#[[ my Morty can barely understand what's going on ]]

[countlessrealities]

Send me ‡ for my character's reaction to yours climbing into bed with mine || Accepting !

@advnterccs sent: ‡ { To your Morty from my Morty ! }

It took Morty a moment to realise that something had shifted, and quite literally too. He was already half asleep when it happened, his consciousness heavy with exhaustion and with the desire to pass out and forget about having to exist for a few hours.

That day had been brutal, even more than hard adventures usually got. Morty had known that he would have been in for a rough time, but as it too often happened, things had gotten out of hand. By the time the whole mess was trudging towards it longed-for conclusion, the boy had been moving automatically, his mind too drenched in exhaustion to register what was happening, and muscle memory taking over completely.

The fact that Rick had been almost as knackered by the time he had driven them back home spoke in volumes of what a shitty time they had had. Hopefully the stuff they had gotten would prove to be worth the trouble.

Once he finally registered that he was no longer alone on the mattress, his first reaction was to groan in displeasure. The assumption he made was that the other person had to be Rick, probably drunk off his ass. If that had been true, it would have meant no sleep at all. It didn't matter if the man tried to pull him out of bed or just started to ramble in his ear, both things would have prevented the boy from getting his much needed rest.

Before he could let out a verbal protest, however, he realised that the form that was snuggling next to him didn't fit the scientist. It was too short, didn't stink of alcohol or chemicals, its skin was much warmer. Not to mention that it was much more familiar.

Bleary hazel eyes blinked, trying to put into focus his unexpected bed companion. The room was too dark for him to see the details, but the shape was unmistakable. After all, it was his own body.

"H-Hey," he spoke up in a quiet, hoarse whisper.

There was more that he wanted to say, but he was too tired put it into words. He didn't know why his counterpart was there and he didn't really cared. He was just happy to have his boyfriend there, and even moree to have the chance to cuddle against him.

With a low hum, he rubbed his cheek against the other's shoulder, making himself comfortable against his side. Sleep came even more easily than it would have without his current company, And not just that. He felt cozy, warm, safe.

Perhaps, he thought as his consciousness faded away, this one night would have been one completely free from nightmares.

[whtepony]

party 4 u ☆ rick sanchez

PART OF YOU KNEW PART OF YOU KNEW PART OF YOU

ft. rick c-137 x reader, morty + summer!

warnings: NOT PROOFREAD! mentions of alcohol + being drunk, reader is called girlfriend once but otherwise gn, just angst bc i long to have a deeply problematic and intense relationship with him

wc: 660 (very short. just vibes)

notes: please you have to listen to the song to understand the vibes also i haven’t written anything in actual months so :3 enjoy

“sooo, are you like, throwing a super awesome party in hopes of rick actually paying attention to you for longer than two seconds or what?”

“wh- summer, what the fuck, why do you feel the need to analyze this so publicly and so loudly? i just- i like to party, these are my friends too.” you shot her a look as you responded, glancing around to see if anyone had heard before turning back. she raised an eyebrow sarcastically, tilting her red solo cup as she gestured to the side. “really? gearhead is your friend too?”

you rolled your eyes, leaning back against your living room wall. “squanchy brought him, it’s not like i went out of my way to invite either of them.”

“sure- sure sounded like you went out of your way, y/n, i mean, looks like you managed to get all of em here anyway.” morty chimed in, suddenly appearing to your left. you jumped as he spoke before groaning in annoyance. “it’s not a big deal, quit making it into one! why can’t i just get wasted and forget about my shit like everyone else does?”

morty shrugged. “he’s still not talking to you? like at all?” you shook your head, a worried look passing over your face and vanishing in just a second. whatever the reason, rick had barely spoken more than a couple words to you in the last month and you were running out of ways to rationalize it. you accidentally pissed him off without realizing, got in the way too much the last time you helped him with an errand, started getting along too well with his family, or maybe you just bored him. who the fuck knows? it’s not like he had to spend time with you. it’s not like you were his girlfriend or whatever, you weren’t owed an explanation or any sort of consistency.

you shook the thought away and downed the rest of your third or fourth drink of the night, smiling as you turned to summer and morty. “whatever, right? we’re having fun!” morty tried to give you a hopeful smile, lips curling as it failed into a grimace. you groaned again, sighing as you pushed off of the wall and turned into the kitchen in search of another drink.

“dude, hello?? are you gonna be okay if i go? you look like shit.” summer asked, standing back up as you leaned up from your slumped position on the couch. you glanced around, taking note of how absolutely trashed your apartment was but deciding that was a sober-you problem. “no, yeah,” you insisted, “i’m totally- totally good, don’t even, don’t even worry about it, man.”

“okay, this is ridiculous morty, you have to do something!”

“what?? why me?”

“because you’re like, grandpa’s emotional HR, and this is getting to be really sad to watch.”

“okay, i’m drrunk but i’m still right here.” you said with a glare at summer. you stood shakily, ushering summer and morty toward the front door. they protested even as the door shut, leaving you in a deafening silence. you shuffled back to the couch, throwing yourself down. part of you knew he wouldn’t show up, right? it was a stupid idea anyway. the crushed cups and scattered cans seemed to laugh at you, making your chest squeeze even tighter in embarrassment. you pick up someone’s half-empty can from the coffee table, staring at it for a moment before throwing back the rest of it’s contents. maybe this was a good thing - you really were starting to act more and more like rick.

on the bathroom floor, your phone buzzes inaudibly against the tile. you let yourself fall asleep in your clothes, curled into a disheveled heap against the arm of the couch.

a flash of green lights up your living room. rick steps through the portal, eyes locking on your form. he sighs softly, running a hand through his hair.

“shit.”

[ricksdirtyarchive]

Good Girl 📸

Smut - Master List

Kinks: degradation, choking, spitting in your mouth, eating out after cream pie

You sat on the couch, watching Inderdimensional Cable waiting for Rick and Morty to come home. You weren't sure how long they were gone or gonna be gone.

You were Genes daughter. Rick couldn't understand how he could produce you. Your body was like no other woman he had ever seen. Funnily enough, your mom was a honey bee, she and Gene had met at a club while he was there for an old College party.

You had an hour glass body shape, a gorgeous face, perfect (h/c) locks that fit your face perfectly, and bright (e/c) eyes that could convince a man to do anything. Every man except for Rick...

You got bored and wandered through the house as you usually did. You found a snack in the fridge and went upstairs to Ricks room. He hated people in there.

"Nuh uh uh uh. Get the fuck away from my room. Also, I've been watching Jurassic Park recently so I'm kind of on that. But seriously, don't touch my shit" a hologram raged at you as you neared his door.

"Yeah yeah" you rolled your eyes with a smirk, entering anyways. You lounged now in Ricks bed, bored again. An idea popped in your head, empty house, no sign of anyone. Perfect, and in a new place, Rick's fucking bed.

A few minutes later, your pussy was soaking his bed and you were getting sloppy with your movements. Your quiet moans ringing through your head.

You didn't hear them come home. You didn't hear Rick tell Morty he was going upstairs. You didn't hear Rick's footsteps.

"What. The fuck. Are you doing?" He spoke authoritatively. You pulled his blanket on top of you, covering your bare pussy. Your eyes shot open to meet his, a cold and vicious glare. "Well? Are you fucking mute all of a sudden?"

"N-no" you stammered. Face turning red in embarrassment. "I was just... filling time" you managed.

"By fucking your self? In MY fucking bed? S-since when did I lose m-my my privacy in this goddamn *burps* house?!" He said aggravated as he closed his door.

"Drama queen" you mutter as you continue playing with yourself. His eyebrow raised in contempt.

"Excuse me?" He snapped. "You're in my *burps* room, making a goddamned mess on m-my-my-my bed, and you have the balls to keep going?"

"Well once I start, I can't stop until I cum... and I have to start from the beginning" you say matter-of-factly. Your face twitching as you touched yourself. You locked eyes with him, his eyes drifting to your moving hand as it moved under the blanket."If you want your room back sooner, you can always help" you suggest in a low tone.

"M-move the blanket (y/n)" he ordered. You obeyed. He now havd a better view of your bare waist. You turned to face him, spreading your pussy lips for him. "I fucking hate you"

"Come prove it" you challenge. In that instance, Rick unbuckles his belt and slightly pulls down his pants, enough for his cock to spring free from the strain. He positioned himself at your entrance, kissing you before entering your heat. His lips attached to yours, holding your throat.

"I fucking will, you useless piece of shit" he declared. A smile spread across your face. He thrusted into you, his cock reaching farther than anyone else ever had. "Oh yeah, you like my big cock inside you, don't you?" He teases. You nod.

"Fuck yes. You feel so fucking good" you moan. His hand clasps to yours mouth.

"Ke-keep it down, (y/n). you're gonna let everyone know you-you-you're gushing on my cock." He noted as he looked down at your wetness coating his member. "Such a g-good fucking girl"

"Mmhmm" you moan behind his hand. Eyes watering from pleasure as he fucked into you. His dick swirling inside your pussy. Your stomach dropped while your heart went up into your throat.

"Oh is that pussy gonna c-cum for me?" He asks, fucking you harder. "Is that pussy gonna *burp* cum?" You nod helplessly, your eyes rolling back as you go brain dead on his dick. Your pussy clenching around him as you began to squirt on him. The wet sounds of your pussy echoing in his ears as he watched your cunt drown his dick in juices.

