#[under my breath] i will NOT write another amnesia fic i will not write another amnesia fic i will not-

[chronicowboy]

you know what buck getting hit by lightning, falling like 40 ft to the ground and going through a coma isn't enough actually. give that man amnesia, make him forget the love of his life and his son, commit to the mfing bit!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

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1. Hi! I hope you can help me find this fic.

Wangxian is married here. Lan zhan was cursed to forget his love to wei ying and wei ying did everything (like studying the curse) to lift it out. I remember in the end, Lwj remember his love to wei ying and apologized to wwx for treating him bad. He felt guilty and resentful to himself but wwx assured him that its fine since he was cursed

NOT FOUND! stuck under the moon by perilously (E, 13k, WangXian, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cursed LWJ, Non-Penetrative Sex, Post-Canon)

FOUND! could be "an effect (without a cause)" by astrobandit, which is deleted from ao3. If this is the fic they are looking for, i have a copy.

NOT FOUND! Blue water by huxiyi (E, 24k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Temporary Amnesia, Case Fic, Curses, Cultivation Sect Politics, Established Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, References to Depression, Discussion of Grief, Discussion of bodies, Explicit Sexual Content, Dom/sub Undertones, Under-negotiated Kink, Additional Warnings In Author's Note)

NOT FOUND! Unavoidable by diamondbruise (T, 18k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Amnesia, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Falling In Love, Again, Happy Ending)

NOT FOUND! tonight i can write the saddest lines by sarahyyy (G, 3k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Amnesia, Falling In Love, Domestic Fluff)

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2. Can anyone help me find a fic where part of it talks about how if he'd asked, JY would have done WWX's hair for him like she did JC's, but he never asked so he learnt on his own (possibly to avoid YZY's rage?)

FOUND? Always walked a very thin line by tucuxi (T, 22k, NHS & WWX, JYL & WWX, WangXian) It's a small bit that happens when NHS is brushing WWX's hair, and WWX thinks that nobody's done that for a long time

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3. Hello!! I'm looking for a jiang wanyin/lan xichen centric fic where jc is stuck in a time loop??

He repeats his lives 5-6 times and lan xichen remembers all the timelines where he actually already loved jc

But he married meng yao as a friendship marriage in one tl

In another tl jc murdered meng yao and lxc witnesses amd goes into seclusion because of it

combining the lxc/jc + the time loop tags yields only three fics so it should be easy to find the right one (i haven't read any of them so i wasn't sure), and looking for lxc/jc + searching the word 'groundhog' turns up one more fic but it doesn't seem relevant to the ask

NOT FOUND! Incrementally by xxdz (M, 15k, WIP, XiCheng, Time Loop, Horror, Murder Mystery, Inspired by Happy Death Day (Movies), Post-Canon, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Character Death, Character Study)

NOT FOUND! there is no one beside me by h0ngcha (Not Rated, 16k, WIP, XiCheng, Time Loop, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Suicide, Mental Instability, Depression, Mild Gore, Canon Divergence, Suicidal Thoughts, JFM's A+ parenting, Bittersweet Ending)

NOT FOUND! silver bell by willowcatkin (G, 8k, XiCheng, Post-Canon, Time Loop, yunmeng bros reconciliation, Sort Of, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC-centric)

FOUND! Four Out of Five by castieldeansangel (T, 9k, XiCheng, WangXian, XiYao, One-sided ChengQing, Time Travel, 5 Times, Fix-It of Sorts, XiCheng endgame, Angst with a Happy Ending, JC-centric, Butterfly Effect, Dubious Morality, Canon Divergence)

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4. you guys are wonderful! thank you so much for all your help finding fics!!! i have a half itmf/half fic finder question --- any angsty dark lan clan fics that focus on wei ying, but especially one where they break his soul bond(?) with Lan Zhan --- i think i remember one where later on they need WY's help - any suggestions greatly appreciated! (also in an Itmf)

FOUND? Say my name and his in the same breath by ataratah (M, 38k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Rejection, Mutual Pining, Found Family Feels, Temporary Character Death, magical baby aquisition, Angst with a Happy Ending, No Golden Core Transfer, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies)

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5. hello! theres this fic i know i read on ao3 but cant seem to find in my history or bookmarks. i hope it wasnt deleted. its post canon, lan zhan and wei ying go out on a mission but lan zhan gets infected or hit with a curse without them noticing, and starts gradually losing all his senses, starting with hearing, then i think sight, then so on until he cant move or do anything at all and he’s at risk of death. wei ying and lan xichen figure out together how it happened and they save him so lan zhan is completely healed by the end. i believe it was either M or E rated bc there were a couple sex scenes early on but i dont think they were very explicit. i hope you can find this fic, thank you so much!!

FOUND! shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (E, 24k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Night hunts, Curses, Intimacy, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, They're married and they're in love)

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6. Hi! I read this incredible fic a while back and forgot to bookmark it - it's about WWX losing his memories when he comes back and getting to know LWJ as Mo Xuanyu while he tries to uncover his past?

FOUND? Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

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7. Hi! Can you help me find these 2 fics? I tried filtering out but can’t still find it.

A) Modern Au. Wwx left the jiang family and then met Lwj. I remember the two started living together but then as the time passed by, wwx notices that lwj isolating him to outside world. I also remember wwx broke up with lwj but lwj is stubborn keep coming to wwx school. He even threaten wwx about the jiang family so he’ll come back to him.

B) Modern au too I think? I only remember Lwj saw wwx burying a dead body (i think it was wen chao) and assist him on it.

Thank you so much!

7A)

FOUND! It had to be Fate by darkbrokenreaper (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, Rape/Non-con Elements, Obsession, Possessive Behavior, dark!LWJ)

7B)

NOT FOUND! release me from the present by merlinnn (E, 34k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Explicit Sexual Content, Dark Academia, Also Light Academia, Studying,Lots of it, Implied/Referenced Sexual AssaultV, iolence, Murder, Dead Poets Society, brief homophobic language, body disposal, Mildly Dubious Consent)

FOUND? 🔒 The inherent romanticism of hiding a body together by Aki_no_hikari (T, 4k, WangXian, First Meetings, Love at First Sight, Modern, Corpse Desecration, Corpse Disposal, Pigs, dark Wangxian)

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8. Hello! The fic I am looking for is one where Jiang Cheng somehow erases Wei Wuxian from existence. Jiang Yanli lives as a consequence, but now everyone is subjugated by the Wen, as without WWX the Sunshot Campaign lost. I have only seen this fic in passing and really want to read it but now I can't find it lol. I remember that there was a tag for "Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji / Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian", so I assume at some point they get him back, but I cannot remember any more details other than this. Thank you so much for your help and I hope you have a wonderful day!!! @coffeeshopdragons

FOUND! The Way It Wasn't by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

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9. hi ! me again 😅 i was wondering if any of you know the fic where lan wangji forgets about his love for wei wuxian (i think he got cursed?) and is very indifferent towards him. It starts with him forgetting to buy chili oil for wy to him not wanting to spend time together anymore. At one point he asks wwx “why did i marry you?”. I think lwj was conscious the entire time he was cursed and was heartbroken bc he could see how everything he said and did was hurting wy. I knew i read it recently but i cant find it in my history for some reason. thanks so much you guys are amazing <33 @makkachiin

FOUND! Does anyone even read work titles? idk what to call this by Nighttdust (M, 14k, WangXian, Curses, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, though not to much, Both get hurt both get comforted, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Happy Ending, Protective WWX, Insecurity, a bit only)

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10. Hello! Currently looking for a fic in which LWJ and WWX spent a night together in a tent and there was misunderstanding when LWJ woke up thinking he forced WWX to have papapa-

JC ends up threatening LWJ if WWX ends up preggo then he will not be allowed to see them (I think Wuxian was a carrier??), because JYL then entered the tent right after LWJ left and saw WWX all bruised up (it was hickies) whilst passed out (sleeping only) and assumed LWJ SA her Xianxian. JGY and LXC are also there-

FOUND? The Teapot Plot by ToxicAngel13 (M, 51k, WangXian, Misunderstandings, protective Jiang siblings, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Pre-Burial Mounds, Potential for M-Preg, Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort)

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11. Hi, I'm looking for a fic where wei ying starts out in the modern world as a doctor who has fallen on hard times and can't practice as one anymore because of previous mistakes. He dies in a lab explosion and gets sent to the canon-time cultivation world, where everyone believes he's an evil megalomaniac. Lan zhan realizes that wei ying isn't evil and takes him back to cloud recesses, where wei ying learns cultivation - there is some smutty dual cultivation involved, then comes happy every after. @annie-booksforfood

FOUND? Transverse by Kytrin, Mslead (E, 192k, WangXian, ChengSang, ZhuiLing, ZhenYi, Dimension Travel, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Enemies to Lovers, Transmigration, Past Lives, Canon-Typical Death, Don't worry - he gets better)

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12. Hiya! I saw on this post for Medium Blues over on WangxianFicRecs that there's a short sequel to the fic, but I haven't been able to find it anywhere. I looooove the fic so much and would really like to read the sequel, so I'm wondering if anyone happens to have more info or a copy? Thank you! @gentil-minou (the author may have deleted the sequel because medium blues had been deleted before - Mod C)

Oooh I do remember that a medium blues sequel was begun but I think only a chapter or so was posted?

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13. Hey, can you please help me find a series?

It's about a-Yuan, and he could see ghosts/spirits. He could see WWX, he drew Madam Lan, and he spoke about YZY to JC when he was in Lotus Pier and called her violet spider. @utxqia

FOUND! 🧡 Lan Sizhui Sees Dead People Series by darkbrokenreaper (T, 30k, WIP, WangXian, LWJ & LSZ, JC & LSZ, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Kid Fic, Hurt/Comfort, lsz sees dead people, Paranormal)

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14. Hello, this for the “Find a Specific Fic” tag. I’ve been looking for fic staring a older Lan Wangji who gets sent back to the cloud recess ark, and meets his younger self who becomes jealous. The younger Lan Wangji is jealous because Wei Ying is no longer pestering him anymore, opting to instead follow the older Lan Wangji who spoils him. Hopefully this helps, and thank you for your hard work. Sincerely, Bianca. @biancabaryonx

FOUND? vinegar jug by dandelion_san (G, 7k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Humor, Awkward Crush, Jealousy)

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15. Hello, I'm trying to find a fic where both Mo Xuanyu and Wei Wuxian get cursed. All I can remember is that Lan Wangji ends up in the woods and WWX helps him getting out, but when he tries to thank him WWX disappears. LWJ then finds the Jiangs and inquires about him but they can't actually remember him: they only remember they had a brother once (I think?). Hope this makes enough sense and thanks in advance

NOT FOUND! Second Summer by Anonymous (M, 142k, WIP, WangXian, canon, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Mystery, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Curses, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, somebody lives/somebody else dies, Golden Core Reveal, canon-typical lack of lube)

FOUND? never been away so long by sundiscus (G, 905, WangXian, Modern AU, Pre-Relationship, First Meetings, Ambiguous/Open Ending, (but a happy ending in the endnotes!), Ghosts, crossposted from Twitter)

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16. needing y'all's help again i cant remember the fic where wwx agreed to transfer(??) or visit or help a school/workplace bc he gets to use a mass spectrometer. i can't remember the plot, just that tidbit T_T thank you so much

NOT FOUND! The Best Gift by Lan_Wangjoe (E, 45k, WangXian, Modern AU, Mistaken Identity,Miscommunication, Romantic Fluff, Family Fluff, Family Dynamics, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Nice LQR, Fake Science, Science Husbands, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Adopted Children, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Marriage, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Himbo LXC, Everyone Is Alive, Good Parents JFM and YZY, Genius WWX) it doesn’t have a spectrometer as such, but I think it might be this one?

FOUND! 🧡 CSI: Gusu Edition Series by Stratisphyre (M, 39k, WangXian, WWX & LQR, Modern with Magic AU, College AU, Golden Core Reveal, Single parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Hospitalization, Allusions to violence and murder) the first fic in csi gusu has the mass spectrometer :>

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17. I'm back, like any other wangxian addict, for more ficfinding expertise!

A) always a girl WY is emperor LXC's concubine, who he shares with LWJ. Of course the 2 are in love and when LXC starts to tire of her and politics get in the way, they stage a withdrawal/escape and live happily ever after far away from the emperor in the south?

B) CR study arc, where LQR gives WWX the same advanced tests he gives LWJ. After, NHS complains about how his cheatsheet tips didn't make sense and that's how WWX found out about the harder test. @mreisse

17A)

FOUND! Red Lotus Blooming at Sunset by janewritesstuff (Jane_de_Plaine) (E, 18k, WangXian, XiXian, Jadecest, Implied Others/LXC, Royalty, Historical, Female WWX, Concubine WWX, Harem, Threesome - F/M/M, Porn With Plot, Consensual Infidelity, Voyeurism, Angst with a Happy Ending, extended tags in author's note, Dark LXC)

17B)

FOUND! Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

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18. Hi hello, I'm struggling to find this wangxian ao3 I'm hoping that it was not deleted. I don't really remember much but wei ying didn't die but got save from falling of a the cliff and when he gain consciousness he can't remember his name that's why the one who saved him gave him another identity and his been living that identity for years. On wangji side, this is still part of the story he raises lan yuan by himself, actually no one died in this fic jiang yanli is still alive

FOUND? Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, resulting to OOC, no pinning, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, mainly CQL verse but has scenes from the novel as well, LSZ is WangXian's Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts) WWX awakens in chapter 16 and his new name is Gengxin.

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19. Hello! Good day! I hope you can help me find this fic. I don’t know if it is a time-travel fic or not. All I can remember is that Madam Yu got pregnant and the sect leader, jiang yanli, jiang cheng, and wwx were happy. But eventually they learned that madam yu cheated (i forgot if its a wen or not) so the baby is actually not sect leader jiang’s child. I think they learned this after the masscre of lotus pier when madam yu ranaway.

FOUND? 💖 A Chance by CorkaHadesa (M, 86k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Sunshot Campaign, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Canon Divergence, Established WangXian, Married WangXian, Secret Marriage, OOC, Second Chances, YLLZ WWX, Homophobic Language, but only from YZY so it's not that important because she's a bad person, i don't agree with her words, Minor Character Death, Happy Ending, Mpreg, Not Everyone Dies AU, the dead ones are the bad ones)

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20. Hi. I'm looking for a fic that I was pretty sure was luckmoonly's and was in the many lan babies series but now I am worried about my brain because it's not there and the traces of it are gone, to the point I think I hallucinated that fic. But if I remember the title was "The fault in my core" and WWX was supposed to get his core removed but they found a core baby near it so they didn't continue the operation. Pls tell me I was just looking at the wrong place with my f-ed up memory 🥹 and the fic is somwhere out there and I was just too stupid to find it. Thank u in advance! ❤️

FOUND! The fic was deleted. All your informations (name, author etc.) were correct. I have a copy, if you want one. - @bluekittenfire

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[xxsksxxx]

Movable Forces

Summary:

After a traumatic accident, Scully realizes that she can’t remember the events of the past few days. With Mulder’s help, she tries to piece together the fragments of her memory.

But something is not as it seems – and Mulder might have a secret.

Notes:

This is my little contribution to #tropetember – a yearly event that celebrates all the tropes that we love to read again and again.

I’ve chosen the amnesia trope and hope you’ll have as much fun reading this short fic as I had writing it.

Thank you so much for reading. And if you want to comment, please feel free. You'd make my year – just be kind.

AO3 | @today-in-fic

Chapter 1: Hits and Misses

The sunlight was unforgiving, its bright beams piercing her eyes like needles into her brain. She groaned and turned her head to the side to avoid the light. And that brought a new kind of torment. What had been sharp and piercing had now turned into a dull ache all over her body. Panic started to make her heart pound, and she gasped for air. Something was pressing onto her rib cage and pinning her down. And it was heavy—she could barely breathe.

She cautiously drew in some air, careful to not aggravate the stabbing pain in her side.

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Don’t panic, her inner voice told her. Is anything broken? What are your symptoms?

She meticulously took stock of her body. Everything ached. She carefully moved first her feet and legs and then her hands. Thankfully, that only caused some minor discomfort. Probably only some cuts, nothing seems broken, she thought.

But that insistent, constant stabbing on her right side couldn’t be ignored. Something was piercing her rips and holding her down. She felt around and touched warm, unmoving metal.

She took another steadying breath and carefully opened her eyes. Slowly, the world around her came into focus.

Metal. Plastic. Pieces of torn fabric stuck to a dark oily liquid next to her. Car accident, she thought. She slowly turned her head to her side and groaned. Some part of the dashboard had bent in half and was pinning her to her seat. Unmovable. A sharp piece of plastic stood out like a spear and was poking into her ribs now every time she took a breath.

She blinked and felt something running down her face and into her right eye. She quickly closed her eyes again. Blood. That explains the headache, she thought. Not good. Definitely not good at all. She needed to get out of here.

Carefully, she tried to turn her head towards what once had been the driver’s side window and tried to focus. The regret hit her immediately, and she nearly threw up from the pain.

Her head was bad. She couldn’t move it more than a few inches without feeling like someone was squeezing her brain out of her ears. Possible skull fracture, her inner voice supplied helpfully. Undoubtedly at least a concussion.

Suddenly, she registered the surrounding noises. People were shouting, somebody was screaming for someone named Joe to get there fast. “Hello? I need help!” she shouted, but it came out more like a whimper, and the effort made her dizzy.

“Ma’am? Ma’am, can you hear me?” She sighed in relief. Someone was here.

"Hello? Ma'am?" A voice called right next to her, and she winced at the stab of pain it caused. She groaned and tried to nod. “Mmm… yeah. C’n hear you. Need assistance. Possible skull and rib fracture.”

“Don’t move. Help is on the way. You were in a car accident. Just try to stay calm,” the voice continued, but she was already drifting in and out of consciousness again. She tried to focus on the surrounding sounds, but it was a losing battle.

“We’re going to get you out of here. Don’t worry, ma’am,” a new voice said determinedly. “Can you tell me what happened?”

She opened her mouth to answer. And closed it again. She had no idea. What had happened? She questioned herself frantically before the darkness pulled her under again, and she lost consciousness.

Scully was swimming. But she wasn’t moving. She was submerged in an inky black darkness, and every move pulled her further down. The syrupy, sluggish water surrounded her like tar. She tried to swim to the surface, but the dark ocean fought her every move, and she felt the strength drain out of her.

Just when she decided to allow herself to drift back down to wherever she’d been, a familiar voice called her name. It was like a shot of pure energy, and she refocused her efforts.

“Scully! Scully, can you hear me?”

Mulder. That was Mulder. What was he doing here? Was he in the ocean as well?

She strained to turn in the direction of his voice, but her arms and legs felt like lead. It took forever to just move her head.

“Slow, Scully. Careful,” Mulder whispered right next to her ear, and then she felt her hand in his.

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she looked right into his concerned face.

“Where am I? What time is it?“ she croaked, her voice rough from not having been used in a while.

“You were in a car accident,“ Mulder explained, his grip on her hand tightening. “A man in his car ran a red light and slammed right into the side of your car. How are you feeling?”

Scully assessed her body methodically. First, she slowly moved her fingers, her toes, and legs and finally her arms. Her side was still throbbing, but it was a dull pain now. Nothing like she’d felt while still trapped in her car. Probably the pain medication, her mind supplied. That explained why Mulder looked a bit blurry around the edges.

“Like a car hit me,” she quipped, a smirk forming on her lips. Mulder gave her the relieved smile she’d been aiming for.

“The doctor said you were very lucky. Nothing’s broken, and you’ve only got a few scrapes and bruises. You got a nasty cut on your right side, but what had us worried was you being unconscious for so long,” he said and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

For so long? “What do you mean? How long was I unconscious? What day is it?” Scully’s brow furrowed, and she immediately winced when the pain in her head increased again.

“It’s Wednesday afternoon. You’ve been in the hospital since early Monday morning.” He gave her a concerned look. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Scully tried to concentrate but all her thoughts seemed to drift in various directions and suddenly the sluggish darkness seemed to reach for her again. She tried to focus.

“Let’s see. I remember us walking to the parking garage together on Friday evening.“ She paused for a moment. Mulder gave her an encouraging smile.

“You mentioned something about basketball? A pick-up game you wanted to play on the weekend?” she continued and Mulder nodded.

When she didn‘t say more, Mulder frowned. “Okay. All of that happened. Do you remember anything else?”

She tried to concentrate, and make sense of the quick memory flashes behind her eyelids. Every thought hurt.

She let out a frustrated sigh. “No. Not really. Some flashes of things. The staircase. Dropping my car keys, just unconnected moments,” she paused again. “Rain… did it rain over the weekend?”

Mulder‘s frown deepened, but he nodded. “Yes, there was some rain on Sunday,“ he answered, his face an inscrutable mask.

“I… I think I remember picking you up after your game,” Scully added thoughtfully, her brow furrowed in concentration. “You were drenched and mentioned something about… wanting to show me something?” She threw a questioning look at Mulder, and he gave her an encouraging smile. “After that… nothing. The next thing I remember is gaining consciousness in the car. Sorry,” she added, frustrated.

