#[ if this doesn't work just lemme know and i can change it! i was gonna wait til i saw stuff w them but then i got excited oops ]

[hollowflay]

She SHOVES him out of her way. Just like ON PRINCIPLE. There was literally no need she could've just said "excuse me" or tilted herself to the side. But she didn't pause for LOSERS or BURNOUTS and everything about the boy says he's one. She almost IMMEDIATELY regretted it as the icy chill when STRAIGHT up her back. EW. All the better to LEAVE.

starter for @coastercrushed

[ckret2]

Chapter 88 of human Bill Cipher, in a stunning role reversal, helping the Mystery Shack not get imprisoned: somehow, he's managed to seductively femme fatale his way into stealing secret files from a government agent.

However nobody is thinking about Bill's relationship with that guy this chapter.

"I'd love to stay the night, but I didn't plan for it—all this really took me by surprise!—I don't have a change of clothes, or my toiletries—and I have half a dozen medications I need to take, you know, the kind the doctor tells you ya can't skip..."

Powers insisted he couldn't let Bill walk home—not this late, not after all their talk about about how threatening the town was—but Bill couldn't afford to let Powers know he was more than just an occasional daytime visitor to the Mystery Shack. So Bill gave him directions down an overgrown forest road until they reached a footpath forking off into the shadows, indicated the dark silhouette of the old, abandoned Corduroy cabin barely visible between the trees and claimed he was staying with some people in that cabin for the summer, and insisted Powers didn't need to get out of the car, Bill could walk to the door himself.

He gave Powers his burner phone's number. If he called it—and if Bill's plan worked, he would—and the Pines overheard, he could tell them he'd stolen the phone when he'd escaped over the weekend. Bill wouldn't be surprised if they confiscated it and only handed it over when Powers called. He'd have to tell his girls they couldn't use that number and ask for a fresh burner phone; but hey, that was what burners were for.

And then he got out of the car, walked to the door, knocked firmly on the abandoned cabin's door, and said, "Hey, lemme in." After a moment, he added, "I'm talking to you, peeking through the keyhole. Let me in, you little creep."

A child ghost opened the door a crack, peering up in trifold wonder at the living person who had—one—seen him without a seance—two—through the door, and—three—spoken to him directly. Shyly, he asked, "Do you wanna be friends with—?"

"No." Bill walked through the ghost. "Shut the door."

He proceeded to ignore the child ghost, warmly greeted a dream hipster spirit who was surprised Bill could see him, and shot terrible puns back and forth with the hipster for a couple minutes until, through the walls and the trees, he saw that Powers had driven off.

"Finally," Bill muttered. He poked a finger in the dream hipster. "Hey, lemme out, would you? I think the kid in the corner's gonna start leaking extoplasm if I ask him for another favor."

The dream hipster—a desiccated human spirit with an eyepatch and a fedora—said, "Do it yourself. Moving doors takes a lot of psychic energy. Especially with this." He flexed a gloved hand with a wide array of cutlery strapped to the fingers.

Bill decided not to point out that the spirit had two hands. "Wow, great idea! Got any experience lifting curses?"

"No?"

"Then get the door."

The hipster opened it—with a big show of effort that Bill was pretty sure he was playing up. "Who was that, anyway?" he asked, nodding toward the leaving car. "Friday the 13th?"

"No, he—what?"

"A bad date." The hipster let out a croaky laugh. "I came up with that myself."

"Yeah, I can tell." Bill swept past the hipster without so much as a thanks. "Best date I've had since I died, actually! But it doesn't have much competition. Never date in a psych ward." He turned back to the hipster—who was giving him a confused, expectant look, like he was sure Bill was setting him up for a joke but didn't get it yet—and said, "If you see Raina, tell her Bill said hi."

"Who?"

That was what he'd expected. He sighed. "Well—if you ever do run into her." 

He waved farewell to the hipster and the deeply haunted cabin, and began the long walk back to the Mystery Shack.

####

Powers had apparently claimed the car the agents had gotten from Gleeful Auto, but the other two agents still had the car they'd come to town in; and Bill saw it lurking by the Mystery Shack. He was sure Trigger and Dale thought they were slick with their black car and tinted windows; but Bill saw them as clearly as if they were standing in the open in broad daylight. But looking through the car made pain shoot through his exhausted left eye—that was what he got for running around without an eyepatch all day. He rubbed his eyelid as he tried to figure out what to do about the agents.

If they told Powers that Bill was staying here, it could ruin everything. But they had a clear view of both the gift shop door and the back door, and nobody would be up at this hour to let him in by the museum or floor room doors. He could sneak in through his secret roof route, but that would let the Pines family know he could get in and out without their assistance.

(Besides, he wasn't sure he could do that trick when he was awake. It only worked when he could convince himself the trap doors to the roof were "lids," and it was easier to lie to himself with the help of the altered mental state of a dream; and while the floating practice he'd gotten during the eclipse had helped him figure out how to make inanimate objects float, he still couldn't fully ignore gravity's pull on his own flesh without tapping into the mindscape.)

Nothing for it. The agents in the car would just have to discover Bill was staying here.

Even though it was almost one in the morning, the lights were still on when Bill reached the back door. He only had to knock once before Stan flung the door open. "Where in the world were you?!"

"I just love how you ask that like you think you're entitled to an answer! It's adorably presumptuous." Bill walked past him, rummaging in the folds of his umbrella as he did.

"The agreement was dinner, not for you to run off with—"

Bill unwrapped a wad of papers from around the umbrella's shaft and shoved it in Stan's face. "Guess who got the agents' case file! Everyone congratulate me on what a good spy I am."

From the living room, Ford said, "I'm sure you've already congratulated yourself plenty."

"I'm just getting started. Where's my hood—? Ah." Bill found his hoodie hanging on the coat rack and gratefully pulled it on for the first time in two days. "Hey Stanley, didja know Powers used to work for the IRS? Criminal Investigations."

"I knew there was something I didn't like about him," Stan muttered. He wandered into the living room distractedly as he flipped through the pages. "Weather records, some kind of mumbo-jumbo about power grids... background checks on half the town... local FBI operations, military stuff... surveillance records? Yeesh!" He dropped heavily onto the sofa.

Ford leaned over to read over Stan's shoulder. "There's no way Agent Powers just gave this to you."

"No, but he showed it to me." By the time he wandered into the living room, Bill had already pulled on his eyepatch and one glove, re-covering his flesh in yellow and black as fast as possible. He heaved himself up on top of the TV, crossed his legs, and tugged the other glove on. "He didn't expect me to walk off with half of it, though!"

Stan's brows rose progressively higher with each page. "This is the kind of stuff guys like him get disappeared into secret military prisons for leaking. What the heck did you do to get him to cough this up, sleep with him?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Bill asked. "Of course I did."

Stan lowered the papers. He and Ford both stared at Bill. Stan asked, "Is it weird that I respect you more now?"

Ford elbowed Stan. Stan grumbled, fished around in his pocket, and shoved a ten in Ford's hand.

Oh, now his wayward student has faith in him. "Anyway, enough about my hot date. More importantly: I have a plan to get him off our tail for good. Get a photocopy of that file and go wake everyone up. We need to be done before dawn."

####

Mabel and Dipper's eyes were still 3/4 shut as they trudged down the stairs. Bill saw them and shouted, "Hey, star girl! You'll never guess who I ran into at Greasy's! I don't suppose you happened to know that blondie's working there."

That got Mabel's eyes open. "Maybe I did," she said, as coyly as she could while stifling a yawn. "And maybe I told her all about your date."

"Is that why you wanted me to go to Greasy's! See if I ever take any suggestions from future you again." Smart kid. She'd be a terror someday.

"So tell me all about it!" she gushed. "Do you like him? Did he ask you out again? Did you kiss?"

"Ha! He gave me a lot more than a little liplock."

"Like what?" Mabel asked breathlessly, as Stan shot Bill a panicked look over her head and Ford mouthed, don't you dare.

Bill slapped the stolen papers down on the table. "Like a fat wad of government secrets, howsabout that!"

As Dipper and Mabel looked through the papers, Bill claimed a chair in between them—elbowing Dipper out of the way as he did—and said, "He was dying to tell the pretty blonde all about his work. If loose lips sink ships, then this guy's the Bermuda Triangle."

"Is there anything we can use to get rid of him in here?" Dipper asked.

"Nope, just some juicy blackmail material on the neighbors. We should get a copy of the file! But I didn't bring it home for the intel."

"Then what did you bring it home for?"

Bill grinned. "Bait."

The living room table had been dragged to the middle of the room so the entire household—Bill, the twins, the bigger twins, Soos, and Abuelita—could cram around it together in their pajamas. Once everyone had gathered (and Stan had confiscated the file from Dipper and Ford when they got too into reading what the government's surveillance efforts had revealed about the Valentino family), Bill said, "The plan isn't too complicated." He tapped a pen on a paper on which he'd scrawled out the steps, complete with badly-drawn doodle of the agents leaving town in a well-drawn car. "But it'll require a forged document, a threatening letter, a hoax video, a distraction, picking multiple locks, and breaking into the museum, the motel, and the police department—all before dawn. All right?"

The group thought that over, and then one by one nodded in acceptance. "Doesn't sound too strenuous," Ford said.

"It sounds fun!" Mabel said.

"Almost too fun," Dipper said, squinting at Bill. "What's the catch."

Bill grinned. "This family's terrific. Okay! Who here has the deepest voice and the most convincing fake British accent?" He glanced between Stan, Ford, and Soos.

Soos shook his head. "Nope."

Stan elbowed Ford. "Hey. Do your impression of the constable."

"What?"

"From Duck-tective. Do the constable."

Mabel and Dipper smiled at Ford expectantly.

Ford grimaced, but sighed, cleared his throat, and said in a sheepish faux British accent, "'It seems what we have here is... a false duck-otomy.'"

Mabel, Dipper, and Soos snickered. Soos said, "Ah, never gets old."

Ford looked at the ceiling and muttered, "It makes more sense in the context of the episode."

Bill looked oddly irritated that Ford's impression had been decent. "Right. Fisherman, how's your accent?"

"Uhh... Lemme see." Stan cleared his throat. "''Ello 'ello, I'm the Prince of Wales, wot wot. Uh... blimey, mate?'"

Bill shuddered. "Nope, you're out. Questiony, you're sure you've got nothing?"

"Dude, I get the craziest stage fright when I have to act," Soos said. "In middle school? We had to do this school play? And we did this sassy modern retelling of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'? And they wanted me to play the giant, because I was like, six inches taller than anyone else? But—"

"You froze up so bad they had to cast you as the beanstalk. I know, I was there." (This statement deeply unsettled Soos.) "But you've been running this crummy tourist trap for the past year! You give gullible parents and their earwax-eating brats six tours a day! You've gotten over your stage fright by now!"

"Oh, that's totally different." Soos's eyes widened. "Wait. Is it different? Oh no—"

"You're out." Bill sighed heavily. He reluctantly turned back to Ford. "Okay, Sixer, lemme hear yours again. This time make it more nasal and try to sound evil."

"What?"

"Nasal and evil! C'mon, Sixer, we're burning moonlight."

