#PLEASE ask me shit abt him I love to infodump abt him and his silly friends from the HRI plot

[something-in-your-walls]

ok I haven’t posted much recently but here’s a silly guy for you!!!

[qsmp-slime]

NO BUT GIVE THE DSMPSONA???? PLEASE /NF -🍎🧃🍎

EHEHEHEHE OKOK HI. HI HELLO. HII. anyone reading this who also has dsmpsonas pls talk to us we are dragging our partner and friends down with us we want to swap blorbo stories. ANYWAYS. our blorbo.

his name is in fact jared. this is thanks to @ahaclownnoises. we sent a drawing of jared in a server we share w tommy, and joked abt how we had spent days calling him skrunkly because we couldnt think of a name. (this is in fact entirely true. we could not think of a name, therefore he was skrunkly.) tommy suggested jared and actually we decided no i like that. it fits him. and also we are a collective simpbur kin and Some of that kinda rubbed off on jared and we thought it was silly. anyways let me actually show you what the man looks like--

heres a doodle of him we did a few nights ago. hes a creeper hybrid!!! he lives in las nevadas, hes probably ~21/22!!! he used to be a citizen of lmanberg but after it got Fucked he kinda. idk probably disappeared for a while and ended up back and living in a trailer in las nevadas because fuck it yk.

he's a magic conman in that he is into magicky witchy shit, and you can pay him to do these things for you, but, uh. he is also very likely to scam you, twist the wording, or just entirely not even do what you've asked of him. (he also probably sells weed, but shhh.)

he also has an absolute shitbox of a pickup truck and really shouldn't have a license at all with how he drives. (< him and the guy he obsesses over have in fact lost non-canon lives bc of how jared drives. it's fine don't worry about it they respawned.)

he also has a sibling!!! they belong to @flowerhubbys, they are younger than him (and taller - jared is around ~6'11, 7'0, while aoife's character is around 7'2) and they are one of eret's knights <3 (they have "lovely" family discussions about this for a while because jared, for a while, does not like eret at all due to, uh. l'manberg and everything.)

..oh, and related to this fact, did i mention that he also starts dating eret's sibling eventually? (their name is alastair, yes this was intentional, and they belong to @aphotic-society because we have a Deep Autism Need, whenever we make characters in a universe with our partner, for these characters to kiss.)

jared has so many bad habits and is arguably very much not the greatest person in the world, we are aware of this /silly. he is also, uh, a Little obsessive when it comes to being in love with someone!! (which is why i joked abt our ""simpbur kinnie"" rubbing off on him. aka "we hate the idea of ever actually being like that to That Extent now, HOWEVER we also have a fascination with the trope in media so we are being silly goofy exploring".) (also we cleared jared being liek that w mirk first since its' character is the focus of that. idk if that's relevant to anyone but yeah. consent matters in rps / silly fan things too guys /hj)

jared also dresses like a redneck that lives in a trailer park, which is fitting because excluding that he's not actually from the south, that's basically what he is. we love him so much he is so greasy and stinky please ask us about him we want to infodump SO bad.

[transxfiles]

I really need somebody to infodump on me, I'm dealing with a major terf, can you please infodump?

sure anon!

ok so today i'm gonna be talking abt the scooby-doo franchise, specifically the thirteen ghosts of scooby-doo which is a franchise that i grew up on, not because it was necessarily good or of my time, but rather because i have been obsessed with scooby-doo since i was born and still love it to this day and have consumed every piece of scooby media made up to this point (january 24, 2021) except for be cool, scooby-doo!, scoobynatural (the scooby-doo/supernatural crossover), scooby-doo and the loch ness monster, and scooby-doo and guess who? either because i have been unable to find/afford them or bc a streaming service is keeping them from me. 

so back to the main topic: the thirteen ghosts of scooby-doo. you may be wondering, what is this odd yet intriguing sounding piece of media? well, i’ll tell you.