Mulder kept studying her face, his gaze darting between her eyes and her mouth. She could tell he was waiting for something. She wanted to tell him she remembered what he wanted her to say, but there was nothing except a black void.

Her head was pounding steadily now again, and her eyes scratched like there was sand in them. She warily closed her eyes.

That seemed to snap Mulder out of his trance, and he turned to the little side table. He picked up a carafe and filled a glass with water. “You should try to get some fluids into you, Scully.”

He moved the glass closer and gently placed the straw on her lips. Scully drank gratefully and immediately felt some of her awareness return. Even the dull throbbing seemed to retreat a bit again.

“Thanks. So, what was it that I should remember? Did we get a new case?”

Mulder avoided her gaze, his unease barely concealed. “No, nothing important. Don't worry about it. I’m sure it’ll all come back to you in time.”

Scully watched him closely, her suspicion growing. She knew Mulder well enough to recognize when he was hiding something—especially from her.

“Are you sure, Mulder?” she probed, her eyes fixed on his face.

Mulder gave her a big smile and nodded. She internally rolled her eyes. He was a horrible liar. At least when he was lying to her. These days, she could tell immediately when he planned any nightly trespassing activities he tried to keep from her. The days of secretly ditching her were long past.

Mulder forced another smile. “Absolutely sure. Now I need to get back to the office. Skinner cut me some slack when I skipped the quarterly department meeting to sit with you. But now that you’re awake and feeling better, I’m going to check into the office for a few hours.”

He got up, leaning in as if to kiss her cheek but hesitated midway through and straightened up again.

“Um… let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m willing to pick out new underwear for you any time.“ He waggled his eyebrows and Scully rolled her eyes for real this time.

Mulder spotted a proud grin, pleased with himself. “Well, I got to go, Scully. You listen to all the doctors and do what they say, okay?“ He squeezed her hand one final time before letting go.

“I’ll be fine, Mulder. Don’t worry. I’ll talk to the doctor, and I’m sure I’ll be okay.“

With the smile lingering on his face and still avoiding her gaze, Mulder casually waved before exiting the room without a backward glance.

Scully continued to look at the closed door long after Mulder’s departure, her thoughts racing. Why was he acting so strange? All her instincts were screaming that something wasn‘t right but she couldn‘t quite put her finger on it.

I’m going to find out what is going on, she thought before finally succumbing to a deep restless sleep, plagued by visions of cars crashing and chasing Mulder through rainy dark streets.

*****

It had felt like an eternity of testing, prodding and confirming that there weren’t any lasting effects until the doctors finally agreed that she could go home. Not one moment too soon, Scully thought. She could’ve told them that she was fine after the first full day uselessly lying around in her hospital bed. She was a medical doctor, after all, and had studied her patient record thoroughly.

But now, finally, she was going to get out of there, and she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed as soon as the doctors had left the room.

She was mentally calculating how long it would take for Mulder to arrive. He’d promised to pick her up and take her home, and she was going to use that opportunity to find out what he had been keeping from her!

They’d been talking on the phone every night for the last two days. Bit by bit, her memories had started to come back, thanks to him helping her to distinguish between real memories and her vivid dreams from the pain medication.

She’d slowly worked her way closer to what he’d tried to keep from her. And the investigator in her had come out full force, strategizing and questioning to draw the answers out of him.

He’d confirmed that she’d picked him up after his basketball game on Sunday. She had a vivid memory of him towel-drying his hair in her car while telling her about a mysterious light that had been mentioned in a regional newspaper in southern Wyoming.

She smiled fondly at the memory, slowly putting on her shoes. Mulder was just too charming for his own good and even though she’d never tell him that, she loved listening to him passionately trying to convince her that his outrageous claims were true.

Her smile fell, thinking about the rest of the conversation. If only she were able to consider his cagey behavior when it came to sharing information just as charming.

From what she could piece together, she’d looked at a newspaper clipping at his place while he had taken a shower. Mulder had confirmed that they’d discussed it, only to quickly shift the conversation away from her fragmented recollections.

Any attempts from her to get back to that night had been met with one-syllable answers and more topic changes. She’d finally given up on getting anything out of him.

But that was about to change, she thought, eyeing the door. Where was he anyway? Hopefully, he hadn‘t forgotten to pick her up, her brows furrowing for a whole different reason now. She stretched her right arm carefully, trying not to strain her still tender side. The woolen sweater and sweatpants she’d picked up in the hospital store downstairs, at least gave her some room to move in.

Just then, the door opened slowly, and a familiar head squeezed through the crack.

“Are you decent?” he asked.

Scully just slid off the bed and bent down to grab the small bag, filled with more hospital-bought essentials. She couldn’t wait to have her own things again.

“I’m out of here, decent or not,“ she said while Mulder tried to hide his smirk.

He moved closer and gently took her bag from her hand. She made a move as if to protest, but he didn‘t let go. “Come on, Scully. You’ve just spent a week in a hospital bed. Let me carry this for you at least,“ he told her with a hangdog expression and wide, sad eyes. Scully sighed. There was no winning with him like that, she thought. Not that she would admit that. Sometimes she wondered if he didn’t know anyway that this look always worked on her.

“Alright, Mulder. Thank you. Even though I’m perfectly capable of carrying this bag by myself.“

Mulder chose not to respond, and they slowly made their way out of the hospital and towards his car. Scully carefully got into the passenger’s side and hid a wince. Even if she wasn’t going to admit it, her neck and side were still hurting quite a bit. She looked to check if Mulder had caught her quick flash of pain, but he was busy at the back of the car.

He placed her bag in the trunk and made his way around the car, his long wool coat billowing around his legs.

She watched him for a moment, wondering again how she could start a conversation that would get him to tell her what he was hiding.

The door closed with a loud bang, and Mulder turned to her with a big grin. “Ready to go home?”

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,“ she answered while putting on her seatbelt.

Mulder was opening his mouth to make one of his quips, and she was already preparing her reply.

But he didn‘t say anything and just turned around and started the car instead. “Okay, here we go.”

Scully stared at his profile, her frustration growing. She was tired of being treated like a raw egg. She wanted her Mulder back, quirks and all. The one that tried to make her laugh even if she was fighting it all the way. She wanted to see his proud look when she couldn‘t hide her smiles any longer, happy he’d succeeded again.

But this Mulder was obnoxious for a whole different reason. She wasn‘t an invalid. And she didn‘t need to be safeguarded from whatever he was trying to protect her from.

With a scowl, she turned her head towards the window, watching the houses and streets pass them by.

The longer she stayed silent, the more sideways glances Mulder gave her.

“Are you okay, Scully?”

“I’m fine, Mulder,” she answered sharply.

Mulder gave her another searching look but remained quiet.

They continued driving in complete silence, and Scully was glad when he finally parked the car in front of her apartment.

She exited the car as quickly as possible, but not fast enough for Mulder, who’d already circled the car to offer assistance.

She had no intention of encouraging a hovering Mulder, though. She was a medical doctor and a few scrapes and headaches were to be expected and nothing unusual. She didn‘t need help walking into her own apartment.

“I’m fine, Mulder. I just need to get upstairs, take a shower and sleep for a few hours. I’ll be ready to get back to work on Monday.”

She walked to the trunk and grabbed her bag. Mulder watched her with an unreadable expression on his face.

As she passed him again on her way back, confidently striding towards the door, he followed her quietly.

Chapter 2: Collisions

“Mulder, stop hovering,” she snapped, her voice tinged with irritation. She was finally seated on her couch, glaring at Mulder. “I’ve told you I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

Mulder turned his head towards her while kneeling on the floor in front of her VHS player, a Blockbuster bag with several tapes propped up against his thigh. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re entertained, Scully. I’ll just pop in a movie, and you won’t have to move from the couch for at least two hours. How about Playing by Heart? I heard it’s a real chick flick,“ he waggled his eyebrows. “One of the characters even looks a bit like you,” he added, eyeing the cover. “See?” He held up the tape and pointed, grinning widely.

Scully sighed, her shoulders slumping in resignation. How could she stay angry when Mulder behaved like this? This was the Mulder she’d hoped to get back in the last few days in the hospital. Even if he annoyingly liked to keep things from her. She scowled.

“Oh, come on, Scully! Is it really that difficult for you to acknowledge you’re still recuperating? You were in a car accident! A pretty bad one! Your car’s a wreck at the junkyard,” he said, exasperated. “When I got that call about you being in the hospital, they told me it was pretty serious. I just don't think it's a good idea for you to overdo it. Maybe taking it easy would be wise.”

Scully looked down at her lap and started to play with a piece of lint, avoiding his eyes. He did have a point, even if she hated to admit it. “I really appreciate your concern and your help, Mulder,” she said softly, raising her head again and looking at him. He was watching her with a concerned look. “I just want to get back to normal as soon as possible,” she continued, her eyes pleading with him to understand. It was the wrong thing to say. Mulder wordlessly got off the floor and put the tape down on the coffee table in front of her.

“Ok. If that’s what you want,” he said without looking at her. “I’m going to get you some plates and glasses out of the cupboards, so you don’t have to move around too much, and then I’m out of your hair. Let you rest for a bit.”

He walked briskly into her kitchen and swiftly began to open the cupboards. Scully followed him with her eyes, her mind working frantically. What was that? She thought. Did I say something wrong? She tried to go over the conversation again, but nothing stood out.

She carefully hived herself off the couch, careful not to strain her side too much, and followed him into the kitchen. She gingerly sat down in one of her chairs, watching as he pulled out several things from her cupboards. Mulder pulled plates and cups out with great efficiency and put everything down on her counter. Scully felt like she could’ve cut the tension with a knife.

Bending down, Mulder set a saltshaker on the table, and their eyes met. His face was only inches away. Time seemed to freeze for a second before it hit Scully like a flash of lightning. Mulder’s face right in front of her. Mulder bending over towards her. His face only inches away.

The memories flooded her mind like a cascade of pictures, and she closed her eyes against the sudden headache.

Mulder bending over his living room table. Mulder smiling at her and laughing at something. Her trying not to laugh and failing. Mulder giving her a smug grin for having made her laugh. Her trying to grab the file that was lying between them on the table, and Mulder reaching for it at the same time. His face inches from hers and his breath tickling her lips.

She grabbed her head with both hands, cradling her face, her eyes tightly shut.

And then they’d been kissing. She’d grabbed his hair and pulled him closer. He’d moaned into her mouth and pushed her back into the couch. She’d felt her heart thundering in her ears.

As soon as the memories had come, they were gone again. Scully carefully opened her eyes and turned her head towards Mulder.

He’d moved around her chair when she’d grabbed her head and was now nervously grabbing her wrist. “Scully? Scully, are you okay?” he asked nervously.

Scully stared open-mouthed, the memories still vivid in her mind. Mulder’s gaze locked onto hers, and she could tell the moment he realized what had happened.

He immediately let go of her wrist and got up from his crouch next to her chair. With a last long look at her lips, he finally turned around and walked back to the counter.

“Is there anything else you need me to get you? I could go out and…” he rambled without looking at her.

“Mulder…” she began, uncertainty clouding her thoughts about what had happened and its implications. Her heart was pounding like a drum against her ribs.

Mulder kept banging doors open and closed. “Or do you want me to order you some food? We could watch one of the movies and eat pizza. Maybe skip on the beer, though.”

“Mulder!” she called loudly, and Mulder stopped with a resigned sigh and slowly turned around. His eyes locked on her with an intensity that made her shiver.

“You remember, don’t you?”

*****

Scully didn’t drop her eyes from his intense gaze. “Did that really happen, Mulder?” she asked softly, feeling vulnerable and afraid. “We kissed, didn’t we?”

Mulder nodded, his eyes roaming her face. “We did. Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked carefully, her voice tinged with a hint of hurt. “Did you want me to forget it happened?”

His eyes widened, and he shook his head almost violently. “NO! No, of course not. I just didn’t want to bring it up while you were still lying in a hospital bed after barely getting out of that accident!”

“I’m no longer in the hospital,” she said softly, her pulse quickening. She willed herself to not look away and started nervously gnawing on her lower lip. Mulder’s eyes darted immediately to her mouth, watching transfixed, before letting his gaze return to her eyes.

He scratched the back of his neck nervously and took a deep breath.“I know. Well, what did you expect me to say? ‘Hey Scully, by the way, there’s something else you might have forgotten. We shared some kisses the other night. And we ended up passionately making out on my couch until the sun came up. And we were considering continuing it later’? Don’t try to tell me that wouldn’t have prompted you to crawl out of that hospital bed, trying to get as far away from me as possible!” he nearly shouted, his voice tinged with frustration. He spread his arms helplessly.

Made out until the sun came up? Considering continuing it later? Scully repeated in her head, staring at him. Her mind helpfully filled in the images to his words, and she flushed. She gripped the armrest of her chair and started tracing nervous patterns with her thumb.

Mulder bending over her, pressing her into the arm of his couch. Him holding her face and gripping her hair.

She shook her head to not lose track of the conversation. She knew her face was flushed, and she was pretty sure her pupils were dilated. Mulder had to be able to notice, she panicked.

Mulder was watching her intently, his eyes not missing a thing. She felt like time had stopped once again as they were watching each other. Suddenly he closed his eyes tiredly and all the tension seemed to leave his body. He dropped his arms and leaned back against the counter.

“You were on your way home when you got in that accident, Scully,” he added softly, his eyes returning to hers.

“If we hadn’t kissed, maybe you wouldn’t have been distracted and would’ve seen that driver coming. Perhaps nothing would have happened,” he said, tightly balling his hands into fists. “You could’ve died!”

Scully carefully got up and walked over to where he was leaning against the counter. She grabbed his forearm softly and whispered, knowing he’d be able to hear her.

“Mulder, that could’ve happened a million other times as well. And as much as I enjoyed our little make-out session, your kisses weren’t so distracting that I’d drive into oncoming traffic.“

Mulder looked down at her hand on his forearm, and she squeezed it to get his attention.

“In fact, I remember being quite focused on getting home in one piece, so I could call you before bed,“ she continued, her voice now firm. He lifted his eyes to her quickly and searched her face. Slowly, a grin spread over her face.

“Your memory has come back, hasn’t it?” he asked, his voice cracking from relief.

Scully nodded, her grin turning into a gentle smile. “And I especially remember that I enjoyed kissing you very much.”

Mulder's face stretched into a huge grin, the tension in the room dissipating, only to be replaced with anticipation. “Well, I'm willing to repeat any kissing as soon as you’re ready,“ he offered with a suggestive wink.

Scully’s laughter removed the final traces of uncertainty, and Mulder carefully cradled her cheek in his hand.

“How about now,“ she smiled and moved her hand from his forearm to his neck to pull him in. “I want to make sure my memory didn't play any tricks on me,“ she whispered right next to his ear.

Mulder didn't need to be told twice. He quickly closed the gap between their lips and kissed her softly, then more intensely, while the soft, warm light of the setting sun warmed their faces through Scully’s kitchen window.

The End ***

Thank you so much for reading. You can also find this fic on AO3.

[allisonreader]

I have this one piece of writing that I just sort of have under the title of Amnesia that I’ve recently been thinking about again. Mostly because I’ve been reading a couple of Cars fics that have also dealt with either Lightning or Doc ending up with amnesia to some extent. So I’ve played around with this idea again, but changed it up a little. The only problem is that I’m no longer interested in finishing it to the extent that I originally thought I might. Mostly because I have gotten out; for the most part what intrigued me the most about my new take on it. So here’s that for what I have.

Lightning amnesia story thoughts. Two main ones. Both in the train accident version, but one where Lightning doesn’t remember Doc as his granddad, only canon events and then vice versa, where Lightning remembers Doc as granddad, but it’s canon events. Oh, if I did want to write something about this, it could be the two versions of Lightning switched places, but grandson Lightning would feel rather cheated out. And either way Doc wouldn’t like it. He’d be terrified about Lightning not knowing anyone or horrified that this stranger knows so much about his life but is also so wrong about his life (and in someways that might be harder for Doc.)

Canon Universe, Granddad memories.

They had gotten a call about a train having hit the back end of a car that had tried to make it across the tracks before the train got to the intersection.

Red, Sheriff, Mater and himself had thought it best that they all go out to the accident site. The engineer on the train hadn’t been sure how much of the car he had hit nor what state the car might be in. The only thing that the engineer was certain of was that the car hadn’t flipped. The accident happened in seconds and the train certainly didn’t slow down that quickly.

He really hoped that his services were only necessary in a minor way. He hopped a ride with Mater. While Red drove his fire engine and Sheriff his cop car. Lights and sirens going until they made the intersection of the road and train tracks. Lights were left on as they came upon the wreck.

He swore under his breath, the back end of the car was in rough shape. Worse yet, it was a race car. He recognized the red from the couple of races he had dared to watch over the season.

The rookie of the year.

What was HE doing out here and in that Car. He could feel himself bristling at just the thought of having to deal with a racer. Even if he was an injured one and clearly an idiot for trying to race a train.

Hopefully it didn’t kill the kid, if it was the rookie driver in the car. That would be a whole different headache if it wasn’t.

He let out half a breath upon seeing movement in the car and another quarter of a breath when he saw the young man he recognized as the racer of the car. Now he just needed to assess the boy’s condition.

"Hold still, I need to check you out for injuries." He told the boy gruffly.

The kid blinked at him blankly for a moment, before his eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"Granddad? What’re you doing here?"

"I’m not your granddad kid." He had not expected that response from a kid he didn’t know.

"Well you sure look like Jesse Hudson to me."

Panic jolted through him… surely this kid couldn’t know who he was. It had to be a coincidence that this kid’s grandfather had the same name as him and somewhat resembled him, that’s all it could be.

"You’re seeing things. I might resemble your granddad, but I’m not him. Now I have some important questions for you to answer. What’s your name?"

"Aaron McQueen." That answer took him as much by surprise as being called granddad. He had expected Lightning to be the given answer.

"How old are you?"

"21."

"What’s the date?"

"It’s ah… I’m not fully sure…"

He counted backwards from ten, that could simply be a careless boy losing track of the date or unsure of what day it actually was considering the time.

"What do you last remember doing?"

"I… I’m not actually sure… a race maybe… Granddad, what’s going on?"

"I’m not your granddad. You’ve got a rather large cut and goose egg on your head, I’m checking for a concussion and brain damage. Are you feeling sick at all? Nauseous? Headache?"

"My head does hurt… but I wouldn’t call it a headache… I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up."

"That’s good, we’re going to try and get you out of that car carefully. You’re going to stop if anything hurts. If you can’t get yourself out, we’ll have to cut the car open."

"Don’t do that! I can get out." Carefully the kid crawled out of the window. Letting him look him over with more care once he was out of the vehicle. McQueen was still insisting that he was his granddad.

Another jolt of fear ran through him as McQueen greeted Sheriff, Red and Mater as if he knew them and grew more upset when they didn’t. How did this kid, who had never stepped one foot in Radiator Springs before, know so much about them?

"Granddad, this really isn’t funny. Is this some prank or practical joke for how I’ve been acting lately? I don’t think that Nan or Aunt Ruth would appreciate how far you’re taking this. Where are Nan and Aunt Ruth?"

"How do you know that name?"

"Which name? Nan's or Aunt Ruth’s?"

"Ruth, I don’t know who your Nan is, but where did you get Ruth from?"

"Granddad, you’re really starting to freak me out. Nan's Emily Piston, or was before becoming a Hudson and I didn’t get Aunt Ruth’s name from anywhere. Why would I? She’s your twin."

This kid shouldn’t have that information. He had no reason to know it. His twin and wife were both dead, Ruth for many years and Emily more recently.

"I am not your grandfather, I have no children. My wife has passed recently in the last couple of years and my sister passed while in our early twenties."

"Mom won’t be happy to hear you say that…"

He hitched a ride back to town with Red so he could get some space from the racer who thought he was his granddad, let him go back into town with Mater, since he thought Mater was his friend and knowing Mater would accept that from this stranger. This young racer who knew too much about his life, but was also so wrong about it.

…

The longer the young man stayed in town, the more they all learned about his life.

Somehow it seemed like the accident with the train seemed to give him a totally different set of memories that while they had many similarities, were still very different from reality. Lightning; as the kid did mostly go by, explained what he thought he knew about everyone. Especially once he realized that they weren’t pranking him.

That the mom he knew didn’t exist, that Ruth had died back in the 50's and Emily— his Nan— had passed in the last couple of years.

Lightning explained that his Great Aunt Ruth had never died in '53; had a close scare, but survived though she always had to be careful with her health. Lightning also explained how he had still had his accident, but Nan… Emily, had ended up dropping off a care package for him and ended up staying and spending a lot of time with Ruth and him. As well as Emily’s Nanna after a time.

Explaining that Emily’s and his first date had been a dinner in the kitchen during a storm while he was still healing. Both he and Ruth ended up getting married. Ruth even ended up having three babies, two of them being twins. While he and Emily eventually had a baby girl, AND he ended up becoming a Piston Cup medic, eventually becoming the head medic and still an official doctor.

