#[sigh] I'm glad to be here but it's just... a lot
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lemon-zest-art · 3 days ago
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Faster Than You - Sonadow
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A/N - i know i posted hours ago but i really want here and AO3 to be at the same place lmao
Feel free to comment or make any fanart and tag me! I hope you guys are enjoying so far :3
Ch.3
Silver couldn't help the eye roll, feeling a small elbow hit his side as he did so. Turning to look at blaze that was giving him a certain look, causing him to gulp lightly and put back on a soft smile.
They both looked at Sonic, and couldn't help but feel a bit out of place as everyone kept stopping the blue blur for pictures and signatures.
Sonic on the other hand tried his best to use these interactions as a way to distract himself from his earlier fantasies, which wasn't entirely unsuccessful one could say, at least he wasn't in Greek land anymore.
He would talk a bit, sign whatever object or body part that was asked and then pose for the camera. A routined action he only got used to doing after such a long time of being in the business. He suddenly felt a daring glaze coming from his two friends, and as a result excused himself from the crowd and went to join his friends.
Silver had gotten the three of them a nice table, further away from the crowd where they could actually enjoy some time without being flustered by others every two seconds. This bar was known to be frequented by popular people, they were lucky enough to have a reserved area for the racers. Greeting a couple of other racers they knew on their way to their seats. The barmaid offered them drinks on the house.
Sonic couldn't be any more glad, what better than a couple of drinks to help his uncommon problem?
As he put his hand out to grab the free drink, Silver placed his hand on top of sonic’s.
"Dude, we're not here to watch yourself get wasted"
Sonic scoffed slightly
"Calm down man, it's just a drink!" He said with his classic smile, sliding over the other two drinks to his friends.
"I just wanted to get out with my two best friends! My buddies! My amigos!"
Blaze rubbed her temples a bit as she sighed
"This can't end well..."
[...]
A couple hours went by, and luckily the trio was actually having a lot of fun. Reminiscing of the past, laughing and genuinely spending quality time together.
"I'm gonna go grab more drinks, be right back" sonic mentioned as Silver was going on and on about some childhood story. Blaze nodded towards the blue blur, as if to confirm she heard him. But as sonic got off his seat, not only did he realise how much he actually had to drink, but instantaneously noticed a very recognizable jacket sitting by the bar. Immediately his face turned pink, images of grapes and white robes filling his mind as his audible 'gulp' could be heard. He did his best to control his breathing as he walked towards the bar.
And there he was, in flesh and so close he could smell the fresh odor of his perfume.
‘So not only does he get to be hot, but he smells good? This shouldn't be legal’
He couldn't help but notice the sweet hints of cinnamon emanating from him. Making it much more difficult than it is to order such a simple drink, stealing a few glances every few seconds. In his mind he was being oh so subtle about it, but the drinks and nervousness was showing otherwise. Any more and we’d start seeing actual beads of sweat gliding down his face and neck. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jacket, succeeding to order his drink as the barmaid left to make it.
He had to say something, anything to him. This was the right moment to do so. He let a small cough out of nervousness, finally opening his mouth to speak when suddenly-
"So, you're finally gonna say something?"
Interrupted Shadow, a small smirk posing on his lips as he took a small sip of his drink. Sonic blinked his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to say something
"Ah..e..euh- i’m sorry what?" Was the best he could get out. Mentally slapping himself at such a pitiful answer.
He waited for shadow to follow up with something, anything- but his drink got there and shadow still hasn't followed up. Sonic huffed lightly, grabbing his drink and turning around to go back to his friends.
"Yknow, it's bad for your reputation to stalk others." Shadow yapped, turning around to finally face the blue racer who had his back towards him.
Sonic slightly growled out of anger, sluggishly replying
"You're really annoying yknow-.... that..."
Unfortunately once again losing all credibility as he turned around, about to let Shadow have it but being immediately flustered by the scene before him. Not only did he not expect to be as close as they were, but the other surely was putting on a show for him. In his left hand he held his drink, the right arm holding his weight as he leaned onto the bar. His legs slightly ajared on each side of his chair as he looked directly into Sonic's eyes, the kind of action Shadow would put fault on the alcohol. Taking another sip as he looked directly into the other's emerald eyes, waiting for the blue hedgehog to continue with his thoughts. Instead all that could be heard was Sonic's thoughts accidentally leaving his mouth as he scratched the back of his neck
"oh.. crap"
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axolotlwrites · 11 hours ago
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Transference (And It's Unique Applications) [NSFW]
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GN!Drifter!Reader x Amir Beckett (NSFW, again.)
"His body slumps against the couch. His head moves, eyes narrowing in worry. “Drifter? Are you in there?” His hand moves without input, a cheeky thumbs up. “Mhm. Just getting used to it, puppy.” At that, he whines. He's weak to pet names like that."
Good to be back, even better to be writing more Warframe.
CW: Possession (sorta), handjob, reader's genitals nor pronouns are mentioned, cumplay, slight orgasm denial, formatted for mobile, so might be weird, and not beta read lol
“Are you sure about this, Amir?” Your voice was soft against his neck, a hand gently stroking his chest as you were cradled up in his lap. “I know you want to get some tension out, but we could always do it the old-fashioned way.”
His fingers rapped against your sides, as his leg rapidly shook, up and down, up and down. “I know, b-but I need that comfort. I need to feel you. Like you, you, you know?”
You nodded, hand settling against his cheek. “I get you. But once we start, I’ll have almost full control of your body. Every aching muscle, every anxious joint.” You guided his face, focusing his gaze on your eyes. “That's a lot of power over you. And I'm glad you trust me with it, but are you sure that is really what you want right now?”
He nodded again, hastily. A flash of irritation crosses his face, eyes clenched. “I know what I want. Just… please.”
Sol, he looked like he was hurting. The anxiety that filled him, sat in his chest like an anvil, weighing his heart and lungs down, barely letting him breathe. You leaned in, lips just barely apart from his. “Safeword?” You whisper, breath running along his lips. “On-lyne!” He smiles, just a little bubbly.
You nod, gently pressing your lips to his… before disappearing into thin air. In the millisecond between the dissipation of your body, and the twitch that runs along his brain, there's an intangible silence… and a whisper.
His body slumps against the couch. His head moves, eyes narrowing in worry. “Drifter? Are you in there?” His hand moves without input, a cheeky thumbs up. “Mhm. Just getting used to it, puppy.” At that, he whines. He's weak to pet names like that.
You gently take stock if his body, back arching as you stretch and stand, before gently leaning back on the couch. “Would you like a specific position for this, Amir? Laying, sitting, legs in the air and violently shaking?” You giggled, in the back of his mind. He smiles, nerves starting to abade, as though your voice surrounds him in warmth. “Up to you, future. Just… do this quick, okay? That's how… how I always do it.”
At that, he feels an involuntary frown come up on his face. You didn't like that, didn't like that at all. Then, like a voice in the back of his head, you spoke. “I'm gonna take my time with you, Amir. I know I joked about wanting to make love at nine thousand miles per hour, but… not right now. You gotta take it slow for me.”
Slowly, you reach out with one hand, taking the zipper of the glove into it, and peeling the glove off in full. You do the same with the other, as you gently rub Amir's hands on his thighs, getting the feel for the dual sensation.
You can feel the muscles ache in his body, the involuntary twitching lighting his body on fire. You could feel his impatience, his little despair at the thought of having to take it slow, but you could just as easily feel the ache in his loins. Your loins. You stopped for a second to parse the exact phrasing you would use for this, and he whined. “Please, Drifter. I'm… I'm desperate here.”
A sigh left his mouth, a distinct sense of mischief crossing his mind. That was a very bad idea, he thought. “Very bad indeed,” you replied. “Beg for me. Beg me to touch you, Amir.” You scooted his body back up onto the couch, using his hands to slowly, painfully, pull down his… pants, for lack of a better term. As soon as you moved his pants down far enough, his cock sprung from its cage, dribbling softly.
“There you are…” you whispered, cradling his mind like you were whispering in his ear. “There's the tool I was looking for. Delicious, as usual. It's a shame though, that I won't be getting to play with it.” You forced him to stare at his own cock, twitching and drooling. His head fell back, body arching slightly, as if squirming in pain. “Not unless you beg like I know you can.”
His teeth ground against each other, as he tried to stop himself, but it all came tumbling out. “PleaseIneedyoutogetmeoffpleasepleaseplease-” Suddenly, his mouth shut closed, his voice muffled, akin to clamping your hand over his mouth. He didn't understand. He was doing what you asked. Wasn't that enough?
“Cohesive, Amir. Say it slowly. I know what you're saying. But I want you to say it.” Tears stung at his eyes, as his jaw finally relaxed, a small exhale leaving from the bottom of his throat as he spoke again. Slow. Steady. Measured. “Please. I just… I need you to touch me, make me touch myself. Whatever. I can't handle this torture…”
He was so busy regaining his composure, controlling his breathing… he was almost surprised by the feeling of his hand wrapping around his cock, and slowly beginning to stroke. It twitched in his grasp, the muscles of a phantom gently moving under his skin.
“There we go. Does that feel better, dear? That feel good?” He nodded violently, his head leaning back once more, as your combined efforts tangled under his fingers.
You set the pace, but it was his hand that moved.
He whimpered, stroking slowly from base to tip. A little nudging, and his thumb rubbed on the underside of his head, teasing at the frenulum. “Nice and steady,” you whispered, the ghost of a hand running across his chest sending a shiver down his skin, “it feels so much better, doesn't it? The teasing, the aching… the throbbing.”
Amir tries his best not to moan, but nothing stops you from making him open his mouth, letting all the sounds spill out from his soul. “So loud… you think Eleanor can hear you? Arthur, Lettie? Quincy? They might be hearing you, letting me pilot your body, jerking you to completion…”
Amir's head lolls down, glasses gently falling off from his face, and onto the cushion. A hand glides into his hair, guided by invisible muscle, as it grips the scalp. Moans slip from his mouth like honey, spilling out into the air. A phantom echo of pleasure rips across his body, as his hand is allowed to move just a bit faster.
“There we go. Just a bit more. Come on…” The pleasure is almost too much for him. This was an experience, unique, one of a kind. And it was all for him. The hand stroked faster. It was at a pace he was used to, but at an intensity he couldn't even fathom.
He felt so warm. Like your body was wrapped around his. Like you weren't next to him, or inside of him, but all around him in one big hug.
Amir's back began to arch, his hips rising into the air, as his hand was allowed to move even faster. You whispered in his mind, sweet affirmations, how good he was, how obedient… quickly bringing him to the edge of climax.
As he shivered on the edge of climax, mind racing and breaking under your guidance… he suddenly felt cold. Very cold. Before a second hand wrapped around his cock.
You sat on your knees in front of him, jerking him off, your lips against his cock as you pressed kisses to his tip. Even more so arousing was his glasses, perched on your nose, enclosing your eyes.
“Cum, Amir. Cum on my face. Don't hold back… let all that build-up finally come out.” You spoke softly, barely a word out of breath or out of line. Calm. Collected. Loving. “Cum.”
And that he did. He spilled ropes of seed onto your face, plastering not just his glasses, but your entire face in his load. It spilled from his cock like a tap, as he arched and moaned and whined so prettily for you.
Finally, as his load dribbled from his cock, barely dripping from the slit, you stood. He didn't even have the energy to look at you, exhaustion taking him. He almost didn't notice, as you leaned in, pressing his cum-covered glasses back onto his nose and leaving a soft kiss on his cheek.
“I'm gonna go get cleaned up, Amir. You know where to find me.” And at that, like it was nothing at all… you walked away. He chuckled softly, nuzzling in the towel that had materialized next to him.
Transference was fun.
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waynes-multiverse · 2 days ago
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Right??! I love some Shaw drama 😂
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And honestly, if you do get the books, get the eBook version and use the search for what you want to find because they're looong lol (unless you really want to read them and Colter's current case 😅). I mostly used them for research, but I got really hooked on some parts then 😂 I did read the third in its entirety. I'm really curious where the show is going because in the books, their mom is a lot nicer and less sus loll ➡️ But if you ever wanna know something specific, ask away 😉
Ahh so him wanting to solve his father's murder is what drove him to distance himself from his wife and kids, in order to help him reconcile with Colter. It does make sense, even if it is heartbreaking.
My headcanon was that Russell naturally would have some childhood trauma and would've probably realized more what was going on than his younger siblings (sorta like Dean lol). But my thought was that having kids would probably trigger some subconscious fears, and due to the paranoia he experiences through his job, he seems like someone who would've worried a lot he'd become like his father, so reconnecting with his siblings was a way to close those old wounds and finally move on. No idea if that makes sense, but here we are 😂
Solving the murder was more a means to end for him because he assumed Colter wouldn't believe him without evidence. But you can tell Russell is still a bit in denial about some things and clearly thinks it's better to just leave it be. Luckily, reader and Colter won't let him lol
I was literally just wondering about how he views his mom in all of this. She literally let Colter believe Russell had something to do with Ashton's fall, and then basically told him to get gone. What kind of mother does that? She seems very suss in all of this.
Like I said above, I'm extremely curious what the show is doing because they give us these crumbs that don't match the books 👀
LMAO. I don't know who Manny is, but I already love him! 😂
Manny is the best and sweetest character in all of this. He jumped straight from the prequel to say hi 😂
LOL God, Russell isn't good at this, is he? It's tough to say which one of the Shaw boys got more childhood related trauma affecting their ability to communicate, let alone be emotionally available. 😭
Oh, he really isn't 😆 And I do think Russell is more socially awkward but craves company/family, whereas Colter is smoother talking to people but prefers to be alone lol
Oh my God, Russ… I wasn't expecting you to take it there, but it's an understandable consequence of his PSTD, especially for him as a soldier. It also explains why she picked up Lewis and left him to pull himself together.
I thought a long time about it, but I figured he would at least have some mild PTSD, and (in this story lol) it amplified the childhood trauma. I figured that would make sense for him. And reader packing the kids and leaving was supposed to mirror his childhood and own mother a little. I think in the end, Russell even admired her (and loved her more) for leaving because she put the kids first, and he probably wished his mother had done the same 🥲💔
Ooh again with those lies of omission...
Oh, it never stops with him 😂
But I'm glad Colter and Russell are getting just as much of an honest heart-to-heart as Russ and the reader did. 💜
Aww, glad you enjoyed that! I so wanted to give them a real and honest conversation since the show still hasn't really done that. *sighs* hooray for fanfics! 😂🩵
The Exit Strategy – Part 4
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Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader
Warnings: 18+, language, fluff, some angst & feels, family secrets, spy stuff, a bit of spiciness
Word Count: 6.5k
A/N: Welcome back, friends! We're diving a bit into Shaw family secrets this week – fully Wayne's version, though. While I did read the books, there's no major spoilers**, so don't you worry. I just played with an idea here 🤓 I also won't be fully diving into the Shaw family life, but some things are heavily hinted to be... fishy here 👀 Enjoy & let me know what you think! 🤍
**There's a small part where Russell tells Colter about their parents. It's mentioned in the books that their mother was a psychiatrist. I took that and ran with it 🤷‍♀️
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List
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Part 4: This Is Not an Exit
“You’ve been walking down memory lane a lot tonight,” you teased with a nudge of his ribs, still tightly cuddled in his warm embrace in the freezing basement.
“Haven’t you?”
“No, I have,” you admitted with a melancholic sigh. “Maybe we should stop dwelling on the past so much. Think more about the future…”
Russell scoffed a small chuckle. “Dory said something similar not that long ago. Actually the reason why I came here.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, his fingers absently drawing circles on your arm. “I think it’s time we retire, sweetheart. I mean, after everything we’ve been through, I think we deserve to, right? You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning, and I’m surprised we’re even still here, considering how many war zones we’ve been in.”
“Well, you know what they say – beware the old soldier because he’s old for a reason,” you said with a smile.
“Yeah, think I might be getting a little too old…” Russell chucked lightly, running a hand through his long hair. “So? What d’you think? One last hurrah, and then we hang this up? I was thinking maybe we could open up a brewery, you know? A family place. Bet the kids would love it.”
“Sounds nice,” you said with a yearning smile. You wanted all of that and more. “I’d love to retire with you.”
“But?”
You laughed slightly at his anticipating look. “But I don’t think you can yet.”
His eyebrows drew together till they met above the bridge of his freckled nose. “What d’you mean? I just told you I’m ready.”
“You say you are, but you aren’t,” you replied like the annoying Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. “Have you solved the murder yet?”
Russell licked his lips, which was his telltale sign that you caught him there. After all, you knew him better than anyone in this world – knowing when he needed to be pushed and shoved was part of it.
“No, but I don’t need to anymore. Look, the only reason I wanted to solve it was because I thought I had to prove my innocence to Colter. And well, turns out I didn’t. He believed me anyways, so…”
“That wasn’t the only reason,” you reminded him with a scrutinizing look.
“Maybe, but like I said – Dory thinks we should keep all this bullshit in the past, and after the last three years, I’m starting to agree with her,” Russell said, dragging a hand over his face.
“Look, if that’s what you want–”
“It’s what I want,” he assured you and placed a hand on your thigh, gently squeezing it. “Having my little brother and sister back is enough. I don’t need more. Nothing good ever comes from being greedy.”
You nodded in understanding, clearing your throat. “Still, in the name of our deal to always be honest, I kinda have to confess something.”
Rising from your seat, you dusted off your awful, flowery skirt and wandered to the wall safe once more, retrieving a thick folder from it. You took your place next to Russell again, his questioning eyes meeting yours as you handed him your research.
“When you didn’t come back after a year or so, I started looking into it as well. Might have done a full deep-dive,” you admitted with a bite of your lip.
Russell shot you a chiding look, shaking his head, but most of all, he was worried. “I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know what sorta people we’re dealing with here, but we do know they’re dangerous.”
“I know. I just wanted to help. Figured I could speed it along. I do have more access than you,” you countered softly. “I’m sorry, okay? But I was careful. I promise.”
“Good,” he said and looked at you, interlacing your fingers with his. “‘Cause the last thing I want is losing you over this bullshit, too.”
Nodding, you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “There’s something you should know, though.” He raised his brow anew – you’d always been full of surprises. Life certainly had never been boring. “Someone accessed the files after me.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Definitely had a higher clearance than me, though,” you replied.
Russell threw his arms up, and you could see he was getting more upset again. “See? This is what I’m talking about! The whole point of us separating was to keep you and the kids away from it. Otherwise, we could’ve just stayed together, and I could’ve joined Horizon anyways.”
“I know that, too,” you said remorsefully. “But don’t worry. I wasn’t followed, and no one ever came after me. I made sure of it. It’s been two years now. They probably figured it was nothing after I didn’t reach out to you straight away.”
“Still… I don’t want you involved, alright?”
“What about Colter? Doesn’t he want to know? He doesn’t strike me as someone who just lets things go,” you noted observantly.
Russell clicked his tongue – a sign of defeat. “He isn’t, but he’s not gonna find anything either. I mean, the only reason I know is because you were so relentless and kept digging.”
“You haven’t told him what we found out?”
Russell licked his lips and admitted quietly, “No. I don’t think it does anyone any good to keep looking into this.”
Leaning forward and hugging your knees, your head bobbed pensively. “I thought you guys talked about what happened?”
“We did. Kinda… It’s complicated,” he stated, swallowing. “Dory was easy, you know? I guess she never really believed it… But it took a while till Colter even picked up the phone, let alone answered a goddamn text message. Had to get a little annoying.”
You smirked. “Well, you’re good at that. That’s how you won me over.”
“By being persistent?”
“Exactly. Like a tardigrade.” You grinned. “I mean, you kind of are doing it now again, too.”
He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, guess so.”
“Is that why you haven’t told him about me and the kids? Because you’re not sure about him yet?”
“Partially, yeah,” he admitted. “I guess I wanted to protect you. And maybe myself a little, too… Not sure I’m ready for those two worlds to meet yet, you know? I mean, you and the kids are the best things that ever happened to me, and when I look at Colter or Dory, I’m sometimes reminded of the worst things in my life.”
“What about your mother?”
Russell let out an exhaustive sigh that was half amused. “Geez, you haven’t changed a bit. You still ask the most uncomfortable questions possible.”
You laughed a little. “Gathering intelligence in uncomfortable ways is kind of my job, Shaw.”
“Yup, and no one’s better at it than you, sweetheart,” Russell quipped.
“So I’m guessing it’s a no on Mommie Dearest?”
Russell licked his lips, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna see her. Mostly because I don’t even know what to fucking say anymore,” he said. “I don’t want her to meet the kids either.”
“It’s okay,” you assured him and took his hand in yours. “It’s your choice, Russ. We go at your pace, alright?”
“Thank you.” Russell brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand before he looked at you deeply, a smile dancing across his plump lips. “I love you.”
You mirrored his smile, your heart fluttering like a wild butterfly in your chest. “I love you, too.”
“I’ll tell them – Dory and Colter. I want this to work,” he promised. “Just… after we finish this. I want him to have a clear head. I prefer not to get him killed, you know?”
“I get it. I thought the same thing when I first met you, too,” you joked, patting his chest. “But you brought him into this. It’s kinda on you.”
Russell scratched his bearded chin. “Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know what I’d bring him into.”
“Didn’t you, though?”
Amused, Russell bobbed his head. “Yeah, maybe I did,” he acknowledged. “You know, when Manny called me–”
Your eyes widened. “Manny called you?”
Russell blinked at you, brow creased in confusion. “Yeah, why?”
“That motherfucker…”
Furiously, you stomped to the desk and grabbed the radio. “Drone-5. This is Queen Bee-1. Report to Hive.”
The static of the radio cracked almost instantly, as if the idiot had been waiting all night for this call. “Yo, Queen Bee-1. How’s my boy?” Manny’s laugh echoed through the basement.
Russell’s glowing cheeks reached his eyes when he heard his friend’s voice. He’d known the guy almost as long as Doug.
“You’re the one who fucking told him?!” you yelled into the radio, almost crushing the device in your hand.
“To be fair, I told him not to engage with tango,” Manny sheepishly replied.
“Ha-ha, funny. Fuck you,” you huffed and tossed Russ the walkie-talkie. He caught it with one hand.
His boyish grin widened as he pushed the button. “You know, Drone-5, you could’ve told me you were actually working this thing.”
“Aw, you know I can’t do that. But I guess congrats on crashing another operation. You’re Worker Bee-3 now. Old habits die hard, huh?” Manny chuckled.
“Yeah, I guess…” Russell replied with a lighthearted chuckle, but his teeth tugged pensively at his lips.
“Great to have you back, brother. Hope this works out for you. See you on the other side, man. Oh, and could you move like three feet to the left and turn the washer off? We can barely hear and see you guys, and Drone-2 just ran out to grab popco–”
“No, absolutely not. Out,” you snapped as you grabbed the radio from Russ. He laughed as you put it furiously back on the desk. You knew what you had signed up for, but you still deserved some privacy. Annoyed, you took off your cross necklace – another bug – and settled down beside him again.
“What did he say when he called you?”
“Nothing much, really. Just told me your coordinates and that you like to pick up your mail at three o’clock at the local post office,” Russell replied.
You shook your head, smiling. “Well, he always loved you, so…” You started to chew on your lower lip, the anxiety in your belly returning. For the sake of your mind and heart, you had to make sure Russell was fully back, and this wasn’t just a fluke. “You know, I worry sometimes that if you don’t face this thing with your family, you’ll always feel this way. I mean, after Lewis was born–”
“I know.” Russell nodded, swallowing thickly. He saw the worry shimmering in your eyes, and it cracked his heart a little. “I know I kinda lost it there. Took me by surprise, too. Trust me. Figured I had dealt with all that shit already, you know? But I guess seeing you with him and feeling all that love myself, I just-… I don’t know. I don’t know how she could do it… Ashton was one thing, but she just stood by. And I don’t even know what the hell she was up to while he took us out into those woods…” He shook his head as if to rattle the answer out of his brain. “And then when we found out you were pregnant again… I mean, I’d barely held it together with Lewis. Everything just became a blur. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I worried all the time I’d be like them…”
“I tried to help,” you said softly.
“I know you did. Guess this was just something I had to figure out on my own,” he replied with a beat shrug.
“How’s your vision now? Still blurry?”
“Clearer than ever.” A smile flickered alive on his lips, green eyes boring into yours as he leaned in and kissed you slowly like he meant every word. Blowing a raspberry, he then turned his attention to the file in his lap. “So, what am I gonna find in there?”
“Honestly, nothing we haven’t already puzzled together,” you replied, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip. “But I found a couple of names associated with your parents. Thought maybe you could look at them and see if you recognize the person you saw in the woods.”
“I already know where this is going…”
“Russ, please, just–”
Russell interrupted you, placing a soothing palm on your thigh that curbed your enthusiasm. “I’ll think about it, alright?”
Satisfied, you raised two placating hands. “All I was asking…”
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“How was the lasagna?”
After four hours in the basement, you and Russell quietly treaded up the stairs a few minutes after midnight, finding Colter in the kitchen, eating leftovers out of the ceramic form in the warm glow of the stove light. Tom, on the other hand, had passed out on the couch, only the blue flickers of the TV and the soft noises of a peaceful nature documentary filling the silence of the dark living room.
“Excellent,” Colter stated, swallowing down a mouthful of lasagna before speaking. “I told Tom he should be a chef in a restaurant or something.”
Russell’s brow knitted in doubt. “Really? Lemme try.”
“You just ate two entire bags of junk. You can’t still be hungry,” you argued with a giggle, shaking your head.
“It’s lasagna,” Russell said simply, grabbed a fork from the drawer, and dove right in.
That man would eat anything. You’d seen him do it, too. He didn’t even go hungry when he was lost in a desert.
“Wow, that is good,” Russell announced his judgement with a full mouth. “Maybe we should hire Tom for the brewery, huh?”
“I’m guessing this means you two talked?” Colter asked with a carefully arched brow.
“Hmm. I don’t know,” Russell mused in jest. “What d’you say, sweetheart? You taking me back?”
You rolled your eyes at his antics. “Guess I have to. God knows returning you is impossible.”
Russell laughed and slung an arm around your waist, pulling you closer. He kissed your temple.
But then you noticed Colter’s smile falter, his brows creasing in question. “Is your hair different?”
“Shit!”
Wide-eyed, you bolted back down the creaking stairs to the basement, hearing Russell’s laughter fill the kitchen.
“Was she wearing a wig? And her eyes too, right?” Puzzled, Colter tried to piece it all together. He had already figured by your extensive vocabulary of swear words that you might be a better match for his older brother than he had initially surmised.
“Yup, all fake, man,” Russell confirmed and smirked. “Still think she’s not my type yet?”
“No, I can see it now,” Colter admitted, chuckling. “So, you guys are good?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Russell nodded and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, swallowing.
Colter’s smile widened, filling the older Shaw’s stomach with more guilt. “That’s great. Happy for you, man. Guess that means you’re retiring now, huh?”
Russell scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, we’ll see. Always depends on what the wife decides, you know?”
Yup, he sprinkled that important bit of information into a joke. Then, he watched his little brother take a stumped step back, brow furrowing and unfurrowing and then furrowing again.
“Wha-, wife?”
Russell produced a popping sound with his lips like the noise of a bottle when the cork was pulled. Welp, this bottle was surely open now.
“Yup, got married in Thailand in 2011,” he added another helpful tidbit of information, but Colter’s jaw dislodged all the same.
“Alright, got this all figured out,” you said, sauntering back into the kitchen with a pastel pink towel wrapped around your head and a matching bathrobe. You’d just grabbed them from the dryer, the fluffy material still cozily warm. It was the best option, considering you didn’t want to mess around with your wig as well after popping the lenses back in had already cost you most of your patience. In your little bubble of bliss, you hadn’t instantly noticed the brothers staring at you. But once you did, your brows morphed into a frown. “What’s going on?”
“You two are married?” Colter asked, a pointed finger flicking from Russell to you.
You threw your arms up, looking at your husband. “I was gone for five minutes! What happened to telling him after the operation?”
Russell offered you a sheepish shrug. “Well, this old soldier’s getting weak too, apparently.”
“He said it like a joke…” Colter mumbled, still in the middle of processing this new revelation. His older, estranged-but-now-less-strange brother had a wife. A family. Friends. And he knew none of it. What else was there? Kids?
“Yeah, he does that...” You shot your husband a scolding sideways look. “Should I leave you two alone for this?” you then offered, hoping the answer was a goddamn yes.
“Why would you? You’re family, right?” Colter retorted with a dry smile and a sharp look.
You pursed your lips. While you could see some similarities between the brothers, you took note of one big difference: Russell wasn’t as sarcastic and sharp-tongued. Probably because Russell had always been more concerned with what he should, would, or could share with people in an overthinking loop, while his younger brother seemed obviously free of that burden.
“Don’t take it out on her,” Russell stepped in gently, which really was a warning. “She didn’t know about any of this. Kinda pushed her into it.”
“Seems to be your style,” Colter scoffed.
“Can’t work for the CIA without going through a baptism of fire, little brother,” Russell said simply, giving an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders.
“Why would you not tell me?” Colter stared at him, his look a mix of reproach and agitation.
“Look, you weren’t exactly welcoming during our first meeting,” Russell argued with a bit of bark in his deep voice, although confrontation was probably not the best approach. But why should he always have to take the blame for everything? He’d already done that for more than two decades.
“That was months ago,” Colter countered, scowling. “I’d like to think I’ve come around since then… Coulda told me after we saved Doug.”
Russell let out a small sigh of defeat, rolling his eyes back slightly. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry, man, alright?” he apologized earnestly.
With a questioning brow, you carefully nudged your husband’s arm. “What happened to Doug? Is he alright?”
“Yeah, uh, he went to work for Horizon with me. I’ll tell you later, okay?” Russell replied, his voice a lot quieter as if sharing a secret, and if Horizon was involved he probably was.
“Is Tracy okay?”
“She’s fine. Little shook up. You should probably give her a call. Smooth things out,” Russell told you.
Tracy thought you worked in marketing at some company for the government. Whenever you, Russell, and Doug were stuck on a mission, the boys made you call her to “smooth things out” – aka reassuring her everything was certainly fine with her husband and he wasn't in any danger at all. They’d once made you call her from a Black Hawk. The noise had been fun to explain away – you’d told her you were picking up a client from a helicopter pad.
Colter chewed on the insides of his cheeks. “So she knows Doug, too?”
Russell nodded. “Yeah, me and Doug were mostly Delta, but SAD liked to borrow us from time to time. We ran in her team for quite a while. She was actually the one who recruited me.”
At his little wink your way, you smiled. He’d come along way from the sweet boy you had once teased like a special-forces-trained kindergartner.
“Listen, things were obviously a little complicated between me and her the last few years,” Russell (under)stated. “But I’ve brought you here for a reason, okay? Figured it’s time you meet your sister-in-law.”
Eyes drifting from you to Russell, Colter pursed his lips – a tell he shared with his brother.
“Are you mad? I can’t tell.” Frowning, Russell tilted his head.
“No,” you absentmindedly replied for Colter, who gave you a curious look but steered his attention back to Russell.
“No,” the younger Shaw repeated your assumption. “I mean, not more than I was before, you know?”
Russell’s creases only deepened. “No, I don’t know.”
“He means he’s indifferent about knowing or not knowing we’re married because he’s already pissed about not knowing about my existence in general,” you explained.
“Ah. Your nerd is showing, sweetheart,” Russell teased you with a smile that made your heart melt.
“Dory would like her,” Colter commented like the thought had just popped into his head – something else he didn’t share with his brother.
You’d always wondered about the youngest Shaw of the three. Russell could never tell you much about Dory. His memory had been one of a smart and feisty nine-year-old, not a young woman and physics professor.
Thumbing at you, Russell cocked a brow at his brother. “Is she right, though?”
“Spot on, actually.” Colter’s tongue poked his cheek, his gaze flickering with a hint of astonishment and new-found respect for you. “And I guess I’m not really mad either way. Just… surprising, you know? I should’ve asked. That’s on me.”
Russell seemed more than a little baffled to hear this, considering he had to pause to find an appropriate response. “No, uh, we’re good. I could’ve just told you, anyways.”
“Yeah, no, that’s alright.” Colter swallowed, sending his older brother a smile of forgiveness. “Honestly, I was glad to hear you weren’t alone all this time, so…”
Russell’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he pushed down the lump in his throat. With a nod, he averted his green eyes to the kitchen floor. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”
“Aw, aren’t you guys adorable,” you teased.
