#[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz!

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Verdancy (Bassline)

Album: Homestuck Vol. 2 Composer: Kalibration Leitmotifs: Verdancy Characters: Jade Harley

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[garrulousgeologist]

Act 3 =>

 💚💚💚 JADE HARLEY 💚💚💚

Manic pixie dream girl syndrome wouldn’t dare go near this silly girl. She knows what the fuck she’s doing!! 

Becquerel is such a raw name for a dog. No wonder Bec is so fucking powerful. 

Now hang on just one second. Of course I remember Bec has some wildly OP stats and ultimately has an enormous role to play, along with a certain cat of similar description. But with the name and irradiated food I’m piecing subtext together I never did in high school. So like…did someone toss this dog in a vat of radioactive sludge shitty comic book hero style? (I tried to find a gif of that scene from Sky High where the dad goes “Where would we even find a vat of toxic waste?” for wayy too long and couldn’t find one but I’m too lazy to make it myself so pretend I made a cute lil joke and move on).

Seriously though where does this thing originate? Is it ever explained? Don’t answer that.

I do like my knee-jerk reaction that Bec possesses radioactive powers because of the name alone, though, the implications are hilarious. My cats are named Kenma, after the Haikyuu character, and Monkey D Luffy, after the idiot. They reflect their namesakes well. Should have named one Tesla. The unit, not the dude.

While I’m on a brief tangent away from the storyline let me add how deeply I appreciate everyone who helped put together the Unofficial Homestuck Collection! I’m reminded of the work and passion that went into this project once again at the original format and poll statistics can be viewed on the decision for Jade’s symbol on her shirt! Dress..lab coat. Clothing! One of many really cool pieces of early HS fandom interaction I’m infinitely glad isn’t lost.

And getting back to the comic at hand, Jade is a furry who ends up a real anthropomorphic individual and I love that for her.

The 8 ball and cue ball in her chest (of the treasure variety) made me flinch, though. For no particular reason, of course. Why would I even say that?

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! 

Dave would have been an extremely popular vaporwave artist and you know it. He’d have an extremely successful and elaborate lofi channel like lofi girl, steezyasfuck, chill village, etc. (NEW) Explore Remix and Crystalthemums are too fucking good. Especially for a 13 year old!

Jesus fucking christ. This is where she’s getting her information on John? And everyone else? 

[S] MIDNIGHT CREW: ACT 1031

Hello???

[S] Dave: STRIFE.

HELLO???!?!?!?!!?

[S] Jade: Descend.

Is this just going to keep happening?! I say this with somewhat delirious glee, don’t get me wrong this RULES- it’s just all jumbled together. 

…which is a really good description of how I view HS altogether tbh.

Jade: Answer.

HI AGAIN, IDIOT. <3 <3 <3 <3

For most characters in HS that start a shitty kid and end up with an immense amount of growth later on I will state that I give their shitty actions no leniency. A character needs to be shit on for their fuck ups in order to succeed at growth!

However Karkat is an exception. Vriska did nothing wrong? More like Karkat could never do anything bad ever he’s perfect and I love him. He is doing his best!!! He is always doing his best!! He is trying to save everyone all the time!! Ahhhh!!!!

[S] Dave: Abscond.

:(

Whoop, there it is. Ugh. I have a similar relationship with this flash animation as I did playing Undertale for the first time, and honestly I think I have Undertale to thank for my paradigm shift. I was almost completely detached from genuine reaction and evaluation of media in high school and focused almost entirely on reflecting the thoughts and emotions of my peers around me. It didn’t even occur to me, shallow as my views on media were, to genuinely observe Dave’s stubby little sprite and what happens to him in his attempt to flee his Bro’s onslaught. And dude :c Dave gets beat the fuck up. It’s hard to watch, the humor overtones are appreciated to soften the blow so to speak, but it still sucks to think it takes so long for Dave to realize how wrong this dynamic really is, and even longer for him to work through the complicated feelings and thoughts that come along with a realization like that. I digress, I guess.