Once his daughter was old enough, she ended up marrying a Nick, who was a EMT, a paramedic, who died in a terrible accident when someone wrecked into the ambulance Nick was working when Lightning was no more than 4. Leaving Lightning with just his mom and them with an extremely close relationship. Especially since Lightning had always wanted to be a racer like his granddad, though granddad had been refusing to be the crew chief.

Lightning had admitted that his attitude lately had been rather arrogant since beginning to race and after watching some race footage from the year, seeing that his attitude seemed to match up rather the same. He remembered firing three crew chiefs and calling himself a one man show, so at least that was similar. Even if there was no Nan to tell off his behaviour.

Lightning even admitted that the granddad version of himself hadn’t seen him before the last race due to his behaviour. Clearly the young man was extremely distressed about having these memories that didn’t match up with anyone’s else’s and that his family was nonexistent in the way that he knew it.

Really the conversation between Lightning and Doc was the main reason that I wanted to write anything out. I was kind of thinking that the two different versions of Lightnings would have swapped places when the back ends of their cars were hit by the train. They’d both experience the other’s life. Canon Lightning getting quite a shock with granddad Doc. While granddad Doc originally thinks that canon Lightning is just pretending to not remember anyone at first to avoid getting into trouble before realizing (possibly either by Emily or Ruth) that, no, the boy really doesn’t know any of them. Which would be hard on everyone, Lightning included because he wants to have a family like that. The two Lightning’s switching back to their proper universes after the tie-breaker race and Lightning giving up the Piston Cup to help The King. It being a bit disorienting when they first switch back. Grandson Lightning having a much greater appreciation for his family afterwards and canon Lightning still getting a community in Radiator Springs after explaining what he experienced with granddad Doc. Doc having become rather fond of the grandson version of Lightning in the week. He knew him, so willing to give the canon Lightning a chance.

[leos-soggy-wolf-nuts]

Green Flag: Leo x Kinda-self-insert Episode 3

This is the first episode of this fic I'm writing after reading every route of Echo, so if you notice some kind of change (although, I doubt anyone is paying that much attention) that's probably why; Enjoy!

First disclaimer: I don't know how being a store manager works.

A disclaimer I'll bring over from Episode 1: I do not know how car insurance works.

"So...who's the wolf guy?" asks Ken, the pig who works the till. Ken is a brown-eyed, black-haired, nosey asshole. As his manager, I'll say that he's a good employee. As his friend, I'll say that he very consciously exploits my tendency to overshare. I ignore his question.

"You got a boyfriend, La-nee-oh-ell?"

My name tag at work says 'Lnioel'. He knows I hate it when he calls me that, and I groan accordingly. "He's just driving me to work, my car's a piece of crap."

"And it stinks, too." he retorts.

"Sure did after you were in there." I say under my breath, but loud enough for him to hear.

"Tch. Spiecist." he jokes as he stocks denim jeans on a shelf. The entrance bell dings, and we hush up and do our jobs, the clock ticking in tandem with the low-volume inoffensive music that fills the air for hours, and hours, and hours...and hours...until I'm numb and bleary-eyed.

The door rings again, and in its wake a wolf with red fur. I perk up, and smile a little, though the brain fog has only barely begun to clear. He spots me and walks over.

"It's quitting time, yeah?"

Ken raises his brows at me. I ignore him and check the clock. It's 5 on the dot.

"You're punctual, aren't you?" I say.

"Waiting is a pain. Didn't want to leave you hanging."

I smile at him, and go to get my stuff organized in the office. Papers go back in drawers, and my keys go back in my pocket. It's muscle memory, just like every other part of this job. The monotony is shattered, suddenly, as Leo leans conspicuously on the desk of the office. He's in another good mood.

"You do a lot of managing today?" he asks as I continue to move junk around. I snort.

"I don't even remember. Autopilot, the whole day, I swear."

"Amnesia." he says, enunciating the 'sia'. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

I look over at him with an incredulous expression. He's holding his hands out at me, his thumbs tucked behind his palms, out of view. He's grinning, though a gentle air pushes out of his teeth every half-second. He's trying not to laugh. I jokingly scowl at him and look back at my papers, which I'm trying to avoid showing him, as they're mostly doodles.

"Amnesia wouldn't make my eyes worse, thankfully," I say, suddenly a little too aware of how smudged my glasses are, "but even if I was an amnesiac, I'd have trouble forgetting you."

Bold. Intentionally. Oozing with plausible deniability.

Thankfully, it seems I won't have to deny anything. The wolf slides closer to me. "I'm on your mind, ciervo?"

He's close enough that I can feel his body heat.

And I wanna feel it all over me.

My antlers clack against the wall, and I clear my throat, unsure how to keep playing it cool. Is he just toying with me?

I don't mind being a toy.

Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Okay. I turn my body to lean against the desk just like he is, arms crossed, nonchalant, all casual smiles and ambient machismo.

"Nothing better to think about." I say.

That sounds stupid, but he gets the idea, sliding next to me, then twisting himself to stand right in front of me, so close our knees are touching.

"No boning in the office!" Ken shouts from outside, sounding only semi-serious. Leo and I chuckle, and I feel a pang of loss as he gets further away, beckoning me to join him outside. I spank him on the way out, making his tail jump. As we near the exit, Ken mockingly makes his hands kiss while Leo has his back turned. I flip him off and join the wolf outside. Night is just beginning to touch the horizon, the orange of the sky highlighting Leo's color, just as it had in the morning.

Leo snaps his fingers, remembering something. "I looked at your car today. You mind if I bring you to sign some stuff?" Leo says as the evening air swallows me. I nod. We board the chihuahua, and I grip my seatbelt as Leo slams down on the gas pedal. I'm less stressed out by his driving this time, flowing with the g-force.

CRASH!

"Puchica."

[ofstormsandfire]

9 & 10 for the ask game?

9: do you have any vague ideas for fics you might want to start in the future?

I have too many ideas for fics I might want to start in the future. all things considered I think my new years resolution is going to be to actually finish some of the ones I've already started.

send help. (or a fandom I'm into, if you want me to drop some actual ideas-)

10: how long have you been working on your current wip?

...which one. I have Multiple.

the main one at the moment is probably there's blood on your lies, a pokemon fanfic featuring cynthia punted a few hundred years into the past into the plot of pokemon legends arceus, which I've been working on since like... last? february? yeah according to ao3 that's when I posted the first chapter so. close enough. it's an absolute monster of a fic by multiple metrics.

the other fic I'm actively working on currently is called no one ever mentions fear, it was supposed to be my nanowrimo project, I hit 50k and wasn't done and I know from experience that if I just stop writing at the end of nano I just. won't ever bother to finish the fic.

that one's a fanfic for legend of zelda breath of the wild, in which I bonked my blorbo bird (blorbird, if you will) with the "amnesia," "character development," and "tragic backstory" sticks in no particular order. technically I only started writing that one at the beginning of november, but I was planning quite extensively for it during most of october, and it's a fic that I got the idea for a very long time ago and never actually wrote until much more recently.

I. am not actually sure exactly how long ago I got the idea for that fic, but I can tell you it has definitely been years. probably three. I remember thinking about it when I was visiting my stepfather and I haven't spoken to that man willingly in over a year, never mind set foot in the same state as him.

another wip I have, which I haven't done too much with in an embarrassingly long time but am co-writing with @thegreatandpowerfulversy, is a series of fics called Under a Broken Moon, which started when I realized that mantle in v7 of rwby in that first establishing shot really reminded me of warframe fortuna, and we consequently came up with backstories for rwby versions of all the fortuna characters, and from there it's just expanded into multiple main fics including such fun things like vox faunus in lieu of vox solaris, sienna khan cheating death with great glee, and the grineer causing Problems in vacuo.

that one, I can pinpoint when it started, because I still have the original prologue saved that never actually made it onto ao3. Vox Faunus was the first fic written in that series, back before I ended up bouncing so many ideas off of kira there that she eventually became an outright co-author. and that was originally written back in january of 2020.

anyway, those are the main wips I have at the moment, unless I'm forgetting something. I really hope I'm not forgetting something because three wips is a little much and I really, really want to get it down to two sooner rather than later.

girl help.

the relevant ask game, if you're curious?

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

the party doesn't start until i walk in LCBAB reaction let gooooooo

He put on a nice sweater, one without holes in it, and fluffed his hair a bit. He wanted to look nice but also not make it apparent that he had made some effort.

oh alec you virgo (is there gonna be any reaction to your fic where i stop mentioning alec virgo ass? maybe not)

It should be normal to think constantly about your friends 24x7 without it having any romantic intent.

the word alec is looking for is obsession. it always romantic feeling with friend and never a job

Alec wanted to meet the person who introduced the word beautiful. He wanted to ask that person what or who made them use this word and then tell them that beautiful was nothing compared to what Magnus looked like.

dont raise the dead just so you can be a simp its against the death code, dead ppl HR gonna have your head

Magnus jolted awake at that and started screaming. He took out the knife from under his pillow and launched it at Alec.

“Don’t come near me or I will kill you.” Magnus shouted.

when magnus keep a knife under his pillow its revealing detail on him and his background. when i keep a knife under my pillow im a danger to society????

“2nd May.”

no way in hell magnus is a Taurus at least pick a Scorpio date

And Alec was just—Alec.

and water makes things wet. we all know this

“I’m sorry.” Magnus said earnestly and it was all it took for Alec to forgive it.

alec needs to STAND UP i know he can. no virgo should forgive forget that easy stand UP

“Are you really using your childhood trauma to get out of being punched for saying stupid shit?“

Jace pretended to wipe fake tears from his face. “Is it working?”

the fact that you are making me relate to jace...evil?!?!?!?

Because how the hell was he supposed to survive without talking to Magnus for an entire week.

stream midnights by taylor swift it such a good album i know right

“Why does it matter to you? What the fuck does it matter when it is?” Magnus asked angrily.

me when im writing every essay. alec should have replied with "nothing" purely for the aesthetic

i was gonna make a joke about birthday as birthslay but my brain not functioning

Magnus held his face gently and Alec leaned into the touch. “I love you, Alexander. I’ve been in love with you since the day you had that law test and you forced me to quiz you for 48 hours and I hated absolutely every minute of it but I still did it. I love you more and more every day and I don’t know how to stop. And even if I knew, I wouldn’t want to stop.” Magnus breathed.

again stand UP

Alec was 32, and if he was being honest, he didn’t know why people had to work too.

actually nobody knows this it is another Bermuda triangle

“He is in a meeting with Abigail, right now. But he should be free any time now. I’ll just check in.”

um the amnesia au tease? are we okay?

Alec was fine with other people having a thing for Magnus. As long as they don’t act on that desire.

oooh amnesia au gonna wreck alec, serve him right for being a simp we cant be all too lovey-dovey around here

“I tried for ten years and these three convinced you in one night?” Alec said petulantly, bringing a chuckle out of Magnus.

maybe if u stop thinking with emotion and start thinking in strategic mode

this fic is just angst + trauma + alec being mega whipped to the point he can start a whipping cream brand + ari being the cutest + tease for hiadt when alec got dumped and his ex-husband moved on with his ex gf. again LAYERS

“Don’t raise the dead just because you want to be a simp” sent me. Your reactions like always are superior anh>>> I cracked so hard at the entire thing

Simp Alec would never stand up for himself and if you think it’s bad in LRHWY, wait till you read about HIADT Alec getting walked all over himself lmao. Also yes!!! Loved throwing that lil bit of amnesia au tease lmao.

I have honeslty no idea how this fic ended up being as angsty as everyone is saying it was lol. That’s what I’m saying—I can never tell which chapters or fics are going to be angsty and which ones are not. I’m in this with you homies jsjssjsk

P.S. Ari really do be the cutest I am love only one girl

[ldknightshade]

pop culture (mantis + chester)

under a cut for length; from this post

1. Was your OC influenced or inspired by any particular fictional character(s) when you made them?

mantis: not really-

chester: he is literally a question parody.

2. What genre (not counting the one they’re in) would your OC thrive in?

mantis: horror? maybe a bit too hardened for regular comedy but could do a black comedy. actually, horror-comedy sounds about right for them.

chester: he’s both so pathetic as well as eccentric to a near-repulsive degree (for those that can’t handle it, anyway… which is most people), that the only option is fantasy. his only option is to be a wizard in some tower rambling about tomes.

3. What genre would your OC do badly in but it would be hilarious or interesting to watch?

mantis: romance/drama/fantasy

chester: LITERALLY all of them but romance/drama takes the cake.

4. What media does your character enjoy? (For characters in settings that aren’t modern Earth, could be media from their home setting or what they’d like in a modern Earth AU)

mantis: within canon, doesn’t really partake in much outside radio new vegas, except for having read the occasional classic. in a modern au, would enjoy classic lit + 80s horror!

chester: COMICS, my god does he love comics. no time for video games, nor much tv. however he does enjoy a good 70s/80s film every once in a while.

5. What song(s) do you associate with your OC?

mantis: dani california - red hot chili peppers, lay down - priestess, got me under pressure - zz top, cold as ice - foreigner, bad company - bad company, you’re gonna go far, kid - the offspring, one little slip - barenaked ladies

chester: super freak - rick james, private eyes - hall & oates, break my stride - matthew wilder, another brick in the wall pt 2 - pink floyd, make your own kind of music - cass elliot, every breath you take - the police, kiss - prince

6. Alternatively, do you have any OCs you associate with the song(s) I just sent you?

not applicable

7. If your OC had to cosplay as a fictional character, who would they choose?

mantis: assuming modern au… bride of frankenstein, maybe.

chester: you’d think it’d be the question or rorschach or even mr. a but NO, it’s discowing.

8. Has your OC ever had a crush on a fictional (to them) character?

mantis: no.

chester: yes. his comic crushes are dinah lance/black canary, ororo munroe/storm, wanda maximoff/scarlet witch…

9. If your OC wrote fanfiction (or if they already do), what type? (fix fic, ship, crossovers, AUs, smut, etc.)

mantis: probably fix-it fic? occasional crack, smut only if it’s crack or to piss a friend off

chester: he writes the most DEVIANT smut (within ethical reason) KNOWN TO MAN

10. How would your OC do in the last book/movie/tv show/game/etc. you read/watched/played?

mantis: in disco elysium… i mean they would the amnesia side, actual investigation, and politics alright but i think may struggle with that world’s strong personalities. like, would probably have a very hard time playing nice with other folks. which could be for better or for worse, considering the game. i haven’t finished the game, though, so take this with a grain of salt.

chester: in disco elysium, he’d probably care less about the amnesia and just focus on the investigation but would succumb to, uh, crazier thoughts. he would be so repulsively eccentric, he’d probably get his job done in record timing. i haven’t finished the game, though, so take this with a grain of salt.

11. If your OC was a superhero, what would they be like? (powers, title, general vibe, etc.)

mantis: they would have the power of sound manipulation, likely calling themself “soundwave.” as this persona, they would play it more cool than usual; perhaps to terrifying ends, inciting something strange and cold within them. or, more explicitly: they’d have the safety of the physical mask in order to completely drop the social masks and be unabashedly narcissistic. anti-hero.

chester: technically he… kind of already is one? he has no powers, he’s in the venture household’s vents, he wears a rainbow mask and goes by “god molecule” because he was mid-DMT breakthrough when he got the idea to investigate the activity in the area and try to assassinate Rusty… BUT if we mean a classic dc/marvel hero? he’d have the same name and the same crazy-ass vibe, but be a bit quieter due to the fact he’d have the power of telepathy! instead of calling himself “god molecule” because of a DMT breakthrough making him have this batshit revelation, it instead unlocks a part of his brain that dulls hearing others’ thoughts, so long as he’s under the influence of something. that said, this iteration of him would be perpetually stoned as a civilian and only sober in as “god molecule.” however, due to years of hearing others’ thoughts impacting his mental health, he’s still a bit off his rocker when sober. anti-hero.

12. What animal would your OC have as their His Dark Materials daemon?

mantis: either a mantis (obviously), fox, raccoon, spider, or snake

chester: either a squirrel, hare, peacock, goose, or grasshopper

13. What Pokémon would be on your OC’s team and/or what would be their preferred type?

okay so i don’t know many pokémon BUT this is from looking them up

mantis: their poison/fire/steel/bug team is salazzle, revavroom, heatran, scolipede, scizor, and centiskorch

chester: his electric/ice/fairy/bug team is arctozolt, frosmoth, dedenne, clefable, galvantula, and ribombee

14. If your OC was a Dungeons and Dragons character, what would their class be? And/or: If they were playing D&D, what kind of character might they play? (these aren’t necessarily the same thing)

mantis: would be a changeling warlock, acolyte background.

chester: would be a kenku ranger, urchin background.

15. How well would your OC do in a standard slasher movie?

mantis: luck 10!! final girl!! alternatively, survives because they decided to avoid the situation entirely, likely on a gut feeling.

chester: dies first, no question. wouldn’t even try to avoid the situation, probably dies for being too nosy.

16. What stock character would your OC be stuck as in a sitcom?

mantis: the wisecracker

chester: the goofball

17. Who would your OC main in Super Smash Bros?

mantis: samus

chester: sonic

18. Who would your OC play in Mario Kart?

mantis: toad

chester: waluigi

19. If your OC was in Star Trek’s Starfleet, what would be their role/position? Or, if that doesn’t really fit your OC: why would they get kicked out of Starfleet?

mantis: would not manage to be in starfleet and/or get kicked, more likely to be a part of the maquis resistance

chester: would not manage to be in starfleet and/or get kicked, more likely to be a part of the maquis resistance

20. What role would your OC play in a heist story?

mantis: the conman/the distraction

chester: the safe-cracker

21. What kind of classic horror monster (vampire, werewolf, alien, etc.) would your OC be?

mantis: frankenstein’s monster

chester: alien

22. What type of Avatar The Last Airbender-type bender (or non-bender) would your OC be? Any bending specialties?

mantis: waterbender; if able to learn blood bending, they would.

chester: airbender or non-bender with no specialties.

23. Your OC gets isekai’d to a bog-standard fantasy world. What does your OC do and how badly does it go for that world?

mantis: immediately ensures they’ve got food/water/shelter, starts seeing how to get involved with local politics, gets involved with adventuring. they’ve got opinions, and they will make them known. but at the same time, a guy’s gotta stay on the road.

chester: immediately gets into magic, becomes a wizard, gets so wrapped up in learning magic he forgets everything else for decades until he resurfaces and decides the fantasy version of the hatman (probably some type of old one or whatever) charged him with taking over the world.

24. In the Muppet version of your story, is this particular OC a Muppet or the one human?

mantis: human.

chester: muppet.

25. What would be your OC’s My Little Pony cutie mark?

mantis: a mirror

chester: red string

26. Your OC is stuck in a musical episode. What song(s) do they sing? (And how thrilled or annoyed are they about being stuck in a musical?

mantis: i think i’m going to kill myself - elton john; is very pissed about the random musical episode

chester: psycho killer - the talking heads; is only upset when he starts singing in the vents and gives away that he’s there

27. In a murder mystery, what role would your OC play? (e.g. detective, sidekick, wacky suspect, rival investigator who gets in thew way, red herring, true culprit)

mantis: sidekick that may or may not get promoted to lead detective, red herring, or true culprit

chester: detective, wacky suspect, or rival investigator who wasn’t even hired he’s just doing it for fun-

28. What is your OC’s Warrior Cats name?

mantis: mudfang (shadowclan)

chester: squirrelbark (windclan)

29. Gun to their head, what is your OC’s fursona?

mantis: ironically, a fox, as much as they’d hate it. luckily for them, vulpes is more of caesar’s dog, so while he may be a fox in name, he’s more like a really intelligent husky in practice… meaning the animal is theirs for the taking. i don’t think they perceive themself as much of a mantis, despite the name.

chester: sparkledog! but in a 70s/80s way-

[persephoneflouwers]

hey hey angie 💞 please bless us with your fanfic top 5?

Hello! 🌸

I'm sorry if I reply so late, but I wasn't home and didn't have access to my computer. Thank you for asking this question. I've been wanting to write a post about my favourite fics for ages now. There are too many. That's why I can't pic 5 favourites, but I will make a run out of my bookmarks for now, if that's okay 👉👈🥹. This was fun and I have so many more fics that I love. Like all the ABOs and really so many others, but I don’t want to add them all in a post because they will get lost and they deserve ALL the attention. So let’s tag this as a LARRY FIC RECS - PART 1. Please, if you read any of these, let me know and let’s discuss them! <3

I'm very excited! Alright, let's go in no specific order:

Mirror Touch by pinky_heaven19 (59K): synesthesia AU that made me all soft and melting. Easily, one of the first fics I'd recommend.

The Changer and the Changed by homosociallyyours (60K): Hands down the best Girl direction AU for me. Lots of lesbian and feminism talk. Very very good. I saved it on my phone and re-read it every now and then. 

No pressure, no diamonds by karamelised (71K): Another fic I would read in loop. It’s just fun and hot but also angstyyy. Louis is a menace and Harry CAN’T (can he?) have any of it. They got me all in the first scene. The description of Harry got me like “alright yeah, that’s it. that’s the one”. Venice x Larry is always a good idea.

