#[ where it states that i don't want to discuss meta/headcanons with people ]

[despairforme]

I have some proof that nnoitra isnt stupid, just a dumbass sometimes:

nnoitra was one of the few arrancar that was fully aware that aizen had no intention of helping them; he embodies despair because he lacked the ability to connect with others and pushed away everyone that made an attempt to get close to him because he knew that they were all going to die anyway and didn't want to get attached to anyone. nel's constant refusal to acknowledge him as a warrior did not help him strive to be a better person and in fact had the opposite effect, as he resigned himself to become the beast because it's all anyone has ever told him he is. the one person he did manage to connect with and the one person who gave a shit about him got cleaved in half directly in front of him; once again, leaving him completely alone

[ Hello anon! I don't like discussing meta and/or headcanons. We are all entitled to our own interpretation of canon. If you don't see Nnoitra as stupid, that's completely valid, and you are free to write your own version of Nnoitra and portray him in the way you wish.

Please know I've been writing Nnoitra for almost 9 years now, and I guarantee you there is nothing you can tell me about his canon that I have not already interpreted, so presenting "proof" to me won't make me change my portrayal or my thoughts about him.

This is my view on canon. Not saying this is the "correct" view, because we are all just the audience and it's not up to us to decide what's the right or wrong canon, that's only for the creator. But, again - this is my portrayal of Nnoitra.

I disagree that what you are presenting is "proof" that Nnoitra isn't stupid.

Nnoitra was not "fully aware" that Aizen had no intention of helping them. His belief that Aizen would not help him had nothing to do with his intelligence, but only with his negative outlook on life. Nnoitra is the embodiment of despair, which means NO HOPE. It goes without saying that he would not see Aizen as a savior that could free Hollow. Like he says "there will be no salvation for us". That's what he believes. It has nothing to do with him "not falling for Aizen's plans".

Nnoitra's inability to connect with others, again, doesn't make him more or less intelligent. It also is not a conscious choice. He simply doesn't want to connect with anyone, because he is a solitary person who prefers to be alone. A mantis doesn't hunt in pack. It's true that in my portrayal he believes that everyone will die as a result of Aizen's plan, but - that is the whole reason why he follows him in the first place. Because he wants to die. He doesn't care that all the other Arrancar / Espada will die as well.

"He didn't want to get attached to anyone". He never thought he would be, so that was never a problem that occurred to him. With Tesla, who became the only person who he did connect to, it was actually a surprise to him that he ended up "caring" about someone. But, it's not like he actively avoided others because he was "afraid of connection".

He is not a beast because that's what everyone tells him he is. He IS a beast. He is very animalistic and very close to a more monster-like Hollow. He doesn't get to be "redeemed". He is a villain. He's supposed to be a villain, and not a misunderstood person who "just needed to be loved and told he's not a monster". He's a monster.

It's correct that Nelliel didn't help him become a better person. She did bring out his worse side. Again, this has nothing to do with intelligence.

And the final point - yeah, Tesla died in front of his eyes, and yes this did impact him, but again - it's got nothing to do with him being smart or dumb.

I really dislike arguing with people about my portrayal of Nnoitra, and i hate "explaining" my take on canon, because I feel like I'm lecturing others. So, please know that THIS IS JUST MY INTERPRETATION, THIS IS WHAT I BASE PARTS OF MY PORTRAYAL OF NNOITRA OFF OF. You can have your own take on canon. You can write Nnoitra however you want. But you can't change how I write and see him. ]

[searingenvy]

a mother's love

a tharja meta.

It is not an unknown fact to those who have played Awakening (or at the very least has seen the way Noire is as a character,) that Tharja is a...complicated character when it comes to the subject of motherhood. In this meta I'll be going over Tharja's view of the concept, both past and present.

It is important to note that I'm not trying to defend Tharja as a mother, but rather I'm trying to explain where she's coming from and how she plans on moving forward in the future.

This will include mentions of other people's characters to some degree, namely Donnel and Noire (who we do not have at this very moment), and any mentions of the former have been discussed with the current mun beforehand! As for Noire, I will only be using information pulled from the scripts (both ENG and JP, with distinctions listed).

Not everything said in this will be 100% in game facts but rather headcanons, but I will try and use in game text in order to back up the idea.

First and foremost, we have to understand how exactly Tharja views her family. Not the one she brought with her to the Academy, but her mother and father from Plegia specifically. We know they exist, and we know they're alive...and that's pretty much it. They're brought up in her C support with Kellam, where she sends them a letter back home. In his B support she expresses concern-- so over all Tharja does care for her family, even if she's reluctant to show it.

As for the type of people her parents are...we can't say for sure. This part is purely headcanon, but I like to believe that though they were not terrible people, they were much like Tharja herself-- closed off and unwilling to outwardly show their affection. This is mostly just backed up by the fact that her parents are also spellcaster and are most likely dark mages. I'm mostly backing up this idea with the line below.

Tharja: I come from a family of powerful mages. They can usually take care of themselves.

Obviously she could just mean in terms of their pure raw strength, but with how Tharja acts, I feel like it would make sense for her parents to also be the type who keep to themselves and taught her that the person you should always rely on is yourself.

They also seemed more preoccupied with teaching her dark arts as well. In her supports with Noire Tharja states that she was taught how to perform dark magic since she was just a baby. Something that will also come back later

Tharja: Hardly a problem. I was instructed in the dark arts from infancy. Even my umbilical cord was cut with a curse.

TL;DR: Tharja grew up in an environment where relying on yourself was the most important lesson. She was cared for, but never shown the love and care that is typical between a parent and child. They also taught her dark magic at a very young age.

With that...Noire. She's a touchy subject. For starters, Tharja finds the idea of her even wanting a child to be ridiculous-- but post game, especially after marrying Donnel, the idea of having a family becomes more and more appealing to the point where I headcanon that she likely asked about children first.

Where things get complicated is that future Tharja's motives are weird. Really weird. We know that Tharja didn't want Noire learning dark magic or curses. Below is an English translation of the Japanese script! Credit here!

Tharja: I didn’t want to teach my daughter… who was so innocent and trusted her mother without a doubt in her mind… anything like curses. Curses are… very dangerous. My future self… surely must have thought the same way as well.

Future Tharja was not a good mother-- and even in game Tharja still performs curses and hexes on Noire...I don't even really have an explanation for that besides the fact that Tharja does it to pretty much everyone in the army. I'd like to personally believe that her supports with Noire take place after her supports with her father (which is where mentions of the cursing her as a child take places) where she would eventually stop when realizing her future self's motives for not teaching Noire magic...but I have no proof of this. At all. Just a personal thought.

She also is a grieving widow for a lot of the future it sounds like-- and when losing the love of your life (especially for someone like Tharja who barely even knew what love was before the events of Awakening,) it gets hard to think logically. I imagine a lot of those hexes and curses post Donnel's death were for the sake of keeping Noire safe or growing stronger as to not lose her as well.

