#^ by last day possible i mean u either need to have gotten two separate extenstions (hi) or u get 20% taken off yr grade

[dullahandyke]

Feeling a spiritual connection to the person in the English gc w the csm pfp asking if failing this module fails you for the year on the very last day possible for submitting this essay

[smellsfaintlyofvanilla]

“Hiii how are you!!!!! Can you please make one with Annie and Hange (They/them) (Separately please if u’d like!) because of something the reader did (Totally for u to decide!) and it becomes a whole deal and the reader ends up apologizing with cute tears in their eyes AND it SOMEHOW became a hot make-out session😏 so a lil bit of smut (HEHEHEHE) for the rest u can do anything u like! Oh and please fem!reader, tysm🥺🥺 enjoy ur day sweetheart!”

@claxrazy

Gotcha! I’m gonna have to cut the smut part a little short because there are two people (so it’d make it too long if I did finish the smut parts), but you can totally request a continuation of this post in a separate request if you’d like!

Anyway, I’ll be starting them both off the same because it’s the same scenario, but I’ll label them when I get to each individual person.

Stupid Decisions

(Annie Leonhart x Reader) (Zoe Hange x Reader)

AU: Canon

Category: Fluff, hurt/comfort (maybe?), some smut

Warnings: None

Summary: You make a risky decision while on a mission, and it ends up worrying your partner to no end. Still, when you two reunite, things go... a little different than expected.

Words: 3.0K

You knew you were in for it once your squadron returned to base.

Your squad, or, more so, you specifically, had disobeyed direct orders from commander Erwin. He had ordered for all troops to retreat, but you had been insistent to him that there was still a squad held up by titans that needed to be saved. He showed no remorse, and his unwavering decision to retreat stayed on. So, in the only thing you could think to do at the time, you pivoted your horse and charged straight at the titans and to the rescue of the stranded soldiers, your squad following after you short thereafter, despite their angry yelling.

The group of soldiers thanked you immensely for your help, but everyone else was displeased. You knew the reaction from your superiors wasn’t going to be especially pleasant, but that was nothing compared to what you had to do next.

Annie Leonhart:

You approached the door hesitantly, taking a deep breath and readying yourself for what waited you on the other side of the door; your girlfriend.

After collecting yourself, you balled up your fist and quietly knocked on the wooden door.

“Who is it?” A muffled voice asked from the other side of the door apprehensively.

You cleared your throat nervously before you began speaking. “Uh, it’s Y/n.” There was a short but heavy silence before you heard shuffling on the other side of the door.

It creaked open wordlessly, and your girlfriend, Annie, stood there staring up at you with a less than pleased expression. Still, she turned her body and opened the door just a little wider in order to allow you inside, and you stepped in quietly, and took a seat on her bed. She closed the door, but instead of joining you on the bed, she leaned against the door, arms folded firmly across her chest.

Somehow, you already knew what was on her mind before she even said anything. “Annie I-”

“What on Earth were you thinking.” She spat out, not even looking at you. Your jaw snapped shut immediately, silenced by Annie’s words. Just as you had thought - she was upset with you.

A tense, almost uncomfortable silence passed over the room, with Annie quieting once again, and you at a loss for words. You almost wondered how long it would be until someone spoke, because you were sure you could’ve heard a pin drop in the silence.

Finally she continued. “You were given direct orders to retreat, weren’t you?” She brought herself up off the wall and faced you directly, and you shrunk helplessly under her glare. “But you just had to go back for those idiots, didn’t you?”

She wouldn’t even lie to herself for a moment. It was just like you to go back and save people - somehow, that was just in your nature. But she couldn’t mask her disappointment. Truthfully, she was proud of your bravery and skills. But, more than anything, she was worried for you, and for your safety. She couldn’t imagine her world without you. She needed to make sure she never lost you.

“Don’t you understand it, Y/n?” She bit her fingernails - a bad habit she had been meaning to kick - with a troubled look on her face, and it almost seemed like she was talking to herself more so than you. Almost.

“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt! Don’t you realize how stupid that was?!” She raised her volume more and more, her tone getting considerably angrier. “What could have possibly gone through your head to convince you that that was a good idea?! Did you- did you even bother thinking at all?! About how quickly you could’ve led yourself and your squad to their deaths?! How easily you could’ve added ten more lives to the list of casualties?!”

She stepped forward suddenly, gripping your shoulders firmly. She didn’t want to sound so harsh, but she really needed to get the idea through your head.

“Did you even bother thinking at all?!” She shook your shoulders lightly, trying to pry a reaction out of you as you hung you head low, not showing your face at all. “Well?!”

She waited impatiently for a response, but she heard none. She was about to continue on about your lack of regard for yourself, and your blind hopefulness in battle, but her words died in her throat when a drop of something fell from your face, landing silently on your thigh. Her expression softened as a twinge of sympathy made it’s way to her chest. 

She dropped down to one knee to confirm for herself, and her eyes widened as she was deemed correct.

You were crying.

You choked back quiet sobs as tears fell silently from your face, making your vision far too blurry to make out Annie’s sorrowful expression.

Well shit. 

She knew she needed to be firm in her stance if she wanted you to listen, but making you cry was never a part of the plan.

She ditched the uncaring persona immediately, an overwhelming urge to comfort you overtaking her. She wrapped an arm around your back to pull your crying face into her chest, quietly shushing you.

“Y/n? Y/n, I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to make you upset... Please stop crying...” She pulled your head closer into her, rubbing soothing circles into your back as you sobbed quietly.

You weren’t oblivious to anything she was saying. You knew it was dangerous, unsafe, and most of all, a stupid decision. It had been eating you up, the thought of what would’ve happened if it had gone wrong. As much as you wanted to keep your composure in front of your girlfriend, the stress and the yelling just broke the barrier of tears from your eyes as you sniffled into her chest.

After a moment, she shifted the two of you to lie on your sides, and she reached her hand down to pull a blanket over top of the two of you, warmth enveloping you comfortingly.

“Y/n... I didn’t mean to upset you. I just... I was just worried about you. If something ever happened to you...” She paused, and you could practically feel her breathing hitch from your spot on her chest.

She didn’t finish her sentence, but she didn’t need to. You understand what she meant.

She continued to cuddle into you, cradling your head into her chest and shushing you soothingly. One hand ran delicately through your loose locks of hair while the other slipped under your shirt to rub circles on your bare back. After a while of silent comfort, your cries died down to quiet sniffling.

Finally, you turned your face to peer up at her from her chest, gazing into her eyes sorrowfully. Despite the harsh, icy coloring of her irises, you looked into them and saw nothing but gentle admiration, mixed with a twinge of sympathy.

“Annie...” You said faintly, the first words that either of you had spoke for at least the past twenty minutes. “Sorry... I... I understand now that what I did was risky and stupid, I just wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I’m sorry...” You muttered out an apology, and the vulnerability and intimacy of it made a pink blush rise to your cheeks.

“No no,” Annie interjected quickly, wasting no time to respond to your apology. “You don’t need to apologize, Y/n. I was being way too harsh to you. I didn’t mean to make you cry, I’m sorry.”

You smiled up at her, glad that she was no longer angry at you. You always hated fighting with the blonde, and you knew she hated it too.

A beat of silence passed whilst you two stared into each others’ eyes longingly, before Annie made a move on the tense silence, grabbing your chin and moving your face closer to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as your lips neared, and you did the same, before closing the gap in an affectionate, apologetic kiss.

Her lips were as soft as they always were, and just the presence of her lips against your own calmed you down, a warm aura soon filling the room. You wished the moment could last forever, simply basking in the moment while you had the time. You were so caught up in the kiss that you failed to realize the hand under your shirt was slowly slinking up your back and...

*SNAP*

Annie had brought the back of your bra up and off your skin, before letting go and letting the fabric snap against your back harshly. You squeaked at the contact, pulling away from the kiss instinctively, as a small stinging sensation spreading from the spot on your upper back.

She only smiled at your cute reaction, before pulling your lips back to hers more hungrily this time. She bit your bottom lip as if asking for entrance of her tongue in your mouth, and you gave in right away. She grazed the wet muscle against your teeth teasingly, before diving in further to explore your mouth.

After a moment of unexpected, but heated passion, you pulled away from her to catch your breath, pants falling from your lips as a thin trail of saliva still connected you to her.

“Annie?” You question breathlessly. “What’s... what’s this about?”

She only chuckled, and looked to the side, hiding the pink blush on her cheeks. “Ah, Y/n, you’re just too cute. I couldn’t help myself.”

She gazed down at your flustered face, and took note of the bewilderment on your features. “We can stop if you-”

“No!” You responded, perhaps sounding too eager. You covered the lower portion of your face with your arm in embarrassment before continuing. “We can... we can keep going.”

“Are you sure?” She questioned once again. “I’m only gonna do this if you want me to Y/n-”

“I want to, don’t worry.” You sighed, already feeling the warm, wet arousal pool in between your legs.

Annie smiled at the opportunity before shifting positions a bit, landing you on your back, pinned under her. She brought her mouth to your neck, trailing ghosting kisses along the skin as you whimpered quietly. Slowly, she worked her way down your abdomen, slinking under the blanket as she groped your breasts hungrily and brought her mouth to the area where your lower stomach and groin region met. She pulled down your trousers, along with whatever underwear you were wearing, down to your ankles, before planting a kiss directly on your swollen clit, eliciting a moan from you, which only seemed to encourage her more.

You had no idea how things had escalated into this, but damn, you were not apologizing.

Zoe Hange:

You hesitated in front of the section commander’s door, your closed fist hovering over the wood vacantly stagnantly. You had to knock, of course, you needed to talk with your partner, but you knew how scary they were when they were angry. They would never hurt you, you knew that, but that didn’t stop them from being intimidating.

A loud crash from the other side of the door startled you out of your thoughts as you let out a subtle gasp. Yeah, they’re pissed... You sighed internally, being loudly reminded of their habit of throwing furniture when angry.

Still, you swallowed your fear and braced yourself, taking a deep breath before knocking on the door quietly.

The ruckus on the other side abruptly stopped, almost like the chaos itself got curious by the noise.

The door opened wordlessly, and Hange stood tall on the other side of the doorframe, staring down at you, their usual bright face stained with frustration and annoyance. Your eyes shifted over their shoulder and gazed on in amusement at the upturned table in the corner of the room.

After a moment of silence, you expected at the very least for Hange to step aside and let you inside, but they didn’t budge.

“Hange?” You spoke up curiously.

They provided no verbal response, instead grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling you into the room, before shutting the door and slamming you against it harshly.

“Y/n!” Hange spat, their face hovering inches away from yours. Most of the times, such close proximity would be a welcome development, but at this moment, it was terrifying. They had not the optimistic grin they usually did, but instead an angry scowl. “What were you thinking?! Disobeying Erwin’s orders like that, I can’t believe you Y/N!!” They shook your shoulders, rattling you against the doorframe.

“Do you not have respect for him as a commander?! Don’t you realize there’s a reason he had ordered to you to retreat, dammit!” They released their grip on your shoulders, turning around to throw their hands in the air dramatically, before balling them up and punching a nearby bookshelf, breaking the wood and causing a multitude of books to fall to the floor.

They continued pacing around angrily, eyes fixed on the ground, seemingly lost in thought. They continued to walk in circles, their energy alone filling the room with a tense air. It stayed this way until they heard a quiet sound from the direction of the door.

Was that... Hange thought, turning around to face you, a sniffle?

Their eyes widened as they were proved correct, the tears in your eyes being a very distressing sight to them.

“Y/n!” Hange half-shouted, running over to you to survey what was going on. “What is it?!”

You sniffled again and wiped your eyes with your sleeve, struggling to find words for what you were thinking. You knew Hange didn’t mean to be, but they were incredibly scary when angry. Watching them march around and throw or punch things couldn’t help but make you frightened.

“I... I...” You sniffled. You expected more pushing from Hange, but you were caught off guard by arms wrapping around your neck and your face being pressed into the cloth of Hange’s shirt as she held you delicately.

Suddenly calmed down from their little tantrum, they held your head into your chest and soothingly shushed your cries.

“I’m sorry, did I scare you darling?” They whispered, concern lacing their voice. “I... I didn’t mean to do that. I’m sorry, Y/n.” They continued stroking your hair, and you latched your arms onto them, tugging at the back of their shirt.

“S-Sorry Hange...” You whimpered. “I didn’t mean to worry you... or disobey orders... I just... I couldn’t let them...” You couldn’t find it in you to continue, but Hange knew what you where going to say nonetheless.

“Don’t apologize.” Hange responded almost immediately. “You have nothing to apologize for.” They lulled, rubbing your back tenderly in a way that made you sigh into their chest as you felt the stress and tension dissolve off of your body. “I understand why you did it. I... I let my emotions get ahold of me. I shouldn’t be so aggressive around you like that.” They said, swallowing their pride in order to issue a proper apology.

You sniffled into their chest, your crying dying down as they continued to comfort you in a way that only a lover could do.

You stayed like that for a while, until you felt a small tug on the back of your head as Hange gently pulled your head out of their chest. They slouched over slightly, coming so close that your faces were inches apart, staring shamelessly at your lips.

“Can I?” They asked permission politely, and got their answer immediately as you closed the gap, colliding your lips with theirs.

The shock on Hange’s face lasted a microsecond at most, easing into the sudden kiss aimlessly, glad to enjoy this moment with you.

The kiss was only sensual for a moment, before Hange suddenly pushed their tongue past your lips easily, causing you to whine into their mouth.

You felt their hands slink lower down your back, and before long, they were seated comfortably on your ass. They lifted you up off the ground quickly, and you wrapped your legs around Hange’s waist securely so you didn’t fall. You felt Hange walking somewhere, but you were too caught up in making out to notice.

You finally felt them stop and set you down somewhere, and, to your dismay, they disconnected your lips from theirs, a trail of saliva still connecting your lips. You took a moment to both catch your breath and survey your surroundings.

Quickly, you realized that you had been set down right on Hange’s work desk, many scattered papers and documents lay flat right under where you sat.

Without warning, their lips returned to yours harshly, and your mouth immediately opened in submissiveness, allowing Hange more access to the inside of your mouth. You felt one of their large hands trail over the fabric of your shirt before dipping into the waistband of your pants and into your panties.

They slowly ran their finger up and down your clit, causing you to whine and whimper into their mouth as you continued to make out. Your arms flew around Hange’s neck to pull them closer to you, and your hips bucked into their hand to get more pressure on your clit.

Hange obliged to your silent pleas, dipping a finger into your folds, the wetness allowing it to slide in all the way up to the knuckle effortlessly. A strangled gasp left your lips as you disconnected from them abruptly, shutting your eyes in pleasure.

“You’re so wet for me, hm?” They cooed, sliding their finger out once again. You had no chance to give any sort of response, though, before they thrust their finger into you again, harsher this time. The sudden action and the spark of pleasure it sent up your spine caused a lewd moan to spill from your throat. You immediately blushed at the noise, though, covering your mouth in shame.

Your eyes finally met Hange’s, and they had a very primal, sadistic look on their face, a coy grin plastered across their face.

“You’re so cute, Y/n.” They smiled, pulling their finger out, leaving you feeling empty.

They walked over to a drawer on their nightside table, and you raised an eyebrow in confusion, before you remembered what they kept in the drawer.

They looked through, before picking up two strap-ons. One long and thick, and the other smaller with textured bumps on it.

“So,” they smiled, “Do we want the blue one or the green one today?

Sorry, this is kinda bad lol

Also, this took like too weeks lolllll whoops

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x01 Review

New Year’s Eve was a great way to return to HSMTMTS especially after such a long gap. Let’s dig in!

Vladimir Lenin once said that, ‘’ there are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen". It’s been almost a year and half since S1 ended but this past week has seen revelation after revelation as the fandom has resurrected itself and promotion for S2 kicked into high gear: Joshua Bassett came out, Frankie and Joe confirmed that they are a real life couple, Larry seemingly confirmed that S2 will only have 11 eps rather than the 12 initially ordered, and perhaps most importantly Olivia revealed that she and the main cast are under contract for 4 seasons and made clear that she’s leaving the show as soon as her contract is up.

I really enjoyed this premiere, it felt like picking up right back where we left off. I’m guessing that S2 was originally supposed to premiere around Christmas or New Year’s but the holiday decorations and real Utah snow add a charming aesthetic to the ep. Tim Federle deserves credit for giving HSMTMTS more of an ensemble feel which is no easy feat with a cast as large as this show has. It likely won’t last due to covid restrictions  but at least for tonight we got to see all the characters hanging out together acting like a real group of friends.

The dialogue tonight really reminded me of Glee and I think I mean that as a compliment. Miss Jenn in particular seems to be doing her best April Rhodes impression minus the alcoholism. 

The rini scenes tonight were lovely. Perfect gift was a great song and I loved the rini duet during the music in me as the world faded around them leaving just the two of them. The Harry Styles reference is funny in light of Josh’s coming out interview. Of course, it’s hard now to separate Nini and Ricky and Olivia and Josh. Their chemistry shines through as 2x01, 2x02, and possibly parts of 2x03 were filmed pre Jolivia breakup which seems to have happened around summer 2020. Whether they can keep that same chemistry later on in S2, not to mention future seasons, remains to be seen.

A major theme tonight was communication and clearly Rini need to work on theirs. Poor Ricky had to learn that Nini’s moving to Denver the night before she leaves town which has to remind of him of his mom effectively abandoning him. Ricky saying that he’s never gonna breakup with Nini ever again sure sounds like foreshadowing for a disaster though the odds that this time Nini initiates the breakup are pretty good. 

I’m glad that the show is continuing to delve in the Bowen’s divorce story with their house being sold and Ricky and his dad having to move into an apartment. Divorce is expensive and the division of assets typically leave people less well off. Mike Bowen needs to work on his communication skills but he’s rocking that beard; it takes him from depressed divorced dad to depressed divorced daddy.

Seblos was cute and in a nice change of pace Disney doesn’t seem to be cynically teasing them then cutting their scenes. It was refreshing to see them just being a couple and to hear Carlos casually refer to himself as gay. In that regard tonight’s ep didn’t seem like it was a Disney show at all and it’s major progress that there are now two main gay characters on HSMTMTS. We learn that Carlos is rich which seems likely to be a source of conflict with Seb who comes from a large farming family.

Bet on It was really fun and I liked that Ricky apparently couldn’t stop singing it. The medley of HSM 2 songs was fun but I’ll be real with you wildcats, I never thought HSM 2 or 3 were nearly as good as the first movie so I’m not sad that they’re doing something else this year.

Wild that Big Red’s mom also calls him Big Red. Salt Lake Slices seems poised to be a big part of S2 both as hangout spot and work location for some of the characters. Redlyn are sweet together but sometimes Big Red comes off as a closeted gay guy which isn’t ideal for a het pairing that is supposedly a big part of S2.

Nice to see Gina so excited to have sleepovers with Ashlyn. We know from 2x03 that Gina contends with being single on Valentine’s day and from her glances at Ricky tonight she’s clearly not over him. Tim’s playing with fire and I can only hope he knows what he’s doing. I liked the little detail of Kourtney having AOC on her vision board, it feels true to the character (hopefully AOC gets elected president one day if the USA doesn’t collapse into a fascist dictatorship or civil war before then). EJ’s beard has got to go but I like that he seems committed to being a better version of himself; very doubtful his plan to go straight to Duke like his forefathers doesn’t change by the end of the season. 

Derek Hough did a good job of playing Zach as a subtly condescending man who managed to swiftly undermine Miss Jenn’s confidence, we’ll see what he and North High bring to the table.

Looking Ahead:

Next week are auditions for Beauty and the Beast, we know Ashlyn gets the role of Belle and EJ has conveniently removed himself from the running for Beast which presumably clears the path for Ricky to take the lead. There’s been some controversy over the casting choices and I’ll save my comments about it for the 2x02 review.

We get to see Lily who looks like a meaner version of season 1 Gina, we’ll see how much depth she actually ends up getting. Howie is introduced in 2x03 and Antoine likely shows up later on. Jack likely shows up towards the end of the season.

Howie seems to have a connection with Kourtney though the character synopsis does say he gets close to a wildcat or two which certainly leaves room to slide him into Gina’s plot. We know Antoine is into Ashlyn so that’s another love triangle to look forward to. Jack was described as having wanderlust and most of the cast seems not to have filmed with him so I think it’s likely that he plays a role in convincing EJ to take a gap year rather than head straight to Duke. 

A translation leak on TikTok reveals that in 2x03 Gina is sad that she’s only gotten a Valentine’s Day gift from her mom. A brief clip from the promo shows up her on her porch at night holding a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that’s supposed to be from a secret or semi-secret admirer than it has to be from either EJ, Ricky, or Howie. If it’s a platonic gift then it could be from anyone, we’ll see what Tim has up his sleeves.

Nini moving back to SLC is a question of when not if. It’s going to be very difficult to bring her back in a way that’s justified and also doesn’t leave the time she spends in Denver looking like a total waste. Frankly, I’d rather the show just bite the bullet and bring her back with as little fuss as possible.

We’re possibly around a quarter way through HSMTMTS given that the mains have 4 season contracts and presuming that the show is not cancelled earlier. At the very least the show will be radically different after S4 if they try to continue it as Olivia has made very clear that she’s going to leave asap to pursue her burgeoning music career full time (notably she’s only done the bare minimum of promo for S2). 

Looming over the remaining seasons of HSMTMTS is what the professional relationship between Olivia and Josh looks like especially since in many ways the show is built around Ricky and Nini. Off screen relationships have often caused on screen problems and dating a co-worker is rarely a good idea since even clean breakups leave lingering resentments. Obviously the Jolivia breakup was not clean, Driver’s License, Deja Vu, and Good 4 U (which is a certified bop) were clearly written from a place of hurt and in some ways were written to hurt. It’s no surprise that Joshua has dropped his duet with Sabrina Carpenter from his EP; someone on his team at least is trying to stop the damage to his reputation. There’s a decent chance that Olivia’s songs becoming such hits has irreparably damaged Joshua Bassett’s reputation among the same pool of largely young women that he’s targeting his music towards thereby cutting off his music career at the knees. If nothing else this behind the scenes drama should keep things entertaining for a while.

Until next week Wildcats 

[hi-hey-haechan]

Hi! Could u plz do 37+52+53 w/ Dom!Jeno & possibly light choking? Thank you, I love your work! ☺️💕

Thank you!

37. "Can he make you feel as good as I do?"

52. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad"

53. "We're not just friends and you fucking know it"

Warning: light choking kink

Friends with benefits. That was all you and Jeno were: friends who just had sex sometimes.

Sure, Jeno was by far the sweetest boy you know, who also just so happened to have the same sense of humor as you, and who also was fucking gorgeous. No big deal, though - you were just friends. That's what he always assured you. And you always did the same. You weren’t supposed to be in love with your best friend, the same person who watched awful comedies with you and gave you advice whenever and wherever.

And yet here you were, out on a date with Renjun, and all you could think about was Jeno. Now, Jeno didn’t know that you were out with one of his closest friends, but he shouldn’t care...right? If he just saw you as a friend, then he had no right to be jealous. Maybe Renjun would be your first step in getting over Jeno before you fell even deeper.

“Hey,” Renjun’s sweet voice sounded, “are you okay? You seem sort of preoccupied.”

Renjun was your friend, and he was smart and kind and handsome. You loved him, but not the way you loved Jeno. However, Renjun had asked you out, and you weren’t opposed to the idea of getting over your unrequited love. You wanted to spare yourself more pain you’d feel in the future.

“Yeah, sorry. It’s just school,” you gave him what you hoped to be a convincing smile. Realistically, you couldn’t help but think about Jeno’s slight choking kink, how his veiny, long hand and fingers pressed lightly into your throat, cutting off some oxygen to your brain. His face had a hard look set on it when he choked you, kind of the way he’d look while rapping on stage, as opposed to making a mess of you under him.

The date was going well. Renjun didn’t try to flirt with you; you didn’t flirt with him. The food was amazing, and you guys made casual small talk and shared a few laughs. It was casual and nice. Here was the bad thing, though: you didn’t feel that way about Renjun.

You wanted it to be Jeno who was laughing with you like this, and raving over the incredible restaurant food. Why, Jeno? Why do I have to be in love with you, when I’m not supposed to? Why can’t I do this without messing it up? The entire date, you were preoccupied, and you hoped that Renjun didn’t notice.

When you were walking home, you turned on your phone for the first time in two hours, since you’d kept it off while with Renjun. You were shocked to find four missed calls from Jeno, and possibly a million texts. Shit, you thought to yourself, suddenly remembering. You were supposed to have met Jeno at your place for dinner and a terrible Netflix movie, commonly a Friday-night tradition.

He’d texted that he’d be at your house whenever you decided to show up, so you legitimately ran home, guilt present in your entire being.

The door flew open, your chest heaving as you panted, doubled-over in your doorway. Jeno’s head swiveled to look at you, alarmed at the sudden disturbance of his silence. His brown hair had fallen over his eyes, and his beautiful lips were slightly parted.

You wanted to kiss his perfect lips. You never kissed, due to it being too “intimate” for the casual sex you guys were having. However, that didn’t change how badly you wanted to kiss him, to feel his warm mouth against yours, your bodies close as you told him “I love you” from a simple action. You stared at his mouth constantly, wondering how it would feel to straddle his hips while kissing him deeply.

“Wow,” said Jeno, unimpressed, “you’re only two hours late. Where the hell were you?” His jaw was set, and through his hair, you could see his furrowed eyebrows and piercing glare.

“I forgot. I’m sorry.”

“Answer the question.”

“I was on a date with Renjun.”

And suddenly, Jeno was on his feet. He looked as though he could barely believe the words you’d just uttered. You looked at his ears, which were often a warning sign for his emotions. The tips were red, and it was clear to see: He was pissed. “Renjun,” he stated, as though he could barely believe it. “You went on a date. With my best friend.”

“Why the heck do you look so mad at me?”

“You ditched me, your best friend, to go out with a boy you like.”

“I don’t like him like that, Jeno,” you assured him truthfully. You liked Jeno, of course, but that was beside the point. “What’s wrong with me dating guys, either? It’s not like we’re dating. It’s not cheating on you.”

“It is if you’re fucking him.”

“How?” you inquired, beginning to get angry now. You had come home to apologize, not to argue. Who cared if his voice was, at the moment, so deep and dominant to the point where every syllable of his went directly to your core. “We aren’t in a relationship with feelings. You’re allowed to fuck other people.”

“Did you have sex with him?”

“No!” you insisted angrily. “I’m not like that.” The kind to have sex on the first date, that is.

“But him? You ditched me for Renjun. You’ve been such a bad girl tonight. And what happens to bad girls?”

“They get punishments.” Finally, what you had been imagining all day.

“Finally, you got something right.” Jeno’s ears were red as heck, and his stare was so intimidating that you almost wanted to look away. He bit his lip in frustration, something he did when he was really angry. He brushed his hair out of his eyes before walking right over to you. The both of you slowly tumbled back until you hit the wall. His strong, lithe body was keeping you in place. You were conscious of every single muscle he was pressing against you, and you could feel their slightest tensions.

You needed to say what was on your mind, for your entire being was screaming those words at that second. You were also mentally screaming “I love you,” but that wasn’t exactly something you could say to your friend with benefits. “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

Kiss me, you wanted to tell him. With his face just inches from yours, it was killing you to not break the distance. You kept your eyes locked with his, showing him that you weren’t going to submit to him so easily.

“You’re probably already dripping wet for me, aren’t you? Just seeing me get mad? Or is it for Renjun?” His face had moved so he was whispering in your ear. His hot breath fanned against your skin, and his lips barely, just barely, brushed the shell of your ear, sending goosebumps through your entire body.

Jeno picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder. He threw you onto the bed when he reached your bedroom. Jeno stripped you immediately, his hands frantic and eager as he removed the layers that separated you two.

Your thighs had been pressing together, attempting to relieve some of the aching that you felt in your core. He hadn’t been wrong when he asked if you were wet. The idea of him doing this to you had been in your head all day, and now it was finally happening.

His hand moved in between your legs, separating them to expose your core.

“Fuck,” he muttered, running his fingers up the slit of your hole, two fingers collecting some of your juices. He ignored the whimper you let out and the bucking of your hips against his hand. “You’re so wet. And it’s all for me, right? Or is it for Renjun?”

There was a slight tinge of vulnerability in his voice, as though he genuinely was worried you’d replace him with Renjun. As a result, you said, “Y-you, it’s always you.” Your last sentence had meaning in so many different forms. You meant it not only in moments like these, but in moments when you just looked at him or talked to him, struck by the person he was.

Since you were so wet, foreplay wasn’t a necessity in this circumstance. Jeno didn’t hesitate to slam himself inside of you, forcing a strangled cry out of your throat, due to the sudden pain of his thick length stretching you out impossibly. The pain was sharp down at your core, but you knew it would fade away soon. For now, you just clutched onto the sheets for dear life.

As he continued to thrust, his thick length managed to hit parts inside of you that were deeper than what he’d initially gotten. He was definitely, not in any way, shy in size, and every time you had sex with him, he’d manage to make you scream his name from just his cock alone. This was only emphasized every time he fucked you.

Pleas, for him to know how much you wanted to cum from his cock. Moans, to tell him how good he was making you feel with each small movement. Cries of his name whenever he managed to find your g-spot, to urge him to continue on. You did all of these whenever he had sex with you, and you fell in love with him more and more.

At this point, his hips thrusted with everything he had, going so fast that you couldn’t even speak or think. When your mouth opened to speak, whimpers and cries passed your lips and skin. Under Jeno, you were always falling apart, completely at his expense.

“Renjun, could he make you feel as good as I do?” Jeno’s voice was practically a growl, and you almost didn’t hear him, both due to how high on pleasure you were and how loud your own moans were. You tried to speak, but a moan fell from your lips instead. “Not gonna answer, hmm?” And at that, his fingers closed around your neck.

It was so hot, how his long fingers and veiny hands grasped your neck, putting the lightest amount of pressure on it. You could breathe, but not clearly. He pressed onto your throat with the slightest amount of force, enough to cut off a small part of your breathing. His face was above yours, fierce and caught up in the moment. His hips were thrusting so powerfully, hitting your g-spot. You could hardly moan out, due to your being choked, but the pleasure was sending you so high. Your eyes were almost rolling into the back of your head, unable to maintain control over your body or the sounds leaving your lips. Then again, there really weren’t any sounds leaving your lips, at this point.

You tightened around him, clenching around his member. The way his tip was hitting your g-spot was pushing you closer and closer to your edges. Jeno let out a swear at how you clenched. “You gonna cum for me? You gonna scream my name?”

Your legs were already shaking. His arm and hand were keeping you in place, head against the pillow. Your eyes had rolled back in ecstasy, and if your eyes weren’t rolled back, you’d be watching how his face screwed in pleasure, eyes closing, jaw slackening, eyebrows furrowed while his hair clung to his forehead with sweat.

You took in a shallow gasp for air, all you could really muster. With a final thrust, your world came crashing down around you, walls closing in around his member. His hand withdrew from your neck, allowing you to legitimately scream out Jeno’s name, body spasming from the intense orgasm that was sending pleasurable waves through your entire building. Your jaw hung open as you inhaled air and cried out his name on multiple occasions, in the span of some seconds.

Your orgasm had sent him over the edge, thrusting a final time as his load shot up inside of you, his hot seed painting your walls. His low moans had filled the room, and they were so hot yet so beautiful at the same time, the way he let out sounds of pleasure like that.

“No,” you said.

“‘No’ what?”

“Renjun could not make me feel as good as you do. Nobody could.”

He realized that you were referring to the thing he’d said during your rough sex. Plus, now you couldn’t walk, so it worked out even better for him.

“Good,” Jeno said. It looked like he wanted to say more, but instead, he just got up and grabbed his clothes. He asked if you needed anything before moving into the bathroom to change.

You had wanted to lie there with him for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence and warmth. Was that something that only couples did? You weren’t sure, but you and him had crossed the “friends” and “lovers” line multiple times. You, as well got dressed, grateful that Jeno had placed your clothes on the foot of the bed.

When Jeno emerged from the bathroom, you beckoned for him to come over to the bed, patting the space next to you for him to sit. He was more hesitant that usual, but he did as you had requested. He looked to you, waiting for you to speak. Your eyes locked, and your heart ached. Jeno looked so beautiful. He always did. But you couldn’t have him, not in every way you wanted him.

