#[Behind the Musings]

[hana-bobo-finch]

leif,,

[butchtateandtackle]

never seen before hidden journal page from when ford was in college

[psychopomp-namine]

liu xiao is kind of a pathetic loser isn't he. I say this with love. I hope he keeps being like this. yeah sure you can play 5D chess but you can't even get xia fei to like you. smh you're not that cool liu xiao.

[cruel-hiraeth]

nagi is so immune to caring about what others think that he says and does whatever he wants to you whenever he wants to

[mary34blog]

Out of all the AveMuji girlies I was always most invested in wtf Umiri's deal was out of them cause like... I had legit no idea what direction they end up taking with her.

With the others you could make a pretty decent guess about where it goes: Like Mutsumi DID surprise was unexpected to be sure, (mostly because I didn't think they would actually put that in a Bandori season) but even with her I had a decent image of her character trajectory. (Some of which I ended up guessing correctly.) And lord knows the entire creative team likes to hype the hell out of the incoming Uika Twist so I knew going in that whatever happens with her it's gonna be A Doozy in some way.

And then. There is this fuck ass bassist right here. She's in thirty gods damned bands. Thirty. What. Even if most of them barely active or dies quickly mfer that's still a lotta work. She's calm and proffesional. She's a snarky jester who likes to annoy Taki. She's making Higurashi faces in the OP for some reason. She looks like a terrified mouse in one shot of the same OP. While everyone and their grandma was busy watching Uika Misumi with baited breath I was obsessing over this funky little idiot. Sasaki Rico told us there was a bomb under the table but I only cared about why the guy stage right to the table is Like That.

And then. AND THEN. This episode is like: Umiri Yahata is like that because she's still upset about her first band she was in (that judging by their appearance in the flashback was founded in elementary school/early middle school at best) ditched her on the day of their performance. Also she goes on retail therapy after her last girlband ex refuses to text her back and dumps her tragic backstory on her ex coworker. She also leaves the bill to said coworker btw. And know is trying to get the band together while using their former rhythm guitarist's alter for her own ends all the while being framed like a sinister supervillain, right after we spent half an episode establishing her as the ultimate failgirl. Which somehow makes her look an even bigger failgirl/complimentary /affectionate. Also she sustains herself on a diet of protein supplements and vending machine drinks.

And. I. Love. Every. Second. of this fuckery. So so much. Umiri Yahata you are the woman of all time, I hope you get worse/affectionate

[longlivethewildernessyet]

"The cycle must end" and the cycle is going from being desperate for safety and anonymity in an industry that seeks to tear you apart for profit and encourages problematic parasocial relationships in fans, to being desperate to not be forgotten and to get your music and your voice out there and to continue creating despite not always being able to give people what they want from you.

"The cycle must end," and the cycle is going from being grateful for where fame has brought you and your art, to despairing at where fame has taken you and your art.

"The cycle must end," and the cycle is loving what you create but doubting who you are to the point of doubting your own art.

"The cycle must end," and the cycle is being a performer who sometimes cannot perform anymore but wants to nonetheless— and feels the pressure to nonetheless.

[tangents-within-tangents]

Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones

Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones

Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.

The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire

And Echo as a soldier of the Republic

But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him

Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose

Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers

And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose

"A ship in port is a safer one"

"but it's not the reason it was made"

"So forgive me if I wander off"

"And forgive me more if I just stay"

Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies

(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)

[marztapatan]

Art i did for my mootie 💙💙 Omega with their horrorbrew Parasite. Their ship name is bio terrorists.

[majestativa]

Madame Li.

[my-t4t-romance]

pro tip for watching a haunting in venice: being in a theater that's inexplicably empty increases the creep factor by like 20%

[linkons-most-wanted]

Magnum Opus - Timeline thoughts

I had a really interesting time deciding where I wanted to place Magnum Opus in their overall relationship timeline. It's a summer memory, where Night of Secrecy is a winter one.

I think the most straightforward interpretation is that, due to the note about Sylus sleeping on the couch/floor, it takes place before Night of Secrecy.

But I really think it can work both ways. Because Sylus remembers her past life and is much more upfront about it than Xavier, there's a thread you can pull in their relationship of things sort of happening "out of order". For example, he calls her his beloved/lover in Grasslands Romance while MC is just warming up to him. We also get surprisingly few on-screen/-page kisses given the palpable sexual tension.

Magnum Opus starts on this note of them not quite saying things outright and preferring to instead leave "marks" and "traces" in each others' lives. Emotionally, for me this fits better after Night of Secrecy because there's still that sense of being indirect, of her asserting herself more into his life. She invites herself along on a dangerous mission, which I interpret as an "earlier" milestone than what we see in Magnum Opus, where they're trying to figure out what it looks like to see each other just-because.

Given Sylus's generally frequent sincere expressions of care, it doesn't strike me as unusual that they'd have sex for the first time before actually figuring out what "boyfriend"/"girlfriend" looks like in their lives.

And then you really get to play with these ideas of restraint and autonomy in their dynamic--how does having slept together change their dynamic? How doesn't it change? How are they navigating the layers of teasing and sincerity in their relationship when it comes to physical intimacy?

That's largely why this Magnum Opus fic ended up being a novelette vs. some fun and indulgent camping sex--these were really interesting ideas to explore while considering Night of Secrecy to have already happened.

