#[ the Texas-sized asteroid from Armageddon (1998) ]

[adamwatchesmovies]

Armageddon (1998)

I think even those who consider Armageddon to be entertaining agree it’s not particularly smart. Many will criticize the plot but I say that's not this film’s problem. In fact, it’s the best part of the movie. The flaws stem from the big climactic end, the romance and the comedic relief. 

There’s an asteroid the size of Texas heading towards Earth. NASA’s plan? Get the best deep drillers in the world to accompany a crew of astronauts onto the menace from space. Drill a deep hole, throw a nuclear device inside and split the rock in two. If timed correctly, the pieces will fly right past our beloved blue planet. But can a group of ragtag oil drillers really be trusted to hold the fate of the world in their hands?

Destruction for all is assured. Our only hope is to quickly train a group of unqualified civilians into astronauts. That's exciting. A regular Joe being given that much weight to bear? Who’s to say he (or even she) could stand the pressure and deliver when the clock is at one minute to midnight? Even if they are mentally ready, no one could truly be prepared for this mission, much less a civilian who, a week ago, had no bigger worries than their monthly bills. This creates a lot of room for drama, character development, and a lot of uncertainty. Sign me up!

When “Armageddon” deals with these issues, it works... for the most part. People fall in love and wonder if they’re saying goodbye for the last time, the men selected must confront their own mortality, families are torn apart or brought back together. Under Michael Bay’s direction, these simple building blocks keep you invested but boy is it cheesy. In fact, I’d say that it works more in concept than in execution because when I say this is cheesy, I mean that it is overly melodramatic, soap-opera cheese. You can instantly tell where each of the characters’ stories is going. 

You'd expect the asteroid stuff to be the most exciting part of Armageddon. You'd be wrong. As soon as our crew of wannabee astronauts leaves Earth, the movie becomes dull. At over two and a half hours, the movie's too long. The introduction of a villain once on the asteroid is plain unforgivable. It’s not enough for our heroes to struggle against unknown space elements, a tight deadline, enough stress to drive someone crazy; but the film actually introduces a jerk who is determined to undermine their entire mission, just so we can have a human villain to give the middle finger to. This character’s actions make no sense.

If the movie had been good or at least entertaining you could easily forgive the slew of nonsensical elements. Why is it that every single country on the planet is relying on the United States to deal with this problem? Why is NASA unable to keep a leash on the drillers who literally hold the key to saving the human race? How did that dog survive being hit with a meteorite?

Armageddon works - most of the time - during the beginning. The longer it treads along, the more tiresome it becomes. The lackluster climax atop the phony melodrama makes it an action blockbuster you can do without seeing. (On Dvd, November 14, 2014)