#[[ Vi and Vander did their best with her but she was still exposed to a lot ]]
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Memories of my childhood
Bold all that apply to your muse. Repost, don't reblog ! TW: contains mentions of abuse / neglect / death / trauma
scraped knees, silent tears in a locked room, slamming doors, pervasive loneliness, a dog barking, rain on a metal roof, flinching at movement, the creak of an old house, forced laughter, wandering in the dark woods, wondering how you made it through, sudden loss, trying to make sense of the noise, hiding what you love to protect it, trying to explain but your words falter, invaded privacy, confusion at the pain, running barefoot in the grass, wondering what you did wrong and coming up with nothing, realizing you aren’t a priority, grass stains on white clothing, trying to earn love you will never have, being threatened over the smallest mistake, secrets you are warned not to share, the feeling of never being good enough, the hope things might someday get better, grief that aches in your bones, childish dares and pranks, the sense that your body isn’t yours, shame and guilt that aren’t yours to carry, sledding down a frozen hill, absentmindedly following snakes through the grass, punching a tree until your knuckles bleed, tears over every dead creature you find, searching out small places you can hide… just in case, climbing the tallest tree so they can’t touch you, the feeling of something tainted under your skin, a curious child told to stop asking, floral dresses, body tensing at approaching footsteps, anger with nowhere to go, brief escapes from the chaos, the purr of a contented cat, taking the blame to keep the peace, being told you’re too sensitive, the creaking springs of a trampoline on a sunny day
tagged by: @vastayan--vigilante [[ thank you!! ]] tagging: Steal it from me !
#[ ooc :: dash games ]#[ headcanons :: Jinx ]#[ v. Just a girl with explosive dreams ; Powder verse :: Jinx ]#[[ Powder didn't have the best childhood ]]#[[ growing up in Zaun is hard for everyone ]]#[[ since it's a world where you have to grow strong to survive ]]#[[ Vi and Vander did their best with her but she was still exposed to a lot ]]#[[ after Silco took her in she was even less sheltered ]]#[[ not to mention the aftermath of the trauma of being responsible for her adopted family's death ]]#[[ and Vi's rejections / abandonment ]]
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First off, love this idea! it’s so sad but sweet at the same time. even if it wasnt a request, i’ll do it anyway.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀/> フ
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/` ミ_xノ
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/ ヽ ノ
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~ Before Vander died, you, Jinx, Vi, Claggor and Mylo were like a real family.
~ You’re Vander’s childhood friend since literal BIRTH, other than Silco. You’ve told each other your dirtiest, juiciest, most chaotic secrets, although you shit on each other about them.
ex: (this example will be a modern one) you, Vander and the children decide to play Exposed. when the gossip tab showed up, you were absolutely offended. The phrase read: “[Name] had 23 backup crushes.” Everyone started laughing and you threw your shoe at Vander. the print of [shoe size] was on his cheek for three straight days.
~ You were a really good singer and you always sang while cooking or running the bar with Vander. You’d always sing for Powder whenever she was upset or couldn’t sleep. In her eyes, your voice is that of an angel’s. Vi never asked you to sing for her, but every time you did she was still mesmerized. Vander always flexed on people for that.
ex: “Yep! That’s [Name]! They’re my best friend! They’re voice is better than any siren’s!” He’d say. “Vander! I’m not that good! Geez!”
~ When Vander died, you went mute. You refused to talk, sing, or hum. Not one noise made it out of your mouth.
~ Before Silco found her, Powder would beg you to say something. Sing at least ONE note. But you wouldnt make a sound.
TIME SKIPPPPPP
~ Years later, you’re still mourning Vander’s death and have not spoken a single word since then. You were walking down the street to your house when something hit you over the head, making you black out.
~ You woke up with a pounding headache, strapped down to a chair. You looked around frantically to see if anyone was around or if you had a way out. The answer to both prompts was no. You sighed and closed your eyes. *Why the hell am I here..?* you thought.
~ Jinx came out of the shadows, jumping down from a beam in the ceiling. she held a knife to your throat and stared at you with curious, crazy eyes.
“Hello again, Mom!” She cooed, playing with the knife’s handle in her palm.
*Powder…?* you thought.
You were interrupted by the young girl that had been your daughter figure all those years ago.
“Oh! I’m Jinx now, by the by!”
~ You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Jinx? What had Mylo put in her head..?
