#[love these guys sm. my beloved blorbos]

[something-in-your-walls]

ok I haven’t posted much recently but here’s a silly guy for you!!!

[maractean]

Here's an older set of expressions I did also based on this meme!! Some of the designs of these ocs have been updated and changed since I drew these but I'm still really proud of how they came out!!

From left to right, the ocs are:

Flora, Oliver, Glory. Jericho, Marilene, Inka, Burger, and Hopper

[averagekindergartenfan]

Y’know what, how about a sneakpeak to some Monty doodles since I’m feeling generous and brainrotty today

He probably shouldn’t have corrected his spelling . I love his pouty face ❤️

[maximoff-forevermore]

Tumblr Wrapped: BLORBOS!!

thank you sm for the tag @healmydesires 💋🫶🫶

tumblr wrapped canva template<3

i have SO much to say, but then again, i always do

i’ll start with my top five, and then do some honourable mentions because five fics is NOT a big enough list for me

1. Red Light by @kiwisbell

you may NEVER hear me stop talking about this fic. EVER. Red Light!Joel has taken up more headspace than anything else in a good long while, and i’ve reread this fic so many times if you asked me to rewrite it from memory i probably could, but i wouldn’t, because i’d never do it the justice kiwi did. this fic basically belongs to me, because no one can love it as much as me. i could go on and on, but there’s not enough time in the world.

2. The Dress Series by @janaispunk

can i let y’all in on a secret? i got the outrageous honour of talking to jana about the third part in this series, it’s like getting a shoutout from an artist winning a grammy, only better. this series restarted my obsession with dave, and i’ve had such brainrot about him since i started. LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL it’s so good, and the taylor titles GOD.

3. Las Mañanas by @kiwisbell

i had to be very careful, or else every fic on my top five list would be one of kiwi’s and people would think i’m biased (i am, just a little). so i only chose my two favourites, and this series was one of them. it brought so much light and life to the minutes i spent reading it, and i just had the best time!! javi my beloved, you have such a special place in my cold, dead heart, you wife-loving POOKIE!!

4. The In My Hometown Series by @swiftispunk

A SERIES INSPIRED BY ‘TIS THE DAMN SEASON *buries face into pillow and screams* ‘tis the damn season is one of my all time favourite songs, and it was done SUCH JUSTICE. this fic had just the right amount of everything, and i’m so grateful i got to read it!!

5. Punishment by @joelsgreys

OOOOOH HOT DAMN. there was something about this fic that made me drool, because hELLO JOEL MILLER?? gods that man is FINE AS FUCK, and this fic so perfectly captures that😫😫 i had the time of my fucking life reading it, and it was so SO worth every second. my next, pls joel🙏

those fics have such a special place in my heart, but so do many others, let’s go through them!!

Is It Over Now? by @planet-marz1 OH this one is my SHIT!!! angst is so delicious for twelve months of the year, and this one shot was me being FED. i loved every minute, and fuck joel, not in the horny way this time🙄

Sexfiles.mp3 by @beskarandblasters tim rockford, the grandma investigator, and love of my life WHERE have you been all this time?? this fic gave me that alligator-jiggling fever

the Seams series by @fuckyeahdindjarin MY BELOVED POOKIES!!!! i love lucy to the ends of the earth, and joel and pins have the CUTEST fucking relationship on the planet

A Lover’s Pinch series by @hier--soir pull me out of the dumpster and fuck me sideways GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO??? gods the sex is just so BXKANDIWNSKW clawing at my fucking WALLS!!!! i haven’t finished this series yet but when i do you may NEVER hear the fucking end of me🗣️🗣️

the Pretty Little Wife series by @beardedjoel OH MAMA, i need a fan because it is HOT AS HELL in here😫😫these fics give me such housewife-fever, i love them just a bit TOO much

Real Gods Require Blood, by @pr0ximamidnight you guys have no FUCKING idea how obsessed i am with this fic. the minute it’s possible to make fics into physical things, i will turn this fic into cocaine and snort it faster than you can scream “he’s evil!”, and even if you did scream it, i wouldn’t care, because WOW is he hot as hell

Feelings on Fire by @joelscruff CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT. CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT. CAN WE—im so obsessed. and i don’t mean that lightly. this series has CHANGED ME. i am moved. i am reborn. i am SOMETHING ELSE. i can’t get over this series i’m not sorry, it’s just so so SO good

and last, but definitely NOT least, Truth or Dare, ALSO by @joelscruff I’M SO UNWELL. I NEED HIM. I NEED THIS. I AM IN DIRE, DESPERATE NEED OF THIS FIC. it’s so so close to my heart, i actually physically cannot get over it. like, guys, GUYS. this fic is such a go-to of mine, and so close to my heart.

and that was my long, long, LONG list, but honestly, i’m not even halfway done. so many fics and so many fic writers have changed my life, and if i was less tired and had more energy to type, i’d list them all<3

all the love to every single fic writer out there, you are doing the most, and if you need someone to read something you’ve written or you think i’ll enjoy something, don’t hesitate to send it my way!!

tagging everyone who wants to participate!!!

as always, my obligatory taylor gifs:

[mandiemegatron]

pspspspspspsppspspspsspsppspsps *throws citrus at you*

Fic authors self rec! When you receive this, reply with up to five favorite fics you've written (include links, and if you want- a few thoughts about each one), then pass on to at least five other writers if you're up for it. Spread the self-love ✨