"Holy shit, you're fucking g-gold" he groaned. "Can I cum in there? It feels so good" he teased. You could hardly contain your body spasms as he continues to overload you. He groaned a little louder before a hot shot of cum painted your walls. Followed by a few more thick ropes of cum. He roughly pulled his cock out, and Leaned down to see his cum already leaking out of your throbbing pussy.

"Mmmph, Rick" you whimper lightly as he dipped his head down into your pussy. Lapping away at your mixed juices. He stood back up, cumming glistening on his chin. He towered over you, gently pulling your jaw open. He spit in your open mouth. Towering above you again, barbarically wiping his mouth with his arm.

"Swallow it" he told you and you did. A gasp leaving your lips after his cum went down your throat. You looked at each other, now breathing heavily. Sweating and now sexually satisfied. "I gonna *burps* portal us downstairs when you get dressed so it l-l-looks like you just got got here" he spoke. Eyes drowned with lust as he stared down to your dripping pussy, his cum seeping onto his sheets.

"And then, Rick blew the head off the alien and we just ran. The-the cube is a-a-actually in my room right right right now" Morty finished as you leaned on Rick's work bench. You took a swig from Rick's flask, letting him glare at you as you did.

"Sounds epic Morty, I'm just sorry I missed it" you acknowledged.

"Well I'm sorry we we don't call you to tell y-you our mission" Rick said sarcastically. You smirk at him.

"Well, you should" you say poking his head. He growled lowly as you turned your back to him. He knew he'd be back in that pussy later. He needed it now, he'd never had a better pussy than yours.

"R-r-Rick? Why're you st-staring at her like that?" Morty asked loudly.

"Shut the fuck up Morty and get me a beer" Rick snapped again. A smile settling on your face as you walked out of the garage.

[quinnkdev]

i wrote a short thing about OFF, and my relationship to it as its translator; thoughts ive wanted to put into words for a while.

you can read it here as well, under the cut.

wait! wait... there is more to be said about OFF than, at the time of my previous review, i had the bandwidth for. i had, temporarily, reached a point of saturation with it - you only regurgitate a game's text again and again so many times until you start getting a bit weary of it, after all - but now that the bomb has burst and the remake is public knowledge (i kept that stuff secret for 2+ years!), i have the peace of mind to really unpack this. OFF was my companion for the late end of my teen years and more or less the whole of my current adulthood. the better - maybe even the best parts of my life - were (at least in part) shaped by adoration for and dedication to this game and its story. OFF survived the beginning and end of several friendships and relationships (romantic or otherwise) throughout my life, and i project it will survive many more - if not me, as a living human being. and i hope you understand that this is a lot to put into writing. can you imagine? something you did at 16 years old, because you were bored and liked a video game; a text someone else made, passed through you like a pamphlet - outgrowing you like that, becoming larger than you may ever be? i wrestle with that feeling frequently. some would grow resentful of the object of this kind of ruminating, especially as a writer and gamedev themselves- but i can't find it in me to ever hate OFF, no matter how often i hear about it; there simply is nothing like it. OFF has created several core memories that i can flash back to. i remember the knot in my stomach at its ending. i remember that it was time to sleep, and i remember staring at the ceiling, closing my eyes, and seeing void behind them, with white bedsheet ghosts floating there. i remember the resolve to translate it. i remember: "i have to show this to decon" (a friend that i've long since stopped speaking to). i remember isaiah (friend i lost touch with, number 2) asking me to keep working on the translation because he loved the game and wanted to know what happens in zone 2. i remember a vacation in france i mostly spent on a shoddy laptop my grandmother owned, on slow (maybe dial-up) internet, tinkering in RPG maker 2003, trying to make more headway in a language i only barely knew better than the one i was translating from. i remember this more than the majority of the relationship that introduced me to the game. that's sad to consider, isn't it? can a story be more significant than a person? i was very unwell for large parts of the time i spent working on this translation. i had dark thoughts; i feared impossible and possible things both. i was depressed, and i made very real attempts to turn the world in the only window i know - my eyes - off. permanently. and maybe- that is why OFF is larger than me. because in the negative space of its conclusion, in the turning of the final switch from ON to OFF, there lies a question: "is all this despair, all this hurt, all this misery and all of this unsolvable injustice of this world worth it?" and OFF, in my opinion, says: yes. or at least, for me it did. i'm not letting go of these memories, or of these stories, or of my adoration for this game. i love it more by the day. i owe a lot to it. this isn't a funeral, it's a celebration. thank you, OFF, and thank you, mortis ghost. i would not be here, i would not be this, and i would not be me without you.

[heartofhubris]

Favorite Molina boy besides Harding??

ok this is low key hard bc every other character of his i enjoy due to the way he interacts with other characters. But top 3 we'll say:

1. Doc ock

His rendition of Otto was so good that I actually ended up playing the insomniac game, and watched tssm (amazing show btw). But the way he was an icarus of his time, and just all the story thats behind the scenes with Norman and the sinister six, its so compelling and decadent.

2. Harold Lindsay-jones

Let's go kill a nazi!

The way he interacts with Victor the entire series - is this thing on - the way he interacts with ptsd shell shock and the way he understands that Victor is a bit different a bit weird, but he's still good, or the way he makes Callum understand he's there to concoct a mutually beneficial arrangement so they both can tell the truth, or stealing a cake for a woman he'd barely met a handful of times, OR the way seeing his niece, his ward, his only family, made him chicken out of confessing what he did?

Ill admit @writingkitten beat me to the punch of publishing a book inspired by Harold, but im working on a story to take place after the show, based on him.

3. Andrés Galan

Picture this right

Your wife's blood has been on your hands for years. Your daughter hates you. You've worked yourself up from begging for anything to owning an entire sports team, by selling phones (iirc) at just the right time. Your life is now safe, and you're going to live forever.

And then, in the span of just a season, your empire is falling, you've nearly died, your child at last loves you, and the main competitor to rule the world, the one man who had created this structure and made you, in part, what you are, and he's now dead. The position is open, and of course you take it. Who would be so dumb as to not? And the woman you'd almost thought would stand by you, had betrayed you.

Oh cmon the beauty of it

Bonus, on the animated side, Mr Needful from Rick and Morty is my fave voice role from him

Thank you!

[scoobydoodean]

Amara: I can feel the love you feel except

It's cloaked in shame

I would like to know what your interpretation of this dialogue, as your more neutral,

I personally ship destiel so my interpretation was it was leaning to dean feeling ashamed for his feelings for Cas and possible internalised homophobia. Amara: I can feel the love you feel except

It's cloaked in shame

I would like to know what your interpretation of this dialogue, as your more neutral,

I personally ship destiel so my interpretation was it was leaning to dean feeling ashamed for his feelings for Cas, not having Cas return his feelings (that reminded me of J. A saying that he didn't think Cas/angels would feel that way, I'm summarizing) and possible internalised homophobia.

There's discourse as wincest shippers think is about Dean's feelings for Sam romantically.  And that's why its cloaked in shame etc

Or is it about the life that dean wants via retirement and wanting to do something else? Like the only qualm I have over this is Amara saying all the love which for me at least indicates a romantic undertone

Okay—so this took me a while to chew on (and I still am tbqh) and I want to preface this by saying nothing I'm saying here is meant to say this is the only way to interpret the dialogue or that dialogue can't represent more than one thing. But I do have a more neutral interpretation for you, anon.

Relevant passage from 11.13 "Love Hurts", where Dean is attacked by a Qareen—an entity that takes on the shape of your "deepest, darkest, desire" in order to get close enough to rip out your heart.

Dean: Find anything? (He turns to see Amara) Qareen!Amara: I understand Dean. Dean: Is that right? Qareen!Amara: the longing in your heart, I feel it too. Dean: (inching towards the knife) Well that’s touching. Consider that you don’t have a heart. Qareen. [...] Qareen!Amara: Who I am doesn’t matter. The real question is who are you? Dean: What do you mean who am I? Qareen!Amara: You’re a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except it’s cloaked in shame. When it comes to this, you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in.

The very first thing I want to point out here, is that the Qareen clearly perceives Amara to be Dean's "deepest darkest desire"—because it takes on her shape—not Cas's shape, or Sam's shape, or hell—Crowley's shape. If it was concerned with the love Dean was feeling for Cas or Sam or someone else deep down, I think it makes sense to say it would have taken one of their shapes—but it doesn't. It presents itself as Amara. And it presents itself as Amara because the Qareen doesn't represent love at all. It represents dark—often fleeting—desire that is mistaken for love. We see this in a few ways.

First, the episode opens with a wife (Melissa) and husband (Dan) going out for an apparent romantic Valentine's Day dinner. They appear deeply in love at first... but then we find out Dan is schtupping the babysitter, Stacy.

Second, while Melissa is out of the room, Stacy and Dan kiss, and Stacy says, "Ew I can taste her mom lipstick…" only to compliment Melissa's lipstick and act like she loves Melissa when Melissa comes back into the room. Stacy also urges Dan to tell Melissa tonight that he's with her now. Dan calls it heartless to do that on Valentine's day, and says he needs time.

Third, while it isn't caught in the transcript, I noticed when I was watching the episode, in the scene where Stacy is at the house alone, flipping through channels on the TV, we catch a snippet of "Rick and Morty" just as the Qareen, in Dan's shape, comes inside the house to kill Stacy.

Rick: You say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. Morty: Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that! Rick: Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slow fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty.

