#[ nnoitra has many thoughts ahaha ]

[despairforme]

SHIPPING INFO. answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

HM!! Very difficult question to answer. I was fortunate enough to write Nnoitra / Grimmjow for several years on here with Lexie, so that ship is dear to me, but I don't see myself writing them together again because yeah, Lexie's Grimmjow was just the perfect fit for Nnoitra. Unfortunately I haven't been able to get in contact with Lexie for a few years now, but I'm still forever blessed to have written this ship with them.

So, I don't really have an OTP for Nnoitra. His most popular canon ships, Nnoitra / Nelliel and Nnoitra / Tesla are not OTPs for me, but I'm still open to writing them if our muses click.

I honestly prefer either crossover-ships, OCxCANON or rare-pairs. I want interesting dynamics that I haven't thought about or tried before.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

I'm open to anything, as long as it's in-character for Nnoitra. It's pretty difficult ( or should I say impossible? ) to have a healthy ship with Nnoitra, as he is a very toxic person, so writing toxic ships is my jam. I'm fine with writing non-con ( Nnoitra's canon, hello? ), abuse, manipulation and so on and so on. The only things I will not write are things that I consider OOC for Nnoitra, such as him being the submissive in the relationship, any type of feminization-plot. I also won't write prefect lovey-dovey ships because that's just not Nnoitra.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

No age gap limits, but Nnoitra is not interested in minors. I also won't write ship with mods who are under 20. I'm in my late 20s and considering the sort of dark material I write and how toxic Nnoitra can become in a relationship, I feel more comfortable if my writing partner is older than 20.

Are you selective when shipping?

YES. I'm very selective when shipping. Mostly because it takes Nnoitra a good while to form that sort of bond with someone. I also like for things to develop "naturally". I don't do pre-established romantic relationships. I want Nnoitra to fall in love on his own, without me pushing him along.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

I typically tag things as "suggestive //" right away if there is a sexual or graphic tone to the post. Nnoitra is a crude person so this can happen easily. I would only tag sex or foreplay as NSFW.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

At the moment, I have no active ships for Nnoitra ( he's sleeping with a couple of people though, win for him fjfjfjf ). I really miss writing ships for Nnoitra, so I'm writing a few crossover ship fanfics for him (Nnoitra/Atsushi and Nnoitra/Kōtarō), but this is just self-indulgent because I want to see him happy from time to time ahaha.

Does one have to ask to ship with you?

No, you don't. It's absolutely cool to tell me if you want to try and explore a ship between our muses though! I'll be onboard for exploring, but please note that there is never a guarantee that Nnoitra will grow attached to your muse. We can set them up on a date ( Nnoitra is actively trying to find dates these days ), but again, there are no guarantees. If your muse has feelings for Nnoitra, feel free to tell me!

How often do you like to ship?

RARELY! Like man oh man, haven't had a ship on here for 200 years at this point. I would like to ship more, but at the same time it's Nnoitra who decides when he falls in love, and that is a slow process. I'm just hitching along for the ride.

Are you multiship?

No, I consider my blog selective few-ship. I also will only have one ship per verse. I'm looking for a few ship partners ( or just one, I'm up for being single ship ) who I can write deep and dedicated plots with.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

I'm not ship obsessed by any means, since it's been many years since I've written a ship for Nnoitra. I AM currently searching for a ship for him, because I do miss writing that sort of thing, but if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen. All good.

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

Byakuya / Renji . Aizen / Shinji . Mayuri / Kisuke .

My three BLEACH OTPs! I do have other ships (rare-pairs mostly) that I enjoy, but these three are my favorite.

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Tell me that you're interested in exploring this type of dynamic between our muses, and we can set them up on a date, or put them in a setting where they can get to know each other. Please note that there is no guarantee that Nnoitra will form an attachment.

tagged by : @avaere , thank you for the tag aven!

tagging: @fiorserpen , @3katanas , @pinkminxed , @gildinbainas , @godkilller , @knightshonour , @adelha-mathilde .

[despairforme]

Aren't you afraid of Grimmjow leaving you? Since you seem to be so annoyed by him? Surely you know just how bad he must feel, right?

     Yeah, he knew how bad Grimmjow had to feel. It was kinda the point, to make him feel bad about his decision. Maybe that would make him cave and change his mind. Well, even if Nnoitra had wanted to ‘ forgive ‘ him, it just wasn’t that simple. Grimmjow was being a fucking idiot after all. But was Nnoitra afraid that Grimmjow was going to leave him? Not really. It wasn’t like HE was the one in the wrong here. Grimmjow was the one fucking things up. Sure, Nnoitra was making him feel bad about it, but that wasn’t a reason to leave someone, right? One of the big differences between his relationship with Grimmjow and what he had had with his ex, was that Nnoitra didn’t worry too much about Grimmjow leaving him. That wasn’t because he thought he was good enough for Grimmjow or whatever, because he definitely wasn’t. He just felt so comfortable in their relationship because Grimmjow had seen the worst side of him – EXPERIENCED the worst side of him. And he STILL loved him. If Grimmjow could love him even after what he had done to him, then there was literally nothing Nnoitra could do to make him fall out of love with him. That did NOT mean that he tried to take advantage of this by any means. He was never deliberately mean to Grimmjow. Except for ( maybe ) how he was treating him right now. But, he had a GOOD REASON! He did this to protect him. The best way to keep Grimmjow safe was to make him change his mind. Why the fuck did Grimmjow think it was a good idea to become a snitch? Nnoitra couldn’t, for the life of him, understand what Grimmjow was thinking. It was simply the stupidest idea ever. And yeah – Nnoitra had had many stupid ideas himself ( and witnessed Grimmjow have a lot of them as well ), but this easily won the first price. None of the other ideas were even contenders compared to this.