But we aren't really here to defend future Tharja or explain her 100%-- rather, I want to look at how Noire coming to the past and telling Tharja about her future self shapes how she views her role as a mother.

Tharja, for the first time in her life, is experiencing what a true family feels like. Donnel isn't exactly one to hide his feelings, and he loves his wife above all else-- and with the young Noire also existing, Tharja is determined to not allow the same fate to happen to her daughter. There will be no talisman, no curses or hexes (unless to help ig), and she will admittedly be a bit more protective of her. She is opening up to the idea of love and family, just

If either Donnel or Noire were to die there's no telling if things would end up any differently-- but for now all she can do is do her best as a mother, even if she doesn't exactly know what it means to be a good one. She's lucky to know what mistakes need to be fixed, and if she were to ever meet the future Noire again...she would want to make things right once more, even if she still has a hard time outwardly showing love to her.

[esther-dot]

So I was reading a bunch of your anon asks about R/L (not spelling out names so this doesn't show up in searches lol) and I agree with that anon that said the fandom forgets that GRRM is not some woke author. Way too many metas are written on the premise that he wrote this series with the sensibilities of a 20-something millennial and not a 50 year old man who conceived most of these plot points in the 90s. The refusal for certain fans/theorists (not including you in this I find your analysis and critiques very good and thoughtful) to call out and critique Martin's deeply problematic elements frustrates me to no end. It's okay to say certain things did not age well and the R/L/E dynamic is chief among them. Giving R's wife a gratuitously sexually violent death and a gratuitously gruesome death to her baby and toddler did not age well. Then proceeding to shit on her by having her husband's family's loyalists state that she was sickly and not good enough for him did not age well. Then proceeding to spend five books with those same characters depicting R as the Westerosi Prom King/Football Quarterback/Prodigal Son with basically zero substantial or significant pushback did not age well. I keep on seeing people say, 'Well, no it's because it's all a part of George's Big Plan and Reveal and an example of the the POV trap so don't get preemptively mad at him.' The defense of him essentially being 'No, you guys don't get it...he's going to perfectly execute the story that only exists in mine and his head for 12 years and counting and then you will see how he always meant for R to be a POS and for R/L not to be some star crossed lovers romance.' Yeah, no. I'm not giving him credit for an unfinished story and the fact that some of his fans do this is baffling. We're at this point that even if Martin does reveal R was even a little morally grey, a subset of the fandom will continue defending him like their lives depend on it because they are so married to their headcanons because Martin has not provided any actual content in over a decade (the show whitewashing did not help either). I'm not even going to broach the subject of the white feminist pickmes in the fandom that do everything and anything to defend Lily White Lieanna from any accountability and pushback from her complicitness in what happened because that's a whole other can of worms. LOL. End of my rant I guess. lmao.

My aunt who is around the same age as Martin, wanted to watch Saturday Night Fever with me (I had never seen it). She remembered and loved the music, the dancing, the costumes, the pain of these characters who were trapped and looking for an escape. There were all these good things she wanted to share with me, but I was shocked by how casually they threw in a rape, and how cruel the protagonist was to the girl right after it happened. I could not understand how my liberal, well educated, very up with social norms, aunt wasn't as appalled as I was when she'd last seen it. But she had watched that movie when it came out, hadn't seen it since, so her reaction to it had been fixed in that moment. Like a time capsule.

That happened years ago, but anytime a discussion about R/L and what Martin would/wouldn't do comes up, I think about that, and I try to draw a line between my sensibilities and what he actually wrote because as you and my other anon point out, R/L was conceived in a certain moment, in a specific milieu, and it isn't the one we're currently in. So, while I certainly don't think Rhaegar is the guy that Targ fans believe him to be, I no longer believe Martin intends us to take the other extreme.

Rhaegar called the place where he took Lyanna "the tower of joy," and Martin would have to want us to think Rhaegar is a truly sadistic bastard if that's what he called the place he repeatedly, forcibly raped Lyanna. Considering what Martin has said about how he wants to write morally grey characters, how he has written Cersei, Tyrion, the Hound...I just don't buy that that's where he's going, not anymore.

More broadly, I’ve read a lot of literary analysis, I know how easy it is for people to write really, really interesting essays that I love, but in actually, have absolutely nothing to do with the book/poem etc that it’s discussing. It’s a beautiful thing that we each experience art uniquely, but it does mean we have to be careful when it comes to actually believing what we takeaway from something is the same as what they put in. There’s also a danger in thinking loving the art means we understand the artist’s mind. The same mind can produce something I love and something I hate. Experience that enough times and you realize, you can’t put parameters, a would/wouldn’t, on where they’ll take things.

And, even hardcore Martin fans acknowledge the racist issues with his writing, criticize how he sexualizes little girls...I don't think any of us need to defend him. We all know that these are issues with his writing, we may not agree that they will manifest in the worst way going forward, but it's possible. Unfortunately.

[tamelee]

Hi Tamelee,

Love your blog and thanks so much for the meta, these are a gold mine!

I am not sure if it was your blog or another that pointed out how jarring it is that Naruto would choose to get a new arm without Sasuke, since both of them are in agreement that they would share each other's burdens. And that it seems inherently a selfish choice for him to choose it while Sasuke refused.

I honestly never thought of it, because I assumed that since both of them were without arms for some time during the blank period and they discussed it and Sasuke chose not to since he didn't trust it would not fail in battle and Naruto agreed with him.

It's more of a realisation for me, since I just thought that they were both in agreement, but this other take made me wonder and hence I decided to send you this ask.

Long post:

Hi @helenarasmussen87 ,

Thankyou! I'm glad to read that ♡!

Oh, that would not have been me for sure. As you say, it was "a take" from someone because I can't think of a moment (at least in canon) where they.. discuss this matter. (Perhaps in 'Boruto'? If so then ignore the rest 😆)

And if they haven't discussed it, then don't you think that all talk regarding this are theories? We don't really know why Sasuke chose to not get a new arm. That's not to say that some theories are more probable than others but Naruto making a decision while disregarding Sasuke? That didn't happen whether we saw it or not because it wouldn't make sense for their characters. In their case, they've developed too much for it to be a possibility.

There are many in-character theories though, things that would make sense too.. but the problem with those as well is that it's just that: theories. Or, headcanons. E.g. Naruto never said that he'd get an arm because it'd be irresponsible otherwise as Hokage and Sasuke never mentioned that a missing arm would remind him of VotE2. (I'm saying it simply, the original theories go deeper than that, but you get what I mean..)

Naruto-Reddit is all in agreement with each other that Sasuke didn't get a new arm "to atone for his sins" and that it is "explicitly stated somewhere". On Twitter they even bring up Sakura and that it is to punish himself for her sake.. *insert major eyeroll* Although they can't tell you where any of this was stated. Of course, this also isn't true and don't mind the lack of reading comprehension..

