#[it's been IMPOSSIBLE to get online ugh why are jobs]

[grimowled]

[duckit7]

Online Dating Can Be Hard 17

Yo. Life and stuff like that. But duck it, here is another chapter! The other is in the oven so hopefully that will be out real quick! I hope you guys enjoy!

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It was impossible to ignore my doorbell that had been constantly going off for the past minute. A deep groan escaped my lips as I walked to the door. I knew exactly who was outside. Low and behold, as the door opened up, there stood Sal in all his charming glory.

“I thought you were going to leave me out there all day!” He exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes hard. “So dramatic. Would you like an Oscar for your performance…”

“Finally, someone has recognized me for my talents.” Sal proclaimed.

I just shook my head and asked, “Why are you here Sal.”

Sal clicked his tongue. “Bitch you know why I am here. You don’t write. You don’t call. We assumed your ass was dead.” He said as he sauntered in before waiting expectantly for me to give him a lift up to the counter.

“I’ve been busy…” I said setting him gently on the counter.

“Oh no. No you did not just lie to me. I may have been born in the morning but I wasn’t born this morning Katy Kate. Now spill. You look like shit and haven’t talked to anyone in days. What happened with you and Cam.” Sal said while driving daggers into me with his eyes.

I let out a big sigh. It was useless as always to lie to Sal. “Cam thinks that I was trying to hook him up with Sara and now he no longer wants to talk with me.”

“Great spark notes version but I am here for the whole book Kate.” Sal said bluntly.

I groaned, “Ugh… Sal you were there. I invited Sara over because I thought it would be nice. She ended up being crazy for Cam and basically spent the whole night trying to get him to sleep with her. What’s funny is that I was stupid jealous of her and was doing my best to try to keep it together all night. Cam, though, mistook my silence as support for him and Sara. So now Cam is pissed because he thinks I pushed her on him and basically wanted the two of them to get together. Wild because that is the furthest thing from the truth and that I actually hate the idea of them together. To be honest I feel horrible about the whole thing because I basically ruined things with Cam and its all just a tragic joke. Satisfied?”

Sal started bursting out laughing. I narrowed my eyes at him and asked, “What is so funny. Do you just enjoy my pain?”

Sal wiped the tears from his eyes as he tried to settle himself. “Kate, you were horrible at hiding your jealously. She would lace her arm in Cam’s or lean against him and you were basically staring daggers into her.”

I looked at Sal appalled. “No I was not. I thought I kept my cool quite well actually.”

Sal just shook his head. “Yeah, if wearing a stare void of all emotion and having a resemblance of a serial killer was keeping your cool then you did a great job.”

My face scrunched up in confusion. I thought for sure I hid my emotions well. Then again this was Sal we were talking about. The man could read anyone with ease. I slumped in my chair in defeat. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. Cam doesn’t want to even see me so oh well I guess...”

Closing the distance between us, Sal laid his tiny hand upon mine. “Oh Kate… He will come around. He always does. He was just hurt is all.”

Tears started to cascade down my face. For someone who didn’t cry much it seemed to be a reoccurring thing. “I don’t know Sal. I think I really screwed things up this time. Last time we talked I know he felt trapped in my presence. That’s the last thing I wanted to do was make him feel trapped…”

“You love him don’t you… That’s why you are really struggling with this isn’t it…” Sal’s words may have been just a whisper, but they hit like a truck. I could only reply with a nod. Sal nodded back before giving my hand another pat. “It will be ok Kate. I know it doesn’t feel like that right now though. You know I am always here for you and I will be bugging you everyday.” I nodded again in reply. “Well good.” Sal said, motioning for me to bring him to the door. “Now if you excuse me I have another matter to attend to.”

I brought Sal to the door and set him down almost exactly where I picked him up. “Thanks Sal… You always know when to come over.”

Sal just bowed and said, “As any good gentleman does when he knows his friend is in need. Now don’t be a stranger. Hang out with us this week or at least text me you are alive, ok?”

“Ok.” I said with a sad smile before waving goodbye to my friend.

---------

 Maybe if I ignore them, whoever is at the door will go away… I thought to myself as I hid in my dark apartment.

“Open the door Cam! I know you are in there. I saw you in the window on my way in.” Sal practically yelled through the door.

Ugh... Fuck… I guess the gigs up… I sighed as I open the door to none other than Mr. Charm himself. “Hi Sal… What’s up? Did Kate send you?” I said flatly.

Sal rolled his eyes. “You act as though I am just her dog doing her dirty work. No Kate did not send me. I am an independent man who wanted to check up on his friend he hasn’t heard from all week.”

I let out another sigh and nodded. “Ok. Come in. Do you want some water or anything?”

“Nah but thank you.” Sal said as he gave my wreak of an apartment a once over. “Looks like you are doing good.”

“Har har har…” I said lackluster.

Sal came and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Tell me what’s going on.”

I pushed Sal off me and then grabbed the back of my arm before saying, “I know you talked to Kate. You already know what’s going on.” I snapped at him.

Sal raised his arms in defense. “Hey man. Didn’t mean to piss you off. I just want to hear your side of the story… I feel like as a friend you deserve that from me.” His voice was genuine.

I looked away still rubbing the back of my arm. “I don’t know what she told you… But basically she has been toying with me this whole time… She probably caught wind that I had feelings for her beyond just friends and that’s why she tried to set me up.” I pause as I turned my back to Sal to gaze toward my balcony. Memories of Kate’s smiling face waiting for me outside filled my mind. Tears started to tumble down my cheeks as I said, “I should have known she could never love a parvus. How can you love someone so far below you…”

We stood there in silence for a while. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling and frankly I didn’t care anymore. Sal came over and put a knowing hand on my shoulder. “Cam I know you are not going to want to hear this but I think you should get together with Kate and talk this out. It’s not my place to say anything so all I will say is that I think you both are missing something in your story.” He said warmly.

I wanted to get angry. I could feel the hate bubble up from within, but I just didn’t have the heart to let it build. Sal continued, “Look. I know you really care about Kate. I also know that this has really hurt you. It’s hurt Kate as well. Hear her out. You love her. I know that. So give her a chance.”

Maybe Sal was right. Maybe I should give her one last chance. My heart was torn between wanting to build walls to try to protect itself or allow myself to be vulnerable one last time with the woman I loved. Flashbacks of Kate flooded my mind. The way her blue eyes shown in the sun. How she never let her lack of singing skills stand in her way of Karaoke. Her gentle hands as they held me. How she knew what I was feeling without having to say a word. Dozens of memories filtered through my mind. I couldn’t give up on what we had. Not that easily.

“I’ll text her tomorrow.” I said knowing exactly what I was going to do.

Sal patted me on the back. “Good. Now if you will excuse me, I have a hot date with a bank teller.” Sal gave me a wink as he headed toward the door. “Oh and Cam.” He said standing in the threshold. “You got this.”

I nodded in reply. My sad heart hoped this was the right decision.

[jechristine]

While I agree that even though some of us think we know better plans, listening to WGA and SGA is really the only feasible plan right now. WTO briefly touched on how large scale boycotts are borderline impossible if not unfeasible in our current global landscape which is a little terrifying but we move ig. What I will say is...I'm concerned that the messaging isn't as motivating as I'd have hope. Obviously we're in polarizing times but I'm seeing and hearing more and more comments from folks on how they feel HW needs to get over itself and try working "real" jobs. I roll my eyes because how are these fields not real if only for the sheer number of people employed and dollar values of the resources. I don't know if WGA/SGA should start buying soft news spots or 60 minutes but even though it's early, I still have an odd sense the public is largely indifferent or outright denying that anything should be done.

I don't trust any algorithm run by Mark or Elon to not downplay any pro-union posts and TikTok may need to be the game changer. I was reading the other day that Wallstreet feels largely similar and that's why the studios felt emboldened to essentially make goon squad comments and leave the negotiation table. Even with them reshuffling their calendars and canceling an already DOA Emmy's in hope of public outcry (which I don't get; Why would there be a large outcry? Idk the messaging there seems like an overreact), I'm just a little lost on the next steps and I'm chronically online enough to get the main points. Ig that's where I'm struggling a bit because how do you motivate people from a states that just ripped away their health insurance, cut back education funding, and can't find adequate housing and employment to care about a labour movement in areas that have largely been seen as wealth hoarders, pedophile protectors, and just a "fun" industry? Yes, I know that their movement has the chance to change the workforce for everyone if successful but idk know if that messaging has been clear or successful yet. I mean I have bosses who scoff at Panera and Starbucks for offering $18 and sometimes health insurance and say it's a shame because that means we, a university, can hire work study students for exploitative labor at $10...I then have to walk out the room because I have no poker face.

ugh on that last bit (you meant “can’t” right?). Always animosity and a race to the bottom when some people hear about improving labor standards.

I don’t disagree with anything you say! The context I keep coming back to is that every labor negotiation/strike faces similar backlash and anti-union propaganda. I know some celebrities are rich and unsympathetic, and the industry as a whole feels expendable, but the propaganda play being run against SAG/WGA is just the same old crap. It’s always some combination of “we don’t have it to pay you” and “you don’t deserve it.” The balance is tipped to the second line of argument here, but it’s not novel. I guess that’s to say that this is the challenge the American labor movement always runs up against, at least since Reagan. It’s huge but not insurmountable.

But that’s not to say that SAG/WGA can’t get out there with stronger and louder messaging. Ad buys seem like they could be a good idea, and I’ve been hoping that can coordinate an A-lister campaign to take advantage of those massive platforms. And use the platforms to shine a light on the normie, working actors and writers.

I think another good path to motivate people is through anti-corporation solidarity. The Nanny has been doing some of that. More would be good.

[uneasedregrets]

Quick little PSA

( don't worry I'm not ditching the blog I'm just trying to let you guys know where I went )

So things have been rough where I'm living, and possibly going to only get rougher, so this blog has unfortunately been placed on the back burner for now. I am also in the middle of being onboarded to a new job ( work from home with the ability to set my own schedule ), as well as glancing at other work from home jobs, so I have less time than I would like to interact with you folks. I will come back to this blog ( I mean I am still here; I am constantly lurking ) just not for a hot minute. Once things settle where I am, whatever form that may be, I'll probably come back to the blog. Under the read more is more of a vent about the whole thing just so I can get it off my chest.

Things are Not Good™ where I am currently living. Not 'I need to get out now' bad, but 'I will need to get out sooner rather than later' bad. Thankfully my partner and I have planned how we can get out of here, and we have it more or less set up to be executed whenever it needs to. The problem is, I don't know when it will need to be executed. Best case scenario is we stay until the lease is up (July-ish?) and then leave, giving the other two members of the household ( one of whom is a major problem and why we need to leave ) time to prepare and figure out what they are going to do. That way everything is amicable and there's no bad blood. The problem is, that problem individual is highly volatile and fucked up the rent so now we're behind. We probably can bounce back from it, but living here is a problem because everyone is essentially living paycheck to paycheck ( except me and this problem individual, but I've been trying and she hasn't ) to begin with so scraping together another $1,600 when they can just make that and pay bills is damn near impossible. It might come to it that we have to execute the plan faster than we'd like. Which is bad because then there is bad blood and this problem individual is not one to just let things go. She's... just a very terrible human being, to be honest. I've only lived with her for a year and man do I actively not like her. I almost never feel this way about people ( one or two other examples notwithstanding ), but she's just pushed and pushed and taken and taken without a single thought for other people. Ugh it's very upsetting.

I don't mean for this to be anything but a vent. The situation will be resolved sooner or later; I'm hoping sooner but my partner wants things to be amicable. I'm also not trying to bleed my personal life online; hence why the details are vague. If personals want, they can dm me on Discord and I'll get more in-depth but honestly? Just venting this out felt great. I'll let you guys know when this blog goes back into full swing again. I might keep throwing things in queue as I can but I don't know how much of that will be writing.

[literaticat]

Hi Jen, thank you for answering the questions :) I'm an illustrator with a few books published. My literary agent found me online and signed me a few years ago. However, my agent hasn't really been able to help me land any work. The children's book illustrating opportunities I had were all from my social media. So I'm wondering, should I switch agent because of that? Is it normal for literary agent not finding the work for illustrators? And how do you usually find work for your illustrators?

Ugh I've been avoiding this one because it feels complicated but now there's nothing new in the inbox so .... let's get into it, working backwards.

There are two ways of selling books - let's call them "active" and "passive."

Active selling means what you probably imagine an agent doing -- I have a manuscript or dummy that I am pitching / submitting to editors in the hopes that one of them will buy it.

Passive selling is when editors / art directors come to US to hire one of our illustrators or authors for a project - so this is usually for illustration jobs and Work for Hire writing jobs. "Passive" sounds like there's no work involved but actually that's far from true. We promote our illustrators -- we have a website we have built that is visited by lots of publishers, we do weekly illustration spotlights that go directly to hundreds of art directors and editors, we do LookBooks and physical postcard mailings, we have an illustration instagram specifically to push our illustrators work, etc etc.

The thing is -- we can put our illustrators forward as much as possible, we can make sure publishers know that our illustrators are amazing and point them to our website and talk them up -- but they will only approach us when they actually have a potential project for them to illustrate, and we can't MAKE them have an appropriate project. You know what I mean?

(This is why so many illustrators also turn their hands to writing and do both, sometimes illustrating other people's work, sometimes illustrating their own. Because if publishers aren't offering enough great illustration opportunities -- you can make your own. Plus, having your own books for me to actively go out with is yet another way to get on people's radar!)

Also, I'll be real with you: The illustrators who get the most opportunities are the ones who put themselves out there the most and have great social media and a beautiful portfolio and new material of their own. Because we can highlight you and make people aware you exist, we can lead art directors toward you -- but if you aren't ALSO posting interesting things, updating your website and instagram, etc to keep it fresh and keep your name out there -- they aren't going to remember when it comes time to hire an illustrator.

SO ANYWAY. To answer your questions (???? lol)

how do you usually find work for your illustrators? by promoting them AND encouraging them to promote themselves - yes, I'd say that most illustration-only jobs DO come because of either social media or because the editors have seen the illustrator's work before in some other way, previously worked with them or something like that. It would be impossible to say if the job is coming because of OUR website or socials or because of something YOU did - it's probably a combo of both! ALSO: I encourage them to try their hands at creating books of their own so we have even MORE chances to sell!

Is it normal for literary agent not finding the work for illustrators? I mean - its normal for agents to TRY, to put their illustrators out there and do what they can. But they aren't magicians. If you are doing a style that publishers aren't into at the moment, or you never update your social media or website so your work looks old, or whatever -- they can't MAKE illustration jobs appear for you. Ideally the your efforts and your agents efforts compliment each other.

Should I switch agents? I don't know. If you are unhappy or uncomfortable or you don't think they are doing anything for you -- by all means.

[himejoshiba]

sorry ok i have another whiny baby rant incoming . ill hide it this time though to be polite🩷🩷🩷

im so mad!!!!!!!!!!! and feeling so sorry for myself. the only reason i even make so many posts like this on tumblr is because i have no real friends. like absolutely none i cant even stress how much so. and i dont even have “friends” on tumblr like ive never actually had a conversation with any of you. but anyways

ugh like. i feel so hopeless and lonely and unfixable right now. i have no friends and cant make any. my only friend is my mom who im bpd about but even she fucked everything up by having a special needs baby she regrets with somebody she should divorce and so now everything revolves around him. i dont even have friends so its not like i have any chance dating or even just hooking up. no gay events in my hometown so id have to go out of town (impossible) and even then theyre all shitty and like MAN focused like why are there so many gay male bars and no lesbian only bars. its such a fucking mans world everywhere i go. i feel so alone. i wish i could just fucking leave and start over as a new person but i cant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant drive. cant even learn because 1. driving gives me unfathomable anxiety when i try and 2. nobody will teach me!!!!!! not even family. and i have no money to pay for lessons . i cant get a job either both because the job market is absolutely shit and also im still so incredibly mentally ill that i keep sabotaging the rare opportunities i get. im not even pretty im so fat and unfit and i cant seem to stick to a diet to lose weight like ive been stuck at 218-220 forever because i keep giving up and binging and skipping walks. i literally tried to sign up for onlyfans the other day and made a tiktok and insta to promote it but onlyfans keeps fucking rejecting my verification and idk why. but like i cant even do that right. im not even adept enough to sell nudes online for pocket change. wtf is wrong with me, why is love so hard to find and to keep, why cant i just kill myself!!!!!! im too scared of pain and commitment and what happens after death to even kill myself, plus i have so many shitty animals who hate me so i cant kill myself or id abandon them:(((( no hope! no hope! no hope!

[qqueenofhades]

Sorry but it makes me irrationally angry that most people on welfare do work but their job isn't stable enough for them to provide for themselves. Like, it makes me livid.

Truly, though, why shouldn't it make you angry? It's trash turtles all the way down on so many levels. As someone who is still trying to find a job in their field, let alone anything that isn't part time/temporary/online/otherwise unstable and impossible to rely on, I have many thoughts (most of them ranty) about the whole gig economy and freelancing and everything else we are expected to do just to stay afloat. Like, right now I am (as I have been many times in my life, ugh) in the "somehow scrape together enough part-time work to barely pay my bills without knowing for sure how I will financially get to the end of the year." And it sucks! It! Fucking! Sucks! I'm lucky that I am living with family and not in danger of being evicted or houseless or otherwise sleeping under a bridge, but the stress is always in the back of your mind and .... yeah. I'm tired. I am so tired. It's stupid on many, many levels. Especially ever since the 1980s, we have been systematically brainwashed as a society to think this deliberate choice of economic model is a good thing, and to actively defend it. Which is just... yeah. Oy.

[incomingalbatross]

GF Fic: (Insert Time-Related Pun Here)

Having a birthday on the last day of summer was great when you were a kid.

When you were in college and vacation ended somewhere in the last third of August? Not so much.

“Grunkle Ford, I...I don’t think Mabel and I can make it to Gravity Falls,” Dipper confessed, the day before his twenty-second birthday.

