#[ im just gonna use the usual tag bc i dont feel like making a whole new tag just for this v specific au RDXVB F ]

[realcube]

hiii my sweet toe bunny😍😚🤎 i have an upcoming gigahuge exam bc it will determine whether i have to go to school for another whole damn year or not so im getting the stress hornies big time!! your requests seem to be open for some reason?! good writers like you are usually busy with a flood of them so i can never request anything😭 but anyways i was gonna throw you this little peanut, a classic really: size kink with lev! dont even know if you write for him lol, couldnt see it on ur profile🥲 i think he’d have the size kink more than any of us ever could, i just feel like he goes crazy especially if its a much shorter person. bc having a size difference from far away is one thing, but being right next to the person and interacting with them and putting your hand on their back and realizing you’re nearly twice their size… is another.

feel free to ignore this pookie butt im soo sorry if this is too specific or something ☹️☹️ writing is hard and getting inspired by someone elses idea is even harder, so yeah. stay hydrated and keep emitting gamma rays☃️

LEV HAIBA + SIZE KINK

a/n → not the sweet toe bunny 😭 stress hornies is so real, sorry for replying so late rah. but i hope your exam went well. or if you haven't sat it yet , good luck and i hope this helps :) also thank you so much for i compliments i can'tttt aaa 😩 wc — 2.5k

tags/tws → size kink (ofc lol), petite!reader, breeding, vaginal, fingering, oral (giving), frenching, petnames, semi-public, pregnancy implications & no beta

you've seen haiba lev before, in magazines and on billboards. sometimes even on television, promoting luxury perfumes in advertisements or modelling designer clothes on the runway.

you knew he was tall — most models are — but it was only when you saw him in person that you realised how truly big he is, how he towers over everyone else on set.

you work as an intern for a famous fashion brand, and you met haiba during a photoshoot he was doing for their new office wear campaign. your job was mostly fetching food or drinks for the models; making sure they were comfortable at all times.

the first interaction you ever had with him was when you were handing out water bottles to the models as they walked onto set, and as soon as you saw his huge frame saunter in, you almost froze from shock. he flashes you a polite smile and mouthed a quick "thank you" as he followed the director to where ever she was leading him.

and though it was brief, that was enough to have you fixated on him for the rest of the photoshoot. you were attentive to your duties but still so mesmerised by him. his lean figure and silvery hair. you had always known lev haiba was exceptionally attractive — he's a model, for fucks' sake — but something about seeing him in person made you feral.

and little did you know, after he first saw you, lev kept an eye out for you too. admiring from afar how hard you worked, and making sure to flex just a little bit more for the photos whenever you were nearby. he just thought you were so cute.

you assumed this whole situation would end as a little temporary work crush. you can fangirl over him for now and blush whenever he smirks at you from across the room, but once this shoot was over, he would never think of you again, while you'd go back to seeing his face plastered nearly everywhere and fantasize about what could've been.

but that wasn't lev's idea. he was used to pursing what he wants.

when the shoot is nearing completion for the day, lev has a long conversation with the photographer and is one of the last models to leave the set.

you were tasked with helping the models remove the designer's clothes, if they needed it. thankfully the majority of them didn't and by the time lev entered the changing room, all the others were leaving to go home, and you were wishing them a safe journey.

"excuse me, ms?" you hear a voice call from the changing room, followed by lev stepping out from behind curtain. he was previously wearing a full suit, but you can see he's shedded the black blazer and was now in only the fitted white shirt, black trousers and dress shoes.

he was looking down and fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "could you help with this, please?" he asks with an awkward chuckle.

lips slightly parted at his unexpected inquiry, once the initial shock fades, you hastily nod and guide him back into the changing room, and this time you enter with him.

it's a confined area but still somewhat big. there's enough space for the two of you to stand, a stool, a clothes rack and full length mirror. he stands before you while you work on unbuttoning his shirt, starting from the top.

"sorry for asking you do this. the buttons are just too small for me." he holds his hands up as a size comparison, and they're undoubtly big.

"it's okay," you stutter, not daring to break your intense stare with his buttons because you know if you were to look up at his face, you might die. "i know these can be very fiddly sometimes."

"exactly." he nods in agreement.

it takes you quite a while to even reach his mid-torso because your hands are shaking so much from being in such close proximity to a celebrity you admire so much. and not only that, but you're literally taking his clothes off. and lev takes notice of his and comments, "nervous?"

your eyes widen and you freeze, heart jumping to your throat. eventually, you're able to squeak, "kinda."

"why?" he laughs, but not in a mocking way. he's genuinely confused as to why you'd be scared of someone like him. it's funny because people usually praise him for being very friendly and approachable.

"you're just.." your voice trails off, trying to think of a way to explain yourself without sounding offensive. "intimidating, y'know, in stature."

lev laughs even harder this time, "woah, that takes me back to when i was in high school. people used to be scared of me because i was the tallest kid in class." he explains, and you detect a hint of pride in his tone.

"that makes sense." you muse, continuing to work on his buttons but it becomes increasingly difficult. especially as he captures your chin between his fingers and pushed your head up so you meet his fiery gaze.

"doesn't make any sense to me." after soaking up your cute flustered expression, he glances down and sees you've only got one button left to do, so he prompts, "go on."

since your fingers are already latched onto it, you're somehow able to undo it without looking. he then releases his grip on your chin so he can slip the shirt off, hanging it up on the adjacent rack.

now shirtless, he turns to you and hums, "your turn?"

lips pressed into a line and heat burning your cheek, the only response you're physically able to give is a meek squeak accompanied by an eager nod. which doesn't even begin to encompass your enthusiasm but perhaps that's for the best.

he smiles at your agreement and grabs the bottom of your top and pulls it off in one swift motion, leaving you standing in your bra in front of him. and before you have a moment to process any of this, he slips one arm behind your shoulder and his other hand reclaims its spot on your jaw to manoeuvre your head upwards, so it's ready to receive his kiss when his lips suddenly come crashing down onto yours.

despite your tact, now that his lips have locked with yours, you find yourself melting into his touch and moving your against him rhythmically. your bodies — though vastly different in proportions — arching into each other desperately.

while one hand sloppily undoes his belt and pulls his cock free from the designer trouser, the other hand on your jaw slowly moves to hold your cheek as the two of you kiss fervently, then it shifts up to your ear, then tangles itself in your hair which he uses to gently pull you away.

you whine quietly at the seperation, missing his hot lips against your own, and he smirks at your reaction. eyes glued to yours, he rasps, "you want it, pretty?"

he motions downwards and you bite your lip at the sight; his size alone is enough to leave you dumdfounded and nodding pathetically, eager to hop on to his monstrous length.

"good girl. think you can handle it?"

"uhuh." you whisper, shaky hands wandering down to take hold of him, and he lets you. in fact, with his grip on your hair, he yanks you down until your face is mere inches away from his tip, "taste first."

with hesitation, you drop to your knees and graciously accept as much of him as you can into your mouth, though that is barely even half. lev still appreciates it; the warmth of your mouth causing his breath to hitch. his cock even twitches at the sight of your cheeks puffed out, struggling to hold him inside.

when his tip prods the back of your throat, it causes you to gag a little, so you immediately jerk away from his cock and cough into your arm.

a concerned look crosses his features and he lightly rubs your back to aid your coughing, "ah, sorry." he apologises, as if it was his fault his cock was so huge that you were gagging on it.

"it's okay." you grate once your coughing fit has calmed down, throat still a bit dry.

he offers you his hand to help you stand up, "c'mon, cutie, that's enough teasing." he reassures you.

you place your hand upon his and as he guides you to your feet , you can't help but notice how big his hand is compared to yours. your thoughts suddenly becomes flooded with fantasties of what you want those big hands to do to you, which he notes by how your touch lingers for a couple moments extra after he lets go.

identifying what your longing for, he presses his lips against yours once more, engaging in a heated make-out while his hands wander down to unzip your jeans and tug them off, leaving you in only your underwear.

while he creeps in tongue into your mouth to make for a french, his long slender fingers rubs your labia through the fabric of your panties, amused by how wet you are already. "still think you can take it?" he basically breathes into the kiss, parting for barely a second to mutter his inquiry.

you reply with an affirmitive moan into the kiss. and just in case that wasn't clear enough, you hook your leg around his hips to give him better access.

he gladly slides the damp strip of material out of the way and sticks his two fingers into your hole, silently snickering at how you writhe at the stimulation of his fingers alone. but you can't help it; they're just so long at push against your walls in just the right way that makes your needy pussy flutter.

the wet noises from your pussy fill the changing room, shortly followed by your stifled moans — afraid other staff might be nearby to hear. his palms rubs against your throbbing clit, as his fingers shallowly thrust inside you. the minimum amount of stimulation needed to make you squim.

lev simply stares at you, enchanted by how your tight hole clings to him, and how the size of his palm compares to your pussy. it's like he could scoop you all up in one hand; hold you tenderly in his hand like a precious doll.

"sweet girl.." he idles, fingers stirring inside you, "fit me so well."

just as he says that, a hiss is drawn from you at how he harshly pulls his fingers out of your hole.