Now what I think..

Well…

I like that our sub fandom, or the people who understand Sasuke's character can somewhat understand that Sasuke wouldn't necessarily want a new arm, need it to battle or feel the need to receive this.. "gift" from Konoha/Tsunade- or whatever.

As a SNS-fan I certainly enjoy many of the headcanons about this subject because most of them are based on canon material. Canon as in: the removal of it holds a lot of meaning, as much as the entirety of the story itself almost as it serves as a conclusion and beginning at the same time:

And yeah, there they were, finally.

This visual is incredible and I do think it is a reminder of sorts, but (I'm sorry..) I think the choice to not get the prosthetic has less to do with Naruto alone personally. Although he is part of it. Sasuke without Naruto is a practical character and given the entire story and the fact that they're separating at the end of the Manga.. (temporarily but also in preparation for its sequel :/ they ((shueisha)) tried at least ykwim) don't you think that suddenly receiving an arm from Konoha after they wanted to put him in jail and punish him for changing a corrupt system after they've failed him first, seems kind of like he'd be indebted to them? Like, "we're letting you go free because we've pardoned you and giving you an arm out of the kindness~ of our hearts.. so…." Yeah, no. And isn't is also true (not sure, because this was mentioned in 'Boruto' right?) that if something happened to it he'd need a new one? Meaning: he'd be depending on Konoha for an arm as they constantly are doing research on it and improving the thing.. so don't you think that Sasuke would be the type of character to just learn how to use his powers/weapons/Jutsu with one arm- if he could?

*gasp*

Which he can now? Instead of depending and being "sorta but not really" indebted to Konoha who then so kindly provided this new arm for him? "Despite him having been a rogue Shinobi who went against them"? < general narrative.

Yeah.

Which one sounds like a burden to you?? Seems like an easy choice to me.

But having said that, I don't think Sasuke minds it because of the way it happened and with who. He had no reaction to having lost his own arm, but when he saw Naruto lost his as well..

He looks shocked, defeated, turns away and then Kishimoto decides to cover his eyes and make Sasuke question Naruto again more out of desperation than anything else.. several times. It hurts and not just because he's bleeding to death.

There is so much meaning and symbolism behind the missing arm.

And that's the big difference. Not minding and holding the meaning/history closely as a personal matter or "resenting Naruto for getting an arm without him" as some posts here make it sound like is something else entirely. There is sort of a… jealous/bitter(?) tone to that which isn't necessary and doesn't suit him/them. There are things bigger than them and the fact that there are proves how important they are to each other. Growth in contrast as shown to the audience (us). Sasuke understands Naruto's connections as much as he does his own (including lack thereof) and the one they have with each other. If there wasn't they wouldn't have developed as much.

So I understand it, but there is one thing I dislike. The general fandom, without explanation is holding onto this idea of "Sasuke sinning" all because of one panel and seeing him without an arm is validation for them as if to say "see? He's feeling guilty, as he should! And that's why he doesn't have an arm." As I said before, they even make up entire theories relating this to.. Sakura? Who especially has nothing to do with it as Sasuke even says himself. (IN THE SAME PANEL LMAO!) It's depressing. Which, sort of fits the Shinobi life I guess. One who doesn't live for themselves.. that's the burden here. Not the missing arm. Apparently for this audience it is necessary to give it a panel or two because they take most things at face value or grab things out of context.

Sasuke did leave Konoha before the arm that was made for him was finished and Kishimoto did mention that notably because people would otherwise question it. This however, I find interesting because the question actually still remains.. "why?"

He simply says that he can't "miss this chance" to go travel, to see the world, go on a journey by himself and although that's true, that doesn't seem like the sole reason for rushing his leave, not staying in Konoha any longer and therefore not getting the arm that's almost finished. Sakura also says the arm is made out of Hashirama's cells- which is where things could get complicated.

And I believe, although I'm not sure about this, this is currently completely retconned in 'Boruto'. The whole "using of Hashirama's cells" is confusing to me because I've been reading theories and everyone is saying different things and 'Boruto' makes no sense anymore. I'd have to study it.. For now I'd say that Kishimoto deliberately chose to leave it and not go the route of figuring out how to work with it and what it would mean if Naruto/Sasuke have an arm made up of Hashirama's cells which they could potentially use for other things.

Why does he suddenly have an elbow?

And why does it look like that under the bandages?? 😆 (So natural, I mean) Why use bandages in the first place then? This is some BS!!

Also:

"Boruto" everyone. I don't know much about it yet but I'll read the damn thing when I get back from my travel, hence these screenshots- these are not my opinions/observations.

I think in conclusion that's why Sasuke refused the arm, but the reason for Kishimoto was much simpler and dismissive as it wasn't for him to deal with (he thought). And now 'Boruto' doesn't really know how to handle the lore regarding power dynamics at all, changing it to all kinds of scientific stuff to make it easier on them I guess.

But admittedly, I do like some of the SNS-headcanons.. *shrug*. I just take them for what they are.

[randomnameless]

"even if IS just said she was the villain and needed to be stopped, clear as day, people would reject it." Let's be real: the moment people started using "death of the author" to reject the Nintendo dream interview where IS confirms Supreme Leader is the villain, that's when we should've realized that people have already made up their minds and don't care anymore. It's like telling a flat-earther that the earth is not flat or trying to debunk a conspiracy theory to believers of that theory.

Tbh, I agree sometimes with disregarding the author's intent, especially in some games where the "author" wants to push "feels" and tells the olayer how they should react.

Take Berkut for instance, for a reason I still don't understand, SoV wants to paint him as a tragic figure, who ultimately redeems himself dying. You're supposed to feel bad for Berkut and sad for what happened, to the point where Alm, the Hero - who was challenged on earlier opinions - plainly states Duma is the reason why Berkut turned sour, and no one is here to tell him "uh no sorry to tell you but your cousin was a bona fide asshole".

Ditto for the devs's lunar interview about Clout's story being a "heart-warming story", like no, sorry, no matter how much you push for it, I personally don't think his story is heart warming, rather it's blood boiling.

Does it mean I use the "death of the author" like the people we're talking about?

Yeah, maybe!

But what is more gratting about those people isn't how they use DoA to make up their own canon and story (everyone can make headcanons!), but how they push their headcanon on everyone's lawns and asking for everyone else to treat it as the truth - the Aeneid is the perfect example, people really rec this fanfiction to have a "better understanding" of canon characters, or some people said it understands the characters better than the canon does. For a fanfic, sure, it's cool and all*, but to treat this as canon?

Like, there is no discussion possible between people who argue canon and others who argue using headcanons and imo that's the crux of the discourse bcs FE Fodlan is vague about 70% of its worldbuilding.

