#[ tHE CONTRAST BETWEEN THE TWO STARTERS IS SO FUNNY TO ME HELP

[lunaetis]

▸▸ [ @minban ( scar ) || date thread starter ]

─「银月」─  she was going to regret this, wasn't she ? the fact that he probably should not be allowed to wander in public was something she was well aware of, yet ... the knowledge that he would also find a way to follow her whether she wanted it or not was also nagging at the back of her mind. would it be safer if he was somewhere she could actively keep an eye on ? it was an idea, at least. the MOONCHASE FESTIVAL was already wrapping up, too. it was already quite late at night ... so no one would be there. or so she hoped no one was there.

                " if you promise to behave — " the ROVER was already having second thought, but there was no turning back. keeping him on a leash did not go well, either, and that came from past experience alone. " — you can come with me. by behaving, i mean no violence. " she simply wanted to check on the wishing tree after everything was done.

[estellan0vella]

Scary Puppy Privileges Older Brother Sukuna AU HFBU

You walk into the mall with Sukuna and Yuji, feeling the usual stares from having your intimidatingly handsome boyfriend and his adorable little brother by your side. Sukuna, with his impressive muscles, his plethora of tattoos, and that smirk, always turns heads. 

Yuji, skipping along happily while holding your other hand, adds to the charm of your little group. His innocent excitement contrasts sharply with Sukuna's intense presence, giving you the best of both worlds: scary dog privileges with your boyfriend and golden retriever puppy privileges with his little brother.

Today is no different. As you make your way through the bustling mall, you notice the way people part to let Sukuna through. His aura demands respect and a hint of fear, but you know better. You see the softer side he shows only to you and Yuji, the playful grin that spreads across his face when Yuji does something adorable, and the tender way he looks at you when he thinks you're not watching.

Yuji tugs at your hand, his wide eyes sparkling with excitement. "Y/N/N, can we get ice cream? Please?"

You glance up at Sukuna, who gives a mock sigh of exasperation before nodding. "Yeah, yeah, let's get some ice cream. But only because Yuji asked so nicely."

Yuji cheers, and you laugh, squeezing Sukuna's hand. "You're such a softie, Kuna."

He rolls his eyes but there's a fondness there that he doesn't bother hiding. "Only for you two," he mutters, leading the way to the ice cream stand.

As you wait in line, you feel someone approach from behind. Turning slightly, you see a man with an overly confident grin sidling up to you. He clearly doesn't notice Sukuna standing next to you or doesn't care. You doubt the former as your boyfriend is impossible to miss so you assume it's the latter which makes you question his intelligence.

"Hey there, beautiful," the man says, his eyes lingering on you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. "How about you ditch the kid and come get a drink with me?"

Before you can respond, Yuji lets out a loud, indignant huff. "She's with Suku!" he declares, puffing out his chest. "And me!"

The man barely spares Yuji a glance, his attention still focused on you. "Come on, sweetheart, what's a guy like him got that I don't?"

You open your mouth to tell him off, but Sukuna beats you to it. He steps forward, looming over the man, and crosses his arms. "For starters, I can break every bone in your body without breaking a sweat," he says casually, his tone light but his eyes promising pain.

The man pales but tries to muster some bravado. "Hey, man, I was just trying to—"

"Trying to hit on my girlfriend while I'm standing right here?" Sukuna interrupts, his smile turning dangerous. "Bad move."

Just then, Yuji, who has been glaring at the man, decides to take matters into his own hands. With a growl that's more cute than intimidating, he lunges forward and bites the man's leg. Hard.

The man yelps and jumps back, shaking his leg to dislodge Yuji. "Ow! What the hell?"

You can't help it. You burst out laughing, the sight of little Yuji attacking a grown man too funny to resist. Sukuna joins in, his laughter a deep rumble that makes the man's eyes widen with fear.

"Good boy, Yuji," Sukuna says between laughs, ruffling his brother's hair as he looks at you. "Looks like you've got the scary puppy privileges too, huh?"

Yuji beams up at him, proud of his efforts. "Did I do good, Suku?"

"Very good," Sukuna assures him, glancing at you with a grin. "See, baby? Even Yuji knows how to handle idiots."

The man, thoroughly embarrassed and clearly regretting his life choices, mutters an apology and hurries away, limping slightly from Yuji's bite.

You shake your head, still chuckling. "That was amazing. Thanks, Yuji."

Yuji smiles up at you, his expression bright. "You're welcome, Y/N/N. No one's gonna bother you when Suku and I are around!"

Sukuna wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. "Damn right," he agrees, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Now, let's get that ice cream."

As you finally reach the counter and place your orders, Sukuna allows Yuji to go overboard and get whatever he wants as a reward for being 'feral' as Sukuna puts it.

You find a table and sit down, enjoying the cool treat as Yuji chatters away about his favourite ice cream flavours and Sukuna watches you with a soft, contented expression. It's hard to believe that the man who can make grown men quiver in fear is the same one who looks at you like you're his entire world.

"So," Sukuna says after a while, his tone teasing, "you think you can handle being with the two scariest guys in the mall?"

You laugh, nodding. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Yuji grins, his face smeared with chocolate ice cream. "Yeah! We're the best team ever!"

Sukuna chuckles, reaching out to wipe a smudge off Yuji's cheek. "That we are, kid. That we are."

Back at home, you tuck Yuji into bed, his sleepy eyes fluttering shut as you read him his favourite story. Sukuna stands in the doorway, watching with a soft expression. Once Yuji is asleep, you join Sukuna in the living room.

You curl up on the couch together, his arm around your shoulders as you talk about the day. "Today was... interesting," you say with a laugh.

Sukuna smirks. "Yeah, didn't expect the little guy to go all attack dog on that guy."

"He's got your protective streak," you tease, poking Sukuna's side.

"Guess so," he admits, pulling you closer. "Now, how about we watch a movie and relax? You've had enough excitement for one day."

You agree, settling into his embrace as he picks a movie. The rest of the night is spent in comfortable silence, the warmth of his body against yours a constant reminder of the love and protection he offers.

As you drift off to sleep in Sukuna's arms, you know that no matter what challenges come your way, you'll face them together. Because with Sukuna and Yuji by your side, you're unstoppable. And that's all you'll ever need.

[redrage71890]

Stray kids pokemon AU? Thank you!

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U Got it Anon!

I've actually been working on my Stray Kids Pokémon AU for a while since I couldn't decide on many choices and with the release of Pokémon Scarlet and Violet its made my decision more questionable.

Not to mention with me only finding out that Chan really wants a shiny Charizard in Pokémon Go, and I don't wanna be biased with Pokémon's favourite child.

So, apologies Chan, you won't be getting a Charizard from my take.

But an additional feature is that every member has an Eevee on their team, though like before I will explain the Ace and occupation of the boys as they aren't idols unless listed.

And the boys will still have some unevolved Pokémon's for being a Gen 4 group, so like picture them evolving as more time passes.

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Bangchan

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Actor (might change this)

Blastoise (Water) Base - 530

Yeah unfortunately no Charizard for our boy (you'll get your Shiny Charizard one day Chan). I wanted to choose a Kanto Starter for my nostalgia purposes and I see Chan having an older generation Pokémon.

I remember hearing that if Chan weren't an Idol, he'd be an Actor. But I might change this as I'm not 100% sure on it. Though him having a Squritle at a young age I think looks cute, his sister Hannah could have a Bulbasaur to counter him.

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Lee Know

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Dancer

Torracat (Fire) Base - 420

Mk so, I wanted a cat Pokémon for Lee Know for like some obvious purposes. I think Fire Types are good for him with something like 'fiery passion' for him. I forgot...(┬┬﹏┬┬)

His dream job is being a dancer, so I guess you can picture Minho dancing with a Torracat and Eevee.

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Changbin

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Composer

Mimikyu (Ghost/Fairy) Base - 476

Changbin gets a favourite among Pokémon fans. Its a balance between dark and cute, he likes dark things and he calls himself cute (which we agree on). I like the portrayal of it in the anime but the lore of it is sad (like every Ghost Type).

We already know the beats this guy and the other 3RACHA members shootout. And he mentioned he'd still be one if not an Idol, though also mentioned a Tattooist.

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Hyunjin

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Interior Designer

Frosmoth (Ice/Bug) Base - 475

Listen, Frosmoth is ADORABLE! I love the design for it and Snom is cute as hell. Hyunjin I see having lots of Ice Types with their elegant, gorgeous, cute and fierce designs.

He said being an Interior Designer would be fun, so here it is. His art is amazing that goes without saying. I think he'd be an excellent designer or even him drawing Pokémon with his Frosmoth and team.

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Han

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Composer

*Low-key* Toxtricity (Electric/Poison) Base - 502

I see Han using Electric Types. Toxtricity is just so cool to me and why not give it to Han. The energy these two could have is really funny to me to like contrast each other, with Toxtricity's chill appearance and probably some kind of hyper quokka.

Han said he'd still be a singer if not an Idol but if that didn't work out, he'd be a Composer. Same thing with Changbin, he puts out such bangers with 3RACHA.

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Felix

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Song-Writer

*Alolan* Raichu (Electric/Psychic) Base - 485

THIS. IS. PERFECT!!! RAICHU ALOLAN OR NOT IS PERFECT FOR FELIX! Its so cute and the surfing design it has is adorable, not to mention imagining Felix baking with his Raichu! *Incoherent screaming in cuteness*

Felix said he'd be a Song-Writer if not an Idol. I think its cute to picture his Raichu trying to help him with writing and would always encourage Felix to take a break with it and Eevee.

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Seungmin

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Photographer

Torterra (Grass/Ground) Base - 525

I see Seungmin not using a specific type (though mainly bc I can't think of one) so I decided on giving him a Torterra. Reason is bc of its intimidating design, so I see Seungmin using it to absolutely roast others with a turtle walking with a tree on its back.

Again with the I heard it from somewhere that he'd be a photographer or a baseball player (or something pls correct me). But like him photographing Pokémon, landscapes and portraits are very cute to think about for me. And I'm just picturing Seungmin absolutely destroying anyone with his Torterra whenever he feels like it.

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I.N

Occupation: Pokémon Trainer, Student Teacher

Togetic (Fairy/Flying) Base - 405

THIS IS SOOOO CUTE!! You give the Maknae a baby gift Pokémon, and its a Fairy Type. Just to say I gave I.N a very cute yet powerful Pokémon once you realize that both Cynthia and Volo use one on their teams.

Again I remember hearing that I.N would be some kind of teacher if not an Idol. Though thinking about him and kids is just downright adorable especially with a Togetic and Eevee.

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[fortyconsoles2023]

It Takes Two

The vast majority of games are intended to be played by a single player, with co-op being added as an extra element to the overall experience on occasion. However, the gaming titles by Josef Fares and Hazelight Studios have made co-op mandatory, which allows for notable gameplay that truly takes advantage of the entire coop design. The studio's first collaborative effort on shared screens, which was released in 2018, "A Way Out," used some innovative things with the philosophy, but it turned out to be a little harsh around the edges. Hazelight's newest play, It Takes Two, develops exactly what ran in A Way Out, polishes the entire experience to near perfection, and supplies everything. It will be remembered as one of the most enjoyable co-op games ever created.

This action sequence in It Takes Two is split into two segments, vertically, in this situation. The emotional reward is evident when you press the triangle control key. When players try to solve difficult problems, their strategies leave a lasting impression. Plus, it brought me to tears. Numerous times.

Romantic comedies will be atrocious. They're full of sappy, unearned emotions with laughs dribbled in to ensure that the characters possess at least a little redeemability. "The Prince and Me," a "romantic comedy," is among my considerable list of hated films in history. When I was in high school, it was considered one of the Friday night movies, in which the two leads face a slew of complications in the hopes of falling in love with the other characters, only to be thrown out by a nonsense dilemma, then actually fall in love. The humor was a bit painful and groan-inducing. It Takes Two is truthfully an enchanting comedy that can remain human despite the two leads, who spend the majority of their time as dolls. There are funny moments that come to feel earned, budding romance drama, and genuine emotion in the script. Strange moments of dark comedy that helped me feel uncomfortable would be punctuated by absurd situations, which would trigger laughter. Anger or frustration over an individual's shortcomings could be replaced by compassion once they have delved deeper into their valuable sentimental center.

Though it may be advertised as a game with a story of comedy and romance, It Takes Two is truly something a whole lot more. Its core focus is on the household and repairing anything that has broken. The moment you watch the pieces that were broken come back together is an amazing experience.

When it comes to telling stories, It Takes Two displays one of the best plots, and the actors are generally superb as well. It's a great way to get to know everyone else in the film through the silly dialogue and cinematic elements. However, I was disappointed that I found May and Cody to be annoying in some situations. For starters, they're not the best parents, and they argue about every possible possibility, which periodically irritates me. They also tend to make laughs and jabs that may be cringy and apparent. In contrast, Rose is a whole lot more intelligent and in tune than her parents, which is a pretty funny and simple aspect of the entire narrative. The best place to buy cheap Xbox Series X shooting games. It Takes Two is always awe-inspiring because it uses each physics in a variety of ways until almost no idea is used more than a handful of times. Finding out how the game is constantly developing by utilizing its various elements on their own or as an entire team is extremely enjoyable and an amazing achievement in in-game artwork. Also, the world is constantly changing around you. as you are two dolls. There's a very "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" meets "Toy Story" vibe to exactly how the video game represents Alfresco. It Takes Two excels at making even the most mundane things interesting. Rose abandons the pair of dolls hidden away, so first you'll need to get back to her at home. Between them lie a myriad of risks, including the irate old vacuum cleaner that is equally annoyed at Cody because it's sucking out debris that it shouldn't be and at May for not repairing it sooner.

Later on, you'll return home, and your attention will shift. You'll be back with your daughter, but you're still dolls, and your focus alternates between Rose and the two. Thus, the anthropomorphic and oddly erotic book-shaped love doctor guide is an increasingly prominent part of the overall game, taking you through different sessions to assist in fixing Cody and her marriage. To reflect that deeper shift, the game moves to regions that are more imaginative and focused on their particular relationships, such as the inside of a snow globe or the constantly changing insides of cuckoo clocks. It Takes Two is a one-of-a-kind experience. There is a delight and a whimsy to the whole game, and a variety of gameplay that will always keep users entertained from the beginning to the end. The world is stunningly detailed and attractive, and the coherence between the story and gameplay is truly spectacular. This is the type of recreation that proves there is still a lot of room for creativity in the world of games.

[carlosfruitsnacks]

"if you're too shy let me know" - part 2

PART 1 || PART 3

summary:

— Carlos tries to fix the reasons why you find him terrifying. It wasn't an easy process but if it means making you less scared of him, he's willing to do it. You hear the news of how Carlos is behaving unusually, you wanted to know why the sudden change. But it turns out that Carlos becomes too shy to let you know how he feels about you.

genre:

— fluff

notes:

— female reader. I do not speak fluent Spanish and all of the Spanish here is translated from google, feel free to correct me if I got something wrong though I will refrain from using too much Spanish.

warning/s:

— none

a/n:

— alright folks part 2! i'm planning to make this into three parts, it will take a long time for me to publish the last part so pls bear with me. enjoy!

"Please don't touch me!"

Those last words you said to him kept replaying all over again in his head. Carlos has been stressed for days, finding out why you were so petrified of him and how he could fix the situation. Each time he gets too worked up and on the brink of giving up, the vision of your teary eyes looking at him always kept him on track. The Madrigal was determined to change whatever fuckery he has done.

The beginning of his plan was tricky; finding out why you were so afraid of him. Carlos couldn't hate himself more for mistaking it for shyness. The previous days, he decided to lie low. He hasn't seen your face for days too, it brought an ache to his heart. You're probably too horrified to go outside now because of him. Luckily, lying low was a great decision because, after some time, you did eventually go outside again. Carlos couldn't stand that you were out of his reach again.

He watched you interacting with the townsfolk. You were so polite to them. You sent people smiles and greetings whenever you would come around. Carlos barely acknowledged the people in Encanto. One day, he found you were helping an old woman carry her things to her house, it struck him oddly. You didn't even know the woman yet you helped her, he couldn't recall the last time he even helped someone in town. Carlos noticed you were hanging out with a bunch of children alongside Mirabel. You two looked like you were enjoying entertaining the children, not once did he see one of the kids frowning at your presence. This made Carlos scratch his head, he couldn't bear standing near the children, or else he'll just end up intentionally scaring them away.

For weeks, Carlos compared what he has observed so far. He made a contrast between what you and he would usually do in town. You greeted the townsfolk nicely, he hardly spared them a glance. You would help one of the townsfolk, he only caused trouble for them. And you're patient around children, he liked scaring the shit out of them. It took a while until Carlos went 'oh'.

It probably doesn't take a genius to find out why you're so intimidated by him. To put it simply, he treated the townsfolk like shit, and this causes the people to paint him as le diablo de pueblo. Of course, his bad reputation goes spreading all over town like wildfire and influences what you think of him.