“Is it the travel time?” Ford asked from the other end of the phone. “If your usual transportation is too slow, we can call in a favor or two for you kids—I know plenty of entities that would be happy to give you a lift as a birthday present—”

“No, I know, I know,” Dipper said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “And I really appreciate that, Grunkle Ford, I just...it’s not the travel, it’s being there. The other years we’ve been in college, our birthday was always on a weekend—last year was a Monday, but we spent that year with you guys instead of in school—”

“Thank goodness that seer tipped us off about her vision of 2020!” Ford agreed. “Taking a gap year to sail the Arctic with us was definitely the right decision for you two.”

“Right? Half a semester of online classes was more than enough. But—I mean, maybe it’s being back in school after being gone for a year, maybe it’s just early-semester problems, but...” Dipper sighed. “It’s just, I’m taking five classes, and I’ve got a TA job this year, and I’m getting back into the DD&MD group again and maybe planning to DM a oneshot as a Halloween event, and...” He sighed again. “It all looked much more manageable on my schedule. It was color-coded and everything!”

Grunkle Ford hummed noncommittally.

“Yeah, I know,” Dipper admitted. “Not the first time I’ve overbooked myself.”

“Not quite, perhaps. But it’s very good that you’re learning to recognize it and take steps to take care of yourself—when I was in college, I burned out routinely.”

“Mabel would sic the ‘Self-Care Fairy’ on me again if I didn’t learn.” The “Self-Care Fairy” was a truly terrifying onslaught of Mabelness, complete with costume and character voice, and would not go away until its subject had reached an acceptable level of well-being and had examined their mistakes. “Which is why...I have to cancel. If I came to Gravity Falls, even with instant travel, I’d only be able to get there around like 5:00 PM and I’d be stressed and anxious the whole time. And then I’d get back here exhausted and with no homework done and with class tomorrow, and...I just don’t think I can afford that.” Dipper paused, a knot twisting in his stomach. “I’m really sorry, I wish we could come...”

“Of course, Dipper, we know you do!” Grunkle Ford hastened to assure him. “Don’t feel sorry for us—of course we’d love to see you, but we just had the summer together. I’m just sorry you’re so short on time.” There was a moment’s silence.

“But how is Mabel doing? Is she facing the same challenges?”

“I mean, sort of.” Dipper smiled ruefully. “She kept trying to figure out some solution so that we could have our usual birthday and everything would work out, but...neither of us could come up with anything that would actually work. And she’s really busy too. She jumped back into school full steam ahead, and she’s got her Etsy store, and all her social groups to keep up with—you know she’s better at managing her energy than I am, but it’s still a lot.”

“I understand that,” Ford said. “You both do what you need to to keep up with your responsibilities, okay? We’re very proud of you both, you know.”

Dipper swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I know, Grunkle Ford.”

“Well, then, I’ll let you go—I imagine you have plenty to do right now! We’ll get in touch with you tomorrow, even if only by text.”

“Thank you, Grunkle Ford! Mabel and I are going to video-call at some point, we think, so there’s that. Say hi to Stan and Soos and Melody and the kids and everyone for me?”

“Of course, my boy. Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

The call disconnected, and Dipper sighed, throwing himself down on his bed. After a minute, he picked up his phone again and texted Mabel.

Just called Ford and canceled plans. He said to take care of ourselves and that he and Stan are proud of us.

Then he pushed himself into the homework for tomorrow until his phone buzzed.

Aww, of course he did. <3 Thanks for calling, brobro. I wish we could go, but you were right--I’ve got WAY too much booked. Why didn’t we check what weekday our birthday was FIRST???

Dipper snorted. Maybe we’re dumb :/

IMPOSSIBLE, Mabel sent back. Clearly an evil College Schedule Gremlin messed with our brains

Is that the same guy who makes it so you can never take the prereqs you need when you need them?

Yep!! And the one who fogs your brain so you THINK you’ve filled all your requirements until it’s too late to patch up the holes in your plan. His phone buzzed a second time after that text. ...Ugh, maybe there ARE gremlins in all the college systems

It would explain Blackboard, Dipper agreed with a frown. Huh, maybe they should look into that...

Anyway, though, u good for Zoom tomorrow?

Dipper huffed, reminded of the fact that they had no time for a paranormal investigation right now. Yeah, he typed, I can do an hour or so anytime after 5:30.

Cool, I will figure out a time and let you know!! Can’t wait to see your 22-year-old face!! :) Even if it sucks that we can’t party :(

Same, same. TTYL :)

Dipper tossed his phone aside again, shutting his eyes for a minute. It wasn’t just the party that had him down—though he would miss the bash that Gravity Falls usually threw on their birthday. It was...everything.

It was having a birthday without Mabel.

Oh, sure, they would talk, but they wouldn’t be in the same place. That was why, really, he’d hung onto their plans until the very last minute. He’d made it work on paper—taking an evening to travel to Gravity Falls, have a party, and be back in time for the next class—and it just felt wrong to admit defeat, to compromise on something this important. Their birthday meant the two of them celebrating together, having a good time, acknowledging that it was important.

This year wasn’t going to feel like a birthday at all, Dipper thought glumly.

But no, that was quitter talk. They were going to do their best anyway, because they were the Mystery Twins! Even if the situation was lame. Even if he was going to spend his time on the call with Mabel tomorrow doing homework and/or bursting with stress.

He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. “Why do I always overfill my schedule?” he asked plaintively.

The ceiling didn’t answer.

---

Dipper dropped his backpack with a thud on his dorm room floor, hastily unzipping it and digging out his laptop. He was late—he’d left his thermos in his last classroom, and been halfway across campus before he realized and turned around to go get it. He blamed his sleep deprivation (a week in, and his body still hadn’t readjusted to the rhythm of morning classes).

Now, though, he could finally pull up Zoom. He plugged in his headphones as he waited for it to connect (stupid dorm wifi), and was rewarded with an ear-splitting squeal.

“Happy birthday, Dipper!”

He grinned at her beaming face. “Happy birthday, Mabel!”

“Did you get a birthday cupcake?” she demanded. “Or at least a birthday cookie?”

He grimaced. “I got ice cream at the cafeteria, but I had to eat it there,” he confessed. “Here, I’ve got...a birthday candy bar?”

“Hmph.” Mabel looked crestfallen, but plastered a smile on anyway. “It’ll have to do! We can sing Happy Birthday, anyway. One, two, thr—”

Before they could launch into an inevitably out-of-sync rendition of “Happy Birthday,” Dipper heard a loud knock. Judging by Mabel’s startled turn towards her door, she heard it too—

Wait, what?

The knocking repeated. On both their doors.

“..Huh,” Mabel said thoughtfully. With a wordless glance between them, they both unplugged their headphones and went to their respective doors.

“Happy birthday, slugger!” Stan said, grinning, the instant he saw Dipper. Over the internet, Ford’s voice was greeting Mabel at the same time.

Dipper’s jaw dropped.

“Ha!” Grunkle Stan shoved past him into the room. Waving to the camera, he added, “Happy birthday, sweetie!”

Ford peered past Mabel into the screen. “Happy birthday, Dipper, my boy!”

“But—what—”

“Grunkles!” Mabel cried. “...But wait, why not just video call us? Not that we’re not happy to see your wrinkly faces, but you came such a long way!”

“Yeah, exactly,” Dipper said, waving his arm in confusion. “You guys—you know we can’t really visit, right? Even with you with us? We don’t have time. I dont want you guys to waste a trip—”

“But we didn’t,” Ford said smugly. “We came to bring your birthday presents.”

With a flourish, Stan produced something and handed it to Dipper. It looked like...a piggy bank, but with a clock face set into the side?

Mabel gasped. “It’s so CUTE!”

“But what is it, Grunkle Ford?” Dipper asked.

“Simply put, my boy...it’s time.”

“It’s a Time-Savings Bank,” Stan said proudly. “Got our hands on these babies a few months ago, on a little side trip. See, when you’ve got some extra time—like, at night, or when you’re waiting for a pot to boil, or whatever—you can use these gizmos to store it up instead! Then when you need more time, you use the clock to take it back out. Whammo! You squeeze in a few extra hours between the normal ones.”

“Like Daylight Saving Time without the false advertising,” Ford added. “We know you two are short on time right now, but...if you’d like, there’s enough in here to give you and everyone currently at the Mystery Shack a good few hours of spare time. What do you say, kids? Still up for a party?”

“Are we!” Mabel crowed.

Dipper stared at this miraculous device. “But...that’s a lot of hours,” he said. “Where did you get the time?”

Stan barked out a laugh. “You kiddin’, Dipper? We figured from the start that at least one of you would burn out when you went back to school. We’ve been putting time aside in these things for months.”

“...Really?” Dipper said. Somehow, he found himself blinking rapidly, and swallowing down some obstruction in his throat.

Stan coughed uncomfortably, looking away. “I mean, it’s not like we gave you any time we had a use for. Just some odds and ends here and there...every day... Anyway! You kids wanna get this show on the road?”

“YES!” Mabel shouted.

Dipper beamed. “Definitely,” he said. “Absolutely.”

And a few minutes later, when they all found themselves in the Shack (courtesy of one of those “favors” Ford had mentioned yesterday), and Dipper had piled into the inevitable group hug with his twin and his grunkles—and with hours of birthday celebration in front of them all—he had to add, “Best present ever.”

[love-and-monsters]

Alaris the Naga

Agender naga X GN reader, 6872 words.

You need a date for your workplace party, but the only person you can find is your roommate, a somewhat shy naga. Well, surely faking a relationship with them won't spark anything. Right?

You fixed your hair, carefully combing the short strands into some vague approximation of neatness. A cowlick poked up at the back of your head. You fiddled with it again and again, trying to drive it back down.

“Here. Let me.” The voice that came from behind you was soft, almost melodic, the sort of voice you would expect from someone who used their voice to make a living. Your housemate placed their hands on either side of your head, tilting it slightly. The touch made something in your chest stutter.

“Did you sleep on your hair funny?” they asked. Their voice was perfectly casual as they snagged a spray bottle from the sink and wetted your hair. Their voice was always infuriatingly casual when they touched you. Did they have to work as hard to keep it steady as you did?

“Something like that,” you said. Fortunately, you’d had enough practice, so your voice came out casual and unconcerned. “I fell asleep on my desk.” Their fingers smoothed your hair back into alignment. You weren’t sure whether that shiver that worked its way down your spine was due to the cold water dripping down your scalp or due to their touch alone.

They tutted. “Never mind your hair, you’re going to wreck your back sleeping like that! Your bed’s only three steps away from your desk. Surely you can make it there before you pass out.”

Despite the teasing words, you could detect the genuine concern that undergirded their voice. “I wasn’t intending to pass out. It was just that there was a lot of work and I-”

They sighed, somehow making it loud enough to overcome your words. “I keep telling you to take a break from all that! Good lord, you spend ten hours a day at the office and then you bring it all home with you anyway.”

You rolled your eyes. “We can’t all be our own boss, Alaris.”

“Hey, it’s not all fun and games, managing my own job. You know how hard it is to get deadlines done? I know the guy who sets them, and they’re full of shit.” Alaris petted the back of your head a couple more times. Was it to smooth down your hair some more? Just to touch you? A casual action with utterly no hidden motives that you were overthinking? Who could say.

“Look, in a couple of weeks, we’ll be done and we’ll have a big ‘end-of-season’ party, and then we’ll all be good.”

“I hope you’ll actually take some time off after that,” Alaris sighed. The took you by the shoulders and turned you to face them. Their nails were long, scratching slightly at your arms. You could feel the cool sensation of their scales even through your dress shirt. “Take a break. I’m always worried I’ll go into your room and find you on the ground, your body finally having given out under the strain.”

“I’ll be fine,” you said. “I get a full three hours a night. You don’t need to worry.”

Alaris huffed and waved their hand at you. “Just take care of yourself. Maybe once this is all over you can actually make the time to be a guest on my podcast.”

Their podcast was massively popular online, and the main source of their income. There was often some teasing that they could sit at home in their pajamas all day, chatting to a microphone, and make pretty much the same amount of money you did. Then again, you weren’t entirely sure you wouldn’t go insane if you had the same lifestyle, so you weren’t all that jealous.

“We’ll see,” you said. “I really do have to go, though. I’ll see you later.”

They waved and you snagged your work laptop before heading out the door. It was a bit of a jog to make it to the bus stop.

As soon as you sat down, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You sighed, fishing it out, but instead of an impatient text from your boss, there was a message from Alaris on screen.

A: You forgot to eat breakfast! ☹

A: Do you want me to bring you something? I can swing by your work real quick.

You smiled at their sweetness. They were always ready to do some kind thing for you.

Y: Don’t bother. They’ll probably have granola bars in the break room or something. But thank you.

A: Are you sure? A granola bar isn’t exactly a filling breakfast.

Y: I don’t want to take up your time.

A: I work from home, remember? I can do whatever I want.

Y: Are you using me as a way to procrastinate?

A: Busted. But I can still bring you something?

Y: No. Get your work done.

A: ☹

The texting conversation took up enough of your commute so by the time you received the last text, you were ready to disembark. You walked inside the office, giving a quick wave to your coworkers, and sat down at your desk.

As it turned out, you didn’t get the opportunity to eat anything once you were at work, because you were immediately drowned in a tidal wave of work. When you finally surfaced, it was nearly five hours later, and your stomach was growling wildly for something to eat.

Exhausted and bleary-eyed, you stumbled into the tiny break room and grabbed a granola bar at random. You took a bite and grimaced. Raisins. Gross.

One of your coworkers, a tall satyr with a tidal wave of curly hair, stepped into the room. “Hey, Sadie,” you said, rubbing a hand over your head. “How are you doing?”

“Tired. Just like everyone else.” She slumped into the seat across from you. “I’ve been trying to plow my way through the work I’ve got so I can get out early and actually change into something nice for my date.”

You stared at her. “You decided to go on a date now? Why would you do that?”

Sadie gave you a strange look. “I’ve got to find someone to go to the end-of-season party with me.”

You almost choked on your granola bar. “You need a date for that?”

Sadie pulled a face. “I mean, you don’t need one, strictly speaking. But a bunch of people started talking about bringing one and it turned into this whole thing, so now I feel like I should bring one. You know, I don’t want to look like the only person who’s not dating.”

“How does anyone have time to date right now?” you asked. Sadie shrugged.

“I dunno. A lot of people are married, apparently. So. I’m going to get a date. I suggest you get one as well. It’ll look good for office politics and all that. And also, you won’t look like a loser who can’t get a date.”

“It’s not that I can’t get a date,” you huffed into your cup of gross break room coffee. “It’s that I’m just not trying.”

“Yeah, sure, everyone will buy that,” Sadie said. “Like I said, you don’t need one. But it’ll probably look good. It makes you look promotable, and not like a loser.” She caught sight of your expression. “Hey, look, I’m not fond of it either. Maybe you can just get someone to come for the night? Get an escort or something.” She stood and clopped out of the room, her hooves hitting on the linoleum floor.

You groaned and leaned over the break room table. Figured. Now you needed to juggle work with finding someone to go to an office party with. You briefly considered just not going, but your boss took these sort of events seriously, for reasons far beyond your comprehension. If going with a date was expected, then you were going to go with a date. You had not put in hours and hours of work just to not get promoted.

It was well past seven when you dragged yourself home. Alaris was bent over the kitchen table, fiddling with their laptop. They waved their tail at you in greeting, not looking up from their work. “Welcome back.”

You made a noise somewhere between a groan and a grunt in response. Alaris lifted their head. “Bad day?” they asked.

“Something like that.” You put your laptop back on its charger and slouched over to the table.

“I saved you some dinner,” Alaris said. “I can heat it up for you, if you want?”

“Thank you,” you said. “Alaris, you’re an angel.”

They puffed up their chest with pride as they slithered across the kitchen. “I’m just helping out. I mean, it’s not much more effort to cook for two, and I know how hard you’ve been working.”

“I promise, I’ll get you something nice with the bonus check I’ll get when this is all over,” you said without lifting your head from the table. There was a heavy thump that suggested Alaris was wagging their tail in pleasure.

“You don’t have to. Really, I’m just trying to be a good housemate.” There was a hum as the microwave started up. “Do you want to talk about your day at work?”

“Ugh.” You lifted your head and thumped it against the table.

Alaris slithered back over to you. “That bad, huh?”

“I mean, the work itself wasn’t bad. It was pretty much the same as normal.” You lifted your head. Alaris was looking down at you with obvious concern. They had always been particularly emotive- it was that sort of openness and charm that made them so popular.

“Then did something happen with your coworkers?” they probed. You grimaced. “Is that a yes?”

“You know, for someone who deliberately picked a job where you have no coworkers, you seem awfully interested in mine,” you grumbled. Alaris shrugged.

“Work drama is at least three times more fun when you’re not involved in it. Why do you think I keep you around? Perfect story fodder.” Alaris winked and you rolled your eyes. “Maybe it’ll make you feel better to talk about it? I can at least help you come up with solutions.”

“I’m pretty sure no one can help me,” you grumbled. “Sadie told me today that- well you know that office party?”

“The end-of-season party,” Alaris said. “I’m familiar.”

“Well, apparently, a bunch of people are bringing dates, so now the whole thing is basically a couples party. And my boss loves that sort of stuff, so it won’t look great if I don’t show up with anyone.” The microwave beeped behind you. Alaris ignored it. “So, basically, I need to find a date in the next two weeks while not falling behind on all my work. Which is basically impossible.”

“You’re looking for a date?” Alaris asked. There was something weird, almost strangled in their voice. You looked at them, but their expression was carefully blank.

“I guess. Not that I have the time or the energy for it.”

Alaris shifted, scratching their nails across the table. “I could, er. Try to set you up with someone? Possibly? I have a couple friends who live close by. They might be willing to help?”

You pulled a face. “Well, see, that’s the other problem. I don’t really want to go to the party with a stranger. We’re supposed to act like a couple, aren’t we? I don’t feel like I could do that with someone I don’t know.”

Alaris made a noise of amusement. “Have you ever heard the saying ‘beggars can’t be choosers?’”

“I’m not begging yet,” you said. “You’ll know when I’m begging.”

Alaris smiled and shook their head. “Sure. Make sure to eat your dinner before it gets cold again. I’m going to finish editing the next episode.” They settled back in at their spot at the table and slid their headphones on over their ears. You stood up and fetched your dinner from the microwave. It was good, as per usual. Along with their other talents, Alaris was a good chef, and they made sure you had something good to eat at all times. In terms of housemates, they were definitely the best one you’d ever had.