[S] Rose: Ascend.

Love you Nanaquin <3 

Grist, Shale, Tar, and Mercury. I want to parse this out, why these materials specifically? My initial curiosity comes from being a geologist. Tar and shale form together naturally. In many shale formations there are also mercury deposits, usually pointed out on geological survey websites for public safety reasons (at least in the U.S. where I live this is commonplace). While all those things make sense together to me, I don’t understand why they are being used in the first place. And grist is just a byproduct of milling grain, right?

Matter that forms the basis of a story or analysis. A building block material for a concept. That makes way more sense. I’m pretty sure I heard this definition from Tex Talks on youtube first, who has a series of video essays on Homestuck processes and mechanics. If you haven’t seen them I recommend those videos, they are the kind of in-depth that I like to pretend I could go in conversation about HS, as long as you don’t mind the topics being chosen based purely on individual interest. I certainly don’t. 

Anyway grist is a conceptual building block, used to build concepts through the alchemiter and general server side shenanigans. This makes a lot of sense to me having seen an enormous amount of grist being needed for more complicated but physically small items, while very little is needed to build an entire house.

What about the other materials? I don’t know! I did some research and dug around and honestly I don’t get it. Please shoot me a message if you’ve heard it explained in a forum, blog or video essay somewhere, I’m really interested to know if anyone else has found more answers than me! Especially if it pertains to something revealed later in the comic that I haven’t gotten to yet

Liberty. Reason. Justice. Civility. Edification. Perfection.

MAIL.

[S] Strife!!!

Uhh sooo ummm is Jade okay? *gets adoption papers ready*

I guess I straight up forgot how she talks to her gpa. I remembered that he was, like, stuffed. But all the antics, forgot about that. He died during her lifetime right? She remembers him and how he was and this is her coping with all that? Did she,, stuff him herself? Preserve him? Hm.

Moving on, back to PM.

WORM!!

Back to Rose.

KITTEN!!

Okay so they’re setting up the idea that Mamalonde’s lab is the same we’re seeing the Mayor and PM interact with later, got it. Way easier to comprehend this time around vs. as a small teen.

Uncooperative?

Right, of course. I knew that, as I always do. This was just for you.

[S] Rose: Fast forward to now.

BABY ROSE <3 And same face as surprised Dave! Ugghh she’s so cute. What does Jaspers tell her?? We must find out at some point but I have absolute zero recollection of this as a plot point. I’ll keep an eye out!!

Aah, chorale for Jaspers. I remember this meme’d, I also remember playing it for my cat to get a reaction. She did not react.

Skipping ahead some more, John is having his first Father Crisis [dad is not a street performing clown but a boring business man?? Who could have guessed that??]

No shade to Dad though, obviously. Dude kicks ass.

We also briefly see Jade wandering out to feed Bec if the creechure so deems to be found and fed with aforementioned radioactive food. So does a dog(?) with radioactive powers eat radioactive food to fuel it’s life force of radioactivity? Is that the logic we’re working with? I’m not knocking it I just want to be sure that’s…that’s the line of thought. Andrew Hussie. Genius.

Ending it here because we’re got Jack Noir coming up and I want to dedicate a good amount of thought to that. Once again, I have a few posts queued still, so expect another one a week from today. Ily!

tl;dr

Jade Harley = Furry and I support her. Appreciation of Dave’s artistic ability some more. Karkat blocked by Jade, Kells being protective of Dave. Discussion of grist use and origin. PM. Jade’s Grandpa. Baby Rose.

[29pageshomestuckeveryday]

Homestuck, page 830

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz!

You open the FRESHJAMZ MEDIA PLAYER and add Dave's remix to the playlist.