Now Carlos found the root of it all, how will he fix it? For starters, he should change the things you found him scary for. The shapeshifter stood in front of his mirror, he wondered what in his appearance made him look terrifying. When he couldn't find anything intimidating about his looks, he went out in town and literally snarled when someone gave him a funny look. Carlos returns to his room and looked at himself in the mirror again, he pointed a finger at his reflection.

"What is wrong with you, pendejo?"

He said as he glared at himself. Carlos didn't mean to send that random villager a dirty look, call it a force of habit. Shit, he imagined if he accidentally did that to you, it would be game over. Carlos lets out a frustrated groan and collapsed on his bed. His bedroom door comes swinging open, he turns to see his twin giving him a confused look. He forgot that he shared a room with Camilo, the boy's always out of town helping and keeping the people entertained unlike him. For the first time in years, Carlos decided he wanted to have an honest talk with his twin.

"Ey, cabrón. I need to talk to you"

Carlos slightly winced at his own words, dios, he too treated his own twin brother like shit. Camilo looked at him with bewilderment before hesitantly sitting on his bed across from him. Carlos felt lucky that Camilo never treated him the way he would treat him, if only he knew how to be like him then he wouldn't be stressing out right now.

"What's up?"

"How do you...uh, how do you not treat people like shit?"

Camilo snorts at his twin. Carlos couldn't prevent face-palming himself, why the hell was he so weird? Fortunately, Camilo sees this as a genuine question from him. So, he stands and takes a seat right beside him.

"Just treat them with kindness, you know"

"How, genius?"

"Treat them how you would like to be treated"

This made Carlos think for a moment. Treat others in a way he wanted to be treated back? Witchcraft! Since when did the townsfolk ever do something nice to him?!

"Of course, you gotta treat them nice first and don't expect for them to do the first move"

It seemed as though Camilo can read his thoughts. Carlos bites back a snarl, realizing how his twin is making so much sense is making him feel uncomfortable. The shapeshifter huffs and crossed his arms, Camilo scoffed at this. Camilo didn't know why Carlos was suddenly asking these kinds of questions but he assumed he needed help with something. So, like the good hermano that he is, he decided to help him.

"I can show you if you'd like"

Carlos looks at his twin hesitantly, he figured that he doesn't have any other option. Therefore, he nodded.

Camilo takes Carlos around town. He wanted to demonstrate a kind act that literally anyone can do; helping someone in need. Finally, he spots a middle-aged woman struggling to carry her items on her own. Camilo tugs his twin's ruana and he pointed at the woman with his lips.

"¿Qué?”

"Try helping that woman over there"

"How?"

"Offer to carry one of her items!"

With that, Camilo pushes Carlos out in the open and towards the middle-aged woman. Carlos was nervous about doing this but then he's reminded that he's doing all of this for you. So, he sucked in a huge breath and approached the woman

"Ey, do you-"

"¡Ah! ¡Es el diabo!"

"¡No! Por favor-"

Carlos groaned and clenched his fist, biting off a curse as he watched the woman sprinting away in fear. He felt Camilo's hand on his shoulder and sent him a sympathetic smile. To be fair, nobody told him this would be easy. After all, people deemed him as the devil in this village. 

"How about we try one more time, yeah?"

The shapeshifter glared at Camilo, but the latter was immune to his stare by now so he drags Carlos to another location hoping to find random townsfolk in need of help. Carlos exhales through his nose.

The things I do for love

For the past several weeks, Carlos has been the talk of the town however for different reasons. The conversation began when one of the townsfolk spotted Carlos helping an old man tune his guitar, the old man thanked the Madrigal profusely with no fear. It was incredibly peculiar, people gossiped that he was only doing it because he needed something from the old man. However, the townsfolk started thinking twice when a group of people found Carlos helping a bunch of kids get their ball that got stuck up in the tree. Carlos was noticed by the children shapeshifting into Luisa Madrigal and successfully retrieving their ball. It gave the town a good shock when Carlos even decided to play fútbol with the children.

Of course, some people were in doubt. They would say that it was only Camilo who shapeshifted as his twin brother, yet it was quickly debunked when the townsfolk literally saw both Camilo and Carlos helping a random man paint his house. People kept speculating why Carlos was suddenly being helpful, the majority were still wary of him because of his reputation. Others offered to talk about Carlos in a new light. The heated topic of Carlos Madrigal's sudden change of attitude made its way to your ears.

At first, you laughed. Until you saw Carlos hanging out with your cousin, the same cousin who was also petrified of him, well, not anymore considering they're currently laughing and joking around like best buddies. You watched from afar as Carlos says something inaudible to your cousin and makes the entire group laugh. You were blinking profusely and pinching yourself, wondering if this is all just a fever dream.

You went out to buy vegetables again from the market. For days, you saw Carlos everywhere. He was helping the townsfolk left and right, even playing with the children if he had spare time. You could've mistaken him for Camilo if it wasn't for his maroon ruana and signature smirk. Although the shapeshifter still pranked some of the locals it has become harmless, just minor pranks that could make anyone laugh. You guessed it was his sense of humor.

"Here you go, [Name]. Oye, have you heard about Carlos Madrigal?"

"Sí, I have señor. It's really...weird"

"I'll say, I saw the chíco helping a few of the vendors around here, I couldn't believe my eyes but oh well at least he stopped causing havoc"

You and the vegetable vendor exchanged. You take your requested vegetables and paid him. You took a small stroll around town, secretly hoping to spot Carlos because it seemed like you wanted to see one last proof of him truly changing before believing it all.

To your surprise, you do find Carlos helping another local, he was cradling a woman's baby and letting the tired woman catch a break. You watch in awe as Carlos gently cradled the baby, stopping it from crying. You wanted to believe that it was just Camilo since he's really good with babysitting, to your astonishment, Camilo comes walking by and giving his twin brother a thumbs up. Shit, so all of this was real. But why? You can't help but want to know.

You could ask Carlos personally but you were still scared of him. You started thinking of ideas. You were deep in thought while walking around, unbeknownst to you, your foot trips on a pebble. You gasped and waited for your face to crash to the ground until someone grabs you, preventing you from falling. You were about to thank that person but you noticed it was Carlos, you freeze on the spot.

"¿Estás bien?"

Carlos asked with concern. You grow speechless, you were slightly frightened but with the soft look on the shapeshifter's features, it slowly melts away.

"Estoy bien, gracias"

"Better watch what you're walking on, princesa"

Carlos says with a playful smirk, this makes your heart skip a beat. Hold up, that was uncalled for! And why do your cheeks feel warm?! You pout. Carlos was about to walk away but you stop him.

"Why...why are you suddenly being so...nice?"

The shapeshifter looks at you nervously. Honestly, he knew the answer to your question but he was too unprepared to tell you, afraid that he'll reveal his feelings for you.

"It's because..."

You watched Carlos as he runs a hand through his curly hair, you can see the sweat forming on his face. The drastic transition of the big and bad Carlos into this calm and helpful Carlos was so interesting that you had to know why he did it.

"Well...?"

"It's...complicated"

You narrowed your eyes at him, you didn't believe him. His reasons must be something big, you must know! You lean close to him, a bit surprised that you're no longer uncomfortable under his presence. Carlos gulps as he looked at you with unblinking eyes.

"What do you mean it's complicated?"

"I-it's something yo-you shouldn't know"

That only made you want to know more. Carlos Madrigal was hiding something and you can smell it. You raised a brow towards his way, the shapeshifter's face turns in all shades of pink. Hilariously, the tables were turned, no longer did he corner you but instead it was you who cornered him. He felt like he was about to pass out at any second now because of how close you were to him.

"You're hiding something, Carlos"

"No, I'm no-not"

You've never seen the shapeshifter so flustered that it was almost entertaining. Did the oh-so-scary Carlos Madrigal grow soft? You couldn't hold back a chuckle and a smile. But as you were about to further interrogate him, Carlos couldn't hold back anymore and accidentally shapeshifts into you. Both of your eyes went wide at the unusual scene.

Fuck! She'll know!

Eventually, Carlos breaks into a sprint leaving you screaming for his name. Camilo, unknown to Carlos, who saw the entire thing, stops him midway in his tracks.

"Hey hey, calm down dude, what's wrong?"

Camilo asks. Carlos was panting, his heart was banging inside his ribcage so loud that he can hear it in his ears. He really had no words on how to explain everything.

"Why did you turn as [Name]?"

Carlos gasps and immediately changed back to himself but it was too late, Camilo whistles and sends him a teasing grin.

"Ay, I saw everything, hermano. So, you're doing all of this for her?"

"Shut up!"

Camilo cackled at his twin who instantly glared daggers at him with pink cheeks. Carlos' crush on you was supposed to be a secret and now that Camilo knows, he's doomed.

"Why didn't you tell her that you were doing this all for her? [Name] sounded like she wanted to know"

"I...I wasn't ready, dumbass!"

"Or maybe you're just...shy"

In an instant, Carlos grabs his twin brother by the collar of his shirt and raised his fist. Camilo chokes on his spit, startled.

"¡Oye! ¡Cálmate, hemano!"

Carlos sighs and lets go of Camilo. He crosses his arms, as much as he agrees with his brother, he wouldn't admit that he was right. That he was too shy to let you know that he was doing all of this for you. The shapeshifter groans out of stress and buried his face with his hands. Camilo rolled his eyes playfully and gently smacked his brother's back.

"Hey don't worry, your secret is safe with me, Carlos"

"Mierda, what am I going to do now?"

"Just tell her how you feel, dude"

"But I'm too..."

"Shy?"

"Cállate, cabrón"

Camilo laughs at Carlos, the latter scowled at him but a small smile breaks on his face. Not to be sentimental, he was lucky he had a twin brother like Camilo. Sooner, the twins went home for lunch then all of a sudden, an idea formed in Carlos' head. He swiftly grabs Camilo's shoulder.

"I have an idea but...I need your help"

"Sure, but you owe me all of your seconds"

"You bastard....fine"

taglist: @nothearts4yu @vanevafu @irisia-ckzkb1109

masterlist

[miiracleboys]

shirabu or kogane for the character bingo :0000

hi sou i'm so sorry this took 10000 years to answer

shirabu

i touched on my thoughts about him here!

checked off:

wasted potential: shirabu doesn't have an exceptionally substantial backstory, but it's more than we get from other characters and he definitely stands out from the rest of the cast with the little details, like how he came to shiratorizawa for ushijima the same way that akaashi came to fukuroudani because of bokuto, or how he doesn't attend on a sports scholarship, or how his grades and diligence could have landed him in a much more academically rigorous school but chose shiratorizawa. but then we barely see him outside of the match against karasuno and, briefly, during the ball boy arc, and those details aren't mentioned again! i understand that, pacing-wise, it probably wouldn't have worked and that this is the case for many haikyuu characters, but there are Tons of questions that those details bring up.

if they were real i would be afraid of them: i would not be able to handle the force of his disapproval. i would simply shrivel up and die. props to goshiki for being able to withstand it.

they're deeper than they seem: ououghgough me when literary devices. i know i've said this about other characters but the setters are all so cool because of how they contrast and draw parallels to one another. shirabu vs semi and shirabu vs kageyama are especially interesting, but his relationship with ushijima is cool too, because he adapts. he's a little bit of a pain in the ass when he wants to be, but it's so neat to me that he has a middle ground between "supporting the ace" and "demanding the ace's 110%", and he can effortlessly combine the two rather than switching between them. this fluidity is partially what got him a spot as a starter but his relationship with goshiki and ushijima's advice about it also draws attention to how he can be rooted in his own views and how that can trip him up.

they got done DIRTY by fans: fanon!shirabu is either invisible or a tsundere and it makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

didn't get enough screen time: i would pay furudate real money to see shiratorizawa under his captaincy or him hanging out with the team, pre- and post-timeskip.

i don't really have much to say about them: i like him and i think he's interesting, but i don't talk about him as much. i simply think he's neat.

why do they look like that: i will forever think his hair is stupid. sorry fhjdsnfd

they work better as a part of a dynamic: i might've said this before but as a part of a team and especially as a setter, his relationships are a big chunk of what makes him fascinating to me.

koganegawa under the cut! this got much longer than i expected.

koganegawa

checked off:

they are soooooo cool looking: not necessarily cool but his >:3 face makes me want to put him in my pocket. cannot honestly say the same about his hair though.

they're deeper than they seem: he's a sweetheart and sometimes he doesn't always have a ton of common sense but his passion, drive, and willingness to learn radiates from him and makes him similar to hinata and goshiki. plus all this and his unfailing friendliness and earnestness helps him get along with any team and make friends (and rivals, and friendly rivals), which, in turn, makes it much easier for him to learn and grow. it's absolutely no surprise that he went pro.

didn't get enough screen time: i would never turn down an opportunity to See Him but i'd love to see his growth through his time at datekou and his time on the sendai frogs. emphasis on the latter, even if only because i think it'd be funny. also, i'd like to have seen the karasuno vs datekou match and the ensuing nationals matches where they landed TOP EIGHT IN THE NATION because i think about that a lot.

i want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog: for comfort. he gives off the energy of a golden retriever and i love him very much.

i'm mentally ill about them: GROWTH. both in terms of DISCIPLINE and SKILL. and he has so many FRIENDS. i'm literally so proud of him.

they've never done anything wrong in their life: being tough for futakuchi to wrangle is a good thing. it keeps him on his toes!

[yutahoes]

No Strings Attached

characters : Yuta Nakamoto, Reader, Jung Jaehyun, Taeyong is also mentioned

genre : smut

warning : Smut (Teasing, Breast Fondling, Light Bondage, Spanking, Rough Sex), Cheating, Alcohol

summary : It’s just one night. No strings attached. What could go wrong? 

word count : 3.5k 

tag list : @ailoveyuta​ @yutazen01​ @aiforyuu​

a/n:  This is for plot purpose only but I don’t condone nor encourage cheating. I don’t know where this came from. Please forgive me for I have sinned. 🙏 And since I’m not satisfied with how this ended, I might post a second part. Should I? Please let me know. 

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"Baby girl, what are you doing here?" Yuta asked that made you roll your eyes at him. Of all the bars in Seoul, why do you have to meet him here? And now? Really? "Does your boyfriend know you're here?" Funny he would say that.

Yuta is a common friend of both your boyfriend and your brother so eventually, you just hang out with him often. He's the perfect embodiment of a resident fuckboy. Evident was the way he winked at one of the girls dancing on the dance floor. You shook your head as the bartender left the glass of the Long Island Iced Tea you ordered.

"Pretty hard drink. Is Jaehyun picking you up?"

"You don't need to concern yourself with me. Go, Yuta. Have fun with your girlies." You waved a hand to shoo him away but he just chuckled.

Instead, he ordered a whiskey from the bartender. "Do you have problems, princess?" That nickname. He would always tease you that since you're pretty spoiled with your brother and your boyfriend. But among all the boys in your life, Yuta is the only one who calls you that. Honestly, you wanted Jaehyun to call you the same.

"I'm bored." You confessed. He cocked an eyebrow at you and you continued, "Jaehyun is so romantic but that's all he is." You don't know why you're telling him this but Yuta is like an extension of your brother and you knew he wouldn't judge you, the same way as how you wouldn't talk about the girls he gave tongue in the girls' restroom during college years. "He's great in bed and all but…"

"Wait, hold up." He reacted quickly. "You and Jaehyun are fucking?" You nodded surprised that he wouldn't think of that. He knew that you sometimes spend nights at Jaehyun's place. Does he think you only play rock paper scissors in his place? "I thought you're pretty innocent."

You had to laugh at that. You're way different from that. "Do you think Jae would tell TY the things we do?" He chuckled then nodded. Taeyong, your brother, is actually the innocent one. "If we do much." You mumbled under your breath which he caught. "I wish Jaehyun isn't too vanilla."

Yuta lightly coughed. "You don't like him being vanilla?" You shook your head. "God, baby girl, I'm seeing you in a new light." A frustrated sigh escaped his lips and he obviously is checking you out.

You bit your lip. There must be a reason why girls can't get enough of this playboy. And damn, you wanted to hear that pet name repeatedly while he thrust into you. You shook your head. Yuta Nakamoto? You can't.

"Have you talked to Jaehyun about this?" You badly want to tell him something but you also don't want to hit his ego hard. You know how sensitive Jaehyun is. He might take this the wrong way. "Obviously, you haven't."

"Jaehyun is a great guy, Yuta. I just don't like that he treats me like a fragile object." You shared, alcohol taking its toll on you. "I want him to be rough on me. I want him to spank me." By now, you don't even know what you're saying but you're so frustrated that you decided to let everything go. "I just want someone to fuck me dumb…"

Yuta's lips were on you before you could finish your sentence. And when you moaned at his roughness, his tongue entered your mouth. He tasted like whiskey, and cigarettes, and a pungent taste that you cannot pinpoint. A taste different from Jaehyun. You pushed him before he could touch your waist, panting at how steamy that kiss was. "What the hell, Yuta?"