I don't like Berkut and believe he toasted Rinea because he loved being Rudolf's heir more than he loved her, but FE15 makes it uwu clear that Berkut apparently loved Rinea a lot and apparently torched her just because Duma promised him power, which makes somehow Duma the reason why Rinea was Bernie'd.

But you won't see me pop up in a discussion about FE15 or people talking about their favourite ships in that game to point out how Berkut burnt his fiancée at stake for "power" on his own volition - canon is canon - even when it blows - I'd rather rant about it and have my own HC in this space rather than piss canon-lovers/users with it.

Saying in your hcs Supreme Leader isn't the villain of the game?

Sure, do whatever you want, have a nice day, eat a sandwich, whatever. Maybe some people will join you, share your sandwich and you'll have fun developping hcs!

Saying in canon Supreme Leader isn't the villain and disregarding the dev's interviews?

That's going to be more problematic, in a way that this specific interview isn't subjective or open to interpretation (thus hcs, like Sylvia being FE4!Claude's relative or not), so people are going to disagree and be more vocal about it.

Some other blogs already explained it, but it seems like FE Fodlan attracted a lot of persons who aren't used to fandom, as in a place with transformative works and where making OCs and fics and having headcanons isn't "BaD" - so they try to retrofit canon in their headcanons because "fanfics" and transformative works are BaD etc etc (insert the general dislike for fanfictions from the early 2000s (?) and the regular/usual insults towards people who write fanfiction from the same era (them being fujos, etc etc)) so they're not writing fanfictions or arguing headcanons, no, they're just writing "totally meta pieces that are better than the canon".

Imo, the second you're disregarding canon to write something about a work, you're writing a fanfic (let it be a "real fic", random hcs, etc etc etc) and that's totally fine! You're not a "fujo degenerate" for not liking the canon and "rewritting" scenes, or building more stories about a character your like!

What's not "fine" is forcing everyone to adopt your headcanons and fanfictions - if the flower is red, you cannot force people to admit the flower is blue, otoh, if you write a story where the flower isn't red but blue, it's your story and you can whatever you want with it! Ditto with fanfic writers when someone argues canon against them, dude, you're reading a story where the author wrote the flower to be blue, like they gaf about the flower's canonical colour to be red - it's a fanfic!

Don't like, Don't read!

*not withstanding with the actual quality and body of the Aeneid, which isn't something I'd personally call cool or "alright", but that's another debate.

[hangmvnstrick]

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[priestbitmoved]

                                  [ ˑ ˑ ˑ ]          𝑷̲̅ 𝑹̲̅ 𝑰̲̅ 𝑬̲̅ 𝑺̲̅ 𝑻̲̅ 𝑩̲̅ 𝑰̲̅ 𝑻̲̅          :     AN INDEPENDENT, SELECTIVE,  AND PRIVATE WRITING BLOG FOR DONOVAN "DONNIE" WATTS,  AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER INSPIRED BY SOUTHWESTERN GOTHIC,  HORROR,  AND HEAVY METAL.     21+ ONLY, MINORS DNI.     TRIGGERING AND ADULT CONTENT MAY BE PRESENT,  PLEASE BE ADVISED.

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I )     this is a private writing blog for an original character, donovan " donnie " watts. any headcanons, lore or npc’s that you see crop up on this blog belong to me and i ask that you do not steal or copy them. be assured that i will know if you do attempt to do this. donnie and his extended universe are being worked into a novel i’ve been working on for well over a year now, as such, my in character writing here will be scarce. my main focus on this blog is to develop donnie’s character and his setting. meta, headcanon and development posts will be far more frequent here than any writing will be. i am also in full-time work, where my job is to spend my day writing. so, this blog will be in a state of permanent low-activity. this means i will likely take a long while to get back to thread replies or meme responses on the dash, though i am always available via the tumblr messenger to plot and to keep in touch. i value my friendships here and the development of ic interactions above all else. the writing is for fun and keeping up with my writing skills, and shall be treated as such.

please note that any in character writing will be in the past tense, and will be written in the same style i use for my off-tumblr projects, as i find that sinking into the habit of writing in overly flowery prose can often harm my writing overall. so, i will be looking to unlearn this habit.

II )     this blog is highly selective, and very mutually exclusive. i will be keeping my dash small and my following count the same. i frequently clear out my following list by softblocking. i want to make this blog as stress-free and as friends-only as i possibly can. i value my friendships here, i do not engage with the 'you don't owe anybody anything' mindset that seems to be so popular, because i believe that at the very least, you owe people your kindness, your compassion, your empathy, and your respect. i would ask that if you disagree with that, don't follow me. i also ask that minors dni. basically, if you’re under the age of twenty - one, i won’t be interacting for my own comfort!

i do not interact with anybody that insights hatred of any kind: this includes racism, ableism, antisemitism, homo / trans / xeno / islamophobia and any other forms of bigotry. if you, the mun, express any republican, tory, or right-wing views then you can kindly see your way off my blog. you’re not welcome here.

i will not be engaging in vague-posting or dash drama of any kind, though i will keep my ear to the ground about harmful individuals and block them. if any callouts of an extremely harmful nature cross my dashboard, i will act accordingly. i do not agree with petty callouts or cancel culture as a whole, so keep that away from my dashboard, i don't want to see it. if you have a problem with me or something i've said then please make an effort to reach out before posting a vague or attempting to involve others. i'm all about peaceful resolutions, i promise i'm not going to hold it against you if you’ve got a problem with me or something i’ve done or said. i only ask that you come to me and discuss it privately so we can resolve the issue like adults.

 a note for if i raise an issue with anybody:  i promise you that any issue i raise with my mutuals isn't intended to be a personal attack, regardless of my tone or my emotion in that moment. it is meant to communicate and open a discussion about said issue so we can work through it and resolve it as and when we can (as i 100% understand that talking about things going wrong can be mentally taxing and that we may need to take breaks to accommodate that. i would ask that we communicate that with one another instead of leaving things hanging in silence for prolonged periods. for me, that kind of thing is triggering. i come from a very loud, turbulent household where people don't healthily communicate their feelings and resort to guilt-tripping and anger to resolve things. i come to tumblr to escape this kind of energy. say how you feel. be upfront. i promise you i'm not going to take it personally if you do.) i'm not an unreasonable person. if i ever make a mistake i will 100% own up to that mistake, apologise and adjust my behaviour accordingly. i expect the same level of respect i give to be returned regarding this, especially with friends. acting like a teenager about any of this, and ignoring any attempts i make to reach out to you, will result in a block. if you're not willing to fight for the friendship, or even make an effort to communicate with me, then i will block you.  

i will not shy away from defending myself or my friends. we should be a community that supports and uplifts one another, and as such, this is how i'll be conducting myself.

