#[jots down more notes for that particular dynamic]

[rippedlovelines]

point to consider : neil’s capacity to annoy is bumped up by several levels when it comes to kevin and jean. he loves it, u see. irritating them is his greatest joy in life, second only to exy. he’s like a cat who delights in ruffling the feathers of delicate birds.

yes… i am considering it v much.

[pedgito]

MILLER'S GIRL ✎ SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter Three: Forbidden Fruit

Chapter Summary: Mr. Miller receives your assignment in it's full detailed exposé and despite his reaction, doesn't seem as pleased as you anticipated. It leads to a tense interaction that lands you in his office with more questions and confusion. [4k]

[student/teacher relationship, age gap, no outbreak, power dynamic]

Chapter Warnings: fem!reader, professor!joel miller (his teacher persona is v different from outside of the classroom, so if he seems slightly ooc....close your eyes), dom!joel, sub!reader, reader is a little obsessed with joel (and delusional), background tess x joel, inappropriate relationships/actions, masturbation (m), confrontations, joel manhandling reader (kinda roughly), panty ripping, one (1) forbidden kiss

— AO3 | PLAYLIST | PINTEREST

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec

Joel takes the plunge into the assignments the following night—it was a small class so he knew it wouldn’t take a large chunk of time, a couple hours at the end of his day and he’d have it out of the way and grades posted before the following morning. It was always easier to do things this way, hidden away in his office to force his focus and block out the rest of what was going on. 

He flies through the assignments with a detailed precision, giving proper and full notes on things he thinks the students could work on or tweak, give some personal thoughts on creativity, and allow some encouragement where it was needed.

But, your name sits in the bottom of his inbox, bold lettered and unread—he saved it for last.

He could lie and say he didn’t do it on purpose, but he’s come to thoroughly enjoy your writing, so he pushes it off until it’s the final thing he has to grade that night. He knows Tess should be arriving home soon, so despite his want to give you his full, undivided attention—he intends to give it a quick skim.

Joel knows there’s no real notes he can give you. You always had a clear idea on your work, so meticulously planned out that it reminded him of himself in a way.

He takes a sip of the quickly dissipating bourbon in the cup sitting on his desk, ice clinking against the glass as he clicks on your essay and watches it expand onto the screen.

He likes to jot down his thoughts on paper as he goes, making it easier to format and type as he replies—he grips the pencil tight, reading the title of your essay.

                      ill-suited innocence 

In a crowd she finds herself searching, looking for him. Days and days of tense glances and inappropriate thoughts—he must share them too? While she can’t be bothered by the fantasy of mythical creatures and things that only made sense in fiction, she did believe in the fantasy of wanting what she couldn’t have. Him.

Much older, wiser—grim around the eyes and a deep sorrow that burrowed its way into his chest and made home. He couldn’t fix himself, but she could. At least, she thinks she could.

Joel straightened his back, leaning into the screen to assure himself he wasn’t misreading. It was…an interesting take on the assignment he gave you, but he’ll bite. He’s used to your stuff being a little more unorthodox. 

Something along the lines of forbidden fantasy? A tale of love? It wasn’t his particular choice of fiction but he wasn’t opposed to it. He squints, reading more.

He drops the pencil for a moment

Their lives mundane and unassuming, they traverse through life with little enjoyment. Two sides of the same coin and he was too oblivious to realize. He offered smiles and kind words, guidance that seemed from a good place but only allowed her to feel more misdirection. He was an enigma, difficult to decipher and she craved him.

And though he tries to fight whatever attraction he may feel, she can see it in his tense gaze. The lingering touches he leaves on her body. Secret meetings, talks that allowed themselves to be more deep than should be allowed. He was allowing her in little by little but she needed more.

She just had to ask, so she did.

Joel feels a tightening deep in his gut that wasn’t there before, reading between the lines of text and allowing faint glimpses of memories with you to match themselves with the words—his brow furrowing under the guise of…anger? No, frustration. He shouldn’t be equating his perfectly…appropriate relationship with you to this. In fact, it shouldn’t cross his mind. But, it does.

All of this from a dream? He could lie and say he wasn't intrigued, but that wasn't the case.

Joel doesn’t expect the full 180 turn as he glances down at the chunk of text that follows.

“You’re my student,” He whispers to her, “I can’t allow this.”

She bites at her lip, noticing the subtle click of his heels as they hit the floor, back them against his desk as she takes a seat, plastic cup full of pencils falling to the floor but neither of their eyes leaving each other.

“You can,” She encourages, “I’m hardly a student anymore. I’m a friend. We’re friends, right?”

And given his ability to let her in so easily, he also considered her a friend. Naively. He’s gotten himself into this position and he can’t find a reason to not give her what she wants—what he wants.

He captures her lips in a searing kiss, much less polite than a friend would, her fingers quickly undoing his belt—

Joel feels his cock hardening under the confines of his slacks, clearing his throat slightly. He should stop reading—he knows he should. The glaringly obvious lines being crossed are blurred for a moment. He shouldn’t have led you on like this, allowed you to cook up some depraved illusion of what you thought things could be.

Because they couldn’t. That wasn’t what this was. Joel had told himself over and over—he was helping. He didn’t think you’d take advantage of the scenario like this. Still, he finds himself loosening the buckle of his belt as well, unzipping his pants enough that he can stuff his hand into the tight space between his bare cock and briefs, palming himself impatiently.

And he skims—words sticking and fading in his mind. It starts of with a slow, sensual make out and a messily described handjob that has his cocking throbbing with every tight stroke he pulls at his shaft, eventually tired of fighting the tight space he’s allowed with his slacks making it impossible to move, he leans back and pulls his cock out far enough that he has free, unrestrained range. The bourbon glass leaves a sweat ring on the oak of his desk but Joel can’t be bothered, he scrolls down further, taking in the last few scenes that allowed him a full idea of just what exactly you thought was going on between the both of you. Or, what you wanted to happen.

He allows himself a moment to slip out of his headspace and imagine, selfishly.

Bent over the desk, items scattered to the floor he pulled at her skirt, something she wore necessarily—easy access, she whispered against his lips before he bent her fully over the desk, chest pressed against the solid wood.

Joel imagines it vividly, his breath quickening as he tugs at his cock in rough, fast strokes and pictures it—you, bent over his desk and your ass presented to him like a prize and how good it would feel to squeeze the flesh between his hands. He knows your sounds would be sweet, divine, and it drives him wild. 

He’s thought about you before like this, hand wrapped around his cock, but never in full detail as you’d written out.

And then he slips his cock inside of her, a small gasp of, “Just like that, professor.” falling from her lips and it only spurs Joel deeper into his despair, tugging himself until he feels his orgasm creeping up on him, a churning in his gut that feels too good to quit and he reads out the last few lines, as he comes deep inside of, recklessly and without much decision making.

He thought you were smarter than this. Expected more out of you.

There’s a creak of a floorboard down the hall that sends his world crashing down on him, dampening his orgasm almost immediately as he scrambles to shove himself back inside of his slacks, buttoning and buckling his belt hastily as he clicks out of his browsers and feigns exhaustion, Tess’s fingers curling around the doorknob as she peeks her head in, watching as Joel’s fingers circled the glass of liquor.

God, he hates her.

Not you. Tess.

He figured his reasoning was valid, but truthfully—he just couldn’t stand her any longer. He's been battling the decision to go through with his divorce, but this seemed like as big a sign as ever. It's the unbridled rage he was tired of harboring around her, trying to act like things were fine.

Nothing was fine and his life was imploding.

He was lusting after a student and worse, he know you were after him—actively, clear in the boldness you showed through your assignment. 

He thinks back briefly on the video call that he shouldn’t have allowed, your question that seemed…vague but unassuming. Had you planned this the entire time?

Was he just that stupid to not see it?

“Coming to bed tonight?” Tess asks hesitantly.

Joel offers a clear and concise, “No.”

He wasn’t sure if he could even sleep, contemplating over how to handle this…situation.

He couldn’t allow it to stray further.

It would damage his career and ruin his life.

But truthfully, he felt like he’d already reached that point, so what did he have to lose?

-

You wake up on Monday with a deep pit in your chest, knowing that grades were posted that morning. You knew it was a risk, being so open with him—but he couldn’t fail you. You followed the parameters of the assignment and made sure to clear the few questions you had with him.

Part of you is expecting another email from his private account, wondering his thoughts beyond what he would address appropriately. But, the moment your eyes drag along the screen, still blurry from sleep, you feel your heart stop.

0/100. A complete failure.

No comment besides—Rewrite and resend immediately. No extension. Due by the end of the day.

Your jaw clenches in frustration.

Oh, you were not being ignored that easily.

You storm into his room later that day during your free hour for lunch, knowing he’d be saddled up at his desk eating his own lunch. 

You couldn’t even think about eating, full of anger and annoyance that kept you full and ready to strike. He can hear your footsteps before you approach and is wiping at his mouth with a napkin when you stop at his desk.

He holds a hand up, face steely and emotionless.

For a moment, you think he might break. Crack a smile and say it was an excuse to get you here.

Instead, he has your essay printed out and ready to shove at you, your fingers curling around the stack and crinkling the edges. 

“You can’t fail me,” You start tensely, “I did your stupid assignment and I followed the steps you asked for.”

“I expect a new one by the end of the day. Appropriate to the topic. End of discussion.”

You scoff, not daring to look at the glaring zero he drew out on the paper just to prove a point. It lands in the trash as you throw it down, “No.”