After you finished eating, you went back to your room and kept working on your work. At nearly midnight, Alaris knocked on your doorframe. “Hey. Are you going to bed anytime soon?”

“Soon,” you said, barely looking up from your laptop. Alaris made a soft noise of disbelief in their throat. “I’ll go to bed before three.”

“Go to bed now!” Alaris flicked the lights off. You groaned and hunched closer to your computer. “You’re not supposed to look at a computer screen with the lights off!”

“Then turn the lights back on!” you called back.

“Go to sleep!” Alaris slithered into the room and draped a blanket over your shoulders. “Go to bed. Your work will still be there in the morning.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m concerned about,” you groused. But the blanket on your shoulders felt irresistibly heavy and the weight went right to your eyelids. They drooped so much that you could barely see the screen. You yawned so widely your jaw cracked.

“Come on. To bed with you,” Alaris said. They took you by your shoulders, guided your out of your desk chair, and nudged you over to your bed. The feeling of their touch on you was comforting. A vague idea tickled at the back of your mind, but you were too tired to chase it down and interrogate it. “Get some sleep,” Alaris said. Their voice was far away. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

As soon as your head hit your pillow, you were out like a light.

You woke with your head fuzzed and confused. Somehow, getting enough sleep had made you even more tired than staying up the whole night would have. Mumbling curses against Alaris, you struggled through as much work as you could manage before you needed to leave. Stumbling into the kitchen, you found a bagel suddenly thrust into your front.

“Eat this on the way to work,” Alaris said. They looked stern, but also concerned in equal measure. “And you have a good lunch, right?”

“You don’t need to fuss over me,” you said. “I’m not a child.”

“I’ll stop fussing when you learn to take care of yourself properly,” Alaris said. That thought from last night started to tickle at your brain again. It was still tiny, a little whisper of a thought, but it was stronger. You pulled at it, trying to turn it into something concrete. Before you could, Alaris nudged you toward the door. “Go on. You’ll be late for the bus if you don’t go soon.”

“Right.” You smoothed down the front of your shirt. “I’ll see you later.”

Alaris waved as you headed out the door. Even as you headed toward the bus, you kept chasing after that little thought that was somehow escaping your full attention. It felt important. What was it?

A few hours later, you were slumped over the break room table, Sadie looking at you sympathetically. “Did you not get enough sleep last night?”

“I got sleep,” you said. Sadie snorted.

“Look, man, you gotta go to bed at a good time. If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything,” she said. You shoved your head up with a groan.

“I actually went to sleep at a reasonable time last night. Alaris practically bullied me into it. But I think I felt worse than ever when I woke up.” You muffled a yawn into your hand and slurped down some coffee so thick and strong it was practically pudding.

“Oh, yeah, that happens. Your body gets used to not getting enough sleep, so when you actually manage to get a good night’s sleep, it freaks out and decides it wants to catch up all at once. Trust me, I dealt with that a lot in college. Just down a lot of coffee and you’ll be fine.” Sadie took a sip from her own mug. “Alaris is your roommate, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah. We’ve been living together for… I dunno. A while. It’s a good thing we’ve got going. They’re willing to deal with a lot of my shit, so. I like it.”

Sadie nodded, giving a delicate snort. “Sounds like they’re better than my last three boyfriends put together.”

That thought that had been tickling around in the back of your mind shoved itself forward at full force. You blinked a few times, startled. “Wait. Say that again?”

Sadie narrowed her eyes at you in confusion. “Uh, I said Alaris seems better than my last three boyfriends? They’re, like. Taking care of you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d probably think you were a couple.”

“Cool,” you said. The thought was demanding your full attention. It would work, wouldn’t it? As long as alaris agreed, you couldn’t see why it wouldn’t work. “Thanks for the talk. I’m gonna get back to work.” You left the break room without waiting for an answer, leaving Sadie frowning at your back.

As it turned out, you got very little work done. The thought commanded your full attention. If Alaris said yes, it would work. But that was if Alaris said yes. What if they didn’t? It was sort of asking a lot, even with the positive relationship you had. Would they be all right with it? Would it be unbearably awkward? The concerns flitted around your head like bees, preventing you from focusing on any of the work piled at your desk.

When you returned home, a bit earlier than you had for the past few days, Alaris was sitting in their usual position at the kitchen table, peering at their laptop. “You’re home!” they said, looking up in surprise. “Dinner’s almost ready. You’ll actually be able to eat it fresh for once.” They glanced at your face and their expression fell. “Oh. You look worried. Did something happen? Are you all right?”

“Everything’s fine. I just couldn’t focus, so I decided to come home a little early,” you said. “Actually, I had something I wanted to ask you.”

Alaris shrugged. “Sure. Just let me finish dinner, then we can talk.”

Dinner was a quiet, anxious affair. You fidgeted the entire time. Alaris kept glancing at you with obvious concern, but they didn’t say anything. They just waited for you to be ready to speak.

Once dinner was cleared away and the plates had been taken care of, Alaris fixed you with a firm glare. “Is everything all right?” they asked. “You’ve been looking at me strangely all through dinner. Is something wrong?” Their expression became even more creased with concern. “Something with work? What happened? I can support you if you need-”

“Alaris!” You cut them off, raising your voice enough to be heard over their frantic speaking. They stopped, staring at you. “You’re getting ahead of yourself. I didn’t get fired. Nothing’s wrong. I just want to ask you something.”

Their expression relaxed and they rubbed at the back of their neck. “Um. Heh. Sorry. Then why do you look so nervous, then?”

“I’m just…” You realized that there was no easy way to explain this and just shook your head. “I’ll ask you what I want to ask you and you’ll see why I’m nervous,” you said with a laugh. Alaris looked confused, but they nodded, gesturing for you to continue. “So, you know that we’ve got that work party, right?”

“Yes,” Alaris said. “The one you need to bring a partner too, right?”

“That’s the one. Er, and I don’t have anyone to go with me.”

“I did offer to try and find you someone,” Alaris said. “But you said-”

“I said I didn’t want to go with someone I didn’t know. I remember. And that still holds true. But I kind of had another idea at work. It’s something Sadie suggested to me. Well, she didn’t really suggest it, but she said something that made me think-” You cut yourself off, trying to stop the rambling before it got started. “Ugh, I’m getting nervous. I’m going to just come right out and say it. Alaris. I want to take you to the party as my date.”

Alaris’ mouth dropped open. You could see the sharp tips of their canines.

“Not as my real date,” you said, hurrying to explain. “I mean, you’d be going to the party as my date, but it wouldn’t be real. It would be, you know. You’d be pretending to be my date.”

Alaris’ mouth slowly closed. You saw their throat bob as they swallowed. “Er. Uh. You, uh. Want me to go to the party with you?” Their voice came out more strangled than you’d expected.

“Well, yes. I know we’re not dating, but most people at work don’t know that and it would be easier to pretend to be dating someone I know than it would be to pretend to date someone I don’t know. I would totally make it up to you, do all the house cleaning for a week or whatever you want.”

Alaris just stared at you, eyes so wide you could see the whites all the way around. “You don’t have to say yes,” you added. The way they were looking at you was starting to freak you out. It looked more like you’d cracked them across the head with a two-by-four than asked them on a fake date. “I just thought it would be a good idea- but if it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to.” Alaris was flushed, red spreading across their face at a rapid pace. But they looked at you steadily regardless. “I- I was surprised, is all.” They swallowed and their blush started to recede down their face, though their ears were still bright pink. “Are you sure you want to ask me?” they added. “I am a podcaster. There’s a reason I don’t have an office job myself. Social interaction is… well, it’s not exactly my forte.”

“I really can’t think of anyone else I could be in a relationship with,” you said. The blush, which had been steadily going down, flared back into full force. It was probably a good thing Alaris wasn’t drinking anything, as it probably would have ended up spewed across the table. “I mean, I could, er, convincingly fake a relationship with.” Was that better? You weren’t sure. “So! You’re, uh. You’re okay with this?”

Alaris lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “I do have a request to make in return.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Alaris leaned across the table toward you. “I want you to finally be a guest on my podcast.”

You stared. “What, that’s it? Are you sure? I’m not exactly the most interesting person alive. I don’t think I’d make for a very good episode.”

“I’ve told my audience a lot about you. They’re curious. I think they’d be thrilled to finally get to speak with you. Or just to hear you speak.” Alaris smiled encouragingly at you. “That’s my price. Take it or leave it.”

“I’ll take it, I’ll take it,” you said, reaching across to shake their hand. “But I think I should still take you out for dinner or something.”

“If you want to,” Alaris said. They straightened up fully, their snaky tail wriggling underneath them. “Just let me know what I should wear.” They slithered out of the room, leaving you slumped over the kitchen table with relief.

It was a couple more weeks before the party, but you found yourself looking forward to it, strangely enough. The idea of going with Alaris was actually an appealing one. Even if parties weren’t your thing, at least you would be guaranteed to have a good time with someone you liked.

On the eve of the party, you dressed in a formal dress shirt and nice pants and knocked on Alaris’ door. “Are you ready to go?” you called. “You’re not going to stand me up, are you?”

“That might actually be a good cover story,” Alaris called back. “You had a date, but they stood you up. Might be able to play on their sympathy.”

“Are you trying to get out of this?” you asked. “It’s not going to be that easy. Back out now and you’ll never get me on your podcast!”

Alaris gave a series of giggly snorts. “A fate worse than death! I’ll be out in a minute.” There was some rustling and shifting from behind the door and then it creaked open. Alaris emerged from the room, head ducked shyly.

They were wearing a white shirt with a few glimmering buttons as accents. A skirt-like piece of clothing was attached to their waist, held up with a particularly fancy belt that glistened with gold bangles. Apparently, particularly nice belts were popular fashion statements among nagas. They also wore a small golden hoop on one of their ears, and their hair was teased up to look even more fluffy and soft than their natural style. “Is this the right style?” Alaris asked, smoothing down the front of their shirt. “I don’t go to many office parties, so I’m not sure what the dress code it.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but found it strangely dry. You had to swallow a few times before trying again. “Yes, I think you look great.” Alaris smiled, looking flattered. You offered them your arm, trying to recover. “We, uh. We should get going.”

Alaris’ fingers were cool on your arm as you headed out to the car you’d called. Usually the bus was cheaper, but you’d decided to splurge a little bit. Also, riding the bus could be uncomfortable for someone without legs, and the car specifically had accommodations for nagas.

You found yourself jittering as you headed toward the party. Alaris rested one of their hands on your elbow. “We’ll be fine. I’m sure that we’ll be able to convince them,” they said. You found yourself leaning into their comforting touch.

“You think you can convincingly act as my partner?” you asked, anxiety leaking into your voice.

“I-” Alaris’ expression flickered for a moment, then their smile returned, though it didn’t quite reach their eyes. “I think I’m a pretty convincing actor.”

Their confidence reassured you, and you leaned against their shoulder as you headed toward the party. Nerves still jumped in your chest, but Alaris kept a gentle hand on you, grounding you.

When you reached your office, you could see a few people milling around outside. Pretty much everyone was partnered up, including one couple off in a corner who seemed to be trying to eat each others’ faces off. You nudged Alaris and pointed them out.

“I guess if we really get tired of trying to mingle with people, we can just go to a corner and start making out.” Alaris made a choked noise and their face burned bright red. They looked so taken aback by it that you found yourself blushing as well.

“Uh, never mind. Let’s go inside.” You slipped out of the car and waited for Alaris to follow you. As soon as their full tail was on the ground, you started to walk toward the building, only to have your arm seized. “What? Something wrong?”

Alaris laughed at you, though it was so gentle and affectionate that you didn’t feel embarrassed. “You’re really not good at this, are you?” they said. “We should be walking in together, shouldn’t we?”

“Oh.” You felt your face grow warm again. This time, you offered your arm to Alaris, who took it and allowed you to lead them into the party.

It was loud, a dull roar of voices that you found grating. Alaris snuggled closer to you, arms tightening on your own. “More people than I was expecting,” they murmured.

“I guess if everyone brought a partner, then the usual population of the office would be doubled.” You carefully dodged a couple of people, threading your way through the crowd.

It took less than five minutes to get cornered by a coworker. You recognized them vaguely, a human who worked as an office manager and managed to be relentlessly cheery at all times. “It’s nice to see you here,” he said, grinning at you broadly. “I didn’t think you were going to come, you know. Parties don’t seem like your scene.”

You forced a smile as large as his was. “Well, I’m not a big partier, but I thought the occasion was good enough to come out. And there’s no reason not to show off my partner.” You gave Alaris a gentle squeeze.

Greetings were exchanged, and you were introduced to your coworker’s partner, another human who was just as smiley as he was. By the time you disentangled yourself from the conversation, you were feeling exhausted.

“Okay, see, this is why I don’t go to parties,” Alaris murmured into your ear. “So much talking about nonsense.”

“It’ll only be a few hours,” you murmured back. Your mouth was close to their ear, you noticed, almost brushing their skin. That hot flush crept up your face once more. “Er. Do you want something to eat?”

Food ended up being your temporary saving grace, since it was difficult to carry on a conversation with your mouth full of snacks. Still, your coworkers stopped by every few minutes to engage you in some kind of chatter. Alaris, for all their protests, was much better at small talk than they appeared to be. They were also quite good at pretending to be your partner. One of their hands was constantly hovering at your waist, fingertips trailing over your clothes. You found yourself hyperaware of their hand on your side, the brush of their shoulders against yours.

When it became clear that food was no longer going to save you from conversation, you looked for some other escape. Soft, slow music caught your attention, and you looked around to see that a makeshift dance floor had been set up in the middle of the office.

You nudged Alaris in the side. “Want to dance?”

Alaris looked down at their long, sinuous tail, then back up at you. “Are you sure you want to ask me to dance?”

“I’ve seen nagas dance before,” you insisted. It was true that it resembled the sort of swaying motion that snakes did before a charmer, but it was still something. “And you can’t be any worse than me.”

“Now you’re being modest. I’ve seen you dance,” Alaris said.

“The two years my mom forced me to spend in ballroom dancing never really left me,” you said. “But that means I’ll be a good leader for you. Just follow me.”

Alaris rolled their eyes, but allowed you to take their hand and guide them onto the dance floor. There was an open spot roughly big enough for the two of you fairly close to the center. You lifted the hand that was clasped in Alaris’ and settled your other hand on their waist. They fumbled uncertainly with their free hand for a moment before resting it on your shoulder.

You kept the dance simple, a slow four-step that allowed you to move in a loose circle. Alaris’ tail trailed behind them, and you were a little worried it was going to get stepped on, but the people around you seemed to be taking care not to.

Alaris leaned closer to you as you danced. Their head lowered to your shoulder and their free hand shifted to your back. Your face started to heat up. You could feel your heartbeat jackhammering away in your chest. Surely Alaris was close enough to feel it, but they didn’t make a mention. They just leaned into your body.

You glanced over their shoulder to see one or two of the other couples on the dance floor pointing your way and making ‘aww’ faces. Was that why Alaris was doing this? Because they wanted to make your couple act more convincing? The idea struck you like a knife through your chest, a startling pain that made you gasp.

Alaris pulled their head back. Their eyes roved across your face with concern. “What’s the matter? Are you all right?”

“I-” Your face felt like it was on fire under their scrutiny. Why had the idea that they were just pretending made something inside you twist and burn? You had asked them to pretend, after all. But suddenly the idea that all this was a farce, it ate at you. “Hold on. I need, uh. Some air. I’m sorry.”

Alaris looked bewildered, but you broke away and stumbled off the dance floor. You heard them calling after you, but you ignored them. Instead, you stumbled over to the door to the back of the office and pushed outside.

Cold air hit you like a bracing slap to the face. You gulped it in, appreciating the clarity. Away from all the other people and Alaris’ concerned gaze, you felt like you could think again.

What was that? All of a sudden, you were feeling things that you definitely shouldn’t have been feeling for your roommate. For your friend. Where had this come from? Surely it hadn’t been there all this time? You would have noticed it. Wouldn’t you?

No, you realized slowly. Because it hadn’t been a sudden drop into feeling all warm and fuzzy. It had been a slow, subtle shift of your feelings over the months that you’d known each other. And now that you were looking back, in hindsight, you could remember how eager you’d been to come home to them. How you’d felt so fond of them trying to take care of you. How much you craved the touch of their hands whenever they tried to help fix your clothes or smoothed down your hair. And, you realized, you would never have asked them to come with you if you hadn’t had some feelings for them.

The sound of the door opening behind you made you spin around. For a moment, you prepared to make an excuse to a coworker and shuffle back inside, but Alaris slithered out and you stopped breathing.

What were you going to say to them? A bolt of fear struck you. You had only just figured out how you felt about them. Would they even feel the same way? Were they just here with you as a friend? Maybe they were just a good housemate. That was possible. Maybe they-

“Hey.” Alaris’ voice cut through the whirling frenzy in your mind, soothing you just a little. They folded their hands in front of them, swaying awkwardly on their tail. “Are you all right? I just wanted to check on you.”

“Uh. Yeah. I’m fine.” You rubbed at the back of your neck. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“It’s okay.” Alaris slithered over to you. “Are you done with the party already?”

Their voice was teasing and you laughed. “I was done with it before it started. But no. I’m going to go back inside in a couple of minutes. I just wanted to get some air. Er, if you’re done with the party, though, you can go. I wouldn’t want to keep you-”

“And abandon you? Never!” Alaris said. The immediacy of their response made warmth swell and flutter in your chest. For a moment, you gazed up at them, trying to convey your gratitude with just your eyes. They stared back, a flush slowly creeping across their face. They swallowed.

“Thank you for coming with me.” Your voice came out quieter than you expected. Alaris’ blush grew stronger, but they kept looking at you steadily. “I- I know it must be uncomfortable to have to pretend to date me, but-”

Alaris burst into laughter. You startled, staring as their upper half sagged forward with the heaving effort of their laughing. After a moment, Alaris stifled their giggles and gave you a weak smile, though it still crinkled their eyes at the corners.

“Er,” you said, a little confused. “Are you okay?”

“It was just sort of funny,” Alaris said. They reached out and tweaked a strand of your hair that was starting to cowlick up from your head. You felt your face flame. “It’s…” They abruptly closed their mouth, their sharp teeth coming down on their lower lip.

