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this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

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For the love of god stop

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breakfast

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yearning for the day when people stop creating annoying low-effort gimmick blogs

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elf liberalism probably goes insane

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*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...

but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu

this has been a psa

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bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

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this is unedited. this is the original audio.

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GUYS OMG I JUST REALIZED SMTH

RUEL GETS FREE FOOD FROM ALIBERT AND THEY BOTH BASICALLY RAISE YUGO

TANG KEEPS STEALING FREE NOODLES AND HE AND PIGSY BASICALLY RAISE MK

BROOOOO

I haven’t watched Wakfu in five hundred centuries so I had to look up the names but this is so funny to me lmfao

I don’t know what this means but I swear, it totally means something.

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Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

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Sometimes I have unprompted thoughts like:

“I wonder if when we die, there’s a brief moment where our understanding shrinks to such an infinitesimal scale that it becomes clear in an instant how alike we are. Where we’re overcome with the understanding that our composition and our energies exist in uncontested harmony beyond our conscious mind, and that what divided us and all the grievances that plagued our minds didn’t have a lasting effect on the substances from which we were made. One moment where we finally understand that the carbon in our bones is just as pure and pristine as the day it came into existence.”

or

“HIP HOP HIP I PUT MY DICK IN THE SALSA DIP ON A TACO TUESDAY CAN I SPAFF ON YOUR BOOBLAYS SAY YES FREE TO SAY NO OLD MEAN AND FULL OF BEANS I GOT A YAMAHA KEYBOARD DRUM MACHINE METALLICA PATCH ON ME DUNGAREES HEY GIRL CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER PLEASE HANG MYSELF IN THE NEIGHBORS GARDEN WHEN HE COMES BACK THATS A NI-“

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The final stage of every OC's creation is having to go through websites like this to name it:

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obsessed with john waters parents, they were funnier than him!

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been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now