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dangermousie · 4 years ago

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2020 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2020; if I had to make a post about all the cdramas I watched this year, I would still be doing it in three months...

Overall it’s been a fairly decent cdrama year (certainly better than the very lacklustre kdrama year.) It’s no miracle that 2019 was (so many excellent dramas!) but overall pretty solid.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

44 The Legend of Jing Yan - the worst cdrama I have seen this year, and possibly the worst drama of 2020, period. The hero and heroine were both uncharismatic, incapable of acting and saddled with such shrilly moronic characters, the only suspense was how they haven’t both perished long since from forgetting to breathe. Nor was anyone in the rest of the cast much better; the screenplay was written by a lower mammal and the cinematography was the best a third-rate wedding cinematographer could offer. Stay the HELL away from this one.

43 Unicorn Girl - the only unicorn about this bland yet irritating piece of pap was the fact that I was supposed to believe the leads are hockey players.

42 Autumn Cicada - I like spy stories, Allen Ren, and Republican Era settings. I can tune out Communist propaganda with the best of them. Yet, the propaganda ate the story to such a degree that there was nothing left; pre magic change Pinocchio was less wooden then this narrative.

41 You Complete Me - no you do not.

40 Skate into Love - the only positive thing I can say about this is that at least it’s better than Unicorn Girl, if for no other reason that only one of them is supposed to be a hockey player.

39 Irreplaceable Love - how do you make a story about fake siblings with a mad mother falling for each other boring? I don’t know, ask the makers of this.

38 Eternal Love Rain - I hate to rain on their parade, but these two actors cannot act, have about as much chemistry as a piece of bread, and are trapped in a story perfect for entertaining the mental abilities of the leads of Jin Yan.

37 For Married Doctoress - ummmm, you could do worse I guess. It only made me break out in mild hives. The sadistic ending did make me laugh though.

36 Dance of the Sky Empire - why you get Xu Kai and waste him in this insipid mess of a story is beyond me.

35 Love Designer - it’s inoffensive except to my sense of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with it but oh God is it bland.

34 Love a Lifetime - It felt like a lifetime watching this, but I didn’t love it. The story is incoherent, the actors have no chemistry and it’s all an epic waste of time.

33 Love is Sweet - so sweet it gave me diabetes. I like Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu, but there is literally no plot. I don’t need to sink into a plotless morass to watch pretty people engage in PG-rated make-outs. I am an adult with access to stronger stuff if I am thus inclined, though to be fair they could get x-rated and I still wouldn’t be able to sit through so many episodes of plotlessness for that.

32 Fake Princess - I love Zhao Yi Qin, but the guy needs to pick better projects. The female lead in this one has the voice and personality that can strip paint but the story is also doing nobody any favors.

31 The Changan Youth - I lost my brain checking this out. I had to go and read a dense treatise on medieval coinage or Mayan farming to try to recover it.

30 My Dear Destiny - kinda cheesy fun. It honestly shouldn’t be as low except it really feels like community theater.

29 Handsome Siblings - why is the Nic Tse version so good and this one so bad? True mystery for the ages. Chen Zhe Yuan is the sole reason this isn’t lower, because that kid tries SO HARD to make this drama bearable and almost succeeds. I can’t wait to see him in Sha Po Lang which actually will give him something to do.

28 In a Class of Her Own - see my comment on The Changan Youth. But at least Song Weilong is gorgeous to look at.

27 General’s Lady - inoffensive, pretty and so utterly pointless.

26 The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion - those two leading actors are a no go to me but at least they considerately acted with each other instead of ruining two dramas for me. It’s very pretty though.

25 Jiu Liu Overlord - it’s a mess and I bailed, but I placed it this high merely due to the fact that Lai Yi finally gets a leading role and he’s sexy as fuck and I am shallow. Whoever styled Bai Lu should never work again except at a circus, however.

24 Cross Fire - not my genre and Luhan will always look too much like my cousin for comfort, but it’s a surprisingly gripping and dark drama. I liked it!

23 God of Lost Fantasy - if you want to watch a mediocre wuxia/xianxia, this is not a bad choice. Probably better than Legend of Fei actually, because at least it doesn’t have an A-list cast to waste and gives us Sheng Yilun himbo and shirtless.

22 Renascence - the insane cuts (it went from 70 eps to 36!!!) made a fairly cheesy story into a total mess. But I had a good time until I finally bailed mainly because of the male lead (Chen Zhe Yuan yet again carrying a not-good 2020 drama on his shoulders; the guy should be nicknamed Atlas) and the insane but in a fun way story. The female lead (both the character and the actress) were not up to par but oh well.

21 Legend of Fei - only this high because objectively there is nothing I disliked it. But there is nothing I liked either. The most uninspired drama on the list. If you could eat cardboard, this is what it would taste like.

20 Ever Night 2 - compared to EN1, it’s a waste of film. On its own merits, it’s not very good (the cast replacements are uniformly inferior and Dylan Wang is so wrong for Ning Que I cannot even put it into words; the script is useless.) But it had some parts I loved so very VERY much (all the shippy stuff was perfection) so I don’t feel too bitter.

19 Castle in the Sky 2 - a lovely if not too complex fairy tale. It is inferior to its prequel because it doesn’t have Zhang Ruo Yun who elevated it, but it’s still a solid bit of fun.

18 The Great Ruler - it’s very high fantasy, very pretty, and surprisingly involving.

17 (tie) Legend of Two Sisters in the Chaos - the secondary couple steals the show but the rest is not too bad if not too involving.

17 Legend of Awakening - a solid bit of fun with a seriously BDSM streak (theme this year apparently - but come on, the lead’s powers only activate when he’s in extreme pain!) It’s a bit generic and the costuming is done by a blind person, not to mention the OTP is a NOTP, but the rest of relationships (romantic and platonic) are wonderful (I live for the found siblings story in this one) and I like most of the characters.

16 Consummation - a rare modern cdrama I liked; a sweet coming of age story (and love story) even if wrapped in a pretty weird virtual reality concept.

15 Oops the King is in Love - this is how you do a low budget, sweet, silly piece of fluff. Our heroine pretends to be a eunuch and crosses paths with a powerless young king and they are adorable, even more so than the drama.

14 Song of Glory - pretty solid, though draggy and I didn’t love the toothpaste filter. But A+ cast, excellent leading couple chemistry, Li Qin being a BAMF and a leading man (Qin Hao) who is actually an adult.

13 And the Winner is love - objectively kind of a mess (and the heroine has the brainpower of a gnat), but the OTP chemistry is excellent and Luo Yunxi fighting and flirting with a fan as finally a leading man is worth the price of admission.

12 Miss S - snazzy and snappy and stylish and whatever else starts with S.

11 Eternal Love of Dream - I don’t know if it would work for you as well if you weren’t a hardcore shipper for this OTP in Three Lives but I was and this was such a darling, wonderful, shippy delight; plus I love this type of high fantasy.

10 (tie) Maiden Holmes - solid and sweet and a wonderful OTP. Proves that functional doesn’t have to mean boring. If you watch one cross-dressing drama this year make it this one.

10 Qin Dynasty Epic - srs bsns history epic. I am not far into it but it’s so good and smart and visually stunning (if you love battles, this one is for you.)

9 Love Lasts Two Minds - I adored this so much more than I should objectively have, but it’s so beautiful (and no I am not just referring to Alan Yu’s face) and the OTP has wonderful chemistry and the story is solid, and the whole trope of her memory being wiped but falling for him all over again while he’s constantly and utterly devoted is a fave; plus he’s in pain and semi-dyng for most of it so sluuuurp (happy ending, don’t worry)

8 To Love - yes, a modern drama is this high! But it involves intensity, tragedy, genuine adults and sexiness that is Lin Gengxin. And there is an actual plot and darkness OMG!

7 Legend of Xiao Chuo - so beautiful, so fun, so full of gorgeousness of Shawn Dou. Plus, Liao is a rare setting for a cdrama and there are a lot of characters and stories I liked a LOT. Less ship content than I wanted but more than I expected.

6 The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so so delightful. I was literally laughing out loud. I have no idea if it will work as well if one isn’t a seasoned watcher of period cdrama/reader of web novels, with bonus for watching/reading Goodbye My Princess, but it was a complete delight for me (and yes, I shipped for real, as well. Best of both worlds.)