"Is there a point to this?!"

"Yes!"

By this point, Ford was more than a little miffed. He'd spent enough time in school dealing with teachers disappointed in him for being the only kid in class with the answer to the question (as if that was his fault instead of the other students'), and he didn't need it out of Bill. But he looked at the ceiling again, and, with an air of corny over-the-top menace, grudgingly said, "'It seems... that what we have here is... a false duck-otomy.'"

Mabel and Dipper cracked up. Stan smacked Ford's back and said, "Hey, if they ever need someone to play the constable's evil doppelgänger..."

"Shut up."

Disappointed, Bill said, "Okay, that was great. You're hired."

"Exactly what am I being hired for?"

"I know how eager you are, but wait your turn, I'm handing out jobs." Bill pointed across the table at Abuelita. "Dolores. Distraction. We've gotta get past the suits in the car without any of them knowing we left the shack."

Abuelita nodded slowly. "Do you want them alive in the morning?" Soos stared at her.

"Unfortunately, killing them might just make things more complicated," Bill said. "So try to keep it nonlethal."

"If you insist."

Bill pointed, "Mabel! You're in charge of all document forgery."

She pumped a fist in the air. "Yes."

"You'll need this." Bill slid her a scrap of paper with the key to a substitution cipher. "Stanford, you can't do your part until star girl's finished hers, so you're her expert on historical accuracy. But this isn't your art project. You're a consultant only. Let the artistic genius make her masterpiece."

"Fine," Ford sighed.

Mabel beamed at him. "Look at us! Arts and crafts buddies!" One corner of his mouth tugged up.

"Stanley," Bill said. "You're breaking into the police department to steal a file."

"Yes! All right! I'm on it!" Stan cheerfully left the room.

Stan came back into the room. "A specific file, or... whatever I can find...?"

"I'll tell you where to find it and give you the code to the safe." Bill pointed at Dipper, tried to summon up his name, and said, "You. You're making a couple deliveries. Your part comes after almost everyone else, go get some sleep."

"Good." Dipper immediately left the table to head back upstairs.

Soos raised a hand. "What's my part?"

Bill nearly told him he only needed Soos's truck for the important people, felt Abuelita's stare like a laser, and said, "Getaway driver."

"Nice!"

Ford raised a finger. "You still haven't told me what you want me to do." His voice strongly implied that the fact Bill wanted it didn't mean Ford would.

"Oh, right," Bill said. "You're breaking into the museum so you can roleplay as a spy movie villain."

Ford stared at Bill. Then, quietly, trying not to sound too hopeful, said, "Really?"

"Would I lie to you?" Bill clapped his hands together, "Okay! You all have your parts—now let me explain how this is gonna work."

####

Yawning as he blinked off his sleep, Trigger said, "You're sure the woman at the door was the one Powers asked out?"

Dale nodded. "That was her, all right. I'd recognize her anywhere. Lovely hair."

Trigger checked the clock. It was past one. He'd expected to get a few more hours of sleep before being woken for his watch shift. "I thought she was a tourist? What's she doing at the Mystery Shack past midnight?"

"No clue. Very strange."

"We should tell Powers about it."

"Is it urgent enough to wake him, do you think? Or can it wait until—"

They fell silent as the shack's back door opened again, spilling light out onto the porch. One of the house's residents—after a hasty conversation, they concurred she was probably Mrs. Ramirez—came out and shuffled down off the porch.

"Is she coming this way?" Dale murmured.

"Shhh! We're in a black car, maybe she won't notice us."

She walked directly up to the car and knocked on Trigger's window.

Holding perfectly still, trying not to move his lips, Trigger whispered, "Stay quiet. The windows are tinted. Maybe she'll think we aren't here."

She knocked a second time.

Dale said, "Don't be silly." He leaned over Trigger to roll down the window and smile at Mrs. Ramirez. "Hi! Can we help you?"

Politely, Mrs. Ramirez said, "Hello. Are you two here on a stakeout?"

"Uh..." Dale looked at Trigger, who just sighed and shrugged, and said, "Yes, ma'am, we are."

"You will be here all night?" she asked. "Do you boys need anything? Juice, soda? Coffee? We have leftovers if you haven't had dinner."

The agents exchanged a surprised look. Dale said, "Well! That's very kind of you, Mrs. Ramirez. If it's not too much trouble for you, I wouldn't mind a coffee."

Trigger grudgingly nodded. "Coffee."

"Okay. How would you like it? Cream, sugar?"

"Black's fine for me," Dale said.

"A little milk, if you could," Trigger said.

"Is 2% okay?"

While she kept the agents distracted, Soos and Stan snuck out to Soos's truck and headed into town.

####

As Mabel sat at Ford's desk drawing, Ford asked, "That isn't how the map originally looked, was it?" It had been years since he'd seen the map to what the children claimed was Trembley's tomb—and he'd thrown it into the Bottomless Pit along with Journal 3, so they couldn't consult it now—but he was sure he remembered the original "map" had looked like Bill, with an elaborate secret code written inside of the triangle. Mabel's recreation in progress, even folded up into a complicated flap-covered square, looked a lot more map-like.

"Nope," Mabel said. "But Agent Powers doesn't seem like a very silly guy. I need to dumb it down for him."

"I suppose he probably isn't the kind of person to fold a century-old map into a paper hat." He continued rummaging through his bookshelf. He'd already provided Mabel a copy of the museum's floor plan, and now he needed to find a photo of the town graveyard.

"It's actually harder to make an easy secret map than a hard one," Mabel said, like a master puzzle maker explaining her craft. "For a hard one, you can do the trickiest things you can think of! But for an easy one you have to explain how it works, without being there to explain how it works, and you can't let them figure out it's being explained to them."

"You have to make it obvious without making it obvious you're making it obvious."

"Ex-act-ly. Hey, Grunkle Ford, when I'm finished with the map, is it okay if I use your coffee for paint?"

"For...?" Ford gave her a baffled look. "I suppose, but why coffee?"

"Staining the paper with coffee will make it look old! Super advanced art hack!"

"I see." Ford had the sneaking suspicion that the map smelling like coffee would somewhat ruin the effect; but all right, he wasn't the arts and crafts master who'd been put in charge here.

"Ah, here we go." He pulled out a book he'd filled with historical photographs of the town, flipped through it until he found a yellowed black-and-white picture of the graveyard, and set the book down on the desk by Mabel.

She gasped in delight. "Wow! Vintage scrapbooking!" She flipped through a few more pages. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised! Your journals are basically nerdy scrapbooks with a lot more words than normal. Did you take these pictures, Grunkle Ford?"

Most of the pictures were taken over a century ago. He felt old. "Er—no. I mostly got them from old newspapers in the library."

"Oh. That's fine! Collecting newspaper clippings is a respectable scrapbooking technique." She rearranged her map-in-progress to conceal the museum map within the paper's folds and reveal a blank canvas, and began drawing the graveyard. "Lots of scrapbookers do it! Moms whose kids are in the news, conspiracy theorists, serial killers..."

Ford supposed he was one of those things. He set his coffee mug down by Mabel's workspace. "Let me know if you need anything else." He retrieved the video camera from the worktable at the back of his study—Bill had said they'd need it at the museum—and, while he was back there, remembered he hadn't returned Mabel's sleepover video yet. He ejected the fresh tape he'd made for her.

As he carried it to her, she began to hum.

Cold terror shot up Ford's back. He'd grabbed Mabel's arm before he even realized he was moving.

She flinched. "Hey—?!"

As soon as he registered what he'd done, he let go and pulled his hand back. "Sorry!" He didn't even know why he'd done it. To stop her? To try to protect her? From a song? What had he been thinking?

Stupid question. He knew exactly what he'd been thinking: he's in her head.

"Sorry," he said again. "I just... Where... did you hear that song?"

She was leaning away from him now, shrinking into her chair. (Was she afraid? Had he scared her?) "Bill told me about it," she said.

Ford's stomach flipped. "Why?"

"It was a few days ago when he had to escape, and we didn't know if he'd be able to come back, so... he told me... to listen to the song, to remind me that we'd meet again..." Voice small, Mabel asked, "Is it a—bad song?"

Even as his heart still thudded against his ribcage, Ford felt guilt creep over his shoulders. He forced himself to swallow. "No, it's—the song is fine. Just... I'd appreciate if you didn't sing it."

Mabel said uncertainly, "Okay."

"I'm... sorry." Ford backed away from the desk, sat heavily in an armchair, and dropped his face into his hands to rub his eyelids. "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

He could hear Mabel shift nervously in her seat. When he looked up, she'd reluctantly gotten back to work, dipping a paintbrush in Ford's coffee and smearing it around the map. Quietly, she asked, "It's something Bill did, isn't it?"

Ford took a deep breath in. "Bill decided serenading me was the best way to welcome me to his Fearamid. Right before he—demanded I tell him how to escape Gravity Falls."

Mabel stopped painting. "He didn't tell me that part."

"I suppose he wouldn't have."

Slowly, she asked, "Were you locked up? Somewhere you couldn't escape?"

What an odd question. "Er—yes. In what he called his 'penthouse suite'."

"Alone?"

"More or less. It was just the four of us: Bill, myself... two humans he'd turned into chairs..."

"Did he try to..." Mabel's words faltered for a moment. "Um... you know, like... win you over?"

Ford's stomach sank more with each question. "Ah."

The kids knew that he'd been Bill's prisoner, and that Bill had tortured him for information. That was the only thing he'd told them knew: he tried to torture it out of me. They were old enough to hear that much. They hadn't seen any wounds—Bill had made sure of that, effortlessly erasing Ford's wounds so he could inflict them all over again. But the kids had seen the singes and stains and tears in his clothes. They'd seen how jumpy Ford was the next few days; how he'd winced at aches not from the torture, but from how his body tensed and knotted his muscles in response to the fear and the memory of pain. They'd probably even been able to smell the torture, if not on him then on his clothing.

That was all they knew. They didn't need to bear any more weight from the knowledge of what Ford had endured.

Reluctantly, Ford said, "Yes. He did try to win me over. You know what he's like when he's trying to manipulate someone: he invited me to join his gang, offered me ultimate power, said we'd rule a lawless universe where we could do anything we want and all our dreams would come true, blah blah blah... I turned him down, of course." Mabel's interrogation had started light, but Ford knew what was coming next: and what did he do when you rejected his offers?

But there was a moment of silence; and then Mabel angrily smacked her paintbrush down on Ford's desk. "I knew it! That creep! Ough, I'm gonna..." She shoved back the chair and stomped toward the elevator, stopped herself, and stomped back with a loud groan of frustration. "Get it together, girl! It was a year ago. It can wait. Yell at him later." She dropped heavily into the seat, turned back to the desk, and huffed loudly.

Ford watched her, bemused. He appreciated her righteous indignation on his behalf and was glad she'd stopped asking questions when she did, but... "Knew what?"

"It's—" She shot him a guilty look; then set her jaw, turned away, and focused on the map. "If you don't know, you don't wanna know."

"Why not?"

Delicately, she said, "Because of... Bill bullsoup." She picked up her paintbrush and got back to weathering the map.

All right. There was Bill "bullsoup" he didn't want to share either.

