder What your world has been Things you've had to suffer And the strength you hold within

jason: need i say more?

All I've ever wanted Was to reunite with my own 20 years we've wandered But today you're not alone

both: in her strange state of being and in his half living state, thalias leaves rustle in the wind, jason reaches to feel the bark under his fingertips. it hardly counts for an embrace, but its all they have

I'm finally home

both: jason cries and the morning dew falls and the skies weep for the siblings that could have had it all but were given nothing and stripped of everything

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fun fact i originally had just jason be telemachus and thalia ody but decided it works well for both so i split them into two different interpretations sort of?

idk in my minds eye it reads like how in movies 2 people reach out to each other at the same time unkowingly and like hold hands kinda but are sperated by a wall or sum lol.

yeah. them.