You had never been good at the silent dance of unsaid emotions. Most of the time, you stood in blissful ignorance of how you felt, but once you were sure what you felt like, you wanted to get it off your chest as soon as possible. “Alaris,” you said. “I- well, okay, this isn’t the best time to say it, but I’ve never been good at not saying things. I think… I think I’m realizing that I might have feelings for you.”

Alaris stared at you. There was no readable expression on their face. You continued. “I- that wasn’t why I invited you to come with me. At least, not intentionally. But I think I’m realizing that I’m so comfortable around you because I think I do like you. I’m- I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I wouldn’t have asked you to fake date me if I really thought I had feelings for you, but I only just realized it and- what are you doing?”

Alaris had both hands pressed to their mouth. Their shoulders tremored with some sort of repressed emotion. You stared at them. It was so hard to make out their expression. Were they crying? Laughing? About to throw up? Oh, please let them not be blackout drunk- you did not want to have to repeat your confession.

Before you could ask if they were all right, they threw their head back and their peals of laughter echoed across the back of the office building. You blinked at them. “Sorry, sorry,” they said, putting a hand on your shoulder. “I- oh, this is very ironic and it’s pretty funny to me.” They wiped a few stray tears from their eyes. “I was afraid of going with you because I thought it would make you uncomfortable, but I couldn’t resist the idea of getting to spend time with you. Especially as a couple.” One of their hands came over yours and your breath caught as the implications sank in.

“You’re saying you wanted to come with me as a couple?” Your voice was embarrassingly unsteady. Alaris didn’t seem to mind, though. They just leaned their forehead against yours.

“I have had a crush on you since almost a week after you moved in with me,” they confessed. “Why do you think I kept trying to get you on my podcast? It was my very shallow, very transparent attempt to spend time with you.”

A relieved giggle burst from your lips. “Oh, my god. You’ve been in love with me the whole time and I just never noticed?”

“Give yourself a little break. You’ve been working yourself all but ragged,” Alaris said. “And I wasn’t exactly trying to be obvious about it or anything. But yeah. I get very domestic with the people I like.”

“I’ve noticed. I just thought you were being nice,” you said.

“Well, I was. I was just being nice only to you.” Alaris leaned closer to you. Their mouth was so close to yours. Impulse struck you and you leaned forward, pressing your lips against theirs.

Their mouth was a little dry and rough against yours, but it softened as they molded their lips against yours. Their hands came down, securing around your waist, and, to your immense surprise, they lifted you up. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around their waist. They were a lot stronger than you were expecting, for someone who sat at a computer for a living.

Their tongue explored your mouth as they turned to press you against the wall. You had a brief flicker of concern that someone would come out and see you, but that dimmed as they pressed closer to you. A moan slipped from your mouth as they kissed you deeper.

After a few minutes, or a few hours, or some other strange length of time, Alaris broke away from you. You took a deep breath. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you sure?” Alaris asked. “I thought this was important to your job.”

“Fuck my job,” you said. “I want to spend time with you. Just the two of us.”

Alaris laughed and set you back on the ground. “Ooh. You know, if we’re dating, you have to come on my podcast now.”

“Fine, fine,” you said. “But not tonight. Tonight, I want to try some things that would not be allowed to go to air.”

Alaris grinned, took your hand, and started to pull you back toward the parking lot.

[thrillridesz]

love hotline ▫ younghoon

➳ pairing: younghoon x reader ➳ genre: fluff, slight angst ➳ word count: 4.2k ➳ requested?: no

a/n: this is written as a birthday special for tbz’s one and only bread boy >< i’ve made this a little different from how I usually write my fics so I guess I’m experimenting? do let me know what you guys think of this writing style ^^

also this is so late omfg and his bday is almost over but here goes!

edit: successfully edited!

Love Hotline! This is y/n, how can I help you?

Hello?

Hi, is there anything I can help you with?

Um, yes. Is this the number to call to sign up?

Yes, it is! Are you looking to sign up for a membership?

Yes.

Great! Could I get your name and age?

There was a hesitant pause on the other end before the guy spoke up again.

My name is Kim Younghoon, 23 this year.

Ah ok, awesome. I’ll just need your number now so I can send you a link to our online form to fill up or do you want us to use this number you’re currently using? We’ll try to get in touch with you with your match within 3 days!

3 days? That quick?

Yes! We try to be as efficient as possible to ensure client satisfaction.

Ah… I see. You can just use this number that I’m calling with.

Alright! Give me a moment.

Ok.

I’ve just sent the link, did you receive it?

...Yes. Yes, I have.

Great, do you have any other questions?

No. Not at the moment, no.

Alright so I’ll end the call here? If you have any other questions, you can feel free to call again.

Ok. Bye.

Goodbye!

Hello?

Hello! This is y/n again from Love Hotline, I’m here to inquire about the online form you’ve yet to submit? Do you wish to withdraw your application?

Oh… Um… No, I’m just thinking about it.

Hmm, why’s that?

 …. I’ve never dabbled in the online dating scene before. I’m just a little nervous and apprehensive about the whole thing I guess.

Ah! That’s completely understandable. All I can say is, it’s always worth a shot. No pressure at all in applying. If you’re ultimately not comfortable with it, you can always drop us another call and we’ll cancel it for you.

Really? You’d do that?

Of course.

I…. Ok, thank you. I’ll try to come to a decision by tonight.

That’s completely fine. Thank you so much! Have a lovely day ahead.

H-Hello?

Hello, this is y/n from Love Hotline. Is this a bad time?

*muffled sounds*

Um no, it isn’t. Sorry, I just woke up.

Oh! I’m really sorry, did I disturb you?

N...No, you didn’t. Don’t worry about it.

Um, ok.

A short moment of silence.

Is there a reason why you’re calling?

Oh, yes! There is, I’m sorry I was just a tad distracted.

You don’t have to apologise but go on anyways.

Right… Based on the information and preferences you have indicated on your form, I think we’ve found a few good matches for you!

Is that so? Tell me about them.

Ok, our first match’s name is Yeh Shuhua and she is 20 this year. She is also a first year criminal law student! Some of her hobbies include acting and singing.

Criminal law student?

There was a hint of surprise and awe in Younghoon’s voice.

Yup! Pretty cool, no?

I suppose so…

Don’t make up your mind just yet! I’ve got two other matches! Next up, we have Park Sooyoung who also goes by Joy. She’s a 23 year old florist who works for her family’s flower shop business. She has also mentioned that one of her dreams would be to travel all over the world.

Oh, that’s interesting… Does that mean flowers won’t work on Valentine’s anymore?

There was soft laughter from the other end of the line at his comment.

Maybe? Is that going to be a setback?

... I don’t know. Probably.

You’re funny, Mr Kim.

Please just call me Younghoon. Mr Kim makes me feel old.

Ah, alright then! You can just call me y/n then.

Sure.

Are you ready for your third match?

Yeah, go off.

Ok, so last but not least… Your third match is Jang Yeeun. 22 and a current freelance graphic designer. She claims to be vegetarian but doesn’t mind if her partner isn’t one.

Vegetarian? That’s a commitment I don’t think I could ever make.  

Same here, honestly but hey! More props to her.

Right. 

There is soft laughter in the background from Younghoon’s end of the line but it is barely audible.

So? Has any of these 3 ladies caught your eye, or should I say ear so far?

I… I’m not sure. Is that all the information?

Hm, I could send you a little excerpt of their profiles if you’d like?

That would be great, thanks.

Alright, hang on a minute.

Rustling sounds as the phone is placed aside. A short moment passes before Younghoon hears a crash followed by a yell.

 … Hello?

Silence.

Is everything ok?

The silence continues and Younghoon contemplates hanging up and just calling another day. He is about to do so until he hears your voice.

Hi, hi! Sorry if you’ve been waiting long!

Is everything alright? I thought I heard a crash.

Ah, yeah. That was nothing! I had to go retrieve a few files, just to double check some stuff before I send it over! I guess I wasn’t looking when I rounded the corner because I ran smack into someone. It was carelessness on my part, really. I really should look where I’m going.

Oh, are you ok?

Yeah! I’m ok, thank you for asking.

No problem. Was just wondering. It seemed like a pretty nasty crash.

Oh um… Kind of, yeah.

Kind of?

Well… That person was holding a cup of hot coffee and it spilled all over so...

Hot coffee? Did you get scalded?

Um… Yeah, I did.

That must have hurt a lot! You should really apply some ointment on the burn.

I will! Thank you so much for your concern, Younghoon. I’ll send the profiles to you and get to that immediately after?

You can send me the profiles later. I can wait but your hand can’t.

There was a pause before you replied.

Ok.

Anyone could have heard the smile in your voice.

Hello?

Hello, this is y/n from Love-

I know who you are. You don't have to keep reintroducing yourself.

Ah, ok alright. Figures. Sorry, it’s just a habit at this point.

It’s no problem.

Right, I’m just here to check in anyways! Have you decided on which match to call?

Not really.

Why not?!

... Was there a deadline that I’m not aware of?

Oh no, there isn’t. I’m just surprised. It’s been about 3 days since we last talked over the phone about your matches. I just thought you’d have picked someone by now.

It’s not exactly a priority of mine. 

There was a pause before he continued.

How’s your hand?

It’s much better! Thank you for asking, I’ve just been applying medical cream to it regularly so right now, it swells a little less.

That’s great to hear then.

Yup.

A short moment of awkward silence ensued.

I hope you don’t mind if I ask you this but... Why did you sign up for the Love Hotline?

Hm? Why do you ask?

Well... You said finding and making a match isn’t a priority of yours so that got me wondering. Most people would have made their decision relatively quickly and taking 3 days to reply is almost unheard of in the office.

... I don’t know. Now that you’ve put it that way, I’ve got no idea why I’ve signed up either.

Not even the slightest clue?

Not really. 

A pause.

I think I was just bored.

You gave a snort which you quickly masked with a cough.

I heard that.

Younghoon’s voice was accusatory, almost even a little playful but not aggressive.

I mean, joining because you’re bored? Not going to lie, that’s a first.

Oh nice. For once in my life, I’m first at something. Thanks, y/n.

A melodious laughter rang out from the other end of the line.

How are you still single with humour like that?

I’ll take that as a compliment. Truth be told, I have no clue. If I knew, I wouldn’t be single.

That's true. Oh yeah, you still haven’t told me who you have chosen to call!

Do I have to make a decision now?

Preferably? The faster you do, the faster we can get this match under way.

 ... I’ll just let you make the decision for me then.

What? Why me?

The incredulity in your voice was clear as day at his words.

Since I can’t make a decision and you need me to choose a match, why don’t you do it for me? 

I can’t for the simple fact that my boss will have my neck if it ever got out that I chose for a client.

Well, your boss doesn’t have to know that. It’s going to be between us anyways. If you don’t tell and I don’t tell, who’s going to know?

Well... It’s just weird. I’ve never been asked to do this.

Hm, there’s a first for everything. I trust your decision.

Really?

Yeah, why not?

There was another pause.

Just don’t betray that trust. 

You chuckle.

I won’t because I’m not going to choose for you. How hard can it be to just make a decision? These are all great matches!

Precisely because they’re great matches, I can’t choose.

You're impossible.

Thanks.

Younghoon, I’m just doing my job here.

Isn’t your job to accede to your client’s requests?

That was a tone of mischief in his voice.

Oh my god. I don’t even know how you look like but I’m sure you’d look like a proper asshole.

Wow, language. Is that the way you speak to your clients? Can I speak to your manager please?

You laugh and Younghoon smiles.

You are incorrigible.

You’re too cute.

There is a short pause as the two of you registered what he just said. Flustered, he scrambles to say something.

I-I... T-That didn't mean a-anything. I was j-just saying-

That didn't mean anything? I’m hurt.

You giggle and he stops mid-sentence.

What?

I’m just messing with you, I know that didn’t mean anything. I call people cute all the time too, especially my neighbour’s dog. 

Right...

So anyways! Pick a match!

No.

Please?

Just pick one for me. Client’s orders.

Fine, I’ll pick a horrible match for you.

I’d call your manager then.

I hate you.

I know.

Ugh, ok fine but this is the first and last time I’m doing this.

I’ll take it.

Great, I’ll talk to you soon then! Keep being annoying, bye.

Sure, I will. See you.

The call ends on a light note and Younghoon stares at his phone. What is this fluttery feeling in his heart?

Hey, y/n.

Oh, you recognise this number now?

Yeah, I have a decent memory for stuff like that.

Nice. 

So to what do I deserve this honour of you calling?

Don’t be dramatic. I was just calling to ask about your call date. How was it?

Younghoon grins at your lighthearted reply.

I’m surprised you chose Joy.

Really? If I remembered correctly, you were the one who told me to choose a match for you.

I did but I don’t know why. I’m still surprised.

Maybe you should pick a match yourself next time so you can be a little less surprised? But that’s beside the point! How did the call date go?

It was not bad, actually. She seems pretty cool.

Right? See, I’ve got an ear for perfect matches. I know my matches when I hear them. I’m amazing.

Yeah, yeah. I guess we can expect a call from the Prime Minister any time now. 

Stop being sarcastic and just admit that your matchmaker is capable and excellent at her job.

No, shan’t.

You are horrible. I get you a match and I don’t even get my thanks.

Well, fine. Thank you.

That’s better. Good boy.

Don’t call me that, I’m not your dog. 

So you’d prefer good man?

At your reply, Younghoon nearly spat out the water he was drinking.

That's so weird! 

Exactly. 

Call me neither!

Fine, fine. I was just kidding anyways.

There was a distant call from the other end of the line and from the other end, Younghoon could vaguely hear your name being called. He felt his heart sink a little despite himself.

Oops, duty calls. I’d love to talk more but I’ve got a meeting. I’ll catch up more with you some other day?

Sure. Bye.

Bye!

Hey, Younghoon. Wow, this is new. You’re calling me first this time.

Yeah, hey. I just wanted to call to inform you that the match with Joy fell through. I’m going to need a new one.

What?! Why?

You screeched and he had to hold the phone away from his ear.

Geez, don’t screech into the phone.

Sorry, I’m just shocked. Why’s that? Didn’t you say she wasn’t bad?

Yeah, she isn’t bad. Just not my type.

What’s your type then?

The next word was out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

You.

There was a long pause and somehow Younghoon couldn’t bring himself to say the words that bit at the back of his mind. ‘Just kidding’, because subconsciously was he really kidding though? 

Quit horsing around.

You laugh awkwardly and he frowns. This wasn’t what he expected.

Y/n...

Stop clowning. I know your antics, you-

Before you could say anything else, someone else called for you in the office.

Oh, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you next time? Also stop being a clown, it doesn’t suit you. See you!

Y/n, I-

Call ended.

“...Meant that,” Younghoon mumbled to himself.

Hello, this is y/n from Love Hotline. How can I help you?

Stop it.

Isn’t that what you always say?

Well, excuse me for following company policy.

I was just teasing you. Why have you called anyways?

What do you think?

My common sense says you’ve called to inquire about my call date with Shuhua. 

Your common sense is right. So, how did it go?

It went fine, I guess?

Fine, you guess? What kind of an answer is that?

A perfectly reasonable one. You wanted an answer, I gave you an answer.

This guy...

You groan in frustration and Younghoon had to stifle his urge to laugh. Teasing you was becoming a hobby for him.

C’mon, cut me some slack here.

It went fine. We didn’t really talk about much.

Ok, so what exactly is ‘didn’t really talk about much’? You gotta work with me here, bud.

Well, we got along fine for the most part but as far as chemistry goes, there wasn't really any?

Tell me about it.

We basically talked about our day and ourselves and I think that was about it.

Are you serious?

I don’t get paid for lying to you, y/n. Of course, I’m serious.

That doesn’t sound like much.

That’s what a conversation lacking in chemistry sounds like.

How do you know there’s no chemistry as you say?

Your tone was indignant and internally, Younghoon felt a twinge of disappointment in his heart. Were you so bent on making it work between him and Joy first and now Shuhua?

Why are you so determined to get me and Shuhua to work as a match?

I’m sorry?

There was surprise in your voice.

Well, I mean... It’s my job. I’m a matchmaker, of course I have to make sure my matches match. The faster, the better.

Right.

Yeah, so how do you know there’s no chemistry or no chance between the two of you?

I guess we just didn't have much to say beyond the basics? At one point, it was beginning to feel forced.

Really?

Yeah, no point continuing something that’s forced.

Are you sure it wasn’t just awkward first ‘date’ jitters?

Younghoon couldn’t keep away the frustration in his voice as he replied, feeling weirdly angered for some reasons.

No. It wasn't.

A pause.

Are you alright?

Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?

You sound like you’re mad at something.

Do I?

Yeah. You do.

Ok, then I guess I am.

You want to tell me what’s going-

I like you.

Another pause.

What?

I said I like you.

You’re kidding.

You start to laugh but it died down as soon as he replied.

I’m not.

But... Why?

It’s just you. I don’t know why but talking to you has always been comfortable. Remember when we talked chemistry? We have that chemistry. It just came out of nowhere.

A-Are you drunk?

Younghoon felt anger course through his veins at your words.

Does it sound like I’m kidding?

...W-We can’t do this.

Why not?

... We just can’t. It’s company policy.

They don’t have to know!

I... I...

Realisation suddenly dawns upon him.

You feel the same, don’t you?

I...

If you feel the same, why do you keep pushing me on call dates?

I couldn’t...

There was desperation in his voice as he cried.

You can, they don’t-

I can’t.

He felt his blood run cold.

Why?

I need this job, Younghoon. I can’t lose this job. If they find out that I’m dating a client, I’m done for. I’ll be fired.

You could-

I can’t look for another job. 

I’ll help you look for one.

It doesn’t work that way. 

There was tone of sadness in your voice.

This is the only job I’ve found that manages to pay my bills. I can’t lose it. I need this job. This job is something I got because of my mom’s connections and if I lose it, I’ll be disappointing not just my company but also my mom. My mom worked hard to allow me to work here. We were never well off and my mom worked her guts off as a salon assistant assisting the rich. It was through years of work and making connection did she become friends with the owner of Love Hotline who also happens to be my boss now. I can’t embarrass her like this.

Y/n...

What are you doing?