"bend over for me." he commands nicely, and without a second thought, you turn around and bend over, positioning your forearms against the changing room walls to balance you. while you do this, lev has already hooked a finger under the lace of your panties and dragged them down until they fell to your ankles.

his fingers rubbed over your labia, occasionally teasing your clit and soaking up your slick with each seductive movement. his other hand worked on aligning his cock with your glistening hole, until the bulbous tip was prodding against your enterance, at which you let out a low whine of confirmation.

however you didn't fully understand the capacity of what you were giving yourself up for until it was halfway stuffed inside you, contorting your plushing walls to accomodate his massive size and creating a slight buldge in your abdomen. truly it had knocked the wind out of you and despite him no longer being crammed down your throat, you were still choking on it.

as you writhe and mewl in attempt to cope with the intrusion, lev pauses and takes a moment to admire your figure beneath him. how you're so kindly bent over for him, and your tight cunt is struggling to accept his cock.

you were just the right size. with you bent over, he was still tall enough to place his hands on the wall above you, essentially capturing you under him. his sweet angel ready to take him all, and he couldn't help his eagerness to give you what you want.

before he knows it, his hips start to move autonomously against yours, ramming his length into sopping pussy repeatedly, making a lewd squelching noise with every sharp thrust. the volume of which made it clear to anybody nearby what was going on in this changing room, though you didn't have the power to try and silence it, as the hot arousal pooling by your pussy was the only lubricant that facilitated lev's entrance into you, and main reason it was possible for him to move within your homey walls.

his dick stabbed into you over and over, while his slender fingers drew lazy circles over your clit. you were trying your best to stay hushed in fear of being overheard, but lev didn't seem to care. he was allowing the moans, profanities and obscene exclamations to flow freely off his tongue with out a care in the world for who might hear.

"fuck, cutie, so tight." he squeezes the flesh of your ass, then lets his hand wander up so it rests on the small of your back. he's just so much bigger than you, if he wanted he could probably pick you up and fuck you at his height so he doesn't have to bend his knees so much. it's a miracle you're even able to fit him all inside that petite little pussy.

it gets him so hard so see you like this. stripped bare and trembling under him, stifled moans brewing behind your lips and legs trembling as his colossal dick thrashes against your insides. relentless and bruising your cervix with each fervish thrust. completely fucked out from being impaled by his dick, your arms have given out which levaes your cheek pressed lazily against the wall of the changing room. the cold plastic making contact with your skin, hardly enough to combat the waves of searing pleasure he sends rushing through your quivering body.

"can't take it, huh?" he leans over you, his breathy words tickling your shoulder, "too much for this little pussy? too big for my sweet girl?" mindless dirty talk spills from his mouth as his eyes squeeze shut and he basks in the warmth of your walls clamping down on him.

and he pries them open again only so he can get another look at your shaking body, struggling to take him all but persevering. and with the friction of your hole , along with the sight of your small waist held in his soft hands, it wasn't long until lev finished inside you, spilling his hefty load within the confines of your gummy walls.

his cock was pushes out in the process, which made you sigh of relief, but with his hand already positioned on your clit, he was hasty to stuff his fingers right back into your creamed pussy, causing you to gasp.

"sorry," he whispered, straightening his posture and shuffling back, "just don't want to get any on my trousers. they're designer." he chuckles to himself, meanwhile you are still bend over with his load filling your insides; fully exposed and panting.

"maybe i should've used a condom." he muses, playfully curling his fingers, resulting in an erotic moan departing from your lips.

lev laughs heartily, as though he had just cracked the funniest joke, "nah. raw's more fun." he yanks his fingers out, leaving you to feel the full force of his cum stirring within you, "who knows, maybe next time i come back here, there will a tiny version of me."

he places a final kiss to the nape of your neck before heading to pick up his shirt, "and i don't just mean tiny because of your genes."

[cursedxartist]

The lights in these rooms were always UNBEARABLY BRIGHT. The artist sat with their chin tucked ever so slightly downward, attempting to somewhat shield their sensitive eyes with thick bangs. Violet irises vibrated beneath squinted white lashes as they watched the man in silence, a florescent hum from above filling the air that their voice left vacant. It wasn't until they were prompted to speak did they bother to do so.

❝ Such is the subject of the investigation. ❞

Words were chosen with the UTMOST CARE, avoiding any vocabulary or gesture that could be as a yes, for unexpressed fear gnawed at their heart that such confirmations, however subtle, could be taken as admittance.

judgement!arcana starter | @cursedxartist​

“Let’s get this over with, shall we? I’m sure you don’t want to be here any more than I do.”

The prosecutor starts curtly as he sets his briefcase down on the table of the interrogation room, putting on his reading glasses before pulling out the case file on the teenage punk sitting across from him.

“Criminal trespass. Is that right, Swan-chan?”

[snekdood]

anyways

@sprinkledsalt

I literally showed up in two, you make plenty of other posts like this I dont engage with in this way. I dont believe generalizations are helpful and only alienate the people you're generalizing. if you wanna reach men, dont treat them all like they're the same guy and just as likely to do some shit as the kind of guys you're talking about. You dont have to make posts that say "not all men", but you also dont have to expect men to want to engage w something if they feel like they're being grouped in with the type of men you're talking about. You brought up the shooter statistics, so I wanted to start there since thats where you wanted to start.

We can talk about all the horrible things that (usually cis white) men do, but at the end of the day, are we attacking men as like a group or should we be attacking an ideology instead? because it often seems like people are just saying men as a whole are irredeemable trash and not giving any real options for how things could even change to begin with. endlessly critiquing isnt useful when theres not action to take.

I have no outrage towards you at all. The only reason I commented on this post is bc ik for a fact you specifically reblogged it bc of my tags on your other post. I wasn't gonna make a big deal out of it just wanted to share my like one sentence thought in the tags and otherwise had 0 issues with your post. But you reblogged this and if theres anything I hate more than anything its people who cant just be direct, so I decided to make it direct. The only outrage I have rn in regards to you is how you like to do shit indirectly.

If I felt like a person of color was trying to reach people but kept acting like white people were the bane of reality, then yeah, I might say something. if they're just making a personal post, then im not gonna say anything. your other post seemed like something you wanted shared.

and of course you have no answers. so why bring it up? I never said it was your responsibility, but if you ever wanna toss some fuckin ideas in the ring instead of endlessly critiquing like I said we're all ears over here.

[ericstoltz]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

[lemonhemlock]

Hello! What do you think of alicent being physically harsh with ty tennant's aegon? She abuses him (it felt like that to me) and then tells aegon that his sister is a dangerous person (which she is), but at that point rhaenyra hasn't done anything, and otto is not there to advise her also but she sees rhaenyra rightly as a legitimate threat. Then when we come to tgc aegon it's like she forgot that her children's lives are in danger and fights more for rhaenyra than her own children. By then she has seen first hand how dangerous rhaenyra is with aemond, vaemond, laenor etc.

Also olivia had told somewhere that alicent is thinking in eggs coronation how rhaenyra will not reconcile with her anymore. I mean why would you care about rhaenyra then. I dont mind people having affection for childhood friends but when said friend doesn't give a shit about your kids or your own mental and physical well-being then it becomes really pathetic and an unhealthy obsesion.

Im saying I'm so confused why she keeps flip-flopping. Why the heck is she on rhaenyra's side when her kids are more into protecting her than rhaenyra. She even forced aegon to accept his crown when he said no. (If they make her poison him for rhaenyra, she will be just so terrible)

The writing is making me insane. I want to get some clarity and i thought to ask you since you have such well thought out responses. Sorry for such a long question.

hey there. thank you for having faith in my abilities to make sense of this mess. i do take it as a compliment that you guys think to come to me for help whenever you're confused by smth or pondering an issue. 💌

so, i hope you won't feel too upset, but i'm going to redirect you to the relevant tags as i've been ranting about this quite a lot already and would just end up repeating myself.

long story short: it's inconsistent writing. each episode usually had a different writer & director, each with their different take on the characters. that's fine and all, but something happened there bc the people in charge (miguel??) didn't do a good enough job to smooth things over chronologically and make sure everyone is on the same page and that the character developments are linear.

that's why alicent is antagonistic and out to get rhaenyra one episode, then the next episode she wants to be bffs. that's why the showrunners say one thing to the media, but the actors say another. look at this through the perspective that they're not going to come out having a go at each other in the press because that would be unprofessional. so we're never gonna find out what miguel actually did for sure and who's responsible for all this mixed messaging.

as for alicent being physically harsh with ty's aegon. she is, as you said, alone at court, experiencing first hand viserys' indulgence & favouritism towards rhaenyra + his unwillingness to sanction her even for grave illegalities*, so that only increases her paranoia that her children are going to suffer the consequences of this. on top of /that/, aegon himself doesn't take this seriously and she has just found out he also colludes with rhaenyra's children (the people who will order his execution in the future, but he's too blind to see it now) and bullies his own brother (aka the one he could actually trust and support, but instead alienates). she goes to viserys first but he ignores her concerns again.

so i think she just snaps in that moment and loses patience with aegon. him wanking in the middle of the day in the tommen window doesn't help his case. now, alicent is not a modern mother living in the 21st century, with a whole literature of child development & psychology at her disposal, therapists and specialists to guide her. she also has her own trauma to deal with, no help on that front either. she can't "educate" herself. she is not going to be gentle parenting aegon lol. she uses what tools she has at her disposal: first talking nicely, that doesn't work, then she starts yelling and grabs his face so that he'll listen, bc what else is she supposed to do? she literally isn't conceptually aware of any other way to get her message across

*again, that's placing your bastards in the line of succession against their trueborn relatives, not having bastards in the first place

[babbity-boo]

15 QUESTIONS

tagged by @generatorcat (thankuu lovely!! 🫶💖)

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYBODY?

nope! my name was picked bc it was easy to pronouce in both my mum and dad's native languages!