He smirked, wiping his lip with his thumb and you notice the color of your lipstick on his. "You said so yourself, you just want someone to fuck you dumb." His thumb came in contact with your bottom lip. "You're just curious so let me give you that experience."

You gulped at how intimidating he is. "But Jaehyun…"

"It's not cheating if he doesn't find out." His fingers moved to your cheek then tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Just one rough sex, baby girl. No strings attached."

This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. For starters, it was you who said yes. So why are you getting scared now? Truthfully, you have been curious about Yuta's sexual status. Even your friends would often share that he's such a sex God so it's a mystery for you on what kind of man Yuta is in bed.

But you're dating Jaehyun. It isn't right that you had sex with someone, moreover Jaehyun's friend, when you're in a rough patch like this.

Yuta's hands held your waist, facing you to him. There were only the two of you in the elevator heading to his penthouse. "What are you thinking, baby girl?" And you wanted to melt at that. His lips hover above yours, whispering "Tell me what you want."

"I want you to fuck me, Yuta."

You were pushed on the wall of the elevator. He pulled both your arms up, holding both with one hand as his lips roughly took yours. His other hand pushed your waist that you felt your back on the elevator wall. He raised one of his legs, touching your core that made you moan.

This is wrong.

First, this is cheating. You have a boyfriend, for crying out loud. If Jaehyun finds out about it, not only will your relationship end. His and Yuta's. Probably yours and Yuta's as well.

Second, someone can see the two of you. But it only turned you on much more. The thought that someone watching the two of you behind the security camera made you so wet that you started begging Yuta when he let go of the kiss.

He stared at you, cursing, and you were blinded at how hot that sounded that you held on his shoulder. "Two floors left, baby girl." He claimed glancing at the led showing the floor numbers. "Then I'll have my way on you."

You've known Yuta for so long but this is the first time that you're alone in his penthouse. Usually, you would come here with either Taeyong or Jaehyun so a weird yet familiar feeling bubbled in the pit of your stomach. "Sit down." He ordered in a commanding tone making you gulp. You quickly sat on his couch, following his every move.

He removed his watch, placing it above the coffee table as he knelt in front of you. "Y/N." And you suddenly realized that he never called you by your name, it's always 'princess' or 'baby girl'. Why does your name sound so hot rolling on his tongue like that? He held both your lap and the spot blazed in warmness. "Do you really want to do this?"

You nodded. "Words, baby. I want you to communicate with me."

"Yes, Yuta. I want to do this."

His tongue trailed his bottom lip as your gaze followed it, wanting that tongue somewhere in your body. Just somewhere moist would be nice. "You want it rough?" Once again, you had to nod but he reminded you of using your words. "Spanking?" You gulped. You badly wanted to but you've never tried it before. Will you get hurt? "Safe word." He asked while standing up in front of you, towering above you.

Your eyes widened at that. He's progressing fast. And a safe word? You might really get hurt. "Yuta, I don't think we need…"

"Trust me, princess, you do."

You watched as he unbuckled his belt, removing it from his pants in just one swift motion. Will he hit you with that? You should really think this through. "Vanilla!" You blurted out suddenly, closing your eyes.

His fingers were on your chin, urging you to look at him. "That's cute, sweetheart." A new nickname. "Now take off your clothes." He watched you with lust-filled eyes as you remove your sweater and the thin camisole underneath to reveal your midnight blue brassiere.

"God, Jaehyun is one lucky bastard." His tongue darted out once again as he wrapped his belt on his hand. "Take this off, baby."

Your hands were shaking as you removed the only cloth covering your breasts. In your defense, this was the first time that you're naked in front of another guy other than your boyfriend. Yuta's gaze isn't helping as well. Is he turned on? Does he like what he's seeing? His other hand, the left one without the belt wrapped on it, was held in front of you so you gave him the brassiere which he threw somewhere across the room.

"Why are you so nervous?" He sat beside you as you breathed heavily. Why are you so nervous? It's not like it is your first time having sex. You control Jaehyun whenever you're together so why are you such a submissive for Yuta? Is it the air of dominance that he exudes? Or because you really yearned to be submissive for once? "I won't hurt you." He assured as his lips went yours, sucking your tongue. He licked your bottom lip when he pulled out, "You remember the safe word, right?"

"Yes." You breathed. It was you who wanted this. It was you who initiated this. You wanted to feel this. You want this. "Take me, Yuta."

His lust hooded eyes were back as his right hand touched your breast. The coldness of the leather belt, a contrast to the blazing sensation of your skin. His thumb played with your erect nipple, twirling and pulling. You had to close your eyes, whimpers escaping your mouth at the sensation. "You're so pretty." He mumbled as he nuzzled his head between your breasts, licking the exposed skin. "I want to mark you but you're not mine."

Yuta's tongue licked your nipple while staring straight at you that made you arch your back, pushing your breasts closer to him. His mouth devoured your breast, tongue playing with the perky nipples inside his mouth. He's so good with his mouth. Really good.

He went to the other breast, his right hand rubbing your thigh while the other was placed on your waist. All you could do is moan. Yep, the rumors are true. Yuta is such a God.

By now, you're so wet that you raised your hips for some friction but he pushed you back. You crossed your legs as you felt the bubbling in your stomach. "Yuta, please." You begged as you felt him smirk. "I'm…" But he let go of your breast with a pop, staring at you.

Annoyed, you sat on his lap and started grinding your wet core against his pants. You wanted that release that he just denied to you. You wanted to cum already. But obviously, he had other things in mind. "Naughty, baby. Are you that desperate?" You nodded. "Lie down, stomach flat."

You didn't even know where this was going but you followed him, you lay down on his lap. His erect member can be felt against your stomach and you focus on his hands. His left hand touched your hair, down to your naked back then stopped at the waistband of your jeans. His right hand followed the same route and you moaned at the rough feeling of leather. You felt his hand on the cheeks of your butt and realized where this is going.

You closed your eyes as you felt his hand slap one of the cheeks, moaning at how the pain changed into pleasure quickly.

Another slap. But this time you had to yelp at the pain. The layers of the belt sent a sting on your ass that you cursed, "That hurts."

"You don't like it?" You wanted it but the consequence is that you cannot sit properly tomorrow. You shook your head. "Such a baby." He grazed the leather clad hand on your back once again, tapping your shoulders. "Both hands up."

It was difficult but you obeyed him. The leather was wrapped on both your wrists tightly, secured by the last loophole. He kissed your bound wrist, letting your arms stretch out above you. "I'll hit you five times. You shouldn't miss a count, understood?" You nodded and he slapped you immediately. "I said words, baby girl."

"Yes, Yuta." You breathed out. He gave you a warning then slapped you once again, stronger than the first two he did. You screamed the first number as you heard a hum escaped his lips. He gently caressed your butt cheeks before slapping it the second time, then the third and fourth. This was it, the roughness that you have been yearning for. You were so turned on.

He was done with the fifth one but he slapped you again, surprising you. "Yuta, you're done." You revolted but he smirked. "You missed counting." Another slap and you started with one, once again. You enunciated every number until five clearly so that he'll never miss it. A sigh escaped your lips when he was done and rubbing your butt cheeks. "Good girl."

The wetness on your core is all that matters now. You wanted to be fucked, rough. "Yuta, please fuck me." In the same position, he carried you to his room dropping you to his bed that you even bounced on the mattress. You were now facing him as he removed his shirt.

Why haven't you realized that Yuta has a navel piercing? That makes it so hot. You wanted to trail your tongue and see how sensitive it is. “You like what you see, princess?” You nodded, biting your lip as you anticipated what he would do next.

He kneeled on the bed, legs spread caging you in. You can easily see the outline of his bulge on his pants. You arched your back as you desperately tried to have contact with him, wanting to touch him but the belt on your wrists isn’t letting you. He chuckled at your attempt, smirking as he slowly unbuttoned your jeans. You raised your hip up to let him pull the material down, throwing it once again across the room.

Your breathing hitched against your throat as his hands trailed your leg north to where the edge of your matching underwear is. “You are so wet.” His fingers traced the wetness on the materials, pushing when he felt your throbbing clit. His thumb pressed on the same spot as you squirmed at the immense pleasure. Two fingers playing with the clothed lips of your core. “You are so wet. Look at how your pussy is taking me.” You don’t need to look. You knew. You could feel how his fingers were sinking into you even if you still have your underwear on.

“Yuta, please.” You begged. You wanted something, anything to take you to your orgasm. To give you the pleasure you badly wanted since you entered his penthouse. But a fucker as he is, he removed his fingers on you. A groan escaped your mouth as he chuckled at your desperate state. The Japanese guy stood up and you followed him with a wanting gaze. He took something from the bedside table that made your eyes widened. This is it. It’s really happening.

Yuta unbuttoned his pants, removing them from him. “I want to feel you cum.” You gulped at his size when he removed his boxers. He opened one condom with his teeth, putting it on his length. If possible, it got bigger. “You still remember the safe word, right?” You nodded then answered him a soft yes. He removed your underwear, parting your legs together as he leaned closer. He sank into you as a scream escaped your throat. He’s huge and you felt your walls clenching tight into him. “God, you’re so tight. Doesn’t Jaehyun fuck you good?”

The mention of the name brought you to your edge. The orgasm that you badly want and he just entered you. You wanted to touch him, to claw at something while he thrusts into you forcefully that your body is bouncing against the mattress. “God, I can’t believe Jaehyun isn’t fucking you good,” he mumbled, drilling his cock inside you. “If you’re mine, I’ll make sure that you cannot move from this bed.” His thrusts were forceful, taking no mercy on you. And you liked it, a total difference from Jaehyun who likes to take everything slowly.

He kept hitting that pleasure spot that made you cum the second time but he didn’t stop although you’re still sensitive. He kept on abusing your pussy, complaining about your tightness and how your vagina clenched on him. All you could do is scream his name and squirm at the roughness he’s showing. Indeed, a true Sex God.

He came in the condom and you breathed heavily. You cannot do this again, Yuta is such a monster. No wonder girls find him intimidating and really good in bed. To your surprise, he opened another pack of condom while jerking his cock with his hand. “What…?” He turned you around after putting the condom on his erect cock, raising your hip up and pushing your head on the pillow. “Yuta!” A slap on your ass made you surprised before he entered you from behind. Your moans were muffled by the pillow as he kept thrusting while slapping your butt cheeks.

Fuck, Yuta is so rough. But it turns you on so much that even if you don’t want to do this anymore, your body is still reacting differently. His hand held on your hair in a ponytail, pulling it that you had to raise your head. You breathe in a lungful of air, only realizing that you had trouble breathing earlier. Yuta will be your death, you’re sure of that. And he doesn’t look like he’ll stop anytime soon. “Yuta…” You called, tears springing from your eyes. You wanted sex to be rough but not this rough. You’re hurting. “Vanilla.” You shouted.

In a snap, he was out of you and you kind of regretted shouting that word. He reached out for the belt on your wrists, undoing it to free your arms. “Clean yourself.” he gestured to the door. “I’ll get you something to wear.”

Your legs were shaking, giving out on you but Yuta already left the room so you had to drag yourself to the bathroom. A lot of things were running in your mind when the warm water of the shower hit you. You had sex with Yuta. You cheated on Jaehyun. You felt disgusted with yourself for letting your wild self do this. This is your fault. You should have thought of the consequences before agreeing to Yuta. Now, your friendship is in danger. And if Jaehyun finds out, all hell will break loose.

“I’ll call Jaehyun first thing in the morning. Take a rest.” Yuta claimed after leaving his clothes outside the shower room. She should at least tell Jaehyun that this happened. "And please, let this be our dirty secret Y/N." You lightly glanced at the door, seeing his silhouette. "I don't want you or Jaehyun hurt because of what I did. You two deserved better." He leaned his head on the door. "So please, let's keep this to ourselves." --

You were already clothed with your own clothes when the doorbell rang. Thinking that Yuta might answer it, you didn’t bother about it. But minutes dragged and there's no one answering it that you went outside the room and opened the door. Jaehyun was looking at you in worry, holding your cheek asking what’s wrong. “I kept on calling you. Luckily, Yuta hyung called me and said you were here.”

“Jaehyun…” A male grunt can be heard from the kitchen before she could speak, followed by a girl calling Yuta’s name. Your eyes widened in surprise as you saw him bending a girl on the kitchen counter. When he noticed the two of you, he just covered his naked waist with a kitchen towel, smacking the girl’s ass, and asked her to wait for him.

Jaehyun gave another look at the girl who was eating the sausages. “So that’s your girlfriend.” Your boyfriend asked which made the Japanese nod while smirking. “Thank you for taking care of Y/N. I’ll take her home now.”

Yuta smiled, nodding at him. Jaehyun held your hand, pulling you out but Yuta had to stop the two of you. “The thread of your sweater.” he said as he held both of your shoulders, standing dangerously close to you that you can feel his hard-on. You glanced at Jaehyun who was checking his phone, “Call me.” Yuta whispered then handed something that surprised you.

Two strings. Tied together in a knot.  

Fuck, he wanted more.

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PART 2. 

[raydaug]

I found Sayaka’s speech to Yumeko just b4 their gamble rlly funny bc she’s talking about how Yumeko is so terrible for driving ppl to desperation and having no other goal than her own entertainment when she’s obsessed with a woman who does the exact same for seemingly the no different reasons

I like this question a lot. There’s a lot to chew on here, so thank you. 

You are right, Yumeko and Kirari are very much two sides of the same coin.But just as the metaphor implies, even though they share a common starting point (gambling), they face out in opposite directions. 

Visually, Kirari and Yumeko seem to be playing on the Red and Blue Oni myth, with Yumeko’s primary color being red and her personality being very...passionate, and Kirari’s primary visual signifier being blue while also having and much cooler personality. 

However, at this point, I think it’s just a visual reference or a simple coincidence. For those unaware, the myth of the Red and Blue Oni is, extremely loosely, that a Red Oni (Japanese Demon) wanted to befriend some humans, but he couldn’t because they saw him as a monster. His friend, the Blue Oni, decides to help him by pretending to attack the village so the Red Oni can fight him off. It works and the humans accept the Red Oni, but he can no longer see his old friend the Blue Oni now because the humans are scared of him. 

While if you squint hard enough, you could potentially see some similarities in this tale between Kirari and Yumeko, and it’s not impossible that the story going forward shapes into something like the above, as things stand right now I don’t see too many similarities beyond the visual motifs of the characters. There is another famous dichotomy that Kirari and Yumeko mirror, and this one has much more textual support; 

God and Satan.

Yumeko as Satan fits neatly into the most modern depictions of the Christian Devil. Yumeko is a seducer. She’s disarmingly attractive, sweet and polite, and uses these aspects of herself to  tempt people into giving in to their base desires for her amusement. Hell, Kirari outright calls Yumeko a “snake in the garden.” (CORRECTION: only in the anime) This is a reference both to Yumeko’s name (Jabami means “snake eater”) as well as the Book of Genesis, when Eve is tempted Satan in the form of a snake into disobeying God’s edict and eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil (keep in mind that this is a specifically Chrstian reading of Genesis, as the Devil as a singular embodiment of evil is not an idea that’s really present in the Torah). 

Kirari as God is much less obvious, but it’s still there if you are willing to dig a little.For starters, Japan, generally speaking, tends to view Christianity at best with curiosity and at worst with skepticism. There’s a tradition of portraying Chrstianity, or religions modeled after Christianity as the case may be, as evil or corrupt, primarily based on the rigid hierarchical structure of Christian Denominations (Catholicism in particular), which Shinto and Buddhism (the predominant religions of Japan, don’t really share. Kirari is at the head of Hyakkaou, her aquarium ,her Eden, with the student council as the enforcers of her will.

More specifically to Kirari though, Kirari seems to be riffing on the old theological and philosophical conundrum of the Problem of Evil. The Problem (or Question sometimes) of Evil is “if God is all good, all powerful, and all knowing, then why do bad things happen in the world?” The most common answer to this qandry is free will. God gave his creations free will and allows them to use it. 

This is the biggest and most important separation between Yumeko and Kirari. Yumeko pushes people to do things against their will for her own amusement. You can see this in her gamble with Mary where she boxes Mary into a corner but upping the stakes to a ridiculous level, or when she forced Manyuda to gamble with or, or with her second gamble with Yumemi when Yumemi was simply content to share the stage with Sumika but that wasn’t good enough for Yumeko. Yumeko is happy to be a nice, charming girl when you play along with her, but when you deny her her fun, she’ll drag you kicking and screaming back to the card table. 

In contrast, Kirari never makes people do things against their will and is a major advocate for people living according to their own desires. She sets up the games, explains the terms, but ultimately it’s the player’s choice if they choose to participate. We see this most clearly in the Tower of Doors arc. Kirari explains the terms of the gamble clearly and explicitly to Sayaka. She doesn’t ever withhold information, and she asks for Sayaka and Yumeko’s consent twice before starting the game, giving them both opportunities to back out if they didn’t want to continue. We see also in her conversation with Terano in Chapter 82 that she’s trying to push Terano to exercise her own free will instead of always prioritizing the needs of others over her own. 