Finally, you remembered to speak. “Why did you get so jealous? We’re not toge--”

You were suddenly cut off, his lips pressing against yours firmly, harshly, desperately. His hands flew up to cup your face, and he kissed you with so much love and intensity that you wanted to cry, almost. It was messy and unpracticed, but everything he had was poured into the kiss. You didn’t push him away, even when you finally registered what had happened. This was what you wanted, and it was even more wonderful than you’d imagined.

He broke away with a wrench. Jeno had a horror-stricken expression written across his face, his swollen lips agape in disbelief. “Holy...I’m so sorry. I just...I felt like kissing you?”

“Why did you? Not opposing, just wondering.”

“I don’t know. I mean...we’re just friends.”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” Your voice rang out through the room. This was how you felt, splayed out for everyone. “I’m sorry,” you said, “but I fell for you. I love you. I know this now means that we need to end things, and I understand why.”

“Did you seriously think that I didn’t love you back? Of course I do. I failed the number-one friends-with-benefits rule, but I couldn’t help it. It’s you. It’s always you.” Jeno’s voice was kind and sincere, and you kissed him in that second. You didn’t want to sort through anything anymore, but the prolonged feeling of his mouth against yours was something he’d wanted.

“You know, I went on a date with him because I wanted to get over you. I didn’t think you’d love me back.”

“Well, I do. Oh my gosh, was the famous y/n wrong about something?”

You answered with a smile. “Yes, and for once, I’m so happy to be wrong.”

[rebelrainfall]

you know what they say about absence

ao3 link here

Hey @cassianserso it’s me, your secret santa! I loved your prompt (Jyn and Cassian writing letters to each other), and I had SO much fun with it. I so hope I did it justice!

***

The cold air hits Jyn like a wall as the door to the transport swings open. It may be a good thing - there was barely room to sit down during this last four-hour leg of the return trip and she’s about ready to collapse. Cassian’s not in the hangar, not that she expected him to be, and neither is the U-wing. He must have left already, for what will be his first covert op in almost a year. He was so restless being grounded, hated feeling useless. She’s happy for him.

She’s less happy for herself, not that that’s a thought she has the time or will to explore.

No matter what Solo might say, there’s nothing weird about what she and Cassian are. Since those few, tense weeks after Scarif they’ve become close, and that’s all it is. They share a room because it’s convenient. They’re friends. Partners. And yeah, if someone had told her a year ago her life would be like this she would have been terrified, but things are different now. It’s good. What they have is good. She’s good at soothing that little voice that cries every now and then (more than she’d ever like to admit) for more. What he gives her is more than enough.

Jyn punches the code into the door of their room, ignoring the pounding behind her eyes. She has a day and a half before she’ll have to ship out again and she intends to spend as much of that time as possible asleep. Even the hot water in the ‘fresher isn’t enough to keep her there for a moment longer than necessary.

Cassian is definitely gone. The cot across from hers is neatly made, his least-conspicuous jacket gone from its hook. He’ll be on a mid level of Coruscant by now, if she remembers correctly what he told her. 

Her own things are almost entirely the way she left them. Her blankets are half-on, half-off the bed, her vest thrown over the back of the desk chair, but there is something different. 

There’s a piece of folded flimsi on her pillow.

There’s no introduction - her name isn’t even on it. But the note is in Cassian’s handwriting.

I was hoping you’d be back before I left and it came so close. If you arrived when you were scheduled to it’ll only have been an eight hour difference. I can’t say when I’ll be back but I think it should be soon. 

I heard from Bodhi yesterday. He says to tell you training is going well. He didn’t say as much, but it sounds like things are going well with Skywalker, too.

K wasn’t cleared to come with me for this one and he’s very upset about it, so be advised. He should be having his ocular lenses replaced in Bay 3 if you need him.

Maybe you’ll be around when I get back next time. I guess I’ve gotten used to [word(s) scribbled out] having someone else in the room at night. The silence is strange.

There’s no ending or signature, but she doesn’t need one. Cassian never struck her as one for gestures like this, and that he went out of his way to leave this for her makes her warm in a way she refuses to linger on. 

She sleeps twelve hours that night, and ten the next, and in the time between she snatches a sheet of flimsi from a supply closet to return the favour.

I’m sorry I can’t be back to see you. Trafficking rings don’t like to be kept waiting. At least I had two full nights in a proper bed, but you’re right. I miss It is too quiet here alone.

K is a little more charitable now that he can see again. I almost want to say pleasant, but we both know that word doesn’t apply to him. Don’t listen to anything he may tell you - the smoke bomb was his idea.

I’m shipping off again this afternoon to the outer rim, somewhere near Sullust. Pilot says the planet’s almost as cold as here. Bet you had a nice warm room on Coruscant, too bad I can’t stow away with you.

She leaves her note on his pillow and climbs into the shuttle with his in her pocket, like some holo-drama damsel collecting love letters. 

 Maybe he’ll be here next time she gets back.

II.

He isn’t. 

There are signs all over the room that he was here, at some point, since her. Another jacket missing from its hook, an empty mug where she didn’t leave it.

Another note on her pillow.

Just missed you again. We have the worst timing. I’m back on Coruscant, but this next stint is [word(s) scribbled out] delicate. I might be back in a few weeks, but it could be months. I hoped to see you before I left, but you’re right. The war doesn’t wait. 

Don’t let it go to your head, but I think I miss you. I still couldn’t bring K and it gets [word(s) scribbled out] boring by myself. K’s still being a grump - keep him company for me, hey? I also heard something about him attempting to create his own language to bother Skywalker’s droid, so I suggest you keep an eye on that.

There’s still no signature, but this time there’s a date. Two weeks ago. Jyn puts the flimsi down with a heavy breath. It could be months. The timing is… not great. She has an unusual stretch of downtime, more than a week, and no one to spend it with. This is the end of what she’d become accustomed to, she realizes. Now that he’s back in the field, Cassian can no longer be a daily fixture in her life. The prospect frightens her more than she cares to consider.

It’s ironic. Never thought I’d be sad to be alone.

Of course it isn’t so lonely as she might have feared. Bodhi is finally back from his flight training, a full-fledged X-wing pilot with the stories and the friends to prove it. He’s come such a long way in the short time she’s known him and his company is refreshing, even if he isn’t the man she finds her mind wandering far too often toward now that he’s gone.

She sleeps fine that week, though the nights are still too quiet. She could never miss the hum of snoring and whispers of the pathfinders at night. But alone, the dark and the quiet are oppressive in their deepness, threatening to swallow her without Cassian’s steady breathing from across the small space. It scares her, how accustomed she’s gotten to having someone else around. To having him around.

Maybe this is for the best, this separation. She hadn’t realized how much she relies on Cassian, his presence, his kindness. It’s a dangerous game, to rely on anyone. She’s always held a savage pride toward her independence, and maybe this reminder is what she needs to get herself back on track. 

Maybe.

But when she considers it, life without him seems more frightening even than the weakness of reliance. She doesn’t have to be alone any more. The night before she leaves again she sits at the desk in their quarters writing him another note.

Sorry I can’t be here, tried my best! Since you’re so broken without me. I’m never forgetting that and I’ll make sure you don’t either.

Hope you’re here when I get back. I need Bodhi needs someone else to talk to - you can only hear the same three stories about Luke Skywalker so many times and I hit my limit two days after he got back.

Heading back to the outer rim today. Those traffickers from before are gone so now we’re just cleanup crew. Getting sick of Dameron’s jokes. Not that yours are any better. 

Maybe I do miss you

III.

Four time zones on three different planets in the space of a week and Jyn’s circadian rhythm is wrecked. Thane says it’s 0500 local time when they hit atmo and she has to take his word for it because that makes as much sense as anything else.

She doesn’t see many people as she lugs her duffle back toward the barracks. It’s early enough that anyone on a night shift is still working and most of those who start in the morning aren’t awake yet. Madine’s given the crew the full day off, thank the force, and Jyn intends to take full advantage of that fact.

She opens the door and switches on the light before she notices anything different. Someone startles upright on the cot across from hers.

“Shavit, sorry!” She flicks it back off, already halfway to the ‘fresher to turn on that light instead as her pack lands on the floor with a quiet thud.

“No, no, it’s ok. I’m not - I wasn’t asleep.” Cassian’s voice is rough, but alert. “Turn on the light.”

She does, kicking off her boots, before the first thing he said registers. “It’s five in the morning! Why weren’t you asleep?”

He shrugs, squinting at her as his eyes adjust to the light. His hair has gotten longer since she saw him last, long enough now to fall in his face. A little part of her wants to comb it away from his eyes, or maybe tousle the bit by his ears. She shoves the thought away.

“Hi, by the way,” he says, ignoring her question. “Did you just get back?”

“Yeah.” She slumps down on her bed. “And hello to you, too.”

Stars, she’s missed him. Until now she hadn’t realized how much. But now that she’s looking at him… The way he smiles at her, gentle, makes her want little more than to wrap her arms around him. Kiss that gorgeous grin off his face.

Oh.

When did that start?

(A long time ago, not that she means to admit it).

He’s saying something but she missed the beginning, a little distracted.

“Sorry?”

He shakes his head. “You really are tired. I said, meet me for lunch, if you’re awake by then?”

“Sure, I probably will be.” She’ll make sure she is - like she would skip a meal with him after the six weeks they’ve just missed each other. “How long are you back?”

“Technically, I’m still a stand-by agent. So probably a while.

“I have at least a week.” Jyn drags herself back upright and heads towards the ‘fresher. The sooner she gets in the shower, the sooner she can get out and into bed. The hot water is heaven after so long caked in mud, but it still isn’t enough to keep her any longer than necessary. Once she’s out and dressed she sits on the counter to braid her hair, listening to Cassian talk about Coruscant through the open door.

“You should know, my ‘apartment’ sucked. My neighbour in the unit below smoked and it would come up through the vent and I didn’t have any windows. You would have hated it.”

“Wanna bet? I slept in a tree last night. Not a treehouse or even a platform, a hollowed-out tree.”

He huffs a laugh. “Sounds like fun.”

She finishes her hair and turns her attention to the healing gash on her shoulder, opening the cupboard for a square of gauze and a roll of medical tape. She hops down from the counter to pass them to him. “Help me with this?”

“Where?”

“Shoulder. I can’t quite reach it.”

She turns around and pulls down the strap of her tank top to show him. He hisses in sympathy.

“What did you do to yourself?”

“Fight with that stupid tree. It looks worse than it is.”

“Still.”

Settling down on his bed, he guides her to sit in front of him so he can center the gauze over the wound. His hands are gentle smoothing the edge of the tape to her skin. She hopes it’s cold enough that he’ll assume that’s what makes her shiver. He’s so careful - far more than she would have been.

He runs a hand softly up and down her back once it’s in place, and Jyn freezes. 

“There,” he murmurs, “All patched up.”

“Thank you,” she says, proud of how steady her voice is. Force, she’s pathetic. He’s her friend. This is nothing new, this touch is not new. 

If she were to lean back she would be in his arms.

Not that she’s thinking about that.

They’ve lived together for months. He’s touched her more than this dozens of times. Why is this the gesture to undo her?

Cassian clears his throat and she almost jumps. Kriff, did he notice her sudden nervousness? But then he gestures to the desk and the two cups on it.

“Caf for me, tea for you. Should be cool enough to drink, now.”

Oh, he’s an angel. She stands up to get them and then to sit down on her own cot, grateful to have an excuse to get away from his overwhelming proximity. She passes his mug across to him and takes a sip of hers, and of course it’s her favourite kind.

“Thank you. You’re getting up now?”

“If I get more done this morning I can have a longer break for lunch with you.”

Stars, has he always been this kind?

“Aw,” she deadpans, “It’s like you missed me.”

He flicks his eyes up to hers, then looks down into his own drink. 

“I did.”

She focuses on her tea, carefully not looking at him. She can’t feel this way. Not now, not ever. This is Cassian. 

“How did the rest of the trip go? Aside from the evil tree.” It’s been quiet for long enough that the question is a surprise. She shrugs. It’s ok, she tells herself. He’s her friend and that’s more than enough. She’ll love him forever for it no matter how else her traitorous heart might behave.

“Boring. Helped Kyrell’s squadron distribute aid for a while, and then we took out the last holdout cell. It was never a huge operation. That ring had maybe a dozen ships.”

“Boring is good.”

“Mm. How about you?”

“A little less boring, but I can’t… it’s classified, sorry.”

She knows he’s not brushing her off. She wishes there was something he could tell her, if only to keep hearing his voice after so long, but she’s used to that answer. So she takes another sip of her tea and tries to remember anything that’s happened. Anything she could say to make him smile.

“How is Kay?” Is what she settles on. “Did he finish that spite-project of his?”

“His language? He did, and Threepio is suitably bothered.”

“Good.”

“What’s better though - the princess caught wind of it and now she’s trying to figure out if we could work it into a code. So all the droids might have to learn it, not just Threepio.”

It was the right topic. Casisian’s lit up as he tells her about this, all the little details he knows. She finishes her tea before she has time to realize it, and her exhaustion really is starting to catch up with her, but it’s not until Cassian stands up that she gives any of that a moment’s thought.

“You should get to bed,” he says, crouching down to fish his clothes out from the drawer under his bed. “You have six hours ‘til lunch and if you’re late I’m not saving you caf.”

“Mean,” she grumbles, pulling her blankets up off the floor and setting an alarm on her datapad while he takes out a towel. She hears Cassian turn on the shower as she lays down. She’s asleep before it shuts off.

*

Jyn would not consider herself a morning person. Not that it’s truly morning when her alarm goes off at half-after noon, but that’s just a technicality. She tells herself it’s better for her sleep cycle to get up now, and go back to bed at a more normal hour, but really it’s only her plan with Cassian that gets her properly awake.

Alarm still blaring, she reaches under the bed to grab the first set of clothes she can reach. She sits up, stretches, and reaches to turn it off.

And stops.

There’s a piece of flimsi on her datapad.

Confused, she reaches for it. She talked to Cassian only hours ago, and she’ll see him soon, so why would he need to leave her a letter now?

Unless he couldn’t meet her. If he was sent off for another op, if he’s going to be gone for weeks, but no. He’d have woken her if he had to leave. He wouldn’t leave without a goodbye.

She unfolds the note, worried. Something must be wrong.

Jyn, it begins, and that’s new. She likes the way her name looks in his small, tidy writing.

Jyn,

I’m glad you’re  home. I really have missed you. So much.

There’s something I want you to know. I never planned to tell you but [word(s) scribbled out] I think I see things a little differently now. I should have waited until I saw you at lunch but I think this may be easier in writing.

I won’t waste time. I love you. You know that already, you must. You mean so much to me and I don’t want to imagine my life without you. But it’s more than that, I’m in love with you. I was never going to bring it up but something this morning [word(s) scribbled out] [word(s) scribbled out]. I can’t explain it.

If I’m right, if you want what I do, forgive me for doing this the coward’s way and let me be yours. If I’m wrong, [word(s) scribbled out] I’m so sorry. Please, please, let me down softly and I’ll never bring this up again. We can forget about it, I’ll get over myself, just let me be in your life. I had to tell you. I love you. I’m sorry.

Jyn stares down at the words on the page.

It doesn’t compute.

Not the first time, barely the second time.

Let me be yours.

Jyn puts the letter down after her fourth time reading it, only to pick it right back up again.  She takes a deep breath, forcing her mind into a facsimile of calm and tries to think logically. 

Everything she’s hardly realized she wanted. More.

He…

He loves her.

Cassian loves her. And by now he’s probably sitting in the mess wondering if she’ll show up. Assuming the worst, if she knows him at all.

He loves her.

Luckily, there’s something she can do about that.

[theamberwriter]

Hi!! The request about Aizawa x waifu reader ( with a bouncing baby) was so cute.... I had a dream about it I’m not joking 100% soft bc of it, I have 2 requests for you!! Can you do a scenario when midnight spilled the beans about reader liking Aizawa ( like you mentioned in the scenario, maybe when they are still on highschool like last year or smth?) and the second request is either a scenario or hcs (whatever u like!) with a their family finally adopting eri Chan?? Pls?? Thank you!

A/N: I’m so glad you liked it so much! Sorry, it took so long. Here’s the first part. I’ll post the headcanons separately, and link from this post!

Read the Series! [2] [3] [4]

Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x Fem!Reader

Word Count:  2219

Warnings: None

~*~

You’d done it, it was by the skin of your teeth, but you’d done it. You actually graduated UA. It might have been in general studies but, by God, you fucking did it. There was just one problem - Nemuri, aka Midnight. A long-time friend who was two years older than you.

You hung out with her and her two friends, Shouta Aizawa and Hizashi Yamada, frequently. And had developed quite the crush on the comparatively quiet Aizawa. Nemuri wanted to celebrate with drinks. But you’d been drinking with her before. It was a less than pleasurable experience. 

Nemuri had a way of spewing everything that was on her mind. The alcohol broke her common sense filter. Although even sober, she was so excited to find out about your crush that she nearly slipped. You’d been lucky up until now. But she wanted to go to a bar to celebrate. Even just the thought made your stomach twist you into sickening knots.

“Shouta’s not going to find out!” you told your reflection as you prepared yourself in the mirror. But you knew she’d catch the little things you did to try and make yourself more attention-grabbing. More appealing to his eye. The extra dab on perfume he’d complimented you on once. She would call you out for it. But you couldn’t help yourself.

You groaned into the mirror. “This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t told her. Or maybe I should’ve told him. I don’t know. - Gods save me.”

You checked the clock on the wall. You were going to have to leave soon. Whether you wanted to or not. You figured it was best to leave on your own before Nemuri dragged you out by your hair. 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” you uttered, locking up behind you. “I mean, he could just say he’s not into you. Right? Or he could laugh at you. Or he could never speak to you again, or - [Name], stop it. It’s only Shouta. And Nemuri won’t say anything…right?”

You knew that was a flat out, straight up lie. Nemuri was sure to do…something. You’d just have to deal with whatever happened. But you were praying that nothing did. 

“[Name], you’re finally here! Slowpoke!” Nemuri slurred the moment you walked into the bar. She stumbled over to you and dragged you over to a table. “Even the boys were here before you!”

“Hey, hey! It’s the lady of honor!” Hizashi announced loudly, standing to throw an arm over your shoulder. “Congrats on finally catching up with the rest of us!”

“Leave her be, Hizashi,” Shouta groaned, standing himself. Hizashi sat back in his seat. But Shouta nodded at you. “Congratulations. You’ve worked hard. You earned it.”

You tried to look him in the eye. But ended up staring off the side of him. You smiled, but it felt weird. “Thank you.”

“So what’ll you be having, pretty lady?” Nemuri flung an arm over your shoulder. “Mmm, is that perfume I smell -”

Your face felt hot. You excused yourself and pulled her over to a far wall. You tried to square her up as much as possible. But you could already see that she was out of it. She gave you a goofy, but ultimately knowing, grin.

“You all dressed up for Shouta?” she giggled, gesturing to the table.

You felt like you were gonna die when you followed her arm and caught his eye. You shoved her arm back to her side, shaking her by her shoulders. “Nemuri, promise me, you will not say anything about my crush. Okay?”

She pouted. “Aw, but you look so sexy dolled up. You’re sure to get his attention!”

“Nemuri, please,” you begged. “Let me do it.”

Nemuri groaned. “You need to loosen up. I’m gonna get you a drink.”

She slipped from your grasp before you could stop her. You just had to trust her. But, if you were being honest, you didn’t. Not in the least. Not when she had alcohol in her system, anyway. Any other time, you trusted her with your life. 

You went back to the table. Keeping a watchful eye on Midnight. She was laughing exuberantly with the bartender. Hard to tell what she was talking about. Probably something stupid.

“You look good, by the way,” Hizashi said excitedly, pulling you out of your stupor.

You looked down at your outfit. You hardly even wore this dress. But it was good for special occasions. You smiled as you looked back at him. “Thanks. I figured I’d dust it off for tonight." 

"Drinks up!” Nemuri’s voice came from behind you. She slid the guys their drinks. Then thrust one harshly into your hands, sloshing whatever it was all down you. You sucked in a sharp breath, it was ice cold. But at least the dress was black. 

“Oh shit,” she cursed. “Sorry.”

You put your cup down, ready to go hunt down some napkins. But Shouta beat you to it. He was handing them to you before you could take a step. He was standing a little closer than he usually would. Like he was ready to protect you from whatever stupid thing Nemuri did next. 

“Here,” he uttered. Then turned to your friend. “I think you have had enough.”

“Thanks,” you muttered your whole face feeling like an inferno. You blotted the front you, glaring at Nemuri when you heard her chuckle. “I’m going to the lady’s room, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“I’ll go with -” Nemuri started.

You sent her a sharp look. “No, you stay here.”

You groaned as you made your way to the bathroom. The night was already a disaster. You tried to dry off under the hand dryer as much as possible. You felt ridiculous. You could’ve cried. When you went back you sat opposite Nemuri, who of course forced you next to Shouta. She was honestly the worst. 

“Are you okay?” Shouta asked. You were still glaring the woman across from you down, but she was just smirking.

“A little embarrassed,” you noted, shrugging. Then you looked at him. “But I’ll live. - Are you okay?”

That caught him off guard. “What?”

“I see injuries, remember? Your nose is broken. What happened?”

“It’s not a big deal. I got hit during patrols a few days ago.” He crossed his arms.

You reached your hand towards him. Then pulled back. “I can fix it. If-If you want me to mean, you don’t have to -”

Shouta shrugged. “Why not?”

You let out a breath, then gently touched his cheek with your hand. You watched the bone go back into place, then heal right up. As if it had never been broken in the first place. You gave him a little smile. “There, all fixed.”

You pulled your hand away, and Shouta reached up to feel where it healed. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you muttered, grabbing your cup. “It’s no big deal. I have a dumb quirk, but it comes in handy.”

You guzzled down whatever was in it. Trying to keep yourself from saying anything else stupid. 

“So, you got any plans now you’re graduated?” Hizashi asked. He seemed to read the awkward aura from your side of the table.

You grinned. “I’m going to go to school to be a nurse.”

Things went a little smoother after that. You all talked about jobs and plans. The heroes talked about patrolling and the things they’d done. But Nemuri kept downing one drink after another. You were surprised she was still standing. But she’d been out to dance a few times already.

Hizashi had gotten louder. Joining the dance a couple times. Even going up to sing a few karaoke songs. This left you and Shouta to mindlessly small talk. You had a feeling those two were planning something.

“So, have you ever like -” Nemuri uttered, staring you down. Both of them were back in their seats across from you. “Thought about getting married? Or having babies?”

“Of course I have,” you chuckled, rolling your eyes. “Maybe, after I’m done school, I’ll find someone and settled down. Ya know?”

Nemuri blew air through her lips. “What if they were a hero? And they were always out and getting beat up?”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Well, I’d be the best wife to have, I guess. ‘Cause I could heal you right up -”

“Hear that, Shouta?!” Nemuri practically shouted, laughing at whatever was on her mind. “You’d have yourself a personal nurse! There are all sorts of fun things you could get up to.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Nemuri -”

She groaned. “Whhaaaatttt?? I’m tired of keeping it a seecccrreeettt. Your crush on Shouta is so big, you’re basically in love with him already.”

You briefly glanced between the two before you shot out of your seat. “You are the worst.”

You made your way out of the bar into the warm summer air. You were dying inside. “God, I’m so stupid. Why did I tell her?! I knew this would happen!”

You stared out at the passing cars. Not expecting anyone to come after you. But a few minutes later, a throat cleared behind you. You were surprised when you looked over your shoulder.

“Hey, you alright?” Shouta asked, coming to stand beside you.

“Shouta, hi,” you breathed, looking up at him. “I, uh, yeah. I’m fine. Just incredibly embarrassed.”

He smiled a little. “You should know by now that she doesn’t keep secrets.”

“Yeah.” The two of you stood in silence a long moment. Just staring into the night. “Look, Shouta - if you just want to reject me now, I totally get it. I knew I never had a chance with you anyway.”

Shouta heaved a heavy sigh. But you were not prepared for the words that came next. “Your secret wasn’t the only one she outed tonight.”

“What?” You took a step back.

Shouta rolled his eyes. “You didn’t listen very well, did you?”

“I was more worried about her telling you -”

“Think about it.”

You thought for a good long minute. “The wife thing.”

He nodded. “I mentioned it in front of her once, by accident.”

Your heart fluttered so much it hurt. “Oh.”

You both were quiet for a long minute again.  

“So,” he started awkwardly. “Would you want to?”

“Would I what?” There was no way this was actually happening.

“Maybe, after nursing school, settle down. With me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh lightly. Stern faced Aizawa was standing next to you. Giving you the awkwardest confession ever. It was so cute, you just couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you giggled. “But I’m pretty sure that the marriage proposal is supposed to come after we start dating.”

He looked down at the ground. “Right…”

Gently, you put a hand on his arm. “But I would love to if you want to.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t serious.” He flicked your forehead lightly and gave you a little smile. “I have early patrols on a day coming up. Afterward, we should go out and do something.”

You nodded, unable to contain the smile on your face. “Yeah, sure, I’d like that.”

You weren’t really sure what to do. Hug him, kiss him, shake his hand. You went for the hug. Rambling quickly into his chest, “I was honestly more worried about how you react to the news than what you would say.”

You backed away, but he surprisingly kept a hand on your waist. “What was the worst that could happen?" 

You sighed. "I dunno. I thought you’d hate me. Or laugh me off. Or get up and leave. Or think my quirk was useless and not want to go out with me. - There’s a lot of things that could go wrong.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. And you have a good quirk. There aren’t many people with healing abilities.”

You were silent again. Enjoying the warmth and static now between you. You were all warm and shaky. Overall excited that this was happening. You were on cloud nine.

“Think we should go back in?” you asked, nodding towards the door.

“Let’s go in separate,” Shout suggested. “It’ll drive those two insane.”

“Hizashi knows?” You quirked a brow.

He nodded. “He’s known longer than Nemuri. And she probably told him about you. Neither of them can keep a secret.”

You two walked in separately. And he was right, it did drive those two insane. They were trying to figure out what happened. If you two had gotten together.

“Gguuuuuyyyysss, are you mad at mmmeeeeeee?!” Nemuri whined. “I’m ssooorrrrrryyyy. You two are just too cute together! And you’re lucky I’ve kept your secrets this long!!”

“What’re you complaining about, yo?! I’ve known longer than you have!” Hizashi scoffed.

“Nnnooooooo, I’ve known about his crush for two years longer than I knew about [Name]’s crush!!”

“Well I’ve known since he met her!”

Nemuri stood, her face flush with alcohol. Her hand was on her sleeve. “I’ll put you to sleep, speaker boy!”

The two spent the rest of the night arguing. Trying to figure out timelines and markers to see who really knew the longest. You knew it’d come up inconclusive. But you and Shouta sat and watched the whole utterly amused. If only they’d paid attention. The entire time you two were sneakily holding hands under the table.

~*~

[polaristranslations]

Shinobu Mustard Episode 4

028

"Kanbaru. Do you mind becoming a slave for tonight? Also, lend me your house."

"All right!"

Second slave, secured.

"Oikura. Tonight, become my slave, and cook for me."

"Don't think you'll be able to live until tonight."

Third slave, failed to secure.

The reason for that failure was most likely because I'd been a hurry and said "my slave"... Well, it wasn't like I could tell her to become the slave of a golden-haired, golden-eyed girl.

And because of her connections with Gaen-san, I couldn't exactly get Kanbaru fully involved in this either, so renting her house for one night should be good enough.

As the "citadel" of the king of oddities.

I'd heard yesterday that her grandparents were out on a trip, so Kanbaru could stay over at Higasa-chan's house or even Karen's room in the Araragi house and hold a pajama party there, while I was allowed to do whatever I liked in the meantime.

I knew it made me sound like an outlaw, but it was a decision I couldn't avoid—the only building I could think of in this town that could serve as a vampire's stronghold was Kanbaru's mansion.

Just as the death-prepared, death-inevitable, death-certain vampire, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster, had once taken up residence in the "Castle of Corpses", the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, needed a building of suitable pedigree in which to take up residence.

It was fairly Japanese-style for a castle—or rather it was just a Japanese mansion—but hopefully, this being Suicidemaster's first visit to Japan, she wouldn't be able to differentiate between castles and mansions in Japan... Not that I, a Japanese person, could.

"But no, I didn't say that just because I wanted to show off. If Suicidemaster were to learn that her former thrall who she came to visit had been rendered harmless and sealed in the shadow of a pervert—nay, human—she may close herself off entirely. We won't be able to hear a single shred of information. In the worst case, you might even be killed. Would you be fine with that?"

"No, I wouldn't, but..."

"In that case, become my slave again like you were in last year's spring break, and prepare a castle and a banquet. To make my reign more convincing. If you can secure two or three more fake thralls, then that would be great."

The slave sealed in my shadow stuck out her chest in pride and ordered me as such from the child seat.

Erm...

"So basically, you want to greet your old pal with a master-servant relationship in that sort of fashion?"

"Fashion is important in hospitality. I'm pretty strict on fashion. Like a Parisienne."

"No, rather than a Parisienne, you're more like a putting-on-airs-ienne. Respectfully speaking, Shinobu. Wouldn't a petty trick like this just be found out immediately..."

"Oh, you're already getting into it. 'Respectfully speaking', you say? Ka ka, you're an expert at acting like a slave already! Have you done this before? Wait, of course you have! Ka ka, keep it up for the real thing!"

With a loud laugh as if she'd already gotten accustomed to being the master, Shinobu sunk back into the shadows... It almost looked like she was assimilating with the child seat.

What a mess. She'd appeared as if she was going to listen to my concerns, but then she just said whatever she wanted to—however, as soon as I parked my New Beetle in the parking lot, before I went inside, it was then that I called Kanbaru, who'd been in the middle of her morning run, and Oikura, who'd been indulging in her slumber at her lodgings.

Kanbaru had eagerly agreed (it was scary how eager she was, but I decided to call her back and discuss it properly, as well as other things), while Oikura had refused (if I left her alone, she'd probably call me back, so at that point, I'll more or less apologize from the bottom of my heart... and ask for her home cooking separately).

Well, Shinobu putting on airs was the same as always.

I almost wanted to tell her to be more show-offy towards me, but considering the way she was cooperating for this case, I couldn't bluntly refuse that honesty... I had better properly inform Gaen-san about this, too.

Thinking about it, Kanbaru was the "niece of that Gaen-san", but in reverse, Gaen-san was the "aunt of that Kanbaru". What if Gaen-san casually went, "I'll do it, too! Let me be a slave, too!" after I went to her with our plans?... I didn't want to see Gaen-san like that.

What an odd family they were.

On the other hand, even though my parents were ordinary, upright public servants, why had all their children turned out like that?

Speaking of which, the fact that only the members of the girls' basketball team of Naoetsu High were being attacked could be rephrased as "only Kanbaru's juniors were being attacked", so maybe it was a good idea to think about things with her as the focal point.

Even if the gourmet Suicidemaster were only able to dine on "Princess Beauty", Kanbaru Suruga was the daughter (in other words, the direct descendant) of Gaen Tooe, who's practically talked about as if she were a legend—so for the club members that were under her influence, the possibility of them being targeted is...

Although, in that case, maybe Kanbaru herself would be targeted? Actually, it was fairly possible that that was the case—and if so, then using Kanbaru's house as a meeting place wasn't a bad idea, if only to see Suicidemaster's reaction, but Kanbaru herself should probably be kept far away.

That was what ran through my mind as I wandered around the campus of Manase University to kill time, having arrived earlier than expected (it was a fairly expansive university, and I still hadn't seen all of the campus yet. Supposedly, it would take over four years to check out all of the facilities—what was this, the British Museum?), but once it got close to 7:45 am, I knocked on the door to the lecture hall for my international linguistics class.

Although it was called "linguistics", it was different from classes on foreign languages in that it put languages from all over the world, both famous and unknown, on equal footing and compared them in detail. Ultimately, an unproductive course with no destination in sight—there were many incomprehensible courses like this in college.

But I liked that sort of incomprehensible stuff. Could this be Ougi-chan's influence?

It was a liberal arts course unusual for someone in the mathematics department to take, and it was hard to say that the course was particularly popular even taking into account how early in the morning it was, but for Meniko, whose goal was to work with codes in the future, there was no way she couldn't take this course—well, for her, international linguistics probably wasn't even an "incomprehensible course" (in exchange, Meniko was bad with normal foreign language study).