It's been especially interesting to work through some of the hesitations that MC might have around being more assertive, and her implicit expectations that Sylus will initiate things, even after saying "a hunter isn't passive" in Night of Secrecy. Humans are often contradictory in this way, having moments of courage followed by stepping back into old patterns, and that's really what sold me on putting Magnum Opus after Night of Secrecy.

There's also an option to think of things like the Touring in Love and Lunar New Year memories as happening either before or after Magnum Opus. If you place them before MO, then you have this idea of them being "special events" and therefore more clear-cut than a just-because date, giving room to have that be a thing that develops separately. A point in support of this is that in those memories we still see Sylus sort of down-playing asking MC out--if I remember correctly, their Touring in Love memory starts with the running into each other.

Alternatively, I think it's just as valid to see those moments as being after MO and reflecting this sort of "new normal" they're adjusting to in terms of being more clear that they want to spend time with each other, and it's easier to do so around special days/events.

As you progress through the affinity unlocks in the "Darling" level, you start to see them check in with each other more and more frequently--Sylus programming Mephisto to be upset if he doesn't see her every day, him calling just to hear her voice, and then eventually them establishing a daily check-in.

So, I like the idea that they both find it a lot easier to spend a holiday with each other than to get to the level of vulnerability required to say, "I want to see you every day, I miss you." And in my interpretation, Magnum Opus is the beginning of them working out how to say that.

Endlessly grateful to the writers for giving us such nuanced, compelling emotional moments to explore. 🥰

[expectiations]

The Husbands of River Song is not and has never been about the Eleventh Doctor being a deadbeat, distant husband (gross mischaracterization by the way) and the Twelfth Doctor being the "better, more mature, affectionate" husband.

It was about River Song. It was about River and how the events in Manhattan took such a toll on her. It was about letting us see River dealing with grief the way The Snowmen showed us how the Doctor coped after losing believing he had used up all his time with River.

Looking at THORS now with The Ruby's Curse in mind, I get the instinct (for lack of a word that I cannot remember) that the Manhattan incident Blue Roach read from River's diary was not the Manhattan episode that we saw in series 7.

On that note, I'd also like to bring up the fact that the Doctor grounds River and River grounds the Doctor. As Tree talked about in one of her tags, River's empathy is more cognitive than emotional and after musing on it for a bit – considering that the Doctor can no longer go to Manhattan (which may have changed in later series but I wouldn't know at the moment because I have yet to overcome series 7b) and that River does spend time with her parents in Manhattan post-TATM, would the latest Manhattan incident in River's diary be the funeral for Amy? Amy's death? Perhaps even Anthony's? I mean, we already know Rory died five years earlier than Amy. So, knowing how deep River's love for her mother is, it's not too farfetched to say that River spent that time with them. River was by their bedsides as they drew their last breath.

Then Rory's gone, Amy's gone, Anthony's gone. Where does that leave River? Where is the Doctor? (sulking on a cloud on top of Victorian London? trying to figure out the mystery of his newest companion? all while constantly mentioning a certain Professor Song who actually turns out to be his dearly sort of departed absolutely beloved wife?)

Without her parents (and her husband) to ground her, she goes on this maddened, grieving space Robin Hood spree. She seeks fun to fill in the void and takes up marriage as a hobby/side quest. Does she look for the Doctor? Perhaps. Yes, actually. Considering she crashed her latest sort-of-husband's ship onto a planet where she purported the TARDIS to be.

But... she's stealing the TARDIS. She could have just called the Doctor, yeah? So, she doesn't want the Doctor to know then. Well... yeah, considering she has two sort-of-husbands in hand.

So, River would just have gone on from one space Robin Hood spree to the next had the TARDIS not sort-of-stranded herself on Mendorax Dellora to make sure her Water stopped being stubborn and reconcile(?) with her Thief?

Also taking note of how River has read stories about them and knows that Darillium is purported to be their last night together (I could also bring up the fact that this is why I find it easy to digest the "River meeting regenerations of the Doctor younger than the Tenth Doctor makes sense and doesn't break cannon nor ruin SITL/FOTD" but that would take a whole other post). Does this River believe her time with the Eleventh Doctor has ended? The same way series 7b Eleven believed his time with older versions of River has ended? Is this all part of some grand fuckup in communication all thanks to their tangled timelines?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But has River not just been running from her family's death? Has River been running from her supposed last night with the Doctor?

"But River doesn't run." Oh yes. Yes, she does. She knows when to stand her ground. She knows when to charge. And she knows when to run.

"That's out of character for her." No, it's not. She's not invincible. She's this well trained assassin, yes. But invincible? No.

Invincible from the tendency to be blinded by their emotions? Obviously not.

River lies. And River runs.

She is not afraid of her death. She is afraid of the day when her husband, her Doctor, looks into her eyes and looks right through her. And it shouldn't kill her but it does. It did.

So she ran and ran until her bigger-on-the-inside Mum gently reached out and put her back together with the only person left who could ground her. Who she didn't recognize at first but still fell in love with (and would have loved even if he hadn't been revealed to be her actual, long missing husband). Who finally found out their last night wasn't just any night – it was a twenty-four year long last night. Who finally gave her a breather from all the running she'd been doing.

And oh what a night that was (it was the talk of the universe).

[a-perfect-parisian-day]

Anna Karina on the set of Alphaville, 1965

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

that moment when I realize I made Hyapollo into an acespec metaphor and Daphpollo into an arospec one :0

[deathlesssaints]

vinnie hacker

(c) deathless saints.