Mabel asked, "Has he... been trying to get you to join him? Since he got here?"

Ford's blood ran cold. He didn't know why. Yes, Bill had tried; and been denied. Heck, Bill had been trying to get Mabelon his side harder than anybody else. So what was Ford worried about? "He has," he said, then corrected himself, "He did. I think he might have stopped. Now that he's no longer under the impression that you and I have a secret cult dedicated to him."

Mabel snorted. "I almost forgot that. He was so mad."

He was. But he'd gotten over his anger at Mabel pretty quickly; in fact, Ford didn't even know when he'd confronted her about it. On the other hand, Bill had hardly been willing to speak to Ford since then. Dragging him out during the eclipse hadn't helped, but... that certainly hadn't started it.

Why was Bill willing to forgive Mabel so easily but hold a grudge against Ford? "He hasn't tried to act friendly since then." Did he just think she was more fun? Had he finally decided Ford was too boring to tolerate when compared to Mabel's glitter and joy? Ford tried to keep his tone neutral as he said, "At this point, I almost feel like he'd rather see me dead than as his devotee."

But then—that wasn't true, was it? Because Bill had saved Ford's life.

But then... since Ford had spared Bill's life, he seemed more furious at him than ever. And Ford couldn't figure out why. It wasn't that Ford wanted Bill to like him any better, of course—of course.

He just didn't understand it.

"Then it's fine, I guess," Mabel said. "If it becomes a 'problem,' I'll let you know. I'm keeping an eye on him." Confidently, she said, "I'll be able to tell."

She probably would, Ford realized. He was beginning to feel like she understood Bill better than anyone else, in spite of how briefly she'd known him.

Ford had felt special once, over thirty years ago, when Bill had shown him the little crumb that had once been his home dimension. But now that he'd seen Bill cover an entire wall with a map of his home planet, its nations, and its nearest orbiting celestial bodies, just for Mabel... Ford was beginning to realize that was all Bill had ever given him: a crumb.

He tried to tell himself he wasn't jealous.

####

While the humans were busy with their assignments, Bill slipped away to his room to hide the envelope Soos had given him, filled with the unused wrappers and the fresh moss he'd harvested during the walk home. On another night, he'd sneak to the roof and lay out the moss to dry during the day—but not tonight, with all the humans awake. Still, it was nice to have some hallucinogenics in the house again.

After his first couple showers, Bill had quickly figured out the bare minimum amount of soap, shampoo, and scrubbing needed to get clean by the humans' standards; but the bathroom was still the one place in the shack where Bill could get full privacy without the humans feeling like they could just walk on in. He needed the humans to keep thinking he needed a full hour so they wouldn't check on him. So when he'd showered the previous night, he'd cleaned off as quickly as possible; sat by the door; focused his gaze on the bare bulb by the sink; and tried to meditate the anxiety away until someone knocked on his door and told him his time was up. The change Soos had made to the door meant Bill could get in and out of it by himself—but it also prevented the door from remaining ajar. It was always closed. With his mind magically blocked off from being able to tell the difference between a door that looked impassable and was impassable, the shut bathroom door made Bill nervous.

Tonight, he refused to take another shower. All human hygiene took was water and an unnecessary variety of soaps, the soaps were portable and he could get water as easily out of a sink as out of a bath tub. He washed himself up in the downstairs half bath with the curtain, scrubbing hard to ensure he got off all the makeup and any lingering evidence of that evening's tryst.

Then he steeled himself to the task of putting his hair back up.

Usually, Mabel would be more than happy to mess around with his hair, but she was busy with her own assignment. He wouldn't lower himself to asking any of the other humans for help. He'd handle it himself. Just a simple ponytail, he told himself. The kind of hairdo female humans used to convey that they cared about their hair when they really didn't. Easy. Gather it, get a band around it, you're done.

The Pines had removed the downstairs bathroom mirror to ensure Bill couldn't make blades from the glass. Bill wasn't sure if having the mirror would have made things easier—so he could see that the hair was sprouting out of normal human hair follicles rather than peeling flesh—or harder—since he'd have to make eye contact with the horrid misshapen alien beast in the mirror, all pores and nostrils and folds and flaps, and know that was him.

But since there was no mirror, there was no need for him to face the sink. He faced the toilet, lifted the lid and seat—he'd been getting less nauseous lately, but just in case—and attempted to comb his hair.

####

When Ford and Mabel came up, Bill was waiting in the living room, wearing black dress pants with a white button-up shirt under his hoodie, eyepatch flipped up so he could reapply his mascara. "Hey, it's about time! What took you?"

"You can't rush art," Mabel said. "What happened to your makeup? It looked so nice!"

"Agent Bermuda Triangle's already seen it. We don't want to give him any reason to get suspicious." He gestured at his sedate eyeliner, "I'm going for 'office worker who wants people to think she doesn't care about makeup but does care about her appearance.' How'd I do?"

"It looks boring."

"Thanks." He flipped his eyepatch back down.

Mabel handed over her masterpiece and Ford grabbed one half of the magic friendship bracelets before quietly heading out to the car. Bill was reluctantly putting on his half when Mabel caught his sleeve. "Heyyy buddy," she said. "We need to talk real quick."

"Oh, yeah?" A wary look entered his eye. "Then you'd better tell me what about real quick."

"Do you remember what you said yesterday about the best place for a first date?"

Bill frowned, puzzled. "Sure! Get your target somewhere they can't escape from until they love you and serenade 'em into submission."

"And can you tell me what you did with Grunkle Ford when you dragged him to the Fearamid."

"Used his petrified form as a backscratcher?"

"What?!"

Bill aparently realized that was not the answer Mabel was looking for—it was so much worse than the answer she was looking for—because he hurried on to reassure her, "Only for a couple days! Then I took 'im to the penthouse suite! Your uncle got the VIP treatment! I created some nice furniture, gave him a drink, played him a little piano music..." He petered out as he figured out where this was going. "Oh."

"Bill..."

"It's not what it looks like," he said quickly. "Locking people up and serenading them is like offering them their heart's desire: it works in tons of social situations, not just flirting!"

"I knew it!" Last summer, she hadn't even known that Bill and Ford had been friends until Weirdmageddon was over; but everything she'd learned about their relationship since then had been full of this weird jilted ex energy. The creepy stalker book that followed Ford around after Bill died, the weird thing with the omelet the night they captured Bill, the repeated attempts to recruit Ford to his side, the way Bill always got extra bantery around Ford, that one time Bill had told Mabel he'd decided to just believe Ford was his friend until it was true... "You didn't tell me that song was your love song to my grunkle, you creep."

"Wait, wait, wait! You've got this all wrong, kid."

"Don't gimme that! It's obvious. You're totally obsessed with him and always super weird around him. Yooou—" she gave his arm several accusatory pokes, "—have a crush."

"I'd rather just crush him," Bill said, with a grimace so convincing Mabel almost believed it wasn't fake. "I'm super weird at everyone, everywhere, 24/7! Stanford wasn't getting special treatment! The only reason I bothered with him is because he was the only person in the world who could get me out of the Nightmare Realm—that's what I was 'obsessed' with. Besides, I'd like to see you get murdered by some guy and not obsess over it a little bit! Trust me, he was just a pawn, a potential Henchmaniac at best! Anyway, all he brings to the table is an off-the-charts genius IQ and bad hygiene—and if that's what I wanted, I could get the same thing out of Waddles, and he's never gone on a thirty-year-vendetta against me—"

"You're doing that thing where you try to distract me by talking a whole lot." Mabel grabbed Bill's shoulders. "Listen. Bill. I'm totally in your corner in, like, life stuff. I want you to be happy. I wanna see you settle down with someone nice!" She tightened her grip. "But my family comes first. Grunkles before... before... um... grungles before triungles. And after everything you put Grunkle Ford through, he's off the list. Got it?"

Something shifted in Bill's face as it dawned on him that he wasn't talking to Matchmaker Mabel. "What a relief! I thought you were about to try to hook me up with that cretin." He didn't look relieved as he shoved her off and backed out of her grip. The way his nose wrinkled as he fought against letting his face twist into a full snarl, more than anything, looked like disgust. "He was never on the list. He's imprisoned me, insulted me, starved me, disrespected me, and murdered me. I'm not interested, I've never been interested, and ohhh—" he laughed harshly, "—has he ever made sure I'm never gonna be interested."

To her surprise, she didn't think he was lying. Maybe lying about how he used to feel—it wasn't that long ago that he'd admitted he was trying to manifest a friendship with Ford through sheer willpower—but he wasn't lying about how he felt now. What had changed?

"Bill?" Ford's whisper sounded too loud in the dark. He'd apparently doubled back when he realized Bill wasn't following, and was now anxiously peering around the corner. "What's the hold up?" Lurking in the dark somewhere behind Ford was the agents' black car, and Ford had his shoulders hunched up as if that could hide him from them.

Bill's eyes snapped from Mabel's face to Ford's without any change in his expression—and his look was so ferocious that Ford actually took a step back. Bill snapped, "I'm coming, keep your pants on," then hissed to Mabel, "Keep your crazy theory to yourself. I'm treated like scum already, do you know how they'll act if they think—"

"I wasn't gonna! I didn't even tell Grunkle Ford—"

"And for the record, being hated is my biggest turn-off. I don't even want to go to the museum with him, much less do anything else." Bill stormed past her. As he hopped off the end of the porch, he turned to walk backwards and gesture at Ford over his shoulder. "But thanks for reminding me how miserable this'll be!"

Ford shushed Bill; and as they disappeared around the corner, Mabel got the sinking feeling she'd made things worse—and Ford would probably be on the receiving end of it.

####

Dale and Trigger were still sound asleep in their car, knocked out by the sleeping pills Abuelita had dropped in their coffee, as Ford and Bill got in the car and headed to the museum.

####

(The first half of this chapter was written pre-TBOB, up to the point where Mabel puts two and two together and realizes Bill put Ford in the Love Cage™. I actually wasn't sure where to take that scene after Mabel finds out about the world's creepiest serenade from Ford, except that she oughta be getting pretty darn suspicious of Bill at that point; and I'd been needing an opportunity for her to confront Bill about her lingering background suspicions; so TBOB explicitly listing that as one of Bill's flirting strategies, when I already had a chapter about Bill's flirting techniques rough drafted, was perfect.

Beyond that, I only added a couple details post-TBOB: the "never date in a psych ward" line

I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this chapter! Next chapter is The Bill & Ford Show, and it's a big one for them, so look forward to that!)

[tarotbyjam24]

Pick a card : How will your spouse act in your pregnancy?