A sharp voice that wasn’t y/n’s interrupted and even though he wasn’t where you were, he knew in his heart that something had gone wrong but before he could say anything, the line went dead.

Call ended.

A week and a half passes without any calls. Younghoon grows more worried by the day. Did something bad happen? Ever since that last call, there wasn’t a single word from you at all until one night. It was approximately 2am at night when the phone rang. Grunting in annoyance at whoever is calling at this time of night, he reached out and answered the call.

Hello, who’s this?

Hey, Younghoon.

At the sound of your voice, he perked up and he was immediately alert even though it was about 2am in the morning. 

How’s it going? You haven't called in awhile. And whose number is this?

It’s my personal number.

There was light sniffling and immediately, Younghoon’s happy mood disappeared.

Hey, what’s wrong?

N-Nothing... 

I can hear you crying. Tell me what happened.

I... I... Nevermind. It’s stupid. I should never have called you. This is so extremely unprofessional of me, let’s just forget I called you. Bye.

Wait, y/n! Don’t!

Call ended.

The number you’ve dialled is not available at the moment. Please try again later.

Younghoon:

 hey y/n, are you ok? i tried calling so many times but you wouldn’t pick up

if you see this, pls reply. i’m worried for you

if you need someone to talk to, call me anytime

pls

don’t just ignore this, i want to help

Y/N: 

I’m fine. I just need some time to myself

Younghoon:

ok. i understand. pls don’t hesitate to msg me. know that im here for you.

Y/N: 

ok thanks

The number you’ve dialled is not available at the moment. Please try again later.

The number you’ve dialled is not available at the moment. Please try again later.

The number you’ve dialled is not available at the moment. Please try again later.

The day was bright and sunny as the sun bore down relentlessly on the earth. There was a slight summer breeze in the air which Younghoon would have normally loved but this time, it did nothing to uplift his mood. All he could do was stare listlessly at his phone, awaiting a call from a certain someone.

It’s crazy how the last time the both of you spoke was almost 2 weeks ago. To him, 2 weeks was an awfully long time and internally, he missed listening to your voice. There was always something so cheery and enchanting about your voice from the very first call the both of you shared even though he’d never admit it. The worry in him hadn’t dulled in those 2 weeks as he mulled over your whereabouts and wellbeing. The last time you two talked, you had been crying and in a depressive mood. Not being able to do anything killed him on the inside and as he entered a nearby café he frequented, the smell of bread which was usually his favourite scent in the world that would always bring him a sense of comfort did nothing to sooth his nerves. 

As Younghoon stood before the cashier, he said absent-mindedly as he reached for his wallet, “I’ll have the cheese toast.”

“Ok, that will be eight fifty.” 

Younghoon stiffened. That voice...

“Y/n?”

At your name, your head snapped up and your eyes widened as you made eye contact with the man in front of you. He had chestnut brown hair that fell in soft bangs over his eyes but not in an unkempt way. His dark eyes were large and soulful, seemingly containing whole galaxies in them and his demeanour was gentle yet firm. He was tall as well so you had to slightly crane your neck just to look at him. Although you had never met this man, there was something so deeply familiar about him. 

Younghoon could hardly believe his eyes. Here you were, right in front of him and you were every bit as beautiful as he imagined. He felt his heart pounded rapidly against his chest as he stood transfixed. It was awhile before he managed to get a grip and slowly, he said, “We need to talk.”

As the two of you sat down over coffee after your shift, he peered at you with a look of concern on his face.

“What happened?” His voice was soft as you had remembered and immediately, you felt at ease.

“Well, long story short. I got fired.”

His eyes widened.

“From Love Hotline.”

‘B-But... How?”

You took a small sip of your latte. “Remember when I had to hang up abruptly in the office?”

He nodded his head, dread creeping in. Surely...

“That was the day I got fired.”

Younghoon felt his heart fall with a messy splat. This was all his fault.

“I... I can’t tell you how sorry I am, y/n. I-”

You placed a finger on his lips and you had to try your best to ignore the burning feeling on your finger at the feel of his soft lips.

“Don’t. Don’t apologise because it’s not your fault.”

“But I-”

“I think deep down everyone knew that I was falling.”

Younghoon stared at you with a blank look on his face, his eyes shining with an indescribable emotion. 

“Falling?”

You smiled to yourself.

“You probably don’t know this but remember when you told me you liked me?”

He looked at you curiously and you continued, “Do you have any idea how happy yet conflicted that made me? I knew I’d lose my job but I knew that I liked you as well. I wanted so desperately to accept your feelings but I couldn't. I feel like my colleagues had already known about my affections towards you given the way I’d talk to you in the office. Someone must have told on me, I guess I was too obvious about it. That night when I called you at 2am, it was possibly the worst night of my life. I had felt so lost and hopeless that I didn’t know what to do. But then, I thought of you and this is so cheesy but... I felt like you were the only one I could turn to although I chickened out before I could say anything... I didn't want to burden you.” 

You chuckled sadly and Younghoon reached out to grasp your hands in his. The feeling of his large hands on you was so heartwarming that you felt like you could cry.

Drawing in a deep breath, you said, “I get it if you don’t want me anymore because of how long I had ig-”

“Don’t say another word.” Younghoon breathed.

He reached his hand over to cup your face and caressed you as the both of you stared deep into each other’s eyes. To think that such a deep bond can be forged between the two of you over a series of phone calls felt almost surreal. If you had told him even 6 months ago that he’d meet you, the love of his life over something as tacky as Love Hotline, he wouldn’t have believed you but as he brought your face closer to his, he knew that there was nothing he’d trade in the world for you when his lips came into contact with yours.

“You’ll never be a burden to me,” he whispered. “You are everything that I always wanted and everything I never knew I needed.”

[arahul-abyssia]

Festive

Writing number 4 for Nintember (@starprincesshlc , @jklantern )! To hopefully escape the pit of Emotions™ that was the first three stories, here's some hopefully much much much lighter, more slice-of-life-ish fare.

This does correspond to prompts 16-20, but I got caught up in Real Life for a while, so it's going up mega-late, and also it's kinda... abridged from its original concept, and less polished. 'Tis the way the cookie hath crumbled this year...

~~ Horse, Color, Hats, World, Music ~~

Layna awoke to a loud and repetitive hooting in her ear. She blearily turned her head to the side to find a pair of black-framed bright red eyes staring at her with interest. It took several moments of staring before she was mentally present enough to avert her gaze, sit up, and look out the window at the horizon. As she had expected, the sun had only barely risen fully above it.

She turned back to her greeter. “Relos! How many times do I have to tell you not to wake me up?”

Relos merely, and quite literally, hooted with laughter and flew off out of her room. Layna knew it was futile to keep telling him not to wake her, not because of any obligation or the masterful internal clock of his, but because he knew she didn’t like it and he was a mischief-mongering imp.

Normally, she’d roll over and try to get a few more minutes of sleep, but that day was the first of one of the best weeks of the entire year, and she didn’t want to miss a single moment. She quickly pulled herself from her bed, cleaned and dressed herself, grabbed the pack she had prepared the night before, and hurried downstairs, hoping to get through the delightfully aromatic kitchen and out the door before--

“Aaaalwaaaalrwaaa!”

Standing between Layna and the door was the soft pink-and-cream form of Infra, who was gazing up at her with strikingly accusatory eyes, her hands on her hips.

“Yes, Infra, I know I haven’t eaten.”

“Laaalruuwaar!”

“It’s the first day of the festival and I want to do as much as I can! I’ll get something from one of the vendors.”

“Luulrwarraalyaaa!”

“Ugh…! Fine, if it’ll make you happy.”

Begrudgingly, she returned to the kitchen and sat at the table, as Infra went to the stove, gingerly placed an assortment of breakfast foods onto a plate, and set it before Layna, smiling at her with fairy-pink eyes that had nary a semblance of her previous visage. Unlike the rest of Pokémon in her family’s home, who were all quite content to leave the human part of the family to do as they pleased, the Audino practically operated like another mother to her, as if she needed a third one on top of her human two (who also were often subject to Infra’s mothering). Somehow, she had learned how to do a whole plethora of human home tasks and chores, and she never let Layna leave home in the morning without ensuring that she’d eaten. An outside observer might wonder why a Pokémon was apparently her morning caretaker, and not either or both of her mothers, but with both of them having jobs that began long before dawn, it was simply how things were in their house.

She had to admit that Infra was a surprisingly good cook. This evaluation, however, was not based upon the food that she was at that moment rapidly stuffing into her mouth, but rather upon the numerous meals from days where she wasn’t dead-set on going elsewhere as soon as possible. That morning’s breakfast, while certainly of Infra’s normal calibre, was given no time to rest upon Layna’s taste buds, and may as well have been tasteless for all she cared.

As soon as the last bite of egg left her fork, she jumped to her feet, practically threw the plate and silverware into the sink, and darted for the door, calling out as she left, “‘Kthankyoubyyyyeeeeee!”

Infra was not impressed with her, as projectile kitchenware was dangerous and eating that quickly would likely give her a stomachache, but she’d have time later to worry about such things. Her next task was to prepare food for the rest of the Pokémon scattered about the house, who all were beginning to come to consciousness, probably due to the clatter of cutlery, and she set about with the same dutifulness and joy she always did.

Layna, of course, hadn’t even a single neuron focused upon Infra’s judgment, as she was far more concerned with sprinting down a steep road with wanton abandon, the countless colors and lights and tents and tarps of the festival visible in the distance. It had already entered full swing, always beginning with the dawn, and she wanted to explore as much as she could. She had considered bringing along some of the Pokémon, but not long later decided to bring them along later in the day instead. She did not know why she made this decision, nor did she care.

The streets that had been blocked off for the festival were already bustling with people and Pokémon alike, almost each and every one nearly as energized as Layna was. She promptly began to wander the streets, turning and spinning and looking about enough that she ought to have made herself sick, but this had not lasted for even five minutes before she was drawn to a larger vendor stall by an overpowering floral and fruity aroma.

As should be expected, an impossibly wide variety of flowers and fruits were on display, some having been made presentory and others still being attached to their plants, with countless more options upon the boards hanging from the awning.

“Well, hello there, young miss!” said one of the farmers behind the stand. “How can we help ya?”

“Oh, I’m just looking right now, sir.” She paused a moment, then was overtaken by a rather sudden curiosity. “There are so many flowers and berries here, how do you manage to pick and move them all?”

The farmer chuckled. “We have a lot of help, ‘specially around this time of year. Lot of it comes from extra hands, but it would still be impossible without the help of all our Pokémon, like ol’ Sitrus here.”

At this, he gestured to a Mudsdale beside him, which Layna had somehow managed to miss entirely.

“She’s lovely! And so… big…! I’ll bet she must be really strong, too!”

“More ‘n any of us could’ve expected! And she’s friendly, too; wanna pet her?”

Layna’s eyes immediately lit up. “Would I?!! I mean, uh, if she’ll let me…!”

The farmer laughed and brought the horse forward, and Layna tentatively reached up and placed a hand on her face. Sitrus took a moment to consider her latest contact, then, judging her satisfactory in that esoteric way few can ever decipher, leaned in to her touch. She giggled and stroked her a few times more, noting her fur’s strange combination of roughness and softness, before pulling her hand away. Sitrus, in turn, snorted a puff of hot air at Layna’s face before backing into the shade again.

“Aw, that means she likes you! Well, let me or any one of us know if ya want anything.”

“Will do, thank you!” Layna had no intention to buy anything at that time, not when there were countless other things to do and find and see at the festival. She proceeded to bury her face in several of the flowers around the stall, enveloping herself in their different, yet undeniably pleasant, scents, before scampering off to find some other point of interest.

She could have easily checked the maps of the festival area, which were scattered on boards and holographic signs all about the city and even available online, but this sounded boring and unfun, so she did not. Upon her winding, meandering, unfocused path through the streets were innumerable stalls and stands and attractions to take note of--more fruits and vegetables, tickets to special shows on later days, a ferris wheel to ride with someone else later, foreign cuisine and sweets--but it was not until she overheard the faint but unmistakable sound of music that she was drawn in once again.

Upon the boardwalk was a small stage with a frighteningly energetic group of musicians, surrounded by an even more enthusiastic crowd. They seemed to be in the middle of a rendition of a song Layna heard on the radio nearly every day, an anthem for Trainers detailing their goal to “Catch ‘em All.” She never saw the appeal--both of the song and of the objective--but it apparently spoke quite well to most others.

As they finished their performance--and on a much more somber note than the original song did--their main singer pulled the microphone from its stand and began pacing the stage. “I hope you folks are enjoying the show! Now, however, I’d like to take a break from the hype, and sing something a bit slower, something that’s… rather close to my heart.”

Layna watched as a Toxtricity--which had evidently been playing with the rest of the band, but which, just like the Mudsdale, she had failed at first to notice--stepped forward and began playing a slow guitar piece. The lead singer waited a moment, then began to sing a ballad in a tongue Layna could not understand. It was one she was certain she had heard before, but could not manage to identify it any way beyond that it was not the common tongue known by almost everyone across the world.

She tried to stay and listen, but immediately found that, beautiful though his singing was, she was not in the mood for slow music. Along with a small chunk of the band’s crowd, she turned and left, and returned to her aimless wandering and exploration.

Eventually, she found herself in a quarter rife with food vendors, most of whom had one or two individuals calling out and offering free samples. By the smells and descriptions alone, she was greatly tempted to take every single one she could. Of course, her mothers would likely have tried to limit how many she took so that she wouldn’t spoil her appetite for lunch, and Infra would surely have balked at the notion for the same reasons; also, most of the food in the area was rather far from being healthy. Indeed, she had significant reason to not do what she wanted to do.

However, none of those individuals were here to remind her, and as it turned out, the aromas were very persuasive. Layna marched forward and nabbed every sample in sight, only barely stopping to enjoy them before moving on to the next, and only doing so because of the crowds and lines slowing her down.

Her frenzy ended not fifteen minutes later, and as she looked about to find her next target of interest, she realized she had wound up on the very same street she had started on. Obviously, this would not do, as there were so many other, more interesting circles to walk in the festival’s streets.

However, with home being so near once again, she had half a mind to return to grab something to combat the rapidly rising sun, whose rays were just beginning to take too much precedence over the comfortable morning breeze…

“Twee-tweeoo-twrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!”

Or maybe I won’t have to after all!

A black-and-brown blur was barrelling toward her from the sky, making a frankly obscene level of noise. She stood firm and faced it, staring unblinking at the rapidly encroaching avian, before ducking at a perfect, precise, and repeatedly practiced moment. Like clockwork, Layna’s vision was shaded by an off-kilter hat (which she quickly adjusted), and the feathery form of a Taillow alighted upon her shoulder, whose face she began to delicately stroke.

“Thank you for bringing me my hat, Lond! Wherever would I be without you?”

“Twrrrt-t-twiii!”

“Wait, no, don’t tell me: Infra wanted me to not burn in the sun and you wanted to not be stuck inside with Relos.”

“Twrr-twrr-twrr!”

“I thought so… well, now that you’re here, how about sticking with me for a bit of exploration? I’m sure there'll be plenty of stuff to try!”

Lond pretended to think for a moment, then gave another enthusiastic chirp.

Layna giggled. “In that case, we mustn’t waste any more time! Onward!”

And with no decay to her exuberance, she sprinted off into the festival once more.

[nodusomnis]

title: gacha puller pairing(s): tsukioka tsumugi & reader characters: tsukioka tsumugi, reader, settsu banri, chigasaki itaru, rurikawa yuki, sakisaka muku, nanao taichi synopsis: if Itaru has his own gacha puller, then you have your own as well. word count: 6.1k

"Ugh! No SSR again!" You yell in despair as you throw your hands up in the air while holding your phone in frustration.

You had pulled three times already for the new event that the game currently released, and yet you still haven't gotten the limited SSR of your favorite character that you've been waiting for. You did your best from delimiting yourself to pull for the other events for an entire month, albeit your hands were yearning to tap the pull button to get the new SSRs. It was an immense effort to forbear yourself, to be honest, considering the previous events were a tremendous temptation for you to manage.

Heeding your online friends getting the SSRs within that month made you envious and anxious about the fact you wanted to pull for the new cards as well. However, you impede and incessantly reminded yourself that the new card for your favorite character will be released in no time, so you need to be patient as they said: "Patience is Virtue." Nevertheless, you cling onto that famous phrase for you to prevent yourself from tapping that awfully tempting button.

What a drag.

"Sucks for you." Your head spontaneously whips at Itaru, sitting indolently on the couch across from you with the other lazyass, Banri.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it from you. Your luck is much worse than mine, you know?" You sneer as you roll your eyes before flicking your gaze back on the screen of your phone to see the fodder cards you had obtained.

Just by viewing it, it utterly makes your head throb and puts you in a pit of misery. Banri and Itaru are minding their own businesses as per usual, for they had their own mobile games to play to even give you a scarce of their notice, particularly the salaryman who will never reel when he’s in his gamer mode.

You're the only one who doesn't play the games they are currently obsessing over since you're more into otome. Moreover, their games are beyond for you to grasp. Notably, you're not the type of a gamer akin to Itaru who will forsake sleep just for his one and only games. The way he lives his life is outrageously unhealthy, and you don't want to be sleep-deprived as you have other concerns to do as well in reality. As a university student, you need to prioritize your studies before entertainment as it was, by all means, your responsibility.

Since it was your day off today, you fritter away the responsibilities for now as you already completed the assignments you carry for this week.

Speaking of Itaru’s unhealthy habits, despite all of it, you do admit that you admired his obstinacy and perseverance when it comes to his games.

His devotion from staying in the top rankings and able to balance his work and entertainment had you respect the salaryman without any cynicism since, for you, it takes an amount of effort to segregate your attention to both states. However, the only thing you highly opposed about his commitment is him consuming a lot of money and not eating a decent meal during weekends as he would lock himself in his room for the whole day to play.

You never dared to enter his room since you know full well how he'd turn into a demon when someone disturbed him during his gaming bout.

He'd literally cuss at you, no doubt.

Not to mention, their games are not free to play friendly, which is why you never played the games with the two despite wanting to be part of their so-called co-op. It made you envious every time you will witness them being enthralled with clearing the dungeons and discussing their next quest. You'll lie to yourself if you say that you didn’t feel out of place in their conversations sometimes. Due to that, you did not disrupt the two, for you were aware that it will only hinder the momentum of their enthusiasm.