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

abt a week ago when me and my best friend went to see Frozen w/ a live chorus and orchestra LOL

3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

no, thankuu

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?

i don't think so, but sometimes here and there i guess ahaha

5. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?

i did both swimming/surf life saving and karate as a kid ahaha i liked swimming a lot tho and i kinda wanna pick it up again (but its so cold rn.. 🥶) also sometimes i run!

6. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT SOMEONE?

this is gonna make me sound soooooo superficial but to be completely honest, its hair and make up...... probably bc i, myself, put a lot of time and effort in my own hair and make up and its always something i like getting complimented on (lol) so i just naturally gravitate towards it 😐 but i never ever judge ppl on how they style their hair/make up or if they don't wear any at all!! its just an interest of mine (and maybe some internalised misogyny i need to work through? idk lol) ((but sometimes its nice bc i can usually notice when someone gets a haircut even if its just a trim so i can easily compliment them on it even if they dont say anything!))

7. EYE COLOUR?

brown!

8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

i seriously cant choose, so both! i love spooky bloody things and i love cheesy corny things too ahahaha

9. ANY SPECIAL TALENTS?

not really! ive yet to discover any.. but thats ok i have my whole life time to 😆

10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

in a hospital

11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

reluctant to list drawing as a hobby since i havent drawn anything for fun lately 🥲 but i like eating a lot and trying new desserts, reading, wikipedia deep dives, window shopping, just wandering aimlessly around in places like the city or just my neighbourhood, tbh i dont do a lot ahaha

12. DO YOU HAVE PETS?

no, but i think id like one in like a decade or two when ive got my shit together and have figured myself out ahaha

13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

161 cm

14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

english and studio arts!

15. DREAM JOB?

i’ve never really had one, i think i used to dream of being an antique bookshop owner when i was younger ahaha but im trying to make something of a dream job through tattooing! i really enjoy it rn but it does get hard and overwhelming

tagging: @tiredbon @mawziee @amarkls @rolypolies ! (please dont feel pressured to do this lol)

[itsalwaysdark]

so close to being done with one step in the larger step in the larger step of the spreadsheet.

i ran out of space in the tags so im continuing them under the cut bc i wasnt finished... and if you let me finish i would of finshed my santance

anyways i have some countries like. the borders r pretty close to irl countries and i have them in my notes as x country but other ones i split them into like. just smaller subregions of the continent based on irl like. regions. like i split africa into . Madagascar + East Africa + Central Africa + Southern Africa + Western Africa + Northern Africa and its referenced off of maps where those r like. the recognized regions (well. madagascar is usually just counted as either east or southern africa but yk). but idk... im worried its a shitty thing 2 do i just dont know what else 2 do with it. maybe i should just use an actual world map instead since im going more realistic with like. the time periods and stuff. IDK i just rly wanna avoid the shit the sims does so much where it lumps a bunch of cultures together like. the chinese world in ts3 world adventures having a torii gate for the icon. -_- yk. the map was kinda superfluous anyway and more judt a way to visualize where the worlds we have were distributed + also was mostly influenced by that one ts4 mod which takes that more simplistic approach but maybe i can just step away from that and just go more realism based Its just hard bc i dont wanna like. lose the more like. silly isnt quite the word (itis kind of but not fully) ig i mean i dont wanna lose the abstraction kind of thing the sims has. but like. I am auite literally making a spreadsheet to get rid of some of the abstraction the sims has so what am i on about. IDK i just have been thinking abt it a lot basically... like sims im already making shit up and locking the sims to like real world history stuff it only makes sense to like. do the same thing with The world and not have it be abstracted. so yes that was a lot of words to say i think im just gonna move to thinking of the sims as living on Basically earth. In my personal the sims palace that ive made up. this is not to say i personally think of the sims as tkaing place on earth or anything ive just decided to do like. Bc this whole thing is basically an au im making anyway like. taking ts3 sims and making them be from the 1950s thats already Not what the game is like. so ill just make it a Realworld sims au. ok yay 👍 thats all sorry for talking sm abt something so pointless and also for not using a SINGLE paragraph break im basically just writing in this like i write in the tags (stream of consciousness) but the tags have the benefit of being naturally split up so yes i dont think anybody is reading this far. when i was little and playing skyward sword for the first time roughly 7-8 years old i got to the like trial on skyloft and i got so scared i smashed the cd so that i wouldnt have to do it . and then i blamed my dog for it. and i did this even tho lamp had JUST started a skyward sword playthru which idk if i knew at the time but i do feel rly guilty abt it. but i was rly scared. ok thats all

[freebooter4ever]

Opening Lines Game

rules:

list the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all)

see if there are any patterns

choose your favorite opening line

tag some people to play the next round

@stolperzunge tagged me ^_^ and i almost don’t want to know if i have any sort of first line trends because like...first/last lines are one of the reasons i idolize my favorite author like i do. Diana wynne jones is QUEEN of last lines and grabbing you in with the first sentence, i dont know how the hell she does it. But from the first time i started reading her books at age 11 till now, im still always thrown by how reading just the first paragraph pulls my ADHD brain in and won't let go. So yeah. I /wish/ my writing could do that lol.

Before i ramble i tag @aboutthatmelancholystorm and @badgerms and @edteche2@badgerms

OKAY distracting myself this evening with some good old escapism. I know it might not seem like i put a lot of effort or thought into my fanfic, but i totally do, so this was an interesting analysis of old writing. I also expanded it to be a ‘paragraph’ instead of a sentence because i am vain enough to think that some of my introductions had a very specific opening that kind of all went together. ANYWAY:

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“There's a gator living in Eugene Sledge's  New York apartment. The creature moved in along with Eugene's newest roommate. It's pretty weird, seeing a slimy green thing lying on his hardwood floor.”

I liked how with a lot of these you can immediately get a sense of the whole fic - like we have the gator the main driving plot haha, we have eugene starting out vaguely repulsed by but strangely comfortable with snafu. And thats pretty much the whole story

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“Snafu shows up on Eugene's doorstep one morning in the late August heat - hat in hand and heart on his sleeve.”

I’m pretty sure I completely stole this whole sentence from somewhere but its so southern and exactly what the whole story is about that i dont know how else it could have began. Its all just snafu trying to win eugene back no matter what cost.

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“The back of the caboose is as deserted as Snafu expects it to be.”

This one is boring, and im not sure what i would change to make it better. Like it tells me nothing about the rest of the story..but at the same time i kinda dont think the rest of the story was about much other than just ‘now kiss’ hahaha.

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“While resting on Pavuvu after the battle at the airfield, Snafu and Eugene use coconut duty as an excuse to spend three days exploring.”

another boring one, meh

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“Snafu becomes Eugene's designated "best buddy" during the mandatory extended vacation that is occupation duty in China. It drives Snafu insane. Whenever Eugene turns to the guys in their company and asks, "Hey, anyone want to go see…?" and details his plans to go explore yet another cultural site, all eyes turn toward Snafu, as if he's the one relegated to this duty.”

I still have a soft spot for this one, bc ive always loved being someone's ‘default’ person and thats kinda what this one is about.

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“Two years into grad school Eugene decides he needs a proper vacation. The only reason Snafu knows this is because Eugene also decides Snafu is the person he's gonna vacation with. And apparently Snafu has no say in this decision”

yup more of the default person theme

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“Eugene can always tell when Snafu starts feeling restless. His eyes are the first clue. Snafu stares and doesn't stop till Eugene looks back. It's usually a blank stare, Eugene can never tell what Snafu's thinking.  But it only takes one returning glance from Eugene to settle the hectic business going on in Snafu's mind. Then Snafu quiets down for about an hour or so. Until he gets bored, and the staring starts back up again.”

This fic was 100% about attention issues and inspired by this one moment with nick on opening night during his moonlighting as a technical director and he was so nervous he kept click click clicking the pen and fidgeting and wanting to calm him i gently tugged the pen out of his hand, and it was only later i realized that i didnt do anything to help i just took the pen away. So i guess this was me imagining a scenario where calming attempts actually help and are not just taking the pen away.

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“The doctor says if I refuse to communicate verbally, I need to write how I feel instead.”

this fic is so personal i dont even know where to start - i think the writing suffered from that too though, there were sections i really liked because they were entertaining or sections that really got across the anger and pain i sometimes remember viscerally but overall it wasnt like...a good story? I guess?

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“Eugene is lying in bed reading after a long gruelling day of grading papers for the freshman biology class he TA's, when he hears the signature squeak of his living room window being slid open.”

ok i love this one, because immediately it gets across all the things that are going to happen - snafu breaking into eugene's apartment in an unsettling way, the fact that this is a common occurrance, the grad student AU. The fact that eugene is calmly reading and has no reaction to snafu breaking in because he already expects it and welcomes it lol.