Kirari gives people tools and watches what they do with them, while Yumeko pics up those tools and starts hitting everything she can with them. 

It is that distinction that I think Sayaka is calling out and how she can justify her attraction to and association with Kirari while viewing Yumeko with disdain. Kirari created something, a logical (if perverse) system that operates on cause and effect, input and output. Kirari doesn’t make people house pets. If you can pay your dues to the Student Council you never have to touch card or dice. And if you must gamble, Kirari isn’t forcing the student body to gamble more that they can afford and fall into debt. 

Yumeko in contrast is a force of destruction in the school. She upended the logical and orderly function of Hyakkaou and made one person a house pet and consigned another to a life plan for no other reason than her amusement. And that is arguably more monstrous than anything Kirari has done.

Akso, let me be abundantly clear: I AM NOT SAYING KIRARI AND YUMEKO ARE LITERALLY GOD AND THE DEVIL. Just that there is metaphor and allegory at play here.

[mae-gi-writes]

Deobi Playlist (EP 11) | The Boyz Imagine

EP 11: in which Kevin and Mae go on a first date and Juyeon’s girlfriend has bad news. 

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main Characters: Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz.

Genre: fluff, slice of life, comedy, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

-----

“You’ll be fine,” Hyunjae’s voice is a soothing lullaby to the ongoing tumulant war roaring through Kevin's head as he quickly buttons up his charcoal jeans and glances over at himself in the mirror. 

As per Hyunjae's recommendations, Kevin now eyes his jean jacket hiding a white t-shirt underneath, said jeans and matching converse and tries to imagine what Mae might think of him. 

"Are you sure?" Kevin repeats.

"Kevin, it's a date. Not a goddamn wedding," Hyunjae's voice resonates through the phone with clear exasperation, "she's not going to judge you for it." 

"Okay okay," Kevin takes a deep breath, "you're right. It's just a date." 

"Yeah, a date. With Mae. You'll be fine. Just think of it as just the two of you hanging out as you always do."

"Oh my god what if I make a fool of myself? Or worse, what if I spill something on her? Or me? Or what if--"

"Kevin," Hyunjae cuts him off, "breathe, my man."

Kevin does as he's told, inhaling shakily and exhaling through his mouth, "sorry," he mumbles, "I just--I don't want to mess this up."

"And you won't. Do you know how much she likes you?"

Kevin blinks at his reflection, "What?"

Hearing Hyunjae sigh at the other end of the line, his heart suddenly speeds up at the slightest possibility that this love is not one-sided. 

"Okay, this didn't come from me," Hyunjqe starts, "but--well, the reason why I was so keen foe you two to, you know, get together, is because I knew that she--that she liked you back."

"You knew? And you kept this from me?!" 

"Hey, it wasn't my secret to tell okay!" 

"HYUNJAE WHAT THE FUCK."

"I'M SORRY SHE SAID SHE'D CIRCUMCISE ME IF I TOLD ANYONE."

Kevin's fingers reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose, "what about Juyeon? Does he know?" 

Silence.

"HYUNJAE."

"Yes yes, alright! He knows too! But I couldn't possibly keep the secret for myself! It was too good to tell!"

"So all this time you both knew?!"

"We couldn't just betray Mae's feelings just like we didn't betray yours," his friend is quick to point out.

"Fine, fine. You're right," Kevin pauses, "but still--"

"Let's not continue this or you might be late for your date."

Kevin's eyes impulsively flit over to the clock on his nightstand, before letting out a reluctant groan of agreement, "fine. But I have questions when I return."

"Aye sir." 

Kevin had planned out the day with precise timing and to the finest detail. They were to have lunch at a coffee shop overlooking the Han River, a location chosen both because of the beautiful view it gave and for its location, since it was close to the arcade he'd carefully picked out just a few days prior. After that, they'd head over to the arcade for an afternoon of fun and games, and later on they could walk along the Han River, hand in hand, while watching the sunset coating the entire city in warm shades of gold. 

But of course, he should've known that everything would just go wrong from the moment he set his mind to make this day as perfect as possible. 

For starters, they met up at the coffee shop entrance only to realize that it's closed for renovation. As a result, they had no choice but to find a nearby fast food joint, settling on greasy burgers and too-salty fries to match and although Mae assures him that she is perfectly fine with that choice, it definitely does not hit the sweet romantic spot that Kevin has been aiming for. 

“Honestly, this suits more my style anyway,” Mae says as she bites a big mouthful of beef and bacon burger. 

“Sure,” is what he mumbles, though his mind is clearly trying to piece up together a better action plan for the rest of the day to come. 

It’s fine, he tells himself internally, it will definitely get better from there. Right? Right? 

It doesn’t. 

The moment they head to the arcade, they are bombarded with a group of ten-year old children running around and screaming at the top of their lungs, clambering up on makeshift motorbikes and squealing at the top of their lungs as they attempt to shoot down zombies through a two-dimensional screen. 

It’s practically impossible to hear what Mae is saying, yet have a romantic date together.

“Kevin,” Mae shouts over the cacophony of piercing screams echoing throughout the neon-coloured room. She tugs down onto his arm so that her lips reach his ear, “we don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, it’s fine!” 

“But that was what I had planned--”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure something out!” 

He tries not to show his displeasure, but the scowl breaks through his forced nonchalance. Mae, having spotted his change in expression, tugs more insistently onto his arm, “it’s okay Kev. Come on.” 

It’s only until they stumble out of the arcade -- Kevin sporting a sour expression -- that Mae bursts into a soft chuckle at the said man’s face. 

She nudges him lightly on the shoulder, “come on, Kev. It’s not that bad. We’ll find something else to do.” 

“But I know you’ve always wanted to go on a date in an arcade,” he mumbles out, words sounding a little whinier than he’s intended. Mae can’t help but laugh at how cute he sounds and looks at this very moment, like a child in need of a lollipop to feel better and as if on its own accord, her hand reaches out to pat his head.

Kevin blinks down at her in surprise, at the lingering smile faltering at the corner of her lips upon realizing how close they are at this very moment. Clearing her throat and quickly turning away so as to avoid direct confrontation of this awkward atmosphere, Mae gestures towards the Han River without meeting his eyes. 

“How about we go for a walk?” she asks. “Okay,” he mumbles, still slightly put out that all that planning has resulted in absolutely nothing. What if Mae thinks he actually doesn’t really care about first impressions? Or what if she’s someone who actually loves big romantic gestures and had been expecting so much from him, only to be disappointed by his lack of effort? These sort of questions keep on daunting the back of Kevin’s mind as the pair make their way to the riverside. The sun is shining in the distance, though grey clouds linger underneath like a barrier that already hints there will be no sunset today, which only makes Kevin want to stomp his foot in protest. It’s not fair! Chants his inner subconscious as Mae’s voice chimes through the air: 

“So this is definitely not the kind of date that I had been expecting.” 

“Thanks Mae,” he mutters, “that’s exactly what I want to hear right now.” 

She can’t help but burst out laughing at his face transformed into a pout, eyebrows drawn together and lips turned down, clearly upset by it all, “and here I thought you were one with the big romantic gestures.” 

“Look, I had the date all planned out to the finest detail,” Kevin protests as they reach the riverbank, “it was perfect in my head. And then all this shit happened.” 

“You tried,” she grins, “I appreciate that.” 

“And yet, you’re still laughing.” 

“It’s funny! You should see yourself! I’ve never seen you pouting that much in my entire life.” 

“Because I wanted today to be special,” he all but grumbles, scowling at how funny she finds it when he’s put so much effort. And for what? Absolutely nothing! “I didn’t want it to be just any date.”

“It’s fine, really. It’s just a date.” 

“It’s not--” his eyes catch her own, blazing with emotion, “--just a date. It was officially our first. I just wanted it to be special, you know?” 

There’s a slight pause as the girl takes in his words, a half-smile still dancing at the corners of her lips as she tries to find any kind of fault to the young man who thinks he has screwed everything up. In truth, she couldn’t have asked for anything better, and the fact that Kevin’s plans -- despite his amazing preparation -- have failed just makes it all the more special, and will definitely be something she’ll cherish forever. 

But she knows, no matter how much she talks, Kevin will definitely keep beating himself up about it because that is just the kind of person he is, the kind of person that expects so much from themselves, only to loathe themselves for it for reasons that shouldn’t exist in the first place. 

So she does the only thing that she thinks will boost his morale. She closes the gap between their bodies in one fluid movement before stretching up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

Kevin’s eyes are as round as saucers when she pulls back, jaw falling slack at her more than intimate action. He can’t recall the last time they’ve been this close, and it had definitely not been on romantic terms. 

This, this feels different. It is different. His hand tingles with the desire to touch his cheek, just to feel the residual warmth followed by her soft imprint.

“Thank you,” Mae murmurs as Kevin probes at her face in an attempt to find out what is going on inside that head of hers. From the soft peony colour dusting her cheeks, he’d have to think that she is definitely smitten. She continues in that shy, soft voice that is a complete contrast to her usual strong tone, “what you intended was meaningful enough.” 

His lips twitch, threatening to break into a shit-eating grin as he replies, "no problem," in what he hopes is a nonchalant, blazéed manner.

They continue striding down the pathway and it is then that Kevin finds the courage to brush the back of his knuckles against hers. And when her eyes flutter to his with curiosity, he forces his courage forward, wraps his fingers around her own before squeezing softly. 

He refuses to meet her questioning gaze, instead focusing on the sight ahead. The sun is melting into the Han river's surface, covered up by clouds so that only strands of pale light slither through. It is definitely not the most romantic mood he'd wished for, definitely not the perfect date he'd carved out in his head. 

But it'll do for now. He is content enough, because Mae is at his side, because his heart is now full with butterflies as he thinks of more exciting days to come. 

Later, the pair find themselves at a late night convenience store to buy cold canned coffee drinks and a bowl of ramen to share. Setting down at one of the outside tables and huddling together to escape the bite of the cold, Mae allows herself to get a whiff of Kevin's cologne, a scent that she grew up knowing and yet, right now this scent means so much more. 

"Now this, this is the best date I've ever had," she exclaims, slurping up the ramen and allowing the salty taste of soy sauce and Korean chilli fill her tongue, "how you gonna beat this, Kev?"

"If this was what you call the beat date, then you haven't seen anything honey." 

"Oh, overconfident now are we?" She says, a little more comfortable with being playful. 

Kevin rolls his eyes, chewing on his mouthful of noodles before passing the bowl over to her once more, "You're the one who apparently has low standards. But that's okay, It can only get better from there." 

"See, that's not something you should say to your date." 

"Why not?" 

"That's something you'd say to like, I don't know, your best friend." 

"Aren't you? My best friend?" 

Mae's halfway through gulping some of her coffee when her mind registers his words, and boy is she glad that she manages not to choke, "uh--I mean, wait--I don't understand." 

"If you're wondering whether you're my date or my best friend, don't worry," Kevin smirks, "you're both." 

"And how does that work?" 

"It doesn't. You're my best friend, and I love you--"

As soon as the words fall from his lips, the said man's ears redden as realization hits him like a truck. 

"What--" Mae breathes, "what did you just say?" 

"Nothing."

"Say it. I heard it, but I want you to say it."

"I--I--" his eyes darted back and forth with growing panic. What the fuck Kevin? He wants to slap himself across the back of his head. This is your first date! How the fuck did you ruin it so fast?

"Kevin," her tone was serious. 

"I said that I--" he takes a shaky breath, exhales slowly and tries not to throw up from embarrassment, "that I  love you."

The hitch in the back of her throat does not go unnoticed by him however, which makes the situation just marginally better.

"Look, forget I said anything. It's really not--"

"I won't forget it."

"Oh come on Mae, you can't use that for blackmail

--"

"I won't forget it because I know that this thing between us," she motions between the two of them, "is something special. And I don't want to risk anything by saying it now." 

The way Kevin's heart soars through his chest like a hummingbird about to beat out of its cage causes his mouth to stretch into a shit-eating grin, one that he can't hide no matter how much he tries, and one that keeps on glowing brighter when he notices the blush coating Mae's cheeks. 

"I--I know I feel something," Mae continues, trying not to stutter underneath the intense stare he's pinn3d her down with. Suddenly, she is all too aware of the lack of distance between their bodies, the warmth radiating from his chest, "but I don't want to say anything, not when I'm not ready yet."

Kevin nods, his smile turning gentle, "I get it, Mae."

His hand reaches out gently, smoothing over her cheek to curl a strand of hair behind her ear. He doesn't need any verbal confirmation of her part yet. It's good enough that she feels something special for him  something that can turn into so much more. For him right now, that's good enough. 

"Juyeon? I need to talk to you."

The alarming tone in Yunji's voice causes Juyeon's mind to come to attention. He straightens up from his seat before asking, "what's wrong? What is it?" 

"I--" there's a short pause as she takes in a brrath at the other end of thr line, "Please just come." 

"Where are you?" He is already standing from his seat as he talks, moving towards the corridor while dodging a few nurses scurrying by, "I'm coming."

A few minutes later, he hesiatates slightly upon arriving at Yunji's office door. She had clearly stated that they should avoid visiting esch other during office hours to avoid being the talk of town, but the seriousness in her tone cannot be ignored, no matter how suspicious it may seem. 

He knocks on the door, before he hears a soft "come in."  

Yunji, sitting at her desk with a stack of medical documents before her, jumps slightly when their eyes meet. Motioning for him to close the door, Juyeon does as he's told before taking a seat right opposite her. 

"Yunji," he starts softly, not failing to notice how hard she's trying to avoid his eyes at all costs. His heart clenches with apprehension, "what is it?"

He watches Yunji's bottom lip tremble, notices the soft glistening in her eyes, and instantly his mind swerves into panic mode: does she have an incurable disease? Or maybe her family? What about if someone had died? 

And then, the words hit him like a truck. 

"Juyeon, I'm pregnant." 

-----

Tagging @juyeonzz​ @thesingingfae1905​ @gratefulmaria​

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! :) 

[kinogane]

Essence of Combat, Part 2: Heat Action

(incidental Yakuza spoilers below)

(previously)

The second aspect of Yakuza action combat that stands out are Heat Actions. You build Heat, press the Heavy Attack button when you see the prompt, and

definitely commit not murder.

Yup.

They’ll be fine, folks.

Heat Actions are consistently the visual highlight of Yakuza action combat, with the cinematography and choreography focused in for a few seconds on your protagonist inflicting some unspeakable pain on some daft sap who thought that picking a fight was a good idea. The cartoonish hyperviolence of some Heat Actions are consistently cathartic, and watching an enormous chunk of enemy health vanish doesn’t hurt, either. And the series knows they’re highlights, as well. Not only do some games make performing Heat Actions a completion metric, there’s an entire Revelation mechanic in 3, 4, and 5 devoted to seeing wild situations and adapting them into new, creative Heat Actions you can use to definitely not permanently debilitate your foes.

In short, Heat Actions are a big deal. A big enough deal that it wouldn’t quite be a Yakuza game without them, and indeed, the first thing I was curious about when I learned that Like a Dragon would switch to turn-based combat was “How are they gonna do Heat Actions?”

The answer is Like a Dragon’s very own version of Heat Actions, Kiwami Actions.

And they're quite the successor.

A few hours into the game, Ichiban comes across a baseball bat stuck in the concrete, and upon pulling it out like a sword of legend, his overactive imagination takes center stage and starts coloring just about every conflict from that point on. Enemies transform into fanciful archetypes and caricatures, and the Kiwami Actions you start gradually getting access to are...

Well, just look at some of them.

Certainly, you can’t fault RGG Studio for seeing an opportunity to go unabashedly over the top and taking it. Like a Dragon is, after all, the game that took the aforementioned Yakuza eccentricities and pushed them to their furthest yet.

So really, this isn’t much more than the natural continuation of the trademark Yakuza bombast, applied toward Heat Actions with Ichiban’s particularly grandiose imagination. There really isn’t anything like them in Yakuza games past.

So why am I ultimately rather ambivalent toward Kiwami Actions?

Mechanically, Kiwami Actions take on a very different role in combat flow than Heat Actions, as a logical consequence of the combat system switch. For starters, Heat Actions tend to be spontaneous in nature. After building up Heat, you have a brief window to identify that a certain Heat Action is possible and then execute. Depending on the Heat Action, these windows can be quite short, so they can create on-the-fly decision making. I just knocked a whole group of idiots down with a throw and they’re going to get back up soon. Do I go for a Heat Action? Does their remaining health justify using that Heat? Or should I instead simply stomp for some quick damage and look for a weapon nearby?

Once you perform a Heat Action, your Heat will probably drain to the point where you can’t perform another one. Additionally, many Yakuza games offer benefits to retaining Heat while in combat and/or provide other ways to expend Heat for benefits like healing or better quickstepping, which means that there are situations where saving your Heat is a better call.

Another important wrinkle is that most games punish performing the same Heat Action by lowering the damage of subsequent repeats, which means that in longer fights against bosses, you have a strong incentive to look for and set up situations that let you hit a wide array of Heat Moves to drain the boss’s health quicker. So at the highest level, the core of Yakuza action combat is about alternating building and spending Heat in ways that will benefit you in a fight the most.

