#[wow I really need to get active on Sofia] | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

edengarden · 4 years ago

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heyooo, could i request a normal BNHA matchup?

I’m a 5’2 gay male, black hair, freckles, green eyes, sort of on the chubby side? I sometimes wear glasses and either dress like a hobo, middle school boy, or femboy lol.

Anyways besides looks- I’m kind of,,, weird. I’m pagan, and I really like nature even though I’m kind of a germaphobe when it comes to being outside.I’m autistic so there's that, It’s usually hard for me to make new friends bc I come on rather,,, strong and hate the awkward first meeting phase. But when I do manage to make friends I’m always there for them in whatever they need and always do my best to help them through their problems (if they want) or just listen. I’m also selectively mute, but when I do talk I usually have a stutter, so I prefer to listen to other people talk. But when I do talk it’s usually about my special interests or something I'm into like Star Wars (a really big one atm), snakes, and the colour yellow. Speaking of snakes, I have a snake named Shigaraki and a tarantula named Princess :)

Some negative traits about me… I can be quite a jealous person. And I have these sort of sad episodes? I’ll kind of stay in my head and overthink waaayyy too much so that’s not fun. Oh another thing, I usually have a hard time telling when I should back off? Like I constantly worry about if I’m being ‘too much’ or if I should give my partner or friends some space. Oh and I’m reeallyy bad at bringing myself down and talking negatively about myself casually. And I’m hella self conscious lol-

Some things I enjoy,,, I don't do much besides work, but when I have free time I enjoy writing for my friend, story-based video games, and I really like cooking. When I have time to relax, I like to read manga and Harry potter, I don’t really read many new books anymore. Kinda random but I also enjoy knitting too lol. My hogwarts house is Slytherin, and I’m a capricorn :)

My music taste is… a bit complicated. On one hand, half of my playlist is Steven Universe songs, then I have stuff at every end of the spectrum like Dean Martin, Mother Mother, Savage Ga$p, Freddie Dredd, Corpse Husband, and a variety of J-Pop artists (don’t come for me, J-Pop is better than K-Pop), and a few random sorta indie songs scattered around my playlist. Atm my favorite songs are Verbatim, Escapism (from SU), Line Without A Hook, and Inertia.

What I look for in others, hmmm, I guess someone who can carry a conversation and is good at like, picking up on things ya know? Someone who can be really patient with me and stuff, someone who loves kids, oh and someone who’s willing to watch Star Wars with me, thats a big one lmao.

Something I’d avoid would be a disrespect of others boundaries, a really judgy person, like someone who hates on others or something they do for literally no reason, and someone who’s unnecessarily hateful to babies/toddlers/kids. Idk that one just bothers me a lot lol. And someone who gets frustrated easily, I grew up in a toxic and abusive household so thats a no go for me.

This ones kind of complicated but here’s my quirk!! I came up with it on my own so I really don’t know if someone has something similar,,,

Okay, so my hero name is Hallucino! Similar to Aizawa, my quirk activates when I look at/lock eyes with someone and the effect drops when I blink. So once they’re under the effects of my quirk, I can make them hallucinate and see any sort of setting I want. My signature setting/move is called Vertigo, it’s sort of a trippy LSD setting? So it makes the person nauseous and, well, like they have vertigo. I can create people in the hallucination, but it really wears me out and gives me a migraine. When they’re in that state they can't see the real world, and can faintly hear, but they can feel everything in the outside world. Anyways I think my quirk’s pretty damn cool.

(Wow thats so much I’m so so sorry-- also I hope it’s okay if I copy and paste this and request a Tokyo ghoul matchup? Your work is really amazing please take your time-- also sorry if it’s spaced weird I’m new to tumblr)

You can go ahead and copy paste for TG, yeah!!

Your quirk is AWESOME!! It sounds so cool 👁👄👁 I love it.

I’m matching you up with Mirio!

You got like, THE best person on your side?? An absolute ray of sunshine. He’s SO approachable, like even if he notices you’re a bit shy at first, then he’ll actively make sure that you feel comfortable around him. While buddy boy does that to everyone, he always looks forward to talking to you specifically. He LOVES when you start talking about the things that you love. He could just sit there, and listen and soak in all the information. And then when he reminds you that he WAS indeed listening by referencing to something, and your eyes light up? Mirio could cry.

I feel like this guy has little to no sense of personal bubble? I mean his quirk doesn’t exactly allow it, either... what I mean by this is that it takes a lot for Mirio to be scared off, so your autism? Not a problem, he’ll learn and he’ll be good to go. Your lack of ability to tell when to back off? He might never need to actually talk to you abt it, but if he does he knows exactly how to talk abt it in a way that won’t hurt you.

MIRIO INTERACTING WITH KIDS WILL GIVE YOU BABY FEVER I AM WARNING YOU. This guy is so sweet to kids and wowow- he’s so patient and kind and you see him at his best (and worst) and you’d fall for him so far, and sometimes you may find yourself wondering how or if he feels the same way towards you but what you don’t know is just like you’re watching him when his attention is somewhere else, he does the same for you. And if you could just see the lovesick expression on his face I swear- buddy is so deep in.

Songs!!! (Y’ALL ARE IN SOFT TERRITORIES BITCH)

- Love Like You, Steven Universe

- Sofia, Clairo

- Sad Song, Michael Barrow & The Tourists

- Soul Love, David Bowie

#mha #bnha #bnha matchup #mha matchup #togata mirio

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berkcwitz · 5 years ago

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❛ ✶ ( madison beer, cisfemale, she/her ) spotted ! jalissa berkowitz was spotted singing along to find my way by dababy in hilton grove . you’ve heard of them right ? they are a twenty two year old pornographic actress / internet personality who has already amassed a net worth of 550m . you should really follow them on insta @callmejalissa , they’re about to hit 89m followers . the tabloids have been calling them the vixen because they are known for being whimsical but also a bit abrasive . though most people recognize them by a drunken gaze staring into the mirror as she holds finger guns to her head , a laugh too contagious , leaving notes in lipstick on bathroom mirrors & echoing of her mothers longtime disapproval . — ooc info ( mia. twenty. est. she/her. )

GUYYYSSSS ?! this group ? a masterpiece , wow . im hella excited to get to roleplay with you all . im mia by the way , im twenty ( i’ll be 21 in june what a vibe ) & i live in the est ( a clam chowder eating , dunkin donuts chugging , no Rs havin , boston sports loving new englander ). also i go by she/her pronouns ! i am going to be so honest with you guys . this intro is dummy long . like , i promise i will not judge you if you hmu asking for a quick synopsis of my girl because this shit below this cut ? is a novella & a half , sis . if im very honest i really just needed to flesh her out completely because she’s a new baby of mine ? and i wanted to make sure i really knew her before i put her out on the dash . im so anal about this , i know . anyways , before this little note section gets as long as the intro without further a do ? adu ? idfk ... here’s jalissa , she’s ... a piece of work . also if you'd prefer to plot on discord hmu @ 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 .

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: jalissa billie-jean berkowitz nickname: lissa , jals , jb , berks , jalissa cadden ( porn name ) birthday: october 13th birthplace: fort lauderdale , florida hometown: hilton grove residence: hilton grove nationality: american ( est. 1997 through birth ) , british ( est. 1997 automatically a citizen due to mother’s citizenship , passport was claimed est. 2012 ) ethnicity: askenazi jewish ( maternal & paternal , 100% ) religion: judaism orientation: pansexual , panromantic ( she never really came out per say , people just kind of know she’s attracted to all genders . her family is very religious and she’s very involved with her synagogue so she’s made the choice not the necessarily put a label on her sexuality but is open about loving people no matter gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , yiddish ( fluent , second language ) , spanish ( fluent , third language ) , german ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: henry christian berkowitz ( 50 years old ) was born & raised in fort lauderdale , florida by a politician / banking heir & talk show host / philanthropist . henry himself went on to follow in his father’s footsteps and serve as a us senator for two terms & currently is the ceo of berkowitz capital . ( relationship: it’s never been perfect but the love is clear in the relationship & he’s been much better at being supportive of her in recent years . certainly a daddy’s little girl even when you do wrong you can’t do much wrong type of situation ) mother : austen sylvia rachelson-berkowitz ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in westminster , england up until her teens when she & her mother moved to washington dc after her mother had become the incumbent uk ambassador to the united states . austen was crowned miss usa at the age of 20 & later went on to follow in her families long time involvement in politics ( holding former offices as a us representative as well as governor for two terms ) . today she spends much of her time putting her law degree to work on criminal cases . ( relationship: they’ve never been close & have never quite seen eye to eye . since jalissa was nineteen she & her mom haven’t said more than ten words to one another & if they have it’s never necessarily positive ) brother: kenneth patrick berkowitz ( 24 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . he shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples first born & only son . kenneth is following in the berkowitz footsteps & is heading the uk sector for berkowitz capital since graduating from columbia university a couple years back . ( relationship: the two siblings have always been close. they had a similar friend group growing up & alot of the same interests . they’re still rather close to this day despite being countries away from one another ) sister: sariah rachel berkowitz ( 19 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . she shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples last born . sariah currently attends stanford university where she’s on a pre med track . ( relationship: the two were often at each other’s necks growing up . mostly because how similar they are to one another . as of recently the two have grown close , though , with sariah fessing up to looking up to her older sister ) social class: upper education: highschool diploma ( hilton grove highschool g. 2015 ) career: youtuber ( from 2014-present ) , pornographic actress ( from 2016-present ) , podcaster (from 2018-present ) notoriety: being apart of the prominent berkowitz family , having one of the top 10 most watched pornographic movies , her podcast with her best friend tickets to our downfall & her youtube channel callmejalissa . weight: 122lbs height: 5′4″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: hazel ( wears blue contacts sometimes ) positive traits: whimsical , astute , extroverted , affectionate , quick , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , humorous , loyal , compassionate , effervescent negative traits: opportunistic , recalcitrant , hypocritical , vain , critical , stubborn , distant , sneaky , abrasive , sarcastic , obsessive , vengeful , reckless , arrogant likes: black coffee , birthday parties , lying , sunshine , baby pink , glossy lips , gossiping , stand up comedy , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , popping champagne bottles , driving with the windows down , swimming , mimosas , oversized sweaters , taco bell , cranberry juice , makeup , football , cosmetic work , arguing , online shopping , exotic foods , jewelry the price of a car , fresh berries , roller skating dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , her mother , jelly , basketball , bad drivers , when people lie about their cosmetic work , sushi , hateful people , disloyalty , overly emotional people , romance , being alone , astrology enthusiasts , hospitals , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , traffic , being late , red wine , short hair , anything banana or grape flavored hobbies: reading magazines , dancing to her newly curated playlist in the mirror , gossiping with her grandparents , video editing , meddling , going for brunch , goat yoga , drinking alcohol while snuggled up in bed , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , making impulsive decisions , smoking weed , sleepovers with her closest friends , suntanning on yacht decks , late night instagram lives , marilyn monroe movie marathons chara inspo: kourtney kardashian , emily nelson ( a simple favor ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , evie zamora ( thirteen ) , rebekah mikaelson ( the vampire diaries ) , jennifer check ( jennifer’s body ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , regina george ( mean girls ) , lucifer morningstar ( lucifer ) , kathryn merteuli ( cruel intentions ) , veronica lodge ( riverdale ) , chanel oberlin ( scream queens ) , samantha jones ( sex and the city ) , andie anderson ( how to lose a guy in 10 days ) , blair waldorf ( gossip girl ) , naomi lapaglia ( wolf of wall street ) , maddy perez ( euphoria ) , kat hernandez ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: fran drescher , bella hadid , alex chung , madison beer , romee strijd , kendall jenner , selena gomez career inspo: tana mongeau , jordan lipscombe , sofia franklyn , alexdandra cooper , lana rhodes , abella danger headcanons: she has one hundred percent smashed the windows in an exes car , she drives a black range rover , vandalized an exes home before , says “ harely quinn is my spirit animal “ once a day , is not the type of ask if you’re okay with her vlogging , has slept with rock stars and couldn’t care less that they’re basically the age of dirt at this point , is actually very sad when she’s not putting on the vivacious front in front of people , dances on tables whens she’s drunk , its not a party unless someone has offered her a line

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀

the berkowitz family name has long been one that holds prestige & power . among the 1% for over a century . they are a prominent banking family that has had their hands in the pots of nearly every big banking company across the nation . coming into the united states after word broke of the california gold rush back in 1849 , the berkowitz brother’s were of the lucky few to acquire pounds of gold by the thousands . later founding what would become a leading investment bank known as berkowitz capital . the generations to follow would capitalize on the head start given to them by the two brothers . expanding the family company as well as the knowledge of the family name through heavy involvement in politics alongside the kennedy’s . since as early as 1953 there has always been a berkowitz family member actively appointed to a political role ( governor , senator , representative , us ambassador , etc ) . although the families roots within the states are documented in the capital of california , as generations went on they made their way over to the east coast , with most of the family members now residing in southern florida .

the rachelson family is a prominent political family . synonymous with power & eloquence . with their rise initially taking place in the british parliament . many escaped to england from germany between 1933-1935 . they hadn’t settled into the states until jocelyn rachelson ( jalissa’s maternal grandmother ) was appointed the united kingdoms ambassador to the united states in 1987 . the rachelson’s have since had heavy involvement in the us government , both behind the scenes and at the forefront . much of the rachelson family have stayed within the european union ( germany & poland ) as well as england . although the few that followed jocelyn to the states now reside in washington dc and the tri-state area .

henry & austen had met through their mutual friends . it didn’t take long before the two became a rather public couple , a supercouple if you would ( similar to that of a brangelina of the 1% ) . although they’d met in new york the two decided that when it was time to start a family they wanted to move to hilton grove , an island austen had eyed for years . instead they found themselves moving down to fort lauderdale where henry had grown up . before they knew it , they were three kids deep in settling down in fort lauderdale . austen’s anger from never wanting to build a life in florida started to tumble into the relationship & the daily life of the family & so in an effort to recover the marriage henry agreed to moving the family up to hilton grove , where they have resided ever since .

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐑𝐀

jalissa was born the second of three children and oh boy does she suffer from middle child syndrome , riddled with a envy and a need to be in the mix . the berkowitz household , although , from the outside looking in looked like a fabulous family life was anything but . jalissa , like her siblings , was born on a pedestal & what came attached with that was even higher expectations from her parents . her parents found a way to be extremely authoritarian & uninvolved all at the same time . they were very dismissive if you disappointed them & everything jalissa did seemingly did just that .

for a long time she was obsessed with getting her parents approval , she’d turned life into a silent competition between herself & her siblings . she befriended only the people her parents approved of , did all the events they asked her to do , did everything she could to excel academically & only dated people who were of benefit to her parents ( people who’s parents where also in high places ) .

during highschool she joined the model un , debate team , and soccer team . if it were up to jalissa & not her parents she’d probably had joined the cheerleading team but her mother would never let that fly . it was too “ self indulgent “ to fit the family brand ( if only she’d known what would be coming years later lol ) .

it wasn’t until she was seventeen that she started to deviate from her parents wishes . of course , the catalyst to this was a boy , one her parents hadn’t really approved of but jalissa was completely head over heels for him . he really helped her boost her confidence to be her own person ? and not allow her parents to treat her like a puppet . with his encouragement she started her youtube channel , something she’d wanted to do for years but her mother had shot down the idea anytime jalissa brought it up . it was once again too “ self indulgent ” . the channel known as callmejalissa was an outlet for her , talking to a camera was the most heard she’d felt in seventeen years of her life . and god she knew that was hella sad . she really grew to view her subscribers as family & by the time her channel was brought to her parents attention ( more like her mothers , her dad had found her channel just four months after she’d made it and promised not to tell her mother so long as she was smart about what she posted ) she was about to turn eighteen and there wasn’t much they could do to stop her from doing it .

at eighteen she’d graduated highschool salutatorian with offers from university of pennsylvania & brown university . in all honesty she didn’t wnat to go to college , she saw it as a complete waste of her time . it wasn’t like she was going to do anything with the degree anyways . it would simply be a point of bragging for her parents at events & at this point she really could care less about them being able to brag to their friends . she knew she had to play along though , because this was the same year she was going to receive her first half of her trust fund ( a whoopin 500m , yes her trust fund in total will be 1b her parents are grossly wealthy guys ) so she bamboozled ? her parents , promising she’d committed to attending penn just so they’d allow for the money to be released to her account . she moved out of the house , literally moving into a house of her own a couple blocks from her parents house & claimed she was living in pennsylvania for college . we stan a sneaky binch .

two months later her parents were at her front door , though , ready to give her an ear full . her mother basically disowned her at this point . telling her how every year jalissa found a new way to be a bigger disappointment . her dad kind of played good cop , like he normally would because her mother often dug into her pretty deeply . to the point where any insecurity ( even though with the way she carries herself you’d never think she has any ) she has stems from something her mother has said / called her in the past . if henry berkowitz had a soft spot , it was certainly jalissa , it that had only grown clearly with the harsher austen became on the girl .

a few months before her nineteenth birthday a sex tape was released of jalissa cheating on her boyfriend at the time . it was a drunken mistake she’d made around the time of her mother basically disowning her , but that explanation did suffice for her boyfriend who inevitably broke things off with her . although this was a horrific time she’d received an abundance of offers to film more tapes . it was enticing to say the least . she was someone who loved intercourse but also had this deeply rooted desire to get back at her mother ? and what better way to do so then to something so far left from what her mother was about . this was next level disappointment in the eyes of austen berkowitz . the only thing that made sense ( in her mind ) was to dive head first into the porn industry .

like you’d expect her parents had a fit when they found out about her new career choice . although her internet fame had soared to new heights and her youtube & instagram followers were loving every second of this move . her mom was currently serving as governor and has since not been able to get elected in the political world since jalissa became one of the top porn stars around . they basically blacklisted her & jalissa feels no remorse , she’s gone so far as telling her mother “ sucks to be shunned , huh? ” .

although it took her dad a while to come around , he cares far too much to shut her out .

not to long after jalissa & her best friend started their podcast tickets to our downfall , it’s a mix of call her daddy & the basement yard , basically two besties talking on a level that most people wouldn’t want to leave the privacy of their own space , giving advice , hoe tricks , and telling funny stories of their past . it a total hit & one of jalissa’s favorite things to do .

she live sin the same house she has since she was eighteen . she lives on her own with three dogs and a cat . she absolutely hates being alone and so maggie ( a tan corgi puppy ) , louis ( a yellow lab puppy ) , humphrey ( a chocolate lab ) , and cedric ( a orange scottish fold ) are her babies that keep her sane in her big ole home .