[Image ID: A screencap from the 1985 cartoon The Thirteen Ghosts of Scooby-Doo, showing all six of the main characters, from upper left to right: Shaggy, wearing a red t-shirt, Flim-Flam, wearing a yellow tracksuit like getup and holding a crystal ball, Daphne, wearing her signature purple except her outfit consists of a long-sleeved purple shirt, a dark purple vest, and purple pants, Scooby-Doo, and Scrappy-Doo. All of the characters are leaning in towards Flim-Flam in the center of the photo, who is holding a crystal ball with the elderly Vincent Van Ghoul’s face on it, turned green by the light of the crystal ball. They appear to be standing in a cave underground somewhere, and they are all wearing yellow hard helmets with lights on them. End ID]

this is the shortest running scooby-doo series to date. it started running on september 7, 1985, and was taken off the air in march of the same year, after it received not only bad reviews from kids (most likely upset by bad animation, writing, and general storytelling) but also from parents, who feared the demonic presences portrayed in the show would cause their children to (i shit you not) become satanists, because that’s how parents thought in the 80s i guess. 

our story starts simply: with shaggy piloting a plane through the himalayas after scooby misreads a map. they were trying to go on vacation to the tropics, you see. shaggy, scooby, scrappy, and of course daphne. where are fred and velma, you ask? unimportant. there’s no time to think about that anyway - the plane crashes, stranding the group in a strange town in the snow-covered mountains. 

there’s not enough time to explain all the weird shit that happens in the series, so i’ll skip to the highlights reel of the first episode only: 

we meet flim-flam and oh boy... the racism. they stereotypes. dear god.

flim-flam promptly attempts to scam daphne and shaggy into buying a drink called (i shit you not) lots-a-luck joy juice, a miracle worker (according to flim flam)

the gang + flim flam visit a cave in the mountains that looks like a villain’s secret lair and is in fact the home to vincent van ghoul (voiced by the lovely vincent price) who is depicted as a not so subtle dr strange ripoff

some ghosts trick scooby-doo and shaggy into entering a gameshow that then allows them to win this prize called the chest of demons which is, you guessed it, a chest full of demons. scooby opens it. he releases thirteen of the most terrifying ghosts and demons onto the face of the earth. woohoo. 

they go to a bar(?) in town and there is a vampire performing there and everyone in the town turns into werewolves and we later learn that it’s bc the town’s cursed

daphne gets turned into a werewolf bc someone roofied her drink

scrappy promptly tells daphne to ‘cut it out’ and stop being a werewolf bc she’s being silly

daphne drinks lots-a-luck joy juice and she is no longer a werewolf. i'm tell u guys she is a werewolf for. less than ten seconds.

they escape and vincent van ghoul scolds them for causing problems on purpose and also tells them they now have to hunt down all of the thirteen ghosts they let loose onto the face of the earth and he gives them ghostbusters equipment. also a crystal ball so that they can contact him while they’re on their ghost hunt.

“but how will we fix our plane that broke down at the beginning of the show?” it’s never explained it’s just magically fixed. 

oh and guess what fuels it. 

lots-a-luck joy juice.

(oh and the gang basically adopts flim flam bc he doesn’t??? seem to have parents?? and he goes with them on their ghost hunt)

AND THAT’S JUST THE FIRST EPISODE

the best part of it all? they spend the series tracking down all the demons... but the series is cancelled before they trap the thirteenth ghost. fucked up, right?? do you know how many unresolved nightmares that shit left me with when i was six years old?? the good news, of course, is that someone out there in the warner-brothers scooby-doo writers room must love me, because in 2019 they made this: 

[Image ID: The movie poster for the movie “Scooby-Doo! And The Curse Of The Thirteenth Ghost” which shows Shaggy and Scooby in the foreground, running from a horned, winged demon that’s flying after them. Scooby is a brown Great Dane wearing a blue sweater, and Shaggy’s carrying him. Shaggy’s wearing his green t-shirt, brown pants, and a warm-looking red and green hat with a pom pom on it. They both look terrified. Behind them and the demon stand Vincent Van Ghoul, Velma Dinkley, Fred Jones, and Daphne Blake. Fred is holding the Chest of Demons, which is glowing green. Three ghostly shapes are rising out of it. Daphne appears to be looking up at the ceiling, shining a flashlight on it. End ID]

which is a film in which the whole gang comes together to hunt down that one last ghost. it’s incredibly good and also we learn that fred is a cheerleader. that’s canon babes.

hope this helps!