#[ there i also went through and TRIED to explain it better. but i am absolute garbage and trying to explain shit ]

[enwoso]

CASUAL — leah williamson

wow, it’s a long one. this has admittedly taken me so long to write. i had the idea of this fic at the start of october but for some reason its just took so long to actually finish lol, but anyways as always hope you enjoy🤍

warning: implied smut, mdni 18+

masterlist

"girl where did you end up last night?" your best friend and also flatmate, amelie asked as you sat in your local cafe debriefing from last nights' night out events over a 'morning' coffee — it was more late afternoon — the two of you having very different endings to the night.

you sat swirling the dregs of your coffee around as you tried to find the way to explain, not so much how you didn't end up back at the flat cause you know she's knows that after catching you walking through the front door at nine am this morning in last nights clothes your head hanging from both the severe amount of alcohol you'd consumed last night but also in slight shame.

it was more whose apartment you stayed at you were trying to find the words to tell her about.

"oh y/n. you didn't did you-" amelie began as you nodded as a defeated sigh left your lips. that being all the clarification your best friend needed. ok, it may not be your proudest moment but who are you to deny a sexy, goddess of a women. but you knew this was heading in the direction of your getting another ear full.

"y/n.. what have i told you, you need to cut all ties with leah. you deserve someone who's going to treat you so much better-" amelie reached out grabbing your hands as you were still looking down at your coffee cup, you looked up a little.

you knew she was right, but you couldn't admit that to yourself. there was something about leah she was addicting and no matter how many times you ended up in between her sheets telling yourself it was the last time, it always happened again.

"yeah but-" you began but amelie gave you a stern look as her eyebrows raised as you rolled your eyes, "ok i get the message, i'll put it on my to-do list — cut leah williamson off." you dryly said, knowing it would be easier said than actually done.

"seriously you need too, your acting like a loser-" amelie continued as you opened your mouth to say something about the small insult she'd thrown your way but you were unable to. "you are though, your better than the rumours that people are spitting-"

"how do you-"

"people talk y/n!"

you'd heard the rumours going around the locals plus there'd been some article posted on an instagram post noticing you in leah's car after a match — you being labelled as 'mysterious girl'.

you weren't known to the media, thank god, you were lucky if you had over two hundred followers as if you had anymore than that fans would have an absolute field day with the news.

instead you were just a normal, twenty six year old girl who'd grown up in north london and had the usual nine to five corporate job as well as having a casual relationship with the leah williamson but you kept that under wraps as after all it was just something which was casual.

you'd met through a mutual friend of yours who also happened to be one of leah's teammates. lotte, who you went to school together and you'd stayed somewhat in contact. it always being a pleasant surprise to see her whenever your paths crossed.

you had bumped into her in a coffee shop near hours before you were being pressed up against a club wall by a blonde defender, having had one too many. the two of you had spent the night being overly touchy and flirting, her lips being felt all around your body leaving your skin feeling hot and your head all fuzzy.

"mine or yours?" leah whispered against your ear, as her teeth grazed your earlobe, you having to refrain yourself from whimpering. leah's hands gripping your hips as your were tangled in the ends of her hair.

"yours" you managed to get out, although it was quiet leah hear every letter. her hands reaching up to grab your hand as she dragged you through the club and towards the exit without as much of a bat of an eyelid towards her friends who she was leaving behind.

to both your luck there was a black cab waiting on the side of the road, both of you taking the chance to get in as leah immediately told the driver her address.

leah's hand stayed on your thigh the entire time as her thumb drew little circles absentmindedly, the busy streets of london making it feel like it's taken hours just to get a few minutes up the road.

as you watched out the window there was a cloud of regret you knew you'd feel in the morning but right now that wasn't what you mind wanted. you right now wanted leah.

so as soon as you cross the threshold of her apartment, you were pinned against the wall. the coldness sending a sharp shiver down your spine. "your so gorgeous" leah whispered as her eyes darkened, the sweet innocence of her blue eyes long gone.

inching closer so that your faces were impossibly close, taking one of her hands as it lands on the back of your neck and kisses you. slow but deep.

letting yourself get lost in her lips as it becomes more passionate and searching but then leah leans back a little, realising that you were in the middle of her hallway.

"come with me, baby" she whispers, her accent thick as the pet name rolls off her tongue but laced with love making your head spin even more as she extends her hand for you to grab as she leads you towards her bedroom, pushing the door open with her foot as her other hand laces itself back around you waist pulling you back to being impossibly close to her.

giving her a teasing look as she kisses you again this one more needy and fervent. feeling her hands all around your body nipping and pulling at your skin as you feel the back of you legs on the edge of her bed. a slight push and you back met with softness of her white sheets.

a small moan leaving leah's lips into the kiss as she felt your hands gently squeeze her ass, feeling her smile against your lips knowing that you were having the same affect on her as she was on you. you were both driving each other crazy.

as the kiss grow more sloppy as whines were being strung from both of your lips, your hips mindlessly starting to slowly grind against her. leah moving to kiss your neck leaving small kisses and sucking on your neck that elicited small moans from your lips as your breathing hitches.

leah's kisses to your neck becoming more intense you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter by the second as you hips carried on to move against her. your hands lingering on her back as your nails dug that little deeper, more than likely leaving scratch marks.

"please le-" you moan out softly, needing more.

-

that wasn't the last time you saw the blonde defender, nor the last time you ended up with your limbs tangled between each other.

whenever the other had, had a drink or just when you needed company leah seemed to always be there. you felt like you craved her at all hours of the day. you found your mind sometimes wondering what she may be doing when you weren't by her side.

but you weren't together, it was just a casual thing. is what you found you were telling yourself.

but with each weekend that passed you found yourself spending them with leah more and more often. which is exactly what had happened this weekend.

leah had called you, she never calls you only ever texts. strange is what you thought when you saw her caller id on the screen a small smile slipping onto your lips as you pressed accept.

"hello?" you said as leah was yet to speak, you thought maybe she had called the wrong number. maybe she hadn't meant to call you .

"hi y/n-" she finally spoke but she lacked her usual confident tone, this time it had been replaced with a nervous shake of her accent. like she had something in her head that she needed to get out.

"did you need something le?" you ask as there is a deafening silence on the other end, a few rustling sounds before leah clears her throat.

"um are you doing anything this afternoon-" leah paused as you think to your plans for the afternoon, "more specifically are you doing anything at two?" leah continued as she waited your response as you hummed.

"no i should be free, why?" you asked wondering what this was going to lead to, what did she have planned.

"fabulous!" a breath of relief was let out from leah as she had a big grin on her face on the other line which if you could have saw would have made you smile, "since you aren't doing anything, do you wanna come to my match?"

you felt as though her words had just fell on deaf ears, you couldn't believe what you were actually hearing. ever since you and leah had- well whatever your relationship was it had always been in the darkness of everyone else, behind peoples back and away from prying eyes.

this felt like a step, you didn't know what direction but it felt like it meant something good.

as you tried to contain your happiness you nodded forgetting she wasn't actually in the room with you, "i- um i would love to le"

"great! i'll erm get your tickets sorted and send them over" leah explained as you hummed along before she quickly had to say her goodbyes claiming that she needed to get her pre match routine started.

since having to re-organise your afternoon, you were now going around rushing trying to find an outfit. not knowing if it was too cliche you going in an arsenal jersey of leah's or whether a subtle hint of red in your outfit would be a better idea.

deciding on just the subtle hint of red, finding a red cap which just so happen to also be leah’s which she’d left at yours after one night.

once you got the match you were amazed at the amount of people who had turned up, yourself not being as clued in of how big a scale women’s football was as admittedly you didn’t exactly have a big interest in football or in sport in general.

but for leah, you’d sit and watch football match after match if you knew it would make her happy.

once you found your seat in the stand you quickly sent the blonde a message not expecting her to even reply but she did.

Y/N:) - i’m here! good luck, i’ll be cheering you on☺️

LE<3 - i seen you! i’ve been looking for that hat. but i think it’s found a better home now;)

LE<3 - meet me near the dugout at the end!

finding yourself smiling at her messages as she sent another telling you what to say to the security so they would let you in to where leah wanted you to be, before slipping your phone back into your pocket ready to watch a game of football.

the ninety minutes felt as if they flew by, and at first you must admit you didn’t exactly understand what you were watching so you just cheered when everyone else around you did, but at the first half and definitely into the second half you managed to get a few rules down — with the help of a google search..

watching as leah walked around clapping and waving to fans looking so effortlessly good in her kit and with the fact she’d just run around for a good ninety minutes it never managed to fail to surprise you how easy she made it look.

despite the team only coming out with a draw which you knew leah would be slightly huffed about especially since they were by far the better team, you still were incredibly proud of her.

walking down and reciting the exact words that leah had messaged you to the security you made it to where she had told you to meet her, but that’s when a certain someone recognised you. a wide smile and arms wide open for you.

"oh y/n it's lovely to see you" amanda engulfed you in a hug, a warm fuzzy but also bittersweet feeling filling your chest. you'd met her mum totally by accident one of the first times that you and leah slept together. she'd been dropping of groceries for her daughter. leah trying to rush you out the door before things got to awkward.

but instead amanda being the polite women she is asked her daughter to introduce you to her. it ending up you stayed an extra two hours longer than you'd planned much to leah's discomfort, but in a way that made it all the more that enjoyable.

"what you doing after here?" amanda asked as she pulled you out the hug, leah lingering just behind you chewing the inside of her lip. "just if your not busy you can always join us for a few drinks" amanda smiled so sincerely as you thought over the invitiation briefly, would it be awkward - maybe? but friends can go out for drinks too!

“yeah, i’d love too” you grinned as a small cheer left amanda’s lips, you seeing the slight falter of a look on leah’s face before it turned back to her signature tight lipped frown.

or maybe you did it just to spite the blonde defender who stood so nervous next to you.

"brilliant! leah we'll wait out at the cars for you" amanda directed towards her daughter as she nodded a small sigh leaving her lips as she plastered on a fake smile, you knew there was a part of her that didnt want you there but that just added fuel to your fire.

amanda looping her arm with yours as the two of you walked towards where the cars would be at the back of the emirates stadium to take you and the williamson family for a few drinks to celebrate the win.

"so how have you been?" amanda asks as she walks beside you, a genuine interest in her tone, as you hum catching her up with your life which hadn't been all that exciting, most days merging into one.

"leah tells me you've been helping her with some business project? how's it going?" amanda asks and you swear your throat started to close up, your words getting stuck in between your lips as your eyes goes wide.

