#[ not bemoaned because it prevents characters from ]

[midnightactual]

Physical Constraints in Bleach

I've said for a while that Bleach has exactly two known and quantified physical feats in 1. Gin's Bankai speed being given as Mach 500 (chapter 400), and 2. Rukia's Shikai and Bankai achieving absolute zero (chapter 567), but it turns out there is a third in chapter 582:

For the record, per Wikipedia:

6 gigajoule is about the chemical energy of combusting 1 barrel (159 L) of petroleum. 2 GJ is about the Planck energy unit. One megawatt-hour of electricity is 3.6 gigajoules.

and

The terajoule is about 0.278 GWh (which is often used in energy tables). About 63 TJ of energy was released by Little Boy.

So, if you do some simple math, 63 TJ is 63,000 GJ, meaning Candice is using 1/12,600th the power of Little Boy on a decently serious attack. Little Boy is best estimated to 15 KT of explosive yield, meaning Candice is using a little over 1 ton of TNT, and indeed a TNT equivalent is calibrated at 4.184 GJ.

Even if we're extremely generous and assume her later Electrocution fired at Ichigo in chapter 583 is 10,000 times stronger than the Galvano Javelin cited above (100 to 1,000 is probably more accurate), she's only getting to 10 KT of yield, which is a small tactical nuke. Even very strong Bleach characters are generally using attacks with absolute powers measured at the low-end of the tactical nuclear scale.

(I have had someone on Reddit argue with me that the Bambies are "mid-Espada level" based on their combat performance in CFYOW as compared with Grimmjow and Luppi, apparently wholly ignorant of the fact that Grimmjow and Luppi are much stronger by then than in HM Arc, as Kisuke explicitly states souls power up after near-death experiences [chapter 60] and Grimmjow has had at least 2 or 3 near-death experiences and Luppi actually died. They are likely much stronger than Starrk in HM Arc was by then, given Robert Accutrone in TYBW quite casually does much better against Shunsui than Starrk did. The Bambies are not weak. Also worth noting here that Bambietta is by Kubo's own admission stronger than Candice without Blut, unclear if Vene or Arterie. In short their attacks should be taken as quite high-end here, not low-end, especially as they just finished beating down a [substantially] weakened Kenpachi with all of 3 hits in chapter 580.)

As I've said before from just visual estimation, we can maybe say that Mugetsu Ichigo and Ultrafragor Aizen were in the 1 MT to 10 MT yield range and managed to get to the level of strategic nuclear weapons, but it's worth noting the largest bomb ever tested was Tsar Bomba at around 50 MT (209 PJ), or 5,000 times stronger than our extremely generous estimate of Candice's Electrocution, and it was a 100 MT design that had been partially disabled. (Nuclear weapons can be made arbitrarily large through staging.)

Anyone wanting to put Ichigo head-to-head with Goku, Saitama, or even Naruto, is on the basis of canon figures, an idiot. The series simply does not scale that high. Even Naruto does things that are on the order of gigaton or teraton nuclear weapons if not more.

Likewise, that neither Ichigo nor Aizen could dodge Gin's Bankai, and Gin's peers and contemporaries remained relevant into TYBW, means that Bleach's speed scaling likely never breaks Mach 1,000. For the record, the powerscalers want you to believe that Cero and Negación are lasers because a translated databook called them "light" and Bala are stated to be 20 times faster than Cero, and therefore even Lieutenants are moving at 20 times light speed... which would be Mach 17,480,600. Yet nobody can dodge Gin's Mach 500 attack. Sure, that makes perfect sense.

In other words, when powerscalers try to tell you that Bleach has continental or planetary or stellar or galactic or universal or dimensional feats, and is superluminal, they're full of shit. Bleach is an extremely small and constrained setting when it comes to both power and speed.

The Cold War nuclear forces of the USA or USSR could absolutely sweep Soul Society through sheer saturation, no diff. (And that includes Yamamoto, because his 15 million degrees Celsius Zanka no Tachi, Nishi: Zanjitsu Gokui is pretty weak compared to the 100 million degrees Celsius or higher fireballs of strategic nukes. This explains why Bazz-B could literally fight fire with fire against him. Maybe Mayuri could survive through trickery if he knows enough about ablation. And yes, those nuclear forces would eventually saturate speedy Shinigami with tens of thousands of nuclear warheads, they couldn't cut them all down, especially as they wouldn't perceive many of them coming from both the speed of reentry vehicles and the lack of reiatsu or reishi. And yes this does also mean that human nuclear weapons development should've concerned Shinigami greatly, even beyond the possibility of megadeath and gigadeath overwhelming the reincarnation cycle. And yes you can probably make the equivalent of a Naquadah-enhanced nuke from Stargate SG-1 using reishi or reiatsu to improve fission and fusion yields or just straight-up make the equivalent of an antimatter-catalyzed fusion bomb. Humans post-Trinity should be treated as being spooky if their governments learn about souls. Yes, this should have been considered the main reason to stop Yhwach and Tokinada's plans, as if the realms were merged, even the US of 2003/2004 would indisputably have military power over the Gotei 13.)

[sena-shi]

Protector of Teyvat (a troll hell-bent on reviving everyone just for fun) P—1

Isekai’d reader who is hell-bent on reviving everyone using your cheat code as the protector of Teyvat. With great power comes great benefits! Teyvat population stonks

Note: asmoday is the unknown god, reader also grants gnosis and visions, isekai, slight sagau, op reader

Summary: You are just a regular human being living your best life on Earth, collecting husbandos and waifus in Genshin Impact when all of a sudden you were isekai'd to Teyvat, but not as a traveler, a creator, or an NPC. You were a very close friend of both Celestia and the Unknown God, who is known as the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. You too, hold a very important position of the highest order because unbeknownst to the general populace, you are the Protector of Teyvat from the outside forces. And so imagine the Archon's faces when their dead friend suddenly came back to life just so they can accompany you together with Aether and Paimon on a journey to spit on the Celestia's face

Timeline in Teyvat when you got transmigrated: Before any wars happened. Zhongli is probably sucking on a dragon pacifier or something if that even exists.

Warning: curse words, slight ooc, lore flying over the ocean and going for a swim, author removed the lore from the irminsul so act like you know nothing of it, i'm putting the lore in the cheese grater

Teyvat is at last protected from the hostile forces of the outside world; however, you cannot be certain that Teyvat is safe from the inside due to the fact that those petty Gods have a tendency for wreaking even more havoc. Who the hell told them to compete with each other by trying to kill one another just so they could get a position?

Ah, yes. There's no way out of this one except to blame Celestia! The people you consider to be your closest friends are actually the embodiment of headaches.

However, despite the fact that it is your job to prevent travelers from entering Teyvat so as not to upset the balance of fate, one of your other best friends has in fact literally trapped the twin travelers inside Teyvat!

Just what the hell is Asmoday thinking!

And now, one of the twins is dead set on eradicating your other best friend, who is a professional for wreaking havoc within the world that the three of you have taken an oath to defend.

You would have annihilated the world a long time ago if it weren't for the fact that you made a pledge to safeguard it so that you could continue to observe your characters.

It's unfortunate that you only get to see Venti once in his adorable little form before the two headaches call you to join them in observing the people like the creepy stalkers they are. It would have been better if you can see more of Venti in that little elemental spirit form of his.

But hey, at least you made it possible for Venti to grab a position as a form of repayment for the times you would drop an apple right above his head.

If only the gods knew that developing a close relationship with you would also result in them gaining a gnosis, it would make everything so much easier for them.

No war, no killing, but they would probably need to act cute right in front of you to get one.

Though, you’ll be going against the Celestia if you did that. But what are they going to do? Hit you with an Anemo vision?

“...you can't just go ahead and do that.” The Celestia grunted and slapped themselves in the face.

“But I just did.” A lazy smile crept across your face while your chin relaxed on the palms of your hands as you watched the newly formed seven rule over their respective nations.

If you hadn't been smiling in such a devious way, the two individuals would have complimented your beauty on the spot.

“Oh my god—” Celestia bemoaned.

“You’re a god…”

“So, to put it simply, the battle hasn't even begun yet, but somebody has already won a seat. You called him a little floatie, didn't you? What sparked your interest in them in the first place?” Asmoday or the Unknown God, spoke to you as she continued to look at you with a curious expression on her face and a raised brow.

“Haha— you should've seen how Vent— little floatie bit into an apple that was way bigger than him. Quite adorable if you’d ask me.”

“…you granted him a seat just because you found them cute?”

“Oh my god—” Celestia lamented once again, “So it wasn’t a fair fight for the seat?”

“Never was.”

“Oh my g—” You couldn't help but chuckle darkly as you stuffed an apple in her mouth in an effort to silence her.

You jotted down a long list of things that need to be done, and you intend to get to them after you've finished taking care of everything else.

Resurrecting the pitiful gods that perished as a result of the archon war; perhaps rebuilding Khaenri'ah as a means of spitting in Celestia's face; perhaps as an act of retaliation for giving you more work all the time; or perhaps guiding the traveler yourself.

The sooner they reach their final destination, the sooner they will leave this world.

Once they leave the world, you are going to take a break and drink one of Asmoday's best wines until you drop dead.

But there's no doubt that those two will irritate you to death faster than you can get drunk.

You devoted your entire life to protecting the world from those pesky travelers who never stopped making a nuisance of themselves within Teyvat.

Because there are so many of them, you can actually see Asmoday rolling her eyes and simply wrapping people in her cube-thingy before sending them off to some unknown location in the vast universe.

And standing before you right now is the traveler that Asmoday entrapped in this world.

You only blinked in amazement when Aether pulled a flying fairy out of the waters in a literal way.

“Ugh…” The winged fairy in flight coughed several times before rising back into the air and floating once more with a slight swaying motion, as if she were feeling dizzy. “Paimon was terrified that she was going to pass away...”

"Well, if you're feeling like you're going to die, why don't you come over here? I'll make you feel better."

While you were laying on your side on top of the flat stone, you spoke with a joyful tone in your voice.

Aether turned around and looked up at you as he saw a hint of a smile on your face while you were looking down at him. Even though you were only dressed in plain white clothing and had flowers the color of the sky adorning your hair, he couldn't help but be taken aback by your otherworldly beauty. He found himself blinking multiple times.

Paimon, who was still not acting like her normal self, floated towards you without consciously trying to do so.

"Quite an obedient one, I see." You laughed as you poked the flying fairy in the forehead, and something glowing within her.  Paimon's eyes widened in an expression that suggested she was startled, and she began looking around in a frantic manner.

“Oh— oh, you saved Paimon!”

You gave a slow shake of your head while pointing at Aether, who was still standing there, and said, "It was he who saved you."

“Oh! Thank you very much, you are my savior!" Paimon flew towards Aether and smiled at him with a broad grin, to which Aether responded with a friendly one of his own.

Aether scratched the back of his neck and said, "It's nothing," giving the impression that he was embarrassed to have been caught by the mysterious woman who has the presence of a Goddess. "The only reason I was able to save you was because of sheer good fortune."

"Well then, why don't we all go around and say a few words about ourselves?" You spoke as you sat up from the stone and descended down to their level.

The two people looked at you with their mouths hanging open as they watched you walked in the air.

“Hey! You are also capable of floating!” Paimon exclaimed, her eyes glistening with happiness at the sheer joy she felt.

When Aether opened his mouth to speak, you quickly silenced him by placing your finger over his mouth and pressing down lightly.

"How about we start by introducing ourselves to one another, shall we?"

After both of them nodded, it was clear that they were ready to start introducing themselves.

“And just like that, the god took away my sister. Some kind of seal was cast upon me, and I lost my power. So, while we used to travel from world to world, we are now trapped here.”

In response, you hummed to express yourself. Naturally, you were already aware of this information; however, this is not only due to the fact that you are now the Protector of Teyvat and are familiar with the God who trapped the twins in this world; rather, this is also due to the fact that you were once a player in the game.

“So… you are not familiar with this world?”