Raven ! My beloved! 😭💖💖💖 you are so precious, thank you sm for poppin' in and sending this, I love being included in things 😭😭😭😭😭😭 (also I'm comin for u, be prepared 😈)

OUGH this was so difficult, I stared at my list for so long while trying to pick my top 5 because i love everything I've written. I've put love, sweat and tears into everything but these 5 have filled me with a love that I can't help but gush about 😭

1; World In My Hands. I am starting strong with my second ever Eustass Kid fic, and this one has such a special place in my heart because it solidified the love I have for Kid while writing it. I swear his ghost took over my body while typing because the soft, ooey-gooey love that he gives in this fic was no something I was prepared to write. I had originally meant for it to be a very heavy, sexy and a little dark fic but it ended up being soft and warm and I won't lie, I cried a lil tear when I finished it because I just love the guy so so much. Big smooch for him.

3; Chilled. Small Law blurb that I recently wrote. I just wanted some love and comfort from my main mans and I love how easy his love comes to me. My fingers literally run over the keyboard when I'm in my Law moods and I'm just so happy I can write him with justice and to the point where others loves him just ad much as I do 🥺🥺

2; Losing The War. Another Eustass Kid fic, but this one was just pure angst. I needed him to hurt, and while I don't believe the man would EVER cheat or throw you aside for some cheap, quick sex, I wanted to put him into Situations™️ and make him ache. I love causing pain to my blorbos. It heals something in me :')

4; Them and Their Hats ; Shachi, Penguin and Law. My first fic where I wrote more than one person's version. Nothing but love for my boys. One of the fics that took me longest, simply because Penguin was so difficult to figure out. (I think I have the hang of him now 🤭)

5 ; To Be Loved. My very first Corazon/Rosinante fic 😭😭 I put my whole fuckin pussy into this one, one of my longest and one of my absolute pride and joys. The fic with the most notes, I still can't believe it has almost 500 notes 😭😭😭 I just love the guy so much. (My only qualm is I wish I wrote him a little more clumsy in this fic.)

AWWW RAVEN THANK YOU SO SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this was so much fun, and I love sharing my writing with all of you. Thank you all for all the love and support and for giving me the courage to keep writing.

BIG SMOOCH FOR YOU RAVEN, SPECIFICALLY 💞💖💋 you're fr such a sweet and wonderful human, I'm so happy and so blessed to be friends with you 😭😭💞 love you boo 💞💋💖

[bombshelllblonde]

hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha

¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!

hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭

also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier

in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋

bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby

dress up is my seconf favorite hobby

my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman

(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)

this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote

"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."

is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing

also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad 

ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one

im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games

anyways

tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)

ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever

micah is a bastard and i dont like him

him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️

my favorite characters rn in no particular order is

arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran

my pookies ‼️‼️

moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao

anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff

(in rdr btw)

((true story also))

yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!

my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3

also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3

i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')

Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.

my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!

a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.

i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))

i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would

[inkedmyths]

Tagged by @g1ngerbeer 10 fandoms/10 characters/10 tags ok let's see if I'm doing this right yeehaw

Trails of Cold Steel - ITS SO HARD TO PICK JUST ONE but well if I have to its gotta be Rean. The guy ever. He's done absolutely nothing wrong and the universe hates him. I love him sm. Shakes him in a snowglobe.

Star Wars - Anakin is the problematic fav ever. He's just the worst. God awful. King of bad decisions making. Virtually a demigod but is exceptionally stupid about it. Icon.

Splatoon - Does Captain 3 count. The fucking, faceplanting after doing something cool. The Booyah. The peace sign. They're so funny.

Monster Hunter - I LOVE UTSUSHI he's just so funny. Uses the word bodacious unironically. His pupil's No. 1 fan. He sparks joy your honor.

The Magnus Archives - Jon is so poor little meow meow. Just, so meow meow. Incredible character arc of bastard to pathetic to soft marshmallow with god powers and a martyr complex. Immaculate.

Legend of Zelda - Every single iteration of Impa is the GOAT. Guardian, protector, friend, she's got it all. BIG fan of Skyward Sword and Hyrule Warriors iterations specifically.

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint - YJH IS SO. Local man having depression and mental illness due to regression, and then some asshole comes around and throws approximately 50 wrenches into his plans. Unfortunately, he becomes immensely attached to said asshole. His life is a nightmare and it's funny to watch.

Pokémon - N Harmonia was baby's first blorbo and I miss him sm. We love a cult survivor learning about how the world actually works, good for him.

Percy Jackson - SPECIFICALLY the Lightning Thief Musical especially the production I watched understands Luke Castellan better than anyone ever will and I am spinning it in my head all the time

Fantasy Life - Yuelia my daughter light of my life dearly beloved she's an angel she's grace she's done nothing ever wrong and I would die for her

Ok ok can I tag 10 people. Let's see. @foolsbangle @harasharaved @dracolunae @ashenknightt @the-carrotella @rosenmarille @ephemeralcemsilee @crowreans @charxan @kulvefaggoth

[ihavenohotcocoa]

whatre your top 5 ace attorney characters

oh god this is a tough one

uhhhhhh

in particular order:

Miles Edgeworth

Klavier Gavin

Trucy Wright

Trilogy Pheonix Wright

Kazuma Asogi

See Edgeworth is the blorbo to end all blorbos, i can blame my love of traumatized rich boys on him (yeah thats right, Edgeworth walked so William could run). He's just. such a guy.