Joel’s chair squeaks as he rises and it startles you slightly, and suddenly he’s invading your space, the muscles in his neck tightening as he pointed an accusatory finger at the trashed papers.

“In what situation did you think any of that was appropriate to write and send to your professor?” Joel asks, noting the way you blink quickly, backing away slightly.

He almost…feels bad? No. He quickly wipes the thought away as more anger crosses your face, eyes dilating in rage.

You lean in slightly, thankful that the halls were quiet around this time of day and that you had closed the door behind you. 

“You started this,” You argue, “You crossed that line when you messaged me on a private email. Telling me that you liked the time we spent together. I’m your student—maybe you should’ve taken that into account first.”

His fist clenched at his side, almost to restrain himself, knowing he’d rather shove that finger into your chest and blame you. But, you were both to blame. And he even more so. Still, he doubles down.

“Rewrite it or I’ll fail you for the entire semester.”

Your mouth gapes open, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“That’s…completely unfair.” You settle, voice softer as you drop the act. “I just—”

“Rewrite it.” Joel responds firmly.

“Mr. Miller—” You begin, trying to find a feasible way to get him to listen.

“Or I fail you.” He says with finality. “You’re lucky I don’t take this to the board.”

Which, he never would. He’s just as much at fault. But, he’s taking his frustration out on you. An easy target, slim pickings. 

You weren’t playing into that though, not now.

“You won’t,” You challenge him, “because if you do—I can assure you, you won’t appreciate the results.”

It was a threat. Cold and plain.

“Rewrite it,” He reiterates again, his voice softer now. “I have to submit these assignments at the end of the semester and if—that cannot be in there. I need a real essay. Real. Not some fucking delusion.”

It’s the first time he’s talked so…out of term. It feels like him, the real Mr. Miller.

Fine—you’ll write the goddamn essay as he intended. You roll your eyes and Joel relaxes slightly, seeing your defeat as you settle your shoulders back.

“I want it on my desk by the end of day.”

Sure, you could manage that.

If anything, it gave you more of an excuse to drag out his torture a little longer.

-

You spend the entirety of his class working out a new essay, bullshitting your way through an hour of class and typing up something feasible enough to get you a decent grade, knowing that his views of you were already tainted. But, that didn’t matter. 

You had plans.

When evening rolls around and classes are finally done for the day, you make the long trek across campus to his class, finding it empty but spotting the light in his private office is still on, a low and muted orange that shined through the window. You approach slowly and knock on the door, hearing his muffled greeting on the other side.

You peek inside, noting his position as he rests with his fist pressed against the side of his face, seemingly nursing a headache as he rubs the fingers of his free hand over his forehead and sighs, closing his laptop as you hold out the small stack of papers for him to grab. He does, skimming through it briefly. You toss your bag off your shoulder and rest it in a nearby chair, standing quietly.

“Something bothering you?” You ask politely, hands crossed over your front as fiddled idly with your fingers, “Mr. Miller?”

He looks up tensely, eyes darkened and foreboding.

“What did you mean earlier?” He asks suddenly, reading your essay with a careful eye. Scribbling something down before he pushes it away, fingers clasped together under his chin as he gives you his full attention. “That I wouldn’t…appreciate the results?”

“Oh, that was—”

A threat. He knows it. You know it.

And he voices it.

“It was a threat, wasn’t it?” He asks coarsely, his voice sounding rough. 

He seemed worse for wear, with good reason.

The dignified squeak of his chair is like deja-vu but you don’t back away this time, turning to him as he rounds his desk—his tie is gone, starch pressed shirt unbuttoned to a dangerous degree and his belt is missing, your eyes tracking it in a nearby corner where it’s slung over an empty chair. 

He allowed you in here, the small glimpse of his relaxed state. He wasn’t shutting you out necessarily, which was good. But, you still felt unwanted. It was almost like he was dangling a myriad of fruit in front of you, ripe for the taking, but riddled with poison. Forbidden.

“No—”

He grabs your wrist suddenly, tight and gasp-inducing as he pulls it up until it’s level between you both, right at chest level and you’re waiting for him to let go, but he doesn’t.

“Tell. The. Truth.” He says pointedly, a small jerk of your arm with every syllable as he pulls you undoubtedly closer, “I want to hear it.”

Instead of admitting that you did openly threaten him, you switch gears.

“What? That I want you to fuck me?” You ask innocently, pulling your wrist away harshly. “Joel, come on—don’t act like you haven’t thought about it.”

His name is like a gut-punch, a reminder that he gave you that information under the idea that you would keep it safe, but now you were using it against him.

“Don’t—” He warns and your hands press into his crisp button-up, scrunching the fabric in an effort to wrinkle it, feeling the solid press of muscle under your hands that makes your mouth water, eyes widening slightly at the touch and for a split second, he allows it.

He had to escape the situation before he acted on something he would regret.

“Get out.” Joel responds through gritted teeth, shoving your hands away harshly and in turn, forcing you back a few steps with the urgency of it. “Now.”

Still, you step closer, chest against chest as you can feel the distinct bulge in his slacks against your front, tongue clicking in your mouth as you cocked your head to the side mockingly, a finger tracing along the buttons of his shirt until you can curl the tip of it around the hem of his pants.

“You can do it, you know,” You offer, “You could fuck me right now and I wouldn’t tell a soul, not even your wife—or…ex-wife? I’m not sure since you never wear your ring.”

Fuck this and her smart ass mouth, Joel thinks.

Joel’s nostrils flare and he snaps, backing you into the wall by his hand pressed against your chest, the bookshelf beside you shaking with the force. His hands creep up your neck, pressing rigid against the skin and he keeps you there, trapped.

“I can feel it,” You tease through strained vocal cords, his finger squeezing against your neck–not quite cutting off air flow, but the pressure is there and you feel it. It makes your head swim, squirming against his hold as he shifts closer, body pressed against your own firmly, “is that why you asked me to turn the paper in by the end of the day? You wanted me here, didn’t you? I guess my essay did strike a nerve after all.”

The laugh that follows is sickening, a grin appearing under his sneer. His fingers move up a few inches to grip your face. Hard. Squeezing until he feels the solid press of your cheekbones under his thumb and he speaks, so quietly into the space you can barely hear him, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Your eyes drift to his, his head tilting up slightly away from your ear that he had whispered into and there’s glint in your eye. It’s exactly what you wanted. You wanted to burrow yourself under his skin so he couldn't get rid of you.

He feels your fingers continue to trace along the seam of his shirt, tracing over the bumps of the material until you meet his slacks, pressing your palm flat over his cock, hardened under the material and straining–and he can’t help the way his breath intakes sharply, the full body restraint it takes to not rut into your hand. He knows he has the upper hand here, but with the small amount of effort it takes to break his revere for himself, he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up.

“I would,” You nod slowly, eyebrows furrowing as he tightens his grip with your admittance and in turn, you squeeze him just a little harder. He hisses and leans in, letting go of your face to return to your neck–he isn’t squeezing this time, but his hand is a solid presence. You move, he moves. And if he doesn’t like how you move, you would end up exactly where he wants you to, “Come on, Joel. You read all about it. I can do so much more than whatever your wife is doing—isn’t that why you reached out to me?”

“Don’t—stop saying my name.” He warns, trying to keep what little line of professionalism he had between you there, unblurred. “I reached out to help. As your mentor.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s a few things you could teach me.” You say sweetly, the deft sound of his zipper being undone by your hand, popping the button on his pants, “Joel, please.”

He stops your hand in it’s decent, fingers tracing along the hem of his underwear before he’s gripping your arm and turning you with little resistance on your end, front pressed harshly against the stucco wall, a sharp gasp emitting from your throat as he crowds you in again, whispering harshly into your ear, “Mr. Miller. Not Joel. You don’t get that privilege. And stop talking about my fucking wife.”

You moan brokenly at the feeling of his cock pressed against your ass, skirt riding up your thighs and you were sure—positive that Joel could see the fabric of your underwear clinging to your hips from how high up and mused your skirt was now, but he can’t take his eyes of your face, anger emitting from his own and suffocating you like a blanket.

You were pressing his buttons just right and he hated it.

“So, no marital troubles then?” You pester him and he shuts you up immediately, palm covering your mouth tightly as his free hand grips at the hem of your underwear at your hip and tugs—yep, he saw them. Some soft color, all lacy, meant to be attention-grabbing. And if Joel couldn’t have you the way he truly desires, he’d make you wish you could have it even worse than he wanted it. “You—huh, you can’t even wear your wedding ring, Mr. Miller—don’t lie to me.”

He pulls at the material of your panties until they’re riding up your ass slightly, pulled tighter against your cunt and the drag of the material against your clit is almost unexpected. He’s pointedly avoiding touching you so intimately, teetering on the edge of not enough and too much.

“You thought it would be that easy?” Joel asks testingly, jerking your head slightly when you don’t answer. You figured it was redundant but clearly not. You mumble against his hand, overwhelmed by his touch that all you can do is nod, forehead pressed against the wall as he breathes down your neck. “You’re mistaken.”

There’s a distinct rip of fabric as he removes his hand from your mouth quickly using his hands to grip your panties in tight fists, tearing it apart as it falls from your body and you think he might just do it—shove his slacks just far enough down his thighs and slip inside of you, bring an end to all of your suffering.

And his own.

Instead his fingers tighten around your forearm, spinning you in his hold and shoving the ripped fabric into your hand, leaving you bare under your skirt and exposed and Joel doesn’t mistake the wetness on the material. His fingers linger over your palm and you scoff, adjusting your skirt and slightly skewed shirt.