Aether heaved a sigh and gave the disappointing response, “Unfortunately, no.”

"As a gesture of gratitude, Paimon promises to do everything in her power to be an excellent guide!"

“How about you, Y/N? Are you like Aether too?” Paimon cocked her head to the side and scanned your entire body from head to toe while keeping a close eye on you.

You let out a chuckle as she looked at you with an inquisitive expression while speaking in a very assured manner. “I know Teyvat very well that I can practically see it with my eyes closed.”

“Oh! Then you can rely on us to steer you in the right direction, Aether! We will definitely help find your sister!”

Aether's grin was sincere, and it seemed to him that a weight had been lifted off of his chest. "Thank you."

You replied, "It's not a problem at all," while twirling a strand of your hair and acting as if you were unaware of Aether's gaze on you.

"Then, why don't we begin by trying to get in touch with the seven?" You offered an idea.

Paimon started explaining about the archons and the nations that they would have to travel through before Aether even had a chance to ask what the seven is.

As Paimon went into extensive detail describing the location where the three of you will begin your journey, you softly hummed a lullaby, your voice gently caressing the ears of your two traveling companions like wind chimes.

"Mondstadt, hm? Stunning decision, if I do say so myself. Do you know that the archon is just around the next corner?" You made them both laugh by making a joke. Ha, if only they know you weren't kidding around.

"Where?" Paimon sputtered in shock. “Are you familiar with the archons? Do you know the archons?"

"Haha, well, of course it goes without saying that I do. After all, I did grant him that position." You smiled at them in a careless manner, and in return, they flashed a blank expression in your direction.

You never had any intention of concealing your true identity, and now it is up to them to decide whether or not they will believe you. A person who is able to grant a Gnosis is considered to be on par with the Celestia, or possibly even on a higher level than them. This fact alone makes it seem impossible that you are saying the truth.

Therefore, they may believe that it is impossible for someone like you to be wandering the lands of Teyvat instead of keeping an eye on them from a higher vantage point.

“Uhh… Paimon is unsure of whether Y/N is teasing us or whether they are actually being serious…”

Aether gave it some thought before finally agreeing with the statement.

"Enough with the small talk, let's make our way over to the statue."

The two remained silent as you led the way, and your lullabies are the only sound that they are able to hear presently. It was a very relaxing stroll to get to the statue, and the two of them couldn't have been more happier to be in your calming presence the whole way there.

You have finally arrived at your destination after what seemed like an endless amount of time spent walking there.

You made the decision to step back, but not too far away from them as you watched the blond hair traveler put his hand on the statue, and the power of anemo swirled around before touching him.

“Ooh! Did you just feel the elements of the world?”

“Seems like all you had to do was just touch the statue and you got the power of Anemo!”

“Quite handy, don’t you think? At least you won’t have to rely on visions.” You said as you sat down on the grass.

“Y/N is correct! As much as they may want it, people in this world can never get a hold of powers as easily as you...” Paimon explained as she crosses her arms.

Aether frowned slightly. “I think I know why, it's because...”

“Ah-ha, it's because you're not from this world to begin with.” Paimon replied nodding in agreement.

“Well, if you’re done, it’s time to go to the city.” You said before yawning boredly as you heard Paimon explaining things to Aether again. Spoken like a true floating compass indeed!

Aether paid close attention, making sure he understood all of the new information that he had just been given.

During the length of time that Paimon spent slowly explaining the details, you did not speak, and you did not interrupt her. You were only going along for the ride because you thought it would be fun, Paimon can be the guide for all you care.

The three of you had just made the decision to leave once more in order to travel to the city of Mondstadt when all of a sudden, a large dragon appeared in the skies above and began flying in the direction of the center of the forest.

“There’s something huge in the sky!" Paimon let out an exclamation as Aether, who was protecting his eyes from the brisk wind by covering them with his arm, hummed in response. 

"I'll take a look at it. Please, bring Aether to Mondstadt first, Paimon," You only gave them a quick look, but just seeing the concentration on your face was enough for them to agree and nod their heads.

You kept an eye on their rear ends as they moved further and further away from you, and it wasn't until you were no longer able to see them that you started to make your way towards the center of the forest, stopping to pick an apple from a tree along the way.

You approached the archon and the dragon stealthily, being careful not to make any noise with your steps and moving as quietly as possible. You used your flying abilities to get to the branch of the tree where Aether had been hiding during the cutscene, and then you sat there and watched the anemo archon take his sweet time trying to communicate with Dvalin.

"He's poisoned, it's pointless," You spoke but there were no sounds that came out of your mouth. The only thing that carried your message to the ears of the anemo archon was a light breeze.

Venti jerked his head in response to the recognizable voice that he heard in his head, which resulted in Dvalin being startled. The dragon let out a deafening roar, and the wind whipped around erratically in the areas surrounding it.

“Who’s there!?” While Dvalin was behaving erratically, Venti looked around. He would not continue to stay if he hadn't just heard a voice that sounded familiar just now; otherwise, he would have vanished at that very moment.

Dvalin let out one final roar before spreading his wings and making the decision to flee the area, leaving you and Venti behind in complete silence.

You heaved a sigh as you took another bite out of the apple that you had earlier plucked from the tree. Venti turned his head in the direction of the sound of the crunch to look in your position, and all you did in response to his keen observation was raise an eyebrow.

"Well, how are you doing today, Barbatos?" You said while giving him a friendly smile as you threw the apple with the bite taken out of it, which he caught with the right hand.

A puzzled expression appeared on Venti's face as he pondered how you are familiar with his name. You do not give the impression of being an enemy in any way, but you were not also an archon. Therefore, how are you able to know his name?

“Hum…” You hummed while resting your cheeks in your palm and tapping the side of your face lightly with your fingers, "When I first saw you, you were just a little elemental spirit. Quite adorable, if I may say so."

You found it very funny when Venti's face started to flush and he turned his head to the side to hide it; cute, you say?

“Do we know each other, my lady?”

“We haven’t really met formally but…” You stood up on the branch, smiling down at him with your bright expression. “Perhaps the wind will tell you of my identity, or is that even a thing? Haha!”

"I'll bring more apples next time, and maybe your bard friend and the other archons to accompany us!"

Venti gaped openly, "Bard friend? But he's..."

Your lively laughter was the last thing he had heard before you had vanished from your place, and now all that is left in his hand is an apple that has been munched on.

Venti stared at it for a moment before bringing the fruit up to his lips and biting it in the same spot on the apple that you had previously bit.

As Venti held the apple gently in his hands and licked his lips, he was aware that butterflies were fluttering around in the pit of his stomach.

He recalled how, back in those days, apples would all of a sudden appear in the sky and fall on top of his head. Due to the fact that he is only a small elemental spirit, he would fall to the ground along with the apple.

The fact that somebody is spending their time playing with him is another source of happiness for him, despite the fact that there were times when he would tumble right into the water.

He can't help but show a grin that tugs at his lips. It's possible that the two of you have been connected for an even longer period of time than the first friend he's made. Perhaps there was someone else there with him after all.

‘Sweet’ was the only word that came out of his mouth as he chewed slowly.

If you had stayed and watched the act, you would have been so horrified by it that you would have wanted to cringe. Hygiene is important!

Meanwhile on the other side, Amber screamed in surprise when you suddenly appeared in the sky and revived all of the hilichurls that they had just bombed. The most shocking of all is that the hilichurls suddenly turned into humans.

Somehow, you can feel that Lumine will chase you down soon.

honestly, because hoyo has a knack for killing npcs, I just want to go mad-rage and revive them like a madman. i kinda want to slap a fried egg on signora's ashes hehe. i also want makoto to come back to life and adopt my precious scara umu

[goodshipskypirate]

The Molekin people, as expected of small villages in a JRPG setting, are a bunch of morons. These people literally dig tunnels to maintain their wind factory to keep a lullaby going to prevent The Sleeper from waking up, and they actively shun the literal EARTH MAGIC USER. This motherfucker could make your jobs and lives ten times easier and you all chose to diss him.

I think what's incriminating about it is that Sea of Stars doesn't actively explain why he was an outcast other than being an outlier for having magic, something that seem celebratory for everyone in their world (the Molekin seem to have no issue with the Solar and Moon-based magic-users, Zale and Valere.) It's a conflict that doesn't have a lot of meat behind it. Were they scared he was going to overpower them? Did he accidentally use his abilities and caused something grievous in the village? Nah, he's just different.

Sea of Stars' current flaw is that its story is patently by-the-numbers. This is further reflected with its duo protagonists. Now I see why the game allowed you to interchange between Zale and Valere, they're the kind of main characters with all the personalities of a door knob. I figured if it was just only the one Main Character, they'd be the Silent Protagonist, but because they're two, it might have felt awkward if the both of them had kept their lips sealed the entire time. And I'm not saying bland protagonists make a story bad, as a million video games have proven otherwise, I'm just saying it's not really doing Sea of Star's generic plot any favors at the moment.

Indeed, Garl does most of the talking (a good portion of Zale and Valere's contributing dialogue consisting of the "..." text), which, so far, has been the best thing about this game. Very early into the game, Zale and Valere, having spent a decade in training shortly after Garl lost his eyes and unable to remain in contact with their friend, bemoans what's become of the latter. The game pulls a fast one on ya, because it implies something sinister occurred and Garl has been thoroughly corrupted.

Except that wasn't what happened: Garl never held any resentment. He trained, he learned to be a better chef, and whatever else he thought was necessary for him to be a better support for his friends. Garl has zero mean bones in his body and just loves that he gets to travel with his pals and see the world. And it's this lack of envy that boosts his positivity and self-assurance, making him the best choice to speak to Malkomud; who better to understand what it feels like to be useless and unworthy than Garl himself?

I think Garl's my favorite character so far, he is genuinely a ball of optimism and will never, ever get himself down, or put other people down. Love him for it. Two for you, Garl.

[cosmicjoke]

Levi and Zeke and the Question of Nature versus Nurture:

I just wanted to expound in a separate post upon a reply I just gave in my post about my problem with Zeke, as I think it sort of summarizes further what that is. 

Zeke professes that his actions are done in the name of mercy.  That his attempts to euthanize an entire race of people is done out of a desire to end their suffering.  But Zeke is a character that takes pleasure in the suffering of others.  There are numerous occasions in which we see this from him.  With Mike. With the soldiers in Shinganshina.  With Levi.  So what does that tell us?  What do people who defend Zeke’s actions as a product of his upbringing say to this?

Zeke was damaged by Mr. Ksavar, of course.  But Mr. Ksavar didn’t teach Zeke cruelty, and neither did his parents.  Mr. Ksavar, as misguided and deluded as he was, never taught Zeke that he should take pleasure in the suffering of others, and in fact imparted his philosophy to end suffering through extermination.  We could talk endlessly about how this shaped Zeke’s world view and how it dictated his later actions.  But I have a problem with this very conceit of Zeke’s actions deriving from a place of philosophical belief at all.  Because in spite of what he claims about wishing to end the suffering of others, this is contradicted by the fact that Zeke takes pleasure and satisfaction in the torment and suffering of others.  A fact which flies directly in the face of what he professes to be his goal.  I think this exposes Zeke as a liar and a hypocrite.  It essentially undermines the entire foundation of his claims, which is that his actions are done out of some benevolent, altruistic aim.  If he truly cared about preventing others from suffering the way he has, then why does he take such obvious and genuine pleasure in inflicting suffering?  Don’t try and tell me it’s all playacting and him trying to cope with his “pain”.  He’s needlessly cruel to his victims.  To Levi in particular.  He deliberately takes aim at whatever he knows will cause the most harm for each individual he targets, and openly revels in that harm.  With Levi, it was being placed in a position of having to kill his comrades, with Zeke even banking on the assumption that it would be so unbearable for Levi that he would let himself  be killed rather than defend himself.  I think this exposes Zeke’s entire claim of what his motivation to be as false.  I think it exposes Zeke’s actions as being dictated almost entirely by his own sense of ego and self-importance and narcissism.  He’s bitter and angry and feels unjustly wronged by both his father and the world, and so wants to take those angry and embittered feelings out on others.  He likes hurting others, but he needs to justify it to himself by claiming, both to himself and to others, that it’s because he really wants their suffering to end.  I think Zeke is a liar.  He lacks empathy for everyone and everything around him, and while he convinces himself that his actions are that of a merciful martyr, in truth, they’re entirely ego-driven and narcissistic, viewing himself in the light of the “chosen one”, highlighting his own suffering and sacrifice for the benefit of others, like when he kills Falco’s brother, and then uses Falco as a weapon.  Instead of showing any, genuine understanding of the cruelty of his actions here, he instead whines about how hard it is for HIM to do what he’s just done.  He has both a god-complex and a hero-complex, and expects others to acknowledge and understand his great sacrifices made for, supposedly, their sake’s, while bemoaning his great burden when no one does.  He thinks of himself as special, as uniquely qualified to solve the problems of the world, while at the same time he is completely unable to place himself into the shoes of others, to see things from their perspective or their emotional point of view.  