Fourth, there's the question of who Dan even actually loves. Does he love Melissa, or Stacy, or neither of them? The Qareen takes Stacy's shape to kill him, which suggests he loves the babysitter, but he's also giving the babysitter the runaround and doesn't necessarily seem willing to commit to her. It seems more like he wants to have his cake in eat it too—get the benefits of his long-term relationship and life together with Melissa, while embroiling himself in a sex-filled affair with someone young and attractive, but who really doesn't come off as long-term partner material (thus our indications of his attempts to stall breaking up with Melissa). He also just... doesn't seem that broken up about Stacy's death.

Fifth, there's Melissa herself, who actually knows about Dan's affair but has kept quiet about it. The Qareen takes the shape of Dan to kill her, because her deepest darkest desire is for Dan to love her back. The Qareen itself is only appearing to all of them because, in a lovesick state, Melissa took a "love spell" from a witch that turned sour (the witch despises women who won't simply leave their cheating husbands, and devised the spell to punish the cheaters and the women who run back to them only for them to cheat again). Melissa wanted to make Dan love her again. But that also... makes me question if she actually loves Dan, or whether she just wants him. If you truly love someone, would you be willing to violate their consent like that—by forcing them to love you back when you believe they've fallen out of love with you?

What I'm saying is... I'm not sure anyone is actually seeing who they truly love. I don't think the Qareen can actually see who people really truly love. It only shows them their "deepest, darkest, desire". It shows them what they want at that exact moment in time—a fall into an illicit affair, a desire to force someone to love you back, or in the case of Amara, escape from captivity—from the prison your loved ones have trapped you inside. The Quareen captures—as Rick tells us—something fleeting and primal—just enough to lower the victim's defenses so it can rip out their heart.

Further, Dean himself vehemently rejects the idea that he loves Amara at the end of the episode, and there's a couple of things I'd like to touch on in this dialogue:

Dean: Honestly? You seriously think the sister of God is my deepest darkest desire? Sam: She isn’t? Dean: No! She can’t be! Sam: Why not? Dean: Why? Because if she is that means that I’m… Sam: Means you’re what? Complicit? Weak? Evil? Dean: For starters, yeah. Sam: Dean. Do you honestly think you ever had a choice in the matter? She’s the sister of God, and for some reason she picked you and that sucks, but if you think I’m gonna blame you or judge you…I’m not. Dean: You know that I want her ass dead. Sam: Yes. Of course. And I know you’ve also probably beaten yourself up a hundred times over it, but where has that gotten us? (Long silence) Just how bad is it? Dean: Standing here right now, every bone in my body wants to run her through. Send her back to that hole she crawled out of. But when I’m near her, I don’t know. Something happens and I can’t explain it, but to call it desire or love…it’s not that. I’m screwed man. We wanna kill the darkness. We need to kill the darkness. And I don’t think I can. I’m sorry to do that to you, ya know, but when it comes right down to it…

First, note the sign blinking "Non-Consensual" through this conversation. What Dean wants to do and his actions when he's actually in Amara's proximity are two very different things. This scares Dean, and it invokes the the memory of Melissa's love spell—her trying to force Dan to love her. Sam points to a severe power imbalance existing between Dean and Amara—implies that anything Amara wants Dean to do, she can likely make him do, and emphasizes that this isn't Dean'a fault or his choice. We get other nods toward the non-consensual element of Dean's connection to Amara in 11.06—how Amara seems able to resist how enthralled she is with Dean and still blast him into walls, but Dean can't lay a hand on her. In 11.13, I think we also get a subtle nod to the non-con angle with Dean going out looking to hook up the first day they're in town for the case, even though he just got lucky the night before and it was clearly a rough night. Sam points out this is unusual for Dean. Imo, this points to Dean trying to reassert control over who he is attracted to and who he shows desire toward.

So consider: "When it comes to this [your attraction to me], you can’t help yourself, so why fight it. Just give in."

Second, notice that Dean is ashamed. This also isn't the first time we've seen this. Dean tried to kill Amara in 11.06 and couldn't. He deflected then hid it when Cas pressed him on Amara getting away. He reiterates the shame he feels here by insisting it can't be true that he desires Amara because that would make him complicit, weak, and evil just for starters. I'm reminded of Dan hiding the nanny cam, only to show Dean the footage of him punching a hole through Stacy's chest, pleading with Dean to believe that it wasn't him when it's someone who looks exactly like him. Dean can't control what happens around Amara, but he feels implicated anyway—he hides in shame.

For these reasons, I think the most direct reading here is that Dean is ashamed of Amara being his "deepest, darkest, desire," and I think it's also possible that talk of "love" by Qareen!Amara is misdirection—false love for Amara (fleeting desire for what she represents) mispresented as real love. Of course, something can mean more than one thing, and I think there's many ways to play in the sandbox with this episode and this dialogue, but I do think the chief thing they wanted to emphasize in this episode was that Dean is scared of his connection to Amara, and that it isn't his choice, but Dean feels shame anyway (so much so that he hides it until this episode). Amara wants him to give into his desire, and the Qareen also wants him to (so it can kill him) and mischaracterizes what Dean feels as love just as it mischaracterizes what Stacy and Dan and Melissa all feel as love.

[tia-amorosa]

Episode 55: Old New Life (Longer Part)

The sun slowly rose over Pleasantview. And even though it was autumnally chilly, no one was freezing that morning. Cassandra had just woken up, and when she looked next to her, she had to smile. Lazlo had snuck into bed with her. A sleeping bag like that is also simply uncomfortable. “Hey….” The two of them looked into each other's eyes, enamored. "hnn… Do you fancy a coffee?".

The two of them got up and went into the kitchen together. There, she first made fresh coffee. "When did you get home?" / "Not us, just me. Your father stayed with his wife…" / "So you found her?" / "Yes, she was in Woodland Park, playing cat and mouse with us beforehand." / "I don't think we can blame her. She must have been desperate. I hope he was able to talk to her… coffee with sugar?" / "No, just black. He wanted to take a taxi home anyway." / "Really? Then he's probably asleep now. I hope they were able to talk it out."

While the two of them drank their coffee, they were quite silent. But then Cassandra interrupted the silence, "Hh… Do you know that I don't really feel like going to him at all?“/ ”Who do you mean? Don?“/ ”mhm. But I have to do it…"/,,well… I eshave your father's blessing…“/ ”hnhn, what?“/ ”Yes, and he said to take good care of you…“/ ”How…? How did he say that?" she asked him with a strange feeling in her stomach.

How? Normal… hey, it didn't sound like goodbye if that's what you think". When she heard his words, she took a deep breath. "h-hh, all right then… Although I'd understand if he went to her…“/ ”You don't think he'll die so suddenly, do you?“/ ”hmhm… I'm always prepared for something like that, death has been with our family for so long.“/ ”But we still have time, don't we?". She looked at him and smiled. “Yes, plenty of time.”

Later. By now it was almost 10:00 a.m. and so far Mortimer hadn't shown his face. So Cassandra went upstairs to the bedroom, knocked softly and waited for a response. But there was none…she tried again, a little louder, but again no sign. And even though she was expecting everything, she was overcome by an unpleasant feeling.

Since she was sure that there would be no response even after a third knock, she went into the bedroom…brief silence… "Lazlo! Dad's not here, he's not here!"/. Even though she had just said that she was prepared for everything, that was true, but she had expected something else.

He also went into the bedroom. “He's not here, so he didn't come home, Lazlo!” she said, slightly exasperated. “Hey, calm down now…”/ "but… If he's not here… Could he still be in the park? With mom?". It was obvious that Cassandra was a little worried. “If you want, we can go there, okay?”…

. “yes, h-h, that would be good, I, I'll just go and put my clothes on…”. They were just about to put on their clothes when they both suddenly heard a noise… And through the bedroom door, which was still open, they could hear voices… "That's embarrassing, that was the last time you made me do something like that. The looks on people's faces, oh my God…“/ ”ihihi, I found that very funny, Morty…". Cassandra stood in front of Lazlo with her eyes wide open and only a barely audible “Mom?” came out. escaped her lips.

Cassandra quickly ran down the stairs and Lazlo followed her. When they got downstairs, the young woman was almost breathless. “h-h, M-Mom”/ “oh, my darling, we thought you might still be asleep…”. Cassandra was completely surprised. Lazlo, on the other hand, was rather amused by the whole situation and Mortimer was rather less amused. “Hey, instead of standing around here making fun of me, you could get me some clothes from upstairs!”…

Cassandra was less amused, she was once completely perplexed…. "Mom, you're… Alive again… And daddy, you…“/”oh my darling, I can't explain it to you…. But I can remember everything again…“/ ”Really… Everything?" Her voice trembled. “Yes, everything, Cassy darling”.

Cassandra was so overwhelmed that she went to her mother and hugged her. “Mom, I can't believe it, you're alive again and… Dad is so young…"/ ”yes, isn't that a wonderful gift? I don't know who gave it to us, but I'm so happy to be with you again. Where's Alex?“/” He's still asleep, it's the weekend. I can't believe it, I'm so…“/ Can I get some clothes now or do I have to walk around here naked forever”. Mortimer became increasingly uncomfortable. After all, he was standing naked in the hallway. “I'm already leaving. Any special requests?” / ‘hmpf…’/ ‘OK, anything,’ Lazlo grinned .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later. After the excitement had died down, they tried to talk to each other. “How… How did this happen?“/”I can't explain it to you, Lazlo, do you believe in miracles?” / “I believe in a lot of things, hey, and if there are aliens, then there's something like that… Someone must have meant well in the universe. If I had been there, I could have done an analysis"/ ..

