#[ thisis embarrassing. DONT READ ]

[thisisanude]

AHHHHHHH

i hate feeling jealousy its truly so embarrassing and never happens to me like really rly at all but i am jealous of her bf its crazy its fucked up i feel like a bad person for feeling that way especially bc hes so nice and means so well and deserves the best but im so soosooossoooo AHHHHHA HAHHHHHH like why does he get to live with her and hangout all the time and shower with her and touch her im fucked im soooo fuckedim cooked i am literally socooked. the way that i have a bf too that i love doing all those things with. like i actually genuinely do love hanging out with my bf and showering and touching and i would prob like living with him. but i wish i could live with her again so bad. so its like actually so fucked up its beyond fucked.its just not right. why cant i have both. i hate that monogamy is so normalized bc i literally would love to be polyamorous but i rly dont want the judgement that comes from that or even to ever bring that upto my bf ever EVER cuz i real dont think hed be down. i jsut. i would be happier having a bf and gf both. and she can have a gf and bf. AHHHHHH why cant our bfs just be like accessories that live with us and take care of us and hangout but are also ok with us hanging out more. THIS IS FUCKED THISI IS SO FUCKED UP OF ME TO THINK!!!! i am a bad person. i cannot believe the thoughts i have frequently i wonder if theyll pass. i got a bracelet that says on the inside of it its whats on the inside that counts. i feel like most of the time i consider myself a good person with good intentions but lately ive been having an identity crisis because of this. i can never ever EVER tell my bf how i truly feel. i cant tell her either, or any of my other best friends. its really upsetting to just have to live like this. yet part of me never wants it to end its so bittersweet because it feels so good to hang out and do things that are like REAL CONFUSING but then there are so many bad things that come with that its like AHHHHFuck !!!!! but i feel so guilty because its like wow iwant todo all these things with her but i dont want to break up with my bf and i dont know what it would even be like dating each other bc that would just be too weird weve been friends for too long. why cant we just be extra special best friends that fuck a lot and live together but like still do all the things with our bfs that we normally would. like were neighbors with them. and they come over a lot and hang out. i wish i wish i wish i wish i could just get what i wanted. im so pathetic lololoolollol i dont think she is thinking that much about this if at all. i wish i could read her mind. i wish i could read her sisters mind. i wish i knew what they talked about if anything at all. something tells me her sister knows something that i dont but would love to. PLEASEEEEE AHHHhaudskjxck i need to be grateful for allthat i have i am so grateful for it all. i am i really am i promise. grass is always greener i guess. or maybe im going through a really gay phase. i wonder how my life wouldve gone if i had came out to my family when i was 16. i really wonder what i would be doing right now. i .... think things would definitely be different but im not sure how different.

[dolgelo]

@sabazio

it all felt so warm - but most of all, it felt safe. had the two of them stood in the middle of the room, instead of being as close as they were, Mitsuru was certain his words would haven’t had the same effect. almost grateful for that moment of complete privacy, the girl had taken it as it came - expressions of trust like those were rare on both of their parts, and to be able to witness each other in such an  ‘ environment ’  had something inspiring and tender to it. 

sitting on the fresh sheets with one facing so intimately the other, her legs were loosely circling his waist and her arms resting, light, on his shoulders. just a bunch of inches closer and the two might have found themselves tangled in yet another inebriant embrace. yet, still as fatigued and tired as they had both just happened to become, they needed no words to agree they might have favoured a little breather now, a chance to recompose themselves. they both knew when to call for a truce.

that very space was all theirs to be used. the bed was comfortable, the room as spacious and well-furnished as she had left it months prior, to fly to the capital. while her mother would have taken care of anything in her place, Mitsuru had eagerly waited for that moment with child-like trepidation: she was not alone. it had been a shame fate had wanted them to return to their hometown in conjunction with the dinner held each year for the anniversary of the Group’s inauguration. after two decades and habits like those were still to fade away -- one big bother Mitsuru did gladly forget, until it happened to be too late for creating an escape route. 

while Akihiko had decided to politely stand aside, she could have never followed him in this decision. the girl had justified him and invited him to still participate. what he had seen, or thought, she was not sure -- his words now did externalize what had troubled him for the rest of the night. and Mitsuru felt it, sensed it in his posed smiles and rigid posture. the thought made her shiver lightly now, so close to him; her arms left his shoulder blades to fall again by her sides and on the mattress. still, she kept her line of sight high, to his same level. more than worried, he did almost sound troubled. the girl softly cleared her throat, sure her voice would have appeared weirder than usual, before whispering to him, half-a-smirk. 