“Keep them,” You challenge, shoving the material into his chest before he allows them to drop to the floor, eyes trailing your departing figure as you reach for your discarded bag, “a gift for your wife—you know, the one who you avoided to spend time with me. Right?”

You want the words to linger and sting, bag slung lazily around your shoulder as you depart for the door, ignoring the quickly approaching footsteps. Joel, unbeknownst to you, had already pocketed your panties, torn to shreds in the pocket of his slacks. But, the words cut deep and he can’t leave things like this and allow you the final word.

Joel yanks the strap of your bag and backs you against the office door, the wood rattling against your conjoined weight as his lips press against yours in haste, messy and uncoordinated but your brain quickly assess what’s happening and joins, your lips parting to allow his eager tongue into your mouth. His kiss is biting and furious, mean and full of nothing but tense emotion. It’s months of suffocated lust pouring into you, out of him, and you swallow it down eagerly. His hand holds your chin forcefully, sloppy exchanges of spit and forceful bites, a battle for dominance that Joel quickly won out on.

And you think that maybe that comment was the final straw, that he might just give you what you want, but your delicate moan that slips into his mouth as chase him, his head pulling back slightly at the noise—it had him falling back to reality, right on his ass.

There wasn’t any line left to cross anymore. He’d obliterated it.

“Don’t threaten me again,” He warns, “ever.”

There’s one solid shove against the door as your head hits the surface gently, his touch quickly dissipating and his disheveled appearance a tell-tale sign in your mind. He was fighting his own battle and losing terribly.

“Of course,” You agree sardonically, “Mr. Miller.”

The silent click of the door is deafening and Joel retreats to his desk, punching a fist into the solid wood, the papers of your assignment flying to the floor. He can't be bothered to pick them up or even allow them the proper glance they deserve.

Because you—in his mind, don't deserve it.

And he's not going to give you that satisfaction.

It's unprofessional, but he'll allow it this once. It only takes a few quick clicks and he's adjusting the assignment out for your new one.

Poof. Gone. Like it never existed.

But, the grade is unchanging and he knows that will make things tremendously worse, but he can't be bothered to care anymore.

You'd be back and that's exactly what he wants.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  judasofsuburbia! @judasofsuburbia has 31 fics in the Stranger Things fandom and 24 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@cheatghost recommends the following works by @judasofsuburbia:

shake this world off my shoulders

the seventh heaven (when i kissed the teacher)

wanna be the only one for miles and miles (except for maybe you)

you make my life worthwhile (it's all about you)

get up and shake the glitter off your clothes

If you were to ask Emily what they think about their work, she'd probably say something along the lines of, "haha, it's just silly smut!" And even if that may very well be the case with some fics (and I'm so, so grateful for it), the one true constant in all of Emily's writing is the heart. They are truly an expert at weaving genuine emotion and care into their work, infusing every moment, every scene, every fic with so much passion. -- @cheatghost

Below the cut, @judasofsuburbia answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I’ve been a fan of Stranger Things since it came out in 2016 and of course, I fell in love with Steve’s character right away. But never in the show did I think they gave him a good love interest. His relationship with Nancy is obviously a catalyst for a lot of plot devices and it was important to the growth of both of their characters but it naturally had to end. Then…in walks Eddie Munson. I remember watching the forest scene for the first time and little alarm bells went off in my head. They have a great jumping off point of being the big brother figure of these dweeby teenagers, both being older and stuck in Hawkins, both being endearingly lame in their own unique ways but still having that opposites attract energy. Their dynamic was so fun to me, even in the limited scenes that we got, and I finally thought “Yeah. This guy. That’s Steve’s love interest.”

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I’ll read just about anything if it’s recommended to me or a beloved friend writes it but I have a particular soft spot for future fics. Getting to see these characters grow and heal from what happened to them while also being in love or falling in love really hits home for me.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I write a lot of AUs for this couple. It seems I love putting my boys into situations lmao BUT I think I adore writing love confessions the most. Like no matter what universe they’re in, they’re going to have this realization of love and it’s going to just pour out of them.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

My 252 bookmarks are shaking in their boots at this question so I’m going to shout out just a few! Bright Things series by @cheatghost, took you for a working boy by pukner, Catch Me (I’m Falling) by @fragilecapric0rnn, driving in your car by @kkpwnall, and carve your name into my chest by @hexiewrites.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I would love to explore a Monster AU. I’ve technically written Kas!Eddie but I’d love to explore something more like demon/creature/werewolf SOMETHING because I always find those stories so interesting.

What is your writing process like?

It usually starts with like one line or one idea that I hurriedly jot down in my notes app or in a new document. Then, I find songs that relate to that premise or scenes from other media that help inspire me. Usually, I plan it out bullet point style in a physical notebook and then start writing bit by bit!

Do you have any writing quirks?

Somehow making everything cultivate into something sexual lmao. It;s now a joke amongst me and my friends that I can always make something horny. But really, I love what can be discovered, what can be said, what can be revealed, and what can change a character throughout a sexual scene. Not every fic I write has smut in it but a vast majority do and it’s because I love getting to use smut as a tool for something else.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely once I’ve finished something. When I was first starting out, I posted chapters for long fics as soon as they were done and that led to me abandoning fics because I simply ran out of spoons to write them. Now, I’m much more conscious of what I’m putting out there and making sure it’s completed before I start posting. I might make personal schedules for myself but I very rarely stick to them lmao.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Definitely my zombie apocalypse series “the darkest hour is just before dawn”. Those fics came together in a matter of a few weeks and I just loved being able to dive into each of those couples (the spicy six) and figure out how they would react differently to their circumstance. It started with me picturing Eddie with a southern accent but only when he’s stressed, angry, or drunk. What’s more stressful than a zombie apocalypse?

How did you get the idea for get up and shake the glitter off your clothes?

The song “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry came up on shuffle and my brain said “Oh, there’s something here.” It started as just a blurb of Steve waking up extremely hungover, noticing Eddie’s in bed with him, and then seeing Eddie’s mood ring on his left ring finger in a hotel mirror. I posted that blurb just to Tumblr and my brain just kept thinking about it and now it’s a whole fic!

When writing you make my life worthwhile (it's all about you), what was something you didn’t expect?

That it is so, so hard to write breakup fics. Because you never want one of them to be “the bad guy” or to be toxic in a way that leads to heartbreak. I struggled with shaping the narrative in a way that you could understand the hurt from both sides but I’m really happy with how it turned out (them making up of course!!)

What inspired you make my life worthwhile (it's all about you)?

It was 100% my days being in the 5 Seconds of Summer fandom when I was a teenager. I remember having to defend that band to people, saying “It’s not a boy band! They all play instruments! They’re just a band!” but now I can see how their marketing was catered to teenage girls and how that led so many people to believing they were similar to One Direction. The first thing that came to mind was Eddie having to fight for his music to be taken seriously and that spawned this idea of him, Steve, Argyle, and Jonathan being in a similar band and Eddie wanting out.

What was your favorite part to write from wanna be the only one for miles and miles (except for maybe you)?

I’m a sucker for wound care so writing Steve sitting a grumpy Eddie down to tend to his wounds with kisses and jokes was a lot of fun!! I’m also a cowboy enthusiast so that AU was a hoot and a half for me all around.

How do/did you feel writing the seventh heaven (when i kissed the teacher)?

MUSHY. Mushy as all get out. I love, love, love writing Steddie with kids. I just think there is so much domesticity and softness to kid fics, especially if a character is a single parent. I was seriously a pile of mush writing that fic and making them all lovey dovey.

What was the most difficult part of writing shake this world off my shoulders?

Candidly, it was figuring out how they were supposed to be alone so they could have sex. They’re always traveling as one big group, sleeping in unconventional places, and taking turns being on watch. Finding a realistic setting and a realistic circumstance was very difficult!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

It’s hard to choose just one but I do think about this passage a lot from hey now, don’t dream it’s over: “Because even if Steve didn’t think he’d get this far. Even if he thought he wouldn’t see 21 let alone 30. Wouldn’t keep in touch and love with all his heart a gang of misfits from Hawkins. Wouldn’t fall in love with a wonderfully crazy man and adopt two beautiful girls with him. Wouldn’t be held when he cried or celebrated when he smiled. Wouldn’t wake up each morning and wipe sticky faces, talk high school seniors through college doubts and fears, wave his hand through the wind out his car window listening to pop radio in Chicago traffic, scoop mac and cheese onto Disney-themed plates, get kisses from his partner that make his kids groan, hear about their days, all their imaginations, their creativity, and everything they love and hate about the world, bath time every night, putting their hair in soapy mohawks, hearing their bright giggles, and tucking them into bed. Ending up in bed with the one person he loves more than anything just to wake up and do it all over again. He never, ever thought he would actually get this. But he did and he loves it. He doesn’t want to feel guilty for loving it anymore. He pulls away from Eddie’s neck and just beams at him. Eddie, who is more or less confused by the range of emotions he’s sporting, smiles right back at him. Steve kisses him deeply and feels Eddie wipe away his tears throughout their kiss. Steve Harrington is thirty years old and is enamored with the very thought of it.”

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Nothing huge in the works right now! Mostly just waiting for inspiration to strike again.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just that this fandom has changed my life in immeasurable ways. I am so happy that this community exists and the various types of showstopping art I get to engage with because of this show. I have made some of my very best friends in this fandom and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Thank you for all the love and laughter, thank you for nominating me (seriously that is so incredibly sweet), and thank you for loving these boys as much as I do.