“it was just… Overwhelming… We showed and saw each other our memories, feelings…"/,,it just needed a switch to be flipped, I think. I'm really glad they got a second chance. “/Yeah, I think I need to get to know my old new body again first“/,,hehe, I wasn't old yet, but there will certainly be a difference…”/,,Oh yes, a big…”.

Bella and her daughter withdrew a little to talk in peace. “Did you wish you were alive again?"/ ”Of course I did. I always wanted that, that's what my subconscious always told me somewhere deep inside…and now I know everything again. You really got engaged to Don? He's more than twice your age, my darling“/”Yes, but I'm going to end the relationship“/”Hn, because of Lazlo“/ ‘’I love him, mom”.

Bella smiled sympathetically. “oh yes, I felt that when we were all still in Strangetown. We had talked about it…"/,,Yes… And we… Got closer, very close, which I was very afraid of at first"/ ”but why be afraid? If you're attracted to someone who feels the same, you don't need to be afraid. “/“It was because of the curse…”/“What curse?” Bella was confused and curious.

Cassandra told her mother about the curse again in short format. “Who told you this story about the curse?"/,,Great-grandmother Prudence. I know she tells a lot of stories sometimes, but I've done some research and the women really did all die when they, you know…“/”Old writings like that always tell half the truth, Cassy, or nothing at all. I guess… they caught something. It was the Middle Ages back then.

Cassandra started to think about what her mother had just told her. Of course, in the Middle Ages there were many diseases that either led to years of suffering or death. “I think I'll have to have another serious word with Prudence.“/”Yes. I admire your clothes, they shimmer like metal and yet are supple.” Bella looked down at herself for a moment and smiled, almost a little wistfully. “That's what you wear… On Lunar Lakes”.

“It's still unbelivable to me. You were on an alien planet, several years in the future… Did you… met anyone there?“/”Do you mean a man? No… I certainly met some people, but I never went home with anyone or vice versa. I was a complete loner there"/ ‘the complete opposite…’/ ”Yes… And I'd still like to take these clothes off now and choose something else“/”of course, take your time, Mom”.

Cassandra gave her mother the freedom to move around her house and get used to it again. She entered the bedroom almost reverently and went to the old chest of drawers. She wasn't sure if it still contained any of her clothes. Mortimer had banished many of her things from his field of vision. Now, in retrospect, he was a little sorry. But her pictures, which were said to no longer exist, are all still there. With great patience and care, Bella picked out some of her clothes and changed.

@greenplumbboblover , @solorisims , @honeywinesims ☀

[saivenaaa]

I'm sorry but i need this out of my system

(This is allau!alex and allau!Mortimer)

Fw: swearing, angst, and discussing about death

----------------------------------------------------------

Always

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND" Alex screams at Mortimer sounding angry and, at the verge of tears at the same time.

"Kid Calm do-" "NO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS, DO YOU?! " tears begin to form and fall from their eyes " I ALWAYS CHANGE AND YOU- You- you....you don't " they stop screaming as more tears fall down their face backing away slightly from Mortimer "i can be broken into pieces, mend into something unrecognizable, or simply stop existing... But, you.. you always end up like this... Like them.... Your fate is sealed the moment you signed that contract and, i-... And i...can't do anything about it" and fall to the ground, head hanging low crying.

Mortimer goes and sits down next to them, hugging them not caring about the fact that his clothes are going to be soaking wet.. I mean he always hugged them when they where younger... So it didn't really matter to him.

"Look kid....it's not easy losing someone close to you is hard and it's even harder when you are going through a rough time..." Mortimer started "but im still here... Yes I look different and got changed into something a 'little' unrecognizable but im still me and I'm still here isn't that better than being dead?" Mortimer asked like its a genuine question...

"no..." Alex said with such a low tone but Mortimer heard "no! Why would it be? How is turning into something you don't understand better than being dead??!" Alex asked raising their head and looking at mortimer "At least we know is death! But... We didn't know this... We never knew this.... We weren't expected to know this" alex says their voice barely made it above a whisper as they said the last sentence.

"I but I'm still on your side isn't that better?" Mortimer asked thinking alex would agree... He was wrong "NO! I would rather have you dead than suffer consensually beside me! " They screamed because how dare he how dare he think they want him to suffer?

"But i am still me in two of the universes" "that's two out of an MILLION morti"

"Kid.... I- look i don't care what happens to me if I'm by your side i am better than being without you" "but i di-"

"I know you die in some universes but listen when i tell you kid im always better with you around me"

"Always..?"

"Always" Mortimer Hugged them tighter and smiled.

----------------------------------------------------------

TODAY'S SPECIAL TAG IS : HURT/ COMFORT AND NOT BETA READ WE DIE LIKE LANKMAN IN MOST OF THE AU'S.

And no i did not give the brick a little kiss before i threw it at your head

Any feedback is appreciated (especially if it's about a spelling error or grammar)

[quietbluejay]

Dark Imperium #7

Some fun stuff in this one (fungus zoom call and guilliman's fancy dinner)!

oh! is it???

is it??????

it is!!! hi mort!!!!!! okay happiness over let's look at what's going on

LOOK AT THIS AAAUGGGGHHH

how can you hurt me in this way, haley, ow ow ow (for those who are wondering what's up with me lmao well think about Barbarus) the organic parts of the Endurance (of which there are many) are full of disease however

also it rains acid

FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU ONLY YOU CAN LET IT IN the linkin park version of "unwritten" mortarion is as happy as he ever is, and he stretches out his moth wings and takes off sorry "giant fly wings" i think moth is cooler

why is this so funny to me you hear VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and then 20 foot tall dude t-posing just floats past you in the air

it's time for mortarion to go to his room which has KEEP OUT on the door (it doesn't, it's just for practical purposes that way) hey let's hear about morty's hobby some people collect minis, morty collects…

clocks and also

iiit's Necare! mortarion spent like a millennium hunting him down milennium millenium i sweare not one of these looks right and spell check is suspiciously silent ON ALL OF THEM and now it's time for the fungus zoom call i love fungus zoom call

on the one hand, i don't want to touch this with a 10ft pole on the other hand, it would make zoom calls more interesting so we got Typhus and Ku'Gath on the call Mortarion: muahaha the time is at hand, now that Guilliman is coming back Typhus: you're a dumbass. you should have finished this before he got back Mortarion: no you don't get it Typhus I have to kill Guilliman!!!! what's a kingdom without a king? Typhus: rolling his eyes Typhus: you need to move on, man Mortarion: I have! Look at me now! Typhus: lol. lmao. You're a trophy for Nurgle. You didn't pay for your power. Also, oh yeah, you owe everything you have today to me, I'm the one who actually put in effort, you just sat there like a typical primarch Mortarion: curb your insolence Typhus: or what? again typhus has really grown on me one might say like a fungus Typhus: Neener neener neener, Grandpa likes me better than you also i said this the first time I read this, but I also felt like the Nurglites had their own twisted version of Christianity to match the Imperium's

Mortarion: don't try to tell me what to do. You're working with me on this Typhus: the hell I am. You don't have any power over me any more. If you managed to get that fact through your thick skull then maybe we'd be able to reconcile

im barely adding stuff to my paraphrases, as you can see Typhus: okay it's nice that you're turning to the warp more, but your numerology is wrong. I'm not coming Mortarion: are you also against me, Ku'Gath Ku'Gath: no, I actually think this will work. Let's do this for Nurgle!

Mortarion vibes with Ku'Gath because they're both miserable Ku'Gath gets excited as he talks about the disease he is going to create but Morty needs to buy him time to make it and zoom call over

i can't make this stuff up this scene was gold

"you're the only one who understands me, Silence" Mortarion has a heart to heart with dear old dad

there's a lot to unpack here but i want to throw away most of the suitcase, it's got black mold spores in it "with guilliman gone, the imperium will be doomed" just keep telling yourself that

Sky: This scene is fun, but I have to be honest, I don't know why Morty is fixated on Guilliman like this. I mean, strategically, I get it, but this seems strangely personal

I don't think they ever fought during the Heresy? Have they ever even had an on-page conversation before this series?