Songs used in this page: Showtime Remix by Gabe Nezovic, Aggrieve Remix by Gabe Nezovic, Verdancy (Bassline) by Kalibration, Potential Verdancy by Robert J! Lake, Ohgodwhat by Nick Smalley, Ohgodwhat Remix by Michael Guy bowman, Rediscover Fusion by BurnedKirby, Crystalanthemums by Alexander Rosetti, and Explore Remix by Gabe Nezovic

Song commentary for Ohgodwhat:

Nick Smalley:

WELL

It was 2008 and I was a silly little boy and thought ORGMaker was good-ass music program, so I decided to make a song in it. Half an hour later forged this booger of a song. Seriously. It took half an hour to make this. Then I saw that THE HUSS posted something about a Problem Sleuth opening? So I was like damn that’s bananas I’ll show him up! (wow look at this nerd thinking he can actually make music)

I sent it to his email and like a day later he sent one back asking about the music team. FLATTERING, IT WAS. So I was like sure sign me up g homey dog slice foo

And that’s the story of how I got on the music team.

Oh wait. You just wanted Ohgodwhat.

(ps that’s what it was called when i made it too)

Song commentary for Crystalanthemums:

Alexander Rosetti:

I composed this one intending it to be the theme of Jade's land. This is the reason Jit has gone on the record as saying Crystamenthequins was intended to accompany Jade's island being destroyed/her entering her land (I'm pretty sure that's how he described it) was because of this song. It's actually a really simple tune, and I've wanted to expand on it for ages but never got around to it. The entire piece consists of the same simple chord progression, but it's a good, if played out, progression. That and the beautiful harmonies one is guaranteed to find with it is why I think this is one of my more popular songs. It's not as well-composed as I'd like it to be, but it is definitely catchy. And Radiation was responsible for the name, jokingly calling it "crystalanthemums" after I described it sound like a crystalline flower. I decided that was as good a name as any, and I've had the pleasure of infecting its two remixes with such silly-sounding titles.

Link to storyboards for this page: http://readmspa.org/storyboards/00830.swf.html

Author commentary: With the (playable!) FRESHJAMZ playlist, we are provided with the implication that these are all songs produced by the kids collaboratively. Their icons indicate who was involved with the songs. Just another sign earlier in the story that these kids have some musical talent and this is the sort of thing they do with their spare time. This is one of those things that starts getting buried as we move along. For instance, we never quite get to see God Tier Jade picking up the old bass and rocking out. Which is a shame.

[thegempage]

working on my homestuck fanfic while a [s] page plays on my homestuck stream, now that's multitasking!

[hmstckpanels]

> [S] Jade: Open FreshJamz!

[readingclubstuck]

Section 8 image descriptions

Page descriptions for all pages in section 8 with flashing images! Trigger guide is [link: here]!

2662: Wake up!

The cursor clicks on the girl a couple of times, then clicks and tries to move her around. She flashes red every time the cursor interacts with her.

Narration: You try to roust Farmstink from her slumber, but she is really down for the count!

It looks like she is holding some sort of NOTE.

2663: Retrieve arms from...

The girl’s arms flash red.

Narration: THEY’RE RIGHT THERE.

IN PLAIN SIGHT.

LOOK, THEY ARE FLASHING RED.

2664: Drop pumpkin on Farmstink. 

The cursor grabs the pumpkin, drags it up above the girl, and lets it go. It falls almost on top of her, but before it hits her head, the screen flashes and the pumpkin disappears in a green circle and the word “-IFY”.

Narration: What pumpkin?

You see no pumpkin, and frankly it is hard to imagine there ever was a pumpkin, in plain sight or otherwise.

Anyway, that would be a really terrible thing to do to poor, sweet Farmstink.

2685: ==>

The flute goes into the first captchalogue card, then the screen fades into a whole screen of purple captchalogue cards, 3x6. The image of the flute flashes on various cards, then all the cards flash into a question mark.

Narration: You set your modus to MEMORY, and captchalogue the FLUTE. You allot 9 cards to the modus from your deck, since that will be more than enough for your needs at the moment. The modus grabs 9 more cards for matching purposes.

The FLUTE is split up on two blank cards, and mixed randomly into the grid. To retrieve the item you must first pick one card, and then pick its matching card.