Kiwami Actions, meanwhile, are 1. uniformly almost always accessible when it’s your turn, 2. simply gated behind higher-than-average MP costs, and 3. do not have deteriorating repeated damage. Once you reach lategame, it does become feasible (and outright optimal) to spam Kiwami Actions (or one Kiwami Action) over and over again to deal as much damage per turn against enemies of higher caliber.

These are all trappings of turn-based combat and JRPGs especially, so they’re very much expected, but as replacements to Heat Actions, it’s a bit of a letdown? It’s just not possible in Like a Dragon to replicate the scramble of figuring out how to hit as many different Heat Actions as possible while trying to avoid getting hit. Instead, you just... pick it in a skill menu and it happens. Again, I recognize that’s just how it is with this kind of combat. I don’t think they should try to replicate that scramble, especially given how I feel about some of the positional battle mechanics in Like a Dragon, and I fully accept that I’m just not going to get that in future turn-based Yakuza games. But it’s an omission I felt during the entirety of my time with Like a Dragon.

Furthermore, on a more aesthetic level, Kiwami Actions weirdly lack the oomph of Heat Actions. Sure, they’re more bombastic and showy, but I find that the flair is often more detrimental than not.

For starters, every single Kiwami Action transports the attacker and the target to an alternate dimension where the attack plays out, then switches back onto the active battlefield. This is a practical necessity of not being able to guarantee that all battles take place in arenas where all Kiwami Actions can be depicted. In fact, if you pay close attention to Heat Actions in previous Yakuza games, they do the exact same thing, only instead of an entirely alternate dimension, the environment and actors are rearranged a bit as needed.

This pragmatic reality, alongside the simple fact that the increased flair and grandiosity means that the average Kiwami Action is considerably longer than the average Heat Action, means that Kiwami Actions are bigger interruptions of flow than Heat Actions. It’s a bit difficult for Kiwami Actions to have comparable impact when they’re very clearly situated away from battle and must have a longer build-up, climax, and follow-through, as opposed to Heat Actions which more easily appear to happen in the moment and are relatively quick peaks of action.

Also, if you look at the Kiwami Actions as a whole, they’re also sort of... all over the place and inconsistent in terms of showiness?

Like, take a look at Adachi’s moveset. The Kiwami Action he learns for reaching Detective Rank 28, Essence of Body Stacking, involves Adachi hitting two enemies on top of each other, then hitting them both down at once. It’s downright mundane. It could pass for a weapon Heat Action.

Meanwhile, the Kiwami Action he learns at Level 45, Essence of Hell’s Wheel, involves, uh,

You should really see it for yourself, if you haven’t.

If this was just one instance, it’d be a weird curiosity. Hell, you could even write this off as a higher level means a more outlandish Kiwami Action. That would be fine, but that’s just... not true? Contrast the above two with Han, whose Hitman Rank 28 Kiwami Action, Essence of Trick Shots, involves some Gun Kata-ass choreography,

while his Level 50 Kiwami Action, Essence of Assassin Dive, is...

a bunch of kicks.

What’s more, just about every Tag Team Kiwami Action is very low-key. In fact, besides Nanba’s and Zhao’s Tag Team Kiwami Actions, all of them could pass for Tag Team Heat Actions, which is completely fine and not a problem, were it not for these category of Kiwami Actions being a weird blind spot of mundanity in comparison to colossal pigeon swarms and spontaneous concerts. (They involve two people! Two people, both potentially able to do some wild shit! Am I to believe that Ichiban is just unable to come up with something suitably imaginitive?)

This isn’t to suggest that Heat Actions don’t have this spread, either. For every Heat Action where Kiryu or Saejima pick a dude up, jump five feet in the air, and drive the schmuck’s poor head straight into the concrete, there’s another where they just... kick a dude really hard. But I don’t have this problem with Heat Actions, so why the double standard?

Certainly, the mundane Heat Actions usually being faster helps a lot. It also helps when after you simply punch a dude on the ground he looks like, well,

yikes.

But two reasons in particularly really stand out to me. The first is that the gap between the most fantastic and most mundane Heat Actions isn’t all that large. Again, grabbing someone, leaping into the air, planting the top of their cranium right into the ground, and not killing them is very fantastical, but it’s just cartoonish and superhuman enough to be within the bounds of what you would expect of a Yakuza protagonist, so it’s not all that weird to see them do something as simple as slam someone against a wall headfirst. With Kiwami Actions, meanwhile, the gap between using your bat like nunchaku and spinning like an hypercharged Beyblade is considerably larger. The disparity becomes a lot stranger to think about.

The second is that even the more mundane Heat Actions can invoke a visceral reaction that the more mundane Kiwami Actions aren’t capable of. I’ve seen multiple people react to the Essence of Pliers Heat Actions, and the sheer discomfort they feel, every time, is extremely funny to me, every time.

Besides maybe Han’s Tag Team: Terrorizing Trample, none of the more simplistic Kiwami Actions come even remotely close to anything like Essence of Pliers.

And at the end of the day... I don’t think they even try to, or maybe even should.

I recognize that I’ve just spent a ludicrous number of words explaining in excruciating detail why I prefer Heat Actions over Kiwami Actions. And yes, absolutely, it’s ridiculous to compare seven games worth of Heat Actions to one game’s worth of Kiwami Actions. And yes, the tl;dr is that I prefer the moment-to-moment of the action combat over the moment-to-moment of the turn-based combat. It’s really that simple. Therefore, I prefer Heat Actions because they complement the action combat very well, more than I think the Kiwami Actions complement the turn-based combat. They’re just fundamentally different, and that’s... the point. It’s totally fine.

Believe it or not, I honestly didn’t spend almost any time wishing that Like a Dragon had action combat. Having achieved 100% completion for Like a Dragon, I’ve seen just about everything its turn-based combat has to offer, and I like it quite a bit. The stats are fun to raise, the weapons are fun to upgrade, and the skills are fun to use. Having to Perfect Guard attacks I’ve seen thrown my way for the whole game to have a chance at surviving in the True Final Millennium Tower is a satisfying postgame test of mastery. And for as much as I might seem down on them, yeah, the Kiwami Actions are fun to watch. You can pull out a human-sized grater and just go to town shredding some putz’s face, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that isn’t good stuff.

So why did I bother writing all of this, besides out of sheer boredom?

Well, I did say I didn’t spend almost any time wishing for action combat.

(continued)

[melon-wing]

Sleeping With the Enemy 2/?

[PART 1]

It had been a week since the incident with the Ghast. Grian had spend the two days after that holed up in the Concorp Country Club, being doted on by his boyfriends. And there had been a lot of talking about emotions and insecurities… It had really helped. He felt almost ready to tell his friends about everything.

Their next meeting was due today and once the business part had finished he’d do it. And this time he wouldn’t back out. After all his boyfriends had promised to be there for him, no matter what happened.

With a smile on his lips Grian entered the meeting room, still half an hour early, planning to add a few more blocks to his chair. He stopped in the doorway when he saw Mumbo and Iskall already sitting there. They abruptly stopped talking, when he came in and looked at him. Iskall seemed cold, while Mumbo looked utterly confused.

“Am I late? We were supposed to meet at noon, weren’t we?”

“Sit down, Grian”, Mumbo just answered, voice sounding a little pained.

Grian’s smile faltered and he went over to the table. “Everything alright guys? If there was another potato in the system, I promise it wasn’t me. I’ve been busy the last week. I haven’t been in here.”

“Yeah we know that you’ve been… busy. Funny you’d bring up the potato… ‘accident’.” The way Iskall said the word accident confused him. He thought that whole incident had been behind them and was now nothing more than a running gag. They were all able to laugh about it

“Iskall, what is going on?”

“Well...” Mumbo looked at him with so much disappointment in his eyes, he felt taken aback. Mumbo had never looked at him like that, not even when his whole base had been crowded with chicken. “We were sent some information about you.”

Iskall slammed his hands on to the table making Grian jump in his seat.

“You have been working for the enemy!”

“What.? No! I...”

“Well what does this look like to you?!”

Iskall opened the folder and threw some photos on the table right in front of Grian.

Grian stared at the pictures, his eyes widening, his breath quickening, heart rate increasing. Those were pictures of the day the Convex saved him in the nether Hub.

With shaking fingers he took the pictures and looked through them. There were pictures of them hugging. Of Cub kissing him, of Scar kissing him… And then there were a few pictures taking from afar of him hanging out in the Country Club. And a lot of them were even more intimate then the ones in the Nether Hub.

“Grian...” Mumbo’s voice was still calm, a stark contrast to Iskall’s rage. Grian almost wished he’d scream. The sound of betrayal coming from his best friend was even worse. “Tell us what’s going on, Grian. Tell us that this is not true. Tell us you aren’t selling us out.”

Grian wanted to say something, but he just couldn’t find his voice. His throat seemed to close up and he couldn’t take his eyes of the pictures. He just shook his head. This was crazy. This couldn’t be real.

“Don’t lie to us! Those are definitely not fake! This is you!”

“The pictures are real, but I… I’m not...” He said, voice shaking, trying to calm himself down. “I’m not selling you out. I never talk about Sahara to them and they… they don’t talk about Concorp.”

“Doesn’t look like it in the pictures…”, Iskall snarled.

Grian looked at the pictures and took a deep shaking breath.

“Well I’m obviously not talking in those. We were kinda busy with other stuff involving our mouths”, he tried to joke, trying to keep his tone light. It didn’t really work, his voice was shaking too much. In any other situation he would have been amused at Mumbo’s blush. Now though, with the way Iskall was still glaring at him…

“Why didn’t you tell us then? If no information was sold, if it was all so innocent, why didn’t you just talk to us. We talk about everything, don’t we Grian?”

Grian felt a pang of guilt and avoided looking at Mumbo’s face. It was true. He should have just told them all along. He should have listened to Cub and Scar. And now it was all too late and he needed to pick up the pieces of their friendship and try to salvage it.

“I was scared of how you’d react if I told you. I really wanted to. I was just too scared every time I tried. I’m so sorry. But I swear, I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just an idiot in love. And they just happen to be the crazy, amazing people that put up with me”, Grian replied, hoping to see his friends smile again in understanding.

They didn’t.

Iskall still looked angry and Mumbo seemed to become even sadder. What was going on here?

Once again Iskall pulled something out of the folder. Some documents and another picture. He looked at both in disgust, before throwing it over to Grian, who picked it up hesitantly. His eyes were instantly drawn to the picture.

“That’s not me!”, he said, starring at it in confusion. The picture showed someone wearing a read sweater  pouring water over some parts of the redstone. He remembered Iskall complaining about someone using water between the redstone. It had taken countless sleepless hours to fix everything. And Grian had been with him, not really helping with the redstone, but just keeping Iskall company and keeping him sane.

“Was it fun? Did you mock me, sitting right next to me, cheering me on to fix the damage you did?” Iskall asked, voice sounding strained with a hint of sadness.

“Well it isn’t me! I didn’t do it! That’s just… I don’t know. Someone wearing a read sweater and one of those damn heads I hid everywhere!”

Mumbo sighed and shook his head, making a vague gesture to the document in Grian’s other hand.

“It’s just… It’s so much Grian, you know? The dots all connect.”

The document was some chat log from their communicator. It said it was a private conversation between Grian and the Convex. Nobody should have that. As he skimmed through it, he realised it was just as fake as the picture had been.

He’d never written those things. His eyes stayed glued to one line in particular.

<Grian> It’s stupid how much they trust me while I’m doing everything I can to sabotage Sahara. Even after the whole potato incident. Bunch of idiots. That’s why we haven’t made even one diamond of profit yet.

“I never wrote this. I can… I can show you my real private messages to them”, he offered hesitantly. Not because he had anything bad to hide, but more so because of the sexual nature of some of those messages.

“You would really...”, Mumbo started, but was interrupted by Iskall.

“You probably deleted everything important. There is no way we can trust you. The decision has already been made. You are no longer a part of Sahara.”

“But… We are all in this together. I founded the Architechs.”, Grian protested.

“Grian...” Mumbo’s voice was still so calm and soft as if he was trying to soften the impact this would have on Grian. “The Architechs no longer exist. Me and Iskall talked about it. We are out. Sahara is no longer an Architech project.” Mumbo looked at Iskall and back to Grian. “You can get your stuff and leave. We’ll… talk again about the diamonds we made until now and the materials you put into this.”

Grian stood up, gathering the pictures and paper. “Keep your diamonds. I don’t need it. My boyfriends are filthy rich after all and according to you, I’m part of Concorp any ways.” He felt so angry suddenly. He almost wanted to shout at them, but he held back. “I’ll wait for your apology once you guys realise how utterly idiotic you are.” Grian tried to keep his voice cold and emotionless as he turned away to jump out of the window to fly away, activating his Elytra seconds before he hit the ground.

He was still in the air over the shopping district, when he heard the sounds of rockets approaching. He knew without looking who it was.

“I don’t want to talk!”, he shouted over the noise of the rushing wind and the rockets.

“Grian! You shouldn’t fly when you are so emotional”, Scar shouted.

Grian just glared at them. There were moments when he hated having magical boyfriends. This was one of them. They probably felt him being hurt and came to his side at once. He felt like he couldn’t hide anything from them and that sucked. Right now he just didn’t want to talk. He just wanted peace and quiet.

“Grian, we can help you. Whatever happened in there, I’m sure we can fix it”, Cub now called from his other side and something in Grian just snapped.

“You? Fix it? It was you guys that got me into this mess in the first place. I wish… I wish I never started dating you.”

Grian regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Scar had been right. He was emotional. Far too emotional. He saw the look of betrayal in Cub’s eyes and turned to Scar only to be faced with an utterly devastated and heart broken expression. And it hurt him so much to know that he was the one who had caused that expression. He needed to get away. He needed to be alone. He needed time to think before he hurt them any more in this state of mind.

And well… He was the best flyer on the server, even when he was emotional. Probably more so when he was emotional and flying more reckless than usually. So he shook his head at them, firing a few of his stronger rockets in quick succession, weaving his way through the buildings. He heard their voices fading away as he left the shopping district behind.

He needed to be alone. He needed some peace and quiet. He needed to think about this whole mess.

After a few more minutes of frantic flying he ran out of rockets and descended to land. He was in a forest. He didn’t really pay attention where he had went but he didn’t care much for his location now. He just needed a place where he wouldn’t be disturbed. He walked through the forest in search for a resting place, when his eyes landed on a small house. It looked like one of the other Hermit’s starter base and seemed to be abandoned. Just to make sure he loudly knocked on the door. But at the third knock the door just opened on its own, apparently not having been locked in the first place. Well that made things a lot easier.

Grian stepped into the house, looking around once more before just letting himself fall down on a couch sitting in the corner. He sighed in content and closed his eyes.

Everything was so fucked up.

He needed Mumbo and Iskall to be there for him. He couldn’t lose their friendship. But how was he supposed to regain their trust? They thought they had definite prove. They probably felt as betrayed as he did at the moment. It was a pity he didn’t have access to his time machine any more. He’d just travel back then and carefully explain his relationship to his friends before shit hit the fan.

But everything would be alright. They had been through so much together. They’d all just need time to cool off and then they’d talk again. Maybe they could get some more neutral Hermits to help them out and mediate… Yeah that sounded like a good plan.

Grian heard the sound of quiet footsteps and sighed. Well they certainly found him pretty fast this time. And he thought he’d have a good hour or two to himself, maybe a whole day if he was super lucky.

“You guys are really persistent, you know that…”, he grumbled, but smiled a little and opened his eyes, expecting to see his boyfriends standing in front of him. They weren’t.

“Xisuma…?”

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 15: DR. EGGMAN

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a mini-series of mine, in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, it’s finally time for him. The bad doctor himself. Gather round ladies and gentleman, for the spotlight is on the arch-villain that shines above them all... Dr. Eggman.

The Gist: It's the dawn of the 90's. A little company called SEGA had an ephiphany. They wanted to make a video game juggernaut that could rival the quality and iconic appeal of the then-unmatched Super Mario Bros, and their current star, Alex Kidd, just wasn't doing it in the way that they hoped. They promptly set about starting anew, as a worldwide phenomenon wasn't going to make itself.

So a gentleman named Naoto Ohshima created a selection of design concepts for this brand new mascot. One of these concepts was President Roosevelt in his pajamas.

Seen here with his catgirl body pillow.

The response to this character was “This is good, but we think kids would prefer kicking the shit out of him”, and so he was given an antagonistic role instead. In the meantime, after juggling the rest of their ideas, they eventually settled on a rabbit hedgehog named Sonic for their main protagonist, knowing his Mickey Mouse-like aesthetic would help endear him to the audience, and the franchise as a whole would have an easier time gaining a DeviantART fanbase later on down the line.

Initially, the character of today's review was but a mere lackey among many, seemingly little more than one of numerous minions working for Sonic's originally intended main villain, the Nonspecific Goblin. He was also dressed as a bee for some reason.