"oh- um yeah it's coming together-" quite literally. you stutter out a response hoping it doesn't raise to much suspicion and praying that the topic is over with just as quick as it came.

"leah won't give me a clue what it's about" amanda complains as she continues to tell you about the countless times she tried to get it out of her daughter as you hummed along more in your head as to why leah would say you were just business partners? why not just say your friends, cause after all you were?

"mhm well i won't be one to spoil the surprise then" you nervously chuckled as you saw the cars in the distance knowing you were close to the end of the conversation. amanda letting out a groan as she hoped she'd be able to get the big surprise out of you but that would be pretty hard considering there was no big surprise.

you were going to have to talk with leah, which would be a little odd as when the two of you were alone, not much talking would be done well not the converse action.

amanda letting go of your arm as she got into the other side of the cab, leah coming out the exit of the back of the stadium as she jogged quickly getting into the people carrier. sitting herself in the seat next to you as she shot you a soft smile.

-

the night was actually going smoothly, leah seemed to get out of whatever strop she was in when you were stood with her family in the emirates and was actually talking to you now. well more flirting with you. her hand getting dangerously high up on your thigh as she spoke.

"have i told you how pretty you look-" she blurted out as you took a small sip of your drink, a small smile appearing on your face as you lifted the glass from your lips and back to the table.

"you may have mentioned a few times" you whispered as this time it was leah's time to smile as her hand drifted a little further up your thigh as you shot her look as she squeezed your thigh making you jump in your seat a little.

"le-" you harhsly said inbetween your teeth as she looked at you so innocently as if she had not clue what she was doing to you but you know she knew. leah knew what her touch was doing to you and how it was affecting you.

leah had you right where she wanted you and honestly, you were going to let her - you'd face the consequences later on. right now, you wanted her, in more ways than one.

standing up with a loud scrape of your chair, all eyes turning to land on you, "m'sorry just- i'll be back-" you stutter out, your cheeks all flushed as you made a beeline straight for the toilets.

amanda looking worryingly over her shoulder at you before turning to leah, who just simply shrugged that making her mum's eyebrows furrow even more.

"i better go and check on her" leah stood up excusing herself as she followed suit pushing the door on the pub toilet door seeing you touching up your lip gloss as you regained your composure from the feeling on her hands on your body.

leah locking the door behind her, a rye smile on her lips as she stepped just that little bit closer to you, feeling your heart beat just that little bit faster.

was it nerves, probably but maybe it was more the uncertainty as you never knew what you were going to get with the blonde.

"are you sure?" leah whispered as she placed a quick kiss to your cheek before resting her hands to your hips as a smug smile came from you before you nodded.

"do you think you can keep up?" leah teased as your shot her a shocked look as she pulled you into deeper into the bathroom, your back now pushed flush against the sink.

"i'm sure i can.. business partner-" you whisper as you inch closer to her, making your eyes switch between her eyes and lips a flash of shock appearing on her face.

but just as leah opened her mouth to say another teasing comment, you wrap your hand behind her neck and slam your lips against hers. the kiss quickly turning heated when leah's tongue enters your mouth as a familiar warmth floods your body in seconds,

her hands gripping at your waist as she tugs you closer to her without breaking the kiss. the sound of your lips together was enough to leave an uncomfortable throbbing inbetween your legs.

leah pulls back for a moment searching for anything in your eyes that may say that you don't want this but there was nothing but lust, a small whine leaving your lips at the loss of contact in your lips before leah's diving right back in.

the sound that had been blasting through the pub had now quieten to a mere hum as your focus was solely now on the girl in front of you.

her hands placed on the small on your back slightly pushing in to make your back arch as your chest pushed into her. as leah's hands soon made their way slowly to slide down you your ass as your tongues graze against each other.

"so pretty for me, my love" your heart jumps at her loving tone as you feel the blood rush to your cheeks, leah's words always having some sort of effect on you and always leaving you feeling flustered.

leah's eyes roam your figure as her hand traces absentmindedly, as if she planning her next attack on your body. the blonde noticing the way your breath hitched when her fingers sit on your pulse point on your neck.

leah rotating her hand so her fingers lie gently against it awaiting your reaction as she smirks watching as you squeeze your eyes shut, as your hands grip against the rim of the sink.

a small chuckle leaves leah's lips as she leans down to press her lips to your neck sucking harshly on your sweet spot. a string of little whimpers leave your pretty little lips as you tilt your head more to the side allowing leah to have more access.

"le, please do something" you beg, feeling her hand roam underneath your hoodie, grazing across your breasts.

"don't be impatient baby girl" she rasps against your ear, tugging down on it with her teeth as you feel your self squeeze your thighs together. hoping it will help you relieve some tension between her legs.

leah finally lifting your hoodie over your head as she throws to the ground of the pub bathroom. usually you would have felt embarrassed as you would feel your whole body want to cower aways but with leah, it felt different. it felt good, it felt right.

-

it was a typical saturday night, leah had her home match at the emirates on the sunday so she was taking advantage of her the small out of rest time she had. a small hum of the tv playing in the background as you watched it, but really all your mind could focus on was the fact leah’s fingers were combing through the ends of your hair.

you were lying wrapped in leah's arms on her couch as the tv played, leah focused on some insta reel on her phone. you head tucked on her chest as it heaved up and down, the wholesome of the interaction. it felt like it was meant to be — it felt real.

"le?" you whispered your head turning to look up at the blonde as a small hum left her lips, her phone lowering a little.

"where do you see yourself in a year?" you asked, it was something that played on your mind a lot, cause would you still be in some casual relationship with leah or would you have your own apartment and she’d show you off to her friends as something more.

you were more hoping for the second option, since the months had passed since you both promised out of breathe that there wouldn’t be any strings attached.

and boy oh boy had that changed, especially since your favourite bra lived in her dresser. it was pretty hard to be casual.

“cause maybe we’d be more and going on cute little dates in a cafe before you’d go off to training” you began as you sat up, you rambling on as your hands flew around with some enthusiasm making you miss the way leah’s face changed.

“and then when you come home i’d be there waiting, your dinner on the table-“ you paused as you looked down to see leah’s face, puzzled but also her eyes they told you a different emotion, not the same energy you had but it was sadness — more a sense of guilt.

“i- sorry i got ahead of myself” you mumbled as your back sunk into the back of her couch, the further side from her.

leah shook her head, and you were half expecting her to wrap you in a hug and kiss your cheek and tell you it was okay and that maybe she felt the same way.

but she didn’t.

"y/n, remember, we're not together-" leah cut straight to the point, her tone blunt as you felt your heart drop and your brows furrowing and a quickly developing pout spreading across your lips.

you let out a shaky breath as you nodded slowly, you understood. she had kept her side of the promise of no strings attached. “i- just thought maybe?” you said so quietly it only came out as a whisper as you fidgeted with your fingers.

looking up to see leah’s face it told you everything you needed to know. you’d only known the blonde for a several amount of months but you knew her well enough to know what her face was telling you without actually having to say the actual words.

“oh i get it” you scoffed slightly, choking back on the tears which pricked at your eyes. all it ever was going to be was casual.

leah’s opened her mouth but nothing came out as she sat herself up on the couch but before she could even attempt to reach out to you, you were up from the couch. slipping your shoes on your feet. you didn’t want to be in the same room as her.

“y/n- don’t” leah finally managed to get out as she followed your actions following you into her hallway which was littered with her football memorabilia from her glittering career. but you shook your head, her voice to painful to hear as you stopped with your back to her just before the front door.

"do you know what's actually quite funny-" you paused to let out a little chuckle as you stood mere metres from the door, as you looked up from your shoes spinning slightly so you faced her. leah stood her shoulders sunken as she tried to plead with you not to leave.

"i actually thought i meant something to you- but i guess that's just how little i actually meant to you" you sighed as tried to steady your breath, tears prickling at your eyes ready to fall at any moment.

"i- i was ready-" you paused as your words got stuck in your throat, leah reaching out for you as you took a step back. "i was ready to give you my everything" you admitted it coming out just a little louder than a whisper.

"y/n-"

“no leah, you’d made it clear how you feel” you spat out as you spun on your heal, leaving leah calling out your name but your ignored her, reaching for the door and hearing how it clicked shut behind you.

part of you was hoping she was going to rip her front door open and call after you and not stop until you were back in the warmth of her arms but the corridor in her apartment block was silent.

the other part of you hated yourself how long you had let it drag out for, but now you were free. she can go to hell.

stumbling through the street as your tears fell down your cheeks, tapping away at your phone until you found the contact you wanted, the dial drilling through your ear a few times before it got to voicemail.

you sighed as you heard the beep, "i cut her off, amelie."

[kiyomitakada]

okay fuck it i went to a leonardo da vinci exhibit today and now i have a leonardo da vinci death note AU in my head because i am a parody of myself so you can fucking have it i guess what do i even do with this

light yagami: young genius polymath who is good at literally everything

unfortunately for him he is a foreigner in italia (his family immigrated) so the government is not letting him anywhere near their weaponry projects. instead he does art. yes light yagami painted the mona lisa no i do not take criticism i’m in too deep

his portraits are predictably amazing. smash hit. soon aristocracy from all over italy is contacting him to draw them and their mother. this means he doesnt even have time in the day to draw giant fuckoff warship designs anymore. what point is there to life, he sulks.

eventually he accepts a commission from one kyosuke higuchi! we’re italianizing him because i really don’t think this AU works otherwise but let’s call him higuchi anyway. higuchi is a fifty-something duke of something or other who has recently married one misa amane who is twenty-something (the same age as light). misa is the subject of the portrait because higuchi just loves his darling wife so much (read: they had a shotgun wedding and higuchi needs to keep up appearances)

light is like wow someone who isn’t white it’s been like five years. i kind of feel bad for her, this situation is very suspicious. hello miss amane if you’ll just sit down over there while i get my brushes

misa (seeing the first person who has been even remotely sympathetic to her absolutely horrific life, noticing he hasn’t tried to make any advances on her at all [this is a good thing]): I AM DRASTICALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.

light: what

misa’s plan of seducing light predictably fails because he’s light, so she explains she has to get the fuck away from higuchi somehow

light is like okay well i am sorry to hear that but what does this have to do with me.

misa, tearing up: im a damsel in distress! also i can get you information about his court

light: whats his job

misa: financial advisor

light: oh fuck yes okay

so light’s plan is now to worm into the yotsuba court to get funding and hopefully sway them enough to let him pitch his cool weaponry ideas so he can Change The World. he does need income in general too (both for himself and his family; expected lifespan was way shorter then obviously).

misa’s plan is to kill higuchi somehow which will be much easier with light as backup she thinks

so. light packs up and moves to the yotsuba court which is thrilled to have THE light yagami portrait artist (i do more than portraits…) in their employ

oh yeah, misa mentions, the prince of the yotsuba court is kind of… weird

light: you could have told me this before

misa: ehe. dont worry about it!! it’s just um. he had a weird personality shift a few years ago? and now he refuses to wear royal attire. he always dresses like a peasant.

light: well it’s not like i’m going to be there to judge him on fashion am i.

