#[random shit]

[strawberryshortcake1495]

A random dream I had last night

So you know this?

Well, in my dream, it was raining SUPER hard and Stan ended up fainting due to the cold. I was talking a walk outside (with full rain gear and an umbrella ofc) when I saw his small body curled up on the sidewalk and idk some sort of maternal rage went through me. I walked over to him and checked his pulse before taking off my yellow raincoat and wrapping him in a blanket burrito. I picked him up, whispered soothing words to him, and kinda just…walked away with him. So yeah, I pretty much just kidnapped Stan. It’s okay, I’ll come back for Ford later.

[call-me-chips]

*I'm talking about every time you sit for like, more than 5-15 mins

[lilysaus]

last night i told my mom that im the only kid in my class who doesnt support trump

she then said that shed love to hear my reasons why when it wasnt 9:30 at night

so guess what i did?

i sat there for another hour compiling a whole ass google doc of all the reasons why i dont support the orange gremlin and i even included proper sources and everything

so when she does ask for the confrontation, im gonna fucking print that shit out and give it to her and my dad

and pray to god that they dont ground me for being a smartass about this

ill let you guys know when it happens and what the results are

[strawberryshortcake1495]

When I read “make grunkles look like cousins” I immediately got slapped in the face with memories from when I was a little kid and my family would go over to my aunt’s house and I’d play video games (mostly just Kirby in Dreamland cause the controls were easy to learn) with my cousins in their rooms while the adults were downstairs singing karaoke and blasting music so loud it would make the literal house vibrate.

I’m sorry OP that was so fucking random but you just unlocked a core memory for me. Thank you.

Multiple screenshots I edited recently to make grunkles look like cousins

I wonder if there’s an au like this, if not Im gonna make one

[sillylilneurodivergent]

Should I change my @ to @/jupiterisaroace @/camisaroace @/sillylilnugget @/iatemygrandma @/iatemygrandpa or keep it as @sillylilneurodivergent (or I could do my first ever @ on here……@aubkinzz)

Tags/people I want seeing this:

@saturnisaroace @scraptumblers @leoisbabygirl @the-real-agatha-harkness

@mystic-mae @aiodenhunt @spawnoferis @montythehumancrow

@little-teacupss @frenchgirltalya @brokenmilkcrates @skellseerwriting

@sleepyking @imahumashipper @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol

[marine-indie-gal]

Don't you just love it when you're combining one of your Favorite Shows with some Very CURSED Random Images? XD

[deanablack]

If we're not fools in love then what's the point

[itriedimhighandreadytodie]

Support Small Businesses mfs when small business owners defend their goods during riots:

[rink3]

Some pressure drawings that I actually finished lol

[lttl3b0nes]

[walking-at-nighttime-is-the-life]

Saturday? No, you misheard me.

Satoadday.

[engravedlives]

clown clowncore graphics stamps

[a-slashersfinalgirl]

Oh naur

[risuniya]

Hi

[upbeatmeeting]

Just putting this in the main chain

51. Don't ask Lasalle how many sabres he's broken, he will be counting for a while.

52. Under no circumstances should the 6th Hussars and the 8th Chasseurs be allowed anywhere near each other. What the fuck do you mean you've brigaded them together?

53. If your regiment of hussars is adopted by Murat, just go with it. You'll find your brigade again eventually, I think. Probably.

54. If you invite any of Lasalle's ADCs to dinner, they will get drunk and start singing.

55. Don't brag continuously about being one of only 140 men in the regiment to have a barrel sash, the others will get annoyed and someone will probably challenge you to a duel over it eventually.

56. Don't ask Oudinot about the time he stabbed that horse in the neck, unless you'd like to be stabbed in the neck yourself. Or stab yourself in the neck if he starts talking about obedience or something.

57. You're perfectly welcome to try to convince your General or Marshal not to burn down that Spanish village, but don't get your hopes up.

58. What happens in Spain, stays in Spain. Probably better that way.

59. Just because it grows out of the ground does not mean it's edible.

60. Should you find yourself captured and on parole in Britain, if the limits of your parole are fixed to some object such as a milestone, remember that an easy solution to out-of-bounds issues is to simply move said milestone to your desired location. Just don't be too obvious about it. Actual thing that happened.

Napoleonic War Survival Tips for the French Army

1. Don’t refer to Marshal Murat’s uniform as “peacock wear” within earshot of him.

2. When Napoleon pulls out a map, don’t ask, “Are we lost?”

3. If your cannonball doesn’t quite reach the enemy lines, just blame the wind. Or Berthier.

4. Don’t accidentally toast “To King Louis” at an officers’ dinner. Ever.

5. Avoid playing cards with Marshal Lannes – unless you enjoy losing your entire month’s pay.

6. Foraging in enemy territory: Always ask what’s in the stew before you eat it.

7. If you’re sent to negotiate peace, don’t open with, “Our emperor said this would be easy.”

8. During winter campaigns, remember: snowballs do not replace musket balls.

9. Don’t try to outdo Napoleon in recalling historical battles. You’ll lose.

10. If Napoleon is inspecting the troops, resist the urge to ask, “Is it true you’re shorter than Murat?”

11. Never, under any circumstances, suggest that Wellington’s redcoats “don’t look so tough.”

12. If Marshal Ney orders a charge, just assume it’s going to last until nightfall.

13. Do not ask Marshal Davout if his nickname Iron Marshal comes from his cooking.

14. If your bayonet charge fails, remember: retreat is just “advancing in the opposite direction.”

15. If someone says “This mission is simple,” expect nothing but complications.

16. In case of defeat, remember: it’s always the Austrians’ fault. Even if they aren’t there.

17. During peace negotiations, “bombing their latrines” is not considered a formal strategy.

18. If you happen to capture a British officer, refrain from gloating by saying, “See you in Paris!”

19. When bivouacked near rivers, don’t bet on crossing without some form of disaster.

20. Finally, do not point the cannons at the Emperor’s tent, even as a joke. Especially not as a joke.