Colter wanted to retort something dry-witted, but Russell held up a warning finger. “Ah – wait for it… Trust me. She’s not done.”
“You girls need tissues or a tampon, maybe?”
“Oh, Dory would definitely like her,” Colter repeated his earlier statement with an amused grin.
Russell, on the other hand, shot you a pointed look, but that had barely ever stopped you before. “Okay, you can lay down. You don’t have to give him the initiation. No hazing my little brother,” he ordered you sternly, and you stifled a snort. “And no one better kidnaps him tonight and puts a bag over his head, alright? I don’t wanna pick him up beaten and bloody from some warehouse tomorrow morning.”
“Hm, what?” Colter’s brow furrowed. For the first time, you could see slight panic spread in his pupils.
Who was hazing who now?
You rolled your eyes in feigned annoyance. “Fine, we’ll leave him alone,” you acted your capitulation.
The younger Shaw blinked at you. “Thank you?”
“Should we at least tell him about the other thing while we’re at it?” you asked Russell with a suggestive look.
Thoughtfully, he paused for a beat, then clicked his tongue. “No, I got it from here. It’s getting late. We’ve been here long enough,” he decided. “This is less becoming a friendly ‘welcome-to -the-neighborhood’ dinner and more starting to look like an orgy to the neighbors. Especially since you’ve put on the robe.”
“It just came from the dryer. Look, it’s so soft and warm,” you argued, pouting, your palms caressing the fluffy material on your arms.
“Uh-huh.”
The little bob of his Adam’s apple made you grin slyly. The way his jaw ticked and his pupils widened with a primal hunger, you could tell he wanted to tear that robe right off of you. The thought caused a shudder to run down your spine.
“What, uh, other thing do you have to tell me?” Colter asked and smiled expectantly, tapping his fingers on the the counter.
Russell, however, grabbed his arm and dragged his curious little brother toward the exit. “I’ll tell you in the car,” he said and thumbed to the front door behind his shoulder. “Wait outside. Gimme five minutes, alright?”
Wordlessly, Colter nodded without argument, gave you a quick goodbye-wave of his hand, and strolled leisurely back to his car as if he knew exactly what his older brother intended to do.
As expected, Russell impatiently conquered your lips, roughly pressing you against the foyer’s wall, your arms draping around his neck.
“What’s the bedroom situation in this place?” he asked between kisses.
“First floor, west side, third window from the right. I’ll leave it unlatched,” you replied, smiling against his lips. “Tom’s always sleeping on the couch. Part of our cover is going to marriage counseling with Pastor Jeff, which happens to work out great for us.”
You exhaled a shuddered breath when one of his hands wandered past the robe and splayed warm against your ribcage, just underneath your breast. His thumb fought an itch to get closer.
“Wouldn’t do that, baby,” you murmured into his ear with an amused smirk. “That boner’s not gonna go away in five minutes.”
“Mmm, I know,” he groaned and dropped his head between your boobs, lips pressing a chaste kiss to your collarbone. If he continued on with this, your arousal would surely streak down your bare thighs soon. Luckily, he had mercy on the both of you. “I’ll talk to him and then come back, okay?”
You nodded with a smile. He kissed your lips, then your forehead, and then disappeared through the door with the same cometary velocity he had entered your vision.
And all you could do was hope you’d see him one more time in your life.
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“So?”
4.3 seconds after Colter killed the engine of his pickup in a spot a block away to the west side of your house – as per Russell’s very specific instruction – he stared scrutinizingly at his older brother.
Impatience was also a family trait – one even their father had despised.
“Look, uhm, there’s no easy way to break the news…”
“Is this about you having two kids?”
When Russell’s eyes met Colter’s, he didn’t recognize any anger, hurt or resentment in them – just pure slyness. At least that was good news. His little brother was just going to be annoying about this whole thing.
“Yeah, remember those five minutes you left me alone in the car? I called Bobby. Had him check some things out for me. Wasn’t easy to find. I’ll give you that…”
As expected, Colter was going to be a smartass about it. He figured it out on his own. He won the game.
“Hmm.” Russell pursed his lips, nodding. “You do know the CIA is on your guy’s ass now, right? Shouldn’t have done it in their perimeter, man. Manny’s probably all over this by now…”
Then his brow knit as if the thought of his old friend had provoked an idea, his head tilting with narrowed eyes at the air vents on the dashboard. How long had that car been parked outside and out of sight again?
Like a game of Operation, Russell then used thumb and pointer finger as his tweezers to retrieve a tiny bug – the spy kind.
“Gotcha,” Russell muttered, smirking. He then held the bug close to the speakers of the radio before turning up the volume to its highest setting – only for a second. He switched the radio off, rolled down the window, and threw the unwanted listening device onto the pavement. “That should teach ‘em a lesson…”
Colter cocked an incredulous brow at his brother. “They bugged my car?”
“Oh, trust me, they bug anything they can get their greedy little hands on,” Russell retorted. “Would probably check for a tracker underneath, too.”
“Great, thanks,” Colter huffed wryly.
“Hey, you wanted in. That’s what they do,” Russell reminded him, shrugging, but there was a smile of amusement on his lips.
Colter only bobbed his head. “So, you and her? You guys are good now? Just like that? Seemed… easy. Sorta…”
Russell chuckled lightly, brushing a hand through his beard. He knew his relationship with you was unconventional, but it had always worked for you and him.
“Me and Y/N have a deal, you know? It’s not all black and white. I mean, we became aware a long time ago that the two of us operate in a lot of gray zones. But, uh, we always know we can rely on each other, you know? Doesn’t matter if we’ve been separated by time or space,” Russell explained to the best of his abilities.
“So what happened?” Colter prompted with the same amount of confusion. “Why did you guys split up? I saw on the birth certificate your daughter was only two years old. I mean, did you-… did you even know?”
Russell inhaled deeply, nodding. “I knew she was pregnant. When she told me back then, I-…” He paused, licking his lips. It wasn’t something he had ever talked about with anyone before – not even you. “Well, shortly after that, I had a breakdown and I-… I almost hurt her.” He choked on the words, fighting the sting in his eyes.
He’d tried so hard to forget, wasn’t even sure he had ever really apologized for it to you because he so badly didn’t want it to exist that he’d tried to wish it out of literal existence, and hence, never really blamed you for leaving like you did. He understood. In fact, he had even wished you’d leave. He had convinced himself you’d be better off without him – something he still believed to be true – but he also knew he wasn’t better off without you.
He’d been lost and alone. And maybe, he was being selfish by crashing back into your life now. Or Dory’s. And Colter’s.
“I mean, nothing ever really bad happened. It’s just-… That night I came scarily close,” Russell confessed, swallowing thickly. He still hated himself for that night and everything that followed. “It’s like a switch flipped, you know? I couldn’t do anything against it… And Lewis saw parts of it, and I was already impatient with him and short with her the weeks before, so I just left that night and disappeared for two months. Volunteered for some mission. Figured it was best for everybody.”
It’s better off if he never comes back…
Russell licked his chapped lips. The next part was the hardest.
“When I got back, she told me she got a job offer in another country, and that she would be taking it and taking Lewis with her. She wanted me to use the time to… I don’t know… solve this, I guess.” He let out a humorless scoff at the painful memory.
Russell hadn’t seen it at first, maybe because he hadn’t wanted to, his anger and pain blurring the truth. After his son had been born, Russell knew you could see him struggling, so you started digging deeper into his family and what really happened. And when you’d found something – Horizon – you’d told him you could infiltrate. Naturally, Russell had passed a hard no – it had been a five-hour long fight, but he'd emerged victoriously by the end. So, you’d told him he should do it, but he didn’t want to leave you, and he didn’t want to endanger and jeopardize his family.
He’d told he was fine, but he wasn’t. It kept gnawing on him – and gnawing and gnawing and gnawing… till you eventually pulled the plug and ended his suffering.
“I was exhausted, so I told her we’d talk about it in the morning. When I woke up, they were gone. Didn’t even notice she’d already packed.”
Colter was silent for a beat. “Was it PTSD or something?”
“Or somethin’,” replied Russell.
“But you’re good now?” Colter checked with a warily raised brow.
“Guess so…”
Truthfully, Russell didn’t know if he was or wasn’t. He’d tried hard to figure out what it was exactly that had set him off that night and fix it, but he didn’t know if that feeling would ever disappear for good. He just knew he had never felt that way again since then. But could he guarantee it would never come back?
He didn’t know.
“Look, all I know is, seeing you and Dory again helped, so…” Russell twitched his shoulders and sighed. He didn’t know what else to say, how to explain it better, but Colter seemed to understand anyway, reading between the lines.
Russell worried he’d be like their father.
“I think I get it.” The younger Shaw nodded and licked his lips. “You know, you’re not crazy like Dad was, Russ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re crazy in your own way, but I wouldn’t worry about the other stuff.”
“Well, thanks,” Russell said, not convinced but appreciative of the vote of confidence. “Makes at least one of us…”
“I-, uh, I noticed their names,” Colter then said and clarified, “Lewis and Amelia. Like explorers. Like us.”
“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips and brushed it off, “Wasn’t really my idea. I told Y/N that story once. Guess she took a liking to it..”
“Are you, you know, gonna tell Mom?”
Russell was almost surprised by the question. The brothers had barely talked about their mother since they’d reconnected. Considering Colter had never brought her up again after their first meeting, Russell figured there was a reason for that – and he thought he probably knew the reason, too.
Russell scoffed a chuckle and looked at his little brother with an almost incredulous look. “I think you can guess the answer to that one,” he replied and figured it said enough. “Did you tell her I came back?”
Colter pursed his lips, and Russell took it as a sign of admission. So his mother knew. Great…
“Sorta,” Colter admitted hesitantly.
“What d’she say?” Russell almost smiled out of amusement. He already knew the answer, but his brother still seemed reluctant. “C’mon, you can tell me. I’m not gonna be butthurt after twenty years…”
“She told me to ignore you,” Colter finally confessed, but the words left a bitter taste in his mouth. They had ever since his mother said them, but even more so now that he knew his brother – and parts of the truth.
“Hmm,” Russell hummed with tight lips and ground his jaw.
Granted, the confession stung more than Russell would ever be willing to admit. The tiny, naive part inside of him had constructed a hopeless fantasy of his mother having a sudden change of heart over the last two decades and happily welcoming her firstborn back. Apparently, not a thing had changed, though, and he cursed himself for feeling disheartened.
“But I actually haven’t talked to her in a while now,” Colter added with a small shrug, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
“Huh, really?”
“Yeah, uh, and when I did, I didn’t exactly tell her I didn’t take her advice, you know? So…”
“Why not?” Russell’s brow furrowed a little more as he analyzed each word, simultaneously realizing why he had been so reluctant to share his life with Colter before – his subconscious had been afraid his alienated little brother would report back to the mothership.
Colter’s lips pursed. “Because I disagree.”
“Ah.”
Colter chewed on his lower lip. “Look, I know you and Dory wanna keep all of this in the past and play family – and trust me, I want that too,” he assured, but his heart was beating fast in his chest. “But I need to know, man. I need to know why she lied about this for twenty years and, you know, did all of this,” he insisted, and yet, Russell could tell he wasn’t done. He might have broken the dam. “She did it to you. I mean, aren’t you mad?”
“Of course I’m mad,” the older Shaw admitted, but there was no fire behind his words.
“Then why are you so calm?”
Amused, Russell chuckled, shrugging. “Probably ‘cause I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you, little brother.”
“So, what are we gonna do now?”
“We ain’t gonna do anything,” Russell clarified, his voice stern. He’d die to protect his family, you and the kids, and do anything in his power to keep you out of it, but Colter was a grown-up – a free agent. If he didn’t want to listen, Russell couldn’t force him. “Look, you wanna find out, you go find out. And if you do find something and need help, you call. But I can’t be involved in this,” he explained, his firm expression morphing into something more vulnerable and sincere. “And frankly, I don’t care that much. You, me, Dory, Y/N, the kids – that’s all that matters, trust me. You’re not gonna feel better or more… whole after finding those answers.”
“How do you know? Do you know what really happened?” Colter instantly asked, and Russell knew in that moment, it’d be hopeless. His brother wouldn’t stop till he found it – forever restless.
“No, I told you. I don’t,” Russell repeated, and while he didn’t know everything, he omitted that he knew something.
“What about Y/N?”
Russell froze at the bare mention of your name, his protective instincts kicking in. “Leave her out of this,” he all but snarled.
But Colter didn’t think about stopping. “Did you ever ask her? I mean, she’s CIA. She could probably find out something, right?”
“Yeah, I asked her once, alright? Was a long time ago,” Russell admitted, sighing. The intended lie would stick better if there was some truth to it – you had taught him that.
“C’mon, Russ… And?” Colter impatiently threw his arms up, brow raising higher and higher as he waited for an answer.
“She never found anything,” Russell said with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders.
This time, it wasn’t just an omission. It was a blatant lie.
“I think whatever Dad was involved in – or both of ‘em – was just some activist shit. I don’t think the government cares.” Lie. “We both know he had a mental thing. Paranoid, probably schizophrenic… I mean, Mom used to pump him full of meds sometimes when he got too out of hand.” Truth. He then stole a glance at his little brother and saw the confusion shimmering on his face. Russell scoffed. “You didn’t know that, did you?”
Quietly, Colter shook his head.
“Well, you were a kid,” Russell said and hoped it would curb the blow slightly, although he knew better than that. “He always took something as far back as I can remember. She used to prepare his pills every evening after you and Dory went to bed. But when we moved to the cabin, he started refusing to take them. Said they made him ‘not clear-headed enough.’ Kinda ironic,” he shared and snorted. “When it got too bad, though, she’d still crush ‘em into his food.”
Colter took everything in with a nod but didn’t say anything more.
“You good over there?” Russell checked after a full minute had passed.
“Yeah,” Colter said and even tried to form a reassuring smile before the attempt failed. Instead, he swallowed. “Just a lot, you know? I didn’t know. I mean, I had some idea, but not-… not that.”
“Yeah, I figured,” Russell said, his voice almost a whisper in the silence of the night. “Like I said, you were a kid…”
When Russell finally left the car to sneak back to you, his shoulders felt a little lighter and his heart a little calmer. He might just float through that unlatched window tonight.
The bad news was, though, he might not be able to retire just yet.
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Part 5: This Is a Start
Honestly, I should've called this chapter "Heart-to-Heart Part II" 😂 I'll see you for the finale next week, but as you know, it's not the end for them – only just the beginning 😉
☕️ Ko-Fi 🩵 Tag List
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Series: @deansimpalababy @koalamama @inknopewetrust @never-here1992
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reksink · 8 days ago
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A Lounge of Lizards
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blackjackkent · 2 months ago
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elegyofthemoon · 3 months ago
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If you're asking why I came back only to rb a billion PGR memes.
I'm plotting. Shhhh.
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ironfloret · 9 months ago
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facing a bit of a social media quagmire again lately because the thing is, i left twitter (mostly) because i couldn't stand using a site owned by such a complete shitheel. but tumblr is also run by complete shitheels, so there's really no winning, is there lmao. twitter at least is more conducive to interacting with others, but i like tumblr's organization features and the ability to write out long posts like this.... i mean. i know i don't have to just choose one. i guess i'm just debating if maybe i should give twitter a try again, just so i can have more consistent contact with my friends.... i highly value my alone time but even i get lonely past a certain point. 😭
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deviousdiesel · 6 months ago
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#so that dotd rewrite is out and i have some thoughts on it but i wouldn't know where to put them.. maybe in here bc i don't actually feel -#- like making a whole ass text post. this is coming from me as criticism and not hate.. just some crit from one fan to another if you get m#SPOILERS AHEAD >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#first off props to the team because this was obv a labor of love - 4 and a half years to make a feature long fan movie is hard work#and the animated stuff was a really nice touch and very commendable - you don't see them too often in big fanworks#in terms of the story well.. there are some things i like and some things that i don't (personally) again no hate#i'm aware this is a rewrite and boy howdy it IS a rewrite - though i am a bit sad that percy doesn't end up being the protagonist and it's#- thomas that has to play hero again.. like i kinda get it but what made the original dotd stand out was that percy was given the spotlight#so i spent an ungodly amount of time wondering when percy was gonna take charge or step into the main story to resolve the problem.. sigh#i liked that they tried to give norman more of a character bc a lot of characters do often get neglected in the series but it was kind of -#- hard to sell that for me? the twist in this rewrite was very creative and i do appreciate it but i guess it just ain't for me#“different” is ok and this is just one of many fan rewrites for this particular story#if there was something i enjoyed.. i guess the beginning was still kind of exciting because the set up was honestly like hype a bit#i liked that diesel and d10 actually got to interact face to face and there are clearer dynamics established for the diesels#and also. silverband's performances as d10 will always be fun he does a fantastic job voicing him (how d10 stole xmas will still be my fav)#my criticisms for this movie also derive from the pacing and the voice acting - i found it hard to try and understand tones sometimes -#- because the delivery felt so off.. like don't get me wrong not everyone in the fandom is a voice actor but if we're using static faces -#- for these fan works the delivery has to be a little more clear or else it'll sound like you're reading from a script.. sorry yall :"|#for the pacing i found it a bit hard to parse when some things were going on and how fast things were progressing#as well as the crashes.. that's also another thing bc i couldn't tell bc of the sfx and audio balancing - it could be better..#i wanna say. muffled voices do not substitute for a “far away”/off-screen voice bc i still can't hear it :“|#there were a lot of throwbacks and references to older thomas media/movies but some of them felt a little.. much?#if this is a dotd rewrite why are we getting some parallels with tatmr.. but i digress. at least they made diesel beef with duck a bit#there's a lot more i could say but i'm keeping those to myself. at the end of the day this fan movie was hard work for everyone involved#and you can tell some of the folks were having fun in there - props to them! i'm always glad to see more fan works in the community#we've come so far we're making feature length fan stories and rewrites that's crazy! i hope to see more in the future#fauxtrainpost.txt
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yoharrysaidshe · 9 months ago
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#i know two schizophrenic people and one of them being literally the worst person i've ever met and in my life is kinda wild to think about#the other person i love her i really do and i wish i had the energy to help her rn but i don't#i'm at a breaking point#like yall don't and will never understand mental illness until you see how severely it affects the person and everyone aroun them#like this shit is UGLY relationship destroying life ruining pathogen type beat i hate it here so bad#like the quality of life is abysmal#i wonder how it is to not have to deal with it must be heaven on earth#sorry just wanted to vent and this is kind of barely coherent#thoughts#also the resources to help ppl like this are practically nonexistent and this country needs to burn#at every turn it's been apathetic beaucracy and incompetency#if you don't have monu they said fuck you and die#we gotta burn this place#and honestly it just feels like a bunch of judgement for not draling with the circumstances better sympathetic condolences#and glad-that's-not-me's#really sucks to be us energy fr rn ://#all or our youth is passing us by and its just... beyond our control#mum's wailing in her room in utter despair bc mentally ill sister got evicted bc she's been swiping ppl's packages from their front doors#for months#really wanna d1e#i love the former person this i mainly about (sister) but most days if not every day i hate her is the god's honest truth#but also i get why she's here and how she's got there and relate to a lot of her hatred of everyone and everything including herself but ya#there's too much there#and i'm not strong enough for forgiveness and neither is she#so she's on the streets god knows where with a fucking dog and she's gonna appear tomorrow morning again and ofc we'll let her in#sigh#my sobriety was kinda nice for the last 7 months it lasted
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madebycloud · 2 months ago
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Ex at Christmas
violet "vi" x female reader — 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬⠀ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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summary: you've been invited to spend the christmas with your ex-girlfriend's family. only one problem is that your ex-girlfriend has not told anyone that the relationship is over. only one problem is that your ex-girlfriend has not told anyone that the relationship is over. (requested by anon) warnings/themes: fluff and angst, found family af, fake dating, ex lovers, christmas, family gatherings, secret santa, everyone is alive and happy au, modern au vi just begging for you to take her back? words: 17.3k.... (i got carried away) notes: it's so long i should've cut it into parts but idk where... so suffer (╥﹏╥) — ✩ part one, part two
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As always, the last drop is a lively spot. warm, cozy, and familiar. Colorful lights hang from the ceiling, a decorated tree stands in the corner, a 'merry christmas' painted on the wall, even a few strings of garland have been hung from the low ceiling.
People are crowding around the bar. Some are playing pool, some are simply chatting amongst themselves, cigarette smoke curling up toward the ceiling.
Vander's voice snaps you from your thoughts. “Look who finally showed her face around here.” He reaches over the top of the bar to ruffle your hair.
“I know, I know.” You laugh, swatting his hand away. “Things are just... busy, y'know?” 
Vander rests his forearms on the countertop, leaning closer to you. “Just making sure you're still alive. “Been an awful long while since I last saw you.”
“I've been fine, old man.” 
“Glad to hear you're doing alright kid. Haven't seen you around here in, what, three months? You need to come by more often, keep an old guy company.” He chuckles. “I almost thought you'd vanished.”
“You sound like a grandma with kids that never call.”
Vander grins and winks at you, taking a rag and wiping at the bartop. “You're like a kid to me, so I guess it checks out.”
You scoff but say nothing, leaning against the bartop as your eyes start to travel across the room. A few people mill about that you recognize as regular patrons, but other than that, there's pretty much no one of interest.
Vander snorts and lifts the rag to his shoulder. “We're having our christmas gathering again this year, you should swing by. Just like last christmas, eh?”
A lot has changed for you in the past month, and you've been dreading this coming up. “I... don't know. I don't think so.”
Vander raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean you don't know? Not up to seeing the old gang again?”
“Not exactly,” you murmur, the memory of the breakup is still fresh. It's not that you don't want to see your friends, it's just the idea of seeing Vi again. “It's not that, I just... things have changed, especially recently. I don't want to... accidentally make things awkward or something.”
Vander shakes his head and it almost seems like he's laughing at you. “Why would it be awkward?”
“I don't know…” You sigh, your shoulders slumping in resignation. “Nevermind it, I'm going.”
Your words get a smirk out of Vander, and he reaches over to poke your arm. “That's what I like to hear.” He gives you a wink, folding his arms across his chest. “You better show up or I'll drag you here myself. You know I could.”
“Like I'd let you drag me here, old man—there's no way your back can handle that.”
“Ah, you kids these days have no respect for your elders. You're gonna break my old back and then I'll die,” he pretends to sniffle, making you scoff.
Silco then walks over, looping his arms around Vander's shoulders. The two of them exchange a knowing glance before Silco turns his attention to you. “Look who actually decided to show up.”
Vander laughs as he pats Silco's arm. “Cut the kid some slack. They're just here to have a good time.”
Silco chuckles, his eyes still on you. “So are you coming on Christmas?”
You rub at the back of your neck, and just as you're about to answer, Vander beats you to it. “Yeah, she's coming,” he confirms.
Silco hums, he lifts his arm from off Vander, resting it in his hip instead. “Good, I was beginning to think you were going to weasel your way out of it.”
Vander smacks his shoulder. “Lay off, would ya? let the kid breathe.”
Silco relents and waves his hand dismissively. “I'm just saying.” He looks back at you. “We all want you there, you know. It wouldn't be the same without you.”
Hearing them say that makes you feel guilty for even considering not going. You know they mean it. You just hope it won't be too much awkward with Vi there.
Vander nods and smiles. “He's right, you know. Everyone's been asking about you. They'll be happy to have you there.”
“I get it. You don't have to butter me up, old man.”
Vander chuckles, then he glances over his shoulder, gesturing to a small, unassuming box on a nearby table. “Hey, could you grab that little box over there for me?” Silco smirks and nods before moving to get the box, bringing it over and handing it to Vander.
“What's in the box?” you ask.
Vander grins at you, holding the box in his hands. “We're doing a secret santa,” he explains, “and since you’re coming that means you're participating too.”
Your eyebrows raise to your hairline. You'd completely forgotten about the secret santa. You groan in annoyance, running your hands over your face. “I'm still annoyed I got that whoopee cushion from Powder last year.”
“That was a good one. She was so damn proud of herself too, and besides…” Vander pauses, turning to look at you. “You never know, you might get something less annoying this year.” He then holds the box out to you, a smile on his lips.
There's always the possibility you won't get something shitty, but knowing most of your friends... Yeah, that's unlikely.
You look at the box, then up at Vander. You take the box from him. “I hope you're right, old man.”
Vander chuckles before stepping back to talk to Silco.
You turn the box over in your hands, feeling the weight of it. It's not too heavy, and you feel compelled to shake it. But if you do that, you'll probably end up drawing Vander's name, and that's basically cheating.
Sighing, you decide to just bite the bullet. You take the lid off the box, sticking your hand inside. Your fingers rummage around before they eventually close around a folded piece of paper.
You pull out the slip of paper, unfolding it slowly. You glance at the handwriting, then almost roll your eyes.
Of course you got Vi.
Out of all the names you could have drawn, you get the one person you didn't want to get. You could have gotten literally anyone else. Mylo, Claggor, Powder, Silco, or anyone other than Vi. but no, you had to get your ex. Just your luck.
You look at the note again, and the first thought that comes to your mind is...
Well, crap.
You're so focused on the slip of paper in your hands that you don't notice Vander and Silco peeking over your shoulder.
“So, who'd you get?”
Vander's question makes you jump, you quickly stuff the paper into your pocket before they can see who it is.
“No one,” you say, waving your hand to dismiss the question. “It's not important.”
Silco raises an eyebrow. “Then why are you pocketing the paper?”
“It's a secret for a reason.”
Vander and Silco glance at each other, and you can tell they're silently communicating. 
Vander turns back to you a moment later, rubbing his jaw. “A secret, huh? Well, that means whoever you got won't know it's you.”
Silco hums. “That's probably a good thing.” 
“That's kind of the point of a secret Santa.”
Vander nods, scratches his beard before his lips turn up in a smile. “True means you can give them something real nice.”
Silco glances at Vander before looking at you. “Whoever you got is probably going to be very happy when they get their gift.”
You almost snort at Silco's words. Yeah, right. a gift from you? She’ll probably chuck it straight in the trash.
You run a hand through your hair, trying to shake the thoughts of Vi out of your head. You don't know why you're worried about how she'll react. Why care if she'll like the gift? Why care if she's happy with whatever you get her?
The answer is so obvious, but you don't want to admit it even to yourself.
Vander and Silco are still looking at you, and you realize that you have to say something. Any longer and they might figure it out.
You push those thoughts away. “If they'll actually like it. I'm not the best with gifts.”
“Oh, I'm sure they will,” Silco says, a knowing smirk on his face.
Vander nods. “Just give them something from the heart.”
From the heart, my ass. The only thing you want to give her from the heart is a kick in the ass.
“Because someone's gonna be real happy with something from me.”
Vander and Silco exchange another look again, like they're having an entire conversation without actually saying anything.
You turn away from them, looking out the window. They're probably trying to read your mind, figure out who it is you got. The thought makes your eyes twitch. You don't want them to know. You don't know why, but you really don't want them to know.
“Just do us a favor,” Silco suddenly says, cutting into the silence that had fallen between you. “Try not to stress too hard about it. You'll give yourself gray hairs.”
Vander chuckles at Silco's words, “You'll give us an old heart attack.”
“Ha ha, funny.”
Silco grins at your response. “Well, we're only half-joking.”
Vander's eyes soften. He slaps Silco's shoulder to get him to shut up. “What he means is, you overthink too much,” Vander adds.
Yeah, so what if you overthink? It's a normal thing to do. Especially in situations like this, where you're stuck with the one person you don't want to be.
Why keep thinking about her? You need to stop obsessing over her. She made her choice, and it wasn't you.
You run your fingers to your face, trying to think of something else to distract yourself. It's not like you don't know what you want to get Vi. You just don't know if you should get it.
“I don't overthink,” you grumble, shifting your weight on your feet. 
“Oh yes, you do.”
And they're both right about that. You can't even count how many times you've paced around your apartment, replaying every interaction you had with Vi over and over again in your head. Every word, every touch, and every look. All of it, it's like your brain refuses to let you forget.
You've spent countless nights trying to figure out where you went wrong. What you could have done differently if there was something you could have changed. All of that, just because of one person who tossed you aside without a second thought.
“Listen,” Silco says, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look over at him as he stands up straight, a smirk spreads across his lips. “You're going to drive yourself crazy thinking about something that hasn't even happened yet.”
“He's right,” Vander gives you a look before continuing. “And for the love of God, stop overthinking.”
If only it were that simple. If only you could just switch off your brain and stop thinking about everything. But you know damn well you can't do that. Your thoughts are as uncontrollable as the weather, and right now, they're a mess.
You take a deep breath, trying to calm your thoughts. “I should probably go,” you mutter, and the two men nod. 
Vander pats you on the back as you start for the door. “Same place, eh?’ he calls after you. 
“Don't think too hard, kid,” Silco adds.
You give them both a nod as you exit the bar, shutting the door behind you.
Christmas is going to be one hell of a mess this year, you can feel it.
Now all you have to do is figure out how the hell you're going to deal with it.
You're standing outside of Vander and Silco’s house, the weight of the present in your hands suddenly feeling a thousand times heavier.
You've replayed this moment in your head countless times, but now that it's happening for real, you're not sure if you're ready.
Christmas music drifts out of the house, it's a familiar tune that you've heard a million times.
You push down the anxiety gnawing at your stomach. You shouldn't be feeling so nervous, it's just a gift. Just a present for a secret santa.
But this isn't just anyone, this is Vi. The one person who you didn't want to get. The one person who broke things off without a second thought.
Stop thinking about this. It's just one night. one stupid night, and then it will be over. You can get through this, you can handle being around Vi for one Christmas. No more thinking about her. No more wondering where you went wrong or if you could have done something to change things. Just get through the night and forget about her.
You take another deep breath, straighten up, and square your shoulders. Then, in one moment, you push open the doors to their house and walk inside.
Your eyes search the room, looking for that familiar pink hair. But you don't see her. Your shoulders relax a little. Maybe she's not here yet. That'll give you a few minutes to brace yourself. No one is around right now, probably in their rooms or preparing for the dinner. 
You were so distracted by looking around that you didn't realize someone was standing right behind you until they grabbed you and spun you around. Your eyes meet their powder blue ones, and your mouth suddenly goes dry.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Woah, hey-” you stumble over your words.
“Don't 'woah hey' me,” she snaps, her grip tightening on your arm.
Vander's deep voice cut in before you could even speak. “You've actually came.”
You feel her look away from you, her hand finally falling from your arm. As soon as it does, you rub the skin where she grabbed you.
Vander looks between the two of you and says, “Hand me the gift, kid. I'll put it there.” He gestures towards a christmas tree where the gifts are already sitting underneath.
You quickly hold the present out for him to take.
He takes it before giving both of you another look. “Go easy with your girlfriend, eh?”
You freeze, your heart stopping as his words register. Your eyes widen as you slowly turn your head to look at Vi.
Girlfriend?
“I will.” Before you can even process what's happening, you're being pulled outside.
You yank your arm back from Vi, quickly putting some distance between the two of you. “What's your problem?”
She spins around and scoffs, looking you up and down. “I should be asking you that. What the hell are you doing here?”
“Vander invited me. He asked me to come.”
“Then you should've said no.”
“Wow? just wow.” You take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “I know that things didn't go well between us, but you don't get to push me out of this family. They're my family too, and Vander invited me here to celebrate. I have as much right to be here as you do.”
You refuse to break eye contact with her. “You can ignore me all you want, but you don't get to decide how I'm allowed to spend my Christmas. If you want to keep acting like this, fine. Ignore me, pretend I don't exist, just like you've been doing for the past months.”
Vi lets out a laugh, rubbing a hand on her forehead. “They do not know.”
You blink at her. “What do you mean?”
She looks over at the entrance and says, “They all think we're still together.”
Your eyes widen. “What?” you almost shout. “Why the hell would they think that?” “Because I didn't tell them.” She scoffs. “Every time I talk to them, they ask me how you are. Silco and Vander keep making comments about how we make a cute couple. They still think we're together.”
“Why the hell didn't you tell them?” You glare at her. “Were you ever going to?”
“I don't know,” she retorts, throwing her arms up. “They're all so happy about us being together.”
“That's such bullshit,” you snap at her. “That's such a crappy excuse! You should be the one to tell them we broke up.”