"Hola. Araragi-chan, you're ea~arly. How diligent of you~u."

"I dunno about being called early when you're here in your seat before me. Hola."

Not to mention, I planned on skipping class after this. Unfortunately (or not), today's lecture hadn't been canceled.

It seemed I'd have to borrow Meniko's notes another day—the number of favors I was asking her was increasing. Someday, I'd better do something for her in return.

I bumped fists with Meniko and sat down next to her, and then asked, "Do you mind if I asked you to decipher another code?", showing her the sequence of numbers that I had displayed on my cell phone.

"Hmm. Hmm, hmm?"

A normal person, after being asked to solve codes like these two days in a row, would find it strange and ask for my intentions before even trying, but this was Hamukai Meniko—she couldn't not solve a code that was put before her.

It was a difficult personality, but I liked that about her... It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but neither I nor my proud network of friends from high school were people that moved without some reason or purpose.

Even Hanekawa and Oshino.

And even the violent onmyouji Kagenui-san that was heading towards this town was actually a person of reason—she moved according to her own, unique logic.

As a result, there had been a time when I'd thought that people were just like that, but after becoming friends with Meniko, I came to learn that there were people who weren't like that—I'd been enlightened.

Meniko also seemed to be rather interested in the fact that I was (in a rough estimate) rather logical about things, so I suppose it was a mutual thing.

In order to maintain this relationship, I didn't dare introduce Meniko to any of my other connections, such as Oikura, even by mistake—of course, I had absolutely no intention of breaking off my connection with Oikura, who I had reconnected with after entering university, but as for her... Rather than our connection being broken off, it could be more like she herself would snap.

"A cell phone, huh. Was the code recorded in a cell phone?"

"Yep. Although I don't know if that holds any meaning..."

"That's tru~ue. These days, cell phones are like a part of our brains now, aren't they? Some people criticize the fact that when you go on a trip, you end up looking at the scenery through the small screen of your smartphone, but looking at something with the camera of your smartphone is basically the same as looking at it with your own eyes. Maybe when people complain about train passengers playing with their cell phones, it's a sign that they've failed to pair their phones with themselves?"

I hadn't exactly mastered the use of a cell phone myself, so it was hard for me to wholeheartedly agree, but, well, it wasn't like I didn't understand what she was saying.

"Anyway, this time it's only numbers, huh. Hm. I did solve it, bu~ut."

"Already? You're really the one that's early to things, aren't you. The truth is, I didn't have the slightest idea."

It wasn't like I didn't feel helpless when delegating the whole thing to Meniko, so I'd thought that I'd challenge it on my own in the period of time before I took it to her, but I'd spent most of that time on Shinobu's matter.

"It doesn't seem like putting it on a phone and not on paper really mattered? But numbers are easy to make into a code, aren't the~ey. Languages can vary from region to region, depending on grammar and culture, but numbers are worldwi~ide. No matter where in the universe you are, one plus one is two, and a prime number is a prime number, ri~ight?"

"That's not actually the case. For example, in Nepalese, the representations for '1' and '9' look similar, so when a Japanese person sees them, the math wouldn't add up at a glance. The logic would look completely wrong. Also, it's only in Japan where people use the '正' kanji to count to five, and for someone like me, the little horizontal bar used to distinguish a '7' from a '1' is enough to make me not think of it as a '7'".

"I see. For someone like me, a '7' with a horizontal bar looks kind of like the kanji for seven [七] upside down, so I end up getting those confu~used. So you're above me when it comes to that, huh, Araragi-cha~an."

There wasn't really an above or a below in this exchange, but aah, I wanted to have a conversation like this.

I suddenly realized.

When Shinobu—when Princess Acerola, as "Princess Beauty"—went about destroying countries... When she was a human, did she feel the same way as this when she met a vampire?

Even though it was a relationship of eat or be eaten.

The interpretation that they were vampire and thrall, or master and slave, was at odds with the lighthearted way in which she spoke of her as an "old pal".

She had said that she'd reflected from that time with Shishirui Seishirou, so I'd interpreted it as the master-slave relationship having been reversed, but what if it wasn't that? What if Suicidemaster really was just a "friend" to Shinobu?

Like, for example, Kanbaru and Higasa-chan.

According to Hachikuji, Suicidemaster had called Shinobu a friend as well.

A friend, huh.

There had been a fiercely determined class representative who had declared, "If I can't die for someone, I wouldn't call that person a friend". But what if Shinobu wanted to meet Suicidemaster with that in mind?

Did I have the qualification to stop her?

Talking about qualifications at this point was what made me, me—regret may always come too late, but logic always took precedence. If I ultimately acted upon my emotions, then I would most likely act too late to a disgusting extent.

I should learn a bit from my new friend.

What I wanted was not qualifications, but qualities.

"Hmm. Araragi-chan, what's the matter? Thinking about something?"

"No, I'm trying hard not to think about something. So, what's the answer to the code?"

"Like yesterday, I managed to solve it, but it's a dead-end that isn't really refreshing. Even though I managed to decode it, it just leaves me stressed aga~ain. But it ended up being letters of the alphabet aga~ain."

"Alphabet—then, 'D/V/S'?"

"No~ope. This time, it's 'F/C'."

"F/C"?

029

"If 'F/C' are also initials, I wonder if there's someone from the girls' basketball team who has those initials," said Gaen-san, the human representative of logic, after hearing my report.

We were once again in Naoetsu General Hospital, in yet another hospital room different from the three we'd been in earlier—the hospital room where Kanguu Misago-chan's mummy had been put up.

"I wonder if the message was left on a cell phone to hint at that. Since they had matching straps with their initials."

"Aah... That's right, they did have those," I said.

In that sense, I would've had more hints to decipher it than Meniko did.

It wasn't really a contest, but I did find it a bit frustrating.

"By the way, Kanguu-chan also had a strap. Since she's Kanguu Misago, it was 'M K'."

"Eh? But wait, Gaen-san. Wouldn't that mean that the vampire that we're looking for is actually among the members of the girls' basketball team?"

If, not the dying message, but the living message was indicating a specific member's initials, and Suicidemaster was being falsely accused of a crime, then that would be it.

"F C".

"Not necessarily. It could be that Kanguu-chan, in a hazy state of mind, was just trying to write the name of a friend she thought of. Or it's an act of deception to make us think that way. In other words, diversionary tactics by Suicidemaster."

A vampire trying to blame a human for their vampirism—it seemed a little narrow-minded, almost pitiful at that, and not at all in line with the image of a vampire. Well, if we can consider the possibility that the crime is being pinned on Suicidemaster, why can't we consider the opposite?

Taking it to extremes, it was even possible now that this was a diversionary tactic to make us think that everything was fabricated, like a deduction in a honkaku mystery.

Us people of logic.

"You're right. It would be too unexpected a truth for there to be a vampire among the club members."

"I don't remember explicitly denying that possibility. You can't say for sure that there aren't more oddities like you, Koyomin, that put on an air of innocence and casually attend school, right?"

"Again with the jokes."

And this was a bad joke, at that.

The phrasing of "air of innocence" felt like biting words.

"It's not entirely a joke, though. Well, this is just a brute force through all the possibilities at the moment. Like a canvassing operation done by throwing more people at the problem. It's true that, as a result of last night's events, the suspicion placed on Suicidemaster has faded. 'F C' seems like it would be fairly rare for initials, so I'm sure we'll be able to narrow it down to just a few girls out of the hundred on the basketball team..."

As she spoke, Gaen-san began flipping through the register of names borrowed from Higasa-chan, beginning her check. I'd promised not to make any copies of it, so it was the original document.

"For reference, do you mind if I ask, Koyomin? About how the code was deciphered. It's possible that the method can also provide a hint for us."

"Understood. However, I don't think it'll be very relevant."

"I'd like to hear it anyway. I may not exactly be a sciences person, but it's not like I hate number puzzles. It's a great way to exercise the mind and relax."

Relax?

Putting aside exercising the mind... She didn't really look like it, but was Gaen-san actually stressed right now? With this incident taking longer than expected, Kagenui-san drawing closer to the town with every moment, and my betrayal that must not be forgotten, well, there were plenty of things that could be cause for concern.

Well, if revealing the trick is somehow relaxing, then I'll gladly do so.

It's atonement for my infidelity.

"However, this code ended up not being a number puzzle. It had nothing to do with prime numbers, either—though it's still in the sciences, it was not mathematics, but the field of natural sciences."

"Natural sciences? If we're talking about fields, in middle school, they'd divide the natural sciences into the 'first field' for physics and chemistry, and the 'second field' for biology and geology."

"In that respect, it would be the first field—Celsius and Fahrenheit."

In other words, temperature notation.

Like numbers, temperature was the same throughout the world, or perhaps even throughout the universe, and high temperatures were high, low temperatures were low, and absolute zero was absolute zero—but temperature wasn't notated in the same way everywhere. The units differed.

And that difference was Celsius and Fahrenheit.

"Ah—that's why it's 'F' and 'C'?"

As expected of a logical person, she caught on fast. After speaking, Gaen-san flipped the register shut—it seemed she'd finished checking it all.

She was even fast at reading.

"But how does '820/280/610/160' become Celsius and Fahrenheit? Although, since Celsius is 'C' and Fahrenheit is 'F', perhaps I should ask how it becomes Fahrenheit and Celsius."

"For both Celsius and Fahrenheit, a '°' is placed in the top right direction to denote 'degrees'. In the same place where you would write an exponent."

"Do an explanation like that for a science major. I got it just from you saying 'in the top right direction'—don't go off in a completely different direction, Koyomin. And?"

"We look at the '0' in the code and interpret it as a '°'—basically, the '0' in '820', the '0' in '280', the '0' in '610', and the '0' in '160', all the zeroes at the end of the numbers, should not be taken as numbers but as symbols. Then, '820/280/610/160' becomes '82°/28°/61°/16°'."

"Aha. Highest and lowest temperatures, huh?"

That was exactly it.

The code that had been left behind was showing yesterday's temperature, represented in both Celsius and Fahrenheit—just like the Rosetta Stone, which could be described as the originator of cryptanalysis.

However, the essential letters of the alphabet were missing—"F" and "C".

"That's why, 'F/C' becomes the deciphered text to the code. Oh, but if they're initials, you can't really call that a text. But I see. It's amazing that someone could come up with something like that."

"Yes. Checking the daily high and low temperatures may be natural for an athletic person, but even then, I don't think they would have been able to come up with that in their hazy state of mind."

"No, my intention was to praise your friend, Koyomin."

It would be a bit troublesome if you show too much interest in her.

If you point your finger at her.

This was entirely my own self-interest, but I'd like to settle this case before I needed to ask for help with a third code...

But after relying on Hachikuji and getting Shinobu's cooperation and borrowing Kanbaru's house, I'd strayed pretty far from what I'd originally intended, so maybe next time I'd just give up and go to Ougi-chan for help with the cryptanalysis... Although, that girl likes to be befuddling, so she definitely wouldn't just give me the answer straight up like Meniko.

She was also a person of logic. A mysterious form of logic.

But anyway, let's return to the main subject.

For the sake of protecting Meniko, and for the sake of resolving this case.

"But anyway, how many people in the girls' basketball club have the initials 'F C'? Although we'd probably need to check whether that girl has a strap or not..."

Since the first mummy, Harimaze Kie-chan, didn't have a strap on her phone, it wasn't a given that everyone had a matching strap. Perhaps, within the club, that small level of resistance against peer pressure was allowed.

"There were as much as zero people."

"Eh? What did you say?"

"Sorry, that was a weird way to put it. Zero. There were none, is what I meant. Girls with 'F C' as their initials, that is."

030

"Have you looked for the reverse order? You know, when representing the name of a Japanese person, there's the pattern of 'first/last name' and 'last/first name'."

"Of course. There were none like that, either."

Could Meniko's solution have been wrong?

No, there was no way.

"I wonder if we should expand the range of possibilities. Should we include the third-years that have already retired as candidates?"

"Umm..."

It wasn't impossible to ask Higasa-chan through Kanbaru for a list of the OG members, but I wasn't sure. If we expanded it that far, it felt like the possibilities would be endless.

It didn't seem too productive to force the solution into the initials 'F C' and look for a person that matched, either... Rare as the initials might be, it wasn't like there was nobody with those initials.

"We did figure out that the victims were members of the girls' basketball team using the straps as the hint, but like with 'D/V/S', maybe there's a famous vampire with those initials?"

"The vampires here are from overseas, after all. It's normal to add a middle name... It's unnatural to have initials with just two letters."

"Is that so..."

I'd ended up bothering Meniko with this (though she'd been happy about it) and I'd ended up skipping class (though I probably would have skipped class anyway), but it didn't end up being that much of a hint... Well, even Oshino had said that fieldwork was a cycle of futility.

It was important not to dwell on it.

"By the way, Gaen-san. You don't seem to be in that good of a mood, so is it possible that you received more unpleasant news while I was out?"

"Hm? Did it seem that way to you? I was trying to act calm about it, but this onee-san that knows everything must be losing face to receive your concern, Koyomin. Even though I want to be an onee-san you can always rely on."

"No, no. Gaen-san, you're always an older woman that I can rely on..."

"I'm not trying to be a dependable older woman. No, but anyway, Koyomin. Your worries were right on the mark. The contents of a high school girl's cell phone weren't something we should have looked at."

And the fact that it hasn't produced any good results so far is nearly breaking my heart, said Gaen-san as she laid eyes upon the mummy on the bed—the owner of the cell phone, Kanguu Misago-chan.

Having been made to wear a patient gown and laid to rest on the bed... I didn't want to say I was getting familiar with the sight, but I was getting used to it.

When humans become nothing but skin and bones, it's hard to distinguish between them—their height became ambiguous when laid down, and since they were in a sports club, their hair was fairly short, so it was hard to distinguish them that way, too.

Kanbaru had also had a short haircut when she'd been active... Don't tell me it wasn't just because they were in a sports club, but because they were following after Kanbaru...?

Everyone doing the same thing... Hm?

"Even so, this onee-san won't be surprised any more. Seriously, after being shown the ugly side of human relations, I won't even be scared of vampires."

"Being shown? Gaen-san, you're the one who went and looked at it yourself."

"And I have nothing to say in response to that. They say you're not supposed to check your partner's phone, and that's completely true. If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

What was in that phone, exactly?

Honestly, if she said it like that, it made me even more curious... However, it probably was better to not ask. For the sake of respecting their privacy, and for the sake of my own health... If Gaen-san ended up like that, I might even end up hospitalized as a result.

And if it wasn't producing any good results, then all the more reason not to.

"Well, I suppose the girls' basketball team is pretty unique. If this sort of thing was commonplace... Well, it's not something I want to think about, as an adult. Their club activities are certainly strange. It felt like they were bullying themselves."

"But aren't all athletic clubs more or less like that? Even more so if you're a powerhouse."

Or rather, a former powerhouse. In the case of Naoetsu High.

Of course, that may have intensified that athletic mindset...

"Mm. I've always had a commander-like nature since I was in high school, but even then, I was still pretty incompatible with those sports-minded people."

"So there was a time when you were a high school girl, Gaen-san."

"It's not like this onee-san was always an onee-san from the moment she was born. Or an older woman."

"That wasn't what I meant... But even so, the hardest person to imagine as a high school girl would probably be Kagenui-san."

She didn't seem like she would be in the liberal arts or the sciences, or in a cultural club or a sports club... What kind of high school girl would she have been?

"That girl was actually a surprisingly diligent student. Although I only knew her as a college student, not a high school student. She's the only one from that trio to graduate without dropping out."

Is that so.

Human beings really couldn't be described one-sidedly, huh.

"Oh nooo. While I carelessly stepped into a colony of high school girls and got my feet stuck in a murky, bottomless swamp, Kagenui will probably arri~ive!"

Even if you lament the word "arri~ive" all cutely like that, that in itself seemed more lamentable.

Please remain a reliable older woman.

"It may be fine for me to think this way, but Gaen-san, aren't you being a little too cautious regarding your junior? She may be a bit uncontrollable, but it's not like she completely ignores the orders you give her, right?"

In the first place, Kagenui-san was coming all the way back from the North Pole because she was called by Gaen-san—plus, if she were truly uncontrollable, she would've ignored any sort of harmless certification and gotten rid of Shinobu and me.

Though she was infinitely violent, that was just a matter of the way she did things, and it should be possible to talk things out—she was a person of logic, too.

"That's right. It's true that, if I explain the circumstances, she might understand the reasoning behind why it's not necessary to exterminate Suicidemaster. It might even be possible to certify her as harmless, with how much of a little girl she's become."

Even while stuck in a bottomless swamp of high school girls, it seemed she'd long since considered the things I'd thought of, with the way she spoke.

"Yes. In fact, as soon as I'd heard that Suicidemaster had broken through Hachikuji-chan's mayoi-ushi barrier, those thoughts had already crossed my mind. It wasn't that Suicidemaster had broken through the barrier with brute force, but simply that she had been weakened to the point that the barrier didn't even react."

"......"

Was that even possible?

It sounded pretty painful and distressing, considering that she was the progenitor who birthed and named the legendary oddity.

"Even in that state, she should still be able to suck the blood of high school girls, so just by being in this town, nothing has changed regarding her being the prime suspect. However, the reason she became a mummy might not be because she was attacked by someone, but because she'd weakened to the point that she entered cryptobiosis by herself."

"In that case, would that mean she was the one to bury herself in the mountain?"

"Yes, it would be safer in the dirt, after all. The cryptobiotic-sleep, hibernation-sleep, dozing-sleep vampire. In that case, perhaps she was attempting to make her way back to Hachikuji-chan who was in charge of immigration control, and collapsed along the way. Well, we're still just brute forcing the possibilities here—the strongest possibility is still that she grew so hungry that she attacked a high school girl, but for now, we can apply the principle of innocent until proven guilty. But the problem is, that won't work on Kagenui."

"...Why is that?"

She sure was stubborn in a weird way.

In a sense, she was pretty laid-back to even put her faith in someone like me, but right now, Gaen-san was being weirdly obstinate in regards to Kagenui-san.

"Well, this is just between us, but they share a bit of a past. The problem at hand, Suicidemaster, and the even bigger problem, Kagenui."

"The problem—and the bigger problem."

"Even if Suicidemaster happened to not be the culprit for this case, and even if it's possible for her to be certified as harmless after not having harmed a human for the past six hundred years—even then, they share a past that makes it impossible to stop Kagenui. Though justice is the only thing that can put that unorthodox onmyouji in check, she's very likely to move out of a personal grudge for this time alone."

G—grudge?

That bundle of justice?

"If I make the wrong move, I may find myself having to excommunicate yet another junior. And I don't want to do that."

031

Kagenui-san's personal grudge probably wasn't something that other people should be prying into, so let's return to the main subject. Although the main subject was a ghost story with intense pressure. But anyway, back to the main subject.

The risk of intruding into her private life had been clearly demonstrated, and Gaen-san, who had hinted at it, didn't dare tell me the details of her past—perhaps she'd let it slip after being embroiled in the high school girls' darkness.

Speaking of being embroiled, it seemed that the reason Gaen-san associated the initials "F C" with the members of the girls' basketball team was not only because of the alphabet strap, but because she'd looked into the darkness of the club displayed on Kanguu Misago-chan's cell phone and had been influenced by it (it seemed she even considered the possibility that, in her dazed state, Kanguu-chan thought she could pin the crime on a team member that she had some friction with). But in the register, there was no one with those initials—and, as long as there was no initial for a middle name included, it likely wasn't the vampire's signature, either.

Before expanding our reach to the OG girls, one more possibility came to my mind.

"What if these aren't initials, but an abbreviation for something in English?"

"Abbreviation? ...In other words, something other than a person's name?"

Normally, Gaen-san would have come up with something in an instant, but at the moment, she'd been caught up in the murky mires of those high school girls... And it could be even more damaging to her as an adult.

I've learned that the private life of others is nothing but poison.

"It probably isn't 'franchise (FC)'—then maybe it's something like 'football club (FC)'?"

It seemed appropriate.

First a basketball club, now a football club.

It also wasn't impossible to interpret it as a franchise of making vampire thralls, forced as it was—but there was no need to twist it that much.

But before we went to Naoetsu High's soccer team, we couldn't forget the other organization in that high school that we should consider.

"'Fan club (FC)'."

"Hm?"

"There was something like that. In the past—well, it wasn't that far in the past—an unofficial fan club for the superstar Kanbaru Suruga."

It was an organization separate from the girls' basketball team, yet was an organization that was strongly influenced by Kanbaru, in a way different from the girls' basketball team.

It was something that came to mind after thinking that all the mummies' hairstyles were the same—let's see, as I recall, that fan club's name was "Kanbaru Soeurs"?

"What's that? Is it something like the Rukawa Kaede Imperial Guard?"

"Exactly. But somehow they ended up getting involved with me and I forced them into disbanding—"

"That's something really scary you're saying as just an introduction, Koyomin. Forced them into disbanding. You really are a delinquent like the rumors say, aren'tcha?"

"I think the remnants of that fan club could be related to this case."

As much as the hypothesis that there was a vampire among the girls' basketball team members was incredible to believe, the possibility that there was a vampire mixed in with Kanbaru Suruga's fan club was just as ridiculous.

But we weren't in a situation where we could afford not to consider ridiculous possibilities just because they were ridiculous.

"That's a fact that this onee-san that knows everything didn't exactly need to know. Ah, yes, but my dear sister had a cheerleading squad like that when she was in high school, too."

"It doesn’t seem like it will have much of a connection, but I suppose I should do something now that I've thought of it. She wasn't a member of the fan club herself, but my little sister is pretty close with that organization, so I'll look into it just a teeny bit."

"Your little sister?"

I looked at Gaen-san's clouded expression.

"My little sister (the bigger one)," I amended.

After hearing that, Gaen-san seemed to relax, smiling.

"You mean Karen-chan. Okay, do as you see fit. But, out of concern—from this old lady's point of view—please don't bring Tsukihi-chan into this. Of course, Koyomin, you were originally the one who said you didn't want to cause trouble for your family, but even discounting the thing with Yozuru, things that go well just don't go well when Tsukihi-chan is involved."

She's talking about you in a pretty amazing way, my little sister (the smaller one).

"And, I apologize for the late report, but Shinobu laid out some conditions for her cooperation in Suicidemaster's interrogation."

I presented an outline of the master-servant reversal to Gaen-san. Even though the plan seemed like it would be laughable regardless of the time, place, or occasion...

"Right, that sounds good."

I received the commander's approval.

Of course, she didn't say anything like "I'll do it, too! Let me be a slave, too!"

"Although, rather than an interrogation, it's practically an undercover operation at this point—but if Suicidemaster mistakenly sees that Shinobu-chan is doing well in this country, then she might end up chattering away without any caution."

Mistakenly. Well, she would certainly be mistaken.

Rather than "doing well", she'd been on the verge of being exterminated, on the verge of being killed, and on the verge of death, and in the end failed to die, turned into a little girl, and then ended up sealed in a teenager's shadow.

At any rate, seeing as I'd gotten the go-ahead to put the plan into action, it was inevitable—I wasn't sure if I could pull off the part of a slave, but I would do what I could.

"In that case, even if it didn't have to do with the fan club, I figure I should have a proper discussion with Kanbaru about this, but is there anything I should be careful about when talking to her? The situation has completely changed from yesterday."

"Something to be careful about... I'd like if you could avoid the storm entirely. I know you might feel a sense of duty, but don't go poking your nose into the murky depths of your juniors."

Her advice was not as a specialist but as a person with more seniority in life, but I wanted Kanbaru, too, to follow these words of Gaen-san, who was called a senior by various people.

Even if I couldn't mention Gaen-san's name.

Even if I doubted that Kanbaru would actually follow them.

"I'll stay at this hospital and do my best with the cell phone analysis while waiting for a report from the search party and preparing for the night."

"I'll meet up with Karen-chan and Kanbaru, and if I have some spare time I'll go drop in on Oikura."

"Putting aside your childhood friend, when it comes to your little sister and Suruga, there's no need to wait up until they come back from school. Koyomin, I think you should go back home at least once for a nap. Though I know all-nighters aren't hard on you thanks to your vampire constitution, you must still be at your limit, right?"

That was true.

Thinking about it, vampires, being nocturnal, did go to sleep in the daytime... Just as Shinobu was doing right now.

The truth was, I'd been working out a plan to drop in on Oikura's place until school let out for the day, but it seemed I'd have to abandon that idea.

Even sleeping was work.

Well, if it was around this time, that mathematics maniac was probably in class, too...

"Ah. I know. I'll split the difference and go to Oikura's place to sleep. I have a spare key, after all."

"Childhood friendships are pretty hard for other people to pry into, huh."

032

I decided to just go to my own home. Of course I needed to catch up on sleep, but I wanted to take a bath, too. Alas, I didn't have any clothes to change into at Oikura's place. I'll do something about that later.

Afterwards, I thought about saying thanks to Ononoki-chan for last night—since I'd left in a hurry, I hadn't been able to talk to her about how she relayed Hachikuji's message to me, or how she called over Gaen-san to the mountain after that.

From Ononoki-chan's point of view, I'd gotten a fortune slip and left all of a sudden, and then decided to go to hell—I probably seemed pretty weird to her... I couldn't bear being thought of as a weird guy by Ononoki-chan.

With both parents working, the first daughter a high schooler, and the second daughter a middle schooler, the Araragi house was generally empty in the daytime—I would be able to speak to Ononoki-chan, who'd infiltrated the house as a stuffed doll, without reservations.

It was one thing to give my thanks, but I figured I may as well tell her that Kagenui-san was approaching this town like a hurricane—for Gaen-san and me, it was an approach that was currently fairly inconvenient, but it could be good news for Ononoki-chan, who idolizes (?) Kagenui-san as an "onee-chan".

Because Ononoki-chan was busy with something else, she wasn't participating in this incident, but it wasn't like she was intentionally left out of the loop, unlike Shinobu until she found out—if the conversation went well, perhaps I'd be able to learn about the past between Suicidemaster and Kagenui-san, which I had failed to ask about, or rather, which I had wanted to hear but didn't want to hear.

Perhaps those ulterior motives led to my ruin, for when I arrived home, it was not just my parents and sisters but also that expressionless, frilly-dressed stuffed doll that was absent.

It seemed that young girl was even busier than public servants and middle school students, though not college students.

Well, I'd like to hear as much as what she had to say, but I didn't think it was a past that I wanted to dig into myself... If anything, maybe what I should be doing is to let the foreshadowing die so that her past doesn't get revealed?

Araragi Koyomi, killing the foreshadowing.

With that, feeling a mix of disappointment and relief, I took a shower and crawled into bed.

It seemed I'd been more tired than I realized (perhaps out of worry, too), so I slept soundly until the afternoon, waking only to the sound of Karen's return—despite her training in martial arts, she was a lot noisier in her movements, so it was easy to hear.

"Yo, Karen-chan. By the way, I wanted to ask about Kanbaru's fan club."

"That's way too direct. I haven't even taken off my shoes yet! At least welcome me back. You gotta have some sort of introduction before starting off the main topic with a 'by the way'. What happened?"

Araragi Karen. 16 years old.

She was super tall. My bigger little sister.

Tsuganoki Private High School first-year. She did not take part in any clubs, and continued to attend a martial arts dojo—something like that.

Also, her hairstyle returned to a ponytail.

"Kanbaru-sensei's fan club? Ah, aah. The one that nii-chan smashed up, huh."

"If I didn't break them up, they would've broken me. Just remembering it now, it's super scary."

The fact that she was still calling her Kanbaru-sensei was pretty considerable, but then again, the way Karen yearned for Kanbaru was... pretty unique.

I couldn't exactly give a thorough explanation of the circumstances, so I simply said, "Have you heard anything about, say, them having resumed activities?" and continued the conversation without explaining my reasons.

"Mmm. No, I don't think they have. When an organization like that comes apart once, it's pretty hard to reorganize."

"Is that so?"

"The crux, Kanbaru-sensei, retired, after all. Fans easily heat up and easily cool down."

I see... I guess it was like that.

Just as Karen said, if Kanbaru had continued to be active, then perhaps the fan club could have been passed down to the next generation, but now that the target of their admiration had retired, it was probably hard to gather new members.

And Kanbaru herself wasn't the kind of person that liked attracting that kind of attention, too—I had to admit I felt a bit elated at the inspiration of reading the deciphered code "F/C" as fan club... But I guess it wasn't that easy.

When comparing the girls' basketball team, of which Kanbaru had been a member, with the fan club, which was unofficial and separate... The quality was certainly different—if it became a fan club full of stoicism that could enforce ironclad laws without the actual person in question, it would be one of the best in Japan.

If only it had been "C/F", then it could at least have been read as "center forward", a basketball position...

Well, whether the culprit was in the girls' basketball team or in the fan club, it didn't change the reality that the vampire might be nonchalantly attending Naoetsu High—if that was even possible.

Of course, even though Gaen-san had been trying to implicate me, there were quite a few students that had gotten entangled with oddities, like Senjougahara Hitagi, Hanekawa Tsubasa, Kanbaru Suruga, or Oshino Ougi.

Well, a high school girl being a vampire did make for a prettier picture than a high school boy being a vampire—oh yeah.

"Karen-chan. You're a high school girl now, right?"

"What's with that, all of a sudden? But, that's right. I've become able to get married."

"That's not because you're a high school girl, it's because you've turned 16 years old. If anything, you've gotten harder to marry. Especially for me."

"Nii-chan, for you I'm the most difficult person in the world to marry. I'm your little sister!"

"How does it feel to be a high school girl? Is everything going well with your new friends?"

Regrettably, I pretended to be an overprotective older brother and started a survey to try and collect some live opinions—could even Karen be mired in the murky depths that had been a downer for the easygoing Gaen-san?

"I dunno what sort of school life you mean by 'going well', but this new world is pretty fun. I almost want to go to school on the weekends, too."

That's pretty insane.

But that's true, it's not like all high school girls have a dark side to them. There are individual differences, and it depends on the environment and the situation.

To put it in a good way, Karen's personality was endlessly bright, and to put it in a bad way, she was endlessly idiotic, but that wasn't just it—when surrounded by a stiff atmosphere, even the brightest idiot would lose some of that excitement. However, Karen was a follower of Kanbaru—

"—Oh yeah. Can I ask one more thing, Karen-chan?"

"What is it now? Today, it's all questions and no groping my boobs, huh."

"Don't talk like groping your boobs is a regular occurrence. I'm not going to touch them. This year."

"It was a problem when you've been touching them for the last year. Touching a girl's boobs like you were kneading clay. And? What's the question you were gonna ask?"

"You know the Fire Sisters, that you and Tsukihi-chan were a part of? You guys disbanded after you graduated, right? What happened after that?"

"Whaddya mean what happened. I told you, didn't I? Now, Tsukihi-chan's working hard on her own as Moon Fire."

I may have heard that before, but regrettably, the information she had on her sister was a bit vague.

Not that I could speak for others, considering I was the same way when it came to that sister.

What I wanted to ask was how the community of Tsuganoki 2nd Middle School changed after Karen, the mainstay and core of the school, left, like with the girls' basketball team—wasn't there anything like a war to be the replacement for Tsukihi's partner, or any sort of factional strife?

"Oh, for that, Tsukihi-chan, as the staff officer, handled it pretty well. For better or worse, Tsukihi-chan thinks she's so special that she doesn't expect anyone else, including me, to be able to imitate her."

I see. I'd been worried about my youngest sister's (excessive) self-consciousness, but that was an insight.

As is often the case with hard-working superstars, Kanbaru's self-esteem was quite low, and she had a tendency to believe that "anyone can do what I can do if they work hard enough"—that was something I could appreciate from a human perspective. However, if someone that was charismatic on a national level said such empty words as "if you work hard, your dreams will come true", then it would lead to a generation of people that actually buy into it.

Even though it wasn't Kanbaru's fault, the current state of the girls' basketball team was probably a climate formed by such a belief in hard work.

If I had to say it, when Kanbaru retired from the club because of her left arm, she should've picked a proper successor instead of leaving everything to Higasa-chan—though it was useless to say that now.

"Tsukihi-chan is basically a 'wasted effort is wasted' kind of girl. She'll say stuff like, 'Instead of hard work, just do what needs to be done!' 'If you put in wasted effort, you'll get even farther away from your dreams!'"