5 Twisted Fate of Love - Jin Han gets a leading period drama role! And he’s enjoying it to the hilt, excellent as a smart, twisty bastard who is also charming and so madly in love with heroine. Sun Yi is beautiful and tough and her chemistry with JH is on fire, the story never drags, and it’s so twisty and fun and just awesome.

4 Love In Between - the most underrated drama on this list. It has no big names or big budget, but it’s wuxia that’s clever, driven, tragic, hopeful and so beautifully shot. Three separate (amazing) OTPs, a leading man who is so not typical (a doctor who cannot fight and who never acquires this ability) and who is intense and smart and damaged, a heroine who puts her quest ahead of her emotions, an unhealthy degree of involvement by yours truly. This is a drama Fei should have been.

3 Love and Redemption - such a lovely, addictive, utterly romantic fairy tale. I was obsessed with it for a reason. All the tropes you love and some you didn’t know you did, a star-crossed OTP to the nth power (and a secondary OTP I hardcore love), a twisty yet coherent plot, some insane chemistry and so much whump and hurt/comfort they must have bought blood packets in bulk.

2 Go Ahead - yes, I can’t believe it either. A contemporary slice of life cdrama made it this high on my list. But the way it feels so real, the found family perfection, the characters I love and loathe, the perfect cherry of a wonderful OTP that hits my narrative kinks on top, and just a perfect storm of loveliness all around with this one.

1 The Wolf - is that any surprise to anyone who’s checked out this tumblr for the last couple of months? Tragic, intense and gorgeous; so romantic and angsty and passionate it made me lose my mind (though some of it was gone the moment the camera panned to Darren Wang) - all my favorite tropes and then some; this is a drama that may not be perfect but it is 100% and then beyond perfect for ME.

FAVORITE DRAMA

The Wolf - I have seen objectively better cdramas; even this year. But it has been literal years since I have been this hardcore obsessed, this utterly pleased, this emotionally catered to and devastated at once. A beautiful dark fairy tale that manages to own me despite the storytelling gaps due to censorship, it took me for one of the biggest emotional roller coaster rides of my drama watching career. Visually gorgeous, poetic, intense, and so romantic it took my breath away, this is not just my favorite cdrama of 2020, it’s my favorite drama this year period, and the one cdrama this year to make it into my permanent Top 10 cdramas list.

WORST DRAMA

Legend of Jin Yan - see my write up for it for why as I refuse to waste more time on this stupid mess.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Wolfie, The Wolf - he is such a haunted, tormented, complex, dark mess; loving and violent, severely damaged and with a hidden yearning softness, longing and aloof. And the amount of charisma and sheer masculine sex appeal Darren Wang brings to the role is insane and not something I see much of in a cdrama. Plus, that character arc with its rapid fall and slow painful redemption is A++++

Runner Up: Sifeng, Love and Redemption - has a male lead ever loved more utterly and selflessly, suffered more thoroughly and beautifully, and managed to have such chemistry with both his leading lady and his leading man (that his leading lady temporarily turned into) at once? The answer is no.

Almost made the cut - Feng Xi, Twisted Fate of Love, Han Shuo, The Romance of Tiger and Rose, Qing Ci, Love in Between.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Qian, The Romance of Tiger and Rose - so funny, so much the reason this drama was such a delight. I adore her beyond words.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Murder Daddy, The Wolf - I am sad the censors robbed us of seeing him die on screen. He was fully human but nonetheless managed to be the worst monster in a drama full of literal ones.

Ling Xiao’s Mom, Go Ahead - I hate her so much I don’t want to look up her name. She abused the kid, the disappeared and came back to abuse him some more. I mean she literally gave her child mental health issues. She is the WORST.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xing’er x Wolfie, The Wolf - are you kidding me? Who else could it ever be for me? They destroyed each other and saved each other, sworn enemies and childhood lovers, soulmates and epic messes, they couldn’t live with or without each other. The longing, the passion, the intensity, the angst, the epicness. LIKE THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!!

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Si Yuan, Shen Manqing, Love in Between - I loved them as much and often more than the main OTP. So much angst and passion and a happy ending! She is a seeming sect darling (except the sect is horrible and also sexist so her only worth is as a marriage candidate) and he’s an information broker who is actually one of the members of a destroyed sect that’s blamed for the massacre of her family. That chemistry and yearning is insane. The scene where she touches his face when he’s unconscious was in serious running for my favorite scene of 2020.

NOTP

Legend of Awakening - I have never seen a couple that didn’t just have no chemistry but exhibited actual revulsion towards each other before watching Chen Feiyu and Cheng Xiao try to act as lovers in this one. It was almost entertaining to be honest.

FAVORITE SCENE

It’s a tie and both are from The Wolf. One is a sequence where Wolfie marches to the walls alone, seeking death at Xing’er’s hands and the whole sequence with the battle and rescue follows. The other is the intercut between Xing’er going to her wedding and Wolfie going to his execution, and the auto-da-fe being intercut with her wedding.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Wolfie, The Wolf - Ummm have you seen this tumblr lately, it’s basically a drool shrine to the man.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yelü Yansage, The Legend of Xiao Chuo - I have loved this actor since The Myth and he continued to competently steal every scene he was in.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

To Love - come out of the coma, dammit!!!!!!!

NEEDS A DIRECTOR’S CUT

The Wolf - duh. It started out as 59 eps and got cut to 49. I reaiize some stuff is never gonna get put in due to censorship, but some of the stuff that got cut got for time reasons because they were deluded and hoping to get a TV broadcast so ep count had to be under 50. I mean I doubt the censors would care if they kept scenes of Wolfie building her a swing or whatever. I really really want a director’s cut the way Goodbye My Princess did even if like with GMP it’s only three extra eps. Hell, I will take extra three minutes, as long as those three minutes are Darren Wang shirtless or with a sword. Ahem.

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

The Song of Glory - it’s a fairly solid drama but honestly it didn’t need to be as long as it was and kind of got draggy and I got lost interest. (I could have gotten snarky and said all the dramas I didn’t like needed scissors taken to them in their entirety but decided to play nice.)

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

There are a number of dramas I could complain about with regard to this (hi there, darling The Wolf!) but this award goes to Renascence - poor Renascence was never going to be a masterpiece, but it had the potential to be a bit of good cheesy fun until it had its run time cut by more than half and became an incoherent piece of insanity.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Dumb shrill innocent heroine who can’t tie her shoes - see basically all the cdramas I didn’t like this year.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Male lead torture - I mean it’s always open season on that in cdramas, but between Love and Redemption, The Wolf, Love Lasts Two Minds, Love in Between and so on, it was a banner year!

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Legend of Fei - what a waste of that cast; what a waste of our finite time on this Earth. What a waste of my intelligence to hope for something better and stick with it for a dozen eps. I have had stale wonderbread that had more personality than this drama.There is absolutely nothing that stands out about this drama in any way, from half-dimensional characters, to actors who are sleepwalking, to a plot that moves at the speed of an arthritic snail, to uninspired cinematography and direction, to lack of any chemistry between anyone in the cast. If paint-by-numbers was done by a group of particularly linear robots, it might come across the same way as this drama.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

The Wolf - honestly, I did not expect it to come out AT ALL EVER let alone to become my favorite drama of 2020. I was not familiar with the leading man (hahah), I liked Li Qin but wasn’t yet obsessed with her, and Xiao Zhan was excellent in The Untamed but I was hardly going to follow him from drama to drama (and I don’t do SLS any way.) And the trailer was enjoyable but unlike seemingly everyone, I didn’t think it was going to be some epic masterpiece. And then it came out and while it wasn’t objectively an epic masterpiece, it pulled out all the favorite tropes, shippy and narrative kinks from the deepest darkest recesses of my id. And I fell harder than I have in years.

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

Novoland Eagle Flag and Joy of Life - they are in my Top 10 dramas from anywhere now. They are quite different except being smart and giving me protagonists to obsess over.

ETA: Also The Untamed because @idlewilds3 pointed out I actually watched it in 2020 even though I didn’t think so because this hellyear has lasted about three decades.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

I am gonna limit it to dozen and leaving out ones that aren’t necesarily supposed to air next year (Joy of Life 2, Love in Flames of War, Novoland Princess from Plateau.)