Love After the End of the World by mercurial-madhouse (writing_practice) (162K): This one is the dystopian-soulmate AU you need to read. Louis is such a pain in the ass in this one, I swear. You can't not love it lmao

Sodalite & Aventurine by forreveries (81K): Give me all the pirates fics, because I will drink them up like water in the desert. 

Fading by tothemoonmydear (202K): please read the tags of this one. It's a tough one, I read it long ago, so I don't remember much of the writing style, but I think the ED is depicted in a very thoughtful way.

Time Passed by coffinofachimera (66K): this broke my heart. I rarely cry with fics, but I sobbed at the end. Like the tags say... heavy heavy angst.

Our Lives, Non-Fiction by indiaalphawhiskey (@indiaalphawhiskey) (114K): I will defend this fic til my last breath. It's mature, it's complex, it's metaliterature at some point. Definitely NOT canonical, loved it!

For As Long As I Can Remember (It's Been December) by green_feelings (116K): the amnesia AU that got under my skin because it made me sooooo mad!

And down the long and silent street by whimsicule (86K): This fic just came back in my mind yesterday in chat with @lt2hoe! Victorian London, wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder. More of these please!

Chasing Empty Spaces by Lis (domesticharry) (79K): even though I remember complaining with my sister about the fact that it contains few historical innaccurancies, I loved the story! Very emotional til the very very very end.

Dance to the Distortion by Lis (domesticharry) (97K): speaking of annoying Louis... this author never disappoints, trust me!

Let's Fall in Love in a Place You Want to Stay by embro (134K): this was cute and got me pouting all along cause I didn’t know if I was sad or just emotional. Oh, this is the Tarzan AU!

Take My Breath Away by RealityBetterThanFiction (154K): Top gun AU. One direction as pilots was what I needed. Narry is magical here!

With The Strength To Carry On by lovelarry10, therogueskimo (113K): I read it for my professional bias. Doctor AU. They cute cute cute. 

The school of extraordinary lovers by stylinsoncity (168K): I think I consider this one a classic. It’s simply a beautiful read. 

Maybe down in lonesome town by resurrectdead (45K): I don't quite remember this one, but it's in my bookmarks so I'll trust past me and rec this too. Farm AU are my guilty pleasure.

Let me separate my favourite authors from the rest because I’m on my knees for these two angels: 

The agony and the rapture by @thedevilinmybrain (venomedveins) (79K): you have no idea how much I love this fic. I would dare say I love it as much as I love pistacchios. And I love pistacchios A LOT. 

I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is by devilinmybrain (venomedveins) (35K): As Dj Khaled would say... ANOTHER ONE. This is my love letter for @thedevilinmybrain I’m not sorry. 

Babydoll blues by devilinmybrain (venomedveins) (111K): my comfort fic. I read it when I wanna feel something. Hottest one on AO3. So hot it’s dangerous. They have this great ability to create this fantastic dynamic between Harry and Louis. I can’t get enough. 

And the other fave must be @larrydoinglaundry <3 

Love is a word, you gave it a name by CuckooTrooke (158K): this fic is everything. Smut, fluff, serious talk, gender talk, adventure, mental health. Waiting for the sequel like a kid waits for Christmas morning. 

This chemistry like candy to me by CuckooTrooke (35K): If you have ever asked me for an omega Harry fic rec, this one is the first one I mentioned. 100% recommended by me to literally anyone lmao. it’s the fluffiest, most endearing, I like the way the author explores and navigates some events.

[thrillridesz]

heart racing ▫ j.yn

in part of the adrenaline rush! collab hosted by @lucas-wongs​ + @ickjun​

⇢ pairing: jaehyun x reader (f) (ft. other nct members + twice’s jeongyeon)

⇢ genre: fluff, angst, racer!au, best friends to lovers

⇢ warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions and consumption of alcohol, alcoholism, hitting rock bottom

⇢ synopsis: once a revered member of the racing industry, jaehyun has been living at rock bottom for the past few months following a tragic accident that effectively put him out of racing. it seems as though nothing would get through to him, not even you. will he ever break out of the constant loop of doubt and start seeing things for what they really are?

⇢ word count: 8.04k

⇢ fic playlist: get you to the moon - KinaBeats ft. Snøw | Amnesia - 5SOS | You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift | Confetti Falling - Big Time Rush | Go Season - Devin Bronson (highly recommended for the racing scene) | Love Story - Taylor Swift 

⇢ a/n : unedited! also posted on this account because I’m considering merging my nct account with my tbz writing blog also PLEASE check out the other writers’ works ^^ we’ve all worked hard on our fics

“Jaehyun, you’re ruining yourself.”

The dim room reeked of stale alcohol and something mouldy as the empty beer bottles that littered the floor clanged noisily against the surrounding furniture, leaking golden yellow liquid all over. Old, worn clothes were draped everywhere, stained and darkened with murky stains while the battered television flickered weakly to live, showing nothing but static. The walls were streaked and striated with scratches, as if someone had just been clawing desperately at them and on the floor amidst the empty glass bottles, were pieces of scrap poster paper. Sunlight peeks in through the drawn blinds, giving a teasing glimpse to the bustling outside world from the sad, decrepit apartment Jaehyun lived in.

Sprawled on the couch with nothing on except a wrinkled pair of jeans, Jaehyun’s eyes were devoid of emotion - blank and dazelike. In his hand, his fingers held on limply to the neck of yet another bottle of beer, possibly his nth for the day. His usually shiny hazel brown hair was greasy with filth and his bare chest was sticky with sweat from being cooped up all day in this tiny, stuffy apartment of his. His jawline was starting to grow a hint of stubble given how much he’d completely let himself go and dark circles were appearing underneath those intense eyes of his.

Slowly, Jaehyun lifted his gaze from the floor to look at you, the first flicker of emotions that he’d ever displayed in the whole day. You stood before him, arms akimbo, your gaze sharp and piercing. He smiled, a smile that held no mirth or happiness.

“Oh, you’re still here.”

You shook your head, ripping the bottle of beer from his grasp. As you approached, the bottles, clothes and torn pieces of paper on the ground almost made you trip and you tutted under your breath.

“Of course I am. I’m your best friend who is somehow still here with you. Best friends help each other.”

He chuckled nonchalantly, waving his hand at the door. “Well, feel free to leave then. I don’t need your help.” His eyes held a hint of anger as he did, something that did not escape your notice.

“Jaehyun,” you said softly, placing the bottle on a nearby table as you dread what was to come next. “Please, not this again.”

Your words only served to fuel the fiery spark of anger in his eyes as he said in a barely controlled tone, the irritation radiating from him in ripples that threatened to evolve into waves, “Why not? I’m a fucking wreck and a loser anyways. Leave like everyone else did. Leave like…” His voice wobbled, “leave like Jeongyeon did.”

Your heart fell and it took almost a godlike willpower not to let your emotions show. Was he still thinking about her?

“Jaehyun-”

“What? Are you gonna say I’m not a loser like you always do? Cut the fucking lies. Everyone out there is saying the same thing, what makes you think you can convince me that you’re not thinking it either? Hm?” He spat, the drowsiness in his demeanour dissipating fast as red hot anger replaced it. There was so much internal frustration within Jaehyun that just seeing him like this was enough to break your heart. It was one thing to see him in this terrible state but it was quite another to see him directing his anger towards you.

You drew in a deep breath, trying to calm your pounding heart and to stop the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. Having been there with him every step of the year ever since the both of you were children playing and horsing around the neighbourhood, you found yourself desperately missing those much simpler times and wondering how things became so wrong.

For as long as you could remember, Jaehyun had always been interested and had a natural flair for racing. There always existed a competitive streak in him that thrived off a challenge. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was a game that could have a clear winner or incited competitiveness, he was all up for it. As kids, the two of you used to compete over everything, be it for the last popsicle in the convenience store down the street or past the gates of your school. It was as if racing was something he needed in order to live. It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school did Jaehyun decide to take his love for racing to a professional level. He began to dive deep into the motorsport industry, starting out as a mere rookie in auto racing. He never did apply to college, preferring instead to invest all his time into his newfound life career.

His rise to fame was quick, quicker than most. Within his first year, he had won a number of races, beating even some of the well known names in the sport. Every other month, he was winning trophies and exorbitant cash prizes which in return earned him the recognition of famous sponsors and racers. Bumper stickers from the various sponsors decorated the back of his ride and it was no time at all before Jaehyun began to don some of the most expensive sports gear on the tracks. With his smouldering good looks, he also appeared on the front pages of magazines and newspapers, all while attracting a loyal fanbase made up of both racing enthusiasts and adoring admirers.

To everyone else, he was the suave, handsome and effortlessly cool young racer who was practically born to race and to do it well but to you, he was your childhood friend… and your first love. In front of the flashing lights and cameras, Jaehyun knew his way around the crowd. He knew exactly when to flash one of his dazzling, dimpled smiles and how to work the crowd - it was just one of his innate charms. Yet, you knew that underneath that, that flashy, extravagant Jaehyun, was the Jaehyun you grew up with and had gradually fallen in love with.

As children, he was there for you whenever you needed him, always ready to lend a helping hand when he noticed that you were stuck in an unfavourable situation. You distinctly remember what had happened in second grade. It was a bright and warm summer’s day, the lovely scent of sweet peas floating in the air as the sun bore down on the earth. Pigeons flitted over the sidewalks, pecking at the cemented floor and the leaves of the oak trees that lined the streets rustled gently in the wind.

You fell with a loud and heavy thud on your bottom, feeling the leaves crunch noisily under your weight. Fear and trepidation coursed through your veins as you stared with eyes wide at your tormentors.

“Look at her, she looks pathetic. Do it, Johnny! Do it!”

A tall, hunkering boy flanked by his cronies stood over you, his dark, massive shadow engulfing you as you frantically scrambled backwards. Tears were beginning to stream down your face and a sharp pain shot up your spine with each move, owing to the impact of the fall. There were scratches on your hands as you dragged your palms over the rough gravel in an attempt to move away.

There was a malicious glint in Johnny’s eyes and his lips were curved into a devious smirk as he stared down at you, domineering and intimidating. The veins in his arms and hands were bulging angrily and as he clenched his fists, you felt your stomach sink. Your legs began to feel like jelly and your vision was beginning to blur from all the salty tears. You were struck with fear and the sense of helplessness you felt made you feel both ashamed and furious at yourself yet there was nothing you could do.

You held your hand up to shield yourself from the impending attack as the bully lifted up his fist.

“Hey! How about you pick on someone your own size?!”

The group of you turned to see Jaehyun, eyes blazing with anger as his chest heaved. His wind-swept hair hung over his eyes, a surefire sign that he’d run over and his cheeks were red from exertion. Even from afar, he was clearly no match to Johnny’s larger build, much less the whole lot of them.

“J-Jaehyun?” You spluttered, shocked.

“Who is this clown- Ow!” Johnny stumbled backwards as a rock pebble hit him on the head, promptly ricocheting off his forehead and bouncing onto the ground. His jaw was clenched in pain and when he removed his palm, a reddish bruise had blossomed and there was even a faint trace of blood. There was a split second of stunned silence before Johnny turned almost magenta with rage.

“GET HIM!” He roared and his cronies shook out of their daze, immediately going after Jaehyun who’d already ran a good distance before the reality of what had just happened set in. His mocking laugh rang through the afternoon amidst a cackle of profanities and threats yelled at him.

It was a laugh that remained in your memories all these years. It was a laugh that strengthened you, a laugh that spoke so much of willful courage and youthful rebellion which was everything you’d eventually come to associate with Jaehyun. That laugh was bright and so… him.

Yet now, you could see none of that playful mischief and vibrancy in those eyes. All that is left is emptiness.

“You’re not a loser, Jaehyun,” you began softly, “you never were in my eyes. You were a fighter.”

Those beautiful eyes you adored so much narrowed at you, his face twisted into a scowl.

“A fighter? Guess what, y/n?” He sneered, his voice dripping with venom. “I fought. I fought endlessly but did that work out for me? I threw in everything I could, every little thing. I worked hard and put in a hundred and one percent of my effort.”

You stared at him, your heart aching for him as a single tear began to roll down his cheek, tears of anger, indignation and pain.

“But did that work out? No, it didn’t. If anything, it left me a wreck. People out there call me a loser, a has-been and even my girlfriend has left me. It doesn’t matter how much effort I put in, how much I fought because at the end of the day, everyone is only here because of what they think I am. They saw me as a champion, an up and coming and the moment I wasn’t anymore, they all dropped me in a heartbeat. What are you waiting for, y/n? Why the hell are you even still here?”

His words echoed through the empty apartment and out loud, it sounded bleak, harsh and biting. His anguished voice tore at your heart and as each word left those lips, it felt like your heart was slowly breaking apart. Neither of you said anything for a moment, locked in a silent, unspoken fight as he held your gaze steadily. His eyes were cold and there was the look of a broken man in them.

“I am here because I love you, Jaehyun,” you said finally, your voice quivering. “I don’t care who or what you are and it pains me to see you tear yourself down like this because I know you are not the loser you believe you are. I don’t know how much of this I can take, seeing you ruin yourself.”

You can see the slight softening in his eyes and you gritted your teeth.

“I’m going to go. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I can’t see you ruin yourself and be able to do nothing about it. I’m not strong enough for that.”

With that, you left the apartment before he could see the tears in your eyes.

The miserable, empty can of beer clattered loudly against the hardwood floor, the sound echoing through the dank apartment.

Jaehyun barely lifted an eyebrow, his fingers growing slack without him even knowing. He stared up at the dark ceiling, a hooded look in those once bright eyes. The stench that hung around him was growing more intense by the day and it was reaching a point whereby he could almost smell himself but there was nothing in him that seemed to care.

Sounds of active civilisation outside drifted in through the windows and occasionally, he’d hear the honking of angry drivers on the roads or the laughter of children playing at the playground at the courtyard below. Normally, he loved waking up to these sounds or at least when he wasn’t off to the race tracks, when he was relaxing with a book in his hands. Now however, he found them irksome, irritating and he wanted nothing more but to block them out. He wanted absolutely zero reminder of the world outside.

Grunting, Jaehyun dragged himself off the couch. As he trudged heavily back to his room where his comfortable bed beckoned to him, he turned to stare at the large, imposing front door where moments ago, you’d slammed shut as you left him to his own devices.

Guilt tugged at his heart and for a split second, Jaehyun contemplated running after you. When you left, there was an indescribable sense of hollowness that engulfed him in a way that he couldn’t quite understand or explain. The apartment was filthy, dark and small but somehow with you around just a few minutes ago, it felt just a little bigger, a little warmer. As much as he hated to admit it, his heart was calling to him to reach out to you, run after you. The crumpled look on your face haunted him but he shook the thought from his mind.

It would be better if you left him. If you knew what was good for you, you would.

The anger in him was beginning to resurface at the thought of everything that had happened over the past few months. His career plummeting on a downward spiral right after his recovery, the exact opposite of what was predicted by his agent.

He was born to race, his family and his friends had always told him so. He knew it himself, he could feel it in his blood, his bones, his spirit. Ever since he was little, Jaehyun had known that his career would have something to do one way or another with racing. As a child, he loved running, competing but most of all, he loved riding in his father’s pickup truck on the way to school. He loved the way the vehicle would zoom past the streets, overtaking other vehicles and he loved the feeling of the wind against his face. He loved the speed and everything about cars or racing. It felt natural for him to pursue a career in competitive racing and a natural he was.

After getting signed with a racing company, Jaehyun quickly rose to fame with his numerous championships, bagging trophies, medals and cash prizes in almost every event he participated in. Sports magazines and reporters would clamour over each other to score an interview with him. People wanted pictures with him, wanted him to sign an autograph for them.

He was the golden boy in the racing world, an untouchable.

In the racing world, everything goes a mile a minute and nothing waits for anyone. After the morbid crash at the June Tokyo Prix, Jaehyun had sustained several fractures to his ribs and a severe concussion that left him in the hospital’s intensive care unit bedridden for several months. The pain was unlike any other and every single move hurt immensely but what suffered more damage than he did was his career and his relationships.

Within months, the racing career he had so painstakingly built up for himself collapsed before him. Due to long inactivity, brands and sponsors began to drop him, slowly at first then steadily one by one. He was also constantly under the media’s scrutiny for a period of time, their cameras and microphones thrusted in his face while he lay helpless on the hospital bed. The bright flashes blinded him and the loud noises made his head pound and even now, he still remembered how that experience was like, shuddering every time it crossed his mind. It had taken Jaehyun countless hours of physical therapy before he could even think of racing competitively again.

Yet when he did, he quickly realised he never could revert back to his old self, the one who got off on adrenaline kicks while zooming along the tracks at breakneck speed, the one who only knew what it was like to win. He was slower, less coordinated. His body could no longer take the pressure racing would subject it too, or at least not quickly enough for him to make a full, stunning comeback.

The tabloids and news had run wild with his fall from grace, writing up horrible, demeaning articles about him. His rivals had mocked him to his face and he could even sense the visible disappointment from his fans emanating from the stands whenever he’d lost yet another race. The thing that really broke the camel’s back however, was when his girlfriend Jeongyeon initiated a breakup.

Jaehyun had hoped that things would turn for the better, never one to give up. He’d trained tirelessly everyday, pushing his brittle body to the limit. He never let up on himself, gritting his teeth through all the physical and mental pressure he had imposed on himself. When the final text was sent, Jaehyun could remember distinctly how hopeless and distraught he’d felt. It felt like his world, the empire he had so painfully and relentlessly crafted for himself from scratch was breaking bit by bit. To add salt to the wound, the next time he’d seen her on television, her body was plastered against his biggest rival, Yuta. Her arms were wrapped around his and her lips pressing against his cheeks with no shame whatsoever for the interviewer interviewing him, no sign of the girl who’d once told him that she loved him with all her heart.

What was once determination and naive hopefulness soon devolved into anger and resentment. Jaehyun began to let himself go and the change was drastic. Where there once existed a time whereby he’d rise from his slumber early to visit the gym, he now regularly slept well into the late afternoon. His diet began to consist largely of takeout, junk food and alcohol and his apartment got more and more cluttered by the day. He’d stopped contacting his friends and family, ignoring their calls and texts, preferring to fester in his own solitude. It wasn’t long before an odour had started to emit from his place, a nauseating mixture of stale pizza, beer and pure filth from the lack of showers.

His appearance was also no longer polished, but rather haggard as if he’d aged five years in a matter of months. He was beginning to lose his fit stature, the healthy glow he’d once been prized on by magazines and gossip columns dimming. It got to a point whereby Jaehyun had begun to avoid looking at his hideous reflection in the mirror, his self-hatred growing with each day.

A poster of him in his racing gear and his race car was tattered and wrinkled on the floor, stained with ketchup and soda. Staring at it blankly with eyes empty of any emotions whatsoever, Jaehyun swiped it up and in a swift moment, he tore it up with a large rip before trashing it somewhere on the floor.

Flopping onto his comforter, he almost moaned in pleasure as he sunk into the soft sheets. Reaching for the air conditioning control, a loud smack on the ground roused him from his hedonistic haze. His hair was sticking up in all directions as he peered over the edge of his bed to see a picture frame that had fallen from his night stand.

Holding it in his hands, he looked at it with a nonchalant air.

It was a picture of the both of you a few years ago, back when he was just kick starting his racing career. He hadn’t yet made a name for himself then as the two of you leaned in for the picture.

You had on a bright, illuminating beam on your face, your eyes alive and glittering with happiness. Your hair was down, wisps of it framing your face as the sun brought out the colour and shine of it. Next to him, you’d completely dwarfed in comparison. He had his arm around you, bringing you to his side and from the picture, Jaehyun could feel a smile begin to crack on his face at the comical height difference.

He’d looked completely at ease here, carefree with the recklessness and restlessness of the soul beneath shining through his dark eyes. His hair was wavy, styled down in that ridiculous fashion he wanted so badly to leave back in high school. He had worn a dimpled smile on his face, the look of someone who knew he was destined for greatness and believed in it.

Jaehyun was about to put the picture down when something caught his eye. He leaned in closer.

There was something about you. At first glance, it would have been clear that you were smiling for the camera but upon closer look, it looked as if you might be smiling at him instead. Your smile was softer, eyes gentler from the first time he’d seen the picture. It was the sort of smile that struck him in his heart, the kind of smile that would make its recipient feel loved, appreciated.

“I want to be a racer when I grow up.”

You turned to Jaehyun, eyes wide as saucers as you popped the ice popsicle out of your mouth.

“Why?”

He shrugged, still struggling with the wrapper of the popsicle. The two of you sat on the wooden bench, side by side as the other kids ran around the park, playing rounds of tag while their parents or babysitters sat watching over them. The sun was glaring down on the earth and though it was a great day to go out to play and sweat it out, it was also a perfect day to find an excuse to buy popsicles with what little pocket money your parents had given to you two. It wasn’t an opportunity to be missed.

“I really like racing. I don’t know if there’s anything else I’d want to be,” he said simply, grinning as he finally succeeded in breaking open the plastic.