Thank you to our author, @judasofsuburbia, and our nominator, @cheatghost! See more of judasofsuburbia's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[starlightbelle]

8, 17, & 30 for the fic writer ask!!

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one for...

Of the ones I've shared, probably Here's to Not Being in Love. Zoro/Nami's dynamic is so fun to write; I left it open-ended for a reason, because I imagine I'll probably write more for them at some point. I don't have a sequel in the works yet, but if a compelling enough plot bunny should surface in my brain, I'm sure it'll insist upon being written. 😆

Ahhh I nearly forgot!! I intend to write a continuation of A Crisis of Confidence! Isuka doesn't get much appreciation among One Piece fans but I like her and I want to explore her relationships with other members of the Revolutionary Army. I've already penned her interacting with Dragon, so I think next on the docket would be something opposite Sabo. Both pre- and post-Marineford. I expect the latter will be very angsty, and I can't wait to explore it.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

✨The stars align. An idea strikes, either seemingly out of the blue, while discussing characters with my friends, or after hearing a line in a movie/song that hits just right.

Generally I jot down as much as I possibly can (if I'm at work or something I'll loop the idea/scene/dialogue in my head until I have a free moment to type down as much as I remember), key points or words to jog my memory later. I do often have a line or two that I know exactly how I want written. There are no shortcuts or abbreviations of those, I have to write the line out entirely.

After that, once I have a block of time I can more fully devote to writing I fill in the blanks. Whatever flows, whatever works. I am kinda an edit-as-I-go type of writer, though normally at this stage just finding a synonym for a word that works better or fixing the phrasing of a sentence.

If a particular scene is giving me trouble, the draft will remain a cocktail of disconnected snippets (sometimes in the wrong order) until I have a breakthrough with the gaps.

Once the story is penned, I read through it. Usually this stems from a desire to have the manuscript look tidy and neat and complete in my notes app. Along the way I'll make little changes, fix any errors I find, rearrange paragraphs if needed, etc.

After that, I reread it an absurd amount of times. This is motivated by pure enjoyment. I am my target audience so I like reading what I write. 😊 It just so happens that that's how editing works, too. Win-win.

If I'm sending it to a friend, or preparing to share it, I'll give it another pass or two (or three). Normally I don't have much to correct at this point.

I also will reread it again after I've shared a piece to make sure the formatting works, everything flows, etc.

Yep. That about sums it up. 😅 It isn't really a conscious checklist I go thru, just kinda how it ends up working out.

30. share a fic you're especially proud of

I'm proud of all my works! 😁 But one I haven't seen get much love is my seventh Corazon Week piece. Although I believe one of those three kudos is yours already lol.

It doesn't have any relationship tags, which I suspect might be the reason it's not showing up on Cora fans' radar, because the pov character is left intentionally ambiguous. It was an artistic decision I knew might keep it out of search results, and I debated using multiple relationship tags instead to cover all bases but I worried that might come across as baiting so I left it without. I may change it though if I get feedback on that.

Thanks so much for asking! I know my answers tend to get a little rambly, so thanks for your interest! This one was a bit like a behind-the-scenes feature on a DVD! (Prompt list)

[palettepainter]

I'm going to try and start compiling some ideas for the next Zoot cousins doodle dump. I've already got a few in mind but if you guys have anything in particular you want to see, you're more then welcome to suggest ideas! Even if I don't use all the suggestions in one doodle dump, I will certainly keep the ideas jotted down for future reference because drawing the Zoot cousins is a lot of fun!

Here are some ideas I've had in my notes for a while I want to illustrate for a Zoot cousins doodle dump at some point:

-Zephyr interacting with the cast of Muppets Tonight. I genuinely love the vibe of Muppets Tonight, Johnny Fiama, Clifford and Seymour especially! I want to play around with Zephyr's dynamics with some of the characters when she was first hired onto the show

-Penny at work. Penny is the most work driven out of the cousins and runs a tight schedule, she can be a bit intimidating at times when it comes to her work but she means well (related but Penny interacting with Deadly and Gloria Estefan, Deadly and herself like to meet up and gossip)

-Younger Zephyr and Floyd shenanigans and younger Teeth with the twins shenanigans

-Something with younger Liv and Zoot, and then something with older Zoot and Liv. I was thinking something like younger Zoot carrying Liv, and then a drawing of Liv carrying Zoot (who probably conked out during the morning meeting at work)

[thevikingwoman]

I wanted to do one of these this year, as I've been really pleased with what I've written this year, especially in the back half.

For November and December I tried writing or working on my writing (outlining, editing) every day, and I was able to do so almost every day. I think it unclogged something, and I'll try to keep going with this in 2024.

This year I tried out a new fandom, FFXIV, it's been an interesting experience. I love what I've written and where it's taking me. I've had fun developing Meryta and getting to know her, it has taken a bit for her to let herself get known to me, and it's still a process! I'm enjoying having something new to dig into. I've also written a few shorts for Wayfarer IF, and my MCs do live rent free in my head - but for now they're mostly biding their time.

I'm looking forward to writing in 2024!

Overview

Fandoms: 2

Fics Published: 10

WIPs (actively working on): 3

WIPs/ideas (back burner): 5

I haven't tracked my words all year, so I can't properly tell. I've split up my in-progress fics as I tend to get ideas and jot down the gist or even write a little and then abandon. Some of them will never see the light, but some of them have more than 2000 words in them and I do want to finish them up.

For me, it's a constant balance of following the new idea or buckle down and finish something. I will work on this, I have things I want out in the world.

Fic List

Reprieve - FFXIV | E | Meryta x Emmanellain | 4206 words

I started this fic as a sweet kiss, and decided later to add the whole encounter and the morning after to the fic in November. I'm glad I did and it's been so fun exploring the sweetness between Meryta and Emmanellain.

Distance - FFXIV | M | Beatin x Gairhard, Meryta & Beatin | 1542 words

I have such a fondness for the DoH quests, and the ARR carpenter ones in particular. This is one of the favorite things I wrote this year, and one of the first.

Wayfarer short trio - View (G), Alone (G), Flirt (T) | 1474 words total

I wrote three short fics for @wayfarer-week, one for each of my MCs. They are all pre-game, and I'm very happy that I got these done, and the moments I choose.

Wrong - FFXIV | G | Meryta & Urianger | 691 words

I wanted to explore how Meryta felt about Urianger after the HW patches, and how this could lead to a beginning friendship

Under Familiar Stars - FFXIV | E | Meryta x Tansui | 2085 words

I so enjoyed Tansui when he showed in MSQ, and by mid Stormblood I had the idea of Meryta having a fling, so I wrote this. I really love how SB was both a homecoming and turning point in her maturity and confidence, and this fic does explore some of this - along with the smut ;). I'm really happy how this turned out.

The Perils of Ishgard Publishing | FFXIV | G | Meryta & Emmanellain | 428 words

A fun note on (fake) wol romance novel became this, and I really love how I was able to write off the cuff - and get to explore Meryta and Emmanellain's friendship after their fling.

Stress Relief | FFXIV | T | Calantha x Hien | 527 words

This was a gift for @galadae, and I'm so happy I got to write Cala and Hien. I love their relationship, and I'm so happy I got to write this, and that my writing has unwound itself enough to write a small gift fic.

Passing Through | FFXIV | E | Meryta x Tansui | 4518 words

By the time November rolled around I'd went off cliff on Meryta and Tansui's relationship, and this fic is my favorite of the year. I'm having so much fun exploring their dynamic, and writing some pretty fun smut. This one made me happy.

End notes

this was the year of FFXIV writing, and it does feel different writing for this fandom than other's I've engaged with. I don't know if I can or will set words on it, but I do look forward to exploring more ffxiv writing and reading next year.

The past two months have been so fun to me, and I've been pouring more words out than the entire year. For next year, my goal is to feel more free, to keep writing what sparks interest, and especially not worry of fitting everything perfectly into a fixed timeline. Not worry about living up to other's or my own expectations or bar for "making this thought a fic", not worry about pairings or topics, and just have fun.

happy writing to us all in 2024!

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 34 Thoughts

Chapter 34 for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

As was the case for the last chapter, in the other two translations it is made much more clear which one is Silver Horn and which one is Gold Horn.

The demons in this Arc in particular are some of the most casual and sympathetic ones yet, with the Great Kings having their sibling dynamic and being very lenient with their little fiends even when they make a mistake. Also they are actually quite reasonable in their consideration of just returning Tang Sanzang and the others.

Plus they are nice to their mother and their mother is also rather kind. Though oddly enough she is somewhat harsh with the girls that tried to tag along as her attendants. That might just be another small men writing women detail.

It is very clever writing for Silver Horn to know the spells that come with the yellow-gold rope and using that to turn the tide of battle in his favour precisely when Sun Wukong was trying to turn the tide in his favour with the rope himself. It is not out of left-field either, it makes a lot of sense, so very nice!

The chapter overall was very fluent to read, as in I only took notes afterwards when I usually jot down anything that comes to mind right away when reading.

[nice-to-meet-you-im-a-crytid]

How To Be a Magical Girl (Introduction)

This is an introduction to my original story as the title states. This will not be a comprehensive lore dump just a ramble of what the story is like and the many (many inspirations behind it

Disclaimers: This is a story in EXTREMELY EARLY production, This is mostly for fun and for me as a writer to both build a fanbase around my work and get used to jotting down ideas.