THAT’S RIGHT. SIKE THIS IS AN ISEKAI NOW. yes L does remember light killing him <3 he (L) woke up in fifteenth century renaissance italy in a twenty-something-year-old body immediately after the heart attack. by some miracle he already knew italian.

so everything is going swell until one day light walks into his workshop to find the prince flipping through his notebook

light, sleep deprived: hey what the fu—i mean. uh. good morning your highness

there’s no need for that formality. call me L.

(…but your name doesn’t start with an L?) thank you, your highness L. um. sorry i know my handwriting’s messy.

on the contrary i find it completely readable, as long as one reads backwards and caesar shifts it three letters forward.

(oh SHIT he’s onto me) haha what are you talking about?

in fact i think this mechanical dragonfly contraption is rather ingenious.

oh aha that’s not important, just a passing fancy honestly

[ignoring him] if only you had some better way of providing torque, because as it stands the spring engine is extremely poorly designed.

what the fuck did you just say to me

[they end up physically fighting over the notebook because of course they do. meet cute!]

some more details:

ryuk is the patron light eventually gets after being in higuchi’s court for a bit

rem is higuchi’s personal assistant, who was disowned by her own royal-blooded family because her family sucks. she hates her job. if it weren’t for misa she’d probably be on the other side of the country by now

i don’t know where the wammy kids are. they’re definitely competing to be the heir to L’s throne but also they’re not related because there is no way that all the wammy kids (the whole orphanage of wammy kids) could have come from the same person. maybe some kind of insufferably high collar royal boarding school? did they even have those? help me

kiyomi and teru are both advisors in other courts (which are extremely corrupt, light seethes, in his perfect world there wont be any of those anymore) (you work for a court light) (thats different)

okay i’m done for today. you never know about tomorrow though. /threat.

[ @deathnotetober day 12: isekai ]

[iguessitsjustme]

My Favorite BL of 2024:

Is it 4 days after the new year? Yes. Am I making this a tad bit late. Probably. Do I care? Nope. Doing this for me.

These are my top 10 shows that aired and finished in 2024. I did have to whittle it down from around 20 and that was hard. But this is the list. But first.

Honorable mentions:

Love in the Big City - watched on Viki.

The reason this is not in the list of top 10 BL is because I categorize this as a queer story instead of a BL. It's missing the typical BL tropes and style, but it was damn good. After I watched it, it sat with me for awhile. It's still sitting with me. It was tough to watch at times, but it was worth it for me and I enjoyed it a lot.

I Hear the Sunspot - watched on Gagaoolala.

The same reason this did not make it into the favorites. This show is not a BL to me. Yes, it features a queer love, but that is not the focus nor is it the point of the show. This is a show about communication and acceptance and growth. The romance is secondary to all of that. The romance is used as a way to show the communication and acceptance and growth for multiple different characters.

The On1y One - watched on Viki.

This show. This SHOW. So good. I am scared we will never get a second season. The reason that this show is not on the list is because we didn't quite get to the romance yet. I truly hope we get more but I don't know if my heart can take it. Oh it was such a good show though. This show was one of my liveblogs (I promise I'll finish posting them at some point).

Now, on to the list in descending order of my favorites:

10. Century of Love - watched on Gagaoolala.

Listen. This show had some issues BUT listen. I am a sucker for a reincarnated lovers story. And I have been waiting my entire life for a show to do reincarnated lovers but they came back as a different gender. I loved the twist this show pulled by making it not certain if Vee was actually the reincarnation of Wat. I love when things get left up to the interpretation of the audience. I love that it also didn't matter because what mattered is that San chose Vee. He didn't need soulmates, he needed choice and that is what the show gave him.

9. Wandee Goodday - watched on YouTube.

I can't really explain why I loved this show so much except that I really loved both Yak and Wandee. Yak was such a green flag throughout the show and Wandee was actually very good at communicating his boundaries. It was refreshing to see. I wish it had handled certain things better, but overall this show was something I looked forward to a whole lot every week.

8. At 25:00 in Akasaka - watched on Gagaoolala.

This show felt weirdly calming to me. The way that all of the characters moved throughout the world was so calming. Shirasaki and Hayama are perfectly balanced. I love how they love each other. It took them awhile to get there, but once they did, it was so wholesome and delightful.

7. Deep Night - watched on IQIYI.

POLY. This show gave us canon poly. Did we get enough of them? No. Alas they were the sides. But it made me so incredibly happy. The leads were great too. Wela and Khem had wonderful communication the entire way through the show which was super unexpected in a show like this. This show also did not hold back on the heat. But the main reason I love this show so much (other than the poly) is just how supportive everyone ends up being of everyone. It was wonderful to see. This show was one of my liveblogs.

6. Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart - watched on IQIYI

Yes, yes I know. I was pretty vocal in my critiques of this show (well vocal for me). But despite my issues with it, I really loved this show a whole lot. I love anything involving a heist and they really went and made it gay. God bless. Joke has become one of my all time favorite characters. I liked that this show tried something new. It gave us something new and something interesting. It was intriguing and it was fun. It was an absolute joy to watch and post about and it was the show that I probably felt the most in community with other people watching. I love YinWar for giving us this show and putting so much of their hearts into it. It was obvious how much everyone involved cared.

5. We Are - watched on IQIYI

It should surprise no one that this show is on my list. First of all, TanFang. My absolute favorites. But this show was so slow and so calm. There was such little conflict it basically was nonexistent. It was exactly what I needed. The summer months are always hard for me mentally and this show was a nice break for my brain. I loved all of the couples. Some of the couples definitely had pacing issues but I still love them. It was a delightful show and sometimes I just want a show that I can trust will greet me like a friend each week.

4. My Stand-In - watched on IQIYI

I love my toxic boys. Ming you absolute disaster. This show was a RIDE. I couldn't get enough. Joe was such a good person and the whole story is bonkers and Ming was a walking talking red flag and still I was rooting for him. I also loved how much effort the creators put into this show. I don't think I've ever seen so much analysis done of character's backs in my life. It was GREAT. I want a million more shows just like this. We all deserve it.

3. Monster Next Door - watched on Gagaoolala

Just like We Are, this show greeted me like a friend each week. I could count on this show to feel like a warm hug. God and Diew are quite literally the cutest of all time. God was the biggest green flag we have had in awhile, if ever. I mean, no one truly did it like him. That man literally went out of his way to make sure Diew wouldn't even see his face until Diew was ready for it. The only sin this show ever committed was not getting Khun Shy a proper tank. I know that it wouldn't have fit with the aesthetic or whatever, but I was stressed. This is a show that I imagine I will be rewatching at least once a year if not more.

2. Unknown - watched grey first then on Viki

It was soooo hard not to put this as number 1. This show was everything to me when it was airing. I actually found a translation of the book to read online after the show finished airing because I did not want to be done. The way Yuan loved Qian was absolutely wild but my god I loved it. Watching Qian learn to reciprocate Yuan's feelings but also to let himself finally be taken care of was fantastic. I loved their whole family dynamic. I loved the friends. I loved how hard each character worked, not just at life but they all worked hard at love. All types of love. Unknown really told us that love is not always easy and sometimes it is the hardest thing to do, but it is worth the effort. And it also gave me the scene of Qian chasing down San Pang while Yuan sat back and laughed. Iconic.

Love for Love's Sake - watched on IQIYI

This is the only show that could take the #1 spot for me. It was the show this year. It aired last January and I am still thinking about it and how much I love it. Myungha is undoubtedly one of my favorite characters. Something about him just spoke to me, the way I'm sure his character spoke to a lot of people. Everything about this show from beginning to end was executed flawlessly (in my opinion) and I cannot stop thinking about how it said that even the worst most unlovable parts of yourself are worth loving and actually they aren't the worst and the aren't unlovable. It might be hard to love those parts of yourself, but it's so easy to love them in someone else. And they will love them in you too. This is a show that I would absolutely love a physical copy of so I can force everyone I know to watch it.

Sorry for how long the post is. I chose not to include screenshots mostly because I'm lazy and now I'm glad because this is already very long.

[twopoppies]

I don’t even know how to begin this, neither if it’s gonna make any sense at all. But I feel like I have to get it off my chest and scrolling through your blog made me feel like this is the right place to do so.

I never had any friends in the fandom. When I joined in 2017, barely in high school, they had already gone on hiatus. There were no more OT5 concerts to look forward it was all just videos and songs and memories of others that I got to enjoy and learned to cherish for myself.

Through the years since, there have been times where One Direction and all their solo work has pulled me up when I was down. Times when loneliness was overcome by watching hours of concerts videos and compilations on youtube - and they always made me smile. And also times where other things in life had more priority and I didn’t check into the fandom for months at times.

The first time I realised that what seemed to be the best time for us as fans was the absolute worst for them as artists, was when I watched that podcast interview of Liam a few years back. It was heartbreaking hearing it, and maybe that was also one moment where I realised I was no longer a naive teenage girl but on my way to adulthood.

I haven’t kept up with Liam or the other boys this year as much, but I always believed that whenever I really needed them, the boys will just always be there - maybe my mind immortalised them some way or other.

Seeing these news now, broke me on a level I didn’t expect and can’t even really explain. Hearing the accusations towards Liam and the man he seemingly became I don’t even know how to grieve.

How DO you grieve someone that brought you joy but at the same time acted in ways you just can’t condone with your values and beliefs?

Maybe what I am grieving the most is the lost chance of accountability and change. Mental illness is no joke and I know that a persons best version and worst version of themselves can be completely different. He should have gotten the chance to at least try again, to go to rehab and get better - to heal.

Before I went to bed tonight I tried to be brave and told my dad cause I just didn’t know how to handle it. I talked about Liams addiction and alcoholism and abuse, but I also talked about the music and the fact that I just feel like someone is missing and I don’t even know if I’m allowed to feel that way.