She looks away, planting her arm on her hips. “Don't you think I know that?” she shoots back. “It's not that simple. I can't just rip off the bandage like that.”
“Is that it? You’re scared that they'll know?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know how Silco and Vander can get.”
“I know how they get,” you snap back at her. “You're just too much of a pussycat to face them and tell them the truth.”
Her expression hardens, and her jaw clenches. “Look who's talking. You can't even say no to a little family gathering, but here you are.”
“I didn't come here because I wanted to see you. I came for the family, not for you.”
“As if I wanted to see you either. The last thing I wanted was to have to deal with you all night.”
“Fine, you know what? I'll go tell them right now that we broke up. They deserve to know.”
She grabs your wrist before you can take a step towards the door. “Wait”
You look down at her hand, then back up at her. “What?”
“Don't,” she says through gritted teeth. “Just... don't tell them yet.”
You scoff, ripping your arm away from her grip. “Why the hell not? So they can keep thinking we're still together?”
“Just don't tell them tonight. Can you just give me until after Christmas?”
“Why are you still dragging this out? What difference does it make if we wait till then or do it now?”
“Because it's fucking Christmas!” she snaps before dropping her gaze. “Look, it's the holidays. I just... I don't want to ruin Christmas. They've all been looking forward to all of us celebrating together. I don't want to ruin it by spoiling the fun.”
“Wait—let me get this straight. You want to fake it this christmas? Pretend we're still a happy couple?”
She's quiet again. “Yeah,” she whispers, looking down. “Yeah, that's what I'm asking.”
“You're unbelievable, Vi.” You take a deep breath, trying to keep yourself together. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You're asking me to pretend like we're still together, to pretend that nothing has changed.”
“It's just one day,” she mumbles. “One day, that's all I'm asking for. We can tell them anytime after that, just not tonight, please.”
She even says please. Something about the way she says it makes your heart ache. She looks desperate, like this really means something to her. Who are you kidding? Of course, this means something to her. 
They're her family, they're important to her. And on Christmas, all they want is for everything to be perfect. perfect food, perfect presents, and perfect couples.
You hate the way she's looking at you with those soft, pleading eyes. She always looks at you like that when she wants something, and you always give in. She does it subconsciously, knowing how to get exactly what she wants. And damn it, it works.
“Fine,” you mutter. “You've got your damned wish.”
And there it is. There's the look you've been waiting for. That look of relief that comes to her eyes.
You hate that look. You hate how your heart flutters when she looks like that. You hate it so much. “Yeah?”
“Yes, you've got me for tonight. I'll pretend like we're still together. Happy now?”
There's a flicker of a smile on her face, something quick that's gone before you can even register. “Yeah, thank you.”
She looks away again. Silence falls between the two of you as you shift awkwardly.
This is gonna be a long night.
You sigh, watching as she keeps her focus on the floor. This is so damn awkward.
And it's your own fault for agreeing to this nonsense. There's no way this night doesn't end up being a goddamn catastrophe. You would give anything to just disappear right now.
Powder's voice snaps you out of your thoughts. Peeking her head out of the doorway, looking at the two of you. “Hey, you two. It's cold out there, get your asses in here.”
You look at Vi, waiting for a sign of acknowledgment.
She slowly glances up, her gaze meeting yours. “Come on,” she murmurs, holding out her hand.
Taking a deep breath, you take her hand in yours.
You've held her hand so many times before—more times than you can count. Holding her hand used to be nothing, but now it feels so odd. So awkward.
But she doesn't seem to notice how out of place it feels. She slowly leads you towards the door, squeezing your hand as she pulls you along.
“How are my favorite love birds doing?” Mylo's voice greets you as you both enter.
He slings a casual arm over your shoulders, leaning on your shoulder to get a better look at you. “It's about time you two showed up. I thought for sure you were just gonna keep making out in a corner somewhere.”
It takes everything you have not to elbow him in the stomach. Instead, you keep a neutral expression and chuckle awkwardly, “Yeah, you know us. Can't keep our hands off of each other.”
“You two are sickeningly in love, it's really cute, actually.”
Your eye twitches, and you bite the inside of your cheek.
“Yeah, we're very in love,” Vi says, and you can tell she's trying not to roll her eyes.
Mylo claps you on the shoulder before releasing you. “Well then, I'm going to go find myself some eggnog.” He leaves towards the kitchen, whistling to himself as he goes.
You turn to look at Vi, and you almost feel a twinge of hatred towards the way she so casually holds your hand, like nothing is wrong.
“Are you okay?”
Her voice brings you back to reality, and suddenly you're all too aware of how hard you're clenching your jaw and the fact that you're basically just glowering at the floor with a storm cloud over your head.
You raise your eyes to meet with hers, and you have to force yourself to release some of the tension. “Yeah, fine,” you mutter. “just cold”
It's a lie, obviously. It's not cold at all. Vander always keeps the place nice and warm.
Not even she's dumb enough to fall for that. She glances around, clearly noticing how you're not really hiding your feelings well.
She runs her thumb over the back of your hand. It's an innocent gesture, one that you've seen dozens of times before. It's not meant to be anything special, it never was. And yet, it still makes your heart skip a beat. 
You have absolutely no idea how you're going to get through this night with both your sanity and your heart still intact.
“Okay,” she finally says, “can you stop clenching your jaw so hard? you look like you're trying to grind your teeth down to the bone. I know this isn't the ideal situation, but please don't go around looking like you want to kill everyone in this room.”
Her fingers squeeze your hand, and you realize just how tightly you're holding her hand in yours. Your knuckles are white, and your fingers are probably digging into her skin.
Gritting your teeth, you loosen your grip. 
“There, that's better… please try and just relax for a bit. This is going to be hellish already, so I at least need you to not look like you hate me every second we're in here.”
You look away from her. “Please don't act like you care.”
“I'm not acting like I care,” she says, a tone just loud enough for only you to hear. “I do care, and that's the problem.”
Of course she has to say something like that right now. Of course she has to hit where it hurts the most.
Care? care about what? about you? about what she put you through, how she broke your heart?
You open your mouth, but your response dies in your throat. You have no idea how to respond to that.
A loud shout interrupts your thoughts, and you both turn around. “Oi! Time for dinner!” Powder yells from the doorway into the kitchen.
Vi mutters under her breath, “finally.”
Powder grins as she waves you both over. “Hurry up or Vander will eat everything and complain about his bad back afterwards.”
“We're coming,” Vi calls back.
The two of you head towards the kitchen. There's a long table in the middle of the room, covered in a red and green tablecloth. Everyone is already crowded around the table, taking their seats as you two enter the room. Vander is at the head of one of the tables, Silco seated beside him. Mylo and Claggor are chatting amongst themselves as Powder takes her seat beside Claggor.
Vi looks at the seating arrangement and sighs, realizing what's about to happen. She pulls you over to the table and sits down, pulling you down into the seat right next to her.
After a few moments, everyone quiets down and turns their attention to Silco.
Silco places his hands together. “It's good to see everyone together like this today. I am thankful that we are all here, safe and healthy.” He glances around the room in a quick survey, seeming to count everyone's attendance. “And what better time to be together than the holidays?”
Powder huffs. “Can we just eat? I'm starving.” 
Silco raises his hand for Powder to stay quiet. “Patience, Pow. First, let's do something a bit… different.”
Mylo and Claggor glance at each other in confusion. “Different?” Mylo repeats.
“Indeed,” Silco replies. “Instead of just diving into our meal, I thought it would be nice if we all took a moment to share a few words about what we are thankful for this year.”
“We're really gonna do this?”
Claggor nudges him. “Be polite, Mylo.”
“He's right, though,” Powder chimes in.
Silco raises an eyebrow at them both. “Is it really such a hassle to express gratitude at the end of the year?”
Mylo and Powder grumble something under their breaths.
Claggor is the first one to respond. “I think it's a fine idea.”
“Thank you, Claggor,” Silco replies, “I'm glad we have at least one cooperative person here.”
After a moment of silence, Vander speaks. “Alright, then I'll go first... I am grateful for my family,” he says as he looks around the room. “I am thankful for my health, for my business, and most of all, that everyone is still here with me and safe.”
“That's so soft,” Powder says, but everyone ignores her.
Vander turns his head and looks directly at Silco, as if he's saying something that's meant to be for Silco's ears only, though everyone can clearly hear. “I'm also thankful for you, Sil,” he adds, the corner of his mouth twitching in a knowing smile.
You're not sure if you're the only one who noticed, but that comment definitely seemed personal and almost a little out of place.
He collects himself quickly and nods at Vander, seemingly not quite sure of what to say. “Thank you, Vander.” 
Silco clears his throat and composes himself, turning his gaze to Powder. “How about you, Pow? Any words of gratitude?”
Powder groans, slouching back in her seat like a child who's been forced to eat her vegetables. “I swear, if you make me say something corny-”
Mylo leans over the table to look at her sister. “Say something nice for once, or you're not getting dessert.”
“Ugh, fine. I am thankful for…” She looks around the room, taking in everyone's faces. “I'm thankful everyone's here and we're all... whatever, happy and healthy or something like that,” she mumbles.
“I'll take whatever I can get,” Silco mutters before turning his attention to Claggor. “What about you, Claggor?”
Claggor seems to be taking a moment to think, like he's actually putting effort into what he will say. “I'm grateful for…” His eyes are almost unfocused as he thinks. After a moment, he glances up to look at Vander. “I'm grateful for the family I have here.”
Vander gives him a warm look in response.
Everyone's gaze turns to Mylo, expecting him to go next.
He fidgets anxiously, shifting in his seat as he glances around the room. “What am I supposed to say?...er, fine... My whole life's a mess, but...at least all you idiots are here to make my life more miserable.”
“We love you too, Mylo” Powder teases. “Real touching. I think I might cry.”
Mylo throws a glare in her direction. “Shut up.”
Silco glances at Vi, his gaze lingering as he waits for Vi to speak.
“I'm thankful for…” Her voice is quieter than usual, more hesitant. She glances at you before continuing. “I'm... thankful for the people I have in my life.”
Everyone's gaze settles on you next, waiting for you to say something. “Well, I... I guess I'm thankful to be able to still participate in this family gathering, even if I haven't seen everyone in a while.” You take a look at Vi before moving on. “Hopefully I can still be here and spend Christmas with all of you next year too.”
She holds your gaze for a moment, almost as if she's processing what you just said… and then, unexpectedly, a smile forms at the corner of her lips.
It's a subtle change, barely noticeable, but you see it. and just seeing her smile, even a small one like that, has butterflies filling your stomach. It's been so long since you've seen her smile like that. A part of you misses it, a part of you yearns to see it more often.
She quickly looks away, and you notice that her cheeks have turned a light shade of pink.
“There, we all said our little cheesy bullshit,” Powder says, clearly getting impatient.
Silco turns to Powder, his expression disapproving. “Language, Pow,” he reminds. 
Vander sighs. “Yes, Powder, mind your language” he adds, earning a mock-offended look from Powder.
“Like you don't swear all the time.”
“I do not swear all the time, Pow,” he protests, although you know it's a lie. Even the most proper and upstanding people swear, and Vander is definitely not that.
“Yeah, yeah, sure.”
Vander huffs but chooses not to add anything. Silco lets out a dry cough to redirect everyone's attention. “Right, now that that's over, let's go ahead and eat, shall we?” Silco says, as if the whole moment of gratitude never happened..
“Finally,” Mylo grumbles, “I was starting to wonder if you forgot about why we all gathered here.”
Silco gives him a look. “Patience is a virtue, Mylo.”
“We've all been patient for the last hour, so spare me.”
Claggor sighs, but thankfully Mylo and Powder seem to settle into silence for the time being.
Silco nods in approval. “Then, shall we begin?”
Vander gets up from his seat, moving to go grab the food.
Powder and Mylo look at Vander expectantly, and they both look like they're about to get out of their seats. Silco gives them a warning look, silencing them before they can get a word out. “Wait until everything is ready.”
They both grumble, but they obediently sit back down. They're impatient, sure, but they at least know better than to piss off Silco.
Vander returns a moment later, setting a platter filled with food on the table. It looks delicious, and the smell is mouthwatering. Your stomach growls a little, reminding you of how hungry you are.
Powder and Mylo are practically drooling, and you honestly wouldn't be surprised if they lunged for the food the moment Silco gave the word.
Thankfully, he doesn't give them any chance. He simply says, “Please, help yourselves,” and Silco has to gesture for them to wait.
They almost get up and move to the table, and they're clearly resisting the temptation to shove each other to try and get to the food faster.
Mylo lets out a curse, and Jinx giggles in response. Vi stands up and grabs both of them, grabbing onto their shoulders and holding them back from each other.
“Enough, you two,” she scolds, “there's plenty of food for everyone. Chill out.”
They look at her with expressions that clearly are saying, 'no, we're hungry'. Powder lets out a huff, and Mylo looks like he's one more remark away from shoving her sister.
Vi's expression sharpens, her eyes boring into Mylo and Powder. “No, quit the bullshit, you can wait a few minutes, and if you two can't act like adults about it, neither of you are getting any.”
Mylo immediately shuts up at that, his expression turning more guilty. Powder just looks like she's about to protest, a pout forming on her face. Vi glares at Powder to shush her as well.
“Just quit it,” she says. “You can wait, the food will taste better if you don't shove it all down your throats like dogs.”
“Fine, we'll wait,” she grumbles.
Mylo just nods with a pout, staying quiet.
Vi seems to notice their looks, and she rolls her eyes, staying put just in case. She seems wary as she watches Powder and Mylo, her eyes switching from them to the food on the table.
And sure enough, the moment Silco gestures for everyone to get their food, Powder and Mylo are gone, rushing to claim their plates.
Powder and Mylo shove each other for their own plates. No one says anything though, they're all just used to it. This is just how Powder and Mylo are, and they've come to accept it. Vi doesn't even seem as bothered as everyone else does. 
Mylo seems like he's really close to just pushing Powder to the side and snatching up the slice he wants, and Powder doesn't look any better. Honestly, if Vi didn't step in, there was a chance they'd start throwing punches.
And judging from how the others' looks, especially Silco, they look like they're expecting this. 
It's like this is all completely normal, they know to expect this kind of behavior when food, and more importantly, free food, is involved.
Powder and Mylo finally settle down after their little fight, and they finally begin digging into the food.
Mylo is practically shoving it into his face, eating it like he's been starved for weeks. Powder isn't any better, although at least she's not making a complete mess.
Claggor is significantly slower when it comes to eating, choosing to take his time as he slowly eats as opposed to just shoving the food into his mouth.
Vander eats at a decent pace, and he doesn't seem as starving like Mylo is.
The last one to begin eating is Silco, and surprisingly, there's a smile on his face. He takes one look at how Mylo and Powder are chowing down on their food, then he turns his gaze and looks at you, as if silently asking if you're going to eat.
You take the hint, and you decide to dig into your own food. The food is delicious, and you can't blame Mylo and Powder for basically trying to swallow their food whole.
Vi also begins eating now that everyone's settled down.
Vander laughs, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. “Slow down a little, you two, the food isn't going anywhere.”
Mylo and Powder both raise their heads at that, and they both look like they're considering it for a moment... but they immediately go back to shoving food down their throats.
Claggor shakes his head as he watches them eat. “You'd think they'd never seen a Christmas dinner before.”
“You know them, they would scarf down all the food in town if they could.”
Powder glances up at that, a small pout forming on her lips. “Hey, it's not our fault we're just starving.”
Mylo nods in agreement, his mouth too full to say anything.
“You both just had eaten before this,” Claggor counters.
Mylo swallows whatever food is in his mouth long enough to argue with Claggor. “And that was hours ago.”
“Yeah,” Powder agrees, “it was practically an eternity since we ate.”
“Two hours is not an eternity,” Claggor retorts. 
“It might as well be,” Powder counters.
Despite the bickering and arguing the dinner feels oddly... domestic, almost.
Claggor looks like the responsible and mature oldest sibling who's done with his siblings nonsense, Vander almost acts like a tired parent, Silco acts more like a stern aunt, and Powder and Mylo act like rowdy kids who are constantly at each other's throats.
Vi sits next to you. She's making sarcastic comments with Silco, laughing at Powder's jokes, and making small talk with Claggor. She even gives Mylo an unimpressed glare when he tries to snatch all the bread for himself.
It's like you're both back to normal. The way she's acting makes your heart ache. She's giving you all the attention a partner would give.
She gives you fond smiles whenever you make a comment, she casually slides an arm around your shoulders, she even scoots her chair a little closer to yours.
Her eyes are soft, her voice is soft, whenever you look at her, she looks back with this affectionate look.
It's so normal, that it almost takes you back to your relationship and how you two were before the breakup.
She's even doing little things, like leaning closer to you, letting a hand rest on your thigh, even discreetly grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers with hers under the table.
You want to hold her tight and never let her go, but your brain keeps reminding you. You two aren't together anymore.
But when you look at her, when she looks at you with that look in her eyes, everything goes quiet. 
Maybe it could work this time.
Maybe you two could just bury the hatchet and move on.
Maybe things could work between you two if you try it out again.
Then you remember the fights, the nights you spent on your bed, crying while Vi was out with friends. You remember how she treated you after the breakup—how she tossed you aside like discarded trash.
You try to ignore it, push it to the back of your head. But it's so hard when Vi sits next to you, close enough for you to catch the scent of her perfume. She smells like cigarettes and leather, something that's so her.
You're so focused on trying to stop yourself from touching her or even getting closer that you're almost surprised when she suddenly leans her head against your shoulder.
She doesn't say anything, just leans against you. She's pressed against your side, her shoulder against your shoulder, her head against yours, her hand on your thigh.
You notice her scent again, now stronger.
Her hair brushes against your neck, the way you can feel the warmth of her body, and the way her thumb draws little circles into your thigh.
She's so close, and yet you want her even closer.
You want to run your hands through her hair, you want to nuzzle your face into her shoulder, you want to feel her hands roaming your body.
You just want her.
Your thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Powder, her question pulling you out of your head. “It's been a while since we've seen you two together,” she says, her mouth still full of food.
Claggor shoots Powder a look. “Powder-”
“Shush, I'm just wondering,” she argues, shrugging casually, “has she been avoiding you?”
“No,” you say before anyone can say anything. “We just... haven't had time to schedule any dates, that's all.”
“For months? Haven't had time to schedule a single date for months?”
“Life gets busy, y'know,” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant.
Mylo scoffs at that. “You two are dating, the least you could do is at least manage one date a month.”
Claggor smacks him over the head. Mylo grumbles and rubs the back of his head, shooting his brother a glare. “What? it's true,” he mutters. “We just kind of... we all miss you.”
Vander gives Mylo a disapproving glare. “What Mylo means is, your presence has been sorely missed around here.”
“We all just... we just want you around more,” Powder puts in her two cents, speaking around a mouthful of food again.
You cast a sidelong glance at Vi. You and her are putting up a pretty good facade so far, but Mylo's question seemed to have put her on the spot a little. She catches your glance, and you give her a look that says, just play along. Vi sighs, her hand squeezing your thigh.
“Look, I-” She glances around the table, meeting everyone's eyes before sighing and putting on the most believable expression. “I know we haven't been as... present as we should have been for the past few months. Work just got really hectic.”
“That's true,” you back her up with a nod. “I had to travel away for a business trip a few weeks ago, so it's been pretty hard to find time to spend together.”
Vander, Silco, and Powder all nod in understanding. They're aware of the fact that you have a job in a big city, so it's not an unbelievable explanation.
Mylo, however, snorts and crosses his arms. “You don't have to feed us some lame excuse for not hanging out with us.”
Claggor gives Mylo another smack. “Would you shut up already?”
“Ow!” Mylo grumbles as he rubs his head again, shooting Claggor a dirty look.
Vander sighs. “Regardless, it's good to have you here for Christmas this time.”
Everyone nods and agrees. Powder grins at you, Silco shoots you a small almost-smile, and Claggor and Vander both look genuinely pleased to have you here.
All eyes then land on Mylo, and he shrugs again, mumbling, “I guess it is good to have you here.”
“See, it's a christmas miracle, Mylo isn't being a little prick for once,” Powder teases.
Mylo scowls at her. “Hey, I'm never a little prick-”
“Bullshit.”
Mylo just grumbles again, his eyes narrowing at Powder. “I just think that-”
“Nobody cares what you think,” Powder interrupts again.
That just causes Claggor, Vander, and Silco to laugh. Vi snorts next to you, squeezing your thigh.
The conversation soon changes to talking about old childhood holiday memories.
Mylo tells a story about him stealing Silco's secret chocolate stash when he was twelve. Silco scowls at the memory, but there's a hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
Powder tells a story about the time she accidentally burned the back of Vander's hair with a roman candle. Vander laughs and shakes his head at the memory.
At some point, Claggor chimes in to tell a story about a time he and Mylo accidentally broke a window during a snowball fight. Even Mylo himself laughs at that one.
There's lighthearted banter, friendly jabs, and just a lot of laughter in between. This, this is what it should have been like from the beginning. It reminds you of the way it used to be when you were all younger, but still has a different air to it. In a way, it's almost better than those old days. Everyone's grown, but there's still that same energy that always connected you all as a family... it just feels fuller.
You don't know if it's just the christmas lights playing tricks on your mind, but you swear you can see the faintest tearful sheen in Vander's eyes. He's always had a bit of parental pride and love toward all of you, but seeing you all sitting here together, happy... damn, it must bring back a lot of memories for him.
Silco even looks less grumpy than usual, his mouth twisting into a barely visible smile as the rest of the table continues talking. Yeah, this is how christmas should be…
It almost makes you forget that all of this is fake, almost makes you forget why you and Vi aren't together anymore. It's almost like just for tonight, you can pretend like things are back to how they used to be.
But you know this will not last. When everything is said and done, when christmas night is over and you're all saying your goodbyes, you have no doubt in your mind that you and Vi will go your separate ways again.
You glance at her, taking in the sight of her laughing with the rest. Her eyes are bright, her smile is big, and her entire face lights up with joy. 
You bite the inside of your cheek, forcing your heart to quiet. 
Vi must notice you looking, because she glances over at you. She's looking at you with that look again. You recognize it so easily.
That look... that damn look she's giving you again. The look that makes your heart stutter against your ribs, the look that makes your stomach twist into knots. It's a look that almost makes you want to lean forward and kiss her.
You almost give into your urges. You almost reach out and push a stray strand of hair out of her face, you almost do something to kiss her, almost.
But you don't, you can't. That would spoil the whole 'still dating' facade, and besides.... you have boundaries.
You give her a nod, offering a small smile, and you swear that you see disappointment flash across her eyes.
She looks like she wants to say something, her hand tightening over your knee again, but she seems to change her mind and just smiles back.
Maybe it's just a figment of your own imagination, you think to yourself. Maybe it was a trick of the light or something.
Claggor reaches over to grab something from the middle of the table, and Silco clears his throat. “How about you two?” he says it casually, like he's just making small talk, but there's a hint of concern in his voice. “Any... any problems between the two of you lately?”
You and Vi both sit up straighter. “Problems...?” Vi repeats.
Silco just shrugs, playing it casual. “I don't know, I'm just wondering... a lot of couples who have been together for as long as the two of you have.” He trails off, but everyone at the table knows the implications.
Mylo grumbles. “I swear, if you start talking about how high the divorce rate is—” Claggor elbows Mylo, and he shuts up.
Silco just chuckles. “Oh, I'm sure you two can last.”
Powder rolls her eyes. “These two have been together since forever. You guys were like... practically attached at the hip, from day one.”
“Yeah, we were like that, weren't we?” Vi looks back at you.
“Yeah,” you say with a casualness you don't feel. “Yeah, we were.”
Silco hums. “I remember when you two first started dating.”
“Oh, do you remember that?” Vander says, looking at Silco. “I remember the two of them coming to me the day they decided they were going to be official.”
Claggor nods. “Yeah, and they were so... so mushy. All 'you're mine' and 'we're never going to break up,” he puts on a mock high-pitched voice, imitating you and Vi
“That was the worst,” Powder groans, shoving food into her mouth.
Mylo grins and elbows Claggor. “How many times did you have to stop them from making out all over the bar again?”
“Way too many times.”
“By the way,” Mylo says. “You two aren't doing anything for new years, are you?”
You and Vi exchange glances. “...we haven't made plans yet,” you say slowly, trying to think of excuses.
“Oh, you should come join us then,” Mylo says, leaning back and stretching his arms. “All of us are getting hammered down here for new years, you two should come.”
“Yeah, it'll be fun!” Powder pipes up, eyes lighting up. “You guys will come, won't you? promise you'll come.”
You open your mouth, trying to wrack your brain for excuses, but before you can say anything-
“Of course we'll come.”
You turn to look at Vi, and she just gives you a shrug.
Mylo grins. “Good, good! That'll be fun.” He sits up and points a finger at you both. “I swear, the two of you used to be so much fun at parties, it's like you both went boring when you got older.”
“Hey, just cause we're getting old doesn't mean we suddenly became party poopers,” Vi says defensively. “We're still fun.”
Mylo cackles. “Are you now? I never see you two do anything anymore.” He leans back in his seat. “Ever since you got that fancy shmancy job, you've been too busy to have any fun.”
“We know how to have fun, we have—” you pause, trying to think of the word, “responsibilities now. Responsibilities that a certain someone is too dumb to understand.”
“I understand responsibilities, but I understand the concept that if you don't get wasted while you're young, then you'll wake up at forty, old and boring,” he says, looking at Silco and Vander. “And I want to make the most out of my young and reckless years. Meanwhile, you've already turned into an old, boring fart.”
You scowl at that, but Silco interrupts before you can respond. “Don't knock on old farts just yet. Some of us are old and still know how to have fun.”
“Yeah,” Vander chimes in, nodding his head. “Just because we're old doesn't mean we don't know how to have a good time.”
Mylo rolls his eyes and waves a hand. “Yeah, yeah, you old farts can still have fun. You just don't know how to have real fun anymore.” Mylo then pouts. “I just... I miss how it used to be, you know?” He sighs, resting his chin in his hand. “Before all that adult crap, when things were easier.”
“Easier,” Powder mutters, poking at the remains of her food. “Yeah, when we were broke and always hungry, real easy.”
Mylo reaches over and flicks her arm. “Easy doesn't always mean money, you dumbass.”
Powder scowls and smacks his arm back. “Don't call me a dumbass, you dumbass.”
“Then don't be a dumbass,” Mylo snaps back, smacking her again.
Powder smacks him again, harder. “Don't you dare call me a dumbass again.”
Before they can start another childish argument, Silco's voice cuts in. “Enough you two," he says, and they immediately grumble and fall quiet.
“Honestly, I sometimes wonder how the two of you aren't still in high school,” Vander says.
“That's an insult to high schoolers, they're more mature than those two,” Claggor jokes, earning him a smack to the head from both Powder and Mylo.
He yells and puts his hands up in surrender, “ow ow ow, ok ok! don't hurt me!”
Jinx and Mylo laugh, while Silco shakes his head. “See what I mean? Children.”
“And they both insist they're mature enough to be out in the real world, independent and capable,” Vander says, and Silco chuckles.
“They're still just as chaotic now as they were in high school,” Silco says dryly. “Nothing has changed.”
Powder and Mylo both glare at him. “Really? like you two were that much better in high school,” she grumbles.
Silco raises an eyebrow at that. “We certainly weren't as immature as some people,” he says pointedly.
“You guys were probably just as bad as us, you just don't remember."
There's a pause, and Silco and Vander exchange glances before Silco snorts. He tries to bite back a laugh, but it comes out anyway, causing Vander to burst out laughing as well.
“I can't-” Vander wheezes between laughs. “I can't believe... you actually…”
Silco doubles over, laughing even harder. After a moment, he manages to gasp out a few words. “Oh, if you only... if you only knew…”
Powder and Mylo exchange confused glances, while Claggor tilts his head. “What? what happened? what's so funny?”
The laughter finally dies down as Silco composes himself enough to speak. “Nothing, it's nothing,” he says, waving a hand.
“All right, all right,” Vander looks around the table. “I think most of us are done eating. Who wants to help with the dishes?”
There's a collective groan from the rest of the table. No one likes doing dishes.
Powder and Mylo immediately groan out a “not it,” and Claggor follows up with “You all know I'm terrible at dishes-”
“Don't look at me either,” Silco grumbles. Vander just sighs and shakes his head.
and that just leaves you and Vi... great, just great.
You're about to argue as well, anything to get out of being stuck in the kitchen with Vi, but she beats you to it. “Yeah, we'll do it,” she says, before you can even open your mouth.
“Oh, I-” you pause for a moment. You had been fully intending to dodge the chore, but now you can't without looking like an ass and leaving her alone to do dishes.
Vi stands up and picks up the nearest stack of dirty dishes, balancing them on her arms as she turns to you. She shoots you a look, like she's daring you to try and weasel out of helping.
You get the hint, shaking your head and standing up. This is absolutely the last thing you want to do right now.
You follow her to the kitchen, grabbing a few more dishes along the way.
She holds the kitchen door open for you, and you step into the little kitchen with its small stone countertops and simple appliances. You set the dishes down on the counter near the sink, turning to find Vi already rolling up her sleeves.
She's not looking at you, but when she starts to roll up the left side of her shirt sleeve, you swear you can see her eyes dart over to you for a split second.
You pause, staring at the side of her face. You can't tell if she's... no, you must be imagining things. 
She clears her throat, raising one eyebrow. “What, you're not gonna help?”
“No, no, I am,” you hurriedly say.
You're not going to look at her. Not at the way her forearm flexes when she reaches down to turn on the water, not at the way she bends over to grab some dish soap, and definitely not at the way her shirt tightens across her shoulders.
Yeah, you're definitely not going to look at her. Not at the way her fingers move when she soaps up the dishes, not the way her biceps flex when she bends her elbow, and especially not at the way her hair falls into her face when she scrubs at a stubborn stain.
Why is she so fit?
You look down at your own hands, watching the water and soap bubble up between your fingers. You start washing another dish, trying your absolute hardest to look anywhere except at her.
The minutes tick by in awkward silence, but eventually, your mind starts to wander. After all, washing dishes is pretty damn boring.
You glance over at her again, out of the corner of your eye, watching the way her shoulder blades shift under her shirt. The fabric of her shirt is stretched taut against her shoulders, and you wonder what she looks like under it if she still has all the same muscles....
Yeah, okay, you really have to stop staring at her.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Well, so much for not looking at her. Your head snaps up at the sound of her voice, and you force yourself to just focus on scrubbing at the glass in your hands. 
“Depends what the question is,” you grumble, shifting a little.
You expect her to ask you something about your current life or something generic. What happened when you were gone, what life was like where you were?
Instead, she asks something completely left-field.
“Do you ever think about us?”
You tense up, the glass in your hands slipping a little in your grip. You were not expecting that question. Hell no, you were literally not expecting that question.
How are you supposed to answer that? yes? no? sometimes?
What was she even expecting to hear? did she want you to say yes, to say that you always thought about her, that you would've come back to her in a heartbeat if you could've? or did she just want to hear you say no, to hear that you moved on, that you had to move on because it was either that or let yourself fall apart?
‘Sometimes’ was definitely not the answer you would've given months ago.
Now, though? you would admit that sometimes, after a rough morning or a particularly lonely night, you'd let yourself think about her. You'd remember those nights you spent in her apartment, on her shitty couch, talking her ear off about everything and nothing, the nights where the two of you would sit on the couch and watch tv, her head resting on your shoulder, and you'd wonder if maybe... just maybe..
You wonder if she thinks about that kind of stuff too, if you cross her mind late at night when she's alone. You wonder if she still thinks about the nights where you would stay in bed together, talking for hours after a particularly good round, your head resting on her chest as she played with your hair, or the mornings where you'd wake up and find her making breakfast for you.
Yeah, you thought about her a lot.
But you couldn't say that to her. You can't tell her that you think about it all the time, about how sometimes you can't fall asleep because you miss the feeling of laying in bed with her, about how you always find your hands searching for her in the middle of the night. No, you absolutely cannot tell her that, no matter how badly you wanted to.
“I used to,” you say instead of letting your thoughts wander any farther. “Not anymore.”
You keep scrubbing, even after there's no longer any more dirt on the glass. Just so you have a reason not to look at her, just so you have a shield from the thoughts you know are brewing in her mind.
She's quiet, and you can feel her looking at you. Looking at you, reading you, trying to figure out if you're telling the truth or not.