"I can't say that leaves a good impression..."

"She'd always insist, 'Find a way to make yourself a lucky boy or Cinderella girl!'"

"Tsukihi-chan probably shouldn't publish any business books. Speaking of which, it worries me that Tsukihi-chan, a middle school student, is coming home later than you, a high school student. Rub rub. What in the world is Moon Fire up to now that she's gone independent?"

"I dunno either. Rather than being independent, Tsukihi-chan's always been a dependent person with an independent spirit. Nii-chan, what were those rubbing sound effects you tried to mix in for the first time this year, without even trying to get them lost in the confusion? And I've heard rumors that you were helping out a magical girl, but how much of that is true?"

"Hmm."

Especially with Kagenui-san's return, I wanted Tsukihi to stay quiet, but she wasn't exactly the kind of sister that listened to her brother.

If I'd been able to talk with Ononoki-chan, I could've asked for her to do something about that... Rather than worry, it made me a little anxious.

Being a big brother was a lifetime job.

"Then, Karen-chan. I'm going to leave the house now, and I don't think I'll be coming back today, so in the meantime, watch over Tsukihi-chan carefully, all right?"

"You mean, today also, right? College students shouldn't be so flashy with their playing around at night. Your new life is an important time for you, too, nii-chan. I don't want to see you get burned like you did when you became a high schooler."

"Those are useful words. Worthy of engraving onto a chest."

"Don't engrave them on my chest!"

033

My fearless (of even a god) strategy to get Hachikuji to sit in the child seat ended in failure.

In transporting the ancient vampire from the Kitashirahebi Shrine to Kanbaru's house while waiting for her awakening (sunset), I'd proposed the formation of putting Hachikuji in the passenger seat and Suicidemaster in the back seat, but considering the size of the target of transportation, I was defeated by the logic that it would be legally safer to secure Suicidemaster, a six-year-old girl, in the child seat.

Well, considering that, in terms of outward appearance, Hachikuji was fixed in the form of a ten-year-old in fifth grade, it was already kind of impossible to fit her in a child seat—and Hachikuji was fairly grown for a ten-year-old. Over the past year, I'd directly felt her measurements with my own hands, so this was for certain. Of course, if the child seat itself were to break, it would be the end of everything.

It was a child seat I hoped to use for many years to come.

However, I'd been worried that Suicidemaster would suddenly go berserk in the middle of the day after being taken out of the shrine and lowered from the sacred mountain, so I consulted with Gaen-san on the phone and ended up applying further seals before securing her in the child seat.

The seals that Hachikuji applied as instructed by Gaen-san were, in simple terms, a blindfold and shackles on her arms and legs, but the image of a blindfolded, shackled little girl in white clothes fastened to a child seat honestly did not make me feel the slightest bit of safety in the legal sense.

If I were to go through police questioning, it wouldn't just end with my license being revoked.

My life would be revoked. Societally.

"A~ah. It was fairly controversial for Araragi-san, who loved his bicycle, to start riding around in a car, but I have to admit that the mobility of a car is certainly different. You can go all over the place, in every direction!"

Hachikuji herself seemed rather happy-go-lucky from the back seat—incidentally, she was in outing mode, which meant she'd changed from her white clothing to her clothes for an outing through the town, with her rucksack on her back.

She was sitting backwards, looking out the rear window, and flapping her legs—was it like a field trip for her?

"Hachikuji. Did your daytime stroll have any results? If you went around looking but couldn't find it, then that would mean the fifth mummy has yet to be made—maybe?"

"I'm not sure. If my godly eyes were able to reach every corner of this town without any problems, you could say this incident would not have happened in the first place. Although it's not that I regret allowing Suicidemaster-san to pass through without security."

"Well, sure."

From Hachikuji's point of view, she might even be a lifesaver—upon Suicidemaster-chan's arrival in Japan, it wouldn't have been odd if she had trampled Hachikuji underfoot, mountain and all.

Even though she was a god, our Hachiku-jin wasn't all-powerful—even in her weakened state, it could be possible for Suicidemaster to defeat even an athletic high school girl in a single blow.

"Hachiku-jin? Please stop. Don't give me a weird nickname. It seems your respect for gods is lacking, you know?"

Hachikuji did a half-turn and took her seat in the normal position.

"I knew that, with the case of Shishirui Seishirou-san, Shinobu-san had messed up twice, after all. I hoped that this could be an opportunity to wipe away that irreversible trauma—although, it would be a lie to say that I wasn't worried about letting Suicidemaster-san meet Shinobu-san, who was currently practically enslaved by a human."

That's why I'm all for the master-servant reversal, said Hachikuji.

"Although, I think it would be better to be honest about it afterwards. It would be sad to lose a friendship because of vanity. When I was alive, there was a boy in my class that I was close to, but because I'd been too vain—"

"Let's save that story for another time, Hachikuji. When Gaen-san called earlier and taught us about the sealing methods, I tried probing a bit, but it doesn't seem like they've found the fifth mummy yet."

"You seem way too uninterested in my flashback scene, Araragi-san."

"The analysis of the cell phone is still in progress, but it doesn't seem like there's any traces of her having made a call or sent a text or used an app since Kanguu-chan went missing, so it's hard to pin down the time of the crime. In other words, we still don't have proof of Suicidemaster's alibi."

I glanced at the little girl in the passenger seat.

The golden-haired little girl fixed in the child seat, in white clothing, blindfolded, arms and legs shackled.

"Is that so? Well, my credibility is at stake, too. I'll cooperate to the full extent of my power. Is it fine if I pretend to be a slave, too? Uhehehe."

"You sound less like a vampire's slave and more like a slave to money. Mm, I've thought about it, but..."

"So you've thought about it? Turning Hachikuji Mayoi into a slave?"

"But ultimately, a vampire's slave should be at least a little vampiric, or the lie will be found out. If it were Ononoki-chan, I may have just barely asked her to, but she's on bad terms with Shinobu. Plus, she's away at the moment, so it seems I'll have to be the only slave. If anything, Hachikuji, you can act as the local deity and be a guarantor for the relationship between Shinobu and me."

Not a bondsman, but a bondsgod.

It seemed rather apt.

Just as we were about to arrive at Kanbaru's house, the cell phone that I had left in the cup holder between the driver and passenger seats buzzed. This time, a call from Gaen-san—had the fifth mummy, Kiseki-chan's mummy, finally been discovered?

I felt slightly nervous, but I was driving, after all, so there was no way I could be the one to pick it up.

I'll leave it to my secretary.

"Who are you calling your secretary? Yes, hello? This is Hachikuji."

Seems like you've taken a liking to it.

"Araragi is currently driving. Yes. Yes. —Yes, I see. Understood. I'll let him know."

Finishing up the short phone call, Hachikuji returned the cell phone to its original position.

"What was it. Did we make any progress?"

"Rather than progress, it's more like we've fallen backwards."

That was Hachikuji's response.

"Putting aside the 'F C' initials, it seems they've completed their brute-force investigation of the remaining members of the girls' basketball team who were on the register, but everyone has been confirmed to be safe."

Everyone was confirmed to be safe?

"Isn't that a good thing? It's the first good news we've heard in a while. What's so backward about good news that's really worth celebrating?"

"The fact that they're safe means that they're also innocent—the results of the investigation made it clear that there is no vampire among the remaining members of the basketball team."

Back to square one.

034

The girls' basketball team members were cleared of suspicion, the fan club was also cleared of suspicion, and there were no signs of another vampire that could be associated with "F/C".

With this, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster wasn't just the prime suspect, she was the only suspect—the only reason that could lead me to believe that she was innocent would be Shinobu's testimony that "Suicidemaster, whose diet is unbalanced to the point of refusing food, would never suck the blood of an immature high school girl".

Tonight's interrogation was becoming increasingly important—it wasn't an exaggeration to say that everything depended on my ability to act as a slave.

I never thought that I would get the opportunity to become a slave to a little girl and deceive another little girl, but I guess I never really know where life will go.

There were many things that made me think that my high school years were the peak of my life, but as I lived on, there were many more interesting things occurring.

And with that, a greeting to my sponsor, Kanbaru.

The sealed little girl and the deified girl had been left in the New Beetle parked in the parking lot of Kanbaru's home—of course, I'd made sure the air conditioner was left on. It certainly wouldn't do if I left two children in a car and came back to find that they'd been mummified.

"Hiya, Araragi-senpai. We only just saw each other yesterday, but it feels like it's been so long ago."

"It hasn't been that long!"

"Yes, now here, the key to the house. Use it however you like."

I figured it was impossible for an ordinary person to imitate this sort of openness—if you tried too hard to act simple, you'd crumble under the stress.

However, they say a person is only as unhappy as the number of keys they have... I wonder how many keys I will have in my lifetime.

"Tonight, we decided to hold a pajama party at Higasa's place. If you've made any progress with the matter from yesterday, I can pass it onto her."

It wasn't progress, but falling backwards.

But it was a bit hard to say that.

However, I couldn't turn back now, and I was committed to it—I wasn't going to pretend that I didn't know anything about the girls' basketball team now.

Regardless of the outcome of this case, I should work together with Kanbaru and Higasa to come up with a plan to reform, or perhaps break down, the current situation. Without going against Gaen-san. She'd called it a pajama party, but it seemed it was actually a gathering of the OGs of the girls' basketball team to brainstorm about the current situation of the younger team members...

This had nothing to do with Karen's remarks, but as a former near-dropout of that high school, I couldn't just leave behind the students that seemed like they would drop out. Even if it was odd to speak of me, who nearly dropped out on my own, and the club members, who were about to drop out because of their stranglehold from club activities, in the same breath.

"Oh yeah, Kanbaru. When you ended up reuniting with Hitagi-san, the senior that you yearned for, at Naoetsu High, what kind of airs did you put on?"

"Airs? What do you mean by that?"

Of course.

Even if the person she was talking to was a senior she admired, she wasn't the type to pretend to be something that she wasn't—she was the type of person to charge in just as she was. If anything, it was maybe Hitagi-san that was likely to put on airs at the time.

Or display her stubbornness.

As a result, it would end up taking over a year before Senjougahara Hitagi and Kanbaru Suruga, the Valhalla Combination, would reunite.

"Huh. You're talking as if you're looking for wisdom in regards to Shinobu-chan reuniting with an old acquaintance!"

"I didn't talk like that!"

I didn't even bring up Shinobu's name!

She certainly was Gaen-san's niece, and I couldn't let down my guard—if I let something slip, this capable junior might decide to get involved all on her own.

She might decide to pretend to be a slave all on her own.

As someone who felt badly about the fact that I'd gotten her involved in the case of Shishirui Seishirou because of my own personal circumstances, this was a situation I wanted to avoid.

I needed to make up some reason to change the subject and get rid of her as soon as possible.

"Oh yeah, Kanbaru."

"Araragi-senpai, you sure come up with things frequently, don't you. What is it?"

"There's one more thing I wanted to ask of you—"

035

Though we'd settled on Kanbaru's place for our choice of location, it would be effectively impossible to clean up my junior's disastrously messy room before sunset, and, even if she'd told me to use the house however I liked, it certainly wouldn't do to infringe upon the territory of her grandfather and grandmother, so we ultimately decided upon using the Japanese mansion's garden for the revival of Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster.

Much like at Ryōan-ji, it was a Japanese rock garden.

Well, even if it was a measure of desperation, the mansion gave off much more of a castle-like impression when viewed from outside rather than being inside.

Yesterday, it had felt like I'd greeted nightfall feeling like I'd run out of time without doing everything I had to do, but today, it felt like I'd done everything I could and was greeting the night having run out of material. Now, I wonder what will happen?

"Thanks for waiting. So, shall we begin?"

At the moment the sun had set about halfway, Gaen-san appeared with a one shou bottle—the ones to welcome her were me; Shinobu, who had woken up early and crawled out of my shadow; Hachiku-jin, our witness; and Suicidemaster, who had been laid down—it seemed a little too pitiful to lay a restrained little girl on the bare ground, so I'd put down a rush mat (I'd found the rush mat in Kanbaru's room—why did she have something like that?).

All the actors were in place.

The show must go on.

"I've set up a barrier going all the way around the mansion, so if by some chance a battle breaks out, we'll be fine."

"That 'some chance' is what I'd like to avoid... But, Gaen-san. What's with that bottle?"

"Well, I am a specialist, after all. Wine would be better for vampires, but I figured we could do this the Japanese way, with sacred sake for a demon."

I guess I couldn't rely on crosses and holy water in a Japanese mansion with a shrine's god present... Her behavior was as if she'd come to a late-night drinking party, but in this Japanese mansion it held an air of sophistication.

"You should've come in full dress, then."

"Did you want to see me in shrine maiden's clothes, Koyomin? Unfortunately, I don't respect formalities and ceremonies as much as Meme does. I may be a pacifist, but at the same time, I'm a rationalist."

Indeed, now that I thought about it, that careless-seeming middle-aged Hawaiian shirt guy was surprisingly pretty picky about arrangements and whatnot to the point of irrationality... And looking closely, Gaen-san's bottle was just a bottle of cheap sake from a discount store... It was a bit difficult to call that sacred sake.

I guess it's the Gaen way to push through what's difficult.

"Goodness, I never thought I'd be visiting the Kanbaru house that rejected my dear sister like this—the wheel of fate sure turns."

As she spoke in an amused manner, Gaen-san casually turned over the one shou bottle and poured it over the body of the little girl.

Rather than occult ceremony, if anything, it seemed more like the "magic kettle" thing they did in rugby clubs.

Good, judging from that composed demeanor of hers, it seemed Gaen-san had managed to safely get through the murky swamp of the high school girls.

"Ooh. White clothing getting wet and sticking to a little girl's body... Kind of erotic, don't you think?"

Hachikuji made a vulgar remark, unbecoming of a god—for the record, though I hadn't touched upon it (double meaning) out of kindness, when you were meditating under a waterfall for a joke yesterday, you looked the same way, y'know?

Putting that aside.

"By the way, Shinobu-sama."

"...... Hm? Ah, you mean me, my master?"

She wasn't getting into her role at all.

Her servile disposition was so deeply ingrained in her.

"I mean, my servant. What is it?"

"Even if you catch it right away... Well, it's fine. Listen, Shinobu-sama. My master. Would you allow me the honor of inquiring something of you?"

"If you bring that quality of acting to the real thing, it'll be your fault if we get found out, my mast... my servant."

I think it would be both our faults.

But since we didn't have time, I continued instead of retorting.

"I haven't really thought too deeply about this until now, but... What's it like, living for six hundred years?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, if I may be permitted to speak for myself, I believe I have undergone quite a few changes, just looking back over the past year."

"Speak normally. I can't tell what you're saying at all."

Right.

I didn't even know what I was saying at all.

"In the course of our lives, we change our opinions, change our minds, realize our mistakes, and learn right from wrong, right? I won't make friends, because my strength as a human would decrease—when I used to say that, I really believed it, and I don't think I could have believed back then that I would have normal friends in college."

And that was in just a single year.

If that had been six hundred years—I'd ended up suddenly wondering how I would feel when I looked back on the past.

"I can't tell what you're saying at all, even when you're talking normally—after all, I've been quick to cast away the past that I can't remember."

Was it because she couldn't remember, or because she didn't want to remember? She probably didn't even remember that.

Well, it's fine. I just wanted something to say at the last minute—not even I, speaking normally, could tell what I was saying at all.

Just because they were meeting again after six hundred years, didn't mean they had to make the same decisions they made six hundred years ago—is that what I wanted to say? However—if I ran into Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade on the verge of death in an alleyway again, what if I would offer up my neck again, just like I had done a year ago?

"In the first place, before oddities are immortal, they're unchanging, universal. They don't change so frequently, like humans do."

"Then, let me ask you the same thing I did in that spring break. Shinobu, to you..."

To you, what are humans?

When Oshino Shinobu had not been Oshino Shinobu, when she had been the vampire, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, she had responded immediately.

She'd responded—"food".

But for Shinobu now, that was incorrect.

Even under the premise that she was sealed—but when you took that out, it was still incorrect.

However, what she would respond was another matter entirely—and it was as if Shinobu had been caught off guard, because for a moment, she fell silent. But, as if aiming for that moment...

"O devourer, o imbiber, o lurker! Now that the holy sun has set, tear open the coffin and rise! Boil the flesh in blood, and stir it with the bones!"

Gaen-san started chanting something like a magic spell that had taken the world by storm a few decades ago—it seemed like a joke, but it was for real, right?

"Come together with the night! Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster!"

It seemed like the sort of hackneyed incantation that I would've been convinced if she'd said, "Just kidding," but in that instant, the little girl soaked in cheap sake began to glow gold—or so it seemed.

But it was just my imagination, and my misunderstanding.

In actuality, the girl who had been sleeping as if she were dead had suddenly opened her eyes—the blindfold flew open, revealing two eyes as golden as her hair, and it had felt to me as if they were glowing.

Miss Suicidemaster's facial features, who had previously appeared as expressionless as Ononoki-chan's, became clearer as she awoke—though they had the same golden hair and golden eyes, she gave off a different impression from Shinobu.

The sake that had been sprinkled over her evaporated in an instant—not only the shackles on her arms and legs, but even the sash of her white clothing flew off, just like her blindfold.

Had Gaen-san broken the seal, or had the little girl herself broken it? It wasn't clear from afar—but if anything, my impressions were more towards the latter, and I couldn't help but think, "What part of her is weakened?"

I was just beginning to regret my thoughtless act of treatment, which made me recall my actions last spring break, and was wondering if it would have been better to leave her as a mummy, but then...

Creak!

The little girl's face turned towards me.

Lying on her side, only her head turned to look towards me—no.

Not me. Those golden eyes had fixed their gaze upon the one standing on my shadow, the other little girl in this garden—within moments of waking up, the ancient vampire had sensed her former thrall.

And then.

"Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

She said—sprawled out on the ground, from the lowest position imaginable, her laugh rang out louder than I could have imagined.

And in response to that loud laugh, Shinobu, who had borne vivid witness to her former "master"'s revival—

"Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

She—laughed in return.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

If it weren't for the barrier, their loud exchange laughter would surely have disturbed the neighbors—it was like microphone feedback. How long had it gone for?

Six hundred years. A thousand years.

Did it go on for eternity?

It was quite the uproarious bout of laughter, as if Gaen-san and Hachikuji and I weren't even there in that garden, but it was finally brought to an end.

"Somehow or other, it seems I've died again."

That was the remark from the little girl on her back.

And, hearing that, Shinobu shrugged her shoulders.

"It seems we've both grown old," she said.

The two little girls had reunited for the first time in six hundred years.

[faulty-writes]

Do you do soulmate AUs? If not, then feel free to ignore this, but could I request headcanons of pro-hero Mirio and Tamaki (separately) finally meeting their soulmate, another pro-hero and a well known one in America... but she's also infamous for being exceptionally brutal towards villains to the point where she's The Dreaded. She's even traumatized some of them. And on top of it all, she's a strong silent type, not very expressive either. But as soon as they meet her, despite knowing (1/2)

all about her reputation, all Mirio/Tamaki wants to do is make her feel soft inside, make her feel small, warm, and cared for like she's never ever felt before (because that brutality had to come from somewhere) and maybe make her NOT want to make the villains cry uncontrollably when they see her. Thank you for reading all this - I absolutely love the way you write both of these boys. I just wanted to add that, and have a nice day!

Your submission came in two parts. But ...let’s see what I can do. 

Mirio Togata 

The moment he saw you, he knew his search was over. There was more to this world than quirks and his soulmate calling led him directly to you. Of course, it had been a rough start between you two. After all, he was sunshine and you were ...less than that. But that wasn’t any excuse, Mirio knew you were his soulmate and he knew he loved you and he knew that you needed his help. Especially considering your well-known reputation.

But you wanted nothing to do with Mirio. Despite the fact you knew you were soulmates, you refused to believe it. You couldn’t let anything ruin your hero work, even if it meant pushing away the one person that was truly meant for you. But no matter what you did to Mirio, he didn’t run. You could scream, insult him, push him but he didn’t leave.

One day, he ended up cornering you after you had apprehended some villains that ended up sobbing as the police arrested them. “Come on! I know my sunshine isn’t this mean and cruel! Sure villains might deserve bad treatment for what they’ve done, at least to some degree. But that doesn’t mean you have to be the one to give it to them!” he tried to reason with you, but you only rolled your eyes. “Back off Togata before you end up with a black eye!” you huffed and once again pushed him away. But his words stuck with you. 

You hated yourself when you realized that not only his words stuck with you but that you were attracted to him. You had tried to solve this problem by creating distance between yourself and him. But you quickly found out that Mirio wouldn’t allow that. “I don’t care what your reason is! You can’t just push away someone you love!” he snapped, “I won’t let my sunshine do that! I love you and you’re just going to have to accept that.” he dared to grab your hands which were trembling, just eager to hit him. 

You hated how it seemed your stubborn nature was fading, was this what love was? You denied it for the longest time, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Mirio. His voice, his gentle touch, the fact that he wasn’t afraid to approach you. Why ...Why was he so different? He certainly was a sunshine boy and he was your soulmate, that much you had come to accept. But how could one person change your life so much?

Your normally brutal approach to the villains changed, every time you were in combat the thought of Mirio crossed your mind and it somehow made you want to be a better person. You had never thought someone was capable of changing your heart, making you feel so small. But Mirio thought nothing less of you, “It’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes, especially around the people you care about. I’m really proud of you though and I promise, no matter what you do. I’ll never give up on you. You’re my tough little sunshine and you always will be.” he said with a chuckle and barely avoided the punch you threw. 

Tamaki Amajiki 

His first impression was that you were scary and he was afraid of you, even though he had barely said anything when you first met other than. “H-Hi ...uh, I-I’m T-Tamaki Amajiki and w-well I uh, t-that is t-to say um ...” your glare quickly ended his sentence and he slowly walked over to a nearby wall and leaned his head against it. You found his behavior a distraction and didn’t care much for what he had to say. If he was a fan or just a random admirer of yours. It didn’t matter. 

You were almost certain you wouldn’t see him again, but fate had other plans and you ended up meeting him once more when you were invited to the Pro Hero Festival. You rolled your eyes as he approached you, trying to deny that calling you felt deep within but it seems like Tamaki was willing to admit it first. “I ...y/n, um I k-know you d-didn’t r-really like m-me much l-last time b-but uh, w-well you f-f-feel that ...c-connection d-don’t you?” you jumped, cursing under your breath. “You know my reputation don’t you?” you hissed in response before walking away. 

But he was persistent, not willing to let the fact you were soulmates go. That’s what annoyed you the most, he continued to show up regardless of your intimidating words. You knew he was easy to scare away, but you never thought he’d snap back at you. “S-Stop it!” you hissed as he dared to grab your shoulders, “I d-don’t know why you s-say these m-mean things! I g-get you’re s-scary and i-intimidating and m-maybe I’m n-not what you e-expected b-but ...I s-still ...I s-still l-love you ...y-you’re my s-soulmate a-after all ...” you hated how his words seemed to stir an unknown emotion in you. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about his confession, why did he love you. How could he love you? Despite trying to convince yourself it was nothing more than a trick, that his words meant nothing. He seemed so sincere and you hated it, you were strong. Tough, nothing, and no one could make you feel something you didn’t want to yet. Tamaki was different, but he couldn’t possibly love you and you wouldn’t believe it. 

You began to start fights whenever you saw Tamaki from then on, despite the disgusting warm feeling you felt inside. It distracted you from your work and you ended up apologizing to a villain for punching them too hard. What was wrong with you? You had gotten so angry that you tracked Tamaki down only to scream at him. “This is your fault! I was fine before you came into my life so just leave me alone! I hate you! I don’t want you!” you snapped, feeling almost happy when you saw the pained look on his face. It stayed with you weeks after. 

You tried to pretend you felt relieved but the truth was, you found yourself missing Tamaki. Damn it. You tried to push the feeling down but somehow you found yourself searching for him again. But it seems that Tamaki wanted the same thing and you ended up running into each other, “Listen, you son of a bitch-” you began but Tamaki cut you off, “N-No you listen!” he surprised you at that moment. “I-I’m giving this m-my all ...a-and I w-won’t give u-up, I m-might be shy but I h-have a voice too.” he grabbed your hands. “S-So ...please, g-give me ...g-give us a c-chance.” he pleaded and despite your fears, you gave in. 

[takonei]

Beta AU - Main story, Chapter 5, daily life (Part 4)

Note of the author: I had a stroke writing this and you will have a stroke reading this. Sincerely: me.

Chapter 5: An oath to one’s lost humanity - Daily life

...

"It hurts."

"It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts."

"Ithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurtsithurts."

"It... It hurts..."

"It hurts... It hurts so much..."

...

...

--

Day 20 since the beginning of the game.

8:00 AM.

The morning announcement rang as usual. Shuichi slowly woke up.

Tomorrow could be the end of humanity itself or the end of the killing game. There weren't any other fates awaiting for them.

Hopefully, they would manage to get through the exisal hangar and destroy them.

Kaito's idea may be completely crazy, but that type of madness is what they need right now.

The others were probably waiting for him, so he got dressed up and immediately left to go to the dining hall.

He didn't encounter anyone on his way, though.

Once he entered, he noticed Kirumi was already there with Miu.

"Hello there." Kirumi greeted him.

Shuichi took a seat next to her. "Have you two slept well?"

Miu scoffed. "I slept like someone who's fate is decided tomorrow. But thank you for asking."

It's not like they could have anything else on their minds.

The three started eating in silence.

Kaito and Kokichi came in soon after.

Of course, Rantaro and Ryoma were still in their own labs.

Once they were done, Kirumi left to get Rantaro since Ryoma wouldn't leave his lab until tomorrow.

The medic didn't seem to get better. His empty eyes held the same heaviness for the past three days. The only thing that changed was how good he was at composing himself in front of them- an ability that seemed to worsen over the days, but that no one commented due to how he would potentially react.

"So? Did Ryoma finish the weapons?" Kaito asked.

"He said he'll be done by the end of the morning. After we eat lunch, I'll get the weapons and you guys will be able to enter the hangar." he replied.

After lunch... It was fine. They would have enough time. And besides, he could prepare himself mentally for this operation.

"Hold on, you're not coming?" Miu asked.

He shook his head. "Nah. There are still things I need to do. Besides I don't think all of us going will be useful. Can I leave this to you guys?"

"Don't worry, we'll take care of these, no sweat!" Miu gave him a thumbs-up.

Rantaro had a point. There were only five exisals. Six of them going would be a waste of time.

"What do we do in the meantime?" Kokichi glanced at the others.

"Well, we can still train, right?" Miu suggested. "It can be useful for later!"

"While on the subject of training..." Kirumi mildly raised a hand. "It has come to my attention that someone here might need more than just training."

Shuichi felt her eyes on him.

"I will take Shuichi with me for this morning if none of you are against the idea."

He swallowed.

The others didn't comply, to his dismay. He glanced at Kaito whose eyes simply said: "Good luck."

Training with Kirumi was probably going to be the most painful experience yet.

The group separated, Rantaro still going to do... 'His own business' as he puts it in his lab and the rest of them left to do their own training.

He followed Kirumi to Tenko's lab. He didn't even want to know what she was going to do to him.

Unless... She had ulterior motives?

Once inside, Kirumi closed the door.

"So."

Shuichi turned to her.

"Now that we are alone, we can finally talk in peace."

He let out a sigh of relief.

"We are not going to be able to talk to Ryoma until the time limit. That's going to be very problematic."

"Y-Yeah..."

Should he talk about how he found Rantaro yesterday? At the same time, this looked like a really personal matter, but Kirumi was the only one he could talk to about the situation.

"We're going to have to proceed differently. Forcing him wouldn't help, I know that, but when I went to get him, he was asleep on his desk. And I mean 'collapsed' asleep." she explained.

"Huh? What was he even doing in his lab?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Beats me. There were different products on the table. Different types of painkillers, from weak to very strong ones."

He hummed. "Were all the bottles opened?"

"I did not make a thorough inspection, but overall most of them were opened at some point, I think."

Shuichi thought back at what could possibly have happened in the lab. And more importantly, the syringe he managed to get a glimpse of. Did it have anything to do with it?

After a moment of silence, Kirumi sighed, rubbing her eyes. "This guy really is giving me a headache."

He couldn't disagree. At least with Kokichi, they knew what was wrong and now know how to avoid problems when it comes to his trauma, but they didn't even know what was up with Rantaro since he refused to talk to anyone other than presumably Ryoma. And the latter didn't talk to anyone else either.

"So... What do we do?" he asked.

She thought for a moment. "... You have Kiyo's notebook, correct?"

His eyes widened. Of course!

"Y-Yes, hold on..."

He rummaged through his pocket and took out the small, dark blue notebook of the now-deceased therapist.

"Kiyo trusted you with this notebook. Not me. It's for you to make a decision whether you tell me what it says about Rantaro or not."

She was right... He did judge Kirumi trustworthy enough, but he still hid things from her.

"... I think I'll judge after I read it."

She closed her eyes. "Understood."

The mercenary looked back at him. "For now we should keep a very close eye on him. Even more than ever."

"Do you think we should go to his lab?"

She slightly shook her head. "I will go alone. For efficiency purposes."

"Wait!" he exclaimed. "What will we tell the others?"

After a short silence, she made a quick movement under her skirt and took out her monopad, before putting it on the ground.

"You will stay here to read the notebook while I try to check on him. I will not be gone for long, but if the others do end up getting here before I come back, just tell them I had to get something in my room."

He nodded. "U-Understood."

But before she left, he muttered some words.

"... I didn't know you would care so much about him."

She stopped in her tracks.

There was a moment of silence. Had he said anything wrong?

"If that is how you see it. I simply feel like we should make sure he doesn't end up hurting himself."

The mercenary closed the door behind her.

... Kirumi was also a mystery, in some way. While Rantaro helped from the light, she was helping from the shadows.

Even if she hadn't gained the trust of everyone -even sometimes hated for her talent-, she was the only one aside from him to see through Rantaro's decomposing cover and willing to investigate.

His eyes stayed fixated on the door for a while.

Perhaps he should start reading the therapist's notes.

How was that thing even organized?

There were several bookmarks of different colors. Some were folded, some were not.

He opened the first page.

Angie Yonaga - Ultimate craftswoman

Upon a quick glance, he realized everyone was listed in alphabetical order. As for the bookmarks, he tried to see why some were folded, but he quickly put two and two together when he realized only eight of them were not folded.

To read them all would be useless at this point. He turned the pages when he stumbled upon Kirumi's.

What had the therapist deduced about her? Perhaps it could have answers to some of his questions.

He shook his head. The mercenary had left to check on the medic, and his role was to read about him.

Perhaps he still could try to look after reading his part.

He turned the pages to find the green, unfolded bookmark.

Rantaro Amami - Ultimate war medic

He took a deep breath and started reading.

-

Day 1 report.

Like for everyone else, I am using this notebook to keep track of everyone's behavior, and possibly help them adapt to this environment.

I did not have time to talk much to Rantaro, but he is of the people who stood out the most to me. He seems to already want to take the lead- in a good way. I can sense he has the instinct to do so. He says he is a war medic, I wonder if he was the chief of a crew or if it's just in him to lead people in dangerous situations. Both are plausible, but I shall study him more to see what enabled this behavior.

I do wonder if he has any sort of trauma linked to war, though.

-

Shuichi almost forgot there was a time Rantaro was the true 'leader' of the group. It felt like an eternity since then. So many things happened from the moment they were captured to now. Half of them have died already and there was a possibility the rest of them would die tomorrow, killing off the last glimmer of hope for humanity.

But the last sentence of the paragraph made him wince. It reminded him of how innocent he seemed back then- before almost killing him.

If Kiyo had a feeling on the first day, then surely he would have gotten more info about it over the days.

-

Day 6 report.

Rantaro is once again taking the lead by making us watch all of our motive videos to gain our memories back. I thought he was going to get us not to watch the videos, but I was proven wrong. He is more of a strategist than I thought. I do wonder if he has any other tricks up his sleeves to face Monokuma or not. He seems to already know someone is going to kill.

This afternoon only confirmed it to me. He seemed extremely forgiving of Miu's murder attempt, although I could also see a hint of uncertainty. Which is normal when you almost died. I hope he manages to play his cards well.

I cannot help but wonder if this side of him is genuine care for her or 'white manipulation' if you could call it that way. He doesn't seem to have any ill intentions, but if Miu learned she was being manipulated (even for a good cause), she would react very badly, I'm certain of it.