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

as you can tell jalissa is chaotic , impulsive , reactive , and overall just searching for attention . she doesn’t care if the attention she receives is for the wrong reason or not , as long as she’s getting it . despite this she’s a good person ? i promise . she’s very friendly , loves a good joke & having a good time . very fun loving . she’s the type of person to try and bring up everyone else’s mood even when she isn’t feeling 100% herself . she’s loyal to those she deems are loyal to her . sometimes she’s bad a seeing who is actually loyal to her though & will be disloyal to someone who actually has her back ? oops . she’s definitely not the type to sugar coat anything for you , she tells it like it is & refuses to apologize if that hurts your feelings . if you cross her ? i’ll be praying for you . she’s the type to fuck your s/o , tell your boss some wild story about you & dump alcohol over your head at an event all in the matter of a week . don’t get her going , she’s absolutely relentless . with that said she’d very affectionate ... ? you can catch her hugging up on whoever is next to her at all times . touch is her love language , because lord knows she’s no sweetheart . she hates the stereotype of porn stars / internet personalities being ditzy , although she didn’t attend university she was accepted into two ivy leagues based off her academic abilities alone . the girl is intelligent & enjoys having a clever conversation from time to time .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

her ex boyfriend from when she was seventeen ( he’s mentioned above ) but basically he’s the one who encouraged her to not let her parents make her their puppet , they didn’t approve of him , jalissa fell head over heels for him . they would’ve dated for nearly two years because the sex tape of her cheating on him came out .

the person she cheated on her ex with ? maybe they’re the one who leaked the sex tape ? maybe they never even told jalissa they were recording ?

her best friend that she does the tickets to our downfall podcast with ? these two are literally like twins , just two peas in a pod ( pun intended )

fans of her work ? and im not taking about her youtube channel or podcast

ex hook ups that think she’s crazy ? she probably gave them reason to think so lbr

frenemies give me blair & serena circa season one type of shit

just plain old enemies , they were probably friends at one point or maybe just have always disliked one another ?

smoking buddies were they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit

someone who isn’t afraid to confess their love for jalissa but her damaged ass refuses to confess her feelings for them ? so it’s just this constant cycle of them having a good time , them being sweet & her just gets weirdly quite & starring at them before she complaining about them going and ruining the vibes

she’s a bad influence on them ? they’re a good influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed & maybe they don’t even know she has & they still think she’s a ride or die for them ?

#hilton:intro #❛ 🍑 ── 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑. / INTRO.

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youtubethewhatnow · 5 years ago

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Only Want You- David Dobrik

This was a request by @flowerkidlxrry and I wanted to say thank you love for it! This was fun to write and it’s based off the song only want you by Rita Ora!

“You said this was form fitting not skin tight oh my god” you complained to your friend, Carla, who lended you her dress for the night. Something you were annoyed about wearing since the night you and David had ended, it was constant mini dresses and looking good.

You wanted attention to put it simply, trying to fill a void that David put in your heart. Sure it wasn’t fair to blame him for everything, but you definitely wouldn’t be going out almost every night if you guys didn’t end the way it did.

You would probably be dressed up in a sweatshirt and shorts, getting ready to go to David’s. Makeup free without a care in the world, especially with how comfortable you were with him. Sadly that wasn’t how life was going to work, you were instead going out and trying to have fun.

Trying being the main key word since you weren’t actually having that much fun. Not without David’s annoying screaming in your face about something you did that was funny, trying to capture it for his vlog.

Well really it was you since you ended things, not realizing the mistake that was at the time. You needed David and you hoped he needed you since you wanted to go back to him. The hardest part was doing that since he was in LA and you were in Las Vegas, moving for work. Also the reason you broke up with David in the first place, never thinking about it until you got this opportunity.

“Hey it works you look hot” Carla simply stayed as she looked at you up and down in approval. Smiling to herself since you were kind of her project since the breakup, hoping it would help. “Yeah but it’s so tight and annoying, I feel like I’m only going to impress a potential problem” you stayed truthfully, hoping that maybe you could stay in.

Carla just rolled her eyes at that, grabbing your hand and leading you to the Uber she ordered for you. Sighing as she squealed and got on FaceTime with your friends who you were meeting at the club you were going to. You greeted the driver as you got in and apologized for Carla being obnoxious, hoping her rating wouldn’t go down because of her being a mess.

Your mind was more than preoccupied at the moment, you had your phone and looking at the photos you had with David seemed more important than anything at that moment. You looked back and saw the photos of something you don’t think you guys were for a long time, you guys were happy.

There was one of him sleeping that you had to capture before he woke up and got insecure. Then the one with him laughing at something Erin had said, the sun just set on his face. Seeming like he was glowing, one of the prettiest sights you probably had seen in a while.

When you had gotten to a photo of you and David where he was spraying whipped cream on you and you were laughing, the photo was taken as a courtesy of Natalie, then you got to the club. You sighed before stepping out, Carla immediately squealing as you met up with your friends who were waiting in line.

“Wow (Y/N) you look hot!” your friend Sofia commented as she looked you up and down in approval, your friend Alexandria agreeing to Sofia. You thanked them when you saw a head of brunette hair quickly turn back around as you looked up at them, you squinted your eyes to check to see who this was.

The bouncer at the club letting the brunette girl in with a big group of people you swore you could’ve recognized. Soon after you were let in, you headed straight to the bar, an activity you picked up after the breakup with David and something you will probably be continuing.

You soon met up with your current hookup who actually you could stomach for more than an hour, Christian being someone that you kind of could stand. You knew it wasn’t right but everything was compared to David from his hair to his eyes. The similarities between the two dawning on everyone including you, you knew he looked pretty similar to David but no one questioned it.

“Hey babe” Christian greeted you and then your friends who all gave their hellos before Sofia dragged the other girls out onto the dance floor so you could have alone time with Christian. This was well, hard since there wasn’t that much alone time in a club and you had to shout to even hear anything not in the bar area. “Hey Christian” You greeted back, refusing to use a pet name like he basically tried starting to do but you were already annoyed by it.

You gave him a kiss, every single time his lips with the taste leaving a sour taste in your mouth probably because like every problem you had with Christian. The only solution was to be David Dobrik, something he could never be but you tried with his kisses and looks. Yet Christian’s kiss wasn’t David’s and you miss your ex boyfriends, something special in them that made you crave them.

“Do you want to dance?” Christian asked you as you both found your friends at a table that Alexandria probably already had rented for the night. You shook your head no before heading back to the bar in order to get a drink before you had to deal with Christian again. Sitting down at the bar, you got on your phone after ordering a vodka cranberry from the bartender.

“That dress looks great on you” you turned around expecting a random stranger, instead locking eyes with one of your ex boyfriend’s best friends.

“Ilya? What are you doing here?” You asked a now shocked Ilya who just shrugged before leaning against the bar getting ready to start a conversation with you. You had been doing this for the past couple weekends, some of the conversations you had resulted in a hookup or two.

Christian being the most consistent, which was also part of the reason he was sitting with your friends since he kind of knew them at this point. You knew you had no intentions of hooking up with Ilya especially since he was David’s best friend, you didn’t want to do that to David but also Christian was kind of in your life now.

“Ilya I told you, not to run off because David is going to find you idiot- Oh hey (Y/N)” Natalie came through the crowd, about to scold her friend for probably about to scold Ilya for talking to you. You laughed at the pair you always seemed close with, smiling for the first time in weeks when he came. David was in front of you for the first time in weeks, emotions flooding back in like a tidal wave making you slightly uncomfortable.

“(Y/N) you look- wow” David simply stated as he stared you up and down, making you slightly uncomfortable at how forward your now ex boyfriend was being. You smiled since the compliment is something that sent a shock wave of emotions you hadn’t felt in a while, not from Christian or any other hookup you’ve had.

“Thank you” You smiled at him, you wanted to start a conversation with David and pull him away from the group but Christian came over after you thanked David. “Hey babe who are these people?” Christian asked you, hand wrapping around your waist immediately as Christian stared at David with a nasty look on his face. A definite way to say ‘she’s mine’ to David who was giving him a death glare, also staring at his hand around your waist.

“Christian this is Natalie, Ilya, and David and guys this is Christian” You simply stated as Natalie started talking to him, she was the nicest person since even Ilya started glaring at your consistent hookup of the month. “(Y/N) can I talk to you? Outside?” David asked you while looking at Christian, you knew that him holding your waist was something that was killing him inside.

“Sure, Christian I’ll be right back” You told Christian, giving him a kiss on the cheek before leaving with David outside of the club you guys were both consequentially at. “You did a real great job with that prick (Y/N). 10/10.” David let out as soon as you guys were outside and away from everyone, the both of you walking to presumably his car.

Your most important talks as a couple took place inside of his Tesla, it was where you felt the most safe and at home. It’s also where you broke his heart two months ago when you said you guys weren’t working out, you knew you two could make it but something stopped you. Soon you were proven right since David got to his car, you knew that you both were not driving anywhere since parking was $60 and you knew that was tough for him. He was a cheap millionaire, something you always found funny about the boy who was opening up the door for you.

David helping you get in before getting in himself, soon turning to you and waiting for your rebuttal to what he said outside before you both got in the car. “You only say he’s a 10/10 because he looks like you David we all know how narcissistic you can be” you gave your sass back to him, this only causing David to smirk at you.

“He does kind of look like me, I see why you picked him” David replied making you role your eyes, this side of him making an appearance making you regret the breakup slightly less worse. David definitely could be an ass when he wanted to be, sadly this was one of those times and you were already tired of him. “I guess I don’t have the best taste because he’s just as annoying as you” You stated making it his turn to roll his eyes at you.

“You know I’ve seen your Instagram posts, you’ve only been to the places we’ve been to” David almost questioned you, he had every right to since you have been going to places with memories of David in them. It was all you had of him for two months and you wanted to cherish that, apparently he definitely took notice of this.

“I’m surprised you looked at my posts” You simply stated, the air in the car becoming awkward which meant David was about to ask something as equally awkward. “Why did you break up with me?” David simply asked, wanting to get straight to the point and find an answer he’s been looking for. You just looked him and shook your head, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes due to how hurt he sounded.

“In truth, I felt so alone and depressed the last month of our relationship it made me almost do something I could’ve regretted. I don’t want to say it’s all your fault because trust me when I say that I made mistakes and I’m truly sorry. I just needed to get out for me” You replied truthfully, David listening to you before frowning. You knew he didn’t know everything about your mental health, the false thoughts of him finding someone better always invaded your brain.

“You don’t have to apologize for your mental health (Y/N), I understand that you need time for you. Just please know that once you’re done with that guy, call me because God I miss you so much. I’m sorry if I contributed to you feeling this way because I never wanted you to feel alone, your happiness is honestly one of the most important things that matter to me” David explained, wiping your cheeks since tears were now falling down. David kissed your cheek before bringing you in to cry into his chest, you hated talking about your mental health with David.

You were strong in his eyes and you never wanted anything to jeopardize that, even if it meant holding in everything that was coming out now. “Listen, I miss you dearly but if you need time I’ll give it to you” David simply stated. Kissing you on the lips, a slight moan coming from him as he got more into it while you were in heaven. You knew this is where you should be since it felt so right, everything about David felt like it was right and he could do no wrong.

You were the first to pull back, David following you before groaning since you pulled back from something he was enjoying. David always loving kissing you, it was probably his favorite thing to do besides make others happy which was something you loved about him. “Please call me if you need anything” David offered before you got out the car, nodding your head before heading back to Christian with a lot to think about.

#david dobrik #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik blurb #TUMBLR LITERALLY DELETED THIS THE FIRST TIME I TRIED POSTING IT #I HAD TO REWRITE THIS #IM SO MAD

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finderskeepersff · 5 years ago

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58.

“Handsome” she said “you late” I complained a little “says you that always wakes me up with late night calls, awwww what? You got me flowers” I shrugged looking down at them “you know how sweet that is to me, I feel special” she is making me blush “quit making a scene, come” she is making a scene for nothing “you better hug me” Sofia demanded “take the flowers then” Sofia is doing it on purpose cause she know I don’t do this shit “come” Sofia opened her arms to me “you make me love you more and more” hugging Sofia “you said love” I mumbled “your persona comes apart and I love it, just be quiet and let me hug you in peace” she said which made me smile “Cassius? Are you with us? Hello” snapping back into reality, the reality is so bleak to me “are you ok over there?” licking my top lip as I got up from the seat, pulling my hood up. I don’t want to be in these group thing, I am forced to do it. I only speak when I want too, pushing the doors open. I just want to be outside, I like it outside here. It has beautiful flowers, I like flowers. I don’t know, they look pretty. Walking down the path, I just rather be outside as I refuse to sit there and speak about things I wish not to discuss. Sitting down on the outside steps, lots of open space. It’s so nice to see, like in Brooklyn you don’t see this shit and it’s nice “routine Cassius, what are you doing here?” Henry said behind me “are you ready to go outside of here, get you a nice haircut?” shaking my head “who would have thought, I made money just to pay for my rehab at the end of it, fucked up huh” I chuckled “we spoke about this Cassius, stop acting things are so bad and are negative, it isn’t so please” I don’t want a shave.

“I want you to start actively wanting to see people, you are capable of this and I know this Cassius” looking out of the car window “what if I jumped out of your car right now and walked off?” I asked “then I can’t stop you but I know you won’t, you like to test me. It would be sad to see you go. The confidence you had was not you Cassius, you need to understand that we need to rebuild on that. You gained confidence from drugs, you dealt with it through that. Even now you are holding back, you aren’t being true to yourself and this won’t work, will it? It’s painful, it’s hard to accept what you are, you need to accept it. Being a recovering drug addict is not a bad thing, you are not confident in yourself and it’s stopping you from progressing. I am taking you out because I want you to see your partner Sofia, I need you to let her come. She needs to understand you, you need to also open up about issues” Henry talks too much “maybe I don’t want to get better” he is making me get better, maybe I don’t want it “who is the real Cassius, tell me this? Tell me, tell me before you turned thirteen, who is that Cassius? We got time” I wish I never came with him “erm” I laughed “that Cassius was a loving kid, he erm. He just wanted to play with my niggas, you know. I loved numbers, I was so good at it. I would do my work, like niggas wouldn’t do they work but me, I did. I was laid back, I was good. My dad kind of hated there was four of us, used to be like I got more mouths to feed. He would come in drunk but me, I was good. Life was great” I grinned.