Inspirations: I'm staring with my inspirations for the story since they heavily explain where I was heading for pretty much the rest of the story.

First really big one is the anime Madoka Magica, so there's a lot of cutesy-ness mixed with body horror and some darker themes too in my writing. This also effects my art style quite a bit if you've seen any of my work on my tumblr page. Of course there's the magical girl aspect and an obvious school setting. Speaking of school settings my other inspiration would have to be My Hero Academia. I'm mostly referring to the slice of life/school aspects and the earlier class focused episodes. I think the world building in My Hero is really cool and I think it shows quite a bit in my own world. Also the technical aspects of becoming a hero in the earlier episodes have given me a good idea of how I'd like my own story's made up profession to work on it's own technical scale.

Setting/Plot:

How To Be a Magical Girl is a novel in the works centered around the coming of age stories of a large cast of girls (15-16 yr olds) who go to a magical school and as the title states learn how to be a magical girl both as a job and as people. One really big theme is light academia which includes love of learning, friendship, and overall loving life. Another is also perspective as many of the mini stories are written is different POVs and hopefully if I can get a book or two into the world each one would also be in a different POV. This does lead to a large cast of characters all of which have different backgrounds, cultures, and unique dynamics with each other along with different places in each others stories. This is also one big coming of age story which is very dear to me as I, myself am coming of age as a young author, so this story is a huge reflection on my own experiences. The biggest most prevalent theme besides light academia is trauma and more importantly healing! The main monsters that these magical girls fight in fact come from trauma and each of the girls have their own troubles to work through along the course of the story. The literal setting of the book is of course the school: St. Amia's International School for girls! Pretty much think Hogwarts but made of quartz. Legit though lots inspiration came from European design and architecture (Scottish castles, French Chateaus, etc.) in alignment with the book's theme. Here is link to the Pinterest mood board Worldbuilding: Obviously there is magic in this world. It takes place a couple hundred years into the future, magic is very well integrated into the modern world, i.e it's used as an energy source, magical creatures are common place across the world, it's even a normal and often required course in schools. Magic itself is a learned skill that all people can have the ability to advance in and excel at. My best analogy for it is it's like sports, if you run everyday you gradually get better and you could even make it a profession with enough training. And also like sports there are certain skills and abilities that are better for each one, flexibility and strength are both good for all sports but would be best used and trained in particular ones. This also translates over to types of magic and skills. (These are not the best comprehensive notes of my story's world so I might make an in depth post for the whole thing, tell me in the comments if this gets enough attraction!)

If this post somehow reaches you and maybe you even like it give it a reblog so others can have the chance to find it too in mess of an algorithm. And maybe even leave a comment if you'd like to see more from me!

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

[thelordofgifs]

Fanfiction writing ask: 4, 25 46?

(fanfiction writing ask)

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

Just inspiration really, tbh! I have six currently-active WIPs (and one that’s been put on the back burner for now) so deciding which of those to work on on any given day is just a matter of which I hate least at the time. When it comes to starting a new fic, I have SO MANY ideas jotted down that I’m really excited about, so I am constantly restraining myself from not starting another WIP! Sometimes I use them to bribe myself: “finish this one and then you can start that really exciting one I promise”. But sometimes I fall to temptation and the list gets longer.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

It’s got to be the actual writing. Researching and outlining can be very fun, especially when I get excited about a particular idea (the tfs page in my notes app has so many random caps locks and exclamation marks), but they also just feel like whetting my appetite for the actual thing. Which is often horrible and painful and the worst, but when it goes well and you’ve produced a lovely profound sentence or a very moving interesting scene or whatever it’s the best feeling in the entire world! a controversial take, but I like editing, too! It’s definitely a lot easier than writing a first draft, but it also requires me to be more ruthless with myself.

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

What are the types of AU? My own categorisation is into “setting change” AUs like modern AUs etc and “canon divergence” AUs – is that the usual mode of division? Anyway, it would have to be the canon divergence AUs. I think setting change AUs are fun and very creative and I’d love to try my hand at one someday, but especially in the silm fandom the canon divergence ones are SO MUCH FUN and make you think SO HARD. I have three going at the moment: tfs of course, in which Beren and Lúthien steal two Silmarils, the Maedhros doesn’t swear the oath AU, and the Maedhros dies in the Nirnaeth AU, and they all have to be so strongly in conversation with canon and examine character dynamics so carefully, I love it.

Thanks for the ask! These questions are great, do keep them coming :)

[krello-png]

Need to jot down more notes on my little take on Caulifla and Kale, I'd like to add to what's already there in a loose sense without it feeling too outside DB's scope y'know?

Pretty tricky to pull off ngl!

Might wanna latch onto to the apparent fact that Cabba already met Caulifla before the events of the ToP for character dynamic stuff, just unsure how best to handle it.

Definitely want to give a little extra meat to C&K's relationship and in particular, why the hell Kale respects Caulifla to such insane degrees! Could easily just be a simple infatuation and nothing more but I can't help but wanna give it a little extra y'know?

[cryptorial]

An Ultimate Guide To Blockchain Wallets

A  Blockchain Wallet Is A Digital Wallet that allows users to store and manage their Bitcoin, Ether, and other cryptocurrencies. Blockchain Wallet can also refer to the wallet service provided by Blockchain, a software company Peter Smith and Nicolas Cary founded. A blockchain wallet allows transfers in cryptocurrencies and the ability to convert them back into a user’s local currency.

As mentioned in our blockchain entrepreneur’s guide, the simplest answer to what a blockchain wallet is is one of the three pillars of the blockchain industry, which contains the private and public keys of all the bitcoins you own. They are not physical wallets and do not store real coins or currency. It is a software program that contains your unique digital currency address. They not only store your cryptocurrencies but also execute them through blockchain transactions. This allows you to interact with the various blockchains in the system and maintain your bitcoin balance. It is like a PayTM wallet, except it has no physical currency. If you want to buy or spend bitcoins, you need a bitcoin or a multi-currency wallet.

Now that cryptocurrency wallets have been talks, let us move on to the next part of this guide, which lets us look at their work.

How Do Blockchain Wallets Work?

Users can request a certain number of bitcoins or other crypto assets from another party. The system will generate a unique address that will send to the third party or converted into a quick response or QR code. QR codes are like barcodes in that they store financial information and can be read by digital devices.

A unique address is generated each time a user makes a request. Users can also send crypto assets if someone gives them a unique address.

The sending and receiving process is like sending or receiving funds through PayPal but using cryptocurrency. PayPal is an online payment processor that acts as an intermediary between customers and their banks and credit cards, facilitating online money transfers through financial institutions. Users can also exchange bitcoins for other crypto assets and vice versa, known as swapping. This approach is an easy way to kill crypto without leaving the safety of the blockchain wallet.

Users are presented with a quote showing how much they will get based on the current exchange rate, which changes based on how long it takes the user to complete the transaction. Swaps take several hours to add transactions to each currency blockchain. However, the user must contact customer service if it takes more than six hours. The Blockchain wallet only allows six crypto assets to be exchanged: Bitcoin, Ethereum, Bitcoin Cash, Stellar Lumens, Tether, USD Digital, and Wrapped-DGLD.

Why Consider Cryptocurrency Wallet?

There are valid reasons why established brands launch crypto wallet apps. Reasons for the different ways blockchain wallet solves traditional payment problems are as follows:

Cryptocurrency wallets never run out of space.

These digital wallets let you hold and operate with multiple currencies organizationally.

They have a nifty balance checker that tells you instantly how much balance is available.

These wallets even have a notes accessory where you can jot down any special remarks about a particular transaction or Bitcoin to help you recall later.

Blockchain Wallet Fees

However, it is important to note that the Blockchain Wallet uses a process called dynamic fees, which means the fees charged per transaction can vary based on various factors. The size of the transaction and network conditions at the time of the transaction can significantly affect the fee amount. Only so many transactions can process in a single block by sophisticated computers called miners. Miners usually process transactions with the highest fees first, as they are financially profitable.

Blockchain wallets offer priority fees which can result in transactions being processed within an hour. There’s also a cheaper regular fee, but it is likely the transaction will take over an hour. Fees can also be adjusted by the customer. However, if the customer sets a fee that is too low, the transfer or transaction may be delayed or rejected.

Blockchain Wallet Security

Wallet security is an important consideration for users, as a compromised account may result in users losing control of their assets. Blockchain Wallet has several levels of security to protect user funds from any attacker, including the company itself.

Different Types of Cryptocurrency Wallets

Crypto wallets have three categories – software, hardware, and paper. Software wallets can be for desktop computers or mobile phones. A proper software crypto wallet is a software application or program that can download via a web browser. Hardware wallets can purchase at computer hardware stores. Paper wallets can print or written on a piece of paper. They contain your wallet’s public key in QR form. This code can print on paper, plastic, or other durable materials and make a seal for safe storage.

Here is a full breakdown of all Types Of Cryptocurrency Wallets –

Desktop Wallets – These software programs can download to a laptop or PC. These wallets work even when not connected to the net.

Mobile Wallets – Since handheld mobile devices are so popular, there are compatible mobile wallets. In addition to their obvious portability, they are compatible with QR codes, facilitating instant digital payments.

Cold wallets/ Hot wallets – All wallets can be divided into two categories – cold wallets and hot wallets. Cold wallets are “offline” and very secure. This can use for large bitcoin holdings. They are usually not hackable and can use offline. Hot wallets are “online” and can use with network access. They are less secure than cold wallets, but useful if you must make frequent transactions.