For now, I will stay silent, as I do not know his intentions completely, and to throw accusations would destroy the work he has started.

But if Rantaro is indeed able to manipulate people into acting according to his plans, I can't help but worry about what he could possibly do in the future.

I do hope he will not have to do this again, even though that is necessary, to an extent.

-

"White manipulation...?" Shuichi muttered.

He did notice how well Rantaro could act. Now he wonders if back then he had only done this to make her side with them.

He does feel bad though, to know that there was a possibility Rantaro was only taking advantage of Miu's feelings for him, completely disregarding the love and respect she had for him.

Shuichi really did hope there was at least a glimpse of sincerity in his words.

But right now, manipulating them? He indeed wanted everyone to act according to his plan to stop Monokuma, but now he wasn't so sure if there were any other intentions behind it or not. Rantaro never attempted murder... if he didn't count 'that' time. He saw it for himself: He was the most useful in the trials, always pointing out details on either the autopsy and major clues to continue.

Right now he was alone in his lab -with possibly Kirumi-, Ryoma was in his own lab and the others were training. But... that was necessary if they wanted to stand a chance against Monokuma.

... Perhaps he should continue reading.

-

Day 8 report.

Both Kaede and Maki are dead, but the trial let me see strange facets of some of them. Especially Rantaro.

He looks so dedicated to his job, I don't think I've ever seen such loyalty before. As Tsumugi was pushing him over and over again in the hope of getting info out of him, he felt insulted at the theory he would betray us. The emotion he put through his speech- that was genuine. A genuine pride and honor tied to his title as the ultimate war medic. He even insisted he would rather die than betray us.

While I am rather glad someone seemed genuine in his words of never committing treason, it stills makes me feel... Uneasy. I did feel chills hearing that last sentence.

“And I would rather die than to betray this loyalty I swore to myself.”

Those are definitely not the words of a normal person. I can tell he has gone through a lot as a soldier, but then again he never seemed to show any explicit signs of trauma.

I feel like I can trust him. He seems reliable enough as well as a very intelligent person who was a great help during those two trials. And while I do hope we are not going to get a third trial, I am pretty sure he would be just as useful if that happens.

While some of his methods are a bit unorthodox, they do end up being efficient in the end. To entrust Ryoma with his lab key so he wouldn't be able to be pinned for a crime was a smart move. I do hope no one gets the wrong idea with him, though.

As for hiding Miu's murder attempt... He managed to be extremely rational and not let his emotions take the better of him. He could have told everyone about it but preferred to gain her trust instead. Although as I said a few days ago, I do not know for sure if this is about genuine care or manipulation.

Miu did try to kill for her son but backed down because she was unable to actually do it. I think Rantaro sensed her will to fight and is trying to turn it against Monokuma. That's what we are all supposed to do but are too afraid to act because of the consequences. He is trying to redirect us to the path he judges right.

Overall I do not see him as our enemy, but rather as one of the people I trust the most, for now. I hope I will not get proven wrong over time.

-

'Unorthodox methods' was an understatement.

Shuichi was ready to tell the others about what Miu did, but Rantaro had immediately decided not to. Any normal person would lock her and make sure she couldn't harm anyone else, but he decided to give her a chance, and he was right to do so. That was a huge gamble that paid off in the end.

And to enable their will to fight, not against each other but against Monokuma... That was what he called white manipulation.

He thought about the time he and Kaito had gone to his lab during the third investigation. When they learned Rantaro had kept the lethal aspect of his products a secret. It was like he had managed to plan everything in advance extremely quickly.

Shuichi supposed it's his own talent that granted him this sense of organization.

But Kiyo explicitly said he never showed any worrying signs... Which didn't help in the slightest.

-

Day 10 report.

Rantaro has volunteered to take care of the ones touched by the despair disease. It is a noble gesture, and a part of me knew that was going to be the case.

Right now there are no more 'leaders' since he will not be with us to limit the risks of contamination. He even asked Himiko not to stay here too much. And while I cannot talk to him face to face, his words still feel genuine.

As a war medic, he should know better than us about this type of situation, so in the meantime, I shall help those who have trouble coping with the killing game.

He looks trained enough to do his job and I trust him for this. For now, I should focus on those I can talk to.

-

Nothing much to learn here...

Kiyo doesn't seem to doubt Rantaro, but he does not give any sort of information that would help him.

-

Day 12 report.

Rantaro started giving me mixed feelings. I feel like half of what he says is genuine, and the other half feels... Not exactly wrong, but forced. Like he is forcing himself to act in certain ways. To do certain actions.

Himiko, Keebo and Angie died today. I'm still having a hard time processing it all. But right now I am focusing on things I noticed in Rantaro's attitude.

When most of the group separated to investigate, I stayed with both Ryoma and Rantaro to guard the corpse. Right after everyone left, Rantaro probably became the most expressive I've ever seen him. He was truly mad at Himiko's death, and that was genuine. A feeling of guilt I also sensed after the others' death, but Himiko was the one to stand out the most, and I am sure it is because of her cause of death.

When he found out later the most important parts of Angie's plan were made thanks to his lab, plus the fact she tried to pin the crime on him must have accentuated his guilt. He was trying to hide it so he could solve the trial, but it was there.

The rage against Monokuma when he declared Angie had the bloodlust disease is completely genuine as well, I do not doubt it for one second.

However, when he grabbed Monodam to make him face Himiko's mangled body, he was clearly forcing himself. Was he trying to prove a point to the robots? To encourage us to fight? Or is it something else entirely? I could tell he knew that was not a good idea and that he had the emotional capacity not to snap. He did it with rationality and I cannot tell why he took such risks.

I want to believe in him, but this is starting to worry me. I should try to keep an eye on him.

-

He is.. pretending? But for what?

What would he even prove to Monokuma by threatening his cub? The bears had much more power than him at the time. Taking risks without any reason behind it was not like Rantaro at all. Was Kiyo wrong?

At least it's more than he ever learned. But still, he knew Rantaro was hiding things, but to fake irrationality... Why? He knew showing signs of weakness could cause the others to lose hope, so why do it on purpose when everything he has done up until now is trying to get them to fight Monokuma?

Or was it like the second theory- to encourage them to fight?

Shuichi had no idea what the medic was thinking, although that was not new.

He should read more.

-

Day 14 report.

Once again Rantaro took the lead for the 4th motive.

It's not that I mind, but we will have to stay separate for the most part, and Rantaro seems to want to stay with Ryoma for the time being. The two seem close, now that I think about it. And both often give their inputs in the trials, although Ryoma is a bit more silent. I suppose their experiences as soldiers must have made them closer than with anyone else. I do hope I am not wrong by making this assumption.

Although there is something that worries me. Ever since Himiko died, Rantaro seems more on edge. My guess is that since her death was more brutal than the executions themselves added to the fact that he was drugged the time this crime was committed, he must think he could have done better and even save her had he been less 'careless'. I do not know if he knows that it is not his fault, unfortunately. I can only hope. If someone had asked me a few days ago, I would have said with no hesitation that he knew that. But now I'm not so sure anymore.

He may have faked his reaction back in the shrine of judgment, but if more actions end up feeling genuine, I might have to step in.

-

Himiko's death had shocked everyone, not just Kokichi. Even though the boy was the most mournful, they all deeply missed the astronomer.

Her death changed them all in some way. Miu became way more motherly, Kiyo acted on his own because he judged he was the one to blame for this, Kokichi was torn apart because his disease was the reason she died, and now Shuichi learns that Rantaro was actually feeling the exact same guilt as everyone else.

But finally, he was getting a glimpse of what was wrong- something related to his past on the battlefield and the guilt he is holding.

Surely Kiyo would have...

...

... He didn't have time to get any more information, did he?

This note was written one day before his plan to stop the supposed mastermind. He didn't have time to write more.

However, there was one last note, hastily scribbled on the last page. It looked like Kiyo was in a rush when writing it.

-

This is the final note I shall write. Everything has gone wrong, and Shuichi, since you are probably the one reading this, I am sorry for lying to you all. I am sorry for betraying you and I shouldn't have made this disastrous plan in the first place, but I need to write this.

It's not that I'm distrusting Rantaro, but something is deeply wrong. Something I don't have an explanation for, and of course I cannot ask him because I have to pretend to investigate with you all.

But the way he was standing, the heaviness in his eyes, the way he reacted to Tsumugi's death, this intense guilt in his expression... It's not something I've ever seen before from him. He always had a comforting smile and a genuine will to help. But now it's different. It's like he completely shut down, only leaving an empty shell deprived of reason.

But that doesn't make any kind of sense. He didn't show even a single sign of trauma up until very recently. Not a single time. I've noticed his actions started feeling off during the motive and brushed it off because I was focusing on the mastermind, but there was a hint of hesitation, of uncertainty that was never present in him. But now that Tsumugi is dead, he has been showing those signs of trauma -whether it is indeed PTSD or something worse- more than ever.

I fail to see the meaning of this, but that may be because I didn't have time to talk to him at all. He might have just completely snapped all at once. It's very rare to be able to swallow all the pain that well, but if we keep in mind his early life, that actually might not be that much of a stretch.

Anyway, I know this is going to be hard considering he is not the type to let himself crumble -besides the eventual faking-, but I need you guys to keep an eye on him and possibly help him with this. He is the one who will need it the most.

I will not be here to help you and I don't have the time to write methods on how to deal with PTSD, and I do not know how to deal with war trauma of all things. Added to the fact I didn't get to witness it much, all I can say is good luck. I know you can help with patience and perseverance.

I have faith in you all.

-

...

...

A note before the trial. The last thoughts of the therapist about them. But...

What did this even mean?

Somehow he could understand the 'shut down' part due to what he witnessed these last few days... But he could not even apprehend anything else on this note.

"He showed subtle signs and then... broke d-

The door opened, startling him. He instinctively closed the notebook, letting out a high-pitched noise. "Ah!-"

Kirumi stared at him for a moment. "... I'm back."

"I-I can see that."

She approached him. "So? Anything new?"

Shuichi looked back at the notebook for a moment. "He... never mentions any sort of trauma. Only that it seemed... sudden."

The mercenary raised an eyebrow. "Sudden...?"

"He said he only showed very subtle signs of trauma but never mentioned anything else about it. Only that he seemed to have snapped when Tsumugi died."

She pondered for a moment. "... Which does not help us apprehend the situation at all."

"He only mentioned PTSD or 'maybe worse', but he never got to talk to Rantaro about it."

"Rantaro stayed with the ill ones during the third motive, and we had to stay separated during the fourth motive. So I can understand that part."

Shuichi stared at the notebook for a moment. "Was the mastermind... trying to do that?"

She looked back at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Trying to separate Rantaro from Kiyo- the therapist. Rantaro is one of the smartest ones here... Were they trying to make sure those two couldn't talk?"

She narrowed her eyes. "I am starting to think this is a possibility."

"They have managed to manipulate Kiyo, I wouldn't be surprised if they took Rantaro's trauma at their advantage. To exploit the weaknesses of the ones causing them the most trouble."

He winced at the thought. "Which means we'll have to keep an eye on him at all times... If he lets us."

"Which I doubt he will. You should know Rantaro by now as well as I do."

He could only agree.

"Wait, how did it go? Did you... talk to him?"

She went silent for a moment. "I did confront him, yes."

He felt his heart skip a beat. "S-So...?"

"He refuses to say anything. I did try to ask him to join us in our training and at least be with someone, but he snapped at me saying he already trains alone, and has the medicine to prepare. I couldn't get a single thing out of him."

"Oh..."

There was a long silence.

"Should we... train anyway?"

"Sure. What I do is more of an aiming exercise than something physical. A technical exercise, if you will."

At least he wouldn't get exhausted this time.

Kirumi first gave him a simple exercise with the target and the darts from Kokichi's lab, which at first didn't sound too bad. That is, until they changed the difficulty from 'peaceful' to 'throwing knives at a moving target.' At least his aim at the end of the training was decent.

Finally, Kokichi went to get them for lunch.

After that, Rantaro would get the weapons and they would finally make their way to the exisal hangar.

Hopefully, his plan would work.

They reunited, but lunch was pretty silent as they didn't have much to say.

After eating, they stood up.

"So? What about those weapons?" Kaito asked.

"I will go to Ryoma's lab. You guys can still train in the meantime if you want." the medic replied.

Did that mean it was going to take longer than expected?

Either way, Rantaro was already on his way.

"So... What do we do now?" Kokichi looked at the others.

"I guess we're back on preparing ourselves." Kaito shrugged. "Not like we have much to do."

"Then how about we go to the warehouse? There are still the dumbells here!" Miu suggested. "And you will have to train your strength one day or another!" she pointed at Kokichi.

"O-Okay??"

They made their way here. But as soon as Miu started going through the boxes, the lights suddenly turned off.

They stood there for a moment. The sun still shone through the windows, but the additional lights were gone.

"Weird... Aren't they always turned on?" Kaito raised an eyebrow.

"That is strange. None of us pressed a switch or anything similar." Kirumi noted.

"I'm guessing the power went out..." Shuichi noted. "But it never happened in the academy, did it?"

Kaito shook his head. "Nope. Not even once."

"Well, I guess there's a first time for everything." Miu shrugged. "Should we go outside instead?"

They didn't have many solutions. It was still too dark to do proper training.

The group made their way outside. Since Rantaro would soon come with the weapons, they decided to do simple exercises outside.

Shuichi was still anxious about this. Sure, he knew a way to open the hangar, but would the weapons work? Surely, Monokuma would try to do something, right?

Who knows.

Around fifteen minutes, later, Kaito broke the silence. "What's taking him so long? I know Ryoma's lab is on the fifth floor but still."

"Agreed..." Shuichi muttered.

"Should we go and see what happened? Maybe the blackout did something." Miu suggested.

"No need for it. He's right here." Kirumi said, head turned towards the main door where Rantaro just appeared.

He had a backpack that Shuichi assumed to be full.

He approached the group, put the bag on the ground, and opened it.

"Those are the weapons we used for the tunnels and new ones. There are now grenades in there that are powerful enough to do heavy damage, so be careful keeping a safe distance when activating them. You guys should be able to disable the exisals with that." Rantaro explained.

Grenades powerful enough to destroy exisals?

That was definitely not what he had in mind, but... Perhaps they could change their plans, if Kaito accepts giving up on his dream to pilot the exisals.

"So you are still not coming with us?" Kirumi asked.

The medic thought for a moment.

"... Perhaps it should be better if I go with you guys indeed."

Rantaro didn't say anything as he distributed the weapons to everyone. The grenades looked very small compared to the damage they are supposed to do. They were about the size of a tennis ball, with Ryoma's sigil printed on them. They were a bit heavier than what Shuichi expected an item of this size to be, but it wasn't too bothering.

"Shuichi, I really do hope your method will work." Kaito said.

"Even if it doesn't, I'm pretty sure these will be enough to destroy the door." Rantaro eyed him.

He did hope this would work indeed. Not that he disliked the bombs, but it still worried him.

They made their way to the exisal hangar.

Shuichi noticed the lights were still on, which meant the blackout hadn't touched the hangar.

"That's weird... I thought the blackout happened in the entire academy." he noted.

"Yeah, that's right! Is it because it only touched the main building or something?" Miu added.

"Strange. Rantaro, did you also get it on the fifth floor?" Kirumi asked.

"I did experience it. Fortunately, there were emergency lights in Ryoma's lab. He said he'll work a way to create a sustainable light source in case this ends up being a long term problem."

Shuichi wondered if all the labs had those. Probably, but he would have to check sometime.

This made him worry about the state of the academy. Perhaps throwing bombs around and using hacking guns could do serious damage, and without electricity and thus heating, refrigerators, and many other essential elements in the academy. they were better off dead.

At last, they reached the shutter.

"So? Will you finally tell us your technique?" Kaito asked again.

Shuichi nervously approached the pad where he had to type the password.

"... Kokichi, could you come here for a second?"

"Um... Sure..."

The smaller boy placed himself next to him. "What... do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. Let me just..." He placed a hand on the keys, took a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

He could sense the others silently wondering what he was up to.

"... Actually no. Miu, can you come here too, please?"

She raised an eyebrow. "O...kay? What's the big deal?"

"I want you to press keys at random until I say stop."

They all looked at him with dumbfounded eyes -except Rantaro, who somehow already knew what the plan was-.

"What the fuck?! That's your plan?" Miu exclaimed.

"There's one in a trillion of a trillion chance she'll get it right! Did you seriously think this would work?!" Kaito added.

"No, it can work."

Everyone turned to Rantaro.

"There is a chance it can work. Right Kokichi?"

The smaller boy jumped. "Y-Yes... I think she can do it."

"If karma is fully on her side, then I think she can get this one in a billion chances."

Her eyes widened and turned to the violinist. "You planned to use karma for this??"

He nodded. "That's why I'm asking you to type the code. You out of all of us are the most likely to succeed."

The street artist felt the gazes of her friends on her.

"I... I'll try."

She placed her hands on the pad. "So... I just type random numbers?"

"Yes, don't think while you type. And stop the exact moment I tell you to."

She paused in front of the pad. Shuichi closed his eyes to focus.

Miu closed hers as well and started typing, the beeping echoing through the room.

The intervals between the noises were short, but keeping track of them wasn't much of a problem.

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep-

"STOP!"

Miu instinctively took her hands off. "Is it good?"

Shuichi swallowed. "I think we can press enter."

He was very nervous. He really hoped this would work.

tic!

A loading logo appeared on the pad, everyone staring at the machine with anxiousness.

Password correct!

Shuichi's eyes widened. "It... worked?"

Miu laughed and started ruffling his hair. "It worked! Shuichi, you're a genius!"

"I-I guess? Thank you?"

"And thanks for the karma, Kokichi! We couldn't have done it without you!"

He weakly smiled. "T-Thanks, Miu."

Kaito cracked his knuckles. "Alright! Now that this thing's open we can get in!"

"We shouldn't let our guard down. We don't know if Monokuma is ready to stop us or not." Kirumi advised.

"Agreed." Rantaro added.

They proceeded with caution as the door opened for them.

They slowly entered the hangar, checking every side to see if the bear was here to stop them.

... But nobody came.

"So." Rantaro approached the first exisal with his hacking gun, pointing it at the machine. "If the gun works, the exisal opens."

Kokichi looked unsure. "And... What if it doesn't?"

The medic shot a quick glance at him.

"... Then we're blowing this place up."

Shuichi felt his heart skip a beat. When he had requested weapons to Ryoma... This isn't what he had in mind in the slightest.

"H-Hold on! Ain't that a tad too dangerous?" Kaito exclaimed.

"Well, do you have any other plans?"

The biker went silent. "N-No..."

"If they don't open with the guns, we have no choice but to destroy them."

He took the grenade to look at it. "Ryoma made these specifically to destroy them. He is the ultimate weapons maker, I'm pretty sure those bombs are more than enough."

Shuichi was still worried. If Ryoma's bombs were as powerful as he just said, weren't there risks they would hurt or even kill themselves?

He could only hope the guns would work.

Rantaro pointed the gun at the blue exisal and shot it five times.

But it didn't move.

"Perhaps we should check if we can open it." Kirumi suggested.

She approached the engine and tried to move it...

... Without success.

"S-So the guns don't work?" Miu asked, already knowing what's coming.

"Nope. That means the system to open them isn't electric, but mechanical. We can't do anything with the guns." Rantaro noted.

Kirumi crossed her arms. "I had inspected them several times the day we discovered the hangar. They don't have an opening mechanism that can be used by hand."

"Then... We have to destroy the exisals?" Shuichi looked at the two.

"... We don't have a choice."

He didn't expect Miu to say that.

"We have a way to put an end to this, so let's blow these up!"

"Are you sure about this?" Kaito turned to her.

She nodded. "If you want to, you can wait for us outside. Just give your bomb and we'll take care of it!"

Since Kaito couldn't run, to escape the explosion would be hard. Perhaps he should indeed distance himself so he wouldn't have to risk his life.

The biker gave his bomb to Miu and left.

"See you soon, good luck!" He waved at Miu, who waved back. "Gotcha!"

Everyone had their bombs in hand.

"You pull the grip, throw next to the exisals and run away as fast as you can. Ryoma told me we have ten seconds to run before they explode. Which should give us enough time to distance ourselves from the explosion. Got it?"

Shuichi nodded.

"3..."

He held firmly the grenade.

"2..."

Hand on the trigger, hoping this would go well.

"1..."

He was about to pull the grip, but-

"AHEM!"

A familiar robotic voice was heard from behind them.

A voice they all hated.

They all turned around to see Monokuma had made his apparition.

"My, my! That was quite the elaborated plan! I'm sad you guys don't put that much effort into killing! To use Kokichi's karma to open the door, then grenades to destroy the exisals? I didn't think you would go that far!"

... Well. Shit.

Of course, Monokuma would barge in at some point. It was about time he did something to annoy them.

"However, that would be very unfortunate for me if you guys end up destroying my precious exisals!"

Rantaro glared at him. "You just had to ruin our plans, didn't you? I was surprised you didn't show up sooner."

"I wouldn't call it 'ruining your plans'. You see, I call it 'Killing game management'!"

Kirumi rolled her eyes. "So? Stop beating around the bush and tell us what you're planning to do."

He groaned. "Impatient, aren't we? Let me at least make things enjoyable for our audience!"

Kaito looked at him with a deadpanned expression. "Stop fucking around, you stupid dramatic theater kid. No one is watching and no one cares."

"Fine! Fine! I simply added an additional rule for our lovely stay at the academy! Make sure to keep it in mind!~"

Shuichi took out his monopad that just vibrated and turned it on to see the new rule.

#17: Any person damaging the headmaster's personal property (Exisals, kids) will be faced with punishment.

"Oh, come on!" Miu yelled. "Couldn't you tell us sooner?!"

"Puhuhu! Why would I? It was fascinating to watch all of you prepare this meticulous plan, and to almost destroy my precious exisals! By the way..."

The bear took out a set of keys he span around his paw. Four keys, each marked with a color- blue, red, pink, and yellow.

"Those exisals can only be opened by my precious cubs! I would never -ever- give you guys the keys!"

If the cubs had the keys and Monokuma took them back after their deaths, then only Monodam had his key left.

Although that didn't mean he would help them.

"Now, shoo! You wouldn't want to be executed for such an idiotic mistake!"

Shuichi was mad. But he had to restrain himself. He glanced at the others.

They didn't have a choice but to leave, no matter how much they wanted to complete their plan.

The group slowly walked out, disappointed by the outcome of this mission.

They had to go back to the original plan, to fight the exisals once the time limit comes.

Miu explained to Kaito what happened back there, the latter also mad at Monokuma.

"So... What do we do now?" Kokichi asked.

"We'll stick to what we planned to do. You guys continue your training, I'll bring back the bombs to Ryoma."

Shuichi didn't expect anything else.

He thought about the notebook. Should he make an excuse to read more of it? Perhaps he could try to understand better what Kiyo was trying to say, and he was also curious about Kirumi.

But at the same time, he had to train with the others. They wouldn't be able to survive if he doesn't get fit before the next day.

Rantaro left to go to the main building.

Kirumi was keeping an eye on him. She obviously didn't like the idea of leaving him alone.

And neither did Shuichi

"K-Kirumi? You did aiming exercises with Shuichi, right?" Kokichi turned to the mercenary.

"Yes, I did. I am guessing you would like to train with me?"

He nodded. "I know I don't have any kind of brute force, but... I still should try to get better at aiming, right?"

She hummed. "It would be preferable, yes."

Miu put her hands on her hips. "We may have failed now, but we're not giving up! C'mon, Shuichi! I heard from Kaito you weren't exactly the strongest~"

Shit.

"R-Right..." he faked a smile.

Kaito wrapped an arm around his neck. "You're coming with us whether you like it or not!"

He could throw the plan to keep an eye on Rantaro in the trashcan, then.

But they were right on one thing: They needed to train.

They headed to the main building, but noticed the blackout was still happening.

"When will Monokuma bring the lights back? Sheesh, he could at least do that instead of giving us stupid rules." Miu groaned.

"Do we still train here or...?" Kaito crossed his arms.

She hummed. "I guess we can take the dumbells outside. That's gonna be our first exercise!"

... He was going to be the one transporting them, wasn't he?

The trio got to the warehouse, thankfully still illuminated a bit by the sunlight.

"Hey Shuichi! Take those dumbells outside, would ya?" the street artist grinned.

I knew it.

They ended up encouraging him as he transported the heavy box outside. The encouragements didn't do much, but it was still nice to have them by his side.

The three trained for a while. Shuichi was getting better, to the others' pleasure.

Good thing those two were good at motivating.

"I'm... I'm exhausted..."

Kaito laughed. "Alright, alright. We can take a break."

Shuichi laid on the grass and looked up to the sky- or rather the fake sky.

It may be nothing but a screen simulating the day/night cycle, but that was also the symbol of all the efforts the Gofer project scientists had put to ensure their survival.

They could not fail this fight. Not now.

There was a long silence.

...

"Do you think we're going to make it?" he asked.

Ryoma could make weapons, yes, but would that be enough against Monokuma?

Did he have any other trick up his sleeve?

What would... What would the one behind it all do?

"I have hope in us."

As expected, Miu was the one to talk.

"I said it before and I say it again. We can't consider defeat as an option. Whatever is in front of us we will fight it."

"I promised to Kaz that I would live, that I would be one of the salvagers of humanity, and I'm keeping my promise."

"And I want you guys by my side too."

But no matter how many encouragements Miu would give, his worry would never die down.

However, seeing her so determined about this helped a little anyway.

After a long pause, they decided to continue the training, this time he and Miu cheering for Kaito who was trying to run with dumbells. He did end up falling more than once, though.

But every single time he got back up. Sometimes needing help, but overall being more than able to help for the next day.

Perhaps those training sessions did more good than he thought, both physically and mentally.

Some long hours later, they could see the sunset in the distance as they all sat on the ground.

...

"This... This may be the last time we ever see the sun setting. If we can even call it that way." Kaito broke the silence.

Miu groaned. "What did I say earlier?! We are going to fight! And we are going to win!"

"I know! I know! But still!"

Miu turned to the source of this beautiful golden light. "... But I get what you mean."

The screens reflected almost perfectly the colors they used to watch on summer nights, back before the killing game.

When everything was normal.

...

"Oh, you guys are here!"

A voice came from behind- Kokichi.

"Hey there! Have you guys trained well?"

Kirumi, who was accompanying Kokichi, approached the group as well. "We are fine."

The two turned to the sunset as well. A calm and peaceful scene.

A wave of nostalgia hit him. Of summers spent with friends, dancing around the beach with their families watching them.

Moments he wanted so much to live again, but couldn't.

...

"I see things are going well on your side."

Shuichi almost jumped at the voice.

Rantaro had joined them as well, to his surprise.

"I'm glad you guys are still up to this very last battle." he said with a weak smile- a weak smile still not hiding the emptiness in his tired eyes.

"Anytime, sweetie! We're ready to fight!" Miu gave him a thumbs-up.

Shuichi couldn't help but smile as well. "I've been getting stronger thanks to you all. I think... I think we can do this."

"T-That's right! We've been training and I'm sure that with Ryoma's weapons we can end this!" Kokichi exclaimed- although his voice was still lower than most of theirs.

"Then I believe we can survive this fight." Kirumi crossed her arms, her voice low, but confident. "I believe tomorrow this killing game will end."

It was rare hearing such words from her, but they truly felt sincere.

"Then how about we take a break?" Kaito suggested, standing up. "We've been training all day, how about we relax a little?"

Rantaro sighed. "As much as I hate it, I have to agree. Perhaps we should indeed end for today."

Shuichi smiled. Finally, the medic admitted taking a break was necessary.

The group stared off into space.

The sky may be nothing but a pale copy of reality, but those rays of sunlight still warmed their hearts.

They were here. Six of the seven survivors of humanity. And if they were chosen as ultimates to save it, then they were going to fight until their very last breath.

Their journey was coming to an end.

A long and painful journey of what felt like endless suffering.

Tomorrow would mark an end to this game, and they would finally live in peace.

But right now, they just enjoyed the silence. The comforting artificial light from the dome.

Though the wind was not present, Shuichi could almost feel a light breeze on his face.

A calm before the storm, and hopefully then, calmer than they ever have been.

...

Shuichi turned back to the group. "How about we relax for an hour and then we get to dinner?"

"Sounds good to me! I need a shower." Miu stood up as well.

They all agreed, heading back to the dorms.

Shuichi started walking but noticed Rantaro was staring at the building- or the void, most likely.

"Are you okay, Rantaro?"

He turned back to the violinist. "Huh? Sorry, I'm coming."

Once in his room, Shuichi let out a sigh. He really needed a shower as well.

After that, he looked at his monopad. 45 minutes left before going to the dining hall. Perhaps he could finally read a part of Kiyo's notebook.

He sat on his bed and opened it to Kirumi's page.

The violinist may be worried about Rantaro, but he was curious about her as well.

Kirumi Tojo - Ultimate maid (?) mercenary

Shuichi forgot for a moment she was known as the ultimate maid for a while. But if he did note a question mark, did that mean he was doubting her even before the reveal? That wasn't that surprising actually.

-

Day 1 report.

Like for everyone else, I am using this notebook to keep track of everyone's behavior, and possibly help them adapt to this environment.

I do not know this person well, I will admit. However, I am pretty sure she was lying about her talent, at least partially. She may be in a maid outfit, but I have a feeling she is hiding things. I do not wish to point things out so soon. After all, cooperation is the key to survival in a killing game. One simple thing could lead to a disaster.

Who knows what would happen if I exposed her as a liar so soon. Besides, I lack concrete evidence to do so. I should keep an eye on her to see if I can get any information out of her behavior.

-

Even on day 1? Shuichi didn't know what he expected, but certainly not that soon.

Good thing he didn't expose her back then, though. He doesn't even know how he would have reacted.

He did learn it during a trial, which was why he had to brush it off rather quickly to solve the current mystery, but had she been exposed at any other moment he would have probably panicked a lot more.

At least Kiyo knew what consequences it would have had.

-

Day 5 report.

Kirumi is definitely not the ultimate maid.

I have heard from Tsumugi's group that Kirumi wished to stay in her lab for a moment before any of us could even enter. She may have gotten out of her lab afterward, but I have my doubts.

I did end up talking to her, though, in her lab of all places. The lab did look like it belonged to a maid, but something is amiss, I can feel it. And I am pretty sure she knows I know. She looks like she is carefully choosing her words every time she talks to me.

In her lab, our conversation was rather interesting, although I do not doubt for one second that she was lying through her teeth about certain things, mostly her daily life. I have a few theories about what she could be, although my main theory is that she is indeed a criminal, and not the 'robber' type. I would not be surprised if she revealed to have killed people in the past. How many? That I do not know, but she surely did.

I do understand why she stays silent about it, though. Even I, the first day, realized anything can make us crumble. I do not know if we will ever know one day, but knowing Monokuma, he would surely find a way to rat her out.

Although there is one thing that reassures me, is that she does not seem like the serial killer type. If she really took pleasure in killing, she would have done so during the first blood perk motive.

So I am guessing she is a retired mercenary or assassin. I do not know what could have made her stop her career, perhaps I should talk to her once her talent is fully out.

-

Even back then he knew about her being a mercenary, or at least an assassin.

He was really glad he didn't tell anyone. But was it the reason why Kirumi got Maki's motive video instead of hers? Monokuma did blame it on his cubs, but there is a possibility this was on purpose.

After all, how else would she get her talent out in the day? Just seeing her lying about her talent must have given him the will to expose her himself with the second motive.

He was glad Kiyo acted carefully back then.

Back then...

He preferred not to think about the fourth trial again.

-

Day 8 report.

So she is indeed the ultimate mercenary, just as I thought.

A strategical woman who does not wish to take unnecessary risks. She looked unhappy to have her talent exposed by Keebo and Ryoma, which is more than understandable. However, they did not specify if she was retired or not, which worries me a little. But since she is a mercenary and not an assassin, I think she does not wish to kill someone unless there is a reward behind it- most likely money.

Although I fail to understand why she didn't kill anyone during the first blood perk if she knew how to kill. Actually, now that I think about it, it might be because she realized the same thing as me- the fact that Monokuma may or may not have been lying about letting us go scot-free. And since Kirumi is intelligent as well, that is the most plausible possibility. A distrustful and independent nature has its perks.