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Disclaimer: this is general reading . It may or may not resonate . If reading doesn't resonate let it fly and choose another pile or simply there were no messages for you through this reading 😊 Take the reading lightly as nothing's set in stone until you believe so 🕊️

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Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile एक

Alright pile 1 your spouse will be like ohh yeahh my wifey is pregnant . Lemme serve my MY QUEEN , my kid's mother 🙇🏻‍♀️ . They gonna decorate the room you'll be living in . They'll be prepping the nursery too by painting it and adding magical vibes to it. They gonna put the dolls in the nursery. They'll not be fighting with you at all like no fighting at all. No yelling no nothing. They're gonna be so submissive and help you with everything. They're most likely to always think that what can I do to make them feel better. They may also go from questioning phases and questioning themselves whether they're enough and ready to be a parent or not. They'll not be letting you do any house work or anything. As I said you're their queen 👑. They'll be spending their money on hiring the maids and all the stuff required to get things done but they won't let you even walk on the cold floor without slippers. They'll always be there for you and whenever you feel that your body doesn't look great . I'll say just stop and look at your spouse's face. They're just so in love with it . Also you never need anyone's validation. You're just beautiful the way you're. Motherhood is a blessing. I'm hearing.

I am woman, I am fearless

I am sexy, I'm divine

I'm unbeatable, I'm creative

Honey, you can get in line

I am feminine, I am masculine

I am anything I want

I can teach you, I can love you

If you got it goin' on.

Your spouse will always be there to cheer you up. They'll always do the effort to make you feel better . They'll try hard to satisfy your pregnancy cravings lol. A keeper. And answer your funny stupid questions while they're doing important work. They'll be like yeahh this is so my wife 🌚 . They may also take you to sit often in moonlight and chat with you while they're laying your lap rubbing your womb. They're so protective of you in general. They can't stand when you're not in good mood. So your spouse's will take their extra focus on that and maintain peace with you because we all know how moody we all get sometimes and now that you're pregnant it's your right to be moody and grumpy teddy bear. They gonna also buy you maternity dresses and flowers in which you'll look mystical they might even click your pics and save them for later. They'll watch all the disney movies with you that loved as a kid.

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Pile दो

So like pile 1 you're your spouse's queen too 👑✨ . They'll be source of your happiness. They'll make you the happiest. They'll see the fashion show you do for them when you come back from shopping. They'll hype you up and make you feel worthy of all of it . There eyes will only be at you and you only . You've charmed them up , you've rizzed them up already. If you ever get the thoughts like my spouse might leave me no they won't they probably left you for planning a surprise for you. Probably went to buy your favourite drinks and some food to catch along with. Well, your fs may get hurt or sad by seeing you to go through all those changes during pregnancy like pregnancy symptoms : morning sickness, dehydration, dizziness, anxiety, etc All those pains and hardships that women has to go through while nourishing a human being inside their womb. They may feel like it's already enough for them to make them see all the good and bad changes you went throughout pregnancy. I see they're big in the kitchen. They'll always be there to cook home-made meal for you with their own hands and serve it to you beautifully to make you feel like you're in restaurant. They may even act like a waiter when they serve you up. I feel they maybe enrolling you up in drawing and painting classes too which can be outdoors like in some fields or gardens. They're gonna put all the work aside and leave it all if there's one phone call coming from you . They'll come barefoot for you I swear. As I said they are not able to see you in any pain they'll do whatever in their reach is to make you feel comfortable like giving you hugs , rubbing your feet etc . Hehe they love your hairs so they'll take extra care of your hairs when you're pregnant. They'll even get you different different hair accessories to accessorize your hairs . They'll take care of your hydration and even say words of affirmation when you drink your water. They may also bring special cups that hold special meanings to both of you in your pregnancy. If anything breaks your heart know that they'll be keeping it out of your sight until you're feeling okay . They may even tell you stories of knight and princess while you go to sleep omggggg🎀

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I hope you liked the reading . Thank you so much for letting me read for you . Wishing you best ahead . 🎀Bless you and have a nice day🌸🐰 I'd love to hear which pile you chose

Loads of love , jam🩷

Exchanges : open , collabs for paps : open

[shradsmanifestt]

You've been affirming and persisting a lot. But you can't help but wonder why it isn't here yet?

I guess this is something a lot of people including me have faced. Believe me I know how it feels. But lemme ask you something. You affirm saying it's already done and then you go behind your own bavk and ask where it is? How does that make any sense?

There's only one solution to this. If it's already done why go search for it? It's done and that's it.

I know we as humans wanna be validated with proper proof that it's done. But c'mon. This is the law of assumption. There's nothing logical about this. You know it, I know it. Every time you affirm just remind yourself that this is your validation. The very fact that you're able to affirm it, makes it true. The fact that you can imagine it, script it , feel it real are all proof that it's done and that's the validation that you need trust me. Just trust me on this.

Manifestation isn't logical. So stop trying to make it logical. You'd fail. Quit trying to make sense of what's happening. It doesn't matter. You don't need to understand how electricity works to use it right? All you need to know when it comes to a lamp is that you switch it on when you need the light and off it when you don't. Likewise you change your thoughts and know what you desire it's already done and that's it. Persist in that and that's all you need to do.

If it was out of reach/ impossible to manifest you wouldn't be able to desire it. It wouldn't be crossing your mind. The very fact that you can want it is all the proof you need. That's it.

Stop being lazy. If you want it you want it otherwise respectfully - fuck off. You can't go whining how it isn't here yet when you're the one who isn't letting it come to you. If you plan to just live your life like others live then why try? Just live your life the way you lived before knowing the law of assumption.

You're only adding more whining and worry on top of your situation. At least before knowing you didn't worry abt how it's gonna manifest.

If you want it badly enough you'd just stfu and persist. You'd stop being a pain in the ass to yourself and put in the discipline. I'm proof that the law works. If you can imagine the number of things that I've manifested over a span of many years you'd know. I'd start posting my stories if you'd like too.

I've known about the law of attraction since I was 13 and my mom gifted me the book - the secret. I always knew there was SOMETHING. By 2020 i learned about the law of assumption and the past 4 years have been pure bliss. Sure I've had my hard times. But in the end it's worth it. It was all worth it. Don't give up. Put in the work. It has no other choice but to manifest.

[preeningpisces]

Nanami NSFW Headcanons

Lemme know if you want me to elaborate/write something about any of these

18+ content below the cut, mdni, implied chubby fem!reader

Enjoy! 💙

☆ Starting controversial agaaaain, but like I said with Toji, I just don’t see him being a hard dom either. This man will never call you a whore, would be offended if you requested he call you a bitch or cumdump—I think he’d be okay with slut, but he wouldn’t say that unless you ask

☆ Very firm about his boundaries, he won’t do anything he doesn’t feel comfortable doing & you won’t be able to change his mind. Very respectful of yours & will never push them

☆ Lowkey loves to be praised & doted on. His ears turn very pink when you tell him how good he’s making you feel, or how big his cock is, or if you tell him his voice is sexy

☆ The fact you find his voice sexy confuses him—he thinks it’s too monotone, and he isn’t exactly the smoothest guy out there with his words. He’s not very talkative in general, and that extends to sex as well. Once you express how much it turns you on, however, he will dirty talk more, and more often as he builds confidence doing it (dirty talk is hard you guys, be patient with him!!!)

☆ Nanami is stiff, and awkward when your sexual relationship begins. He doesn’t have a ton of experience, and his stoic nature can make moments of passion challenging for him. If you’re more experienced, you’ll probably take the lead, and it’s something he’s very thankful for.

☆ If you’re less or equally experienced, he’ll take the lead. He’ll be honest about his own lack of experience, and the two of you will explore uncharted territory together—so sweet

☆ Even during the early stages when he’s awkward his intensity, observant nature, generosity, and thoroughness have an allure of their own

☆ He definitely warms up with time though, so don’t fret. Sex has never been at the forefront of his mind, so he discovers his kinks/preferences through your relationship

☆ As I said before, Nanami is a very generous lover; making you feel good makes him feel good. He’s the type that can come from eating you out, which is especially hot if he’s dressed in those formal clothes of his

☆ He loves toys, uses a vibrator on you almost everytime you have sex. Nanami is a very practical person; the vibrator makes you feel so good, and allows him to put more focus on other ways of pleasing you—why wouldn’t he use it? The notion that some men hate them bc they threaten their egos bewilders him

☆ Your vibrators are basically never dead because Nanami is on TOP of those things; he’s gotta make sure it’s ready for whenever the mood strikes you guys. The days you’re home and he’s at work you’ll occasionally get a ‘is the vibrator on the charger?’ text, reminding you like a parent would their kid about the chicken they’re supposed to thaw LMFAO

☆ Not a tease at all. If you say please he’s gonna do it!! If you tell him you want to be teased in the bedroom he’ll try his best but it doesn’t take much before he relents :/

☆ Breeding kink yes, but I just KNOW he’s a vasectomy man (unless yall decide to pop some kiddos out). He’s just too responsible to be risky, & doesn't want his partner to feel obliged to take on the responsibility of birth control all alone. Perfect man, truly

☆ Nanami loves some good ol’ fashioned missionary—who doesn’t? But he also really enjoys positions where he can just hold you close, and focus on the intimacy of the moment and the physical sensations rather than the visuals. Prone bone, and cuddlefucking are prime examples; when he rests his head in your neck, his free hand squeezing all your softness, he’s in heaven

☆ Nylons, pantyhose, stockings: wear them if you want to get destroyed. If you got thigh-highs that pinch your leg? Hoooooo boy. He’s not typically a biter, but the squishy parts hanging over the stocking will be gnawed on. Just accept they’ll be bruised, you’ll be ok

☆Nanami is very appreciative of lingerie, and does not tear it off, he’ll have you keep them on the whole time

☆ Huuuuge sucker for scents. Perfume, soap, laundry detergent—he appreciates good smells, and once he starts associating certain smells with you they get him going

[wallofchynax]

THE TOUCH THAT MAKES YOU CRAZY

Husband!Seth Rollins x Reader: Body Worship Headcanons(NSFW)

Authors Note: Believe it or not this wasn't requested. I've been wanting to write something for Seth for a while but wasn't sure what. I've had a few requests for him but the mostly involve another person. But, i'm here to give you some headcanons for this menace.

got a request? send it over to me <3

Husband!Rollins is obessed with you. Every inch of you. Not just in a casual way but in a way that is nearly worshipful. He doesn't just love your body. He worships it. He adores it. He studies it. He memorises it and knows your curves and lines of your body. Every little spot. Every blemish. Everything you decide is an imperfection is perfect to him. Every dip and every curve belongs to him and he'll make you know it when he's having sex with you.

Husband!Rollins cannot keep his hands off of you. Whether it's his fingertips tracing the soft swell of your hips, his palms kneading into your thighs or his arms wrapping around your waist just to feel your body against his, he is addicted to touching you. He loves the way your skin warms under his lips when he kisses your neck, when it pebbles with goosebumps

"God baby, your skin's so fucking soft...I could touch you all night like this..."

Husband!Rollins will not allow you to say one bad thing about your appearence. Of course, it's natural to be insecure about some things and have things you wanna work on but to him that doesn't make sense because he just wants to touch you all the time. To him, you are perfect and he loves you the way that you are, flaws and all. Obviously, if you really wanna work on things, he will support you but he needs you to know that he would never expect you to change for him, ever.

Husband!Rollins loves your legs. He’ll trace them up and down, dragging his fingers over your calves, squeezing the plush of your thighs like he’s testing his grip. If you straddle him? He’s groaning instantly, hands gripping the flesh like he’s afraid you’ll move away.