After a few moments, she takes a breath like she's going to speak, but then stops herself. It's something you're all too familiar with. She's overthinking something, that much is obvious. She's trying to pick her words carefully, and damn, you just wish she'd spit it out.
The silence feels like it's been going on for a year, but really, it was only around a minute. Your knuckles are turning white from how tightly you're gripping the glass you're washing, and your shoulders are beginning to ache from how tense you are.
“What about you?” you murmur. “Do you... do you think about us?” You force yourself to look over at her, and you instantly wish you hadn't.
She's not looking at you now, she's not watching you suspiciously or anything like that. No, instead she's looking down, staring at the soapy water, and avoiding eye contact with you.
She's quiet for a second, her hands pausing in their scrubbing. “Yeah,” she finally says, “I do.”
Her answer goes straight to your gut and twists deep inside you. You were absolutely expecting a solid “no”, hell, you were even preparing yourself for a cruel “god, no.”
Anything, anything other than “I do.”
She continues scrubbing at a plate as if she hasn't just turned your world upside down. How are you supposed to react to her answer? do you say something, do you not say something?
“Why?” the question leaves your lips before you can stop yourself.
“Why do you think so?”
You don't say anything, you just shrug your shoulders. You genuinely don't know. You'd just blurted out the question without actually knowing what you wanted the answer to be.
Her eyes linger on yours for a few seconds, and you can't quite read them. She looks like she wants to say something, she looks like she wants to reach out and hold you, and you'd bet real money that if circumstances were different, she would've done exactly that.
Instead, she just averts her gaze back to the sink and lets out a sigh. “I don't know... I just do.”
You go back to scrubbing dishes. It's obvious there are a million things that you want to say, that you need to say.
“Oh,” is all you say in response, and the word hangs in the air awkwardly.
You're both quiet after that. It's quiet, except for the faint music playing in the background and the sounds of dishes clinking against one another.
A few times, you catch yourself glancing over at her, trying to pick up any hint of what she could be thinking, what she might say next. But, every time, she stubbornly keeps her eyes down on the dishes she's scrubbing. It's frustrating, the way she just won't look at you, and what pisses you off most is the fact that you understand why she won't look at you.
You have a feeling that if she were to look at you, if she were to meet your eyes right now, she'd either burst into tears or shove you into a storage closet and kiss you until your lungs burned.
You don't know which one would be worse.
It's so quiet, so awkward. You're both just scrubbing and scrubbing, refusing to look at the other.
Every time she takes a breath, you look over at her, convinced she's about to speak. But, time and time again, she doesn't, and the only sound to come from her is a shaky exhale.
It's maddening.
The sound of Claggor's voice finally breaks the stifling silence, and you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding. He peeks his head into the kitchen, grinning widely. “Yo, you two almost done here? Powder is about to get impatient.”
You're thankful for the interruption, and judging by the look on Vi's face, so is she.
“Yeah, we're done,” Vi says, glancing up from the dish she's been washing for the last ten minutes.
You dry your hands off on a nearby towel, trying to look unaffected. “We're finished.” 
Claggor grins again, “Thank God, Powder is about to start biting people.” He laughs, then disappears back into the main room.
“That sounds like her.” She chuckles, scrubbing her hands off on a towel.
“Guest we should head out there then,” you say, trying to get her to actually look at you.
She hesitates, still running the towel over her hands even though they're no longer wet. She looks down for a moment as if she's contemplating something, then finally lifts her head to look at you.
Her jaw is tense like she's forcing herself to stay quiet. After a few seconds, her features soften a little. “Yeah.”
You want to ask her what she's thinking, you want to ask her why. Instead, you just push the door of the kitchen open and gesture for her to go first.
“Now that we've had an amazing dinner, it's time for the best part of the night.”
Everyone gathers around, now sitting either on the couch or on the floor. Powder and Mylo immediately get squished together on the floor. Powder mutters under her breath, “Hey! you're shoving me!”
“Only because you're taking up too much space.”
Vander smiles from his spot on the couch. “Alright! It's time for secret santa. Everyone remembers who they drew, right?”
A group of nods and hums go around as everyone pulls out the slips of paper that have the names they drew.
Vander clasps his hands together. “Good!” he says as he looks around the room, his smile getting wider. “Who wants to go first?”
A few seconds of silence, then Powder’s hand shoots up. As always, she's the most excited one. “me!”
Vander laughs. “Well, look at that, our little girl is so eager. Okay, you can go first, Pow-Pow.”
Powder smiles and scrambles off the floor, almost tripping over herself as she pulls a present from beneath the Christmas tree. She glances down at the tag and grins.
She then scans the room with a giddy smile, then her eyes land on Silco. She bounds over to him, practically shoving the present into his hands as she sits down on the floor next to his legs. 
Silco smiles faintly as he takes the present. “Alright, let's see what you got me, hm?” He's quiet as he carefully unwraps the present, and Powder watches him who barely contains her excitement.
After a moment, the wrapping paper is set aside, and the present is now fully unwrapped. It's just a little box, though Silco is curious as to what's inside.
He glances at Powder as he takes the lid off the box, looking a little wary. Powder just grins at him. “Go on, open it,” she encourages.
He looks back at the box and, with a nod, reaches in and pulls out the item inside. He holds it in his hands and looks at it curiously, then looks at Powdr with a raised eyebrow.
She's still grinning, and she looks extremely pleased with herself. Mylo glances over to look and snorts out a laugh. “Would you look at that?”
Silco looks at the item in his hands, then looks at Powder again. “You got me…” he begins, trying to sound unimpressed. “...a shark plushie?”
Powder nods, her grin getting wider. “Yep!” she exclaims, “I got you a little shark plushie. You like it, right?”
Silco glances at the plushie and then at her again, looking vaguely fond. He carefully sets it down on his lap, then smiles. “I adore it.”
Her grin somehow widens even more. 
Silco chuckles, then looks around. “Who's next?”
Claggor shrugs, raising a hand. “I'll go,” he offers, to which Vander nods.
“Go ahead, Claggs,” he says approvingly.
Claggor gets to his feet from his spot on the floor, then moves to the tree. He crouches down and rummages around, looking for the present with the correct name tag.
A minute passes as a few minutes go by. He eventually stands back up, a small present in his hands. He looks around the room, then his eyes land on Mylo, who's now lying down on the floor and looking very bored.
Claggor moves over to him, tossing the present into his lap. Mylo looks up and catches the present, shooting him a glare. “You couldn't have done that a little nicer?” he complains while sitting up.
Claggor just shrugs and gives him a flat look. “Suck it up,” he tells him bluntly before sitting back down.
Mylo scoffs and begins to unwrap the present, ripping the wrapping paper off carelessly. He tosses the wrapping paper away, then looks down at the present as he tears the box open. He's quiet for a moment, looking at the contents...
..and then he groans, covering his face.
“Oh, come the hell on,” he grumbles, though he sounds more whiny than anything else. He glances up from his hands to give Claggor a withering look. “Dude, seriously?”
“What?”
Mylo just sighs, shooting the toy in the box with a dismayed look. “Really? a stress ball?”
Claggor shrugs. “I thought it was a good idea,” he says, clearly not bothered by Mylo's unimpressed tone. “And you seem to be lacking a bit in the stress management department.”
“Well, excuse me for being a bit stressed when you're being a dick.”
“See, you need the stress ball. You proved my point right there.”
Mylo just groans and throws his head back. He picks up the stress ball and squeezes it hard. “I hate you.”
Claggor merely grins. “I love you too.”
Mylo mutters something under his breath, too quiet for anyone to hear, then looks up as he addresses the group. “So, who's up next? I'm sure there's some poor sap itching to go.”
Silco raises a hand. “I'll go next,” he offers.
Everyone glances at him, then nods and gestures for him to go. He gets up off the couch and saunters to the tree. He scans the presents beneath it, moving a few aside to find the one he was looking for.
He finally finds it and smirks to himself, grabbing the present and standing up. His eyes sweep over the group. He then turns and walks over to Vander, holding the present out to him.
Vander glances at the present, then at Silco, taking the present and curiously giving it a little shake. “What is it?” he asks curiously.
Silco just grins in a vaguely irritating way and sits back down. “Just open it,” he replies, his voice dripping with innocence.
Vander raises an eyebrow but begins to unwrap the present meticulously, occasionally shooting Silco a glance, as if expecting something. He peels away the wrapping paper to reveal a small box, then looks at Silco, his eyes questioning.
Silco just shrugs and gestures for him to go on. Vander quirks another eyebrow up but opens the box anyway, now intrigued.
Then a snort finally escapes him. He's now fighting to hold back laughter.
Mylo sits up suddenly, looking at Vander, then at Silco, curiosity in his eyes. “What? What is it?” he asks eagerly.
Vander doesn't answer for a moment. He's still staring into the box, looking like he can't believe what he's seeing. He looks up at Silco. “Please tell me you're joking,” he implores.
Silco's smile widens. “I couldn't be more serious,” he replies.
Vander lets out a long, suffering sigh, then digs through the tissue paper and pulls something out of the box.
It's a pair of comically large underwear, one that could practically fit an entire person inside of it.
Vander groans, holding the underwear up and staring at them with slight disgust.
Mylo and Powder both start laughing once they register what the present is. Powder laughs so hard she nearly falls over, clutching her stomach as she howls with laughter.
Vi's eyes widen at the sight of the underwear, her mouth dropping open a little in surprise. As much as it pains her to admit it... she just knows the jokes that Silco is going to start making any minute now.
…and she's right.
“You see, I thought it was a necessary gift.”
“Necessary?” Vander repeats, still holding the underwear up in disbelief.
Silco nods. “Of course. you're getting old, and as you get older... accidents happen.”
“I'm not that old,” Vander grumbles, though he knows it's probably not the best argument.
Silco smirks, raising a hand and waving it dismissively. “Oh, you know what I mean. Things begin to... fail as you age. I simply wanted to make sure you had a spare pair.”
Mylo is now practically rolling on the floor, clutching his sides. “Oh, my god, I can't breathe—this is—this is gold,” he wheezes. Powder is laughing so hard she's choking, practically coughing her lungs up.
Vander looks down at the underwear in his hands. He looks like he wants to throw it into the fire and destroy it right there. He glances up at Silco, giving him a look that clearly says, 'I will get you back for this'.
Silco leans back against the couch and crosses an ankle over his knee. “What? You don't like them? I personally thought they were a good choice.”
Vander opens his mouth to reply, but Powder interrupts him.
“Oh, god,” Powder chokes out, “you should try them on. They'd look perfect on you.”
Vander shoots Powder a glare to kill. “No way in hell,” he mutters firmly, folding his arms and sitting back.
But Powder's not done. “Come on, just try them on,” she wheezes. “It really would be a look for you.”
Vander turns his glare to Powder, his expression clearly saying, 'I will murder you if you keep talking.' “No,” he replies through gritted teeth.
Even Silco is starting to look amused.
“Just for a second,” she teases, “come on, just long enough for us to see. We won't even say anything.”
Van shoots a sneering look at both Silco and Powder. Eventually he lets out an exasperated grumble and stands up, mumbling something he heads into the bathroom with the underwear.
Mylo falls back onto the floor, clutching his stomach.
Silco is laughing too, watching as Vander heads to the bathroom to change.
Mylo is dying of laughter, gasping for air in between wheezes. “Holy shit,” he chokes out. “He's really doing it.”
It takes a few minutes, but the bathroom door swings open and Vander exits, looking like he regrets every decision he's made that led him to this. His face is as red as a tomato as he stomps back over to them in the gigantic underwear.
Mylo and Powder are losing it again, falling over and rolling on the floor with laughter.
Silco is smiling, trying to stifle a laugh. “Oh my,” he says, barely containing his amusement. “They look even better than I imagined.” 
Vander can hardly look anyone in the eye, still red with embarrassment. “I hate you. I hate you all.”
Claggor looks at Silco and Powder, clearly trying not to laugh. “You guys are terrible,” he says, a trace of a smile on his face.
Vi can't hold back her laughter anymore, she's grinning from ear to ear. “You look... perfect,” she comments through a strangled chuckle.
Vander turns his glare on her. “I hate you all,” he repeats, shaking his head.
Powder is still giggling from the floor. “I want pictures.” She holds up her phone.
Vander looks like he wants to smack her head off. “Absolutely not. I forbid it,” he snaps, sounding as serious as someone wearing comically large underwear can.
Powder just pouts, lowering her phone. “Oh, come on,” she says with a whine, looking up at Vander with puppy-dog eyes. “Just a few.”
“No, I'm not having pictures of me in these... embarrassing things circulating the internet.”
“The internet? Who said anything about the internet?” she replies, a smirk on her face. “I just meant... a few for my own personal, um, research.”
He opens his mouth to say something, but Silco chimes in first. “Oh, come on. Humor her. It's the season of giving.”
Vander turns his glare to Silco. “There's no way in hell—”
“Pleeeease?” Powder interrupts, holding out her phone again.
Vander looks like he's about to argue, but Powder is already giving him those damn puppy-dog eyes that he struggles to resist. He hesitates, then, with a grumble, he sighs. “Fine, one picture.”
Powder looks like a kid on Christmas. The instant the word 'picture' leaves Vander's mouth, she leaps to her feet and lifts up her phone. “Stand up straighter.”
Vander obeys, reluctantly straightening up.
“Say cheese.”
Vander grunts, but he cooperates. “Cheese,” he mutters, putting on a strained smile.
Powder snaps the picture, then lowers her phone and looks at it with a satisfied smile. “Oh yeah, you're getting on the naughty list for this one,” she grins, wiggling the phone a little.
Once the picture-taking is over and Vander changes his clothes back, Silco motions for Powder to settle down. 
“Alright, settle down. It's time to continue with the secret Santa,” Silco says, looking at the others.
They all nod in agreement, still snickering but mostly focusing on the present exchange.
“Who wants to go next?” Silco asks, looking around the group.
Mylo looks around, then grins. “My turn.”
Powder rolls her eyes, knowing that look on his face all too well. “Here we go,” she says, preparing herself for whatever nonsense Mylo is about to come up with.
Mylo smirks, holding up his present. “Well, I drew someone's name... and it was a pretty easy choice.” He then looks around the group with mock innocence. “Oh, where's my victim?”
Claggor sighs. “Who exactly is the unlucky person this year?”
“There's only one person who I could have possibly chosen…”
“Would you just spit it out before the suspense kills me?” Powder snaps, impatient.
Mylo huffs. “Jeez, have some patience. Anyway, my secret santa is…”
Claggor puts his head in his hands, bracing himself.
“My secret santa is, drumroll please…” They reluctantly drum their hands against any surface near them.  “My very special secret Santa is…”
Mylo grins, looking from face to face, savoring the moment before he does the big reveal.
“My secret Santa... is Powder!”
“Fuck!” She groans, burying her head in her hands.
“Aww, what's the matter, Pow?” Mylo grins, holding up the wrapped present.
Powder lets out another groan, glaring up at him. “You're the worst,” she mutters, looking like she's praying to any god out there to just put her out of her misery already.
Mylo grins, getting a kick out of her misfortune. “Come on, don't be like that. It could be worse, I could have gotten you a box of spiders,” he teases, shaking the present in her direction.
Powder looks like she's seriously considering that as a better option. “You know what? Give me the spiders. Spiders would be better than whatever it is you got me.”
“Nice try. You're not getting out of it that easily,” he says, holding the present just out of her reach. “You have to open it, come on.”
Powder grumbles in protest, then reluctantly reaches out for the present. She snatches it out of his hands, shooting him a glare. “If I die from this, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life,” she mutters, slowly tearing the wrapping paper.
Then, Powder tears back the last piece of wrapping paper, revealing a plain black box. “What the hell is this?”
“You're going to have to open it and see for yourself.”
Powder grumbles, giving Mylo a glare that could freeze hell over. She slowly opens the black box, not sure what to expect. “...Please tell me this is not what I think it is.” 
The others lean in closer, curiosity getting the better of them.
“You did not get me what I think you got me.”
“Oh, you're going to have to be more specific than that,” he replies, trying to hide his smirk.
Powder glares at him, her jaw clenching. “You know what I'm talking about,” she snaps, looking like she's contemplating dumping the contents of the box over his head.
Mylo just shrugs, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I honestly have no idea what you're talking about.” 
Vander just rubs his face with one hand, knowing that this situation is about to spiral out of control.
“You're telling me,” Powder hisses, “that you didn't get me exactly what I think you got me?”
“Like I said, you'll have to be a bit more specific,” he responds, looking too smug for his own good.
Powder looks like she's about to explode. “Mylo, I swear to-”
Claggor cuts her off, knowing that she's about to blow her top. “Calm down, Powder,” he says, placing a hand on her shoulder.
“I'll calm down when the box goes straight over his head.”
“Why so angry? I thought you'd be excited.”
“I can't wait to make you eat that box.” 
“Oh, I'm so scared.”
Vander interjects, trying to diffuse the tension. “That's enough. No need to start throwing things around.”
“I was just having fun.”
“Yeah, have fun with a black eye.”
“Enough,” Silco says, giving both Powder and Mylo stern looks.
Both Mylo and Powder grumble, reluctantly backing down a bit.
“Can we all just get back to opening presents, please?” Vander asks, exasperated.
The others nod in agreement, though Powder still looks like she's not done with Mylo yet. She glares at him one last time before reluctantly returning to her seat.
Mylo just grins, clearly enjoying having gotten the last word in. He takes his own seat next to Claggor.
The others exchange glances, silently agreeing to not let Powder and Mylo be too close to each other for the rest of the evening.
Silco clears his throat, getting everyone's attention. “Now, who's next?” he asks, looking around the room.
Vander nods, leaning back in his seat. “I'm up next, I guess.” He rummages at the gifts under the Christmas tree. After a few moments of searching, Vander finally finds the present he was looking for. He picks it up, holding it in his lap. “This one's for you,” he says, handing the present to Claggor.
Claggor takes the present, looking curious. He glances down at it, then looks up at Vander with a smile. “Thanks,” he says, starting to unwrap it.
Once the wrapping paper is off, Claggor is holding a box of assorted tools. They range from pliers to wrenches to screwdrivers.
“Just like you requested,” Vander says, watching as Claggor starts inspecting the tools.
“Wow, these are great. Thanks, dad,” he replies, running a hand over the tools in the box.
Vander smiles, pleased to see that Claggor likes his present. “I thought you'd like them. I saw them at the pawnshop the other day and figured you could use them.”
“I definitely will. These are a huge upgrade compared to what I have now.”
Vander reaches over and pats Claggor on the shoulder. “You deserve it. You've been working your ass off lately.” He looks around the room, looking for the next person to take their turn. “Alright, who's up next?” 
Mylo's head suddenly snaps up, a smirk on his face. “Oh goodie, it's Vi's turn.”
“Come on, Vi, your turn,” Silco says, looking a little amused.
“Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses,” she mumbles, getting to her feet and making her way over to the christmas tree.
Vi crouches down, rummaging through the presents. After a few moments, she finally finds the present. She grabs it, standing back up. She looks over at you, looking like she's been caught doing something she's not supposed to do.
She makes her way over to where you're sitting, holding out the present. “Here, this one's for you.” 
You take the present from her, looking down at it. It's heavy in your hands, the wrapping paper slightly crinkled from how hard she was holding it. “Thanks, Vi/” You look up at her.
“Don't mention it, babe,” she mutters, her voice strained.
Powder and Mylo both let out a chorus of ‘aww’ when they heard her use the nickname.
“Shut up, you two,” she says, glaring at them both.
You start unwrapping the present, tearing off the wrapping paper to reveal what's inside.
Once the wrapping paper is off, you're holding a small box. It's plain, made of brown cardboard, and doesn't look like much. But as you look back up at Vi, you can see a hint of nervousness on her face.
She's watching you intently, her expression anxious. 
Still curious, you glance back down at the box in your hands. You lift off the lid, opening it slowly.
There, nestled in a bed of tissue paper, is a necklace. It's a silver chain with a small silver heart pendant. It looks delicate and beautiful, and judging by the look on Vi's face, she spent a lot of time picking it out.
You slowly reach into the box, lifting the necklace out of the tissue paper. You hold it up, letting the chain dangle from your fingers. It glints in the light, the pendants catching the glow from the Christmas tree lights.
Vi is still watching you, her eyes fixed on the necklace. “Do you like it?”
You look up from the necklace, meeting her gaze. “Yeah, I do,” you respond. “...It's beautiful.”
You hold the necklace in your hand, running your thumb over the pendant. Without even thinking, you reach up and clasp the necklace around your neck.
It fits snugly against your skin, the pendant resting on your collarbone.
You look up, catching Vi watching you as you adjust the necklace. “Looks good on you.” 
“Thanks,” you reply, still running your thumb over the pendant.
Mylo and Powder both let out another chorus of ‘aww’ clearly touched by the sight.
Vi shoots them another glare, her eyes narrowing. “Would you two shut up, for Christ's sake?”
“Oh, come on, sis. It's cute” Powder teases.
“Ah, young love,” Silco says. 
Vander chuckles, nodding his head. “I remember my younger days.”
“Don't you mean your younger hookups?” 
Vander grins, holding his hands up. “Guilty as charged.”
Silco laughs, shaking his head. “Some things never change.” Then, he glances around the room, looking for who's turn it is next. “Lasty, who's next?” 
You look around, seeing that almost everyone has given out their gift. It's obvious that your turn is next. “I'm up next.”
You get to your feet, making your way over to where the presents are. then you hold the present in your hands, not looking up quite yet. You can feel Vi's eyes on you.
This is it. You take a deep breath and look up, meeting her gaze. 
You walk over to her, your heart beating faster. You feel nervous, but you try to push it down. You stop in front of her, holding out the present. “Here you go, babe.” 
Vi's expression softens, her eyes darting down to the gift in your hands. She reaches out and grabs it, looking slightly puzzled.
You watch silently as she unwraps the gift. 
“Is this... a sweater?” she asks, bewildered. It's clearly hand-knit, with uneven stitching and a clashing color scheme.
“I made it myself,”
“You made it? Like, with your own two hands?”
“Obviously...”
“I mean... it's…”
“It's hideous?” you suggest.
She winces, like she can't deny it. “Yeah, kinda…” 
“Hey,” you say, mock-indignant. “I spent a lot of time making that, you know.”
“I can tell.”
“Then, try it on.”
Vi hesitates, looking at you warily. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.” You nudge her. “Just try it on… for me.”
She sighs, realizing there's no way out of this. “Fine.”
She pulls it over her head, struggling to get her arms through the sleeves. The fit is awkward, and the sweater seems too small. But somehow, it kind of makes her look... cute?
She tugs at the sleeves, looking down at herself. “How do I look?” 
You pretend to look her over, like you're seriously considering the question. “I dunno,” you reply. “it's... something.”
“Be serious. I look like an idiot, don't I?”
“Don't be like that” you tease, reaching out to straighten the collar of the sweater. “It's not that bad.”
“Not ‘that bad?’” she repeats. “Are you kidding? I look like a walking Christmas tree.” She groans, tugging at the sleeves again.
“I think you look…” cute. adorable. “Fine” “That's the best you've got? 'fine?'”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don't know… Something more than just ‘fine’”
“Okay, okay, let me rephrase that, you look…” beautiful, cute, adorable. “...very christmas-y”
“You really know how to boost a girl's ego.”
“I didn't realize you needed your ego stroked.”
“I don't,” she protests, flustered. “I'm just saying, a little bit more enthusiasm would be appreciated.”
Silco clears his throat, drawing everyone's attention. “Ahem, now that the present giving is concluded…”
Silence falls over the room as everyone waits for Silco to speak. The tick-tock of the grandfather clock is the only sound that can be heard.
Silco glances at the clock, a smile on his face. “It appears to be midnight,” he says, pausing for emphasis. “Which means…”
A chorus of “Merry Christmas!” rises up from the group, everyone sounding festive and cheerful. 
You look back to Vi, who is still fiddling with the sweater. “Merry Christmas,” you whisper, not wanting the others to hear.
She glances at you, a smile touching her lips. “Merry Christmas to you too,” she replies, her voice just as quiet as yours.
Awkwardly you glance down at the carpet, unsure of what to say next. 
“Hey,” she says suddenly. “Can I talk to you for a second…? In private?”
“Sure,” you agree, following her as she leads you away from the group.
She leads you into a small back room, closing the door behind her. The room is dimly lit, with only a few bare light bulbs lining the walls. Aside from a few boxes and some old crates, the room is empty.
She turns to face you, leaning against the wall. She's quiet for a moment, her gaze averted to the floor. you can tell she's trying to find the right words, fiddling with the hem of the sweater again.
“Listen,” she begins, finally meeting your eyes. “I know this is weird, and I know things are... difficult right now. But…” She pauses. “I just want to say one thing…”
“Go on,” you encourage.
“I…” she starts, then falters. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. Her gaze drops to the floor. “Well, I just…” her fingers fumble at the edge of her sweater. “I just... I miss you.”
Your heart skips a beat as she finally says the words out loud.
You've been wanting her to say that for weeks, months even. After everything that's happened between the two of you, you desperately wanted to hear those very words fall from her lips. But now that she's saying it...
What the hell do you say to that?
You're speechless, stunned into silence by her honesty. You open your mouth, intending to say something. But words seem completely lost to you at this point. You just stand there, staring at her, dumbfounded.
“Say something,” she says. “Say anything. You're just staring at me like an idiot.”
“I don't know what to say.” Because, you really don't know what to say. You have so much you want to say, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat.
“Say you hate me. Say you never want to get back together. Just... say something.”
She's waiting. Waiting for something, anything. An opinion, a response. Anything from you. But what can you say? Do you tell her the truth—that you've missed her so much you can't even sleep at night? that the last month has felt like a living hell, having no contact with her?
You want to tell her that you hate her for throwing you away just to come back around wanting something from you again, but your tongue feels like cotton.
“Say something… yell at me, curse me out, anything!”
But her tone gets under your skin, and suddenly you feel the anger start to build inside of you. 
Who does she think she is, demanding a response from you? she's the one who tossed you aside without a second thought. You're sick of this. You've done everything for her, given her everything she wanted, and here she is, pushing you for more.
It is too much—all too much. Without a word, you turn from her, heading toward the door. You can't do this anymore. 
You hear her call out your name as you shove open the door, but you don't stop. You make your way back, stopping at Vander's side. “Vander, I'm going to head out.”
Vander nods, giving you a knowing look. He can tell something's going on, but he's wise enough not to press the issue. “Alright, kid,” he says gruffly. “Get some rest, yeah?”
You nod your head, forcing a smile onto your face. “Yeah, I'll try,” you say, giving him a wave before starting towards the exit.
When you pass by Silco, he gives you a curious look. You catch his gaze and give him a nod.
Finally, you make your way out the front door. The cold night air hits your face, making you shiver. You take a breath, preparing yourself for the walk home.
But then you hear the door swing open behind you, her footsteps hurry after you. “Wait!” her voice calls out. “Wait, stop!”
You keep walking, your steps quick. You're trying to get as far away from her as possible to outrun all of the feelings that came rushing back to you—
“Let me walk you home.”
Her words cut through your thoughts. You falter, your steps slowing down.
You stop walking, turning around to face her. “What?”
She's standing there, looking like a kicked puppy. Her shoulders are slumped, her expression sheepish. She can tell you're not happy she's followed you out here, but she looks like she doesn't care.
She lets out a huff, her breath coming out in a white cloud in the cold air. “I just... look, whatever happened in there, whatever happened between us... just let me look out for you. Just let me walk you home. I.. I have to know you're safe.”
“I don't need a babysitter.” You practically growl, your irritation obvious. “I can handle myself.”
Vi flinches at your words, but she doesn't back down. If anything, she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin. “I know you can,” she says. “I'm not offering to babysit you. I'm just... I'm just asking to walk you home.”
You glance back at the entrance of their house, the warm lights and sounds spilling out into the cold night air.  You turn back to look at her, your voice softer this time. “You don't have to walk me home. We don't have to keep up the act anymore, I'm going home and... you've got better things to do than worry about me.”
“Screw the act. I'm walking you home. It's not up for debate.”
You stare at her, baffled by her insistence. “Seriously? What's the point, Vi? We're not together anymore. Why bother?”
Her jaw clenches, her shoulders tensing. You know she hates this. She hates hearing you say it. Her heart is on her sleeve, and you're tearing pieces out of it, right in front of her.
“Because I care!” she snaps. “Maybe it's hard for you to believe, but I still care about you.”
You shake your head, scoffing at her words. “No, no, no, you don't get to act like you care now. You're the one who broke up with me. You're the one who walked away and left me.”
“I made a mistake,okay? I was a damn idiot, and I screwed up.”
“A mistake?” you echo, scoffing again. “You ended everything, and now you want to walk me home? What, you think that makes up for everything? You think it’s that easy? You threw away everything we had like it meant nothing, like all those months we spent together meant nothing.”
Your voice is trembling with anger as you continue. “And then what did you do? You went around, throwing yourself at anyone that gave you a second glance, like I was nothing. Like I never meant anything to you. Yeah, I know all about that. So don't try to act like you actually care when you clearly didn't give two shits.”
She looks away, her jaw clenching. “I was trying to get over you. I was trying to push you out of my head and it hurts like hell. Every night, every morning, it was like there was a hole inside of me, and no matter how hard I tried to fill it, no matter how many times I went out, how many times I tried to forget you, nothing worked. You were stuck in my head, and I hated it.”
She takes a step closer to you. “I know it sounds stupid. I know it doesn't make any sense. I just... I needed something to distract me, something to keep me from thinking about you. Because it hurt too damn much to think about how much I messed things up.”
“Yeah, congrats. You did a damn good job at distracting yourself, huh? It sure as hell didn't take you very long to get over me.”
She winces again, the guilt written all over her face. “You have no idea how many times I wanted to reach out to you. How many times I thought about coming back to you and begging you to take me back.”
“But you didn't,” you say. “You didn't reach out to me, you didn't try to fix things. So why should I believe you now? Why should I believe that you're sincere when you didn't care enough to fight for us before?”
She looks down, unable to meet your gaze. “What was I supposed to do?” she whispers. “I messed up. I messed things up and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to take back what I did, how to make things like they were before I messed up. All I know is that I miss you. I miss you so damn much, and I'd do anything to have you back.”
You swallow hard. Everything she's saying, it's everything you've wanted to hear for months. It feels like a dream.
But you can't let yourself fall back into this. Not when you've worked so hard to move on. Not when you've spent so many nights crying into your pillow, reminding yourself that she didn't care enough to fix things, to fight for you.
“Why now—Why do you want me back now, after all this time? Why didn't you want me back when it mattered, when I needed you?”
She looks up at you, desperation in her eyes. “Because I was an idiot! Because I was stupid, and scared, and I thought walking away would make it easier, but it just made it worse. Because I spent every damn night regretting that I let you go and wishing that I could take it all back. I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry for what I put you through.”
“Sorry doesn't fix things,” you say, your voice shaking. “Sorry doesn't take away the pain, sorry doesn't undo what you did.”
She nods, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I know saying sorry won't magically fix things, but I am sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for walking away, I'm sorry for everything I did wrong. Just... just give me a chance. Give me a chance to make things right.”
She takes another step forward, her eyes pleading. “Give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I love you and that I want to make things right. If I screw up again, you can toss me to the curb and never speak to me again. But please, just give me one more chance.”
“I don't know,” you murmur. “I just... I don't know.”
“I'll do anything. I'll get on my knees every day if I have to. I'll beg on my hands and knees. I'll crawl on my hands and knees. I'll grovel on the ground. Just... please, just give me one chance.”
“I'll think about it. Just...just give me some time to think things over.”
“Okay, okay. I'll give you time or whatever you need. Just please don’t shut me out completely.”
Without hesitation, she envelops you in a tight hug. Her arms wrap around your waist, her face burying into your neck. Her body clings to you, every part of her desperate and needy. “I miss you so much,” she mumbles.
You stand awkwardly, unsure of what to do. But then, your body betrays you, your arms slowly wrapping around her.
For the first time in a long while, you're holding her again. Her warmth, her scent, her touch—it’s all so familiar, so painfully familiar. So damn familiar that it hurts.
“I hate you.”
“I don't blame you.” She pulls back, her hands coming up to cup your face. She lifts her hand, brushing a lock of hair away from your face. 