         «  Do not imply that, Akihiko. You know that can’t be possible... how can it be ?  »

yet that too did die soon. safe, warm, protected. she knew the man wouldn’t have let anyone lay a hand on her. the suspect he might have seen all those young businessmen approaching her tonight as something to defend her from... but that he couldn’t have touched, at the same time, did devour her heart and certainties. she was no different from him. it took her a moment inside her head to understand she was exactly the same as Akihiko if not worse. his present affirmation was valid, as much as his now furrowed brows and the ghost of his usual smile -- oh, the one she adored so much... 

still, he remained attractive too, he was a kind man and their reality wasn’t inside their high school anymore, back when his group of fans would carefully avoid her presence to no anger Mitsuru and watch out for any improper behaviour. there must have been some female recruits, in his same department, who must have... !  she shook her head to keep away those mad thoughts, her hands travelling back up, slowly caressing one of his scars on the chest.

         «  Conceited men like that don’t interest me... they’d think I belong to them, instead of it being my simple will and decision. And I can’t--- can’t let that happen.  »

what did still prevent the heiress from letting all those men -- everyone, the entire country ! -- finally know she didn’t have eyes but for the man keeping her on her lap, and that was now playing with a long strand of her hair ?  their jobs ?  each single time the occasion had appeared propitious, something like that had to happen. 

she scooted herself closer to him, propping the sudden shift on her thigh muscles. her left hand on his neck, chin to his lips. they did feel a bit humid still, but nonetheless, always so soft and delicate. a thumb pressed over the lower one.    

         «  They mean nothing to the woman I am, no matter what they say... um, ces hommes là, ils sont commes des chiens. Do as I do, just let them bark. Now I’m here, to stay with you... and what can they do about it... ?  »

and nothing else did matter. to be and to belong -- the difference was all there. she caught him smiling at her words, and her heart felt now made of pure feathers, slight and not as heavy as before. the vision brought her to smile back -- uh, she would have needed to find her clothes and head for the mirror soon, to get rid of the remaining traces of makeup. Akihiko did not seem like a man who would have needed reassurance for those matters, yet the episode made her feel more wanted and flustered than ever - she couldn’t have left him, not now, nor tomorrow or any other day. she underestimated how important he was, for Mitsuru...

she jolted, those remaining centimetres separating them being finally filled, as she propped now to sit straighter and to look at him in the eyes. so grey even in the darkness around them. a moment later, her lips touched his, the shock of electricity running through her body and senses went to replace the previous shivers. brief, quick yet intense, it made her wish for more too as she broke the connection herself and headed for the sheets to the edge of the king-sized bed.

         «  Wait here, will you ?  I’m not going anywhere.  »  

@sabazio​  ||  a list of don’ts.

[jaakey]

why

[a-merman-not-a-guppy]

Special Kind of Normal | A Soft Laugh

Finn goes to Sindri and Olaf about his anxiety over kissing.