Klavier is literally just the guy ever and I hold such a huge amount of love for this character. anyways if anyone knows a hitman i could hire to kill Kristoph Gavin hmu.

Trucy is actually just me if i was good at magic. Evidence: Brown hair, blue eyes, gay uhhhhhhh also hot im allowed to be gay for the magician im also a teenager

Pheonix but only in the trilogy because he's a cringefail loserboy and unfortunately the 7-year gap makes him significantly less pathetic. Like if i can trust him to defend me in a court of law he isn't pheonix enough (that being said post-7-year-gap Pheonix my beloved)

I have only had Kazuma Asogi for like. a case and two cutscenes but I love him sm. Me and @vinegar-on-main have been doing voices for my playthrough of GAA and the way she plays Kazuma is on point. Like yeah that's my blorbo.

[rysko]

I want more of your based takes to giggle at so for the fandom ask, Marvel please

My narcissistic ass loves the opportunity to talk about my faves Red, enjoy

This will be an amalgamation of all the 'verses', im not only sticking to the mcu.

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

Miles Morales! Ever since the first Spiderverse came out i loved him. I genuinely relate(d) to him a lot, and his story and struggles resonated with me a ton. I don't like saying any fictional character 'helped' me, but he really really did.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Mobius.

Listen, i have my own beef with the Loki show (beef, as in, I wanna hunt whoever came up with that idea for sport) but Mobius is like the light at the end of the tunnel, like the tasty chocolate with some shitty toy inside. ITS OWEN WILSON PLAYING A NERVOUS, CUNTY, NERDY AGENT

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Ultron.

An awakened AI? Who visits the internet for 5 minutes and decides its time to genocide humanity? Slay. He was also like, really sassy and snarky and you already know i'm a sucker for these kinds of characters,

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

MARTIN LI MARTIN LI MARTIN LI AKA MR NEGATIVE

I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THIS MAN. I LOVE HIM. I HAVE CONSUMED E V E R Y PIECE OF MEDIA HE'S IN AND I AM STARVING. For all the lore i memorised for him i might as well be hired by marvel to think about this guy

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

I think we all know who this is gonna be.

My boy, my beloved npd having smartass (its canon because i say so), Tony.

I always was and will be Team Iron Man, RDJ is an icon that played him flawlessly. My man does not deserve the bashing he gets in the fandom nowadays.

Yes, he's selfish, narcissistic, cocky and a privileged ass, but all of it is a win in my book. If people don't like that, GOOD, more for ME.

If it wasn't Tony, then my problematic fave would probably be Redskull.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

Loki. There's a reason my favorite scenes with the guy are:

"I HAVE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES"

Him getting thrown by his brother in Ragnarok

He's pathetic, he's a loser

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

Doctor Strange, any iteration of him, be it comics, cartoons or Britishface Cucumberstache. I love him sm, but in a "puts you in a jar and shakes it violently" way. I'd send him there to see what tomfoolery he'd get up to.

i think what these asks do, is show that I'm a sucker for the cocky bastards with flamboyant tendencies

[luahecate]

warrior cats my beloved!! if you want some to design, might i suggest my fav sisters dovewing and ivypool? i'm also very attached to their parents, birchfall and whitewing. i love tigerheartstar, and all of his and dovewing's kits. snowbird of shadowclan is a personal favorite background cat as well haha. crookedstar is my blorbo and i love him sm. andddd from windclan the cursed crow/night/breeze fam is so fun to me. and heathertail my beloved!!

you don't have to design or draw any of these guys but if any of them strike your fancy i'd love to see them! <333

AAA u gave me so many good kitties to design but i choose these three!!

[idyllic-affections]

*busts down the door* I HAVE,,,,,,

THOUGHTS ON HOW MY FAV S:POP CHARACTERS COMFORT [NAME] WHEN THEYRE CRYING THAT TOTALLY DIDNT KEEP ME UP AT NIGHT AT ALL……..

scorpia who tries to be mindful of your personal space while also hugging you tightly. perfuma who skillfully weaves flower crowns for the two of you made of your favorite flowers. catra whose very awkward, but still tries, as she sits down in silence with you. frosta who constructs ice theme parks and playgrounds for you guys to play in, to help you cheer up.

LMK IF I SHOULD SEND MORE<33

SCORPIA SOBSBSBSBSB MY BLORBO MY SKRUNKLY MY BELOVED SHES SO REAL FOR THAT 🫶🫶🫶🫶 PERFUMAAAAA AUGH i just know girl makes the prettiest flower crowns AND CATRA!?!?! she is doing her best i love that for her sm AND FROSTA...... best friend kind of vibes. trustworthy sister kind of vibes. i love them all please do send your thoughts.... even though i havent watched spop in a while i will still gladly listen!!!!

[merlinemrys]

oooh, 💕 and/or 🦋 please? (also I'll get to your ask, thank u)

kissing u! mwah!

💕 what is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

funnily enough i made a whole series on ao3 of my fav fics not too long ago but for merlin it might be my mergana one, killing is a love language, mostly for the vibes

🦋 which character is your favorite to write?

ARTHUR . he is just sooooooo delicious i love being in his fucked up little head sm he's my beloved he's my blorbo he's my silly little guy

↳ FANFIC WRITER ASK GAME | SEND ME ONE !!!