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“Snafu doesn't understand civilian life. The things most of his neighbors consider commonplace - well balanced meals, regular showers, polite conversation, underwear - Snafu no longer has the patience for. He was never a good civilian before the war, and he's an even worse one after. Not like Eugene with his perfect manners, and stalwart ideals, and easy conversation. If Snafu imagines a model upstanding citizen, Eugene Sledge's face is the first to pop into mind. A deep indefatigable ache comes with it.”

yeah this definitely has no personal baggage attached to it no way lol. Snafu putting eugene on a pedestal and eugene kicking that shit over so he can sit in the dirt with snaf.

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“Whenever faced with impending mental anguish and indecisiveness, Snafu retreats to the peace and quiet of his Captain's Quarters and surrounds himself with all his favorite maps.”

Rereading this i feel like its a little out of character for snafu but t hen again this version is a pirate so who knows

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“Snafu wants to get a rise out of Sledge from the very first minute he meets him.”

This one is meh just cause its so non specific. It describes basically my core sledgefu shipping belief. :P

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“Jesse McCree is a creature of habit. He wears a very specific pair of socks to bed every night. Handknit socks made from the softest, highest quality merino wool. Every time he wiggles his feet in those socks, Jesse remembers that there is  real  warmth somewhere out there. The kind of heat that warms your insides and doesn’t fade away. Even if he is currently stuck in a subzero wasteland, where snow accumulates by the hour.”

jesse's laundromat and bowling sock story will always hold a special place in my heart. This was an answer to a friend's twitter delimma of having lost their hanzo sock...so i had to address the prompt immediately and explain why it was so important to jesse that i write an entire story about his damn sock lol. Also this whole story was written my first winter in LA when i was missing the cold ice of the midwest so.

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“This is not planned. All Jesse knows is one minute he’s thoroughly enjoying the day’s entertainment and the next he’s yellin’ something about a man’s mama, hopping over one of the little wooden rails that divide up the audience, and landing smack in the middle of a brawl. A brawl that doesn’t end until he’s at the top of the heap, holding onto someone’s leg, and grinning proudly in the direction of the stage.”

this fic is my masterpiece :P jesse fighting to win hanzo's favor and hanzo looking on disdainfully like ‘god youre a dumb cowboy’. With lots of weird references to actual historical facts and mark twain's parody of that time periods world travelers.

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“Mitchell hates rain almost as much as sun. No matter how many layers he wears, the cold and damp seeps underneath the parka, underneath the gloves, underneath the boots, and gets into his bones. It pours on his way from work to his car, and pours from the car to home. He never brings an umbrella. Only tourists carry umbrellas.”

yeah i definitely wrote this one when i was missing seattle. The intro doesnt even mention annie...i feel like it was lackluster.

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“"I'm bored," Kili scratches the back of his neck with a celery stick leftover from dinner, "Hobbits are pleasant, men are bearable, wizards entertaining, and trolls nasty, but elves," he uses the celery to clean an ear, "are boring."

Ok i take back what i said earlier THIS is my masterpiece. I will NEVER write a sentence as good as this one. I will NEVER AGAIN create a metaphor as brilliant as the stuffed rabbit in a glass case. I have peaked as a writer with lord of the rings fanfic and that is my curse and blessing.

[yourfriendlyenby]

appears

yes hi hello I saw ur classpecting hermits post and I have many thoughts,

1. voidrot mumbo is So Good like genuinely i feel people dont touch on the troll lore hiveswap gave us all that much so to see it has me frothing at the mouth

2. rainbow drinker Cleo is just so cool, Cleo gets to glow, as a treat OH AND with purpleblood joe they could have an agreement where joe from a moral stand point doesnt like killing but like feferi hes okay with doing it out of necessity and to help a friend (which in turn helps him but he doesnt like to think about it)

3. okay I'm going to seem like im just saying this bc yellow is impulses thing but goldblood impulse would honestly make more sense? mostly because he is a redstoner before builder and hes not the best at pvp (applicable bc indigobloods are known for strength over most other things) also as a nod to s8 his colors could be purple and yellow

3b. actually tbh the longer I think about it the more okay I am with him being an indigoblood actually but I still wanna throw my 2 cents out there

4. scar should be an oliveblood purely because certain bloods tend to have certain lusii and his lusii should be a big jellie also because I think it fits trickster personality :]

5. TEALBLOOD CUB Bro. tealblood cub thats so smart and Perfect I literally cannot explain how much i love that cub has Strong tagora vibes so it just Fits

okay anywyas sorry for just. dropping a shit ton of words on u I was hyperfixated on homestuck for like at least 4 years then hermitcraft for the last 2 so my brain just went crazy

Oh dang uhh

First of all thanks for sending me an ask since I don't usually have those XD I'll put a somewhat organized list of my thoughts and such

I added voidrot Mumbo not because I was going through Hiveswap lore but because I was going through Subgrubs and Snazzards since someone in the tags of my post told me about that, and as soon as I read that description I was like "oh Mumbo definitely sounds like someone who'd say 'I'm dying constantly all the time' not even as a troll just in general"

I added rainbow drinker Cleo because 1) rainbow drinkers are described as like vampires and vampires are undead, and so are zombies so yeah. 2) because yeah Cleo deserves to glow and drink blood as a treat. Idk too much about what you said about Joe so I'm just gonna nod and smile

Now with Impulse I'd have to agree a bit about how he'd be gold since that's sort of his color as well as being sort of tech-based, but 1) I tried using the gold color given when I was trying to draw characters and oh my gosh why is it like that I want to use it as sparingly as possible I need help in a good shade, 2) I wanted to reference the original fanart in my post and Impulse was an indigoblood there. Obviously there are better reasons but I'm not too far deep into Homestuck to know what they are

Olivebloods are stated to be more comfortable with things they are familiar with and are alarmed by new ideas. We never see this in Scar, he actively embraces changes to keep things fresh each season. And indigobloods are actually stated to be sporadic and change often, careless, and surprise friends often which are all things we see in Scar a LOT. And also they said that, and I quote, "being around a well-adjusted indigoblood is always a good time" which I mean like. Cmon. I can't say no to that. Although I will say the whole lusus thing might've swayed me a little but shhhhhhh we can make our own canon and I didn't have time to think of lusus and also they had a trend to just die a lot and I don't want that for Jellie soooo

I literally just based off tealblood Cub after the original fanart I have no idea what tealblood's deal is, so if anyone has an idea as to why tealblood Cub is good please let me know

Anyways, for putting up with my rambling, have a wip for something I'm doing for 413 :D

[canolaaoil]

(From the coffee post tags)

Do you prefer cow milk or milk alternatives? Do you have a big coffee chain you prefer or do you like local shops more? And do you prefer to make your own coffee?

(Feel free to ignore if you want)

i love u for this

i usually go for whole milk bc i just think whole milk and coffee go together, BUT i also like oat in coffees- im not lactose intolerant at all, its like, the one digestive problem i dont have so i like to Enjoy That Fact.

also i’ve never had a good experience w almond milk and coffee whether i was drinking it or making it, it doesn’t foam the way you want milk to foam and its almost always too sweet and the wrong consistency imo. i think almond milk goes best in cereal as an alternative not in coffee. (idk y the world turned away from soy tho.)

And. i do not see the point of lowfat/nonfat, (esp as a diabetic) bc that’s actually more sugar and its more watery so worse foam for hot drinks. “lowfat sugar free vanilla latte” fuck off just get an americano if ur that worried about the sugar.

chain-wise i fuck w/ peets bc its pretty good coffee for the cost point, and i actually work at blue bottle which is subsequently where i get most of my coffee-but they’re owned by nestle so im not going to sing their praises

back in my hometown there aren’t really any coffeeplaces At All, there was the one i worked at which closes in the fall, and one other that was like on the other side of town so i just made my own. here in the bay tho there’s coffeeshops practically every few hundred feet so if i’m not working i just walk down the street and see what’s open lol.

i do like making my own coffees if im at home but its also really nice when other ppl make it for me like at work.

most of the time i do make my own coffee tho. i like to get medium or light roasts, my main beloved brand is lavazza, -super crema if i can find it and la tierra if i can’t. buying a whole bag of beans is a real commitment bc like, im one person and if i dont like it thats My Whole Month so i spend a long time smelling the beans in the store.

i dont really have an opinion on whole bean/grounded but like, if i can get whole bean i will. i just get A Little Nervous when im using grinders in public like oh fuck they’re gonna arrest me for grinding these beans in the store

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[unironicduncanstan]

Total Drama Music Camp AU - playlist / performance ideas

here she is,,,, the cursed secret texts,,,,, the total drama music camp playlist , along with some short explanations below, cringe city bitch (most of these are just covers that i feel are the closest to the performance Style id imagine for these characters and not necessarily the exact sound but u feel me) also i went back and tagged my previous posts abt this concept with “td music camp au” so if you dont know what the helling fuck im talking abt plz have a gander xoxo

link: youtube .com/playlist?list=PL-bPcaq3ZK2L682RHPauxrsFIPvGJdsiM (space is there so tumblr hopefully doesnt nerf me from the tag 🥺 )

Some Nights - ok so first weeks challenge. i feel like chris would just want them to all collab together on one huge group performance. kinda like on the first day of school when they make you do the ‘get to know you’ tests. idk exactly who would sing what parts tho bc there are so many so let your imagination run wild !!