Bluejay: they haven't, lol I think Guilliman is basically just representing all the loyalists to Morty here i don't think Morty even thinks about Guilliman, ever

Lore: Except he secretly was thinking of him all this time, because… Drum roll please The Ultramarines are THE GREATEST OF THEM ALL

Sky: Of course they are, their Spiritual Liege is The Greatest Primarch

we're back to Guilliman POV he's thinking about the changes to the Fortress of Hera since his time it's all built up now also the scars of war are on maccrage okay so big event, the works, to welcome guilliman back, on a dark and stormy night fireworks etc

five custodes, four s o s, three victrix, two named captains, and a partridge in a pear tree

everyone waits Guilliman: I have returned that's all he says lmao calgar and guilliman talk yes in the rain sisters of silence get some named, i can't remember which of these two is Voi …or maybe Voi isn't one of them Bellas and Aphone (notes)

lol this is also hilarious to me after reading the Ventris books well okay im still in the middle of the third one lol agemmann (sp?) has a heart to heart with ventris during his trial about breaking the codex and talks him into not even trying to defend himself and just going to be executed because one person breaking the codex means the next thing you know the ultramarines are going to become roving pirates for real, it would have been great to have some ultramarine POVs on obeying the codex vs what guilliman says and conflict because of that

time for big meeting now guilliman says he doesn't want any food rip for any of the people travelling with him if they're normal humans and hungry so, they brought one of guilliman's old chairs out of storage for him to sit on they treated all his stuff as holy relics meanwhile guilliman just sees it as…a chair which feels so weird to Calgar oh!!! mortifactors are here! you know, come to think of it, Haley does a lot of these bait and switches in this series i don't mean that in a negative way, it's a device he's using i'm going to provide the whole passage to demonstrate what I'm talking about

so, sounds like Calgar is disappointed that Guilliman is acting like an autocrat, right?

that was the bait now it's time for the switch

yes, his issue was that people didn't just all automatically perfectly obey guilliman, so he had to make them

Lore:

This feels a bit like copium, and rationalizing everything Guilliman does as good so Calgar can keep on believing in the Primarch. It also justifies everything bad Calgar has done in the past (since even Guilliman would have done the same thing), which is the part giving me the copium feeling. I kinda wish and also dread that they put up an opposing voice to this mind-set. Uwoma Kandawire in "Valdor : Birth of the Imperium" sort of did this with her belief in civilian oversight of the government as opposed to military rule. However, I'm guessing that the editors or GW or BL would force the narrative to either trample all over the opposing voice or have the voice corrupted by Chaos because the Imperium has to be the way it is and no other way is viable.

okay guilliman is going to give a speech for all the military dudes and delegates

oh the next bit is pffff pfffffffffffff

im cackling loudly in my room rn im trying to think of ONE other that qualifies besides Ultramar uhhh Inwit?? maybe???

can anyone think of another one? and also ultramar was not really lauded most people just didn't care

Sky: If nothing else, I'm glad for more proof that the GC was run as a bunch of a feudal fiefdoms divided among the Primarchs

Lore: I'm just chuckling that they literally called themselves "the very best". Granted, Matt Ward's Ultramarine books had themselves calling the "the greatest of them all" as well, so it's not really knew but to see it in canon writing brings it home that these boys are insufferably Roman.

i mean we got Nostramo, which was Nostramo, Nuceria, which EVERYONE for some reason completely forgot to actually make part of the imperium and no im still not over that feudal fenris, strip mining all over caliban and it being completely ignored by lion, olympia being treated as human resource factory by perturabo…. etc etc etc

we're going to save Making Ultramar Great Again for the next post!

[fandomwe1rd0]

Rewrote a scene from Solaricks from Rick's first person pov because this scene makes me go insaneeeeeeee

I went into my spaceship, I heard that fucking voice that sounded like Diane again. That thing I built to haunt me. It was the least I could do. Diane's death was all my fault. I wasn't fast enough. If I didn't fucking stand there, frozen in shock like a pussy, she'd still be alive today. I'm sure of it. But then again, I'm sure if Prime wanted someone dead, there's not a lot anyone can do to stop him. "Is that symbolic? Are you letting go? I understand baby!" She..I mean it laughed a little. Ignore her…ignore it…igno- "I forgive you!" What? Fuck no. I couldn't let myself hear this. This wasn't her! I snapped "You don't get to say! You're not her! You're a thing I built to torture myself! This whole fucking timeline is cursed! I gotta get out of here!" She spoke with mock sympathy, "Because you wanna move on." "BECAUSE I DON'T!" I held back to urge to hit myself for letting myself say that. I thought of Beth, Summer…Morty. "A-burp-nd I have to." I looked over in the direction of the voice…it was almost like talking to her again. "I came back on accident…the guy I'm looking for…he's not findable Diane…" I closed my eyes and recollected myself. "I live with a version of Beth now…" Diane exclaimed, "Sounds like a version of nice!" Heh, I'm sure she'd love to hear about our grandkids. I could talk to her about them all day, I know that she'd love Morty. I'm sure the kid would love her too. I continued "We have grandkids, that's who Summer is. She's going to get me out of here." I thought about Summer, her determination…her spirit…"She reminds me of you." Diane spoke, and you could basically hear the smile in her voice (if she wasn't a disembodied voice) "Oh really?" I almost smiled, until her voice stopped me in my tracks "Is she dead too?" I looked down. "Goodbye Diane."

I prepared to fly into the rift, the voice stopped my train of thought "You're not honestly going to fly into the rift without coordinates, are you?" I felt my stomach churn with her next words "Don't give up on us, Rick!" The voice continued "I don't make the rules! Haunters gonna haunt!" My unibrow furrowed. Ignore, ignore, ignore. I began flying, seeing the rifts, I could still hear the fucking voice "Baby?" Fuck. Hearing Diane's voice say that again…..no. It wasn't her. IT WASN'T HER! "Are you killing yourself?" Heh. I wish. "I'm more embracing the win-win of risking my life." I took a deep breath in. I flew through the rift. The colors swirled and meshed. Changing every second. I couldn't even pin one color. This was no time to admire it. I had to remember what I was here for. "C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!" It fucking spoke again "Baby? Something to keep in mind…if you were pulled home by whatever happened, it's likely our target was as well." Fuck. It had a point. "It's also likely that he's having as much trouble leaving as you are. I wiped off the spittle from my bottom lip with my hand "He's trapped…"

Finally, finally! I heard Summer's voice "Grandpa?" I saw the coordinates. "Oh fuck yes!" I was able to detect Morty thanks to the tracking chip I had in his spine. Summer continued "Grand-" Her voice cut out "Grandpa!" I praised "Summer! Gold star! Always believed in you! Now the hard part." Summer spoke "Hard part?" I instructed "Way worse things than me can see that becaon too, hunker down and protect it while I grab Morty. Rick out. Try to survive!"

I crashed down, I should be in Morty's dimension, hopefully he's close by. I barely got out of my spaceship before I saw him. "Morty!" He ran to me with his arms outstretched like a fucking idiot. "Rick!" I kneeled down to his eyelevel, he was so fucking short. I held onto to his shoulder and he continued to speak "I knew it! I knew you wouldn't leave me!" I plucked out a strand of his hair "Ow!" I held back a wince, maybeeee I should've explained why I pulled it out beforehand, oh well, too late now. Not the weirdest thing I've done for sure. "What the fuck?" I couldn't be bothered to explain, not right now. I should be able to use his DNA to track Prime. "Morty, did you see another Rick here? Non-descript haircut, sci-fi jacket…eh, of course you didn't see him you'd be dead…" Another idea popped into my head "Or you'd be a bomb! Do you feel bomb-y?" I waited, he seemed fine. Thank god. "Nah, you probably would've blown up by now." Morty spoke "W-wasn't the Rick here dead? That's why you picked places, right?" Classic Morty, incapable of seeing the bigger picture "O- uhh your Rick uh…not dead…more like…not around, when I met you I was sorta hoping he might turn up one day." FUCK YEAH! I was finally able to track Prime! "You son of a bitch! I got you!" I ran into the spaceship, and Morty, like the dutiful partner he was, followed after me. "Wh-Where where are we going?" I answered in a matter-of-faculty manner "To kill your grandpa, little buddy." "Wait, what?" I sighed and explained "Your original Rick was Rick Prime, the Rick that killed my family, I came to this dimenson because I was hoping he'd come back one day, y'know, before it got corenberged, he was pulled back here, and now I can track him." I explained on the fly there. Morty blinked "I don't understand…my original Rick killed your family? And you were just waiting for him to come back?" Gee, thanks captain obvious. It's not like that's what I just said. "Seems like you understand fine, Morty. That was A+ retyping."

The spaceship serched to a stop "We're here." Morty couldn't see the building, so he assumed we were just in the vacuum of space. I opened up the spaceship and he covered his mouth, as if that would help, idiot. It wouldn't matter either way, I modified his body to be able to breath in space for a reason. "This guy Morty, he hates being found but loves building elaborate shit." I decided to put it in a way he'd understand "Like-like playing a bunch of Minecraft but on a private server." Morty uncovered his mouth "Am I in a fucking K-hole right now, what's going on!?" I threw something that would make the building visable.

I saw Prime's fucking face. I heard his annoying ass voice and laugh. "Woahhh ho-ho you found me!" I shot the moniter. It just reappeared in a different spot "Yeah, I'd shoot the first monitor too, listen I'm not here…or am I?" A tube appeared, Prime was in there. I wanted so badly to shoot it, but the glass was probably bullet-proof. "There's the clone you found!" Fuck. "Or maybe it's me all naked…" My eyes perked "Just a lil' Kysher Soscye. I mean, why would I admit it's not?" It started dancing "Ohhh look at him go, look at him dancing! O-or me! Again it might be me, but like a Saw thing! I'm veryyy sneaky, he's a bunch of killbots to deal with while you wrestle with that. Fuck.

I instinctively jumped to shield Morty, a blue shield surrounded us and the spaceship. Morty went in the spaceship while I shot the killbots. "Obviously I don't know who I'm talking to here, it's all prerecorded" I shot the mointer again, but it just reappeared, of course, what was I thinking? "Buttt if you got this far you probably think you're real special, tell ya what." The tube disapeared. FUCK! Why can't things just go right for once?! "Oo there he goes! Maybe that actually was me!" I got laser whips from my arms thanks to my implants, Prime contined "And if you follow him down there we can have a big fight! 50% chance I'm not lying!"