[snow-and-saltea]

hi. ive been meaning to make memes for so long but i didnt have the time or energy to. now i do!

tagging my beloved tot posters 🧎🧎🧎🧎 thank you for talking about tot with me i love you guys sm!!!!!!!!!!!! i hope you win ALL your pities and your blorbo's cards come to you early!!! @00uroboros @paleasamoon

[mobtism]

SOUL FROM SOUL EATER? 👀

THANK U OMG‼️‼️ SOUL THE GUY<3

ask game

ID: A bingo board with the following squares highlighted in an orange-ish red:

- A drawing of a person lovingly looking at a small character in their palm

- I want their gender

- My Friend’s favorite, the blorbo by proxy

- That’s a solid design right there

- They are so silly

- If anything happens to them I will cry

- I fuck with this aesthetic so hard. End ID.

SOULS AESTHETIC IS SO COOL AND ALSO HES BADASS N EPIC <3 my beloved bestie / fake spouse and i are the epic maka & soul duo <3 (him being soul and me, maka). i love soul eater sm THANK U FOR THE ASK WOOHOO‼️‼️💛💛💛

[that-was-anticlimactic]

i started sk8! i'm two eps in and it's very nice so far. definitely more relaxed than what i usually prefer but it's still fun :] ngl that blue-haired dude is creepy as hell. i haven't watched far enough to find out for sure but it seems like he's manipulating miya which is. >:(( giving off nasty rich person vibes. reki is so <333 to me he's just!! a little guy!!! ngl a bit worried abt the fact that langa seems to be very good at skateboarding like absolutely good for him and all but if i was reki i think i'd be kinda jealous? it would be interesting if they addressed this later on in the show. loving joe's and cherry's dynamic so muchh! they're so funny to me. immense respect to joe for deciding to skateboard with his tits out. the only question i have is where are his nipples???? like sir??? i know its anime censourship or whatever but still. also if i may share my personal hcs for some of them: i hc reki as a trans bi guy. idk why but that just. feels right for him yk. i also love the idea of him having adhd and tourettes! you were so so right about that <333 one thing about langa is that he is definitely not straight. gay i think and aspec as well. also he is autistic bc i mean. have you seen him. he and reki are literally hyperfixating on skating together!! like that montage describes bonding about a shared hyperfixation so so accurately. joe def gives of bi vibes 100% but i'm not too sure about cherry. and also you were right i do love miya! i've seen him for 5 minutes tops and he has been mean for all of them but he is so <3333 to me!! OOPS I WROTE A LOT. AHEM ENJOYING SK8 A NORMAL AMOUNT.

YES YES YES ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

okay y eah blue haired dude is ad*m and i hate him i hate him i hate him he 100% is manipulating / grooming miya and i will STAB this man

oooooooooooh just you wait. just. you. w ait.

YES REKI BELOVED he is my blorbo my everything he is The character i am reki he is me he is he Is The Little Guy i would die for him i love reki btw if you didn't know

UYTFDGHUIJOUYGFU CRYING AT THE JOE NIPPLE COMMENT HELP-- I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE CACKLING

YES EXACTLY !!! @capt-snoozles actually drew some trans reki art and it is. it is SO GOOD. and yES TS REKI MY B E L O V E D!!! theo has also drawn AMAZING ts reki art that i just. i love so much. i literally showed everyone in my class once i cried i love him (reki and theo lol)

YES GAY ASPEC AUTISTIC LANGA !!! he is SO autistic coded there is literally a scene where reki and shadow (MY BELOVED I LOVE SHADOW SM) are talking and langa is literally just. sitting there and swaying back and forth with his eyes closed. i love him.

[poptartmochi]

ok I wanna say dmc for the glub shitto ask game bc I love the way you talk about it sm even tho idk anything of it

if u already got dmc or don't feel up to it I guess jojo is my alternative to u^^

ahh, Luna thank you! <3 😁 i'm on desktop rn so i cannaur send my beloved blue hug emoji, but know i would put it here if i could! also apologies for the late reply- i'm trying to rebuild my mom's desk! 😄 my rambling aside- ouuuuugh Thee dmc!!!! I shall try to give some context for the characters as I answer, hopefully it sheds some more light on them.. if not, thank you for reading my rambles despite not knowing them!! :') i appreciate it 🥺💙

P.S.: I just finished writing this and dear GOD it is LONG!! D: i started writing and then I blacked out, and when I came to i was looking at like 3.5 paragraphs of hate towards DmC Vergil 😨😨😨💧 the spirit of the infodump possessed me...... I put this all under a readmore- if you don't want to get hit with a genuine wall of text, please take care not to open it... i don't even want to think about how long it'd take to scroll through it on mobile 😳💀💀💀💀💀

prompt ( i prommy i won't go off the rails like i did w this one! 🙈)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