Husband!Rollins is obsessed with your breasts and ass. The way both fit into his hands in different ways. How your breath hitches when he's kissing down your collarbone, teasing before his mouth brushes over your nipples. When your walking past him in nothing but his shirt and all he can do is watch the way your ass moves. Gripping. Squeezing. Spanking—just enough to make you gasp, just enough to make you feel how much he craves you.

"Damn, babe, this ass is gonna be the death of me."

Husband!Rollins makes you watch yourself in a mirror sometimes because he loves when you finally sees what you see. When there's that look in your eyes when you catch yourself while he's fucking you from behind, making sure he keeps your head up so you can watch yourself. Also getting you to watch yourself when you come in the mirror? Top tier turn on for him.

Husband!Rollins could spend his whole life between his thigs if he could. There’s something about the way they frame his head when he’s between them, how they twitch when his tongue glides over the sensitive spots, how he can feel you shake beneath his fingertips. And when you try to close your legs on him? Forget it. He loves prying them apart, loves making you spread wide for him.

“Uh-uh, lemme see all of you. Don’t hide from me now.”

Husband!Rollins likes to praise you. He needs you to know how much he worships you. From whispered “God, you’re beautiful” against your skin to murmured “I could stay between these thighs forever” while trailing kisses down your body, he makes sure you never forget just how much he loves every single inch of you.

Husband!Rollins isn't done touching you just because you've came. He presses kisses to your shoulders, pulling you against him before he needs to feel you. When he sees marks all over your skin, all the places he's worshipped you, it just makes him feel great as he places kisses over them.

"Damn, baby… look so pretty covered in me."

[vonlycaonwife]

Could I request Nicole and Harumasa finding their lover hugging a bangboo version of them?

I want-no, NEED a Harumasaboo plush

Considering what I know about Haru's trust story, I gave this a small change. Same vibes though for what you requested!! I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: spoilers for Haru trust story, spoilers for main story if you haven't done the part before chapter 5

Honestly she doesn't have much of a problem with you cuddling with Amillion a lot. At least that's what she tells everyone.

In reality she's absolutely side eyeing it whenever you give the bangboo just a little bit too much attention. She won't say anything, but she will push herself closer and all but vocally demand attention.

Amillion isn't normally used to a lot of affection, at least from others beside Nicole, so she's just hogging all the attention and loving it.

It's a funny sight to behold for anyone who sees it. You treating Amillion like her namesake, Nicole huffing and puffing before being placate with a kiss, and Amillion herself getting swarmed with affection by both parents.

Because yes my friend, she now sees you as her second parent and no one can change that. Nicole doesn't help either by immediately going along with it.

At least you have both girls protecting you from scammers? Though you still get scammed by them but with affection in this case.

You know, when Harumasa first commissioned someone to make some customized bangboos based on him and his coworkers. He only did it to get over the trauma he had over turning into one in the simulation. But now he's starting to regret it, immensely.

While at first he was happy that Asaboo was there to give you company while he was working, he's seriously starting to get pissed off at how…clingy it was.

For example, whenever he was aiming for some “much needed emergency cuddles” (in his words) to “cure his sickness”, as he would begin to get closer the bangboo would immediately push him away to cling onto his partner!

It doesn't help that it also mimics his sick act! “E-Ehn eh-na…(T-Too sick)” “Oh you poor baby.” “Baaaaabe, I'm sick too~” “Oh, lemme-” “E-Eh-na! *cough* Na! Na! (N-No! *cough* Stay! Stay!)” “Awww, okay okay.” “Hey!”

He knew he was a bit possessive, but he doesn't think he's this bad! The thing is practically glaring at him all the time when you're not looking as well. So of course he's gonna glare back. “Haru, stop glaring at the poor thing.” “He started it!” “Ehn-na! (Liar!)”

It's honestly gotten to a point where he has to lock the thing in one of the rooms to prevent it from disrupting on alone time with his partner. “Haru, it's crying and coughing.” “It's just faking babe.” Crash! “Uh…Haru-” “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

Part of him wants to apologize profusely to his coworkers for having to deal with himself now that he's on the other end of the act.

[buckysgrace]

Can we get some daddy billy hcs!

Absolutely I can!! Where's that picture of Dacre holding the baby?

Certified girl!dad. Idk why I picture him having girls more than boys? Slightly because of his trauma with his dad and then from looking after Max perhaps?

Anyhow the big macho man you know is definitely letting his lil gals paint his nails and put lipstick on him and going all extra with it.

They also looooove his hair? So blonde and curly? They're playing with it all the time (and he does love it).

Very soft with his sons tho? I think mainly because he doesn't want them to feel what he felt so?? But he loves all of his kids the same hehe.

Lots of sports! He will be playing outside with his kids all the time. They will not be rotting inside hehe.

But also fun fun fun movie nights.

he also thinks it's soooo hilarious when his kids start cussing. He's like ok ok you shouldn't say that but.... but it's very funny

has fun nicknames for the bun in the oven (thus where the name Cherry came from hehehe)

Even more funny nicknames as his kids get older?

I also see him purposely having children when he's closer to his mid twenties and early thirties?? accidentally is another story lmao

so in love the first time his lil bby smiles at him ugh he just cannot believe he made something so soft and sweet

Definitely nervous the first time he holds his baby. Cannot believe how tiny they are?? And he's so afraid he's gonna hurt them omg

on being tiny, I do think he produces smaller babies for some reason?? just itty bitty but also chubby??

But also, he is a baby hog. He will be holding his baby for as long as possible. And is at attention whenever someone else is holding them.

I think he also just as a natural touch? Like he just has an easier time to get his kids settled down if they're fussy? A bit of a baby whisperer if you will.

Also lots of sleepless nights just driving his kid around when they're restless.

Takes his turn to change diapers but he's also not jumping on it lmao. Definitely tries to get out of it if he can.

A master at burping the children tho ok. And cleaning up spit up soooooo

thinks it's so funny when babies get milk drunk too

Also so good at swaddling your baby. And then pretends he's going to eat them like a burrito to get them giggling <3

Convinced that his music also helps settle the babies, so he's definitely in the rocking chair jamming out with them.

Loves to kiss his babies toes. He thinks their little feet are just so cute.

Does whatever he can to get the kids to say dada first too lmaoo. he just thinks it's so special

also think he'd ensure that you get your proper breaks?? like yeah yeah just got off of work but ill watch the kids and you go do something nice for a lil break

For their first christmas he pretends to wrap them up in gift wrap like a present and the kids thought it was sooooo hilarious that it has become a routine now

Definitely getting a tattoo for his kids but I cannot decide exactly what?? Something sweet but not too cute ya know. Maybe just their names?? much to think about there

I think as a dad he's very soft with his kids, but also strict at the same time? His patience definitely grew as a father, but he's still stern enough to let them know his expectations?

Lots of fun swimming trips to the beach tho. Teaches them how to swim at an early age and then how to surf of course. Definitely lets his kids bury him in the sand too.

Oh, but he's still smoking lmao. Better about not doing it near them, but he's not giving them up either lmao.

Hope you enjoyed!! I can yap about daddy billy forever soooo lemme know!!

[swxxtsxcchxrine]

I feel like i need more emphasis on Miguel's level of nasty because he is just messy. point blank period. imagine he's got you on all fours, your face is stuffed into the sheets of your shared bed, he has your arse in the air all the while his face is stuffed right in your pussy. he's sucking and slurping on your cunt from the back because he knows you like it. maybe too much. one hand is laying comfortably on your bum cheek while the other holds your hands in place on the small of your back to diminish any attempts you have to run away. not that you would anyways. his face moves up and down your slick slit, his tongue prodding at your tight hole. he groans in satisfaction as you push your hips into his face and cry out a silly version of his name. his hand squeezes your cheek in affirmation "that's it, bonita," he praises. his words go straight to your sticky cunny as he slurps loud enough for the neighbours and their mothers to hear. he lifted his head momentarily just to spit on your puckered hole: watching as the fat glob slides down the globe of your arse, not before catching it with a finger and sliding it in. he feels you tight hole squeeze as he stares in awe. he lowers his head back onto your throbbing clit and starts suckling on it, drinking up your sweet juices in tandem. he shakes his head from side to side receiving a high pitched sob from you in return. he brings down his heavy hand to slap your soft bum, hard. he rubs the sore spot as his finger continues to work on your ass. he's moaning and groaning, whining and whimpering into your cunt that he loves too much. "Miguel...you have to stop, i need a break PLEASE!" you plead no avail. infact, he pushes another finger into your tight hole. you silently plead he's not hoping to stuff his hefty cock into your puckered hole. it's already too overwhelming for you. he's still playing with your hot pussy while still at it with your rim. he removes his fingers from your asshole and watches it clench and unclench uncontrollably as your orgasm hits like a truck. he lewdly spreads your cheeks apart, mouth agape, watching your tight holes squeeze around empty air, waiting so patiently to be filled by his pretty, long, thick, heavy, pleasurable, delicious, tasty, mouth watering, eye rolling, name yelling, soul snatching, creaming and screaming, sobbing and rolling around the floor, toe curling, earth shattering, squirting fountains, mood lifting, dopamine giving, life changing, powerful thrust, pretty, dark brown tipped - remember nips match tips - veiny all over, a proper 8-9 inches, he's definitely a grower, he grows while he's inside of you so its the most delicious stretch everr, undeniably good, leg shaking, heart wrenching, name forgetting, drooling, mind dumbing, mind breaking, back arching COCK.

i'll glad be on my knees for THIS man. 🥴like im not even joking brooo ill do jumping jacks on the d just for him he can dump ALL the cum he wants in ME, i'll gladly be the mother of his children. i swear, ill be the perfect little wife for him. he wakes up in the morning to freshly made breakfast and coffee. his clothes are washed, dried and ironed to perfection. his shoes are clean and polished, his shower is already running at the perfect temp. he comes home from work? i'll great him with a fat kiss and a home cooked meal. the recliner is out the tv is on his favourite show, when he's getting ready for bed, its ready made, his clothes for tommorrow are out and im waiting for him in bed. i need him so bad he doesn't understand i'm so upset why isn't he real. like...who am i ever going to find thats gonna compare? will i ever find someone that compares, omg imagine if i don't...☠️☠️☠️☠️ see lemme not God forbid🙏🏾

🫨 (ignore that i just wanted to use the emoji ibr)

[princessozera]

so, random thought, there's a good chance the demon bros inadvertently harmed mc in some capacity just because human and demon limits are so vastly different, and the main human any have had contact with is Solomon, whose humanity is somewhat debatable. mc might act like they're invincible, but they are human in the end, and human durability is largely that we can keep going after almost any injury, not that we don't get injured

like Lucifer strings them up as he would his brothers, forgetting (assume he's really tired or stressed or whatever) that doing so puts a lot of pressure on the body and can cause actual damage instead of just being annoying like it is to his brothers. depending on how exactly he ties them up it'd change the effects but it's never gonna be great for them