I’ll forever be grateful that all my dad did, was take me into his arms and comfort me. He didn’t laugh or called it a teenage obsession or said that it’s not right to grieve for someone who you didn’t even know personally.

All he said was that it’s okay to grieve cause it just showed that you cared. You can grieve for lost chances and for what a person once meant to you, even if they might not be quite that same person anymore (even if it seems a little selfish, grieving is always personal).

I hope he’s better now and doesn’t feel any of the pain he’s very obviously been holding in for however many years. My heart goes out to the people who really knew him - his family, his son, his friends and girlfriend, and the boys.

Sleep easy and rest in peace Liam 🕊️

Your dad sounds like a very sweet man. I'm glad he was there for you in the way that you needed him to be.

I don't know the answer to your questions, but I feel similarly that one of the things I'm most upset about is that he died before he had a chance to heal and make amends.

Everyone deserves a redemption arc, and I'm just angry that he wasn't allowed to have his.

[drdemonprince]

Reading your experience in the introduction to Unlearning Shame made me feel so seen, and I think it helped me better understand what I've felt for so long. I went through a psychotic episode two years ago, and I deeply feel that shame played a huge part if not both directly and indirectly caused my psychosis. I was so overwhelmed with my workload while being ashamed because I had the privilege to study and live comfortably while so many are struggling. In my psychosis I essentially crafted an entire delusion that could absolve my guilt, that could explain everything about the world and give me a purpose to solve what was wrong. I was still deeply ashamed long after coming out of it, because now I was officially "crazy" and surely everyone could tell. But that breakdown led me to open up to people even though I was scared to make myself vulnerable. I started asking for help cleaning my place and doing the dishes instead of beating myself up for being a failed adult. The journey is still ongoing of course, but knowing the role that shame played in this experience that I hope never to have again is so valuable and I wanted to thank you for that.

Wow, thank you so much for this message. I'm so grateful to hear the opening of the book resonated with you. People really do not get told how much of psychosis, delusions, and other highly stigmatized mental health symptoms are contextual, both social and economic in how they manifest and why. It shouldn't be anything to be ashamed of -- your mind tried to communicate it was at its limit while also offering absolution to you. It is horrible you got pushed to the point it had to happen, but there is nothing wrong with you for the fact that it did. It happens to so many of us, and in our madness and unrulyness and divergence we kick at the bars that keep us from being free as best we can. I am glad that you have come through a really tough, impossible-feeling period with some vulnerability and understanding. Thanks for reading.

[nobody-is-here01]

back on my bullshit, (im here to spam you Marine Luffy stuff)

Thinking about Marine Luffy’s dynamic with the 7 warlords and it's one of the funniest things ever.

Boa Hancock is going to get her own post because I have SO MUCH to say about her and Canon! Luffy along with Marine Luffy’s dynamic with her.

Anyway, personal headcanons of what I think Marine Luffy and the Warlords dynamics are.

Doflamingo: Luffy is usually the one who during Warlord meetings has to deal with Doflamingo’s bullshit. This is partially because Luffy is the only thing that really puts the fear of god back into Doflamingo. Also, Marine luffy is absolutely feral, and terrifying, and does indeed bite. I think in some twisted ways Luffy in this AU reminds Doflamingo of when he's younger. In some fucked up way of trying to cope with trauma Doflamingo tries to simulate situations that he went through as a kid to see how Luffy reacts. To see if things had been a bit better, if things had been different, if Doflamingo could have been a better person. The Dressrosa Arc still happens in this AU except a bit later. As Doflamingo’s tyrant rein finally falls he realizes that “huh maybe we never were that similar…”

(I have no idea if this AU is a Crocomom AU or not but I’ll go ahead and write up how it would go in either situations.)

Crocodile: Dynamic is definitely more cold and distant than in an AU where Crocodile is Luffy’s other parent. Luffy is seen as a threat, and Crocodile has at least 15 different drawn-up plans on how to deal with him. (none of these plans would actually work in practice.) The dynamic is pretty much just business, you leave me be I’ll leave you be.

Crocomom: Similar to the first one. Except the first time he meets Luffy and he hears that he's Garp's grandkid he's freaking the fuck out. Because holyshit, that's his alive, grownup, kid. Crocodile has no idea how to explain to Luffy that like “hey im your biological mother, now a man, hahaha…” So Crocodile simply doesn't. (The two of them do have a heart-to-heart much later alone in Impel down during the breakout.)

Moria: Honestly I don't have much to say about him. Luffy absolutely hates Hogback and Absolom though. So Luffy has a dislike for Moria and what he does. But Moria out of all the warlords not including Kuma is the easiest to deal with, so that earns him some brownie points.

Kuma: Im not sure if you caught up with the latest chapters. (specifically his backstory chapters) so I will be staying silent for now as not to spoil anything for you.

Mihawk: Mihawk is both intrigued and concerned at the beginning. Because that is Shank’s hat, and Shank’s kid. Why is Shank’s brat in the Marines?? Mihawk also like all the other warlords tends to use Luffy as some form of a coping mechanism. It's not uncommon to hear about Luffy and Mihawk getting into another physical fight. But after a while, Mihawk does realize that he has been accidentally treating Luffy as if he is Shanks. Mihawk realizes that he can't force Luffy to become his new sparring partner. Luffy is not Shanks, and he can't fill that hole either. After Marine Ford Mihawk reads the news regularly, a rare grin on his face whenever he catches sight of a straw hat.

Jinbei: That is Luffy’s emotional support parental figure your honor! The only one who is normal, safe, and sane. Also, the only one to look at Luffy and go “Are you okay?? I don't think healthy humans are supposed to act like that.” Also, the one to get Luffy to open up and heal slowly after Marineford. Also Luffy definitely knows the full truth of what happened to Fisher Tiger in this AU, so yeah that's something.

(I am so sorry, this is a really long post 💀)

Aaaahhhhhh!!! I've missed you and your bullshit bombarding my asks!

I love how with each dynamic all of them are also like, 'alright this kid is fucked up, keep an eye on him' but for different reasons

So here are some of my thoughts on what Marine Luffy’s relationship is with the warlords (love yours so much)

Crocodile : so unfortunately not a coco-mom au, like you said their relationship is strictly business, Luffy doesn't really care for the warlords as long as they don't get in his way.

Domflamingo : Luffy finds him kinda annoying so he tries to avoid any situation where he would meet him, unfortunately he can't at warlord meetings, but he's tried, probably one of the only warlords Luffy wouldn't mind punching out of the blue, dude would punch him without reason (gets away with it too)

Kuma : (no sadly not that far yet but I know a bit of his background not much though) but Luffy likes him

Moria : almost the same relationship as Domflamingo, except he just straight up avoids him, unless he has to deal with Moria then he will and he'll do it quickly

Mihawk : one of the few warlords Luffy actually respects, he admires his fighting and his character, granted it annoyed him a bit to constantly be reminded of Shanks, like you said he also like the other warlords used luffy as some form of coping, but after he realized what he did he stopped and him and Luffy kinda became like gossip buddies, like they'd hang out whenever Mihawk was in the area, but Luffy wouldn't actively seek him out, Mihawk would have to come to him if he wanted someone to talk to or spar with,

Jimbe : only warlord and person that Luffy actually likes from the warlords, yes he likes Mihawk, but Jimbe is different, Luffy has a sort of awe for Jimbe and felt very honored to know about him and his past with Fisher Tiger, Jimbe is the only one who knows that Luffy secretly wishes he was a pirate instead of a Marine, when Jimbe asked why Luffy didn't just become a pirate now Luffy replied saying that he's made so many promises to the people he protects that he doesn't want to go back, not now at least, Jimbe is also the only one who knows about Ace and Sabo and how much Luffy misses them and how proud he is of them

absolutely love your asks 🩷

Have aa good day/night

[poppitron360]

Sorry I’ve gotta immediately come bother you about the kids because I love Finley and I have questions and you said you’d like to be asked questions about your OCs so (also hi this is @demigod-shenanigans btw but since that’s a side blog I can only send asks from my dead main blog that I never use)

So:

-What is his relationship with his parents like? Obviously they love him to bits but beyond that, I mean. Favorite activities they do together? Does Nico regularly get forced into family Star Wars marathons? Does Will have strong feelings about him being the quest healer when he himself was forced to take up the camp healer role when he was very young?

-What’s his relationship with his extended family like? Especially wondering about Hazel but also Hades and Apollo -Has he ever been to Camp Jupiter/New Rome?

-How old was he when he attended camp for the first time? What was his first summer at camp like?

-Favorite and least favorite camp activities?

-What does he do for fun?

Sorry this is kind of a lot haha you don’t have to answer all of it if you don’t want to

AAAAHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK NEVER APOLOGISE I LOVE IT

- Nico IS forced into family star wars marathons, but doesn’t mind it bc he thinks Annakin is cute. I also think Han and Leia were Fin’s bisexual awakenings, although he didn’t know it at the time. When he first saw Star Wars he didn’t know he was a boy, and so when he saw Princess Leia In The Gold Bikini he thought “oh shit am I a Lesbian” and honestly we’ve all been there.

- There are a lot more Apollo kids now, and so Finley was never under a lot of pressure at Camp. When he goes on the quest, he’s suddenly the chief healer, they’re in constant danger, his friends are getting lightly stabbed, his parents aren’t around, and he’s suddenly put in control of their health. It’s a big shift for him and he struggles to cope with the drastic change. Will will definitely have strong feelings about this, and the fact that children are still being sent on dangerous quests and the cycle isn’t broken is a big theme in the fic. There’s a whole argument of “who is better to send on the quest: retired demigods who have been through enough shit for ten lifetimes or literal children”

- Apollo absolutely ADORES him. He is that grandpa that loves his grandkids so much and always gives them sweets and listens to them talk about their interests and shows up to their piano recitals. Not many demigods live to adulthood, and even then not many choose to have kids, so Apollo absolutely spoils him rotten and is also super protective of him.

- As for Hades- Finley doesn’t visit the underworld very often but when he does he is treated like a Prince. Hades and Persephone love to have him over for dinner and he has his own room in their palace. Hades doesn’t really know how to interact with him most of the time but he tries his best (zombie chauffeurs are still his best tactic). “The Ghost Prince” is very much revered by most of the souls in Hades’ kingdom.

