#[REDACTED] being a tumblr sexyman Tumblr posts

[datcravat]

If ghost trick were played by enough people that someday it was normal etiquette to talk freely with spoilers about it online, that would be a dream come true. The memes would be insane

[redwinterroses]

some of y'all seem to be unaware of exactly what constitutes a tumblr sexyman so please allow someone who has been around since before Nightvale aired attempt to clarify:

a tumblr sexyman is not sexy* by default/in canon. a tumblr sexyman is only sexy because they have been so delightfully misrepresented by fandom that they have come to be portrayed as sexy with no direct canon support.

(*"sexy" here meaning "conventionally attractive and/or cool." The population of this site has very wide and varied ideas about what sexy actually is. this is why we have tumblr sexymen.)

If in the source material they:

are a bit of a wet cat, a bit of a derp

if they do things like put their green-screened facecam on a bit of lime glass in the hotbar

or mute so they can panic without other people hearing and say things like "...ah ha. so." about twelve times per episode

or open their episodes with an "awwwwww yeeeaaaah" and a giggle because even they can't believe they're that derpy

or ramble on and on about tomatoes and their adorable two-year-old while being just the chillest Guy Ever

or literally call themselves a spoon on a regular basis -- fully justified in doing so

and yet all the fanart of them is "cool eldritch being in neon shades" or "mysterious ninja who can outsmart you every time," or "deep sea monster creature with godlike powers" or "scary and hot shirtless monster cyborg man" or "suave possible vampire" --

that is a character that has been sexymanified.

[starlitangels]

It’s the final countdown match-up!

Woohoo! We made it to the end! Thanks everyone for voting and having fun with me on this silly little thing!

The funniest thing about this has been every time a Gavin match came up there were people being like “I think Gavin is legally obligated to win the whole thing” and then every time a Milo match came up people were like “Milo is the sexiest of all he’s gonna win”

So make sure to vote when the poll goes live in a few minutes! I’m guessing this is gonna be a close one

Let’s see who the Redacted Tumblr Sexyman 2023 is!

[multi-lefaiye]

ok here we go

[vynsauce]

ranking the boys based on how likely they can become a tumblr sexyman

 first let’s get all the sexyman traits they all share out of the way

- pale

- skinny

- man

now on to the ranking (from most to less)

1. vyn richter

he’s mysterious, well-dressed, & probably the most controversial lead. i can see him having a lot of angst potential or people making shit up about him for angst potential. i think his manipulative behavior adds some tumblr sexypoints. perhaps a little unhinged? also he’s probably bisexual cause he literally named his medical institution the ship name between him & another man

2. artem wing

stoic, well-dressed, & cause he’s the eldest & seemingly most responsible of the cast, can be considered a DILF &/or father figure. may or may not have mommy & daddy issues. something that takes away some tumblr sexypoints is that it seems he has his life too together & this site only likes the most unhinged of men

3. luke pearce

im sorry. luke is a handsome, wonderful man, but i think the only tumblr sexypoints he has so far are angst from [REDACTED PERSONAL STORY SPOILERS], his cool detective skills, & really nothing else. he’s too sweet for the likes of tumblr

4. marius von hagen

listen. listen he’s literally just some college student art nerd. he’s not well-dressed nor poorly-dressed. he’s not too mysterious nor unhinged. he may be a bit of a chaos funnyman but that’s just cause he’s 21 & has a lot of money. he’s being tutored by the same guy who’s probably fucking his brother. could tumblr’s punching bag at best for being a billionaire