Mammon running away from shenanigans with them and he tugs on their hand a bit too hard and fast to get them safely around a corner and dislocates their shoulder in the process because force = mass x speed and Mammon is a speedy boy. or he's running from Lucifer and slams into them at top speed, and if they can't protect their head from the wall/floor you know Mams is freaking out because mc is all out of it and there's so much blood and he doesn't care how Lucifer punishes him as long as he makes sure mc is alright

otaku Levi with his nonexistent sleep schedule doesn't realise just how badly sleep deprivation affects humans. paranoia, weakened immune system, depersonalisation, all the way to sleep deprivation psychosis. you go 96 hours or 4 days without sleep and lemme tell you, you ain't properly attached to reality anymore. been there, done that, would not recommend. there were bugs crawling all over my arms and legs and shadow people whispering. fucking sucked, and I was constantly shaking so I kept dropping stuff

if anyone knows about human durability, at least in theory, it's Satan, but the avatar of wrath can be emotionally charged. he really didn't mean to hurt them, but he was trying so hard not to lose it that day and as he led mc out of his room so they wouldn't be caught in the inevitable explosion, his deadly sharp claws nicked their skin. the wounds were mostly superficial— hurt like a bitch but no major arteries were damaged— but there was quite a lot of blood and Satan felt sick in a way he never had before. humans scar easily, a useful trait to close open wounds quickly, but Satan hates that he was the cause of those raised lines

Asmo is probably best at remembering since he hangs out with Solomon and has had human lovers before, but he is mostly around Solomon who cannot die. so he doesn't always remember what is and isn't toxic for humans, especially since a lot of poisons are used in medicines at lower doses and a lot of things we need to live are poisonous if we consume enough. it'd only take one slip up to put mc in hospital, and of course they don't blame him but he begs Satan to teach him as much as he can so it never happens again

you know Beel would try his best to remember, and he'd feel horribly guilty if he ever hurt mc, but he's big and strong even by demon standards and can eat anything that isn't Solomon's cooking. there's a few ways this one could go— sharing food with them that's toxic to humans, hugging them a bit too hard, mc giving him their food and going hungry, they work out together and they get hurt... take your pick

and Belphie knows all too well how fragile mc is, so he's very careful with his demonic strength around them. he already killed them once with barely any effort. but one day he wakes up from napping with mc to find he held them too hard and they're bruising. maybe his arm curled around their neck as it bloomed black and blue once again. Belphie doesn't nap with them for a while after that

! ANON! 💕💕💕💕

I don't know how you sniped me from across the highway but whump/injuries are exactly my cup of obsession and I've thought about this forever- i just never really had enough to make a full post. I LOVE your ideas and I hope you dont mind me bouncing some of my own off them;

----

Lucifer and his funny little habit of hanging his brothers 💕 Say he takes pity on MC, makes sure they're right side up, nothing around the neck and only tied beneath the arms and around the legs. Plans to take them down in 5 minutes, really it was meant to be the pet equivalent of air jail. But a call here, difficulties there and 5 minutes turn to 10 and then it slips to 15. It's so little time, absolutely nothing compared to the nights he's left Mammon up over the banister.

So why are there screams in the hall? Why are Asmo, Mammon and Levi on the phone with Solomon, Barbatos, and Simeon respectively? He doesn't understand why they don't immediatley drop MC down, only catching the tail end of Solomon explaing something called "suspension trauma" to Asmo. When they do get MC down, even from a distance he can see the color is almost completely gone from their face, while their legs are a few shades darker. He watches Satan mouth out the count for MC's pulse, quick and staggering. When MC wakes, they can't seem to take a proper breath- gasping, clutching their chest, tearing up and confused. There isn't much more any of them can do, other than stand back and hand MC over to Barbatos and Solomon.

----

In a movie, it would be considered slapstick comedy, the way that Mammon skid around a corner full speed, carpet pulling under his feet , hip checking the wall as he ran away from Lucifer. In a movie it would be hilarious they way him and MC crashed, sending them literally flying back, head bouncing off the wall, swirls in their eyes and stars dancing around their head. In a movie they would only need to shake it off and get up to yell at him, with Lucifer standing back and watching in smug satisfaction.

But there wasn't anything funny about this, MC slumped in his arms, blood turning his tshirt into a darker shade of black, making it tacky and stick onto his skin. They're awake, sort of? But their pupils aren't the same size, and the speech is slurred. There's a truce as Lucifer heals MC, and they get them to a proper doctor.

Mammon gets better at ducking and weaving around MC, it even helps him evade Lucifer better. But MC doesn't escape the dislocated shoulders, and unwanted popping of their knuckles when Mammon holds their hand too hard. Neither had known that after the first dislocation, its a lot easier to dislocate your should again. It's never intentional, but it always hurts- MC tries to breathe through it if there is an urgency, but Mammon catches the way they pointedly look away, trying to blink the tears away, and knows that he's- once again- failed to keep MC out of harm.

---------

Levi being MC's energy drink dealer. He doesnt know why they dont but their own, but he has plenty so he ultimately doesnt mind sharing. They're not attached at the hip so he doesnt see how little sleep MC is getting, a single can carrying them through 2 whole days. They know its time to 1-up again when their heart stops sounding like helicopter blades.

He finds them on the floor of their room, rubbing their arms raw with the hard bristle brush Asmo uses to buff his horns, babbling incoherently to themselves.

-----

With Satan the physical is NEVER intentional, as much as he used to rage in the early days of the fall, the thought of hurting MC didn't sit well with him. But tiny nicks are so easy to cause when even his regular nails are sharper than a humans'. If MC can keep their reactions subtle, it wont be until Satan is laying in their lap that he notices the "freckles" on their arms don't quite lay flat.

When you're used to fast reflexes, you don't think twice about slamming a door in someone's face. Someone (MC) who was too close and now has a broken, bloody nose. Now whenever the snore in their sleep, or their nose whistles when they laugh too hard, Satan remembers opening the door to MC doubled over, blood leaking from between their fingers as they tried to put pressure on the bridge of their nose.

-------

Dosage and concentration.

Asmo is vaugely familiar with these terms- SPF strength, alcohol proofing, acidity in his skin care. He's had so many spa nights with Solomon that he doesn't think twice about sharing his skin care routine with MC as well. Powders, gels, creams, exfoliants. Some a bit too harsh, MC's skin turns warm and flush, so he thinks their skin is sensitive. He'd ask for help caring for his wings and horns. MC goes in with their bare hands to get a good scrub, attributing the burn to the rough edges and upturned edges of Asmo's horns. It feels like icyhot, so it must be working. When they're done, Asmo tries to take the rest of the cream off their hands to apply to his hands, but they both scream as a visible layer of skin from MC starts peeling off as well. The acid having fulling numbed and killed off most of the senses in MC's hand, had started to deteriorate the skin, and its by some small blessing that MC hadnt already applied it to their face. It takes a panicked called to Solomon to get the feeling back into MC's hands, but it still takes weeks for the skin to grow back on to their hands. The pain of bandages on raw muscle is excruciating, and Asmo sticks to them like glue, fully taking the blame for their condition.

-----

Beel and Belphie have another trauma to share as twins- nearly killing MC in their sleep! Beel doesnt understand how heavy an unconcious body can be, and being as large as he is, this becomes a problem the first time him and MC share a bed. He falls asleep with an arm draped over them, but exhaustion from practice has him rolling on to them. Even if not entirely covering them, the weight on their chest makes it hard to breathe and MC soon drops nicities and is trying their damnest to get him off or at least wake him up. Its a panicked use of the pacts to call another brother that saves them, and Beel cant sleep for the rest of the night.

Belphie doesn't have as many night terrors these days, but they can still get bad. Usually sleeping with MC can keep these dreams at bay, but on nights that they dont, he wakes up to find MC tossed onto the floor or squeezed between him and the wall. On the worsts of these nights, he woke up to MC screaming, having wrapped a hand and tail so tightly around their arm that it shattered in 2 places.

(Can I also offer a beel and belphie alternative: MC wanting to match Beel's stamina/ gym workout time and getting muscle deterioration. Belphie wanting a sleeping partner so he messes up their sleeping cycles, 10+ hrs asleep, accidentally depriving them of light, water, and food, causing a depressive episode)

[ckret2]

hey, first of all I have to say that your bill cipher fic is genuinely one of the best fics I’ve read in a while. the amount of work you put in plot and characters is incredible. every new chapter makes my week.

i was wondering if your thoughts (or headcanons) on jheselbraum changed at all after the book of bill came out. will bill’s relationship with her be mentioned in the fic ?

hope you have a nice day !!

My original headcanon was that she was Oracle to the Axolotl and that was it. Wasn't close to Bill, had possibly never even met Bill. Everything she knew about Bill came from the Axolotl being like "let me tell you some shit about this fucked up guy I know, it's important for you to know in case he tries to destroy your universe or something." since I headcanon the Axolotl as a divine defense attorney (Bill's attorney specifically), I also headcanon that from the Axolotl's POV his Oracles (there have been many) are like intern newsbloggers and he tells them things about his big cases so they can pass on that info to the local community (i.e., the mortals who come to them for their wisdom, like Ford did with Jhes).

Post-TBOB, obviously "she has no connection to Bill" doesn't work anymore. According to TBOB, she was a Henchmaniac and she helped design a portal, possibly the portal—we don't know whether Bill's using the same design or if he goes through tons of new ones all the time.

So, my new headcanon is that she was one of the many scientists Bill contacted to try to get them to build a portal so he could break into their universe. Ford was one of those scientists, Pyronica was one of those scientists (and I had that headcanon before TBOB listed one of her skills as quantum physics, so lemme toot my own horn for that), and now Jheselbraum was one of those scientists.

I've decided that, in his capacity as divine defense attorney, sometimes the Axolotl helps get at-risk mortals out of lifestyles where they would probably start committing crimes against reality—and since the Ax already works with Bill, he was in a perfect position to meet Jhes and help her escape the Henchmaniacs when she decided she was in over her head and wanted to live a saner lifestyle. Bill still resents him for this, but like, what's he gonna do? Get another attorney??

From there on my headcanons about her role as Oracle are the same, with the change that she knew Bill personally, but learned the truth about his backstory from the Ax.

My original plan for the Henchmaniacs in the fic was for them to start planning to move out of the Nightmare Realm to another more stable dimension, and for this info to eventually make its way to Bill. With the new info from TBOB, I'm just inserting "they're planning to move to the dimension Jhes suggested to them on TINAWDC" and continuing on with my original plan. I'm sure Bill's relationship to her will be mentioned at some point in the fic as relevant, but I don't have any big important plans for her beyond her new role in helping the Henchmaniacs get ready for evacuation.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕀𝕟𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕠𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Hope requests aren't closed. Could I request Gepard, Argenti, Dan Heng, and Jing Yuan with a s/o who is an excellent inventor? Toys, machines, they can make anything.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ They weren't when you requested so you're good! Also, I don't write for Argenti so hope you don't mind me changing him for Serval! She just suits here so well and I need more of the girlies so you can say I kinda took the opportunity there~ Anyway, hope it's still up to your liking!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Dan Heng probably knows both a lot and a little about subject of inventing

✧ he read about it and even saw few constructions due to adventuring from planet to planet, but he also never really did it himself

✧ you'll have to introduce him to all the shortcuts while inventing something because he knows just the long and boring way, like instructions said, he'll do the exact steps

✧ he doesn't really mind and find it actually quite interesting to help you around

✧ but if your workshop is loud... he may not be big fan... and if you're trabilazer like him and all the noise is coming from the next room? Yeah, he'd loose it...