Monarch Industry, Novoland Pearl Eclipse, Silk Washing Stream, Dream of Changan, Sword Snow Stride, Wu Xing Shi Jia, Ancient Love Poetry, Immortality, The Long Ballad, Mirror Twin Cities, The Imperial Age, Fall In Love

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lesbianlovelanguage · 4 years ago

Note

YOUTUBER AU I’m such a fucking sucker for those. It can be anything you want really. Maybe they are friends doing a challenge or something and they end up kissing (or more ;)) or they could meet each other at like a creator even and take a pic together and everyone starts to ship them... :)

HI! Anon I am so sorry, life has been *general handwaving* a MESS. But, I’ve finally gotten most of my shit together and look! A fic! Finally!!! I hope you enjoy two ridiculous boys being ridiculous.

---

“You guys asked for it, and here it is. The explanation to Bendy and the Ink Machine! Now, I’ve watched a ton of playthroughs of this, especially The RatKing’s, as well as played through it myself, and I think I’ve got it.”

Such a simple statement, it made it through both of the editors as well as Steve and Dustin themselves without raising any red flags. But as with everything, once it had been released on the internet it became fuel for fans to break apart and over analyze.

The comments started pouring in, the standard mix of support and people trying to break apart his theory. But one comment in particular would stand out and begin something so much bigger than itself.

Twenty minutes after Steve had pressed upload, someone with the username Random Hoe posted a comment saying Awe! A collab between you and Billy would be totes amazing!! While an innocent comment in itself, it began to pick up steam as people ranted and demanded for the two popular youtubers to interact more. It turned from video ideas to outright shipping within two hours, and only five hours after the video had been up, people began tagging Steve on Twitter with everything from edited screen grabs to fanart and video edits, all about Steve and Billy’s secret yet undying love for each other.

Steve had almost quit Youtube as the fanbase for what had been dubbed “Stilly” steadily grew and became all the more ravenous. There were less and less comments and reactions to his theories, whether movie, video game, or even book related, and more and more comments about how he needed to do a collab with Billy ASAP, and how he’s queerbaiting, and how it’s okay to come out, it was 20Gayteen after all. He had tried to do damage control, but it only made things worse.

And then someone showed Billy, and Steve not only wanted to quit Youtube, but also crawl under a rock.

Billy’s only reaction to someone sending him a picture of Steve and Billy during a live stream was “Nice art, like the hair,” but Steve could have sworn his mouth twitched down in a grimace before Billy recovered his composure.

But Dustin had convinced Steve to keep going, and with two months of no recognition or new content, the frenzy of Stilly shipping died down. It never disappeared, but no one sent anymore art to Billy and stopped tagging Steve in all of their posts. That had been in February.

Vidcon was in June, and Stilly was the least of Steve’s worries. He’d been asked to host a panel on the new game show he and Dustin had begun hosting on Youtube TV about pop culture trivia, and then host a live episode with various Youtube guests as competitors. It promised to be relatively simple, a simple explanation of the origin and behind-the-scenes and a simple Q&A session followed by what he spent every Thursday doing for the past two months. And it was, him and Dustin breezing through the panel bouncing off of each other and the first round of Did You Know? You Don’t Say? flying by as the famed beauty guru aced almost every question. But once the second guest stepped on stage, Steve knew it was all going to go to shit.

Because Billy Hargrove, The Rat King himself, swaggered out on the stage in flip flops and an Everlast crop top and flopped into the contestant’s chair with a smirk. Steve froze, mouth suddenly drier than a desert.

Luckily, Dustin didn’t even stutter. “Ah! The next victim. Should we go easy on him?” He waggled his eyebrows as he asked the audience. The audience shouting brought Steve out of his daze, and with a shake of his head, he turned and spread his arms out wide.

“Well then, let’s begin. So, Billy, Do you know what the rarest MnM color is?”

The cocky smirk melted off of Billy’s face, replaced by one of thoughtful determination. He’s silent for only a moment before he looks up and says, “Brown, like your eyes, Pretty Boy.” Steve feels his pale skin flush with heat, but he coughs and tries to play it off.

“Quite the charmer there, Rat King. Luckily, your lines are actually true. One point! Let’s see it!” He calls out and then looks behind him to the television screen currently displaying the scoreboard. A large blocky 1 appears and the audience cheers.

“Alrighty then,” Dustin says after the crowd dies down. “Next question. Billy, Do you know the original name of Istanbul?” Billy chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Easy. Constantinople.”

Dustin fake pouts and looks over to Billy. “None of that Rat King charm for me?” The audience laughs, and Billy chuckles before throwing a wink at Dustin.

“Not quite old enough to ride this ride, bud.”

Dustin scoffs and shakes his head, making the curls bounce around wildly. “Whatever you say, old man. You did get it right by the way. Let me see another point!” Dustin mimics Steve and gestures towards the scoreboard which now shows a big, white 2.

“Your turn, Pretty Boy. Give me something hard.”

“Alright. Let’s see.” Steve pretends to look over his notes before seeing the perfect question. “So, Billy, Do you know which two American states don’t observe daylight savings time?” Billy stares blankly at Steve. This was the final question in their lineup, but he had asked for a hard question.

Luckily, Billy recovers quickly and clears his throat before giving another chuckle. “Damn, I know I said give me a hard one, but I wasn’t expecting that. I’m gonna go with Hawaii and Alaska?” Steve shakes his head and gives a small sigh.

Dustin gives a little cheer, and then runs over to a table off to the side of the stage where they have a cue card that the contestant has to read off of if they lose. It was Dustin’s idea, the You don’t say? part of the title. It’s his favorite part of the show, because they get to see their contestants say some ridiculous things.

“Well, unfortunately, that was incorrect,” Steve announces over the booing audience. “And, following the rules, you now have to read whatever is on this card.” Dustin hands Billy the cue card with a wicked grin.

Billy sighs and flips over the card. There’s a moment of silence as he reads over what the card says, and then he looks up at Steve and clears his throat.

“Would a Pretty Boy want to go out with me?” He says in a clear voice, gaze never leaving Steve’s.

Suddenly too many things for Steve to process happen at once. He feels the heat return to his cheeks and his mouth dry out again, the audience goes wild, and a buzzer sounds, signaling that they were out of time for Did You Know? You Don’t Say? Dustin comes through and pushes a frozen Steve off-stage, where Billy is waiting in the wings. With the audience’s weighty gaze gone, the feeling returns to Steve all at once.

“What the hell man? What was that out there?” He hissed at Billy. The man simply shrugs and gives another one of his trademark smirks.

“Just giving the people what they want, Princess. Try to keep up.” And then he turns around, and walks away. Simple as that. Nothing to it.

Steve wants to scream. Fortunately, he and Dustin have been friends for years, and he knows all of Steve’s tics by now. The stagehands shoo them from the wings, and he pulls Steve through one of the backdoors to outside the convention center. Somehow, he also procures a water bottle in the hustle, and hands it to Steve once they’re both sitting on the steps outside. Steve takes the water bottle gratefully and chugs half of it in one long gulp. He pulls it away and wipes at his face before sighing. He seems to deflate, like a balloon losing all of its helium at once, and Dustin puts an arm around him. It’s awkward because he’s shorter than Steve, but it’s still comforting nonetheless.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Dustin asks quietly.

“I- I’m so stupid. For just a second I thought it was real, but why would it be? What would someone like him see in someone like me?” Dustin lets out a huff before pulling away and turning towards Steve.

“Steve, buddy, pal o’ mine. You’re an idiot. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. He’s a pompous ass for pulling a stunt like that. It’s bullshit.”

“He could have anyone. Between his paycheck and his pecs, he’s one of Youtube’s hottest content creators.”

“Yeah, sure. But for the sake of alliteration, he also lacks personality. The guy’s a huge dick! And he proved it today. He knew that you wouldn’t shut him down and bitch him out on stage, so he thought it would be funny to pull that shit.”

“Yeah, he is kind of just a publicity-seeking asshole, you’re right,” Steve admits, feeling a little better, and a lot angrier. “You know what, Dusty-Poo? I’m gonna find him, and give him a piece of my mind.” He stands up, itching for a fight and knowing who to go find for one.

“Tha-that’s not exactly what I meant but sure! Go knock him down a peg.” Dustin stands up as well and follows Steve back onto the main showfloor.

It takes about twenty minutes to find Billy amongst the crowd but Steve sees him, and locks in like a tiger stalking his prey. Or something cool like that. Thankfully, Steve doesn’t have to make a huge scene as he walks up to Billy and gets in his face.

“You. Me. Conference Room 3. Now,” Steve says, poking a finger in the middle of Billy’s chest to emphasize his point. Billy chuckles, but still follows along as they walk into the empty conference room. Once they clear the doors and Steve hears them swing shut behind them, he turns to Billy.