is it any question... Vergil, man of all time 😔🆘🆘 if you listen to bury the light on 24hr repeat for like 2 months straight, you contract vergil blorbo disease </3 but so! vergil! speedrun lore, vergil is the son of ✨ Sparda ✨, a demon who split the human and demon worlds in two after a Very Long Time of demons hunting humans for sport 😳;;. Vergil's also the twin brother of Dante, the series' leading protagonist! ^^ anyhow, at some point after the two were born, Sparda disappears and from what I can tell, they're just raised by their human mom, Eva? In any case, since the two have The Blood of Sparda™, the demons that slip through into the human world want them Dead. Thus, when they're like 8 or 9, the demons descend upon their house and light it aflame, killing Eva and presumably Dante in the process. Vergil's the only survivor, and girl............... we need not discuss the psychological impact of this 😳🆘 After this, Vergil adopts this ideology that power is the most important thing, and his pursuit of power sends him on a very tragic path. 😔 to make a long story short, he basically shows up in the 3rd game because he's trying to open the gate between the human + demon worlds, which he succeeds at in spite Dante's efforts to stop him. Immediately after getting to hell he gets curbstomped by the king of hell </3, stripped of his will, and turned into the guy's little demon minion for like a decade. :( He then shows up in the 1st game as a Mysterious Enemy that you fight a few times on your journey to stop the aforementioned king of hell, and it's only towards the very end that it's revealed the really cool very strong mysterious guy is in fact... YOUR BROTHER :( But what can ye do except curbstomp his ass, since he's still in the throes of the king of hell 😔 So curbstomp him you do, and he basically gets mario washing machine'd to god knows where, where he takes Continual Losses. at this point, he's come back into his own consciousness and psyche, and he's like 😐😡 but also he's dying 🥺 Despite this, he is haunted by the many losses he's been dealt at his brother's hand and resolves to do one final thing before he dies: Kill Dante ⚔ ...... unable to do this in his current dying form, he goes back to his childhood home and uses his fucked up demon sword to split himself into two- the human and the demon. The plot of the fifth game all stems from his human side realizing What the Fuck He's Done, not just right now but in general, and he's like ohhhh dear.. girlies we gotta fix this 😳;;

hmm what else about vergil... oh yes he has a book of William Blake's poetry that he got shortly before everything went to hell as a child, and he like.. carved?? drew?? his initial into it because, despite vergil being the Evil Twin in the games, dante was THEE evil twin when they were younger... dante the instigator the brawler the manipulator.. tbh i'm obsessed with it. Anyhow, despite all the madness and mania he goes through throughout his life, he's somehow kept that book the entire time and his human side is Always Cryptically Quoting It :')

so. yes that is blorbo,,, the parasite that haunts my brain so...

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

Nero!!!! :D nero is vergil's mystery son, and the protagonist of the fourth game! 😁😁 He grew up as an orphan on an isolated island called Fortuna, where they actually worship Sparda in a cult-like manner 😳 Before I go off the deep end, I just must quickly say.. nero literally is SO SHAPED. DMC4 came out in like 2008/9 and my sister and I are in agreement that if I'd played as Nero as a kid, i would be a trans guy today. it is uncontested.. his design is SO fucking gender

but so nero! In canon nobody knows where the fuck Nero came from, much less that he has any connection to Sparda. he was raised in an orphanage before being taken in by the super cool parents of Credo and Kyrie (who took him in because he has the ✨ Same Silver Hair as Sparda ✨😮 but.. it's fine @w@;;). At some point they die, and so then it's just Nero, Credo, and Kyrie- the three must be incredibly tight because Nero looks up to Credo and joined the Order of the Sword, which is Fortuna's like.. demon-hunting church military/police kind of organization?? you know how it goes 😀😀😀;; Anyhow, Nero joins them because of his deep respect for Credo. And then Kyrie.. they end up dating which cannaur lie makes me uncomfortable given their upbringing but we pretend we do not see it 😳

set-up aside! Nero's game is basically about how The Pope™ wants to lure out Dante in an attempt to absorb him into the core of like.. a marble Sparda-shaped evangelion basically 🙈 Nero is really just a henchman following Credo's orders until it is revealed that he too, somehow, has demonic power... then things begin to shift, and the pope and co. are basically luring Nero into the belly of the beast by kidnapping Kyrie, so on and so forth 🤪🥴 They succeed in this and Nero's unwillingly drawn in as the aformentioned Sparda eva's power source, so the game then switches to Dante POV and you have to take it down! It finishes out with Dante beating the shit out of it but not really being able to stop it, so then you have to take it, and the Pope, down from the inside as Nero......... it's a whole thing 🙈

anyhow.. nero is truly scrunkly man, like the above description to a T. DMC4 was very rushed and suffered many things, but they still managed to put a ton of work into Nero's animation and expressions. he does a lot of small things with his face in the cutscenes that are 🥺🌋🌋 That, combined with the fucking insane voice acting of Johnny Young Bosch, makes Nero a really 🥺🤲🏼 *holds him* character for me <3

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

literally banging on my chest like a gorilla because CREDO, MAN..... i say vergil is the man of all time, but credo is like.. the MAN of ALL TIME 🥺🥺🥺 In the overall scope of the franchise, Credo is a Minor character- he only shows up in one game, you only fight him once, etc etc. but dude holy fuck credo lives in my MIND.... let me explain his white man sauce...

so, as I loosely explained above, Credo is the older brother of Kyrie and their parents took in Nero when he was young before they died under mysterious circumstances. WELL... the circumstances are not so mysterious to credo.. I mentioned before that Credo was in the Order of the Sword- expanding on this, he was also in some type of high position at a young-ish age? Which means he was privy to the truth behind his parents' death, which is that they participated in a ritual to imbue them with the power of demons and fucking died :(

this is classified information, so Credo never gets to tell his little sister the truth of what happened to their parents. so not only is he dealing with this truth, but Also. without his parents, he has to raise Kyrie (and nero????) all on his own 🥺 he does a stellar job with this because Kyrie is basically widely regarded as a fucking saint- for me this would be impressive on its own, but! He also manages to be such a fucking chad that everyone is Fortuna loves him- this combined with his insane fighting skills nets him the position of supreme general of the order, which imo is the second-in-command after the pope