Meanwhile, Levi very much WAS taught that he should take pleasure in the suffering of others.  He was taught this by Kenny, a serial killer who murdered countless people for no reason other than personal satisfaction, who taught Levi to kill, not just to survive, but as a matter of course.  When he talks about teaching Levi how to “say hello”, he was talking about hurting and killing people just as a general mode of conduct, as the way one should operate in daily interactions with others.  Think about this.  I always laugh when people try to hold Kenny up as some sort of positive parental figure in Levi’s life versus Zeke’s supposed lack of positive parental figures, as if citing Kenny’s influence is some sort of “gotcha’” moment which proves Levi had some sort of privilege which Zeke lacked.  As if Kenny himself didn’t cause Levi immense harm by the way he raised him.  I can’t think of a worse role model growing up than a brutal and remorseless serial killer who’s sole lesson in life was that one is worthless if they aren’t strong, and by strong, specifically, meaning if one can’t kill.  But yeah, okay, Levi was so lucky to have Kenny. 

All of this is to say that Levi was being shown through constant example that the lives of others are worthless.  Some of his earliest lessons in life centered on being shown how worthless his and his mothers lives were to others.  How do people think Kuchel was treated in general, day to day?  Given the state of the room they were living in, the abject poverty and desperation apparent, and the fact that they were outcasts forced to live in the Underground, afforded no rights and no citizenship, I think the answer should be fairly obvious.  When his mother died from disease, no one even realized she was dead, or that Levi was starving to death.  So worthless was hers and Levi’s lives to others, that no one even thought to check on them for days and days, possibly weeks, to the point that Kuchel’s body was already half decomposed by the time Kenny came upon them.  Are we really meant to believe that Kuchel’s love alone was enough to counteract the horrific lessons Levi was being exposed to in terms of how the lives of others were treated and regarded?  Would his mothers love for him have been enough to nullify every other horrific experience he endured?  I don’t think so.  The same people that try to argue this will turn around and claim that the love of Zeke’s grandparents wasn’t enough to save him from what he became.  And yet Levi somehow turned out exactly the opposite of cruel or heartless, driven almost entirely by the need to protect life and make certain no one dies in vain.  

I point this all out for those who would argue that Zeke and Levi are entirely a product of their upbringings, and use that as some sort of defense of Zeke’s actions.  While each of them possesses qualities connected to how they were raised, obviously, they both also possess qualities not connected in any, clear way to how they were raised.  You can argue about how much Zeke’s and Levi’s philosophies are linked to their upbringings, but Zeke’s cruelty and Levi’s kindness aren’t products of their upbringings at all, imo, but rather, simply, their natures.  Levi’s kindness is in spite of how he was raised, and Zeke’s cruelty, in turn, is in spite of how he was raised.

[pleasantpirateturtle]

Blood Lust of Beasts Chapter 2

Fandom: Vampire Knight

Pairing: Kaname Kuran/Zero Kiriyu

Characters: Kiryu Zero, Kuran Kaname, Cross Yuki, Aido Hanabusa, Cross Kaien, Wakaba Sayori, Yagari Toga

Status: Ongoing

Chapter 1

The days passed much as they did in the Academy, mindlessly boring and awfully long. The weather had taken one look at Zero’s inner turmoil and said fuck you to you too; endless days of humid sunshine followed that terrible night, the accompanying breeze pitifully weak, and Zero felt the murderous rage within him boil over.

He made a habit of snarling at any unsuspecting victims who erred even slightly in his presence. It felt as if someone had pressed the on button for the jittery tenseness that followed him around like his own personal storming cloud and forgot to switch it off.

Yuki had done a blatant 180 degrees spin the second she spied him stomping in her general direction. In her defence, Zero had been particularly harsh when she’d dared take over his breakfast duties and nearly burned the whole kitchen down. It was a reoccurring happenstance, Zero learned to deal with it during that awful time when he’d had no other choice but to cohabit with two deranged humans. Dealing with it meant a disappointed sigh and an impromptu cleaning spree, not the screaming match that awoke Cross’ serious side – he had swept into the room decked out for a fight in an all-black outfit, long hair falling loosely over his shoulders only to pause in the doorway and stare at the pans raised high above their heads clutched like weapons. Cross rubbed his eyes, muttered something about never drinking with Yagari, and trotted back to his room.

It worked in his favour in a way because Yuki did not have the courage to bemoan his avoidance tactics; he skipped changeover duties enough times that Cross felt compelled to appoint Sayori as an honorary prefect. Sayori, a perfectly lovely girl by his standards, against a throng of crazy fan girls? She would turn into a wind chime, blown this and that way.

However, it seemed Yuki had had enough.

His duty, his little sister, the person he would not fail, not this time around, not like he had failed Ichiru. She stood over him, hands on her hips, a mighty scowl in place (she learned that from him, goddammit.)

“Zero Kiryu, you will get your lazy butt up this second or so help me I will find that secret stash of manga you think I don’t know about, and I will distribute it. Then I will insert a note in each book that will give up your identity and you will have no choice but to suffer the admiration of – “

Zero was up within seconds. He pressed his hand to her mouth to prevent other rubbish from escaping the airheaded mess. Honestly, she should have been born blonde, then Zero could have teased her with so many horrible references, just as he had teased Ichiru (never mind they were identical twins).

“Fine, but if I hear even a word – “

“Yes, yes, you will end me and all I hold dearest. But Zero, you cannot harm Mr Cat.”

She clasped her hand around his wrist, dragging him. Zero deliberately slowed down, Yuki grunted at the increased weight. She soldiered on, placing his arm over her shoulder for a better grip. Zero admired her grit, he really did, if only it had been directed at a more productive endeavour.

“He’s a cactus.”

Oh, almighty god, what terrible sin did he commit to have this nonsense in his life? He just wanted to kill vampires, was that too much? Perhaps taking on the duty of protecting one Yuki Cross had been his misstep.

“Zero you mustn’t judge.”

He sighed, long suffering. Somewhat done with this nonsense he slapped a hand over his face to shield his eyes from the world; if he can’t see it, it cannot see him either. Although, Zero still heard the buzzing conversations of the honeybees loitering outside the gates. If he had to rate the things he hated in life, then this aspect of his duties had to be at least third on the list. Above it, the second and first place would be staunchly taken over by Shizuka and Kuran. Maybe he should reserve a special place for Ichiru too – the backstabbing little bitch, he could have at least warned Zero he was going to let a bloodthirsty, crazy ass vampire into their home. If Yuki turned out anything like him, Zero would just say a giant fuck you to the world and hide his sorry ass in a hut in the middle of the woods.

Yuki patted his head, but Zero ignored the pinched mouth and creased eyes silently asking for his wellbeing. If she truly cared, she wouldn’t subject Zero to this hell.

The volume of the shrieks increased tenfold as they noticed not only his presence but the dramatic procession of vampires strolling out of the Moon dorms. Zero glared at his side made up of screaming, overly excited, sexually frustrated girls; blissful silence fell over them.

“If I hear as much as a peep from any of you, I will gladly inform you that I’m hosting school wide detention camps.”

Not even the day students have been spared from Zero’s ire. They looked down or over his shoulder nervously, shuffling in place but not daring anything that could enrage Zero. He smiled. Tilting his head to indicate the other side of the path, where Yuki’s charges were making nuisances of themselves, the girls quickly caught his meaning and laboured to shush their counterparts.

The vampires glanced around either side at the morose girls but did not comment. Hanabusa Aidou couldn’t count, he was a waste of brain cells.

Zero hoped against all odds that Kuran would be absent. He was not. In fact, to his growing horror, he had stopped to chat with Yuki, who blushed bashfully (what the fuck). Sometimes, when he really looked, Yuki transformed from the cute little sister he had raised with an iron fist to one of the many girls idolizing Kuran. She lost herself in him in a way that terrified Zero and he was helpless to it.

The girls were filtering out, most of the night class had gone too. Zero could not use them as a shield! If he were to leave now, it would be too obvious that he had in a way been evading the pureblood. Avoiding his gaze would do - Zero wouldn’t have to acknowledge him, Yuki’s admonishments be dammed.

He turned his head, using his hair to cover his eyes. Kuran’s light footsteps were too close for comfort – Zero had the sinking feeling that he was heading for him. But he only passed by, closer than expected, yes, still he kept walking. Zero could practically feel his eyes burn a hole into him. He dared a peek, the vampire’s head was turned, his brandy brown eyes dissecting Zero with the careful inspection of a serial killer. Zero blanched.

His pride can eat shit!

Zero power walked, the quicker the better.

“Kiryu.”

Zero sped up.

“Kiryu,” his tone hardened.

Zero was close to sprinting. Just give him another damn minute.

“Kiryu, if you do not stop – “

He’ll start at the border to patrol the perimeter of the academy, better there where the chances of bumping into nefarious vampires – oh look a lovely vampire! Kuran had followed him. Zero glared at the hand wrapped around his wrist pointedly. Kuran did not get the hint. He used the sudden momentum of swinging Zero around to pull him in, too close for a public venue.

“For once in your life Kuran, leave me alone.”

“People are watching,” Kuran hissed.

He pushed past Zero’s boundaries, within his very actions a mask to hide as much of their conflict as possible. His nose almost brushed Zero’s cheek.

“Just fuck off,” Zero snarled.

Kuran seemed to take that as an invitation to further invade his space, his cold breath caressing the skin under his jaw. Zero turned his head to the side, hoping to increase the distance but the vampire just slotted into the empty space, his breathing a heady thing in his ear. Zero pushed at Kuran’s chest.

“Like you said, people are watching. Let me go.”

This day was becoming a surreal nightmare, or a practice in patience. Whichever it was Zero was so done with it. He was tired of Kuran and his bullshit.

Zero jerked his arm, Kuran strengthened his grip; like a tango, one written by a fucking teenager. He took a step back, opening his stance, it gave the impression of a wider space between them. In a way it worked to avoid the suspicious eyes following their movements. This was a terrible place to have this sort of confrontation. Even Yuki was watching them intently.

“You are avoiding me.”

Zero whipped his head around, brows furrowing, he could feel a headache building underneath the bridge of his nose. He scowled. Fucking Kuran.

“Given the situation last time, yes I thought that was a normal reaction,” Zero said, voice lowered but still loud enough that at least a couple of his inner circle did a double take.

“Do not make a repeat of it, you have a duty to fulfil.”

Kuran’s thumb rubbed gently over the blue veins showing on his pale wrist. Zero startled, a curse dying swiftly as the pureblood crushed it until bones creaked and the skin turned a deathly pale. Before he could find the right words to hurl at him, Kuran swiveled away, his inner circle trailing after him like puppies. He ignored the obvious stares they kept throwing over their shoulders; if they had questions they could very well ask their lord.

Fucking Kuran.