“Explain. What the fuck was the point of that little,” he wavs his hand around, “stunt you pulled during the game show?”

Billy raises an eyebrow. “Told you Pretty Boy. I gave the people what they wanted.

“So that’s it? It was a publicity stunt?”

“You tell me. You’re the one who started the whole thing,” Billy shoots back, still holding on to an air of nonchalance, but Steve can his patience waning.

“You- you mean the stuff from February? When I happened to mention you in one video? You think I meant for that shitstorm to start, for fun and publicity?”

Billy only shrugs again.

“Okay. Nope. Again, I mentioned your channel one time, as a source. Gave credit where credit was due. I do it for all the channels I watch! I’ve mentioned Nancy’s channel like 8 times, and Jonathan’s too. Never had this shit started with them.”

“They’re married, Steve. Like super married. Of course it wouldn’t. We’re both single, queer youtubers. Of course shit’s gonna stop. Didn’t your agent or whoever look over your video?”

Steve huffs. “Oh yeah, let me just go hire an agent, cause I have such a need for someone to monitor my every move,” Steve snarked. Billy just looked at him like he had failed to add 2 and 3.

“You’re telling me you, part of one of the biggest channels on Youtube, don’t have an agent?”

“We’re not one of the biggest channels, and we’ve never needed one! We’ve got our team of editors and assistants, no need for some agent.”

“Steve,” Billy says patiently, like he was explaining something to a child, “You have over 4 million subscribers. That’s a big channel.”

“We’re still not one of the biggest channels, dipshit.”

“Oh, I'm the dipshit? I didn’t start a fucking fandom frenzy apparently by accident. Because I was smart and got a fucking agent.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Whatever you say Princess.”

“Stop fucking calling me a princess!” Steve screams, voice booming in the silent conference room. “Why do you do that? Pretty Boy, Princess, Stevie? Just- just stop with the fucking nicknames. It’s not fair.” The second part of his outburst comes out as a whisper, sounding almost desperate.

Billy was at a loss for words, but then again, he had always been more of a man of action.

So he says nothing, only gives a seconds’ thought of what he was going to do, before lunging forward and doing it.

Steve’s next words are muffled as Billy crashes their lips together with absolutely no finesse, teeth clacking. It probably constituted as the worst kiss Billy has ever had, but as he moves back, Steve grabs a fist full of blond locks and pulls him forward. Their

second kiss is far better. By no means is it soft, but that was just par for the course with them wasn’t it?

The kiss comes to a natural ending as they both pull back to breath, before Steve starts to giggle.

“You really need to work on your pick-up lines, Rat King.”

A soft gasp from the doorway cuts off Billy’s retort, and they both turn to see a girl decked out in Youtube merch, including a jacket with the Upside Down Theories logo on it. She had dropped her backpack, and was open-mouthed gaping at the two. Her eyes are as wide as dinner plates as she frantically gathers up her backpack and shoots out of the conference room.

“Chances that this blows up online by tomorrow?” Steve asks, turning to the blond next to him.

“I’m betting in the next two hours, Pretty Boy,” Billy replies.

A wicked smirk creeps onto Steve’s lips as he shrugs and says, “Oops. What was that about getting an agent to help with this stuff?”

---

Aside from this taking FOREVER, I hope you guys enjoy this! It was tons of fun to write.

tag team: @lostnoise @gideongrace @stevefuckingharrington @a-magey @catharrington @trashycatarcade @myboyfriendsteve @thesummerof84 @lightsupinthenorth @smashmouth-hargrove (lmk if you would like to be added/removed from the list!)

#tay writes #AGAIN FINALLY #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #stranger things #youtuber au #anon asks #tons of fun to write!!!

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prongsmydeer · 5 years ago

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Ayesha Liveblogs Tiger King

“I think it would be fair to say that Carole is the Mother Teresa of cats” now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear

“I’d never been a person who had friends” statements like this always perplex me because surely there had to be ONE other person in however long you quantify childhood that you identified with. Like not one whole ass person? You’re not the only person who loves cats Carole

The juxtaposition between Carole Baskin’s “Animal Print for Animal Rights” and Joe Exotic’s “Tiger King underwear is our bestseller” is poetic cinema

Okay this isn’t a reflection of my opinions on this man but I Saw a Tiger is a good country ballad there I said it

“When I first met Joe, I was like a month out of high school” well that’s not good

[Joe Exotic voice] Some people have tigers to cope

Doc Antle has only been on screen for 30 seconds and already he has made himself memorable by directing the film crew

Is Bhagavan Antle Indian in some way or did he just have a really intense Eat Pray Love journey with his guru

Also is he really a doctor orrrrrrrrr

“I am out there in the forefront so known of being this guy that is in love with big cats and has them love him back” please don’t tell me this guy does anything weird to his animals

“People only care about saving what affects them”

“You can’t put a price on holding a baby tiger” but you did and apparently it’s $625

The fact that multiple tigers have had albinism is probably a sign of major inbreeding practices at these zoos

You know, even if I ate meat*, there is no way I would be able to handle any kind of early prep stage of it bc seeing these cow carcasses is A Lot

*If u r reading this I don’t care if u eat meat leave me alone

“Animals just wasn’t enough, okay? So then I started adding magic” well that took an unexpected turn

I don’t know if it’s for real fair to criticize every person who has brought a big cat out in a public venue/talk show because I know at least like Dave Sal/moni is always going “THESE ANIMALS MAKE TERRIBLE PETS”

As a sidenote from what I understand this Saff person keeps being deadnamed/misgendered throughout this documentary and I do not appreciate it

“I grew up a professional cowboy in a family of professional cowboys” every sentence on this show is a journey

WHO is letting their ONE-YEAR-OLD lay on top of a tiger cub I know you’re at a zoo but BRUH

“It’s going to be a small Waco” to say this ON THE NEWS

This 2 minute stretch of episode is all the PSA anyone ever needs to never own a gun

Well I think we can all agree that PETA is a fucking mess

God this is like battle of the people who are terrible at doing anything good for animals

“What do you carry that gun for?” “People” AHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!!!!?!?

“I sleep with an AK-47 under my mattress, loaded, ready to roll” WILL SOMEONE HELP THE U.S. OF A

I was warned about this show and yet I was still not prepared for the level of UNHINGED it would be

How in the FUCK does a place like this not have an on-site medic

“Why don’t you come back on another day” he said, after telling the public an employee had his arm taken off

“I am never gonna financially recover from this” SURE JOE THIS IS ABOUT YOU

To go back to work a WEEK after getting your arm amputated... BRUH

“Any law that you think’s unfair or unjustice, it is your obligation, it is your responsibility to stand up against that bullshit law” well Thomas Jefferson was a slaveowner so clearly the injustice thing was relative for him

Traditionally don’t drug addictions fuel people choosing extreme paths with their life rather than the other way around?

JKHGKJHGKJH this whole exchange:

Interviewer: What kind of doctor is he?

Maria: Mystical science.

Interviewer: Mystical science?

Maria, nodding: Yeah.

“How many wives does Doc Antle have?” I didn’t expect this but somehow it tracks

I’m gonna bet none of these people with subcontinental names have a single bit of South Asian heritage like okay “Moksha” and “Rajnee” did Bhagavan name you

On a more serious note: It’s really fucked up that these men keep meeting literal teenagers, making them their employees, and then also get into relationships with them. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough THIS IS NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY

It’s pretty weird that Doc Antle keeps emphasizing so frequently that one of his partners is Italian

“I’m gonna go be a yoga animal trainer” ah, white people bullshit

“Goodbye. Don’t fall in love with your boss.” Good advice, Dad

I was not expecting all this subcontinental imagery to get under my skin this badly but what’s your problem dude can’t u be normal for like a second

“You’re this garbage person, but if you listen to me, I’ll make you great” again this tracks but gross

Again, on a more serious note: if a partner ever talks to you this way please call a domestic abuse hotline

Not that India is at all in a good place right now but I personally ban Doc Antle from ever entering India. Banned. Forever. I will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time

“I didn’t really know any better” is a really good way of summarizing what all of these younger partners have been through

Wow Carole is really explaining this abuse issue succinctly

Antle’s indignation at being implied to be a cult leader despite the fact he is most definitely a cult leader

Joe’s story in his documentary is constantly “is this going to be a humanizing moment PSYCH it’s still terrible”