@huldufolk-hjarn​ @olaf-likeswarmhugs​

Finn: hi Finn: um octopus friend? Finn: wait thisi s digjds Finn: how are you? Sindri: hi finn :) I'm okay how are you? Finn: um okay Finn: nemo said you give good advice? Finn: and i Finn: i know i bothered you once and i don't wanna bother you Finn: but i ah Sindri: youre not bothering me Sindri: nemo has too much faith in me maybe though haha Finn: no! Finn: he knows you're great! Finn: but i um i just. this is embarrassing Finn: my friend asked me if i liked kissing boys and so i've kind of been freaking out because Finn: i mean do i look like i kiss boys? do i look gay? or i mean even beyond that Finn: idk if kissing is good? or what i want? i could but also Finn: i'm really confused i feel like i should be kissing people? Sindri: wow um Sindri: first of all dont freak out Sindri: I think kissing and liking people and stuff like that can be super complicated and there isnt really a right way to do it you know? I didnt really like kissing people at all either and like I didnt really think about it that much until people started asking me stuff like that Sindri: and then I kissed this girl but it wasnt great and I think I mostly did it bc i thought i was supposed to but that's a bad reason Sindri: um and then I liked olaf a lot which was also kind of a different thing but what I'm trying to say I guess is dont feel like u have to kiss people or even want to kiss people Sindri: also the whole gay straight thing and how u look one way or the other is really kind of stupis Sindri: humans are so weird Sindri: I wear glitter sometimes and I've been asked if I was gay but really who cares Sindri: its pretty Finn: it's too late i am definitely freaking out but it's just it's like Finn: it feels like there's something wrong with me that i don't like someone or want to kiss someone or whatever? like Finn: people talk about who kissed who and who's dating who but Finn: i'm over here looking at my art and wondering if the color scheme is satisfying yet Finn: and i feel like i must be weird. and i don't want to be weird or more different Finn: people already HATE me i dsiojhdngf Finn: i don't wanna be weird sindri Sindri: is it okay if I add olaf to this conversation Sindri: I think he might be able to help a lot Sindri: also people dont hate you Finn: sure? why not Finn: i'm already so embarrassed i want to cry Finn: but they do though. they already hate my stutter Sindri adds Olaf to the conversation Sindri: honestly that's so mean and there's nothing wrong with u finn Sindri: hi olaf Sindri: um so finn was telling me about some stuff and I really think you might be able to make him feel better because he is not sure how he feels about kissing people and stuff and I told him it's okay if he doesnt want to or feel ready but I just think you're better at words than me and also that you sort of know about this stuff Finn: hello olaf! ha Finn: this is awkward. i feel really it's not i mean it is a big deal but maybe i'm Finn: overthinking it a lot Finn: i get really anxious about lots of stuff but i didn't want kissing to be on the list of anxieties Olaf: oh icicles that is super relatable Olaf: it is on my list of anxieties already though!! haha Olaf: though it's not so much kissing as people wanting to kiss me I suppose. because yeah, i always felt like people were way faster than I ever was Finn: is it normal to feel like it's too fast? idk i mean i don't like anyone but i feel like everyone likes people and like i'm the turtle in a race i didn't know i was in? Finn: is it a turtle or a tortoise in the story? idk. i like turtles Olaf: it was normal for me! i still feel that way honestly and I'm several years older than you Finn: oh. okay. that's good. i mean Finn: not good you feel like you're you know, but it's normal? Olaf: hmm i think normal is an overrated word. i dont know if it exists. because even people who are kissing are doing it for their own reasons and liking it for different things. so even then, it's not like there is one answer. at least from what ive learned Olaf: though its really nice hearing that you feel that way too! it's like we're our own special kind of normal! (◠﹏◠���) Finn: oh no i'm gonna cry. not that that's unusual for me hahaha Finn: it's nice not to feel alone? because it felt really strange. it feels strange. why don't people just want to do art? or photography? Olaf: or read books!! Finn: yes! Olaf: OR GOOGLING Olaf: I told Sindri the other day that Googling is my new hobby. I'm a Googler hehe Finn: hehehe did you google anything interesting? Finn: you should google turtles. they're so cute. or octopus Finn: 

Finn: he cute! Olaf: WOW thats amazing O.O Olaf: I've never seen anything like that! Finn: really? Olaf: yeah, not at all! I've mostly been Googling about Renter's Insurance. ^.^ Finn: that sounds like the most boring way to google D=