III )     general rp etiquette applies to this blog. don’t forceship, don’t godmod, don’t send anon hate. don’t be a dick. basically: treat me like an adult and with general common courtesy and respect and i’ll do the same for you in return. i’m here to have fun above all else. i'm liberal with my block button, if i get a whiff of any of this behaviour, or if you vague-post about me or my friends, or if you've proven to me that you're not a healthy influence in/on my space, or if your blog is continually involved in petty drama, you're blocked. gone. i'm too old to deal with petty drama or taking sides. and if i do block you, for whatever reason, don't circumvent that or throw a fit on the dash in the form of vagueposts. respect my boundaries and respect your followers, they don't want to see that.

IV )     nsfw content is likely to crop up from time to time, as i am of age and am completely comfortable with that kind of content. though i will be selective with who i write it with. it will always be tagged, and under a read more if it is excessively explicit. i absolutely will not be participating in anything nsfw that involves underage muses under any circumstances. my nsfw writing won't just be contained to sundays either. i will only write nsfw content with people i know well and feel comfortable with, communication is key when it comes to such topics and unless we're talking, i won't feel comfortable enough in knowing your boundaries, or your muses' boundaries to write it with you. basically, unless we're talking ooc, i won't write any nsfw content with you.

shipping is going to be highly selective on this blog too. basically, if we gel together as muns and the muses are showing chemistry together and i can see that you'd be willing to plot out dynamics with me, then i'll be more than happy to ship with you. donnie isn't here to add to your tally of ships or faceclaims, and i will not appreciate it if you attempt to collect me in that fashion. any attempts at forceshipping will result in a block, as will any weird behaviour shown towards shipping in general.

V )     i personally don’t have any triggers that would need tagging, but i would ask that people do not spring unexpected pregnancy/pregnancy plots on me or go into detail about pregnancy with me. i would also ask that if you’re looking for a plot that features lots of angst and triggering topics that you discuss it with me first. especially if we’re going to be touching on topics of unhealthy or abusive relationship dynamics ( the dynamic between a villainous character and their romantic partner, for example. ) these kinds of plots can be taxing for me mentally and i don’t want to engage with them 24/7, i am a horror writer and i love writing about the worst of humanity as much as the next guy, but i don’t want to be in that headspace all the time. so, please be mindful when talking to me about these plots.

some heavy trigger warnings apply to donnie’s story, they are as follows: religious trauma, religious horror, discussions of the catholic and baptist faith that won’t be in a strictly positive light, death, loss, grief, animal death, child neglect and abuse, homophobia typical of the time period, mentions of underage drinking, addiction, gore, mentions of postnatal depression and psychosis, and others. please be advised! i want my followers to be safe. everything will be tagged accordingly always, though i do stress that i sometimes forget and will always edit the post to add the tags the minute i notice. my tags are formatted like this ‘ trigger here // ’ for the ease of blacklisting.

a note for how i go about researching serious/triggering topics:  i am always researching the most respectful and authentic ways to talk about donnie's mental health ( most notably, his c-ptsd, ptsd, and his adhd ) and his struggles with addiction. it's a big part of his character that i've been looking into for a long time, and i strive to explore it as sensitively and as realistically as i can. my perspective on his mental health and his struggle with addiction have been informed both by strenuous research and my personal interactions with both. if anyone spots me not doing my job right with this, then please feel free to reach out, i'm always happy to learn.

VI )     i tend not to interact with "like to stay mutuals!" posts and other posts to that effect, they are anxiety inducing for me and i often miss them. my presence on the dash and online in general is next to non-existent. i would recommend not following me if this bothers you. if you have any questions or concerns about this or any of my rules or anything on my blog, then please bring them to me privately and off anon. i would also like to stress that i as the mun do not excuse the actions of any muse that i write nor of the muses of my partners. if any character i write or my partners write bothers you then please either blacklist tags, softblock me, or block me. do not stir up drama or send anons or other people into my messages over the matter of a fictional character. DO HOWEVER send messages to me off anon, or through the askbox if we're not mutuals, if you think i’ve overstepped a line in any way shape or form, i am open to adult discussion and education regarding these matters always. any attempts at guilt-tripping, vaguing and general pettiness will be blocked. no exceptions.

VII )     general faceclaim dni applies, please use your common sense, if you know your faceclaim ( or indeed your muse ) to be problematic in some way, then i will not be interacting with you. don’t follow me if you’re an eternals blog, a harry potter blog, a teen wolf blog, a supernatural blog, a stranger things blog, or an mcu - based blog (comic - based blogs are more than okay to follow me. )

VIII )     the psd used on this blog is ‘ me and my husband ’ by ariapsds, and the icon border used is ' boyfriends ' by b1gtimerush. anything else found on my blog has been sourced and edited by me unless stated otherwise. do not steal anything.

IX )     finally, if you've made it this far, thank you for reading my rules. welcome aboard! my name is bramble (bram for short), and i’m twenty - four, and i go by she/they pronouns. i'd prefer people use both sets when referring to me unless we know each other well. i am non-binary and i do not appreciate having this aspect of my person disregarded, anybody who doesn’t respect this will be blocked. i know these rules are a lot to get through and i promise i'm actually way more chilled out than how some of these rules are worded may suggest that i am. i'm just making sure i've set my boundaries in the clearest possible terms. again, thank you for reading these, it means the world, and i'm looking forward to writing with you! 💕

[arofili]

i haven't read the silmarillion or anything related but i was wondering how do elves's fëas work?? like i read somewhere about them sharing this fëa bond with people they marry so their fëas meet and that's what makes the marriage marriage in the first place. but im not really sure about that, don't people's fëas normally touch even if they're not married? and what happens if they do touch? this is weirdly specific but im just curious,,,you don't have to answer if you don't want to ofc! thank you if you do answer my curiosities haha and you still don't, ty too! (i asked you this bc i feel like you have a lot of knowledge about elfs)

Hey anon! So, a lot of what you're talking about is fanon, though it does have basis in canon. From "Laws and Customs among the Eldar" we learn about fëar and hröar and elvish (largely Noldorin, to be specific) marriage customs.

It's worth noting, though, that LaCE underwent many revisions and is a highly dubious document as it was written in-universe by Aelfwine, a mortal from the 9th century CE who found the Straight Road to Valinor. That concept in and of itself is a framing device for Tolkien's "translation" of the Red Book into English, and isn't one he kept consistent throughout his writing or one he was ever fully satisfied with - it never made it into the texts published within his lifetime, and doesn't make an appearance in the published Silm, either. And as I said in a previous meta dealing with LaCE:

Maybe this is something Tolkien changed his mind on between writing LaCE and writing this section of what became the published Silm. Or maybe this is an in-universe distinction: the in-universe writer of LaCE is unclear but implied to be a human, not an elf, possibly Aelfwine; the writer of the Silm as we see it is Christopher Tolkien’s edits of JRRT’s translation of Bilbo’s translation of Noldorin loremasters, the chief of whom was Pengolodh. It’s complicated.