HOW IS THIS LEGAL PAY YOUR WORKERS A LIVING WAGE

Why is this husband-killing thing JUST A FOOTNOTE AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE OH MY GOD

We have deviated so far from the tiger thing oh my god

Why is the only man in this documentary who is faithful to his spouse the man that smuggled drugs inside of snakes

Every time I learn a new thing about a person in this documentary I have to reorient myself

This whole episode has been about this murder and I’m concerned that its title, “The Secret,” hasn’t even been revealed yet

GOD I take back what I said about I Saw Tiger, the concept of this song/music video for Here Kitty Kitty is so disturbing that this man deserves no credit whatsoever as a musician

CAROLE WHY ARE YOU GIGGLING ABOUT THE MEAT GRINDER IT’S NOT FUNNY

Well I don’t have much to say about this episode other than yikes

I guess if you’re really out to spite someone stealing their brand and posting exactly the opposite of everything they stand for is an effective if weird and petty way to do it

Do you think the whole throne footage moment was a “Frankenstein realizing what he has wrought” kind of thing for Kirkham

This is really like watching a sports game of two teams you can’t stand except the sport is murder and other miscellaneous crime

If we’re all being real with ourselves the documentary filmmakers themselves MUST have had some issues going on to be able to walk into this situation and not do anything about it

This series really seems to present a compelling case for why every major figure in this documentary has potentially committed at least one terrible crime

Ah there’s the judgment from the woman in Florida I guess it’s two crimes with one stone

God these poor animals they do not deserve anything happening to them

While obviously people are enticed by the prospect of someone they’re into having an animal JUST GET AN ALREADY DOMESTICATED ANIMAL LIKE DOMESTICATED CATS AND DOGS EXIST OH MY GOD DO NOT USE EXOTIC PETS AS DATE BAIT

It has been so long since we heard about Travis ngl I already forgot about him

Why is every single person in this show SO OFF THE WALLS I mean I know why but also WHY

This documentary is also a treatise in the flaws of the U.S. prison system and how it sets up people up to fail or re-offend upon release

Take a shot every time a middle-aged man in this show mentions that he casually bought himself a big cat as a teen

“Joe was the entertainment director.... by title” I don’t think this was meant to be a burn but what a burn

I am almost certain I WATCHED that Last Week Tonight episode during that election and if u told me that 4-5 years later I would be rewatching that clip in a documentary about this man’s journey to being convicted for murder then I cannot say I wouldn’t be surprised but I would probably believe it

Also I have to wonder what John Oliver thinks about being part of this

[“Beyonce?” voice] Shaun Majumder?

Sidenote: Until this exact moment I thought of Shaun Majumder as Ben Mulroney even though Brian Mulroney is white as hell I guess I have faceblindness but only for Canadian talkshow personalities

I have been aware of this before now but the fact you can buy a GUN at a Walmart what in the FUCK is U.S.A. doing

Man does this campaign manager really want to take ownership of anything Joe Exotic has ever done

Ngl I was wondering why someone who had at one point clearly had a lot of money seemed to have such poor dental care access but meth certainly does explain it

I mean people can be attracted to both men and women (hello) but since Joe was fuelling their drug addictions since they were teenagers attraction is at best a null factor and at worst an added layer of terrible to this whole mess

It’s hard to even respond to this in a meaningful way because this is so fucked up. Don’t own guns.

“That was a big fucking mistake,” he said, right after someone explained that he was driving large groups of people in an enclosed space in a busy city with wild animals that could maim or kill them

Padlock penls piercing really does not seem like a first date bombshell

“We went to dinner and he never went home” well if that doesn’t set you with a sense of foreboding

TWO MONTHS AFTER WHAT IN THE HELL OH MY GOD also I hope Dillon is okay

“It wasn’t about the animals anymore” you THINK

“It was sort of funny when they started but it’s gotten really dark” how meta

Of all the reasons Joe could’ve abandoned his zoo, I really didn’t think embezzlement would be what pushed him

“He won’t tell anyone where he’s at, not even me,” said Dial, with no acknowledgement of the fact that Joe is also theoretically still married and would maybe tell his husband???

Oh Dillon spotted??? Yikes get out dude

Take a shot every time a white person who really doesn’t understand where the word “karma” comes from starts talking about karma as if it is the Law of Revenge

The fact this man brings a film crew out with him while he’s on the run evading a federal investigation..... incomprehensible

“Joe just wanted to put it in somebody’s name and continue to be the tiger queen, I mean king,” really REALLY of all the reasons to object to Joe you’re going to choose homophobia wow

Is this about an attempt to have someone murdered or does something happen to Baskin it is very unclear

This documentary has an interesting format of switching focus from crime to crime to crime

“I’ve never been as proud of being married to anyone as I am being married to you” It’s weird to compliment your husband by comparing him to all your other husbands

How is the lesson for Jeff Lowe in this “let’s build another zoo” surely at that point it’s better to just cut your losses

[Garretson voice]: You should pay me for being a bro, dude

“I’m a libertarian, so technically, fuck the Feds,” I’ve never heard an intonation that better suits a conservative millennial

I mean I don’t think it was advisable but honestly why are people surprised Joe took the stand isn’t delusions of grandeur kind of his thing

Sometimes it’s just that they’ve added in other moments to break up the awful immoral crimes with just run of the mill douchebaggery like the nanny/gym thing huh

I guess the silver lining in this is that potentially these big cat zoos will shut down but like where do these animals who have been raised in captivity go??? I don’t trust anyone in this documentary to not exploit them in some way ugh

“Not a single animal benefited from this war,” correct, Saff

“I was wrapped up in having a zoo,” not really an excuse but ok

#tw: literally everything #ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs tiger king #long post #u ever quarantine so hard u watch an entire docuseries in a night #no but seriously it would be hard to warn for everything but proceed with caution #liveblogging

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ageminah · 6 years ago

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Golden Days (pt.1)

I’m doing something a bit different, (no worries, I’m still working on finishing my other fic) I needed a bit of fresh air. So I changed scenery: Here we have young Nikolai and young Zoya as they could have met in the capital when they were teens, its not as sad (its not at all) as my other fic, but I needed a change so hope you still enjoy this one :/

It was winter. He had turned fifteen, and once more, his mother had said no. Every months he tried. He wanted to see the world. Nikolai was just so tired of being locked up in this castle. Sure, it could be worse. But all he wanted, was join the first army, and be with the people, his people. And yet his mother declined him this request. He was trapped in his golden prison.

He was wearing a heavy coat, warm enough to face the snow outside. And ugly enough in order to hide his princely attire, at least from affar. He got out of the castle discretely, and headed for the gardens. At least that’s what he had told his guards, when he’d left his rooms. He had a goal. Nikolai marched toward Little Palace. He wasn’t officially forbidden to go there. But the Darkling didn’t like him being around. Which seemed absurd to Nikolai. How could this man, maybe four years older than him, tell him what to do. a couple of years ago, Nikolai had insisted on trying to fight with a Grisha in training. Nikolai had ended up with a sprained wrist and a broken finger. The king hadn’t liked that. But Nikolai had loved it. Not the pain, no. His wrist still hurt from time to time, but he had loved training with he Grisha. And ever since he tried to convince one to practice with him again. But that had been a difficult task since, neither his father, or the Darkling appreciated his presence at Little Palace.

It was snowing, and since he wasn’t really allowed in Little palace, he’d hoped to catch the Grishas training outside like they so often did. But with this weather, his chances were slim. Still, he would use any excuse to get out of the palace. So he kept going. He hid behind a bush, trying not to get caught by the guards. He failed. « Prince Nikolai, you know you shouldn’t be here. » He turned his head and smiled. « Dimitri! Oh I’m so glad you’re here! Do you know if anyone’s training outside today? » he asked ignoring the guard’s reprimand. « Your highness, I was ordered to bring you back to the palace if I saw you roaming around Little Palace. » Said Dimitri. « Oh come on! You know how bored I am. You know they have my brother teach me now. Please. I need to get out of there ». An understanding look crossed the guard’s face. Everyone knew that Nikolai’s brother wasn’t very fond of him. Dimitri sighed « well, in this weather, most of them train indoors…but, two are training over there » he pointed to Nikolai’s right, behind a small garden house. « But, if I catch you again your highness, I will bring you back » Nikolai responded with a wink and a smile, before heading for the garden.