- Apollo also adores Olympia and Isabella (but I’ll make a separate post about their lore)

- He is also loved my his Auntie Hazel. He was kinda worried about explaining the whole trans thing to her but she understood it instantly, and then went on a whole rant about how escalators make no sense. Frazel’s kids only show up a bit in the fic bc they’re a bit younger and are currently training in the Legion. He has a good relationship with them. Isabella is also very close with them bc she lives in New Rome, and they laugh about the whole “my mom kissed your great-great grandad one time” thing. Finley also has a good relationship with his Uncle Frank, who bought him his bow and teaches him archery stuff.

- He’s been to Camp eight years in a row, including the time the fic is set. He’s been going since he was six. He was kinda nervous at first and timid and shy, but he slowly started to feel more confident and at home there, especially after he came out as trans. As a legacy of two gods, he’s allowed in both the Apollo and Hades cabins. He mostly hangs out with the Apollo group when doing activities but if he ever feels like sitting at a quieter table at lunch he goes to the Hades table. He also does some of his group activities with Oly and Isabella and the other Big Three kids (although there aren’t that many), and is technically speaking senior counsellor of Hades cabin so can sit in on meetings.

- He loves training, especially with his friends. He also loves music lessons and capture the flag. He hates anything to do with physical touch. I am also touch averse and I HATED PE as a kid, especially when playing things like rugby or football. Because of this, he’s not very physically violent and prefers to attack from afar with his bow.

- He loves Mythomagic and Star Wars. He’s also kind of into fashion and likes to experiment with clothes that give him gender euphoria. I know he plays music but I’ve yet to decide what instrument (I’d say either Piano or Bass but I’m incredibly biased as those are my instruments). He can also sing really well, but doesn’t really like the sound of his voice. I imagine once he’s grown up and able to take testosterone, he’d get into singing more and more as his voice got deeper. I also think he’s a fan of mcyt and the Hermitcraft/Life series (although how that would work without internet idk). He also likes to cook, and him and Isabella take turns cooking on their quest.

In your reblogs of my other post you asked about my Isabella x Finley hcs and so I’d like to share them here (they are technically canon but I don’t think I can fit them in my fic so they just exist in my head right now):

- First of all, they do end up dating by the end of the fic. Both of them have had massive crushes on each other for a while, but are too awkward to say anything, and the only one who knows about it is Olympia, who is begging them to get together and put an end to the constant pining.

- They’re a straight passing couple, but they’re both bisexual

- Aside from his dads, Isabella and Olympia were first people he came out to as trans.

- Isabella speaks Spanish and Finley speaks Italian, but since the languages are like 82% similar they have this game where they tell each other things in their respective languages and try to understand what they’re saying. Sometime Isabella slips into Latin to mix things up.

- This also gives a change for some solangelo/valgrace bonding as parents. They are all thrilled for their kids and insist on inviting them over for family board game night. I think Jason and Nico are trying to one-up each other as to who can be the prouder parent.

- Soon after they start dating, their periods sync up, which is hell for both of them, especially Fin. But they make each other herbal tea and hot water bottles and take care of each other.

- They first say “I love you” when Fin comes to Isabella feeling very dysphoric and just asks her to distract him and she’s like, “sure. I’m in love with you”

- One time there’s a big ballroom dance at Hades’ palace and the Di Angelo-Solaces are cordially invited as members of the royal family. Finley asks Isabella if she can come and she’s like “YES!” And goes all-out, dressing like a gorgeous goth princess fit for the Ghost Prince. They dance. It’s beautiful.

- Isabella lives in New Rome, but Finley stays in New York. After a while Will has to step in and stop him from sun-travelling to the bay area every day because it is burning him out, and so Isabella arranges to fly over on Festus to see him.

- When he’s finally old enough to get top surgery, Isabella and Olympia are by his side supporting him and take care of him while he’s in recovery. Your honour I love them sm.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Can we get some stuff recharging adult Lucky and Kaku? … asking for a friend.

anon I am gently kissing you on the forehead, thank you so much I have been wanting to talk about them since finishing Enies Lobby

under the cut because I am mentally ill about this man

When they meet, it's in the kitchen of the Going Merry when he comes to check out the ship. Lucky was already a little rattled from the Franky Family trying to jump them, so a strange man suddenly appearing on the ship definitely scares her a bit.

That, and the whole Enel situation happened like not even a week ago.

She freezes and stares at him when he walks in, and he isn't doing any better. He just came to do an evaluation on a ship and now he's finding this poor, battered woman cowering in one of the rooms.

He snaps out of it and is quick to explain who he is and why he's there. Once she's calmed down and realized she isn't about to be attacked again, he steps closer and asks in a hushed tone if she needs help. Rescuing people being held hostage on a pirate ship is hardly a first for Galley-La.

Her attempts to convince him that she is actually fine aren't particularly successful, but he doesn't force her to come with. He does talk her into showing him around the ship "just in case he misses something", but really he's just worried Zoro is going to do something to Lucky when he isn't looking.

Just as he's leaving, he slips a piece of paper into her pocket. It's hastily jotted down directions to Dock 1 if she changes her mind. Lucky is somewhat charmed. While his concern was ultimately unnecessary, it was very sweet of him.

Kaku, meanwhile, is having a crisis. Being able to shut down and disregard emotions is something he had to get good at in his line of work, so why could he not get Lucky out of his head? Why does he feel like he needs to go back and save her? He puts it aside, but just barely.

It keeps building as the arc progresses and further encounters make him feel even more hot under the collar. He went out of his way to bring her some lunch while also covertly doing CP9 stuff because she mentioned wishing she could've tried this one particular food Water 7 was known for. He's down bad and has no idea what to do.

Ultimately, he leaves her behind when their cover is blown and they all head to Enies Lobby, but when she comes there... His resolve breaks. Clearly this is meant to be, why else would she have come here despite the danger? She was meant to be his. She wants this as bad as he does.

After being defeated by Zoro, he uses the last of his strength to find and bring her with him. He's 100% ready to leave everything behind just to be with her. This doesn't work out thanks to Lucky having an impact dial on her, but even after taking such a vicious blow, he's still attempting to reach out to her.

Kaku hates who and what he is. He never asked to be an assassin, none of them did, but he could never fully settle into the roll. A part of him always resented the people who did this to him. Who forced him to live such a horrible life when he could have been normal if they'd laid eyes on anyone but him.

Lucky is his second chance. She's an opportunity to run away and restart his disaster of a life. To experience the normalcy he had up until now thought would only ever be a fantasy.

All he wants is to walk away from all this and be a normal, happy couple living a refreshingly mundane life. Sure, it wouldn't be completely normal, they would have to move around constantly to evade detection from the world government that would absolutely be looking for him, but it's nothing they can't persevere through together.

The thing he wants most is a family. The memories of his own family from his childhood are so far away and unclear that he isn't even entirely sure they're real or just something he came up with to make himself feel better. But now, with Lucky, he could have something indisputably real. Their children would be as adorable as they would be loved, that's what he tells her when he's trying to force convince her to come with him.

Kaku is delusional to an extreme. He only ever sees Lucky as a victim of circumstance that is so traumatized from her past that she can't be trusted to make good decisions for herself. That's why she needs a little push, he tells himself.

Please ask me more about him, I'm obsessed as you can probably tell.

[abcd-adventures]

I feel like I saw every hour pass last night...it is going to be a long day. I just could not get to sleep last night. Work was so busy yesterday that it feels mostly like a blur. One thing I definitely remember is having a meeting with the case manager of one of our newish residents to try to see how best to work with him and try to integrate him better into the community. One of my personal challenges with him is that he loudly comments on my appearance or hits on me every time I walk by. Since his apartment is very close to my office, that happens extremely frequently and other residents have started complaining about it/bringing it up to me. I tried to talk to him about it, and then my boss talked to him about it...and he's decided to "resolve" the issue by now shouting at me, "You're UGLY!" or "I HATE that dress you're wearing!" or something to that effect. Obviously, that is not better, and I have to constantly deescalate other residents who hear it and feel the need to jump to my defense. I really hate it, and I need to find the time to brainstorm how to deal with it, but now my brain is just complete mush and I really just want to hide from him. So mature of me, I know.

Back in December, someone hit my car and scraped all along the driver and rear driver-side door--they'd tried to avoid rear-ending me by hopping a curb but lost control and still hit me. Well, my car was drivable and both doors functioned fine, so I procrastinated on getting it taken care of. I finally dropped it off at the body shop and apparently there is some tiny dent in the frame and it's totaled because of that. So, last night, despite the fact I was feeling practically comatose, we called our favorite car dealer who has sold us our last two vehicles and we went over to the dealership and bought a new car. Just like that. We called a woman who knows us, she stayed late to help us, we bought a car outright, and now I have a new CR-V hybrid. It's possible that I'm just very, very tired, but the whole thing just made me cry. Now, thinking about it again, I am still about to cry. I mean, sure, obviously, I am incredibly grateful. But, WTF? It just doesn't seem right or fair. There is absolutely no reason that my life is as privileged as it is. I think about what it once was--and how it could have ended up, and it just feels surreal and so ridiculous. That also probably sounds ridiculous, and I could explain, but I'm too tired, and I need to drag myself through the shower and get ready for work...and hopefully between now and 9am I'll be less of a basket case since I'm kind-of supposed to look like I have my shit together to be believable at my job.

[mothhue]

i have lot of questionssss! But I'll shorten it so you can read it easier!

How did you get idea of this au? I absolutely love your art style and your au!

2. When did you start drawing your current au?

3. Did you play A Hat in Time and got inspired by this game that you made your own current au?

Aw thank you very much for the sweet words!! I always loved ocean themed stuff, so eventually I got the idea for the slugkids. It kinda just spiraled from there! I always wanted to try and make an AU, this is my first time making a proper one and I'm having fun :D

Unfortunately I have not actually played a hat in time because I can only play games on my laptop, which would prpbably explode if I tried loading a 3D platformer

also I am bad at games 😔 like genuinely I would not get past mafia boss fr

I got to know ahit through youtuber merg's playthrough of it, so I still know what happens in the game (I also probably went through the entire ahit wiki twice at this point hahah)

I suppose you can call it being inspired! I wish I could explain the thought process behind my au a bit better, but I have no idea how to explain it in words that make sense <:) the best I can describe how I think up stuff is just

Like this

[dreamoit]

Viola, here is an older version of Prismatic, 16+ years old. Basically his cracked arm completely broke, the only thing connecting it is rainbow magic. Prismatic wears special black gloves to control the magic with his arm. He practically has the similar abilities as color and delta. This was so lazy-

Story:

Young Prismatic had to transfer school due to bullies. At that school, he meets Aer, Origami and Stärke. Very soon, he will have a new younger sister named Sunny.