Hand crushed by a mallet - ok. OKYAY. im a home of sexual. but this is a Cody, Trent, Tyler, Harold and Izzy song. Cody is on vocals (especially the rap in this version shdofsgjsk), Trent is on guitar and some vocals (does some back and forth with him during the rap), Tyler is on drums (and does that one tiny background screamy bit towards the end), Izzy and Harold are joined up on creating the background track and DJing the whole thing. the distortion/choppy part at the end is izzy LIVE going ape on the audio level sliders. its one of the most energetic performances of the whole series and surprises everyone including the group themselves

Misery Business - Duncan on vocals and guitar, Geoff on drums, Trent also on guitar and maybe some backup vocals. you all know i chose that bc i love associating mgk with duncan but. i rly like this idea actually ;;

Paparazzi - ezekiel. idk who the fuck else except maybe justin bc he’d dance that shit to death. i will not apologize thats Him and its fire but you may write and send any formal complaints to my po box. ill roll a blunt with them,

Pom Pom - Lindsay, Heather, Sadie+Katie, and Izzy. Lindsay and Heather are on vocals, sharing the chorus and each getting a solo verse, and ofc izzy does the weird rap part towards the end, and most of the background track. they all thought they were stuck with izzy but izzy is stuck with these preps. Sadie and Katie are on backup vocals, but their role in this one is mostly dancing and adding ✨ stage presence. 

Maps - Trent is on the guitar and male vocals while Courtney is on the female vocals (the ~top two performers~ gotta have a song together eventually right), DJ on drums, Bridgette on piano. Heather, Lindsay, Justin, and Leshawna are dancers bc lbr the dance from the video is pretty good for a group number

CREEPER? AW MAN - ok this one. is kind of a joke but wouldnt it be rly hilarious if cody, ezekiel, and harold did this one mostly for fun and the whole second part with the existential breakdown was just. used with on stage satire to make fun of chris for being old or smth. like would they suffer that week, yes, would it be worth it, Y E S, 

Shatter me - Eva, Courtney, Gwen, Beth. QwQ Eva’s on vocals for the first time and rocks it, Courtney is on violin, Gwen on drums, and Beth uses her instruments to make a background track before the performance so she can do stage tech/DJ stuff. oh also justin should be on this one bc i want. those costumes from t he vi deo, 

Chop suey - Lindsay and Courtney on vocals (LMAOSJFkSF listen. we love contrast queens that stun the crowd), Duncan on guitar, Eva on drums (and a lot of background screaming to help the Vibe Tee Em)

Unwritten - Leshawna and Trent? ik its a weird combo but i think they’d kill this

Shake it - GEOFF LMFAOGHJKgjfdG

White Winter Hymnal - Lindsay as Kirstie, Noah probably as Avi even tho we all know he can’t sing that fuckgin low. and idk my other 3 bros as Cody, Tyler and Ezekiel. truly iconique group

Forget me too - QWQ DUNCAN AND COURTNEY ,,,,,,,,,,,, i dont apoloigze for the second mgk = duncan pick, anyways duncans also on guitar, gwen on drums (there is no love triangle in this au btw. the only reason theyre singing this song is bc of the regular ~tension~ that u see in like tdi but its just for the stage mostly. as soon as the songs over they would hug and cheer abt it)

Simple and Clean - Bridgette on singing, Gwen on piano, DJ on drums, Beth on general stage stuff + creates the backtrack with Bridgette's harmonies overlayed

Mr. Brightside - OWEN ON THE BRASS YES BBY ITS HIS TIME 2 FUCKIENG SHINE, Geoff on drums, Gwen begrudgingly on piano, Noah is on vocals and they have to literally bribe him with everything they HAVE to get him to try and sing this way. and he does it and it aint too shabby but he will never do it again

Domino - Leshawna on vocals (again these choices are all, based on general vibe and style and not necessarily voice, this is a tiny white girl singing,), Tyler on drums, Duncan on guitar. energy to the max babey the speakers are gonna blow the fuck out on this one

Starships - KATIE AND SADIE GET TO BE A MAIN DUO !!! they alternate lines , with courtney on violin, izzy on that synthy backtrack, and justin is involved in this one bc id change just a couple of things abt the music video costumes for these characters but like. [grabby hands] gimme

Bulletproof - ezekiel vibes.....? izzy and harold get to team up again for the backtrack. weird kids only karaoke night

The Wolves And The Ravens - 🥺 a geoff and bridgette songk,,,,, 

Never Enough Praying (Mashup) - Courtney on Praying, Heather on Never Enough, Beth and Izzy end up together on the background stuff and make a rly nice track actually

Gasoline - bitch. you know what im gonna say but duncans on vocals, Tyler on guitar, Geoff on drums, Ezekiels on track

Better not wake the baby - Noah gets to sing a song that actually matches his style a tiny bit better lol, DJ on drums, Trent on guitar, and i feel like beth is the only one with any hope of figuring out the accordion keyboard thing thats in the background

This is Gospel - Gwen on piano and Trent on vocals. really the music video is the most important part for me bc i think a challenge where oyu have to sing a really intense emotional song while chris gets to dump shit down on your head from the ceiling of the stage. sounds perfect,

Wildest Dreams - codys on vocals bc god i am Obsessed with this cover being a bisexuality / coming out song . everybody thinks hes just regular simping and being his usual fuccboi self when he chooses this song till he gets to those Very Intentionally Unchanged Pronouns that he sings a little too enthusiastically hhhshHDSHHHSDH , also DJ on drums and Tyler on guitar

Happier - Bridgette solo ! 

Stay - Courtney on guitar and vocals, Dj and Harold are on the hand drum shit. once again i live for the ‘unlikely group actually works together and rocks it’ stuff. courtney as always has talent and enjoys what she does but harold and dj kind of steal the show with how in sync and energetic they are abt it lmfaodghd

[steponmepinkjun]

ok ok these are the Questionable Local Felix rumours ive gathered but i cant stress enough to take this with a Massive grain of salt bc it was never from the source themselves. 1) felix is a weeb and used to call his fav anime girls his waifus. this one i wholeheartedly believe imo i see it. i can feel it. he was probably a mikasa stan. im projecting shut up. 2) he lost his v-card at 14... im not gonna elaborate on that one for obvious reasons, im just gonna say me too bro we livin this whore life together✨3) he was a kik kid. this one is actually confirmed as true mf had his old kik profile pic leaked and it looks like every 12 year old fuckboi wannabe ever its the Funniest thing ever. i cant rmb any of the others but ill come back to you if i do

chan thot wbk we all heard the moaning in the back of tiktok and then theres just wow as a whole. tag yourself im the one bitch who he called pretty during the predebut 3racha live stage of id:a and started screeching belligerently.

literally Dont Even Get Me Started on the whitewashing in the kpop industry. im a tanned skin asian myself and it just makes me ::::'))) they be whitewashing entire videos not just photos and using makeup and skin brightening creams and its horrible. its seriously horrible. ppl often make fun of darker skinned idols too... "hurl a bottle of makeup remover like a molotov cocktail" PLEASEEE that sent me but youre so right for this take tho. men w makeup outsold. like the makeup from the victory song mama stage? UGHHH PLEASE. makeup artist felix when. i literally know nothing about makeup bc im trans and femininity usually makes me dysphoric (but also i wanna get into makeup highkey? i just dont want it to make me look like a girl?) but like i am So Here For It.

anyway here's a thread of unwhitewashed skz for the soul: https://twitter. com/aintcheww/status/1338395728620605440?s=20 and here's a thread of felix's freckles: https://twitter. com/Bllack98/status/1390808708544925696?s=20 as u can see they often only show his cheek freckles but it does down to his ears and theyre adorable. im in love with this man -felix bi anon

I just know in my heart, in my heart of hearts, deep in my soul, that these are all true 😂.🙊 Because if I was gorgeous, talented, charismatic, and ever had even a single occasion to show up in a head-to-toe sky blue suit decked out w the gold rolex, even once, even as a joke, I too would show up to life every day going, "Yeah, I could steal your girlfriend AND your boyfriend in the short moment while the next episode of this fuckin anime is loading. What of it? You can't touch this. Hi, flop 😚" with my fuckin deep ass voice, and then just fuckin dance my lil ass off into the sunset. Would you not, if it was you?! I'd be up in EVERYONE'S dms with the unbearable fuckboy energy, giving that lip bite jaw stroke shit, and STILL winning. STILL serving, as he should 😂 I feel like there is an energy to predbut pics of him that I actually relate to, he just seems (to me) like this very bright, very sensitive kid, kind of not really sure how to channel that and definitely having success in how he's perceived but not really letting his true vulnerability or creativity shine through... And I think that's very much what adolescence is about, I mean they are literally still kids, they are all SO young, I could give them very much "back in my day" lectures as I hobble in with my cane and my bad back and my outdated slang, they're that much Fetuses in my eyes as the resident old ass bitch 😂 but I do relate to the way I feel like as time as gone on his sense of self and confidence in his own abilities and identity has just completely started to shine through, so as someone who sort of looks at all the kids with this benevolent, protective energy as well as acknowledging how fabulous they all are—the way you hype your friends up, like YAAAS BITCH, give it to them! Let them have it! Also I love you and would ride out for you! Very THAT energy—I feel like there's a growth w Felix that is very palpable and is really heartwarming to see. But at the same time I also know deep in my soul that Felix was that kid that worked part time at Abercrombie & Fitch—not Hollister cause Hollister was the broke bitch alternative to A&F if you were a bitch that had money 😂—and would curate the store playlists, be too busy talking w his friends to greet customers, and audibly sigh when someone rifled through the table of denim he just folded immaculately (same bestie 😔) before getting froyo with his work besties in the food court and using it as an opportunity to flex on everyone who didn't have the newest statement tee that he bought w his employee discount. He also defo got the job because he couldve been one of the iconic A&F models himself and always reeks of the cologne they spray on all the clothes in store. And none of that is a read, it is a FACT 😂😭 I also live for Chan giving us whole entire golden retriever energy, as well as exhausted mom of seven no braincell havin ass children, on top of Business Professional, Sickening on the Sales Floor Business Fish, inspiring motivational poster at the dentists office energy, at the same time as SIR WHO TAUGHT YOU TO MOVE LIKE THAT 😳, and then on top of it all whatever that is thats been coming to light on my fyp these days 😳 bitch idk wtf an eshay is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