     Even though he was fucking pissed off at Grimmjow, he didn’t love him any less. He was pretty sure Grimmjow knew that. If their roles had been switched, then Nnoitra knew that he would’ve been stressed out as fuck, thinking that Grimmjow didn’t love him anymore. But Grimmjow wasn’t as paranoid as himself, so surely he was fine? And if he wasn’t, then that was actually a good thing. Because it could make him change his mind. Nnoitra would rather have Grimmjow feel bad and be safe, than be happy and in danger. What made Nnoitra even more obsessed with making his boyfriend change his mind was that Grimmjow had told him that he was doing this for HIM. That didn’t make any fucking sense, since Nnoitra didn’t want this. This was the exact opposite of what he wanted, actually. Not to mention that it wouldn’t bring any of them anything positive. Only trouble and probably danger as well. It was even worse than if Nnoitra suddenly decided to throw Grimmjow’s cats out and then claim that he was ‘ doing it for his sake ‘. Grimmjow was such a fucking idiot. The fact that he claimed that he was doing this for Nnoitra really pissed him off. It also made him stressed out as fuck. Either Grimmjow was lying about doing it for his sake, or he really thought he was doing it for him in some screwed up way. Either way – it would be HIS fault if something happened to Grimmjow. That was something he wouldn’t be able to deal with. He just had to fix this shit!

     This was the sort of stuff that Nnoitra fucking hated. Things that he weren’t good at fixing. Granted, he wasn’t really ‘ good ‘ at ‘ fixing ‘ anything – but there were certain situations where he could at least be somewhat useful. He was strong. He knew how to fight. He’d do anything to protect Grimmjow. But – saving him from his own stupidity? Winning an argument? Saying the right things? He sucked at all that shit. If he had been good at manipulating, he probably would’ve been able to get Grimmjow to change his mind. Nnoitra knew that him trying to change Grimmjow’s mind by making him feel bad was a form of ‘ manipulation ‘ or whatever. He knew it would’ve worked on himself. Too bad it didn’t seem to be working on the other. Nnoitra did feel bad about what he was doing to Grimmjow. OF COURSE HE DID! He wanted to hold him and tell him that no matter what, he would stay beside him and protect him. That was the truth after all. If Grimmjow ended up sticking to this stupid plan, then of course Nnoitra would stay with him. He felt like he had proved just how far he was willing to go for him last summer. He had literally taken a bullet for him. He’d do it again. The way things were going, he had the feeling that he would have to. Fuck. Why was Grimmjow determined to fuck up the life they had together? Why hadn’t he learned? It sure was messed up, that HE was the smart one in the relationship. It was almost like Grimmjow was the one who had gotten shot in the head and sustained some brain damage.

     It wasn’t too late yet though. Grimmjow still had time to change his mind! He hadn’t gone through with it yet ( as far as Nnoitra knew anyway ). Nnoitra wondered what he would do if Grimmjow went ahead and talked to the police again. What would he do if he actually did this whole snitch-shit? He didn’t know. He didn’t know how he would feel or what he would do. He DID know that he was going to protect him though. That was the only thing that was certain. He would love him and protect him. No matter what.

     ❝ Nah, that ain’t what I’m worried ‘bout. ❞ He was way more worried about Grimmjow’s safety than anything. ANYTHING. 

[despairforme]

what do you think of nelliel? this could be for anything. do you really hate her as much as you say ? where did it all start? what’s your relationship with her like?

      ❝ Why ya askin’ me this? Ain’t it fuckin’ obvious what I think ‘bout that fuckin’ bitch? ❞

      Funny how this question was posed: What do you REALLY think of Nelliel? As if he hadn't made his thoughts about her perfectly fucking clear. What? Did they expect him to have lied about hating her? That he didn't really think she was that bad? Hah! Fucking funny! If anything, he probably hated her even more than what he had expressed. There was no limit to his hatred towards her. She was EVIL.

      Nnoitra had always hated her. From the moment he became an Arrancar ( he had moved straight into the position as an Espada upon becoming an Arrancar ). She had already been the Tres back then - and she had not accepted him. Nnoitra had been so happy and proud of becoming an Espada. He had felt like maybe - maybe his existence wasn't going to be so miserable. He had felt strong. On top of things. And then - SHE had come along and ruined everything. Maybe, if she had just stopped at not accepting him, Nnoitra could've found a way to deal with that. But no. She had to fucking FOLLOW HIM AROUND. To ' protect ' him. Because she thought he was weaker than her. LIKE HELL HE WAS! He didn't need to be protected! The way she had looked down on him had been like a knife to the gut. And she twisted it every time she spoke to him. Nnoitra had always lived with his head barely above water. It was his aspect of death that was mostly to blame for this. To carry the weight of ALL THE WORLD'S DESPAIR was no easy task. It was entrusted to him because he was the only one who could do it. Nobody else could take it. Only him. That's what he had to believe. When you're barely floating, it takes very little to pull you down. That's what Nelliel had done to him. He had always wanted to die - but she had strengthened that wish. To the point where he had tried to kill himself, throwing himself into a fight he would not survive. But - she had saved him. Like some sick game. Like he was her TOY, and she refused to let him go. Nelliel was not stupid, so Nnoitra was sure she KNEW what she did to him. She did it because she liked it. She found it fun to break him. And he hated her. Hated her so much he wanted her DEAD. He had thought that, if she was gone, then maybe he could try to make his way back to the surface again.

        What was their relationship like? They had to relationship. He hated her, and she loved to toy with him. He wanted her dead, and she refused to let him die. But one day - one day Nnoitra was going to become so strong that he'd KILL HER. He was going to look into her eyes as she died, and the last thing he'd see in those ugly eyes was the realization: HE WAS A REAL WARRIOR AFTER ALL.