That being said:

LaCE doesn't actually offer that much information on the nature of elvish fëar in relation to marriage. We do get the quote that "It was the act of bodily union that achieved the marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete." Since human concepts of marriage are mostly legal/social engagements, and by no means indissoluble, this strongly implies something different is going on with elven fëar when they marry, but it's not stated outright. Still, the wording of "bond" in relation to "marriage" gives rise to the fan-embellished concept of a "marriage bond" that is very popular in fic/meta about elf marriages.

This concept is further supported by the description that a "greater share and strength of their being, in mind and body" is required for elves to create children (when compared to Men). It implies a closeness between a married couple where their "minds" (aka fëar) are as involved in the child-making process as their bodies. Later it is specified that after marriage, elves remain individual people with individual "gifts of mind and body that differ" - a strange thing to emphasize if there was not the possibility for misconstruing married elves as becoming literally one being.

For elves, marriage is forever: the Valar state that "marriage resides ultimately in the will of the fëa." Yet later in the same paragraph, it is explained that elves who are re-embodied need to be married again, because marriage is also of the body and the first body had perished. Confusing!

There are more notes about fëar in this essay, and the concept is mentioned in other places as well, but that's the basic gist of the concept AFAIK. (I highly recommend perusing LaCE yourself if you're interested in this topic! And remember that this is fandom, you can accept or discard certain aspects of the document as you see fit. I know I do.)

Most of your questions deal in extrapolation from canon - I would argue there's a strong basis for the concept of a marriage bond in LaCE, but it's not explicitly spelled out. I can't give you firm answers, but here are my personal headcanons about fëar and bonds. Everything that follows is headcanon, unless I explicitly state otherwise.

Elves are born with bonds with their parents; these bonds are important for the health and happiness of a growing child. (There's another line in LaCE about how the parting of parents and children in their youth is "a grievous thing," which is my starting place for this particular headcanon.) I also think that they have bonds with their siblings, though this is less supported; I just think that living with and sharing parents with someone is likely to foster the slower/less formal creation of a bond. Twins, however, are born with strong bonds between one another, having shared a womb.

(I also think certain Unbegotten elves - aka the first 144 elves who awoke at Cuiviénen - came into being with bonds, thus allowing for Unbegotten elves to have siblings, like Elwë, Olwë, and Elmo. But you could also argue that, depending on how you deal with timelines, those three brothers are not Unbegotten and were born the "normal" way.)

Then there are chosen bonds. These are the kind we hear discussed (albeit vaguely) in LaCE. Marriage bonds specifically are formed when elves "unite in body" and invoke the name of Eru. My personal (aroace) take on this is that sex makes the process of bonding much easier and faster, the naming of Eru and the intent to bond is what's really important, so if a couple would rather not have sex they can still bond. And it also opens up room for debate on which specific sexual acts count when it comes to bonding, what would happen if Eru's name wasn't invoked, etc.

But I also think bonds can be created in contexts other than marriage - found family, for example. I've seen this most discussed in the context of Kidnap Dads, but it could apply in many scenarios: you decide you want X person to be part of your family, and that means you want to bond with them. In the case of orphaned children, if you go with the idea that they need a parent-child bond in order to develop properly, this could provide substitute/adoptive parents to fill that role. Or it could be that you feel like a certain person is your sibling, but you weren't born of the same parents, but you still want them to officially be your family, so you form a sibling-bond with them. These are bonds that occur without the ~physical union~, and therefore take more time and effort, and thus are less common - but they do happen.

All these bonds are basically the same in terms of function: they make ósanwë (mind-to-mind/telepathic communication) much easier and more natural, they connect two fëar together in an indissoluble way, they show a depth of commitment and love between the bonded eldar. But they are valued differently in society, and created/brought into being in different circumstances.

As for fëar "touching" - that is, in my opinion, poetic license for communication/closeness through such a bond. If you touch your spouse's fëa, for example, that's connecting with them to see how they're feeling, possibly passing along comfort or a message, etc. This "touching" is basically ósanwë, I guess? Which, in my headcanon, you can do if you're not bonded to someone, it just takes more effort and closer proximity if you don't have a bond in place.

Hope this helps, anon! Feel free to send in another ask if you have more questions!

[ciircumserpent]

I don't know if this falls into the right category, and you can ignore it if you want, but can you talk about big boss and snakes relationship, like regarding snake entering foxhound. Bb obviously allowed it, gave him a name in reference to his old name, paid special attention to his training, then sent him out with the intention of using and killing him, then at the end claimed he had always respected him as a soldier and as a man. Is bb just bad at emotions or did things go wrong somewhere?

send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on.

i’m gonna answer all of these specific questions but first, background reading link dump! most of these are headcanons as opposed to meta, which means i’m going with one interpretation of the relationship, but once these are done i’ll talk about all the different ways you could read it, starting with canon facts and moving into analysis. links: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15. i’m gonna cut it off there because i’ve had this blog for close to two years and i’ve written a lot on this but yeah let’s do something thorough and fresh! also this is going to be really long because i want to hammer out everything we know, and some of it can get nitpicky.

let’s go over what we know about big boss and snake in canon, as fact. 

msx mg: in the original metal gear, snake is a rookie in foxhound, an elite black ops unit, and has been sent on his first mission to outer heaven with orders to, quote, ‘penetrate the enemy’s base, outer heaven, and destroy the ultimate weapon: metal gear.’ snake does just that, under direct guidance from big boss, whose orders grow more confusing and nonsensical the further you get into the compound. this game starter the ‘turn off the console’ meme, and that’s just one example of how crazy big boss is starting to sound. perhaps assuming that his commander isn’t all there, snake listens less and less to his advice and instead takes matters into his own hands, going so far as to ignore the order to cease and desist. upon destroying metal gear and rescuing kyle schneider, head of the outer heaven resistance, you discover that big boss has been in command of the compound all along, and then are confronted by him in the final boss fight. quote: ‘solid snake! you’ve finally arrived. yes, i’m big boss, general commandant of foxhound… and in charge of this fortress, outer heaven. i gave you instructions to bring back false information on metal gear. however, you went too far! you’ve completely smashed my ambitions. solid snake, i will not die alone. you’ll join me.’ you kill big boss and jet the fuck out of there before the building explodes, shaken but alive. quote from the updated edition: ‘this is solid snake… i destroyed metal gear. operation intrude n313 accomplished! everything is over… everything… i’m returning now. …over.’ the updated edition also has big boss swear revenge on snake for ruining his plans.