I heard Space Beth's voice, her voice occasionally getting cut out due to the static "We're in troubl- asshole! I shouldn- have to beg!" Morty whined "Rick, my moms are in trouble!" Ugh, what a planetary mindset." Those versions of them are." I reminded him. Morty continued with his squeaky voice "We gotta save them!" He flew the spaceship up slightly "Rick, this is an obvious trap!" I held back a scoff, as if he knew anything about traps. "If you go down there, he's just going to kill you!" I spoke without thinking "Good!" Morty blinked "What?"

He flew the spaceship down and started walking toward where the tube dropped. "Now what?" Morty replied "If you don't care if you die, why do you care if I die?" This little turd. He tried going down, but I pulled him back by his shirt "Knock it off! Get outta here! You did this last season! You're like a suicide bomber!" Morty replied "Takes one to know one!" Sharp tongue, must've got it from his grandpa. "Yeah? Well you get it from him, not me!"

Morty gestured over to him "I don't know him." He looked at me with those big doe eyes, how the fuck he could look at me with such trust, I have no clue. "You're my grandpa Rick." What? I felt my expression soften without my permission. This fucking kid…what did he think he was saying? There was no way he knew what he was saying or else he's just even fucking stupider than I thought, and that's saying something. I'm a fucking asshole to him, I know that! I insult him on the daily! I'm the worst fucking kind of person! A grandpa is someone who's supposed to be fucking decent, not some kind of fucked up manipulative person who's irrationally attached to you! So how the hell…his voice, which seemed a lot less annoying now, broke through my haze "Rick and Morty, 100 years." Jesus fucking Chirst. This kid was too pure for this world. He deserved a better grandpa.

Prime's voice, which was a lot more annoying, brokes my train of thought "This place totalllyyy might blow up by the way! Here'sssss a buncha countdowns!" A bunch of numbers appeared "One of them is probably accurate…"

Morty's eyebrows furrowed, I couldn't take him seriously when he was angry, he made this little face! "Well, I'm leaving!" He went in the spaceship. Well fuck, what kind of grandpa would I be if I let him save them on his own? I went in the driver's seat "If you're going to do it at least do it right!" I chastised. Morty smiled "You'll help me save my moms!?" I scoffed "Whatever." I felt something wrap around me. I tensed up and saw Morty hugging me "Thanks Rick." I scoffed "It's nothing, okay?" He let me go and I flew over to help Space Beth.

[lampiche]

Thoughts on episode 4 of the Ave Mujica anime

Hello everyone! I've been slowly but surely catching up on the episodes I missed, but I need to get my thoughts about episode 4 out before I could begin to watch episode 5. i'll admit, I procrastinated a bit on this, but after listening to KillKiss on repeat I got the urge to write... So here I am!

Here is the empty bingo!

Here is the updated version after watching the episode!

"Sakiko is the only one in Ave Mujica who is weirded out by Mutsumi's 'change of personality"

So, this one was pretty easy to guess. Sakiko and Mutsumi are childhood friends, so it makes sense for the former to notice any drastic changes within the latter. Although, I do have to say, it is surprising that until Mortis pointed out Sakiko's role in this change, she is never shown doubting herself or her actions. Throughout the episodes, we are shown that Sakiko is a little bit too focused on herself, and that it's one of her main flaws. Yes, she's a teenager, she can make mistakes, but it's undeniable that regarding Ave Mujica, she's only focused on what she wants. And it's been pointed out numerous times in the show now : by Nyamu, obviously, by Umiri in the third episode, and now even by Mortis, which shows us that it's a definitive flaw of hers, and not only a childish mistake. Not that it makes her horrible of course, Sakiko is a very interesting character especially because of her flaws.

"Sakiko apologises to Mortis for how she acted, wanting the 'real' Mutsumi to come back"

For this one, the first part did not happen, but the second did. What's interesting in the moment she says it, is that she says it with honesty. Suddenly, Sakiko seems to have realised that nothing's in her control anymore, and she couldn't care less about the band at that exact moment. She does not offer any solution, she doesn't even fight with Nyamu, all she cares about is Mutsumi. I think this shows that despite her selfish tendencies, this time, she knows she's made a mistake. She knows there's no point in continuing this band that's barely one anymore. All she cares about is her childhood friend. Despite all of Sakiko's flaws, I think her attachment to Mutsumi is sweet. She's still growing up though, so I don't think we're gonna see her break down about everything so soon.

"Sakiko puts her troubles with Nyamu on hold to try to understand what's going on with Mutsumi"

I initially put this one because I thought Nyamu and Sakiko would agree between themselves to stop fighting for some time, but I guess Sakiko just giving up on arguing with Nyamu because she wants Mutsumi back is alright too, lol.

"Mortis being a silly goose :3"

She was indeed being silly :3 I think it's pretty obvious that despite being a protective alter, Mortis is also a very childish one. She takes everything lightly, partly because she knows the audience will be satisfied with anything she does. And she can also throw tantrums, as seen when the band starts seriously considering breaking up. It seems she's very driven by the fact that her social and charisma skills can convince anyone, surely because Mutsumi's parents (are they also considered as her parents? /gen) are celebrities.

"Mortis being brutally honest with everyone in Ave Mujica and smiling through it all"

So. It's not that she was being brutally honest, but more that she was desperate to make everyone face their own words and actions. At the beginning of the episode, she definitely taunts Sakiko by repeating the words she (Sakiko) said to Crychic at the time. This comes from her hatred of Sakiko, and her desire to point out the hypocrisy in her (Sakiko) words. Sakiko has always talked about united destinies, yet she only acts for herself, so this time Mortis will take the role of Sakiko, and unite all of the destinies of the members of Ave Mujica. I think this line of thinking is also why Mortis told Uika to take care of Sakiko. Mortis doesn't want Sakiko to be a weight on Mutsumi, so she's pushing her away onto someone else. At the end of the episode though, Mortis is incredulous when she sees that everyone disregards their own words and actions without a care. In a way, at this moment, everyone is behaving like Sakiko, pushing away their own words and what they wished for. Only Nyamu is honest, as she was the only one who depended only on herself regarding the band.

In the end, it's Nyamu who tells her truth to Mortis and to Mutsumi in a way. She doesn't belong in Ave Mujica. Mortis can't play the guitar. Mortis is a talented actress. Mutsumi can play the guitar, but she's not 'good' at being in a band. Mutsumi is an acting genius. Overall, what I think Nyamu meant to say at that moment, is that Ave Mujica is only dragging Mutsumi/Mortis down. And it's something that she has hinted at before, in episode three, when she asked Mutsumi if she wasn't tired to always follow Sakiko around. In a way, maybe even Mortis believes it. Neither Mutsumi nor Mortis belong in Ave Mujica because it will only bring suffering to them. Which has been proved. However, I feel like it's also important to note that Nyamu has a relation with Mutsumi/Mortis that is similar to all the people who look up to them. They (Mutsumi and Mortis) are put on a pedestal for their genius, regarded almost as unreachable angels. However, nothing else except this genius is visible, and so they are being pushed away from what they really want to do (guitar/staying in a band) almost as though it's useless since they're such talented actors.

"Nyamu seriously considering quitting Ave Mujica"

Another easy one to get. With Nyamu's behaviour these last episodes, it was pretty obvious that she felt trapped in Ave Mujica. She was no longer doing things for herself, but for Sakiko, and it was only a matter of time until everything crashed down. Umiri's metaphor about the sparkler is scaringly accurate in that regard.

------------

That's all about my bingo, but this episode was crazy and I have more things to say about it. In particular, my favorite things about this episode : the music and lighting.

In the Sakiko and Mortis confrontation in particular, the use of carousel/carnival music was an insanely good choice. It gave the impression that Mortis was playing a game of making fun of Sakiko but also highlighted the 'ridiculousness' of the situation (as in, Sakiko slowly losing control of things and Mortis calming her down like she's saying nonsense). Also, the carnival music seems closely related to Mortis herself. We've seen already from the last episode that Mutsumi's inner world is very childish, like Mortis herself. The music could be a reflection of that. The more presence Mortis has, the louder the carnival music is, like some sort of looming reminder of her presence. The repetitive sounds are meant to be unsettling, and, in my opinion, they're meant to show us how Mortis makes Sakiko feel. Afterwards, the music turns more dramatic, right as Sakiko slowly realises that things are not right. Later, when Mortis recounts how she came to front, there's some notes of guitar, starting precisely when Mortis gets to the point where Mutsumi followed Sakiko and was yelled at by her. This guitar definitely reflects Mortis' anger, as we see her expression shift at that exact same time. It seems the music reflects both Sakiko's perception of the situation, but also Mortis' feelings. And, when Mortis arrives in the hotel room, another sort of carnival music starts up, emphasizing my previous point : Mortis is also announced through music, reinforcing her presence and influence over others. Once again, notes of guitar pop up, this time when Mortis asks to know what they were talking about, as if highlighting the pressure she puts on everyone, and especially Sakiko. It's very interesting, because the music is both linked to Mortis, but also to Sakiko's reactions. It shows how unsettled and maybe even scared Sakiko is of Mortis. Then, the guitar is omnipresent and the music turns reckless, most likely echoing the problems caused by Mortis not knowing to play the guitar, and reflecting Sakiko's own turmoil. Some other notes of guitar pop up when Mortis is on screen, but then the music changes when Nyamu starts confronting Sakiko.