On the contrary, whenever you watched the two having a friendly game and seeing their triumphant faces when they won against some other teams was indeed a calming sight to observe. You would even notice yourself smiling along to their childish expressions, which was at first; you were bemused as to why, but shortly shrugged it off as you acknowledge that it was refreshing and a splendid view to behold. Though, sometimes, their effrontery they'd manifest will directly upend the sentiments you harbor for them.

"At least I got the new SSR yesterday," Itaru retorts, granting you a smug smirk, which causes your aggravation to develop and puff your cheeks.

"Yeah, right. A big thanks to Sakuya for pulling for you."

Banri sniggers upon hearing your response and leans his back on the couch, resting his arms on the backrest. "(Name)'s right, Itaru-san. You don't have the right to be priggish when you relied on Sakuya in the first place."

"Well, if you're in the level of desperation to get the SSR that you want, then you need to take drastic measures," he suggests to which you and Banri look at him in confusion with a tinge of curiosity.

"And that is?" Banri asks, and you only wait for Itaru to say his answer.

"Call for Sakuya and let him pull in your stead." Itaru exhibits a lopsided grin as he looks at you with a glint of persuasion and mischief behind those fuchsia irises of his. Hearing his outlandish suggestion earned him a groan from you and stomped your feet in distress.

This guy is seriously no-good when giving you advice. His reason only provides you nothing but a headache, and the faint light of hope you’re clinging onto is gradually quenching. You thought it would be something serious and beneficial, though you remember that in front of you is Itaru's switch off mode in which his princely appearance is out today, and his crappy personality will be served instead.

For that reason, you flash him a menacing glare, having the urge to grab his neck and strangle him to death, if only you had the courage to do so. Also, the director might get mad at you for diminishing their limited actors, albeit she’s a kind-hearted woman.

"Hell, no! Sakuya is your gacha puller, and there's no way I'll rely on your lucky charm—though I like him as an individual more than you, not gonna lie, no hard feelings. But seriously, your misfortune might be passed on me, so no thanks."

Banri bursts out a laugh once you say your retort, and even slapping his thighs so hard. While Itaru only stares at you with an incredulous face and instantly shifts to a feigned dejected mien.

"You're still headstrong in spite of being in a dire situation," he says matter-of-factly as he dismissively gestures his hand.

"It's because I have pride in me."

"Then that pride of yours must be discarded right now. It's not needed in this kind of circumstance."

"Ah, you're the only one who has the ability to do that, Itaru-san."

Your reply prompts the side of his lips to curve upwards, presenting you a boyish smirk on his handsome profile. The kind of smirk that will make girls' hearts skip a beat and fall for his charm, submitting themselves like he was a king who needs to be revered and would comply with his orders with no abstinence.

A relief sigh escapes your lips, knowing that you have the immunization to his charismatic façade and his princely appearance. Therefore, you needn't worry about being caught in his trap and wrapped you around his fingers with ease.

"I can't deny that since it's an irrefutable truth."

"You seemed to be proud."

Itaru lowly chuckles. "Of course, there's no room for me to degrade myself right now, won’t I?"

"You're seriously impossible." You sway your head in defeat as you are aware that debating with him is insignificant, so you ignored him completely.

You return your eyesight to your phone and find out that you still have two pulls left for you to get the new SSR. The frustration that temporarily quenched—thanks to Itaru’s sudden disruption—has now enkindled once again. You don't know if you should try to buy crystals if you didn't get it, but if you did buy them, then you’ll have insufficient money to sustain your future necessities, considering you’re a university student.

More importantly, there are tons of projects that will be given by the teachers this month, considering the first semester is about to end. In spite of having a part-time job, it’s inadequate to provide your simple living. It will be impertinent if you’ll rely on the company. There’s no question that Sakyo will scold you for hours and give you a mindful lecture about how to save money and blah blah blah.

That’s the last thing you ever wanted to occur. You don’t want to confront the cheapskate yakuza.

The dreading thoughts that are consuming your mind cause you to bite the inside of your cheeks in frustration. Temptation and the desire are crashing in your entire being like tidal waves, furnishing you a hard time to choose what decision you need to take. Preventing yourself from detaching yourself with desires is not smooth, like how you’d roast Itaru through words. After all, you’re just a humble human being.

Your only option is to rely on your luck, but the gut feeling crawling in the pit of your stomach tells you nothing but anguish from the outcome.

Ugh. This is seriously frustrating the hell out of you! You feel like you wanted to pull your hair out of your head.

You inhale an amount of breath to appease yourself. There’s no time for you to freak out in this urgent matter. You just need to determine what the best course of action is. You lift your chin to glance at the two gamers, having a sweet time communicating to themselves as though they are devoid of any dilemmas.

Their ignorance of your current lamentation and have the tendency to be merry is insulting on your part. Well, they are not the ones to blame for your hopeless situation since it’s your game. Besides, comforting someone due to some minor matter isn’t something to give notice. There are lots of controversies happening to the world that must be given complete attention to instead.

This is just a game. If you’re going to borrow Sakyo’s philosophy, then it wouldn’t be hard for you to decide. But to your dismay, you aren’t Sakyo.

Your mind drifts to Itaru’s suggestion earlier, trying to deliberate whether you should really rely on Sakuya this time. Do you really have to break your pride on the pretext of getting the SSR that you really desire?

No. There must be some other method to be considered. There’s no need for you to tarnish the pride you have confidence in.

Dwelling over the matter for a minute, the chatter of the two falls deaf in your ears like you’re being drowned under the sea. You’re too occupied with contemplating your next options to even give your half attention to the two. Once you had finally searched a good idea in the depths of your brain as if you did your utmost best to squeeze, just for you to find one due to the desperation to free from the shackles of your own hopelessness.

“The once dead fish eyes are now sparkling with hope. I hate that look,” Itaru comments once he took a glimpse at your way, which Banri also confers his attention to you.

“You’re so immature, dude.” Banri sweat drops yet ignores the adult beside him to ask your sudden enlightened face. “Don’t tell me that you finally got the SSR that you wanted?”

“Nope!” You chirp, making the two bewildered at the use of your tone, albeit you haven’t yet completed your mission of acquiring your deepest desire.

“Then why do you look so happy?”

Your smile stretches upon Itaru’s query. “I’ve got a plan of how I’ll get my favorite character.”

The two gamers exchange looks for a brief second before turning to you.

“How?”

A sing-song hum flows through your throat, and subsequently, answers Banri’s question. “I will find my own gacha puller!”

Upon hearing your response, the two were taken aback and rendered them mute, trying to digest the words you spouted in their brain, especially Itaru, who suggested not too long ago about relying on his gacha puller.

“What? So, you’re going to mimic my strategy, too?” The salaryman scoffs, and you roll your eyes at him.

“For your information, you’re not the only person who has a gacha puller. Self-proclaiming won’t get you anywhere.”

“When did I say that?” You ignored his question.

“If I’m going to search for my gacha puller, it has to be like Sakuya. Innocent and not corrupted like someone here.”

“Oi, you’re pertaining to me, aren’t you?”

“I kinda’ know where you’re getting from,” Banri says.

“Are the two of you gonna ignore the lonely salaryman here?” Itaru feigns a crestfallen expression and voice bound with a melancholic tone.

You snap your head at the whining man. “Shut up, Itaru-san. You’re being a nuisance.”

“Ouch.” You continue to ignore him as Banri shows a sympathetic look before returning his gaze on you, whose two fingers pressed against your chin, thinking who will be the perfect candidate for your gacha puller.

“Well, if we’re talking about innocent people here, then it’s either Muku or Taichi,” Banri suggests, stopping you from your tracks and peer at him.

“I agree with Muku, but I’m having doubts for Taichi,” you say with uncertainty to which Banri creases his eyebrows.

“Why’d you have doubts about our member, huh? He’s actually innocent rather than Hyodo,” he spats Juza’s name with virulence while brandishing a sour look on his visage.

“Why are you involving Juza in our conversation? You seemed attached to him, don’t you?”

Itaru snickers at your counter, and Banri, in a flash, shoot him a scowl before facing you. “Huh?! Who you’re talking to?”

“Whatever. You’re still in the denial stage, so let’s throw this off-topic aside. ”Your voice is as cold as the snow, face woven with indifference as you’re not here to discuss Banri's rants about his teammate. Seeing them bickering on a daily basis had you tired from always hearing the two autumn troupe members. That is enough. You don’t want to add it further.

“I’m still talking!”

“Anyway, Muku can be one of my gacha pullers, but it feels there’s someone who we’re still forgetting. Do you know who they might be?” You question the two. Banri’s irritated face has yet to fade, bestowing you a huff before rolling his eyes.

What an attitude man.

“She totally ignored you,” Itaru taunts, causing the young gamer to release a scoff.

“Shut up, itaru-san,” Banri grumbles. “I don’t know who you’re talkin’ about. Why don’t ya use your pretty little head to find it out?”

“I suggest that you should find someone devoid of desires. But I’m afraid it’ll be hard for you to search for one since humans are inundated with unlimited desires. Ah, I’m fortunate to have met Sakuya. It must be fate.” Itaru’s grinning from ear-to-ear, looking at you tauntingly as if looking down at you for being an unfortunate soul.

You repress yourself from lurching at the man just to wipe that shit-eating grin of his. It’s pissing you off. His face is infuriating.

“I’ll slap you if you’re going to rile me up. And I’m not kidding,” you threaten with venom in your speech. Itaru can even witness how your face darkens as though he’s in a thriller game about to get killed by you. It was enough for the gamer to hold his hands up, and motions his hand as though he’s waving a white flag at you, an indication of surrender.

“Please, spare me.”

“Should I go for Muku?” Is your immediate question, leaving the two lazyasses to shrug their shoulders in sync.

“Go ahead. It’s not our game after all—urk!” Banri’s sentence was cut off when you suddenly charged at him and grabbed his collar, pulling his face closer to yours.

“Hey, I’m asking for a genuine reply here, you bastard. Don’t give me a half-assed answer if you don’t want me to shove a pipe in your asshole.” Banri feels the sweat on his forehead begins to form and breathe hitches upon the proximity of your faces. His ocean blue eyes stare into yours, looking at him so precariously as though you won’t have second thoughts of granting him an abominable experience. Additionally, the way how baritone your voice was, so low and threatening that didn’t miss to send shivers down his spine.

He isn’t informed that you can be this terrifying and manifest this kind of appearance.

Even Itaru was speechless to say anything at this moment. He only watches his player two getting dominated by you, hovering the poor high schooler while your faces were only inches apart. Banri hasn’t responded anything yet and remained still in his spot. Itaru chooses not to step in between you two since it will be a red flag for him if he does. He has no qualms that he’s gonna receive your lethal glower, and Banri’s position might be switched to him.

So nope. He’s just going to send F to Banri on LIME later.

“I’m home.”

Your treacherous character dissolves in a heartbeat once the familiar gentle, and silken voice of the winter troupe’s leader meddled in your ears. Without wasting a second, you hop off of Banri to face Tsumugi with a sweet smile and amiable appearance as though nothing vexatious had happened.

“Welcome home, Tsumugi-san!” You greet him with life and skips to the man to welcome him.

“It’s amazing how her behavior alters in just a spur second,” Itaru comments, only for Banri to hear.

“I can even see flowers surrounding her face when confronting Tsumugi-san.” The poor boy, who just recently received your murderous intent, was in disbelief to see your cheery face at the winter troupe’s leader. There’s no trace of deadly appearance on you like how you gave him only a little while ago. It seems that all of it was a mere illusion once you confront Tsumugi.

“Oh? Why are the three of you gathered here? It’s rare to see you in the lounge around this hour,” he says as soon as he enters.

“We’re talking about some game-related stuff. So, how’s tutoring your tutee, Tsumugi-san?” you ask him with your full attention. And the said guy gives you his immediate answer.

“He has issues with memorizing, but I know he’s going to be fine once we continued practicing his memorization skills. It will take time for him, but it's better if we worked on it now rather than sooner. He’s a great student, I dare say.”

You couldn’t help but smile at how he really gives his full effort on tutoring his student, added by how supportive he was. It’s already apparent at the way he’s helping the high schoolers in this company during his spare time. And even he returned home after tutoring one of his tutees, if there’s someone who is in need of his assistance, he won’t have second thoughts to help them out.

You certainly admire and respect this man in front of you. He’s an actual angel.

“You’re really nice, Tsumugi-san. I can’t help but admire you even more,” you say straightforwardly, which causes the apple of his cheeks to sprinkle with red hues.

“E-Eh, is that so? T-Thank you, I guess?” You chuckle at the way he stumbled on his words. It’s so typical of Tsumugi to do that. He’s not used to receiving such compliments, albeit he definitely deserves it.

Tsumugi regains his composure and begins to ask you. “Anyway, what about the game you’re talking about? I know I’m not good with games, but I can lend you an ear if you have any troubles.”

You feel your heart warm after he says those words. Words that are enough for the misery you felt to evaporate and give you the slightest hope in your darkest day. His concern toward you surely touched you. Not like those two lazyasses still sitting on the couch, can’t even have a mere sympathy for you. Sigh.

“Now that you mentioned it,” you trail off, recollecting the circumstance you’re in, a good idea suddenly emerges in your brain as you look at the tutor. If it’s Tsumugi, it’s worth the risk. Also, you won’t know until you try. “Can you pull in my stead, Tsumugi-san?”

Your query generates him to be baffled, tilting his head to the side as he casts his eyes upon the phone you are lending. He doesn’t know what you’re talking about but takes the gadget from your hand regardless.

The winter troupe leader peeks at your phone’s screen, only to find out different guy characters showing on the screen. He has no idea what kind of game you’re playing, but he is certain that this type of genre is exclusive for girls.

“Which button should I tap?” You peek at your phone.

“The one that said roll ten times.”

When Tsumugi heard you as clear as day, he leads his pointer to the button you wanted him to press. He takes a glimpse at your face, eyes filled with anticipation and plead, eyebrows knit together while your lips tremble lest for the upshot of his aid. His apprehension solely expands as he hasn’t had the slightest inkling of what is happening for you to present such expression.

Further, he hasn’t yet to inquire about the whole matter. However, relying on him for your game had his stomach twist unpleasantly. Beads of sweat start to dribble down his nape, knowing full well that it’s something important to you. Hence, entrusting him with it seems that he is carrying a huge responsibility on his shoulders, similar to his troupe’s debut show. And for some reason, it appears that your anxiety has transported to him as well.

Tsumugi was too immersed in his thoughts to even lay his attention on the phone he’s holding. His gaze fixated on yours had yet to avert for just a little second. As he stares at you, the expression you showed a second ago has altered to a shock one and immediately tilts your head upwards to face him with eyes gleaming with rapture.

“T-Tsumugi-san…” you mutter, voice tied with disbelief.

Your reaction confuses him. That’s why he attempts to glance at your phone. But before he can even land his sight on it, you abruptly release a squeal while leaping in joy. And this causes the two men sitting on the couch to flinch once they hear your energetic voice.

He doesn’t know what happened, but he deemed that he did a good job. Your phone is still in his hand, literally forgotten to hand it to you back as his awareness is concentrated on yours, cheering like a little kid who just received a gift from her parents. With you being like that, he’s inclined not to interrupt your happiness and let you celebrate as long as you want.

Tsumugi couldn’t refrain himself from smiling at the sight since your mood is indeed entertaining and contagious for him not to.

“Well, we already know what the conclusion is,” Banri suddenly speaks while taking a side glance at Itaru.

“If I only knew that Tsumugi has this luck with gachas, then retreating to have him pull for me before was absolutely a bad decision of mine.” Itaru huffs, slumping his back against the backrest, feeling dejected upon recalling the day he mentioned. He sure does regret it, not gonna lie.

“You did? Condolence for you, man,” Banri nonchalantly responds.

“I can’t feel any sympathy from you.”

After many seconds of celebrating, you swiftly spin your body to confront Tsumugi with a wide grin. “Tsumugi-san, thank you so much!”

Due to the overwhelming emotions swelling you to the brim, you throw your arms around him, embracing the man with delight without any warnings. Your abrupt action had the leader to be caught off guard, and a faint blush instantly crept up to his cheeks. His muscles all over his body freeze, seemingly like steel that couldn’t be bent due to how stiff he is right this instant.

This kind of skinship makes him uncomfortable and embarrassed as he had never done it outside of his family, especially to the opposite gender since he knew full well how it’d cross the boundary between the parties involved. It’s not like he doesn’t like to be hugged by you. It’s just; it was so sudden that his coherence had flown away from him.

Tsumugi’s heart races alike when he’s having a morning jog with Tasuku. He couldn’t move a single inch as he’s yet stunned at the current situation. Fortunately, he didn’t loosen his grasp on your phone despite his astonishment.

Tsumugi only has the chance to relax when you retract your body from him, but your hands are still holding his arms.

“You really made my day! I was about to lose hope because I already spent two-thousand crystals, and yet I still haven’t acquired my favorite character,” you gloomily say as you gaze down to show how afflicted you are for your misfortune. But eventually rearranges to a merry mien after looking back at him. “But because of you, my hope has recovered once again! You are the light in my darkest time, Tsumugi-san! I really owe you!”

Tsumugi’s heart has yet to recover from beating vigorously, and here you are only supplementing it more. Your choice of words sure does make him flustered as though his face is gonna explode at any given moment.

“Y-You’re exaggerating. I’m not similar to what you think of me… Also, I’m just lucky enough to get your favorite character,” he bashfully says while avoiding his gaze.

“Even if you say that my opinion of you will never change. Just so you know, your presence around always makes me calm and wash away my troubles in the meantime. Well, I don’t know why I feel that way, but one thing’s for sure, it’s because of your gentle trait and artlessness that makes my chaotic mind to pacify from creating a storm. It really helped me a lot during the time of my crisis due to school work and job. Your aura is a good influence here in the dorm, especially everything’s a mess here. So why don’t you take the credit for yourself this time? You need it sometimes, and you really deserve it.”

You flash him a toothy grin, a perfect time where he peers at you again. Beholding your bright smile that is free from any malice, like the sun rays illuminating the dark places, he couldn’t have the chance to give you a response as it’s keeping him arrested from uttering a word. On top of it all, your disclosure of the way you see him has rendered him speechless, and his ears are starting to burn up.