Which is the least weirdest thing in this image.

At some point however, they all got together and decided that actually, the guy with the moustache was the only one worth shit, and so he was upgraded to the role of main villain himself. With a spiffy new attire of red and black, he was given the bold title of Dr. Eggman, because with a shape like that, what else are you gonna call him?

“Funny you should say that”, laughed SEGA of America, as they rebelled like an angsty teen and named him Dr. Ivo Robotnik instead. While this name does make equal sense for the character, as he is indeed a hard worker who also happens to like robots, the reason for this name's existence seems to have been mainly because they thought Eggman was too out there of a name for an egg-like man. Whatever the case, this would confuse a lot of fans for years, and remains a point of divisiveness to this day... Unless you're like me and your first game in the series was Advance 2, in which the manual clears it up right away, and you accept the idea of a character having two names and immediately carry on with your life.

He would have aimed it perfectly if it weren't for the Sonic Heroes Parrot distracting him.

And that was that, really. It didn't take long for them to come up with his characterization, which was that of a cackling fiend with an ego to end all egos. This guy was the Narcissist Alpha, more king than actual kings, no strings attached. Other villains would build statues of themselves, but only Robotnik would deface Ancient Egyptian monuments to improve them with his face. Other villains would think “Nah, refacing all four in Rushmore would look silly”, but only the Eggman, the Eggmyth, the Egglegend, would go “Well fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.” Then he'd do it anyway, and proceed to address to the entire world that he did in fact do it anyway.

It also didn't take long for them to develop his primary schtick. With the dynamic of Sonic VS Eggman, you had a classic rivalry between nature and technology. Interestingly enough however, this turned out to be executed more tactfully than your typical Amish-abiding examples in similar media. Never was technology itself regarded as a corruptive influence that you should never utilise no matter what. Rather, it was only as good or as evil as the person using it, with it just so happening that the villain loved machinery only slightly less than he loved himself, and it was countered by Sonic’s best friend being a techno wiz in his own right anyway. Anyhow, with his machinery, the doctor would make a name for himself among video game baddies by confronting his enemy as the boss of nearly every zone in each game, rather than hide away until the endgame.

And all without a driver's licence.

In his soon-to-be-30 years of activity, he has largely remained the same since his inception. Other characters have been introduced, other villains have came and went, but Eggman has remained THE villain of the franchise, and he's remained a vital part of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe... with a slight redesign along the way.

The only ad I don't want to skip.

The Design: Eggman's design may be more simplistic than the likes of Bowser and Ganondorf, and he may not look as openly threatening at first glance, but it's still a very iconic look no matter what look it is. His original appearance was devised so that kids could have an easy time drawing him, which only makes me feel worse about not being able to do it as a grown adult without it looking like a Sexy Legs Kirby.

Still, it's a classic for a reason. With his to-the-point colour scheme, contrasting heavily with Sonic's blue, and his capelet collar resembling walrus tusks, it was an instant winner and made everyone goo goo for g'joob.

The Emeralds he’s juggling are a metaphor for the divided fan community.

And when it was time to give the cast an update for Sonic's first real 3D adventure (or at least the first one that didn't get axed for being a magic eye seizure), Eggman got a respectable change of his own. He was taller, his getup was militaristic, and his body was more legitimately egg-shaped rather than basketball-shaped. He also gained a pair of goggles that he never uses, except in scenes where he puts them on and then never uses them.

“How do my chicken legs not collapse under the might of my gluttonous mass? Find out in an unrelated tie-in novel that you have to pay additional money for.”

There was also that one redesign from 2006, but...

Be it Classic or Modern, I've always loved his design. Before he even says a word or does anything, you know from his appearance that he's a bit of a clownish sort. But he also has a subtle creepy vibe going on, with the way his glasses often obscure his eyes, and how this only makes the pearly-white, unnecessarily wide grin on his face that much more empty and unsettling. This little bit of eeriness hiding among his cartoonish physique reflects the full extent of his character pretty accurately, as we’ll delve into soon enough.

If nothing else, it's more effective than him having no eyes at all.

GRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU BUNNIES THAT I CAN'T SEE

The Personality: If you've seen my villain reviews, then you'll have gathered that Sonic's rogues aren't known for having much in the way of personality. There are exceptions, but they are indeed the exceptions. More often than not though, whether it's an alien conquerer, an ancient monster, or Dan Green the Recolour, they can be summed up thusly: They're evil, they want to destroy the world, and the heroes stop them because they're evil and want to destroy the world. If they're feeling particularly daring, they might go for a second colour.

Luckily, as if to counter all these cardboard drawings, the central adversary of the franchise makes up for these voids of personality by actually having one. And what a personality it is.

The writers of SatAM looked at this and thought “No, this won't do, there's no character to work with here.”

He really is brimming with comedic charm. Every moment that he's present...

Every moment that he shows off...

Every moment that he basks in his own glory...

Every moment that he unveils a new wicked scheme...

Every moment that he puts his enemies to the test...

Every moment that he challenges the world...

Every moment that he laughs at the world...

Every moment that he lives, nay, every moment that he breathes...

Yes, the man has plenty of humor, and it's part of what makes him so enjoyable and memorable. However, if you think being a clown is all there is to him, then prepare to have your expectations subverted initial assumptions taken in a unexpected direction, because although he puts the goof in goofy, he ALSO puts the “oh...?” in “oh shit”.

For you see, Eggman is by all means the epitome of Laughably Evil, but do not, under any circumstance, take him at face value and write him off as a joke. He is anything but.

For starters, he can swing a planet.

There is a rule of thumb that I personally go by with Eggman’s characterization, one that I believe is an immediate make or break factor in regards to whether or not you understand what makes this villain work. Eggman - when you put all his secondary traits aside - is made up of two prominent halves. There’s the egocentric meme machine that bounces up and down like a kid with his N64 and laughs like Santa... and there’s the monster buried within that remains completely and utterly unrepentant for everything he’s responsible for. This is very important. Despite the character’s simplicity at his core, many writers have failed to grasp this, official writers included, and I for the life of me cannot understand why this is such a recurring problem. Eggman is funny, AND Eggman is evil. Both are equal. When you take away one or the other, you may have a funny character, or you may have an evil character, but you don’t have Eggman. Simple as.

Armchair intellectuals may argue that Eggman’s deeds aren’t that evil, since he tends to be merely callous rather than actively trying to hurt or kill people. Those people are probably the types on TV Tropes who weigh a villain’s evilness and effectiveness purely through the surface-level scale of their goals rather than what they actually do to achieve them. While it is true that Eggman tends to be more apathetic about the aftermath of his actions, that doesn’t - and shouldn’t - negate how dangerous he is. It shouldn’t negate what he’s capable of. It shouldn’t negate how far he’s willing to go. And it shouldn’t negate the consequences and casualties that can and do result from his many schemes.

Seriously, think about this for a second. If you confronted Eggman about his current plan to... I dunno, make a water park in Africa or some shit, and you informed him that there has been unexpected mass suffering as a result of this, how do you think he would truly feel about that? What do you think he would actually say to that?

Spoiler: No fucks.

If anything, that he “merely” doesn’t care either way as long as he gets what he wants is more uniquely horrific and deplorable than if he were a generic baddie who committed his evulz specifically for evulz’s own sake and nothing more. At least you’re inadvertently acknowledging that other people’s lives have value when you act one-dimensionally gleeful over ending them, but when your immediate response to the side-effect of a million potential deaths and environmental disasters is “Oh well, fuck ‘em, Eggmanland time baybeeee”, that’s a new level of cruelty.

Besides, even in the Genesis era, he was carpet bombing Angel Island...

“Good thing I have this shield. Sucks to be this forest!”

And he’s only gotten worse since then, indulging in such acts as going full suicide bomber with a missile, after his initial plot to destroy and rebuild Station Square through the means of Chaos and the Egg Carrier didn’t work out...

But don’t worry, he kept it lighthearted by making it look like a penis.

Making one of Sonic’s friends go insane with power against their will, forcing the Blue Blur to put them down personally...

It’s ironic, cause he’s metal. Or do I have to awkwardly explain the joke two more times before I’m a proper YouTuber?

Capturing thousands of innocent aliens, and forcefully converting them into mindless beasts...

I’m pretty sure I saw Alfred Molina conduct this experiment one time.

He even removed the heroes’ collective IQs so that he could shoehorn a cliffhanger on an already terrible game.

Thanks, cunt.

And honestly? When it comes to Sonic and chums at least, Eggman does let out a more openly sadistic side now and then. Need I mention that time when the doctor forced Sonic and two random buddies to make their way through a trap-infested island of his own creation? Not for the sake of nabbing Chaos Emeralds or anything of the sort mind you, he just wanted the blue motor mouth to suffer.

Images you can hear.

To make matters even worse, as befitting of his manchild tendencies, he’s ridiculously petty. How petty? Petty enough to abduct a little girl’s mother for no other reason than because Cheese completely trivialized his forces the girl was friends with Sonic and helped participate in the latest kicking of his own ass.

He only picked Vanilla because there was no Strawberry.

But at least his captives can admire the sheer variety that their captor has to offer. One of the greatest things about the doctor's style is that anything goes. With all due respect to Bowser, he tends to stick with his fiery castles (although he has been branching out recently), and plenty of other villains in gaming tend to be similarly stuck in their ways when it comes to tastes. Eggman, on the other hand, will create all sorts of fortresses and reside anywhere on the planet and beyond. It can be in the sky, in space, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, under the sea, in a circus... and every now and then, he might combine some of them together and thensome. So long as it's even vaguely mechanical in some way, his ground rules have already been ticked off.

Hang on a minute...

You know what else Eggman is? Relentless.

Persistence is a quality that most villains by their very nature share, lest they cease to be an effective antagonist. But once again, Rrrrrrrobotnik maxes out more than any other, and will often go to insane lengths to keep the current plan going, or if not that, then to spite Sonic.

Exhibit A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles, in which the grand finale consists of the madman throwing a gravity-shifting contraption your way, busting out a Kaiju-sized robo, escaping with the Master Emerald after his defeat, continuing to escape even after the Death Egg has been thoroughly destroyed, getting chased through the asteroid fields in space by Super Sonic, and only finally going down when the escape craft and the piloted mech controlling the escape craft are down. And all of this came after a grand adventure where, among other things, he destroyed an entire level just to kill you.

There are immortal omnipotents that put up less of a challenge.

“Looks like it’s time for Plan... *checks paper*... F.”

His relentlessness also reveals another side of the doctor that is simultaneously admirable and terrifying: He bows to no one. No one. Doesn’t matter who it is. Doesn’t matter how powerful they are. Doesn’t matter how much the odds are stacked against him. If another villain were to demand that he cower before them, the scientist would laugh and show through physical demonstration that this is not the way the egg rolls. Unless he’s absolutely unable to do so, he will give it his all every time, and even if he can’t, he’ll use his crafty mind to find some other way to get around the issue. You can beat him in battle, you can foil his plans, but you absolutely cannot break his resolve.

“Dad said it’s my turn to play with the Ruby. I know this, because I’m your dad.”

What about his relationship with those who actually serve him? Specifically, his own robots? Well for the most part, he treats them like absolute crap, what with verbally abusing them at every corner and being all too willing to go full Vader on them the moment they mess up. He IS capable of expressing fondness and giving praise to his more successful creations, like with Metal Sonic and Gamma, but even then, it’s a roundabout way of praising himself, since he’s the one who made them what they are. So basically, you’re only valuable to him if you make him look good.

Gaming in the Clinton Years in a nutshell.

And as for Sonic? Yeah, like with any legendary and long-lasting hero/villain dynamic, it’s obvious that Eggman has some degree of begrudging respect for his opponent. But if you think this respect would dissuade him from actually going through with his ambitions of rulership...

As the hedgehog’s apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2 proves, as well as his defeat at the hands of Infinite and the subsequent six months of brutal conquest in Sonic Forces, Eggman is dead serious about his goals. If you think he’d get bored after conquering the world, he would simply expand his resources and have a crack at conquering the rest of the universe. When he says he hates that hedgehog, I’m inclined to believe that he means it, and although he may enjoy his “games” with Sonic to an extent, I also can’t see him wanting to remain stuck on square one forever.

If this were Sonic X, he’d just grieve.

By the way, the scene above? Undeniable proof that for all the doctor’s boasting, he’s not actually lying or exaggerating when he prides himself on his brilliance. Because when you get past his goofy exterior, when you look beyond the occasional, relatively minor mistake (*glares at IDW*), you’ll see that... yes. He IS brilliant. And not just in the science department either, although his countless robots and strongholds over the years are no doubt a testament to his credentials there. While he may prefer to go in big and bold, he can also be shrewd with his strategies when he wants to be.

Sonic’s aforementioned near-death experience, for example, was the result of Eggman turning the heroes’ own cunning plan on its head by being one step ahead of them. And in Sonic Unleashed, he lured his enemy into a trap, culminating with him cancelling out Super Sonic.

“...and pay the price for your Werehog gameplay...”

And after all those years of struggling, he finally got a giant monster under his complete control. “But he had help!”, you say? Yeah, from himself.

Did Flynn sleep through all this...?

Much like his inner nature as an evil bastard, Eggman's effectiveness is likewise commonly underestimated by writers. Yes, he occasionally makes mistakes. Yes, he occasionally overlooks details. Yes, he occasionally lacks foresight. But he is NOT stupid. A hero is only as good as their villain after all, and if Eggman is portrayed as a bumbling fool, then how can Sonic be a truly great hero? Eggman is humorous, sinister, and when the chips are down, competent.

...Did I mention that he's also a master Olympian?

The Execution: There's no surprises here. You knew from the moment you saw this review that my stance wasn't going to be anything less than 100% fanboy adoration. In that respect, this section almost feels redundant, because there's only so many ways I can say “Dr. Eggman is the fucking shit and I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Ohshima for bringing this absolute masterpiece into our world” without it getting repetitive. So to cap this review off, I'm going to very briefly compare his portrayals in other media, and explain why they tend to not be as good as the original SEGA Eggman.

“Cause they’re not balanced, right?” you ask. “Cause they veer too far in a particular direction? You're so predictable,” you add. To that I say:

1. Yeah, basically.

2. ...S-Shut up...

3. While the conclusion may be obvious, it's nonetheless important because as I mentioned previously, despite how straightforward this villain is, writers seem absolutely intent on not getting the point. There are loads of villains out there who share Eggman's talent of mixing hilarity and evil together with a bow of competence on top. Two of those villains are among the most famous supervillains of all time, in fact. You might have heard of them.

Joker can do it just fine. Green Goblin can do it just fine. And plenty of others can do it just fine. So why is it such an issue with Eggman? What is it about a round body and a long moustache that gets people to think “No, this guy is absolutely incapable of being comedic and threatening at the same time, no question, end of.” Is it because he’s a more cartoony franchise? Well, that can't be the case, because even Mario has a couple of beloved examples. Fawful, anyone? How about Dimentio? Cackletta? King Boo? K. Rool? Hell, you could even count Bowser himself depending on the portrayal.

Anyway, the point is, writers tend to miss the mark for one reason or another. With Sonic X for example, he wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as the show went on, he became exactly the toothless non-villain that many people misjudge him as. We all know that scene where he berates Black Narcissus for harming their captives (not for pragmatic reasons mind you, he genuinely took issue with the act on moral grounds, even though his own hands weren’t exactly clean either), but even before that point, he was doing such things as healing an injured Sonic without an ulterior motive, not taking any opportunity whatsoever to start conquering Sonic's world because he was pining for Sonic's attention, and being the Jiminy Cricket to Chris Thorndyke's Pinocchio. Why they thought the goddamn villain should be the moral conscience of this show remains an unanswered question, but at least it no longer influences how he's portrayed in the games.

Then you have the IDW comic, which is a similar tale of starting off decent and then careening wildly into the abyss, but for different reasons. Initially, he was built up to be in-line with his competent, foresight-packed self from Forces, with his inevitable return being met with dread, and a delightfully devilish scheme to match when he finally did so. But somewhere along the way, Ian Flynn thought that Eggman coming back from his amnesiac period and returning stronger than ever with a new minion and a deadly virus wasn't enough to up the stakes... so they decided to “up the stakes” by turning both the doctor and his new minion into massive imbeciles so as to justify their plot getting hijacked by the Deadly Six, a move so predictable yet infuriating that it got even me to turn against the Six. And the reason the Six got invited in-universe is because Starline decided he didn’t like being unique and devolved into Snively 2.0 behind Eggman’s back. All this from the alleged “best writer” for the series...

Yeah, same.

And then you have the Boom version, which shares basically the same issues as Sonic X but in a more mundane fashion. It's easier to dismiss because it's a comedy-centric show and his redesign makes it easier to separate him from mainline Eggman, and I'll gladly admit that he does have a lot of genuinely funny lines that redeem him a little bit. But yeah, too much of not being a true villain for my tastes.

Now this isn't to say that there haven't been portrayals in other media that are up there with the original. The versions that I consider better off than the ones above include...