14 years old: School bullies started to pick on Prismatic and his friends. The bullies made fun of Origami’s inability to speak and often pulled Aer’s knock-off wings to mess with him. They really crossed the line when they attacked Origami and Stärke. Stärke fought back and ended up chasing after three of the bullies as they ran away. Aer went to get the teachers. The last two picked and pushes Prismatic at his cowardice and how weak he is. Hitting his already cracked arms was the last straw as Pris suddenly bursted “I AM NOT WEAK”. Origami was in shock, he didn’t knew Prismatic had that in him. At that moment, Prismatic’s arm exploded as flaming rainbow magic flared in all its might and glory. Prismatic threw a fist at the two bullies, burning their faces while leaving ugly bruises. Of course, all the bullies were sent to the emergency room since Stärke absolutely busted the three bullies who ran away. Prismatic and Stärke both got suspended for 2 weeks while Origami went to the nurse with Aer’s help. Getting home, the teachers had to talk to Delta and Color about their son’s behavior. The two told his teacher they would talk to him, and the teacher her left. Prismatic explained everything and how his arm exploded. Color and Delta decides not to lecture him too harsh, understanding that what Pris did was of good intention but he could’ve been less violent.

Color and Delta for no less than surprised, because Prismatic had never come out of his shell like that before. All his childhood, Prismatic’s parents had tried to teach him to be more brave, but he just wouldn’t step out of his shell. Now that he did, Color and a Delta wants to encourage him to grow and become stronger. Every day after school since that day, Prismatic would train with Delta and Color, building his skills and learning to control his new-found abilities better.

16 years old: a whole two years of training and support from friends, Prismatic has a huge shift in his personality. Once a shy and frail boy is now a powerful and just teen who isn’t afraid of sticking up for the weak. He is unrecognizable to say the least. He is better at managing his emotions now and may actually appear cold normally due to his nonchalantness, but he’s really just calm and unbothered.

Personality: He is much more stable now, both mentally and with his powers. He is usually very calm and will always be open to lend a helping hand. He cannot stand injustice (his childhood trauma) and will stand up for what his believes in. He is open to new ideas from other people and will listen intently. At first look, he may appear cold, but he really isn’t, he’s just nonchalant most of the time. He is very very brave and is not afraid to take risks in order to do something “right” or protect someone.

Relationships: He is very close with his parents since they had been his support system, but one thing he wishes Delta could understand is that it is okay to cry. He also wishes Color to not be so protective. He has a good relationship with his younger sister, Sunny, always setting a good example to her, though he is not afraid to lecture her when he does something wrong. He is still friends with Aer, Stärke, and Origami, and through Stärke he is able to become friends his the Cream family (Dream x Cross family), specifically Hope.

Likes: friends, justice, cats

Dislikes: injustice, betrayal, rabbits (he’s afraid of rabbits)

PS- Someone broke his visor when he was younger so he used the remaining pieces to make a new one out of magic

Prismatic belongs to me

Color! Sans belongs to @superyoumna

Delta! Sans belongs to AnimatedZorx

Aer belongs to @pepper-mint

Origami belongs to @pepper-mint

Stärke belongs to @pepper-mint

Hope belongs to @pepper-mint

Dream! Sans belongs to @jokublog

Cross! Sans belongs to @jakei95

[iriysse]

of Eol and Aredhel.

ooc:: before i start on this I want it understood that this note applies only to how I rp Aredhel with others and not with Eol rpers. Those are flexible and I'm prone to move more in the direction of my partners, or find a middle ground. This is simply my canon for Aredhel with the Eol, if you catch my drift. Additionally I am playing fast and loose with certain aspects of LaCE, as I think the whole 'Aredhel was not wholly unwilling' bit implies a lot more than LaCE allows. Thank you. Also, this is gonna be long. TW: domestic abuse, implied rape, implied child abuse, gaslighting, murder.

---When Aredhel left Gondolin, it was with the firm belief that she would return one day. It was a jaunt, a quick little trip which ended up being the most devastating decision of her life. Those who know the story know that she was denied entry at Doriath, lost her companions, and ended up upon the edge of Nan Elmoth lost and alone. Eol in his enchantments found her, and trapped her in a labyrinth of his design to lead her straight to him.

When she met Eol, she believed he was a benevolent elf, for though she was keenly familiar with the fact that darkness could overtake overtake elves, she still had an innocent view of most of her kin. Was he odd? Absolutely. Isolated, most certainly, and being who she is she believed perhaps he suffered from loneliness. She wanted to help him, to maybe teach him that the world beyond was not so bleak as he liked to spout in rhetoric. He spoke of her family negatively, and she--foolishly--tried to explain things from the other side instead of see it as a warning.

But he was supposed to only be a moment on the way, and so she went to leave. That of course was impossible, but he played innocent in saying that it must be by Eru's design that she somehow could not find her way out of the forest, and returned once more at his door. The first time she believed it too, the second time as well. The third, she knew something was wrong.

She was angry when she approached him, accusing him of somehow bewitching her horse. Vehemently he denied it, and somehow she found herself inside by the end of the night, unsure of just when she'd decided to cross his threshold again. The next morning, she tried to leave before he woke, but her horse was gone, and though she ventured into the darkness tracking his hoofprints in the dirt, the trail soon ran cold. Once more, she found herself at Eol's door.

She backed away, intent on finding her way out through the tricks of Orome that she had learned so long ago. Time was strange, paths shifted, the forest seemed both full and empty--oppressive and lifeless. She could not find much wildlife, or if she did somehow it always seemed to get away from her, and at the end of the night, her feet would always find its way to his door. He was waiting, and she tried to reason with him to let her go by whatever enchantments he had laid. At last he relented and confessed that he simply was not ready to let her go, he asked another week, then he would lead her out himself.

Against her better judgement, she agreed. Another week she reasoned, would not be long. She did not expect him to propose the following night, nor the night after when she had refused, nor after nor after. Every request felt more like a demand, and when the week was out she sat before his table and made a demand of her own: to lead her out as she was promised. Sighing, he asked she think it over one more night, and offered her a glass of wine in token of their short friendship. Not wanting to offend, and possibly risk the chance of him letting her out the next morning, she accepted it.

How was she to know that it was laced? That it was his design to take away what freedom she had in her refusal, and make her his wife anyway. Oh he apologized the next morning, as she sat across the table in traumatized shock, reliving what she could piece together from the night before. She was his now, bound to him, and when she discovered she was pregnant it seemed as though this horrible dream was hers forever. Eol saw it as a blessing from Eru, and he confused her when he showed kindness and seeming regret over how this all had gone. Somehow he had convinced her it was her fault that he had to lace her wine with a sedative, for she was willful, but she had opened her arms in the end had she not? She could not remember, and that alone sickened her.

When Lomion was born, things seemed better at first, though soon the change truly set in. She was not allowed to name him, nor sing any song of her childhood, nor speak to him in little whispers of her family or her home. When Lomion cried, Eol became irritated and Aredhel tried to shield him from his wrath. One day she returned from a moment of reprieve to find Lomion bawling in a basket outside, Eol in his forge with no warmth in him regarding it. When she, reasonably bothered, tried to find out why, she found herself with her back to the furnace in agonizing pain. It had been her fault, he said, if she had not been in the forge she would have been alright. She agreed to stay away from it then, and to be honest she was relieved. Eol's forge was dangerous in many ways, it disturbed her what he made as well.

Lomion was three when he asked her to recite some story of his uncles, and Eol overheard. She should have known better, she decided, for Lomion was too young to keep secrets. When Eol struck she felt it was her fault, for she had given the child something he could not keep, and so she stepped between them, the first time in what would become many.

Complacency set in, and through it some semblance of peace. If she didn't fight him, things did not hurt, and she could bear it better. Lomion would not have to see her in pain unable to stop it, and she could bear it in the bedroom away from his sight. When Eol finally named him Maeglin, Aredhel hoped that it was the beginning of something better. He took their son to Doriath and the dwarves, and she requested that she might accompany them, or if not that she might be allowed some hours to see beyond the treeline. Eol strongly denied both.

By the time that Maeglin was taught enough enchantment to get them out of there, and insisted upon taking her with him to Gondolin, Aredhel was greatly scarred. Her ears were mangled, many of parts of her burned from hot irons she'd failed to avoid, she no longer resembled the proud princess of the Noldor that she had once been. She was withered, diminished, flinching at sounds and quick movements. She hated it, some fire in her rekindled by Maeglin's own fire which wanted her to fight on, but it was small and she could barely keep it alight.

When she reached Gondolin, she fell into Turgons arms and wept.

Perhaps it was best then that she died protecting Maeglin, for in the halls of Mandos she was able to find some bit of real peace. Eol was dead as well, and she could escape him under the watchful eye of Mandos, who did not take kindly to her jailer. But it was not the end, and upon being reembodied, and her memories restored, she requested special dispensation from Manwe, and with Mandos' help it was granted.

With that, her marriage to Eol was finally annulled.

[sebbbongs17]

"ZOMBIELAND in 560 days," a SEVENTEEN fanfic.

Summary: A young boy realizes what has been unleashed on the world and doesn't hesitate to survive along with other boys. Oh, and with a pretty moody girl too.

Genre: Humorous horror, suggestive, angst, crack, fluff.

Warnings: Clearly blood, bites, violence, weapons, stupid deaths and some dark humor.

Pairing: ot13 x fem!reader

A/N: English is not my first language so there may be some mistakes, so please excuse me. Also, this is not going to be that descriptive, so there may be several inconsistencies and nonsensical parts, but it's all fiction. xoxo ♡

Day 1; Act I. Do you really think I would walk all the way from home to here? No way!

Chan couldn't even explain to himself the adrenaline he was feeling right now as he ran down the hill, being chased by none other than bloodied people. Yup. You hear- well, read that right.

He had thought that having read so many comics and having seen so many zombie movies and survival documentaries would help him if one day a horrible apocalypse were to break out, but now he was beginning to believe that that wasn't the case at all. Because, look at him, he was a scared boy who was still sleeping with the door open at night. And he never believed that an apocalypse could ever happen! Like ever!

But it was.

And if you're wondering how the hell he figured it out, well... It all started less than twenty minutes ago perhaps, when he went out to his yard to water his lemons before going to school, like any other day. Chan immediately felt that something was off in the air and in the environment itself. And, then his elderly neighbor climbing the fence to bite him confirmed it even more. I mean, he wouldn't have complained if it had been her hot granddaughter instead, but back to the topic..