I am waiting to sit in the chair to get my hair done “Cassius you keep shying away from the mirror” Henry said “I don’t fuck with me bro” I laughed “why don’t you? You are a great guy Cassius, you need to believe that Cassius. You have to believe that” shaking my head “I want to be a new person, I don’t want to be Cassius anymore. You know, teenage Cassius was a fucked up dude. I was such a mess, I ain’t no drug dealer, I never was and then I became it. I ain’t no killer Henry but now” I chuckled “I guess I am, my dad. He was never happy, you know. Never proud of things, I kept proving points but still, I was not good enough” I still don’t think I am now “and how did you deal with that? I think Cassius you need to take this energy and anger elsewhere, we have a gym. It’s a great thing to do, you right now. You are thinking about your dad and then now drugs ain’t you? You need to disconnect it, you don’t need to deal with it that way, would you be shocked if I told you that I was once a user?” looking up from the floor and at Henry “yeah I was” he laughed “don’t look at me like that, I was a mess, no job, no family. I was on the streets. I did things I regretted Cassius, but I learned to forgive myself. I moved on, I am living proof and now I want to help people like you. I know you hate group talks, I did this for you” I didn’t think he was, he looks so normal “come on son, you next” looking away from Henry “go on and get your hair cut” getting up from the chair “you trying to grow an afro? Your hairline looking dumb” this old dude is harassing me already “been through a lot” sitting in the chair “what you want done?” he turned the seat around, I have to look at my face “clean cut, shave it all” looking away from the mirror.

“You feeling cold now?” Henry held out a water bottle to me “a little, I feel a little naked now” Henry sat next to me outside the barbershop “if you happy, I am happy with it” it’s whatever, I would let it grow out even more “you are still holding a lot back, we may have helped get you off drugs but you need to help yourself, only you can do that” opening the water bottle “my dad sold me, I killed the guy that was acting more of a father to me. He felt sorry for me but that guy was a pimp, my dad sold me to him. I am cute, I will get dealings. My dad went home, he got his hit. He went home, left me there with this guy I didn’t know. I was scared, I just did what I needed too. I did it for my ungrateful brother’s that hate me. To protect my mom, but I was sold. I had grown women wanting to fuck me, I had people drugged the fuck up right in front of me. I was working all night that I was sleeping in class, so I killed him. Then I started, for years. Taking some here and there, I think with my dad. I have this link to him, he was my hero. I was a daddy’ boy, I was the boy. So proud of me, but he was just not a nice guy. I do think both of my parents were crackheads, I mean who let’s their son be out at night doing that. They expect me to be ok, I had no relationship with any woman. I didn’t want kids, I knew what I was but then Sofia happened” I sighed out “going back to what your dad did to you, it was never right in any sense. I think what it is, you are so hurt by your dad” nodding my head “imagine it, going out at night with your dad. He wants me to go out, I mean that was before he beat up a woman for some drug shit. I went with him again to be sold, it’s laughable. I was a mess, I became a mastermind at my work. I was nineteen where I ran up on niggas double my age, took their shit. And I fucked their daughters, then I took their spot. I did it again, and again. Then it got to a point where I had everything at the age of twenty one, I became this nigga where people heard my name and would be scared. I had girls here and there, through a lot of it Celine was there but I couldn’t love her, it was never there. I was such a bad guy Henry, I was so angry at this guy that fucked me over, I tied him up. Made his daughter choose me and then fucked her while he watched she always a hoe that I fucked before, I mean you see the bigger picture here, he dead too. I am crazy” shaking my head “she also died” looking over at Henry “that is because you had so much power, power got to your mind. Come on, let’s give that mind a rest” I am tired now.

There is some real weird people in this place, they probably think I am weird but these are weird as fuck “she asked me for a hit” I pointed at some white chick “she said she would suck my dick too” watching this white bitch walk by “they all have their issues, I wanted to ask. So you came out after being locked up, what happened? You didn’t want a relationship or love, you tell me what happened when you saw Sofia?” I laughed to myself “erm so I saw her, like I walked into my home it was my brother’ girl, so when I walked in uninvited to the home it just happened. She was wearing a green, like a green colour, it was erm shiny like. And erm it was low cut, like I could see side boob, now I just came out of jail, I ain’t seen boobs in a while. I had a good time with my hand that night but she had her hair in a bun and when she got up, Henry, my man. She had this long slit, it went like” pushing my seat back, touching my thigh “here, I was like what? She didn’t wear a lot of make up it was on but not too much. And I was like wow, that was it. I was attracted to her instantly, her whole vibe. Her” I paused “her aura, I think they say it. I just felt it, and I had to just put it out there. No way in hell that was Jordan’ girl, like no. But yeah” I smiled to myself “I was one happy nigga seeing her” Henry smiled at me “you felt love? Did you feel it?” he be asking me some shit, licking my top lip “erm” I laughed “I think, I don’t know really. I just liked her a lot, I just felt that protectiveness over her, I knew my brother. I know he ain’t the type to be nice, so uh yeah. She had sex with me, I mean we did it. The rest is history” I laughed “you are very giggly Cassius when it comes to Sofia, I must say you are smiling a lot” kissing my teeth “because the questions are funny” is he stupid.

Henry cleared his throat “we have made some movement, talking more. We need to talk about things so we can be able to work on the issue, the root cause is of course your dad. There is more to tell, I know that but I am happy with you Cassius. You are talking more, so tell me. With Sofia being with your brother was this something welcomed with the family?” I snorted laughing “nah, they would bad mouth her. But they don’t know her like that, I did fall for her beauty but it’s what she showed me that made me love her even more, for her to expose these things to me made me love her more. I didn’t know what love is or was, love ain’t for me because I don’t know what that shit is. I said it to my mom, I was like thank her, I am here for her because I was already back into my old ways, all the well trying to keep up with Sofia and being normal for her, you know how tiring that is, mentally” Henry nodded his head “which brings me to say Cassius, you’re going to say to me I played you or whatever. Do you think it is time for us, you and I together to see Sofia, bring her here to see you. There is no way you can be helped outside if the person you live with doesn’t understand you, she seems like an understanding person so what do you think?” he did play me “I don’t want to speak to her, I think it’s best if I keep away” Henry sighed out “fine” he got up from his seat, he patted my shoulder “let’s give you your tablets and then you can sleep” I just can’t face Sofia right now.

Staring at the tablets “do I need them though? I ain’t crazy?” Henry side eyed me “I never said it was did I? These are just to calm your nerves and also so you can sleep, the last thing you need is to not sleep. We want a better lifestyle for you Cassius, night is for sleeping yes?” I don’t want them “I will see her” walking off, I don’t want the tablets. Night is not just for sleeping, that be the time I am working so it’s bullshit. I just don’t want that shit “fuck you!” I said to the white bitch before she even spoke to me, she get on my nerves. I do feel at peace but I am also scared, I can’t stop this. I will always be around drugs, I have the urge now. Turning back around “I want them tablets actually” I want it, I rather sleep because I am having some thoughts “meeting with Sofia still stands? Or did you change your mind on that?” shaking my head “she has asked about you everyday, called everyday. I feel you need the support as much as you don’t want her here, you need to do the hard work but she can support you” that sounds like something Sofia would do.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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heartsunholy-a · 5 years ago

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🎰 !

randomly generated dynamics // @tatterdsouls // accepting

So, of course, I gotta do both blogs even if I don’t know all of your muses because!! I love you so much!!

1. Kyou Sohma and Gloria Alvarez Rivera

Okay so, I have none of Gloria’s info up yet but essentially, she’s based off the G.reen D.ay album 21st C.entury B.reakdown and she and Kyou being? Unlikely punk friends who are really really soft for their significant others is kind of adorable, wow. (Tohru is Baby and Christian is Garbage but still, Kyou and Gloria be equally in love with their respective SOs.)

2. Saki Hanajima and Katherine Plumber

I’m just giggling about how I've gotten Katherine on all 3 of these first memes, wow. But also why...do I get the idea these two would be unlikely friends? I think Katherine would be fascinated with Saki’s whole demeanor and once Saki realizes that her curiosity is genuine, not malicious, I can see her slowly letting Katherine in!

3. Momiji Sohma and Vera Lloyd

Awwww, babies!! I have no idea as far as scenarios go but gosh, they’re both such cuties, they’d be adorable friends!!

4. Edward Elrich and Harriet Hook

Honestly, it’s been so long since I’ve seen FMA, I have no idea about how it’d work out, but man, these two hotheads clashing? Iconic

5. Hatori Sohma and Luna D’Angelo

Okay....honestly? These two would be very cute. Total sunshine and rain cloud dynamic. Man, it makes me soft, even though I have no clue how they’d meet. Just?? Gosh, Hatori deserves soft, genuinely nice friends?? His friends are all loud lol

6. Usnavi De La Vega and Sarah Jacobs

WOW, THESE TWO WOULD BE SO SOFT??? God, honestly, that’s kind of adorable?? I have no words, man, Sarah would think Usnavi is so??? cool?? and funny?? Abi, wow, how cute

7. Sodapop Curtis and Juliet Capulet

Okay first, gonna giggle because going off our mobile muse lists, Soda and Julietta are both number 24 so that’s kinda funny. So Jules is reincarnation focused, mainly, which makes her easy to adapt to non-Shakespearean verses, even period verses. She’s definitely more reserved and quiet and definitely doesn’t flirt around and it’s been so long since I’ve read The O.utsiders but you know I’m a sucker for a good greaser au so this has some cute potential.

8. Winnie Tan and Harriet Hook

Oh man. Oh man. This feels like a disaster but an excellent one? They’re both so closed off emotionally, they’d probably struggle to be friends at first? But also, they both use physical activity as an escape because I imagine Harriet’s a fencer or maybe a boxer, just, a real fighty gal. I dunno, I’m intrigued!

9. Kelly Mathers and Leah I-Haven’t-Given-Her-A-Last-Name-Yet

Okay so Leah is a test muse and I still have to find her voice but oh man, I love?? Artistic girls?? Coping with life through their art?? I don’t have a ton of ideas because I don’t really have Leah’s voice down at all but wow, love me some artistic babies.

10. Carlos de Vil and Alexei Sudayev

I literally added Alexei back for @warsraging since Sofia added Jun Sam back but Alexei needs more people to love. He’s just as awkward? A quiet little artist boy who also loves running track and has no idea how to make friends, let alone date?? This has such good potential, Abi

#messages #tatterdsouls #tatterdhearts #i'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color (ooc)#((I JUST LOVE ALL YOUR KIDS ABI WE KNEW THAT!!!))

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scbines · 6 years ago

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WORD okay what up i’m ally, i’m twenty1, i use she/her pronouns, my timezone is est & small disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing, okay!! just keep that in mind when you .. go to read this complete shit storm okay i’m Trying.. anywhen! i may or may not have uhhh copied & pasted the majority of this from the last time i played her but.. that’s neither her nor there, tbh! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on discord at [mournful bagpipe music]#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u aint got discord bhvfjn. MOVING ON..

cw: alcohol, neglect, sex ( & i think that’s it, folks! )

sab’s pinterest: here!

( sofia carson, cisfemale ) did you hear how SABINE VALDEZ is applying to columbia university as a PHILOSOPHY major ?! the TWENTY-ONE year old is living in the WATT HALL. i heard that they got in because they are +MAGNETIC and +INTREPID, but honestly i think SHE can be -FLIGHTY and -VOLATILE. they’re a real CATACLYSM. oh well, only time will tell if the JUNIOR will make it til the end.

imma just dive right in cos idk how else to go about it bgvjn

sabine grew up w/ a single mom in Detroit & they were basically skating the line between lower class and poverty, meaning they had like a proper house, but they were definitely behind on mortgage always and living paycheck to paycheck :// like when they went grocery shopping & sab would put anything but the basics in the cart her mom would look at her like ‘that’s a joke, right?’ and never could afford like birthday/christmas presents or cake or anything rip ( honestly not that sab’s mom gave enough a shit to even notice smh ) ! so everything was always a little .. hectic ig ? her mom couldnt ever relax unless she was blackout drunk so uhh that’s p much that on that sighs

even worse?? when sab was about eleven her mom got injured at work ( dont ask me How cos i have? no idea hibgfnjd i’ll flesh it out at some point.. maybe .. probably not.. ) so she and sab lived on disability checks and whatever small money sab could make helping her neighbors with like yard work/babysitting/shit like that until she was old enough to get a real job smh meaning she’s been working as long as she can remember god im exhausted just typing it

this basically left sab to raise herself, which .. most likely left her better off than if her mom paid her more attention tbh? cos her mom is selfish and doesnt care about anything but the next drink & the next man she’ll be inviting home smh !! the whole thing w/ her mom is that she Never Wanted kids but it wasn’t an option to abort or give sab up for adoption so she was Stuck raising a kid she never wanted .. truly .. rip ..

that said, sab’s mom was .. promiscuous to say the least .. all thru sab’s childhood there were countless nameless men in and out of their lives ranging from a day to a few weeks at most SIGHS anyways this of course led to sab having a seriously warped idea of what a healthy relationship is HELLO hvicnjm it’s super flawed to the point where she thinks the height of healthy relationship goals is to be exclusive for more than a few weeks smfh its wild tbh .. romance? dont know her! love? WHOMST? to sabine, there’s no point in bothering to rely or care for someone else because you’ll just end up disappointed so she ? keeps her distance for the most part.. relying Solely on herself cos thats the only person who wont let her down ( while also suffering from deeply rooted self-hatred? wow .. legends only .. )

anyways !! she Hated detroit like nobody’s business and always wanted nothing more than to Get Away from the toxicity of her home life and the suffocation of being the caregiver for a woman who will hardly get out of her bed gtg !!! so this led to her putting all her focus into after school jobs and making sure she was the top of her class At All Times like .. shes always been super determined and goal oriented but to a fault if that makes sense. she will work her ass off when given reason to, but once she’s accomplished that goal, she feels absolutely aimless sighs

bitch had .. like 3 jobs in hs and applied to a dozen schools, all of them at least 100 miles from detroit like Word ! she applied to columbia on a whim not thinking she’d get in but when she got that acceptance letter you can bet ur ass the bitch was Outta There!!

getting here tho … she isnt sure what to do next ihbvfcnj she never thought as far as majors and actually choosing what to do with the rest of her life so she?????? is undetermined about p much everything hgvifncjd but philosophy seems like the cop out she’s been looking for lmao !!!

anyways she works at a shitty diner not too far from campus like almost every day after classes but on weekends she COUGHS strips across town hibvfncj HA didnt see that coming did ya smh hibfnjd but!! she does it across town cos she lk wants it to stay a secret like she doesnt need to kick a frat boy’s ass for making shitty comments now does she??? but i mean .. its not something she’s ashamed of, she’s just Not Interested in having people she hates talk shit and slut shame ygm??

being so busy all the time, she doesn’t really have time for any school activities but she’s down for a party at any time ( esp if its like themed hbifnjd she loves a costume ) and uhh dtf too lbr shes v in touch w/ her sexuality #freethenipple ( does she even own a single bra?? we just don’t know! )

THAT SAID !! she doesnt correlate sex with like .. emotions?? cos shes never seen them in a situation where they’re mutually exclusive rip :// this led to her thinking people only ever Wanted Something from her be it her body or like a chance to put her down to feel better abt themselves smh ! she isnt a generally violent person but if it’s the latter she’s more likely to throw a few choice words in ur direction hvifcnj

generally, sab’s p much just ur Stressed Out Scholarship Student just trying to graduate so her life isnt a fucking trainwreck like her mom’s! she’s desperate for both human affection and adventure, so offer her one, the other or both and her heart is yours tbh! as much as she’ll pretend its not lmao !!1!1!!!!

anywhomst i cannot for the life of me think of anything else to type her atm since im??? garbage???? but !! mssg me if u wanna plot smthn out fam since uhh sab having friends??? sounds like a pipe dream tbh and im desperate for it lol!

#☆ — ❛ ooc. ❜#columbiaintro #this is embarrassing i can do better #but here we are ..

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mlbain · 3 years ago

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Anna Karenina Book Club

Saturday January 1st, 2022

Anna Karenina Book Club

Well well well it's the first day of a New Year and man am I feeling motivated! Last year, wow no two years ago during quarantine I did my first pass through Anna Karenina and it was AMAZING. My dad is a big Tolstoy fan and recommended that I read it a long time ago but honestly, I was very intimidated and it took a worldwide pandemic to sit down and tackle it. I really do recommend this book to everyone because it is a truly beautiful read and Tolstoy writes in a way that’s very readable and not at all lofty or overblown. Last year, I started cranking out an adaptation of Anna Karenina for the stage and I have a burst of productivity every once in a while and I’m able to bust out a few pages every so often This year, I’d really like to go through the book again in twelve page chunks so I’ll have a closer read for more inspiration to finish my adaptation. My concept for the stage is to include a framing story about Leo Tolstoy’s marriage to Sofia Tolstoy and how his life experiences influenced his writing as well as his cognitive dissonance in writing Anna and how he treats his wife. And hey, if you’ve ever wanted to read Anna Karenina but don’t have the time, follow along as I move through it twelve pages at a day trying to piece together an adaptation for the stage. With that, let’s get to gettin!