- The OVA Eggman is pretty faithful all things considered, aside from his romantic feelings for Sara, which feels slightly off since the idea of Eggman loving anyone other than himself is incredibly unrealistic at best. But it doesn't actually soften or undermine his deviousness, so I'm willing to let it slide for an alternate take. Especially since he gave us the best Metal Sonic out there.

- AoStH is far from a perfect show, but there's a reason why even its detractors tend to treat its version of Robotnik like a national treasure. Admittedly most of that is because of the legendary Long John Baldry and the endless memes associated with this incarnation, but despite hailing from a comedy-focused show like Boom Eggman, this Robotnik still had a lot of legitimately dangerous moments, more than you'd think.

- And of course, Jim Carrey's Robotnik in the Sonic movie is just... *chef's kiss*

So obvious aesop though it may be, but you see what the more effective portrayals have in common, I assume?

Granted, this also isn't to say that SEGA Eggman himself has had a perfect track record. The decade's worth of upstagings and backstabbings by other villains should be enough of a counterpoint to that claim, and I've also made it clear now and then that I take issue with certain games regarding what they do with the doc, no matter how revered they may be by other fans. Sonic Adventure 2, for instance. I praised the fake emerald scene, and I do sincerely believe that he has a number of other badass moments in that game, but because Shadow was playing him like a fool the whole time, I can't help but have a bitter taste in my mouth when I look at the bigger picture.

So close to greatness, yet so far...

So in that case, which game do I think has Eggman's best showing overall? That's not in any way an easy question, but lack of dialogue aside, I'm gonna go with Sonic 3 & Knuckles again, as the classic journey through the sights of Angel Island plays out in a way that highlights just how determined, ruthless, and underhanded he is with carrying out his mission to revive the Death Egg by any means necessary. Other games do win out in other areas - SA1 for how bastardly he is, Forces for how cunning he is, Colours for his hilarious announcements, CD for using the scenery to show the effects of his actions, Mania for not letting the other villain walk all over him - but for the purest essence of the doctor at his cartoony yet competent best, I'd say S3&K is a reasonable bet.

And when it comes to all his many traits, which one do I find the most special one of all? Well again, far from easy to answer, but I think the coolest aspect about him is also one of the most overlooked. Robotnik, despite whatever superhuman qualities he may occasionally unveil, is for all intents and purposes a regular guy with a big brain. This might make him appear unimpressive when compared to your average Final Fantasy villain and the like, but if anything, it paints him in a more flattering light than expected, because he doesn't even need to be on their level to still be on the radar. It's easy to be a big bad threat when you're an ancient demon or an almighty god-like being, and you only have to wave a hand to cause armageddon. But when you're just Some Guy™ going up against superpowered opponents, meaning you have to earn your threat level the hard way, and you prove to be a challenge every step of the way regardless, because you're just THAT much of a genius... that's fucking awesome, no other way to put it.

And you know what else is awesome? You may not like Eggman, and you don’t have to like him, but like it or not, he is directly and indirectly responsible for a vast majority of the coolest and most loved moments and aspects of this franchise.

The opening to Unleashed? Eggman set up the scene.

Shadow running around and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman released him.

Blaze getting involved with Sonic’s world and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman’s half-responsible for that.

Metal Sonic? Eggman made him.

Egg Dragoon? Eggman.

Big Arm? Eggman.

Monkey Dude? Eggman.

That text is missing a blue checkmark.

This review is probably longer than the echidna family tree in Archie at this point, so I better finish it off. If it wasn't obvious from all the paragraphs I've belted out in this post, I'm very passionate about Eggman and the way he’s portrayed. Ever since I got into the Sonic franchise in 2003, I immediately took a liking to the doctor, and to this day, he remains not only my favourite Sonic villain, my favourite Sonic character, but also my favourite character period. Some may find it a weird or lame choice compared to other, “better” characters, but that's the way it is, and I ain't about to change it. I am very unlikely to ever stop enjoying the hell out of this villain, and even if he got irreversibly ruined in some way, I'd still continue to love what he was before that point.

Because yeah, he's not the deepest character ever, but... who cares? Is it not enough that we find something that appeals to us? When I got into Sonic, I was introduced to fantastic games, a likable cast, high quality soundtracks, beautiful worlds, numerous friends on this very site, and of course, the lovely treasure that is my partner. I may not have been with this franchise during the 90's, but it's given me just as much fun, nostalgia, and happiness as those who were. Despite the flawed titles, despite the fandom conundrums, I still love this series.

And I still love this absolute prick.

Crusher Gives Dr. Eggman a: TWO Thumbs Up!

[xserpentlife]

Give it Up

Requested: I've got a request if you don't mind! A serpent reader has been kidnapped by the Ghoulies to be interrogated for info. No amount of torture seems to work, so Malachai strolls in to fix the problem. When Malachai enters, the reader whimpers not out of fear but because Malachai is *attractive* and Malachai is quick to realize this after a moment of conversation. Malachai uses this attraction against the reader to get info out of him and to gain a new ghoulie. Hope this isn't too hard of a Request! Please make it smutty if you can! I love you stories bye!!! (2/2)

A/N Y’all this was a trippppp lemme tell ya. First of all this is my first male x male smut and in general I do not think my smut is great so I hope I did a male x male smut justice. I had @wayward-river​ beta so thank you so my girl. I hope y’all like this I tried to give this the angst you all craved with the smut the requester wanted, and I just really hope that I did it justice and I love Malachai so. 

Warnings: Smut, torture

Word Count: 1970

You were walking along the side of the dirt road, the rocks clicking beneath the black leather boots on your feet a sound you grew used to in the years you walked the path from the north to the south side. Soon you heard  tires squeal next to you, arms grabbing at your sides as you were thrown into the side of a van, a bag thrown over your head. You heard sounds all around you but couldn’t see a thing. Soon you felt hands on your shoulder, your heart began racing.

“So what are we gonna do with the Serpent boy...”

“I say we feed him to the lions Dizzy”

“I say we have some fun with him first!”

“Look I don’t want any trouble, just let me go” You may have been a Serpent, but a troublemaker you were not, much like many of the others, you kept to yourself, with your mind racing you began not paying attention, that was until you felt a sharp slap to the side of your cheek as blood began to pour down your face.

“Listen serpent bitch, you’ll do as we say understand”

“I don’t understand the problem! I was on our territory!”

“Oh what did no one tell the little Serpent newcomer, neutral territory or not we need info and when we need info we do not care about territory!”

“Oh really, because when the Serpents find out they will not take this lightly!” the cover got yanked off your head quickly your face grabbed between the fingers of the woman standing in front of you her eyes lining with yours

“You are going to give us information and if you don't do well… let’s just say matters will get worse for you, now tell us. The serpents are planning a move with a product, we know you are the new recruit as they are bringing you along for the first ride, so what is the route?

“You’re funny I guess you think I’m gonna tell you ghoulie slut” a boot to your crotch came down, knocking the air out of you as another fist came and connected to your jaw spit and blood flying to the side.

“Tell us the route!”

“No and I’m not going to”

“Dizzy bring it…” you watched the ghoulie bring the bat, strolling over ever so slowly but quickly without a second thought the bat was brought down onto your shoulder blade, a loud cry coming out of you. No matter the pain though, you had to protect your family.

“I… won’t” the pain of your arm slowly made you start to lose consciousness, you began to go in and out.

------------------

“I see you two are having trouble here huh? Let me take a go why don’t you” You opened your eyes to hear talking outside of the door. They soon swung open revealing a curly haired man you had never seen, but you knew who it was without a second thought. The makeup around his eyes and the barbed wire wrapped bat a dead giveaway. The ghoulie leader you were warned about so many times. Malachai. He didn't seem so scary after all. A small whimper left your mouth without a second thought.

“I…”

“Hi Serpent”

“It’s Y/N”

“Oh I know, the names Malachai” he came over shaking your hand, you went to lift your hand whimpering as it was your now bad shoulder the sadness only seen for a second in Malachai’s eyes had you softening even more. “I need to talk to you”

“I know”

“Why are you being so calm with him, what the hell!”

“Dizzy drop it!”

“Yes sir!” You looked up at him, him being called sir peaking your interest.

Malachai smirked the same thoughts running through his mind, as they were yours. “You two… out. NOW!”

“You know you don’t have to be scared of me right…?” You looked puzzled as he pulled a chair up,placing it down lighting he took a seat directly in front of you, your eyes locking with his. You both started losing concentration for a few moments. His cough knocking you out of your trance. A hand, his hand being placed on your thigh lightly. Malachai watched intently. The way your eyes squeezed shut for a moment the way your pants tightened and your leg twitches, he knew what he was doing. Malachai leaned over your body straddling your legs as he leaned behind you cutting the zip ties that held your hands. The release of pressure caused your shoulder to drop and you to help in pain. He walked over to a crate on the side of what you now realize was an office and came back with a makeshift sling.

“It’s not much, the girls can be a little much, but I'm here to take care of you now” His hand raised as he pushed the hair from your eyes. Where on a normal basis you knew you'd push him away some trance like state made you crave him. You wanted him. “Follow me” He grabbed your good hand, leading you out of the room.

“Boss what are you doing!”

“Dizzy are you questioning me!” He let go of your hand, bringing it up to Dizzy's neck shoulder and slamming her into the wall. “Do not question me, understand”. It was scary to you, but partially hot in a way that you could not quite makeout. Your pants were getting uncomfortably tight, your breath halting. Malachai led you through what you believed to be the house of the dead. Through turns and corners you’d never be able to remember being started at and growled at even pushed to some point to where Malachai protected you and yelled at a member of his gang. The protectiveness seemingly making you swoon. He led you to two black double doors pushing them open to reveal a large purple bed situated in the center of the room. Him stepping in leading you in behind him and closing the doors quickly.

“I want you”

“Huh” “I want you Y/N, I’ve had my eye on you”

“ want you but I need that information”

“Malachai I can’t”

“Plase Y/N you can join me… join us, we are not bad people, yeah sure we may do some bad things but it is to get by, i am trying to make the ghoulies better”

“Mal you sell drugs!”

“The Serpent's do runs what is the difference”

“The do runs cause Penny makes them”

“How do you think we got roped in…”

“Mal i never…”

“What just always thought we were big and mad, listen y/n I need to intercept that deal, those drugs can put us on the mark I want to take them out Penny won’t know that we have them, and I want to destroy them, I’m working with Sheriff Jones but I need to get them out of the Serpents hands and he can’t do that or else Penny will know and go after the Serpents, this is all to take Penny and Hiram down. Work with us Y/N, Join the Ghoulies…. Join me”

“Mal I…”

“Think about it” You didn’t care you wanted Mal, ever since the first trade at the Whyte Wyrm something about him had you entranced and you knew that. Your lips landed on his in seconds he led you back to the bed carefully laying you back so as not to hurt your arm. The contrast of the way Malachai kisses to the way he acts is like a breath of air.

“You know Y/n I’m not so sweet all the time”

“Yeah?”

His hand came up grabbing your neck applying a gently pressure that made your asshole clench Malachai lifted your shirt up his lips attaching themselves to your nipples as his thumb found your lip, his face then moving up to your lips once more your hand tanging itself in his curly locks. He begins trailing his way down unbuckling your pants and pulling them off of your legs. You feel his lips on your thigh. You moan out

“Mal…” moving your hips, your cock moving to the side.

“What do you want, baby boy?”

“You know what I want…” Malachai laughed, moving further down, teasing the shaft of your cock as you started twitching. The light touches of his fingers grazing over your leg. His kisses moving so close to your cock that your thighs came together squeezing his head slightly as a chuckle erupted from his mouth.

“Eager much”

“Mal… it’s not funny” you pouted at him as he made a sad face back.

“Fine” without warning his lips opened and came down wide on your shaft. Taking you in his mouth he began making shallow bob's your fingers began tangling in his hair and your back arching with every movement he made. His hands make their way around your body as he slides you to your side slightly playing with your ass ever so gently as a finger starters to tease your asshole. You began biting your lip to be quiet. It became harder with every moment that passed. It was fine, until you felt his finger push its way deep inside of you, and a scream erupted.

“Fuckkk…”

“You like it baby”

“Mhm”

“Want you to be loud for me Y/N, want everyone to know that you're mine” with his mouth on your cock and his finger penetrating you in and out you were getting close to your orgasm.

“Mal…”

“What baby”

“Want you… inside me, gonna cum” Mal got up kissing you on the lips before quickly walking to the side table next to his bed. You sat up on your knees taking it from him and tearing it up with your teeth before taking his cock into your hand and pumping it slowly. You carefully worked the condom onto his already hard cock. You always got Mal excited. He laid you down on the bed ass in the air as he squirted lube on his cock.

‘You ready baby” you shook your head yes, he leaned over kissing your lips as his cock entered into your ass hole. You screamed out in pleasure moaning and grunting with every thrust of his cock in your asshole. You felt your orgasm approaching instantly.

“Mal i’m gonna cum”

��Cum for me baby boy, I'm right here” Mal started thrusting harder, kissing you as deep as he could as you moaned into his mouth cumming simultaneously. He pulled out disposing of the condom into the bin next to the bed, then came and cleaned it out as he turned you over. He grabbed you a glass of water off the nightstand handing it to you before taking it back and covering you with the bedsheets and slipping in next to you as you cuddled into his side.

“Their going to Sweetwater Mal, that's where you can intercept”

“He looked at you puzzled surprised that you told him, one thing you were was loyal, he never expected to learn the location fo the shipment, at least not just with sex. That wasn’t even his goal in all this.

“You know I didn’t just fuck you for the interception point right”

“I know Mal, that’s why I told you, but I also can’t leave my family, at least not yet. I want to be a Ghoulie, but if you're saying all this shit with Penny and Fp is going down you're gonna need a serpent-ghoulie. I know that is fucked but…”

“No babe that’s hot, that’s if you'd want to ya know… do this again…”

“ yes Mal, I’d definitely wanna do this again, you know minus the shoulder thing”

“I’m sorry baby”

“I know, now i just wanna sleep”

“Okay, c’mere”

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff: Gary and his Demons

WARNING: Your ankles and wrists are the key between you exercising your limbs, work out carefully. Thank you, take care out there, and enjoy.

The Downward Spiraling Days of a Demon Hunter

You know I hate that whenever I see Gary in anything, I immediately think of Spongebob’s pet. But this Gary is a hero of legend. A chosen one destined to slay the demonic souls of which seek to take over the world. A balding middle aged man that’s been doing it for many years and just wants to retire. Yeah, that sounds like a Gary, reminding me of a Bojack and especially a Rick. But is this like the other two, or does this monster filled dramedy have something else to say?

Besides being pro-tentacle

Well, for starters, how it looks and plays out works wonders for this show. Even with its pretty good well paced action and emotive characters, everything’s jagged, rough looking, simple, mostly dreary, essentially giving us Gary’s outlook on life. Contrast this to Rick and Morty and Bojack, where it tries to be bright and colorful before crushing you with the harshness of reality, the mood for Gary’s world is provided from the get go and settles you in immediately with its characters and humor.

While having a better edge than other shows I’ve seen

Speaking of humor, I’m gonna say it, this does the improv better than R&M. Like, it doesn’t feel like Gary or the others is hurriedly trying to put a specific joke together like Rick does most of the time. The dialogue feels natural; awkward yet casual, again complimentary to Gary and the office lifestyle he’s essentially stuck in. It helps that the characters of this world are enjoyable while essentially being a thorn in Gary’s side.

Bloody Mary honestly being my favorite in the show

And Gary, having the voice of Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Duckman fused, makes him a very pathetic, entertaining, and empathetic character to watch. He’s a character that was thrown into a life he didn’t know he didn’t want, and his nihilistic nature feels justified in the fact that, unlike Rick who can do whatever he wants with his life (but apparently isn’t smart enough to fix his life), Gary doesn’t have an alternate failsafe to his story and has to continuously face hardships that he has no choice in confronting. While he is the chosen one, he’s the tragic hero in every definition.

And really as a magical girl anime, it works

And really, the best thing about this series is that, with 16 episodes, it feels complete. All the characters got their moments, even the smaller roles (again, Bloody Mary was great), Gary’s character and story arc was completed in the most depressing yet funny way, and with each episode being 11 minutes or so, binge watching this again felt satisfactory. A couple episodes I felt ended too abrupt, but that’s a insignificant negative really. In the back of my mind, I wanna shout “SEASON 2!” but really, I’m fine either way. This series knew what it wanted to do, did it, then went off to drink and celebrated its accomplishment. Really, I respect this series and I genuinely consider this sleeper hit a great adult cartoon. So you know what?

5 Out of 5. It’s a tiger level masterpiece

[shogetsus]

Stripes of Auburn, Eye of Sapphire

Prologue Pt. V

Read on Ao3 | Read on FFN |  Masterlist

Summary:  “Aaaaanyway, we’re here, so you can put me down already,” She truly needs to place some distance between her and Masamune, and fast, or else she can’t think straight.