Online Web Wallets – Third parties maintain online wallets on the cloud. They require internet connectivity to work. Since the private keys of these wallets are accessible via the cloud, online web wallets are the least secure choice.

Paper Wallets – Paper wallets store the private key and public address in QR form. This information can print out and sealed for greater safety.

Hardware Wallets – Resemble a tinier version of flash drives. They are safe and easy to use. Unlike paper wallets, cold storage devices are great for transferring private keys and can withstand hazards.

Bitcoin Wallets – It used by the pioneers of the blockchain system. They have access to all transactions in the blockchain ecosystem. Some people believe these wallets are from Satoshi Nakamoto, the man who developed Bitcoins and its parent blockchain technology.

Reference: Cryptorial: An Ultimate Guide To Blockchain Wallets

[the-printed-words]

How Do I Plan? Tag

Thank you, @elizaellwrites for the tag! Much appreciated.

How do you plot your writing?

Step 1: Beginning with the Characters

No matter how hard I try to start with a plot idea, the characters usually come first (though, this was not the case for my second novel – the plot came first, but I digress). I could be working or simply reading a story and the inspiration for my characters for my own novel(s) run through my mind. Inspiration may also strike when listening to a song, looking at art, in thinking back to my own past experiences – certain traits about them stand out to me, and automatically, I begin to construct a character based on even the simplest of details. If I can’t get it down on paper immediately, I try to make a mental note of the strongest elements that stand out to me about that character. Then I begin to develop them from there.

Step 2: Research for the Fictional World

Once I’ve created the characters, I tend to rush straight into developing the fictional world. I jot down my ideas (those that I call “cold ideas;" they're without research, only based on my initial thoughts) and determine what could work and not work for my world, for my characters. Research follows swiftly after. I go into a “research frenzy” for months at time (depending on how big my fictional world is and what I decide to put my characters through) before even putting a pen to paper. For my current fantasy series, I spent about 2-3 years researching before I began my first draft. I file all my research and return to it when needed. Even the simplest details are filed away. Once I’ve gotten a general idea of how I want my fictional world to look, I begin to look at the plot.

Step 3: Development (mixing plot, world-building, and characters together)

This is where I begin to mix plot, world-building, and my characters. Always, I ask “What if…?” about a particular theme/issue that I want to address within my plot, and I go from there when working on the plot. I ask the same question of my characters, when fitting the plot around them. If something in the plot doesn’t fit with how I perceive the characters, then I make changes (either to the character or to the plot itself). I also consider how the world I’ve created will affect the plot. I only spend a few weeks to a few months here at a time, creating a rough map of how I want things to go.

Step 4: Outlining

I’ve always hated outlining, but I find that it’s extremely useful, even if writing a short story. I tend to outline in detail, as I like to get all my thoughts out on paper about how a character arc will progress, how the plot will progress, how each affects others in the story. Then I go back and tweak it as I see fit. Of course, outlining doesn’t mean I’m not open to surprises; I am. They generally come, of course, in the writing process itself.

Step 5: Writing

After going back over my notes for weeks to months, I then sit down to write. Surprises, as stated earlier, can happen here. Rewrites happen in increments – if I’m not satisfied with a current chapter in my novel (even if I’m in the first draft phase), I go back and I rewrite it again. The refining and editing process can take a while, so I’ve learned to be patient with myself and remind myself that not everything is going to be perfect on the first – or even second and third – attempt.

What is your favorite part of the writing process?

I have two favorite parts – Constructing my characters/my world, and the writing process itself. With constructing characters, I love seeing how each come together and compliment (or not) one another. I love determining their dynamics, their personalities, their quirks, histories, relationships…you name it. I love making them feel more human, more relatable to my audience. I love seeing how they grow and how they progress over the course of the novel(s), how they mature and change.

In the writing process, I can finally see how everything comes together. I can see where there are plot holes (if I didn’t see them earlier), I can finally see, in written form, how each character interacts with one another or with their environment. I adore seeing if the world I’ve created takes precedence or takes more of a background role (in my books, I’m finding it does more of the latter, but is still…present). I love seeing when the draft (even if it’s the first) is done, and I’m holding a physical copy of it in my hands. Just knowing that a draft is complete is so rewarding.

[sevensided]

how did you get into writing fic? i'd love to start but idk even where to begin! I loved adats so I was wondering do you have any advice?

Oh my goodness! I am so flattered you’ve asked me this. Yes, I can absolutely help. I’ll throw a bunch of rambling under the cut.

I started writing fic probably when I was... sixteen years old? A lot of my early works were oneshots. I couldn’t figure out how to do anything plot heavy for the life of me, so I just stuck to AUs or whatever I felt like. I wasn’t in any particular fandom -- I really wrote whatever I had ideas for. I remember I tried once to do a plot-heavy story and I received a review absolutely ripping it to shreds. Like, it was so cruel I cried lol. I ended up deleting the fic. Years later, I get what they were trying to say (basically, more substance, less style), but at the time it cut to the quick. Really, it was only when I was in my twenties that I started writing work that was longer and/or better.

The fandom that helped me actually write plot heavy work was a historical-based fandom. As I’m a historian, it was perfect. I got to use my research skills and knowledge to create works that, above all, aimed to feel authentic. I mainly read historical fiction, so I was familiar with how that genre worked. Miraculously, people loved my work. I think I wrote about ~200k in the period of a year? These were several short stories (20-40k) and a few oneshot filler fics. While I was part of this fandom I also helped organise a Big Bang which was a lot of hard work but was extremely rewarding. Along with that, I interacted mainly with other fic writers, so I spent a lot of time chatting to people about ideas and encouraging other writers, and it just created a lovely medley where no concept was impossible or any line of dialogue too difficult. We supported each other and it was truly like a little commune. I gradually stepped away from the fandom mainly because it was just a part of my life at a very specific time, and almost as soon as that time was over, my love for that story/ship faded, but I firmly believe I figured out a lot of how/what I do now purely through that experience.

Regarding ADATS

With ADATS, it stemmed entirely from wanting to “explain” three months in canon (at the end of season three). I was interested in the idea of season four setting up Will/Mike in canon, and I wanted to test the source material to see if I could draw from what already existed to create something authentic. I began with that simple idea: what happened from July to October in 1985? Then I thought about the major themes I wanted to hit -- family, friendship, coming of age, sexuality -- and I nested them around the bigger concept: how do I get Mike from being ostensibly straight to realising he is gay? That meant thinking of two steps: Mike discovering his attraction to guys; Mike discovering his attraction to Will. Those two concepts were separate “arcs” that needed addressing in different ways. Balance was key to weaving them together and making the reader feel like they knew what was coming (and that they felt smart for putting the pieces together) without just rushing through and going “now kiss!” That’s partly why ADATS needs a sequel, lol: because it’s not finished!

Writing process

The first thing I do when I start to get an idea is I write it down. Sounds obvious. But when you have a killer line of dialogue come to you in the shower and you think “I’ll remember that” -- reader, you will not remember it. You gotta get it down ASAP! I do that the whole way through, as generally I’ll be thinking of scenes I’m stuck on and then it’ll just come to me and I’ll quickly jot it down.

The next thing -- or what I do in the meantime -- is start structuring. I plan. I try to plan a lot. Sometimes it’s okay to write “and something happens here to get them here”, because you’ll figure it out later, but for the most part I’ve discovered that planning is like gold and you can’t get enough of it. I break my work up into generally 3-4 parts/sections, and I treat each section like a mini story. So each part needs a conflict and resolution, and it needs to flow into the next section. You need to have a feeling of things evolving and maturing. Once I’ve planned those little bits, I start thinking about the bigger plot arc and how I can drop in hints along the way. I’m probably not a subtle or skilled enough writer to yet pull off that sort of gasping twist you get in really excellent books, but I’m trying to get there. It’s hard, is what I’m trying to say, but that’s okay, because we’re all learning.

Then I generally do aesthetic stuff. Sounds stupid, probably. But nothing helps me get more into a mood than doing a Pinterest board or -- most of all -- making a Spotify mix. I start thinking about the vibe and the general atmosphere, and then I almost exclusively listen to that mix when I’m working. Sort of like muscle memory? Just to get the creative juices associated with that particular selection of songs.

Another thing I’ll do along with plot structure is character structure. This is a biggie. I mean, a story is nothing without characters. So I’ll just jot down a bunch of bullet points of characters and particular aspects that I want to highlight or remember. I hate continuity errors in fiction. Like, if someone says they work on Maple Street but later in the fic they’re working on Pine Street. I hate that. So I keep note of specific things that my main character might notice at repeated points in the story (colours, places, smells, names, sounds -- so they’re all consistent even as the narrative evolves). That’s another thing -- your characters’ motivations. Not everyone is going to be a huge player, but they all do serve a purpose. The most important character is obviously your main character. I personally think it’s important to let your M.C. be an arse at times. They’re going to be mean, they’re going to misinterpret things or fly off the handle... just let ‘em. Let them be wretched humans, and then bring them back and make them realise what they’ve done. Let them learn! I love consequences in fiction, lol.

At the same time, I’ll probably start writing. We’ve already written down some snippets of neat dialogue or descriptions, but now we should start the actual process. For me, I used to start at the beginning. Usually this was the most fleshed out anyway: I’ll have a clear idea of the beginning and the end, but nothing in the middle. These days, if I have a scene in mind that I can’t forget, I’ll just write it. It will possibly get scrapped or rewritten, but that’s okay, because at least you’ve got it down and now you can devote your brain power to something useful (like figuring out what the middle is supposed to be). I’ll have half a dozen of totally out of context scenes just littered in my Word document that I’ll add to as I go along. Eventually, though, you’re going to start writing properly, and that’s when you write your opening scene.