“I hate you so much,” you repeat, a tear falling down your cheek.
“I deserve that,” she says, her thumbs wiping away your tear.
“Damn right you do.”
You have no idea what to do or what to feel. Everything is a mess, and you're drowning in it.
For now, all you could do was hold her tight and bury your face in her shoulder. 
You hated how good she felt against you and how right it felt to be held by her. 
Damn her for making things so confusing, for making you feel so damn much.
You felt her hand rubbing your back, her fingers tracing circles over your skin. It was a soothing gesture, a silent apology for all the pain she had caused. It only made things worse, making your heart ache even more.
If only things had been different. If only she had been more communicative. If only she had been more sensitive to your feelings. If only she had been there for you when you needed her.
If only she hadn't walked away and left you broken. If only she hadn't hurt you the way she had.
And most of all, if only you had been strong enough to push her away and protect yourself from this mess.
But here you are, standing in the middle of a street wrapped in her arms. You felt like a fool, like a damn idiot, for still wanting her after everything.
You wanted to hate her, you wanted to make her suffer the way you had suffered.
But how could you hate her when she was looking at you like that? how could you hate her when she was holding you like this?
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that she still had this kind of effect on you. 
Her eyes met yours, and you saw everything you had missed, everything you had longed for. and you knew, right then, that you were in damn trouble.
In the window, Vander and Silco watched you and Vi from afar, the soft glow of the christmas lights casting shadows over their faces.
Silco takes a drag of his cigarette, the smoke curling around him as he exhales. “Your little plan worked quite well,” he says, looking at Vander with a sly smile.
Vander just shrugs, sipping his drink. “I don't know what you are talking about,” he replies, keeping his expression neutral.
“You're not fooling anyone.”
Vander hums, taking another sip of his drink. “I don't know what you mean,” he says again, keeping his gaze locked on you and Vi.
Silco let out a puff of smoke. “Don't play coy, Vander. You knew damn well what you were doing when you rigged that secret santa.”
“I may have had a little influence,” he admits.
“A little influence? oh, don't downplay it. You wanted them back together, and you knew exactly how to make it happen.”
“I have had a hunch that they still cared about each other,” he says, his voice casual. “And plus, I don't want to see Vi moping around for the past months.”
“And we couldn't have that, could we? seeing her moping around like a lovestruck puppy.”
Vander nods. “She was really terrible at hiding it,” he says. “always pacing around, always looking like she lost a puppy.”
Silco takes another drag of his cigarette, blowing rings into the air. “It was painful to watch,” he says, shaking his head.
“It was like watching a kid trying to hide a secret… I just hope they figure things out.”
“I agree,” Silco says, his eyes flickering over to you and Vi. “Hopefully they can work things out.”
“Only time will tell.”
They watch in silence, seeing how you and Vi are still holding each other.
“I still wouldn't forgive you for that damn underwear you got me.”
“That was the funniest thing you could have received.”
Vander grumbles, narrowing his eyes at Silco. “I do not find it funny to receive underwear as a gift.”
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notes: idk what is happening
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lymtw · 8 months ago
Text
It's three in the morning and the sound of your phone vibrating against the bed wakes you from your peaceful slumber. You lazily reach for the blinding light next to you, instantly knowing who's on the other end when you see the blue diamond emoji.
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"Hello..."
You were very much asleep, the raspiness in your voice making it that much more evident.
"Hey, sorry to wake you. Are you okay to talk for a bit?"
Satoru sounds like he's wide awake.
"Don't worry about it. What's up?"
You roll onto your side, your phone between your ear and your pillow. If you close your eyes for more than three seconds, you'll fall asleep again.
There's a slight pause between your response and his. Maybe the signal is bad or he didn't hear you.
"Is everything alright, Satoru?"
"I can't sleep."
He responds quickly this time. His tone didn't change. He didn't sound like he was in distress or too worried about the fact.
"Oh. Uh... have you tried drinking some chamomile tea? I personally don't like it, but when I need to rest, I suck it up and force myself to drink a cup."
He chuckles on the line. You always do what is best for you, even if it's not something you particularly enjoy.
"I think i'm just missing you a lot. Can I come over?"
It was strange to think he hadn't tried a tea remedy for his inability to sleep, but who were you to tell him that? Sleep deprivation does things to people.
"Right now? It's a little late, don't you think?"
You blink slowly, trying to adjust your blurry vision in the dark.
"I promise I won't fall asleep behind the wheel. I really want to see you. Please say yes."
You shut your eyes tightly and open them, your vision clearing up a little. When have you ever said 'no' to him? He always manages to change your mind when you do.
You sigh.
"Okay. You have the spare key to my apartment. I'm going back to sleep."
"I'll be there in like fifteen minutes. Love you, bye!"
You can hear the joy in his tone. He was genuinely so uncomfortable being alone with himself, that he had to wake you up so late at night to invade your space.
You knocked out again, once you hung up the phone. You were in such deep sleep that you didn't even notice when Satoru got to your apartment, or when he entered your room.
You did feel the bed weigh down when he laid down next to you, and your nose couldn't ignore his sweet, sweet scent.
"Baby," he whispered. "I'm here."
"Okay, now go to sleep," you mumble, your eyes still closed.
"Come here." He effortlessly turns you over and pulls you close, lifting your leg over his hip. His hand went up to your face, caressing your delicate, peaceful features before scattering kisses all over it, making sure to elongate the duration of the ones he leaves on your lips.
"Baby," he coos. "Come on, kiss me back."
He's like a dog—constantly begging for your attention. The thought makes you crack a smile, one Satoru does not miss.
"I know you're awake." He smiles, putting your leg back in place, before rolling over until he's on top you.
"Fucking hell, 'toru," you break, cracking up at how he had no remorse after crushing your body.
"There's my pretty baby. I'm so glad you're awake now."
"It's your fault," you grumble.
"If wanting to love you is a crime, then throw me in the slammer and toss the key." His nose dove into your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. "You're just so pretty, and you're all mine."
His affection was starting to evolve into more than lovey dovey kisses. His lips stung every time they met your delicate neck. His hands were roaming beneath your shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
He loved the way your breathing quickened. It had him chasing more of the reactions associated with the hummed melodies.
"You are mine, right?" He knows the answer, but hearing you say it from time to time always makes him happy. His icy blue eyes can read your response before you even form it. He loves flustering you with eye contact tied with touches that burned with desire. To top it all off, he loves teasing you to see the way you scramble your response. "It's okay if you're not." He smirks, catching the way your eyes widened the slightest bit. "That's subject to change, isn't it?" He eggs on.
"I'm yours, Satoru. I belong to you," you say, making it crystal clear to him. "All yours." With this, he wouldn't doubt it again until the next time he wasn't with you.
"Yeah? You know, I would've done anything to hear those words from you." He leans down to kiss you, a spike of arousal hitting him when you bit his lip and sucked on it.
"Oh... you can't do that. I will put a baby in you." He has never said anything so seriously.
"I dare you to put a baby in me," you say, teasingly. You know he won't do it. He's not ready to share you yet.
"Keep acting like that and I will."
His lips ghost the column of your neck, trailing down your chest and lower to your abdomen. Your oversized gown of a t-shirt was the only thing standing between your body and his eyes. He pulled it up and off with a little help from you, tossing it aside after.
You were a little nervous about what was running through Satoru's head. He was devouring you with just his eyes and already you felt so flustered.
"God, don't ogle me like that, 'toru." You put your hands over your breasts—a makeshift bra to cover what he was staring at.
"Let me see you, baby," he pries, gently. He puts his hands on yours, not pulling them away as to not make you do anything you don't want to do. You end up moving your hands on your own, but turn away, unable to hold his gaze when he's watching you that way.
He cups your breasts, his thumbs swiping over your nipples, instantly making them pebble. He could feel the way you tried to press your thighs together, your relief disturbed by his body wedged between your legs. You tried your hardest to remain composed, but his fingers wouldn't let up. His eyes were glued to your face, watching intently until you let out a shaky breath.
"Mhm..." he hummed, grinning at your bashful attempt to stay quiet. "I know this is driving you crazy."
"Shut... up."
"If it isn't, why can I feel you rubbing up against my stomach."
You stop and your cunt throbs at the suddenness of it.
"Just let it out and we can move on. Let me hear that pretty little ah-"
"Fuck," you whimper, interrupting his instructive moan. Your back arches slightly off the mattress, your hands flying to grip his wrists, tightly.
"Good girl," he praises, his fingers letting off your tortured peaks. Little butterfly kisses are placed between your breasts, trailing down to your stomach, where he spends so much time eliciting giggles from you.
His fingers hook around the elastic band of your shorts and panties, pulling them both down in one swoop.
"I didn't know kissing turned you on so much," he says, eyeing the glossy remnants left in your underwear.
"'toru..." you whine, feeling somewhat embarrassed about the amount of arousal you feel at the simplest touches from him.
"What? I'm not complaining one bit. It's cute."
He slides two fingers between your folds, easily collecting your sweetness. You jolt at the sudden contact, looking at him with doe eyes.
"Oh, baby. I don't deprive you of my touch that much, do I?"
You shake your head as he continues to collect your nectar, his fingers dipping in slightly to fully coat his fingertips.
"My sensitive princess." He smiles, softly. "How many times do you wanna cum?"
He never asks you this, always just giving you everything he can give or what you can take. You go for a small number, not wanting to seem excessively needy.
"Maybe two times? Please?" Your voice sounds meek. Like you're asking him for the impossible.
Satoru just chuckles. "How 'bout we triple that number?"
"S-Satoru—fuck— just like that, like that!" Your head pushes back against the pillow, your hands beside your head, scrunching up the sheets.
This was the fourth orgasm. There was cum spotted over your inner thighs and sweat layered over both your bodies. He had driven you to insanity like he planned.
"More, baby?" He grunts, thrusting with his continuous pace.
"Please," you cry out, fresh tears welling in your eyes again.
Satoru loved watching the tears stream down your face because he got to lean down and kiss them away. He takes the opportunity to praise you— to tell you how good you're being for him.
Your back arched and you braced yourself for the intensity of your next orgasm. Satoru swallowed your moans, kissing you fervently through his own rush. His breathing stuttered when he felt your nails clawing at his back, and once again his cum spurted into you. His breathing was heavy through the nose due to his insistence of kissing you until he you patted him for air.
"Fuck," you muttered. You let out an out of breath laugh, your chest rising and falling quickly as you tried to even out your breathing.
"That's five, baby." He exhales sharply, leaning back and running a hand through his dampened locks. You look at him with twinkling eyes, a smirk being thrown in your direction from your admiration.
"Come here," you say, outstretching your arms towards him. Satoru immediately fills the vacancy, sighing when you rake your nails against the nape of his neck. "Want you to take your time with this last one."
He takes that as a green light to start up again. He guides his cock into you again, savoring the hum that leaves you when he stuffs you again and begins his slow rhythm.
"'toru?" Your voice sounded sultry to his ears.
"Hm?"
"This won't happen again. I hope you know that." You're trying your hardest not laugh or make any sounds that take from the meaning of what you're saying.
He had to raise his head to meet your gaze. Something in the way he looked at you made you believe that this would definitely happen again.
"I hope it does. I love having you under me."
"It's inconvenient. It's so late, 'toru. Why can't we fuck when i'm not trying to sleep? Like in the daytime, or earlier in the night?"
His lips trace your jawline, and you just know he's going for your neck. Satoru lives for pointing out the marks he left on you, the day after.
"Simple," he hums. "I want you to myself." His hips continue to rock into you at the same languid pace. "At night, nobody is gonna take you from me. You won't be distracted and I get all your attention to myself." He kisses your neck. "You're all mine at night. Nobody expects you to be awake."
You gasp when he hits a spot that aches deliciously.
"Come on, baby. Give it to me," he murmurs into your neck. You can feel the way his back ripples as he instinctively picks up the pace. He was overwhelming, thrusting deeper and deeper like he was trying to consume you. What was supposed to be a slow drive towards your final orgasm of the night, turned into him unapologetically using his stamina to lure everything he could out of you. He was almost too much with the way his mouth was ruthless towards your neck and the bruising grip he kept on your hips. You were rendered the smallest thing for him.
"Satoru," you moaned, mindlessly grabbing onto his shoulder blades.
"I know, sweetheart, I know." He kisses you, tenderly, heavily contrasting the savage speed of thrusts.
You whimpered into the lip lock. Your heels dug into the mattress and your toes curled from the intensity of the pleasure you felt. Your breathing became heavier but Satoru refused to unlink his lips from yours. He couldn't when the sounds you made tasted like heaven on his tongue. His own sounds mingled with yours, a harmony that let you know that you weren't the only one feeling good. He was rutting into you, a telltale sign that he was about to cum.
"Mmm..." he hums, before unlatching his lips from yours. He panted as he watched you unravel beneath him, the smallest pinch between your brows as you gushed on him again. The way your walls spasmed around him had him following right after, another load painting your walls.
He grinned at you devilishly, the expression followed by a bright and sunny, airy chuckle. He pulls out of you, and looks down to watch your combined fluids slowly ooze out of you.
"Damn, you really tried putting a baby in me." You sigh, heavily, immediately regaining his attention. "Why do we fuck like this every time?" You rub your eyes, your sleepiness coming back around.
"I'll get one in there someday." He rubs his palm over your stomach. "And also, it's always like that because I love the face you make when you cum and you love the process of giving me that sight." His eye conveyed a seductiveness to their expression that kept you in check.
Your face goes red, warm to the touch. "Shut up." You sit up and playfully shove him.
"I get to cover you in semipermanent kisses, too." His hand comes up to the side of your neck and his fingers trace the red smudges that will darken over time. You roll your eyes, yet still put your hand over his, bringing it to your lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.
"We should shower. It's almost five in the morning." You ignore the mischievous glint in his eyes and the way he's obviously trying to suppress a boyish grin.
"Carry me, please?"
Satoru chuckles, knowing exactly why you want him to carry you.
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steddiealltheway · 1 month ago
Text
As soon as Steve hears the phone ring, he sighs.
Robin is away visiting her family in Kentucky for the holidays, and the only other person to ever call would be...
"Dustin," Steve says, his free hand coming up to rest on his hip, "why are you calling?"
There's a pause on the other line before Dustin whines, "How do you always know when it's me."
"Because your irritating energy bleeds through the phone."
Another pause. "You got that from Robin, didn't you?"
Yes. He did. Sue him for wanting to be witty and taking a few notes from Robin. "What do you want?"
"Okay, so..." Oh boy. "I've been meaning to talk to Suzie for a while now, and we made plans not to talk on Christmas because she would be with her family all day, and I knew my mom wouldn't want me to be away for too long so-"
"The point, Dustin."
Dustin mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like multiple curse words before continuing, "The point is that I'm taking Cerebro to that hill, but I'm going to need a ride."
Steve frowns, walking toward the nearest window until the phone cord is fully stretched so he can pull a curtain open. He winces a bit at the bright light. "Dustin, it's freezing out, and the hill will be covered in snow."
"You would've done the same for Nancy!"
Steve's eyebrows raise. "Not the best approach if you want a ride, dude."
"I'm not trying to approach the whole you and Nancy thing. I'm trying to make a point," Dustin emphasizes a little too loudly into the phone. "You would do anything if you were in love! Even sit out in the snow for a few hours just so you can talk to the person you love."
"Have you ever heard of the phone?"
"Have you heard the number of siblings she has that would jump at the opportunity to listen in on our call? Plus, Cerebro is our thing."
Steve really wishes Dustin were in front of him, so he could see the way his cheeks are flushing during this exact moment. "You just like using your Cebro thing because it makes it feel like your love is forbidden."
"I do not!"
"Alright, Romeo," Steve says with a laugh, "I'll give you a ride. If you promise to only be there for an hour."
"Not including the time it takes to get there, set it up, and leave."
Steve sighs and knocks the phone against his head for a second before reluctantly agreeing, "Yes, but you better be bundled up so much that you're sweating out there. I don't want to hear you complain." He also secretly worries about the kid getting frostbite or something, but he'd never admit to it.
"Fine I'll see you in an hour?"
"Yeah, I'll see you then," Steve says as Dustin hangs up. "A thank you would've been nice..."
He really hopes he doesn't regret this.
-:-:-:-:-:-
When Dustin climbs in the car, he's bundled from head to toe but still manages to laugh at Steve who is wearing the same amount of layers as him. "Look in the mirror," Steve comments dryly before driving off.
The drive there isn't too long, and although Steve saw Dustin a few days ago - after Claudia insisted he spend Christmas with them instead of home alone - he's kind of glad to hang out with Dustin again. It's not often he gets a lot of one-on-one time with the kid anymore.
Which is why Steve is particularly bitchy when he pulls up to the familar area below the hill and find a familar van there.
"Dustin..."
"I didn't think you would agree to take me here and stay! So, I asked Eddie to give me a ride back this morning-"
"This morning?"
"And he said he was already going to be in the area and wanted to briefly meet Suzie and my Cerebro, so he's here now! And if you want, you can just drop me off. Think of it as a late Christmas gift."
Steve shakes his head. "And leave you in Munson's capable hands only to find out you two froze to death? No thanks." He gets out of the car with thoughts of a mourning Claudia Henderson on his mind.
"We wouldn't freeze to death!" Dustin practically shouts as he climbs out.
At that same moment, Eddie exits from his van, wearing his usual attire, only with maybe an extra added layer - a leather jacket.
Steve turns to Dustin, raising his eyebrows and gesturing toward Munson. Dustin sighs before going to the trunk to dig out all the different Cerebro parts.
Before Steve can join him, Eddie approaches him with a big smile. "Steve Harrington. Looking awfully toasty."
Steve rolls his eyes in response before openning his car door and reaching toward the back, grabbing the spare pair of gloves and a hat that he keeps whenever Robin forgets the extra layers - which is often. He hands them to Eddie without a word then helps Dustin grab his things before heading to their snow covered destination.
Eddie only lasts a few minutes up the hill before he manages to push into Steve's space while Dustin hurries ahead of them. "So, you look happy to see me."
"Just peachy, Munson."
Eddie snorts. "I'm guessing Dustin didn't tell you I would be tagging along when you got here?"
"And I'm guessing Dustin didn't tell you I was planning on staying."
"Actually," Eddie says, nudging Steve's shoulder, "I told him you would jump at the opportunity to hang out with him, and there was no way you would drop him off to freeze to death."
Steve narrows his eyes as he looks at Eddie.
Eddie shifts things around in his arms to grab his shirt and jacket and lift them up enough to show off some of his scarred skin. "Our matching battle scars will forever bound us, Steve. I wonder if the bats gave us telepathic abilities," he says, way too cheery for Steve's liking.
"If it did, then I would teleport up to the top of the hill right now."
"Telepathic means the ability to read each other's minds. The word you're thinking of is 'teleportation.'" Eddie corrects him without judgement - something Steve's always found surprising.
"Oh. Then guess what I'm thinking about right now."
Eddie hums before leaning in to mumble in his ear. "You're thinking about getting a piece of this."
Steve laughs and shoves him away. He's glad it's cold out so he blame his blush on the cold. For some reason, he's still not entirely immune to Eddie's flirting. "Definitely not what I was thinking about."
"You are now," Eddie teases.
Steve swallows heavily, pressing down those thoughts and many... many.... images. "I think you're confusing my thoughts for your own thoughts."
"Tell me about it," Eddie sighs dramatically.
Steve is relieved when he sees they've reached the top of the hill. He's even more relieved when Dustin doesn't ask for his help to put Cerebro together, but Eddie is all too happy to help while calling Dustin a genius - in various annoying, dramatic ways.
It's not long before Dustin is awaiting Suzie's response while Eddie bounces on his feet. Steve's not sure if it's from excitement or being cold - probably both.
"Dusty bun?"
Dustin's face lights up in a way that is entirely too endearing for Steve's heart to handle. The jedi has learned the art of love from the master - or something like that. "Suzie poo! I'm here with Steve and Eddie for the next few moments. Eddie wants to say hello."
Steve frowns and raises his voice, "I want to say hello, too! Eddie just wants to be dramatic about it."
"Because I haven't had the pleasure of meeting the lady," Eddie argues before turning up the charm. "Suzie, it's a pleasure. I'm sure you've heard nothing but wonderful things about me just like I've heard nothing but wonderful things about you. Unlike Steve over here who you've probably never heard a good thing about."
"Hi, Eddie, it's nice to meet you," Suzie replies, giggling. "And hi Steve!"
"Hey, Suze. Don't let Eddie win you over with his charm just yet. It's bad for his ego."
"You think I'm charming?" Eddie asks, batting his eyelashes.
Steve makes a see? gesture before realizing Suzie can't see him.
"Alright," Dustin says, "Now they're going to leave us alone for the next hour."
"Hour? It's already been at least five minutes," Steve complains.
Eddie grabs him by the shoulders and steers him away. "Don't worry, Suzie! I'll make sure you get the fulll hour!"
Steve lets Eddie guide him a little down the hill, ignoring when Suzie asks, "Do they always bicker like an old married couple?"
When they get a comfortable distance away, where they're out of earshot but Steve can still see Dustin to make sure he doesn't freeze to death, Steve sits on the ground. He glances up after he gets as comfortable as he can get on the side of a hill, only to find Eddie frowning down at him.
"What?" Steve asks.
Eddie shrugs. "Doesn't seem fair that you get to sit on the ground, and I can't."
Steve's eyes scan over Eddie's body. "Not my fault that you didn't wear a long enough jacket to cover your ass when you sit."
"Not my fault that I wasn't born into a wealthy family that can afford those jackets."
Steve's stomach flips, but he knows Eddie isn't looking for an apology. "Why don't you sit in your van then?"
"Wouldn't want to miss my chance to hang out alone with Steve Harrington," Eddie says with a wink.
Steve nearly scoffs and gives him a snarky reply, but his thoughts go out the window when he notices Eddie's teeth chattering. "Shit," he mutters.
"What was that?"
Steve groans and stands up before unzipping his large jacket.
"Am I in a dream?" Eddie jokes, but his voice shakes a bit.
"You're about to be living one," Steve says dryly as he stands in front of Eddie and opens his coat. Eddie just stares at him. Steve huffs out a breath that becomes visible in the cold air between them. "Come here."
"What?"
Steve raises his eyebrows at Eddie before tugging at his coat. But Eddie continues to stare at him with wide wandering eyes. "I'm not letting you freeze to death up here, so come here before I tell Dustin to pack it up because you're cold."
Eddie crosses his arms a little tighter. "I'm f-fine." A shiver visibly runs through Eddie's body.
Steve rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundreth time this day and wraps Eddie in his jacket before he can protest.
He's stiff for a moment, then Eddie relaxes enough to wrap his arms around Steve who is able to close the jacket around them. They linger in each other's arms long enough that Eddie stops shivering and Steve wonders how much time Dustin has left with Suzie.
"Better?" Steve asks to break the silence.
He feels Eddie nod over his shoulder before he pulls back enough to look him in the eye, nose brushing against Steve's as he whispers, "I know something we could do to keep ourselves warm."
Steve's heart beats a little faster in his chest.
Eddie laughs and tucks his head into Steve neck, his lips far away enough from Steve's that it's no longer the only thing on Steve's mind. With the new brain space, he can feel Eddie drum a nervous rhythm onto his back and bounce a little on his face. He wonders if maybe Eddie was onto the whole scars making them read each other's minds thing because he swears he knows the first part of what Eddie's about to say before he says it.
"Sorry if that was too much. No guy has ever let me flirt at them the way you do."
Steve gets stuck on flirt at and, "No guy?"
Eddie lets out a short humorless laugh. "No guy."
And for some reason, Steve has to ask, "Has any guy let you kiss them before?"
Eddie pulls back to look at him with a frown tugging at the corners of his lips. "What are you getting at, Steve?"
Steve glances at Eddie's lips, slightly chapped but they've never looked more inviting. Maybe it's time to listen to Robin's knowing looks whenever Eddie is around and Steve finds himself simultaneously drawn to him while also wanting to run to the bathroom with Robin to have another floor talk. "What if one guy let you kiss them?"
"Steve..." Eddie whispers, his eyes flicking over his shoulder.
Steve turns to find Dustin, facing away from them. Still he loosens his hold on Eddie and says, "Wrap your arms around my neck instead of my back."
Eddie does as he's told, and Steve gives him no warning before saying, "Hopefully this goes alright." Then, he slightly picks up Eddie before falling back, letting the snow break their fall as he lays back with Eddie on top of him.
"That went better than I thought it would," Steve says with a big smile then asks, "Can Dustin see us?"
Eddie glances up and shakes his head.
"Perfect," Steve says, heart practically beating out of his chest when Eddie looks down at him. When he doesn't make a move, Steve can't help but tease, "So you really are all bark, no bite."
"Shut up, Harrington," Eddie says before finally kissing him.
For only a moment, Steve nearly laughs at the fact that Eddie Munson told him to shut up. But then his brain goes nearly haywire yet completely silent when Eddie's lips meet his in what he thinks might be the single most transformative kiss of his life.
His arms tighten around Eddie's back, and Eddie's hands move to cup the back of his head as they deepen the kiss. Somehow, laying in snow, Steve has never felt warmer.
They eventually break the first kiss reluctantly, both of them going back to steal more as they catch their breath, which turns into laughter and giggles between more kisses. Then, Eddie breaks away long enough to say, "You know, the van is seeming like a really great option at the moment."
"And Dustin's a smart kid. He knows how to not freeze to death," Steve says, kissing Eddie every chance he gets.
"You're right. No need to stay here in the snow," Eddie replies.
"Right."
Neither of them make a move to get up, but they both move to kiss again.
It's only a little while later before they hear Dustin yell out, "Guys?" And that's when they finally break away.
Eddie pops up first and calls out, "Yeah?"
"Let's pack up! It's been over an hour! Come on!"
Steve pulls Eddie back down into the snow one more time for a kiss before stomping up the hill. "Alright, alright. We thought you'd be happier that we gave you more time and that we both waited for you."
"it's cold," Dustin complains.
Steve nods, but he still feels warm.
Eddie joins a few moments later, stealing glances at Steve before asking Dustin what they're doing next.
"I'm thinking we change out of our snow clothes and get food somewhere maybe..." Dustin trails off and frowns at Eddie. "Why are you covered in snow?"
"We were making a snow angel?" Eddie hurriedly says.
Steve tries not to laugh.
"One?" Dustin asks.
Eddie nods. "You'll see it on the way down."
Sure enough, on the way down, they all see one horribly disfigured snow angel.
While Steve laughs and Eddie smiles proudly, Dustin shakes his head and mutters something like more curses to himself. In a volume that's able to be picked up by the other boys, he asks, "Eddie, you'll drop me off at my house, and we'll meet back up in an hour at my house?"
"Hour and a half," Steve says. When Dustin opens his mouth to complain, Steve explains, "I need to take a shower so I don't get pnemonia. Plus, I'm not letting my hair freeze on my way to your house."
"Fine," Dustin sighs. "See you then."
"See you then," Eddie echoes to Steve, winking at him once.
Soon after Steve gets home, he hears a knock on the front door, and when it's Eddie on the other side, Steve pulls him in and says, "Maybe you were right about the telek- tele-"
"Telekentic abilities?"
Steve nods as he closes the door behind Eddie and traps him against it. "I definitely know what you're thinking about now."
Eddie cocks his head to the side and wraps his arms around Steve's neck. "Yeah? What am I thinking about?"
"Kissing me again," Steve says, leaning in.
"Actually," Eddie says turning his head away, "I was thinking about a lemon."
"Crazy. I happen to have lemon scented body wash," Steve comments as he grabs Eddie's hands and tugs him up the stairs.
They're both a little late to Dustin's house. And maybe their hair freezes a bit.
But Dustin was right. There's a lot of things Steve would do for love.
2K notes · View notes
amkyor · 18 days ago
Note
Hey! I'm a big fan, annnd I have a bakugou x y/n idea... where bakugou hasn't been paying attention to y/n his girlfriend lately and it's been lonely.... so y/n is watching a romance anime with Mina and y/n says... "I wish I had that"....and then Mina ask if she loves bakugou and she says ...."hes okay"..... but the whole time bakugou and his friend kirishima were listening....and bakugou his mind is like "I'm a bad boyfriend? Does she love me? Im...okay?"
K. BAKUGO SHORT STORY
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Synopsis: Bakugo has been distant toward his girlfriend (you), and she realizes how much it is actually affecting her while watching a romance movie that includes the love that she wishes she had.
Short note: Chapter 23 of my Bakugo x Reader Fanfiction is out now! If you like my stories on here, I'm sure you'll like my fanfiction, so go check it out! The link is at the end of this post!!
Distance Between Us:
It all started slowly, too slow for you to realize.
The day you started to notice it was when it was late in the evening, and you were sitting on the couch, waiting for Bakugo to come home.
He had promised to spend the evening with you after work, but as the hours ticked by, your excitement turned into frustration. Finally, you heard the front door open.
Bakugo walked in, still in his hero uniform, his face tired and serious. "Sorry, I got held up at work. Some idiot caused a mess in the city," he muttered, tossing his gloves onto the table.
You smiled, trying to be understanding. "It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re home now. Want me to heat up the dinner I made for us?"
"Not hungry," he replied shortly, already pulling out his phone. "I need to check the patrol schedule for tomorrow. There’s a lot going on."
You sighed, your shoulders dropping. "Katsuki, can’t it wait? You’ve been working all day. We barely get time together."
But he didn’t seem to hear you, his eyes glued to the screen. "Huh? Yeah, sure, whatever you say."
The evening dragged on, and though he was physically present, his mind remained consumed by hero work.
You ended up eating dinner alone while he sat at the kitchen table, typing away on his laptop.
---
Another time was when he had made plans out of nowhere to hang out with his friends and ditch out on the two of you had planned.
It was a rare weekend when Bakugo didn’t have patrol or missions lined up.
You had planned a quiet day together—something simple, just the two of you.
But as you were setting up breakfast, his phone buzzed on the counter.
Bakugo glanced at the screen and smirked. "It’s Kirishima. He wants to hit the gym and grab lunch afterward. I’ll be back later."
Your stomach sank. "I thought today was for us? We haven’t had a day off together in weeks, Katsuki."
He blinked as if realizing for the first time that you might have feelings about this. "We can hang out later. It’s not like I’m gone all day. Plus, I haven’t seen the guys in a while."
You bit your lip, trying to keep your disappointment in check. "But we haven’t seen each other in a while either."
He paused for a second, then ruffled your hair in a halfhearted gesture. "Come on, it’s not a big deal. I’ll see you tonight." Before you could argue further, he was already grabbing his gym bag and heading out the door.
---
Another day came, and he did the same.
Bakugo’s dedication to his work often left him exhausted, and his sleep schedule was all over the place.
One night, you stayed up late, waiting for him to come to bed.
You had something important to talk about, but he was still in the living room, sprawled out on the couch, catching up on sleep.
"Katsuki," you called softly, standing in the doorway.
He grunted, barely lifting his head. "What is it?"
"I wanted to talk to you about something. It’s been on my mind for a while."
He groaned, sitting up slightly. "Can it wait? I just got back from a double shift, and I’m dead tired."
"But it’s important," you insisted, stepping closer.
He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Y/n, I can’t deal with anything serious right now. Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?"
The next day came and went, and so did the conversation. You couldn’t help but wonder if you’d ever get the timing right.
---
Then, of course, came another.
One evening, Bakugo was in the backyard, practicing his explosions while you watched from the patio.
You had been waiting for him to finish so you could spend some quality time together, but he was completely absorbed in his training.
"Hey, Katsuki," you called out, waving at him. "How much longer are you going to be out here?"
"Not now, babe," he shouted back, his voice carrying over the sound of crackling explosions. "I’m almost done!"
Almost turned into an hour, and by the time he came inside, you were curled up on the couch, half-asleep.
He walked past you, grabbing a water bottle from the kitchen.
"Sorry, I lost track of time," he said, but there was no apology in his tone.
You gave him a small smile, too tired to argue. "It’s okay," you mumbled, though deep down, you wondered if he even realized how much you had been waiting for him.
---
In each of these scenarios, Bakugo’s priorities—whether work, friends, or personal routines—seemed to overshadow his time with you. While his intentions might not be malicious, his actions often left you feeling overlooked and craving the attention he gave to everything else in his life.
───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
The evening was calm, the golden light of the setting sun filtering through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow across the counters.