Olaf: and the other day i was Googling recipes for a crock pots! Olaf: and then also Googling and reading reviews about crock pots! Finn: oo you cook? Olaf: Well, Sindri and I are in the market for adopting a crock pot so hehe Olaf: which isnt really cooking from what I understand. It's a pot giving your food a warm hug for many hours Olaf: But I DO love cooking 😃 Finn: that's such a fun way to talk about crock pots! Finn: i like it too! and baking <3 Finn: cakes are really fun to make Finn: and you can decorate them so it's like Finn: food and art Olaf: oooo yeah i love decorating cakes too! i once helped out at a few dances in the hollow Finn: really? that sounds like fun! Finn: maybe we could decorate a cake sometime Finn: or no that sounds dumb wait haha Finn: you could also meet my dog he's very cute Olaf: why does that sound dumb!! we can make it a special friendship cake 🙂 Olaf: dont you think more people should have cake for reasons like that? so silly that we wait for special occasions Finn: Oh. Yes please! <3 Finn: i definitely think so. friendship cake sounds like the very best kind of cake Finn: i'll try to decorate it with all the friends i've made this year Olaf: OH thats so fun! Olaf: have you heard of cupcakes?? you could have a friend cupcake decorating party Finn: i have 😃 cupcakes are amazing! Finn: i'd have to find a cupcake tin but that also sounds like a lot of fun

[crjswift]

a dumb and long post sorry ?

i’m in this big yoga class (it’s run by this rly cool org that’s v community based and the classes r free n conducted by volunteers! only gotta pay for the printing cost of the learning materials which i think is fair) ... anyway ! it’s a pretty big group n after some opening poses they split us up into smaller groups halfway for more personal training... and they were saying if you’re menstruating just come for the class and sit at the side and observe/learn so you don’t miss out ... and like.... who tf would do that when there’s like ??? dozens of people in the class with surely a bunch of non-menstruaters. p embarrassing imo lmao like everyone would know?! ofhgjhfg anyway i’m on my period and i wanna go for class anyway like i just won’t tell them what wld they know... only thing it’s like day 3 which is like the heaviest day for me usually omg and i’m a heavy bleeder normally anyway rip so i googled periods + yoga just to see what to avoid etc n they were saying inversions shld be avoided etc and i thought ok it’s only the fourth class surely they won’t jump into such complex stuff when we’re literally still learning basic stuff? BUT I WENT TO SEE THE COURSE MATERIALS and legit we’re going into shoulder stands tomorrow i’m ???????? oh my god idk what i’m gonna do.... maybe i’ll just sit far at the back and like .. say i’m not in the best shape so i’m just gonna chill for now which will be fine during the overall group thing but not during the small group segment where they literally ask us to do shit one by one and give comments i wANNA DIE

[therealestatesparkblog]

Q & A With Real Estate Attorney: Structuring JVs, Newbie Closing Mistakes, and How to Build Your Team

Whether youre on your way to your first deal or your 50th, one thing you cant escape is the paperworkyouve got to get your deals signed, sealed, delivered. For that reason, one of the most important pieces of your team is your legal representation. You need lawyers for real estate, contracts, andeventually, as you graduate to developmentand use and zoning regulations. The Importance of Legal Representation in Real Estate In my case, one particular land use and zoning attorney single-handedly, overnight, took my business from two- and three-family properties to high rise developments. Because of thisI kid you notI ended up on the cover on my home countrys version of The Wall Street Journal, with words like glorious and tycoon used to describe me. What?!

Imagine that. Only in America. I started my real estate company in 2016, basically just picking up smaller duplexes and triplexes. In late 2017, my father, my nephew and I set up a development subsidiary. We started with $850,000 in seed capital to pursue more aggressive opportunities. Since then, weve exploded, inching close to $80MM in the development pipeline. One of the key components to that growth strategy has been how we structure our acquisitions legally. (And not legally as in not illegal, but legally like the legal composition of the transactions paperwork.) Structuring Deals as Joint Ventures My favorite method is through joint ventures (JV). In Q1 alone, weve gone under contract for over 200,000 square feet of buildable real estate. Altogether, when built, those properties have an estimated $56MM aggregate valueall through the JV. Dmitriy Ishimbayev runs his law firm from the 85th floor of the World Trade Center. This is us here, actually discussing the structure of one particular simple JV we thought we had in the books.

Since the deal isnt happening, Ill spill the beans. Hopefully the person who reneged will read this and feel embarrassed (since well most likely do business in the future). A piece of shovel-ready land (i.e., no approvals needed) on a corner lot by Temple University was for sale at $175,000owned free and clear. It was a decent corner lot. It didnt work as a straight buy at that price point. But it could work as a JV.