You tried to hide the blush that was beginning to creep up to your cheeks, looking away from him.

“My mom says being a doctor is good.”

As soon as you said it, you immediately regretted your words. Jaehyun scrunched up his nose in disgust.

“No way! It’s so boring. Do you want to be a doctor?”

Quickly, you shook your head fervently. “No!”

“Then what do you want to be?” He asks curiously, sucking on his popsicle.

You are quiet for a while as you ponder over his question. What exactly do you want to be when you grow up?

“...A writer.” You said finally and he swiveled around to look at you, clearly not expecting your answer.

“A writer? Hm, why?”

“I just really like reading. I want to write interesting stories that people will like,” you take a tentative lick of your popsicle, the icy, sweet taste of apple flavouring coating your tongue, “Like fairytales!”

Jaehyun broods over your answer, seemingly deep in thought. For a moment, neither of you say another word as you sit together under the warm, sunny day, enjoying your popsicles.

“I want people to like me too.” He says suddenly, his eyes shining. “People will like my racing! I’m going to be a racer and people will like me to win!”

He hops to his feet, his popsicle raised as he made his declaration. There is a triumphant, toothy smile on his face and he says it with so much hope and gusto that you can’t help but feel drawn to his driven spirit. For a boy of five foot, there was a lot of motivation and energy in him and there was just something about him that got you transfixed.

Under the sunlight, his smile seemed almost blindingly bright with the shadows highlighting the charming dimples on those round cheeks. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and your heart began to pound. Your words seemed stuck in your throat and you choked out, “I t-think you’ll make a good racer, J-Jaehyun.”

You thought your heart might burst as his smile grew wider, his dimples making deeper indentations. It felt like the sun might just be a little too hot since your face felt like it was positively flaming.

“Thank you, y/n.”

Suddenly, something caught your eye and shakily, you pointed at him.

His smile dropped as his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“What?”

“Y-your popsicle is m-m-melting… down your a-arm.”

The elevator button made an uncharacteristic squeaking sound as Jaehyun jabbed repeatedly at it, his jaw clenched in impatience.

“Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up,” he muttered frantically under his breath, pacing the lift lobby. The red letters above the elevator were moving at a snail’s pace and it seemed as if it’s stopped to pick up some passengers on the 5th floor. How long does it take for people to move into an elevator?

Jaehyun groaned in annoyance as he watched the number on the display crawl up slowly.

This wouldn’t do. By the time it’s here, it would be too late.

Immediately, he sprinted for the stairs instead, his heart hammering against his chest.

There was great fanfare as the rowdy crowd erupted into raucous cheers, the large, industrial sized party poppers going off with a bang, covering everyone in glitter streamers and confetti. Cameras were flashing and clicking away at every corner while throngs of sports reporters flooded the holding area, all trying to reach the champions for their coveted exclusive interviews. Agents and pit crews were all celebrating with the sound of champagne bottles popping and yells and cheers of congratulations ringing through the air.

Jaehyun stood at the top of the podium, shooting the cameras his trademark stunning grin as he posed with his golden trophy that looked to be about the size of his torso. The racing suit he was wearing was uncomfortably hot and he wanted nothing more than to strip from it but the adrenaline and euphoria he was experiencing far surpassed any feelings of discomfort.

This was it, the taste of success. It was everything he lived for, raced for. This was why he always trained so hard, from dawn to dusk. This was why he put his own body through all those hours of endurance training, gym and dieting. It was all for this single moment of true bliss enjoyed and savoured after the extreme thrill of racing. Here on the podium, towering above everyone else… He was truly where he needed to be, where he was born to be.

As he stepped off and the bodyguards swarmed in to escort him to his own holding room, Jaehyun couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Yet another trophy for display on his shelf back in his apartment. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the feeling of winning but then again who would?

Reporters were attempting to accost him at all sides, all screaming out the same old questions he had grown tired of early on.

“How do you feel after winning the prix for the third year running?”

“You hit a record timing today! How did you train for the race?”

“What do you have to say to your rival, Nakamoto who came in second this year? By a mere few seconds at that!”

Jaehyun nodded and waved at a few of them, still wearing a smile on his face but there was no answer evoked from him. He’d kept up a calm and cool demeanour throughout but once he was in his holding room alone, the moment the door closed shut behind him, he let out a loud, jubilant howl.

“Fuck yes!” He roared out in happiness before collapsing onto the couch, laughing to himself as he held his trophy above him. He badly needed a shower but he couldn’t care less, not with the trophy in his hands. Under the light, the gold shone and even as a seasoned racer, the excitement and happiness from winning never grew old. In the empty room, the victory felt even more profound, the reality of claiming the championships for yet another year sinking in.

He was in the middle of celebrating and basking in his own victory, he received a text.

Jy: how’s my man doing? congratulations on the win honey ❤️

Jae: thanks babe, it feels fucking amazing. you have no idea… also i missed you so much

Jy: we should celebrate. together, alone. tonight at my place? ;) we haven’t done it in awhile, i miss your body, your kisses

Jaehyun stared at the text. He should be happy, excited to see Jeongyeon again after so long. He had been so preoccupied with training for the big race that he’d barely had any time for her. He had missed her yet now that they were finally exchanging texts again after so long apart, he didn’t seem to feel the same anticipation.

There was something about that text she sent that seemed weirdly… detached. He had imagined their first interaction in over a month to be one that warmed him up in the inside, brought him to a whole new level of euphoria even after winning but if anything, this reality paled in comparison to the scenario he had looked forward to in his mind.

Jae: yeah sure

After pressing send, he tossed his phone onto the coffee table and rested his head against the velvety cushion of the couch. Somehow, that very short exchange with Jeongyeon had dimmed his excitement and readiness to celebrate.

His phone suddenly rang, disrupting him from the reverie he’d found himself in.

“Must be Jeongyeon,” he thought to himself and for some reasons as he swiped to answer the call, he found himself reluctant to talk.

“Hello?”

“Jung Jaehyun! I was watching your race on television, congratulations for coming in first yet again! You were terrific out there.”

Y/n.

Jaehyun smiled, feeling his heart swell at your words.

“Thanks, y/n. I really appreciate it.”

“How about we meet for dinner tonight? I know of this amazing Italian place that serves the best lasagna, your favourite! My treat too to celebrate your win, how’s that?”

At the mention of lasagna, Jaehyun could feel his stomach rumbling and his mouth watering. The tangy tomato sauce, copious amounts of cheese and spiced minced beef with soft pasta… He would absolutely be down for some well-deserved lasagna after weeks of feasting on plain, watery salads. Dinner sounded like a great idea.

“Sure, I- Wait, I can’t,” he groaned, suddenly remembering his plans with Jeongyeon. Plans he didn’t even particularly look forward to.

“Why not?” You asked.

“I um…”

Fuck, why is it so hard to say it?

“I have plans with Jeongyeon tonight,” he said, ignoring the strange pang of guilt and indignation that hit him square in the chest.

“Oh! Oh, uh… That’s completely fine. Don’t worry about it, we can always have dinner some other day.”

“Really? That would be great! How does next week sound?”

“Sounds good to me!” Even on call, he could imagine you bobbing your head enthusiastically like you usually did and that brought a chuckle out of him.

“Alright, I’ll see you then y/n.”

“See you! Please rest well, you deserve it.”

“Thank you,” he replied before hanging up.

What is this warm feeling in him?

Jaehyun raced out of the apartment complex, his eyes searching his surroundings.

The sun was glaring and he couldn’t see straight without squinting his eyes. He must have been a weird sight to behold - scruffy, pale from the lack of the outdoors and reeking of the garbage piled up in his apartment. An elderly woman walking past him tutted disapprovingly at his disheveled appearance, holding her nose as she did but Jaehyun didn’t seem to notice her. His mind was on something else, something more important.

A boy from across the street was staring at him with his mouth agape, looking like a deer caught in headlights as he shakily fumbled in his pockets for his phone. Jaehyun let his sights linger on him, wondering if he should have at least thrown on a coat but as he turned, he caught sight of a figure hanging by the bus stop, looking miserable.

He swallowed thickly, feeling the slight clench of his heart and without hesitating a single second longer, he made his way over.

The heart monitor’s methodical beating was driving him near insanity. If not that, then certainly the suffocating atmosphere of the hospital and the bandages wrapped tightly around almost every single inch of his body would. Not to mention the occasional undercover paparazzi who would try to inch their way into his ward.

Jaehyun stared up at the white ceilings, still as a plank. Every part of his body hurt to move, he couldn’t even turn his head without feeling a painful pounding in it. Sometimes, he would get dizzy spells so intense he actually felt nauseous. His appetite for food or anything in general had since plummeted. Everything, but racing.

He yearned to go out there onto the tracks, to resume his training. The Roman Prix is coming up in a month’s time and he was so far from ready. He needed to get out of this place as soon as possible, even if it meant jeopardising his own safety. His career mattered more than anything.

Jeongyeon hadn’t called either since the day he got admitted. Jaehyun had soon grown tired of checking his messages or asking his publicist for news from her, the feeling of disappointment felt deep within him. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue wash over him.

There was a gentle knock on the door and as the door creaked slightly open, you poked your head in. Upon seeing him, you smiled softly and made your way over to him. Jaehyun watched you approach, his eyes following you.

You had brought along a basket with you, seemingly full of items. As much as he wanted to know what you’d brought, he tried not to look overeager. “I made you something special today,” you said, settling down and practically vibrating with excitement.

“What?”

“Tomato minestrone soup!” You exclaimed, uncovering the lid as the tantalising aroma of tomatoes and a medley of vegetables drifted in the air. Jaehyun almost had to restrain himself from moving, lest he shift a bone out of place somewhere.

Somehow seeing you had sparked a certain kind of joy in him. Maybe it was a sign nobody had really forgotten about him yet. He had watched his number of visitors trickle down day by day and now that it was close to a month since he’d been hospitalised, after the tragic accident, he barely got any. Perhaps three or four a week if he was lucky.

You, however, you were different. You visited him almost every other day, no matter how busy you were. You visited his bedside even if you were worn out from a long day of work, even when you had things to attend to, even when no one else bothered to. You would bring along snacks whenever you did or homemade get-well food like fish porridge or chicken noodle soup you’d whipped up yourself, though they might be far from the usual gourmet fare he was used to back when he was still active when he would go for exquisite dinner parties. Usually, you stayed for a substantial amount of time and sometimes, you even stayed the night.

Jaehyun didn’t understand why you would do all of this for a friend, a friend who never seemed to have time to spare for you at that. More than anything, the feeling of guilt in him only grew stronger with each visit yet he was grateful, extremely grateful. Your presence was like a warm ray of sunshine in this dreary hospital ward. Whenever you visited, he couldn’t help but smile even though he could not find it in himself to smile. But when it came to you, it felt natural.

“Y/n!”

At the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, you turned and even from afar, he could see your reddened eyes - a surefire sign you’d been crying. Guilt and anger washed over him in waves and he tried not to think how many times he had been the cause of your tears. If only he could turn back time, he would have shook himself for ever dismissing you so lightly like he did, before he saw the situation for what it was.

He was blinded. Blinded by his obsession for winning, fame, glory and pleasing the wrong people. In a way, it felt like a fog had been lifted before him and now that he could see, think, feel clearly… He wasn’t going to let the right person out of his grasp. The person who loved him unconditionally, not just for his fame and achievements. The person who stuck with him through thick and thin but he was just too daft to notice it. The person who always felt like home whether he knew it or not.

You.

“Jaehyun? W-What are you…” You spluttered, desperately trying to wipe your tears from your face as you stared up at him.

It took a couple of seconds for him to regain his breath, his face turning red from embarrassment and exertion. He should really start leaving those beers and junk food alone.

“I…” He panted, both out of fatigue and relief, “We need to talk.”

“Jung is getting closer, any minute now Hendery!”

“I don’t believe this! Are we looking at a potential comeback for this prix? Push, push, push!”

“It seems like we might be! Here he comes! He is absolutely mad!”

The nascars zipped along the race tracks, smoke and some bits of burnt rubber and chipped metal trailing along its wake. They were a blur of colours to the spectators, who were practically glued to their seats as they watched the race reach its climax. A massive telescreen was displaying close ups and the ranking board with huge overhead lights that illuminated the stadium. The crowd was growing wilder by the second as the racecars zoomed past them, their attention fixed on one racer in particular.

The sleek nascar was streaked in royal blue and crimson red over a metallic black base, looking almost purple and black with how fast it was flying across the tracks. The wheels were spinning so fast that the friction between the tough rubber tire and the rough granite almost lit up the tracks. It was charging forward with a steely determination and ruthlessness, closing in rapidly on a green and white nascar ahead of it.

The adrenaline coursing Jaehyun’s veins was unlike any other. The thrill he got from racing could practically send him into an all time high and a cunning grin tugged at his lips as he stepped his foot down hard on the pedal, his hands gripping tightly onto his steering wheel. Rounding around a bend, he clenched his jaw as he pushed his body weight to the left, the muscles in his abdominals and biceps flexing and straining against his racing suit as the car drifted across the tracks in a perfect arc.

“Did you see that perfectly executed drift?! Insanity!”

“Jung is absolutely on fire!”

The thunderous cheers of the crowd and the loud hum of the race cars racing across the tracks faded into the background as he kept his eyes trained steadily forward. Any time now…

“Watch out, Nakamoto,” he whispered under his breath.

Steering his wheel sharply and accelerating much to the crowd’s excitement and trepidation, his race car was now driving side by side along Yuta’s. For a split second, the two turned to look at each other through the window and even though there was no way of seeing the other’s face through that helmet, something in Jaehyun told him that his rival was angered, shocked and… Fearful.

Jaehyun grinned beneath his helmet and without a second thought, he zipped forward, leaving Yuta behind in the smoke.

“He’s going for it, he’s going for it… Wait for it… And he crosses the line! The legend has reclaimed his spot on the top!”

“And that is how you execute one of the greatest comebacks of all time, ladies and gentlemen. Jung has done what we believed to be impossible and dominated the race! I wonder how Nakamoto feels about that?”

The other commentator chuckles into his microphone.

“Well Haechan, if I were him, I’d be pissed off for sure! But I’d also be worried… So very worried.”

The crowd was absolutely wild when he’d disembarked from the car and as he removed his helmet, he was greeted with camera flashes all around him. He shook his head, running a gloved hand over his hair and he took a deep breath. The air smelled of burnt rubber, smoke and… Success.

He had done it. He had made his comeback.

His pit crew made a beeline for him, slapping him on the back, their faces jubilant and lit with pure joy. His new manager, one that he trusted and helped him inch his way back to the top step by step, shot him a thumbs up which he nodded in acknowledgement as the crowd of sports journalists, reporters and photographers began to swarm in on him.

Yet, he paid them no attention. If this was three years ago, he would have basked in the glory, the attention but now he had greater concerns on his mind. His heart was pounding now for a different reason altogether and he could feel his hands growing clammy.

Jaehyun craned his neck and searched the rowdy media crowd. Where were you?

“Jaehyun!”

At your voice, he turned and immediately almost stumbled backwards as you crashed into him for a hug. The feelings of you against him sparked a joy in his heart, a joy almost greater than winning. He enveloped you in a hug, holding your waist as he nuzzled his face into your hair. Your scent of honey and jasmine was intoxicating, alluring and a welcomed change from the smell of smoke and rubble.

The two of you had been dating for about two years now, each day together better than the previous. After he’d caught up with you that day, it was as if you were seeing a different Jaehyun from the one you’d seen in his apartment. That Jaehyun who had caught up with you at the bus stop was the old Jaehyun you’d missed and it was as if a switch somewhere had been flipped. To this day, he had never admitted what changed while you were gone for those few minutes. He had subsequently apologised for everything he’d done, even things you didn’t see a problem with. It was shocking to say the least to see the unapologetic Jaehyun apologise for anything at all, but not more shocking than what entailed a few days later.

It started with a vase of luscious red roses being sent to your workplace followed by an invitation for dinner. Before you knew it, the boy you’d loved almost all your life was courting you with a passion. It felt like a complete dream, so much so you had been afraid to wake up suddenly and realise it was all just your imagination. He’d been more of a romantic than he’d let on and many times, you had found yourself completely smitten by his stunts that stretched from learning how to make homemade chocolates for you on Valentine’s Day knowing that you liked them, even though he was well known as a terrible cook to sending flowers up to your doorstep every other week.

Within a couple of months, the two of you were dating and deeply, wildly in love.

Amidst date nights filled with laughter and kisses, he had also been steadily climbing his way back up the ranks of the racing world. After ditching his unhealthy lifestyle he had been living for the past year, the change was apparent. He’d started hitting the gym, eating healthier and before long, he was in prime condition to start racing again. Training was long and tough but he never did give up. He was more determined and driven than you’d seen him and though the old Jaehyun would have been gutted at a loss, this new, better version of him never fussed over a loss of any kind, instead learning from his mistakes.

All of his efforts had led to this ultimate moment, the taste of victory on his lips.

You noticed he had been shifting uncomfortably and you looked up, puzzled and concerned.

“Jaehyun? You okay?”

He looked at you, his ears red, a sign that he was anxious, nervous.

“Jaehyun? What-”

Your words got stuck in your throat as he knelt down on one knee, the lights overhead bringing out the sparkle in his eyes and the shine in his hair. Those dark orbs were so full of hope, anxiety and love all intermingled in one and you found it difficult to believe that those eyes were looking at you directly, the emotions in them all for you.

Jaehyun withdrew a tiny, velvet box from his pocket and popped it open. In the box, was a tiny diamond ring, glittering and absolutely regal. The diamond itself was beautifully cut and interwoven into the metal band with microfibres of white gold and it simply shone as the camera flashes went off. The crowd was going bonkers, screaming and cheering with wolf whistles.

“Y/n,” he spoke softly, his voice gentle. “You have always been there for me, always been my better half. We have been friends for over a decade and lovers for merely two but it seemed as if we always were meant for each other. It took me so long to realise that and there is not a day I don’t regret not realising it sooner. You are my everything - my past, present and future. Falling in love with you was gradual, unconscious. I guess my heart knew you the one before I even did. It started with me being in a dark, dark place where I drowned in my own self-hatred and insecurities. I was beaten, defeated and I just gave up. Where everyone did the same, you never did. You were like a beam of shining light, shining upon me and guiding me even if I didn’t notice it at the time. But when I did, you glowed even more brightly than I’d envisioned. I’d been oblivious to your beauty both inside and outside for far too long and god knows how much I fucking regret it. I’m different now though, because of you. I am the best version of myself right now because I have you in my life. You taught me how to love, allow myself to be loved. There’s no universe whereby I’d want to be without you. I can’t see myself without you in my life. I need you, I love you.”

Tears were beginning to stream down your face and the stadium had grown quieter, all tuning into what was happening.

Jaehyun looked up at you, hopeful and so full of love that you thought your heart might burst.

“So I guess what I’m saying is, will you marry me, y/n?” He asked breathlessly.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Scarlet’s Milestone Celebration - Build-a-Blurb

My moodboard

Holy cow, I’m not sure how I’ve hit another milestone but I am so, so grateful to every single one of you who follow me. I wanted to do a little game to celebrate and I adored doing the Build-a-Blurbs so I decided to create my own!

Rules - there are several sets of emoji’s under the cut, some SFW and some NSFW. Please only choose one emoji from each set, a maximum of 5 emojis. I will not accept asks with more than 5 or asks with emojis from the same sets (this keeps it more interesting for me to write)

Category is optional but I tend to default to angst with a fluffy ending if none specified.

Side characters are optional but I won’t include more than 2.

I will write the following pairings -

Spencer x Reader (please specify fem! GN! Male! Or I will default to fem)

Ralvez

Ralvez x Reader

Alternatively send me 🎵 for a song fic blurb (please specify song).

Send me emojis here!

Build-a-Blurb Sets Under the Cut!