Pages 1-12

With that famous first line “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Tolstoy immediately lets us know that we will find out about the distinct fractures in the lives of more than one family. In these first twelve pages we learn that the Oblonsky family is in emotional turmoil due to the husband having an affair with the governess. Typical! Rolling my eyes! Men are trash! Tolstoy gives us a lot of insight into Stiva’s (the husband, he also is referred to as Oblonsky because Russian characters always have five billion names) inner world and how he is dealing with his current situation. In his mind, Stiva is completely justified in having an affair because, to be blunt, he has very little interest in his wife physically, mentally, and spiritually. His only regard for her is that she is “merely a good mother.” He is very surprised that his wife is even upset after finding a letter from the governess, detailing their sordid affair only because he assumed that she had long ago suspected him of being unfaithful. He spends his nights in his study as he is no longer welcome to share a bed with his wife and despite his best efforts to go on about life as usual, the whole household is making it hard for him to ignore his transgressions. The housekeeper and his barber continually make thinly veiled comments about his infidelity and when he tries to ask his children about his wife, it is obvious that while they don’t know the depth of the situation, they still know that he’s in the dog house.

Tolstoy mentions that there is a forest that needs to be sold, and that it’s imperative that he speak to his wife about it. It sucks that part of the reason he needs to make up with his wife is business related. Dovetailing into his political beliefs, we learn that Stiva has no real convictions in life either politically or religiously; he merely goes along with the majority and whatever position aligns with his lifestyle. There’s a quote that I really like that I want to create a new scene around: “Stepan Arkadyevitch had not chosen his political opinions or his views; these political views and opinions had come to him of themselves, just as he did not choose the shapes of his hat and coat, but simply took those that were being worn. And for him, living in a certain society- owing to the need, ordinarily developed at years of discretion, for some degree of mental activity- to have views was just as dispensable as to have a hat.” This quote perfectly sums up how life is today in the sense that it’s very rare for a person to hold true convictions when we simply craft convictions around habits that are familiar and safe for us that often mirror the habits of the people we surround ourselves with. Because we do not take the time to find out what really matters to us, rather we make excuses to follow the masses we rarely know what will make us truly and undeniably happy. “ If there was a reason for his preferring liberal to conservative views, which were also held by many of his circle, it arose not from him considering liberalism more rational, but from its being in closer accordance with his manner of life.”

It is very clear, if not to Stiva then to the reader (and hopeful audience members once I finish my adaptation) that he is deeply entrenched in an automated life that isn’t fulfilling and he prefers to do what he likes to do because he has no real beliefs or gumption to go against the grain of what society prescribes for domestic relations in any definite or meaningful way. And for a man, it is forgivable or at least understandable and perhaps expected to be unfaithful to their wives, especially when they become Mothers. “He could not at this date repent of the fact that he, a handsome man of thirty-four, was not in love with his wife, the mother of five living and two dead children, and only a year younger than himself. All he repented of was that he had not succeeded better in hiding it from his wife.” We see that all too familiar trope of a women losing value when she loses her looks and we take it a step further by Stiva expecting his wife to completely understand his motivations. “He had even supposed that she, a worn-out woman no longer young or good-looking, and in no way remarkable or interesting, merely a good mother, ought from a sense of fairness to take an indulgent view.”

When I first started writing my adaptation, I remember focusing a lot on what the emotional life of the children would have looked like as well as the servants and Dolly. But now, I’d like to go back and write a scene with Tolstoy having a conversation with Stiva about all of these things because most likely, Tolstoy would have agreed or at least sympathized with him. Then, later on we can see how differently Stiva and Anna process their infidelities and what Tolstoy’s opinions are concerning Anna’s arc. Yes, spoiler alert, Anna Karenina is also unfaithful in her marriage and it unfolds in a drastically different way. Oh! Also, the train imagery shows up a lot sooner than I remembered! Stiva hears his children playing in the hall and when he opens the door they’re playing with a box that represents a train. For those of you who know, you know and for those of you who are new, you’ll know soon enough. I want Tolstoy and Sofia both to have conversations with the characters. Tolstoy because writers have “conversations” with their characters all the time, and Sofia because she spent a lot of her time copying his work and she would be intimately connected to the characters as well. I don’t know how she felt about every character, obviously, but it’s a lot of fun to imagine. Here’s a scene that I would add to the beginning of my play with a focus on Tolstoy and Stiva talking about all of this business.

(Lights up on Stiva pacing in his study where he is now living, clothes are strewn about and, books are open, dishes left around, general disarray . A knock is heard and Tolstoy enters the room.)

Stiva: Ah Leo! Yes, yes do come in. Cigarette?

Leo: No! I’m quite alright. My god, are you living in your study?

Stiva: Yes, well I can’t very well share a room with Dolly now can I? After everything that’s happened I can’t seem to sleep much at all really.

Leo: I nearly expected you to have moved out with everything that’s happened. You can’t sleep, you said? Surely you don’t feel remorse, I know you too well to think that.

Stiva: No. I feel only remorse that I was caught, old boy. I cannot seem to sleep because of the couch, it’s lumpy and I can never seem to get comfortable.

Leo: (Picking up a newspaper) There’s nothing like drowning out your own problems than reading about the world’s problems is there?

Stiva: Quite right you are about that! However, I don’t really care about the world’s problems anymore than I care about my own problems. All that really matters to me is that I can do what I want, when I want without any unpleasant consequences.

Leo: That’s part of your charm, Oblonsky. You are skilled at fashioning the world to your whims and making everyone else sympathize with you when you are caught in your transgressions.

Stiva: You sympathize with me, don’t you old friend?

Leo: Most definitely. Marriage is an abhorrent institution that enslaves both men and women. It’s highly unnatural to domesticate men and to expect women to retain their mystique and allure when they’re busy raising children and aging.

Stiva: That’s it isn't it? My god, you would think Dolly would understand that I can’t possibly be expected to only be attracted to her for the rest of my life when she hasn’t got any opinions and interests other than the children and when her looks are fading. Why, I’m a young man unburdened with the responsibility of childbirth and rearing. What else am I to do but enjoy my youth and my freedom? I hardly see the crime in enjoying my own life while I have it.

Leo: We should have remained bachelors my dear, Stiva.

Stiva: We should have indeed. Oh to be carousing at all hours, doing whatever we pleased. Besides, if not for the immediate need to settle the sale of the forest, I don’t suppose I should have any reason to speak to my wife henceforth!

(Housekeeper sticks her head in the door of the study.)

Housekeeper: Pardon the interruption, Stiva a petitioner is here to speak with you.

Stiva: Very well. I do apologize, Leo but I must excuse myself.

Leo: Better lose yourself in the tedium of the day than to linger with the thoughts of what could be.

Stiva: I couldn’t have said it better myself. Please excuse me.

Leo: Of course.

(Lights down.)

That is a sense of what a scene like that would look like, I’d have to go back and figure out where to put it and rework some of it, but that’s one more scene that I could eek out of the first 12 pages of the book. Until next time, nerds!

#books Tolstoy playwright bookclub KeiraKnightley

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theabominableblogger · 6 years ago

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My Reaction to “Gotham” S4E4

Heck yeah, I’m on S4!

Also, four for you, Ben McKenzie (for writing this episode)! Because this episode was super good!

AN: I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

*Recap shows Barbara kissing Ra’s* Nope!

*covers up screen with phone* Nope!

“Perhaps you [Bruce] should consider what it [the knife] is before you drop two million dollars on it, shouldn’t you?” *chuckles*

*Bruce leaves the knife at the museum overnight* Oh this is such a bad idea…

Whoa!

Oh that camera angle though [as it goes from upside down to focus on Ed]! That’s awesome!

“Tomorrow night, Oswald…” Lemme guess… YOU DIE!

“…is the night you die.” Called it.

I still think it’s a really bad idea that they left the knife THERE by itself with two people who probably have no idea about Ra’s al Ghul.

“Alex, bring me the Palmerian Codex.” The what the what Codex?

I know there’s an actual name for this knife but I forget what they called it, starts with a “B” or something

AN: It’s formerly called the Balashi Blade, because it was originally intended to be an embalming knife

OK, so they do know about Ra’s al Ghul!

I feel like, if you take this whole Ra’s al Ghul thing out of context, or if you place this show in modern times, people would probably react to this like “Wait? That sounds like some Da Vinci code shit.”

“He [Ra’s al Ghul] was a warlord.” He was a warlord… who got caught up in some shit!

I’m sorry, I’m cussing so much in this. It’s like you see something so much that you allow yourself to make fun it of it even though you enjoy it. That’s it.

That… is a rather pathetic looking lion [in one of the display cases at the museum]. I mean, it’s been taxidermied, but it has a really small mane. Either that’s a juvenile or he just did not have enough testosterone in his system at all.

*Someone knocks on the door to the office* Please tell me it’s Ra’s al Ghul at the door.

He’s gonna be like “Hiiiii, I heard that someone was in possession of something I own. Or rather not ‘I own’ but other people have owned, but it’s been passed down to me, so technically, it’s mine. I own it.”

And the guy’s like “Uhhhh, no… we have plenty of knives here. We just don’t have the one you’re looking for. I’m so sorry sir.”

And Ra’s is like…. “Why you always lyin’…”

OK, I’m done.

IT IS HIM!

In this episode, if he does the whole “Bruce, be the Dark Knight the prophecy told you to be,” I’m gonna slap this laptop off this inn table.

Plus, this is quite possibly the best version of Ra’s al Ghul I’ve ever seen. I mean, I still like Liam Neeson’s Ra’s al Ghul but Alexander Siddig is actually of Arabic descent. And plus he’s just so charismatic!

“I’m [Ra’s] looking for a knife Bruce Wayne bought you [Dr. Winthrop] earlier today.” Because I am obsessed!

*gasps when Ra’s stabs Dr. Winthrop*

Where’d the kid [Alex the grandson] go?

*jams out to the opening theme*

“Harper, where’s Bullock?” “He asked me to fill him. He took a sabbatical for a few days.” Really?

Why does the actress that play Harper look really familiar?

They’re [Jim and Harper] just gonna let Bruce walk into an active crime scene investigaton?

“But I [Bruce] paid a great deal for it [the knife], and there was another bidder, a very aggressive one: Barbara Kean.” Haha, Jim’s just like “God dammit…”

Another panning transition shot! Take a shot!

God, Barbara, change your haaaaaiiirrrr! Ugh, or let it grow out. Please.

“If you [Barbara] had acquired the knife when I [Ra’s] first requested it, they wouldn’t be necessary.” I thought you said it was OK that Bruce got it!

Whoa!

“His name is Anubis.” Whaaat?

Whaaaaaatt?!? Did I step into an episode of “Hannibal?” What’s going on?

There’s Riddler’s hat!

“You know, your [Sofia’s] father taught me [Oswald] many things. Among them was to nurture a healthy paranoia.” Hooo….

“I’ll stab you.” HAHA!

Wow, way to make a lady in Gotham feel welcome, Oswald!

*”White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane plays in Barbara’s place* Ooohh, good song. Good song!

“You [Barbara] seem different.” Yeah, she took a rejuvenating bath in a certain famous neon green pit.

“Is it Ra’s al Ghul?” Whoooooo!!

BRUCE WAYNE, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!?

Oh that’s a cool shot of them [Jim and Bruce] just arguing in the alley!

“Ra's al Ghul is the real leader of the Court of Owls. He is the one responsible for the virus and having me kidnapped.” “And you [Bruce] didn't think to mention any of this before?” *claps appreciatively* Yes! Thank you, Jim!

“Why would he [Ra’s] want the knife?” Plot.

*scoffs* He [Jim] just hanged up on Harper?!?

*jaw drops in shock as the rappers deliver Ed’s riddle to Oswald*

*cracks up when Victor starts jamming out to it*

“What the hell was that?” HeheHAHA…

EDWARD SENT RAPPERS TO OSWALD! Oh my God, that’s amazing!

*has to take a minute to laugh*

“I [Oswald] want Victor to freeze him [Ed] again.” “Huh?” “Not you, the other Victor!” *just about ends up crying laughing*

“Earth meets sky, water flows, birds fly.” The pier!

“I [Oswald] want Ed Nygma.” AGAIN! Because you’re Oswald Cobblepot in this show!

He’s [Alex] hiding in the records room in broad daylight? With a bunch of windows?

*lets out a small gasp when we hear commotion outside the archive room*

Holy crap, Bruce has definitely grown! Oh my gosh… how tall is he at this point?

*Anubis jumps Jim* Whoa!

*Anubis’s handler starts speaking some ancient language.” Great.

*gasps when Anubis manages to bite Alex’s wrist*

*Jim knocks over all the bookshelves on Anubis* Ooooohhhhhh!!!

Where’s the knife hidden?

*Ra’s enters the precinct* OH MY FREAKING GOD!

“Ra's al Ghul. Minister of Antiquities attached to the consulate of Nanda Parbat.” OH. MY GOD!

“This is the guy that you're [Jim] looking at for murder? Why does he just walk in?” Why would you [Jim] openly discuss this with Harper right in front of the captain’s office, where Ra’s al Ghul is sitting, and Ra’s can probably read lips?

“I [Bruce] need to get you [Alex] to a hospital-” “No, no.” “Then the police.” DO NOT GO TO THE PRECINCT! Ra’s is there!

Hide! Go to Wayne Manor or something! Hide in the Batcave!

“You’re [Bruce]…weirdly cool.” Oh my gosh, that’s awesome.

Why would you [Jim] bring the evidence bag with you INTO THE CAPTAIN’S OFFICE?!?

I can’t believe Ra’s has the freaking balls to walk into the precinct himself and ask for assistance on looking for the knife.

Oh my God…

“May I [Ra’s] see the knife, Detective? It would so set my mind at ease.” *hisses in panic*

*gasps and sits back in shock when Alfred accidentally walks in on Jim interviewing Ra’s*

*Ra’s disappears* WHERE THE CRAP DID HE GO?

*freezes when we can hear Victor shoot the remaining Falcone loyalists outside*

“My [Sofia’s] father wouldn't have killed those men. He would have invited me to his club, as you did, but then gone further. He would have invited me to dinners. Had us seen in public. Sent the message that the old order supports me. And those men you killed would have pledged you loyalty. Now they're fertilizer.” Whoooo hoo hooo! Whoo!

Oh my God, Sofia’s probably gonna wipe the floor with Oswald’s ass later this season.

*gasps when we hear commotion outside the museum exhibit where Bruce and Alex are*

*Anubis enters* Oh that mothereffer!

Who’s the due with him that has half his face painted?

“Harper. If Mr. Pennyworth tries to leave, arrest him.” Ooohhhh…

“At midnight I'll make this one easy/ This place makes some people lie/ Some people speak/ And some people cry.” Speakeasy? A club? Iceberg Lounge!

Yeah, it’s the Iceberg Lounge! Yeah, and he’s [Oswald] crying there all the time.

“Can we please just torture them now?” “WHY NOT?!?” Haha!

*gasps when Anubis tackles Bruce to the ground*

*Anubis and Jim fall through the sabertooth tiger skeleton case* Oooohhh!

Bruce, what are you doing?!? Get Alex out of there!

*Alex beats Anubis off Bruce* Alex, get out of there! Where’s the knife?!?

*Jim accidentally distracts Anubis with a rib bone* Oh my God.

*Jim throws the bone out the window* OHHH my God.

*Jaw drops when Anubis leaps out after it* Well he’s gone.

*Jim stabs the handler in the stomach with another rib bone* Ooooohhhh!

Where’s Alex?!?

“Bruce, hand me [Jim] the knife.” WHAT?!?!? NO!

“He [Ra’s] killed Alfred. And then brought him back to life. And Alex's grandfather was afraid of this knife. I can't give it to him.” Bruuuccee!!

*yells in horror when Ra’s kills Alex*

God dang it… GUYYSSSSS!!

“This is all my fault.” Bruce, this is not!

“Alex is dead because of me. I killed him.” Bruce….

“Your [Ed’s] riddles suck.” HAHA!

“The answer was Stoker’s Cemetery. Only an idiot wouldn’t see that.” Nooo…

“Tell me, how long did it take you to come up with those riddles?” “I don’t know. A minute? Two minutes? A few hours… six hours.” What?

OK, that’s terrible.

“Oswald, I’m [Ed] gonna shoot you.” *In best Jerome impression* In the face!

*Mr. Freeze walks in* Oooooohhh!

“You remember him? My other Victor?” The other Victor!

“Stop. I changed my mind.” Oh my freaking- OSWALD!

I am so sick of this! They keep going back and forth on this whole Oswald and Ed weird friendship/relationship thingy!

*Jim grabs Sofia’s hand before she can touch him* Hoooo….

Oh my God..

*Jim and Sofia end up kissing* OH my God…

Oh…Oh…

*Jim and Sofia end up making out on the couch* OOHHHHH!!

Oh my gosh, why are they putting Ra’s in freaking Blackgate?

Oh my gosh, he [Ra’s] has the haircut!

*jams out to the ending theme*

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llama-head · 4 years ago

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Transcript Under the Cut

Marcus: Jesus Christ Paolo.

Paolo: I’m sorry! We started doing closing shots and I got carried away.