Gist of This Deal Sellers bring the land. I bring the capital. A third partner builds. We earn an even 33 percent for each. For this specific deal, we were looking at an ARV of $1 million at $600K to build. Usually you structure these a bit differently, but in this case, it turned out everyone actually knew each other. Happy days. Lets just keep it simple, I said. And well roll over the proceeds to a larger deal. Seller agreed. All agreed.We sent the contract and were just waiting for the signature. All of a sudden, the seller wants money. The third partner texts me with the news, asking, What price point would you consider it at for a straight buy? Im not interested, I responded. It doesnt work as an acquisition, only as a JV. I didnt care what discount the would offer me, a deal is a deal. So the deal was off. It is what it is. It happens. To be honest, I was doing the deal to let my 20-year-old rockstar associate KT build his own portfolio and earn his first promote. Lesson? A deal isnt done until the ink is dry. I mentor many young investors, either through advice or smaller co-investments. And they often ask, How do you talk landowners into giving you their land?! Well, its a little more complex than that. (Im going to write about this particular growth strategyand how I do itin detail in another piece.) At the end of the day, your paperwork has to be airtight. So I figured we should get the answers straight from the horses mouth: the attorney behind the activity. Q & A With Real Estate and Business Attorney Dmitriy Ishimbayev I went back to World Trade to sit down with Dmitriy. And boy, do I have some gems to share with you. In this question and answer session, we discussed mistakes newbie investors make, how to avoid them, and what every new investor should look for before, during, and after closing.

Whats up, D! Dmitriy Ishimbayev: Hello, Philip. Lets do this. You see a million deals on a daily basis, from single family to high rises. Whats the number one mistake you see real estate investors make contractually? I think the number one mistake real estate investors make is that they do not include the right contingencies. Or, even worse, they dont put contingencies at all. A lot of real estate dealsfrom tiny deals to complex transactionshave skeletons. And you, as an investor, should have an option to get out of the deal if the deal turns out not to be what you signed up for. When youre new to something, you really dont know what you dont know. Whats the best advice you can give young real estate investorsentrepreneurs evenas they get ready for their first deal, investment, or even business? I always tell my clients, be it entrepreneurs, real estate investors, or business owners, start building your team earlyand dont do it alone. Find people with experience in your fieldand that applies to mentors, lawyers, accountants, and other advisors. Does that mean find someone with decades of experience? Do not hire a lawyer just because he or she has 30 years of experience. Find a lawyer who has experience in what you plan to do. If youre an entrepreneur, find one who understands the fast-paced world of a startup. If youre a real estate investor, one who understands the complexity of a real estate transaction. But most importantlyas cliche as it soundsfind people who care about the success of your venture and who are interested in building a long-lasting relationship with you. What are the main issues you see come up during a closing period? In most of the deals, things come up the last minute, and you need to make sure that you have an experienced attorney who knows how to navigate the deal toward closing. Most delays happen because one party relies on the other party to do something (thinking, Well, it is not my responsibility) and loses sight of the end goal of everyonethe closing. So make sure your attorney stays on top of all the parties involved, the attorney representing the other party, lender, title company, brokers, etc. One of the issues that comes up quite often is people underestimate how long it takes to accomplish certain tasks, especially when you deal with lenders, coop boards, or municipalities. For example, to order a collateral for a simple co-op sale can take four to six weeks; getting an inspection done by the city officials can take weeks. The lesson: start early with all the paperwork and dont leave anything until the last moment. Some readers may be thinking, How do I do a JV? Whats the benefit of a real estate joint venture? JV is a great tool that allows you to be creative in how you structure a transaction. For example, in the Temple triplex deal [you mentioned earlier], each party had a unique asset or skill: one party was to contribute the land, another was to bring financing, and the third was to develop the project. Is this common and can other investors do this also? This type of JV is somewhat common for real estate transactions. The main benefits of a JV from a legal perspective are that it is very flexible and it allows to share the risks between the parties. Once you decide, however, to go the JV route, make sure you have a written JV agreement, outlining all the duties and responsibilities of all parties involved.

What other questions do you have about joint ventures? Let me know in a comment below! https://www.biggerpockets.com/blog/real-estate-attorney-jvs-mistakes-team