Category (can be more than one)

💔 angst | ☁️ fluff | 👅smut

SFW Trope Set 1

👾 forced proximity | 💕 soulmate au | 😡 enemies to lovers | 👥 friends to lovers | ❎ fake dating |📱 finding something on their phone you shouldn’t have

SFW Trope Set 2

🤔 amnesia | 🎓college AU |🌲mutual pining | 5️⃣ five times fic | 💀 character death | 👫 friends with benefits

SFW Trope Set 3

💻 online romance | 🔫 hostage situation | ⚠️ love triangle | 📲wrong number |👩‍👦/👨‍👧 single mom / dad |🍺 drunk confessions

SFW Trope Set 4

🧳 break up | 🔒 prison au |🤰 pregnancy | 🥳 office party |🤫 secret relationship | ⁉️unrequited love

SFW Trope Set 5

🤕 tending to each other’s wounds | 🎞 missing scene (please specify a scene) | 🎃Halloween | 📚 student / teacher | 🕑 reunion |🦻 overheard something they shouldn’t

SFW Trope Set 6

🔨 fix it fic (please specify a scene) | 💌 love letter | ⚔️ unsub main character | 💭 dream sequence | 🥸 undercover | ❤️‍🩹 broken heart

NSFW Trope Set 1

😇 innocence kink | 🏕public sex | 😮‍💨 breath play | ☎️ phone sex | 🔭 voyeurism

NSFW Trope Set 2

⛴ Sub! Spencer | 😈Dom! Spencer |🪑 kidnap kink | 😵‍💫 over stim | 🤑 sugar daddy / sugar baby

NSFW Trope Set 3

💦 cum play | 😴 consensual somnophilia | 🫦biting kink | 🔥 fire kink |🩸 blood play

NSFW Trope Set 4

🛀 shower sex | 📹sex tape | 🍆 sex toys |⛓ bondage | 🛌 only one bed

NSFW Trope Set 5

🔪 knife play | 🚗 car sex | 🫣 blindfolds | 🏓 paddling / spanking | ✨ first times

Side Characters (optional, or can be none but no more than 2)

🐕Luke Alvez | 💪🏾Derek Morgan |🦄 Penelope Garcia | 🐈‍⬛ Emily Prentiss |🤦🏻‍♂️ Aaron Hotchner | 👩🏼‍💼 JJ | 🥼Tara Lewis | 📕Alex Blake

[neopuff]

wips

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips. (You can make your own post or reblog this one!)  I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either. Sketch titles? Comics? Dnd campaigns? If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!

tagged by @drewsaturday

lol i have...a lot of fic and video wips. and then not a lot of art wips. i should stick with ones i can actually see myself finishing one day but honestly you just never know what i’m gonna do next. i believe the oldest wip here is from 2006 or 2007

(under a cut ‘cause it got too long)

FICS

Ace Attorney

boat

mayaedgeworth

kmeme prompts

DuckTales

charity auction

scrooge dying

its a little late to be asking for my number

because i’m scrooge mcduck

amnesia goldie

stop calling me

weblena journal fic

amnesia goldie (yes, another one)

misc untitled wips

scroldies first continuation

truth serum

you’re my person

left it in the will

GlomGoldie Outline (collab)

gilt tales (collab)

Fullmetal Alchemist

5 times they were set up and 1 time they weren

after promised day

An undercover assignment

eds wedding

eh

elizabeth

five people

havolina1

roy hawkeye origin

six people

waking up

greeza

kimbliza poto

Generator Rex

holidaywiththeholidays2

(TMNT crossover) bisholiday

Pokémon

alternate

dangerr

decisions decisions

denial

dovey

dp153 meowth

drunk james

james sick

kiss goodbye

luvdisc

mood changer

remember

the single life

ultraball

Teen Titans

warp

terradrabblethingschange

ravenseason4drabble

Raven

Trollhunters

stricklake2

stricklake3

stricklake4

Other

Sym-Bionic Ttian: badimitationilanca

Xiaolin Showdown: jackim

Kaijudo: lobachavez one word prompts

VIDS (not including wip mep parts cuz thats too much)

American Dragon: Jake Long

jakerose 30 otp day 29

jakerose 30 otp day 30

jakerose soulmate

jakerose

Amphibia

anne sprig always gold

BH6

bh6 collab

Bojack Horseman

beatrice believe me

Code Lyoko

aelita sad machine

Danny Phantom

valerie machine

DC/Marvel

dantemala do i wanna know

jlu otps princess of hcina

livmay ophelia

losh thinkin too much

DuckTales

bradheron

della havent met you yet

duck hets piano man

fendra electric love

goldie never enough

ducktales family

scroldie back to you

scroldie hopelessly devoted

scroldie must be the place

scroldie stay

scroldie stubborn love

scroldie too close for comfort

weblena when she sees me

weblena ocean avenue

Ever After High

dappling mama say

Fulmetal Alchemist

royai shake it off

royai the hills

scar feel my heart

Generator Rex

circe scream my name

holix breathe

holix calendar

holix dna

holix idk

holix thousand years

holix violet hilll

rex astronaut in the ocean

rex caesar let my people go

Infinity Train

infinity train lay down in the tall grass

Kids Next Door

knd come back down

nigelabby listen to your heart

Leverage

natesophie i knew you once

parkerhardison someone to you

Miraculous Ladybug

lukanette evergreen

Moomins

groke shes a lady

Motorcity

jukebox suburbs

Multifandom

cartoons pictures of you

eyes blue like the atlantic

id chars little lion man

kainessa dantekamala lvoe by mistake

multicrossover we were sparkling

multiship time after time

rocketshipping jacsee feel my face

wonderwall otps

Non/Disney

heverlyn forget her

heverlyn strange addiction

The Owl House

collector

Psychonauts

psychonauts asylum give us a little love

razlili kiss me more

Riverdale

choni all night

Seis Manos

silencio happiness

SheRa

catra oceans

lightmara when you break

Star Darlings

star darlings lost stars

Steven Universe

pearlnet perfect

spinel bellyache

Tangled

cassunzel into the dark

cassunzel oceans

cassunzel uh

cassunzel

Teen Titans

bbterra halo

robrae forever

robrae jealous

robrae love will tear us apart

robrae so close

robrae soulmates

robterra nightmare

teen titans mashup mep

terra distant shore

tt one day more

TMNT

karai dont wanna be

Total Drama

jacsee empire

jacsee feelings

jacsee oh no

jasammy tear in my heart

Trollhunters

stricklake obsession

stricklake what you do

X-Files

msr s1

msr s2

msr s3

msr s4

msr s5

msr s6

Xiaolin Showdown

jackimiko va va voom

[luvnami]

𝐎𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧 (here) | 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 | 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 | 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 - This is my entry for @jjkmag​ Summer Collab! It’s my first long fic in a while but I had a lot of fun writing this (that isn’t to say I think it’s very good. I hope the plot/finality was pulled off decently ok lol). I hope you enjoy it! I chose the prompt 'coming of age', though there are definitely scenes where the other prompts were present as well. Reblogs, comments, shares and likes are really appreciated!!

𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐚 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬 - @getousuguruwife​ @amjustagirl​ @aliteama​

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 - Amnesia, Memory loss, Blood, Mild gore, Death, Blood loss, Bullying, Mild Racism (only in the first part), Corpses, Food, Manga spoilers, Pre-canon and canon compliant to a certain extent, Nightmares

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - Nanami Kento's life has been... Good, bad, and everything in between. He (and many others) thinks he's mature, independent, the definition of what a proper adult should be like. But really, the only way he's made it this far is because you've been holding his hand the entire time.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 - 6.4k

The first memory Nanami has of you sits in a blurry haze at the back of his mind.

You’re probably four or five years old at best, squatting by a puddle in the empty kindergarten playground. Nanami wonders what made him waddle over to you that warm afternoon.

His shoes, scribbled with ugly caricatures in marker, carry him to the other side of the puddle. A shadow cast by a plastic slide slices your features neatly in half like a Greek theatre mask. Nanami doesn’t speak a word to you as he stares at your chubby fingers that push a fallen leaf around in the water as the surface ripples silently.

You look up at Nanami. He’s an odd child, excluded by the other kindergarteners because of how quiet and strange he is. Nanami’s blond hair is abnormal to the immature local Japanese children. They knee the back of his legs while calling him names like ‘banana-gaijin!’ and making fun of his fancy leather shoes.

“Do you wanna play with me?”

Nanami wonders if the words you speak to him are from your heart or something constructed from a plan to bully him again.

“My mama taught me how to make boats with leaves. See?” You point to the puddle. “We can race them.”

Nanami carefully selects a leaf off of the playground’s floor. It’s still green, freshly fallen from its branch. You grin toothily, your eyes sparkling.

“That’s a perfect leaf!” you declare.

Nanami thinks he wants to play with you forever.

He follows you around in school like a lost puppy after that, clutching his hands nervously when you stand up to the children who bully him. Nanami wonders if you’ll ever turn your back on him. He arrives earlier than you every morning and hurriedly scrubs at your table with his handkerchief to get rid of nasty words and obscene drawings, heart thumping against his cotton polo. When his mother asks him why his new handkerchief is so dirty, he remains silent and grips the hem of his shirt tightly.

Children are children; Nanami learns. Afraid of abnormalities, they defend their right to innocence and ego with harsh words and various schemes. He learns to ignore the whispers behind his back. What he can’t disregard, though, is when they lash out at you.

They jeer when you trip during P.E. classes and bump into you on purpose when you carry your lunch tray. You pretend that it doesn’t hurt when Nanami holds your hand gently and leads you to the nurse’s office with scraped knees, hiccuping and swiping at your eyes roughly.

He wonders why you don’t take the easy way out and just stop being friends with him. What’s wrong with you? You hold him tightly, a bundle of thorns, in your soft hands and pretend that you’re not bleeding.

“Ken-chan?” you sniffle.

He turns.

“You’re my best friend, right?”

Nanami gulps. He doesn’t question why you cry on graduation day, bidding your final farewell to him with vague promises of meeting in the same elementary school. Something in his chest doesn’t sit right; the kind of feeling when his mother threw out his old stuffed toys after she deemed him too old for them anymore.

He watches you grow smaller and smaller in the rear window of his family car till you’re the size of an ant, his knees digging into the leather seats.

“Sit down, Kento,” his father chides.

Nanami ignores him. He watches you wave your hand in the air as the car turns around the corner and lurches into the seat.

☆*: .｡.

Nanami’s genuinely surprised when he finds out that his assigned seat is right next to you on the first day of elementary school. You’re no different, mouth wide open in an ‘o’ as you stare at him.“Ken-chan!”

You almost yell, and Nanami shushes you as his face heats up. He finds out that your mothers had conspired to put the both of you into the same school. He can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing just yet, but peace settles into his chest the same way the wings of a bird return to its sides after flight when you giggle at his flustered expression.

Through nine years of elementary and junior high school together, Nanami learns that you always arrange the tips of your pencils to face the right side of your pencil box, and you keep the torn bits of movie tickets shoved into your bedside drawer. You find that Nanami has a knack for dry humour — he’s blunt at every moment possible (which caused much distress after he talked back to a teacher that one time) and can usually be bribed for any favour as long as you pay him in food.

What the both of you find oddly shocking, though, is that no one else can see the creatures that swim through walls and perch in dark corners of the school.

They make you sweat whenever they get too close, bulbous eyes and strange bodies twisting in ways that shouldn’t be physically possible. Sometimes they make noises, whispering or coaxing or shrieking or crying in broken sentences.

Nanami learns to treat them as background noise. You, on the other hand, find that a little more complicated. Sometimes you latch onto him when one brushes against your arm, squeaking and swatting at them in an attempt to chase them away.

“They’re so gross!” you’d whine, pressing yourself even closer to Nanami. “Did you see that one in the gym yesterday? It had tentacles!”

In cases like this, the blond clears his throat and ignores you, averting his gaze. He doesn’t admit to anyone, not even himself, that the warmth of your skin through your uniform makes his heart skip a beat. You’ve grown so close to him that you even know that Nanami sleeps with Doraemon pajamas (absolutely, abhorrently embarrassing. He made his mother throw them out the night after you came over for a sleepover). It was inevitable for him to develop feelings.

Nanami shoves his feelings below a lid and sits on top of it, keeping them under lock and key. He’s sure this is just something to do with puppy love or ‘infatuations’ that are underlined in the puberty print-outs the school distributed, alongside scientific diagrams of genitals that the boys in his class giggle at.

Being friends is enough. Or so he thinks, anyway.

☆*: .｡.

It’s a Friday evening when the sky is dark, and street lights flicker in the distance. Nanami munches away on melon bread from a convenience store while you sip on a carton of juice. Your clubs had ended late today, so the sun was down by the time you left school.

“How’s the bread?” you ask, slurping up the last drops of your drink.

Nanami chews and swallows while you dab at your mouth with a yellow cotton handkerchief.

“It’s okay. Not as good as a bakery’s, though. Kinda stale.”

He crumples the plastic packaging in his hand and sticks it into his pocket, planning to dispose of it later. The both of you round the corner to the bus stop, and your feet fall still. A large curse sits in the middle of the road.

Numerous cars are crumpled like drink cans, smoke, and gasoline leaking onto the streets. There’s blood. Too much blood, in fact, that they seem like puddles of rain on the dark tarmac. Your juice box drops from your hand.

The curse turns to you, its teeth split vertically down the centre of what constitutes a face. Multiple eyes run down the length of its engorged body where various hands and feet stick out at random parts.

“Blood… Blood…” it moans in a cryptic voice.

Nanami stands with his feet frozen to the ground, eyes wide in horror. His knuckles turn white as he grips his school bag. Run, run, run! He screams internally, but his limbs don’t listen to him. The curse slides over the road towards him, slipping through the blood easily.

“Give me… Your blood…”

A part of the curse’s body bubbles up into a large hand. It swings itself back before throwing its newly created appendage towards Nanami. RUN RUN RUN! His legs don’t move. He squeezes his eyes shut, awaiting the impact. Except that it doesn’t hit him. Nothing hurts, except the shrill scream that pierces his ears. Nanami’s eyes snap open in horror. 

“Kento!” you yell, dangling upside down as the curse pulls you towards its mouth.

Your school bag lays on the ground below, books scattered as their pages turn red.  

“Run!”

Nanami drops everything as he scrambles towards you, tripping over his own two feet and landing face-first in the blood. His hands and knees sting. He shoves himself and gets up with his teeth clenched. You kick your feet in the air in a poor attempt to escape the curse’s grip but to no avail. Another groan is squeezed out of you as the curse opens its mouth, the foul stench of rotting bodies engulfing you.

“Run, Kento!” you plead.

How can he turn his back on you? Sweat drips down his forehead as Nanami pulls his hand back. The adrenaline that rushes through his blood clears in a split-second moment of raw emotion; anger, disappointment, confusion, sadness. A tingling sort of energy floods his body, and Nanami takes a sharp breath of air. He sees something like a ruler — a line divided equally with ten markings, the seventh one crossed out. His fist connects with it.

The curse lets out a weak moan of pain, shaking you around as it recoils from Nanami’s hit. It’s not much, just a surface injury at most. Nanami’s limbs tremble with exertion. One more time, again and again, until you’re safe-

A thick, gross liquid engulfs Nanami as the curse explodes in front of his very eyes. He coughs, running a slimy hand over his face. It smells like death.

“Woah! You put too much into that again, Satoru.” 

“Shut up!”

Nanami looks up as he hears footsteps move towards him, the quiet splashing of blood beneath shoes.

“Ugh, this place is so gross.”

“You okay there, kiddo?”

Nanami looks up to find a male with his hair pulled back into a bun staring at him. Behind him is a white-haired teenager with sunglasses (strange, hasn’t the sun already gone down?) and an imposing-looking man.

Where are you?

Nanami glances around frantically amidst the dead bodies that lie on the ground. Not you, not you, not- A tiny sliver of hope slips into his heart when he spots your uniform, and he stumbles over.

“Woah! Slow down!”

He calls out your name, slipping and collapsing onto his knees. Your eyes are closed, and a wound on your head oozes blood. A young girl with short hair reaches out to touch you, but Nanami pulls you into his chest, his eyes wide.

“Don’t,” he whispers.

His head spins. Are these good people? How did they just destroy that big monster? He hadn’t even seen them coming. Were they going to hurt you?

“Calm down, man! We’re good guys.”

“No one’s going to trust you when you say that, Satoru.”

The girl stares at Nanami.

“I’ll take care of your injuries. Can you let me see them, please?”

He relaxes. His grip on you loosens, and the girl feels for your pulse, nodding in affirmation.

“Alive.”

Nanami breathes a sigh of relief. At this realisation, his body begins to tremble like a leaf in the wind. He digs his nails into his palms but still they quiver. His heart pounds in his chest and he struggles to take a deep breath, exhaustion overtaking him.

“Hey, you okay?”

His eyes fall shut. 

☆*: .｡.

Nanami finds out over a hot cup of tea that those monsters are called curses, and not everyone can see them.

“Lucky you!” Gojo chimes in.

Lucky? His face wrinkles in despair and Getou laughs so loud at his reaction that he has to step out of the room.

Nanami had sustained minor injuries — nothing beyond a few scrapes and some trauma. You were fine for the most part. After hitting your head on the ground, you remained unconscious for a few more days after Nanami had woken up. You were covered in a few bruises, but otherwise alright. 

Nanami was infinitely thankful for that

Yaga tells him that he has enough aptitude to become a full-fledged sorcerer. The school he teaches at is called Jujutsu High and is located on the outskirts of Tokyo. Since he’s in his final year of junior high, why not give it a thought if he wants to join them? Nanami holds Yaga’s name card numbly.

He looks up at Yaga, only one objective clear in his mind. He doesn’t want to see you hurt any longer.

“Will you teach me how to exorcise curses?” he asks.

Gojo laughs outrightly and Geto snorts. Yaga gives him a confident smile, clapping Nanami on the shoulder (he doesn’t quite like that, but he overlooks it for now).

“You can count on that.”

☆*: .｡.

Nanami’s a little apprehensive about entering Jujutsu High, especially when you decide to enrol as well. Given the ability to see curses, you were adamant about learning to help others with this ability you were gifted with. He relented and sulked for the rest of the day until you gave him a cup of pudding.

The first day Nanami and you enter Jujutsu Tech, you meet a wide-eyed boy named Haibara Yu. He’s overly optimistic and passionate — precisely the kind of person that Nanami tires of interacting with. In fact, the very first thing Haibara says upon meeting the both of you irritates him.

“Woah! Blondie, are you from an emo band or something? Your hair really matches the vibe!” Haibara had gasped.

You struggled to suppress your giggles, biting on your lower lip as you turned to the side. Nanami, on the other hand, didn’t find it quite as funny.

“No, I’m not. Nice to meet you too,” he replied monotonously.

It takes all of the following month for Nanami to get used to Haibara’s eccentricities. He always does his best during training, mingles enthusiastically with the upperclassmen and chows down on at least two bowls of rice during break time. The most annoying part about him is how Haibara seems to get along so well with you.

You laugh too loudly for Nanami’s liking at his jokes, squeeze in between Haibara and him (brushing shoulders with the both of them! Seriously!) when they’re standing together just to listen in on Haibara’s monologuing, and sometimes even end up sparring with him instead of Nanami.

The blond curses that there is an odd number of first years and peers in the mirror after his shower as he wonders what he would look like with a black bowl cut. He even tries to finish more than one serving of ginger pork on one particular day and gets sent to the school nurse for a tummy ache.

Though, the three of you have chemistry that works out when fighting curses. Nanami is the primary damage dealer of the group, while you learn how to provide support with Haibara and create openings for Nanami to attack. So on your first ‘real group mission’ assigned to you by Yaga, you can’t help but set off with overflowing excitement.

It isn’t often that you have the opportunity to step outside of Jujutsu High on your own without supervision. Even on weekends, you’re usually expected to train or study. The sun shines warmly down upon the streets of Asakusa, and tourists and locals alike swarm the city area.

“Hey! We should totally give Sensou-ji Temple a visit later!” Haibara suggests, pumping his fist in the air.

“We’re not here to sightsee,” Nanami sighs.

“That’s what you said the last time we went to Okinawa, and guess what, Nanamin! We didn’t even get to try their sushi!”

“Yeah, and you forgot to bring back souvenirs for me, Ken-chan,” you chime in.

“I told you to stop adding -chan to my name.” 

“Why not? Doesn’t it sound cute?” 

“Mhm!”

Haibara nods furiously. Nanami ignores the both of you with a sigh. He slings a bag containing his sword over his shoulder once more as the crowd barely makes space for you to move through.

“We can’t take too long,” he relents.

The cheers and high-fives that you and Haibara give each other make a vein bulge on Nanami’s temple. He tries not to read too much into the way you immediately begin discussing what places to visit and eat at with Haibara — didn’t you care for his opinion? He shakes his head and increases his pace, leaving the both of you behind.

Nanami ignores the cries of ‘Ken-chan!’ and ‘Nanamin!’ that ring out through the crowd. Whatever. If you want to be with Haibara, then Nanami will gladly get out of the way for you. He drags his feet on the pavement and settles for a cup of iced tea in a nearby cafe gloomily.

What Nanami is doing is… childish. He knows, at the very least, that he should be happy the both of you have met a nice new friend. But he can’t help the jealousy that rises in his chest like smoke in a chimney when he sees you cling onto Haibara the same way you used to do to him.

Was Haibara nicer, more good-looking, stronger, funnier, gentler, better than every single trait in Nanami combined? You no longer ask Nanami how he slept the previous night, instead running over to Haibara and greeting him cheerily. Forget about how you used to come over to Nanami’s house to study after school — you and Haibara disappear to who knows where after training everyday.

He bites down on his straw. The bitter taste of a lemon seed fills his mouth and Nanami spits it out onto a napkin with more force than necessary. He takes a deep breath. He should make things clear to you, then, and let you know how he feels about you. To him, it sounds a little like love.

Nanami’s face flushes with embarrassment. Love is… Love isn’t this. It definitely isn’t getting jealous over your relationships with other people, nor is it forcing you to accept his feelings out of spite. He finishes the last bit of his iced tea, the straw making a gurgling noise as it fails to suck up any more liquid. He leaves his money by the counter and walks back outside, returning his heart back to its safe, clicking the lock shut once more. His shoulders sag as he lets out a pent-up sigh.