You stood at the stove, carefully stirring the simmering pot of stew. The gentle aroma of sautéed vegetables, rich broth, and spices filled the air, blending seamlessly with the soft hum of the overhead fan.
Tonight, you had decided to prepare something special—something hearty and comforting, like the conversation you hoped to have with Bakugo.
It had been a while since the two of you had truly spent time together.
His hero work had consumed most of his days, leaving you with fleeting moments of his presence.
You understood, of course, the weight of his responsibilities, but that didn’t make the distance any easier.
So, as a gesture of love and an attempt to reconnect, you had spent the better part of the evening preparing this meal.
The kitchen was cozy, lit by the soft glow of under-cabinet lights.
Plates were set neatly on the table, silverware arranged perfectly beside them.
A bottle of chilled sparkling water stood in the center, and the faint crackle of the stovetop added a soothing rhythm to the room.
You glanced at the clock on the wall, noting the time. He should be home any minute now.
You adjusted the flame under the pot, letting the stew bubble gently, and moved to check on the freshly baked bread cooling on the counter.
The sound of the front door opening broke the quiet, followed by the rustling of heavy boots on the doormat.
Your heart gave a small flutter at the familiar noise.
He was home.
You didn’t look up from your task, your focus fixed on the pot as you gave it one last stir.
Toward the front door, the faint creak of the door closing reached your ears, followed by the soft thud of a duffle bag hitting the floor.
Bakugo’s presence filled the space immediately, even without a word.
The faint scent of smoke and ash mingled with the aroma of dinner, a signature of his return after a long day on patrol.
You heard the stretch of leather as he raised his arms high above his head, likely working out the stiffness from hours of action.
His footsteps echoed softly against the hardwood floor as he made his way down the hall.
You could picture him rubbing the back of his neck, his hair likely a mess from the day’s exertion.
The sound of his approach grew louder, each step deliberate yet unhurried, as if he were easing back into the calm of home.
You stayed at the stove, stirring slowly, waiting for him to join you in the kitchen, the moment of connection hanging in the air like the steam rising from the pot.
The clatter of the wooden spoon against the pot ceased as you set it down gently on the counter.
Wiping your hands on the apron tied snugly around your waist, you turned toward the kitchen's pillared entrance.
The soft shuffle of Bakugo’s steps nearing the kitchen tugged at your curiosity, and you couldn’t help but abandon your task momentarily.
You stepped around the corner, leaning casually against the frame of the kitchen entrance.
Resting your hand lightly on the wall, you peeked out toward him.
The sight of Bakugo, mid-stretch with his arms behind his head, immediately brought a fond smile to your lips.
His usual scowl was softened by a tiredness that clung to him, his messy ash-blond hair catching the dim light of the hallway.
He hadn’t noticed you yet, too busy absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck, likely sore from a long day.
His broad shoulders rolled slightly as he worked out the tension, the faint sound of his knuckles popping filling the quiet space.
The corners of your lips curled further upward as you admired him in his element—worn out yet still exuding the confidence and strength you loved about him.
Before you could say anything, his crimson gaze lifted, finally catching sight of you standing there.
His expression didn’t shift much—just a subtle raise of his brows as if to acknowledge your presence.
You straightened slightly, your smile warm and inviting as you prepared to greet him.
But before you could utter a word, he spoke first, his gravelly voice breaking the silence.
“I’m going upstairs to shower. Gotta get this grime off my body.” His tone was matter-of-fact, and he started walking toward you without breaking stride, cracking his knuckles as he moved.
Your smile didn’t falter as he approached, though the hurriedness of his words made you hesitate. “Oh, well, that’s great,” you began, your voice light and teasing. “But don’t take too long becau—”
“Oh yeah, by the way, before I forget,” he interrupted, his voice cutting through yours without a hint of malice, just his usual bluntness. “The gang and I are gonna hang out later, so I won’t be home for long.”
The abruptness of his words hit you like a splash of cold water. Your mouth hung slightly open mid-sentence, the rest of your words caught in your throat.
Bakugo’s gaze didn’t linger long, already focused ahead as though his announcement was nothing out of the ordinary.
Bakugo’s heavy boots thudded softly against the wooden floor as he approached you, his expression unreadable but relaxed.
He stopped just in front of you, his tall frame towering slightly over yours.
The familiar scent of ash and sweat lingered faintly, a testament to his grueling day.
Without a word, his hand reached out, rough but warm, and landed gently on your head.
His fingers ruffled through your hair in a way that was both playful and dismissive, tousling it slightly.
A light smirk played on his lips as he pulled his hand back, his crimson eyes meeting yours briefly.
“I know you can handle things here, so I’ll leave you to it,” he said, his voice low and casual, like he hadn’t just brushed past the idea of spending time with you.
As you stood out in front of him, the confidence and courage you had gathered from cooking in the kitchen had disappeared.
Now that you felt this way, there was no way you were going to bring up spending time with him over dinner.
Even though you had spent all evening preparing this relaxing for the both of you to enjoy, you couldn’t bring yourself to to tell him.
You were scared that if you had opened up, he might have gotten angry and dismissed all your worries with his furrowed brows.
Your heart sank a little at his words, but you forced a small smile, not wanting to let it show.
He turned on his heel without a second glance, his footsteps carrying him toward the staircase that led to the second floor of your shared home.
As he walked, his broad shoulders swayed slightly, his relaxed demeanor a stark contrast to the tension that suddenly gripped your chest.
You stood frozen for a moment, your mouth hanging slightly open, the words you wanted to say stuck somewhere in your throat.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you blinked rapidly, willing them away. You hated how they burned, how they threatened to spill over.
This wasn’t the first time Bakugo had brushed things off, but tonight, with the effort you’d put into dinner and the mounting distance you felt between you two, it stung more than usual.
He reached the first step of the staircase, his hand brushing against the railing as he prepared to ascend.
At you stood, something inside you snapped—a small but resolute voice urging you not to let the moment slip by.
Swallowing hard, you gathered the courage you had left, your voice trembling slightly but steady enough to cut through the air.
“Can I go too?”
Bakugo paused mid-step, his back still facing you, as the silence stretched between you both.
For a moment, you wondered if he had even heard you or if he’d continue up the stairs without a response.
Then, he turned his head slightly, revealing his side profile, his crimson eyes glancing at you.
“You wanna come?” he asked, his tone even and unreadable, a single brow raised in surprise.
Your hands instinctively came together, fidgeting as you avoided his gaze.
“Yeah,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Gathering a bit more courage, you glanced up at him, noticing his blank expression.
It only lasted a second before you looked down again, unsure how your request would be received. “I mean, if that’s okay…”
Bakugo stared at you for a beat longer, his brow still raised as if trying to gauge your seriousness.
Then, his features softened, his raised brow lowering as he gave a small, nonchalant nod.
“Yeah, uh, sure,” he said, his voice carrying a casualness that made it hard to tell how he really felt.
Without another word, he turned back toward the stairs.
Relief washed over you, and a small smile crept onto your face as you followed his movements with your eyes.
It wasn’t much, but his agreement made you feel a little better, a small step toward closing the gap that had been forming between you two.
As Bakugo reached the first step of the staircase, he stopped again, his hand on the railing.
He turned his head just enough to look back at you, his expression neutral but firm.
“I’m leaving by 6, so get ready,” he said, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.
Then, without waiting for a response, he ascended the stairs, his heavy footsteps echoing through the quiet house.
You stood there in the kitchen, your smile slowly fading as his words sank in.
Glancing at the half-finished dinner you’d worked so hard on, your arms dropped to your sides, mirroring the exhaustion settling in your chest.
The kitchen felt colder now, emptier, as you stood there alone, staring at the plans you’d made that now felt insignificant.
With a deep breath, you tried to shake off the weight of disappointment, forcing yourself to move and tidy up the counter.
But no matter how much you willed yourself to focus on the task at hand, the sting of his casual dismissal lingered, leaving a quiet ache in its wake.
───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
The soft hum of the Porsche's engine filled the quiet evening air as Bakugo sat in the driver’s seat, his hand drumming absentmindedly on the steering wheel.
His gaze occasionally flicked toward the house, his sharp crimson eyes scanning for any sign of you.
The minutes ticked by, and though he didn’t say it out loud, he was growing impatient.
But there was a part of him that understood why you were taking your time—he had sprung this last-minute outing on you, and you deserved a moment to get ready properly.
Inside, you were slipping on your white Converse, carefully tying the laces with precision.
The finishing touch to your outfit had just been added—a chic combination of blue jeans, a navy blue tank top, and a white cardigan that fell perfectly against your frame.
You smoothed down the fabric, giving yourself a once-over in the mirror by the door.
Your navy blue purse rested comfortably on your shoulder, and the messy bun you’d styled earlier sat perfectly atop your head, with the white headband completing the look.
Satisfied, you grabbed your keys and reached for the door handle.
As you stepped outside, the soft glow of the porch light illuminated your figure.
The evening air was cool against your skin, and the faint scent of freshly cut grass lingered.
You glanced toward the sleek black Porsche parked in the driveway, where Bakugo sat waiting for you.
Inside the car, Bakugo looked up as the light from the open door seeped out, drawing his attention.
His sharp gaze landed on you, and for a moment, his breath hitched.
You looked stunning—effortlessly chic yet understated, the kind of beauty that didn’t need to try too hard.
The way the soft curls framed your face, the navy blue of your tank top complementing your skin, and the casual elegance of your outfit made his heart skip a beat.
He blinked, trying to maintain his usual composure, but the faintest tint of pink crept onto his cheeks, betraying him.
It was subtle, just enough to hint at the effect you had on him, but it was there.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly as he tore his eyes away for a brief second, trying to recover.
"Damn," he muttered under his breath, glancing at the dashboard as if it could somehow distract him.
But his gaze inevitably drifted back to you, his expression softening in a way only you could bring out in him.
He didn't say anything just yet—he wasn’t the type to gush—but the way his cheeks betrayed a rare blush spoke volumes.
The soft hum of the Porsche’s engine was steady as Bakugo sat, his hand draped nonchalantly over the steering wheel while the other rested against his mouth.
His sharp crimson eyes flicked away from you as you descended the steps toward the car, trying to keep his focus elsewhere.
The blush that had crept onto his cheeks earlier lingered faintly, and though he wouldn’t admit it, seeing you like this had thrown him off his usual composure.
You opened the passenger door with care, stepping into the car and adjusting yourself in the plush seat.
The faint scent of Bakugo’s cologne mingled with the new-car smell, giving the cabin a warmth that was uniquely him.
As you closed the door gently behind you, you glanced up to see him leaning against the driver’s side, his elbow propped on the car door and his hand casually gripping the wheel.
His relaxed posture was natural, but the way his eyes darted toward you from the corners of his vision betrayed a subtle curiosity.
“Sorry I took so long,” you said softly, brushing a loose curl behind your ear.
Your voice broke the quiet tension, and you weren’t sure if you imagined his lips twitching into a faint smirk.
“It’s fine,” he replied, his tone gruff yet calm, as he adjusted himself in the seat and placed both hands on the wheel.
Hearing the simplicity of his response made you smile, a quiet warmth blooming in your chest.
You carefully removed your bag from your shoulder, placing it neatly on your lap.
Bakugo, meanwhile, shifted the car into reverse, the soft rumble of the engine vibrating beneath you as he backed out of the driveway with precision.
You stole a quick glance at him from the corners of your eyes.
The streetlights outside cast a warm, golden hue that framed his sharp jawline and stern features as he focused on maneuvering the car.
He looked so effortlessly confident, so in control—it was hard not to admire him.
Reaching up, you flipped open the vanity mirror above your head, giving yourself a quick once-over.
You smoothed down a stray curl and checked your lipstick, making sure everything was still in place.
Satisfied, you closed the mirror with a soft click and adjusted in your seat, letting your gaze wander back to him.
The quiet of the ride was broken only by the sound of the tires rolling over asphalt and the faint hum of the radio playing low in the background.
You bit your lip lightly, debating whether or not to say what had been on your mind.
Finally, you took a small breath, your fingers beginning to fidget nervously with the strap of your bag.
“Sooo…” you began, your voice tentative as you glanced out the window, gathering your thoughts.
Bakugo didn’t respond immediately, his focus remaining on the road ahead. His silence urged you to continue, so you did.
“How do I look?” you asked, your tone light yet tinged with curiosity.
Your gaze flickered toward him briefly before quickly looking back down at your lap, where your fingers continued to toy with your bag strap.
The quiet hum of the car filled the space between you and Bakugo, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.
His eyes were fixed on the road, one hand on the wheel, while the other rested lazily on the gear shift.
You waited patiently, watching him through your peripheral vision, hoping for some kind of reaction to your question.
He didn’t answer immediately, his gaze momentarily darting toward you before returning to the street ahead.
The streetlights flickered as they passed, casting warm, golden hues across his sharp features.
His silence stretched on, and for a moment, you wondered if he hadn’t heard you.
Finally, Bakugo turned his head slightly, his crimson eyes flickering toward you.
His gaze traveled up and down, taking in the effort you’d put into your outfit—the way your cardigan fell over your tank top, the way your jeans fit perfectly, and the way you’d styled your hair just so.
His expression remained stoic, but his eyes lingered just a beat longer than usual before he turned back to the road.
“You look,” he began, his voice even though there was a slight edge of hesitation.
He glanced at you again, briefly meeting your expectant gaze before focusing back on the street.
You could see his jaw tighten slightly, as if he were searching for the right words. “Good.”
That was it. Just one single, lackluster word.
Your shoulders sank immediately, the corners of your mouth pulling down as disappointment washed over you.
You slumped back into the passenger seat, crossing your arms loosely over your chest and shifting your gaze out the window.
You had spent so much time getting ready, hoping that maybe this time, he’d notice—really notice—and say something that would make you feel special.
But “good” was all you got.
Bakugo, on the other hand, was far from unaffected, though he certainly didn’t show it.
His mind was racing, replaying the moment he’d glanced at you and the way your face had lit up with hope.
His knuckles tightened slightly on the steering wheel, and a bead of sweat formed at his temple as frustration with himself began to build.
His brows furrowed as he stole another glance at you.
You were staring out the window now, your expression unreadable but your body language screaming disappointment.
“Tch,” he muttered under his breath, gripping the wheel tighter.
You remained quiet, sinking further into your seat as the car rolled through the neighborhood streets.
Your fingers toyed with the edge of your cardigan, your mind replaying the moment over and over.
Maybe you’d set yourself up for disappointment.
Maybe this was just who he was—gruff, blunt, and not the type to shower you with compliments.
Still, you couldn’t help the small ache in your chest.
Bakugo’s jaw clenched as he continued to drive, the silence between you both growing heavier with each passing second.
───────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────
The drive to Kirishima’s house was silent, the tension lingering like an unspoken weight between you and Bakugo.
He didn’t try to make conversation, and honestly, you weren’t sure you’d be able to respond even if he did.
Your disappointment sat heavy in your chest, though you were doing your best to push it down and keep your composure.
When the car finally rolled to a stop in front of Kirishima’s house, Bakugo shifted into park and stepped out without a word, slamming his door behind him.
You sighed softly, your fingers gripping the strap of your purse as you reached for the handle of the passenger door.
Opening it, you slid out of the car, closing it gently behind you.
Bakugo was already several steps ahead, his strong strides carrying him toward the house without so much as a glance back at you.
You swallowed hard, your throat feeling tight as you followed behind him, your fingers nervously playing with the strap of your purse.
You felt small and distant, the space between you and Bakugo feeling far more than just physical.
As Bakugo reached the front porch, the sound of laughter and chatter drifted through the air, spilling out from behind the closed door.
The lively atmosphere of the gathering inside only seemed to amplify the quiet distance you felt from him.
Bakugo raised a hand and knocked on the door firmly, stepping back slightly as he waited.
You stopped a few paces behind him, your hands gripping your purse strap tightly as your mind raced.
You were determined to stand tall, to keep your emotions in check and not let anyone see how you were feeling.
The door swung open after a few seconds, revealing Kirishima’s grinning face.
His red hair was as wild as ever, and his cheerful energy was almost infectious.
“Yo, man! You made it!” Kirishima greeted Bakugo with a hearty slap on the shoulder before turning his attention to you. “Hey! Good to see you too!”
“Hey, Kiri,” you said softly, forcing a small smile as you stepped closer to the door.
“Come on in! Everyone’s already here,” Kirishima said, stepping aside to let the two of you in.
You followed Bakugo inside, the warmth and energy of the room enveloping you immediately.
Mina, Jirou, Denki, and Sero were sprawled out in the living room, laughing and chatting amongst themselves.
Mina was the first to notice your arrival, her eyes lighting up as she waved enthusiastically.
“Hey, you two!” Mina called out, jumping up from her seat and rushing over to you.
She wrapped you in a quick hug, her bubbly personality as bright as always. “You look so cute tonight! I love your outfit!”
“Thanks, Mina,” you replied, your smile faltering slightly as you glanced toward Bakugo.
He was already making his way toward the group, offering a brief nod of acknowledgment before settling into a seat near Sero.
Denki grinned, leaning back on the couch and tossing a chip into his mouth. “Look who finally decided to show up. We thought you might’ve bailed on us, Bakugo.”
“Shut it, Sparky,” Bakugo shot back, though there was no real bite in his tone.
As the group erupted into laughter, you found yourself lingering near the edge of the room, unsure where to place yourself.
Mina noticed your hesitation and grabbed your arm gently.
“Come sit with us! You can’t just stand there looking all pretty and quiet,” she teased, leading you toward the group.
You let her guide you, settling into a spot on the couch beside Jirou.
The lively conversation around you was a stark contrast to the swirling emotions in your chest, but you did your best to blend in, laughing when it felt appropriate and nodding along to the banter.
All the while, your eyes occasionally flicked toward Bakugo.
He was laughing with Sero and Denki, his usual gruff demeanor softened slightly by the presence of his friends.
But not once did he look your way, and that small detail gnawed at you more than you wanted to admit.
You inhaled deeply, forcing yourself to focus on the moment and not the ache in your chest.
Tonight was about being with friends, and you were determined to make the most of it, even if things with Bakugo felt more complicated than ever.
You sat on the couch, nestled between Jirou and Mina, trying to focus on their lively conversation.
Bakugo was across the room, laughing with Sero and Denki as if the weight of the world didn’t exist.
You glanced at him briefly, your chest tightening before quickly averting your eyes back to Mina, who was animatedly recounting a story about a recent date with Kirishima.
“So, get this,” Mina said, her face lit with excitement. “Kiri and I went to this new arcade last week, right? And they had this claw machine he swore he could beat. It was filled with these little red dragon plushies—totally his thing, you know?”
Jirou smirked, leaning back against the couch. “Let me guess. He spent way too much money trying to win one?”
“Way too much!” Mina exclaimed, throwing her hands up dramatically. “But he finally got it, and he was so proud of himself. It was adorable.” She giggled, her expression softening.
“Honestly, though, it’s not even about the claw machine. Kiri and I just… we have fun, you know? We go out, we talk about everything.”
Jirou nodded, a small smile tugging at her lips. “That’s exactly how it is with me and Denki. He’s a dork, but he’s my dork. We go to concerts, hang out at record stores, and just… talk. Like, really talk. He tells me about his day, his dreams, even the dumb stuff that happens during patrols. It’s nice, being so connected.”
The warmth in their voices as they spoke about their relationships was palpable, and it made you feel like a shadow in their light.
You shifted in your seat, suddenly hyper-aware of the tightness in your throat.
“And you,” Mina said, turning her bright eyes toward you. “How are things with you and Bakugo?”
Jirou tilted her head, her expression curious but kind. “Yeah, how’s it going? You two seem solid.”
The question hit you like a punch to the gut.
You opened your mouth, but no words came out at first.
Your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your cardigan, and you forced a smile, even as your chest felt like it was caving in.
“Oh, we’re fine,” you said, your voice a little too high-pitched. You cleared your throat quickly, trying to steady yourself. “Everything’s good. Really good.”
Mina beamed. “That’s great! You two are like, the power couple. I mean, he’s Bakugo—grumpy as hell but so in love with you. It’s obvious.”
“Totally,” Jirou added, nodding. “You balance each other out, right? He’s all intensity, and you’re like this calming presence. It works.”
You laughed softly, the sound hollow to your own ears. “Yeah, it works,” you echoed.
They bought it, smiling warmly at you before diving back into their own banter.
But inside, you felt like you were crumbling.
The truth was, things weren’t fine.
They hadn’t been for a while. Bakugo’s constant focus on work, his friends, and his own world had left you feeling like an afterthought.
You glanced at him again.
He was leaning back in his chair, laughing at something Denki said, his sharp features softened by the rare smile on his face.
It was a side of him you loved, but right now, it only made the ache in your chest worse.
Forcing yourself to stay present, you turned back to Mina and Jirou, nodding along to their conversation.
You couldn’t let them see the truth—not here, not now.
So you plastered on your smile and pretended everything was fine, even as the weight of your unspoken feelings threatened to crush you.
---
An hour passed as you, Mina, and Jirou chatted away about everything under the sun—relationships, patrol stories, and even a hilarious moment when Denki shocked himself trying to fix a broken lamp.
Despite the warmth of their company, a small part of you still felt detached, your earlier feelings lingering like a shadow.
Mina, ever the bubbly one, suddenly perked up. “Hey, I just thought of something! Let’s go to the other room and watch a movie! I’ve been dying to see that new romance everyone’s talking about. What do you think?”
Jirou shrugged, a hint of a smile on her face. “Sounds good to me. I could use a break from all the noise out there.”
You hesitated, but the thought of getting away from the others, even for a little while, seemed appealing. “Yeah, sure,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside.
The three of you made your way to a quieter room down the hall.
It was cozier than the bustling main area, with soft lighting and a plush couch that wrapped around most of the room.
The atmosphere immediately felt more intimate and calm, a perfect escape.
Mina grabbed the remote and flopped onto one side of the couch. “Alright, let’s get this show on the road!”
Jirou settled next to her, her legs tucked beneath her while you took the other end of the couch.
The movie started, its opening scenes filled with charming banter and budding romance.
The three of you fell into a comfortable silence, the story drawing you in.
As the movie progressed, the lighthearted moments gave way to more emotional scenes.
The characters faced challenges, their love tested by misunderstandings and miscommunications.
Then, the pivotal scene arrived.
The male lead stood in the rain, his face etched with regret as he argued with the female lead.
Her voice broke as she shouted, tears streaming down her face. “You don’t get it! I feel invisible to you!” she cried, her words hitting too close to home for your comfort.
Your chest tightened as you watched her crumble, her emotions raw and unfiltered.
The male lead, realizing his mistake, stepped forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed against his chest.
Your heart ached, the scene striking a chord that you couldn’t ignore.
The floodgates opened, and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face.
Your breathing grew shallow, and your palms began to sweat as you clutched the couch cushion beside you.
Mina and Jirou, engrossed in the movie, didn’t seem to notice your reaction at first.
But as you sniffled quietly, Jirou glanced over, her expression softening. “Hey, you okay?” she asked, her voice gentle.
You quickly wiped your cheeks, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just… really emotional,” you said, your voice wavering slightly.
Mina turned her head, concern flickering in her eyes. “It’s okay to cry, you know. Scenes like this get me every time,” she said, offering you a reassuring smile.
You nodded, appreciating their kindness but feeling exposed nonetheless.
The movie continued, but your mind was elsewhere.
The female lead’s words echoed in your head, intertwining with your own unspoken feelings.
“I feel invisible to you.”
The weight of those words settled in your chest, and though you tried to focus on the screen, the tears wouldn’t stop.
You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to keep it together, but the truth was, you felt more vulnerable than ever.
The tears came harder, no longer quiet sniffles but soft, trembling sobs that you couldn’t hold back.
The scene on the screen blurred as your vision clouded with tears, and your chest felt impossibly heavy.
Mina and Jirou both turned toward you, their expressions shifting from casual concern to alarm.
“Whoa, hey… are you okay?” Jirou asked, leaning closer, her voice gentle but tinged with worry.
Mina’s brows furrowed, her lips pressing into a thin line.
She grabbed the remote and paused the movie, the room falling into silence except for your shaky breaths.
She scooted closer to you, her hand resting lightly on your arm.
“Alright,” Mina said firmly, her tone serious but warm. “What’s going on? This isn’t just about the movie, is it?”
You shook your head quickly, trying to wipe the tears away with the back of your hand, but they just kept coming.
“It’s nothing,” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.
Jirou gave you a skeptical look. “Come on, don’t do that. You’re obviously upset.”
Mina nodded, her grip on your arm tightening just slightly in encouragement. “Yeah, we’re here for you. So whatever it is, just say it.”
For a moment, you hesitated.
The lump in your throat made it hard to speak, and you didn’t want to burden them with your feelings.
But the way they looked at you, genuinely concerned and ready to listen, broke down the last of your defenses.
“It’s… it’s Bakugo,” you finally admitted, your voice cracking as fresh tears rolled down your cheeks. “I just… I feel like we’re drifting apart.”
Mina’s eyes softened, and Jirou tilted her head slightly, her expression thoughtful.
“What do you mean? Did something happen?” Mina asked, leaning forward, her tone gentle now.
You took a shaky breath, your hands fidgeting nervously in your lap. “I don’t know… it’s like he’s always so busy, and when he’s home, it’s like I’m not even there. He doesn’t notice when I try to do things for him. I cooked dinner tonight, hoping we could eat together and talk, but he just brushed it off and left to hang out with you guys.”
Mina’s face fell, a pang of guilt crossing her features. Jirou’s lips pressed together, her brow furrowing.
“I know he’s a hero, and I know his job is demanding, but… I just feel so invisible to him sometimes. Like I’m not a priority,” you continued, your voice trembling. “And I’m trying so hard to be okay with it, but it’s just… it’s hard.”
Mina reached for your hand, squeezing it tightly. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t realize things were like this.”
Jirou nodded, her gaze serious. “That sounds really tough. You shouldn’t have to feel like that, especially not with someone who’s supposed to care about you.”
You sniffled, grateful for their support, but still feeling the weight of your emotions. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I love him, but… it feels like he’s slipping away.”
Mina wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into a comforting hug. “You’re not alone in this, okay? We’ll figure it out. And honestly, Bakugo needs to hear this too. He probably doesn’t even realize how much he’s hurting you.”
Jirou nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he’s not exactly the most emotionally aware guy, but he cares about you. You just have to tell him how you feel.”
Their words brought a small measure of comfort, but the thought of confronting Bakugo about your feelings still terrified you.
You knew they were right, though. Something had to change.
You sat there in Mina’s embrace, your tears slowly subsiding, though your chest still felt tight.
The weight of their words lingered, and you knew they were right.
As terrifying as it seemed, you had to talk to Bakugo.
But how? He wasn’t exactly the type to sit down and have a heart-to-heart.
Mina pulled back slightly, her warm hands resting on your shoulders as she looked you in the eye. “You have to tell him,” she said firmly.
“And not in a ‘hinting’ kind of way. Lay it all out. He’s not good at picking up subtle stuff.”
Jirou nodded, leaning back on the couch. “Yeah, Bakugo’s not gonna magically figure it out. But if you’re honest with him, I think he’ll listen. He’s stubborn, but he’s not heartless.”
You sniffled, wiping your face with the sleeve of your cardigan. “I just… I don’t want to come off as needy or like I don’t support him. I know how hard he works.”
Mina sighed, shaking her head. “Girl, no. This isn’t about being needy. This is about being in a relationship where you feel seen and loved. You’re allowed to have needs, too.”
Jirou added, “And honestly? If he doesn’t get that, then that’s on him. Relationships are about both people putting in effort. It’s not all on you.”
You nodded slowly, their words sinking in.
It wasn’t easy to hear, but deep down, you knew they were right.
You couldn’t keep bottling everything up and hoping things would magically improve.
Mina smiled softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “Look, Bakugo might be a hothead, but he’s not a bad guy. If he knew you were feeling this way, I think he’d do something about it. But you’ve got to give him the chance to step up.”
You sighed, fiddling with the strap of your purse. “I guess I’ll try talking to him later… when we’re alone.”
“Good,” Mina said with a nod, her tone encouraging. “And if you need backup, you know where to find us.”
Jirou smirked slightly. “Yeah, we’ll set him straight if he doesn’t get the message.”
The three of you shared a small laugh, the tension easing just a bit.
Mina grabbed the remote and turned the movie off completely, standing up and stretching.
“Alright, let’s get back to the others before they start wondering what we’re up to.”
You nodded, standing up and smoothing out your clothes.
As the three of you made your way back to the main living room, you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you.
Anxiety, hope, and determination all competed for space in your heart.
As you stepped into the room, Bakugo was standing near the corner with Kirishima, laughing at something Sero had said.
His usual sharp smirk was etched on his face, but there was something different in the way his eyes flickered toward you, a hint of something unreadable beneath his confident exterior.
For a moment, you just watched him, debating how you’d navigate the rest of the evening while the conversation with Mina and Jirou still echoed in your mind.
What you didn’t know, however, was that Bakugo had heard everything.
It wasn’t intentional.
On his way to the bathroom earlier, he had walked past the closed door of the cozy room where you and the girls had been talking.
At first, he hadn’t thought much of it—just chatter from Mina and Jirou, nothing unusual.
But then he caught the sound of your voice, trembling slightly, and his feet had stopped.
He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. Really, he hadn’t.
But something in your tone made him pause, leaning against the hallway wall just out of sight.
He listened as Mina and Jirou pressed you about how things were going between the two of you.
He heard the way your voice wavered when you said everything was fine—so unconvincing that even he could tell it was a lie.
And then came the confession.
You weren’t happy.
You felt ignored, neglected.
You felt like he didn’t see you anymore.
The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, he couldn’t breathe.
You, the person he cared about most, felt like you were slipping away, and he hadn’t even noticed.
His knuckles clenched, and his jaw tightened as he leaned his head back against the wall.
Guilt surged through him, hot and unrelenting. He wasn’t great with emotions; he knew that.
But hearing you spill your heart out to your friends, feeling like he didn’t care enough—it stung more than he wanted to admit.
When Mina and Jirou encouraged you to talk to him, he heard the hesitation in your voice, the fear of being seen as needy or overbearing.
It made his chest ache. You should never feel like that—not with him.
He had walked away before you left the room, needing a moment to collect himself.
By the time he rejoined the group, his mind was racing.
As you stepped into the living room, Mina nudged you gently with her elbow. “You’ve got this,” she whispered before heading to the group, leaving you to take a deep breath and square your shoulders.
Bakugo, standing near the corner, glanced your way.
His sharp smirk remained, but his eyes lingered on you a little longer than usual, softening for the briefest second before he turned back to Kirishima and the others.
He didn’t say anything, but in the back of his mind, he was already planning.
He wouldn’t let you feel like this again. Not if he could help it.
---
The night had wound down, and one by one, everyone began saying their goodbyes.
Mina and Kirishima gave you tight hugs, Mina giving you a reassuring smile as if to silently remind you of the conversation you’d had.
Jirou patted your arm, her subtle way of showing she was rooting for you.
Bakugo, meanwhile, was his usual self—casual nods, a few gruff “See ya’s,” and a fist bump for Kirishima.
His energy seemed as steady as ever, though you noticed the way his eyes flickered toward you more than once, a slight crease in his brow that he didn’t quite hide.
As the two of you made your way to his car, the quietness of the night enveloped you.
The cool breeze brushed against your skin, and the sound of your shoes crunching against the gravel filled the silence.
You felt Bakugo’s presence ahead of you, his confident stride unchanging, though he occasionally glanced back to make sure you were keeping up.
When you reached the car, he pulled his keys from his pocket, unlocked the doors, and slid into the driver’s seat.
You followed, gently closing the passenger door behind you and placing your bag on the floor by your feet.
The faint scent of leather and his cologne filled the space, a scent you usually found comforting.
Without a word, Bakugo started the engine.
The low rumble of the car filled the stillness as he pulled out of the driveway and onto the street.
His hands rested on the wheel, firm but relaxed, his eyes trained on the road ahead.
You glanced at him from the corner of your eye, trying to read his expression, but it was the same stoic mask he always wore.
The weight of the evening felt heavy in your chest, and despite the warmth of the car, you felt a chill run through you.
The drive was quiet at first, the soft hum of the engine the only sound between you.
You wanted to say something, anything, but the words felt stuck in your throat.
You fidgeted with your fingers, your gaze shifting between the passing streetlights outside and Bakugo’s profile.