[mysterycharacterbracket]

Poll #66

Character 196: She's an AI who masquerades as a human superhero who build giant dragon robots to keep people safe. The big source of pathos for her is that she genuinely wants to do good things, but her creator left a lot of restraints in her that force her to do it and sometimes prevent her from doing the right thing. Plus a self-righteous jerk is breathing down her neck with a killswitch she physically can't know about. It's sad because she is the most heroic character in the setting.

Character 197: An anxious teenage boy, he has trouble coming out of his shell at first. He gets a crush on another boy who inspires him, but he's too nervous to talk with him for long and runs off. After bemoaning ruining his chance to his friend, she tries to help wingman them together. A series of misunderstandings ensue, but he ends up working together with his crush on an original project. He gets more confidence in himself, to the point he's partying with his guy friends and dragging his crush-turned-partner by the hand to go to gym class.

Character 198: He is a posh shithead. He is conceited and snooty and proud. But he is incompetent and dumb enough that it’s kind of endearing. He tries to play the hero, and he does help. But it’s more that other people use his resources or play off of him to help. He goes from a minor antagonist to a bit of a comic relief hero, and despite everything, he is impossible to hate.

[queen-vessaraia-ashlynne]

This is so interesting! For the most part, @insomniac-arrest is right; tragedies are tragedies because the main character hides their flaw (or something similar), and through hiding it, it eventually causes the main character's downfall (think King Lear).

Yet, there is essentially another "brand" of tragedy too, which is basically summed up by the idea that Fate is a big bad villain actively conspiring against our hero(es). Take Romeo & Juliet, for example. We all know how it ends, and it is arguably Shakespeare's most famous tragedy. But do either of the eponymous characters ever really try to be someone else?

On a surface level, yes. Juliet literally says "... Wherefore [why] art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet". This is said in Act Two, Scene Two, during what is possibly the most famous scene of the play (yes, even more famous than their deaths): the so-called Balcony Scene.

Yet Juliet is not trying to be a different person herself, exactly - she is effectively bemoaning the fact that their names (not their characters, but their names) prevent them from being openly in love/together. For @insomniac-arrest 's point to entirely work, they would have to hide their true characters.

Could we get into semantics? Absolutely - it could be argued, for example, that Juliet does hide her true self, especially in the scenes framing Tybalt's death and her death scene. (I'm looking particularly at her behaviour towards her parents and Paris - Paris could be a whole other thing I could talk at length about - and, to a lesser extent, towards the nurse. One might argue that the Friar is the only one that she is being frank with at this point: "Behold! 'Twixt my extremes and me this bloody knife shall play the umpire" from Act Four, Scene One.)

And yes, whilst this argument would make sense - Romeo and Juliet both died out of love, after all, and from trying to hide that love from the world - I would counter by asking if they ever fit the profile. They never attempted to hide their love from themselves, even from the very first. Juliet was hesitant, yes, but that was largely due to her upbringing, and in the next scene they appear in together (so from Act One, Scene Five to Act Two, Scene Two) Juliet has lost most of this reserve, whilst retaining more of an ability to be practical about their situation (than Romeo, at least). But, they never pretended it wasn't there, and actually did the opposite in acting solely out of an attempt to display that love freely. Does this not prove a tragedy can be different to the rules laid out above?

If you're not convinced, I shall invoke Undine, the German fairy-tale. In the story, the main character, Undine, is a water spirit, and after falling in love with the knight Huldbrand, they marry (in the process of which Undine gains a soul). Events occur, and Huldbrand mistreats Undine, causing her to be whisked away by her water spirit relations. Huldbrand, in spite of multiple warnings that he should not, remarries this other girl, thus causing Undine to kill him. She has no desire to do this, but it is part of the magic I suppose, and she cries throughout the whole ordeal before transforming into a river around his grave so that they might be together forever. Easy to see that it's a tragedy, right?!

Anyway, in Undine there is no "Fate" character. The tragedy largely springs from the fact that Huldbrand and this other girl make eyes at each other and then get married; Undine herself is not to blame. At no point in the story are attempts at concealing characters' characters made. "What? So Undine tells Huldbrand that she's a water spirit immediately?" Well, no, but she doesn't alter her behaviour - and I believe these rules regard behaviour as the telling thing, here.

This is partially why I love the story of Undine so much - there is no Big Bad Fate, and any of the characters were free to make another decision at any point which may have entirely changed their story. In getting what they wanted, and all of the three primary characters (who I have mentioned) do get what they wanted, they cause their own demise. It's so poetic! And tragic, but it is still poetic!

Well, that's it from me for now, folks. Thank you @insomniac-arrest for the lovely spring board (and, please, everyone - in most instances, this rule is amazing for defining tragedies. You can't often go wrong with it, and I did not mean to imply or suggest otherwise), and thank you @ten-cent-sleuth for tagging me!!

The first rule of tragedy is to be yourself. The second of rule of tragedy is to be literally anyone else. The third rule is that however much you try, there is no escaping being yourself forever.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Early Mornings

This is for my dear friend @medusas-hairband..a character I've never written before, so please, be lenient with me <3

Words: 1,2k

Characters: Beorn x reader

Warnings: none

Beorn set down the dripping pot of honey with a low grunt that you knew to be an expression of his desire for a reaction rather than a comment on the weight of the humongous receptacle. 

“Hello, my love,” you purred, pressing a kiss – your lips still chilly from the cold outside – onto his furry cheek; you would have thanked him more effusively, but you knew that he’d just as soon feel your gratitude.

Raking your nails along his nape, you witnessed the blossoming of the hesitant smile that was a clear indication of the happiness he wouldn’t readily verbalise, and your own heart warmed at the sight of his fluttering lids and stilling hands.

What a tremendous, beautiful, and slightly frightening power it was to hold this impressive being in the palm of your hand, a thousand invisible tendrils of heartstrings and thoughts coiled around your fingers so tightly that – if you were to clench your fist too abruptly – you could wound him in ways unfathomed and awful.

Today, you were expecting friends and acquaintances for a late spring celebration, and you had promised to make your famed honey-cakes – one batch for your guests and one for your beloved – hence why you had been up even before the sun had risen on this beautiful day.

Upon waking though, you had already found your bed deserted and the comforting, warm presence by your side gone; not a man of many words, Beorn often preferred showing you how much he loved both you and your skills. Hence why – without losing a single syllable about it – he had gone out to make sure you had all the ingredients you’d need readily available.

Truth be told though, you would never have perfected this recipe without him and – despite being so huge that he frightened many a stranger – your husband flowed around you like water, never standing in your way and handing you tools and bowls without hesitation.

After years of being by your side, Beorn knew every step of the procedure by heart and so he – usually so lumbering and intimidatingly stoic – danced around you in perfect synchronicity.

It never ceased to amaze you how light-footed he could be, his strong arms reaching around you gracefully to retrieve sugar and flour from the high shelves he had built with his own two hands long years ago.

“Here,” he muttered, handing you another spoon, as he knew full well that you had already tossed the last one into the sink without remembering that there were yet ingredients to be measured out. 

This one was your favourite; Beorn had carved it for you according to your exact specifications to measure out sugar and honey, and you only ever cleaned it with a damp cloth to prevent the wood from cracking and splitting due to excessive exposure to water.

“Can you help stir?” you asked sweetly, but your husband merely cocked an eyebrow at you, wriggling the tiny pot containing a rare spice you loved; you always bemoaned having forgotten to sprinkle a dash into the dough whenever you prepared the cake alone and – as he was by your side this time – Beorn tried to spare you the minute disappointment that dampened your enjoyment of your own creation.

“Ah yes,” you cheered. As you made to grab the container though, his hand shot up forcefully, effectively putting it out of reach.

“A kiss,” he demanded in a low rumble that sounded much more severe than it was.

“Oh? And here I was believing you were helping me for free because you love me so,” you replied in mock vexation while your arms already snaked around his sturdy neck, “you drive a hard bargain, Sir.”

You were able to keep a straight face for another few heartbeats before your expression melted into fond amusement and you nuzzled his cheek lovingly; the kiss – teasing and sweetened by the honey you had licked off the last spoon – you pressed onto his lips spoke of all the deep devotion that ran between you like a timeless river. 

There had never been much need for great declarations and passionate speeches, not when his calm, reliable presence and his strong arms were so eloquent and telling.

Beorn’s massive paw cradled your slender hand, placing the spice in it like the treasure it was even as his own mouth curled into a mischievous grin; contrary to the common conception, he was a creature of great humour whose laughter was roaring and joyful enough to make the beams of your little house tremble.

Laughing under your breath, you added a smidgeon of golden spice and leaned back into his broad chest when his arms encircled you to help you stir – as you had asked him to – by closing his hand around yours once more and pushing the thick, wooden ladle through the dense, fragrant dough together with you.

By this time, you were humming a happy tune, safe and comfortable in the arms of your beloved who pressed small kisses onto the top of your head, each one of them an admission of pride, love, and support, as you poured your marvellous concoction into the greased mould.

“Oi, down you,” your husband hissed softly and, when you turned around to stoke the fire under the oven, you found Beorn covered in small critters – eager to see what you were doing and hopefully snatch a bite – which he carefully, but not without determination, tried to wrangle without you noticing.

Moreover, the fire was already blazing merrily, and the oven was ready to welcome the fruit of your labours. As your hands were occupied, you just pressed your cheek against his torso to let him know how much you appreciated all he did for you and the warm smile of gratitude he offered you in reply almost made you drop your unbaked cake because you so longed to hug him tightly.

Times were hard, you were the first to admit it, but – in moments like the one that melted into syrupy bliss between your flour-coated fingers – it seemed bright and marvellous to you; whenever it was just the two of you – alone without ever being lonely – you could believe again that this world was worth fighting for, Beorn and the sweet companionship you shared convinced you of the immeasurable merit of all that stood to be lost.

Beorn finally shook off his insistent friends and handled the transfer into the hot oven himself while you dusted off your hands absent-mindedly; the slow, careful grin of complicity and trust he gave you over his left shoulder made your heart throb with longing though and a devious idea came to you.

“Say husband,” you purred, “we shall be confined to this hut for the next hour or so. What say you to returning to bed as we wait for the cake to be done?”

His eyebrows rose in surprise and then his warm, broad hands closed around your waist and lifted you into his arms effortlessly.

“That,” he murmured as he pressed his face into the side of your throat, “sounds like a very good idea.”

So, that's all the requests for this weekend...

Sorry for the delay, life has been crazy lately and this week will be hell :(((

I hope you liked this my dear, if not, let me try again next week :D

Lots of love ❤️

[unit-zero-two]

I read the first two Chapters of MtG’s new Brother’s War story. They’re well written and I like how it shows the slow but inevitable fall of the world of “The Brother’s War” into “The Gathering Dark”. I always love more Kayla, and the expansion and exploration of her own discovery of how to cast magic was cool. The story seemed to forget that she was in fact Queen of Kroog for a bit, always using Princess to refer to that period, but whatever. It made her Queen of Penregon and I liked how she faced off against the beginnings of the Church of Tal. The story and characters are very bitter and tired, and they have every reason to be. Their world has ended. I liked Tawnos’ ultimate fate, he’s a good egg. There’s a good understanding of the events of “The Brother’s War” and how that later becomes The Ice Age novels.

That said, I’m a little more skeptical of some of the characterization, mostly in reference to one particular thing. I recently reread the “Brother’s War” and these two chapters so far are very critical of Urza. And don’t get me wrong, Urza deserves to be put through a critical lens, dissected and brought to judgement. But these chapters feel like they don’t realize that’s been every other story in Magic’s history, including “The Brother’s War”. rereading the novel the thing that struck me is how no one is portrayed as perfect or infallible. In some way, every person in the novel is flawed and their likability is in spite of this. Urza is no exception.

But what might be easy to forget in this modern era far removed from Urza’s relevance in the story of Magic is that Urza the Man and Urza the Planeswalker are very different people. If you’ve only heard people talk about Urza Planeswalker excitedly but never read the novels he’s in, let me assure you that’ they’re never not critical of him or slagging off on him. No one in universe really likes Urza. At best they need him since he’s the only one for a long time who even considers the Phyrexians a threat. And his being right is never portrayed as vindication of his character. His character is metaphorically torn to shreds every step of the way, right until the end.