"Y/N. How about we go grab some sweets and you finish your work later? I need a break..."

✧ don't get him wrong, he's happy you're working on your skills but he just doesn't like the noise and would much prefer go on a walk while you work

✧ but at least he helps you with cleaning and quieter parts of inventing!

✧ tho if you live on planet and he rarely visits you we it is... he may not mind the noise as much. He's simply more focused on spending some quality time with you than that

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane @toyaswif3y - come get your quiet but scary trabilazer!

✧ Gepard is honestly happy for your achievements and you probably met each other through Serval

✧ but... let no one ask him who's better inventor... he's not gonna be able to choose between you and his sister so he'll end up with basic answer, simply saying you're both great which he's not lying about

✧ but if we can avoid that, he knows quite a bit about it so he'll often drop by and see how you're doing

✧ and if you need help, he wouldn't mind doing so we long as he's not busy

✧ if he won't know something... he can always ask you or Serval if you'll need some professional advice too!

✧ this boy is so busy and now he also has 2 inventors to help... he often leaves you or Serval mid day to go to another one, so he won't seem like he's playing favorites because he loves you both equally, just in different ways

"Hey love, I'll go see how Serval's doing, okey? I'll come back later so I can help you more since I know you're busy. I'll be back in 1 of 2 hours."

✧ but... Serval often kicks him out to help his partner, she's like tou cupid if you think about it...

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Serval is too!! You guys either met through work and bonded OR became close and just later realized you're both inventors

✧ when you were far enough into relationship, she definitely wanted to combine your two workshops so instead of "competing against each other", you could work together

✧ and lemme tell you... if you do it, your business is going CRAZY since you're both one of the best inventors in Belebog

✧ if you ever struggle with idea, fixing or making something, she's the one you should go for!

✧ she knows you're a bit better than her and will often mention it, not because she had low self-esteem but because she's proud girlfriend and wants to compliment you

"Hehe~ C'mon, you're the best at it! You need to teach me your trick someday, alright? In exchange... I could take you on a date next week! I'll clear my schedule so we can spend entire day with each other."

✧ expect her to be a little flirty from time to time when you work, sneaking little notes between not important machines so you'll wonder why it's not working just to find love letter there, or send some flying little robot with hear or chocolates on it... many can happen when she's in the playful mood!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Jing Yuan most likely knows every citizen of Xianzhou Luofu, some worse some better... so he definitely knew you even before you got into relationship

✧ but your relationship either developed by him hiring you one day or him getting w little crush and visiting you often

✧ and when you're together, he'll often drop by to see how you're doing and he'll you around

✧ and when he can't come check up on you because of his work... he'll simply send someone to you! It can be either Cloud Knight on patrol or Yanqing passing by

✧ he loves seeing how much you can do with just the idea and materials. So he'll sometimes sit down next to you and watch you work

✧ his favorite thing is to see the project developed all the way from simple scratch to finished product

✧ he'll also remind you of breaks, taking you out for something sweet or to restaurant whenever you finish project you've been working for days

"It looks great, my dear. Now let's go eat something. My treat. Trust me, you deserve it for all the good work you did there."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@miya-akane - come get your soft general~

[shradsmanifestt]

I changed my mind about being Delusional

Now before you come for me lemme make this clear.

There are some of you who are quite set up in their minds that believing that their imagination as the true reality is quite hard. Now for you guys I'd say be delusional in the fact that, yes, you already have it and that's the truth.

But at this point of time in my life, my views are changing slightly. I mean what is delusional about this? How can saying that I already have what I want is delusional when I literally already have it? Right?

Now this right here is all you need to manifest what you want okay. This right here . Now Imma add more stuff to it so you're gonna finally get rid of all those doubts you have.

Accepting that you have what you want is not being delusional. Ordering something you want and knowing that it is coming to you, now is that being delusional? I mean you literally just ordered it. That's how this kindof works. The minute you accepted it as true in your reality, it was yours. No going back on that anymore. It's when you go back and forth with what you want and what you think you don't have, being inconsistent, not being disciplined and all such stuff, that you're "struggling".

Stop allowing these stuff in your reality. I mean c'mon why would you want to suffer in your reality when you can LITERALLY live the life of your dreams.

Also another thing, there is no such thing as giving up on your manifestation, so lemme make that VERY CLEAR.

You are always manifesting - irrespective of whether you want to or not. Your life is shaped by your assumptions and you knowing about this or not knowing about this doesn't take away anything from that fact. THIS IS A FACT OF LIFE. Not someone's opinion or some weird jumbo mumbo weird witchy stuff or anything. It is a FACT. So even if you decide that you're done with all of this and decide to stop manifesting because - " Manifesting is hard for you" or " You've been trying so long and it won't manifest" or "Others can manifest but you can't" or other buts.... That's exactly what you're manifesting right????!!!

I mean look at this -

" It's not happening" - yep it isn't happening. " I can't manifest this" - yep you didn't manifest it. "I can't lose weight" - True, you're not losing weight. "He doesn't like me" - On point, like damnnn you're right he's just not into you.

You REAP WHAT YOU SOW. That's all there is to it. You assumed -You get it.

In one way you really are a master manifestor, cause damnn dudee you just manifested exactly what you assumed as true. It's so amazing how you got exactly what you assumed as true right? Hand off to you and Congratulations.

Be the change, if you can manifest not having it so perfectly, you can manifest having it just as perfectly.

[lalathemediterraneanmermaid]

What do ikevill suitors smell like? PT.2

Hi little robins, this is pt.2 of "What do ikevil suitors smell like?". I've included the three new babies villains, the Vogel boys. Eventhough we don't know much about them, I couldn't resist including them here, because I already love those sillies. Soooo, enjoy, my dears!!! Btw, just like in pt.1, I tried to put the same amount of perfumes on each boy, except for Elbie, our greedy boy.

Elbert Greetia

A melancholic, porcelain-doll-looking nobleman. Our Ethereal Prince. My Greedy Boy. As beautiful as a work of art. He has a little maniacal obsession with collecting the most beautiful things in the world, just for himself, that's why he has so many perfumes, he can't decide which one he likes the most, so he keeps buying new fragrances. "I want. I want. I want… If only I could find it, then surely..." Love, let me hold your hand while telling you this: you are the mot beautiful thing in the world. His ocean-blue eyes and long, fluttering lashes hold such a sorrowful gaze. If it weren't because of his curse, he could perfectly be part of ikemen prince, you can't change my mind. I love Elbie, and I can't wait to play his route over and over again. He reminds me of a rain-soaked garden with a gazebo full of roses in the middle. He reminds me of a nostalgic walk along a solitary beach at dusk. He reminds me of a magical forest bathed in silver moonlight. He definitely smells clean, soft, and ethereal, with perhaps some citrusy notes blended with salty-marine hints that reflect his love for beach walks.

Notes: Bergamot, lemon, aldehydes, orange blossom, jasmine, lavender, sea salt, sandalwood, white musk and amber.

Perfumes he might like:

De Profundis - Serge Lutens

Un Jardin Apres La Mousson - Hermès

Wood Sage & Sea Salt - Jo Malone

Aqua Allegoria Teazzurra - Guerlain

L’Eau Froide - Serge Lutens

Sel Marin - James Heeley

Fou d’Absinthe - L’Artisan Parfumeur

Meomir Man - Amouage

Ninfeo Mio - Goutal

Jude Jazza

The Cunning & Ruthless Mobster. Crown's personal Maleficent. Silvio 2.0. A mean pookie who enjoys the problems and suffering of others. "All your yappin's real noisy. Lemme shut ya up.” OMG he even speaks like Silvio. Pretty sure he's kinky af, he may be into chains or something similar. "He's earned himself many enemies" Nah, really? I would've never guessed, not with that golden retriever personality of his. "He always fulfills his promises and expects the same of others, holding a special one close to his festering heart." You see? He has a heart, allegedly. Anyways, we're here to talk about scents, aren't we? I feel like he smells like tobacco and liqueur, I'm 100% sure. And, I don't know why, I can sense some kind of smell that reminds me of sylvester bushes and a really old library, full of dust. Of course, we can't forget that he has money *cough, cough, Silvio, cough*, so he also needs a really expensive scent. He probably doesn't have a favourite perfume, because he slays at layering them and creating new scents that combine with his radiant and bubbly personality.

Notes: Liqueur, cognac, tobacco, black pepper, cinnamon, bergamot, cedarwood, sandalwood, leather, amber and vetiver.

Perfumes he might like:

Man In Black - Bvlgari

Tobacco Vanille - Tom Ford

Angels' Share - By Killian

Straight to Heaven - By Killian

The Tragedy of Lord George - Penhaligon's

1740 Marquis de Sade - Histoires de Parfums

Ellis Twilight

The little sunshine oddball filled with happiness and joy. Have you seen those cute little curls in his hair? *OMG he's so fluffy I'm gonna dieeee.* He wants to reveal the happiest moments of other people’s lives (and then kill them). He really has a peculiar obsession (another impulsive maniacal wow, such a surprise hahan't.) for the "happiest moment" in others' lives and his own definition of "love" he's striving to prove (Alexa, play "Safer" by Tyla). “Tell me, how happy are you right now…?” If I tell you I'm depressed will you let me live?. Crown's youngest member and Jude's assistant (I don't even know what to think anymore, poor Ellis or poor Jude?). Anyways, as the mentally ill person that I am, I'll patiently wait for his route release. Back to the scents, he loves crispy baguettes and raspberry jam. I feel like he smells like a twisted picnic in a forest at dusk, with pink roses, fresh bread and berries. Clean, but with earthy and woody hints. Since he is such a people pleaser, he doesn't have a favourite perfume, he's just going to wear whatever you like the most, even if it's nothing, even if it's gasoline.

Notes: Mandarine, grapefruit, raspberry, rose, bread, cedarwood, vanilla, oak moss and amber.

Perfumes he might like:

By The Fireplace - Maison Margiela

Eau Rose - Diptyque

Aventus for Her - Creed

Memoirs of a Trespasser - Imaginary Authors

Pomegranate Noir - Jo Malone

Mûre et Musc - L’Artisan Parfumeur

Darius Vogel

The so called Untrustworthy Cruel Angel, or what I prefer, Chevalier and Gilbert's love child. He truly looks as beautiful and ethereal as an angel, but so did Lucifer, and he ended up ruling Hell, so... we'll have to wait to see him in action... According to Victor in his Vicpedia "Is he an angel or a devil? You’ll have to find out for yourself." “Hello cursed people and everyone else. Won’t you join me in building a wonderful world?” Vlad, is that you? The angelic head of the German empire’s direct organisation, “Vogel”. Referencing Victor on his Vicpedia, "Though he looks like an angel, there’s a strong scent of evil coming from him." So, translated to scents, what does that exactly smells like? Based on what we know, which is not much, if not nothing, I will say that his scent matches his appearance, so maybe a really light, soft, airy and beautiful opening, with white flowers and white musk, very angelic-like, with a "punch" of something much more obscure beneath the surface, maybe some spices, sweet liqueurs and dark woods. All that in a winter-like scenery, very cold, like a breath on top of a glacier.