mg2ss: by the time snake returns in the sequel, he has left foxhound, but has agreed to come back to assist them with taking out the military nation zanzibar land, as he has made a career for himself assassinating dictators in countries much like this. campbell, previously unmentioned but retconned into foxhound’s command, guides you through the mission. almost immediately, we have a mention of big boss: ‘he did…? you mean…’ ‘snake, you’ll understand soon… what a wonderful man he is…’ then, ‘the one-eyed man told us to tell him if we saw a man wearing green clothes.’ ‘s… snake… snake… he’ll never let you get away.’ when confronting gray fox, he already knows that big boss is in command of zanzibar. fox says that his situation is more complicated than snake’s, as big boss is more than a commander to him, and snake doesn’t react to this. this is followed by campbell saying, ‘snake! big boss is no longer your co! he’s just another madman! got that? put aside your personal feelings. stay focused! you can’t afford to lose this battle! there’s nothing more we can do for you,’ followed by kaz’s now-famous, ‘snake, that guy is a monster.’ big boss greets snake with the following: ‘snake… welcome to zanzibar land… i knew you’d come back to me.’ they have a pretty intimate conversation about ptsd, war, and their place in society. snake sets big boss on fire. big boss dies screaming his name. snake legs it a second time, then ducks out of the debriefing as soon as holly and campbell turn their backs. alaska time.

mgs1: snake gets dragged out of bed at like one in the morning for more bullshit. our first reference to big boss comes right in the prologue, with naomi and campbell briefing snake on the situation. ‘i hear the terrorists are calling themselves the sons of big boss.’ snake seems bemused. this game in general is more about liquid and snakes’ relationship and snake’s journey to coping with his trauma, but we do get one of the more important pieces of the bb & solid puzzle in this conversation, which i’m just going to link. people have pointed out that campbell’s line ‘it happened in zanzibar’ doesn’t necessarily mean that big boss and snake discussed their relationship during the events of mg2, as we don’t see it in canon. what we do know for certain is that big boss himself addressed it and told snake that he was his son, not his clone. snake also claims that big boss ‘wanted’ snake to kill him, but we don’t know if that’s true, or if that’s snake’s interpretation of the situation. liquid, of course, spends most of the game yelling at snake about taking the opportunity to kill big boss from him, while snake seems irked by the idea. wolf mistakes snake for big boss briefly, but snake lets it slide. snake also reads liquid’s obsession with big boss as ‘some warped kind of love’, and reaffirms his anti-war views.

mgs2: snake takes more of a back seat in this game, but we do get some good nuggets about his relationship with big boss, particularly when ocelot notes that raiden and solidus’ relationship directly parallels snake’s relationship with big boss. that’s big in clueing us into how they interacted. we also see snake lose his cool when solidus attempts to imitate big boss in front of him, demanding that he stop and trying to shoot him off of the walkway.

mgs4: this is maybe the most important game detailing their relationship after mg2, because it includes a lot of updates and retcons post-snake eater. big boss volunteering his dna for a government project is changed to zero stealing it and big boss leaving the patriots in protest, so snake is no longer an intentional baby. eva discusses her relationship with big boss with snake pretty openly, and says that, despite the fact that big boss never wanted him, he did care enough to give snake a name that he directly associated with the mission that changed his life, and with the boss. we also learn that he trained snake personally during their time in foxhound and shared cqc with him, a technique used exclusively by big boss and his disciples, such as ocelot – the majority of modern soldiers don’t know how to use cqc properly, as it never became a common military practice ( in metal gear’s world ). this throws the pre-metal gear timeline into confusion, as we know that big boss and the boss took years to develop and perfect cqc, and it was not something that someone could pick up on easily. it’s also notable that, while ocelot is the boss’s son and would therefore have some right to learning cqc, big boss doesn’t really share it with anybody else but snake, teaching a watered-down version to the soldiers in peace walker. then we have the epilogue, which presents the contradiction that this ask hinges on: big boss claims that he always respected snake, but that he never saw him as a son… minutes after addressing him as such and making an attempt at comforting him. he spends his final moments doing his best to reconcile with snake, and snake appears to forgive him for what happened.

peace walker / mgsv: grouping these two together because there isn’t much, but peace walker shows us that big boss stays in contact with eva ( snake’s mother ) after the cloning incident, and mgsv has the real big boss ordering ocelot to treat whichever clone he finds as ‘just another person’.

semi-canon material: we do get some extra tidbits from secondary games and the comics. in ‘ghost babel’, snake says that he was ‘in hell’ and ‘couldn’t forgive’ himself after killing big boss. in the mgs1 comic, psycho mantis attempts to torture snake by convincing him that he’s on fire. in the mgs1 novel, snake has a hallucinatory conversation with big boss where he reacts very strongly to the idea that he could be in danger and goes so far as to actually spill information about the mission, though it ( luckily ) doesn’t get mantis or liquid anywhere. in the mgs2 comic, snake and solidus also have a brief exchange about their father, but snake seems disinterested and detached.

OKAY NOW WE CAN GET INTO ACTUAL ANALYSIS.

firstly, it’s important to note that so much of this is from snake’s perspective, and we hardly get any concrete information about big boss’s perception of snake, so we’re working backwards on this to figure out what he wanted. 

before we go any further, let me address what i believe is the most important part of this discussion, and that’s whether or not you think big boss told snake he was his father before or after outer heaven. there is no right answer; as stated above, campbell’s ‘you had no way of knowing’ does not relate directly to big boss talking to snake, and the metal gear wiki – which tends to be extremely impartial and canon-compliant – doesn’t place the Big Reveal in metal gear 2, but rather says that ‘at some point’ snake and big boss had a talk about it. another hint for this comes in the metal gear solid handbook, which recaps both mg and mg2 and includes a semi-novelized version of big boss and snakes’ fight, and does not mention this conversation despite it being post-‘retcon’, so even the game that establishes big boss as snake’s father doesn’t say with any certainty that this went down in zanzibar. so it’s entirely up to you whether you want to believe that big boss told snake before outer heaven – maybe because he was catching feelings, maybe because he wanted the sort of absolute loyalty that he hoped would come from a familial connection – or during zanzibar in an attempt to shock snake out of killing him. and that lies more in the realm of how you decide to characterize big boss. i personally believe that he told him in foxhound because of the mgs1 guide’s pointed silence on the matter, but again, there’s no right answer. it’s just going to heavily influence how you read the relationship.