Knowing the plot of the fourth game, this is incredibly heeeeehee 😳😨😱 Credo enacts the pope's will because he believes in the false vision of the future that the pope's been spouting forever, yk how it is with cults... However, he throws all that aside when he learns the pope has gone behind his back and pulled Kyrie, who is his sister but Also a Civilian 😡, into everything... in the end, his defense of Kyrie costs him his fucking life and it's 🥺🥴🥺🥺🥺🥺😔😐🥺😭😭😭😭 why!!!! </3

oh my fucking god I forgot to mention that. while he's still under the pope's will he has the SICKEST boss fight as a demon (bc surprise he undergoes the same ritual that his parents did, and he survived!!! there isn't enough time or space in 4's narrative to dwell on this, but I Dwell On It 👁👁🥺)

so yes in conclusion... credo 🥴😍🥰🥰🥰❣❣❣

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

Lucia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 lucia my fucking beloved aouuuuuugh!!!!!!!! Luna I know I've rambled so much but you are about to HEAR IT.. i cannot think of lucia or i will go insane!

SO. Lucia. Lucia is the second protagonist of the ill-fated Devil May Cry 2. the original DMC was directed by Hideki Kamiya, mr. bayonetta himself, and I'm not sure if the next part happened because his + the team's work on the original DMC was super promising pre-release or because DMC was met with such acclaim after its release, BUT. development on the second game began incredibly quickly, some people say before the original even shipped. In any case, Kamiya had no idea it existed until the original DMC was being localized into English. this is the second game's point of inception, right?

Development was. challenged. like super super fucking challenged. Accordingly, despite months (?) of development, the only concrete thing the team had was the animation for one attack. Capcom was disappointed in this and removed the sequel's original director, who has never been named and in my opinion is in witness protection. 😀;;; Then, they brought Hideaki Itsuno on as the director and basically gave him 4-5 months to make a game out of nothing. I think this is incredibly fucked up and they should have delayed the game, but some people say that Capcom needed to use/cash in on an expiring contract with the brand Diesel and that's why there was no expanded dev time.

SO. i don’t know how, but Itsuno somehow makes the game. Given the circumstances, it is rough and nobody really likes it and it is widely regarded as the Genuine black sheep of the franchise- 4 was rushed and had some issues but that is all a speck of dust compared to how troubled 2 was. :( Outside of some side material, the contents of 2 have yet to see the light of day.

this is why Lucia is the obscure fave </3 It breaks my heart because Lucia is such a good character. In short, she's basically an artificial demon created alongside many others by this CEO kind of guy in his pursuit of power etc etc. Unlike the other artificial demons, she's defective (I think because she had her own sense of will?) and so, she's basically thrown out to the trash. She gets taken in by this elderly woman who's basically the last demon hunter on this one island, Vie de Marli. The woman raises Lucia to carry on the torch, and Lucia is a very very human character as a result of this. (although, i think in being raised like this, she's also brought up to disregard her own life in the service of her people? it's been a while since i played 2 so i don't really remember, but I'll come back to this in a moment)

Anyhow, the plot of 2 basically follows Dante, who was called to the island by the aforementioned old lady, on his quest to thwart the CEO’s attempts to open the gates of Hell through this ritual, or something like that... To do so, the CEO has to collect these artifacts, and while Dante is the main one working against this guy, Lucia is in the background trying to collect the artifacts before the CEO can so that he can't do the ritual. As she's doing this, the CEO guy confronts her and is like "ohhh it's you! :o you're no devil hunter lol you're a literal devil! i made you!! and it's only a matter of time until your programming faults and you begin killing the humans you've been trying so hard to protect hehe >:3c"

This like. really fucks up Lucia and she has a whole existential crisis shutdown about it while Dante is fighting the guy. I don’t remember it well, but I think the guy succeeds in opening that portal to Hell + unleashes a fucked up demon that Dante has to go after. In any case, Lucia stops him and is like "You'll be stuck there and the world needs you but I'm expendable so let me do it" or something like that, which... 🥺🥺 I'm describing it very loosely here bc I have terrible memory but frfr that was such a heartbreaking moment and Also the precise moment I was like ok. i will kill and die for lucia okokok <3

I forget what Dante says to her but it's some lifechanging shit and she's like oh!!! 😮 i have self-worth now!! So she steps aside and lets him go into the portal. While he's gone, this fucked up version of the CEO guy returns and is Berating Her Yet Again :( but this time, she's able to stand on her own to fight (and beat 😚) this guy proper.

Her character arc roughly ends there, which is. the worst because she has SO much potential. Lucia is someone who was raised as a human, raised to love her fellow humans. I feel like you could really do something with the revelation that she's Not a Human, and even moreso!! there's tension and suspense from the line where she was told that some day, she'll break and turn on her fellow man!! like what!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

but alas. That's basically the last we ever see of Lucia and I'm not sure how likely it is we'll ever see her again. :( She got a little section in the expository book for DMC5, but no mention in the actual game itself... if/when she does, know that i will be ripping my shirt off and banging my chest like a fucking gorilla!!!!!!! she's my girl!! 🥺🥺