He hadn’t said much since you left Kirishima’s house, and it left you wondering if he’d noticed the distance between you—or if it even mattered to him at all.
Bakugo’s hands tightened slightly on the wheel as he drove, his jaw clenching and unclenching as if he was working through something in his mind.
His gaze remained steady, but every now and then, you noticed his eyes flicker toward you, though he said nothing.
The silence was deafening, and with every passing second, it felt like the space between you grew larger.
Finally, unable to take the tension anymore, you shifted in your seat and let out a soft sigh, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Thanks for driving,” you said, your tone polite but distant.
He grunted in response, a low “Yeah,” his focus still on the road.
The quiet settled again, heavier this time, and you found yourself staring out the window, the lights of the city blurring past.
You wanted to say more, to breach the gap between you, but something held you back.
Bakugo, meanwhile, stole another glance at you, his expression unreadable.
He wanted to speak, to address the weight in the air, but the words felt foreign to him.
For now, he just drove, the road stretching ahead, both of you caught in your own thoughts.
The car hummed softly as the city lights flickered past, but the silence between you and Bakugo felt louder than anything else.
You leaned your head against the cool glass of the window, your eyes fixed on the blurred scenery.
Your hand rested on your lap, fingers nervously fidgeting with your nails as your thoughts raced.
What had started as disappointment had now spiraled into uncertainty.
You couldn’t shake the weight of the conversation with Mina and Jirou, nor the growing chasm between you and Bakugo.
You’d tried so hard to keep it together, but being here, so close yet feeling so far, made it even harder.
Bakugo kept his eyes on the road, his grip on the wheel firm.
Inside, he was battling a storm of emotions.
The echoes of your words from earlier replayed in his mind, mingling with the snippets of the conversation he’d overheard at Kirishima’s.
“I just… I don’t know how much more I can take.”
He wasn’t good with words.
Hell, he wasn’t even good at feelings most of the time. But he wasn’t stupid—he could feel the distance, and it frustrated him because he didn’t know how to close it.
His crimson eyes flickered to you briefly.
The way you sat there, so quiet and withdrawn, tugged at something deep in his chest.
He hated seeing you like this, especially knowing he’d been the one to make you feel this way.
After what felt like forever, Bakugo’s resolve finally cracked.
His hand hesitated on the wheel, fingers tightening for a moment before he let out a sharp breath.
Slowly, almost cautiously, he reached over.
His hand covered yours, warm and slightly rough, the weight of it grounding you.
You blinked, startled by the sudden contact, and turned your head to look at him.
Bakugo didn’t meet your gaze right away.
His eyes stayed focused on the road ahead, his jaw tight, like he was bracing himself for something.
His thumb shifted slightly, brushing against your fingers in an awkward but earnest gesture.
“Hey,” he said, his voice quieter than usual, almost hesitant. “Stop doin’ that.”
You stared at him, confused. “Doing what?”
“Fidgetin’ like that,” he muttered, finally glancing at you for a split second before looking back at the road. “You’ll mess up your nails or somethin’.”
His words were gruff, almost dismissive, but the way his hand stayed on yours told you there was more to it.
He wasn’t just talking about your fidgeting—he was trying, in his own clumsy way, to tell you he cared.
Your chest tightened as you looked down at your joined hands.
The warmth of his touch, the slight awkwardness of the gesture—it all made your emotions bubble up again, but this time, they weren’t as heavy.
“Katsuki…” you began, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Don’t,” he interrupted, his grip on your hand tightening just a fraction. “Don’t say it. Not here, not like this.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat, and leaned back against the seat.
For the first time that evening, the silence between you didn’t feel quite as suffocating.
The car came to an abrupt stop at a red light, but the tension in the car felt like it had slammed into a wall at full speed.
Bakugo’s hand hovered over the wheel, his knuckles white as he gripped it.
His chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, but your anger was a storm now, and it couldn’t be contained.
“Seriously?” you demanded, your voice sharp and trembling. “If not here, then where? If not now, then when?”
Your hand yanked away from his, the warmth of his touch replaced by the cold sting of frustration. “You always say that, Bakugo. You always brush our problems away. You… you brush me off like I’m some kind of bug.”
His eyes darted to you, his lips parting as if to defend himself, but you didn’t give him the chance.
“You treat me like I’m not worth your time,” you continued, your voice cracking under the weight of your emotions. “Do you even know what I was doing before you came home? I was cooking dinner. For you. For us.”
Your hands shook as you gestured toward him, your words pouring out in a rush. “I did all of that so we could talk, so we could try to fix this. Just so I could know—know for sure—that I mean something to you.”
The light turned green, and Bakugo hit the gas with a little more force than necessary, his jaw tight as he stayed silent.
But you couldn’t stop now.
“But of course,” you spat, your voice rising, “your friends are more important! Work, training, hangouts—all of it is more important than me!”
The car swerved slightly as Bakugo’s grip faltered, and he shot you a glance, his brows furrowed in frustration and guilt. “But they’re not! You’re more important—”
“Don’t give me that crap!” you cut him off, your voice almost a shout now. “If I’m so important, then why do you keep pushing me away? Why do you make time for everyone and everything else but not for me? Huh? Answer me!”
Bakugo’s mouth opened, but no words came out. His silence was deafening, and it only stoked the fire inside you.
“Why, Katsuki?” you pressed, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt. “Why do I have to fight so hard to feel like I matter to you?”
The car pulled into your driveway, and Bakugo threw it into park, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly it looked like he might snap it in two.
For a moment, the only sounds were your ragged breaths and the faint hum of the engine.
Finally, Bakugo exhaled sharply and turned to you, his crimson eyes filled with a mixture of guilt, frustration, and something else—something softer, something that looked a lot like regret.
“You do matter,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You mean everything to me, damn it. I just… I don’t know how to show it.”
But you shook your head, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “That’s not enough, Katsuki. It’s not enough to just say it. I need to feel it. And right now, I don’t.”
Your words hung in the air, heavy and unshakable, as Bakugo stared at you, his expression unreadable.
For once, the explosive hero had no words, and the silence between you felt like it could split the world in two.
Your chest heaved as the emotions you’d been holding in for so long spilled over.
Tears streamed down your face, your voice trembling and raw as you finally let everything out.
“Why couldn’t you have just spent time with me?” you cried, your voice breaking as your gaze locked on Bakugo.
He flinched at the pain in your voice but said nothing, his hands clenching into tight fists on his lap.
“Why couldn’t you see that while you were having fun, I was feeling miserable?!” you continued, your words cutting through the silence like shards of glass.
Bakugo’s eyes darted toward you, filled with a mix of guilt and helplessness, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t stop.
“Listen, Katsuki...” you began, your voice softer but no less intense. “I love you. So much it hurts.” Your words hung in the air, trembling with sincerity. “But it’s starting to feel like... like you don’t feel the same.”
His head snapped up at that, his crimson eyes wide and frantic. “That’s not true!” he blurted, his voice rough and unsteady. “Don’t—don’t say that, alright?”
But you shook your head, your tears falling harder now. “Then why does it feel like I’m always fighting for your attention? Fighting for a moment of your time?”
Your voice cracked, and you pressed a trembling hand to your chest, as if trying to hold yourself together.
Bakugo opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
His jaw tightened, and his gaze fell to his lap, his fingers gripping his knees so hard it looked painful.
You could see the frustration, the guilt, the turmoil swirling in his expression, but it wasn’t enough.
It didn’t fix the ache in your heart.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Like I’m not enough for you. Like I’m not your priority.”
Bakugo’s head snapped up again, his eyes blazing with emotion. “You are my priority!” he insisted, his voice desperate now.
“You’re everything to me, alright? I just... I just don’t know how to handle all this shit sometimes!”
His voice cracked at the end, and for the first time, you saw something in him you rarely did—vulnerability.
He looked at you like he wanted to say a million things but didn’t know where to start.
But it wasn’t enough. Not yet.
“Then show me, Katsuki,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. “If I mean so much to you, then show me. Because words aren’t enough anymore.”
His breath hitched, and for a moment, the only sound in the car was the faint hum of the engine.
Bakugo looked at you, really looked at you, and for once, the explosive hero seemed completely lost.
Bakugo’s chest rose and fell with unsteady breaths as he stared at you, his crimson eyes shadowed with guilt and frustration.
He opened his mouth to respond, but the words seemed to die in his throat.
His hands clenched tighter on his lap, and he turned his gaze to the steering wheel, as if looking at you was too much to bear.
The silence stretched, heavy and suffocating.
You could feel your heart breaking all over again as you watched him struggle to say something—anything—that could make it better.
“You’re right,” he finally said, his voice low and strained. “I’ve been a shitty boyfriend.”
The admission startled you.
Your breath hitched, and you blinked through your tears as you waited for him to continue.
“I’ve been so focused on everything else—work, training, trying to keep up with everyone—that I didn’t realize what it was doing to you. To us.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, the motion rough and frustrated. “And that’s on me.”
His voice trembled slightly, and he slammed his fist against the steering wheel, the sharp thud breaking the tense quiet. “Dammit, I didn’t mean to make you feel like this. Like you don’t matter.”
You watched him, your tears still falling, but something in his voice tugged at your heart.
It wasn’t just guilt; it was desperation.
“But you do, alright?” he said, turning to face you fully now. His crimson eyes locked onto yours, raw and unguarded.
“You matter more than anything else in my life. I just... I don’t know how to balance it all without screwing it up.”
His hands trembled as they rested on his thighs, and you realized how much it was costing him to admit this.
Bakugo Katsuki, the man who always seemed so sure of himself, so strong and unshakable, was unraveling in front of you.
“You’re not the problem, alright? I am,” he continued, his voice softer now. “And I swear to you, I’ll fix this. I’ll fix us. Just... don’t give up on me yet.”
Your heart ached at the vulnerability in his words, but the pain you’d been carrying for so long still lingered.
You looked at him, your tears blurring your vision, and took a shaky breath.
“Katsuki, I’m not asking for perfection,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I’m asking for you to try. To make me feel like I’m worth it. Like we’re worth it.”
He nodded, his jaw tight as he swallowed hard.
“I will,” he said, his voice firm despite the emotion in his eyes. “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll be better. For you.”
You stared at him, searching his face for sincerity, and what you saw there made something in your chest loosen.
He looked at you like you were his whole world—like he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.
For the first time in a long time, you felt a flicker of hope. It was small, fragile, but it was there.
“Okay,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Bakugo nodded again, his eyes never leaving yours. “You can.”
The car fell into silence again, but this time, it wasn’t heavy or suffocating.
It was filled with unspoken promises, with the beginnings of something better.
And for now, that was enough.
---
Bakugo’s hand enveloped yours, firm yet gentle, as if he was anchoring himself to you.
The warmth of his grasp communicated what his words had struggled to convey earlier—a need, a desire to hold on to you no matter what.
The silence in the car was filled with unspoken understanding as you both sat there, the weight of the evening settling between you.
When the car finally pulled into your driveway, you barely had time to move before Bakugo was already out of the driver’s seat.
He strode purposefully around the car, his movements sharp yet filled with intent.
You blinked in surprise as he opened the passenger door, crouching down to your level.
His crimson eyes met yours, raw and unguarded. “You mean a lot to me,” he began, his voice steady but thick with emotion.
“So much... and I’m sorry for not showing you.”
Your breath caught in your throat as his words tumbled out, each one more heartfelt than the last.
“I’m sorry for not replying. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m sorry for not showing up,” he continued, his voice cracking slightly as he leaned closer.
“I promise, though, from now on... everything I do, I’ll do it with you on my mind.”
His hands found their way to your thighs, a touch so gentle and deliberate it sent a shiver through you.
It wasn’t just an apology—it was a plea, a vow.
“I promise you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, “that from now on, I’ll do everything in my power to make you feel loved. So please, don’t give up on me. Please, don’t lose hope.”
Your heart clenched at the vulnerability in his tone, the rawness of his confession.
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you managed a small, wavering smile as you placed your hand over his.
“You swear?” you asked, your voice trembling with emotion.
His grip on your thigh tightened just slightly, his crimson eyes boring into yours with unwavering determination.
“I promise,” he said, his voice firm yet soft.
That was all you needed to hear.
A small, genuine smile spread across your lips as you nodded.
For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt the weight lifting off your chest.
After a moment, Bakugo stepped back slightly, holding out his hand to you.
You placed your hand in his, and he helped you out of the car with a gentleness that contrasted his usual brash demeanor.
Once you were both standing, he didn’t hesitate—he pulled you into a tight, almost desperate hug.
His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as if he was afraid you’d slip away.
His head rested against your shoulder, and you could feel the tension in his body slowly melting away.
“I missed you,” you whispered, your fingers threading gently through his spiky blonde hair.
“I missed you more,” he murmured against your shoulder, his voice low and filled with emotion.
You stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other’s warmth, the world around you fading into insignificance.
It was as if time had paused, giving you both a chance to reconnect, to heal.
When he finally pulled back, his hands still rested on your waist, and his gaze locked onto yours.
The intensity in his eyes took your breath away, and before you could say anything, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss.
It wasn’t just a kiss—it was an apology, a promise, a declaration.
His lips moved against yours with a fervor that made your knees weak, his hands tightening slightly on your waist as if to ground himself.
You responded just as passionately, pouring every ounce of love, frustration, and hope into the kiss.
When you finally pulled apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads resting together.
His crimson eyes softened as he looked at you, a small, genuine smile tugging at his lips.
“Thank you,” he said softly. “For not giving up on me.”
You smiled back, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. “Just don’t make me regret it.”
He chuckled softly, his voice lighter than it had been all evening. “I won’t. I swear.”
In that moment, standing together in the driveway under the soft glow of the porch light, you felt something shift between you.
A new beginning, built on honesty and love. And for the first time in a long time, you believed things could truly get better.
ADULT BAKUGO FANFICTION
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cowboybeepboop · 3 months ago
Text
Kiss the chef 
 "Oh God...keep doing that..." 
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Pairing: Clark Kent x fem! Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 5.7k
Summary: Clark is your best friend, who you suspect of being Superman. 
a/n: Guys I’ve been like obsessed with writing but I have zero time 😔 it’s torture and I’m also running out of ideas for the names of each oneshot they’re getting crazy 😭 Also yes, I’m aware I shift perspectives a lot, thats a stylistic choice 👍
Clark hums softly as he moves around the kitchen area, his hands working diligently as he prepares dinner for the two of you. 
He glances over his shoulder, his eyes catching a sight of you lounging on the couch, completely engrossed in your phone, a smile forms on his lips as a gasp escapes yours.
"Almost done in here," he says, his voice laced with a hint of contentment. "You find anything interesting on there?"
He turns his attention back to the meal, stirring something in a pan on the stove while sneaking glances your way, curious to know what's capturing your focus.
“Actually, yes.” You reply, hopping up and joining him in the kitchen. “There’s new photos of Superman that were just released.” You gushed, he knows about your crush on the hero, yet doesn't know that you’re imagining him as Superman.
Clark quirks an eyebrow, a slight amused smile on his face as he pretends to be surprised at the news. 
"Really?" he says, feigning intrigue, not that he would need to fake it. "New photos, huh?"
He watches you from the corner of his eye as you join him in the kitchen, the mention of Superman stirring something within him.
You lean against the counter, your eyes locked on the screen. “Mm, it smells good.” you murmur, setting your phone down and looking at the food he’s prepared, your mouth nearly watering at the sight.
"Thanks." Clark replies, a proud smile spreading across his face as he watches you eye the dish with appreciation. He glances in the direction of the screen, seeing a glimpse of the photos of Superman before returning his focus to you.
"Hopefully it tastes as good as it smells." He teases, scooping up a spoonful of the food from the pan and offering it for you to taste.
You eagerly open your mouth, holding onto his wrist as you taste the flavor, you let out a satisfied noise. “It’s really good, like really good.”
Clark can't help but chuckle at the sound you make while tasting the food, his heart fluttering slightly at the way you hold onto his wrist. 
"I'm glad you like it." He says, a hint of pride in his voice. "I put a little extra love into it just for you."
He scoops up some more food and offers it again, watching your reaction intently.
You step closer, taking the spoon into your mouth again, enjoying the way he’s feeding you small bites. “I should hire you as my private chef.” You sigh, licking your lips as you look at the pot.
"Careful, I might take you up on that offer." Clark replies, his eyes following the movement of your tongue as it licks your lips. 
He sets the spoon down, then leans against the counter next to you, his arm casually resting next to yours. "Just imagine me cooking for you every night." He muses, a hint of playfulness in his voice.
“Sounds like heaven to me.” You grin at him, reaching for your phone as the screen lights up.
"Heaven, huh?" Clark muses, he glances at the lit-up screen, the photo of Superman once again catching his eye. He clears his throat, trying to keep his composure. "So, uh, what's so special about these new photos anyway?"
“You can see all of his muscles..” you murmur, eyes fixated on the photos. “I mean they’re such high quality, just look.” You show him the screen, your cheeks flushed a slight pink.
Clark swallows the words and the photos you show him causing a stirring within him. He struggles to keep his expression neutral as his eyes flick between the screen and you.
"Yeah, they're really uh, really high quality." He clears his throat, his eyes lingering on the image, specifically the muscles you mentioned. "You really like this guy, don't you?"
You nod, turning your phone off and slipping it into your back pocket. “I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to meet him..” you shiver at the thought.
Clark's heart flutters at your words, a mix of guilt and amusement playing within him. He can't help but wonder what your reaction would be if you knew the truth.
"Meet him, huh?" He remarks, his voice low and a touch hesitant. "What would you even do if you ever met him?"
“I can think of a couple things,” you reply suggestively, wiggling your eyebrows for further effect.
Clark blushes slightly at your suggestive reply, a mix of flustered surprise and amusement on his face. He glances away for a moment, trying to regain his composure. 
"A couple things, huh?" he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice. "Well, I hate to break it to you, but I doubt the Man of Steel has time for...whatever it is you're thinking."
“Every man has time for..” you grin, “What I’m thinking of.” Clark's blush deepens at your response, his heart skipping a beat. 
He scratches the back of his head, trying to remain cool and collected, though he can't entirely hide the effect your words have on him.
"Uh, yeah, well," he stammers, a bit of nervous energy in his voice. "I'm sure the Man of Steel has much bigger priorities than...meeting fans and fulfilling...fantasies."
“Maybe.. Or maybe he has all the time for his eager fangirls.” You pull your hair into a ponytail, slyly exposing your nape to him as you notice how flustered he's becoming.
A wave of heat washes over Clark as you expose your nape to him, and he struggles to keep his composure. His eyes linger on the exposed skin for a moment, his thoughts swirling with a mixture of desire and restraint.
"Eager fangirls, huh?" he teases, trying to maintain his cool demeanor. "You certainly seem eager enough."
You giggle, watching as he turns off the stove. “I do, don’t I?”
Clark tries to ignore the way your giggle sends a shiver down his spine, turning his attention back to the stove instead. He swallows hard, desperately trying to keep his mind from wandering.
"You certainly do," he replies, his voice slightly strained. "And I have a feeling you're pretty relentless too."
“You know it.” Your grin grows as he plates the food, grabbing both in his hands as he leads you back to the living room. Clark balances the plates as he moves, he places them on the coffee table, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the way your grin makes his heart race.
"Should we watch something? A movie perhaps?” he clears his throat as he changes the topic.
“Mm.. yeah, you pick what we watch.” You settle on the floor in front of the couch, your back pressing against his knee.
Clark can't help but savor the feeling of your back against his knee, a mix of contentment and desire swirling within him. He grabs the remote, flipping through possible options but not really paying attention, his mind too preoccupied with the proximity of you and your intoxicating scent.
"How about, uh..." He struggles to think of a suitable movie as he glances down at you, his heart rate increasing. "How about that one?" he points to a movie at random.
“Sounds good.” You agree, focused on the food in front of you.
Clark tries to focus on the movie as it plays, but his attention is constantly drawn to you, the way you sit, the way you eat, the way your scent fills the air. Every little detail seems to distract him.
As the movie progresses, he finds himself inching closer to you, his knee pressing more firmly against your back. He tries to act nonchalant, hoping you don't notice his increasing closeness.
As you finish your food, you lean back against his leg further, playing on your phone. “You know, I’ve been thinking..”
Clark stiffens slightly as you lean back further against his leg, the feeling sending a thrill through him. He tries to remain nonchalant as he responds.
"Thinking? About what?" He glances down at you, his eyes flicking to your phone before meeting the back of your head again.
“You’re a reporter.” You begin, turning to look at him. “If you ever met Superman, would you tell him about me? Put in a good word..” you’re hoping that prompting him might reveal his secret.
A pang of guilt hits Clark at your question, but he forces a smile, trying to maintain composure. He knows the truth, that he *is* Superman, but hearing you talk about him like that, asking him to put in a good word...it's both endearing and painful. 
"I...uh, yeah, sure." he says, his voice a bit strained. "If I ever met him...I'd definitely mention you."
“You’re such a good friend.” You smile, turning your attention back toward the tv though your mind is obscured with disappointment.
As you turn your focus back to the TV, Clark lets out a shaky exhale, the words "good friend" stinging a little more than he expected. He remains silent for a moment, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts.
He glances down at you, the mixture of guilt and affection swirling inside him. He can't help but wonder what would happen if you ever found out the truth.
You reach for your wine glass, taking a small drink of the crimson liquid. Clark watches as you take a sip, the way your lips touch the glass making his heart skip a beat. He clenches his fists, fighting the urge to reach out and touch your face, your hair, anything.
"You, uh, like the wine?" he asks, trying to keep his mind from wandering.
“It’s actually really good, I usually hate wine.” You reply, “Where did you get it?”
Clark watches you take another sip, a hint of surprise on his face at your admission. He glances over at the half-empty bottle on the coffee table.
"Oh, it's from a small vineyard in Italy.” he answers, trying to keep his voice casual. "A friend gave it to me, said it was a special blend. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion, actually.”
His eyes linger on you once more, the sight of you drinking the wine stirring something within him.
“Then why did you waste it?” Your eyebrows furrow as you turn to look at him, confusion painted on your face.
Clark’s heart flutters slightly at your question, a mix of surprise and affection coursing through him. He tries to maintain his composure as he speaks.
“W-waste it?” he repeats, his voice slightly hoarse. “I don’t think sharing it with a...a friend is a waste.” His eyes meet yours, a hint of uncertainty in his gaze as he wonders if you can see through his facade.
“But it’s not particularly a *special* occasion, is it?” You cock your head to the side, shifting your body to face him.
Clark swallows, feeling your gaze on him as you turn to face him fully. He can see the curiosity in your eyes, the subtle hint in your question.
“I...I suppose not.” he admits, his voice soft. “Not in the traditional sense, anyway.” He studies your face, his heart racing as he wonders if you suspect something.
You narrow your eyes at him, scanning his features. “Clark..”
Clark feels a hint of alarm as you narrow your eyes, your gaze intense as you seem to be studying him. He can sense your suspicion, and it makes his heart race even faster.
“Y-yes?” he replies, his voice slightly shaky. He tries to keep his expression neutral, but he can’t quite hide the nervousness that’s beginning to show.
“You look..” you lean closer, eyes glued to his every movement. “You really do look a lot like him.” biting down on your lip as you rest your hands on his knees.��
Clark’s heart stutters at your words, his breath catching in his throat. He tries desperately to maintain eye contact, but he can feel his resolve slipping away under your intense gaze.
“Like who?” he stutters, knowing full well you’re talking about Superman.
“You know who,” you roll your eyes at his response, leaning closer to peel his glasses off his face, your fingers brush over his cheekbones. Warmth pools in your stomach as you consider the consequences of pushing him any further. 
Clark's eyes widen as you reach for his glasses, he swallows hard, feeling a mix of panic and anticipation. He knows he should stop you, but he can't bring himself to move as you draw closer.
You fold them up and set them on the coffee table behind you. “You’re really handsome.” You murmur under your breath as you gaze up at him from your position on the floor, hands itching to touch his skin once again.
Clark's breath hitches at your compliment, his heart fluttering as he takes in your words and your proximity. He can feel the heat rushing to his cheeks as you look up at him, the mix of nervousness and desire swirling within him like a tempest.
He can't help but respond, his voice barely above a whisper. "You..you think so?" He reaches out, catching a strand of your hair between his fingers, twirling it around his forefinger. 
“Of course.” You smile, leaning your elbows on his knees. “Clark, we don’t have any secrets between us do we?” your breath seems to get caught in your throat, dropping hints isn’t working anymore, you’ll have to be more direct with him. 
Clark tries desperately to push down the panic that rises in his chest at your question. He knows he should say something, anything, but the words get stuck in his throat.
His gaze flicks around the room, trying to find anything other than your eyes to focus on, but it's no use. He can feel your expectation, the way you're searching for the truth. He glances down at you again, the sight of you leaning on his knees making his heart flutter,
"N-no," he stutters, his voice strained. "No secrets."
You can tell he’s not being truthful, your expression faltering. “You’re lying.”
Clark swallows hard, the wave of guilt that washes over him nearly overwhelming. He can see the disappointment in your face, the way your expression falters, and it guts him.
He can't keep lying to you, not like this. He looks away, unable to meet your gaze, his voice small.
"I...I am." he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.
“What is it you’re hiding?” You murmur, eyes locked on his beautiful blue ones.
Clark can feel his facade collapsing with each passing second. His heart pounds in his chest as he looks back at you, your gaze intense and searching. He can almost feel the truth on the tip of his tongue, threatening to burst out.
“You can tell me anything.. Clark, we’re friends.” You move to sit next to him on the couch.
Clark takes a deep breath as you move closer, sitting next to him on the couch. The feeling of your proximity, the warmth of your body next to him, it's both a comfort and a source of anxiety.
He gazes at you, his eyes betraying the mixture of emotions raging inside him. He wants to tell you, to share this secret, but he's also terrified of how you'll react when you find out you’ve been crushing on him. You place your palm on his leg, offering some comfort.
Clark feels your hand on his leg, the touch sending a wave of warmth through him, calming his nerves slightly, but not enough to quiet his worries.
"I..." he begins, his heart pounding in his chest. "I don't know how to say this, but..." He takes another deep breath, his voice soft, low, and filled with trepidation. "I'm Superman."
“I knew it!” You gasp, eyes widened as you straighten up next to him.
Clark's eyes widen at your exclamation, the suddenness and volume of your voice taking him aback. He hadn't expected such an immediate reaction, let alone you to believe him so readily. He watches as you straighten up next to him, a mix of surprise and relief washing over him. 
"Y-you did?" he stutters, his heart still racing.
“I mean of course, I’ve had my suspicions. Every time I speak of Superman it makes you turn pink.” You tease him lightly.
Clark feels his cheeks flush with color at your statement, the truth of your words hitting him hard. He blushes even more red as a result, the heat in his face growing in intensity.
He glances at you, a mix of embarrassment and relief in his expression. "I, uh, I didn't think it was that obvious," he mutters, his voice sheepish.
“Only because I know you so well.” You grin proudly. “But, I have another question for you.”
Clark can't help but feel a pang of affection as you grin at him, your confidence and familiarity with him making his heart flutter. He nods, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Ask me anything," he says, his voice slightly more relaxed now that the secret is out.
“Does the man of steel really not have time for one of his fans?” You bite down on your lip.
Clark's heart stutters at your words, the change in your tone sending a wave of desire through him. He can feel his own heart rate spike as you bite down on your lip, your eyes filled with a mixture of teasing and want.
He sucks in a breath, his voice slightly hoarse as he manages a response.
"The man of steel has plenty of time for his...biggest fan."
“Biggest fan hm?” You question, sliding onto his lap and straddling his hips.
Clark's breath catches in his throat as you slide onto his lap, your body settling on top of him. He swallows hard, his heart racing as he looks up at you, your face so close to his he can almost taste your breath.
He places his hands tentatively on your hips, his fingers gently gripping the fabric of your clothes as he responds, his voice thick with desire. "The biggest. And the most beautiful."
“Clark..” you lean down, nose brushing against his. “Can I kiss you?”
Clark can feel your breath on his skin as you lean down, your nose brushing against his. His heart hammers in his chest, the sound of your voice sending a wave of anticipation through him. He gazes up at you, his eyes filled with a mix of desire and adoration. 
"Please," he whispers, his voice barely above a breath. "Please...kiss me."
You cup his face, fingers dancing over his skin as you connect your lips softly.
Clark's eyes flutter shut as you cup his face, your fingers tracing gentle paths on his skin. The softness of your touch ignites a fire within him, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that's both gentle and passionate.
He lets out a soft moan, his hands moving from your hips to wrap around your waist, pulling you closer against him.
The kiss quickly turns hungry, your lips part to let his tongue in. Your body is pressed flush against him, hands tangling in his hair as you tug on the roots gently.
Clark's tongue explores your mouth with a hunger that takes him by surprise. He tightens his hold on your waist, pulling you closer against him, his body reacting to every move you make.
He lets out a low moan as you tug on his hair, the feeling sending a wave of pleasure through him. He responds by biting your lip gently, his hands slowly caressing the skin of your back.
You pull away for a breath, Clark's chest heaves as you pull away, his eyes opening slowly to take in the sight of you. Your lips, swollen and glistening from the kiss, make his heart stutter, the need to kiss you again almost overpowering.
He gazes at you in awe for a moment, his breathing ragged, before speaking, his voice slightly hoarse.
"You have no idea what you do to me," he whispers, his hands still holding you close.
“I think I have some idea,” You tease, glancing down at the tent growing in his slacks. “I can feel it, you know.”
Clark follows your gaze, his heart skipping a beat as he sees the effect your presence has on him. He swallows hard, his eyes darting back up to meet yours, a mixture of embarrassment and desire playing across his face.
He responds, his voice low, his fingers gently caressing your hip.
"That's...that's all your fault," he says, his words laced with a hint of accusation and appreciation.
“My fault?” Your hand begins to trail down his chest. “Then I guess I should take responsibility, take care of it.” You murmur, leaning forward to kiss his neck.
Clark's breath hitches as your hand trails down his chest, his heart rate quickening in anticipation. Your touch is fire on his skin, igniting every nerve.
He groans softly as you lean forward to kiss his neck, his head tilting to give you better access. Your words and the feeling of your lips on his skin send a wave of desire through him, his body reacting to your touch.
"Responsibility, huh?" he manages to reply, his voice strained. "I like the sound of that."
“I can finally do what I’ve been dreaming of doing to you..” you whisper into his ear, your hand finally making contact with his erection.
Clark's breath hitches at your words, the sound of your voice in his ear sending a shiver down his spine. He can feel the heat of your body as you lean in closer, your hand finally making contact with his hardness.
He lets out a low moan, his body responding to your touch with an intensity he's never felt before. "Oh fuck..." He looks at you with hooded eyes, his voice thick with need. 
You reach for his shirt, pulling it off of him. “Holy shit, Clark.” Your eyes widen at the sight of his muscles, a soft gasp escaping your lips as you stare.
Clark feels a wave of heat as you pull his shirt off, the air cool against his skin. He watches as your eyes widen at the sight of his muscles, the look of desire in your eyes making his heart race.
He knows how strong he is, how powerful his body is. But hearing your reaction, seeing the effect he has on you, it's something else entirely.
"You like what you see?" he asks, a hint of teasing in his voice, his muscles flexing under your gaze.
You lean forward, kissing his chest. “You have no idea.” You mutter, fingers trailing over each muscle as your other hand continues to massage his clothed hardness.
Clark's breath catches in his throat, his body reacting to your touch, your kisses on his chest sending waves of pleasure through him. He can't help but arch into your touch, his muscles responding to your caress.
He lets out a low moan, his voice strained as he speaks, "Oh God...keep doing that..." He's lost in a haze of pleasure and desire, his eyes half-lidded as he gazes at you.
Clark's breath catches in his throat as your kisses move lower and lower down his stomach, each touch sending a wave of pleasure through him. He gasps as your tongue teases over his abs, his eyes watching your every move.
His hands grip the edge of the couch as you work on his belt, his desire for you growing with each second. He lifts his hips slightly to help you remove his pants, the feeling of your hands on him almost too much to bear.
Once his pants and boxers are removed, he's left naked in front of you, sitting on the couch with his legs spread apart. He gazes at you, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.
He's completely under your spell, his entire being focused on you and only you. "Come here." He reaches for you, his voice soft and needy. 