Marcus: Do you need help getting home?

Jay: You’re staying at your mom’s right?

Paolo: Yes, and help would be nice. I might pass out in an Uber.

Jay: I got this Marcus.

Marcus: Alrighty.

Summer: Paolo’s never been able to handle his liquor. You think he’s fine until he’s really, really not.

Houda: Oh yeah, I’ve had my fair share of drunk Paolo. He was Jay’s best man.

Cassandra: Oh god. I barely remember my reception so I can’t judge him for that night. I feel great tonight though.

Houda: But will you remember tonight?

Cassandra: We’ll see in the morning!

Emory: See I didn’t get that drunk tonight, I can walk by myself.

Griffin: That’s good.

Emory: Though my alcohol tolerance is very high.

Griffin: I know, you drank probably double than me and I’m feeling it.

Emory: You have such a nice side profile babe. Very sexy.

Griffin: I was unaware a profile could be sexy.

Emory: Will I be sitting it on it tonight?

Griffin: Jesus Christ...of course.

Summer: I hate that I’m hearing any of this.

Travis: Do I have a sexy side profile?

Sofia: Mmmm, you used to.

Travis: Wow, thanks.

Sofia: I’ll still sit on it though.

Travis: Oh, that’s good news. Is that a promise?

Sofia: Travis...I am so drunk right now that I cannot plan our activities for when we get home.

Travis: Yeah if we’re being real, I’m eating that leftover spaghetti and passing out.

Sofia: Oooo I want spaghetti.

Travis: Sofie, let’s eat spaghetti...in the bed.

Sofia: We’re being wild tonight!

#the pg-13 rating coming in hard right nowwww #lol idk why i wrote what i wrote but i giggled #emory garcia #annette garcia #johnny zest #griffin hoover #paolo rocca #j huntington iii #houda huntington #travis scott #sofia scott #marcus flex #cassandra flex #summer holiday #tw sex talk #garcia v1

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itsybitsylemonsqueezy · 7 years ago

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Gotham 4x05: A Liveblog

Phew... long, long day, super delayed liveblog, but here it is, in all its glory. And frankly, after last time, I am not hoping for much : |

TL;DR - So there was a footrub and- HEY LET’S TALK ABOUT SOLOMON GRUNDY!

You know I’m disappointed in Gotham when I have not been chomping at the bit to see the next episode. If they get ANYTHING right today, I'll be pleased

Buuuutch :c my baby, my angel :cccc

...there’s literally location called “Slaughter Swamp” there’s literally... *throws book on floor* *walks out*

And yeah, I'm sure dumping a mostly dead body in... this swamp is Very Safe and will not lead to Anything Weird Ever. After all, it’s not like the waters in this town have literally resurrected people...

HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. HARVEYYYYY *sobs* Oh god and you look so good and your boyfriend has been AN ALL TIME LOW recently and... HARVEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *cries into 50 pillows*

This season was supposed to be about you two getting married. And instead what do I get? The divorce. I fucking hate how this show writes Jim. HATE.

Is lil Bruce contemplating murder??? Daaaamn boy. Is this show finally actually going to become ABOUT Batman??? Am I actually going to start giving a fuck about Bruce? Jesus, how the turn tables.

Side note: David was younger here, they shot this episode earlier, not later

MMMM, all them good funeral feels for Bruce, MMMMMM. This is fine. I’m sure he’s... fine.

Jim what the fuck, fuck off. None of your shit now.

Oh my GOD Jim, you’re going to lecture ALFRED about PARENTING??? JIM. JIM. REMEMBER WHAT YOUR USELESS ASS WAS DOING FOR LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON? IT WASN’T FUCKING HELPING BRUCE. FUCK YOU.

Why this show is choosing to make me hate Jim is beyond me. Holy fuck.

Bruce, I know you’re not Batman yet but... Batman is No Killing for a reason buddy. *pets* You gotta learn that lesson.

Babs hair this season continues to be... I don’t even know what her style is this season

HOLY FUCK WHY IS RA’S IN A HANNIBAL CAGE. HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

How Hannibal is this show going to get??? HOly SHIT.

Don’t tell me they gave Babs the fucking “soft paper, no clips, no staples, do not accept anything he hands you” rules (that BY THE BY we used on Frank too and that will NEVER stop being hysterical, although most of you are probably not in that fandom) too??/ HOLY FUCK WHAT THE SHIT

RA’S IS NOT A SERIAL KILLER, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY THIS... WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

I want to be paid a dollar every time Gotham borrows from Hannibal because... WOW. wow.

Jesus Fucking Christ What Even Just Happened

Oh thank GOD we’re back in Slaughter Swamp, I’m so sorry for what I said about you earlier, NEVER MIND, you are MUCH better than that, VERY welcoming, bless you Slaughter Swamp

...is that Oswald’s murder trailer? Welp, for the purposes of amusing myself, I’m just going to say that it is. Just come full circle on it. That trailer stays in the family.

Apparently none of you have seen Frankenstein or you would know not to wave fire at the recently returned from the dead : ||||

That... I guess that’s as good a way to get a name as any

*groaning about Sofia’s existence*

Is it an f or a ph? does anyone know? Meh

Mmmm... Oswald’s twitchy, he makes bad decisions when he’s twitchy. Of course, why Oswald should be twitchy now is a mystery. I can only hope the decision to abandon Ed isn’t sitting well with him. BUT that might make Too Much Sense because Fuck This Show

Hi Ed. I see your pill addiction is... still a thing. I’m not sure how i feel about the fact that you turn to drugs when you can’t handle shit.

...okay, I kinda love that Ed is now bad at everything in a new and entirely understandable way, as opposed to when he was bad at everything but we were SUPPOSED to think he was oh so smart (personally I think there are WAY better writing angles in that in regards to hubris and you know... actual fucking development but, WHATEVER writers, you do you). I have no idea where this will eventually lead, probably nowhere, because this show sucks and is determined not to make any progress of any kind but rather run us round and round in the same circles for all eternity, but this gets props for being entertaining if nothing else

“Butch, I have never had an issue with you” ...Ed. Edddddd. I’m. I’m just going to sit here silently.

Butch, I love you to death, you are everything, please drag Ed, both figuratively and literally, back to your cave and fix him. I love you so so much, please take care of him and then the two of you can be bros for life

Niiiiice, Alfred in his casual Night on the Town clothes, mmhmmmmmm

JIM SHUT YOUR FUCKING USELESS WHORE MOUTH YOU SELF-ABSORBED PRICK, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT DEAD WEIGHT TO EVERYONE HERE, DON’T YOU DARE PRESUME TO TELL ALFRED HOW TO PARENT YOU UNWANTED CODPIECE

NANANANANANANANA BATHOOK!

...you’re kidding me, I’m supposed to believe Bruce has memorized the changing of the guard at Blackgate? *siiiiiigh*

...yes, I also keep my ceremonial murder weapons stuffed down my shirt. It’s almost like you need a utility belt or something

I hope to god Sean flubbed that line and everyone just went with it

“Under crackers” is now the only way I am going to refer to my under garments and/or genitals

...OKAY SO GRUNDYGMA IS THE NEW NYGMOBBLEPOT WE ALL KNOW THAT RIGHT?

Holy shit, I thought y’all were just being crack but THIS IS SUDDENLY THE BEST THING ABOUT THIS SHOW I AM IN LOVE THIS IS PERFECT PLEASE GOD MAY THEY NOT RUIN IT IMMEDIATELY

Holy shit, ONE good scene, ONE good fucking scene in A MILLION years, oh... sweet jesus THANK YOU, I’ve waited SO LONG for literally ANYTHING to be good again and HERE IT IS

Uhhh... is Sofia gonna murder Oswald over lunch? Because if so: No.

Oh boy, back to overplot

...okay, I have no idea what to make of Ra’s al Ghul, if he’s lying or not, not a clue

Ed... Ed you REALLY need friends right now, would you please just TRY to human being for a second. Jesus. You’re stupid and you’re still SO BAD at EVERYTHING.

Awww, see, there you go! There you go sweetie, you can be friends!You can do it, good job not letting your only friend burn to death, that’s a good step forward!

Uhhhhhh oh, Oswald��s having mom feels. Oh boy.

Alfred, confirmed 300% more useful than Jim ever was

Poor Oswald... damn, without an Ed as a clutch for balance, Oswald’s spinning his wheels. This is 100% what I expected when the season started, but I”m a little upset at the pacing. This should have been obvious and building from day 1 and AGAIN, LAST episode should have had a VERY different emotional tenor. His limp is also atrocious right now, he’s very stressed and jumpy and there are obvious reasons why, but they haven’t PLAYED any of them, which is annoying.

...

. . .

The List Of Things I Could Say Right Now. I’m Just.

do you know who fucking else has seen Oswald’s fe-EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ALL OF THE ANGRY GIFS IN THE WORLD CANNOT EXPRESS MY RAGE

So uh... are you a mummified corpse in all reflective surfaces and you’ve just been avoiding mirrors, or does this trick only work in puddles?

...really milking that death there Alexander. Which is fair, this is a comic book show after all.

GREAT acting on David’s part tho, mad props

Yes, yes, cute jaw drop, very hammy, good job

Jim, I’m pretty sure this is the first time you two have spoken in like... 2 seasons. Just saying. you don’t know each other that well... or at all really.

Also, I‘m not positive killing someone who was immortal and who wanted to die is really murder either. Especially considering he was The Worst. Like... you shouldn’t feel bad, at all, that he’s dead, you’ve actively saved lives by killing him. Even if this is murder, I”m just saying... probably the best murder you could have done. Good job Bruce? Meh, I really don’t have any investment in this storyline, I'll be real.

Ed, why must you lie to your own and only friend? Why Ed? *siiiigh* Baby steps of friendship I guess, baby steps

...annnnnnnnnnnd there it is.

Knew it was too good to be true, couldn’t have ANYTHING nice this season could we. No, no of course not. Ooof course not.

May the all-consuming void swallow me up whole so I don’t have to deal with This.

#Gotham spoilers #Gotham liveblog #Gotham 4x05 #I am half rage half joy #PART of this was nice #part of this was THE WORST EVER

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zoeology31 · 7 years ago

Note

Hey, in a recent post regarding the fandom's ability to misinterpret a character you tagged Mateo and Naomi. I was hoping you could do a character analysis on Mateo and maybe Naomi and also talk about how the fandom normally portrays these characters. Especially in a fandom that, I believe, is filled with really young people, it is hard to find good discussions. I read that one you did on Esteban and it was really informative and spot on. PS Thanks for shipping Eleteo our ship is so small lol!

Sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this! It’s true that the fandom is very young, thanks to the target audience and the fact that a lot of the fanbase is carried over from Sofia the First. I’d estimate that the entire active fandom is under 35 and over half is under 20 (including me tbh, but I try to keep the discussions high-level). And you’re welcome for the Eleteo, I’ve shipped it since the show was first announced. Alright, on to the analysis!

Mateo is tricky because the way he’s characterized by the fandom makes sense in some ways, but it’s also cherry-picking his character to fit an archetype that he doesn’t follow. This is the Nervous Nerd (TV tropes probably has a better name, but I’ll stick with this for now), which is very common in character-driven media and seen in characters like Milo Thatch, Hiccup, and Prince Desmond. You know, the character who’s super smart and reads lots of books, but has really low self-confidence and gets flustered when talking to people. Oh, and usually has a crush on the Confident Female Protagonist/Deuteragonist.

Now Mateo is book-smart, dorky, and has a crush on Elena. And yeah, his self-confidence could use some work. But he’s not generally anxious, in fact he’s usually quite calm and even a source of stability for Elena. In First Day of Rule he’s the one to ask her “What’s the plan?” and willingly follows Elena on her expedition to rescue Isabel. Compare this to Naomi, who everyone thinks of as more assertive, who reacts with surprise when Elena invites her on the mission (“Who, me? But I don’t know how to ride one of those things!”).

In Island of Youth it’s Mateo who comes up with the plan to get the flower and makes sure that they don’t vanish along with the island. I think it’s significant that he pushes the boat off the shore and not Elena, because it shows that he’s willing to put himself in danger to help his friends, just like a leader should. In The Scepter of Light, he goes to stop Orizaba even though it’s clear by how jumpy he is in the temple that he’s kind of scared of her, and when Elena shows up he takes the lead. Then when Elena’s upset because she thinks it’s her fault that Orizaba got the Eye of Midnight, Mateo’s the one to reassure her that there’s still hope and later encourages her to use the Scepter.

Spellbound shows him struggling with feeling that he’s not good enough to be the Royal Wizard or to succeed his grandfather, but these insecurities aren’t part of his normal personality. As @pizzansunshine discusses in her post about the significance of Elena singing The Magic Within You to Mateo, he’s practiced magic illegally for years with no one to share it with, no way to get feedback or know if he’s doing it right. So naturally he would feel inadequate compared to other wizards or sorcerers with a lifetime of resources and experience.

But when Fiero attacks, look how easily and confidently he casts his spells, protecting his friends on the balcony and duelling Fiero in the courtyard. Magic is second nature to Mateo, and when the stakes are high he always comes through. Even as early as Secret of Avalor, where he admits that his spells usually take multiple tries to work, he successfully frees Elena’s family from the painting because he knows she’s counting on him.

Yet for some reason many fanfictions portray Mateo as struggling with his spells and reluctant to accompany Elena on her adventures, or anytime a story does show Mateo being confident people comment that it’s “out of character”. Also for some reason his relationships with the other characters are misconstrued as a rivalry or a weird submissiveness. In canon he snarks amicably with Gabe (Captain Turner Returns), gets exasperated by Naomi (First Day of Rule, My Fair Naomi), isn’t intimidated by Esteban (Island of Youth, My Fair Naomi), and gets along well with Isabel (The Scepter of Light). He doesn’t need Elena to constantly reassure him of his own abilities, not when he’s assertive enough to flirt with her (Spirit Monkey Business).

Tl;dr: Yes, Mateo’s a huge dork and a cinnamon roll, but he’s assertive and supportive, not passive and submissive. And him and Elena are very close and think very highly of one another.

Now for Naomi! (Wow, that was a lot) I’ll try to make this shorter.

In every work with a social media fandom, there’s always one character who is unofficially deemed the favorite and made several times more heroic and badass by fanon. For Elena of Avalor, that character is Naomi. In my dumb EOA tag yourself meme that has somehow become my most popular post, I noticed that easily the most tags were for Nyan Cat (Naomi). People can identify with her because she’s non-royal, snarky, self-confident, and tomboyish, like Cassandra from the Tangled series (also a tumblr fave).

But this is one of Naomi’s biggest traits, often ignored to fit her more neatly into the Sassy Best Friend archetype: she’s ambitious. It shows quite a bit in First Day of Rule—she argues with the chancellor (Esteban was the public face of the government, she has to know who he is), jokes about wanting the power to turn objects into gold, and reacts with enthusiasm upon being chosen for the Grand Council. Most 15-year-olds probably would have at least asked “Isn’t there someone more qualified than me?”, but Naomi is excited to be handed a major government position.

Her first solo Something Special really highlights this. I’ve gotta do something special/If I’m gonna be someone special/Gotta shine so bright with a blinding light/Like a star I’ll be celestial… This isn’t just her trying to prove herself to Esteban, it’s her wanting to be important, to make an impact. In Captain Turner Returns, we see Naomi’s thrived on the Grand Council, taking on projects like restoring the lighthouse and making a difference in the lives of all the people, just like she wanted.

In My Fair Naomi, although Esteban is the instigator, Naomi absolutely eats up the idea of being the center of attention. It’s not like the STF episode Tea for Too Many (though it’s similar), where Amber is constantly prodding Sofia to make everything grander and more elaborate. Here Naomi quickly takes over the party planning, making a floral arrangement of her own face and picking out ostentatious dresses for herself and Elena on her own initiative. She’s ambitious, confident, and not very humble, something that could be used for good or bad. In this way Naomi’s a lot more like Esteban than she’d ever admit, and it makes for a much more interesting dynamic.

Tl;dr: Naomi’s a lot more complex and potentially morally grey than people make her out to be, and the supportive, funny best friend personality that people assign to her might just work better on Mateo.

#answered asks #elena of avalor #eoa #mateo de alva #naomi turner #character study #analysis #sorry this is long I had a lot to say #long post #my stuff

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5hfanfiction · 8 years ago

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The Maid - Chapter 4

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply, trying to prepare myself for what awaited me. When I closed the door and walked over to the kitchen, Normani was already facing Camila with a look of curiosity and a little smirk plastered on her face. Camila, on the other hand, looked surprised and pretty uncomfortable under my best friend’s gaze.

“So, aren’t you going to introduce me?” Normani turned to look at me now while rising her left eyebrow. I rolled my eyes in response, only after making sure Camila wasn’t looking.

“Camila, this is Normani. Mani, this is Camila, she’s going to be working here, you know cooking and cleaning, yeah…” I explained and saw the two girls in front of me politely smile to each other and shake hands.