Urza the Man is very similar in how critical the narrative is of him, but he’s not quite the monster of Urza Planeswalker. There’s a particular line in the new chapters where Tawnos thinks, “Urza only designed machines for War“, and that’s ahistorical to Urza. He resisted turning his machines to war. The first time they were it was without his knowledge. He created flying machines for scouting, necklaces for healing and protection, machines to lift and carry heavy loads. If he’d had his way, he would never have built a machine for war. And he was actively disgusted by the thought of war and the lost of people and the plundering of the land that came from it. He only really started to make machines of war because of the fall of Kroog to Mishra’s forces. He vowed to never let something like that happen again.

Of course Urza fails and becomes one of two sides of a war machine that grinds the world to bits. That’s a failing he constantly bemoans being too weak to prevent. Urza was his own biggest critic right up until the end. His last words to Tawnos basically boiled down to “I was wrong”, although said in many more words. These first two chapters seem to remember Urza Planeswalker and resent the implication of Urza the man. That it absolves Kayla of encouraging Urza to build machines to avenge her father. To defend her nation. Urza is not a perfect person, and in universe the bitterness is well deserved. But as readers it’s not so clear cut. And reading these two chapters I was frustrated by how staunchly they refused to recognize Urza the Man by the people who actually knew him. I get it, I just don’t agree. If the narrative relents a bit and takes a more sympathetic or nuanced take on him later then I’ll feel much better about these chapters, but right now I’m just a little frustrated.

Maybe that too will come to pass. We’ll see.

[cto10121]

R&J Clown Takes Round ♾ + Part 10

In which I got a truly deranged Instagram reel from the depths of the algorithm, ranting about how R&J are totes not a love story. Thus rampant clownage ensued. And so: Once more unto the breach, my good friends.

BFFs With Shakespeare

Clown OP knows this because they have drinks every Sunday with Shakespeare, Ben Jonson, John Fletcher, and all of dem cats down at the Dolphin. It’s a great hub. Clown OP is the one who has to hold Jonson back when Shakespeare starts roasting him.

And true, Will is always bemoaning about teen girls chasing after boys constantly—that’s why he wrote so many happy romantic comedies about teen girls doing just that and getting their heart’s desire. He just hated it that much.

Clown OP 2 is also good friends with Will, and heard this straight from his lips. It was a typical evening at the Dolphin in 1594 and Shakespeare was in a rant about Arthur Brooke’s narrative poem about R&J and how his canon sucks and that actually, R&J are truly in love and their end was truly tragic and he WILL PROVE IT. Only Clown OP 2 misheard “tragic” for “basic” and thought Shakespeare was casting shade about his own adaptation. Clown OP 1 also didn’t hear it, as they were too busy trying to prevent Ben Jonson from dueling Fletcher.

Romeo the Death Eater

Romeo forced Tybalt to seek him out and try to duel him, he forced Mercutio duel Tybalt, and of course he forced Juliet to take her life from beyond the grave. Everything is Romeo’s fault because it certainly isn’t Tybalt’s. They’ve stopped teaching cause and effect relationships in school, haven’t they?

Creepy Italian Groomer is back! I was starting to miss thee. It’s been awhile. How’s it been? Still intellectually bankrupt, I see. No, I will not lend thee money.

Let me help you out, OP. “Shall I hear more or shall I speak of this?” “Shall I move forward when my heart is here?” “I am too bold; ‘tis not to me she speaks.” Textual evidence for his ADHD, clearly.

Juliet tells some equivocating half-truths and suddenly she is a criminal mastermind. As for the lost puppy, I dare you to tell Juliet that to her face. Homegirl compares Romeo to a very different and sexy animal altogether.

Cool fanfic, bruh. Really liked your prostitute OC. That scene where she breaks up with Romeo in the afternoon was heartbreaking.

Both Sides!1!!1!1

A lot of word vomit here. But okay, OP. I’ll bite and take you seriously.

Is Shakespeare trying to make a point about the stupidity of both sides, the youths and the older generations? Is the satire truly equal on both sides?

Well, no. While there is no character that is truly without flaws (because this is Shakespeare, after all) the youths definitely get a way more sympathetic edge from the narrative in a way that their parents don’t. R&J are the beating and living heart of this play, dynamic and intricately developed, Mercutio is downright luminous with the right actor, Benvolio is just straight up too good for this world, and even Tybalt gets some baller lines and fiery speeches—he’s so much fun to play, and plus, his death actually has weight in the narrative.

The parents…not so much. While the Friar and even the Nurse have moments of adult wisdom, the Capulets are pure dysfunction. The Montague parents are much nicer but just simply…there. When the Capulets mourn Juliet, it’s written as a cacophony, almost garishly insincere in its repetition. I don’t think that’s an adequate parallel with R&J’s moments of despair. Even there the lovers are eloquent, even rhetorical: Of course I’m upset because of X and Y!!! There is rationale even if their emotions are too much. I think it’s clear which side got the most satire.

And that’s why Shakespeare wrote R&J falling in love with each other when they don’t even know each other’s names and already be at 110% in their love (Juliet: “If he be marrièd / My grave is like to be my wedding bed”). To illustrate this exact point.

The Quiet Part

Shh, OP! You’re not supposed to say the quiet part aloud. Number one rule of clownery and you broke it.

[cckeck]

This movie is one of the movies with a schizophrenic character, which I got out from the Austin Public Library, recently.

This is a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which won a variety of different awards, when it first came out in 1986, such as five Emmys, two Golden Globes, a Peabody Award, a Christopher Award, and the Humanitas Prize.

(I wish I could get a better GIF set to comment upon, which shows the characters of the movie, and the most significant scenes, but this was the only one I found.)

This is a movie about a narcissistic older brother, named Bob, whom, briefly, attempts to keep a promise he made to their mother many times, before she died, which was that he would take care of his younger brother, D. J., whom has had schizophrenia for thirty years.

Bob is not a good brother, or a good person. Before their mother died, Bob fled the reality of D. J.'s schizophrenia, and largely wrote off his brother, visiting only ten times in thirty years.

He doesn't seem to understand much about the mental illness that his younger brother has, and he is not keen to educate himself, let alone other people. He is no advocate for his brother, whom has been so stunted by his family and his SZ, that he has never had a job, a car, or a serious romantic relationship; he is first seen being patronized by an older woman, whom treats him like a child, calling him "boy," and reminding him to take his meds.

-

Bob tells people "my brother, he's crazy," repeatedly.

-

D. J. is disdainful of Bob, and this is understandable. Bob has not been a good brother to him, and D. J. knows this.

-

While waiting for his brother to pick him up, after their mother's death, D. J., anxiously, goes through a good number of cigarettes. Was Bob late?

-

Bob is embarrassed by his younger brother's schizophrenia, and when D. J. is openly unwell in front of others, he is bad at dealing with it.

-

D. J. has some OCD tendencies, which prevent him from being able to enjoy eating out at a diner, because he needs to wash his hands a certain amount of times, before he eats, and he doesn't want to use the bathroom in the diner.

This seemed unrealistic to me. Why not just go do his hand washing ritual, there?

-

It is unclear why D. J. wasn't motivated to aim for more in life than he had been allowed, until around the end of the movie. He could have tried to get a job long ago, (move to the city, or get a job with a friend of Bob's, or, his mother), and, then, get a car, and try to live alone.

Maybe, he could have tried dating, also, once he achieved some financial security, and the mental benefits, which come with this.

However, it isn't until he is out in nature, recalling his childhood with Bob, that he thinks of trying to get a job, and live a more normal life.

In response to D. J.'s sudden interest in living a more normal life, Bob asks him, if he is taking his pills.

💩

-

Bob is unhappy to date just one woman, but seems to date two, whom are shown. One of them, Annie is more his age, while the other woman, is decades younger.

D. J. is appalled by this, and ruins a dinner that Bob has with him and Annie, due to his outrage about it. This leaves Bob with a mess to clean up, later.

I think Annie brought D. J. a birthday cake.

(Bob got upset about D. J. giving his own jacket to an alcoholic in the park named Milton. Is Milton homeless?

Why is Bob upset about this?)

-

Annie says that D. J. used to be very popular with all the girls at school, because he was "so cute," and he had a motorcycle, also, which he was particularly good with.

D. J. had a bright future ahead of him, until he developed schizophrenia.

Was Bob ever jealous of him, before the SZ?

-

Bob claimed that he joined the Navy to escape D. J., and his mental illness.

He bemoans the fact that his brother hadn't killed himself, before their mother died, or been hospitalized, before then, as this means he is forced to take care of him. He views D. J. as a horrible burden.

-

Frame of reference delusions are spoken about a bit by D. J., in one scene.

These involve him believing that, sometimes, there are messages directed at him, personally, in the ads in the TV. He claims that he feels pressure to buy things to prevent something bad from occurring.

He mentions auditories, in this scene, too.

He claims that he hears people say things about him, when he is in crowds. That they plan to kill him. It is possible that someone arranges for random people to say things for him to hear to mess with his head; I deal with this, personally.

-

D.J. is a Hindu. This illness, when one believes in Karma, is ascribed to some unknown bad deeds, in a forgotten past life; therefore, his fate is somehow deserved.

But, D. J. wants to believe in reincarnation, because he doesn't want to believe that the life he has been given is all that he will get.

-

(I went through religious delusions in the first two years of my schizophrenia, and I ruled out Hinduism as an option for me, in the first year, due to this. Zoroastrianism, I ruled out, then, also, as I disliked the black-and-white thinking involved, as this made it seem like a narcissistic religion; it, also, seemed too hedonistic, for my taste.

I found myself averse to Jewish religious texts, although I ordered texts for all three Abrahamic religions in a book buying binge, after I quit my job.

The Bible seemed evil, and I found the Qur'an most agreeable to me, but there was an odd pressure to covert, quickly, which I disliked, also.

In the end, I settled upon Agnosticism, mostly, unwilling to commit to a religion, as such.)

-

Bob buys and resells houses for a living. This sounds like a job he could get D. J. into, but Bob never considers this option.

Bob, also, could have been a good brother, and left his brother their mother's house, since Bob already has, at least, one, and is more able to support himself than D. J.

Bob sold the house, it seems, without consulting D. J., at the end of the movie.

-

D. J. does odd things, like dig up the backyard, which upset Bob.

D. J. claims that he had wanted the vegetables.

-

D. J. means "Dishonest John," and this nickname was given to him, because he used to imitate the laugh of a villain, whom had this name. His real name is Paul.

This is a horrible nickname.

It says a lot about the dynamic in this family that he was ever given this nickname, at all.

Was their father a narcissist, whom chose Bob as the Golden Child, while Paul was the Unfavorite/Scapegoat?

-

(I have put this movie in three times or so, because I keep on having cognitive issues, while watching, which causes me to become inattentive, and unable to recall certain details clearly.

This happens with some movies, since I developed schizophrenia, but not all.)

-

There is an unrealistic episode, after D. J. recalls their childhood, during which D. J. claims that he is "King" of his castle, and that he wants the women that Bob is dating for himself.

Is this something that Bob fears?

He gives up on D. J., after this incident.

Why does this incident occur, at all? He seemed fine in the scene, before, and hopeful, too.

(This might be the most unrealistic scene in the movie.)

-

Bob, then, gets D. J. hospitalized, pretends he was afraid to Annie, and receives sympathy from her.

He claims that D. J. is, now, "worse than he has ever been," after he had spoken hopefully about the future.

Did he have a manic episode? I was most reminded of one of these, honestly.

-

(I am jumping around, but this is fine, as it is not necessary for me to recount impressions, and scenes, in chronological order.)

-

Once, D. J. walks in on Bob with his younger girlfriend, and she acts weirdly traumatized by this. Most people would laugh it off, and, maybe, be a bit embarrassed, but they wouldn't act like this woman.