(sidenote I s2g if I was that girl at that show that he called pretty my heart would have leapt out of my chest cavity like it was fuckin fire drill and they would have had to close down the whole venue while they waited for the coroner, I would NOT BE OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

I literally cry at Chan being like "oh no I'm barefaced" like SIR. I want you to go sit in a corner and think about what you've done. I will pick your short ass up by the scruff of your neck and throw you out the damn window. Knowing DAMN WELL they all gorgeous NO FUCKIN FILTER, meanwhile I'm sitting there entombed in blankets like a fuckin earthworm, bags under my eyes like I work at Prada Marfa, body shaped like a refrigerator, adult acne signing into the chat every chance she gets, double AND triple chin reporting for duty, hairline RUNNIN from my face like it's got a warrant, giving very much Danny Devito as The Penguin teas 🙄🙄🙄 like sir I will shove a falcon wing up your fly ass 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Like hello hi hello sir from the uggos, we see you and your crew and REJECT you from the club, none of yall qualify on your worst day, goodbye, dismissed, case adjourned, bring in the dancing lobsters 🙄 if I was that pretty YOU COULDN'T TELL ME SHIT. I would be UNTOUCHABLE. Idk man I mean like I see the difference in the beauty standard socially, but I hope that tide turns and shit changes, it makes me sad and it's so harmful.

I always felt a little out of place in the makeup world because, at the time, when I was coming up trying to learn shit it wasn't like it is now where there's respect for creative freedom and there's a niche for every style. It was like, if you wanted to learn to do makeup, there was a Right Way to do it and that meant worshiping Kevin Aucoin and Bobbi Brown books like the bible and making every look the standard of Flawless, Effortlessly Eurocentric Youth-Fetishizing 90's Supermodel Minimalism. I wanted to create looks that felt inspired and were performance art and statement pieces, my personal aspiration with my looks was that like... I wanted to achieve something beyond the banal of being human. I wanted to look like a fucking alien, I wanted people to see my makeup and go "I don't know what the fuck that is but it's confusing and scary and I am feeling Emotions about it" but there wasn't room for that, not in the spaces I found online but especially not in the irl world of makeup around me. I saw makeup and fashion as a tool to take control of the way the world experienced me, I wanted to transcend the petty rules of peoples perceptions of me, but... Idk. I wish I could rediscover that passion for makeup as a medium and the human body as a canvas, but... Idk. I'm a tired old bitch now and I can't be bothered anymore. I don't even wanna be perceived at this point and any form of self expression that falls short of an invisibility cloak is falling short of the goal lmfaoooooooo 😂 ugh how depressing! Not the mood. But ANYWAYS I completely live for the boys and in my head Felix is literally four inches tall and could fit into my shirt pocket, I mentally picture him as the epitome of Pampered Smol, and no one can convince me otherwise, the boy is Tiny, a Petito, a Micro, a Wee Bern. If I even begin to approach the absolute hysteria that thinking of Lee Felix Ear Freckles would cause me I will absolutely collapse and once I am revived with smelling salts I will need to be sent to the seaside for the season to recover 👌

[inosukeslefttoe]

so,,, yesterday i read this manhwa called “the horizon” (i forget the author but ill put them in the tags) and good god... it was so heartbreakingly beautiful and im gonna make a few posts about it B) ((i say a few bc theres a few things i wanna talk about but i dont wanna make it all unorganized ?? if that makes sense))

first theres just the amazing artwork done in this piece... the range is just fucking incredible and every single panel had so much work and heart put into it and i had to sit there just to really admire the art of each page for a long time (usually im an impatient little bitch and skim artwork in manga/manhwa but damn this one was something else). but like !! look at how many different styles and shit the artist did depending on the circumstances !! 

oh if i didnt mention,, this manhwa is like an apocalyptic world where this little boy meets a little girl and they just sort of roam the world together right... but they come across so many terrible things and theres this back and forth between hope and despair and everytime you start to be like “hey maybe things will be good for them, or at least as good as they can be” the tiniest thing happens that just shatters all that hope to the ground and suddenly everything is lost again. it really reminds me of this book i read for english called the road by uh.. something mccarthy i think... and it was about a boy and his dad trying to survive and walk down a road together in a post apocalyptic world and it was also sad as shit. BUT IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. BACK TO THE ARTWORK.

so thE RANGE OF STYLES YES THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. as i already said, its just this whole rollercoaster of emotions but it really forces you to sit there and fucking f e e l your emotions yknow? it makes it impossible to just sit there and be like “lol damn thats sad” ,, the art and the layout are so shocking and stunning that you h a v e to sit there and admire them and think about the events and really just feel every ounce of emotion and loss that the characters are going through and that the artist put into this piece. it did this thing where it would sometimes stretch on for a few pages of just the same frame with tiny differences just taking up the whole page without any words/little words to let the magnitude of the situation sink in and envelope you. its so powerful with its message especially with the themes of hope and loss and it just... usually i keep pop culture/anime/manhwa feels separate from my irl feels but... dude this one was so fuckin amazing that i genuinely had to take a break a few times bc the feels were getting all mixed up and i genuinely felt that sorrow that the characters were feeling. i seriously wanna read this again actually so i focus more on the amazing art since i know the story already.

i just love how much it switches up from all the different looks too. sometimes it would have that classic anime/manhwa feel to it especially when there were lots of characters (i didnt include a sc for that oops) but a lot of the time it would focus on the beauty/emptiness of the landscape around the characters since there wasnt really much left in the world. there were a lot of gruesome scenes drawn in that sort of chalky/charcoaly look that involved death and i am just obsessed with how they made it look so organic and like it was actually, yknow decomposing. they also used a really messy scribbly style when super chaotically terrible things where happening, both externally and internally which was such a perfect reflection of those bundled up negative and hopeless emotions that were present throughout the story. it sort of made it seem like those things were simply too horrible to be drawn fully and even the artist couldnt subject the reader to such a terrible sight. also ... the use of color... usually they would use color to represent the presence of hope and damn dude it really worked... especially after seeing some of these same images consecutively and that dramatic change really makes the reader feel so much brighter and happier when hope is back in the story !! although that one other colored scene... where the boy is in the ocean... god that hurts my heart so badly... i think the color was used in that case to show the reality of his situation and that it was really r e a l yknow ??? it wasnt just a comic written to make ppl sad and thinking about death,, this is that kids whole LIFE and he had to accept the (bad thing that happened but im not gonna write it bc i dont wanna spoil) was something that happened and now he really had no reason to keep on living... and all these feelings are so wonderfully portrayed and definitely did a very good job of making me, the reader, Very Sad. 

HAHA I DIDNT WANT THIS TO BE TOO LONG BUT I RAMBLED LMAO... ill prolly make one or two more posts about this but they wont nearly be as long dont worry

1-6-21

[mycelier]

My name is Simone and I would like to tell you a tale!

I will not have access to my laptop for some days more and because writing on my phone is kind of painful (physically, because I am working on hand mobility now), this may end up in drafts and taking a while to post. I am going to share what has been happening the last 2 months because I feel like everything went from 0 to 100 in the span of a few weeks and its been really, really wild.

So!!! LETTUCE begin!

For roughly 5 years I've been struggling to get a diagnosis on an extremely painful area of my arm. There was literally nothing visible; no lump, discoloration or any other physical abnormality to indicate anything was wrong. I spent thousands on pretty much every kind of imaging you can do, and was told time and time again that there was nothing wrong and, perhaps, it was psychosomatic and I needed therapy or, more often than not, I was given a shrug and a vague "i dunno" response.

This year, something changed. I deal with chronic pain (my spine is congenitally fused in my neck and lower spine and I have baby bone spurs all over), and in the process of trying to work on that I brought up my arm again to a dr I no longer see. He'd told me my arm was SEVERAL things over the years I had been seeing him but this time said it was a fibromyalgia knot, something I had been told by a team of doctors some time before that. I said okay cool and was sent to a physical therapy rehab center where the dr worked with myofascial release and stretches to help with injuries. This amazing man fixed my plantar fasciitis and helped get my chronic headaches under control but NOTHING we did helped my arm pain. Within a month he was worried bc we had started to notice that there was a hardness to the spot that never changed with any exercise or massage.