~ For hours on end after that, Jinx would inflict various types of pain on you. All she’d ever wanted was to hear at least SOMETHING come out of your mouth. Anything. Even if it had to be a scream of pain…
You’re Very Welcome!
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Seeing the amount of interest this post about how and why Caitlyn loves Vi got so much attention compared to like, 99% of my stuff and rambles, I’m gonna take this as an excuse to ramble a little bit about the way Vi loves Caitlyn cause it tears my heart just as much if not maybe more.
One of the main things to highlight about Vi is, the inmeasureable amount of violence and tragedy she has seen and lived through. It’s obvious, from the moment we see her, Vi’s life is tainted blood and dirt. It’s a series of events that show through that turn her into a roughened, tough, violent teenager, later, an adult. It’s hard to be who you want when the world gives you nothing but your fists and scraps, and forced to grow up fast, in spite of everything Vander did to make sure they could all grow up in the best enviroment he could give Vi and the other kids, he’s aware that her fate is a mentality just like his, one of protector and leader, something neither he nor Vi could be spared from.
Like I mentioned in the previous post, plus the events of the end of Act 1 and everything that happened in between it and the start of Act 2, Vi grows up to be someone who doesn’t trust anybody and who only ever resorts to any kind of physical contact for either intimidation or violence, she has no space to be vulnerable, not emotionally nor physically.
At least, not until this happens:
‘‘You gonna help me out, Cupcake?’’ is alot more important than at first glance. It’s not only the first time Vi openly asks for help from Caitlyn, but she does that from anyone. Even in a joking tone, whether in any other circumstance she’d brushed it off or it was a command (mostly as the leader of Mylo, Claggor and Powder).
Vi willingly and openly expresses that she is vulnerable and needs help, and asks it from Caitlyn. She still keeps up her tough, cool-under-pressure attitude, but it’s a good step.
It’s most likely if not definitely, the first sign of compassion and the first physical touch she receives that isn’t violent or double-edged.
Later on it’s reinforced, as Caitlyn gives her the potion and gently holds her chin, as she again stops her from lounging forward in pain, as she holds Vi’s face and comforts her from the bolt of pain it sends her through, it’s when it hits. How is someone to be compassionate, to be affectionate and comforting, if they’ve never received so? How can you give what you’ve never been given?
After that we only see Vi be physically affectionate with two other people: Jinx and Ekko, in both times, reuniting. She’s relieved to see them, and so, hugs them, and gets hugged back. But, in both of those times, during the fight with the Firelights and during the fight on the bridge, respectively, it ends up going terribly wrong; Jinx becomes very violent herself, something Vi had never seen and Ekko ends up wounded and fighting Jinx, maybe even dying as far as her knowledge and assumptions go.
However, with Caitlyn, it goes differently in two major ways.
The first being her farewell with Caitlyn on the Bridge (shoutout to my homie Ekko looking away in the back); this is the first Vi asks for physical contact from her, she knows she won’t see her again, so while hugging Ekko, she looks at Caitlyn and gazes at her, who had been looking away and standing alone, to come forward. She reaches for the back of Caitlyn’s neck, caresses it, closes her eyes and brushes away a lock of hair and caresses her cheek before she pulls away. It’s a series of very intimate acts of love, no matter how small they may seem, that show Vi has grown to care and trust Caitlyn enough to be open with the way she acts.
The second, even more so. She’s on a bed, she’s curled, her hands rest, completely defenseless, but she doesn’t move away, in fact, she mirrors Caitlyn, she exposes herself even more so than ever before, which is an in-moment match to her telling Caitlyn about her past, her childhood, and even what she perceives as her guilt or sins.
And then, of course, comes the fullscreen-framed moment where Caitlyn touches Vi’s cheek, who closes her eyes, holds Cait’s hand, and they gaze into each other, not in a mirror, but in an equal way (as in both of them seen from the same perspective for the audience).
Through physical contact, it becomes so obvious. Vi fell for Caitlyn because for once, she didn’t always have to be tough with someone. She could be hurt, she could be truthful, she could be gentler and softer, not all were concrete walls, scarce food and blood on her fists, with Caitlyn it became tenderness and a warm hand soothing her pain. For someone who’d been denied of humanity and mercy, she loves the one who cared and fought for her, who tried to protect her, as much as Vi got pushed to protect and care for others.
#Vi#Caitlyn#Caitvi#Vicait#Piltover's finest#ramble#meta#arcane#lol arcane#hello i am once more in my feelings
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