For the typical sylladexer this modus presents a frustrating guessing game and a lot of wasted time on mismatching. But you like it because you seem to have a knack for always guessing right on the first try!

Narration: Modus fun aside, you feel it is impossible to have too many fresh fruits and vegetables on hand.

2686: Jade: Go upstairs to bedroom.

Jade stands on a pad between the stairs, bearing the alchemical symbol of triangles we have seen before. There is a green flash almost like a flame, and then Jade disappears.

Narration: You almost never use the stairs.

2687: ==>

Jade appears on a pad in a flash of green. There are stairs above her and below, and a metal fridge-like apparatus with an atom symbol on it. On top of this apparatus are four metal spires with red orbs on top.

Narration: You TRANSPORTALIZE upstairs. Just above is your room.

2695: Jade: Captchalogue nearest Squiddles doll and hug it.

A pink and blue squiddle draw toward each other and meet by the bellies, getting their tentacles tangled up in each other. The words “TANGLE BUDDIES!” flash. Jade claps her hands.

Narration: Just before you can grab one, the powerful ELECTROMAGNETS concealed in their underbellies become activated, and two of them get all tangled up with each other playfully.

2706: Jade: Captchalogue refrigerator.

Jade captchalogues the COOKALIZER and REFRIGERATOR, which expels the flute, which flips out of the first card in the deck. All the items flash in the 3x6 grid of cards.

Narration: You take the REFRIGERATOR.

You might as well grab the COOKALIZER too. No portable kitchen is complete without it.

You take your LUNCHTOP too, because obviously you’re going to be using that pretty soon.

2725: Jade: Get down to business.

The small box inside Jade’s lunchtop with a few alchemical-looking overlapping squares creates a little yellowish flash of what looks like flame, and then a 3d image that looks like a gear floats up, spinning, and flashes different colors and sizes. The entire room flashes green and then a background appears of a dragon, then some spacey stuff overlayed over it and more gears all around. A holographic keyboard is projected out of the grey box and several applications float around Jade, such as Echidna the web browswer, FRESHJAMZ! the music app, and of course Pesterchum. There is a disembodied arm in the image.

2726: Jade: Activate Pesterchum. 

Jade opens the Pesterchum application by waving her fingers in the air. The emoticons float all over the screen, then organize themselves into the screen, which is taken up by ‘Pesterchum Enamel (Much shinier!)’ There are more emotions on this version than just four shades of happiness and rancorous, which is less funny if you ask me, but whatever. The Chumroll lists John, online, Rose, offline, and Dave, who has sent a message. Below that, interestingly, is the Trollslum, denoted by a rancorous face, which lists various usernames. Only CarcinoGeneticist is online.

Narration: Hey look, John is online! Hooray!

Also it looks like Dave pestered you about something yesterday but you missed it.

2733: [S] MIDNIGHT CREW: ACT 1031

A large machine made mostly of gears with a red pair of stage curtains in the middle sits in the middle of the screen, with the sky as the background. It has two protruding symbols, a sun and a crescent moon, which flip in position, and the sky background turns from day to night.

We zoom in on the moon symbol, which lights up yellow, and pan down the streets of a city, then to a manhole and, beneath it, the Midnight Crew gathered around a table, each with a card in front of them and the plans in the middle of the table (with a hole cut in the center).

In turn each reaches for their card and holds it up (an ace in their respective suits) and their names flash as the card turns into a weapon—Diamonds Droog, Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Spades Slick. Each weapon seems suitable for beating.

A CASINO sign flashes, with each suit symbol around it; then, flames, and a few green characters with numbers on their hats appear, labelled The Felt. We see Spades beating the 1 member with his weapon in front of a safe, while 4 and Clubs look on. Then a shot of 15 looming with a background of flames; then Diamonds shooting a cowering 2 with two assault rifles. 3 slowly comes up behind Diamonds and he turns and beats 3 with a cue stick while 2 escapes.