He heard small screams before he could see them. Recognition hit him as he dove in a bush before he could be seen. The Darkling himself was fighting a Grisha. She was on the ground panting. « Again. » said the Darkling. And she lurched. At first glance they could have been ordinary people fighting, a fist to his side, his foot on her shoulder. And then she grinned and waved him away with a wind gust. He flew back and landed on his feet. She was out of breath. She turned around and Nikolai caught sight of her face. She was young, his age probably. And she was breathtaking.

Nikolai couldn’t get his eyes off of her, and she, well, she couldn’t get her eyes off of the Darkling. They were speaking. He was scolding. And then he put a hand on her shoulder, and her face radiated. The Darkling took his leave, and left her in the middle of the snow. Whatever he had told her, she wasn’t happy about. With a wave of her wrist, she sent another wind gust, and with it flew the bush Nikolai was hiding in.

He had no hope of her not seeing him, as he was, quite literally in front of her. She looked to her right, and then to her left. « And who are you? » she said with a frown as she crossed her arms. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Raven black hair, a slight tan to her skin, and eyes as deep as any ocean.

***

She had had stalkers before, but she had thought that with her newly found reputation every boy would be too scared of her to try and follow her around. So who was that strange boy hiding in the bushes, observing her. « You don’t get out much do you? » said the strange boy getting up, he was smiling. No. She didn’t, there was nothing out there for her, not yet. She wasn’t powerful enough. Even with the tiger’s teeth. « You want to try and humor me until I forget you were observing me.” she puffed, annoyed “Who are you, and why on earth were you watching me? » a concern look crossed his face. « Well it is a bit presumptuous of you to think I was watching you. As I have no idea of you are Lady. And I was hiding because I am not entirely allowed to be in Little Palace. » He was not going to tell her who he was. « And why are you not allowed in ? » she said raising an eyebrow and straightening her back. She hoped she was at least a bit threatening. « Well…you see…I’m…I’m not Grishas! » He seemed a bit to enthusiast at that. And the frown was back on her face. There was something about this boy. She felt as if she had seen him before. But if he was’t Grisha, and was not allowed in Little Palace, she had no idea of where they could’ve met. « Why are you here? And who are you non Grisha boy? » she said raising her voice, and immediately regretting it. She hoped the Darkling was back inside so he wouldn’t see her interact with the intruder. « Worried about the boss catching you with a boy? » he said a playful smile on his lips. She was going red, she could feel it. Not of embarrassment, or cold, but of anger. So what if the Darkling caught her speaking with a boy. She spoke with many inside Little Palace, and he never seemed to notice her anyway. « You will leave now. If you are not allowed in Little Palace, you have no business here. » She summoned wind. Enough to get their hair moving, she just wanted to scare him away.The only issue, was that he didn’t seem scared at all, he was…fascinated. His head was facing the sky as he looked at the snow flakes swirling around them.

***

They were in a snow storm, in one of her making. It was gorgeous. He heard a noise to his left, it was the end of his excursion. Dimitri had found him. «Zoya. » said Dimitri nodding to the Grisha. « Dimitri. » she answered dryly. « Are you here to recover the intruder? » she asked. « Absolutely » he said smiling. Then he turned to Nikolai. « I told you your highness. If I caught you again, you would be going back to the castle » said Dimitri. « Alright alright, after you. » responded Nikolai. As he went with Dimitri, he turned back to the girl, Zoya. And she was livid. Your highness, she mouthed. And he winked at her. Her hands flew to her mouth. And when she took them off, she wasn’t embarrassed as he might have expected. She smiled a mischievous grin, and waved him away with a rude gesture. He laughed. It was refreshing. Then she left too, heading for Little Palace.

He was prince in his castle, but something told him that she was Grisha royalty in her Little Palace. And that this was not the last time their path would cross.

#zoyalai #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #Grishaverse #fanfic #fanfiction

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losille2000 · 8 years ago

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Good Intentions, Prologue

Alright. So here’s the story on this one. I started writing this a long time ago in the Alexander Skarsgard fandom. I didn’t get very far, then I let it go a few years, and I got back to it and realized I’d grown a lot as a writer, and the writing wasn’t that great. I put it away... now six years later and I’m jonesing for a historical/Regency thing to write--one I already have planned and don’t need to plan so I’m not starting a new story. Rather, I’m just rewriting an old one.

This is the prologue. If you like it and want to see more, let me know. Seriously. I’ll just keep it to myself if people aren’t interested in it, but I’d like to share it if you want to read it.

My sole caveat for this story is this: It’s dark. We’re talking Black Jack Randall levels of messed up. Like implied non-con, abuse, etc. Very triggery in the beginning, but nothing explicitly depicted. This isn’t your normal Regency/Austen fare. As a whole, I don’t think it’ll be a sexy story like I’m used to writing, but the dark bits in it will make it mature and, perhaps, difficult for some to read.

Prologue

Mr. George Aubrey was a man of no little consequence. As a true country gentleman with one child and no living wife—and an estate of modest wealth—he enjoyed many of life’s more luxurious offerings, not at all limited to the most sinful of vices. He preferred drink and prostitute to dice and cards, but he regularly frequented establishments offering all the finest diversions from the otherwise dull country life of a man with nothing better to do than spend his money.

More than one society economist agreed on the virtue of saving rather than spending, especially for the years when failed crops meant meager living from crofter all the way up to landlord. Mr. Aubrey, unfortunately, had little concern for such matters, his lust for vice knowing no equal.

In a moment of startlingly stark sobriety, however, he considered that perhaps he should have had more care for his money. Had he not deposited such a fortune into ol’ Bessie’s skirts, he would not have woken in a damp room, face down in a half-frozen accumulation of unspeakable filth—liberally mixed together with spilled ale leaking from the taproom floorboards overhead.

His skull nearly split in two as he blinked and tried to right himself, but the heavy irons on his wrists were cumbersome and prohibited some movement. He rolled onto his back to face the stone-and-wooden ceiling. Cold liquid dribbled into his eye.

“Oi, ‘enry!” called a voice. “ ‘e’s awake!”

Aubrey turned at the sound of the voice. A beast of a man balanced on an aged oak cask, his gnarled face half hidden in shadow. Giant filthy fingers deftly worked a small dagger to wheedle a piece of wood. The man flashed a wicked smile, a line of yellow with black holes were teeth had once been.

Aubrey shuddered, as the identity of his captor slowly wriggled its way out of the haze of drink and concussion. Tommy was, after all, the meanest and vilest of Henry Beaumont’s lot of enforcers; Aubrey wondered how he had survived this long.

“Glad you could join us, ol’ Georgie-boy,” he said. “Sleep well?”

“Like a babe, Tommy,” Aubrey answered him, though he was not certain whether he had been sleeping or simply knocked out cold. Considering the throbbing pain in his head, he wagered the latter.

Aubrey grunted and clutched his head when the sound of metal scraping on the floor filled the small chamber. Beaumont stepped into the room and into clear view, well dressed and dandy, clearly not happy with the situation presented to him.

“Where’s my money, Aubrey?” Beaumont asked, removing his gloves and adjusting the signet ring on his small finger. The scant lamp light caught the movement, igniting the gold ring and the Beaumont crest imprinted in it.

Aubrey harrumphed. It left quite the unflattering bruise the last time he’d seen it.

“What money?” Aubrey inquired.

Beaumont’s rage concentrated in his fist when it struck Aubrey’s cheek. Aubrey collapsed like a ragdoll, the metallic, bitter taste of blood welling in his mouth. He struggled upright again, spitting on his abductor’s fine leather boots. Beaumont kicked his ribs in response, drawing all the air from his lungs.

Beaumont stood over him and grasped the front of his shirt, pulling him close to his face. “You know what I’m talking about. You said you would have it to me a fortnight ago. Now, I was more than generous, gave you more time, and you still don’t have it. What am I to think, Aubrey?”

Aubrey hung his head. What defense did he have? Nothing. Why compound matters by voicing it?

“I’m not surprised,” Beaumont said, releasing his grasp on Aubrey’s shirt; Aubrey collapsed onto his arthritic elbows with a sickening crunch. The younger, lean man began pacing in marked steps around the small cell, somewhat like that tiger he’d once seen at a menagerie in London. Give Beaumont a few black stripes and fearsome teeth—he might as well be one with all his growling.

Beaumont stopped, froze in his spot and snapped his attention back to Aubrey. “Bess and Lulu’s attentions are not cheap, are they?”