Nanami squints at his phone. The golden sunlight makes it difficult to read his messages, but he manages to pick out four missed calls from you and a hundred text messages from Haibara. His blood runs cold when he scrolls to the last text that he received.

Haibara Yu, 4.25p.m.:  curse help 6 cho

It’s currently 4.35p.m. 6-chome is a 15 minutes walk away, five minutes if he sprints fast enough. Nanami hopes that you’re okay, that Haibara has enough sense to call for other back-up or avoid the curse.

Nanami’s feet pound under him as he shoves his way through the crowds, earning distasteful looks and swears. He doesn’t care. Not when you and Haibara are facing a possible grade 2 curse alone, and not when it’s because of Nanami’s irresponsibility and useless emotions that had caused the three of you to be separated.

His breath comes quick and hard and his thighs burn, screaming for relief. He makes a sharp turn and almost crashes into a bicycle.

“Watch where you’re going!” an angry housewife yells, but her words fall on deaf ears.

Just a little more, he begs.

Nanami hears the fighting before he sees it. The sound of metal meeting metal and the roar of the curse sound uncharacteristically comforting to him as he draws his sword, racing to bear a fighting stance.

But he’s too late.

“Yu!” you cry out as Haibara crumples onto the ground.

His eyes meet Nanami’s. His uniform is tattered, face bearing wounds and his right arm is bent at an unnatural shape, almost like a knotted tree branch. You seem relatively unhurt, although your breathing is laboured.

“Kento,” Haibara wheezes.

Nanami’s feet don’t move. His chest heaves, perspiration pouring down his face and drenching his uniform. The grip on his sword slips ever so slightly. The curse stands at the end of a ruined district. You aren’t trained to fight in such close quarters, or reduce the number of casualties to a bare minimum. 

And Nanami hadn’t been here to provide damage to exorcise it.

“Who are you? Another small fry?” the curse scoffs.

It takes the body of a geisha, dressed in luxurious robes that whip about in the air. Consciousness? This isn’t a grade 2 by any means — it’s a special grade curse. The will to fight slips out of Nanami like water from a cup, trickling from the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

“Haibara!” Nanami shouts.

The male gives Nanami one last smile from where he is.

“You’ve got it from here,” he whispers, lips barely moving.

The geisha stretches out its hand, a portion of its obi moving along with it. You and Nanami watch in horror as Haibara’s head is neatly decapitated from his body. His blood drips off of the ends of the robes as the curse cackles, his head rolling to a stop as his half-closed eyes stare up at Nanami like a dead fish’s.

“You think you can beat me? Look at your little friend!”

Fury rushes into Nanami like a wave meeting the shore.

“You’ll die here by my hands!” the curse roars.

You take a step back as the geisha prepares to launch another attack, silk sashes drawn back into the sky before they plunge back at you two in an aerial attack. Nanami leaps through the attacks as his body moves faster than he can process it.

You, on the other hand, create a shield out of cursed energy to try and deflect the attacks. At the very least, Haibara deserves a proper burial. There isn’t time for mourning now, and you have to wipe away the tears that pool in your eyes. You try to ignore the way his head rolls closer to your foot and bumps against it gently.

Nanami lets out a yell of anger. His cursed energy swells as he cuts his way through the sashes, movement based on momentum than anything else at this point. His mind is clouded with regret and frustration. Nanami channels his anger into his sword, the ten destined lines appearing before his eyes once more.

The curse lets out a cry of pain as it stumbles back, sashes redrawn as it tries to gauge its wounds. Blood gushes from a slash on its side and Nanami darts forward again — again, again, again, until its dead. His legs, however, are weaker than what he thinks they can bear. Nanami stumbles in his step.

“Ken!” you shout.

The curse grins. It takes little to no time to regenerate, skin overlapping raw flesh as it gets back onto its feet.

“You’re weak,” it taunts. “First your friend, now you. I’ll be sure to savour the last one as well!”

Nanami struggles to get back onto his feet. He gasps, heart ripping a hole through his chest. He’s so exhausted; so worn out, that his arms refuse to raise his sword above chest height. He curses.

You run over to Nanami, grabbing his uniform and dragging him back. The curse starts to chant ominously. Its face turns dark, taking steps that sway its body with thick, lacquered geta. You shove Nanami back as you’re engulfed by its domain, swallowed up by darkness and spit into a tatami room. He barely has time to call your name before you disappear.

“Shit!”

Nanami stumbles back onto his feet, but sinks down onto his knees again. His shoulders quake as he tries to suck in breaths of air, but his throat is too dry. He coughs and adjusts his grip on his sword. Shit, shit, shit. All of his partners tossed themselves at death as if it was an idle thing just to protect him. What was Nanami doing? He would never become a sorcerer like this, never be able to protect you.

He grits his teeth. He’ll never be enough.

Nanami picks up his sword, wrapping his fingers around its hilt one more time. He dashes towards the domain, tasting iron as he hacks and slashes at it. Again, again, and again. His hands turn numb and his cursed energy flickers like a candle’s flame, but there’s one thing Nanami’s insistent on — getting you out of there.

The domain finally collapses as Nanami finally steadies himself on his feet. You roll to the ground, breath shallow. Your uniform is sliced up in different areas and a pool of blood begins to spread where your head meets the floor.

“Ken…?” you whisper.

Nanami smells it — the scent of death. Why did he ever choose to become a sorcerer over an ordinary high school life? He wouldn’t have dragged you into this mess, caused you to be hurt time and time again. Nanami calls out your name tentatively. You don’t respond.

The curse roars with laughter as your eyes fall shut, “Don’t you see how I’m so strong? You’re nothing compared to me-”

Nanami sees red. He launches himself forward, brandishing his sword even if it’s for the last time.

He doesn’t remember what happens afterwards.

Nanami sinks into a pool of blood, head spinning with exertion. Your body lays to his left, Haibara’s head to his right. He collapses to the ground.

☆*: .｡.

When he comes to, Nanami’s eyes struggle to adjust to the white light that floods the room. It smells vaguely like antiseptic. He slowly sits up, body aching with exhaustion with telltale bandages wrapped around most of his exposed limbs.

A drawn curtain separates his bed from the rest of the room, which he assumes to be Jujutsu Tech’s sickbay. He runs a hand over his face and lies back down, letting sleep take him by the hand and lead him a step further from reality.

Nanami wakes up a second time when Shouko returns to the room. He stares at her, blinking once, then twice.

“Nanami?” she asks softly. “Can you hear me?”

He tries to reply, but his throat is parched. He ends up coughing, wrinkling his face as pain spreads through his ribs. Shouko rushes to get him a glass of water and calls the rest (namely Yaga and Gojo) over. Nanami nurses the glass as Yaga takes a seat by his bed.

There are no questions, only condolences and murmured explanations of what had happened. The only thing Nanami picks up is that you’re alive. That’s more than enough for him to relax, nodding dumbly along to Yaga’s words.

The curse had been on the brink of death when Nanami collapsed. However, he had put up enough of a fight for nearby sorcerers to come to his aid and finish it off. There was no doubt about it — it was a special grade curse. Yaga apologises for the miscommunication and loss of Haibara’s life. Nanami doesn’t reply.

No amount of apologies could turn back time and bring Haibara back.

It takes him a few more days before Nanami’s able to hobble around the school, aided by crutches. Gojo pokes fun at how he seems like a grandpa but even his jokes don’t bear the mean edge they usually do. Getou leaves a can of vending machine coffee by his bedside table and Shouko brings him some wildflowers. Nanami leaves the plush cat Yaga had made for him untouched.

Nanami struggles against the nightmares that plague him. In one Haibara cradles his decapitated head in his own arms, asking Nanami why he hadn’t saved his life; in another you die, guts spilling onto the streets with your eyes bulging from your skull. Nanami wakes up in cold sweat. He calms his breathing alone and doesn’t sleep a single wink.

It’s a rainy day when Shouko lets him enter the morgue. Haibara’s body is laid in a shroud of white, his head positioned to appear attached. Had he ever been so pale? Nanami’s fingers grip his crutches, gritting his teeth.

How long his eyelashes had been! A small scar runs down his left temple (“After my sister shoved me in the playground!” Haibara had chirped), and his bangs remain as perfectly cut as they had been when he died. Nanami half expects him to sit up, to grin and laugh at his twisted face.

“Why’re you so stiff, Nanami? It’s just a joke!” 

Justajokejustajokejustajoke.

A chasm opens up in Nanami’s stomach. His crutches clatter to the floor as he races out of the morgue, stumbling when pain shoots up his right leg. He retches dryly and tears pool in his eyes. Shouko silently covers Haibara and closes the door, Nanami’s tears falling alongside the pouring rain.

That night in his dreams, Haibara slices Nanami’s head off. He wakes up with his heart racing and tears slipping down his cheeks.

Nanami visits you the next day. He had been reluctant to do so — what if you blamed him for everything, for Haibara’s death and your injuries? He wouldn’t be able to bear it, to be hated by you. His hand hovers over your dorm doorknob, hesitating. Nanami takes a deep breath as he swallows his anxiety and opens the door.

It’s as if nothing had ever happened.

You sit on your bed, neatly tucked under the covers with a book sitting on your lap. Warm sunshine pours through the open windows and the penguin plush Nanami had won for you at a festival still sits by your desk. You look up when he walks in.

Nanami calls out your name. You stare at him.

“Sorry, but… Who are you?” you ask quietly, a sense of confusion lacing your words.

He stops by the door and Nanami’s heart sinks to his feet.

“I’m Kento. Nanami Kento,” he repeats, words tasting like ash in his mouth.

Checkered curtains flutter in the wind and the pages of your book butterfly open to an unread chapter. You keep your eyes focused on Nanami, eyebrows slightly furrowed in confusion.

“I don’t know anyone by that name,” you reply.

☆*: .｡.

A toxic mix of trauma and a severe head injury had caused your amnesia. Nanami lays in bed at night, staring up at the ceiling. If only he hadn’t let his emotions overtake him, if only he had been there a minute earlier, if only if only if only. Regret dulls his sense of taste and emotions. He no longer takes joy in eating anything (even those croissants Getou had bought while out on a mission), nor does he even crack a smile at Gojo’s antics.

Nanami returns to training once he is physically well again. He becomes the only first-year to attend Yaga’s classes, sparring practice conducted with the second years. He goes out on missions alone and learns to provide both defense and offense for himself. Nanami trains, he exercises curses, he returns to school. He repeats this same cycle mindlessly over and over again. 

Time heals, they say. Nanami wonders how much time it must take for him to let go of everything.

Nanami learns to hide his disappointment. His face becomes a strong facade for whatever his weak heart truly feels. The quiet sigh he lets out when no one’s around, the stretching of his neck after yet another fruitless day of training — Nanami decides that he’ll leave the world of sorcery once he’s graduated.

Seasons change and Nanami becomes a second year, then a third year. Getou falls away. The seniors graduate and new freshmen enter the school. Nanami keeps these things in the back of his mind as he raises his sword for a countless time, striking the training doll with ease.

You work with Shouko in the infirmary, occasionally helping out with office work. The school had deemed it better to keep you under their care than to release you outside. Like a rehabilitated animal, Nanami thinks.

You still remember no memories of him. Nanami brings you sweets and souvenirs from his missions, letting you trace your fingers over the fancy packaging with a sparkle in your eye. At this, Nanami swallows back his confession of love once more. He can’t bear to burden you with his feelings.

You form new impressions of him. Nanami turns into the stone-faced and adorable boy who treats you like fine China, always sticking his hands out awkwardly when he tries to give you something. The tips of his ears burn red when he lies — especially when you ask him, “Nanami, did you buy this for me?” and he shakes his head furiously.

You think he’s kind. He comforts you when you cry over lost memories, unable to remember the faces in photographs that had once been so familiar. The first thing Nanami does after returning from a mission is to rush to you. Were you okay? Did you have your meals? One time, he came over without getting his injuries checked and collapsed by your feet. You scolded him after that, tenderly dressing his wounds.

“Nanami!” you said crossly, a pout on your face.

He tries to forget how he had asked you to stop calling him ‘Ken-chan’. He ducks his head, hissing when you douse his skin in antiseptic.

Some things don’t change, though. You still keep your pencil box immaculately neat — the tips of your stationery always pointing to the right side. Though you don’t have any more movie ticket stubs, you carefully clip the pictures of your childhood Nanami had given to you together and keep them under your pillow. 

One day, you munch on a yummy biscuit Nanami brought back for you. He sits on the floor and polishes his sword, peering at it from every angle to make sure it’s evenly oiled.

“Nanami?” 

He hums.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like you’re from an emo boy band? Your hair matches it.” 

Your shy laugh rings out in the room as bile rises in Nanami’s throat. He sheathes his sword and lays it on the ground.  

“Yes, they have.”

He struggles to smile, his gut twisting.

☆*: .｡.

On graduation day, no one else but Nanami receives his certificate with a flower corsage pinned to his chest. The room is empty save for him and Yaga, the chirping of spring birds breaking the silence.

“I’m glad to have been able to teach you, Nanami,” Yaga broods. “You’ve grown a lot.”

Nanami does not reply. He bows deeply and strides out of the main building. All of a sudden, the traditional architecture and nature that surround Jujutsu High seems stifling. His skin crawls with the urge to leave as soon as possible. 

“Nanamin!”

He jumps. Turning around, he finds you grinning happily with a bouquet of flowers in hand.

“Congratulations on your graduation!” you chirp.

Nanami accepts the flowers awkwardly and rests them in the crook of his elbow, his other hand clutching his certificate. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves of nearby trees and a wave of sakura petals descend from their branches like rain.

“Nanamin,” your voice grows softer. “Are you leaving forever?”

He swallows, then nods wordlessly.

“Will I ever see you again?”

“I wanna be with you forever, Ken-chan!” you wailed.

“Forever’s a long time,” Nanami replied.  

He handed you his yellow cotton handkerchief, face wrinkling when you honked your nose into it. Gross. His neck hurt from sticking it out of the car window. He can hear his father tapping a finger onto the wheel impatiently, his mother silent as she stares out the front.

“B-but!” 

Your bottom lip quivered and Nanami let out a sigh.

“Fine, fine. I’ll be with you, okay?”

“Really, Ken-chan? Forever?”

“Yeah, really. Forever.”

You grinned in the waning sunlight as your mother tugged you away.

“I’ll never forget you, Ken-chan!” you shouted.

The car window rolled up and he watched you disappear into the horizon, turning as tiny as an ant.  

Nanami swallows his heart into the pit of his stomach.

“Probably.” 

“That’s not a definitive answer, Nanamin.”

“What do you want me to tell you, then?”

There’s a slight tremble in his voice. The plastic wrapping of the flowers crinkle under his grip and waves of emotions rush over him; the biggest out of all of them regret. He struggles to breathe underwater, keeping his eyes squeezed shut and nose plugged up. A sakura petal lands on his shoulder. He doesn’t bother brushing it away. 

“Say,” you whisper, taking a step to close the distance between Nanami and you.

He gulps as you place a hand upon his chest. He can feel the heat of your skin through his uniform and Nanami’s too dumbstruck to respond.

“Why don’t you give me your second button?”

Your eyes meet his. A smile toys with the corners of his lips and suddenly Nanami blurts out a nervous “Okay.”. His mind flickers back to Haibara momentarily; how you had appeared to like him so much back then. But he chooses to shove those memories into the back of his mind once more as you produce a small pair of scissors and snip the thread.

“You always take care of me, Nanamin. It was natural of me to fall in love with you,” you breathe, cradling the swirl patterned button in your hands.

A gust of cool air slips into his unbuttoned shirt and Nanami’s breath hitches.  

“Do you like me too?”

Your question is innocent. With the way you peer up at him, there’s no way that Nanami can lie. Your glittery eyes were the same ones he had fallen in love with all those years ago. He wonders if he still loves you in the same way as he did then; as faultless and innocent it had been. His heart sits on the tip of his tongue.

“Yeah, I do.”

Your eyes crinkle at the edges as you smile, an evident sigh of relief escaping your lips. You slip the button into your pocket before tugging Nanami even closer towards you. He yelps as your chest presses against his and the tips of his ears turn red.

You plant your lips by the side of his.

[ihathbenobiwankenobied]

Star Wars Masterlist: Clone Wars and Prequels

Hi there! If you don’t know me, I’m Vera! I plan on updating this list as I post fics; the date should be updated below when I do! I am so happy to be able to write these fics and share them with everyone here on Tumblr and ao3 and I am beyond grateful for all of the love I receive in return. Happy reading!

Started: October 31, 2021

Updated: November 9, 2021

Number of Complete Pieces: 29

Number of WIPs: 10 - One current 11/22

CODYWAN / CODY & OBI-WAN (FINISHED STORIES) - General note: all of these are under 7,000 words

...That Kenobi Likes Baths: Cody finds out that Obi-Wan likes baths.

Broken Soldiers: Anakin pretends he doesn't notice Cody and Obi-Wan taking solace in one another.

Pick Up the Pieces: Obi-Wan Kenobi is an idiot. Cody has to be his caretaker. Also, Obi-Wan gets hit in the head. 

...That Obi-Wan is Allergic to Caf: Cody finds out that Obi-Wan is allergic to caf.

...That Obi-Wan has Chronic Pain: Cody finds out that Obi-Wan is experiencing Chronic back pain.

...That Obi-Wan is Terrible at Baking: Cody finds out that Obi-Wan is terrible at baking.

Healing: After Zygerria, Obi-Wan goes silent.

It’s Cold Outside: A mission on Vandor leaves Obi-Wan cold. Cody helps.

Taking Care of You: Obi-Wan is ill and Cody runs him a bath.

Mesmerizing: Cody is taken by Obi-Wan’s new look post Rako Hardeen. 

All Disgustingly in Love: Anakin sees something he didn't want to see while trying to visit Obi-Wan in the Medbay.

I Need You to Stay: Cody supports Obi-Wan when he has a panic attack.

Tension: Cody and Obi-Wan are mutually pining for each other, until they're not.

The Beginning to My End: Moments from Cody's life where Obi-Wan reassures him that he is more than a clone.

Broken: Obi-Wan comes to Cody with a severely broken arm. 

Between Us: Obi-Wan had subtly asked Cody to ignore his bruises.

Seeing Red: Anakin returns a drunk and bloody Obi-Wan to Cody at two in the morning. Cody is not happy.

Fractured: Obi-Wan's ribs are fractured... and maybe his spirit is too.

Chocolate: Obi-Wan, Cody, chocolate, and maybe some kissing too.

Through the Bitterness: There was nothing Anakin could do besides find someone else who could do something.

Just Breathe: Obi-Wan has a panic attack. Everything will be fine if Cody is there.

Scars: Cody notices Obi-Wan’s scars when they share quarters.

Protection: Cody is injured while protecting Obi-Wan.

It Will Always be You, Cody: Cody compares himself to Satine. 

Kiss it Better: Obi-Wan is high on painkillers.

Huddle: Cody warms up his General.

Dancing Around Again: Cody and Obi-Wan dance in the kitchen.

Cody Needs a Hug: Cody thinks he is worthless.

CODYWAN / CODY & OBI-WAN WIPS

The Epic Highs and Lows of Surviving a Snowstorm in an Abandoned Cabin: WIP (CURRENT PROJECT as of 11/22 on chapter 2/3) Cody and Obi-Wan get stuck in an abandoned cabin on Hoth after a snowstorm crashes their ship.

The Continuation: WIP (will likely continue @ later date) Suddenly, Obi-Wan sees a resurgence in seizures.

I Won’t Rest ‘Til You Do: WIP (I work on this when I have inspiration; all parts can be read as separate stories)  Five times Cody puts Obi-Wan to bed and one time he doesn't have to.

Rewritten: WIP (Will finish eventually but not urgent) When a crash landing leaves both Obi-Wan and Cody with severe head injuries, Anakin uses their temporary amnesia to his advantage: he's tells them that they were boyfriends. Just like that, Obi-Wan and Cody's story is rewritten.

Different Colors: WIP (requires extreme planning; will continue later) Cody, a local ex-military medic and grocery store owner discovers a pair of mysterious brothers living in his hometown. Maybe he falls in love. Maybe, for once, he doesn't mind.

Landing at Point Pain (See What I Did There?): WIP (working on currently) A version of Landing at Point Rain where Obi-Wan is realistically injured and Cody helps to mend him.

I Couldn’t Care More: WIP (Working on currently) Moral of the story: Cody cares too much about his General. A mission gone wrong leaves Obi-Wan sick and injured; Cody just wants to help.

The Nightmare: WIP (probably will not write part two) Obi-Wan is sick and feverish. When Obi-Wan, delirious, leaves his room in the night, Cody tries to find him.

OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN (AND SOMETIMES AHSOKA)

Curfew: Anakin comes home past his curfew and discovers an ill Obi-Wan.

The Fallen Jedi: Technically a WIP (but the ending as of right now does not leave you hanging I swear)  Ahsoka's failure to follow orders on a diplomatic mission in Naboo leaves Anakin with a number of injuries. A worried Obi-Wan comes to collect his ailing Padawan.