We see a club with all the members of the Midnight Crew playing instruments, while the Problem Sleuth crew dances. The flash finishes with a spade bearing the words Midnight Crew and shiny blood spatters around it.

[S] Dave: STRIFE.

Dave squats with his katana on the roof, the sky still burning red behind him. A menu appears with options: in green, >AGGRIEVE and >AGGRESS; in blue, >ABJURE and >ABSTAIN; in yellow, >ABUSE and >ACCUSE; and in red, >ASSAIL and >ASSAULT. They flash for a moment, then are sliced in half by Bro, who then turns toward Dave, and then flashsteps away and leaves Cal sitting across from Dave. The music starts, with the text ROUND 1, then “STRIFE!”

Cal’s head nods, moved by Bro as he flashsteps back and forth across the screen. The picture zooms in on Dave and he flips in the air, striking down with his sword, but Cal disappears and appears on the other side of the screen, upright; Dave rushes at Cal but he appears to duck onto the floor, and appears behind Dave, catching him by surprise.

Cal appears behind him and nudges Dave, who turns around and attacks, missing again. When Dave strikes Cal goes to the left of the screen, apparently chattering with his mouth and then kicking Dave in the head to the other edge of the screen, until Dave rolls under him to the left; Cal plays dead on the right.

The same kind of thing goes on for a while; at one point Bro puts Cal on Dave’s head and Dave flails around, then waves his katana at a Cal who has already disappeared. Cal appears and then knocks Dave over; Dave jumps at Cal and we see Bro in slow motion holding Cal out before making him kick Dave over. The flash ends with Cal on top of Dave, Bro dashing from side to side and manipulating him to flail his legs on top of Dave, with no end in sight.

2743: [S] Jade: Descend. 

Jade stands in the room with the safe, then the image zooms in on a blue reminder on her pinky finger. If clicked, the screen pixellates and switches to a Crude Ogre holding Sassacre’s text. John stands between it and another ogre, and the word “STRIFE!” appears. John slams the pogo hammer back and forth with BOING until a green background with slimers appears, then flips toward the ogre on the right, which deflects with the text—a picture of Sassacre and the word ‘Sassacre’ appear.

John flies into the other ogre and bounces off, then hits the ground. The ogre on the right hits him with the text, then the ogre on the left swings the tire swing and catches John in it, hitting him to the floor a few times, then swings him around in the air faster and faster. It swings John down into the other ogre’s Sassacre text, and John goes flying, up above and then off the roof, and down onto a bed provided by Nannasprite. His health vial is very low, but she heals him. John sits up, shakes his head, pulls out his pogo hammer, and then starts the process all over again, swinging the hammer from side to side between the ogres.

Narration: Try as you might, you can't stop your mind from drifting to the fate of your friends. You dwell on a particular configuration of REMINDERS on your finger.

2747: ==>

Rose stands bathed in green flashing light, casting a long shadow behind her. In that direction is a door with a sign above marked EXIT, and a much larger sign above that with a large green SN on it. In the lower curve of the S is a spirograph.

Narration: You enter the LABORATORY.

2748: Rose: Look for mad scientists.

Rose walks on a path. There are many small green boxes, much like Jade’s grey boxes, with flashing lights on top, what appear to be small outlets, and lock symbols in the corner. There is what appears to be a control panel facing Rose so that we see it from the back.

Narration: There are no scientists to be found, mad or otherwise. Or anyone for that matter. The lab appears to be deserted.

There is a KIOSK though.

2749: ==>

The page zooms out to show Rose standing at the beginning of a path, which shows many more boxes, in giant squares of lighter and darker green.

2750: ==>

The page zooms out even more to show even more boxes. Rose is dwarfed by the size of the grid. Two paths, one of which Rose is standing on, intersect at the center of the grid, which has a green circle on the ground.

Narration: It looks like the kiosk monitors the lab’s enormous HUBGRID.

2752: Jade: Proceed.

Jade descends more stairs into a room mostly populated with suits of armor, including an Iron Man suit, as well as more animal trophies. Flickering orange light shines in from the hallways.