Notes: Bergamot, jasmine, gardenia, lily of the valley, snowdrop, foxglove, cypress, sandalwood, cinnamon, black pepper, oak moss and absinthe.

Perfumes he might like:

The Language Of Glaciers - Imaginary Authors - His favourite

Nightingale - Zoologist Perfumes

Viking - Creed

Reflection Man - Amouage

La Religieuse - Serge Lutens

Poivre Noire - Serge Lutens

Nica Schwartz

Just like Jude is the villanous version of Silvio from ikeprince, I feel like Nica is Nokto's doppelganger in ikevillains. A frivolous and cunning person who plays with love. He gives me foxy vibes, but in a darker and colder way. He's referred to as "Vogel’s brain" and seems to have a knack for manipulation and has an eye for money and power. “Guten Tag, cute robin. I want you to be my toy", yep, we have yet another fox. He's a bookworm, but, apparently, is just so he can gain more and more knowledge so he can play with you all. In the official information given directly by Cybird, it says that Nica resents shows of affection, but he still plays with you like a toy. Doesn't that sounds like he's desperate for someone loving him? "He resents love because he has never been given some." Again, this are just assumptions based on what we know and the vibes that I get from him. In conclusion, beneath that foxy-like appearance, I feel like he may have a huge heart of gold that he is too afraid to share. If I had to translate that vibe into a scent, it would probably be something seductive but fresh and sweet at the same time, something more "wild" like a fox playing in a field, but with a cooler vibe, maybe between winter and spring.

Notes: Bergamot, vetiver, jasmin, fruity, leather, ambar, incense, musk, lily of the valley, wild flowers, vanilla, honey, tulip and pink pepper.

Perfumes he might like:

Fox in the Flowerbed - Imaginary Authors - His favourite

L'homme Ideal - Guerlain

Yesterday Haze - Imaginary Authors

XJ 1861 Naxos - Xerjoff

Tam Dao - Diptyque

Snowy Owl - Zoologist Perfumes

Ring Schwartz

The love of my life pt. I already lost the count. The cute Vogel's guard dog. Dariu's puppet and Licht's doppelganger.  "This younger twin suffers from blushing easily" Victor please stop, I can't take it anymore. “If you don’t want your life to be taken, don’t get in the way of us, Vogel.” Okay cute puppy, whatever you say. From what we know, Ring seems cold when you first approach him, but he will be on his knees at the minimum show of affection towards him. So, if you play with his heart, you'll not only have Nica going for you, I'll be there too. Based on the information that Cybird has given us, he seems to be shy and cold, since one of his hobbies is "being in the corner of a room", still, it's not like he is an antisocial, we can guess that because the thing that he resents the most is "eating alone". The other hobby that he has is "taking a nap while looking at the sky" this tells me that he prefers quiet places where he can feel at peace, and somehow it also gives me the vibes of a dreamer, since "looking at the sky" is kind of poetic and it can symbolise freedom, if you know what I mean. In his skills he mixes two aspects that seem quite radical, combat skills and martial arts, along with a really good relationship with animals and an understanding of plants and flowers. When I say radical, in this case, I mean it's that one thing is "agressive" and "tough" while the other is so much more "soft" and "light energy". That aspect of dichotomy or duality is the most important characteristic of Ring, and it needs to be reflected on his scent.

Notes: Grapefruit, black pepper, ginger, lavender, vanilla, lily of the valley, snowdrop, leather, sandalwood, amber and forget-me-not.

Perfumes he might like:

The Noir 29 - Le Labo

Jubilation XXV - Amouage

Pardon - Nasomatto

Russian Leather - Memo Paris

Hyrax - Zoologist Perfumes

Burning Ben - Strangers Parfumerie - His favourite

And here it ends the "What do ___ suitors smell like?" Ikemen Villains edition. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as mucha as I have enjoyed writing it. You've probably noticed that the ikevil version of these series is pretty much less humorous than the ikeprince version. I think it is mainly because, eventhough both games characters are so well written and have a lot of traumas and issues, I still think that Ikemen Villains is the darkest one, and so, the one with less humorous content. And also, I tried to understand each character, that's why the character's descriptions are so long, sorry for that hehe. Anyways, thanks for your attention and love!!! Love you all my little robins!!!

Btw, I will probably continue doing this with ikevamp and maybe, maybe, ikesen, but it will take some time, there are a lot of characters in those game series.

[nonymous-nb]

•────~❉᯽❉~───────────────•

Subspace x Tall!Reader

•───────────────~❉᯽❉~────•

"Tall ass bitch. — ..my tall ass bitch."

PHIGHTING! | Headcanons | Fluff | Romantic.

Warning/s: [data not found.]

Extra: [brain dead + my brain can't think of anything LMAO]

• Ngl, I feel like Subspace wouldn't really care if you're tall or not..... lemme just write something up rq.

• Okay so, first of all, he thinks he's the tallest working demon in Blackrock. (He likes to intimidate shorter people with his height.. you can't change my mind.) So seeing someone taller than him and most importantly.. HIS OWN PHUCKING ASSISTANT— he was a bit flabbergasted when he wasn't the taller demon in blackrock now. sad lol.

• He does find your height quite useless and useful sometimes.. that's when he needs to reach much higher places that he can't reach that is.

• He doesn't like you nor does he hate you though, you guessed. he just thinks he doesn't need any assistant as he can do anything by himself, plus he has his biografts to order around.

• That's until neither of them could reach a tall ass shelf.

• He once ordered the biografts carry each other to get something off the shelf anddd... they all fell onto him LMAO—

• He did call out for you to get the stuff he needed, until you said something about him getting a chair or a ladder so he could reach it, yeah, he never asked again as he felt dumb of not thinking of that. -5 pts.

• Don't worry, you got him some mechanical parts as an apology that you think he'd like, so he won't kill you afterwards.

• He thinks it was a nice upgrade for his biografts though. +1 pts

• He is still an ass to you.

• But, he actually forgave you after about 3 months as you kept giving him the things he could use for his biografts, and occasionally asks you to buy some things..

• When he's chill and tired, do ask him about his latest inventions, he'll lighten up, he hides his little excitement and talk about it 24/7 and will never stop.. what have you done. +5 pts

• He now does insist that you go shopping with him at times, whenever he feels like it as you have an advantage to look for stuffs he wants. called you a dang giraffe too

• He makes you his personal eye shopping tree as you can see much higher places..

• Oh yeah, you carry everything too lol

• When you're now on his good side, he would repay you with a nod when you do/did something useful or worth his time.

• Don't worry it's gonna change overtime.. wink wink.

• For most parts, he acts like he doesn't like or care about anything, but wants you to get it for him secretly. do get it for him though.. +3 pts

• Oh, right, forgot to say that when you ask about his biografts or his inventions, AND you're actually interested in them??? Just know he's secretly giddy about it. +20 pts

• But now that he knows you're interested in his inventions, he showcases them to you, he never misses any damn details about it. (he talks about how efficient some of the component parts are too)

• Yay, you're on his good side, he's never letting your ass go now.

• Ngl, he dislikes it when you show anyone else with the same interest as you have for him, your interest shall solely be towards him, and him only.

• If he needs you for something and he can't find you? Yeah, doesn't happen you're the 2nd tallest in this building. no he doesnt wanna be on 2nd place.

• He also has this tendency to steal you away from anyone you talk to.. no matter how important it is, he's the boss, YOUR boss to be exact. So you should only follow HIS orders.. you are his assistant after all.

• Yeah, he only wants you to be interested in his doings and no one else. jealous ahh bit—

• [Y'know what, let's skip to when you guys are dating, yeah? I can't think of anymore bs.. why do i even do this..]

• You'll be the one carrying everything, no matter how small or big it is, you're carrying it.

• He uses you as a ladder, he makes you carry him whenever he can't reach crap.

• Also not only you're his ladder, he makes it as an excuse to do less things. Oh he could reach that? he calls for you. Oh no, it's it's a bit high up with a ladder besides it.... calls you anyway. You're his personal ladder now and you can't get away with it.

• He also makes you give him some piggyback rides, his legs are tired.

• Will definitely blush if you carry him bridal style.

• Don't do it in public though, he might present you a certain tripmine. *winks.*

• Also whenever he has some conversations with Scythe and makes him uncomfortable, he makes you as a shield.

• Scythe definitely think he's being babied.

• Overall, you're his.. you can't change that.

• You can't get away nor run now after all, you have him by your side..

[Ngl, I don't think Subspace really cares about how tall anyone is, he just wants his inventions done and stronger.]

[doyoulikethisanimesong-poll]

I have finally caught up with my Ask inbox!

After having my inbox closed for probably a month or so (I really should note this shit down), I have finally reached the latest ask and queued it up.

Shits Changing

After having a couple weeks of going through your submissions, I had some ideas on how to improve this system because it wasn't working for me and wasn't working for many of you either (as evidenced by the confusion from some people when the 17th Zetsubou song came on). I tried to mitigate this by putting a day or two between songs from the same artist or anime but it wasn't perfect and didn't fix the issues I was having on my end (namely that I just don't want to listen to an animes whole ost for an hour)

From now onwards I will be doing submissions through google forms (or some kind of alternative if something catches my attention. If you have any reccs, lemme know). I will have the submission form open until I get roughly 50 songs (subject to change if I think its too many or too little) and there will only be one song per submission. You will have to be logged into google to make your submission although I will get no data about who sent what, its just a way to stop people from making 17 submissions under the same email. If you want to game the system, I'm gonna make you put atleast a little bit of effort into it.

However do not be discouraged, it doesn't mean you get one submission ever, it just means you only get one submission per submission period. At a rough estimate of how many songs I queue up a week, you will probably get about one submission a week/fortnight.

Here is the current submission form:

The latest submission form will always be amongst the blogs links thing (if you can't tell at this point, I am not particularly good at tumblr and honestly have no idea what half the stuff is called.)

I'll just post a picture and hopefully it will make more sense. I will also be making a post everytime a new submission form is made as well.

Right there in the middle called Submission Form #1, thats what I'm talking about and hopefully is accessible to all of you (I really do not understand how this site works).

But what about my submission, I haven't heard it yet?

If you haven't heard your submission by Poll #493, that means I haven't queued it up. This can be for multiple reasons. The biggest one is that you didn't give me enough information and I could not be fucked scouring the internet trying to decipher your submission so I will be making certain info required for future submissions. Don't be discouraged if you didn't hear your song at that point, it doesn't mean that I hate it and never want to listen to it again, just resubmit it in the new submisssion form with the required information and I will happily throw it in the queue.

Back to the Asks

The ask feature will now go back to being used as intended, namely to ask me personal questions and blog related questions. Any submissions sent through it will just be ignored and deleted but if you want to ask me about my favourite food, favourite anime or my opinion on anything, I will happily answer.

This is my last paragraph, please put up with my last ramblings

From Poll #500 to #510, I will be testing a new poll layout. This is due to people wanting certain options on the poll that I did not originally add due to the limited amount of votes. Now that a poll gains roughly 300 votes at mininum though, I feel its a good time to test a couple extra polling options.