“Anyway, you have my sincerest and deepest gratitude. I owe you this time. Can I take my phone back?” you ask, which returns him to his senses.

“Oh, right. Here you go.”

Taking your phone, you take a glimpse at the cards that he pulled for you. Seeing the SSR you’ve been desperate to get already came home. You couldn’t restrict yourself from grinning broadly, and the wave of ecstasy crawls to your system.

Relying on Tsumugi was the best decision you ever made!

“Hey, you lazyasses! I finally got the SSR that I want!” You enthuse.

Banri was the first one to comment. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks to Tsumugi-san.”

“Good for you. Not only did you acquire the SSR, but you also found your own gacha puller.”

Upon hearing Itaru’s statement, an idea instantly pops in your mind, which causes you to whip your head at Tsumugi, who’s looking at you with a questioning gaze.

“Hey, Tsumugi-san,” you drawl his name, almost cooing. “Can you give me the honor of being my gacha puller?”

Hearing your question and the way you look at him with puppy eyes prompts him to blink his eyes in confusion, specifically to the word he hasn’t yet encountered.

Is that a slang word for games? Also, why are you looking at him like that?

“Why does it seem like (Name)’s proposing to him?” Banri utters while watching you with a weird look.

Itaru evokes a scoff. “Maybe she is.”

“You kiddin' me, right?” Itaru only shrugs his shoulders as his response to the autumn leader before returning his attention to you and Tsumugi.

The tutor doesn’t know what could be his answer to your offer just now. You’re still staring at him with hopeful eyes, seemingly glimmering under the lights of the lounge. Tsumugi feels a sweat dribbling down his temples as he’s getting self-conscious by the seconds you keep on staring at him with gravity.

Before he speaks, he gulps first to hydrate his almost dry throat to prevent him from stuttering.

“W-What do you mean by gacha puller?”

Well, so much for not stuttering. He sighs mentally.

“Oh, just like what you did earlier. You’re only going to pull for me to get the SSRs that I want. I don’t have luck like yours, but Itaru-san’s luck is much worse than I am, though.”

Itaru reflexively reacts upon the mention of his name. “Oi, why did I suddenly get involved in this? I’m not doing anything to you. That’s BM.”

Tsumugi sweat drops at Itaru’s retort and sheepishly laughs, knowing the two of you are glaring at each other that he can even see an invisible line of electricity through your gazes. In order for both of you to stop, he decides to meddle to change the atmosphere that is starting to surround the lounge, and before the situation gets worse.

“If that’s the only terms and conditions, then I wouldn’t mind.” In a spur second, you snap your head at him, and the antagonistic face you display for the gamer vanishes in a jiffy when you confront him.

“Really?!” You exclaim with a broad smile.

Tsumugi nods, smiling as well. “Yeah, I don’t mind. If it will make you happy, then I’ll offer you my assistance.”

The leader stumbles when you suddenly leaped in joy and hugged him with enthusiasm. This causes his face to flare again as he didn’t expect that he’ll be embraced by you two times in a row. But what makes his face to sharpen its red color is when the three words that slipped from your lips.

“I love you, Tsumugi-san! You’re the best!”

It seems that the cogs of his brain have stopped as though something had blocked its operation. His eyes grow wide like saucers as he hadn’t foreseen of you to blurt out such a thing. Tsumugi strives to second-guess. Perhaps, the meaning of your words is just a simple expression to imply how happy and grateful you are for him to accept your request. However, in the deepest corner of his brain tells him otherwise, and that alone only adds the saturation of his red face.

The two gamers who witnessed the scene solely stare at you both with shock evident in their profiles. They couldn’t follow if it’s just the same as to how Tsumugi sees it, or you accidentally confessed to him because of your overwhelming emotions that you couldn't contain. But they couldn’t even recall a time where there’s a sign of you liking the winter troupe leader. There is a high possibility that you’re hiding your feelings that you slipped it out, out of the blue. If it does, then you sure are damn good.

The lounge is crackling with awkwardness, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you of how the silence erupts inside. When you assimilate the situation and the words you had blurted just now, it was enough for you to release yourself from Tsumugi with so much haste that you even toppled on your feet.

You lift your chin up to face the leader, whose face is in a bright shade of red and had never seen him looking at you with such big eyes as though accusing you with something in which he is confident that you are the culprit.

Oh gosh, you said something you shouldn’t have. You can be an idiot sometimes.

Now, you don’t know how you’ll get away from this awkward tension. Your face is heating up as the seconds' tick, and the stares of the three seem like melting you slowly. The embarrassment you had induced to yourself makes you want to dig a hole and put your head inside like an ostrich, rejecting to face reality. Noticing Tsumugi’s flustered visage didn’t help you to soothe yourself even for just a brief moment. Instead, it gives you more a reason to faint at this current moment.

“I-I…” you stammer, trying to find an excuse to defend yourself. However, your brain isn’t cooperating with you in this predicament, for it’s in turmoil to even go back to its coherence. Your head is becoming fuzzy, thanks to the shame that’s eating you alive. Most importantly, it appears to be your body has been frozen, obstructing you from running away just as you want to.

“We’re home!” The new voice that emerges from the front door snaps you all back to your senses and turn your heads where the others are.

The shuffling sounds and footsteps are heading to your way. You assure that the voice you recently heard is Taichi’s, and you heard Muku and Yuki’s voice as well. Once the trio enters the lounge, they instantly greet you all.

“We’re back,” Yuki says nonchalantly, facing the two gamers before shifting to you and Tsumugi.

“What are you all gathered here for?” Taichi’s inquiry causes Itaru and Banri to cast their eyes upon you, and that action had Muku to be baffled and look at you as well.

Both of your faces are red, and it’s not that difficult for the three to notice the awkward atmosphere between you and the winter troupe leader.

“Eh, why are your faces red?” Taichi suddenly asks to which you flinch in your spot and frantically shakes your head.

“I-It is? It’s because the w-weather is hot for me to handle, so that’s why,” you awkwardly laugh while scratching the back of your head. “Oh, it’s already six. I need to go back to my room to do my homework! Well, see you all around! And by the way, welcome home, you three!” After you bid your goodbye, you dash away from the lounge, like a speed of light.

The students who just arrived simply display a confounded expression, and discerns the way you’re being frantic as though you’re in a hurry.

“So, why’s the acting nerd blushing?” Yuki blurts, intensely scrutinizing the said man.

Hearing Yuki’s question earns his attention and shakes his head violently, similar to what you did earlier. “E-Eh? I-It’s nothing serious…”

His answer hadn’t convinced the designer, but instead, it only ignites his suspicions toward the flustered tutor.

“Oi, elite swindler, and neo gangster, did something happen while we were away?”

“Perhaps, it’s time for me to tend the flowers. I-I’ll see you all later…” Tsumugi says with a trace of timidity in his voice, eluding the question that may pass onto him soon. And afterward, he struts away from the place before going to the courtyard to look at the flowerbeds.

The ones who are left in the lounge just watch him until his figure disappears in their sight.

“So, what happened?” Yuki interrogates. The two gamers sitting on the couch steal glances at each other before Banri shrugs his shoulders.

“Well, it’s not our place to tell you that.”

“Eh?! What, why?! Is it some scoop the reason why you aren’t sharing it with us?!” Taichi exclaimed, causing the pink-haired boy to blush upon imagining something intimate.

“W-What if they accidentally kissed, that’s why they are blushing like that?! It’s like a scene from a shoujo manga. T-Then, after that incident, it will make the two slowly fall in love with each other!”

“N-No way!”

“Calm down, you two,” Yuki elicits a sigh as the two starts to become engrossed in their own world.

Banri and Itaru laugh at Muku’s presumption. In spite of acquiring your own gacha puller, there’s still a consequence for you to get what you desire. And that is embarrassing yourself in front of the known angel of the winter troupe.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Human Au, One character goes into another character's room looking for him, the closet door is open, first character peeks inside looking for second character, but instead of clothes or the second character they find... something (idk what they found) -pineapple

Alright so there’s a lot of ways this could be seen but the thing I thought first is more or less

Remy and Virgil are roommates for whatever and Virgil needs Remy for smth so he wanders into his room and he’s not there so Virgil checks the closet

Remy’s not there, and while there are some clothes, they’re in a pile on the middle of the closet floor

Lining the walls and sat on the shelves, instead, are… weapons

Guns, knives, some arrows next to what might be a fold-able bow, blow darts, etc.

There’s a box that’s ajar and seemingly holding a dozen IDs sitting next to boomerang and the only outfit that’s hung up is a pressed suit

There are FIVE pairs of sunglasses stacked on top of each other as well and Virgil just wants to know what the FUCK is going on

Remy wanders in a moment later, while Virgil’s still trying to figure out his closet, and he’s just ‘yo babes heard you calling for me- aw, fuck’

Virgil turns to Remy like ‘what??? is this???’

Remy’s ignoring him and just muttering to himself, ‘stupid nosey roommates always get in my closet… no privacy… guess I should lock it but that’s my problem… ugh I liked this one too…’

Virgil, crying in spirit: ‘PLEASE give me some sort of explanation’

Remy: ‘yeah, sure, just uh… oh look! a knife!’

Virgil, a stressed fool, turned around to look, found that, yeah, there were knives but he already knew that, and what was that sudden sting in his arm that can’t be good when did the world starting getting all wobbly and dark-

Virgil wakes up about two hours later sprawled on his bed with a little smiley-faces bandage slapped literally over his hoodie

Checking the spot beneath the hoodie + bandage reveals a little red dot that Virgil knows well enough from when he gets flu shots

He groans

His roommate drugged him after Virgil found his danger closet

Getting up a few minutes later and checking around the apartment finds an unmarked envelope filled with next month’s rent sitting on the table and all of Remy’s things completely gone and packed up- closet definitely included

Great. His ex-roommate drugged him and left after Virgil found his danger closet that is now completely unexplained and will likely never be explained

Well, Virgil can’t let that stand

He wants explanations and by gods he’s going to get them!

Even though Remy’s gone, his presence isn’t completely erased. Virgil remembers him, remembers how he acted and where he went and a few other things

(It’s an anxiety thing, that he knows all this, alright? not stalker-y or creepy or related to the fact that Remy’s cute)

It takes a few weeks, triangulating all the places he went and making calls that are… weird, at the best, and downright life-threatening at worst, but everything just makes Virgil more and more curious until he’s standing in front of an abandoned warehouse that he’s heard mentioned five times in all his calling and is his best lead as to where the hell Remy went

He manages to break in through a window that’s missing its glass pane

Virgil’s confused at first when he finds nothing but a completely empty factory, decorated skillfully with old barrels and rotting planks, but he pokes around a bit and finds a trap door under a couple of marked ‘hazardous material’ containers

(Any other day, any other place? He wouldn’t have even thought of touching them- but here and now, all he could think was ‘where would I hide my secrets? underneath the thing no one would ever touch is probably a good idea’)

He descends the ladder within, dropping into a narrow passage that leads… somewhere

He starts to walk down it when the lights that lined the walls suddenly flickered off, plunging him into complete darkness

Footsteps echo in the hall until five seconds the lights are back on and there are six different people in dark, uniform clothing pointing guns at him

Virgil puts his hands up before they’re even asking him too, confused and unsure of what the hell was happening until there’s a ripple in the ranks, the people getting pushed and nudged to the side as someone presses their way in between them, making their way to the front, and it’s-

“Remy?” Virgil says the minute he sees his former roommate, though he’s- well he’s him but also not, sunglasses there but propped up on top of his head instead of over his eyes, still in ripped jeans and a crop top but their both plain black instead of being bright, garnish colours, a coffee in his hand but in a paper cup instead of a Starbucks one

“You’re- you-” Remy looks confused, brow furrowed, but eventually he just sighs, rubbing his temple before he says, “Drop it, boys, I’ll handle it”

The people with guns obey immediately, squinting suspiciously at Virgil as they holster their guns and shuffle away. Remy’s still looking at Virgil like he doesn’t belong there (which he doesn’t, he really doesn’t)

“How’d you find me, babes?” Remy asked, finally, after the silence stretched for a while. “There are some people who would kill to get here, though I don’t really think that’s up your alley.”

“I made a lot of calls.” Virgil answered hesitantly. He didn’t like implication that he had done something impossibly hard. “And triangulated a few locations. Just… small stuff.”

“Trust me, that ain’t small. Why were you trying to find this place?”

“I wanted to know why my roommate had a closet full of weapons and convenient knock-out drugs on hand.” Virgil snapped, annoyed.

Remy half-shrugged. “Fair enough.” He turned, already starting to walk away. “Come on.”

Virgil didn’t bother asking why Remy wanted him to follow or where they were going or what was happening or anything, really, because something told him he’d figure it out soon enough

They eventually reached the end of the hallway, and Virgil had to bite back a gasp of pure shock when he saw the room they entered

The place seemed to be a fully set up agency; the room they immediately entered had smoothed rock floors that were covered in various desks and screens, lights attached to the walls and laid within the floor as well, hallways carved into the walls leading elsewhere

Most of the desks were occupied by people dressed identically to those who had held Virgil up in the hallway, working diligently in their plain outfits, guns clearly hanging against their hips and making Virgil more than a little nervous.

“Welcome… to Nowhere.” Remy said, waving at the room before turning to grin at Virgil. “We call it that because, legally, this place? It exists nowhere. The warehouse over it doesn’t even exist- not if you looked for it solely through google maps and government records, anyways.”

“Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious?”

Remy shrugged. “Google maps makes mistakes. Government systems glitch. and if anyone happens to notice, well… most of them don’t have the luck of having had been roommate’s with one of the people who know this place is real.”

Virgil knew he paled at that. “I… hate that.”

Remy nodded. “Not surprised… come on! To my office!”

Virgil felt odd, shuffling past the desks with all the workers staring untrustingly at him as Remy whistled and more or less skipped by, taking them down another hall before ushering Virgil into one of the rooms branching off of it

The room was like the rest of the place- stone walls and floors- but with only one chair in it, set up before a desk + wall of monitors and screens paired with three keyboards and two computer mice.

“Have a seat.” Remy says, sitting himself on one of the outcroppings of stone sticking out of the wall. “We have a lot to talk about.”

And I won’t go further but basically the idea is that Remy’s part of a secret organization, one that’s entrenched in enough secrets it doesn’t even have a NAME. Virgil finding the place is a feat, so, of course, he can never leave. Like it not, he’s part of this place now.

Casting is basically

Virgil: Was just some random person, now works at Nowhere because they’d probably kill him if he didn’t. Doesn’t have an actual job in the agency, just works what Remy works.

Remy: Technical support/hacker. Keeps the agency a secret and deals with all the online stuff. Goes into the field when needed (hence having an arsenal) but he’s more of a stay-at-home man. Sometimes gets apartments when he needs them, but he’s bad at keeping the company secret, so it’s not often

Roman: Remy’s field partner when he goes out. I don’t have many more details for him except that he and Remy are highkey crushing on each other, which causes problems for the sake that a) Roman thinks Remy and Virgil are together/getting together, b) Virgil thinks Remy and Roman are together/getting together, c) Remy thinks they’re both cute but not interested in him. It’s called a convoluted love triangle except they ALL get together because that’s the only thing I write hscbjch

And,,,,, that’s all I have. Hope you like it shdcfbsjdfcsd

[toothpastecanyon]

A Name From the Mailbox, Chapter 2

Dipper finds out the author's name before Not What He Seems. It's not the person he expected.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

The Gravity Falls Public Library. Dipper didn’t find himself going here as often as he’d thought he would. Sure, there were books, but whoever the librarian was they certainly weren’t stacking them in any kind of system; it was impossible to find anything you were looking for besides dusty magazines heaped up on coffee tables.

But for all the library’s shortcomings, it did have one thing the Shack didn’t. It had computers.

“Is that a dial up sound, Dipper?”

He shrugged at his sister. “Maybe? I dunno what that sounds like.” He sat back. “Wish it’d load faster. Ugh, I swear these things are cursed to be slow or something like that.”

“Oooo, curses!”

“Just need to wait for it to load…” Dipper took out a notebook. “If I can’t have the journal, fine. I don’t need that. I don’t need him. I’ll find it out myself.”

“You’re muttering, bro bro.” Mabel poked his face. “So what’re we looking up, anyway? I thought you said all the websites for magic stuff are ‘unnacurate’ and ‘disturbing’.”

“It’s innacurate actually, Mabel.” He pushed her hand away as the computer finally loaded. “And I’m not looking for Gravity Falls stuff. I’m looking for Stan.”

“What’s he doing on the internet? I don’t think he knows what it is.”

Dipper started typing. “No, but maybe we can find out something about him on there.”

“Ooo, like secrets!”

“Yeah, like secrets.” Dipper made a face as he put in ‘Mystery Shack Gravity Falls’ and got a few sites with mixed reviews. “Oh you gotta look at this, Mabel. Someone wrote, ‘A friend recommended I bring my family here. We spent five minutes inside, and in that time the owner charged an exorbitant entrance fee, scared my children with some horrific taxidermied duck-rat thing, and then made up some fake ‘early exit charge’ when we tried to leave! We are pretty sure he picked our pockets too, but the police in this town are useless. I’m out a wallet and a friend.”

Mabel giggled. “I’m pretty sure Stan has no idea about these! Oh, this one’s from when I was boss! Ahem, ‘The last time I was here an old man was giving the tour, but when we came by the manager appeared to be a young girl. Everything appeared to be slightly destroyed too? When I asked for a refund because part of the roof fell on me, she told me to shut my yap. Other than that, great as always. Love the money bag.” She gave a fist pump. “Aww yes, I got us a five out of five! Let’s read more, this is fun!”

“Actually, Mabel, we’ve gotta keep looking.”

“Awww.”

Dipper tapped on the keyboard. “Okay, I guess the Mystery Shack doesn’t turn up much. How about… just his name?”

He typed that in, and sat back as it loaded.

“Alright, Stan. Let’s see what you’re hiding…”

______________________________________________________________

It was late at night when Stan snuck his way back into the Shack. He opened the front door as quietly as he could, and shut it behind himself, making a face at every creek. He took off his black mask, his leather gloves, and stashed them under the register before moving to the blinds. He kept a close eye on the parking lot as he drew them closed; it didn’t look like he’d been followed.