ummm also very very quick honorable mention here for the Lady in Red, who is an NPC given a few seconds of screentime during the opening cutscene for Vergil's game mode in DMC4. She's just a random Fortunan with her face hidden beneath a hood, but she's the only one that notices Vergil walking through the crowd. It's implied and widely believed that she's Nero's mom, but she's never given importance beyond those few seconds in the cutscene so 🤪🤪🤪 Anyhow, the Lady in Red gets honorable mention here because the very existence of Nero drove me insane. I couldn't wrap my mind around Dante, part of Kiryu's swag virgin club, or Vergil, who imo is too laser-focused on power to have time for relations of any kind, having a kid. more than that, I couldn't imagine what kind of woman would be able to fall in step with them long enough to have a kid??? And then I spoiled myself on Who Nero's Father Is, and felt even more insane because your honor i truly cannot see vergil ever taking interest in someone In That Way. so the thought fermented in my mind, who WAS this woman??? what did she do to catch his attention??? and the more i thought about this, as a Joke, the more it began to seriously haunt me. Before I knew it, I'd gone and pulled a sergio again, making a whole ass character to bridge the gaps and expand on the spaces left in between the narrative 🤪😳;

anyhow. that's gioia. the lady in red gets to stay here despite gioia because i fucking lose it over any breadcrumbs we get about her. XD there first time I watched my sister play through DMC5, before I was familiar w the ins and outs of the franchise + didn't realize Nero was an orphan, there's a part where he phones home after learning Vergil's his dad + I was ready to pop bottles bc I thought he was calling his mom.................... naur... 🙈🙈🙈 in the same way as Lucia, I doubt we’ll see much, if anything, about Thee lady in red </3

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

So, you recall how during Vergil's section I mentioned he split himself in two, right? well, the human part of him is named V and holy shit holy fucking shit is this guy a poor little meow meow. holy shit. not in the evil sense, he is just Going Through It </3 The thing with Vergil splitting himself into two is that like,, all of his essence, his strength ig? went into his demonic side. V inherited Vergil's conscience and memory in the divorce, and that's It. V himself is kind of odd in that he's the human portion of vergil, but he's not.. human? per se? Not a concrete human anyways, so he's running off a very limited reserve of juice to keep himself going in the regular sense, but also in an existential sense. And the further the game goes on, the less he has to work with. 🥺🥺

V is also the meow meow of all time because he really is so fucking human oh my god. :') He reads Vergil's book of poetry and knows it so intimately that he can casually whip out lines to comment on the situations he finds himself in. Vergil's clothes go into the void of existence with him when he splits himself, so iirc V fr just walks around naked until he mugs a guy and takes his clothes- rings and belts and necklaces and fun strappy sandals included. He's hesitant to eat a burger because he doesn't want to deal with how messy it is, but then he just. eats a demon raw. (and then he eats it cooked on like skewers BUT. this is only AFTER he just fucking eats the raw meat. this haunts me to this DAY)

Also a huge portion of V's character that I forgot to mention is that he has demon familiars who're essentially formed from Vergil's memories of his coworkers when he was a puppet for the king of hell..... One of these familiars is named Griffon, and he's the only one that talks out loud. Griffon bullies V so much and V just takes it bc they're besties. :') it's meow meow behavior your honor. OH one final thing, when you’re fighting as him, he’ll call out commands for the familiars + one of his commands literally sounds identical to CGI Ganondorf saying “die”. it HAUNTS me 😭😭😭😭😭

another meow meow-type character for me is Kat from the DmC reboot! We Do Not Talk about the DmC reboot because it is godforsaken, goatforsaken, the list goes on. It's a badly-written insult to the franchise. HOWEVER, Kat is cool :') I won't explain everything that goes on w Kat bc then I'd have to explain the reboot and that's more effort than it's worth. </3 but Kat is worth explanation. 🥰 so!! she's essentially Vergil's right hand lass, and also his girlfriend?? maybe? but that's basically irrelevant. Anyhow, the two of them have been working together for god knows how long trying to overthrow the surveillance state the demons have mankind under. Kat is a medium, so she's able to exist in Limbo, which is the space between the human and demon worlds? or maybe where they overlap??? I dunno tbh 😳 but anyhow, Kat is able to traverse Limbo while her physical body gets left in the real world, and she uses this ability to be the smartest, most effective, most efficient person in the whole game. There is one point where she gets taken hostage and the king of hell is trying to use her to convince Vergil, who's an unknown variable in this universe, to bring him Dante, public enemy #1. While he’s beating the shit outta her and doing god knows what else (which is 🥺👿 because the game casually drops that she was assaulted, iirc sexually, as a child) to her, she slips into Limbo and basically scouts out the  place where she’s being held hostage. Then, she concocts this entire plan, iirc all by herself!, to topple the demon’s power. The reveal that she was doing all of this blew my fucking socks off- when you first see her in this portion of the game, it's in a video where she's super out of it and I was Very Concerned about what she was going through.. meanwhile miss thing is out here masterminding her captor’s downfall... legend behavior. So yeah! of the reboot's cast, Kat is my favorite character 😚 but the reboot is wildly unpopular and held in similar regard to DMC2, with the exception that it's set in a different universe and thus even Easier To Ignore than DMC2. so i think that makes her an unpopular fave and thus a good fit for the meow meow category ^^