I will try to talk to her about it during the next few days, but I will have to balance her with a few others, such as Kokichi, Rantaro, and Tsumugi.

-

Kirumi had mentioned retiring if she could, which meant she was indeed still active before the game.

And she did tell him about the reason why she didn't try to kill anyone for the first blood perk. And as Kiyo said, it was because she realized Monokuma may have been lying.

A strategical woman indeed.

But Kiyo also seemed to have realized that Monokuma may have been lying as well, but perhaps he feared the direct consequences of exposing him.

It's not like he could ask him now.

-

Day 9 report.

Kirumi is indeed an interesting person. Now that her talent is out I got to experience her real self. She is still helping with tasks, this time with Miu by her side, that I am glad didn't isolate herself from the group after the incident.

Miu aside, Kirumi seems to have mixed feelings about her own job. That if she had any other opportunity, she would retire, but that circumstances didn't allow her to do so. I did ask her how it was affecting her- to kill people for a living. However, the moment I even tried to talk about the subject, she glared at me and immediately closed herself off. It isn't anything surprising, really. To bring yourself to describe your killing career must be very hard. But in that case, she just doesn't want to, I think.

She doesn't show any signs of trauma, though I could be wrong. Since she is a strategist, she must know that showing weakness could cost her a lot. For now, I will try to focus on other people, since she seems very reluctant to talk about her feelings.

Although she did talk about preferring to end her targets' lives as painlessly and quickly as possible. That making people suffer and torturing them was not part of her job. On that point, I can respect her. She knows killing is wrong, and I can sense a respect for the dead coming from her. A necessity not to kill those who aren't involved with her job.

At least she is more reasonable than I first thought when I heard about her talent as a mercenary.

-

To respect the dead... That was exactly what she talked about a few days ago when she reproached them that they didn't respect those who died and their wishes. Kaito had taken it the wrong way, but this was what she really meant.

When they talked later, Shuichi learned that she wouldn't kill if she didn't have to and that she mostly did so to survive, putting her life before her targets'. It was a selfish mindset, but... Could he blame her?

Killing was horrible, and it is an unforgivable crime. He knew that more than anyone.

But as Kiyo said, at least she hated making people suffer.

He was really glad she was on their side.

-

Day 13 report.

Himiko's death was a shock for everyone. There is no questioning that. But Kirumi's stone-cold facade finally crumbled enough for me to see some specks of humanity in her.

Although she does have experience in killing, her reaction upon seeing Himiko's corpse was almost just as normal as ours. Pure horror. I didn't expect Himiko to be tortured in such a way either. I wanted to vomit.

But to see her shocked about her death proved me right on a point. She does respect the dead a lot. I do not know how exactly she achieved this mentality, but I presume this is because of her job. To watch people suffer weighs a lot on someone's mind, so making things quickly would limit the damage on her psyche.

Deep down she does feel the same horror as us to this madness.

And her last interaction with Angie only intensified this feeling. When she grabbed Kokichi to torment him, Kirumi was the only one who had the nerve to step in and slap her away, denying whatever similarities the two could have, and I suspect this mentality is the 'why'.

Two killers, yet drastically different ideologies, although I do not think I can consider Angie's bloodlust disease as an ideology.

I should try to get through her again if I have the chance.

-

...

There is nothing else in the notebook about her.

Kiyo had stopped writing about the others to focus on his plan. Each time he remembered that, his heart stung. Tsumugi's death, the trial, everything coming after... That was a horrible memory in his mind.

Upon reading Kiyo's statements, Shuichi had an answer to one of the questions he didn't dare to ask Kirumi.

How could she live with so much blood on her hands?

Being a mercenary must be an extremely hard job, especially if you hate killing. So this... this mentality helped her bear through this.

He did wonder if she sometimes wished for her targets to be happy in the afterlife.

... He preferred not to think about it too much.

Shuichi checked his monopad. It was almost time to leave.

After putting his shoes back on, he left the room.

Kaito and Kokichi were already there waiting.

"Oh, are you two waiting for the rest of us?"

The biker smiled. "Yup! We might as well go together, don't you think?"

He nodded. "Yeah... We still have to wait for the others, though."

Time passed, and Miu, Kirumi, and Rantaro left their rooms soon after. They all had noticeably taken a shower, for obvious reasons.

The group went to the dining hall to prepare what could be their last dinner.

They noticed the blackout was finally over, and they could at last cook in peace.

Miu had asked everyone to help- and they did. Shuichi wished Ryoma was there with them, though.

The dinner was nice, although Shuichi could see a hint of nervousness in the entire group.

The last dinner before the end of the killing game, whether they win or lose the fight.

"Alrighty then! We're gonna sleep and tomorrow is the big day! So sleep tight everyone!" Miu announced.

Rantaro chuckled. "I still have some things to do in my lab so go on without me."

How much of it was a lie?

The street artist narrowed her eyes for a moment. "Just don't stay up late. Got it?"

"I know, I know. Don't worry about me, okay?"

She slightly blushed at the remark. "A-Anyway! C'mon guys!"

Shuichi saw Kirumi shooting one last glance at the medic before following the others.

He couldn't do anything but go back to the dorms.

He laid on his bed, wide awake.

He couldn't sleep knowing Rantaro was up to who-knows-what at this point.

Carefully, the violinist opened the door, making sure no one would witness him, and stepped out of the dorms.

He quickly made his way to the main building.

Checking his monopad, he saw Rantaro's icon right in front of Ryoma's lab on the fifth floor, and Ryoma's icon in the lab.

... Were they talking?

Shuichi felt bad, but he didn't have a choice.

He walked through the corridors, but on the stairs leading to the fifth floor, he heard some noise.

Or rather, tapping, coming from both behind the door and from the hallway.

taap, tap tap tap tap, tap. taap tap tap tap, taap taap taap, taap taap, taap tap tap tap, tap tap tap. tap taap taap, tap, tap taap tap, tap. tap tap taap, tap tap tap, tap, tap taap tap tap, tap, tap tap tap, tap tap tap, tap tap taap taap tap tap.

This was from behind the door. And it oddly sounded like...

... Morse code.

A rhythmic tapping of fingers on the door. Quick, but understandable if you are experienced, he supposed.

tap taap taap tap, tap taap tap, tap, taap, taap, taap tap taap taap. taap taap, tap tap taap, taap tap taap tap, tap tap tap tap. taap tap tap tap, tap tap taap, taap. tap tap. tap tap tap tap, tap taap, tap tap tap taap, tap. tap taap, taap tap. tap tap, taap tap tap, tap, tap taap.

This one was from the hallway.

He hadn't mastered morse code at all, he couldn't understand a single thing.

But what if...

Shuichi quietly went down the stairs. If he grabbed a pen and paper, he could try to note the conversation.

If only he could go to Kiyo's lab where he knew were stored many notebooks.

But perhaps Kaede's lab had enough of them as well.

He ran there, grabbed a pen and a notebook, and sprinted back up.

He took out a piece of paper and focused.

taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap. tap tap tap, tap tap taap, tap taap tap, tap. taap, tap tap tap tap, tap tap, tap tap tap. tap taap taap, tap tap, tap taap tap tap, tap taap tap tap.  tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap taap tap, taap tap taap, tap tap taap taap tap tap.

It was a bit hard to follow the rhythm, but he could do it. He had to thank his good hearing for that.

tap taap, taap tap tap tap, tap tap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap tap tap, tap tap taap, taap, tap, tap taap tap tap, taap tap taap taap.

Supposing Rantaro was the one talking here, what is he even saying?

tap tap.  taap, tap taap tap, tap tap taap, tap tap tap, taap.  taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap.  taap tap tap tap, tap tap taap, taap.  taap, tap tap tap tap, tap tap, tap tap tap.  tap tap, tap tap tap. tap tap, taap tap, tap tap tap, tap taap, taap tap, tap. tap tap. tap tap tap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap tap. taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap.  taap tap taap, taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap. taap, tap tap tap tap, tap taap, taap.

taap taap taap, tap tap tap tap. tap tap. taap tap taap, taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap. taap tap tap, taap taap taap, taap tap, taap. tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap taap tap, tap taap tap, taap tap taap taap.

A pause.

taap tap tap tap, tap tap taap, taap.  tap tap, tap tap taap tap.  taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap.  taap tap tap, taap taap taap. taap tap tap tap, tap, tap taap tap tap, tap tap, tap, tap tap tap taap, tap. tap taap taap, tap. taap tap taap tap, tap taap, taap tap.  tap tap tap, tap taap, tap tap tap taap, tap.  tap, tap tap tap taap, tap, tap taap tap, taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, taap tap, tap...

... taap, tap tap tap tap, tap, taap tap.  tap tap.  tap taap taap, tap tap, tap taap tap tap, tap taap tap tap.  tap tap taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap tap tap, tap taap tap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap. taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap.

...

tap tap tap, tap taap, tap tap tap taap, tap.

...

...

tap tap taap taap tap tap.

...

tap tap. tap tap tap tap, tap taap, tap tap tap taap, tap. tap tap taap tap, tap taap, tap tap, tap taap tap tap, tap, taap tap tap. taap taap, taap tap taap taap. taap taap, tap tap, tap tap tap, tap tap tap, tap tap, taap taap taap, taap tap. tap taap taap, tap taap, tap tap tap. tap tap tap, tap tap, taap taap, tap taap taap tap, tap taap tap tap, taap tap taap taap. taaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaaptaaptaaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaptap

Shuichi couldn't even take notes anymore. This was way too fast. He wondered how Ryoma could even understand anything.

taaptaptaaptaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaptaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaaptaaptaptaaptaaptaptaaptaaptaptaaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaaptaaptaaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaptaptaptaaptaptaaptaaptaaptaptaaptaptaaptaptaptaaptaaptaaptaap-

BLAM!

Shuichi jumped at the brutal slam on the door, echoing through the large, empty corridors.

There was a long silence.

taap tap taap tap, tap taap, tap taap tap tap, taap taap. taap tap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap, taap tap. tap tap taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap tap. tap taap. tap tap tap, tap, taap tap taap tap.

taap tap tap tap, tap taap tap, tap, tap taap, taap, tap tap tap tap, tap.

Shuichi could hear Rantaro's heavy breathing from the stairs.

What the hell happened?

He doesn't know how much time he spent waiting for an answer before the tapping came back from behind the door.

taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap. taap taap tap, taap taap taap, taap taap taap, taap tap tap, tap tap taap taap tap tap.

tap tap, taap taap. tap tap taap tap, tap tap, taap tap, tap.

taap tap taap taap, taap taap taap, tap tap taap. tap tap tap, tap tap taap, tap taap tap, tap. tap taap, tap tap tap. tap tap tap tap, tap, tap taap tap tap, tap taap tap tap. tap taap, tap taap tap, tap. taap tap, taap taap taap, taap.

taap tap, taap taap taap, taap. taap, tap tap tap tap, tap taap, taap. tap tap, taap. taap taap, tap taap, taap, taap, tap, tap taap tap, tap tap tap. tap taap tap, tap tap, taap taap tap, tap tap tap tap, taap. taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap.

...

A long pause.

taap, taap taap taap, taap taap, taap taap taap, tap taap tap, tap taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap. tap tap, taap, tap tap tap. taap taap taap, tap tap tap taap, tap, tap taap tap.

tap tap. taap tap taap, taap tap, taap taap taap, tap taap taap.

tap taap taap taap, tap tap taap, tap tap tap, taap. tap tap tap, taap, tap taap, taap tap taap taap. tap tap tap, tap taap, tap tap taap tap, tap.

tap tap. tap taap taap, tap tap, tap taap tap tap, tap taap tap tap.

...

Shuichi felt bad eavesdropping like this.

Perhaps he should leave. This felt so wrong.

He looked away for a moment and left.

He had heard enough.

And he had no right to interfere. If Ryoma was already taking care of the matter, then he had no choice but to leave it to him.

After closing the door of his room, he looked at the notes he had taken.

They looked like a mess. But hopefully, he would manage to translate it.

He put the paper and the morse code guide on the desk and started writing.

...

After what felt like an eternity, he had the full dialogue -if he didn't count whatever Rantaro was rambling about for a moment.

~

- You sure this will work? - Absolutely - I trust you but this is insane I hope you know that - Oh I know don't worry - But if you do believe we can save everyone... then I will follow you - Save ... - ? - I have failed my mission was simply ????? ... - Calm down for a sec. Breathe. You good? - I'm fine - You sure as hell are not - Not that it matters right now ... - Tomorrow it's over - I know - Just stay safe - I will

~

That's all he got.

But at least he got to learn one thing...

... It's that his auditor was indeed Ryoma.

Why, though? They could talk face to face. They have no reason to complicate things for each other. So why the morse code?

He didn't get it at all.

The second thing he learned from this conversation is that Rantaro was not getting any better.

But what could he even do?

Tomorrow was the final day. If they all survive the battle, they would finally be able to rest. And both Ryoma and Rantaro knew that.

Just one more day.

Shuichi laid on his bed, closing his eyes, a lot of things lingering on his mind.

Tomorrow they would fight.

They would end this.

Once and for all.

[in-class-daydreams]

Parlay | (Kuroo x Reader) | Chapter 7

- Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader (ft. Roommate Kenma)

Word Count: ~3,800

Genres: Fluff, angstiest chapter thus far, general buffoonery

CW: Swearing

Summary: (Y/N), a first-year student attending Tokyo U, is living with her best friend, Kozume Kenma. Little did she know, her life would be turned upside down after being exposed to Kenma’s volleyball teammate and close friend, Kuroo Tetsurou. One wrong move, and the parlay’s stakes only get higher each time.

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

Kuroo tried. He really did. For his best friend’s sake, he wanted to distance himself a bit from (Y/N) and her feminine wiles. Earlier that day, he’d lounged at home watching TV. The news reported that a serial mugger was at large around Tokyo U. Kuroo, being a rather large male, didn’t think much of it. Besides, all he had on him was his phone, his notebook, and a wad of gas station receipts, and a boatload of student debt that he’d love for someone to take off his hands. To him, it wasn’t really a big deal.

What was a big deal was that today was Tuesday, and it was also the first day he resolved to stop walking (Y/N) to work. She was a big girl, she had pepper spray, and he shouldn’t be giving people the wrong idea. But that plaid yellow skirt was making him nervous.

Despite his reservations, he managed to choke out that he wouldn’t be able to walk her to work that day, and (Y/N) gave no indication that she minded. They talked as normal before going their separate ways after class.

Kuroo Tetsurou was a weak human being. The girl hadn’t gotten more than 20 steps away from him before the memory of that god-awful news story got to him, and he was sprinting after her.

“Kuroo-kun? I thought you had somewhere to be?”

“I-- Uh, I have a little time?”

“But I don’t want you to be late! I can text you as soon as I get there?”

Kuroo hesitated. He really needed to put some distance between them, but could he really leave her to walk by herself? It was getting dark. Would he be able to forgive himself if anything happened to her?

“Look, a dog!” she excitedly pointed out a woman walking her corgi across the quad.

“He’s super handsome!” she called out to the owner, who offered to let her pet him. (Y/N) wore an expression of pure joy as she played with the little dog who was basking in the attention. Kuroo looked from her, to the dog, to her pretty yellow skirt, and he cursed himself for being so weak. Standing up, she thanked the owner, and brushed the nonexistent dust from her skirt.

“Please, Kuroo-kun, I’d never want you to be late because of me.” She was too sweet for her own good.

Kuroo meant to say either, “You’re fine, don’t worry about it,” but decided to say, “It’s a pretty short walk.” Then, he made the mistake of looking down at the tender look she was giving him.

The next thing he knew, he had mixed the two and said, “You’re pretty.”

‘Welp, I’m gonna curl up under than bench over there and never move again.’

“Oh! Ahh,” (Y/N) cupped her cheeks in her hands. Avoiding eye contact, she stared down at her shoes, “Well, ah, Kuroo-kun, you’re not bad looking, yourself… Okay, I’m walking away now! Come with me or don’t,” she squeaked and walked briskly in the direction of Chisai. On instinct, Kuroo got his legs to follow closely behind.

‘At least she’s flustered too. But that’s not the point! Come on, Tetsu. Fix this!’ he scolded himself.

“Sooo… about that test next week--”

“Yes! I meant to talk to you about that! Okay, so what I was thinking is--”

Kuroo was bewildered by the sudden shift in mood. She’d been passionate about school since day one, but right now she was… radiant.

“--and since your notes are so objective, I think it would be a huge help for me if we studied together!”

“(Y/N)what’syourmajor?” he rattled out.

The girl beside him quirked an eyebrow, “Pardon?”

Kuroo cleared his throat, “What’s your major? You just-- You just are so obsessed with--! Wait, not obsessed, I didn’t mean that! I just thought--”

“Kuroo-kun, it’s alright,” she chuckled. “I get what you mean. I know I can be a bit much when it comes to school.”

“It’s really--”

‘--endearing’

“--not a bad thing, though!” She waved him off with an easy laugh. They observed the setting sun over the horizon. The shining light of golden hour hit her just perfectly to give her face an angelic glow. She looked stunning against the autumn leaves.

“No, it’s not a bad thing, though it can be a bit troublesome sometimes. I’m undeclared.” That wasn’t the answer he expected. If she had said, ‘criminal justice’ or ‘neuroscience’ or ‘making people adore me,’ he would have accepted any of those answers as legitimate majors he could see her in.

“Undeclared? But you’re so… So…”

“So, what?” she looked up at him expectantly.

“So… passionate. About learning. I thought you’d thrive in whatever major.” In fact, her insatiable thirst for knowledge was one of the things that drew him to her.

(Y/N) gesticulated wildly with her arms, “That’s just the thing! There are so many things I want to do, I think I could be happy with anything! But there’s so much to worry about, like whether I’ll get a job after university, how long I’ll have to be in school, how much money I stand to make. There are a million things I have to take into account, but… I dunno, I don’t want to make the wrong choice. I don’t want to wake up one day, and wish I could go back to where I am now and make a different choice. Does that make sense?”

Kuroo stared at her with wide eyes. He never would have guessed that the sweet, caring girl who could make friends with a pebble would be feeling so uncertain about her future. Strangely, though, he quite liked it. The fact that she was having such a crisis made her more human, for lack of a better term. Right then, she wasn’t Kenma’s perfect sweetheart of a girlfriend. She was just (Y/N). She must have taken his silence for confusion, as she broke into his thoughts.

“Ahh, Kuroo-san, I’m sorry for going off on you like this. I think pre-finals week is frying my brain, and I’ve just been babbling like an idiot all day,” she recomposed herself.

Kuroo grabbed one of her hands and clutched it in both of his. The taller male looked deep into her eyes.

“No! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you shared this with me.” “That’s sweet of you, Kuroo-san, thank you for--” “And you don’t have to go back to calling me Kuroo-san. Use -kun or you can even just call me Kuroo. I don’t mind.”

Realizing the position they were in, he dropped her hand abruptly. Their walk continued in embarrassed silence. They bid each other farewell at the front steps of Chisai Tea House, and Kuroo made sure he saw (Y/N) get through the shop’s doorway. His amber eyes lingered at the spot she was standing for a moment longer. At peace from his time with her, he turned his back on the shop and decided he might as well be late for this one practice. Behind him, the front door jingled. He turned.

“Good, you’re still here,” (Y/N) panted, “I was serious about studying together. Are you free tomorrow?”

“All day,” he heard himself say.

She made a face like she was trying not to smile too wide, “Great. I’ll text you later this evening. Have a great night, Kuroo,” and she was gone. He ended up not being late to practice at all, and his teammates were commenting on the stupid shit-eating grin he wore the whole time.

~~

Kuroo’s eyes snapped open. When had he fallen asleep? The last thing he remembered, he was on (Y/N)’s bed poring over lecture notes and study guides reviewing the concept of binary fission and how DNA is read from the 3’ end to the 5’ end. If the pastel yellow walls were any indication, he wasn’t in his own bedroom, and the comfortable weight on his chest was definitely not normal. His heart nearly stopped when he looked down at his chest and saw a familiar head of sweet-smelling hair. The girl’s cheek was pressed against his muscular chest and she had one hand over his heart. One of their binders was wedged under her thigh and Kuroo felt a couple highlighters digging into his back. She was breathing softly, and Kuroo couldn’t help but notice how comfortable he felt in that position. Through the door, he heard plates and bowls being shifted around, but if (Y/N) was here, then who was out there?

It suddenly hit him, “Shit,” Kuroo hissed, ‘Oh my god, this isn’t Bro-Code, this is the exact opposite of Bro-Code. Crap, she’s so cute and-- No! This is my best friend’s girl! What happened to distance, Tetsu!? I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up.”

As gently as his haste would allow, he lifted the girl’s head and shuffled out from under her. Deciding he could come collect his stuff later, his mind went into overdrive, and he made a break for the door. He stopped mid-way and looked back at the girl’s sleeping form. Against his better judgement, he found himself removing his Tokyo U team jacket and draping it over her before making a swift exit.

“Hi, Kenma. Bye, Kenma.”

“Kuroo,” Kenma’s quiet voice stopped him from throwing himself out the front door. The middle blocker turned sheepishly.

“Yes?” he squeaked.

Kenma looked up from his breakfast, “Relax. Really, it’s not something to freak out about.”

“You saw that?”

“The door was open this morning.”

Kuroo sighed, “Kenma, I--”

“Stop,” his best friend cut him off, “You’re not a bad friend, Kuroo. Actually, about (Y/N)--”

It seemed the universe had a way of hitting Kuroo with the worst timing possible when the girl that was currently turning his emotions into a jumbled mess waddled down the hall sleepily, draped in his jacket with his name emblazoned on the back.

‘Nope. No, absolutely not,’ he could not have walked out the door any faster. It slammed closed behind him.

“Was that Kuroo that just left?” she yawned.

“Mhmm.”

“Thanks for your jacket, Ken-Ken, I was cold this morning.”

“(Y/N), that’s not mine,” he said through a mouthful of cereal, “It’s way too big.”

(Y/N)’s brow furrowed into her signature look. After a look of realization crossed her face, she raised her hand to her mouth with a quiet ‘oh.’ Her eyes drifted towards the door.

“But why would he--”

“Lately he’s been coming to practice sweaty and completely out of breath,” he told her.

“What does that have to do with me?”

“It’s only ever on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“Kenma… What time are your practices?”

“5:30.”

(Y/N) gasped.

“You mean he--?”

“He’s never actually late if that’s what you’re worried about. I just thought you might like to know. Can’t you see how much he cares about you?”

(Y/N) slid into the nearest chair. She sat in stunned silence for a long while, with his jacket still wrapped around her, processing what Kuroo had been doing for her. Kenma waited a while before bringing her back to reality.

“I think you need to tell him about the bet,” he advised.

His roommate nodded, “I will. He really did all that for me?”

“Honestly, (Y/N)? I think he’d give you the moon, if you asked for it.”

~~

“Do you need something, Tetsu-chan? Or are you just admiring my handsome face?” the setter asked. Kuroo’s stare had been burning holes in Oikawa’s back all practice, and it was really starting to get old, which is why the brunette waited until all the other guys had exited the locker room before rounding on his teammate.

Kuroo jumped in surprise. “Don’t-- Don’t be so full of yourself, bastard,” he grumbled. The boy hadn’t realized how long he’d been starting at his teammate.

Oikawa clicked his tongue. He waggled his finger at the taller male.

“Ah, is that any way to get the answers you want? You want to know about my relationship with (Y/N)-chan, don’t you?” Aoba Johsai’s former captain smirked evilly.

“Fine. Yes, I do,” Kuroo growled, “But I didn’t think it was any of my business.”

“That’s definitely true, my dear Tetsu-chan, but because I am a man so pure of heart--” Kuroo rolled his eyes, “--I can’t blame you for being curious about the ex-boyfriend of the girl you have feelings for.”

“I don’t have feelings for-- Wait, what? You two were together?” the taller of the two asked in disbelief. It just didn’t make sense. He understood how anyone at all could fall for (Y/N), but he couldn’t understand how (Y/N) could like the shallow, dramatic man-child before him.

“Yup! For a whole two and a half years,” Oikawa crooned. Two and a half years was a long time. Was it possible the two of them still have feelings for each other?

“I still love her, you know.”

‘Well, that answers that question.’

Honestly, Kuroo was disappointed, but not one bit surprised. If she and Kenma fell through, (Y/N)’s handsome and talented ex-boyfriend still had feelings for her. It wasn’t like he stood a chance when kind, doting Kenma and passionate, charming Oikawa were options.

“I hear you’ve been avoiding her lately. Is that true, Tetsu-chan? Because I know (Y/N) very, very intimately,” he purred that last word, “And I know for a fact that if you distance yourself from her, she will not chase after you. The choice to be in her life is one you alone have to make.” Oikawa’s chocolate eyes were dead serious, his tone was nothing like anything Kuroo had heard from him before. But he was right. After that disaster in her bedroom, Kuroo had been dead-set on cutting contact with her until he could keep his emotions in check. He ignored her texts, stopped walking to work, he even hung out with Kenma at his own apartment instead of theirs. Every minute of it made his heart ache. Her texts increased in frequency as she grew more and more concerned until one day: nothing.

“I can’t do that to Kenm--”

“Get your head out of your ass, Kuroo,” Oikawa snapped. “You wouldn’t be on this team if you didn’t have a good head on your shoulders. So tell me, has anyone explicitly stated that (Y/N) and Kenma were dating?”

Well, it was-- Wait. Kuroo cycled through a hundred different conversations with the two of them and could not come up with a single utterance of the words ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend.’

“You don’t know, right? Okay, have either of them hugged, kissed, or done anything that cannot be anything except romantic?”

Now that Kuroo thought about it… No. Not once. But what was he trying to say? Oikawa walked over and got right in the blocker’s face.

“If (Y/N) still wanted to be with me, she would be. But, she doesn’t look at me the way she used to. Now she looks at you the same way she used to look at me, so you need to stop acting like a middle-schooler with no problem-solving skills and actually talk to her!”

“And who are you to tell me all this?” Kuroo bit back. “I thought you still loved her. Why are you telling me to go after her?”

Oikawa took several deep, shuddering breaths and looked up determinedly. Kuroo was taken aback by the tears shining in the Grand King’s eyes, “I promised I’d do anything to make her happy. Apparently that involves you now. So, what’ll it be?”

The shorter male backed off first, “Are you going to face whatever the hell you’re so afraid of, or will you keep ignoring her and punish her for your own insecurities?”

With that, the brunette snatched up his belongings and stormed out.

~~

The bonfire burned brightly and it felt like the entirety of the Tokyo U student body was there. After that conversation with Oikawa, Kuroo wasn’t sure what to think. Were Kenma and (Y/N) dating or not? Did (Y/N) have feelings for him? Did he have feelings for (Y/N)? He had spent so much time either being freaked out by her general existence or vehemently denying that he thought about her very much at all, that he hadn’t been able to work out his own feelings.

From: Kenma [9:36 pm]: Where r u? (Y/N) wants to talk to u

Kuroo wasn’t quite sure what he wanted. If he entertained the idea of being with her romantically, all he could picture was him giving her his heart and her deciding she doesn’t want it. Now, he was at this dumb bonfire watching (Y/N) party it up with her friends while he sat at the water’s edge getting sand all over himself. He felt the sand shift beside him and taking the drink offered to him, he said, “Whatever it is, I don’t think I’m in the mood right now, Kou.”

“Oh no, Bokuto-san’s been over there doing keg stands with his frat brothers,” said the absolute last person he was ready to talk to right now. Glancing over, he was met with moonlit eyes and a gentle gaze.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

(Y/N) set her drink in the sand beside her. Leaning back on her hands, she tilted her head backwards and stared at the stars. They sat silently in the cool night air for several minutes, each waiting nervously for the other to make the first move.

“Kuroo-kun? Did I do something wrong?” she asked quietly, as if she hadn’t meant to speak aloud.

He sighed. This wasn’t what he wanted at all.

“No, it’s-- It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why have you been avoiding me? It’s been three weeks, Kuroo-kun.”

The boy beside her ran a hand through his unkempt hair and exhaled harshly through his nose.

“I know, I know, it’s just. I thought we needed some distance. I was just thinking about you and Kenma, and I don’t know what the hell is going on with that confusing mess of a relationship, and I recently found out that you and Oikawa were together for fucking two and a half years.”

‘That’s enough.’

Kuroo couldn’t stop. All his confusion and frustration was coming to a big, ugly head.

“We were getting close and Kenma is smart and basically internet famous, and Oikawa could have whoever he wants on this campus and he’d get back with you if you just said the word.”

‘Why am I saying this?’

"Every single one of my teammates has commented on how cute you are at some point and I just-- I didn’t want to be involved, you know?”

‘(Y/N), I don’t mean that, I swear.’

Beside him, he heard a loud crunch of plastic. (Y/N) had her red solo cup clenched tightly in her fist. The ripped plastic had cut into her palm and cheap beer was mixing with blood and dripping all over her exposed legs. Her jaw was clenched tight and the girl was shaking with rage.

“What the fuck, Kuroo?!”

“Huh?”

“You got all that crap about me and my relationships with Tooru and Kenma, and you’ve made all kinds of assumptions about me from shit your teammates say about me? Are you kidding me right now? You haven’t bothered to ask me shit! You’ve been skirting around me, asking the men in my life all about me and my relationships, and you say that I’m soooo cute and soooo smart, but apparently not cute and smart enough for you to come to me about stuff that concerns me!”

‘I didn’t know you felt that way.’

“And you know what? You should be fucking confused about me and Kenma because we’re not dating.” (Y/N) snapped to her feet and glared down the bridge of her nose at Kuroo.

“What, you broke up?” Kuroo asked, bewildered.

‘Shut up, shut up!’

“No, it was a bet, okay? Kenma and I made a bet that if we didn’t correct you, you’d never notice we weren’t actually dating.” It was Kuroo’s turn to stand up.

“I-- What-- You--? (Y/N), you made a bet over me?” he fumed.

“Yes, we did, and I admit, it was sort of shitty, but you know what? It wouldn’t have been a problem if you didn’t think you were so damn clever and actually ask me instead! If you were so confused, then why didn’t you just ask, Kuroo?”

He threw his hands up and huffed.

‘You’re right. I’m sorry.’

“I didn’t think it was any of my business!” he yelled back.

“Oh yeah? But my relationship history is your business? I try to be kind and friendly and keep out of people’s way, and my kindness somehow gives people the impression I’m like some shiny handbag that someone may-or-may-not ‘deserve’ to have, but guess what? I’m a human being, and you know what else? I can make my own damn choices.”

If Kuroo was in his right mind right then, he might’ve thought she was right. He might’ve said so and the argument would have been over. Sadly, his mind was reeling from the anger and betrayal over a bet that had him in emotional turmoil for months now. He couldn’t stop now.

“Well, if you hadn’t--”

“I’m not done. I thought you liked me, Kuroo-san, and I can’t believe you think I’d run back to my ex at the drop of a hat. You think I’d go back to Tooru, what, because he ‘could have anyone on this campus’? It fucking blows my mind that we could spend so much time together and, you still think I’m that shallow?”

‘No, you’re not. I’ve never once thought that. I don’t know what I’m saying right now. Why? Why? Why can’t I stop?’

“Well--” he began.

‘Please don’t. Just apologize.’ Kuroo hated feeling so trapped in his own body. It was like he’d been possessed.

“--you were with Oikawa Tooru for over two years. You know what they say about birds of a feather.”

‘No. Anything. Anything but that.’

The (Y/N) he knew, or thought he knew, was gone. She’d completely lost her composure and she gaped at him, wide eyed at his audacity. He thought since she was subdued most of the time, that meant that she only had one layer to her personality, and that was a mistake. The girl in front of him was all fire and passion and burning hot rage.

“How fucking dare you? You barely know him. You just know him by the mask he shows others and the way they treat him. Just like me. You don’t know either of us.”

(Y/N) stormed off towards the parking lot. Her friends tried to intercept her, but they soon pulled back after seeing the irate expression on her face. Kenma reached for her hand, which she snatched back. Looking over at where she was coming from, the dyed blonde locked eyes with his childhood friend. The setter shook his head in disappointment and took off after his roommate.

~~

Taglist: @joyful-jimin @nekomas-kuroo

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM manga chapter 119 Review: A Conspiracy?