You bring your lips to his once again, the kiss passionate and hungry. Clark responds to your passionate kiss with a fervor of his own, pulling you closer against his body, his hands roaming over your back, your hips, everywhere he can reach. He's lost in the kiss, in the feeling of your body against his.
He can't get enough of you, his need for you growing with every passing second. He moans softly into your mouth, his body reacting to your touch, his hard length pressed against your thigh.
You reach to grasp his erection, his thick cock barely fitting in your grasp. You begin to move your hand, slowly jerking him off as the kiss becomes more intense.
You pull away from his lips to catch your breath, your eyes hooded in desire. “You’re huge..”
Clark's breath catches at your words, the praise sending a shiver down his spine. He can feel your hand on him, stroking him slowly, the feeling overwhelming yet perfect.
“It’s perfect.. you’re perfect.” You slip off of his lap, settling between his muscular thighs.
Clark's heart flutters at your words, affection washing over him. He watches you move down between his thighs, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of you so close to his cock. He reaches down, gently running his fingers through your hair, his voice soft but filled with need.
"I could say the same about you," he says, his eyes meeting yours, his body alive with anticipation. "You're...you're incredible."
You lean in closer, wrapping your soft lips around the head of his cock, your eyes fluttering shut as you taste the salty sweetness of his precum. The room is filled with the sounds of your gentle slurps and Clark's moans of pleasure. 
Your hand grips the base firmly, stroking in sync with your mouth as you take more and more of him in, inch by glorious inch. You feel him swell in your grip, the veins pulsing with his excitement. 
You moan around him, the vibration sending shockwaves through his body. His hand tightens in your hair, guiding your pace as your tongue swirls around the tip, teasing the sensitive spot beneath the head. 
You look up at him through hooded eyes, watching his reaction as you deepthroat him, his face a mask of pure ecstasy. The intimacy of the moment is intoxicating, both of you lost in the sensual dance of your mouth and his cock, the tension building as the pleasure crescendos.
With every bob of your head, Clark's moans become louder, his eyes never leaving yours. The connection between you is palpable, the intimacy of the moment amplifying every sensation. 
His cock grows in your mouth, the taste of him driving you wild. You savor the feeling of his hands tangled in your hair, guiding you, the power of his grip speaking to your desire. His eyes, filled with lust and admiration, bore into yours, creating a silent conversation of pleasure that needs no words. 
Your tongue laps at his shaft, tracing the veins that stand out against his skin, your mouth creating a warm, wet heaven around his length. Each stroke, each suck, each flick of your tongue is a declaration of your adoration, a silent promise to bring him to the brink of ecstasy and back again. 
The room feels like it's spinning around you, the air thick with passion as you both give into the carnality of the act. Your cheeks hollow with the effort of taking him so deep, but it's a challenge you eagerly accept, the thrill of his pleasure reflected in every whimper that passes your lips.
You continue to worship him with your mouth, your eyes never leaving his. The way his hips buck slightly with each deep throat, the way his abs tighten as he holds back, it's all driving you crazy. The sound of his breath hitching and his fingers tightening in your hair sends a thrill through you, making your pussy throb with need. 
You moan around him, the vibrations echoing along his length, and he can't help but thrust a little deeper into your welcoming heat. The taste of him, the feel of him, it's all you can focus on as you give him the blowjob of his life, eager to show him just how much he means to you, to show him the depth of your desire. 
You feel the tension in his body building, the way his thighs tense around you, and you know he's close. The air in the room crackles with energy, the heat from both your bodies blending into an intoxicating cloud of lust. 
You don't stop, you can't stop, you want him to remember this moment, to feel the intensity of your passion every time he thinks of you. 
You continue to devour him with your mouth, your eyes locked onto his, which are filled with a mix of disbelief and pure bliss. The connection between you is electric, your every movement a silent testament to the desire that's been simmering beneath the surface. 
Each time your lips meet the base of his cock, you can feel his thighs tense against your cheeks, and the soft groan that escapes from his lips sends shivers down your spine. You're both drowning in the intensity of the moment, your hearts pounding in time with the rhythm of your mouth and his hips. 
You can feel him swelling even more, and the knowledge that you're the one bringing him to this peak sends a thrill through you. You suck harder, faster, each motion a silent plea for him to let go. And when he does, with a final, desperate thrust into your throat, the salty warmth of his release fills your mouth, and you swallow eagerly, relishing the proof of his pleasure. 
You pull back slowly, licking your lips, watching as he comes down from the high with a sigh of satisfaction. The air is thick with the scent of sex and love, and it's all you can do to not climb onto him and feel him deep inside you, to complete this perfect moment.
Clark pulls you to him, his lip moving to your neck as he gently slides his hand under your skirt. The fabric whispers against your skin as he reaches for the waistband of your panties, his touch sending shockwaves through your body. His fingertips graze over the soft fabric before he hooks it with his thumbs, pulling them down slowly. 
His eyes never leave yours, filled with love and a desperate need to feel all of you. As the last of your barriers fall away, his erection pressed against your bare thigh, hot and demanding. His hands caress your skin as if it were the most precious thing in the world, his kisses trailing down to your collarbone, each one a promise of the passion to come. 
The air is charged with anticipation, your hearts beating in sync as you both give in to the intensity of your desires. He lifts you onto his lap, his strong arms wrapping around your waist, holding you tight as if he never wants to let you go. You can feel the head of his cock nudging at your wet entrance, begging for more, but he takes his time, kissing you deeply and savoring the moment. 
His hands cup your breasts, his thumbs flicking over your nipples in time with the rhythm of your kisses, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you. The room is a whirlwind of passion and love as you both succumb to the depth of your feelings, the promise of ultimate intimacy just a breath away.
Clark's hands hold your hips as he guides you down onto his cock, the thickness of him stretching you open as you moan with pleasure. He's gentle, so gentle, as he makes love to you, each thrust coming slow and steady, as if he's savoring every moment. His thumb finds your clit, pressing down in a firm but tender rhythm that sends electric jolts through your body. 
You lean back, gripping onto the couch cushions as he fills you completely, the sensation of his warmth and size overwhelming your senses. His eyes never leave yours, the connection between you growing stronger with each shared breath. Each stroke of his thumb sends you spiraling closer to the edge, and your moans become more desperate, your body begging for release. 
His own breathing becomes more ragged, his eyes dark with desire as he watches you come apart in his arms. The room seems to fade away, leaving only the two of you, lost in the perfect harmony of love and passion.
Clark’s eyes bore into you as he carefully guides his cock inside you, his movements tender and deliberate. The way you straddle him, the way your pussy clenches around him, it’s like nothing he’s ever felt before. His thumb continues its delicate dance on your clit, his touch a masterpiece of passion. 
Your eyes are glazed with lust, your breath coming in short, needy gasps as he takes you higher and higher. Each stroke is a declaration of his love, a promise of the intensity to come. Your moans become louder, your body moving with his in a rhythm that feels like it's been written in the stars. 
His thumb presses harder, his hips moving faster, and you feel the first tremors of your orgasm beginning to build. The tension in the room is palpable, each touch a spark that ignites the bonfire of desire within you both. You lean into him, your breasts brushing against his chest, your body craving the closeness that only he can provide. 
The sound of your skin slapping against his fills the air, a testament to the love you share. You're both lost in the moment, in the symphony of your bodies, and the crescendo is just within reach. Your nails dig into his shoulders as you get closer, your breathing shallow and erratic. 
And when the climax hits, it's like a supernova, explosive and all-consuming, leaving you both gasping for air. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear, his voice a balm to your soul as the waves of pleasure wash over you.
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ddejavvu · 2 months ago
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hiii! i was wondering if i could request a hotch x bau! reader where they’re dating and they vouch to keep their work life and love life separate but they’re both terrible at hiding how protective they are over eachother
"I'll stay here." Reid decides, already knee-deep in maps and colored pens, as if anyone thought he'd jump up and volunteer to interview the victim's family.
"Right." Aaron nods, "JJ and Prentiss are already on their way to the last crime scene."
"That leaves us to canvass the unsub's safe zone." Rossi glances between you, Aaron, and Morgan, "Y/N, come with me-"
"No." Aaron interjects, stoicism returning just as quickly as it had been abandoned.
"O-kay," Morgan glances at Hotch with a furrowed brow, misinterpreting Hotch's protests, "Y/N, come with me. They can talk about old white man stuff in the car, or whatever they're gonna do."
"No." Aaron repeats, just as unhelpful as the first time he'd said it.
You're squirming on your feet, now. He's not being subtle, even if he is being confusing. Derek and Rossi may not know why Aaron wants to keep you with him, but now they know that he does, and you're sure it won't take them long to discern why he doesn't want you gallivanting across a potential crime scene with anyone other than him.
"Right... So you take Y/N, then." Rossi says what Hotch won't, "That's okay, Morgan and I can talk about whatever's up your butt today while we're driving."
If it were anyone but Rossi, they'd have ended up with desk duty for eight weeks. But both men manage to escape sharing a snicker at Hotch's expense, and you follow dutifully after your boss as he leads you out to one of the SUVs in the parking lot.
You're waiting for the closing of his door to begin scolding him for his reckless, but he decides to make the situation ten times worse by beating you to the car and holding your door open for you. You're sure Rossi and Morgan are watching from their own SUV, and you're glad the windows are up so that you don't have to hear their jeering.
"Hotch," You speak through tightly clenched teeth, but you get in without protest, and you huff as you slam the seatbelt into its latch, which Aaron waits for before he closes your door.
"You're not subtle." You speak the second that his door shuts, "Aaron, did you forget all of our coworkers are profilers? They're going to figure us out if you don't stop giving us away like that!"
"I don't care if they figure us out." Aaron admits, hands on the wheel though his attention stays on you as he pointedly stays parked, "I don't feel comfortable letting you enter a potentially dangerous situation with anyone but me."
"Morgan wouldn't let anything happen to me," You bargain, "And neither would Rossi. Hell, you think a criminal's gonna try fighting Derek to get to me? No one's crazy enough to go up against those muscles."
"But they would be looking to take down the unsub first, and thinking of you second. I'm thinking of you first."
A thick silence hangs in the air after his words; perhaps he's realizing what he's just said- it's weight, its implications.
You put it into words, "That's not professional, Hotch. That's- that's not how a profiler is supposed to act."
"Well then I guess I'm not a very good profiler anymore." He concedes, sighing as he turns to face the road and begins driving, now minutes behind Rossi and Morgan, "Just stay with me, and let me protect you."
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solxamber · 4 months ago
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Hello, I love your writing! The isekai fics are so fun, Vil's was my favorite! Can I request the twst boys (+ staff if you have inspiration for it) comforting a reader who just breaks down in tears after the seventh overblot is resolved because they haven't had much support and time to process being in a new world away from everything they've ever known, were basically told to play therapist by Crowley, and have had their life and their friends lives at risk. Lots of angst but mostly comfort in the end! Thank you if you write this!
7th Overblot Aftermath
Characters: All NRC + Staff
hi! and thank you so much 🫶 vil was the first one I wrote I'm glad you liked it. I love this request and I hope you like it <3
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The aftermath of Malleus’s overblot felt surreal. The sky had cleared, but the air was still heavy with the weight of what had just happened. It was over. Finally over. You had seen seven overblots now, each one pushing you and your friends to the edge, forcing you to confront darkness that shouldn’t have existed in people you had come to care for.
But this one had felt different. Maybe it was because of the sheer power Malleus wielded, or maybe it was because of how fragile the world around you had seemed as you fought to bring him back. You had nearly lost him—nearly lost everyone. And you were so, so tired.
Your knees gave out, hitting the ground with a soft thud. You stared at the grass beneath you, eyes blurring with unshed tears. Everyone was celebrating the victory, but all you could think about was the sheer exhaustion gnawing at your bones, the burden of playing mediator, therapist, and survivor all at once. You hadn’t signed up for this. You had been thrown into this world without warning, away from everything you had ever known, and you hadn’t had a moment to breathe since.
“I’m so tired…” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
And then it all came crashing down. The walls you had so carefully built around yourself crumbled, and before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face. Quiet at first, but then the sobs came harder, your shoulders shaking as you finally let yourself break.
You barely registered footsteps approaching until a pair of hands rested gently on your shoulders.
Ace Trappola
"Hey, hey," Ace’s voice broke the silence, softer than you’d ever heard it before. “What’s wrong? You’re... crying.”
You hiccuped, trying to suppress the sobs that wouldn’t stop coming. Ace was never one for emotional moments—at least, not the serious kind. He usually joked his way out of anything too heavy, but right now, he seemed out of his depth.
“C’mon, don’t cry,” he mumbled, his voice awkward but concerned. “We’ve been through worse, right? I mean, we beat Malleus of all people. If we can get through that, we can get through anything.”
He crouched beside you, his hand patting your shoulder in an attempt to be comforting, though he was clearly fumbling. “Just… talk to us, okay? We’re here. You don’t have to keep everything inside.”
You shook your head, not trusting your voice, but the tears kept coming. Ace sighed, running a hand through his hair, clearly unsure of what else to say, but he stayed close, his presence enough to remind you that you weren’t alone.
Deuce Spade
Deuce knelt down beside you, his expression full of concern. His hand hovered over your back, unsure whether to touch you, as if he was afraid of making things worse. He eventually settled on patting your back gently, his voice unsteady but earnest.
“It’s okay,” Deuce whispered, his usual tough demeanor nowhere to be found. “It’s gonna be okay. We’re all here for you. I—I didn’t realize how much you’ve been going through.”
His face was a mix of worry and guilt, as if he felt bad for not noticing sooner. “You don’t have to do everything on your own anymore. You’ve been looking out for us this whole time, and I… I didn’t see how much that’s been hurting you.”
You couldn’t respond, your throat tight with emotion. Deuce, seeing your tears still falling, gently shifted closer, offering the only comfort he knew how: his presence. “We’re friends, right? And friends help each other. So… let us help you, okay?”
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle appeared beside you, his normally rigid posture softer now. He knelt down, placing a hand on your arm, his touch surprisingly tentative. He looked at you for a moment, eyes filled with unspoken regret before he spoke.
“I should have seen how much you’ve been carrying,” Riddle began, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “You’ve been through so much—more than any of us realized. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”
His words were measured, careful, as if he was trying not to overwhelm you. “I’ve been so focused on maintaining order, on fixing things after my own mistakes, that I failed to recognize how much weight you’ve been holding on your own.”
He sighed softly, guilt clear in his voice. “You’ve been our support through everything, but you’ve had no one to lean on yourself. That’s not fair to you, and it’s not something you should have had to do alone.”
Riddle stayed close, his hand still resting on your arm, offering comfort in the only way he knew how—through quiet sincerity.
Trey Clover
Trey crouched down beside you, his presence calm and steady, like always. He didn’t say anything at first, just rested a hand gently on your shoulder, waiting for your sobs to slow. He wasn’t one for grand gestures or overly emotional words, but he didn’t need them. His quiet support spoke volumes.
“You’ve been doing a lot for everyone,” Trey said softly, his voice low and warm. “More than anyone should have to. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.”
He offered you a tissue, waiting patiently as you wiped your face, though the tears kept coming. Trey’s hand stayed on your shoulder, a grounding weight.
“You don’t have to keep everything bottled up,” he continued, his tone gentle. “We’re all in this together, you know? If you need a break, if you need someone to listen… we’re here. I’m here.”
There was no judgment in his voice, no impatience, just the quiet assurance that he’d be there for you whenever you needed.
Cater Diamond
Cater slid down beside you, his usual carefree smile nowhere in sight. Instead, his eyes were soft with concern as he pulled out a tissue and handed it to you.
“Y’know, it’s okay to break down sometimes,” Cater said quietly, watching as you wiped your face. His voice was unusually subdued, and for once, there was no joking, no lightheartedness to deflect from the situation.
“We’ve all been through a lot,” he continued, “but I think you’ve been carrying more than the rest of us. Crowley’s been dumping all this stuff on you, expecting you to handle everything, but you shouldn’t have to. Not alone.”
Cater leaned back slightly, his expression thoughtful. “You’ve been the glue holding us together. But who’s been holding you together, huh?”
You let out a shaky breath, trying to answer, but the tears just kept coming. Cater didn’t push. He just sat beside you, his presence steady, offering you the space to cry without judgment.
“It’s okay to let it out,” he said, his voice soft. “We’ve got you now.”
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Leona Kingscholar
Leona crouched down next to you, his green eyes narrowing as he took in the sight of your trembling form. He let out an exasperated sigh, as if annoyed by the situation—not by you, but by everything you’d been forced to endure.
“Ugh, this is exactly why I hate people like Crowley,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Always dumping stuff on others and never dealin’ with the mess themselves.”
He placed a heavy, warm hand on your back, his grip firm but comforting. “Listen, you ain’t weak for feelin’ like this. You’ve done more than enough, and I don’t blame you for breakin’ down. Hell, anyone else would’ve lost it way before you did.”
Leona’s tone softened slightly, his voice low and steady. “You’re tougher than most of the idiots I know. So, stop thinkin’ you gotta do everything yourself. Just rest already.” He grumbled something under his breath about humans overworking themselves, but stayed close by, a quiet, protective presence.
Ruggie Bucchi
Ruggie hunkered down next to you, his usual cheeky grin replaced by something much softer. He clicked his tongue, shaking his head lightly. “Sheesh, you really let all that pile up on ya, huh?”
He gave you a light nudge with his elbow, playful but careful. “Look, you don’t gotta carry everything by yourself, ya know? I get it—you’re tough. But even tough people gotta take a break now and then, yeah?”
Ruggie’s eyes gleamed with empathy, his voice taking on a gentle, comforting tone you didn’t hear often from him. “Life’s been a little unfair to ya, huh? I mean, Crowley dumpin’ all that responsibility on you… it’s not right. But you’re here, and you’re still standin’, even after all that.”
He flashed you a small, reassuring smile. “But you don’t gotta stand alone. You’ve got us now. Lemme know if you need a break—I’ll hustle for the both of us.” Ruggie winked, his familiar mischievousness flickering back into his expression, but the concern in his eyes remained genuine.
Jack Howl
Jack’s ears twitched as he knelt down beside you, his tail swaying slowly with a sense of unease. He wasn’t great with words, but the sight of you breaking down hit him harder than he expected. “Hey,” he began softly, his voice gruff but sincere. “You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?”
His hand hovered awkwardly for a second before settling firmly on your shoulder. Jack wasn’t sure how to help, but he wanted to—more than anything. “I know you’ve been strong… probably stronger than anyone should have to be. But it’s okay to let it out.”
He shifted slightly, trying to find the right words. “I… I know how it feels to be away from everything familiar. To feel like you don’t have anyone to lean on. But that’s not true. You’ve got me. You’ve got all of us.”
His grip on your shoulder tightened briefly, like he was silently reassuring you of his support. “You don’t have to face all of this alone. We’re here for you. And I’m not gonna let anything happen to you—or anyone else.”
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Azul Ashengrotto
Azul approached you cautiously, his usual calm and collected demeanor faltering as he saw you crumbling under the weight of everything. His steps were slow, calculated, but there was an unusual tightness in his chest. He knelt down beside you, his expression torn between concern and his usual polished facade.
“You’ve… been carrying quite the burden, haven’t you?” he asked softly, though there was a certain edge to his voice, almost as if he was angry—at the world, at Crowley, at everything that had led to this moment.
His hand hovered over your shoulder for a moment before he rested it gently, almost hesitantly. “I won’t lie to you,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “I’ve always admired how capable you are. But no one should be expected to handle what you have. Crowley’s negligence… it’s unacceptable.”
Azul glanced away briefly, his sharp gaze softening. “But you’re not alone anymore. You have us. You have me. And I promise, I won’t let anyone take advantage of you again—not without consequence.”
There was a sincerity in his words that Azul rarely revealed, a vulnerability hidden beneath his usual polished exterior. “You don’t have to keep being strong on your own. Allow yourself to lean on someone else for once.”
Jade Leech
Jade knelt gracefully beside you, his usual serene smile gone, replaced with a look of quiet concern. His movements were slow, deliberate, as though he was gauging how best to approach the situation. “My, you’ve been holding this all in for quite some time, haven’t you?” he asked, his voice as smooth as ever, but with an underlying warmth that was rare for him.
He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, his fingers light but reassuring. “You’ve done more than anyone could ask of you. It’s no surprise that you feel overwhelmed.”
Jade’s gaze flickered over your trembling form, his mismatched eyes studying you carefully. “It’s a great deal of responsibility to bear, especially in a world so far from your own. But… you’re not alone.”
There was a softness in his tone that you didn’t expect, his usual composed demeanor shifting. “You’ve been strong for everyone else. Now, allow yourself to rest. Let us take care of things for a while. You’ve certainly earned it.”
He smiled gently, his hand still resting on your shoulder, steady and reliable. “And do not worry. Should anyone try to take advantage of your kindness again, they will have me to deal with.”
Floyd Leech
Floyd approached you in his typical loose, carefree stride, but when he saw the state you were in, his usual playful grin vanished. His steps quickened, and before you knew it, he was crouched down right in front of you, his mismatched eyes widening in genuine concern. “Whoa, hey, hey! What’s this?” he asked, tilting his head as he examined your tear-streaked face.
Without hesitation, he pulled you into a tight hug—so sudden and fierce that it left you breathless for a second. “You can’t cry like this, Shrimpy. It doesn’t suit you,” he said, his voice unusually soft, though still carrying that familiar teasing edge.
Floyd squeezed you tighter, his long arms wrapping around you like a lifeline. “If things are bad, you should’ve just told me. I’d go squeeze the life outta Crowley for you—he deserves it.” He chuckled, but his grip didn’t loosen, like he was afraid you might fall apart if he let go.
He leaned back slightly, still holding you close. “You don’t gotta be strong all the time, you know? You’re my friend, and I don’t let my friends break down alone. So, whenever you feel like this, just come find me. I’ll squeeze the sadness right outta ya.” His words, though playful, carried a weight of sincerity that made your heart ache a little less.
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Vil Schoenheit
Vil stood before you, his expression unreadable, though his eyes held a rare softness. “You’ve let yourself reach this point of exhaustion,” he sighed, shaking his head slightly. “It’s not your fault, but you shouldn’t have been forced to carry this burden alone.”
He knelt beside you, his touch gentle but firm as he took your hand. “You’ve been strong for so long, but even the strongest need time to recuperate. Don’t mistake vulnerability for weakness. It takes great strength to admit you need help.”
Vil brushed a stray tear from your cheek, his voice dropping to a softer tone. “You’ve given so much of yourself, but now, it’s time to prioritize your own well-being. I won’t let you neglect yourself any longer. Remember, even a diamond can crack if too much pressure is applied.”
Rook Hunt
Rook’s eyes sparkled with emotion as he knelt gracefully beside you, his usual exuberance tempered by an uncharacteristic stillness. “Ah, mon ami, you have been carrying such a heavy heart all this time,” he whispered, his voice a melodic lilt.
He placed a hand on your shoulder, his touch light, almost reverent. “To be in a world so foreign, surrounded by danger, yet still you’ve stood tall… such beauty in your strength. But even the most resilient soul must rest.”
Rook smiled warmly, leaning closer as if to share a secret. “Let us lift this burden from your shoulders, together. You are not alone. I, too, am by your side, always watching, always ready to catch you should you stumble.”
Epel Felmier
Epel crouched down next to you, his face tight with concern. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, not used to comforting others but determined nonetheless. “You shouldn’t have had to go through all this,” he muttered, his country drawl creeping into his voice. “Crowley’s a real piece of work, throwin’ all that on ya.”
He reached out, offering a hand in his own shy way. “You’ve been tougher than most, and I admire that. But that don’t mean you gotta keep it all bottled up. It’s okay to feel this way. We’re all here for ya, and I’m not lettin’ anyone mess with you anymore.”
Epel’s expression softened, his voice gentler now. “You’ve got us, so don’t think you’re alone in this. We’ll face it all together.”
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Kalim Al-Asim
Kalim immediately rushed to your side, concern written all over his face. “Oh no! You’ve been carrying all this by yourself? Why didn’t you tell me?” he exclaimed, kneeling down and grabbing your hands with both of his, his usual exuberance tempered by a rare sincerity.
He gave you a bright, reassuring smile. “You’ve been so strong for everyone else, but it’s okay to take a break. You don’t have to do everything alone—you’ve got us! And I promise, from now on, we’re all going to make sure you’re okay too.”
Kalim’s warm eyes sparkled with optimism. “Let’s go celebrate once you feel better! Something fun and happy—just to take your mind off everything. I’ll plan the best party ever, and you can just relax, okay?”
Jamil Viper
Jamil crouched down beside you, his dark eyes watching you carefully, as if assessing your every emotion. He sighed softly, his voice low and calm. “You’ve been under more pressure than anyone should have to deal with, and none of it was your fault.”
He rested a hand on your shoulder, his touch firm and grounding. “You shouldn’t have had to bear all this alone, but you don’t have to anymore. I understand what it’s like to carry more than you should.”
Jamil’s eyes softened, though his expression remained calm and composed. “From now on, you can rely on us. I won’t let things spiral out of control again, and I won’t let Crowley push you to your limits anymore. You deserve to take a step back and breathe.”
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Idia Shroud
Idia stood awkwardly at a distance at first, his usual nervous fidgeting even more pronounced as he saw you breaking down. He hesitated before kneeling beside you, keeping his hands to himself. “I, uh… I get it,” he muttered, voice quieter than usual. “Feeling like the world’s too much to handle? Yeah, I’ve been there.”
He shifted uncomfortably but spoke with genuine understanding. “You’ve been through way more than anyone should. And, uh, it’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to act like everything’s fine all the time.”
Idia’s blue flames flickered a bit brighter as he added, “If you need to… y’know, not deal with everything, I’ve got games and stuff to help you chill out. No judgment. Just… take it easy, okay?”
Ortho Shroud
Ortho hovered closer, his usual upbeat tone shifting to something far more gentle. “You’ve done so much, and I know it’s been really hard on you,” he said softly, his mechanical voice somehow conveying warmth.
He floated down beside you, his small hand resting lightly on your shoulder. “But you’re not alone anymore! You’ve got big brother and me, and we’ll help you through everything. You don’t have to carry all this by yourself.”
Ortho gave you a bright smile, his eyes glowing softly. “Let me help you feel better! We can work together, and you can lean on us whenever you need to.”
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus approached you slowly, his imposing presence softened by the genuine concern in his eyes. He knelt gracefully beside you, his voice low and soothing. “You have been through much, more than anyone should bear. It is no wonder you feel as though the weight is too much.”
He extended a hand, his fingers brushing gently against your arm. “You are not alone in this world. I understand what it is to feel isolated, but you have friends, and you have me.”
Malleus’s gaze softened further, his voice almost a whisper. “I am here for you, as are the others. Rest now, and let us share in your burden. No harm shall come to you as long as I stand by your side.”
Lilia Vanrouge
Lilia floated down beside you with a lightness that contrasted the gravity of the situation. His usual playful demeanor faded, replaced by quiet empathy. “Ah, little one,” he murmured, his voice soft and filled with affection. “You’ve been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
He rested a hand gently on your head, giving it a comforting pat. “You’ve done well, more than anyone could have asked of you. But now, it’s time to let go of some of that burden. There’s no shame in needing help.”
Lilia smiled gently, his eyes twinkling with warmth. “You’re not alone, not anymore. We’ll protect you. You can lean on us when you need to.”
Silver
Silver knelt beside you, his calm eyes filled with quiet understanding. “You’ve been strong for a long time,” he said softly, his voice low and soothing. “But you don’t have to be strong all the time.”
He placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, his touch steady and grounding. “It’s okay to let yourself feel overwhelmed. It doesn’t mean you’re weak—it means you’ve been through too much.”
Silver’s eyes softened as he spoke. “You have friends here, people who care about you. You can rely on us. I’ll be here, watching over you, so you can rest.”
Sebek Zigvolt
Sebek approached you with his usual fervor but hesitated when he saw your tears. His sharp voice softened, though it still carried his typical intensity. “Human! You have been through much, but you must remember—you are not alone in this!”
He stood tall beside you, his green eyes blazing with determination. “You have shown strength, but it is not weak to ask for help! Lord Malleus would never allow you to suffer alone, and neither will I!”
Sebek crossed his arms, standing like a guardian at your side. “You are under the protection of Lord Malleus, and by extension, my protection! No harm will come to you now.”
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Crowley
Crowley fluttered over, his usual flamboyant demeanor subdued as he saw your distress. “Ah, my dear prefect,” he began, wringing his hands nervously. “It seems that perhaps I’ve… placed more on your shoulders than I should have.”
He knelt beside you, his expression uncharacteristically somber. “You’ve done so much for this school, more than anyone could have asked of you. And for that, I owe you a great debt.”
Crowley’s voice softened, uncharacteristically sincere. “But now, it’s time for me to take some responsibility. You’ve more than earned your rest. From now on, I’ll make sure you have the support you need.”
Divus Crewel
Crewel knelt beside you, his sharp eyes softened with concern. “You’ve been through hell, pup,” he said, his voice low but firm. “And it’s no surprise that you’re feeling the strain.”
He reached out and adjusted your collar with practiced precision, as if he could fix your emotional state as easily as he could fix your appearance. “You’ve shown remarkable strength, but even the strongest need a break."
Crewel’s voice took on a more gentle tone as he gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not expected to bear the weight of the world on your own, pup. You’ve more than proven yourself, but now it’s time for you to let others shoulder some of that burden. I won’t allow anyone to exploit your loyalty or determination again.”
He straightened up, his steely demeanor still present but tempered with warmth. “You’ve got me in your corner now. If anyone dares push you to the brink again, they’ll have to deal with me. Understood?”
Mozus Trein
Trein approached slowly, his usual stern expression softened with concern as he adjusted his glasses. “You’ve been under undue stress, haven’t you?” he observed in his deep, calming voice. “No one should be forced to handle such pressure alone.”
He knelt beside you, his demeanor fatherly as he rested a hand on your arm. “This world has not been kind to you, I see that now. But you’ve handled it all with remarkable resilience. However, even the strongest minds and hearts need time to recover.”
Trein sighed deeply, his tone softening further. “I will ensure that you are given that time, without further demands placed on you. You’ve done more than enough.”
Ashton Vargas
Vargas came over with his usual boisterous energy, but seeing you in distress made him pause. His expression softened, and he knelt down beside you. “Hey, hey! What’s all this about, huh?” he said, his voice a bit gentler than usual. “You’ve been holding up the team for too long, I see. That’s a heavy weight, and it’s no wonder you’re feeling tired.”
He placed a strong, reassuring hand on your back. “You’re tougher than you think, but even the toughest need a break sometimes. You’ve done amazing—really! But now, it’s time to rest up and let others carry the load for a bit.”
Vargas smiled warmly, his usual energy tempered with sincerity. “You’ve earned it, champ. We’re not leaving you behind. We’ll get through this together.”
Sam
Sam quietly appeared beside you, his usual playful smile replaced by something softer, more caring. “Well now, looks like you’ve been carryin’ quite the burden, huh?” he said in his deep, smooth voice.
He crouched down next to you, his hand resting on your shoulder with a firm but gentle grip. “You’ve been strong for everyone else, but you can let that go for a bit. No shame in feelin’ overwhelmed.”
Sam’s eyes twinkled kindly, and he gave you a warm smile. “Remember, you’ve got friends, and we’re all here for you. Anytime you need a little pick-me-up, you know where to find me. No more carryin’ this all by yourself, alright?”
Grim
Grim strutted over, his ears twitching as he noticed the tears on your face. “Oi, what’s this?” he huffed, trying to sound nonchalant but clearly concerned. “You’re not supposed to be cryin’. You’re supposed to be tough, like me!”
He hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to handle the situation, before awkwardly patting your arm with his paw. “Uh... stop bein’ all sad, okay? You’ve been through a lot, but you’re still here, right? And that’s ‘cause you’ve got me, the Great Grim! I mean, you’re my henchhuman, so obviously you’re tough enough to handle anything!”
He puffed out his chest, trying to inject some of his usual bravado into the situation. “I’ll take care of things next time! No need to worry. Just... stop cryin’, alright? It’s weird. I’m supposed to be the one gettin’ pampered, not the other way around!”
Despite his tough words, Grim stayed by your side, his tail flicking nervously. “But, y’know, I guess... if you need to cry, that’s fine too. Just don’t tell anyone I said that.”
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Masterlist
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