“Just give me more time,” Aubrey pleaded. “I’ll have it to you. It’s nearly Michaelmas—”

Beaumont laughed at him and shook his head. “You shouldn’t fool yourself into thinking that the paltry profit from your land rents will do anything to satisfy your debt. Quarter day or not, you will still owe a considerable sum, to me and to others. And the others will not be as gracious as I have been.”

“What do you expect me to do, then?” Aubrey asked. “Will you kill me and be done?”

“Now, Georgie, why would I ever want to do that?” Beaumont asked. “If I kill you, I’ll never see a return on my investment. And should I send you to Marshalsea, you might only accrue more debt to your name!”

Aubrey shuddered at the mention of the debtor’s prison. He’d been thrown there once before; returning was not a viable option.

“What, then?” Aubrey asked.

Beaumont cracked a smile of ivory teeth—the type of arrogant smirk no man could mistake as being genuine or kind. “Work off the debt for me.”

Aubrey looked down at his lamed leg. The surgeon did his best to repair the damage as a young man and the injury new, but Aubrey never recovered full use of it. Age had only worsened the damage. As it was, he could barely sit a horse for any length of time—just long enough to travel from home to tavern.

“You know I cannot work.”

“Ah,” said Beaumont. “I thought you might say that. You do have a child, though, that could work for you.”

“No!”

The man’s cold eyes glimmered. Beaumont enjoyed this game. “Aye, her.”

“She is good and humble, Beaumont. She doesn’t deserve such a fate,” he said. How he had ever raised a daughter like her, he would never know.

Beaumont glowered and stepped closer. “It’s ‘my lord’ to you, Aubrey.”

“You cannot have her.”

“What’s stopping me?” Raising a booted foot, the horrible man stepped on Aubrey’s knee, turning it out and applying his weight. Aubrey shrieked at the blinding pain, stars bursting before his eyes. “Will you stop me?”

Aubrey sucked in a breath and maneuvered out of his discomfort, but he couldn’t form words lest he lose his last meal on Beaumont’s boots.

“Give her to me and it will settle your debts. And think—without another to care for, it leaves you that much more to spend in my gambling halls.”

Aubrey was ashamed that the thought of such a thing was not entirely unappealing to his sensibilities. Daughters were so very expensive to maintain.

“I have plans to have her married off soon,” Aubrey protested, but even he had to acknowledge the argument sounded feeble on his lips. She was no nearer a proposal than he was to repaying Beaumont with actual coin. But he figured he ought to do his Christian duty as a father to his daughter, at least, in trying to resist him. Even if it wouldn’t matter in the end. Beaumont had made up his mind long before he’d come here.

A fleeting chill of concern shook him from the base of his spine to his head. What if Beaumont already had her?

Beaumont’s dark eyes narrowed at him. “What man would want her with no money to bring to the marriage? There won’t be any place for her to go but the poor house or the whore house with a degenerate like you as her father.”

Aubrey bristled at the notion and used the energy to push the man away and stand up. He leaned on his good leg, wincing as another shooting pain coursed through the lame one. Beaumont stepped closer again, until Aubrey could feel the man’s hot breath on his face. He smelled of fancy French cologne that was as horrible as the stench on the ground. Of course, if he wished to smell like Napoleon’s army, that was his choice, but Aubrey would not have made the same one. Pride for king and country and all that.

“She’s a pretty thing, isn’t she?” Beaumont asked. “If she’s as pure as they say, she’ll pay off all of your debts and then some.”

Aubrey lunged at him, but tripped over his feet and caught himself on the stone wall. “Please don’t take her. She won’t go willingly.”

Beaumont snorted and laughed as though the notion were ridiculous. “She can be broken, just like you.”

“You don’t know her.”

“You don’t know me.” Beaumont’s fist connected with his gut. Aubrey once again fell against the wall and clung to it with all the strength he could muster. He must remain upright, retain some dignity. Beaumont stepped back, giving him another conceited smirk as he replaced the gloves on his hands. He turned on his toes with a precision only a military man could emulate. “Tommy, make sure he gets home.”

“Aye, boss,” he said. “Wha’ of the girl?”

“I’ll handle the girl,” Beaumont said as he retreated up the uneven stone steps. He opened the door and closed it behind him with a decisive thud.

Aubrey turned to the enforcer, noting the malicious leer stretching his lips and revealing his holey mouth. Tommy cracked the knuckles of his giant hands. It was only then that Aubrey realized this nightmare had not ended when Beaumont left.

It had only just begun.

#good intent #fanfiction #Alexander Skarsgard #alexander skarsgrad fanfic #alexander skarsgard fanfiction