Bob snaps at him for this, and D. J. says that Bob is "like an animal," whom was too cowardly to be a good son to their mother (or a good brother to him), and that Bob only does what feels "good."

D. J. might have inflicted a narcissistic injury, when he told Bob that he was old, and getting fat, and that his behavior doesn't work anymore.

-

D. J. had a catatonic episode, after a fight with his brother.

(I have never had one of these. I don't think they occur simply because one gets upset though.)

The psychiatrist tells Bob to "expect nothing," regarding D. J.'s schizophrenia. He seems to allude to "anosognosia," also, without actually using the term.

This psychiatrist is not helpful. They should have sought a new one.

-

My assumption is that most schizophrenics are less disruptive than D. J. is in this movie.

I am less disruptive. I mostly mind my own business, and, although my symptoms become evident to observers, sometimes, they are rarely ever disruptive to the extent of D. J.'s episodes.

I am pretty low maintenance.

I would not dig up the flower bed, ruin the dinner, or declare that I wanted to get with whomever my sibling was dating.

I do not have catatonic episodes.

On rare occasions, I scream at home, mostly, when alone in my room.

---

I didn't like this movie, but I want to summarize it, here, so that I don't have to watch it, again.

--

This movie is better at portraying schizophrenia than 12 Monkeys is.

In 12 Monkeys, I became convinced that the schizophrenic character was faking his illness. I don't get that sense in Promise, however. So, that is something.

Promise (1986). dir. Glenn Jordan

[dirtydragonthoughts]

Rise of the Decepticons: Swindle's (IDW2 Issue 20 Review)

Pitch: If you're looking for something in Cybertron's black market, your best bet is almost inevitably Swindle's, an illegal den of contraband energon, skitter racing, and more. It's great for those looking for a way to get their hands on weapons and supplies, and greater still for the Security Operatives who know what's going on and are about to start a raid...

Review

Last issue I was hoping for something a little more character-focused. This issue sort of gave us that, by pretty much sticking with happenings occurring around Prowl for the whole story. I really did appreciate that, and it felt like a much more cohesive issue than the last one.

Also, there was a lot of action, so that helped a ton!

The issue starts with Prowl bemoaning all of Security's (and his own) failures to prevent people from getting hurt or killed. To that end, he and Nightbeat take steps to secure a Rise member for questioning. Of course, the Risers aren't going to go quietly, so there is a lot of action in this issue!

This issue also presented a bit of a controversy when it came out, specifically because of Prowl's interrogation tactics (mirroring police brutality that was in the news when this issue came out) and because of some of the signs in a crowd scene. TFWiki has a rundown of the responses from Ruckley, Malkova, and Mariotte, but basically: no direct parallels to George Floyd's murder were intended in the writing or art, and the issue had been ready for print months before the protests happened.

That aside, I think it was a good, focused issue that gave us a beginning, middle and end. This is something that I think has been missing from lots of the mainline issues.

There's a ton of world building stuff in this issue, so let's get started!

Favourite Panel

Prowl chilling, watching TV with his pet on his shoulder, was everything I needed.

Culture

Cybertron has its own version of tabloid journalism in the form of Andromeda. I could practically hear her fast-patter voice when I read her dialogue.

When Prowl greets Nightbeat we get another palm-press. I love this detail and I will continue to point it out.

In a great page halfway through the issue, we get a full view of Swindle's skitter-racing track, which seems to be a lot like dog racing. Skitters (little rodent-y creatures) are released to race along a track, and people can bet on which one will win. There's an implication that this isn't completely legal.

Definitely described as not legal are the "sealed multiworld" simulations. (We see an example of one in another issue, but it's basically your own personal virtual reality game.)

Again, we see lots of examples of graffiti, both on city walls (where it's political statements) and inside Swindle's (where it's things like 'Vortex Rulez.')

Planet

Green (Prowl has absolutely zero imagination when it comes to naming pets) the flyt was hatched from an egg that was hanging from Leviathan. Apparently that's a regular thing.

Also, the fact that Prowl paid for a pet tickles me. He's not all hardened meanness.

Physiology

Intoxicants mentioned in this issue include engex, k-juice, syk, and nucleon. It's interesting that nucleon was also the fuel that will end up mode-locking you if you consume too much of it.

Just like Road Rage, Bumper isn't a fan of using internal comms. In fact, as soon as things start happening he switches to speaking out loud, which might be what gives him away to the Rise.

Prowl explains Mindwipe's mind control ability as "data-loaded pan-spectral light pulses." Interesting! All you have to do is look into his eyes and he can make you do things. Swindle must be aware of this, because he's very careful not to look directly at Mindwipe.

Politics and History

Prowl and Nightbeat were colleagues in Praxus before coming to Iacon.

Hound is incredibly dismissive of Sideswipe's wish to be part of his team. It's been established that Hound was a solider in the War for the Threefold Spark, while Sideswipe was forged after the war. Hound's point of "the ones who go chasing for the hottest part of the fight aren't always the ones who do best when they do find it" will prove to be prophetic. (Yes, spoilers.)

Final Thoughts

I liked the focus on one story line in this issue; I really wish we'd seen more of that through the series. A series of flashbacks showed other things that were happening around Cybertron, and gave a sense to the escalating tensions. There is a lot going on, but using that technique let you see the escalation without having to be there for every single incident.

Overall, a solid issue!

👍

[cyberfairyblog]

Why Jillian Sucks

Hi, welcome to Odyssey Mystery Hour! I'm your host @gritsandbrits and today I'll be talking about a hot topic in the AIO fandom! Wanna know the tea? Keep on reading!

In the weeks I started getting back into the radio series, the newer episodes have started to irk me, mostly because of one of the more annoying additions: Jillian. Marshall. 😬😬😬

Even though I ship Jason with my self insert OC this not going to be about her. There's a lot of reasons why I do NOT like the idea of Jillian x Jason becoming a canon thing on the show. I hope to describe these feelings as best I can.

Who is Jillian you might ask?

Well to put it simply, Jillian is what happens when a Soccer Mom and a TikTok boyfriend mate and spawn an unholy baby and name them Rachel Berry. Out of the aspects of Nu!Odyssey I dislike, Jillian is the one thing I truly despise. Thankfully I've met fans who share the exact sentiment! 😁😒

Double-N Annoying, Double-O Nincompoop

Making her debut in 2018, Jillian is described as lively and upbeat, if a little high strung and immature; the perfect recipe for Kid Appeal! Before she moved to Odyssey she lived in different cities and worked nineteen jobs before becoming roommates with Connie and her sister Jules.

Now this is actually a fairly interesting set up: a new character struggling to find purpose only to discover it in a quaint small town. But as it turns out her going through that many jobs seems to be more than just struggling to find purpose.

When I first saw her design my thought immediately went to the smarmy classmates I went to school with.

We're introduced with this iconic line: "Hi!! I'm Jillian Marshall, double-L Jillian, double-L Marshall! It's so nice to meet you!"

With that one sentence I knew I was about to die.

The following episode has Jillian bumbling through every job interview much to Connie's duress after which she conveniently ending up working at Triple J Antiques...the same place Jason works!

A little backstory on Jason: he is the adult son of John Whittaker, one of the show's main character, and a bit of an Ensemble Darkhorse. He was introduced as a secret agent meant to bring action and intrigue into the show. He was set up as a charismatic and reckless sort of guy clashing with the calmer Jack Allen. After the Green Ring Conspiracy Saga, Jason officially retired from James Bonding and settled down to work at the Allen's antique shop.

Given his immense popularity there's understandable concern for how he is written and who he gets paired up with. So what does that have to do with Jillian.

Well, the idea of Jillian working at the same exact place as Odyssey's resident bachelor and calling him cute raises a few eyebrows.

"B-but Grits all she did was call him cute! You're reaching too far into this!"

Am I? Look I know this wouldn't be much of a big deal too but that is a subtle tactic the writers threw in to get the cogs turning for Jillison. Jason is clearly uninterested and even implied to dislike her. Jillian bemoans this but Connie reassures her that that's not the case. But hey at least she called him cute so OF COURSE she's going to end up being his love interest!

To me removing a character's core trait to justify a romance means you do NOT know how to actually write a compelling romance. It's trite, it's forced and painful to listen to.

It's also obvious she's a replacement for Bernard, given they have similar personalities and her brief stint on TV (which she also failed at lol). But whereas Bernard was actually endearing, Jillian seems more of a cliche womanchild with zero self awareness and tact. No actual depth, just a personality that is incredibly dumbed down and even insulting. Seriously they made her the dumb blond stereotype in an era where we should've moved on from that! 🤦

Did I mention she goes to church?

Yep she's gonna be one of those Christians.

Literally Loveless, Literally!

Oddly enough the narrative frames this as a rivals to lovers thing, where Jason is both the charismatic friendly guy and the super uninterested Straight Man. The constant twisting the turning makes him go OOC. See we know he's fit better as the former because that goes in line with his canon personality. But when they make him the latter he just comes off as unnecessarily mean. This is turns frames Jillian as someone we should pity: "Oh the attractive male doesn't like me because I went into his office without permission!!"

Wouldn't it make more sense for Jillian to be the one uninterested in a romance since her focus in to find a job/better purpose and romance might distract her? That would make a fun subplot...IF SHE WASN'T OBNOXIOUS!

A pattern I noticed and several fans pointed out: Jason's previous love interests were consistent in that they were strong minded women who challenged him in different ways. Their personalities bounced off creating a fun dynamic that was entertaining to see. Even though they didn't end up with him, you can still see and hear and feel their chemistry which is my goal for Jason x OC. Tasha doesn't make Jason OOC & they had a bittersweet arc, so their interactions were organic. Monica only made him OOC because she was a villain actively manipulating him. So again that worked in terms of story and led to Monica's redemption if my memory serves.

However, Jillian's dynamic is not that fun to listen to. You can feel her annoying Jason through the airwaves. She's strong but only in the sense of feeling something hard underneath your back laying on the bed and realizing that's just your earbud. She's vibrant yes but what else? She doesn't have any unique traits to contrast Jason, and any attempt at a contrast would mean making him act out of character. Adding her bumbling clumsiness and annoying voice, Jason would get tired of her very quickly. He's the type to go for people to have intelligent conversations with, not make him lose braincells. She could very well bring out the worse in him, it'll be an unhealthy relationship.

Here's a tidbit worth mentioning: the VA for Jillian actually auditioned with Jason's VA Townsend Coleman. Now that is big ass red flag right there! No hate towards the actress, just throwing that out there. There's also a facebook page dedicated to Jillison. Typical FB stupidity ramped up to eleven, or AIO fans who see something in Jillian; or at least THINk they see something worthwhile in her.

It doesn't help the writers keep insisting that these two go well together. The audience knows they do not work well as a pair but the narrative keeps insisting they are anyways. I recall an episode that had them pretend to be married while undercover and it was bad. Like REALLY humiliating to see Jason put in that position. He also told her to shut up much to my joy because she could NOT stop being irritating for five minutes. Alas the show still tries to justify Jillian being the Perfect Woman for Jason when she's anything but. And not even endearingly imperfect.

Follow Up

These tags I wrote on one of the AIO posts describes how I feel about Villain Marshall and the Jillison coupling as a whole. It just wouldn't work because Jason needs someone that can actually CHALLENGE him, have their own personality that can bounce off his (without being forced), and most importantly DOESN'T AGGRAVATE THE FANDOM!!

I have not met a single person anywhere that say they like Jillian. It's a different story apparently on the Club App - they like her for reasons I'm too cowardly to find out. But no, she sucks as a character. She makes a annoying friend, and is not a good addition to the show, much less a good love interest.

The only good thing she brought us are the nicknames we gave her 😌

That's all for now thank you for tuning into the Odyssey Mystery Hour. Next week I'll be talking a bit more about my OC Vanessa and her role in the world of Odyssey! Goodbye and make sure to lock your doors to prevent Jillian from coming in!!