Narration: You hop down a level.

Granddad also likes to accumulate VALIANT KNIGHTS from his travels. These are pretty cool, you guess.

2753: Jade: Keep going.

Jade makes a face as she is faced with one of those fake mummified monkey-mermaids.

This room, with flickering pink light shining in, is full of knights, big game trophies, AND horrible mummies.

Oh yeah. How could you forget about his stash of DECREPIT MUMMIES.

God you hate these things.

2754: Jade: Don't stop.

A stuffed wolf and bear are crammed into a room also containing a sarcophagus and vintage pictures of women tinted blue. Light blue light flickers on the walls.

Jade stands among more of these blue portraits and trophies with an o: face.

2755: ==>

A zoomed-out picture of the same thing.

Narration: This is your grandfather’s collection of what he refers to as his BEAUTIES. No lovely lady will be fit for his collection unless her portrait has spent at least 20 years bleaching in the front window of a beauty parlor, a sort of establishment he’s plundered no less frequently than ancient tombs.

You guess they were sort of like your sisters while growing up, and you were always encouraged to look up to them. They are all awfully pretty ladies you suppose, but it was always hard to get as excited about them as grandpa.

“Jade, study hard and keep your rifle at the ready. When adventure summons, I know you will rise to the task and take your rightful place among the DAUGHTERS OF ECLECTICA.”

That old coot sure is a bag of wind!

2757: ==>

Jade stands at the foot of the stairs making a DX face. Torches around the room flicker in fire. There is a huge snake-like creature sitting with its base on the transportalizer and the rest of its body outside the room. The creature has a blank :0 face, with fangs. The top part of its body is white, presumably human, and the rest of it is green, like a naga. There is a mysterious splotch of oil in the top corner of the image.

Narration: You reach the ground level. This is the stupid thing blocking the transportalizer. It is unspeakably hideous.

Down the southeast hall is the GRAND FOYER. You’ll have to cross through it to leave the house.

2758: ==>

Jade’s LUNCHTOP sits at her feet, with a speech bubble coming out of it with “…” in it. Two torches flicker on either side of her, and the large monster is behind her.

Narration: Looks like someone’s pestering you.

Even though you thought you logged off… ?

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Potential Verdancy

Album: Homestuck Vol. 1-4 Composer: Robert J! Lake Leitmotifs: Verdancy Characters: Jade Harley

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[S] Investigate (From a since-deleted MSPFA)

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Crystalanthemums

Album: Homestuck Vol. 5 Composer: Alex Rosetti Leitmotifs: Crystal Characters: Dave Strider, Jade Harley

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[S] Jeff: Return. (From MSPFA "Sburb: Refresh")

[S] ==> (From MSPFA "Homestuck")

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Explore Remix

Album: Homestuck Vol. 3 Composer: Gabriel Nezovik Leitmotifs: Explore Characters: Jade Harley, Dave Strider

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[S] Investigators: Descend (From MSPFA "Homestuck")

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Ohgodwhat

Album: Homestuck Vol. 3 Composer: Nick Smalley Leitmotifs: Ohgodwhat Characters: Jade Harley

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Aggrieve Remix

Album: Homestuck Vol. 2 Composer: Gabriel Nezovik Leitmotifs: Aggrieve Characters: Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Showtime Remix

Album: Homestuck Vol. 2 Composer: Gabriel Nezovik Leitmotifs: Showtime Characters: June Egbert, Dave Strider

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Rediscover Fusion

Album: Homestuck Vol. 3 Composer: BurnedKirby Leitmotifs: Rediscover Fusion Characters: Dave Strider

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz! (Flash Broken)

[homestuck-music-tournament]

Ohgodwhat Remix

Album: Homestuck Vol. 3 Composers: Michael Guy Bowman Leitmotifs: Ohgodwhat Characters: Jade Harley

You may know this from:

[S] Jade: Open FreshJamz!

[S] Cheral: Continue climb (From MSPFA "Synodic Reboot")