“Hmm, I think not. I’m pretty happy with you here,” He says in a low and very teasing voice, only for her to hear. Whatever complaint she could make of, Mai’s forced to put it off as a giggle bubbles up her throat, his breath tickling her ear.

He’s an ass and, for some reason, also believes himself to be funny. And hot like the pits of hell, for heaven’s sake! Can’t believe I like him already…

Mai

She squints her eyes as the first rays of the sun come by, groaning low at the feeling of her aching joints. Her companion—kind of captor, widely famous ancient Sengoku warlord, pristinely sculptured and more than the healthy amount of handsome guy—Masamune goddamn Date, seems just as relaxed and carefree as he’d been throughout the entire ride, gently squeezing Mai under her ribs after she shows some signs of awakening.

For all her wariness and natural fear towards horse-riding, he’d worked surprisingly well into getting her comfortable with it; a fact pretty much deserving of her praise. Masamune’s mare isn’t galloping at full speed as of then, bringing Mai to presume they must be close to… whenever they were going to in the first place.

As if by cue, he takes mind in letting her know. “Perfect timing, lass,” Masamune’s voice feels like a refreshing breeze of clear air, a stark contrast from her past agitated nightmare that was her last night.

The sight, however, is what truly takes her breath away—right under the dawning sun, it looks like a fortress, a castle and a city all in one.

“Let me introduce you Azuchi Castle, home of the Oda forces.”

Mai’s eyes roam all over the incredible sight displayed before her—for once, compelling enough to make her turn away from that deep ocean in Masamune’s eye. And wow, that’s the real Azuchi Castle, indeed! If she recalls it right, it’s been destroyed not much longer after Nobunaga’s death.

“Lovely, is it? A sight for sore eyes…” Masamune’s breath tickles the back of her neck and she has to do her very best not to squirm, but it prompts her awake all the same. “You’ll grow to like it as well, I’m sure.”

“Is that so?” Mai says with a weak voice, “How can you tell?”  

“You just strike me as one not up for sitting idle and watch the sunsets, and Azuchi has plenty of activities for you to join up, day and night.” His observation practically confirms her ponderings of him—apparently, Masamune is a remarkably perceptive guy as well.

As their wild ride turns to a slower pace, Mai stays put and takes her time looking at all the marvelous buildings coming to sight. Such a beautiful town castle, so full of life, only to be ransacked and destroyed due to the hatred of one single man—the thought of it kind of puts Mai at ease with some other lingering concerns regarding what she truly had done the last night.

Maybe saving Nobunaga, if accidentally, wasn’t so bad after all. If this city and its denizens get to survive for at least some more years, then it’s probably worth it… right?

She doesn’t get the chance to ponder some more about it as Hideyoshi—who’s apparently catch up some moments ago—comes up to ride beside Masamune’s horse, a frown on his face.

“Don’t show yourself to Lord Nobunaga with that expression. You look like a gaping frog.” He doesn’t even bother greeting the pair of them, returning to his usual scolding.

Man, is that everything that comes from his mouth or what?

Mai glares at him, imitating his frown. “And when, if you may remind me, did I agree to see him?” She wonders, growing annoyed in a split of a second.

For all intents and purposes, Masamune doesn’t seem taken aback in the slightest. “Hmm, so you’re a morning person. I’ll keep that in mind,” He appears to muse to himself, and she doesn’t quite understand from where that comes from, a brow quirking up in confusion. Although aside from he doesn’t seem to disapprove, his joking words spoken right to her ear remind her of how close they are, and how she’s still tucked tight against his chest, her face flushing more deeply.

“Aaaaanyway, we’re here, so you can put me down already,” She truly needs to place some distance between her and Masamune, and fast, or else she can’t think straight.

However, her protest appears to make the opposite effect on him, tucking her even closer. “Hmm, I think not. I’m pretty happy with you here,” He says in a low and very teasing voice, only for her to hear. Whatever complaint she could make of, Mai’s forced to put it off as a giggle bubbles up her throat, his breath tickling her ear.

He’s an ass and, for some reason, also believes himself to be funny. And hot like the pits of hell, for heaven’s sake! Can’t believe I like him already…

Hideyoshi hums in sheer disapproval, though. “Masamune,” He frowns even harder, “Lord Nobunaga has taken an interest in this woman. Keep your hands off her,”

If that was her only chance to be ‘saved’ from the Dragon’s claws, then that opportunity passes by with the next gust of wind, but Mai doesn’t get particularly upset about that, actually. So that’s how it is, huh? I’m a trophy woman now? Oh, that’s it! I don’t even care if he helped to unify the country or not,  I’m showing him who’s a trophy after I shove this sandal up his—

Her thoughts are interrupted by an amused rumble, coming from behind her. “And why does that matter? I like her too.” Masamune shrugs nonchalantly, sounding even proud of mentioning that, “Men don’t thrive in the shadows of other men, in battle or in love…”

Mai stammers, “Hey, you two, I’m right here—“ But whatever excuse she could think of, that’s also gone at the sight of Masamune’s sapphire eye, glinting with the delight of a predator hunting a prey. Yet it doesn’t come off as actually offensive, just respectfully curious; with a vibe of figuring out firsthand what she was just about to say in her defense, mixed up with a sort of genuine interest in her true nature, probably both.  

She can’t help but wonder what that prey must feel like, being scrutinized by such a wild force as the One-eyed Dragon. He certainly enjoys the thrill of the hunt, but what happens after he takes over his target? Does he like to toy with his prey or does he rather prefer to claim his reward straight away? Maybe it’s nothing like that, and he just finds amusement in watching people so willingly falling for the spell that is his incredibly alluring gaze, but that doesn’t stop Mai from derailing off; her thoughts wandering to some other… interesting situations.

Such amusing train of thought comes to an end as a large group of women make their way to them, all but delighted. “Hideyoshi! Welcome back!” Their excited calls bring her back to her surroundings, trying to call the attention of the men, waving their hands up incessantly.

They all line up at the gate to apparently welcome them back, cheering and making pretty eyes at the two warlords. “Oh, Masamune, you’re as dashing as ever!” One of the ladies throws what looks like her best charming smile, “Who’s your friend?”

For the matter, Masamune comes to genuinely surprise her, huffing low in disapproval. “How can you get this welcome every single time, Hideyoshi? Break a heart or two, will you?” His reaction comes to be a discovery for Mai, given the absolute flirt he’s first presented himself up to being, giving him a brief odd look.

“What do you take me for?” Hideyoshi scoffs before dismounting and approaching the crowd of women. “Please, ladies, I’ve told you there’s no need to come all this way to the gate for me. What about your work?” His tone gives way to real concern, though, something Mai hasn’t expected coming from the same man who’d spent every single moment barking at whatever came from her mouth.

Naturally, the women don’t seem to mind that and several come up with their own excuses. Mai can’t help but look at Hideyoshi, blinking repeatedly, astonishment clear in her face. “So, he’s just a big sweetheart and not an ultra-stiff paranoiac?” She doesn’t bother hiding her surprise at the new facts displayed before her eyes.

“Ah, that’s how he normally is.” Masamune shrugs, not giving it much importance, “I guess you’re just special.”

“Riiiight, so he’s nice to everyone but me,” Mai rolls her eyes, “Just so you know, that makes me feel the opposite of special.”

“If it helps, it goes both ways.” He remarks with a tilt of his head, “There aren’t many women who don’t fall for Hideyoshi at first sight.” His single eye appeases her, a glint of sheer curiosity in it. “That makes me wonder, who are you, really?”

Whoa, what a question. Mai doesn’t really know what to say to that—she’s just a normal person by her personal standards. Not safe to say the best friend or companion, given the Mai Mizusaki package comes with a non-refundable bundle of depression and a bonus of crippling and severe anxiety, but she tries a lot to make up for it either way, as any regular person would. Her inclination and interest in the arts don’t make her any sorts of special either, just as like her average beauty. Well, her D&D alignment is chaotic neutral, but how to start explaining such a thing to someone 500 years in the past, for starters?

However, in the end it’s not like she actually has to come up with an honest reply—Masamune’s wild eye roaming all over her figure as he leans closer and closer, turning her insides into jelly. Instinctively, her gaze travels down to glance at the curve of his tempting lips, making her unconsciously bite her own in her best attempt to refrain herself.

He truly is as wild as a dragon. And if I don’t do something about it, he’s definitely going to be the death of me. But oh well, I’d rather have it to be him than the insufferable Hideyoshi, to be honest…

As in cue, another voice rises up in the form of Mai’s salvation, recalling her attention. “Welcome back, Lord Hideyoshi, Lord Masamune!” The second warlord she’s met after Nobunaga beams brightly, joined by a petite young man, a tousle of fawn-colored hair on his head.

It’s Mitsunari Ishida! Ah, that kind one definitely has Mai’s approval. He must have been returned with Nobunaga, although the latter is—reasonably so—nowhere to be seen. And she has no idea who’s that new companion at Mitsunari’s side. I can bet my two legs he’s another warlord I should know about, though…

If reluctantly, their arrival turns Masamune’s unrelenting teasing to a pause, his smirk switching into a modest smile. “Why, even Ieyasu came to say hi. That’s rare.”

“… Ieyasu?” The name does ring a bell, Mai’s eyes blowing wide as realization slowly dawns on her. “Wait a minute. You mean Ieyasu Tokugawa!?”

Masamune tilts his head back, “You wound me, lass. You know his name and not mine?” One brow quirks up, looking curious and suspicious altogether, “But yeah, he’s right there, actually. That sourpuss next to Mitsunari,” He points at the fawn-haired man with his chin, “You probably should take this chance to say hi.”

After apparently making up his mind—if that lingering of his eye is anything to go by—Masamune then helps her off his horse after dismounting himself first. As very shamelessly as he seems to be and without formerly giving a hint of announcement, he takes Mai’s hand in his, leading her through Hideyoshi’s throng of admirers. They come to a stop at an imposing gate, before Mitsunari and the man who’s supposed to be Ieyasu Tokugawa.

Mitsunari beams one of his angelic, bright smiles. “I’ve been expecting your arrival, Lady Mai.” His smile is like an ice cream on a very hot day, genuinely helping with Mai’s sudden tension.

That is until she recalls the reason why she’s there, standing among historical figures of Japan of the past, in a castle city lost in time. She stammers for a moment. “I’m… I’m sorry, Mitsunari,” She’s not sure why she’s apologizing in the first place but he’s, in fact, the only one she feels she kind of owes some politeness. “But the truth is, I don’t really have anything more to say to Nobunaga.”

Mitsunari’s companion doesn’t seem surprised in the slightest. “She looks pitiful.” It’s the only thing he says, speaking right over her, delivering his harsh assessment with a disapproving frown. “You’re Mai, then.”

“Yes, I am. And, wow, so you’re really Ieyasu Tokugawa…” She can’t help but stare at him wide-eyed, genuinely baffled to be in the presence of the very unifier of Japan, of all people in the world. Should she bow and show more respect? Is she worthy of breathing the same air as him? Oh, wow, what one actually does in a situation like this?

He doesn’t seem to take that up pretty well, though, taking a defensive stance and crossing his arms. “What if I am?”

“What if you are… what?” She’s taken aback at Ieyasu’s ice cold eyes fixed on her. Is it really the founder of the Tokugawa shogunate such a little snot? He’s pretty though, with a dollish face like Mitsunari next to him, but that makes his peevish attitude even worse, somehow.

“Ieyasu,” Hideyoshi tsks as he joins the group with a wry smile, almost using the same scolding tone he did so with Masamune but appearing to refrain himself at the last moment, “That’s really no way to greet someone. Can’t you give them a smile at least?”

Masamune snickers beside her, his hand warm and somewhat reassuring as he keeps holding her. “Mmh, but can he? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him do it.” He tilts his head as if pretending to ponder about it, “What does your smile look like?”

“Why is that important?” Ieyasu frowns even harder, turning a skeptical look over his associates—if they can be called like that.

“Don’t be so unsociable.” Hideyoshi insists, shaking his head in disapproval. “You need to let loose, learn to smile and laugh,”

Masamune seems to be up for assisting—or actually, if his playful smirk is anything to go by, stirring some more trouble instead. “I’ll help with that! ‘Yoshi, you take his left!”

Scrunching his face up, Ieyasu is quick to scramble out from under Hideyoshi and Masamune’s tickling grasps. “S-stop it! You’re both annoying me!”

They all seem very friendly with each other, pretty much like a bunch of big brothers, prompting Mai to let down her guard some more. She can’t help to watch them in astonishment, however, mouth hanging low and a tang of unexpected disappointment coming up at the absence of Masamune’s hand.

That is, until Mitsunari turns to her, speaking in a low voice. “Like Lord Masamune, Lord Ieyasu is also allied with Lord Nobunaga,” He explains with his usual and recurrent politeness, “He came at once after hearing news of the assassination attempt.”

Mai hums in thought. So that’s why the all the famous warlords are all here, then, and not scrambled over the country as I’ve thought. But is Nobunaga truly held in so high regards for all of them to come so quickly?

Mitsunari recalls the attention of the group. “Hey, everyone! Shall we save the happy reunion until after our new arrivals get some rest?” Among the men, Ieyasu doesn’t seem remotely happy but either come up with a witty remark. “Lady Mai, the room you’ll be staying in is already prepared. You should get some rest as well,”

Blatantly ignoring her early refusal, Mitsunari and the rest of the warlords—not counting Ieyasu, who practically ignores them all and strides ahead—usher her into the keep of Azuchi Castle.

Oh boy, why do I feel like I’m walking straight into the lion’s den?

[thoughtsthatgounnoticed]

Thoughts on Venom: See it for Yourself.

For starters I never walked into Venom with high expectations. I warned myself that movies dancing between the lines of competing studio rights can often struggle to find its footing, almost as if there’s a want for a franchise to fail in order to justify it being passed to another studio (Fox/Disney X-Men). The trailer certainly didn’t help in reassuring me either. That being said, I’ve always found it funny that movies within this specific genre and outside of the MCU franchise almost always get sub-par reviews, which is fine I guess... Until the MCU releases sup-par movies but get stellar reviews. So I was disappointed, but not surprised that when early reviews of Venom came out, people jumped on the negative bandwagon. Well, I watched the movie tonight and let me tell you, it’s not as bad as what the critics are saying. Subjectivity is a given in reviews, but when a disproportionate amount of hate is given to a movie while other movies get an enthusiastic pass despite being ‘ok’... well, it’s a point to ponder. Here are my main points from the movie:

* No, Venom isn’t next year’s entry for Best Picture, nor is it the best action superhero (?) movie to be released but it was by no means a disaster of a movie and I truly believe the critic’s reviews are in some ways off.

* The movie’s plot did move way too fast at times and way too convenient - as if the scenes were just placed one after another without much thought, causing the movie to feel clunky at times.

* Certain characters failed to serve earned purposes and reacted way too conveniently towards bizzare events, probably to move the plot along.

* The CGI fight scene felt inconsequential and shallow. But another Marvel movie had the same issue where they built the story wonderfully only to end up with the hero and villain in a basic CGI fight. But hey, no one bats an eye on that.

HOWEVER -

* The criticism that the movie fails to find its “tone” in a balancing the darker action with humor seems wrong to me. Just because the movie isn’t brightly lit, doesn’t mean it can’t be funny.

* Apparently, some reviewers argued that there were moments that were unintentionally funny and for the most part I’d have to disagree. Why? Well, I watched the movie in a packed cinema and all of us unanimously laughed at the same moment. Which probably means those moments were supposed to be funny. Everyone laughed, everyone got the message that was communicated. I honestly feel like the movie purposely made Eddie’s partnership with Venom funny and that the bizzare circumstances often brought about funny moments within serious moments. Seriously, how many times have we heard multiple jokes and quips within serious moments in the MCU?

* The audience laughed wholeheartedly in my viewing experience in contrast to a previous experience I’ve had watching a very popular and widely praised movie in the same genre (won’t name the movie). For that one the movie tried creating funny moments that weren’t funny at all. I still remember feeling super awkward when the movie was trying so hard to be funny. Not only was the awkwardness brought on by everyone staying silent but also people who awkwardly chuckled because they themselves couldn’t make up their mind on whether a scene should have been funny or not.

* Tom Hardy played the role extremely well. At first I was worried about his accent in a few of the trailers, but it didn’t bother me in the movie at all, even though I feel like the accent came off as labored at certain points.

* In fact, Hardy really balanced the horror of the situation and the funny remarks really well. Again, I still don’t know why those two tones can’t co-exist? How many times have we all been in bizzare and stressful situations but have made light of it?

* It was a fun movie! The first action/fighting scenes were fun to watch, there were aspects of horror that were genuinely scary, and everyone had a good time laughing with the movie, not at it.

This is such a messy thought/review but the message still stands: it’s by no means perfect, but I can’t help but stand up for movies in the superhero genre that don’t have the MCU/Disney brand over it. It’s frustrating to see decent movies get extremely shitty reviews while movies that are of similar quality get amazing reviews/hype because of being under the Disney/MCU brand.