Ugh. Stan didn’t like messing with the feds, but it wasn’t like anyone else had any radioactive waste handy. He’d scope out the place a few more times, just to be safe… but that was for another night.

With a big sigh, Stan headed over to the vending machine. He raised his arm to input the code, but something told him to look around first. His eye caught on a small darkness on the base of the staircase, and he paused a second before pressing the code for a candy bar. He picked it up, unwrapped it, and munched on it as he headed for the living room.

“Grunkle Stan.”

There it is. He turned on the light.

“Oh, hey Dipper. Having fun standing in the dark like that?”

Dipper had his arms crossed. “You’re out late.”

“Yeah, ’cause I’m old and I do what I want.” He sank into the chair. “What’s up, kid? If you’re gonna ask for your journal back you’re gonna be disappointed.”

“No, that’s not why I’m here.” He pointed to a large stack of papers on the side table. “I found this.”

“Huh? Oh, you didn’t use the copier, did you? Paper’s expensive, kid.”

“No, I printed it out at the library.” He made a face. “It was like twenty dollars. Now look!”

“Ugh, I already sat down, kid. Can’t we- Oof!” He grunted as the pile was dumped in his lap. “Watch it, that’s a lot of paper! You’re gonna have to summarise whatever this is, because I am not-”

“It’s your thesis, Grunkle Stan!”

Grunkle Stan paused, and looked up at Dipper. He looked very, very serious, and he came a step closer.

“Well?”

“Well… well what? Thesis?” Stan tried to stand up, but the papers kept him down. “I don’t know what you mean, Dipper. Seriously, I’ve never seen this before in my life-”

“You wrote it!”

“What?”

“Look!” He grabbed the top page and stabbed a finger at the author line. “Stanford Pines! All summer long you said you didn’t even go to college, but you’ve got a PhD! You wrote a thesis about anomalous sightings in the western United States! Admit it - you are the author!”

Stan found himself shrinking back; he had a bad feeling he wasn’t going to be able to brush this off. “Wh-where’d you even get that from?”

“I found your college online. Apparently they’re still writing about your thesis since it’s the only nationally ranked one in their history.” Dipper clicked his pen. “You’re, you’re a genius, Grunkle Stan! I-I have so many questions, like why didn’t you tell us? Why’d you stop writing the journals? Where are the other two?”

“I… I…” He took a deep breath. He had to get control of this. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, ki-”

“Oh come on-”

“I don’t! Look, there’s obviously been some kind of mix up, it’s not like Stan Pines is a rare name-”

“Already thought of that.” Dipper held up an article. “I found this piece about how you used your grant money to build the Mystery Shack. It’s even got a photo - it’s you.”

It was a gutpunch to see Stanford’s college photo shoved in his face, but he tried to swallow it. “Kid-”

“I don’t understand why you won’t just admit it. I know you don’t want us messing with the supernatural, but all summer long I’ve been reading your journal, trying to solve the mysteries of this town. The author was a huge one - I-I was kind of worried I’d never find out, or I’d find out he was dead or something, but it’s you!” He grinned. “And now I know, we can work together! You don’t have to keep pretending! You can trust me with this!”

Stan looked down at his nephew’s face, and gave a deep sigh. There was no easy way out of this. With a bit of struggle, he hefted the thesis off his lap and onto the floor, then put a hand on Dipper’s shoulder.

“Dipper, listen. I’m not the author.” Stan saw him open his mouth and quickly continued. “I’m not, okay? I know you like your mysteries, but just this once, could you please just take my word on this one?” He made a face. “I don’t want you or your sister getting hurt. So just forget about it, okay?”

Dipper frowned at him, and for a moment Stan didn’t think that was gonna work - it was a long shot, anyway. But then something seemed to click in his mind, and he stepped back.

“Forget…” he said. “Grunkle Stan, do you know about the Society of the Blind Eye?”

“The what?”

“It’s-“ He reached under his arm and rolled his eyes when he realized there was no journal. “Ugh, I’ll draw it.”

He grabbed a paper from the pile and started sketching something out. Stan stood there, a little confused.

“Sounds like a cult. Did you join a cult? Ugh, your folks are gonna kill me.”

“It’s this!” Dipper shoved a paper in his face - a crossed out eye, a symbol Stan remembered seeing somewhere in the journals. “Have you seen this before?”

“Kid-”

“Ugh, that doesn’t prove anything, though. You might’ve forgotten that too.” He clicked his pen, and then took off for the stairs. “I’ll be back!”

“Where do you think you’re going?” Stan called out, but he was already gone. He threw his hands up in the air. “Great. Perfect. Hey, can you come back down and explain what all that was? Dipper?”

No reply. Stan frowned; he made to follow, but his foot caught on the stack of papers. He caught himself on the wall, and turned back to look at the scattered pile. Each page was lit by TV static, stark white in the light, and pitch black in the shadows. He narrowed his eyes at that picture of Stanford, that stupid thesis.

“Fine.” He gave the mess a kick and stalked into the gift shop. “Fine.”

Dipper wasn’t going to stumble into this so close to the finish line. He’d worked too hard for too long. If the kid was so intent on figuring him out, he’d just have to work faster.

He gave a long look around before entering the code. The venting machine swung open with a puff of air, and he shut it quickly behind him before marching down the steps.

No more scoping out. It was time to finish the job.

[violet-amet]

jotting down something related to cancer and myself. something ive taken from a website somewhere, that may or may not be valid, but hits a lot of marks from what ive dealt with recently. here we go.

((With your treatment completed, you'll likely see your cancer care team less often. Though you, your friends and your family are all eager to return to a more normal life, it can be scary to leave the protective cocoon of doctors and nurses who supported you through treatment.

Everything you're feeling right now is normal for cancer survivors. Recovering from cancer treatment isn't just about your body — it's also about healing your mind.

Take time to acknowledge the fear, grief and loneliness you're feeling right now. Then take steps to understand why you feel these emotions and what you can do about them. -- taken from Mayo Clinic.))

My last chemotherapy session was around May 2018, so I’ll hit that third year mark very soon, which means I’m halfway through recovering. In a sense, I’m not a survivor yet, unless I hit that five year mark, but between now and then, I’m trying to adjust to a certain sense of normality that I’ve never felt before. In short, I’m a little uncertain, and very scared, of what could happen in the future to me.

((Stress in cancer survivors

When you were diagnosed with cancer, you might have focused completely on your treatment and getting healthy. Now that you've completed treatment, all those projects around the house and the things on your to-do list are competing for your attention. This can make you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

Don't feel you need to do everything at once. Take time for yourself as you establish a new daily routine. Try exercising, talking with other cancer survivors and taking time for activities you enjoy.

Depression and anxiety in cancer survivors

Lingering feelings of sadness and anger can interfere with your daily life. For many people these feelings will dissipate. But for others, these feelings can develop into depression.

Tell your doctor about your feelings. If needed, you can be referred to someone who can help you through talk therapy, medication or both. Early diagnosis and prompt treatment are keys to successfully overcoming depression.

Self-consciousness in cancer survivors

If surgery or other treatment changed your appearance, you might feel self-conscious about your body.

Changes in skin color, weight gain or loss, the loss of a limb, or the placement of an ostomy might make you feel like you'd rather stay home, away from other people. You might withdraw from friends and family. And self-consciousness can strain your relationship with your partner if you don't feel worthy of love or affection.

Take time to grieve. But also learn to focus on the ways cancer has made you a stronger person and realize that you're more than the scars that cancer has left behind. When you're more confident about your appearance, others will feel more comfortable around you.

Loneliness in cancer survivors

You might feel as if others can't understand what you've been through, which makes it hard to relate to other people and can lead to loneliness. Friends and family might be unsure of how to help you, and some people may even be afraid of you because you've had cancer.

Don't deal with loneliness on your own. Consider joining a support group with other cancer survivors who are having the same emotions you are. Contact your local chapter of the American Cancer Society for more information. Or try an online message board for cancer survivors, such as the American Cancer Society's Cancer Survivors Network.))

A lot of these hit the mark pretty close to me, which makes things difficult to manage, but I know I’m not alone.

But sometimes, I can’t help but feel that way.

All in all, I think taking my time to come to terms with what happened to me is the only thing I can do, while managing everything else in between, from finally getting support on finding a job to figuring myself out over time. I mean, the tumor was basically in my uterus, which is what killed it, so that definitely affected my identity and thoughts on my own gender. But, regardless, I’m still me, yknow? Nothing can change that.

Well, not entirely. I think, in a way, I see myself non-binary, but still prefer to use she/her pronouns, because I don’t want to erase something I’ve been embracing for a good portion of my life, which is my womanhood. I don’t have a uterus, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less than a woman, but the traumatic event really shook me up enough to have second thoughts, yknow? At the end of the day, I can only figure that out for myself.

Anyway, I’m getting off point. I just want to say, while I’m sure I’ll get better, the trauma is still difficult to deal with. And while I’m still scared of things, like a relapse or perhaps the disease spreading, given it’s sarcoma related, I pray, and want to work hard, on getting better more ways than one.

Thinking back on it, I remember what a doctor of mine told me, who was a Czech Republican, that if I continue thinking negative thoughts, I’ll only feel worse, and won’t recover well, which is what gave me the strength to power through those negative thoughts. He also mention that fear is a natural reaction, and it can help the body fight as well, but it’s also important to think positive and work on that, because I’ll heal better that way. I got to say, it was definitely helpful, and I don’t want to forget him and the others that worked on my case.

God, I’ve been through a lot, but I’m trying to sort out my feelings somehow, as I’m slowly but surely adjusting to the changes around me. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.(But my depression will slow me down. Ugh.)

[purplesurveys]

1220

The person you had the strongest feelings for dies, do you care?  I imagine so, yeah. I’d check up on her family and help in any way I can, if it’s still welcomed.

Is there something you’re happy about at the moment?  I share this all the time in surveys at this point but I’m just really giddy that it’s a Friday evening hehe. Also, I’m seeing Angela, Hans, and (finally!!!) Reena later! We’ll be going to UP to shoot some photos since Angela and Reena are graduating this year and we wanna take pictures with the sunflowers in the campus before they die out. I also never got to take sunflower photos when I graduated last year, so it will be my chance to do so as well.

Do you want someone dead?  Wow, no.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?  It almost never crosses my mind, honestly.

Have you ever fed or taken care of a stray animal?  I’ve fed many of them before, yup.

What is something you tend to worry about?  Pending deliverables at work, especially ones that are out of my control.

What is something you do that is unhealthy?  Be in front of a screen as soon as I’m awake until the second I turn in.

What is something you do that is good for you?  I’m no longer afraid to prioritize myself when necessary.

What last caused you to force a smile?  Ooh I’m not sure. I haven’t had to do that in a while, which is a good thing. What was the last video game you played? Was it fun?  Probably Mario Kart on the Switch, but it’s been a WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE. Yeah it’s one of my favorite series for a reason.

What is something not many people know about you?  The fact that I’m obsessed with anything classic Hollywood and I’m a big Audrey Hepburn fan. The topic never gets brought up so I don’t really get the chance to say anything about that interest of mine.

What word describes your basic style?  Casual, laidback. I’m more than happy with just a simple t-shirt and denim jeans these days and I think I’m over my jumpsuit/romper phase haha.

Have you ever been told you were going to Hell?  It was referred to/threatened to me, but not directly with these words.

Have you ever wanted to kill yourself?  It was a regular occurrence before.

If yes, what convinced you not to go through with it?  I think overall I was just scared of fucking it up and fucking up my brain for life as a consequence. Also I knew no one was going to take care of Kimi as well as I do, and I would never leave him behind.

Have you ever rejected a guy, only to have him push the issue by asking “why?” and insisting that you just need to get to know him better?  Nope.

Is there something that you believe everyone should do and you can’t believe that some people don’t do it (e.g., recycle or go to the dentist regularly)?  It’s definitely an Asian thing but it will sometimes hurt my chest when I see people wear shoes in their homes.

Regarding the last good choice (healthy choice, kind choice, selfless choice, etc.) you made, what was your real motivation behind it?  I wanted to be kind to myself and finally let go of what had been keeping me from starting to be happy and pleased with where I am and have.

What is something that you have had to practice at to get the hang of it? If you can’t think of anything, that’s okay, what’s something you are currently practicing at and trying to master?  This is such a shallow answer lol but I’ve recently gotten into this rhythm game called Rhythm Hive that I found impossible to master at first, but after weeks of practicing I now breeze through all the songs at their hardest level.

Have you ever gone to the store to buy something, like a video game, when it came out at midnight?  I haven’t done that, but I’ve watched a movie premiere at midnight - for both times the Breaking Dawn movies came out.

Regarding the last novel you read, was there a romance included? If so, was it central to the plot?  Yes and yes.

Have you ever done relaxation meditations or listened to relaxation guides or positive-thinking/healing recordings?  Nope, they don’t really work on me. I have my own outlets that help me relax.

Do you have any interests that are also often shared by children?  Coloring is one. Also animated movies; I never grew out of those.

Is there something that could be a solitary activity but you really only like to do it with other people (e.g., watching movies, playing video games, etc.)? Definitely eating out. I’ve done it a couple of times before by myself and it does feel nice, but I also always can’t help but think it would be a lot more fun and that I would be much happier if I was sharing the experience with someone else.

Are you satisfied with the interior design or decoration in your home? Or do you think it needs a total home makeover?  Ugh god I need to rearrange and upgrade my room STAT. My K-Pop merch are starting to pile up but they’re all currently in just lazy heaps scattered around in my room since I don’t have any shelves or anything to properly display them on.

Is there something that you’d like to own but you can’t find it anywhere? If not, can you a remember a time when you wanted something? Did you ever end up finding it or did you eventually stop wanting it? This is always me with BTS merch...

Who makes you smile the most?  My friends.

What piercings do you want/have?  Just one on each earlobe. I’m not looking to have any more.

What's your favorite website?  Twitter.

Do you own a fish tank with fish?  We never had one, no.

Do you like the movie 300?  I’ve never seen it and will probably never have plans to. It’s not my cup of tea.

Do you pop your knuckles?  When I feel stressed or when my knuckles feel strained, yes.

Do you have Photoshop?  Nope, I have no use for it.

Do you use tinypic or photobucket?  Way back in the day. I’m not even sure if those websites still exist.

What’s your favourite song from the 1980s?  Heaven Is A Place On Earth.

How about the 1990s?  I’m not sure I have one.

Have you won anything recently?  Yeah we played this online game over Google Meets with my co-workers just this afternoon, before clocking out. My team won twice.

How often do you make Excel tables? What for?  Oh everyday. I work on a handful of sheets every single day at work, but I also like making spreadsheets for personal use haha. Right now the one I’m currently super invested in is my tracker for all the merch I’ve been buying so I can keep note of my pending payments and which ones I should already be asking for updates on.

What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild?  Not sure, I’m barely outdoors.

Are you always available or online?  Yup.

Do you have dietary restrictions? Or do you just eat what you like?  No allergies or restrictions.

Do you prefer gold, silver or steel jewelry? Or no jewelry at all? Silver.

Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what?  Not really. I’ve stopped watching Hwarang for now, but I do have plans to come back to it someday. I guess I just haven’t been in a K-drama binge-watching mood lately.

If you dye your hair, do you do it yourself or go to a salon?  I’ve never had my hair dyed.

If you have any, do you like your in-laws? I don’t have any. < Same.

Would it bother you, if your partner had cut contact with their parents?  It depends on the story behind it, but mostly no. How close they are with their family isn’t a priority matter for me.

Have you ever wondered whether you were adopted? All the time, especially as a teenager who wasn’t getting any emotional support at home.

What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe?  When you work on something and expect mediocre results and feedback, but it ends up getting praised instead and you feel all the hard work pay off.

Have you ever grown a berry bush?  Nope.

Have you done something new to your hair recently?  It’s been untouched since the very start of the pandemic. My sister actually suggested that since I had it cut right when the pandemic started, I should wait out till the end of it and see how long it’ll reach. It sounded intriguing enough so now I’m indefinitely growing it out hahaha.

Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? I’m sure I have it, I’ve just never been diagnosed before.

One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have?  Managing to get over a rough breakup quicker than I ever expected to.

What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head?  It was when I was leaving Angela’s house yesterday and an “I love you” to her parents rolled out of my tongue so naturally I almost didn’t notice it; and when they said it back in a heartbeat. It’s when I realized that her parents are really like my second parents and that her house is a second home at this point. My heart was filled the entire drive home.

How often do you have late nights out?  Never because we still have a curfew.

If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive?  I don’t have a choice; it’s the set-up we’re required to live in. I’m pretty productive here at home but then again I don’t have a point of comparison considering I got my first job already in the midst of the pandemic.

If you had the ability to change the weather, what would you change it to right now?  I would like to bring snow to the Philippines.

Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it?  Upgrade my room and invest in shelves and other home decor/interior design stuff that would make the space more comfy and homey. Right now it just looks like a warehouse with my merch piled up in scattered places.

Most disturbing movie you have ever seen?  Eraserhead or I’m Thinking of Ending Things.

Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it?  I have multiple life goals - some of them I’ve achieved, like getting into my dream university and simply getting employed, and some of them I’m still working my way towards, like getting a promotion. Yeah I feel like I’ll achieve my goals someday. I don’t like losing LOL so when I want something I usually put it above everything else.

Have you ever had food poisoning?  Yup.

What are you listening to?  Blue & Grey by BTS.

Do you think there will be a WWIII? I find it inevitable at some point down humanity's future. People are too hateful for it not to eventually. < Yeah, let’s go with this too.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo?  No.

Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would?  Yes. Tbh I never expect anyone to like me so I’ve always been surprised when I hear about someone who does.

In all honesty, can a person be too nice?  Yes, especially if they’re starting to be taken advantage of.

Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you?  No.

Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse?  Any abuse is bad. :/

Do you shop at Sephora for make-up?  Nope.

Zelda: Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time?  Twilight Princess only because I grew up with it and never got to play Ocarina of Time.

Do you own a rosary?  I did - I went to Catholic school. But I lost mine all the time because I didn’t really care for them lol I always had to buy new ones at the school bookstore.

If you were homeless, how would you cope? I don’t know.