Tears of a Jedi: WIP (probably not going to finish) Anakin wakes up confused on an ice planet and finds that Obi-Wan is in bad condition.

[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt.11]

Pairings:  Bucky x  Reader

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death. **Smut.** 18+ please and thanks.

A/N:  It’s  here! Just a reminder this is a Bucky chapter. I really struggled with this one so who knows what this is. As always  my beautiful beta @moonbeambucky​​​​​​​ made sure this wasn’t trash. If you like it write me a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

Morning came too fast. The sun rose against Bucky’s wishes for it to stay hidden and keep reality from tearing away the small bit of heaven they created last night. Once it did, Bucky wasn’t sure how he would fare. He hoped well. There’s history, though. He’s watched her love another, and Bucky had loved him too. It made all of this more complicated. There were rules and lines that if crossed, relationships and hearts would never be the same. It wasn’t as simple as a confession of love whispered in the dark, regardless of past promises exchanged and the ones broke with only the stars to bear witness.

One stumble. One misstep and everything would crumble around them. 

Was it even safe to say what was on his heart? Was ‘I love you’ too risky, too sudden? It wasn't something Bucky was willing to gamble yet. Maybe once they’ve talked and he’s held her through the fears he knows are there. No admissions this morning, just the quiet they fell into. 

Thankfully, that silence was there to say what the heart couldn’t. 

The room was already growing warm from the rays spilling in and heating the heap of tangled sheets and limbs. Something was off. Bucky turned to find the source and he couldn’t help the quiet laugh rumbled from his chest. The break in the thick soft coral fabric that usually kept the sun out smiled back at him. It was still parted from the lamp that fell the night before. He had forgotten. The brushed silver stand caught the curtain in the midst of shedding clothes and desperate kissing and falling. The cream colored shade still sat on the floor where it fell and Bucky couldn’t find it himself to be bothered. Bucky ran a hand down his face, but the grin pinching his cheek stayed put regardless. It’s been fifteen years -- Fifteen years! It was hard to believe they were here after everything that happened. 

After all the mistakes he made, Bucky never thought he would end up here. He thought for a long time, it was one-sided. A silly crush he convinced himself he would get over if he found enough distractions. Nothing was ever enough because nothing could ever mean more than her. There was a fleeting moment when his chance came into view, and it was snatched away from him before he realized he wouldn’t get another. Last night everything changed. It was… there were no words that could do it justice in Bucky's eyes. It was incredible. Amazing. Perfect. A glimpse of Heaven he never deserved to have and long overdue. It was everything Bucky thought it would be and so much more.

Bucky’s spent most of his life dreaming about a morning just like this. A morning where he woke to a dream, an angel sleeping soundly next to him and wrapped around his heart, invading every inch of his soul. He’s pictured their first time more than he could ever hope to count and no matter how the fantasy started, it never played out like that. It was never that soft and bright and wistful. Dreamlike but unlike any dream Bucky could invent. In the versions that played out in his head, there was always a dramatic confession of love that led to this frantic, consuming moment where they landed tangled around each other and ready to run away together as soon as the sun rose.

This was far better. 

Mornings after have never been something Bucky was particularly fond of. He usually woke with a twinge in his soul and a burning in his heart. Burning so badly he couldn’t wait to get away from the faceless woman next to him and he did. As fast as he could, he ran straight for her every time. Looking for absolution or temporary amnesia perhaps. A few hours to forget that it would never be her laying next to him, she would never be his because they weren’t made for each other like he once believed. The feeling he wakes with on those days is reminiscent of an ache he knows he can never mend. It doesn’t feel anything like this. Nothing in his life has ever felt like this, not a single moment in his life has he ever felt this solid. No one but Y/n could make him feel so utterly lost and devastatingly found all in one breath. 

There was a nudge to his ankle. A soft foot gently grazing against the tiny hairs resting there and pulling him out of his head and back to her. Bucky rolled onto his side and grinned when he found her hiding behind the blanket, only her eyes peeking out over the fluff that was covering her nose. Her mouth was hidden but he knew by the twinkle in her eye she was smiling. Over the last year, Bucky has become accustomed to seeing her wake with a tearful gleam and ghosts pinning her down. There’s only a smile this morning and somewhere in that stubborn head of his, he knows it’s his doing. He hoped it was his doing. 

All he’s ever wanted in this life is to make her happy and, while Bucky knows he will never truly deserve her, it won’t stop him trying to be worthy of her.

Y/n slowly slid the blanket down uncovering that pretty smile, the one Bucky lives and dies by. Seeing it first thing in the morning, when she’s still glowing and he’s still searching for the breath she stole does something to him. Something he couldn’t explain if he was forced to. It’s a good thing, Bucky knows that. He knows that because his hands were still trembling and his heart was pounding like it’s found a new reason to keep beating. It started last night when she asked him to fall and he went tumbling down, Bucky found something more to live for. His second chance at life came from loving her and he wasn’t going to screw it up again.

The quiver in his fingers settled when they brushed her skin and she smiled because of his touch. He placed a soft kiss to her shoulder when his fingers left a shiver in their place. Another kiss to her chest followed the path his hands created as they explored, and another one to her neck. Okay, several to her neck and that spot under her ear that makes her whimper. He really liked that one. Her fingers played with the chain around his neck, slowly wrapping the cold metal around her hand and tugging him forward until his lips to meet her mouth. Bucky slowly crawled over her using his knee to push her legs apart and slipped down between her legs, never once breaking their kiss-- he wasn’t ready to lose their softness. 

Bucky draped himself over her, neither bothered getting dressed last night and he was grateful for their laziness this morning. His forearms rested on the bed next to her head and fingers playing with the fallen strands of her hair. She smiled up at him and mumbled a quiet good morning which Bucky returned with a languid kiss, one that only added to the heat filling the room. He didn’t have a real plan for how this would go. The only thing he wanted to do this morning (and for every morning for the rest of forever) is show her how much he loves her. She sighed helplessly when he broke their kiss, staring up at him waiting for him to tell her which path they should follow-- their head or their heart. Yeah. Okay. That was the plan for today. She needed to know that it all means something more. Every touch, every kiss, and every last whisper means more; it did back then and does now. He’s waited so long to have her like this, how could it not mean everything? 

It was everything. He would show her. It didn’t matter how they got here or how it happened. None of this happened the way Bucky wanted it to, and he knows exactly what this second chance cost them both, but he just wants to love her the way she deserves to be loved—how he should have been loving her all these years. 

Pausing he asked, “Fall with me?” 

He bumped their noses together and she smiled up at him. 

“Yeah, Buck.”

He returned her grin and checked one more time to be sure, “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

She leaned up and caught his lips, tumbling into unknown depths once more with only Bucky there to catch her. It felt the same and different. A familiar nuance. Last night was slow and Bucky couldn’t see anything past her. It’s the same this morning; she’s the only thing his heart recognizes but his thoughts are clearer, more focused. It feels less like a dream and more like it could be his future; like it was real, tangible enough he could reach out to take a hold of her, and never let go. 

Or so Bucky hoped. 

Bucky took his time loving her, the sun was barely up and he wanted to see how far they could fall. However far she was willing to take him, Bucky will follow her wherever. He may be the one making her come undone this time around, but she’s always the one leading the way. So he let her lead, followed every move of her hips and every shiver. God, he loved the way she sounded under him. Those sweet sighs and desperate gasps. His name on her lips. 

“Bucky. Bu- Bucky.” 

He doesn’t think he will ever tire of hearing his name fall from her lips with such need. It was beyond the heat and want of the moment and while she’s needed him in the past she’s never needed him in this way. 

Letting go of her felt like a sin. Something he shouldn’t attempt again and he won’t if he can’t help it. Bucky made the quick trip to the bathroom after her, peeking out the door to watch her curl around his pillow, wearing nothing but the smile Bucky gave her. The sight made him move a little bit faster. He climbed back into bed rubbing his beard against her stomach and chest until she giggled. Bucky whispered against her bare skin, “Ain’t that a pretty sound.” 

She smiled and told him his laugh was prettier. Bucky playfully nipped at the sensitive skin under her breast making her yelp and shook his head in disagreement. If she wasn’t still floating in the glimmer of what they had just shared she would argue some more. Bucky urged his head into her hands and she obliged, running her fingers through his hair once he settled down on top of her with his head on her chest and arms wrapped tightly around her waist. He really was like a cat sometimes. Bucky’s eyes felt heavy and her hand slowed, sleep was calling them both and they’ve spent enough time denying their wants.

They could talk later. There was time. 

--------

By the time Bucky woke again, the sun was no longer glaring at the window and the room had cooled, despite the fever Bucky created before falling asleep. It took him only a second to realize he was alone this time, the sheets crumbled at the end of the bed leaving his naked skin exposed to the cold air the fan was blowing. There was a note resting on the pillow next to him, smiling less kindly than the curtains had the first time he opened his eyes. He called out for Y/n but there was no answer and without reading he knew what that paper laying next to him said. He rolled into his back and held the note up over his head, reading the words several times over. 

There’s coffee ready for you and I threw your cigarettes in the trash. They better stay there. I have something I need to do, but I’ll be back soon. 

I’m not running. 

Xoxo, 

Your trouble. 

Bucky held the note to his chest and took a deep breath. It was nice to hear but it didn’t settle the fear in his chest. He could have walked away from all this before but now that he’s held her he can’t go back to the way things were before. It’s all or nothing this time around. He set the letter on the nightstand next to the half empty glass of water and her well-worn copy of Anna Karenina. Bucky had to remind himself, she was marking their path and all he had to do was follow her. Bucky knows her better than she knows herself some days and he knows what she needs right now, and he needs to respect that.

So he did. 

The shower seems smaller today. The water burnt his skin regardless of the temperature and the steam felt like it was choking him. He knows it’s because Y/n wasn’t there with him. Which was ridiculous. There hasn’t been a day in his life that he’s shared a shower with her, but not having her downstairs or in their-- her bed weighs heavy on his chest. God did he need a cigarette.

The air was still dense, suffocatingly so, when Bucky made his descent down the stairs that led into the kitchen. His coffee was waiting for him like she said it would be and there was a bright pink sticky note on the lid to the trash-can that caught his eye right away. Bucky snatched it on his way to the mug sitting in front of the glass carafe, reading as he poured. 

And you say I’m trouble. Don’t even think about it, Barnes.

Bucky chuckled and pressed the sticky side of the paper to the cabinet door above the pot, grumbling quietly to himself, “Trouble. Just trouble.” 

Guess the cigarette was out.

By mid-afternoon, Bucky was unable to sit still for longer than a few seconds. He tried to watch a little TV, stared at Steve’s letters for a solid hour before hastily tossing them back into the drawer, and heading outside to tinker with his bike. No matter what he did, he couldn’t keep his nerves from rattling with each hour that passed. The sun was low before he realized it was setting and the pit in his stomach grew. He forced himself to get cleaned up for the second time today, though, he was washing away a different kind of filth. He had one more thing he needed to grab before she came home and he found himself wandering out onto the front porch at what seemed to be the perfect time -- his heart must have known.

The sound of her car rolling over the gravel somehow unraveled him while keeping him together. He took a few steps to the top of the stairs and watched as she walked up the walkway, stopping in front of him. She looked more at ease than she felt he imagined. He had a pretty good idea what happened this morning and where she went, but he also knew she would tell him the whole story when she was ready to and not a moment before. 

“How’s Wanda?” 

She grinned. 

“She’s fine. Annoyingly perceptive.” 

Bucky hummed and pulled out a pale pink peony from his back and held it out for her. She rolled her eyes despite the grin she was unable to stop and took the flower. It was cheesy. Bucky knew it was the cheesiest thing he’s ever done but he didn’t care. He’s spent more than a decade desperate to love her and now that he can, he’s not holding anything back. 

“Dinner?” She asked, holding the flower to her nose to hide the size of her grin. Bucky pushed the flower out of the way with his index finger and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. 

“Yeah, dinner.”

---------

Bucky wanted to press. Ask her what they were and what she was feeling but that wouldn’t be fair of him to do; demand she tell him exactly what this means and where they are going, after everything she’s been through. She probably didn’t know. He couldn’t fault her for that. This entire year was new for her. She’s had to become a different person, with a brand-new dream towards a future she never planned to live. He’s wanted this for years, but for her, this is just something else that’s changed, something else she needed to adjust to and sort out her feelings for. 

He owed her that time. She deserved the time to figure out her feelings without pressure. 

She needed the stability of something familiar and if Bucky kept himself from being selfish, he could give that to her. It wouldn’t be that hard. Most things between them hadn’t changed all that much. They’ve always teased each other, had this connection that’s been entirely for them, and no one else. Only a few things have changed and he could hold back if she needed that. Since she’s been home the front porch kiss has been the only one, despite how much Bucky wished they could forget dinner and spend the rest of the night kissing. Then again Bucky always wants to kiss her. So that wasn’t really all that new either. There were plenty of times when he had wanted to tonight. It was usually found in the little things. When she was standing at the stove swinging her hips to the low hum of the radio Bucky had to force himself to keep his hands and lips to himself when all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and let his lips wander her skin with no real destination in mind. Let them land wherever she would allow and beg permission for the rest. He made no move to do so, just stood beside her and listened to every direction she gave him, letting himself fall for the fifth or sixth time in the last twenty-four hours.  

“So you are going to show me the marshmallow thing now?” 

Bucky laughed but his cheeks were pink and getting brighter by the second. 

“I can, but I like how sweet you taste without it.” 

Bucky watched the shift in her seat, tilting her chin up and dropping her gaze to where her fingers were dancing on the clear steam of her wine glass. She was flustered. Bucky couldn't help the smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips, he tossed his napkin on the table and watched her. She briefly glanced at him, challenging him with a quick raise of her brow and gave one right back. There were a lot of ways this could go. He could drop it and they would push it aside like they always do, or he could act on the tension between them. The little bit of sauce on her bottom lip really made Bucky want to do the second thing. 

Slowly, Bucky closed the few inches between them, scooting her chair closer to him with a gentle pull from his foot and pressing a delicate kiss to the corner of her mouth and running his tongue along the cream on her lips. He barely pulled away before she turned to capture his lips, and it quickly shifted from sweet to desperate and heated. Bucky’s hands find their way onto her backside and slide her off the chair onto his lap with an easy lift.  

It was heady. The kiss. Intoxicating and overwrought. More like the times Bucky dreamed of. Hard and a little rough, with a gentle want. Her hips were moving at a frantic pace, pushing the harsh denim against him and he was quickly losing himself in the feeling. It felt good. To let go and give into her and high that came from wanting her. Bucky’s grip tightened on her waist pushing her down harder with each drag of her hips. 

If they were young and foolish he would lay her out on the table, shoving the plates and bottles to the floor because the mess wouldn’t matter. Not when he needed to be inside her this badly. They weren’t kids any longer. There were scars and wounds and broken pieces that needed to be mended with softness. She was more than some quick fuck he found himself buried in to ease the void and as good as this felt, he didn’t want to love her like that. Her movements faltered and Bucky helped steady her, giving her the chance to pull back and catch her breath. 

There wasn’t much on his mind beyond her, but he followed her glance to the table and met eyes when they landed back on him. 

“We have to clean up?” She asked, panting and clearly a little foggy. 

Bucky chuckled. She was asking him?

He glanced back at the plates on the table where several drained beer bottles sat next to an empty wine glass with a line of red floating on the bottom, the bowl of pasta they had yet to finish, and empty plates. It was a mess. The plates would be a nightmare to clean after that cream sauce had dried and that little bit of wine in the glass would leave a ring. He didn’t care. With his arm secured tightly around her, Bucky carefully stood with her in his arms and headed straight for the stairs. 

With darkened eyes anchored in hers, he assured her, “It will still be there tomorrow, Trouble.” 

They could deal with it together in the morning because he’s not going anywhere any time soon. He will be there as long as she’ll have him and with any luck Bucky has this tomorrow and the next because, without her, Bucky doesn’t have one. 

Previous // Next 

[drarryangels]

angst corner recs

Hello hello everyone. Long time no see. Here are some fics that I love under the angst tag in my bookmarks that I'd probably (totally) die for. I tried to include mostly fics that I don’t hear people talking a lot about, but there are some big titles in here as well. 

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I'd Catch You by Caellie_E_and_Vaye_Rue_Y, G

...Five times Harry made a promise, and one time he had to fulfill it.

R/N: Royalty au! Friends to lovers! Angsty! Perfection. I got into some heeeavy royalty au obsession for like two days, and was blessed to discover this fic. Seriously, so good. Beware MCD.

Stone, Sky, and Sea by RurouniHime, M

...(In which the Wizarding Saviour wanders about Oop North, tries to escape his partner, and fails miserably.)

R/N: Um this specific writing style is literally everything I love and also everything I aspire to be. Plus, this fic is just... hard to explain but it's so.... nice. Nice writing, nice location. Heartbreaking, but also so sweet.

The Bucket List by GallaPlacidia, NR

Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List....

R/N: I think everyone has read this by now. But if you haven't... seriously do. It's one of the Drarry Classics That Everyone Must Read.

I've Built My Dreams Around You by fwooshy, T

Harry loves Draco. But starting over is hard, even when you're in love.

R/N: Rip my heart out and bury it anyways.

the last time that you touched me by silvergalaxy, M

What do you do when your boyfriend refuses to admit that his snarky comments about your hair are just a cover up so that you don't find out how much he actually loves it?

Harry Potter has a plan.

It doesn't work out quite as hoped.

R/N: I have no idea how many times I've read this fic. Like so many. Sooo many.

Espresso Patronum by tasteofshapes, T

When Draco reappears five years after the war and opens a wildly popular coffee shop, Harry’s pretty sure that Draco’s Up to Something. He just has to prove it.

R/N: Coffeeshop plus enemies to friends to lovers plus potions plus pining and lots of feelings. I can tell you: you want to read it!

Quiet World by augustskies, G

The first time the silence is broken, it’s Harry, nudging Malfoy’s shoulder, pointing out a single firefly perched on the ledge between them.

“Look,” he whispers, forgetting about one hundred and sixty-seven words.

R/N: Such a beautiful fic in a unique world where people can only say a limited amount of words per day. Really puts how inexhaustible what we say is, and what things could be like if our mouths couldn't run on forever. I like how this fic puts it all together, and how it shows that there are things that can be shown without words and those things are equally as important as the things said in words.

if stars died of old age by LiviKate, NR

His mother had had six months after his father had died. But it was expected; they had prepared and were already rather distanced. Draco hadn’t been ready, and Merlin, he had been so in love. He knew he was counting down in weeks, not months.

R/N: Gives me you are the antidote for me vibes but a little bit shorter for all the darlings out there who need shorter fics.

Small Thing by tsauergrass, G

...Or more simply: Draco falling in love with Harry.

R/N: Okay god, but I love this fic. Literally any who knows me knows that I am head over heels for tsauergrass, and none of their works have ever let me down, and I must rec them and comment on them endlessly because I just... cannot imagine a world where my life didn't cross pass with theirs. And GOD WHAT A HORRIBLE THOUGHT (i can't imagine never reading anything of tsauergrass') JUST READ THIS PLS

Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia, T

When Harry gets amnesia and forgets he and Draco were ever married, he refuses treatment to remember.

R/N: One of my favorite fics ever, no exaggeration. Beautifully written, incredibly heartbreaking, and so tragically GOOD.

The Green Vial by eidheann, E

After months of seeing Harry Potter walk into his Apothecary disappointed and hopeless, Draco offers to carry the baby that Harry can't. Now he's just got to hide the fact that he's been half in love with Harry for years.

R/N: I know most people don’t really like mpreg, but I do so there. This is so sweet and precious with all the heartbreak and pining and trying for a baby and and and. 10/10 would read. 

Silverpoint by tackytiger, E

...Or: How Harry Potter Fell In Love (and Realised that Draco Malfoy Loved Him Back).

R/N: Tacky is a beautiful writer, and this fic is perfectly heartbreaking so. Yeah. 

Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by firethesound, E

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

R/N: There were tears rolling down my neck pretty much the whole time I was reading this. It’s another one of the Drarry Classics I think, but please do proceed with caution because it is quite a bit heavier than the other fics on this rec list. The portrayal of grief is incredibly vivid, and while that is a beautiful and special thing about this fic, it’s also very hard to read about. Really wonderful, but take water breaks in between and breathe a little. 

Blackberry Jam by JulietsEmoPhase, E

10-year-old Harry and Draco are evacuated from London during the Blitz, and through a logistical error, end up sharing not only a home but a bed. Follow them as they grow up against the backdrop of the war, discovering who they really are and slowly falling in love.

WWII Muggle AU. Mild smut, warnings for some thoughts of self harm/suicide.

R/N: This was the first Drarry fic I read over like 7k and I remember thinking how freaking long it was when I read it for the first time (it’s about 36k). My oh my how the times have changed. And yet, this fic is still just as good as ever. 

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Aaaand that’s the end of the list for now. I hope someone finds something on this list that they enjoy, and please feel welcome to leave additional recs in the comments/reblogs.