“Nice to meet you, Camila” the ebony skinned woman expressed accompanied with a warm smile.

“You too, Miss-”, Camila struggled to find the correct name and got cut by my friend voice.

“Just call me Normani, girl. We don’t need the formalism crap”.

Camila smiled and nodded politely, she then took a look at her watch and opened her mouth to speak again “Miss Jauregui, I got to get going. My family is waiting for me to have dinner” she informed in an affable tone, presumably, trying not to sound rude from excusing herself from the previous conversation.

“Oh, so you found what you were looking for?” I asked.

“Yep” she answered showing her student ID.

“Oh, no girl, you’re not going nowhere” Normani spoke and we both turned to look at her. Camila appeared to be incredibly uncomfortable and I understood her completely, I was aware of how my best friend could be sometimes. “I got to get to know Lauren’s new maid, right? Plus, you seem like a really cool girl and…I brought sushi” she wiggled the white plastic bag containing the said food.

“I-I reall-” Camila stuttered.

“I’m not taking a no for an answer, Camila. And, I mean, you can just call home and say you won’t be eating there tonight. I don’t think they’ll mind” my best friend interrupted.

I was simply watching the interaction in silence, it wasn’t like I had anything to say either.

Camila seemed hesitant, but ended up accepting the invitation. We all walked towards the kitchen and helped set the table after spending some time trying to convince Camila to let us cooperate. When everything was ready the maid excused herself and went to the bathroom leaving Normani and me alone.

I grabbed some chopsticks and used them to capture a piece of smoked salmon sushi roll, but when I was about to taste that little fragment of heaven, Normani grasped my hands and brought me near her causing the piece of Japanese food to fly to the other side of the table.

“Mani! What the fuck?” I furrowed me eyebrows and send her an irritated look.

“Shut your mouth. Why didn’t you tell me she looked like…THAT?” Normani whisper-screamed in an enthusiastic manner.

“Mani, again with this? I know you came here because you have some weird plan going on to try and get me and Camila… involved”, I struggled to find the right word to name whatever my friend desired to happen between Camila and me.

“Yes, you’re right. And now that I witnessed with my own eyes how cute she is and how whipped you already are, I’m definitely going through with my plan and see if she’s interested too”

“No, you are not doing anything. Also, I’m not whipped and she’s not interested. She’s just working to get some extra money, that’s it” I explained seriously.

“Not until I see it for myself. Just go along with me, ok.” she explained as she calmly sipped her wine. I groaned and brought both of my hands closer to my head to massage my temples.

I didn’t say anything else, I knew Normani wouldn’t just give up on this so easily, so the best I could do was to stop trying to rationally control her craziness and pray that what was about to happen wouldn’t be so embarrassing.

Camila’s POV

I was locked inside the bathroom freaking out and feeling a little disheartened from the interaction I had witnessed a few minutes before. I had already informed my parents that I wouldn’t be joining them for dinner and now I was frenetically texting Dinah, catching her up on everything that’d happened. I needed some moral support with this situation.

Dinah-Sooo is she like her girlfriend?

Me- Idk. They didn’t say, but they looked pretty close.

Dinah-Mila, you and I are also pretty close. She’s probably just her friend.

Me-She was hot af too. I swear, she was like some sort of goddess. Maybe I should just give up.

Dinah- Nah uh. Just get your Cuban ass out of the bathroom and find some real proof that they’re something before giving up. Go, Mila, I’m serious.

Me- Aghhh. Fine.

I locked my phone and looked up at my reflection on the mirror and let out a deep breath. You can do this, Camila. It’s just a regular dinner with the boss you have are attracted to and her girlfriend/friend… just, don’t overthink everything so much, ok. Just go out there and act like you normally would.

And with that little self-motivational speech I got out of the bathroom and walked back to the dinner table. The ebony skinned girl was sitting next to Miss Jauregui so I positioned myself on the seat opposite to them.

“So, we are ready to dig in ladies. I’m so fucking hungry” Normani informed passionately as she started eating and then hummed happily. The cute gesture actually brought a smile to my face, even if she was a little straight forward, intimidating and slightly cheeky, she seemed to be a cool and overall charming person, she even reminded me of Dinah in certain aspects.

“So, Camila. What’s your deal?”

“My deal?” I asked furrowing my eyebrows and she just nodded.

“Who are you? What you do? What you like? WHO you like? You know, all that stuff” she explained nonchalantly bringing another sushi to her mouth.

“Can you stop interrogating her?” Miss Jauregui butted in.

“It’s fine” I reassured my boss. “Hmmm, well, I’m half Cuban from my mother’s side and half Mexican from my dad’s. I have one little sister named Sofia and she’s eleven and super smart. I’m studying pediatrics because I’ve always loved kids, helping others and biology. My hobbies are pretty much the typical, watching series, listening to music and reading. Not really a sport person, but since I’ll be working in the medical field, I´m well aware that some physical activity here and there is important for the body and mind…and I feel like I’m just rambling” I let out a small and breathy laugh to try and mask my embarrassment. I attempted to give a general overlook of my life to the girls sitting across from me.

“Look at you, girl. You not only have the brains and are kind, but also hot as fuck” she complimented and I formed a smiled embarrassed. “So basically, there’s no way that you’re single”

I couldn’t help but slightly snort at her remark. “I am, actually” I informed and took a sip of the white wine that was placed in front of me. I unconsciously looked over to my boss and our eyes met for a second, but she averted them immediately. When looking back at the ebony skinned girl I swore I saw a faint trace of a smirk plastered on her face as she quickly alternated her gaze between Miss Jauregui and me.

“Wow. That’s pretty surprising, but I’m sure you’ll find a person as perfect as you really soon” she commented while looking for something on the table. “We forgot the napkins”.

“I got it” my boss stood up, fixing the tight black skirt she was wearing and I just couldn’t help but stare more than necessary. As she was about to walk away, the other girl suddenly slapped her ass playfully and my eyes widened. Miss Jauregui stopped for a second and turned her head to smirk at the girl and I looked away. Ok, so maybe they aren’t just friends, but Dinah also slaps my butt every now and then when we are joking around. That doesn’t mean anything. Right? I analyzed the action, internally.

“Camila?” Normani waved her hand in front of my face, getting me out of my internal debate.

“Uh, sorry. What?” I asked and the girl smirked for like the fifth time in the night. I was pretty confused about what was going on. Maybe she really is my boss’ friend and she’s just flirting with me or something, I mean that would be the only reason behind all the stares and smirking.

“I asked you if you want more wine” she stated while holding the bottle and Miss Jauregui came back from the kitchen with the napkins and let herself drop on the chair.

“No, thank you. Tomorrow I need to wake up early”

“So when are you going to stop interrogating the poor girl, Mani?” my beautiful boss looked at her while resting her face on the palms of her hands.

“Calm your tits, Lauren. Camila said she was fine, but you’re making a deal out of it. See, this is why you need sex” she fired back and I almost choked on my sushi.

“Shut up! Oh my God Mani. What the fuck?” Miss Jauregui practically screamed in disbelief. Her face was tainted by a shade of red and I couldn’t help to smile at her cuteness and embarrassment. I couldn’t believe she was the owner of a billion dollars’ worth company.

A little joy invaded my body due to the information the brown eyed girl had just shared. So they are not a couple nor having sex, they’re just friends, I said to myself trying to contain my bliss from appearing in the form of a smirk.

However, a sudden realization came to me, interrupting my internal celebration, ‘that’s why you need sex’, I quoted the ebony skinned girl’s blunt comment in my head. This statement granted me important information regarding two things, the first one insinuated that these two beautiful women in front of me didn’t share any type of emotional or sexual relationship and this did relieved my infatuated soul, but the second deduction was the most surprising for me, it was pretty literal and direct ‘you need sex’.

I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that information. How could someone that attractive possibly need some extra “love”? I’m sure people literally throw themselves at her when they see her at clubs. She’s fucking hot and rich, like please, I thought before hearing a voice, which brought me back to reality.

“Did we really ate all the sushi already?” the dark skinned girl asked surprised. “Damn”.

“You mean, YOU ate all the sushi”, my boss fired back, obviously still mad at her friend for sharing private information regarding her sex life to her new maid.

Their little dispute gave me time to revise my watch, it was already 9 p.m. I seriously needed to head back home, since the next day I had to wake up early for school.

“Miss Jauregui” I almost whispered, trying to politely intervene their pretty entertaining bickering. She immediately turned her head to look at me. “I’m going to wash these and then head home, it’s getting pretty late and tomorrow I have to get up early”.

The green eyed woman opened her mouth, seemingly to utter some response, but was interrupted by the girl sitting beside her.

“Oh, shoot. I forgot, I-I need to go to Ally’s and get my black heels back” the ebony skinned girl confessed as she stood up and gathered her purse and cellphone. “I’d gladly help, but this is an emergency. Nice to meet you Camila. Bye Laur, see you tomorrow” she winked.

The girl had behaved in a pretty extravagant way all throughout dinner so I was not at all surprised about her sudden goodbye.

“Norm-” my boss tried to speak before being cut by the sound of the main door closing.

I heard her sigh and when I turned to look at her she was rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger mumbling something I wasn’t capable of decoding, but a hint of frustration was notoriously present in her indecipherable sounds. She stopped her previous actions and looked at me with a tired and apologetic look plastered on her face.

“Sorry about that. She can be really…”

“Intense and a little crazy?” I completed her sentence with a questioning intonation, trying not to be rude towards her friend’s odd and unique behavior.

“Yeah” she chuckled and inhaled some air deeply to then turn her head to the dining table. “So I guess we should get started”. She approached the shiny piece furniture and started collecting some of the dirty dishes.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do it” I moved closer trying to grab the stained plates from her hands.

“Camila, chill, ok. I’m just going to put them inside the dishwasher, I’m not going to die.” She assured me with a warm smile painted on her full lips, revealing her white pearls. “Besides, today isn’t even your work day, so calm down. We´re doing this together”.

I ended up obeying her orders, and we both cleaned the table in no time. Before she could stop me, I grabbed the broom and swept some rice grains that had fell on the floor and then disposed of them in the trash can. I placed the broom in its usual spot and looked at Miss Jauregui.

“See, that was easy and fast because we worked together” she explained as if she was talking to a little child.

“Ok, Barney.” I scoffed and she let out an airy and husky laugh, I couldn’t contain my own lips from curving upwards as a response to the contagious and harmonious sound.

With the air still infected by humor I decided to take a glance to my watch and I gasped when I saw the hands of the clock indicating 9:34 p.m.

“I really got to get going, now. Yesterday I slept like three hours and felt like a zombie all day long, so tonight I need to compensate” I informed her.

“Well, I can give you a ride” Miss Jauregui offered as she brushed her fingers through her black hair guiding some strands to rest on her left shoulder. And, honestly, I’d never seen something sexier.

“That’s-

“Just say thank you, Camila. Why you so stubborn?” she started moving towards the main entrance only stopping to grab her car keys resting on the key holder to then open the door and step out. “C’mon Camila”.

I sighed with my hands placed on each side of my hips as I watched her disappear through the door. I smiled and shook my head, she’s stubborn too, I thought internally.

I decided to give in to her insisting kindness and started walking in a fast pace trying to catch up with her.

“Camila, can you lock the door, please?” I saw her screaming from her position besides a gigantic and fancy looking black jeep.

“Sure” I took the keys out of my purse and did as she ask. After checking if I had locked it correctly I jogged to the car, Miss Jauregui already settled on the driver’s seat.

At first, I slightly struggled to get inside the damn jeep, it was too tall for my short legs to reach easily and I almost tripped, but, finally, I was able to accommodate myself on the black leather seat. When I turned to look at the black haired woman beside me, she had a smirk draw on her face, probably finding my attempts to get inside her car entertaining.

“That was hard, huh? I was about to go get you a ladder” she joked and I simply returned a serious expression.

“Ha ha” I answered, sarcastically.

“I’m just joking. I struggled a lot to get inside this thing when I first bought it too. I’m not that much taller than you. Oh, shit, that rhymed”, she exclaimed with a cocky expression and I just couldn’t contain my laughter. How is this dork a fucking multi-millionaire? , I questioned myself with disbelief.

Still showing an amused expression, she turned to the steering wheel as she performed her frequent and very sexy action of accommodating her hair to one side. It definitely was a very distracting habit.

She turned the key in the ignition causing the engine to rumble and the vehicle to gently vibrate, before stepping on the accelerator and guiding us towards the exit.

I couldn’t help my eyes from noticing the way in which her tight black dress rolled up leaving some of her pale and smooth looking thighs exposed. I licked my lips and unconsciously allowed my mind to create not so innocent scenarios.

I wondered what it would be like to feel her skin under my fingers, to stroke her sensible and soft inner thighs and feel her muscles tensing up in response. To slowly move my hands upwards, slightly scratching her creamy looking skin, while hearing her uneven breathing and husky whimpers, and finally reach-

“Camila”

“Huh, yes” I adverted my gaze quickly to redirect it at her face. I felt my check warm from being caught staring at her. It was already pretty dark, so I could appreciate only what the natural light of the moon allowed me of her figure. Her face didn’t display any kind of reaction to my inappropriate and irrepressible glare, but her beautiful green eyes, which that night also contained some yellow and turquoise tones, were full of emotions.

I saw passion, curiosity, loneliness, but most of it all, I saw fear. What could someone with so much power fear? What could bring so much terror to the fascinating and stunning woman sitting beside me?

Lauren Jauregui intrigued me. She was a mystery. And I wanted to find out, what scared her, what moved her, what was of her liking, what was not. I wanted to discover her. I wanted her, all of her. God, I must be going crazy, I thought.

“Right or left?” she asked, never disconnecting our gazes.

“Right” I responded, still maintaining our rather intense interchange of stares.

She finally looked away and followed my indications. The streets were pretty clear, but, eventually, we got stuck in a traffic jam.

“Do you mind if I play some music?”

“Y-yeah, I mean, you don’t even have to ask. It’s your car, after all” I replied.

“Okay. I just wanted to make sure.” She explained and then connected the aux chord to her iPhone. After tapping both of her thumbs frantically on the screen, seemingly in search for a specific song, the speakers began to reproduce a very catchy and smooth R&B beat that I recognized as Say It Again by H.E.R.

Seriously, I didn’t understand how someone could be so damn perfect. This woman was dotted with intelligence, beauty, a kind heart, and an impeccable taste in music. I was eager to find more qualities and habits to marvel at.

I examined the way she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel following the rhythm of the music as she studied the chaotic and vigorous Miami scenery throughout the window.

“Do you like it?” she asked, suddenly.

“What?”

“The music”

“Oh, yes. I love her, I mean H.E.R, well, yes, her too…” I rambled before hearing a soft chuckle from my left side and I simply turned away from her to look outside my window, avoiding any eye contact. I’m so embarrassing. I want to be dead.

We stayed in silence for some minutes. It wasn’t an awkward silence like the other times, but a comfortable and calming one. We just sat there, listening to music, waiting for the traffic to slowly advance.

At one point, she started humming the lyrics to some song and her voice, from what I could discern, sounded amazing, it was soulful and, like the rest of her, incredibly attractive. I almost asked her to sing louder so that I could be able to hear her raw voice, but I, surprisingly, controlled myself and kept my mouth shut.

The traffic finally began to move and disperse through different courses so Miss Jauregui was able to increment the speed and in no time we were parked in front of my house.

The light of the living room was on and also my parents’ bedroom one; it wasn’t that late after all. I, then, turned to look at the woman sitting beside me and sudden flashbacks of our last good bye flooded my mind evoking certain embarrassment and worry for the interaction that was about to occur to grow inside me.

Please don’t do some stupid shit again, Camila. I warned myself in my head.

“Thank you so much for wasting your time to-“

“That’s ok” she assured me with a warm smile.

“Thank you again, Miss Jauregui. Have nice night” I politely returned her smile as I got out of the car.

“You too” I heard her say.

She didn’t drive away until I opened my house front door and looked back at her watching for me inside the car.

What a day. What a fucking day.

Lauren POV

I was back home, brushing my teeth, after having taken a very needed and relaxing hot shower. It had been a very hectic and crazy day, mainly because of Normani and all of her secret planning. I did, however, enjoy the short time I spent with Camila, we shared some good laughs and long stares that I didn’t know how to interpret.

I put my toothbrush back into its little vessel and wiped my mouth with a white towel and then proceeded to apply some moisturizing cream on my face, not really focusing on what I was doing. I let my mind divert again.

Camila’s eyes had looked so intense and captivating in our little stare battle, or, well it wasn’t like a battle at all, but more of like a bet or challenge. Her hazel brown eyes stared at me with timidity, yet some hidden determination was perceivable.