As for the lighting, it's especially visible in Sakiko's and Mortis' confrontation again. Sakiko has her back turned to the red light, whereas Mortis is facing it. As a result, Mortis is periodically bathed in red light, highlighting the daanger she represents, although only to Sakiko. Here, we're very much put in Sakiko's shoes : Mortis looks unsettling, and Sakiko is afraid of her. However, we know through Mortis' words that she's not an 'evil' alter, she just hates Sakiko. As Mortis explains herself, the moon in hidden behind the clouds, and she bows, as if she is in another Ave Mujica performance. Here, the light of the moon meant that she would hide her intentions, but now that it's hidden, she can be as honest as she wants. While very obvious, this use of lighting is really good and striking.

As for additional things... Nyamu's moment with her mom was very cute. From what I understood, she seems to have four siblings (two younger ones and two older ones), plus her mom, which makes them a family of six, seeing as no dad is mentioned. I don't really want to fall into stereotypes, but it seems like a pretty good indicator that Nyamu comes from a not very wealthy family.

Also, Mortis' scream at the end of the episode chilled me to the bone. I honestly didn't expect it to vibrate through me that much, but it did, and I had to listen to it a few more times. Yuzumoon really is incredible.

--------

Finally, I'm done! Once again, don't hesitate to drop comments, I absolutely loved this episode, and I'm gonna try to post my thoughts about episode 5 as soon as possible!!

[cartoonsithinkr4adults]

Harvey Street Kids/Girls Forever! as vines

AUDREY EXPLAINS LOTTA WHAT LOVE REALLY IS

Dot: My marriage is fine, thank you.

Audrey: Dot, it's our HQ, so whatever you say it is how it is. But i think a blind man could see that Pinkeye's looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even i noticed.

Lotta: Come on, Audrey, don't talk about relationships like that.

Audrey: Listen, Lotta. I hate to break it to you but, what people call "love", it's just a chemical reactionnthat compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Lotta, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Lotta. Rise above, focus on yourself.

(Source: RICK AND MORTY)

STU FINALLY LOSES HIS VIRGINITY

Stu: Hahaha, YEAH! I'll have you know that my self-centered ass just scored woth the hottest, sexiest woman, in the whole world. (Of course it's Melvin's sister, Maria)

Pinkeye: I don't believe it.

(cut to Melvin, Zoe and Maria)

Maria: And, he only wanted to talk about me, he didn't waste my time talking about him. OH YEAH, and we had the wildest sex you could imagine! It wasn't until it was all over when i finally asked for something for myself!

Melvin: What the fuck was that?

(Cut back to Stu, Pinkeye and Audrey)

Stu: $200, i'm assuming it was for cab fair, and i'm assuming the cab had to take her to a different state, i'm assuming...mexico. ¿Why do you ask?

Audrey: Stu, i think that woman was, uh... ¿How should i put this?

Pinkeye: That bitch was a HOE!

(Cut again to Melvin, Zoe and Maria)

Maria: Don't you dare talk about Lord Stuart from Harvard Avenue like that! Besides, if he paid me with money, why was Fredo behind that sex tape? And if Fredo was behind that sex tape, why didn't Stu wear a condom?

Melvin: WTF?!

Stu and Maria (at the same time): RIGHT?

(Source: BRICKLEBERRY)

FREDO TRIES TO DIRECT A MOVIE

Maria: I'm having a real problem understanding my character.

Fredo: She wants to have sex.

Maria: What's her motivation?

Fredo: To have sex.

Stu: Well, did my character have a happy childhood?

Fredo: Just take off your clothes and F**K her in her F**KING C**T!

Stu: What? I couldn't hear you during all the beeps.

Melvin: Sorry, i was ordering some sushi in my phone.

(Source: BRICKLEBERRY)

JUANITA AND SUPERTODD MEET AND JOIN THE BLOOGEY BOYS

Pinkeye: Wow you guys, what a great Mulisha meeting, right? Just look at all these two new members.

Juanita: Yeah yeah yeah, shut your mouths up and eat the Mulishian Mac and Cheese.

Melvin: Who the fuck invited this chick? We are definitely anti-feminine!

Fredo: It's alright, she's mexican.

SuperTodd: This is awesome, guys. Our membership is at an all time high.

Juanita: And isn't having a multicultural Mulisha so much nicer?

Melvin: I'd say so, i would, uh, say so...but don't we need to make some sort of statement?

Fredo: Yes we do.

(later...)

Juanita: Okay guys, great news, the enemy has apologized, put down your guns, the assasination is a no go!

Melvin: Oh hell no, she can't get away with her wrongdoings! It's time to bust a nut in her tits, and by tits, i mean head.

Fredo: WE CAN DO BOTH, YOU KNOW!!!!

(Source: BRICKLEBERRY)

[junipermatten]

Submission

(Mentions of suicide, religious trauma, this is not a God Worshipping post, but it is honest.)

Submission. Noun. 

The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. 

I’ve been told it’s easy. 

To submit.

To give up the power and the control

To take a raised, clenched fist

And lower it

Soft to the touch

It's supposed to be easy.

Or, easier than control should be

But some of us weren't born that way

Some of us weren’t chosen to be gentle

Weren’t chosen to laugh, play, 

Be soft to the touch

Some of us, 

We unlucky little bastards

Some of us God looked at 

And said

“You.”

“You will know struggle.”

“There will be a fire in you that will never settle, never burn out.”

“And it will consume you.”

“And you’ll hate every minute of it.”

“Hate yourself for it.”

“You.”

I don’t know why God chose me

I'm not strong enough for this

I'm not strong enough to carry the weight of others

I can barely hold my own head up some days

Others I can’t get out of bed.

It's not my fault that control is my only relief. 

They say submission is easy, but I have a feeling those people have never had to control the world around them just to feel safety

Or comfort

I have a decade’s experience in keeping myself safe.

Why should I give that up?

No one can save me.

No love can fix the stains on the bathroom sink

Or the tugging feeling in my mouth

My neurons shooting their way through my brain at light speeds

No gentleness can fix the broken mirror

Or the blood all over my knuckles

Or the cracked, crooked reflection staring at me

Watching

Waiting

I don’t know how long it'll be before my clenched fists connect with shattered sky again

And you think that giving up would save me

Should I give, then?

Break down these crimson adamant walls

Let you cradle me?

Just like you did when I was a child, right?

Sitting on my bedroom floor

My back to that stupid lime green wall my brother painted

Crying because the rope broke before it could hold me?

You were there, right?

I had to go ask my mom for scissors

Because I couldn't get the rope off my neck

I told her I was making a necklace. 

I was 10. 

You were there, yes?

When I started slitting my wrists?

Taking apart anything I could

Just to get my hands on something sharp.

Slitting the shit out of any skin I could get my hands on, really

Just because I couldn’t fucking stand myself.

I was 12.

You were there, right?

I could list so many times

I could go on for hours

Every heartbreak, failure, facade, falsehood I tortured myself with

Every heartbeat of mine is stained with the sin of it all

The sin of wanting more

And that's the worst fucking part of it

Some deep, sick part of me wants more

I want to feel the tension rise as tendons snap and bone breaks

Unraveling at the seams

Blood boiling

My heartbeat screaming

Breaking its way out of my chest to the floor

I want to slam my head into the concrete

The sink

This stupid fucking mirror

I want to taste the brain matter running down my face

The blood all over my skin

My flesh in pieces around my body

I want to hurt in ways I could never come back from. 

I want to scream until i give out

Just so you’d forgive me. 

I went through so much

And you don’t make mistakes, 

Right?

Nothing happens for no reason,

Right?

So why?

Why did I have to go through all of that?

I was so little.

Do you know how little 10 is, 

Yahweh?

Do you, in all your infinite years, understand how little I had lived?

Mary was just a teen when she gave birth to your beloved Yeshua

Ave maria, gratia plena, dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus 

Et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. 

Sancta Maria, mater dei

Ora pro nobis peccatoribus 

Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae

Amen. 

The Holy Mary.

She’s praised constantly for being so young and going through so much

What do I get?

What. Do. I. Get?

What do I get for destroying myself for you?

I would lie awake at night fantasizing about gutting myself on an altar.

All for you

A perfect little blood sacrifice, right?

Perfect little sheep

I made sure my wool was so clean

Pure and white as snow

I made sure my flesh was ready

That the knife would cut through as smooth as possible

My blood is the most beautiful crimson as it runs down my body

Why is that not enough for you??

.

.

.

Don’t you think if you could hate yourself into healing, you’d be healed?

Breaking something, breaking yourself is easy.

Putting something back together takes more than glue.

Sew up the seams of your soul, child, and stand strong. 

Yes, you have struggled.

And yes, I was there.

And look how beautifully you’ve grown.

You’ve fought so hard against your upbringing,

Do not think it was for naught. 

You ask if I know how little you were,

As if 100 isn't a child to me,

My gaze is infinite,

The universe stretched underneath my fingertips like clay.

I know what you have done

And I love you anyways.

I can’t fix the broken mirror, 

But I can give you the strength to look at your reflection despite it.

Come back.

[dylanpizzapie]

Obi-Wan's heart pounded against his ribs, each word Anakin uttered a blow. He had never seen Anakin like this, so utterly broken, so devoid of hope. The forced smile, the eerie calmness, it was all a facade, a desperate attempt to justify the unthinkable.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said, his voice trembling slightly, "you are not a burden. You are my brother. I care about you."

Anakin chuckled, a hollow, rasping sound. "Brother? You'll be better off without me, Master. No more reckless missions, no more disobeying orders, no more near-death experiences because of my stupidity. You can finally have peace."

"I don't want peace if it means losing you!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, stepping closer. "The Jedi Order, the Republic, they need you, Anakin. More importantly, I need you. You bring a light to my life that I can't imagine being without."