If you're also wondering why he didn't enter his house to take shelter, the answer is simple: he stayed locked outside. So his first instinct was to run outside, like any idiot would do, isn't?

But before focusing on the running thing and talk about his wrinkled uniform, let's delay a little, yeah?

09:25 AM.

Poor Lee Chan let out a deep sigh as he walked lazily through the halls of the school, feeling like his heavy backpack would break his spinal column at any moment. Today was tuesday. A very nice and sunny tuesday indeed, but as always, none of his days weren't meant to be good.

His eyelids and damp scalp were still itchy, but he tried not to scratch too much or he was afraid of getting irritated. And all thanks to those stupid senior boys who had no better plan than to have him as a punching bag whenever they wanted, and today was no exception since they saw the option of putting his head in a toilet that had chlorine water, as fun.

And the worst thing was that in the end he was the only one sitting in the director's office, receiving absurd lectures about things he clearly didn't do. But since the man in charge of the institute was the uncle of one of Chan's main bullies, he didn't pay absolute attention to Chan but to his innocent and responsible nephew, with the excuse that they were only boy's games and that he needed to get used to it. But who in their right mind would get used to receiving flying balls on the nose on purpose during gym class or shoving against lockers or even hard slaps behind the neck every morning, among horrible insults and petnames?

What's more, who in their right mind would call that a boy's game?

Chan tried to arrange his worn uniform as best he could and opened the door of the Principal's office, not even taking 3 steps inside that the voice of the man in charge stopped him.

"Ah ah, Mr. Lee, no one comes in before knocking on the door and receiving permission," the man indicated, making a mocking gesture with his fist. Chan looked at him with some hatred before bowing slowly and subtly turning around and closing the door behind him. Knocking three times on the door loudly. "Who is?"

Chan rolled his eyes. "Lee Chan, Mister," he responded under his breath, his patience still stable.

"Oh, come in, Lee Chan." The man exclaimed in a cheerful tone which he believed was completely false, but still he entered the room, closing the door again behind him and taking a seat in front of the desk, placing his backpack on the floor. "So, Lee, what other problem is there now?"

Chan looked at him strangely and pressed his lips into a grimace.

"Ah, sir, you summoned me," he said, obvious.

"Oh yeah right, well, the reason is that I have a proposal that may interest you." Mr. Kang said, looking at him like he was some kind of gangster.

Chan nodded slowly and somewhat suspiciously since this was something new. Principal Kang never offered him anything, even if it was something bad.

"So, what do you think of being the leader of the student committee?"

The boy raised his eyebrows in surprise and disbelief. "What? Me?"

"Yeah," the man nodded.

"Why?"

"Well, ignoring the part that you are a somewhat annoying student," Chan grimaced, as that was clearly a lie. "You have good grades and according to the teachers you maintain good behavior in class and activities. So, I would like you to be leader of the committee." Mr. Kang spoke, leaning over the desk.

"What do you say?" He asked.

"Well, unless it's a joke, I'd like that very much sir!" Chan exclaimed, smiling. "But, what happened to Yeonjun?" He questioned confused.

"The boy Yeonjun has suddenly changed of school, and since it's almost the end of the year, I can't afford to leave the committee without a present leader. So, you will be some kind of temporary leader until next year," He told him, with some tiredness. "You agree?" The man looked at him exasperated.

"Yes! Of course sir!" He nodded effusively.

"Very good then! You start your position tomorrow, so come to school early. Maybe an hour or two before the usual time," he said, already indicating him with his hand to leave.

Chan stood up and grabbed his backpack, feeling his cheeks hurt a little because of the huge smile he kept.

"Oh, and Chan.." Principal Kang stopped him just before he walked through the door.

"Yes?" The boy asked.

"Try to wear a more presentable and new uniform, you will be the head of the committee, not of some street gang." He told him, making a slight face, looking at his faded clothes.

Chan furrowed his eyebrows before nodding furtively.

"I sure will, sir, thank you!" He exclaimed before running out of there, smiling happily again.

He couldn't believe that finally the opportunity to be part of the committee, in fact, LEADER of the committee, had come to him. He had wanted to be one for several years, but strangely he had never been chosen no matter how high his grades were and instead, a boy from his same year, Choi Yeonjun, was chosen.

Chan was walking so happy through the hallways that he didn't pay attention to the mocking comments of his bullies, nor so much to the tremendous slap that one of them give him in the back of the head.

The boy left just in time when the bell rang indicated the end of the classes, causing scores of students to pile up the stairs to leave. As he made his way down the sidewalk, Chan visualized a group of three boys, one of them being the famous Kim Sunwoo, who seemed to be playing with what appeared to be a poor dead or almost dead animal, presumably a deer. He unconsciously formed a grimace of disgust, as these three fools laughed while poking the deer with sticks.

Suddenly, Sunwoo noticed Chan's displeased look, and quickly gave him a dirty look. "What the hell are you looking at, Lee? Go wait for your mommy somewhere else, worm," Sunwoo said in a mocking and rude manner, causing the silly laughter of his friends.

Chan just rolled his eyes slightly and just started his way home, trying to ease his bitterness by remembering that he would now be part of the committee. And looking forward to tomorrow...

Present.

Chan felt that at any moment his lungs would give away but surprisingly they didn't. Turning back, he saw how the bloodied ones were diverted and instead, they were going to attack another neighbor, who was just collecting his mail.

Hearing the poor guy's screams of horror and pain, Chan turned onto the last street. Which, ha!, had no way out. Great.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." He muttered agitatedly, looking back several times just in case.

Where the hell he was supposed to go right now? To the city? No, he didn't know if it was safe or not at this point. The countryside? Could be a possibility, but he didn't want to go alone.

He stood still for about two seconds before his mind clicked. Chan desperately seek through his pockets and let out a sigh of relief when he felt his phone in one of them. With trembling fingers he scrolled through the contact list and hesitantly pressed one of it.

1 ring...

2 ring...

3 ring...

"Hello?" A raspy and lazy voice was heard from the other line.

"HYUNG! Thank god! Where are you? You're ok? Nobody bite you, right? Tell me that you're safe right now..." Chan muttered at the speed of light.

"Chan, what the hell are you talking about? Why would someone bite me?"

"There's no time to explain, Jeonghan-ah! Whatever you do, don't leave your house and close the windows and doors with locks and cover them as much as possible," he indicated, starting to walk around.

"Woah, woah! Calm down kiddo. What's going on? Also, I can't do any of that since I'm not at home right now," Jeonghan muttered softly, not caring at all why Chan wanted him to do that.

"Huh?! Where are you then?!" The boy groaned against the phone.

"At the supermarket," he simply responded.

"Damn it... OK. Tell me which one. You have your car with you, isn't?" Chan's knees shook and almost best towards the floor due to nervousness, but he was able to straighten himself up.

"Obviously. Do you really think I would walk all the way from home to here? No way!" Jeonghan giggle, making Chan roll his eyes. "I'm on the Sansok one..." He finally told him after.

"Alright, don't move from there hyung! And don't interact with anyone, I'm on my way!" Chan said and without waiting for the older man to respond, he hung up and turned around, seeing where he could go.

The boy's head stuttered in various directions as he barely spotted a bicycle near the porche of one of the houses. Chan carefully reached out and took it, beginning to pedal clumsily, almost falling in the process.

Briefly thinking about how he was wearing his new uniform in vain today.

[•••]

The brunette sighed heavily as he put his phone back in his pocket.

"Who was it?" The other boy questioned, without looking at him, while continuing to examine the cereal boxes. 

"It was Channie. He sounded a little... weirded out," Jeonghan responded, dropping his weight onto the shopping cart.

"You asked him what was wrong? Maybe he had another nightmare again..." The guy finally turned to look at him as he was wearing a worried frown. "Or perhaps he smoked again that strange weed Soonyoung gave him."

"Oh, don't worry, Shua. It didn't seem like that... Well, actually, he didn't give me many convenient details. But I told him to come here if he was so worried," humming, Jeonghan walked to the ice cream section, closely followed by Joshua.

[shadedheart138]

I snatched a headcanon from @shitposting-puppet on the LU Discord server and went absolutely bonkers. It made more sense in my brain but then again it's like four am and I haven't written in a while. Hope you enjoy the little thing that grabbed me by the throat and shook me until I put exhausted fingers to work. I behold- The headcanon of Four having an oral fixation on putting metal in his mouth to chew on.

XXX

They noticed immediately that Four was a little different. Then again, they all were different. Whether it be gender, tics, mannerisms, you name it. Everyone was a bit different. Some more than most. Four was a little more noticeable than the others.

Four specifically had a habit with chewing metal, and anything at all metal that they could get their hands on.

Legend had gone off on them one time because she found dents in one of her rings after Four had got a hold of them. Four had also freaked Sky out when they were caught chewing on a small dagger. (It wasn't sharp, Four had tried to explain, but no one listened.)

Warriors had given Four an old key, after a while of this, and had tied it to a chord. "Just chew on this, instead of taking a dagger or a ring to your mouth? We've all got the little stims, the little actions that comfort. If you need to chew on metal, we want it to be safe, yeah?" Four had agreed, perfectly content with their new key. Before the night was over they'd already started working dents into the surface of it. It stayed around their neck always, when it wasn't in their mouth.

XXX

By the time they'd reached Four's Hyrule again, the key had been worn to bits. Harsh dents, and slightly sharp sides were not at all pleasing to be chewing on anymore. Four had been using the key less and less, and had gone back to stealing Legend's rings- he really had too many- and some of the metal spoons.

No matter how good it was to be home, Four wanted to get into the workshop. They could make themselves something better than a key! Something less dangerous and more appealing. After socializing with their grandpa for a good while, Four went off to the workshop, donning an apron when they got inside and pulling out the Four Sword.

They always got stuff done faster when there were four.

As always, Vio tried grabbing the nearest metal object- a drill bit- and before it could get to their mouth Red had put a firm metal sheet the size of their palm in Vio's hands. The sheet was already covered in teeth marks.

Green got to work as soon as he figured out what to do. He donned glasses- he was the only one who needed reading glasses- and started going through metal sheets.

Blue started going through molds right next to Green, while Red started firing up the furnace. Seemed like lots of work for such a small object.

The mold was eventually settled on, as was the metal. They all got to work on it, Vio doing a few engravings and Red braiding the chord it would rest on.

XXX

When it was done, and Four was merged again, they were quite impressed with themself.

It was a small, circular thing. A few texture bumps across the surface, and it was the size of Four's palm. It would keep them occupied for a while.