Opening scenes: super important. Every time I write a scene I think: what is the point of this? What do I want the reader to learn or takeaway? Sometimes you do have filler scenes, but they also serve a different purpose (perhaps to establish a group dynamic or to explore/describe a character’s surroundings). Mainly, though, every scene should push something forward in some way, whether it’s character development or a plot point. So, with an opening scene, I always think you have to establish: where you are; who you are; what they are doing; where they’ve come from (in a philosophical and practical sense); and where they’re going (ditto). That doesn’t have to happen in the first paragraph -- that would be silly. But if you sprinkle that information in over time it’ll gradually build up a picture of your character and that way the reader can get an idea of who they are. You basically need to give a snapshot of what your story is about. This also goes back to the character creator stuff: where they are at the start should be different to where they end up. How that happens is, of course, because of plot, and because you’ve structured everything to the nth degree, we’ve got a very clear progression of that character’s growth (/s easier said than done lol).

General advice

Write down everything: every idea, a bit of dialogue, a description, whatever. Write it down. Doesn’t have to be neat. Just has to be on paper. You can’t remember everything, so if you’re spending time trying to hold those things in your head, it’s taking up space for new ideas to come along.

Structure, plan, structure, plan. Sometimes it’s boring and I hate it. Other times, when I’ve not written in a few days and I open the Word doc and think wtf is this supposed to be, I am very grateful for Past Me for leaving such detailed notes. Seriously, it helps so much. Oneshots don’t really need planning, in my experience. You just get those out there. But multi-chaptered stories really do, even ones that “just” focus on a relationship.

Whatever you want to write, commit to it. Space goblins invade Hawkins? Do it. Eleven and Max find themselves in a cult akin to Midsommar (2019) and must escape? Yes. Just... whatever you want to do, remember that you’re writing it for you. Write what most interests you, what makes you when you reread it go AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!! Because that makes it a thousand times easier to actually get on with the writing when you enjoy what you’re doing.

Write a lot. Every day, if you can, or at least at designated times. Occasionally I have a very specific headspace/vibe I have to be in, but sometimes it just hits me and I’ll say to my partner “I need to write now” and just disappear, lol. The more you write the more you write. It’s so, so, so true. Cannot emphasise this enough. When I wrote that ~200k in twelve months? It was because I literally wrote every. day. Or near enough. Remember that some days you’ll write 200 words, and other days you’ll write 20k (this happened to me with ADATS -- part of the reason I finished it so quickly was because I had sprints of writing 10k+ at a time that only happened because I was in the rhythm of it). Write, write, write. Who cares if it’s crap! No one will see it until you are ready. In the meantime, just write!

Probably last of all (although I could go on and on) is connect with other writers. If you’re struggling to start, sometimes just talking about it can help a huge amount. I hope it goes without saying that you can message me whenever you want, anon or not, and I will talk to you. We can talk about ideas or I can beta stuff, whatever you want! Find like-minded people and talk to them about what you want to do. Another thing this helps is in advertising your work when you do publish. I see a lot of first time fic writers get super down because they publish their magnum opus on AO3 but no one comments. Honestly, it’s because no one knows you’ve published! You don’t have to be tooting your own horn every which way, but just actively talking about your work and even collaborating with other content creators with get you hyped and other people too (and the input and encouragement other fandom members give is just... out of this world. Anon messages helped me finish ADATS when I was really worried I wouldn’t [that’s the truth]. Seriously, support is everything). When you have people excited about your work, you get excited. It’s really as simple as that.

I could go on but this is already horrendously long. I hope even a bit of this helps! If you want to chat or have any more questions, just hit me up any time.

[liangxinn]

love and drifting

d.s. al fine started: march 8 completed: july 14 ao3 link

Thoughts on the fic and the writing process below!

When I set out to write my first Pacific Rim AU, I wasn't exactly sure where I was going with it. What started off as a bunch of hastily jotted down bits of angsty dialogue would shape itself into dal segno, possibly my favourite work to date. Tender drift partners MW have carved themselves a special place in my heart, and I honestly wasn't surprised when I found myself back in the PacRim feels not too long after dal segno was finished and posted. Somehow, I wanted to tell more of their story (and perhaps more honestly, I just wanted an excuse to write MW being all cute and romantic).

So I wrote random scenes on and off for a few months like an epilogue-montage of sorts, and then it eventually began to form something cohesive. I settled on MW post-retirement, working in J-Tech in Nagasaki and navigating their relationship - now without the Drift. It was a point I'd wanted to address in dal segno ("Do I truly love you or is this some by-product of drifting together for so long?") but it ultimately didn't make the cut.

As you can probably tell by now, drift partners is one of my all-time favourite relationship dynamics in fic. There is something so insanely wonderful and terrifying about knowing someone and being known so intimately. To me, Mingyu and Wonwoo lend themselves particularly well to this dynamic. Something in particular that haunts me is Mingyu's 200406 birthday VLive and the infamous "How did you know I was going to sleep?" / "Your voice sounds just like your sleepy voice."

And isn’t knowing and understanding even the smallest things about someone such a wonderful way to love them? I intentionally avoided having MW say "I love you" outright to each other because I wanted to explore how else I could express it. In a way, "I know" began to feel like it could stand in place of "I love you" for them.

On that note, I just think that building a giant robot for someone is the greatest declaration of love ever. It’s only a tiny part in the whole fic, but I adore the idea of J-Techie Mingyu being so enamoured with Wonwoo that he wants nothing more than to build the best jaeger in the world to protect him. Real romance! Despite this, you don’t get to see MW in their giant robot all that much because I totally suck at writing action. Even now, I’m still not satisfied with the pace and overall quality of the later half of d.s. al fine, but I stuck with it. Otherwise, I probably would’ve fussed over it for eternity while it languished in the wip graveyard...

My initial plan had MW actually being forced to fight again and the impacts of that on their relationship. This included Mingyu being worried that they were no longer drift compatible, and possible communication issues caused by relying too heavily on the Drift. And then I remembered - the whole point of this fic was MW without the Drift. This was replaced with Mingyu briefly struggling with his guilt over not wanting to fight, which mirrors his feelings about retiring in dal segno. I think that segued better into the ending, anyway. I don’t think I’m skilled enough to handle the tonal shift of “deathly terrified while fighting a massive kaiju” to “sweet lovemaking” ^^; 

Rounding things off with my song rec, Restless by BIBI! I listened to it while working on dal segno as well, and it became the official theme song for my PacRim MW, in a way. The overall feel of the song is just lovely, and I had it on repeat for every scene where MW are alone and being especially tender. I mean, just look at the lyrics:

Tonight, know my everything Show me what's in your heart, whisper to me So that only I will know Tonight, hold my everything Engrave it into your eyes, kiss me I want to be a shining star, only in your eyes

Need I say anything more?

If you got through all of that, thanks for reading! I hope you got a little more insight into the fic and my love for drift partners MW ♡

[theburialofstrawberries]

hi! do you have any essential drarry fic recs? i've never gotten into it before but am all the sudden interested

hello yes I do! :-)

these are essential AUTHORS who hit my specific spot re: the character insight and the dynamic, which is big buff low-EQ repressed hermit (harry) meets slinking calculating low-self esteem hedonist (draco). also I just don’t get fics that prolong angst without indulging in humour so these are all funny    

olden & golden

all of lettered, especially the pure and simple truth, the boy who only lived twice (the ORIGINAL secret identity fic), away childish things (11 year old harry and draco are kind of heartbreaking) 

all of astolat, especially reparatio and house proud. it’s astolat i mean there’s not much to say

azoth by zeitgeistic was my official ‘favourite’ for the longest time. potential gravity is also chef’s kiss

drarry 2020 renaissance. I don’t know if its heresy but I’d actually start HERE instead of with the older classics, and specifically with GallaPlacidia

pretty much all of GallaPlacidia. start with adventures of a suicidal gentleman or the bucket list, and once you trust their narration you can start on the two kidfics (i know kidfics aren’t everyone’s scene but these are just exemplary). my favourite is lessons in grace and decorum, i was literally jotting down notes on life & living during that one.

aideomai, specifically nice things, sweet and plotless, they smoke weed in that one. my favourite is in the hand which is WILD, harrys and dracos from different timelines converge and get a good look at each other. pure fun, and breaks down fanfiction to the basics which is really an experiment in like, what would happen in this world if i turned a dial on this one variable slightly? and then dwelling which is what christopher nolan should’ve filmed instead of tenet

tepre writes flouncy 18th cent. outwardly jolly inwardly burning draco REALLY well, us in lieu is great and all the earnest young men was a trip. and then these three authors collab’ed on the bolthole recently, which i followed with the eagerness of a beverly hills divorcee following a celeb sex scandal. (IF you liked tepre’s drarry and the general repressed pride and prejudice vibes, amid this warm and steady sweetness by warmfoothills is the next step) 

misc. olden & golden 

here’s the pencil make it work, which is like the classic draco has a gang of protective muggle friends fic (i feel emily would never let me live it down if I didn’t rec this one)

domestic, the classic harry takes draco into his flat in what is supposed to be temporary situation 

both of waspabi’s are great, stately homes of wiltshire in particular

also more broadly here are my drarry bookmarks on ao3 which i think i basically vomited in post form above (and also bruna’s bookmarks for posterity she is my taste compass) 

TLDR these are a lot of links SORRY. start with GallaPlacidia!! feel free to follow up with questions/reactions if any

[shyvioletcat]

Can you write a part 3 for the rowaelin couple retreat please💖💖💖

It is finally here... I’m not even going to add up how long it took.