[swissmissficrecs]

Favorite fics of 2012

2012 was when things really started happening in earnest in the fandom. There was a veritable explosion of fic, and many of the absolute classics were posted. I have something like 15 pages of bookmarks from that year, and as such, it was incredibly hard to narrow things down to a manageable number for a rec list. Here are the ones that I felt are the must-reads, that have stuck with me the longest and strongest.

A Cure For Boredom by emmagrant01 (81K, E, Johnlock, John/OCs) They'd never talked about sex in the year they'd known each other. Well, that wasn't quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (52K, M, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Across the Sky by Mazarin221b (23K, E, Johnlock) Top Gun AU. After an accident that nearly cost the life of his previous RIO, Lieutenant John Watson (Call sign Doc) has grown reckless and arrogant, but an even better pilot than he was before. A heroic maneuver and complete chance sends him and his new RIO (call sign Copper) to Fallon, Nevada, home of Top Gun.  Problem is, the ghosts of John's past could cost them more than just the Top Gun trophy—it could also cost John a chance at happiness.

An Avalanche Of Detour Signs by gyzym (56K, M, Mollstrade) In which Molly Hooper gets a job, gets a degree, breaks a heart, has her heart broken, falls in love, keeps a secret, saves a life, runs a morgue, falls apart, pulls it together, and finds exactly what she didn't know she was looking for--not necessarily in that order.

Applications and Practices of Basic Arithmetic by 1electricpirate (128K, M, Johnlock) After Reichenbach and in order to 1) Keep Sherlock alive, 2) Keep John alive and 3) Get Sherlock home to England as soon as possible, Mycroft devises a plan that will not only incentivise John's continued sanity and survival but force Sherlock to come running. It is a perfect plan, though perhaps less than ethically sound. He has no doubts that using frozen samples of your younger brother's sperm to create children for his husband to care for falls deeply within the realm of socially unacceptable behaviour, but it is efficient, and that is what matters most.

Ava Watson verse by keeliethompson1 (347K, M, Johnlock) Five year old Ava Watson's life is changed forever when her Daddy's old friend comes calling.

Be Here Now Universe by Todesfuge (181K, M, Johnlock) John Watson was already fighting demons when he and Sherlock met. With Sherlock's suicide, it all comes flooding back, forcing Sherlock to intervene before he's solved the persistent riddles of Jim Moriarty and his game. Together they find that something darker lurks behind Moriarty, forcing Sherlock, John, and Irene Adler into an even deadlier game with a much more dangerous foe.  Begins six months after the events of The Reichenbach Fall.

Burn Down & Reignite by augustbird (20K, E, Johnlock) When love isn't enough.

Castle and Sand by grey853 (158K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock and John both have difficult pasts that affect their evolving relationship. When John prevents a mugging, it sets off a dangerous chain of events that not only impacts him, but his whole family. In the end there's a wedding and a honeymoon, but will there really be a happy ending?

Cinnamon series by lbmisscharlie (150K, E, Johnlock) When Sherlock invites John to live with him, he fails to mention that he's a single father to a four-year-old girl.

Collared by VelvetMace (83K, E, Johnlock, John/Sarah) In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Common Grounds by couchbarnacle (66K, M, Johnlock) John Watson is working at Holmes Manor for the summer and is caught up in the whirlwind that is Sherlock Holmes. Teen AU.

Electric Pink Hand Grenade by BeautifulFiction (67K, E, Johnlock) "If Sherlock's brain is a hard drive, then these attacks are an electro-magnetic pulse." Sherlock Holmes does not do anything by half, not even a migraine. It falls to John to witness one of the greatest minds he has ever known tear itself apart, and he must do his best to help Sherlock pick up the pieces.

End of the Story by kres (53K, E, Johnlock) Post-Reichenbach. The return, the fallout, the pieces you pick up.

Equilibrium by augustbird (12K, M, Johnlock) At Baskerville, John is infected by a virus that turns him into a genius. But when the infection progresses into neurodegeneration, it's a race against time to save himself. Flowers for Algernon fusion.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (97K, M, Johnlock) Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Hearts At Home series by yalublyutebya (74K, M, Johnlock, Viclock) A series of stories chronicling the intertwined lives of Father John Watson and Sherlock Holmes.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (19K, E, Johnlock) Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

Limping Forward series by bendingsignpost (58K, E, Johnlock) As the newest instructor at St. Bart's, John has been explicitly warned to never do Sherlock Holmes any favours. Too bad the sex is so good.

More Things Than Are Dreamt Of series by 1electricpirate (37K, E, Johnlock) In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious.

Murderous Imprint by MojoFlower (52K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock should be focusing on the series of brutal vivisections Lestrade has brought to him. Instead he's distracted by a most amazing and unexpected experimental opportunity from the basement apartment of 221C. Will he figure out the one in time to stop the other? And does he need help in order to do it?

Renegades by augustbird (39K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock Holmes takes down Moriarty’s syndicate.  He also takes John Watson with him.

School For Scandal (orphaned) (222K, E, Johnlock) Sherlock lusts from afar. John tries to fool himself. (Boarding school AU)

Spectrum series by thisprettywren (95K, E, Johnlock) In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Stranger at the Gate by bendingsignpost (85K, E, Johnlock) As far as initiation rites go, kidnapping a human doctor from a defended town ought to seem extreme. When James Moriarty offers him the challenge, Sherlock never considers saying no. (Fantasy vampire AU)

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (95K, E, Johnlock) Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.

Our Brave Boys by unknownsister (29K, E, Johnlock) John worked himself to the bone to get into military school. He meets Sherlock Holmes, who doesn't want to be there at all. Sherlock simultaneously insults him and turns his curiosity up to eleven, in mind and body. As if John doesn't have enough to deal with.

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (32K, M, Johnlock) The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.”  The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Tennis series by Jupiter_Ash (216K, E, Johnlock) John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything?

The Bone Fiddle by htebazytook, Vulgarweed (61K, E, Johnlock) Appalachian AU! In November 1973, Vietnam vet John Watson returns to his family's old home in Arthel County, West Virginia, deep in coal country. His low expectations include recuperation and boredom. Instead he finds a ruined landscape, a series of grisly murders, and one of the world's weirdest neighbors.

The Brave and The Cunning series by thequeergiraffe (95K, E, Johnlock, Adlock, Sarah/John, Sheriarty) This series will have one fic per Sherlock episode, with series one being set in John's 6th year (and Sherlock's 5th) and series two being set in John's 7th and final year at Hogwarts. Fics will have similar (but nowhere near identical) plots to the actual BBC Sherlock episodes, with most locations being replaced with HP-universe settings. This series is set well after the Second Wizarding War and involves next to none of the HP characters, instead using Sherlock characters and the occasional minor OC.

The Fabric of Life (orphaned) (156K, E, Johnlock) The fabric of life rearranges itself around the re-emergence of Sherlock.

The Good Morrow series by greywash (216K, E, Johnlock) My post-S2 series where everyone has a lot of feels about everything and plausibility is stretched unto breaking. Also: fucking.

The Great Sex Olympics of 221B by XistentialAngst (58K, E, Johnlock; John/OCs, Sherlock/OCs) John Watson thinks Sherlock Holmes should admit that he, Watson, is more of an expert on sex than Sherlock is.  But Sherlock refuses to concede the point.  He comes up with an experiment plan that will resolve the issue.  The results will determine who wins the prize.  But sometimes even the best thought-out scientific study has unexpected consequences.

The Green Blade by verityburns (72K, T, Gen) As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

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[ladychimera]

I sort of regret getting into Miraculous Ladybug, because the show itself is a raging dumpster fire, but (parts of) the fandom make up for it.  But I still can’t help but bemoan all of the wasted potential.  Like imagine…

(I’m sure this is going to get long, so hope the cut works.)

---

To start off (and this is probably going to piss a lot of people off but bear with me) imagine if there was no Love Square bullshit.  Adrien/Chat can just have a healthy level of admiration towards Ladybug, especially since he’s been there with her from day one and seen how she’s grown into a determined and clever hero.  Marinette and he could still have the umbrella scene if that’s how they clear up the misunderstanding between them, but she can end up finding that he’s a nice boy who she could see herself being friends with.  And that’s what they could be here – just friends - but not in the repetitively, cringe-inducing way like canon keeps pushing.  This would leave them to be able to joke and pun and banter, whether as civilians or superheroes, and both will know it’s all in fun.  This could help with a lot of the problems a lot of us have with Adrien/Chat too beyond the unwanted advances and all of that.  It would likely also help him grow into someone who could be let in on things earlier than he is in canon (so no scenes like That One in Syren).  

Events can still play out similar to canon, but we can get actual character development, and plot development, and world/lore building. Nino and Alya can still get the Turtle and Fox temporarily.  I don’t know about Chloe and the Bee.  If she actually got proper redemption (and not one stretched out over so many episodes without showing much actual progress that most of us just gave up caring before the creators just gave up on it themselves), maybe things could still happen there, but she’d definitely need to actually face consequences for what she did there.  That could even be what helps spur her to try and better herself instead of solely coming from Ladybug.

Then this is kind of where I can’t help but think how things could have gone differently.  Say after Heroes Day and all of that mess Marinette begins thinking that…maybe they should have more permanent heroes.  Trying to deal with an Akuma and realizing they need back-up, going to Fu and picking a Miraculous that could work for the situation, chasing down the person she wants to give it to (If they’re not already there as a matter of convenience. And I’m sure there are enough of us who [kind of] hate someone being given a Miraculous as a matter of convenience.), and going through all of that detracts from dealing with the situation.  She discusses it with Chat, and he quickly agrees, so they go to Fu.

In this ‘verse Fu would be given the chance to actually interact with them regularly beyond “Marinette goes to him for Miraculous” and he’s also able to realize his mistakes.  When the three of them sit down to discuss this situation he might be the one to bring up that, despite Chat Noir being a fitting partner for Plagg and the Black Cat Ring, it was probably a mistake to send out the two Miraculous needed for the reality-bending wish.  Since that can’t be taken back now that Paris knows both are already within the city, they land on maybe the Turtle being the one to sort of give this “Adding More Permanent Heroes” thing a test run, especially since that was probably the one he should have sent out instead.  At this point Adrien and Marinette still haven’t revealed who they are to each other, but when Ladybug suggests Nino again it kind of…just happens lol  They might be a bit chagrinned that they didn’t realize who the other was sooner (and not realizing that Nino’s Carapace might make Adrien want to smack his head into a wall even with the reason being the Miraculous glamor hiding it – THAT’S HIS BEST FRIEND! And they’re actually shown to be in this AU :l ) but it goes over well enough.  There’s still the threat of if one of them is Akumatized and possibly giving the others away, but in this ‘verse they actually have SUPPORT. From each other with no superhero-related secrets between them.  Give my girl the support she needs and deserves especially! Fuck canon with its constant shitting on her.  SERIOUSLY.  They’d also be able to cover for each other whether as heroes or as civilians (so stuff like less ridiculous excuses to go transform).

So…Permanent Turtle!Nino. My boy would deserve it, especially if they kept his first season personality and just built on it (instead of having him be basically relegated to “being pulled around by Alya” whenever the creators deign to even have him show up :l ).  At this point Marinette, Adrien, and Fu might need to discuss how much to bring Nino in on (including meeting Fu), but I don’t think it would take them long to realize that he fits the Turtle and maybe it’s time for him to meet the Guardian and find out who Paris’s heroes are.  How he reacts to that is up to you.  When they get to talking about the old Order of Guardians maybe one of the three kids brings up making a New Order (because Feast hasn’t happened yet for one), maybe as an offhanded comment, but it doesn’t sound like a completely bad idea.  Fu, thinking about his past mistakes (and we also don’t know how much he actually learned before the Fall or what he might have learned from the kwami since), might not know whether to agree with it or not, but the other three have kind of taken off with the idea and Adrien or Nino might even make (another) offhand comment that it’d be like they’re creating their own Miraculous Justice League or something (and that’s what I’m going to refer to this AU as I guess – “Miraculous League AU”) so he’s basically, ‘Well, I guess this is happening then.’  Probably wouldn’t take long to start discussing who would fit the other Miraculous after that.