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

so I would say Dante because dante is like. the most batshit normie guy ever. like... Confirmed the strongest guy in the whole series, has taken down every Ted, Jim, and Sue from the demon world that's tried to grab for power... but also. Dante lives off of pizza, his favorite drink is tomato juice, and he loves strawberry milkshakes. he never has money because his besties are always running him dry </3 for at least a little while, he gets bossed around by his own version of the Ace Attorney Weird Little Girl. in every single game he gets impaled with a sword, and when nobody did it in 5, he did it to himself. Dante is easily the most tormentable character in the entire franchise, but ALSO.. he is the Most Tormented :( so I don't know if I could torment him, he's been through enough!!! 😭

so if I can't torment dante, then Nero it is. >3 a bit of context here- every time I see a city you can kiiind of explore in a game, ie Val Royeaux in Dragon Age: Inquisition, I get a hardcore itch to explore + play in it the same way you play through Kamurocho/Sotenbori in Yakuza. WELL... girl lemme tell you this itch is so fucking strong for Fortuna man!!! it's such a pretty city and you really don't get to see a lot of it! :( so for a long time now I have been juggling a Yakuza-esque spinoff game for Nero where you have to do a bunch of sidequests for the people of Fortuna.. in my mind all of them are as headscratch-worthy and bewildering as Yakuza's sidequests. however, Nero is a lot more affectable than Kiryu is, so I think he would be tormented by them a lot more than Kiryu would be. 🥴 it is my dream to get into the dmc board room and pitch this game one day 😤😤😤😤

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

SO............. THE POPE, RIGHT >( I would say sanctus is the most bitchass character in the entire franchise, if only because he took Credo away from us 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 BUT. sanctus has a lot of pussy power. he poisoned the previous pope for two years straight so he could take his job and then he strung Literally Everyone along while he was planning world domination for two entire decades. he's the worst but I'm kind of obsessed with him </3

SO.

INSTEAD. : - )

my vote goes to DmC Vergil. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh i HATE DmC Vergil he is genuinely the fucking worst 🤬⚔ I think they started off with a good idea for his character, the son that got away, a mystery variable in a heavily-surveiled state. If I were in that position, with the bass boosted powers that Vergil gets from his parents (plural... his and Dante's mom is an angel in the reboot... girl 😐), I Too would build my own secret little organization to topple the demons in power. BUT. That's like the end of Vergil's good writing. Throughout the game, he's always in the back, always the one depending on Dante to do things for him. What was he doing before his group found Dante? They dangle the idea of him having sauce right before your very eyes, because they take a moment to establish that he still has his fuckt up crazy sword Yamato (which he pronounces as if it rhymes with tomato...) in this universe as well, which means he COULD be doing things. But no!! there's literally a mission where you have to come defend his ass while he's trying to back up servers or whatever. as if the original Vergil would ever need to be defended. There's another part in the game where you're trading Kat off for the king of hell's... lover? who is pregnant with his child? In any case, it is a very high stakes high tension moment in which neither party can really afford for things to go wrong....... so vergil decides to snipe the pregnant lady out! 😱🤯🤯 for literally No Reason!!!!!! and it endangers Kat and everything goes haywire and hsdhfjfjhgs...... the entire time I was like, you did this for what!! iirc correctly, he is Hardly Useful in the ending fight against the king of hell, whereas the original Vergil in a similar fight was instrumental to winning the battle.... like, girl!!! where is your sauce? what's going on!

it gets worse though... after Dante defeats the king of hell, there's a beat, right. the guy is dead, his surveillance state's been dismantled... damn, there's finally room to breathe! to hope! and then Vergil, who has made Dante do all the legwork, is like "Dante, the path is clear for us to rule over the humans now ^_^". When Dante is justifiably like what the fuck, they get into an argument about humans being fine/not fine on their own and Dante Correctly brings up that it would've been impossible for the two of them to achieve anything without Kat (who is in the bg watching this unfold like 👁_👁😨), and vergil essentially handwaves her!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬 this is the point where I went from begrudingly tolerating Vergil to really disliking his character 🙈 you fucked with the wrong kat stan !!!1! 😆

but then!! the worst part! as if what he'd already done wasn't enough! his boss fight begins, right. Vergil's boss fight. vergil. who has been useless and non-combative the whole game. HIS boss fight starts AND SOMEHOW??? HE HAS SAUCE?! INSANE SAUCE? that really cemented it for me. He'd had these abilities the whole time, you know! he never had a big coming of power moment, so he was just sitting on all these abilities The Whole Time! and it just bugged me- Vergil, in any instance, keeping a low profile is a rational thing. but the original vergil still took the time to have sauce and do batshit stuff like ricocheting the yamato off of walls and catching it at the last second, so on and so forth. With this newer Vergil, they nerf him only until he Has To be the final boss. I've rewritten this a few times and I still don't think I'm capturing what I'm really trying to say, but. god. I know they're two separate characters and you shouldn't compare them, but the reboot's Vergil just feels so incredibly disrespectful towards the original. and since vergil is The blorbo of dmc for me, this is a crime punishable by death /j

OH my god i forgot to mention. they gave him his own DLC where you get to play as him, right? they initially won me back over because they had him limping around and clutching where dante fucking stabbed him to death (i call it the garrett thief effect 🙈), BUT THEN.. the story of the DLC was just. so edgy and grrr Vergil fights his inner demons and he kills the ghosts of Kat, Dante, his mother, everyone who left him and haunts him grrrr... but it felt too disconnected from the Vergil we'd seen in the main game for it to be a cohesive addition imo.

dear god I cannot believe I went off about the reboot Vergil for this long,,,, I am so sorry </3 I tried to forget him but I guess he still  vexes me deeply 🙈🙈🙈 in conclusion, DmC Vergil has been sentenced to an eternity in superhell for crimes against DMC Vergil and also because he is kin with the Elon Musk who Also had a fedora and katana. grrr