Couple’s Retreat Masterlist

~~~~~

“It’s a couple’s retreat, of course there’s only one bed,” Rowan said as he nudged Aelin into the room.

Aelin stumbled forward a little and Rowan closed the door behind him.

“I know, I know. What I mean is there’s only one sleeping surface.” Because there was no way Rowan could comfortably curl up on that couch to sleep.

That made him stop and take a good look around the room. “Oh. Now I get you. Floor and couch cushions it is then, I guess.”

Whatever weird energy they had because of the activity seemed to have seemed to have dissipated, at least on Aelin’s part. Rowan just went to his bag near the end of the bed and pulled a few items out to hang them up. Aelin decided to do the same and pulled out a few dresses and blouses. Rowan just slid over the majority of the coat hangers on the simple hanging rack so Aelin could reach them from where she stood next to him. 

Rowan was done in a few moments, hanging up just a shirt and pants, then he flopped on the bed grabbing the welcome packet as he did. It was silent while Aelin hung up her clothes and Rowan read. 

Then Rowan let out a choking sound. “Uh, Aelin. Do you know where we’re supposed to be in 15 minutes?”

Aelin hung up the last dress and climbed onto the bed to red over Rowan’s shoulder. He pointed to what he was talking about.

Intention setting and Relationship Dynamics

Aelin gave him a dismissing shrug.

Rowan just raised his eyebrows then read it aloud. “You’ll be meeting with a retreat guide to help you set out on your journey in connection. The goal of this is to evaluate the strength and weaknesses of your relationship and guide you to strengthen those connections over the weekend.”

“Relax Rowan,” Aelin said, hopping off the bed and going to her bag, “We know each other well enough to pull it off. This will help”

Aelin pulled out a see-through water bottle that contained a clear liquid.

“Is that vodka? I thought you said this was an alcohol free retreat?” Rowan asked, but he was smiling. 

“Classic high school trick. It just looks like water,” Aelin replied as she grabbed a couple of glasses.

She handed Rowan a glass and then poured the liquid in.

“Cheers,” Aelin said. “Let’s make some lies.”

~~~~~

Fifteen minutes later Rowan and Aelin were back in the main building sitting outside a room. Rowan felt like he was sitting outside the principal's office. He’d drunk enough that he was feeling a little looser, but still apprehensive of what was going to happen next.

The door opened and a couple walked out, the woman was in tears almost to the point of near hysteria. Aelin sent him a look that said what the hell? And Rowan was sure his expression mirrored hers. 

“Aelin, Rowan. Would you like to come in?”

“Maybe not?” Aelin said with a bit of a nervous laugh as she stood.

Natasha didn’t respond, just held the door open.

Rowan suppressed his groan as he followed Aelin into the room. The room was slightly too warm with candles strewn throughout, soft music played to no doubt make the room more inviting. It didn’t, it just grated on Rowan’s nerves. Aelin sat on the couch and Rowan sat beside her, leaving some space between them. Natasha sat across from them, still smiling as she placed a clipboard of her lap.

“So, this will be a short session where we work out why you’re here and what you want to get out of this retreat. I’ll ask you a few questions and we’ll go from there.”

Rowan felt his stomach drop, they had discussed some things like how they met how they ended up together, but Rowan was definitely tipsy enough that he could potentially forget some of the finer details. 

“Let’s start with the easy stuff, how did you two meet?” 

“At work,” Rowan said, a truth.

“I couldn’t stand him at first,” Aelin added. Another truth.

Natasha nodded, jotting something down on her paper. “How did you get together?”

Aelin let out a tinkling laugh, it was a little unfair of how easily she could play the part. “Classic Christmas party hook-up.” Truth and a lie from Aelin. She’d had a Christmas party hook-up but it wasn’t with him. Rowan felt his jaw clench as Natasha noted that down as well. What did the way they ended up together matter so much she needed a note on it? Then he realised that as a couple’s retreat that was probably a more important fact.

“What is it that made you fall in love?” 

Both he and Aelin looked at each other, panicking just a little. Now it was time to well and truly begin the show. Rowan reached out and took Aelin’s hand where it rested in between them. 

“She has a kind heart that I didn’t see at first,” Rowan said, not lying. 

Aelin gave him a little smile that had his heart fluttering. “He became my best friend and I realised I didn’t want to be without him.” That wasn’t completely a lie either, they were best friends.

This time Natasha only nodded but didn’t write anything down. “Do you feel as though you are meeting each other’s emotional needs?”

“Yes,” they both said almost together, very eager to move onto the next question.

Rowan chose this moment to get a drink of water, to help keep himself steady, but he wished he hadn’t when Natasha asked the next question.

“What about your sex lives? Are you meeting each other’s physical needs?”

Rowan choked, he didn’t mean to, he knew these kinds of questions were coming but it had taken him by surprise. He wished his water was some of Aelin’s snuck in vodka.

Aelin rubbed his back soothingly. “Oh, sweetie are you okay?” Rowan could hear the teasing in her voice. “No need to be embarrassed. Everyone has sex.”

“Mm you’d be surprised,” Natasha added, and Aelin managed to hold in her snort of laughter if only just barely. 

“Well,” Aelin said, and Rowan braced himself for the answer. “Active if you need a one word description. Very active, if you need two. But if we’re talking about needs…” Aelin turned to him then, something wicked glinting in her eyes as she turned back to Natasha. “I just wished he returned the favour every once in a while, if you know what I mean.”

Rowan tried not to gape as Aelin looked at him while trying so desperately not to laugh, giving his lap a very pointed look, leaving no doubt about what exactly the favour was that she was referring to. He wanted to call her out on her outright lie when he heard the pen scratching on the paper and his frustration sky rocketed. That most definitely did not need to go in the notes.

“Do you both see children in your future together, if there aren’t already some in existence?” Natasha 

“We haven’t really talked about it,” Rowan said, finally recovering and trying to steer the conversation away from what he was, or more like what he was not doing in the bedroom apparently.

“Now is an excellent opportunity,” Natasha prodded.

“I guess so?” Rowan said as he looked at Aelin who was looking at him. “I mean, I’ve always wanted children.”

Aelin nodded, and smiled. “Lots of babies.”

For a second Rowan couldn’t help but imagine what their babies might look like, would they have her hair and his eyes? Maybe they would get her stunning eyes and his hair. Or maybe features from their parents would make an appearance. How many exactly was lots...

“What are the relationships with the extended families like?” Natasha asked, pulling Rowan from his musings.

“His parents love me, I don’t see how they wouldn’t honestly. I’m the best thing to ever happen to him,” Aelin rattled off without a second thought. And it was true, Rowan’s parents did love her. His mother had been dropping hints left, right and centre about how good he and Aelin would be together for far too long.

But Aelin’s parents on the other hand, or in particular just her dad. “Aelin’s father doesn’t like me.”

“What!” Aelin said a little too loudly. “That's not true. Of course he likes you.”

“I don’t think he does,” Rowan said. “He barely says a word to me any time we’re in the same room.”

Aelin didn’t say anything, she was no doubt trying to remember what it had been like when he had been in the same room as her parents. Her mouth tightened. “I’m not going to agree but I can see where you’re coming from. He’s just not a particularly friendly man.”

Lie. Rhoe Galathynius was one of the most charismatic and friendly people Rowan had ever met. Just not to him.

“I think we should just move on,” Rowan said.

“We’re almost done,” Natasha assured them. “These are some of the heavier questions. What’s one thing you think makes our relationship unique from everyone else’s?”

Aelin’s brow furrowed, Rowan could tell it wasn’t from thinking about the answer to the question. It was more along the lines of what kind of stupid ass question is that?

Rowan jumped in before Aelin could say something along those lines. “I want to say it’s the connection we have. We helped each other out of some really dark places and I don't think you easily break a connection like that. It’s something we forged together, and we both came out better people in the end.”

Aelin looked at him, her head tilted to the side as she took in what he had said. It had all been the truth and looking at Aelin, Rowan saw that she knew it too.

“No one understands me like he does,” Aelin said and she took his hand this time. “No one is accepting of all of me as Rowan is, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being grateful for that.”

Truth. Rowan physically felt the truth of that in his chest. Aelin brushed her thumb across his knuckles, just a small comforting gesture in understanding that they had both shared something vulnerable and real.

Natasha let them have that moment before she asked the next question. “What’s one thing you feel our relationship is lacking?”

“Honesty.” The word was out of Rowan’s mouth before he realised he'd said it. That wasn’t a lie, he wanted to be honest with Aelin. He wanted to be honest with his true feelings about her. And them sharing that raw moment just minutes ago just added more fuel to that fire. Aelin seemed to notice the change as well, her face falling as she nodded and turned away from him, her hand leaving his. 

“That is where we’ll end this. This here,” Natasha said as she handed Aelin a piece of paper, “It is a guide to helping you set intentions for your time here to help you figure out what you really want to take away from this retreat. This will just be between the two of you so I hope you choose not to ignore it and fill it out. All the best and I’m sure I will see you around.”

Both he and Aellin mumbled a thanks and left, Rowan suddenly felt completely sober and left wondering if coming on this retreat was such a good idea after all.

~~~~~

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