Buckle up, this review gets long.  I was away on family business for a few days so I missed this one’s drop.  It’s meant though that I’ve had longer to ponder my thoughts. 

Core take away for me is that like Hellfire Flame and Gale Wind trying to recruit Sonic set us up to better understand the Ninja arc when it showed up in the webcomic, this ‘glimpse behind the scenes’ at the conspiracies brewing sight unseen is foundation for what will burst into the open later, apparently from nowhere. 

Anyway, onto the review.  Much more under the cut.  First though, One-Shotter is still alive!  Looks like his mechanised parts are much more extensive than initially appeared. 

I tell you, it doesn’t pay to be a cyborg hero in OPM. It’s just inviting gratuitous cruelty into your life.

Soon Gets Sooner

This chapter, I honestly expected Drive Knight to just leave with Nyan and stay the international Cyborg of Mystery he'd been to date.  But he stuck around to talk to Sekingar and what we got was a glimpse indeed to the mystery plot that has been brewing from the very start.

We find out just why Drive Knight has a 100% win record: he never, ever fights unless he has carefully studied and formulated an excellent battle plan. Even if it means sacrificing his fellow heroes like pawns.  

And then things get weird. After offering data on the strong monsters in the MA, Drive Knight changes the subject to asking Sekingar about the state of the Hero Association, being very interested in just which capable heroes were left available to respond and whether or not Blast was likely to attend if the Hero Association were attacked.  And then Drive Knight went into full tin-foil hat conspiracy mode, painting the loss of the Metal Knight as a deliberate action by Dr Bofoi to gift the Monster Association with the way to take out the Hero Association.

When Sekingar spoke of not expecting the support heroes to carry out their mission without injury, I’m sure he couldn’t have imagined ending up a casualty.  When he tries to call the Hero Association to check, none other than G5 shows up to shoot his hand off.  As G5 approaches, Drive Knight makes no move to either attack G5, claiming lack of power, nor to protect Sekingar.  Even in extremis though,  Sekingar is still thinking about the support team, the hostage, and what action he could yet take.  Truly, a hero is being forged before our eyes.  He just has to survive the experience.

‘Why not me?’ That’s the central question heroes ask themselves.

Fee, Fi, Do, Fum, Cinderella's At The Ball

We'd seen Garou, who I'd dubbed Sleeping Beauty awaken from his unconsciousness. With a roar, he pummelled PPP into the ground.

Cyborg Cinderella, whom we'd left vacuuming and washing dishes while the others went ahead, may be attending the ball late, but his entrance was no less spectacular. With timing worthy of Saitama himself, just in time, one mighty kick all but split G5 in half, arriving so fast the robot barely had time to register his presence.  It's interesting what summoned him; Saitama's punch may have gotten his attention, but it was G5's energy signature that really got him on scene.

Insane kicks, flips -- and upgrades

Kuseno magic extends to clothes: the last time he used Jet Drive Arrow, he ended up naked. Now Genos isn't just very fashionably dressed, but his raiments are fire-resistant and wonderfully form-hugging.  Until the clock strikes twelve (or ten in his case), he is here to cut some terrifying shapes.

And now all the pieces are in play.

The chapter ends suddenly and ominously.  On one side, we have Genos asking, looking about as cunning as a newborn lamb, what’s going on: 

On the other, if it’s possible for an expressionless face to look unamused, then the very cunning Drive Knight looks most unamused:

Meta: “The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.”  

 -- from the webcomic ‘Schlock Mercenary’ (more here)

I’d wondered why ONE had split Genos off from the rest, in difference to the was he’d gone together with the rest in the webcomic.  It was definite that ONE intended to test Genos in a situation where he had no support, bu the potential for him to discover something new and relevant to his quest is the last thing I expected. 

A peek behind the scenes indeed!  Where from and why Genos came to fetch up at Saitama’s door in chapter 7, telling a tale of evil cyborgs and total extermination, we know not.  It’s seemed increasingly far-fetched as nearly nothing happened with that storyline and the monsters we meet have nothing to do with the sort of intelligences behind any such cyborg.  It’s led to some, too many, fans claiming that in that absence the ‘mad’ cyborg must be Genos himself  -- in a twist of logic too stupid for real life  [Then again, the typical SF story seems to be written by an individual who never met an actual human being...].  I don’t know about the veracity of 90% of what Drive Knight said, but there is a conspiracy indeed. 

So, now we get to understand a bit more about Drive Knight. It’s something I’ve long wondered about:

The thing about Drive Knight is that he hasn't told us who he is yet. At present, he's a blank slate for whom many alignments are possible without betraying who he is. He could be entirely a hero, just acting in ways that are more independent than most would appreciate. He could be a member of The Organization, acting as a mole in the Hero Association. He could be an entirely amoral person, aligning himself to one group or another as suits his goals and all would be consistent with what we don't know about him. Once he declares who he is, we'll be down to many fewer possibilities.  -- myself, Reddit post   

“Everything that can be used must be used.”  With that, Drive Knight has finally told us who he is.   He is highly calculating and will use anything he can to achieve his ends.  At the expense of anyone and anything. 

What to make of all of this? One thing we can be certain of. Drive Knight really hates Bofoi, considers him a threat and reads the worst possible motives into his actions. He wastes no time in trying to sew suspicion about Bofoi whenever possible.   Why?  We don’t know. 

At its most benign, Drive Knight may be like Zombieman and the House of Evolution, seeing evil in Metal Knight and a grand conspiracy where none actually exists.   A less benign possibility is that Drive Knight may be projecting his ambitions onto Metal Knight and describing what he fears Metal Knight has in possession in order to thwart them (whoever ‘them’ is). 

Since we as readers have a quasi-omniscient view of the story, we know that quite a lot of what Drive Knight said about Metal Knight is factually wrong.  We know that he is wrong bout the circumstances under which Bofoi lost the Metal Knight.  We know that he is wrong about its fate.  We know most of all that he is absolutely wrong about Bofoi wanting the capable heroes scattered or defeated.  Dr. Bofoi has been furious with the Hero Association executives for risking the lives of any heroes raiding the Monster Association precisely because he feared what might happen if the ranks of the heroes were thinned. 

Interesting that G5 is definitely its own entity!  Once I realised that the tactical transformations formed around Drive Knight, I’d started to entertain the possibility that the two of them were the same.  That said...

I could well understand Drive Knight having done his own work to understand the nature of the strong monsters actually in the Monster Association base.  However, there is one piece of information G5 has that it could not have reasonably obtained without Drive Knight sharing it. 

When they ran off a second time, they ran off separately.   More pertinently, there’s no reason for G5 to show Sekingar this information: it puts psychological pressure on him, but if G5 just wants to kill him, there’s no point to it.  Instead, Drive Knight drawing attention to the support team and G5 drawing attention to the hostage act as a double-team interrogation to see if Sekingar has some way yet of reaching Blast in time of most extreme need. 

We’ve also learned that Blast is all but retired. It falls into line with what we've gleaned from the webcomic and suggests that he's quite old.

He's just a poor boy from a poor family: spare him his life!  (and limbs)

Dr Kuseno's occasionally prodding Genos to not forget his primary task of finding the 'mad' cyborg, as well as his warning not to fight it alone both make great sense.   In OPM, you get good at what you actually  practice.  Fighting monsters as a hero has been very useful for Genos developing raw fighting prowess. It has done nothing to prepare him to face the cruel, conniving, and creative people that the not-quite-mad cyborg and those behind him are.  Watching Genos ask straightforwardly what the situation and contrasting it to Drive Knight's complicated narrative was to realise how painfully naive Genos is. 

It's all very well to counsel non-engagement, but you deal with the monster before you: situations aren't neat and don't wait until you feel prepared. I'd hoped for another conversation between Genos and Drive Knight but this looks far more dangerous.  I've no doubt that Genos won't die, but his participation in this battle could be VERY short.

So many ways this story could wend.  A few that come to mind:

The most tragic:Drive Knight convinces Genos of his predicament, perhaps offering data on the cadres as a sweetener and Genos escorts him and the fallen heroes out of the war zone.  As soon as Drive Knight is sure Genos is safely underground, he'll kill Sekingar... and probably the support heroes into the bargain. If he burns them, the only fire-wielder known is Genos.  If he's really clever, catching up with Waganma and Food Battler, dragging them back and burning them too creates a compelling narrative of Genos (already suspected of colluding with the monsters) waylaying the support heroes as they tried to retreat and killing them all.  Drive Knight can show up at the Hero Association and continue his activities. No witnesses, a convenient scapegoat, and near total freedom to carry on his agenda.

Mortal combat. No matter what changes to the webcomic ONE has planned, Genos isn't about to get killed, so Drive Knight is either going to have to run for it or else get killed. Knowing who Drive Knight is, there is no possibility that he would defeat Genos and leave the latter alive -- even if he were that careless, Genos announcing that any enemy that gives him trouble will find that he comes back very quickly and very much stronger would put paid to that. (yes, he’s so naive!)    Either way, Drive Knight won't be working as a hero any longer.   For Genos, victory is likely to be expensive -- he runs the risk of sustaining critical damage, which will force him to retreat, or of wasting precious, precious energy that he could really use later.   Very interesting repercussions will definitely follow.

Hit him in the heroism. Drive Knight could use the heroes and Sekingar as hostages and get Genos to allow him to leave unmolested. He won't be coming back to the HA but it looks like he knows all he needs to. Genos won't like it, but as a person who has long established his willingness to take incredible punishment to protect others from harm, he won't have any other course of action.  I suspect that this is the most likely outcome.

Whatever actually happens! Only ONE (and Murata) know.  I know I need the next instalment!

Bonus question. Where is the cat?  Drive Knight dropped it when G5 showed up and it hasn't been in evidence since.

[bastardnev]

Broken (But Not Beyond Repair)

yknow i spent a whole lot of time referring to this as “the valentine’s fic” but meanwhile valentine’s day is mentioned like Once during this whole story. Nevertheless !

tagging: @sailor-slam-dunk @residentjoth @riveliciousx @lambchopviking @storyranger @nerdbrose (lemme kno if u wanna be added to my tag list !!)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: World Wrestling Entertainment, Professional Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Mustafa Ali/Pac | Adrian Neville Characters: Mustafa Ali, Pac | Adrian Neville Additional Tags: Valentine's Day, sorta but not really, its more mentioned than anything else tbh, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, i guess, Making Up, au where nev still lives in orlando and also has a big fucking dog, mustafa worries a lot, Implied Sexual Content Series: Part 2 of Jess Has Too Many Fics In Her Notes Summary: By all means, Mustafa shouldn't have even been thinking about Neville anymore. It had been over two years since he left WWE, and they were both at completely different points in their careers. It was pointless to dwell on the past or give any real thought to what could have been — all that mattered anymore was what the future held, and it looked like their respective paths were headed in opposite directions.

And yet, despite all of this, there Mustafa was. Seated in his rental car, in the parking lot of some cheap motel he had planned to spend the night at. Neville's number dialed on his phone.

(link to ao3)

By all means, Mustafa shouldn't have even been thinking about Neville anymore. It had been over two years since he left WWE, and they were both at completely different points in their careers. It was pointless to dwell on the past or give any real thought to what could have been — all that mattered anymore was what the future held, and it looked like their respective paths were headed in opposite directions.

And yet, despite all of this, there Mustafa was. Seated in his rental car, in the parking lot of some cheap motel he had planned to spend the night at. Neville's number dialed on his phone.

Mustafa stared down at the screen, squinting against the bright light. The rain rhythmically tapping against the roof of the car left him in almost a trance-like state as he debated whether or not to hit the "call" button. This wasn't the first time he found himself in this position — he was tempted to get in touch with Neville just about every time he and the rest of the WWE crew passed through Orlando during live event tours. He would usually only get as far as his contacts list, however, and he was never actually able to bring himself to make that move. Once he learned that the latest show would see him in the area again, he assumed that things would play out as they normally did, with him backing out at the last second and pretending like he had zero interest in seeing Neville.

But that didn't happen. This time, the urge to get in contact was so strong , far more than it ever had been. To the point where Mustafa was in the car and fully prepared to drive right over to Neville’s house. He had no idea what exactly it was, but he had arrived in town with an almost overwhelming feeling to just bite the bullet and do it. A sense that he needed to stop putting off something that was killing him not to do. He wasn't even sure where it came from, but it was certainly there — a feeling that he needed to reach out, to call, to talk to Neville again after so long of little to no contact.

To possibly rekindle a relationship that had meant so much to him.

To put it bluntly, Mustafa and Neville's relationship was, at its core, supposed to be just sex. Nothing more than that. "No strings attached", they always insisted. Once a week ( maybe twice, if they were feeling up to it), they would meet up in a hotel room to fool around, to blow off steam after a show. After Raw, after 205 — they weren't picky. Whenever they were both in the same place and could meet up, they spent the night together. It was nothing more than that, at least at first.

But then, it... changed. It had been gradual — Mustafa hadn't even noticed it right away — but the times they shared started to become something else. Before all they had done was meet up, do what they had to do, and then go their separate ways before anyone knew what they were doing. They did their best to make sure that no one even had a suspicion that there was anything going on between the two of them, hence why Mustafa would always go back to his hotel room after they finished. Whoever he was rooming with normally didn't ask too many questions so long as he was back from his "late night walk" ( horrible excuse, but it worked) at a reasonable time.

Then Mustafa started to actually stay the night with Neville. The first time he had simply been too tired and lazy to leave. The second time had followed a very similar format, only Neville didn't put up as much of a fight. Every time it happened thereafter, Neville cared less and less, and before either of them knew it it had become an established part of their routine, their desire not to clue anyone in on their secret be damned.

And then came the invites to each other's houses. It had started as a way to save money whenever tapings were in Chicago or Orlando, but before long they had becomed planned affairs, with one spending anywhere from a day to a whole weekend at the other's home. They acted like this was so they could hook up easier (and more frequently), but the fact was that those nights were... fun . More fun than they thought they would be. It wasn't just sex anymore — they were cooking together, and buying way too many snacks together, and eating those same snacks as they binged the dumbest fucking movies together. (Stupid Movie Fridays, they'd taken to calling them, though they weren't opposed to other days of the week being devoted to corny films.)

They were... getting closer. Close enough that Mustafa wasn't sure if they should be labeled as acquaintances, or as friends, or as... something even more than that.

Whatever the hell they were, it all came to a screeching halt in October of 2017, when Neville left the company and didn’t look back.

Mustafa still texted him after everything happened, but it was clear that things weren't how they used to be. Neville was distracted, so caught up in the drama of requesting his release that he didn't seem to have time to talk with him anymore. It wasn't like Mustafa didn't understand — though he'd never been through the process himself, he could only imagine how stressful it must be, especially given the specifics of Neville's situation. Not to mention that his own career picked up notably only a few short months later, and he hadn't done much better on the consistent communication front. This was far from being a one-sided issue.

What had gotten to Mustafa the most, though, was how abrupt it all was. How one moment the two of them were talking, and laughing, and genuinely enjoying one another's company more than they ever thought they would, only for all of it to suddenly stop. How they used to text each other the most ridiculous and pointless shit, only for their messaging to slowly taper off until it ceased altogether.

As of that moment, in February of 2020, contact between them was nonexistent. Like they were total strangers.

Mustafa wanted so badly to change that.

His thumb was hovering precariously over the "call" button. It was such a simple thing to do, but he was still having so much trouble with it. If he did that, then Neville would pick up, and then two of them would be talking again for the first time in years. He would get what he wanted. It was so easy, so doable .

Even so, he was hesitant. There was no guarantee that Neville would pick up to begin with. It was possible that he would see who was calling him and immediately reject the call, or let it ring and ring until Mustafa eventually gave up and left him alone. Worse yet, he might have deleted Mustafa's number, and he would hit him with a dreaded "Who is this?" the moment he answered. Each of those situations sent a chill down his spine, and it made him want to turn off his phone and forget about this plan like he always did.

But Mustafa couldn't let those worst-case scenarios get to him. Not anymore. He needed to do it, and he needed to do it right then and there. Otherwise, it would likely never happen.

With that, he made the call.

Bringing the phone up to his ear, Mustafa chewed on his lower lip. He listened to the rings, first one, then two. His heart was pounding in his chest by the time the fifth ring rolled around. A little voice was yelling at him from the back of his mind, telling him that he'd made a huge mistake and should just hang up the phone already. It was clear that Neville didn't want to talk to him — if he did, he would've picked up. It was only a matter of time before he got sent to voicemail and was forced to either hang up or leave some embarrassing message for Neville to delete—

"Ali?"

"Oh—" Mustafa's whole body tensed at the sound of Neville's voice coming from the receiver. He'd actually picked up — shit, shit, shit . He scrambled for something to say, anything . "...Hiya."

Real smooth, dumbass . "Hello..." Neville responded tentatively. God , it had been way too long since Mustafa last heard him. He probably would have enjoyed the moment more if he didn't just make a complete fool out of himself.

"What, ah...” Just say something! “What're you up to?"

"I'm... at home." Neville still sounded wary. Mustafa couldn’t exactly blame him.

"You had a match this week, right?" Mustafa remembered seeing tweets about it on his timeline. Reading that Neville had won had put him in quite the good mood for the rest of the night.

"I did."

"Good for you." Mustafa nodded. “Makin’ moves.”

Then, the line fell silent, and Mustafa had no choice but to come to terms with the fact that he did not plan this well — or at all, really. All those nights of internal arguments and wondering about how a potential phone call between him and Neville would play out ultimately failed him. He had no idea what to say next, or how to get to the point without making himself look like an even bigger idiot.

Fortunately for him, Neville was the one who eventually broke the silence. "Ali, what's going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I— Are you kidding? You just called me out of absolutely nowhere. Why?"

“...Oh, that.” What else would he be talking about?!

“Yeah, that .” The tone left Neville’s voice and, quieter, he added, “Is everything alright?"

Mustafa swallowed. There, that was his opening. "Everything's fine, it's just..." He paused. "I... WWE's in Orlando this weekend.”

Neville was silent for a beat. "...Is that so?"

"Mhm. I just got to my motel a little while ago. Haven't even gotten out of the car yet, though, because of this rain." Taking a deep breath through his nose, he said, "I... was thinking about you. Wanted to know how things were."

“I see...” The line went quiet again, the only sound being that of Neville’s breathing and the rain, which seemed to have only gotten worse in the time they were talking. Mustafa was dreading eventually having to get out of the car.

“I-I know it’s sudden,” Mustafa explained, an attempt to save himself from this awkward situation. “And that you probably didn’t expect to hear from me.”

“I definitely didn’t.”

“Yeah... But I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure things were good.”

“They’re... They’re fine, thank you.” After a beat, “And you?”

“Same here.” Mustafa looked out the raindrop-speckled window. “I’m tired as hell, but... Still, it’s all good.”

This conversation needed to end. It was going nowhere, and Mustafa knew this. Hearing from Neville again was great, but all he was doing was embarrassing himself. Clearing his throat, he said, “Well... I guess I should be going. Still gotta get my room.”

“You haven’t even got one yet?” Neville asked. “What do you plan on doing if there isn’t one available?”

“I’ve slept in enough cars during my career to be okay with it. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t remember ever saying I was worried.”

Mustafa snorted. “You haven’t changed a bit, you know that?”

“At least I’m consistent.”

“That, you are...” Mustafa licked his lips. “I’ll... talk to you later, maybe, okay?”

“Alright...”

Mustafa sighed softly. Here’s to hoping I’ll actually have the balls to call him again after this. He thought to himself as he brought the phone away from his ear. Considering how long it had taken him to initiate this five minute chat, it would probably take him an eternity to do it all a second time.

He was just about to hang up when he heard Neville say, “Wait!”

The phone was back to Mustafa’s ear in a flash. “Yes?”

Neville seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he asked, "If it’s not too far from your motel, do you... want to come over for a bit? Just until this storm lets up."

Mustafa’s eyes widened. “U-Uh...” He stammered, very much caught off guard. He had wanted to go to Neville’s house earlier, but he didn’t expect him to straight up invite him , completely unprovoked.

“If it’s too much trouble, then don’t worry about it,” Neville backtracked. “I know the weather is messy—“

“No it’s not,” Mustafa cut him off. “I mean, yes, it is, but I can still drive in it."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. You know I'm a good driver."

"I know you're a slow driver."

"Close enough. I’ll... I’ll be over in a little bit.”

He heard Neville breathe out (in relief?) “Alright. You, uh, still know the way?”

“Yeah, I do.” Mustafa could never forget.

~

The one benefit to the rain being so heavy was that the roads were mostly clear. The few cars that were out at that hour were driven by people getting home late from work and lovesick idiots like Mustafa. He had to be careful, of course, since an accident was the absolute last thing he wanted at that moment (and always, really), but he maintained a decent speed as he went down familiar streets and made familiar turns, ones that he hadn't made in ages. All so that he could see Neville in-person again.

What would the two of them even do ? That question was bouncing around inside of Mustafa’s head the whole time he was driving. He... highly doubted that they would hook up, given the amount of time they had been apart. It was unlikely that they would so easily fall back into their old pattern. Chances were they would spend more time catching up (or sitting in uncomfortable silence) than anything else. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that — happy? Disappointed? An odd combination of both?

No matter how he might have felt, it was definitely happening. And before Mustafa knew it, he was pulling up to the front of Neville’s home, parking in what had been his usual spot only two years ago.

Mustafa shut the car off. Staring up at the house, he realized that it was no different than it had been the last time he visited. Very... ordinary. There weren’t any decorations up, despite Valentine's Day being just around the corner. He wasn’t quite sure what he expected, really — Neville had never been all that into decorating. Thought it was all a scam and a waste of time, even though it made his home stick out like a sore thumb during the holidays. Just as he’d said on the phone during their chat, he was as consistent as ever. The familiarity was... comforting.

Bracing himself for the weather, Mustafa stepped out into the rain, taking a moment to lock the car before hustling up to the front porch. His heart was thumping as he climbed up the steps. Come on, you can do this, don’t chicken out now. All the worst-case scenarios were starting to creep their way back into his mind, telling him that this visit was pointless. That they were far too different now, and getting together again even for a little while would only make things worse somehow. Mustafa stared intently down the doorbell, as if it were challenging him with its faint glow, and he pressed it before he could talk himself out of it. Screw that pessimism — he was already there. If talking to each other was bad, then running away when he was expected was even worse.

And, truthfully, leaving unnoticed at that point was impossible. The door was opened only a moment after he'd rung the bell, like Neville had been standing there waiting for him on the other side, and just like that Mustafa was once again faced with the man who he’d spent countless nights with only a few years ago. A soft, shy smile spread across Mustafa’s face. “...Hey, Nev.”

“Hi...” Neville’s expression mirrored his — his smile was still stunning. “It’s... certainly been awhile, hasn't it?”

“Sure has.” Mustafa’s hands were shoved deep in his pockets. Too long. Mustafa wasn't sure if he should say this last thought aloud or not.

“Well, don’t just stand there — it’s pouring.” Neville stepped aside. The rumble of thunder off in the distance did an equally good job of reminding Mustafa of the bad weather, and he nodded, making sure to wipe his feet as best as he could on the mat before he walked inside. "Just put your shoes with the rest of mine."

"Got it." Some of Neville's shoes were lined up against the opposite wall, surprisingly neat. This alone made it clear that Neville had managed to do (or, scrambled to do) some last minute cleaning before he showed up. They were usually a mess, one that Mustafa teased him about almost every visit. He couldn't say anything this time, however, and instead he went about slipping his own pair off.

Then, a large black shape came charging at him from the end of the hallway.

“Winston!!” Mustafa grinned, and he crouched down, scratching the bullmastiff on his head once he stopped in front of him. The dog responded by licking his face, and Mustafa laughed. “I missed you!”

“Looks like he missed you, too,” Neville mused from behind him, and Mustafa heard him close the door.

“It’s been way too long, boy-o!” Another rub to the head. Winston's tail was like a propeller, wagging rapidly. A paw came to rest on Mustafa's arm, and he faltered a little. "Hey, don't knock me over now."

"I don't mean to interrupt this tender reunion, but can I get you something to drink? Water, maybe?"

Mustafa looked up to Neville, Winston licking his hands now in an attempt to regain his attention. "That'd be good, thanks."

Neville gave him a nod and made his way towards the kitchen. Winston turned and followed him right away, which caused Mustafa's eyebrows to raise. "Wait, where're you goin'? I thought you wanted me to pet you!"

"He sees me going to the kitchen, he follows," Neville yelled back. "Seems to think me being in here automatically means he'll get a treat."

"Doesn't it?"

A pause. "...Well, yeah, but..." Neville trailed off, and Mustafa couldn't help but chuckle and roll his eyes. Who could've guessed the "Bastard" would be such a pushover?

Now alone in the hallway, Mustafa took a quick look around, noting some of the pictures on the wall. He wanted to say it was an evenly distributed assortment of photos, shots of family and the dog alike, but it was clear that there were just a few more of Winston than anything else. Neville's love for him seemed to have grown tenfold in the time he and Mustafa had been apart. Mustafa couldn't help but wish that he had a pet of his own. Winston had filled that role for awhile, but... well, it was hard for him to actually bond with an animal when he wasn't even speaking to its owner.

Mustafa decided to head into the living room then, and he sat down on the couch, shifting in the plush seat as he waited for Neville (and Winston, hopefully) to come back. The rain was still pattering away against the window, and Mustafa silently hoped that it would let up before the end of the night. Having to go back out into such a downpour and drive all the way to his motel — the same one he still didn't have a room at, now that he thought about it — would not be fun. The more he put it off, the more likely it seemed he would be spending that damp night in the backseat of his rental...

Mustafa shook his head and tried to get rid of the thought. He would worry about that later, after he did... whatever it was that he planned on doing with Neville. He still hadn't figured that out.

Sitting there and looking around the room, it was all so... familiar to Mustafa, just as so many other things were. Everything that had happened since he arrived at the house had been apart of his and Neville's routine — the old one, from before everything changed. It was all the same, from Winston greeting him at the front door to the drink offer. There was even some Netflix movie paused on the TV. Mustafa admittedly didn't recognize the name of it, but if he knew Neville half as well as he thought he did, it had to be tacky. Stupid Movie Night lived on, even though they hadn't actually gotten together to have one in years.

Mustafa missed this. All of this.

"Here you are," Neville at last returned to the room, handing Mustafa his glass.

"Thanks." Mustafa took it from him. Winston strolled in behind Neville, and Mustafa watched as he followed him closely, sniffing his lap after he sat down at the opposite end of the couch.

"I have nothing more for you, why are you looking at me like that?" Neville gave the dog a scratch behind the ear. "You've already gotten loads of treats tonight, take it easy."

"I see he's just as much of a mooch as he was before."

" Oh yeah. Actually, he might have gotten worse, if that's possible." Winston jumped up on the couch and settled himself as best as he could between Mustafa and Neville, the latter going right back to patting him on the head. "He's my boy, though. Wouldn't trade him for the world."

And then, without warning, it was quiet again.

The room that had just a moment ago been filled with their voices was now filled only with the sound of the rain. Mustafa licked his lips, and he stared at Neville, whose gaze was trained on Winston. When he looked to Mustafa, their eyes met, and Mustafa gave him an awkward smile (which was probably more like a grimace) before turning his attention to the paused movie on the screen. His nerves were beginning to make a comeback, just in time for he and Neville to have the first face-to-face conversation they'd had in a long time. He cursed his luck and, once again, his past self for not properly thinking through his plan for getting back in touch with Neville — he'd gotten as far as "call him and hope for the best" and left it at that.

Neville was the one that invited him over. He wouldn't have done that if there wasn't even a tiny part of him that wanted to see him, to talk to him. Even so, Mustafa was still hesitant, worried that he might slip up and say something that would do the opposite of saving their relationship. But he needed to take a chance. He'd told himself when he was standing on the porch that it was far too late to back out, and it was especially too late now that he was sitting on Neville's damn couch. Taking a slow sip of his water, Mustafa cleared his throat, and he made the first move. "Uh... So, things have been good with you?"

No sooner had the words left his mouth did Mustafa realize he'd asked him almost the exact same question on the phone earlier. However, Neville didn't seem to notice (or maybe he just didn't care). "They have." His hand was on Winston's back now, fingers slowly trailing over his fur. "Busy, but good."

"Weren't you wrestling on that cruise awhile ago?" At Neville's nod, "Damn, that must've been cool."

"It was... something, I'll say that much. Never thought I'd see myself wrestling in the middle of the ocean."

"Isn't there, like, no phone service on cruise ships, though? How did you even survive?"

"All the questions you could ask me about that trip, and you ask me about the wi-fi? I don't live entirely on social media like you do."

"Yeah, yeah..." Mustafa was tempted to take out his phone and begin scrolling through Twiter just to mess with Neville, but he decided against it. That would come later, once he was sure about where their relationship was at. "Either way, I'm really glad you've been able to find so much success."

Neville snorted. "Me too. And how about yourself? What've you been up to?"

"Things are..." Mustafa pursed his lips as he tried to come up with the right words. "They're okay. A little slow, but definitely not bad."

"Is that the polite version of 'I've been almost exclusively in dark matches for the last month'?"

He grinned sheepishly. "So, you know about that..."

"I haven't actually sat down and watched WWE programming in full in ages, but I still try to watch your stuff whenever I can. Once you stopped showing up, I kinda figured you were— ah, how do you put it? 'Stealing the show before the show'?"

"Hey, don't use my words against me like that!"

"Don't use them all the time, then! Seriously, you post the same thing after every dark match. Usually with a shirtless pic attached."

"Ooh, so you know about those , too?" Mustafa waggled his eyebrows. "You like 'em?"

Neville gave no response to this, though the hint of pink on his cheeks told Mustafa everything he needed to know. Cute .

Putting his glass down on the coffee table, Mustafa decided to follow Neville's example, and he also started to stroke Winston's back, the dog himself already sleeping. Mustafa had never known an animal that fell asleep so quickly until he met Winston. He nodded towards the TV. "I see you're watching a movie."

Neville looked to the screen. "Oh, yeah, that's right..." Had he forgotten all about it?

"Is it dumb?"

"Absolutely. You know I never watch anything good by choice."

"I knew it. So, what, is it a horror film?"

"It is, and it is atrocious , even by my standards. Sooner or later I'm gonna come across one that's actually decent, and I'm not gonna know how to handle it."

Mustafa chuckled. "There's no shortage of bad horror films, so I'd say your odds of finding a good one are pretty slim."

"Thankfully. It's, um..." Neville stopped suddenly, and Mustafa's brows furrowed.

"What?"

"It's... nothing, don't worry about it."

A statement sure to make a worrier like Mustafa worry every time he heard it. "Are you sure? You can tell me."

"Eh, you'll just laugh..."

"I will not." Mustafa's tone was gentle, yet firm. "I promise."

Neville blinked at him, then back at the screen. Mustafa couldn't even begin to imagine what it was that he was so hesitant to tell him. Of course, if Neville insisted that he didn't want to talk about it, then Mustafa would back off, but... Still, he didn't want Neville to think that he couldn't trust him not to make fun of him. Not if he wanted them to be back together for good.

Fortunately, Mustafa's prying seemed to be enought convince Neville. A moment later, they locked eyes again, and Neville quietly admitted, "Well... These movies just aren't the same when you're watching them alone. Sometimes I miss having someone to make fun of them with."

Oh. Mustafa's lips parted, his hand coming to a halt on Winston's back. This sudden stoppage caused Neville's hand to bump into his — ever so slightly, their fingers were touching. He expected Neville to flinch back, but he didn't, and his gaze was just as steady as it had been before. Mustafa couldn't bring himself to look away. Was this... an admission that he wanted he two of them to get back together...? Was that the sign that Mustafa had been looking for? He swallowed. "Um... Neville—"

BANG!

A sudden crash of thunder startled all three of them. The lights flickered, and a second later they went out, plunging the room into complete darkness. The loud noise prompted the now-wide awake Winston to leap off of the couch and bolt out into the hallway. "Winston, no!" Mustafa called after him.

"Christ, not again..." Neville griped. "Now is not the time for this..."

"No kidding..." Mother Nature sure had interesting timing.

The flashlight from Neville's phone was then turned on. Neville squinted at the screen. "Damn thing's gonna die if I keep the light on all night..." He muttered. He then stood. "I'll be right back, gotta go grab some candles."

"Can you check on Winston?" Mustafa pleaded to Neville's silhouette, which was already moving out of the room. "Make sure he's okay?"