Worried that there was a nerve being trapped or crushed (another diagnosis I'd gotten over the years), this amazing man sent me to a neurosurgeon who immediately frowned and said he didn't think my neck pain and my arm pain were connected. He ordered an MRI of my arm and despite it not being visible on an MRI 2 years before, he found something PHYSICALLY THERE where I said I had pain. He considered doing the surgery to remove it (despite being a neurosurgeon he was fascinated with this weird horribly painful spot) but eventually sent me a surgeon for an oncology center, assuring me it was because this new surgeon was one of the best in Texas for removing soft tissue tumors, not because there was any thought of cancer.

I met with the surgeon who gave me one more diagnosis of an AVM (arteriovenous malformation), snd said they were benign and not necessary to remove as well as the possibility that if removed it would likely return. Truly, at this point after 5 years of constant nauseating horric pain when someone brushed against me or if I gently brushed against ANYRHING, a pain so bad that it had basically made me stop using my right arm as much as possible (of course I'm right handed lol), I said GET THAT FUCKER OUT OF THERE MAN and my first surgery was scheduled.

Surgery one occurred Nov 5th and was an out patient event. I went home and passed out. At some point my mom said that while I'd been in recovery the dr said the thing in my arm hadn't looked like what he expected so he had sent it to pathology. I went back to work and was hanging out until the Tuesday before Thanksgiving when I went in for a super immediate meeting with a different doctor who told me that what had been in my arm was a synovial sarcoma, aka, cancer! He, this incredibly kind man I did not know, gently discussed chemo and told me I needed to have a CT scan immediately. Based on the CT, i was either in stage one or stage four if it has spread to lungs. The day before Thanksgiving I received the news that it was stage one, it had not spread, and i was so fucking happy.

Then it was time talk about next steps. My surgeon marked out a circle on my arm to indicate how much he was gonna remove in order to guarantee clear margins..but it was not enough of a meeting for me to grasp the surgery I was about to receive.

The day of my second surgery, dec 8th, came quickly and i met with the plastic surgeon, the kindest, most patient man. He moved my arm around and explained how he was going to hijack a vein from my forearm in order to keep the blood flow health to the flap he was gonna take from the donor site: My inner thigh.

It has been 11 days and I am living in an inpatient rehab facility, working on dealing with the nerve damage/pain, the EXTREME pain of my donor site, and the lost mobility that I am working on getting back, both in my leg and my hand. The majorities of my arm is numb...except where the nerve pain burns my wrist and forearm and makes it painful to wear my arm sling (I can't fully extend my arm, nor can I lift, push, pull or use my arm in any way that would stress out my new arm flap). Also may have a brand new urinary tract infection but as I write this I'm chugging water for a urine sample to hopefully get that treated. Below are some pictures I have taken/had taken of my arm! Im not ready to look at my leg outside of the bandages (which, since having the wound vac removed today, hell yeah, will need daily dressing changes).

EDIT: I tried posting pictures of my arm last night and my post disappeared immediately so I will try to make a new post with these photos in case the whole post was erased because of them. I will tag them as post surgery photos. I do not consider them gory or excessive but hey that's just me.

I intend to post more things as I keep healing and as I gain more mobility. I was given "independence" in my room yesterday which means I can officially get up without any assistance needed (using my badass new cane to help me lift my foot in and out of bed)!!!! Which also means I can get up whenever I want without the bed alarm going off. I have a badass cane that has been the best tool in helping me get around (and has inspired my mom and others to suggest and look into getting me a cane sword which makes me laugh REAL hard). See below me using the cane to move my foot in and out of bed!

Part of why I'm posting this is because I really needed to talk about it and while later posts may not be this long or expository but I wanted to have a base post to explain other ones related to this one!!!

I will update with some newer pics tomorrow night when my mom comes by to help me take newer pics. The arm flap looks super healthy (according to the drs), and when they changed my leg dressing they said its looking really good and healthy!

I......also really wanted to post my Amazon wishlist. Due to this stupid wild bad lottery ticket, I've been struggling to pay my bills and rent but!!! I have good insurance, thankfully (since I live in the US and my hospital stay and this rehab stay would have more than bankrupted me), and im hoping my disability checks will get here in time for rent!!! I'm putting up my wishlist bc I can't afford some of the "essentials" on there and, also, because I havent been able to have any kind of comfort during any of this. I never ask for anything for holidays because usually i...dont want to burden people with spending money on me since I know how hard money is, especially right now. And if I don't have enough for rent later I might have to create a go fund me...but right now everything looks good for rent and bills just...not for anything fun.

Thank you so much for your time!!! And happy holidays you wild bastards!!!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/36PG6BAYD18U7?ref_=wl_share

[doctormage]

ok as promised here's my whole thedosian astrology spiral in one big post

underneath a read more bc i love you all

starting w my tags from the first post bc context:

#bc i saw a post that put the zodiac seasons (for thedas) roughly from the 20th of one month to the 20th of the next #like it is irl #but the zodiac seasons coincide w the actual seasons #the start of aries season is the vernal equinox #the start of cancer season is the summer solstice #the start of libra season is the autumnal equinox #the start of capricorn season is the winter solstice #and (to my knowledge??) the seasons in thedas start with their annum holidays or whatever #wintersend = beginning of spring #summerday = beginning of summer #all souls day = beginning of fall #satinalia = beginning of winter #(someone PLEASE correct me if im wrong on that) #well i know summerday and satinalia are right but #ANYWAY #using that logic the zodiac seasons would also start on those days #thedas-aries season would run from the 1st to the 30th of guardian #thedas-taurus would be 1-30 drakonis #thedas-gemini would be 1-30 cloudreach #so that thedas-cancer aka the start of summer aka summerday aka THE FIRST OF BLOOMINGTIDE #kSLFdfslkdFDKs #anyway. now i have to be Right about this#my previous hyperfixation and my current one.....coming together....to make me into a Massive Bitch<3

when would the zodiac signs' seasons take place in the thedosian calendar?

so bc the zodiac signs are based on constellations and all the lore etc that accompanies them i'm not even gonna touch that (YET.....yet...) but since spring, summer, autumn, and winter start on the first days of guardian, bloomingtide, august, and firstfall, respectively, so would those particular seasons of the zodiac

thedas-equivalent-of-aries season would just be 1-30 guardian, bc irl the beginning of aries season coincides with the beginning of spring and continues until the sun moves into taurus; all the cardinal signs (aries, cancer, libra, capricorn) begin on the first of the season like that, so we can assume that – IF there are 12 zodiac signs in thedas – the sun is in each sign for approximately a month. so that in 3 months the next cardinal sign can coincide w the beginning of that season

imo it makes sense that (if we're assuming thedas also has 12 signs and that their sun spends roughly equal time in all of them) four of them would coincide w the beginning of the seasons. so like yeah thedas is fake and for all we know they have 10 zodiac signs and they all start on wildly different days, but then everything is just shooting in the dark and where's the fun in that. obviously the changing of the seasons is important to them bc their holidays center around them, therefore i don't think it's wildly out of the blue to think that whatever star sign system they have going on would similarly coincide w the changing seasons

again i'm not currently bothering with picking constellations/symbols/stories/traits/etc for each sign so i'll just say first, second, third etc. point being the seasons of the zodiac would actually be like they are below, rather than how they are irl (aka the 20th-ish of each month to the 20th-ish of the next; it's like that irl bc our calendar is stupid and the beginning of the seasons randomly happens 2/3 of the way thru the month):

first sign = begins spring, 1-30 guardian

second sign ≈ 1-30 drakonis

third sign ≈ 1-30 cloudreach

fourth sign = begins summer, 1-30 bloomingtide

fifth sign ≈ 1-30 justinian

sixth sign ≈ 1-30 solace

seventh sign = begins autumn, 1-30 august

eighth sign ≈ 1-30 kingsway

ninth sign ≈ 1-30 harvestmere

tenth sign = begins winter, 1-30 firstfall

eleventh sign ≈ 1-30 haring

twelfth sign ≈ 1-30 wintermarch

okay so we have cardinal signs, what about fixed and mutable signs?

the cardinal signs are CALLED the cardinal signs bc they begin the seasons; they're the ~get up and goers~ of the zodiac, motivated, leaders, trail blazers, energetic, etc. they litchrally bring in the changes of the season so that makes sense right

so IF we are to continue w that logic — and here's where i'm getting (even more) conjecture-y, but i feel p confident that since 4 of the 5 major holidays in thedas are based on the changing seasons aka thats important — then the traits of the thedas-equivalent of those signs would also have similarities to the irl cardinal signs (namely the traits listed above)

but there are also FIXED signs and MUTABLE signs: so called bc fixed signs are firmly planted in the middle of each season (taurus in spring, leo in summer, scorpio in autumn, aquarius in winter) and bc mutable signs precede the major change from one season to the next (gemini from spring to summer, virgo from summer to autumn, sagittarius from autumn to winter, pisces from winter-to-spring)

and again bc these are based on the seasons, it also makes sense to me that, generally speaking, the signs in the middle and at the end of the seasons would also be distinct in some way. and probably have similarities to irl fixed and mutable signs, tho i'm not as obstinate about that as i am abt the cardinal signs. but anyway MOVING ON