Now…Alya and the Fox… To be honest I don’t think she really fits the Fox.  That was more one of those “matter of convenience” type of situations.  Since we don’t know much about the ones that haven’t been used yet, if we go sort of by what the zodiac signs mean, maybe she’d be better suited for the Boar/Pig?  I don’t know…  There’s also the problems with her design as Rena ugh. To me the Fox seems better suited for a creative type who can keep themselves out of sight (This is the only credit I’ll give Lila/Volpina – she knew to hide herself when making her illusions.). So who is a quiet, creative type they know?  Well, it probably wouldn’t take long at all for Marinette to think of Marc and Nathaniel. Honestly both of them could work for the Fox, but for this AU I can’t help but lean more toward Marc (and this would mean Nathaniel could have what I picture for the Rooster, but Fox!Marc and Rooster!Nathaniel would probably require their own post).  She might even make up her mind if Nathaniel was Akumatized again and Marc wanted to help.  So now we have the Fox added in (and I don’t know when I’d want Nathaniel brought in on stuff).  Also I know there’s the whole “an Akuma isn’t really who that person IS” thing (though I side-eye that with ones like Silencer or even Bubbler. I think it’s more a matter of the negative emotion being amplified so much they sort of become twisted versions of themselves?), but I don’t think Reverser is given enough credit.  I think he’s been one of the closest after Dark Owl to actually getting the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous. I think Marc would make for a good hero.

As they discuss the other Miraculous as soon as they reach the Monkey Marinette and Nino are both, “Kim.” And they’re so quick and blunt and adamant with that response that Fu doesn’t question it. I mean come on who else fits it as well as Kim?!  Not to mention not only was the boy fucking robbed in his own hero debut episode, they’ve known him since kindergarten (and in this ‘verse they’d actually be really close like “He’s/She’s like a brother/sister to me” close. It’s also why Marinette was so adamant about Nino.).  Now the Monkey is still really special, so while they might decide it might not be bad to bring him in as the next permanent user they might make it a point that he’s not necessarily joining every battle even if he’s able to.  All they need to go wrong is him/his summoned item accidentally being knocked into any of them but Ladybug or Chat in particular after using his power.  This also solves the disaster that was Party Crasher.

That leads to talking about the Snake.  I’m not sure whether I’d want Desperada moved up in the timeline or not, but at this point Marinette probably hasn’t had much interaction with Luka just yet to automatically think he’d be a perfect match (which he definitely is) for the Snake so it would probably need to be, though there might still be a slight hiccup with Adrien maybe taking a few turns until he not only realizes that he is NOT fit for the Snake (and that’s ok) but that Luka IS.  On a side note with no Love Square bullshit that whole cringe-inducing guitar scene would also either not happen or happen in a similar way but because Jagged just kind of put the spotlight on Marinette but she doesn’t want to push Luka into working with someone who his mom just kind of tore into so in a kind of bit of panic goes with Adrien.  And no Love Square also prevents that whole thing with Adrien resetting almost 26,000 times because WHAT EVEN.

Since they discussed Kim already (and brought him into the loop), they can’t help but think of Max (whether at Kim’s prompting or otherwise I like Kimax leave me alooone lol).  Which one suiting him might not be obvious at first though, but given what Voyage entails it might not be bad to have an analytical mind like Max using the Horse. I mean his first time using it he managed to get them from SPACE to almost exactly in London where he wanted. Not to mention I can’t see him having been in Marinette’s grandpa’s place to know where to put the portal in order to do so successfully and be right there to grab the radio he needed without him having a natural affinity for the Horse.  Also WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MAX AND THE HORSE ANYWAY?!  Mind-controlled Max was able to send Chat HURTLING INTO THE SUN. The kid’s a natural with the Horse even when mind controlled, but that’s also making the Horse like stupid OP.  Or at least when Max uses it.  I don’t know how I’d want Startrain to line up with this, though it would be better to happen after (probably right after) he’s brought in so he knows the others are there but they still have a reason for the Horse to be available if anyone questions anything.  This also prevents another “matter of convenience” situation.  They’d need to make it clear to Markov what to say or not to say and when though.

I can’t really say much about Kagami and the Dragon honestly.  I mean at least she’d be familiar with wielding a sword, but I’d need to see her use of the other elements to get a better idea of how it might work in this AU.  Adrien might suggest her after getting to know her some through fencing club, but it might still end up being sort of a “matter of convenience” situation depending on when he does vs when her mom might end up Akumatized.  They would need to press not revealing herself to others outside of the group though.

Alix is in a similar boat. Her situation could go a lot like canon, but she’d actually be included in knowing who was who and the discussions they have like the ones at Fu’s.

On the matter of Lila it would definitely go differently than canon.  With no Love Square Alya has no reason to dismiss Marinette as merely jealous because Lila’s getting so close to Adrien.  Nino and Kim would also have a huge problem if Lila tried to turn the class against Marinette.  Alya would also stand up for her girl and be questioning all of the ridiculous things Lila says anyway (She’s supposed to want to be a journalist. She should be questioning all of the shit Lila spews.). Max would also have a problem just from a logical standpoint with all of the shit she says.  Adrien would also know that Lila’s lying because he knows Marinette is Ladybug, so we could also not have the High Road bullshit talk.  Nathaniel would also probably be questioning things, especially if he’s already become the Rooster, but even if he wasn’t Marc would probably help keep him grounded.  All of this might make Lila either give up on her lame lies, or she could actually become the master manipulator the show wanted her to be but without having to dumb down the entire cast for it to “work.”  This could very well also be the groundwork for why she might be the next Hawkmoth, especially if he partners up with her more often (whether to give her more Akuma or let her help him make more).  

Another thing that would be different in this AU is concerning the Miraculous themselves. While ones like the Ladybug earrings, Black Cat ring, and even ones like the Snake bangle and Turtle bracelet are rather inconspicuous, a lot of the others aren’t.  Not to mention you can’t tell me the Rabbit has always been a pocketwatch or the Horse always having been a pair of sunglasses.  In this AU while they might keep their past/last form while dormant in the Miracle Box if a new, permanent user is chosen then the Miraculous can adjust its appearance to that person.  This could be little things like Nino’s bracelet ending up with a smaller charm but slightly bigger band to better go with his other bracelets (and maybe some beads or winded yarn in his signature blue and red) to bigger changes like Kim’s circlet might become something like an arm band since he’d in no way get away with wearing the circlet unless he took to like…wearing a hat or beanie or something.  A lot of us think Juleka will probably end up with the Tiger since it’s so similar to her mirror, but that thing is kind of monstrous and definitely conspicuous.  It would likely need to change to more match her current mirror.  The Horse sunglasses could just adjust into a replica of Max’s glasses.  Marc could probably get away with the Fox staying a pendant, but I kind of like a choker for him better.  I don’t know if Ivan could pull off a nosering, so the Ox might need to change too. If that double thumb ring with the chain link between is the Rooster, I don’t know if Nathaniel could pull that off, so I picture something more like maybe a bracer cuff kind of deal with maybe a stylized feather motif or a stone that looks like the sun.  It could also be hidden by his sleeve most of the time.

Just…so. Much. Lost. Potential. It’s honestly kept me up some nights (though in part because it’s hard for my brain to turn off).

[countessofbiscuit]

sphere of interest

A couple posts went round a month or two ago about Riyo Chuchi being a uniquely corrupt character. That she’s privileged and participates in a corrupt system (for better or worse) is true enough, but those posts stuck with me particularly because the OP bemoaned Riyo’s portrayal as a knock-off Padmé and seemed to take issue with the fact that she’s written as humanitarian, soft-spoken, and compassionate (which I see nothing in canon to contradict) — as if those qualities cannot exist in a character alongside diplomatic cunning, ethical ambiguity, and a mastery of realpolitik. Or, that her nuance is somehow universally lost on fandom because folks enjoy writing this minor character sweetly wining and dining and fucking rather than, idk, engaging in a heated disagreement with Bail Organa about installing Rush Clovis as head of the Banking Clan. 

I can’t really speak to OP’s frustration with fandom iterations of Riyo (I’ve only written her, not widely read her); but their mention of Padmé was interesting because a) I’ve seen a very distinctively characterized Riyo badly scrubbed off a fic to be replaced by Padmé, and b) the entire premise upon which Riyo’s alleged corruption hangs — undisclosed evidence that the Trade Federation, specifically their senator, Lott Dod (though, as I pointed out, OP had confused Lott Dod for an unnamed TF ambassador), is in cahoots with the Separatists — forms a significant part of an earlier episode in the timeline featuring … everyone’s favorite do-gooder, Padmé Amidala. 

In “Senate Spy” (s02ep04), Padmé witnesses and obtains actual fax hard evidence (a data chip handed over to the Jedi Council) of Senator Lott Dod’s collaboration with such Separatist big-wigs as Poggle the Lesser, in financing and supplying a droid factory for Count Dooku; furthermore, Padmé suffers attempted murder at Dod’s hand in the form of poisoning, which Anakin and Senator Clovis both witness. 

Now, Padmé was too ill to converse with Dod and so escapes any accusations of blackmail, spying, and theft by a bad-faith actor (luckily for her character, I guess), and Anakin was too busy saving her life … but to explain how Lott Dod is still kicking around in the Senate to falsely (though perfectly legally) claim neutrality and practice nefarious misdeeds upon inhabitants of the galaxy at the time of “Sphere of Influence”, I suppose we have to assume that neither Padmé nor Anakin nor the Jedi Council reported, privately or publicly, Dod’s active collusion and attempted murder.

If we’re talking a breach in ethics, this assumed non-disclosure on Padmé’s part is a pretty egregious one; the intelligence she collected during the impromptu sting would not have been affected (given that its theft was known to the Separatists, there was no Enigma Dilemma involved). And silence on this misconduct was very probably illegal, because we can suppose Senators were technically required to report the crimes of other Senators (especially in the case of treason, which was tried in the Senate itself) to the Internal Activities Committee.

The Internal Activities Committee was a political committee of the Galactic Republic Senate that was part of the Judiciary Committee and was considered to be a spiritual partner of the Ethics Committee. Distinctively from the Ethics Committee, however, the Internal Activities Committee had the power to bring forth criminal charges on individuals. The Internal Activities Committee of the Galactic Senate supervised the affairs of senators and other ranking Galactic Republic officials, such as the Supreme Chancellor, ensuring that they did nothing unethical or illegal. If such misconduct was found, it was the Committee's duty to notify the Supreme Court and hand over all evidence of misconduct for prosecution. (x)

OR … we choose to operate under the assumption that Padmé did talk both ways and sideways and upside-down in the Senate about Lott Dod’s villainy, and yet ... there was nothing that could be done; no charges could be filed; perhaps the Supreme Court has no affirmative duty to prosecute, even when presented evidence of factual guilt; and this blatant criminality by a Senator had no practical effect whatsoever in convincing the Senate to revoke the Trade Federation’s representation, or to end that corporation’s galactic monopoly. Lott Dod himself had already denounced the Viceroy of the Trade Federation (Nute Gunray) as a Separatist on multiple occasions (even to Bail Organa), and this too was not enough to move the Senate to act. Clearly, we can expect the Trade Federation to act with impunity, whatever iota of intelligence Riyo Chuchi does or does not preach to the choir about a diplomat when she successfully negotiates for a peaceful end to a blockade that is having fatal consequences on her home planet. 

There are probably examples, too, where Padmé secretly negotiates with the enemy to end or prevent some hostility or other. If anyone can think of times she’s doing this without a blaster in her hand, I’d like to hear it! 

Maybe I’ll tackle diplomatic immunity, duty of care, and limits to public disclosure, and my other objections to that Riyo meta and its value judgements, and its application of American law to what is clearly an international incident in the narrative, in another post.