I turned my bathroom’s light off and approached my king size bed, which I threw myself down onto, before laying comfortably on my back. It was pretty hot that night, so I left my body uncovered as I let my eyelids close and waited for my tiredness to have effect, but the only thing that I could see were those eyes staring at me.

People didn’t appreciate brown eyes enough, they always commented on blue or green ones, probably because they were considered more unique and only a small amount of percentage of people around the world had them. However, for me, it wasn’t about the color, but about the emotions and stories that were hidden behind them.

Someone could have the most unique and extravagant mixture of tones, but without live or intensity escaping from them. What could be so attractive about blue blank and plain eyes? What do my eyes transmit? Do they really tell my story?

Maybe people were destined to decode only a specific person’s eyes and that’s why some found one pair more compelling and enchanting than other. Ok, I definitely need to sleep. Am I high? I said to myself after analyzing my previous thoughts.

I wasn’t sure about the rest. The only thing I knew was that that night, I immersed myself into sleep, thinking about a specific pair of lively dark chocolate eyes that evoked in me a confusing paradox of feelings.

#UPDATE #series #AU #camren #humour #romance fluff #submission #The Maid

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lunar-stories-blog · 8 years ago

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Filipinx Faces, Bodies, and Voices: Shalemar Coloma

I first came across Shalemar Coloma’s documentary work at “Reclaiming the Past and Rallying the Present,” an A/P/A BRIDGE (Asian/Pacific/Americans Building Relationships to Inspire Diversity, Growth, and Empowerment) activism installation held in April. A sophomore at Tisch, Shalemar has been exploring intersectional identity through her filmmaking. (She also wears an amazing hot pink fur coat that I want to cop.) Because it was finals week, we met Shalemar in the lobby of Bobst, where we were lying on one of the black couches, staring up into the abyss of failed hopes and dreams, to talk about London Tipton, being Filipinx, and her recent work. -Elaine

What's your name and what do you do?

My name’s Shalemar Coloma. I go to Tisch for film, and I guess I consider myself a filmmaker.

Wait, can I just say I was really confused because I was looking at your Instagram (@shlemarcolofe) and your name was different…

Yeah, it’s really bad. In eighth grade I was on my local news station because Michelle Obama came to town, and she was hosting this screening of Harry Potter. And so I was one of the people in line and they were like let’s interview some people, and I was interviewed about two of my favorite things back then, Michelle Obama and Harry Potter. And they were like spell your name so we can write it, and I swear I spelled it correctly but it came out like, Shlemar Colofe. And now that is just like haunting me. [But you’ve embraced it into your identity, that’s cool.] Yeah! I have to. I’m re-appropriating it.

Can you tell us about the documentary you recently worked on that was at the A/P/A BRIDGE exhibition?

Yeah, it was an anthology of films, it was three parts. And two of them I had done in my Sight and Sound documentary class. It’s weird, I didn’t come here to make Asian-centric films or things about my identity, I was like, I’m Filipino but I want to break boundaries and write for Broad City and be a person of color somewhere! But it became more personal because I was starting to realize, oh my gosh, being Filipino I don’t feel very visible here and I was constantly confronted with that and felt this super super big urgency to make films about Asian Americans and Filipino Americans. And that is called no history, no self.

I feel this sense that I still need to keep making stuff because when I was growing up there wasn't much and I had to either identify with like...if there was an Asian American it was London Tipton! Which was like, thank God. If there was anyone, it was Brenda Song. But being forced as a Filipino to have to identify with Chinese or Japanese or East Asians...there's definitely similarities in our cultural experiences but there is so much that is different. I felt the world was constantly telling me, this is who you are, when that's so obviously not true. And I think that's what the Asian American experience is. Or at least one of the issues in the Asian American community.

Where'd you grow up?

I grew up in Virginia. But my dad was in the military, so we lived in Japan and California. I liked Virginia. I think I grew up pretty diverse, I don't know. There's a whole bunch of people there, and in Virginia Beach since it's a military city, there's a lot of Filipinos there. They were always kinda around. I always felt different being in school. But I knew they were there, they were around the city so it didn't feel like I'm so different and I'm like a Filipino girl in a sea of white people! It wasn't really like that. But here it feels different.

Would you say that growing up you were connected with Filipino culture?

I think I was by default in it, just 'cause of my parents. But I never really felt connected to it. Especially when I was a younger teenager, I felt like I was super trying to distance myself from it and I don't think I had the language to know what I was doing at that moment. It was like, ok, I'm going to listen to Vampire Weekend and Wes Anderson movies! I wanna be just like them. But I wasn't realizing what I was thinking, I was thinking, oh I wanna be like them, but I was also thinking like, oh I don't wanna be eating this food or having this skin.

I would think that but I didn't know that that was bad or anything. It was all internalized. I thought I was like, much different from all the other Filipino girls in my city. I like Sofia Coppola, like oh wow I'm so edgy! I think a lot of the Filipinos I knew were really involved with the cultural scene and traditional dance, and I was like I don't want to do that, I want to be way different from all these people.

What was the biggest change coming to New York for you, identity-wise?

I think towards the end of my high school career I was thinking about what it meant to be Filipino. But I wasn't actively making the choice to be like, yeah that's what I'm going to go to school and talk about. I think that was the biggest change for me, when this year was like...I always didn't want to be considered a Filipino artist or have that be a thing for me, I just wanted to be an artist and blah blah blah, but it became like, this is what I am. And I need to make it for us, for my community. It's so urgent for me now. It's so urgent for me to make things, just to show...like, what it means for me to be Filipino to people who aren't, but also to show Filipino faces and Filipino things for people who are, so they can see it. That's the most important thing to me.

What do you think spurred that change to make things for Filipinos, where before it wasn't as urgent but now it is?

I took Sight and Sound documentary and had all these weird ideas. Like I wanted to interview this guy who does holograms and do all these random things, but then I joined A/P/A BRIDGE and was learning all these things about my history and about Asian American activism. And I was like, what the heck why don't I know this at all? You learn all these things and you realize there's a precedent to you and to your whole history. Sometimes it's not even about forgetting, it really just is ignorance. I didn't know anything before that. I didn't know we had this whole thing going on with Asian American activism. Learning about that made me think about just like my personal family and my experiences, and I just decided I wanted to talk about them more.

What is the importance of having Asian American activism for you?

While everyone is constantly saying that Asian Americans don't do shit...which I think is true, I definitely think we're not as active and we could definitely be more supportive...It's outright false that we never did anything. It's important to learn about that stuff because I remember when I was learning about it, I was like, oh my god I need to do more, 'cause it makes you feel like, I don't want whatever they did to be for nothing. I want it to have a meaning, that their legacy is carried on. And yeah, it definitely inspires you. It's kinda corny but it definitely inspired me to do more in the way that I can. I don't really think of myself as an activist, because at least that word is more organizing, community building, all these things that I'm just like, I don't know how to do that. For me I just know that film is the one thing that I'm good at. I'm not really good at many things except that. If I can use that for building, understanding, I think that is important to me.

"It's so urgent for me to make things, just to show...like, what it means for me to be Filipino to people who aren't, but also to show Filipino faces and Filipino things for people who are, so they can see it. That's the most important thing to me."

How long have you making films for?

I knew I wanted to be a filmmaker when I was 13. I grew up knowing I wanted to be something creative. I had a lot of different things--I wanted to be a Harlem Globetrotter! (laughs) They're very inspiring. But I always made my own picture books and stuff like that, I would write and draw. Like, I really love storytelling and even when I was a kid I would tell these stories to my sister. But I knew I wasn't good at prose, and I know I'm shit at drawing. So I was like, ok what's visual and writing? When I was 12, 13 my sister got into Tumblr so then we were also trolling through Tumblr and learning about like, Sofia Coppola, Wes Anderson, Quentin Tarantino, all the white culture that you ever knew. So I was learning about this stuff and getting into film and I was like ok, yeah, I knew at 13 I'm going to be a filmmaker.

Has your family been supportive of that?

Oh yeah. There's definitely that stereotype that being Asian and creative is like, no, but like, my mom loves it. I think she really really loves it. I always want her in my films, and she's such a diva, so she really wants to be in it. I really truly see all of my identity because of my parents. Me being Filipino is inherited from them, and so if I lose that then I won't know who I am anymore! It's so corny, but it really truly does feel like that. [Amy: Yeah, I don't know if this is an Asian thing or not but intergenerational things are super important.]

Do you feel that Tisch is a good environment to explore these issues in? Do you feel supported?

Yeah. I think it's mostly because I found friends who also go through these things. I have collaborated a lot with people about these things, and that's where I feel supported. I definitely have professors that I go to, I have one who's Filipino and she's great, I'm chill, we're always in contact. I feel supported through her but I don't really go into classes expecting that, that like oh, they're going to understand me, they're going to have a conversation about race! Also just because there's so many instances that things happen and it doesn't get addressed and it's hard to be the only person of color there and to bring it up and like, just feels really weird. I think there are a lot of people in Tisch who are really good and who wanna support other people who go through these things.

Do you mostly do documentaries?

I don't know. It's hard because I feel like I haven't made a lot of things outside of what I do in class, so like I started out in a documentary class and then I went into a filmmaking class. I think the work I have right now is pretty even, like documentary and film. I wouldn't say I'm one or the other. I think I like everything. Like I wanna do everything. I wanna make an animated series, I don't really know. Whatever serves the story best, whatever story I wanna tell is gonna happen. I don't really wanna limit myself in that way.

Can you talk about any of the films you've made specifically? Like the process, or the meanings that you're trying to convey?

I think the big thing of getting Filipino faces, bodies, and voices, is really important to do. For me personally, with my newest film it's overt, like it starts off with a karaoke sequence, and that's how I grew up, going to potlucks and having to sit and watch my aunties sing Whitney Houston and having to be there for five hours straight. So I wanna do that and create things that call back to those moments in my life and those experiences that I know a lot of other Filipino people experienced. I want them to see that, 'cause it's really hard to see that in film. I had to relate to so many white people all my life, and I would like to not have to anymore. Especially for other Filipino people, I want them to not have to. I think with everything I'm making or trying to make, there's little hints of that. It could either be super overt, like in my newest film there's an old Filipino tale and people dancing tinikling and things that are so overtly that. But there are other hints where it'll just be like about me taking a shower or something.

There's another film I made that's about, like you know when you're in the shower and you go out of the shower but you kind of just sit in the bathroom? So it's that moment where you're just in your towel sitting on your toilet, and so the whole concept is this girl's on the phone with her friend, her boyfriend, and her mom, and she cuts in between conversations. But during this time frame she's also gonna tell her boyfriend she loves him that night 'cause she's getting ready for a date. But she also realizes that she's gay, and a lot goes on but it's only set in the bathroom. But with my mom, she says like, anak, and these little Filipino words. In the film, she's like, there's a Filipino couple on House Hunters, did you see the episode? I know my mom would get excited about seeing a Filipino couple on House Hunters.

But that's not like, Filipino commentary and me doing a whole analysis of Filipino experiences. Sometimes I just don't wanna do that, and sometimes I do. I want as much of a volume that balances between the two, where it's like this is overtly this, but also this isn't my entire life, where it's centered around me being Filipino, it's also just like sometimes I...I don't know! Go to Bobst! I really don't. That's a lie. But sometimes I just am just sitting in the shower and not thinking about being Filipino. I just exist as that and go about my day. But sometimes I'm just confronted with it and have to think about it. And so I think I want to make a bunch of different films that normalize the Asian American experience and not always about like, oh my, what is my strict dad going to think when I don't wanna be a doctor?! I'm really tired of that and I think we all are. I think it's important for me to have as much as possible. There's just so many different kinds of people who are Asian.

"I had to relate to so many white people all my life, and I would like to not have to anymore. Especially for other Filipino people, I want them to not have to."

Where do you think you get most of your inspiration from? You said when you were younger you got it from a lot of white culture…

It's really interesting, 'cause like, I remember when I was younger and into Sofia Coppola, Quentin Tarantino and Wes Anderson, my writing was that. It was just like, straight ripped from Fight Club, I wasn't actually writing anything original. I was like, oh, what are white people on Tumblr gonna like? I'm gonna write for them. Like, I wasn't writing from my experiences. I think a lot of things I write from are from stupid conversations I have with my friends. I don't really know where it comes from, but I feel like writing is so natural for me, like, I can beat it out in an hour. Dialogue is super easy to me.

I feel like I'm always noticing things about people or trying to understand things about people and trying to be as empathetic as possible. I think when you are like that, writing people and humans is super easy if you're constantly caring about them. Like, oh, they say this in a funny way or they say this one phrase in a funny way. There's this kid, the other day, my friend asked him if he smoked, and he was like, 'Big time.' Like, who says big time? (laughs) Like little things I like, he just looked straight off into the horizon and said 'big time.' He wasn't even looking at us, like, what are you thinking about? Jesus, Robert! It was so funny and I don't know, I'm so interested in other people and want to know them more. But I don't wanna be like, writing is so easy! Oh God, I was born with it! Like no, it's obviously very hard but I think it's also just 'cause I take so much time to understand other people.

Do you want to go into screenwriting?

Yeah, I definitely thought I was gonna be a TV writer. I'm keeping my options open, I think I definitely want to keep writing though. I think writing is the easiest for me. I just don't know how to approach it and be like, ok world, I'm a writer, take me. I don't know how to do that, so I just try to...I do sound design and I do other things and hopefully one thing I can write and direct and be super in control of everything that I make.

"Sometimes I just am just sitting in the shower and not thinking about being Filipino. I just exist as that and go about my day. But sometimes I'm just confronted with it and have to think about it."

What has your experience been like in the casting of your films? And getting a crew?

I haven't had to be in charge of a really big production, so I'm just like naturally, hey you are my friend, will you do this? So naturally, people who are in my crew and my classes were people of color. That's just who I gravitate towards, the person who's just gonna understand me the best. A lot of them are queer, and I don't know, when that exists already I don't have to think about it too much because I know I want to work with you guys. I have like, one white friend.

Next semester is when I do my 'big production class' and I have to make a film, and I definitely will be conscious of that because I've definitely been on sets where it was like basically all white people and that sucks. I did recently try to cast Filipino people which was super tough. I tried to go on Backstage and look for Filipino people but there was nothing. There were also people who were Chinese American, and I was like, that's not really what I'm looking for. I'm kinda scared because for my next film there is a little Filipino girl in it, and I've been trying to think like, is that even possible to ~find~ her?...Who is she? (laughs) So I've just been trying to figure out if this can even be made in this time frame at this school. Is that feasible? And it also involves a Filipino teenager that I have to think about also because I can't just act in all of my films, even though that's how it is right now, because there isn't really anyone else. Finding a Filipino person is difficult when everything I wanna make right now revolves around that.

Watch a clip from Shalemar’s film, The Filipino Picture Show, here.

Follow Shalemar’s insta here and see more of her work here.

Interview by Elaine Lo and Amy Ni

#interview #shalemar coloma #filipinx #film

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finderskeepersff · 5 years ago

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52. Part 2

Amira is making me feel so much more better, I just worry for the man I love and then my son. I don’t hate Cassius for doing what he is doing but I just want him safe, he’s making sure I am safe but what about him “girl, Kyle’ balls near fell out, called me like what do you mean picture? Are you crazy, I tried but anyways. I heard Cassius telling him to get off the phone, I hope your man ain’t bullying mine” Amira rolled her eyes “I really do praise you Amira, you’re so calm about this. It doesn’t scare you, like at all?” She is just so calm “oh when I was like you, so new to the game I was scared for him. I would know the name Cassius and that is it. Only met Myles and Isabella but Cassius was like no, I would say can I meet him? Y’all are bros, Kyle would say no. So I was like Kyle’ life is with this man, I was scared Sofia but I realised when Kyle came home, he would be tired, so drained and just wanted normality. So I gave him that, our men are in danger and it’s hard for them. So I didn’t want to be the one to cry and be like don’t go, you know?” Nodding my head understanding “probably stressing Cassius out I guess?” I cringed at myself “from what I see of Cassius yes Sofia, he will be upset but it’s all good. It’s good news right, Isabella is alive?” Frowning at her “what!?” I spat “oh you don’t know, she is alive. Kyle told me, he said Sofia shouldn’t worry, it’s intense. Isabella is alive, he didn’t give a reason why but she is still alive and I am so happy. I never wanted to say that to them but she is” that is such good news “god” Placing my hand over my heart “I’m glad she is” I said in a whisper “I’m going to call her phone” Amira said getting her phone out.