Four left the smithy satisfied, with his creation firmly between his teeth.

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

The way you write Deuce is just, *chef's kiss* i love it. it absolutely lives in my head rent-free.

So much so that i saw this tiktok of a pigeon sprinting with a leaf to gently put it on top of his mate sitting in her nest, and my first thought was, 'that's them. That's Deuce/MC. 💕💕'

Here's the video but i understand if you're hesistant to click on random links. I do hope you have a nice day btw ^ ^)

(https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8DbBeDw/)

AAAHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!

No but seriously Deuce 'his gaze softened' Spade is so loving and deserves so much love like I literally can't even explain.

First of all, that video is everything and it’s so Deuce coded I can’t even. Another animal couple I see would be this:

But, don't get me wrong, I would just like to go on the record and say that I've been watching a lot of dog videos and Deuce is 100% a dog: he's sweet, loyal, supportive, loving, protective - the complete package (though his eyes are much cuter). Just saying that he (and Jack) would be at the top of Crewel's list for approved boyfriends.

I mean as deranged as I am for him, I swear I can quit any time (I say as I stuff my shaking hands into my pockets and send multiple pictures of him flying out of my pocket)

He’s a perfect gentleman despite not being raised as one - and no I don’t mean in the literal sense, actual queen Mama Spade definitely raised her son to be chivalrous and kind and respectful to everyone. I mean he wasn’t raised to be a quintessential refined nobleman like Riddle or Malleus or Vil. He’s the only son of a single mother and as far as we know only his maternal grandmother is around (we don’t know if his father left or is dead but I subscribe to the headcanon that he was a jerk that left when Deuce’s mum was pregnant) so he’s never had an older male relative to look up to. Yet he still has all the traits that you’d see in Austen male leads - he's serious and straightforward, sort of soft spoken, he'll restrain his emotions, he's gentle (at most times), he canonically loves sappy romances, he’s got a strong moral compass and he has this sort of soft touch-starved vibe that I can't really explain.

But he's this sweet, considerate wholesome guy who gives it his all in everything despite his background and personality of an adrenaline-fuelled teenage boy. And he's very realistically (and very endearingly) a teenage boy: he's a troublemaker, he's rough around the edges, he makes mistakes even when his heart is in the right place, there are times where he can be slow on the uptake, he's aggressive, he thinks more with his fists and instincts and feelings than with his head, he's emotional and will lash out if he sees injustice, he's not afraid to use dirty tactics, he was literally in a gang, he's impulsive and reckless and literally itching for a fight. But he’s still as much of a man of honour as Mr Darcy or Captain Wentworth. And e's so loving and he's so sincere and he tries so hard I just-

(I want to kiss him on the mouth)

I just think it's really sweet that the same guy who could violently beat up like five guys bigger than him without a thought would instantly turn into a blushing puddle if you so much as held his hand and follow you around with a wide eyed awestruck look like a lost puppy or baby duckling.

I love to say that the reader is his salvation, his angel, his light and it comes from his inner shame at his past. Yes, he's bettering himself to atone for all the hurt his mother went through but he also really wants to prove to be someone worthy of being at your side. You're his apricity and he loves you more than anything.

He’s very sword and shield coded (though, I’d say he’s less of a shield and more of a sword - Jack seems to fit the shield motif more to me). He's very honour bound and duty driven and he gives me the vibes of those loyal knights you get in period stories.

And I guess that's what appeals to me. Bad boys are literally my least favourite trope in modern fiction and I get irked at practically every broody, angsty 'I hate the world' male love interest I come across (usually because the good boy second ml is so much better but my sister says that red flags are much more interesting than boring green flags so...). But Deuce, my man, my deuce box. He's a (former) bad boy that ticks all of the green flag boxes. He's not a bad boy with a hidden soft side, he's a soft boy with a (not-so-hidden) bad side.

He's not rude and snarky, he's kind and respectful. He doesn't have a problem with authority or hate his parents, one of his main character traits is his healthy love for his mother and he has a high opinion of his upperclassmen and the adults around him and he takes his studies seriously even when he's not good at them. He doesn't hide behind an arrogant facade, he's genuine and sincere to everyone he meets. Yes, he has an innate attraction for violence but instead of acting on it, he spends his time sating his love for adrenaline by speeding along on his magical wheel and joining the most athletic club in the school. He wouldn't tease you for your interests, you could spend hours babbling about your rock collection and he'd be completely rapt.

He's like the perfect dichotomy of the bad boy trope and the wholesome cinnamon roll good boy trope. Like one second he and you are engaged in the 'no you're cuter' or 'no you hang up' cycle on the phone and the next second your arms are wrapped around his torso and your wearing his leather jacket as he does the akira slide on his magical wheel.

Anyway I could go on for ages but instead have Deuce Vibes tumblr text post:

(Censored by moi)

P.S. I’ve been watching a lot of Ace edits and like 😳🥰 that boy ❤️ People make so many jokes about Malleus not getting invited to the meeting where the Disney executives explain twst is not an otome game but like Ace got the invitation and glanced at it for 0.345 seconds before ripping it into shreds, tossing the pieces into a blender, throwing the blender into a fire and then nuking the fireplace.

[eunchancorner]

After Pardoned Pals

I like to think this is what happened after the Pardoned Pals ending

Also yes Henry's bag is basically his own personal pocket dimension

-

“Welcome to my humble abode!” Henry greeted as he and Ellie walked through the door of his house. He knew it wasn’t much, but it was something, and it was all he had, so he hoped his new friend liked it.

“Alright, nice place,” she remarked, looking around. “More filled out than I expected, honestly. I envisioned you as a sorta ‘beanbag, TV and console are all I need’ kinda guy, so, an actual couch is pretty nice.”

“Yeah, what can I say? Sometimes couch naps are better than actual sleep,” he admitted, earning a chuckle from the redhead.

“Honestly, true. So, you’re unemployed, right? How’ve you been able to afford all this stuff?” she asked, peering into the kitchen. “You’ve got like… actually legitimate furniture and everything.”

“Well, it did help that my mom actually bought me the house, but mostly through collecting unemployment and pawning off the random crap I pull outta my bag,” he explained simply, watching as Ellie rolled her eyes with another quiet chuckle.

“Ah, yes, of course, the bag, how stupid of me to assume anything different,” she mumbled, her gaze still traveling around the small house. “So is there a second bedroom, or…?”

“I mean, there is, but it’s locked and empty. I have the key if you want it, though,” He pulled it out, and as she nodded, he tossed it to her. He led her to the door, letting her unlock it and open up the completely barren room.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding. Got anything in that bag of yours for me to sleep on? Like a… a big pillow or something? Anything?”

Henry hummed in thought as he slung it up to his front, unzipping it and reaching his whole arm in, digging around. “I might, let me see…”

“I am… never gonna get used to that,” Ellie murmured as she watched in mild horror as Henry almost went up to the shoulder, still digging.

“Jackpot!” he suddenly shouted, pulling a rolled-up air mattress out of his bag and rolling it out on the floor. “I have a pump in the garage, I’ll be right back!”

He quickly went out to his garage, grabbing an electric air pump, taking a moment to glance at the jetpack he kept stowed away out there. 

One day, one day I’ll use you again, he silently vowed before lugging the pump back inside and to the bedroom, where Ellie was seated on the flat air mattress. He set it down, motioning for her to get up as he got it hooked up and plugged in. He pressed a button on the side and the machine whirred to life, filling up the mattress, slowly but surely.

“Alright, should take about 5 minutes, last time I checked… Wanna grab something to eat while we wait? I’ve got plenty of food in the kitchen,” he asked, turning to her.

“Absolutely, I am starving. Please tell me you have spicy ramen, I have been craving it since the Wall,” she complained, leaning dramatically against the wall, earning a chuckle from Henry.

“Hell yeah, I have spicy ramen. I’ll go heat it up if you keep an eye on the air mattress?” he suggested, earning a thumbs up. He nodded and went into the kitchen, preparing their glorious meal of spicy ramen. As his own noodles finished soaking, he heard the pump turn off.

“Is it done?” he called to Ellie, grabbing a cup in each hand.

“Yeah! What about our ramen?” she called back.

“Yep! C’mon out to eat, then, if you’ve unhooked it!”

The redhead came out of the room, walking into the kitchen and taking her ramen from Henry with a quick ‘Thanks’, grabbing a fork and starting to eat with a grateful hum.

“Mm, I really needed this,” she mumbled around her mouthful, pulling a chair out from under his small table and sitting down. “God, even just cup ramen tastes better than that crap they feed you in prison.”

“Oh god, tell me about it,” he chuckled to himself, earning a glance from Ellie.

“You’ve been to prison? I mean, before the Wall, of course,” she asked, raising a brow.

“Oh, yeah, I tried to rob a bank and didn’t consider that maybe they had security inside, not just outside… Well, less of a bank, more of a reserve, if that makes sense.”

“Wait, which bank was it? I think I might have actually heard of you.”

“West Mesa, in Arizona.”

Her eyes widened and she smiled at the realization. “Oh my god, you’re the- the guy from the West Mesa Bustout! You’re a fucking legend, Henry!”

“I am?!”

“Yeah! So many people have heard about you! Your escape from West Mesa is like, the coolest fucking escape ever! Figures I escape with you, y’know. Us badasses, we gotta stick together.”

Henry laughed a bit at her, before taking a bite of his own ramen.

“Mm, so why were you in prison, anyway? I never got to know that about you,” he realized.

“Oh, several counts of premeditated murder and conspiracy to murder,” she replied calmly, though her response made Henry briefly choke on his ramen.

“What?!” he managed in his coughing fit, his eyes wide.

“What? I was a contract killer, and I got caught. I didn’t just kill people for fun… Okay, it was fun, but I was hired to kill all those people.”

“Right, right, that’s… slightly comforting, I guess,” he murmured to himself, still worried about having a literal professional killer in the house.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe as long as no one hires me to kill you. Hell, since this is your house, I probably wouldn’t take the job anyway!”

“I mean, since you were already caught as a contract killer, do you really think you should go back into that? I mean, they’ll probably be paying more attention to us now, and we only got one pardon. We might wanna lay low, at least for a little while. I’m pretty sure a little extra pawning will support us both until we get more legal jobs. Maybe I’ll find something really valuable in my bag. But, at least for a while, no more crime. Can we agree on that?”

Ellies sighed, rolling her eyes with a grumble, but after a few seconds of silence, she answered.

“Fine. No more crime. For now.”

“Good, good… So, wanna see a couple of massive jewels I stole?”