[the one section with the fan-made sky map ended up being relatively useless even tho the sky map was in fact very cool]

general disclaimer that at this point i’m literally just. straight up guessing lmao

also since we only have so many constellations we see in-game, and since they each come with a codex giving us at least a little background info (aka CRUMBS), any suggestions of which constellations are part of the zodiac are based on those specifically. obviously in real life theres a bazillion constellations that aren’t part of the zodiac, but we do not have the luxury of knowing every constellation in thedas so i am going with what we got

the thedosian constellation map (the canon one) is different than the fan-made sky map, but because i highly doubt anyone at bioware could’ve predicted someone would be As Insane As I Am Being Right Now about it, i don’t think they probably put a lot of thought into making it lmao. the fan made sky map DID have thought put into it tho, and it actually features the constellations we see in-game, so i’m going w that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AND. i’m gonna look at the names of the months (both the fancy ancient tevinter names and the ~low/common~ names) in comparison w the constellations we have at our disposal bc why the fuck wouldn’t they be related in some way. this has no basis in any deeper logic than “maybe the fact that the ‘common’ name for this month is drakonis has somethinng to do with the constellation draconis idfk” but like. it’s literally the same name but with one letter (that makes the same sound) changed. i don’t think i’m asking too much here lmao

signs that start the seasons

wintersend is canonically associated with the old god urthemiel; the codex entry for the constellation bellitanus states it (is believed that it) was originally associated with urthemiel. using the same reasoning as with satinalis/satinalia, i’m gonna assume that bellitanus-as-a-zodiac-season would start with wintersend and last through the whole of guardian

summerday was once called andoralis, dedicated to the old god andoral; the codex entry for the constellation servani states it is thought to be representative of andoral, but where the wiki says andoral is the god of unity, the codex says andoral was the god of slaves. (doesn’t clarify if andoral is like, a figure to which the enslaved would turn to in their plight, as like a savior? or whether andoral is...just associated with slaves in some way.) i have no idea what the fuck to do w that except assume bioware is back on their bullshit! i’m gonna come back to this later

all soul’s day was once funalis, dedicated to dumat, old god of silence; the codex entry for the constellation silentir (which literally means ‘silence’ lmao) is usually said to represent dumat. so by this logic we might say the zodiac season for silentir begins with all soul’s day and ends with the last day of august

the constellation satinalis is canonically associated with satinalia, so it makes sense to me that if satinalis is part of the zodiac, its season would start with satinalia / last through the month in which the holiday takes place. aka firstfall

with these in mind, we have (tentatively) 3 of our 4 cardinal signs aka the signs that begin the seasons: bellitanus for spring, silentir for autumn, and satinalis for winter

looking at the fan-made sky map, these aren’t super evenly spaced apart (but then again neither are irl constellations perfectly proportioned so whatever!) HOWEVER. they do still, at least vaguely 😭, follow a clockwise pattern in the correct order of guardian/spring → summerday/bloomingtide → all soul’s day/august → satinalia/firstfall. it’s about the small victories ok *inquisitor ameridan voice* take moments of happiness where you find them or whatever

what about the other 8 signs???

great question!!! haha!!!

✨I Am Once Again About To Start Guessing Wildly✨

because even tho the “cardinal signs” go clockwise and in order, there’s still an uneven amount of constellations BETWEEN them. there should be 2 between each but, for example, silentir and satinalis only have tenebrium between them. and there are fucking....TEN constellations between satinalis and bellitanus so we’re going to have to get even more creative somehow<3 lmao these are all taken from the codex entries for the constellations (the names are links!)

TOTH: tevinter old god of fire, thats p much it. the codex does say sometimes toth is depicted as a “flaming orb” which maybe i truly have succumbed to the brain worms but i hear ‘orb’ and ‘god’ and ‘flame’ (aka light/energy/etc or perhaps idk a fucking explosion) and yall already know where my dumb ass is going w that 🥴

since the rules are made up and the points dont matter, i have decided Fuck Bioware, toth is going with summerday now. i dont give a rats ass about andoral since apparently they dont care to tell us what he was actually god of, so welcome toth you are now in charge of the beginning of summer bc i said so

TENEBRIUM: associated with lusacan, tevinter old god of darkess/night. also obvious associations with falon’din, elven god of death, whose sacred animal is an owl

pea brain analysis: its dark in winter lol; slightly larger, maybe lima-bean-sized brain analysis: the beginning of a new year (aka first day aka first of wintermarch) could hypothetically be associated w the past ‘dying.’ and also the holiday was originally an annual check to make sure everyone was alive, so i don’t see why gods of death can’t be associated w making sure all your loved ones weren’t taken by said god of death lol

ELUVIA: commonly called “sacrifice,” it’s (apparently) based on an orlesian tale in which a woman is saved from a “””lustful mage””” (i love bioware i love this frachise) by being placed in the sky and becoming a constellation. before this inspiring tale that is definitely not anti mage propaganda, eluvia may have represented razikale, tevinter old god of mystery. the imagery of this constellation is a seated woman with a cloud right above her - literally like her head is in the clouds (also bc it sounds like ‘eluvian’ i’m like 👀)

i’m inclined to pair this one up with cloudreach both bc the ancient tevinter name is “eluviesta” and bc the woman in the story is literally. in the clouds. simple enough

PERAQUIALUS: it’s a boat! but apparently a “primitive vessel” sailed by ancient peoples like the neromenians. according to the codex the translation is usually ‘across the sea’ rather than ‘boat’ but that doesnt rly help me lol

sorry my beloved. before me stand 10 beautiful constellations but i only have 9 pictures in my hands. you are not thedas’s next top zodiac sign

DRACONIS: obviously its a dragon lol

i think the drakonis (the month) / draconis (this constellation) correlation is. pretty evident lmao and since we have all but thrown credible hypothesizing out the window, why NOT?? why not make drakonis the season of draconis!!! 🤡

FERVENIAL: an oak; some believe it could be representative of andruil, elven goddess of the hunt, as the vir tanadhal (“way of the three trees”) is her whole thing

sigh idk *spins wheel* leaves start changing color in mid-late autumn so *spins wheel again* fervenial can go with harvestmere which is thedas-october it’s fine

JUDEX: a big ol sword, sometimes called the “sword of mercy,” referring to pre-andrastian concepts of justice in ancient tevinter

speaking of pulling ideas right out of my ass, if this constellation is associated w justice it makes sense to me that its season would be in the month of justinian. bc again why the fuck not!

EQUINOR: the stallion / a horse, sometimes depicted as a seated griffon. some speculate the original imagery was a halla, linking the constellation to the elven god ghilan’nain aka “mother of the halla”

i am really grasping at straws here HAHA but the word haring (as a gerund/present participle of the verb ‘hare’) can mean to run or go with great speed. horses go fast, ghilan’nain is invoked when elves want to travel quickly, blah blah blah. whatever

SOLIUM: the sun; one interpretation is that it indicates an ancient fascination with ALL objects in the sky (aka both the sun and moon[s]), another interpretation associates it with the elven god elgar’nan, aka “eldest of the sun”

alright i know the name ‘solas’ means pride in elvhen and the word ‘solace’ means like comfort/consolation, neither of which have jack shit to do with the sun, so i shouldn’t assume solis is associated with solium exclusively bc they start with ‘sol’ and sol means sun in...a lot of irl languages lol HOWEVER. i have an even worse reasoning we can fall back on which is that it’s in summer and it’s...fucking sunny??? LMAO im so sorry

FENRIR: the white wolf 👁👄👁 scholars apparently dont know wtf to do w this one; obviously there is a case to be made about its association with fen’harel

i have talked myself in circles on this one but whenever i try to type it out it makes Zero Fucking Sense lmao so. i may come back and edit this but for now just know it’s going with kingsway and i want yall to know i do have some stupid nebulous reasoning for that in my silly little brain but communicating it is simply not in the cards for me today god bless 🙏

alright so what bullshit have you proposed at the end of all this EXTREMELY shaky guesswork, queen?

HERE YOU GO I GUESS

Bellitanus: begins spring, 1-30 Guardian

Draconis: 1-30 Drakonis

Eluvia: 1-30 Cloudreach

Toth: begins summer, 1-30 Bloomingtide

Judex: 1-30 Justinian

Solium: 1-30 Solace

Silentir: begins autumn, 1-30 August

Fenrir: 1-30 Kingsway

Fervenial: 1-30 Harvestmere

Satinalis: begins winter, 1-30 Firstfall

Equinor: 1-30 Haring

Tenebrium: 1-30 Wintermarch

next time i have a death wish i will come back and speculate what kind of traits would be associated w these signs (based on the ~lore~ surrounding the constellations, their tentative places as cardinal/fixed/mutable, etc) but i just wasted precious hours of my life on this and i cant look at it anymore!!!

also want to reiterate that, regarding the post i saw earlier that i disagreed with, my refutation of that argument ended like 2 reblogs many sections ago lol. the only thing i feel confident defending is that the different seasons of the zodiac would – based on the actual changing 4 seasons – start on the first of each month and end on the last day of each month, as opposed to the way it is in real life western astrology

all this other bullshit is just for fun (??? i guess????) and based ALMOST entirely on my own assumptions. informed by actual shit from the games ofc but mainly me just

EDIT: would like to add that i don't have world of thedas or any other supplementary shit; all i have at my disposal is the 3 games, their DLCs, and the wiki lol. so if there's anything here that WOT (or smth else) contradicts please lmk! and also sorry for any typos lmao

hope yall enjoyed witnessing this fully unhinged moment w me bye<3