I feel like I have calmed down and accepted the situation but it still hurts. I’m just going to be here for my son but a piece of my heart is not with me and that hurts, a lot “hello” oh wow, Isabella is alive “girl” Amira said “girl” Isabella said back to her “I could cry right now hearing you” Isabella said on the phone “I’m tearing up right now, like. I am shook, I’m so happy to know you’re ok but what the fuck happened and why?” Isabella is alive and I’m happy to hear that “long story, like we need to meet up. Once my face swelling goes down” she got hit “Cassius didn’t did he?” I piped up “no” she said lowly but seemed to be taken a back I’m here “we are in Utah, some guys came to the house and tried to attack the baby” my eyebrows furrowed “I thought it was all of us?” Amira paused “just, I will explain but let me just finish on this. How come they kept you alive? I don’t mean it in a bad way but why?” I know I cry too much but they wanted my baby, the baby that nearly killed me, the baby I was longing to have, the peice of Cassius I have “Cassius just said remember this, I overheard the guys say why he didn’t but it was him that kept me here and I don’t know why he spared me, he just did” a small smile played on my lips, that is my man I fell in love with, his heart is there still.

Amira soon got off the phone finally, I am still in shock to hear that my baby was in the firing line “I am sorry, so much happened that I didn’t get to say it to you. So I heard the noises upstairs thinking it was you dropping something, but then I felt it was something wrong so I went and picked Cartier so I can make sure he is ok, he was still asleep bless his heart and the guy walked in, he was just staring at Cartier and I held him even closer, the guy slowly walked to me but he wanted the baby and I was in my mind thinking what the fuck do I do but then I see Cassius behind him, so I tried to remain calm and then Cassius took him out, as smooth as he was” looking down at my hands trying to not cry “when I heard the commotion the only thing I wanted was my son, he is my everything right now and to know harm was coming to him, Cassius was there but my baby. Someone is really wanting Cassius gone and any trace of him, well Myles does” looking up at Amira “if Cassius and then Cartier was gone, I would kill myself” I said the honest truth “Sofia!” Amira spat and hugged me “why would I want to stay here Amira? With nobody here, I just want things back to normal and I’m not crying about it, I would kill myself” Amira moved back from the hug to look at me “you really mean it too?” Nodding my head knowing full well I would, there would be nothing for me here.

My phone started to ring as I was preparing Cartier bottle, he is really keeping me sane right now. Mia is calling me, not Cassius as I wanted. Answering the call “hello!” I half shouted as I pressed speakerphone “damn! My ears, how is my favourite?” Mia said, I smiled at her calling me that “I am ok, alive I guess” I sound so negative but I feel deflated a little “so you’re ok then, I was just calling to ask. What the fuck is happening with your man?” Pulling a face at her saying that “erm why?” I questioned “well in the early hours people were being dragged out, I know it was his people because I have seen them openly say they work for him, but they was being made to leave” Amira walked over with Cartier, I just looked at Amira somewhat confused “erm, not sure” I mumbled “just wanted to know, it’s weird. There is nobody barely here anymore” that is weird for Cassius to be doing that “erm, he is probably moving them” wishful thinking “you hope, they was crying. But anyways, how is nephew? I know he has gone chubbier” I wouldn’t tell my friend the shit that has happened, it is too much to say that.

“Cartier!” I spat, this child loves to kick while I change his diaper “stop it” he just smiles at me like he has done good “stop being a nightmare to me” placing the tab on the diaper finally “there you go, you love kicking don’t you” picking the diaper bag from the bed, my baby is three months already, like where has time gone already. He is just growing so quickly right in front of my face too, he is very active and loves moving side to side now “I am here” I said, he is looking everywhere. Placing the bag in the trash can, Cartier started whining “why are you are whining for baby, I am here” walking over to the bed, his whining soon stopped as he saw my face and smiled “you’re my greatest gift, honestly. My little man” picking him up “let’s go and see Amira, see if she hasn’t fallen asleep” Cartier’ is so very nosey, he is naturally moving his head around now “leave you with just your diaper on, I know you like that fat baby” I know he enjoys the freedom.

I paused watching Cassius eyes slowly close, he is falling asleep and I didn’t think I would get so excited about this but I am. He hasn’t slept, well doesn’t sleep and refuses to do so, I seem like a proud dad that he has. I must have made him so bored, boredom got to him but I take that. I mean his ass will probably wake up soon just because it’s just in his office and they walking in and out but I will take that, I want to sleep too but I will take it and remain awake. Looking down at the text from Amira, she is bugging with this facetime thing “you just going to stand there?” looking over Cassius bodyguard, I call them that because they don’t leave “he is asleep nigga, move!” I spat “I don’t answer to you” they talk “if I wake him, he will tell you that you do. You better watch your damn mouth and leave” I know he don’t like me but I don’t like him either, he just glared at me as he walked out “was it that hard?” acting like that shit was hard for him, I’ll drop kick his ass. While Cassius is asleep and nobody is here I can facetime her, that is perfect. Tapping on on the facetime icon, she been doing nothing but say facetime, like I want to see her big ass head “you are so grumpy over text” turning the volume down “grumpy? You do nothing but say facetime, you should be appreciative I even text you, all I am going to see is forehead constantly, like that shit is not cute” Amira mean mugged me “sorry cupcake, so we seeing some titties tonight?” Amira moved the camera to the side, my mouth fell open “oh my, I mean hey Sofia. I didn’t say that” Amira is setting me up today.

I should have trusted my gut, these two are playing “Kyle, tell us at least what he is doing at the apartment complex? Mia told me, she said there are people crying” blowing out air “blah, blah, blah. I was being nice but this a trap” they trapped me “let me see Cassius, where is he?” looking up at Cassius sleeping in the chair “he is sleeping” which is the truth “oh please, let me see him. You won’t let tell me anything so come on” Amira and Sofia both annoying “fine” I sighed out, flipping the camera over “is that him? He looks uncomfortable, Kyle lay him down. Oh my, look at him. It’s been a while, he will hurt his neck” turning the camera back to me “should be glad he is getting that, he wouldn’t be happy about me facetiming, y’all need to appreciate me more. It’s not fair” I feel used “I love you for this Kyle, thank you” Sofia said “and I love you bean head, don’t worry. We are just keeping you company of course” it can be boring here “I know” I jumped at the door opening up abruptly “woah, woah, woah! Who is this?” I spat, this middle aged woman storming in “I want my husband!” she spat “why is she here?” I don’t get it “no!” I spat “don’t do that” watching them set their guns at her “the fuck is this” Cassius is awake now “you took him” she said to Cassius “fuck” remembering they are on facetime, looking down at my phone and disconnecting it “Samuel?” Cassius said groggily, he is tired “yes, I want him back!” watching Cassius, he looked at one of them guards and nodded his head, I furrowed my eyebrows and then flinched at the gunshot “woah!” I spat “take her ass to her husband, lay her in front of him” I did wish he was asleep still “was it needed?” Cassius looked over at me “you still being sensitive? I don’t care Kyle, get me Ethan” I get he doesn’t.

I see how much people are scared, I find it funny but then again it’s not because people are scared for their lives “he wants you sir Ethan” he went and did his thing and never came back in the office “I thought he was resting?” I had to laugh “he was just resting his eyes but he wants you, did you find anything. Where did the product go?” I hope he has “to the airport, someone is actually flying them out but that was Myles. That means he has a team, if the product is still flying out he has a team. So yeah that is it” Ethan did his homework “ok, just tell him that. I mean Cassius just got Samuel’ wife shot dead but no need to worry” Ethan just smiled at me “he is real angry ain’t he?” nodding my head “oh he is, I think I am close to annoying his life and for him to send me on my way, but he is doing what he wants, just relax and tell him what he needs. Cassius is a machine, trust me I know. But tell me, who the fuck are these niggas. Like why are they built like robots and are always ready to kill?” I am sure Ethan will know “oh they are actually Raphael people, but passed over to cassius. All four of them, so he is Fabien, Laurence, Jasper and Louis” he pointed them out “they French?” they sound it “yes they are” letting out an oh “they are weird, and crazy” walking into the office “mind the floor” Cassius said, least he is got someone to clean it.

I realised something, Cassius has really made me do nothing, I don’t know if this was his plan but he’s not made me do anything besides keep him company “so you didn’t bother to go further and come back? What am I? Your father that I have to feed you shit? You came back for what? You fucking go Miami and you fucking deal with it, you take people and go, you think I don’t fucking know what is going on in this place!? You think I don’t? Walking around this warehouse on my money, you fucking earn and you get my money back in Miami! I don’t need you, you know that?” licking my top lip just watching Ethan, he is sweating. Catching Cassius looking over at them robotic niggas, I forget their names “hey!” I got up from the chair “I think you are just being sensitive, like you call me that but you are. He did right by coming back and informing you, he saw you was asleep and waited. I think you need to just let it cool off. Ethan you go and rest up, we will call when needed. It’s no harm or problem aight?” Ethan looked at him, he is scared “we good yeah, go home” he nodded his head “I think we all getting sensitive right now” Cassius ain’t liking it but he can deal.

Walking with Cassius to the room where Samuel is “Ethan is scared of you, and I see your little movement now. Don’t be eyeing up them niggas on people like Ethan, he has been loyal to us” Cassius has been quiet with me “I don’t want you to undermine me Kyle” looking over at him “undermine you? I don’t care who you kill but when I say it’s wrong, it’s wrong nigga. We together on this aight? You remember that Cassius. I am here with you, not hiding away but when I say shit is wrong, it’s wrong. Ethan is scared to come to you because you are getting rid of anyone and everyone, which is fine. And for the love of god, can you tell these robotic niggas that they listen to me too? And stop being up our asses?” they driving me crazy “they will continue to be up our asses until I say so, Fabien. This is Kyle, my business partner, you and your people can report to him too” opening the door to the room “don’t they speak?” they never reply “no, they trained like that. What a meet Samuel, we find your wife?” Cassius barged into the room, Samuel cried out. That must hurt “it was really me or you, I mean that could have been your daughter looking at me dead but I ain’t dumb, but your wife. She pretty, so shall we talk?” standing at the side of Cassius “if you don’t want to speak then for every minute you waste of my time, your fingers will be gone. Get me a chair” I have seen worse, that is all I keep saying to myself.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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deanssexplorations · 8 years ago

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It's a Small World (of Casual Sex) After All

I haven’t blogged much about it yet, but one of my favorite things to do is attend sex clubs and parties. Groups are sort of my fetish and while I love one-on-one sex, there’s a different energy with a group that I find incredibly fun. Beside, it’s a huge taboo to watch other people have sex - and to have sex with other people watching - so that cranks up the fun factor even more as far as I’m concerned.

I have lost exact count of the number of times I’ve been to a sex club or party, but my closest approximation is 20 times or so. And every time I go, in the back of my head I wonder whether I’m going to run into a friend, or a colleague, or an ex girlfriend. Not that the idea of seeing someone I know bothers me tremendously. I figure there’s sort of a “mutual assured destruction" aspect to such an encounter. I won’t tell anyone in your world if you don’t tell anyone in mine. But time and time again I would attend an event, and never did come across anyone I recognized.

Until that one night at Club Kiss.

Club Kiss is a “heteronormative” sex club that meets a few times a year in the San Francisco Bay Area. By heteronormative I mean it’s mostly fairly mainstream heterosexual couples, swingers really, getting their freak on. My peeps. This particular event was one of the larger ones of the year, and was thrown at Danzhaus, a dance school by day that rents itself out to other activities at night.

I went with my friend Pam, who is absolutely amazing - and alas, now with boyfriend, but at the time was one of my favorite casual sex regulars. We started with a drink at a nearby bar, at which I told her what I considered to be a funny small world story - which I shall be blogging at some point down the line - about a woman named Regina who was one of my daughter’s friend’s mothers and who recognizing me as being part of the casual sex scene at a back to school event. Pam and I got a chuckle out of that. I had no idea that particular small-world story was about to be one-upped three-fold that very evening.

Finishing our drink, Pam and I went to Danzhaus, where people were mostly dancing and milling about at the bar; the sex part of the party had yet to get going. We migrated to the bar and got a drink, and I turned around only to see Regina - the mother of my daughter’s friend - in the flesh, there with her husband.

Regina saw me as well, and from her body language it was clear she wanted to keep as far as possible, or more likely, wanted to keep her husband as far from me as possible. I already knew they weren’t out to friends or family and it seems she hadn’t told him about this other middle school father in the casual sex scene.

But I was in the mood to cause trouble, so I walked right up to her, Pam in tow, and said “Hello, Regina, nice to see you here." Her husband looked at me, puzzled, and she had no choice but to introduce us. And of course I introduced Pam to them. We made small talk for a minute or two, after which Regina pointedly ushered the two of them away, not to be seen the rest of the evening. I later learned that she had to do some fancy explaining, but I’m pleased to say their marriage is fully intact. Meanwhile Pam and I were marveling at the coincidence of running into this woman who I was talking about not 20 minutes earlier, and the mother of my daughter’s friend no less.

What a small world, we thought.

All coincidences now safely behind us, we went upstairs to the dance floor, which had been turned into a giant play area adorned with wall-to-wall mattresses and sheets. Pam had to use the restroom, so I took up the standard date’s position just outside the ladies’ room door to wait dutifully for her.

As I stood, my gaze wandered to the couple on a couch directly across from me, and I was startled to recognize the client for a project I was working on - at that very point in time. Her gaze caught mine and she instantly jerked it away. It was clear that she recognized me - we had been seated across a conference room table a mere days before - and that she did not want her fiancé, whom she was there with, to know that a business colleague was standing a few feet away.

This time I respected her wishes, so I stood there, she awkwardly avoiding my gaze, I wearing a slight knowing smile, for a good three or four minutes before Pam emerged from the bathroom. Once the two of us were safely out of range I pointed out my colleague and told her the story.

Wow, we were thinking. Dean had run into not one but two people he knew at the club. My unblemished record of avoiding folks I knew was shattered. What an incredibly small world.

(And as a post-script to that part of the story, the next time I saw my client at a project read-out, we greeted each other breezily and matter-of-factly, as if nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened. It seems mutual assured destruction works after all…)

Had I been writing this story even a month ago, that would have been the punch line. But events of the past couple of weeks not only extended the story, but also bumped it up the queue just a tad, since there's now a present-day component to it.

So here’s what happened next.

Pam and I finally made our way to the play space and started having fun. Pam is smart, interesting, and engaging, with a radiant smile. She has gorgeous blonde hair and an amazing body with ample hips and tits. In other words, she’s built like a woman, and she knew how to get my motor running.

Pam and I staked out a spot and began playing. We were one of the earlier couples to start, so it was fairly sparse at first, but eventually the space - a good 60 feet by 60 feet or thereabouts - was more or less packed wall-to-wall with people having sex.

I played with Pam for a good hour or so, and then, bless her heart, she couldn’t keep her eyes open and fell asleep. (Yes, in the middle of thirty or forty couples having sex!) She had had a long week and a long day, and a couple of drinks didn’t help. I knew she needed the rest, so I made her as comfortable as I could and just took in the scene, her head nestled in my lap.

To my right was an attractive age appropriate couple (most of my FWBs are age appropriate) who was playing with a 29-year old woman there on her own. Since Pam was down for the count, I thought those three’s male/female balance could use a little adjustment and decided to see if they wanted to play.

I moved over and lightly touched the hip of the age-appropriate wife (whose name turned out to be Sofia). She put her hand on mine and pulled it further up her body, which I chose to interpret as "yes, let’s play.” I began to kiss her, she returned the kiss, and the two of us peeled off to form a dyad, her husband happily enmeshed with the 29-year old.

Sofia and I had great chemistry from the get-go. She was beautiful and intelligent, and had an incredible body. She was wearing a bustier and body stocking, which she said she didn’t want to remove because it was too much of a hassle, and which was laying on the floor 10 minutes later. She went down on me, I went down on her, but the best part was just this amazing simultaneous kissing and fucking. And conversation. While my cock was in her pussy. In fact, we introduced ourselves - exchanged names - while I was fucking her. Something I’ve done a handful of times and certainly one of my favorite ways to meet a woman.

Eventually we wound down, she reconnected with her husband, and Pam awakened (but not before I had my turn with the 29-year old). I logged that evening into the “pleasant memory” bank, and assumed I would never see Sofia again. After all, that’s pretty much the MO for sex clubs - especially when your encounter is with a married woman there with her husband. Pam and I packed up, went home, and got some sleep.

Fast forward several years to the erotic art show a few weeks ago - which I recently blogged about in the Vibrator Torture story. Attentive readers will recall that while Ruby was talking to the guy who watched the vibrator fall out of her pussy, I flirted and got contact info from a couple of other women, one of whom was married and with whom I subsequently set a lunch date.

Around the holidays she and I were texting in preparation for the date. I asked how long she and her husband had had an open marriage. She told me they started out by going to play parties a few years back. Then she said, “Hey, this may sound weird but I think I may have met you once at Danzhaus? Is that possible?”

Yes. My lunch date this week was with Sofia. It was amazing and we took up right where we left off. (Don’t ask why we didn’t do the 2+2 thing at the erotic art show. Better lighting? Only saw each other’s faces?)

That’s the sort of small world story I can get behind.

#small world sex #sex club #sex on the dance floor #date fell asleep #Pam #Sofia

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