starting with the original game, we now know that it was venom snake commanding outer heaven, but it’s more than likely that it was the real big boss on the radio. not only does he joke with snake ( ‘a cardboard box? are you moving house or something?’; ‘a uniform… like a high school girl’s uniform? ), suggesting some sort of shared background that venom wouldn’t have, but he’s the one who sent snake on the mission from foxhound. it would be weird if he said he was going to be directing snake and then… didn’t do that… like somebody would probably notice. so we can take their radio dialogue as canon interactions. but while some of them are cute ( thanks konami ) they mostly tend to be big boss trying to trip snake up, so he’s clearly underestimating snake, but that’s pretty par for the course with big boss in general? he tends to be shortsighted when it comes to the ‘i’m the greatest soldier in the world’ thing by mgsv and doesn’t think that anybody can hold a candle to him ( or like… a lighter ). it’s also a misconception that big boss never told snake to destroy metal gear and that was all snake’s doing. in both the original game and the updated version, big boss very straightforwardly tells snake to go find and blow up metal gear – it was his intention to mislead snake and get him to bring back false information, but he never conveyed that to snake. as far as snake knew, he was doing what he was supposed to do and got overzealous and didn’t stop when big boss said to. big boss also didn’t go straight for impaling snake on spike traps; that was his last resort. honestly, his first attempt at stopping snake was just to send him back to the beginning and be like, ‘oh well as long as you’re here maybe you should just come home.’ and then snake, eager beaver that he was, responded with the classic, ‘I SEE YOU TRYING TO TEST MY DEDICATION TO THE MISSION BUT LET ME BE VERY CLEAR I AM NOT COMING BACK UNTIL I FINISH EVERY ITEM ON YOUR LIST BOSS HAHA YOU ALMOST GOT ME.’ and then Tragedy Struck.

but of course once he realized that snake wasn’t backing down he shifted straight to trying to kill him so let’s be clear in that snake never mattered more to big boss than outer heaven. i mean, neither did anybody else for that matter – cast in point, kaz. that would be the ‘bad at emotions’ component of his character: big boss can like people and even love people, but hits a snag in that he doesn’t always see others as anything but an extension of himself, and doesn’t judge them outside of how they relate to him and his wants / needs. he does this with the boss, he does this with eva, he does this with kaz, he does this with venom, and he does this with snake. it’s a recurring issue for him and yes, it’s an emotional problem. i don’t think he’s sitting back cackling and rubbing his hands together getting ready to screw over the people closest to him whenever he gets the chance. it’s more that, given the choice between them and his dream, he will always choose himself. he might even feel bad about it, but it won’t stop him from doing it. i will never claim that big boss Just Woved Snake So Much that he would have been fine with outer heaven blowing up, because that’s not what their relationship was no matter how you examine it, but the fact that he tried to murder him doesn’t mean he didn’t like snake at all, it just means that he was being big boss.

speaking of being fine with outer heaven blowing up let’s move on to zanzibar. i think a roadblock to understanding big boss’s character is believing that he wanted what kaz wanted: a stable, physical ‘outer heaven’ that would last forever. i don’t know if he ever thought it out – that’s open to interpretation – but big boss’s outer heaven was and always has been an idea instead of a country. yes, he acquired land and started building bases, but the fact that these compounds were destroyed wasn’t actually a setback for him, and he explains why in mg2: ‘start a war, fan its flames, create victims… then save them, train them… and feed them back onto the battlefield.’ not only is this some insidious shit, but it encompasses all of big boss’s plans for outer heaven. if the country gets settled, great! but eventually it will get blown up, and that’s not a problem, because that’s going to create survivors and victims and a desire for revenge, which he can then take advantage of to start another war… and another war… and another war. in big boss’s eyes, he and snake are both examples of these ‘victims’, and it looks like he’s finally come around to the fact that snake is a lot like himself, because he’s ready to manipulate those feelings of being misunderstood and used to convince snake that his solution is the best and only solution to his problem.

his attempts to sway snake are a far cry from him swearing revenge after outer heaven. honestly i think he just got over it and realized that it is so much better to have snake on his side than to let him run amuck ruining his plans all the time. and we touch upon the moriarty and sherlock aspect of their relationship here, which i love. big boss says to snake’s face that he’s giving snake a reason to live, and he’s kind of right! what does snake do for a living? he fights dictators. what makes snake feel really alive? participating in war and being close to death, and what thrill can compare to fighting metal gear, his first and most definitive trauma? big boss is correct in that he’s giving snake exactly what he wants, and snake knows it. they’re batman and joker, you can’t have one without the other, so even if they genuinely dislike each other for getting in the way, they also know that they need each other. snake needs someone to fight, and big boss needs a soldier that powerful and headstrong to face off against and would not be opposed to having that soldier around all the time.

this might be where big boss really starts to like snake. before, snake was pretty good; he was an interesting enough warrior to be worthy of private cqc training and his codename. but now he has someone like kaz who’s also willing to say ‘no’ to him, and that’s special! very few people have it in them to deny big boss. he’s extremely persuasive and he knows it, but snake wasn’t going to lie down and die for him, and that’s something that he simultaneously finds intoxicating and also is going to have to overcome if he wants things to go well for him. maybe he wanted the relationship he had with kaz in peace walker, where they settle for being partners and the power dynamic is confusing but they actually do like each other. we know that, despite all his efforts, kaz ended up being the one to get screwed over by that and got a little too attached, so perhaps big boss thought he could pull that off a second time. acknowledge his prowess, fluff him up, flatter him by allowing him to get closer than anybody else, and catch him in that sweet stockholm syndrome net. but he is not peace walker kaz, he is solid snake, apprentice of master miller, who knows damn well what big boss is about and wastes no time in hopping on the radio and being like, ‘that’s bullfuckery.’ and snake declares, ‘that is bullfuckery,’ and lights big boss on fire.

 but even before, he gives snake his name. he gives him his time and attention. he doesn’t immediately try to kill him. and he forgives him enough after outer heaven to want him back. he is lowkey stalking snake through zanzibar, and i’ve talked about how mgs3 was based heavily off of mg2 and how that translates into canon as snake’s mission being based off of operation snake eater. he’s clearly attached to snake somehow, but in the only way that he knows how to be attached to someone, which is to try to convince them to become as much like him as possible. any love he has for snake probably stems from the fact that he grows to see snake as an extension of himself. at the same time, he might be refreshed by the fact that snake is naturally similar to him while doing his own thing. he isn’t like liquid ( who is constantly trying to one-up big boss ) or solidus ( who is constantly trying to be big boss ); snake meets big boss on his own terms, trains with big boss on his own terms, loves big boss on his own terms. any attempts to be more like his mentor are coming from a natural progression of growing close to him and not from the idea that because he’s a clone he has to be just like the original. and i think that might be why big boss never tells him, because here is someone who adores him and wants to learn from him but has no intention of ever taking his place, which big boss would clearly see as a threat if it wasn’t on his own terms ( re: liquid and solidus ). snake has organically filled the role of big boss’s son, so he’s not going to trigger that same gag reflex. and while big boss would never spare him if it meant the end of his dreams, he did grow to want snake. he chose to give him everything. he chose to ask him to come and fight by his side.

so i’m not even touching upon the power dynamic and the abuse aspect, which have their place. i’m saying that, based off of what we know in canon from both sides, big boss was fond of snake, and snake loved big boss, and when you examine snake’s character for the rest of the series, you can tell that big boss played a role in raising him and that this impacted him for the rest of his life.