"He's probably just in the kitchen — that's his hub whenever the power goes out." The little bit of light that had been in the living room faded away as Neville went down the hallway. "Yep, he's here. Hidin' out behind the island."

Mustafa breathed a sigh of relief. Winston was still scared, but at least he wasn't hurt. That was what mattered. "Good. You think he'll come back in with us?"

"Probably not." Neville's voice was fainter now — he must have gone into another room, possibly his bedroom. Mustafa was disappointed to hear this, but he had to have faith that Neville was wrong. He was sure Winston would rejoin them at some point before Mustafa needed to leave (he couldn't leave without properly saying goodbye, after all).

It was only when Neville re-entered the room holding two scented candles and a box of matches that Mustafa remembered the significance of those items.

The candles. How could he have forgotten about the damn candles ? He watched as Neville placed them down on the coffee table and went about lighting them, his brows furrowed as he moved the match from one wick to the next. That look of (almost unnecessary) concentration was such a familiar sight to Mustafa, one that he'd grown to like quite a bit during their time together, but also one that he had not seen for far too long. Now that he was looking at it again, he was transported to a different time, back when he'd first been invited to Neville's house. It very likely wasn't the same candles, but some of very similar scents and colors had been lit when he'd arrived. He teased Neville at first — he never thought he was a Mood Lighting kind of guy — but it turned out that he was just into candles. There was at least one in most of the rooms in the house. They had been a trademark of sorts for Neville.

Mustafa had lost sight of that fact after their separation. And now, on this gloomy, rainy night, he was once again being reminded of something that he'd missed terribly.

"There..." Neville's voice interrupted Mustafa's reminiscing, and he sat back down on the couch — notably closer than he had before, Mustafa realized. "That should be good enough."

Mustafa stared at the small, dancing flames. "Y...Yeah, it's fine," he replied.

"Something bothering you?" Shit. Mustafa had made his mood just a little too obvious.

"No, not really," he fibbed.

"Are you sure?" Then, "Am I... Am I sitting to close to you, or...?"

"No!" Mustafa quickly assured. "No, that's not it. It's..." He considered lying again, but after pushing Neville into talking a few moments ago he felt he had no right to keep any secrets from him — not to mention that Neville might get the wrong idea again. It was best to tell the truth. "These candles remind me a lot of the times we used to hang out. You had them lit all the time."

Neville followed his gaze, also becoming entranced by the fire. "Ah... Yes, that's right. The cinnamon one was your favorite, wasn't it?"

"It was."

"I wish I still had one, but it burnt out a long time ago. I didn't think to buy another one, to be honest."

Because Neville associated that scent with him. That had to be the reason. Neville had no reason to get a candle of someone's favorite scent if that "someone" wasn't even around to appreciate it. "I..."

"Hmm?"

"I..." Mustafa swallowed. "I miss you. A lot."

Neville didn't say anything to that. Mustafa continued, "I miss seeing you backstage, and talking to you regularly, and watching you wrestle, and just... being with you. Those nights we spent together were so fun , and I looked forward to them. I loved watching dumbass movies with you, and eating way too many sweets, and... everything else. But all of it— it just stopped . Out of nowhere. And I really, really wish that it didn't.

"I... I know you and I are both busy these days in our own ways. And I know that maintaining a relationship with our packed schedules is gonna be tough. But... I'm willing to give it a try, if you are. You obviously don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and I'm more than okay with you deciding that this isn't something that you're interested in, but I wanted to at the very least let you know how I feel."

Satisfied with his rambling, Mustafa took a deep breath, leaning back into the couch. He folded his hands in his lap and waited anxiously for Neville to reply — if he ever did. He was still staring at the candles, his expression unreadable. Maybe Mustafa's sudden confession was a lot to take in at once. Especially since it came out of seemingly nowhere, and was prompted by candles of all things. Is he... okay?

But then, faintly, Neville at last said something. "...I'm the one that fucked everything up."

"What...?"

"I'm the one that stopped texting you. I should've done more to keep in touch with you."

"But it's not like I ever tried to start a conversation," Mustafa argued. "I stopped, too. I'm just as responsible for what happened. You can't only blame yourself."

"I know, but..." Neville chewed his lower lip. "But I care about you. I never stopped caring about you, not even when I was sorting out my contract. And I should've done a better job at showing it. Instead, I just..." He shrugged. "I just let our relationship die."

Mustafa debated it for a moment, but ultimately he decided to take a chance, and he reached over and took hold of Neville's hand. For the second time that evening, Neville did not shy away from the contact. "It doesn't have to stay dead if you don't want it to. We can... try again."

"I want to," Neville admitted. "But like you said, it's not going to be easy. We're always traveling, and we're on completely different work schedules, and..."

"We can make it work," Mustafa cut him off. "It'll take some getting used to, but I think we can do it."

"But what if everything happens all over again? What if... What if something comes up and we just stop talking again?"

"Do you want that to happen?"

"No, absolutely not."

"Then let's try our hardest not to let it happen. We don't have to text every single day or anything, but if we both try to send each other something every now and again, things could work out just fine."

Neville swallowed. "...You're really serious about this?"

"I am," Mustafa said, clearly. "I wasn't lying before when I said that I missed you, and everything that came along with you. I wanna give us one more chance, see where things go. And if you want to, then... I say we go for it. What do we got to lose?"

Neville, whose eyes had been glued to the flames, turned his head to meet Mustafa's gaze. The soft, orange glow from the candles illuminated his face. The light gave him a haunting, mesmerizing appearance. One that Mustafa couldn't look away from even if he'd wanted to.

He looked... amazing.

Mustafa couldn't help himself from slowly leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips.

It was soft at first. Mustafa wanted to provide Neville with ample time to pull away. It wasn't until he felt Neville gently reciprocating the kiss that he deepened it, a hand moving up to cup Neville's cheek. Mustafa's lips parted, and Neville's tongue slid into his mouth. The intimacy was almost dizzying. This was what he'd been waiting for. After all that debating about whether or not to make that phone call, this was what he'd wanted. What he'd missed so badly.

It had been over two years since their last kiss. Somehow, this one was the best of all.

If only Winston hadn't decided that that was when he'd choose to return to the living room.

All the two of them heard was another rumble of thunder and the sound of nails frantically clicking on the floor before the dog leapt onto the couch, where Neville had been sitting earlier. "Oh my God—" Neville gasped, putting a hand on his chest. "What the hell, Winston?!"

Surprised as he was, Mustafa couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, he came back! That's good, right?"

"Would've been good any other time..." Neville moped, but Mustafa putting an arm around his shoulders prompted him to smile, and a moment later he moved in for a second kiss. Just as good as the first one.

"...Hey," Neville breathed out against his lips. Between kisses, he continued, "Did you... ever end up getting a motel room...?"

Mustafa froze, eyes wide. In the excitement of being back together with Neville, he'd forgotten about the other date he'd be having that evening — the one with the backseat of his rental. "Uh..." He grinned sheepishly. "No, I did not."

Neville smirked. Mustafa's heart rate ticked up just a bit. "Would you like to stay with me tonight? We still have some... catching up to do, you know."

Mustafa's expression mirrored his. Suddenly, his sleeping in the backseat seemed a hell of a lot less likely. "You're right..."

"Is that a 'yes', then?"

"It is. But , I left my bags in the trunk. With my pajamas in them."

This statement caused Neville to chuckle, and he kissed Mustafa again, tugging on his lower lip with his teeth when he pulled back. "Hmm, Mustafa..."

"What?"

"I wasn't anticipating either one of us sleeping with clothes on tonight..."

[kapisola]

@fatestouch

✩ for Avs and Cecil!

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?  - Avelan

Who threatens to leave but never actually does? - I don’t think either would, but maybe Cecil? 

Who actually keeps their word and leaves? - Both, I believe 

Who trashes the house? - Neither. At least not on purpose…

Do either of them get physical?  - Maybe shoulder grabbing and the occasional affectionate touch when they start to work things out?

How often do they argue/disagree? Who is the first to apologize? - Often, on minor things. On major things, it depends on who was wrong. And most of the time that’s Avelan, I think.

Sex:

Who is on top? Who is on the bottom?  - They switch around, though I would say Avs usually is unless Cecil’s riding him.

Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? - ……*gestures at them.* A bit of a bondage kink, power play, role-playing—

Who’s dominant in bed? - Usually Avelan, recently Cecil…<.<….

Is head ever in the equation? If so, who is better at performing it? - Of course. And Avs would say that he is, but he also really loves watching Cecil give it to him.

Ever had sex in public? -I think the most public they’ve ever done it was in the living room, while other people were still in the house…

Who moans the most? Who leaves the most marks? Who screams the loudest? - Cecil moans and screams the loudest, and Avelan leaves the most marks. Especially nail marking on the hips….

Who is the more experienced of the two? - Avelan? Just because he’s older so…ye…

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? - Both, depending on the mood.

Rough or soft? - Usually, it’s pretty rough and fast. But they do have the rare night of soft and slow, and taking their time.

How long do they usually last? - *laughs*

Is protection used? - I don’t think so? When they first started sleeping with each other, probably. But after they became exclusive, that habit just faded out and neither of them really have to worry about getting the other pregnant, so…

Does it ever get boring? - *laughs again*

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? - Probably somewhere in Kapisola, in the stables when all the animals were like gone for a bit.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? If so, how many children do your muses want/have? - They currently have Lydia! And as far as Avelan is giving me right now, he’s not really thinking about having other children at the moment.

Who is the favorite parent? - …….JJ—*feels Avelan looming over my shoulder*

Who is the authoritative parent? - Avelan is, of course 

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? - Cecil

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? - ….Cecil 

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Who goes to parent teacher interviews?  - Both, I would thinking. Or they switch off depending on whether or now they’re busy

Who changes the diapers? Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? -Neither of them did this ;u;

Who spends the most time with the children? - Currently, I think Cecil 

Who packs their lunch boxes? - Avelan 

Who gives their children ‘the talk’? - ……They haven’t gotten there yet… 

Who cleans up after the kids? - Lydia has been raised to clean up after herself…..but maybe Avelan, on occasion.

Who worries the most? - Both tend to worry quite a bit, I think 

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? - Between the two of them, maybe Avelan? But from other people—probably Nero.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? - Both, but Avelan is less likely to admit it.

Who is the little spoon? - Avs likes to be little spoon, a lot!

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? - ……*gestures to the both of them* 

Who struggles to keep their hands to themselves? - *gestures to the both of them, again.*

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? - I would think pretty long. I see them falling asleep while cuddling, especially after a long day.

Who gives the most kisses? - Cecil tends to be the more affection of the two, so him 

What is their favourite non-sexual activity? - Sparring! …..Though that often gets sexual, too…

Where is their favourite place to cuddle? - The couch, or the bed. Avs likes more private areas where they can be alone

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? - Cecil

 How often do they get time to themselves? - Not as often as they did before Ascension, but I still think they’re able to have couple time a lot. Though Avelan would also like some strictly Avelan time, too

Sleeping:

Who snores? If both do, who snores the loudest? - I don’t think either of them snore, but their breathing gets deeper and louder? In that case, maybe Cecil since Avelan’s the lighter sleeper

Do they share a bed or sleep separately? If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? - They share a bed! And they cozy up =u=

Who talks in their sleep? - I see Cecil doing it a little bit?

What do they wear to bed? - Avelan usually just wears a pair of sleep pants. For Cecil, I think it would depend if you catch my drift…

Are either of your muses insomniacs? - Avelan, when he gets into his work and has a lot to do

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? - I know Avs doesn’t take sleeping pills, but he uses his sister’s sleep tea. I think Avs would recommend that Cecil use it, too, if he has trouble.

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? - Side by side for Avelan, but I think Cecil would octopus him

Who wakes up with bed hair? - Who wakes up with the MOST bed hair? Avelan.

Who wakes up first? - Avelan

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? - Avelan c:

What is their favourite sleeping position? Who hogs the sheets? - Avelan likes being little spoon! But I think Cecil would hog the sheets, just because Avs would probably be plenty warm 

Do they set an alarm each night? - Avelan does

Can a television be found in their bedroom? - Avelan says no. But there might be a radio. 

Who has nightmares? Who has ridiculous dreams? - Both for nightmares, though that was before. I’m not sure if Cecil would still have some now, as a god? As for ridiculous dreams, probably the both on occasion 

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? - …..I see Cecil doing this…

 Who makes the bed? What time is bed time? - Avelan, and he usually tries to go to bed as early as he can. But never earlier than 10 or something.

 Any routines/rituals before bed? - Drinking tea and washing up, for the most part. And talking about their days, if they need/want to.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? - Avs :D...

Work:

Who is the busiest? Who rakes in the highest income? -I would say Avelan is currently the busiest?

Are any of your muses unemployed? - No and yes. They’re gods, they don’t really need jobs. Not normal ones anywa.

Who takes the most sick days? - Cecil?

Who is more likely to turn up late to work? - Cecil 

Who sucks up to their boss? - They are the bosses!

What are their jobs? - God of Gaea, and God of The Night 

Who stresses the most? - Avelan 

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?  - I would say they enjoy them

Are your muses financially stable? - Very much so.

Home:

Who does the washing? Who takes out the trash? Who does the ironing? - I think they have people for that now, actuall?

Who does the cooking? Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? - Avelan. And Cecil. But I would like to think that Cecil is careful.

Who is messier? Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Who forgets to flush the toilet? - Cecil might be the messier one, but I wouldn’t say that he would go any of those other things.

Who is the prankster around the house? - Cecil. Definitely Cecil. And maybe Lydia now.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? - Avelan, but not really accidentally. And why would they take the car? They can teleport…

Who mows the lawn? - Avelan.

Who answers the telephone? Who does the vacuuming? - Avelan probably let’s Cecil handle the phone whenever possible. Probably his phone, too.

Who does the groceries? - Most groceries they can get from Kapisola, so I would say Avelan? 

Who takes the longest to shower? Who spends the most time in the bathroom? - Avelan. No question.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? -Nope!

How many cars do they own? - None. Well, Avs is hoping they have none. He says he gave the car he had away to Lazuli, along with the house.

Do they own their home or do they rent? - Own!

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Do they live in the city or in the country? Do they enjoy their surroundings? - We’ve discussed them moving before, but idk if we decided where? I see them living in that “skeleton house” on Merlow Isle, which now currently the peak of the new continent, once it’s finished being build.

What’s their song? - Love Will Find A Way <3

What do they do when they’re away from each other? - Their godly duties. And they’re pretty different have other things going on aside from each other, and that’s plenty

Where did they first meet? How did they first meet? - The Paradise café? And I would say through tindr, but that seemed like a crack meme so we can say Nero introduced them.

Who spends the most money when out shopping? - Ceeciilll—Avelllan? I’m not sure

Who’s more likely to flash their assets? - Both. *facepalms*

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? - Cecil, since Avelan is often more on the graceful and nimble side….

Any mental issues? - ….. ;u;’’’

Who’s terrified of bugs? Who kills the spiders around the house? - Neither? I think they’re both pretty okay with dealing with pests. And I don’t just mean bugs.

Their favourite place? - Hmm….speaking for both of them, I would say their new home. But speaking for Avs alone, Avs likes his tree.

Who pays the bills? - They got no bills to pay!

Do they have any fears for their future? - At the moment, I see most of their future fears concerning Lydia. In general, I can’t think of anything specific for them aside from the apocalypse, maybe.

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? - Avelan!

Who uses up all of the hot water? - Avelan….*shakes head* It’s all that hair.

-Who’s the tallest? - Avelan: *smirks*

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? - Cecil! But I see Avelan doing this, too. On the rare occasion he feels like being bad.

Who wanders around in their underwear? - Same answer as the above.

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? - Definitely Cecil.

What do they tease each other about? - Height. Age. Any stupid or clumsy moments Avelan each other may have.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? - Cecil.

Do they have mutual friends? - Aside from family, I would say Aile…….I…I don’t think I can think of anyone else…aside from maybe two or a few Angels?  

Who crushed first? - Cecil

 Any alcohol or substance related problems? - Avs drinks, but rarely allows himself to get wasted when he does. As for Cecil…there was an instance, recently ;u;’‘‘

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? - ….Cecil….orz

Who swears the most? - Avelan…? Though I think Cecil might be close.

[overthere-in-neverland]

Hey i was wondering if you could do one where the readers band is on tour with all time low and at night she sings herself to sleep and jack listens to her and starts developing a crush on her? You can change it up a bit so it doesn’t suck but thanks :)

AN Hey guys! Sorry it’s been three years since I’ve posted lmao. I think I’m slowly coming back to these. For one thing I’m at my job, and I work graveyard so I’m bored as hell. For another, I really miss creative writing. I’ll update you on my life if you want next time I visit this, but other than that, hello! I won’t be updating the halloween imagines for the time being, especially since I’m trying to come back to this. I know I had one  (1) request to update the side blog fanfics I had going on, but as for now, I’m going to try to do it one at a time. @ my motivation? Where r u (and im so sorry i cannot sleep i cannot dream tonighttttt) Anyways! Also I just realized that it was Creeper who were atl’s opening band on the european mainland tour for lyr and now im emo all over again. The text conversation is in the story already, I just felt the need to make it for you lol

Your POV

I knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. Our manager knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. My bandmates knew we were going on tour with All Time Low. We all were well aware, and now the fans were too. But holy shit, is it surreal. Starting from nothing, playing a max of ten people, then going to 1,000 cap rooms, oh my god is it fucking incredible. Not to mention All Time Low have been my heroes for as long as I can remember.

I’m in a pop punk band, and I play the bass. I’m not quite a singer, but I can do back up. I have three other bandmates. One sings, her name is Maria, one plays guitar, that’s Drew. And we have Allison on drums. Altogether we’re pretty badass.

I had heard in the industry that Jack was a bit of a flirt. Having Drew in our band, we didn’t think much of it. Granted, Maria was engaged, and Allison’s gay, so it’s not like either of them were available. But I knew of Jack’s wiles, so I knew to stay on my toes. We were touring in Europe around the mainland for Last young Renegade, All Time Low’s new album, and it was my band’s first time being in Europe, so we were stoked. We were up at like 8 am, exploring around the city. Though trying to fall asleep is critical, especially jet-lagged. I don’t know about most things, but what I do know is anytime I go anywhere, even if it’s in the same time zone, I’m always jet-lagged. Maybe I’m just always tired?

So we arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark, the first stop on our European tour, and we meet the guys at their bus, and I’m a little star struck. Alex Gaskarth and his iconic hair. I’m not saying I’m in the fandom, but Alex’s brown hair is nothing short of iconic. Especially when it’s longer. Huge throwback to Timebomb era, and hooo boy. That was an era to be alive. Alex was wiping down the table in his bus, muttering about these “good for nothing men, who can’t even pick up after themselves.” Jack is behind him opening the fridge, then opening the cupboards, then opening the fridge, then opening the pantry, I smiled a bit at that. Zack and Rian weren’t anywhere to be found, at least from what I could see, staring down the bus’s hallway. We were to be dragging behind them in our small little van pulling a trailer. Drew coughed, and Alex looked up. “Guys!” he smiled, throwing away his wipe. “You’re here!”

Jack looked over from his rampant searching of food and smiled at us as well. I felt my face grow hot, but tried to brush it off like I was alright. I kicked my other food and looked down at the ground to try and forget I existed for a bit. I noticed Maria smiling at me, probably knowing exactly what was going on. She knew that Jack has always been a celebrity crush of mine since 2008. “What’s up,” he said to us, nodding in our direction.

“We’re in GutterPunk,” Drew responded, usually taking initiative. “Nice to meet you guys. We’ll be on tour with you throughout the mainland.”

“Sweet!” Alex smiled, and came over to us, probably intending to shake our hands. “What’ll you be riding around?”

“We kind of don’t really know yet? We have to go pick up the rental van and trailer soon. We just wanted to meet you guys.”

“Well I’m Alex,” he said gesturing to himself. “And that fiend over there is Jack.” Jack paused from his cupboard raid and waved, then went back to it. “Hope to enjoy your guys’ music and energy out there.”

“Stoked, dude.” Drew shook his hand, and turned to walk away, out of the bus. We were all standing in his way. So he had nowhere to go.

“I’ve been a fan since middle school!” Allison told him, also shaking his hand. “Y/N and I have always dreamed of touring with you guys. It’s been a dream, really. You’re a huge inspiration! At least half of it. Tre Cool has always been my biggest, but don’t sweat it. He’s a fucking god on drums.”

“Here here!” came a voice in the back.

“That’s Rian,” Alex chuckled. “He always makes himself known at any mention of Green Day.”

I thought I had seen Jack peak over at us when Allison mentioned my name, but then again, it was all happening so fast, I didn’t have any idea as to what was going on. I tucked my hair behind my ears and introduced myself to Alex. We talked a bit before we had to go to the rental agency and get our modes of transportation. It was to be about a month in the van with these guys, tightly packed. Thank god we weren’t a ska band.

After a couple days on tour in Europe, I was getting my bearings. I started to get a feel of how it would be like throughout the month. It was a show every night for a couple days, then we’d have one or two days off. Our van broke down the fifth day, and we were ready to call it quits, me being on the verge of tears, and Allison kicking the wheel of our shitty van rental. Alex graciously offered to let us stay in their bus, but we all refused, trying desperately to figure out another way to travel. He insisted.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Maria asked him as we gathered our stuff in their bus

“Oh, it’s fine!” Alex waved us off. “You’ll just stay with us. It’s not fair that we get this huge ass bus for four of us and you guys all have to share that tiny van. Make sure you get your money back though, because that’s bullshit. Jesus Christ, man. I told Fueled that we should’ve just shared a tour bus but they’re all about ‘separating bands’ or whatever. Why we ever signed to this record label I’ll never know.”

“It was your idea,” Zack chimed in. We all laughed. “Well it was! After going to Hopeless, twice, Alex wanted to branch out. Which we all agreed to anyway. It was funny though, because he complained about it every chance he got.”

“I’m well aware of that. But Fueled by Ramen seems to forget that we were once small too! Power to the little people!”

We all laughed again and gathered in their bus to prepare for the next night which was to be a day off. I was nervous, because this meant that Jack would be just down the hall, if you can even call it that, from me. It reached 1 am that night after the show, and we had all gathered in our beds to try and sleep so we could get out and do fun things around France.

I always used to sing myself to sleep to calm my nerves, and after about an hour of tossing and turning, it seemed like that was my only option if I wanted to sleep. I started off by humming softly, in case I would wake anyone up. After about ten minutes of that, and no sounds of stirs happened, I sang quietly. First was Lullabies, which is my go to song to sing when I need to sleep. Something about the line “Sing me to sleep, I’ll see you in my dreams” makes me feel at peace. After I finished with that, I heard the quiet patter of feet. I stopped for a bit, to wait to see if it came again, and when it didn’t I started again. Snuff by Slipknot is another one that calms me down, and I sang that, but right at the bridge I heard the patter again. I drew back the curtain, and saw Jack standing there. He looked scared to see me notice him, and promptly turned back towards his bed, and didn’t look back at me.

I frowned but pulled the covers up. I guess he doesn’t actually want to get to know me. I closed my eyes to try for the.. Was it the fourth time? Third time? I lost count. But I tried once more to sleep. Then I heard the pang next to me of a text message.

I promise I wasn’t trying to listen to you sing.

It was from Jack. We had all exchanged numbers at the beginning of the tour. My thumbs danced over my screen as I thought of what to say.

Don’t worry about it

I just heard it and then i couldn’t stop

It’s fine, jack. Really

Your voice is really pretty tho Can we talk tomorrow? I have something I need to tell you

What could he possibly need to tell me? I was freaking out. And now I can’t sleep even more. Fuck. This was going to be a long night.

I mean I’m awake right now

I can’t really say it right now

Well, what the fuck does that mean? I sigh and then turn around and face the wall. The bus was moving, but I felt like my stomach was moving ten thousand times faster. Him talking to me like this is the first real conversation he’s had with me. Most of the time he avoids me. Whatever it is, I guess I can wait. I prepared for a long sleepless night after that.

When I woke up, everyone was bustling about, getting ready for the day off. “Jack! Y/N!” Rian called down to us. I guess neither of us had gotten up. “We’re going out to breakfast!”

I moaned in recognition, and heard nothing from Jack, so I assumed he had gone with them. I threw my covers off and went straight to the bathroom. When I got out, I saw a tall lanky man with bed head staring at me.

“Uh. Hello.” I said stupidly.

“Hey, uh. About last night.”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to say anything. I get it. I’m a backup singer for a reason.”

“No that’s not it! Um.” He stopped talking to look down at his feet. “Look. I know this is weird. Especially since I hardly know you. But, I’ve actually been following your band for a while. And dude, you’re like insanely hot. And then I find out you’re a good person too? Last night, hearing your singing it made me realize.. Fuck, this is so stupid. It made me realize I’m in love with you.” With the last uttering of  those words, he looked up at me. “Sorry.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I raised my eyebrows, completely awestruck. Jack Barakat, the celebrity crush of my teen years was telling me he was in love with me? When it looked like he in fact, was not kidding, I immediately blushed and looked away. “Dude. I’ve been in love with you since I was like 14.”

A smile lit up his face as he started talking really fast, rambling. “Oh my god! Really? Holy shit okay, so like we can go get breakfast with the others, or we can go get breakfast by ourselves, we could walk down the Seine, we are in France after all. Holy fu-”

I started laughing, but grabbed his hand with mine, since he was waving it all around. “Slow down there, I can barely keep up. Let’s go get breakfast first, and talk this out. You’ve basically been avoiding me since I got here.”

“Well yeah, I didn’t really know how to strike up a conversation.”

I chuckled. “This is weird, huh?”

“So weird.” He nodded in agreement. I realized I was still holding his hand, but I didn’t let go. Instead we walked off the bus, headed towards the cafe for breakfast. My heart was in my throat but this felt right. After the initial break of the ice, he wouldn’t shut up, but I loved hearing his voice. He could talk for hours on end if he really wanted to.

[asouthernprincessupnorth]

Sweetener Tour, 19 September 2019, Sheffield

Hi guys! You can guess from the title what this post is about: Ariana Grande’s Sweetener Tour! I went to her concert with a very dear friend, Nabil, and let me tell you that it was amazing.

So, we bought the tickets way back in December 2018, if I’m not mistaken. When I found out that Ariana was coming to the UK, I thought I just had to see her at least once. Me and Nabil looked at her schedule and when I found out she was coming to f-ing Sheffield, I just knew that there is no way I could possibly miss out on it. I mean, Sheffield, of all places!

I got up as early as I could on the day of the ticket sales and within a minute that the tickets were being sold, I couldn’t get any. I kept on refreshing the page until it showed I could get two tickets on the f-ing Gold Circle, which is basically the most expensive ticket category (but not as expensive as VIP-Meet & Greet). After hastily agreeing with Nabil, I clicked on the purchase. Yep, I bought a very, very expensive concert ticket.

Me and Nabil went to the venue as soon as queuing was allowed by the Arena and we spent at least three-and-a-half to four hours in the queue. Was it worth it? It was. We got into the Standing area but I just knew that our Gold Circle tickets should’ve gotten us closer to the stage so I basically ran to the edge of the Standing area, showed our Gold wristbands to the security guards, and got ourselves into the f-ing Gold Circle. I ran and managed to stand on the second-to-front row. Let me tell you this: it felt awesome. Me and Nabil got slightly separated because he went to buy us some water (which each cost f-ing £2.50) and when he returned, two girls and a mother already stood behind me. But it’s okay. He was still very close to me and we managed to chat a bit during the concert. Also, so many young girls (preteens and even a child barely five years old) going there with their mummies and daddies. Wow.

Social House and Ella Mai opened the concert. I honestly loved Social House! I’d never heard their music apart from their collaboration with Ariana on Boyfriend but they had such positive, great energy and were very engaging with the audience. I might’ve not known any of their songs but when they left the stage, I knew that they made me want to listen to their EP. Ella Mai had a very beautiful voice but, sadly, I felt she wasn’t very engaging. The stage was rather circular/oval-shaped, with the central void being filled with VIP audience and the outer parts of the circle surrounded by Gold Circle (yes, I’m terrible at describing visual stuff in English). However, Ella stayed only on the main stage with the musicians and did not go around on the circular part, which made things less engaging (at least in my opinion).

Warning: The part about Ariana is very much all over the place.

Now. Now. Ariana. The songstress herself. Good God. She opened with the intro raindrops (an angel cried), and the crowds just went mad, including yours truly. We basically screamed and sang along and I saw that the stage was still empty but the visuals were starting. Oh. The visuals were very much all about the sun and stars and moon. When she started raindrops, it looked as though there was an eclipse or something.

And then, she rose up from the ground with her dancers in a very, very familiar setting: God is a woman as seen on the MTV VMAs 2018. Spread across a dining table, as though it was a reinterpretation of The Last Supper. And she sang. She had a very beautiful, very clear voice. I noticed, however, that the mic might not have been super clear because whenever she said anything that wasn’t her song lyrics (like when she greeted the audience or said something about the song no tears left to cry several songs after God is a woman), I couldn’t really hear what she said. Either that or she wasn’t very good in her pronunciation (this is actually one of the quite valid critiques of her vocal/singing. Yes, I love and adore Ariana but I also agree that sometimes she doesn’t enunciate well).

Anyway. I had a very, very magical 90 minutes listening and watching Ariana’s performance. She was generally energetic, fun, and engaging. She was appreciative of her band and her backup dancers, whom I think she genuinely sees as her friends. Ariana’s vocals, though, are the star of the show. Of course, what else do you expect from her? Every time she hit a high note it made me feel like I was being choked because how did she do it???? And she killed it. I’m pretty sure at some point I heard a whistle note from her, though it wasn’t as flexible as Mariah Carey’s had been in her prime. This isn’t a bad thing, though. It’s great that Ariana can do whistle notes, doesn’t mean she has to do it in the most vocally-acrobatic style because God knows stretching it too far can affect your other vocal abilities.

I loved every part of it, of course, but I really loved her performance of NASA. I guess that’s because it’s my favourite song off thank u, next. To be honest, lots of the songs were kind of a blur to me but in a good way: I couldn’t remember exactly how she did it because I was just so happy with singing and screaming at the top of my lungs. I hope that’s a good sign, though. Anyway. NASA was such a great performance and I honestly remember not being able to properly record a video of it because my phone’s camera is absolute crap and Ariana’s position onstage wasn’t strategic to mine. Still, I was like, f it I’ll sing my lungs out because that is what I want to do. I screamed so loud when she sang: “I’mma need space, I’mma need space”.

And also needy. I loved, loved, loved that song. needy is such a mood and I know it was a song of vulnerability but damn, I sang and screamed. It felt like pouring my heart out. I guess that’s exactly why thank u, next is my favourite Ariana album: it speaks to me. And when she sang, I know that she was singing what my heart felt, too. And it’s an amazing feeling.

Of course, no Ariana show would be complete without some sexy choreography, like in Side to Side and Into You. I sang and screamed but... mostly it was a blur. Again. I feel like because those songs are, so sorry to say this, generic provocative songs, it did not make me feel super connected or anything. It was fun to sing them and dance to them but wasn’t the most wow this is amazing OMG feeling. I did, however, enjoy break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored. Her vocals in that are amazing, oddly enough for that kind of song.

I also fell so much in love with R.E.M. I later found out it was at first a Beyonce song but Ariana made it a very, very lovely song. It’s actually very much like a lullaby and it’s such a sweet, sweet love song that sways your heart.

This has gone way, way too long (just like the intro of in my head, which wasn’t sung at the concert but used during an interval). Now. The grande finale: thank u, next. I recorded the whole performance and it actually made me feel rather emotional. I can’t possibly imagine singing the names of my exes every night for a year of touring, one of whom died of drug overdose and the other you thought you were going to marry. But Ariana sang it well. And again, I felt very connected to how she sang it. It’s not about whether you have as many exes as she does or anything: it’s about connecting on the understanding that you could take a lesson from the people in your past. And she closed the show with dances of love and pride.

So. I loved every second of it. It was worth every penny that I spent on it (though I would’ve loved if she’d sung for an extra 30 minutes lolz). It’s definitely something that I’ll remember for as long as I live, and I’m just ever so grateful that of all the places, I chose Sheffield and so did she, both in 2018. She delivered a beautiful, fun, entertaining performance and it was such an amazing way to close my postgraduate studies (sort of). It’s incredibly strong of her to embrace her vulnerability and create something that connects with others.