Anakin flinched, his grip tightening on the lightsaber. "Don't lie to me, Obi-Wan. You know what I'm capable of. I've seen it. I am it. A monster."

"No, Anakin," Obi-Wan insisted, his eyes pleading. "You are not a monster. You are a good man, a brave Jedi, a loyal friend. You have darkness within you, yes, but you also have immense light. It's the light that defines you, Anakin. It's the light we all see."

"The light will be extinguished," Anakin whispered, his voice thick with despair. "Vader will consume it all."

"Then fight it, Anakin! Fight the darkness! You have the strength, I know you do. You've overcome so much already." Obi-Wan reached out a hand, his touch gentle, hesitant. "Let me help you, Anakin. Let us help you."

Anakin stared at Obi-Wan's outstretched hand, his eyes filled with conflict. He wanted to believe him, wanted to be saved from the darkness that threatened to engulf him. But the memories of Mortis, the visions of his future, were too strong, too terrifying.

Suddenly, a voice echoed through the deserted corner of the temple. "Anakin!"

Ahsoka, followed closely by Rex, burst into the space, their faces etched with worry and determination. Padme was close behind.

"Snips?" Anakin's voice was barely a whisper, his eyes widening in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here for you, Skyguy," Ahsoka said, her voice firm but gentle. "We read your message. We know what you're going through."

Rex nodded, his face grim. "We're not going to let you do this, General. We're your brothers, your friends. We'll stand by you, no matter what."

Padme stepped forward, her eyes filled with tears. "Ani," she whispered, "I understand. I understand why you pushed me away. But I love you. And I'm not going to let you throw your life away."

Anakin looked at them, at Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex, and Padme, his heart aching with a mix of love and despair. They were all here, risking everything for him. How could he hurt them like this? How could he subject them to the horrors he knew were coming?

He took a step back, shaking his head. "You don't understand," he said, his voice strained. "I'm too dangerous. I'll hurt you all."

"We know the risk, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, stepping forward again. "We're willing to take it. We believe in you."

Ahsoka nodded, her eyes shining with determination. "We're not afraid of you, Skyguy. We know who you really are. And we're not going to let you give up on yourself." She held out her hand. "Come on, Anakin. Let's go home."

Anakin hesitated, his eyes darting between Ahsoka's outstretched hand and the lightsaber in his own. He looked at Padme, her eyes filled with unwavering love and hope. He looked at Rex, his loyal friend, standing ready to fight by his side. He looked at Obi-Wan, his mentor, his brother, his unwavering support.

And in that moment, something shifted within him. A flicker of hope ignited in the darkness, a spark of defiance against the inevitable. Maybe, just maybe, they were right. Maybe he wasn't destined to become Vader. Maybe he could fight the darkness, with their help.

Slowly, hesitantly, he lowered the lightsaber. His hand trembled as he reached out and took Ahsoka's hand.

"Home," he whispered, his voice filled with a newfound resolve. "Let's go home."

[slightlytoastedbagel]

ok uhhh 11/12 thoughts

episode 11 is fairly good. on its own. the concept of uika/hatsune spending an entire episode just on a stage works with what the show does with the acting segments of their performances. but when put into the context of there being 13 episodes in full and half of the main cast not getting any real development that isn't one scene stating their full backstory and treating it like that's all you need to understand a character (coughs umiri) I really wish this was either shortened or just. had the show been more episodes it probably would be ok but whatever. also uika being absent for most of the season, while effective in building to this episode, also falls flat again because it makes it feel like mutsumi/mortis and the stuff with mygo and everything up to this point was just. thrown out last minute. and mutsumi literally does not speak once in this episode when, just the episode prior, she and mortis supposedly fused (I'm not happy with that either btw). idk to me it feels like they couldn't figure out how to tie uika's storyline in with the rest of the plot so needed to cut her out until episode 11. which if you need to do that is a bit worrying.

I'm going into my thoughts on the 3/5 of the band that aren't getting anything these two episodes now because I sort of hinted at my frustrations. umiri and nyamu and mutsumi are probably the ones I find most interesting and they just. decided to throw them aside. umiri is the character we have the least on and I thought maybe. with how she was the one to push the band reuniting they were going to give her more but as I mentioned the only significant scene I can think of that she specifically has is telling nyamu her entire tragic backstory in a cafe for about a minute. which puts this episode into question because why can't we have this for umiri too??? speaking of nyamu she's also not safe from the barely having anything party because what the earlier episodes built up has become essentially. nothing now? she's an actor now. yup. also she's back in the band because mortis is there. I really like the stuff with nyamu and mortis could we get more of them please? oh wait. mutsumi is the one I feel most frustrated with because she's my fav and the episodes relating to her, aka most of this season, were really good and I loved what they did with the mygo and crychic stuff (I really like crychic) but to have everything end with a scene that happens in the middle of a song without any buildup or any mention of it afterwards is. ughhhhhhh.

(if they are intending to go into them more in the game I just want to say I think that's stupid. because they are assuming people who watch the anime will then want to play the game which. is the intent of the show but still and also do they not have other stories in mind for them? did they not think of anything else for 2/5s of their characters so had to put the one story they have in the game? this is something that mainly gripes me but with mygo and the sekai main stories they are standalone and feel like they give every character some care. you can enjoy mygo without the game stuff. the sekai main stories are introductions to the cast. I do not know nyamu and umiri in the same way I know the other three and I am not waiting for game events when they could have given us this in the anime that serves as an origin story) (going further into mygo comparisons the band reuniting here is not nearly half as satisfactory for anyone and I almost wish they never did. but they gotta be in the game so oh well)

uhhh anyway I like this episode on its own I just wish they handled it's. well handling. better. also I don't like That Bit but moving on.

I am. a bit mad that sakiko doesn't feel even a bit conflicted about learning the truth. she spent a year working to help her father and herself, cut herself off from all of her friends and when confronted with the person who is responsible for all of that she. barely reacts at all? this is the sakiko that will refuse to communicate normally with anyone and throws herself endlessly into worse situations for herself and now here she's not allowed to be even slightly angry with hatsune? she's just choosing to forget everything like it hasn't shaped who she was to this point? this is the last episode before the finale and the way they're wrapping up the conflict that has hung over everything for 25 episodes is the character at the centre of it all processing none of it. the entire story means nothing. they just threw everything away at the end. maybe they will address this down the line but again. this is not a satisfying conclusion to me. hatsune is right in this case. what has happened to sakiko is tragedy after tragedy and if things had been different with how sakiko treated soyo (you know. her friend and bandmate who she hurt and regretted hurting but still left in the dust) it would maybe make sense but here?? this is not the same character. she didn't even want to reform the band but now the narrative is acting like she does. she wanted crychic back. but now she is apparently only upset about hatsune not agreeing to go back to the band.

uhhhh that's really all from this episode. everything is just ok now? when it really shouldn't be?? and sakiko didn't want the band back before this so why did she do a 180??? and we're really not addressing anything about anyone else???? the letter to tomori was nice at least. even if I really don't think the entire episode makes sense. I guess I'm just disappointed more so. the supposed revolution to the entire story omits over half of the band and the two it focuses on took 12 episodes to reach the conclusion of "let's forget everything". I guess they couldn't get too dark within the game so have to make it suddenly happier in the final episode but seriously. what the fuck.

[latenightmeteorite]

07/26/24

Just went to new student orientation. I had sooo much information thrown at me at once man I don’t even know. Barely any of it is going to be retained man I don’t even remember most of the names I learned. I made some friends tho! And I feel a bit less nervous about it than I did before. Don’t get me wrong i’m still fucking terrified but now I know a bit more about what to expect. At least now I can be excited and terrified at the same time.

I really wish my parents would get their shit together so I could get through this. She promised me I would have a car to get to college but now it’s less than three weeks away and here we are. My dad keeps changing his story and just straight up lying and not communicating and just generally being a pain in the ass to everyone around him. I don’t think they understand how much this is stressing me out. I don’t think he really cares.

I visited my band camp for a couple hours this week. God I miss them so much. I never imagined it would hurt like this. I’m still in denial a little bit tbh. My last shift is on Sunday! Yay! It’s 8 hours straight. Not yay. But seriously I’m ready to get out of there. I’m gonna miss all my girlies but will not be missing the work. I seriously don’t know what they’re going to do once I leave because there’s not really anyone to take my shifts. But that’s not my fault and not my problem. He’s known when I’m leaving for months. Bro is in more denial than I am.

I got invited to go to the casting call for Arx Mortis! I’ve wanted to be a scare actor for years man I’m so mf excited. I’m a bit worried about how it’s going to play out since yk I don’t really know what I’m doing but fingers crossed I guess. At least I finally have the time to do it without games and stuff. Ouch.

I’ve cried twice today about leaving Chloe. I can’t fucking do it man. Sure I made some new friends the past couple of days but I looked for her in every one of them. I can’t imagine my life without her I don’t know what I’m going to do I don’t know how I’m going to survive. She’s worried I’m going to find someone to replace her like that’s even possible. That bitch is my soulmate. There is no one like her. I don’t think I could live if we start drifting apart. I’m so scared to lose her I love her more than she’ll ever know.

Less than three weeks until I leave everything I’ve ever known. That’s not enough time. I’ll try to make the most of it. I’ll try not to worry as much about the future. I’ll try and inevitably fail at not crying about it every other day too. I’m actively crying as I write this post btw.