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csjmadhouse · 7 years ago

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“Blue Dynamite” is the debut album from American Metal-Pop band COCAINE + ABEL. Comprised of breakout solo artist Cody St. John and the remnants of Candice Cornell’s self titled bandmates CANDICE, these four men have delivered an album focused on drugs and their effects on human interaction. With all the sounds that made Cody a rising star fused with the band’s signature sound of yesteryear, this one-off will leave people wanting more and is sure to become a classic in its own right. DEVIL’S BITCH Warned me not to sell my soul to the devil Never said I couldn't give it away for free So I went and did just that And now he won't let me be He's got his hands in my pockets And his ears to my door I'm struggling to break free The devil's a pimp And I'm his whore He uses my voice To make him more He abuses my body Until I'm sore Am I even a fucking human Or am I just a slave How'd I become the devil's bitch Am I even fucking breathing Or was that my last breath I just gave How'd I become the devil's bitch How'd I become the devil's bitch? Should'a known he was no good When he had me sign my name in blood Noah would've let him drown If he'd been there for the flood Now he's holding my head Beneath the water Outside this pool These flames grow higher I couldn't be hotter At lease the fire's delivered me From the darkness Am I even a fucking human Or am I just a slave How'd I become the devil's bitch Am I even fucking breathing Or was that my last breath I just gave How'd I become the devil's bitch How'd I become the devil's bitch? C.O.W.B.O.Y. Won't ride in on no white horse Like to let destruction run its course Know you were holding out for a knight Yet you fell for the dragon Now that you've hopped on There's no gettin' off this wagon You want this You want that Can't offer what boys offer you I'm a man Stuck in his head Can't offer what boys offer you They promise this They'll buy you that Can't offer what boys offer you What I can give you is the truth No matter how dark or fucked up it is Can't offer what boys offer you Won't be weighed down by some shining armor I'll bare it all no matter who gets hurt People will call me a monster Ask me how could I harm her How could I hurt him Never pretended to be a saint If you wanted a halo You should've found a man in church Shouldn't have called for me From the gargoyles perch You want this You want that Can't offer what boys offer you I'm a man Stuck in his head Can't offer what boys offer you They promise this They'll buy you that Can't offer what boys offer you What I can give you is the truth No matter how dark or fucked up it is Can't offer what boys offer you RED, WHITE & FUCK YOU Don't care if you fell down from heaven Or you rose up from hell We're all stuck on this rock Living under a deadly spell Fires are blazing Where we once shook hands Now each side's ready For their victory dance Love has been devoured By a soulless hate Understanding is trapped Behind heaven's gate Can we recover Before we crumble Or are we doomed To continue to stumble Let's put down hate While teaching to love Regardless if you believe in nothing Or in the big man above Since birth we've been told to love her America, the brave and rich America, the beautiful and powerful What about America, the corrupt bitch She's turning us on each other So we weaken the collective While she grows stronger She's the parasite, we're the infected We will dine on these ashes While she eats caviar in her castle Each one of us tossed aside Not one of us worth the hassle America isn't our provider America isn't our protector We're supposed to defend each other In times when she's imprisoning defectors Fuck you, America Only offered your lighted torch So you could extinguish it when we needed it Shooting our neighbors from our porch In the dark we can't tell friend or foe apart Trust me, she's not our last hope One-on-one is the best place to begin Together, on three, drop the tug-o-war rope GUILLOTINE Let's burn this fucker to the ground Turn all these laws to ashes and dust Kick them up when I lift my legs Make a street show out of lust Rebels rising from the dirt Made of their own brothers and sisters Trigger happy hands Covered in blisters From so much fighting White knuckles ready To fire at will Gotta save the final bullet For the king of the hill Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine Whatcha gonna do When he comes When he comes for you He wants your head On his platinum platter Grinning ear to ear As your blood splatters Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine You wanna just smile Pretend everything's alright Guess that's what happens When you bring a poster to a knife fight Get mad, get angry It looks so good on a screen But out here on these roads You've gotta be mean Your words won't hurt out here Guess you should've bought a gun Before they took them from the shelves And turned the barrels on us Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine Whatcha gonna do When he comes When he comes for you He wants your head On his platinum platter Grinning ear to ear As your blood splatters Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine See, there's two types of people In a kingdom like this Those with the crown And those who want it Then there's the outliers Bless their little rebel hearts That only want the crown When the king's head is still on it Bloodied and severed So that no one will ever Want that gold on their head Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine Whatcha gonna do When he comes When he comes for you He wants your head On his platinum platter Grinning ear to ear As your blood splatters Whatcha do when the king Holds you down on the guillotine MAKE YOU MISS ME Say you miss my attention Or was it my affection Think you missed my erection Tell me what's your intention Why you showin up here This damn late Looking at me With eyes of hate All I did was settle down Not my fault you weren't around Didn't want me when you had me And now you miss me Ignored my lips day and night Now you wanna kiss me Drove me further into madness You did this to me Ohhhhh you think it hurts now Boy wait till I make you miss me Booo-ooy just wait till I make you miss me Say you missed my face Or was it the lace That I tied 'round your wrists Gave me that look of bliss Well now I've moved on I've fallen in love Won't be your tiger Or gentle dove Only he can feel me now Hope you're here Hope you hear When he screams out loud For the man above Didn't want me when you had me And now you miss me Ignored my lips day and night Now you wanna kiss me Drove me further into madness You did this to me Ohhhhh you think it hurts now Boy wait till I make you miss me Booo-ooy just wait till I make you miss me Shared my name Thought that was good enough To keep me bound to you Let me teach you something new I don't like to beat the horse dead So stop looking at me like that So I don't have to tell you again That I'm walking away my friend It's done, I'm done, we're done Boy it's time you moved on Didn't want me when you had me And now you miss me Ignored my lips day and night Now you wanna kiss me Drove me further into madness You did this to me Ohhhhh you think it hurts now Boy wait till I make you miss me Booo-ooy just wait till I make you miss me DOMINO Shattered windshield and leaking fuel Broken jaw and a pool of drool Empty bottles in his backseat He may have hit me from the side But the first domino Knocked me forward Into a decline Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Threw a pebble into this pond And I lost my cool After the shockwaves Met my spine Caught me in a lie Sayin everything is fine Got bottles of my own Filled with little blue pills I'm the second domino And I'm fallin' for you Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Bruises on your neck Look just like my hand And the hole in the wall Looks just like your head We're all just links In this chain reaction Hopelessly waiting on one to break But this cycle's relentless And there's nothing we can do Soon you'll be the third domino Pretty boy, you're gonna fall too Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! Down we go! Domino! BANG BANG Dreams are for children Aspirations are for teens Work is for adults Don't come to the battlefield If you wanna keep your hands clean There's so much dirt out here I've only just begun to dig Smoke billows from my mouth From one too many cigs You shot your cannon at me Love the way your hole looks in the ground You shot and you missed Now that ball's coming back around   It was a cannonball Now it's a boomerang I flipped my safety off Listen to that bang bang I'm the man behind the smoking gun I'm the man who'll say he won Bang bang   Won't tell you to watch your back Cuz I love a fair fight Don't like to throw punches from behind Like a speeding train you'll see me coming Not a damn thing you can do to stop me These tracks run right beneath your feet Chugga-chugga-choo-choo Can't get off the tracks When the trains coming for you   It was a cannonball Now it's a boomerang I flipped my safety off Listen to that bang bang I'm the man behind the smoking gun I'm the man who'll say he won Bang bang Yeah, I'm a little bit psycho Bet you like it when I bite though Ba-a-a-ang Ba-a-a-ang Bang Bang Bang Ba-a-a-ang Ba-a-a-ang Bang Bang Baaaaaaang  It was a cannonball Now it's a boomerang I flipped my safety off Listen to that bang bang I'm the man behind the smoking gun I'm the man who'll say he won Bang bang     ROCK GOD You painted me these perfect skies Then you brought the overcast With all your clouds of little white lies Think it's funny how you formed the Conditions for the perfect storm With a brush in your red hand Then screamed when the lightning struck Right where you like to stand I'm a tsunami I'll drown you, baby I'm a tornado I'll suck you up, baby I'm the thunder I'll fuck you up, baby I'm the lightning You're the lightning rod That's what happens When you fuck with a rock god You painted me these greener pastures Then used up all your yellow To create a sun so deadly Dried up all the pretty land Killed every flower I could've felt You were my one chance to Break down these walls Now I'll make your cold heart melt I'm a tsunami I'll drown you, baby I'm a tornado I'll suck you up, baby I'm the thunder I'll fuck you up, baby I'm the lightning You're the lightning rod That's what happens When you fuck with a rock god I'm the storm, storm, storm And I'm hanging over you I'm the rain, rain, rain And I'm pouring down on you I'm the hur-ri-ca-ane And I'm spiraling right towards you I'm the rock rock rock god And I'll never share the light with you I'm a tsunami I'll drown you, baby I'm a tornado I'll suck you up, baby I'm the thunder I'll fuck you up, baby I'm the lightning You're the lightning rod That's what happens When you fuck with a rock god ‪BLUE DYNAMITE‬ ‪Confessions of a rockaholic‬ Doin' lines in the back of his Buick Can't find his wallet, that's because I threw it Don't blame me, percs made me do it Might be a cowboy But taught myself how to pharm Been busted twice Forgiven for my southern boy charm Now it's back to the backseat Back to the basement Did someone turn up the heat My face is on fire Told y'all I lost my voice Looks like I'm a liar How many more pills until I'm high? How many more pills until I die? How many more pills until I'm high? How many pills 'till I touch the sky? Another night, another fight Explosion of blue dynamite Got the same stream playing on a loop Pencil tips for pupils eying it up Like I'm seeing it for the first time Making a mark of my favorite parts That I won't even remember Three seconds from now Three seconds from never Will this deliriousness ever end My body is broken My mind is fucked My soul has left me Now I'm wide open Crying out to a god That I don't believe in To rescue me from this hell He does what I knew he'd do He left me here to die God, your love is a lie How many more pills until I'm high? How many more pills until I die? How many more pills until I'm high? How many pills 'till I touch the sky? Another night, another fight Explosion of blue dynamite Oh, the devil won't let me pray No, the devil won't let me pray Devil won't let me pray But lord knows I need a prayer today Oh, the devil won't let me pray No, the devil won't let me pray Devil won't let me pray Cuz he wants to take my soul away How many more pills until I'm high? How many more pills until I die? How many more pills until I'm high? How many pills 'till I touch the sky? Another night, another fight Explosion of blue dynamite APOCALYPTIC IMMINENT DEATH SONG He was strong He was hard World did him wrong So he lost his way Had to keep warm Too scared of suffocating With rubber wrapped around his head Found heat in darker places Warmth housed a plague Won't be long now Till he's dead One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Forces of death knocking at your door One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Letters make you feel like a dirty whore Too ashamed to be with someone Too scared to be alone Stabbed himself With a double edged sword Stared at the ground As his toxic blood poured Save him Lord He never knew your love Your people told him He never could Now he's dying Because he didn't take precautions That he should One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Forces of death knocking at your door One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Letters make you feel like a dirty whore Red ropes held his hands To a bed with a man Whose name he didn't know All for the sake of Scoring blow Now they'll wear Red ribbons to Remember him by Tell me Why Lord, why? One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Forces of death knocking at your door One, Two, Three, Four Horsemen ride into a burning world One, Two, Three, Four Letters make you feel like a dirty whore KING OF THE DAMNED God or gods or goddesses Whichever one of you saved me Thank you for keeping me afloat When I was drowning with a red hand Wrapped around my throat Submerged myself for months on end Thought I'd forgotten how to swim Turns out I was still too scared to drown So instead of sinking to the bottom I took the devil down I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. Big Bang or Eclipse or Full Moon Whatever event put air in my lungs Thank you for reviving me When my veins were flooded With poison from a vile He gave it to me once, That wicked red man Told me it'd clear my head Well it flushed my bad thoughts Right into my blood Knew he'd come back for a sip Forgetting poison would be in it Every time it'd drip I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. I set Satan on fire! I killed the angel of death. I set Satan on fire! I damned the King of the Damned. ©️CRC Entertainment / YM Records / CSJ Madhouse

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